April 7, 2025 • 30 mins
This week the Rats discuss how to win the break up by rebounding HARD. Nora toasts her loser bf with friends, Ali shares her exit strategies by emotionally cheating, and Tara pokes holes in Benny Blanco’s game.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Have you tried using the tears as lube?
No.
Now you're on to something.
We're your hosts, Tara, Nora,and Allie, and you're listening
to Bad Advice Only.
We're just three New York Cityrats talking about scurrying
(00:23):
around the Big Apple.
Here, we make the New York Citymistakes so you don't have to.
We're begging you.
Leave us a review and follow uson Instagram and TikTok at
BadAdviceOnlyNYC.
We release new episodes everyMonday, so stay tuned, rats.
Welcome back, rats.
We've missed you.
Woo-hoo.
(00:45):
I like that.
I hope the mic picks that up.
The little rat chatter.
Yeah.
So before we get started ontoday's episode, we're going to
be talking about how to reboundhoard.
Can we keep saying it like that?
Hoard.
How to.
I'll just say it once so thatpeople know what you're saying.
So that people can understandme.
But really what we're saying ishow to rebound hard.
Hard as fuck.
(01:06):
Okay.
But yeah, before we get intothis, I have some controversy.
Oh my God.
Noria thinks I'm going to gettaken for this opinion.
So apparently it's...
Not a cool opinion.
Have y'all watched or seen atleast clips of the Selena Gomez
interview with her boyfriend orfiance?
Benny.
Oh, yeah.
(01:26):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is a hot topic right now.
Women are flooding the internetbeing like, I would do anything
for my man to talk like that.
What?
I don't give a fuck about thattalk.
Walk the walk, motherfucker.
I don't believe a goddamn wordhe says.
What do you mean walk the walk?
He bought her like a$50 millionring.
Okay, but no.
I don't care about the fuckingring, Allie.
(01:49):
That's the talk still.
I believe Benny.
I think he's a nice guy.
That being said, he's still aman, so how great can he be?
He'll still cheat.
That unibrow will still bebetween someone else's legs.
I didn't watch it.
It's heinous.
He's so pre and like I hope heis that nice I really really do
I hope and maybe that's why hedid it just to put some hope out
(02:13):
in the world because men aremen's like lives are plummeting
right now but I just don'tbelieve him I think Selena's
brainwashed and she's just likenodding along is that men can't
win here yeah correct likethey're either awful or they're
fake nice that's all I've seenso far I mean I kind of agree
(02:34):
like that's actually a goodpoint he's just talking the talk
we'll see time will tell timewill tell time will tell my
fingers are crossed for Selenashe deserves love she deserves
the highest of standards thehighest of men however time will
tell after her time with JayBieber she deserves the world
Jay Biebs fuck you Bieber we'renot believers on this podcast
(02:55):
apparently Hailey Bieber stoppedfollowing him on Instagram these
are the kind of things I don'tcare about drama apparently I do
wait wait quick quick aside tolike drama between spouses and
stuff one time our parents nowho sorry one time drama one
(03:15):
time I got mad at a boyfriendbecause he was watching football
on his phone while we weresupposed to be playing mini golf
with my brother andsister-in-law so I deleted every
photo off Instagram of ustogether but we didn't break up
talk about that's crazy NoraI've seen these like lately like
What's the pettiest thing you'vedone to a boyfriend or
(03:37):
girlfriend?
Nora will always win.
I'm queen petty.
We have so many stories.
You're so petty.
And maybe this is a really greattransition.
How to rebound hoard.
How to rebound hoard.
Say it.
Whored.
You're saying whore.
Whored.
Which maybe we are saying whore.
(03:58):
I love a rebound.
How to rebound like a whore.
I don't know what the agendasays, but I love a fucking
rebound.
Well, Nora really pressured meon today's outline about not
being so intense.
My outlines apparently are toolong.
She writes really detailedoutlines.
She writes it like she's writinga thesis.
She's like defending a thesis.
(04:19):
It's my favorite part aboutthis.
She's like the rats Zara wasborn in 1995.
What's on that outline?
Okay, it's very bare bones.
I felt very nervous because Norawas giving me shit last night
for it.
So today I want to talk abouthow to successfully rebound
after a breakup.
In past, Nora has talked about,you know, how to take the
(04:40):
breakup.
You take it like a champ andit's going to leave them wanting
more.
It's going to leave themregretting.
But what do you do after that?
Because you know you're notgoing back to them.
We're not going back.
Well, in some cases.
Sometimes we do.
For like six months or so.
I don't.
We're all different.
We're all a little different.
Sometimes you fall back and heputs a thumb in your asshole,
but that's not directed atanybody.
(05:01):
You know what?
That did happen to me.
Right.
Oh, is it my example?
That's very funny.
You're like, weird.
That's so spot on.
Spot on.
Deja vu.
Okay, so I was thinking abouthow the three of us all rebound.
And I wanted to talk first aboutNora.
(05:22):
She takes the breakup.
She's right in the face, handlesit well.
Right in the face.
Third time's the charm.
Third time's the charm.
Yeah, listener, I was oncebroken up with three times by
the same man.
Quick aside.
Quick aside.
We had friends from Europe comeinto town this week, and they
(05:44):
were like, how's Nora and herboyfriend?
And I was like, oh, my God.
They broke up for the thirdtime, and they were like, what
the fuck?
They could not keep up with thestory.
No, me neither.
I think back then.
I'm like, why did he break upwith me that time?
Like, I don't remember.
Yeah, it's mostly because he washungry.
But she did do her rebound hoardafter that breakup and threw
(06:05):
herself a motherfucking party.
Yeah.
Tell us about your party.
I mean, I think it should bestandard.
I think it should be foreveryone.
A breakup party.
A breakup party.
To be fair, though, your breakupparty got some interesting
responses, RSVPs.
Yeah.
You know, I thought I'd get moresympathy than I did.
We got a lot of people beinglike, hey, I'm out of town.
I mean, to be fair we sent theinvite same day so basically
(06:29):
okay so I'm sorry I took overyou start you got broken up with
then what happened I got dumpedwe sent out a group chat mass
group chat saying hey it's meI've been dumped again and we're
gonna rage
SPEAKER_01 (06:41):
meet us at this bar this
SPEAKER_00 (06:43):
time I'm pretty sure in the text it was like believe
it or not I've been dumped againshould I try to find it
somewhere in there but yeah sowe went out and raged and I
think you should always do thatwhen you go through a breakup
but I think there's also rulesto the rage um i think we agreed
that you have to cheers to um ithink you have to what was the
you have to make a toast so youall have to say something bad
(07:05):
about the the person the ex
SPEAKER_01 (07:08):
yes and then if you get back
SPEAKER_00 (07:09):
together and you end up going the distance and
getting married whoever was atthe breakup party that goes to
the wedding does a cheers at thewedding oh yeah i forgot about
that we all were allowed towrite a eulogy yeah a eulogy
with no holds bar let me tellyou that That night, I heard
some crazy things about, like,what do we call him?
Bitch Boy Benjamin.
(07:31):
Real name.
Great name.
But, like, y'all were sayingsome crazy shit.
Like, people were like, histeeth were so bad.
No, that was me.
That was me.
I still stand by that.
But, you know what?
I said that to you while youwere dating.
She was like, I don't like hislittle teeth.
I was like, no.
They were like little chiclets.
Yeah, they were bad.
They were bad teeth.
Yeah.
You know what?
(07:51):
The teeth, you can't help it.
You can do some, but you can'thelp some.
I'll say it's better thatsomeone says it's teeth or
something physical than like Youknow, you hate everything that
your boyfriend stands for.
For sure.
I really thought he had a smallhead.
I said it while you were dating.
I said it after they broke up.
His body was way too big for hishead.
(08:13):
I could never see him spot onbecause he's like eight feet
taller than me.
I got so many weird commentsabout his physical appearance.
Oh, it was mostly physical?
I guess he was just ugly.
What do you think if men were tothrow a breakup party?
They would obviously attack thephysical.
About me?
Nature.
No, anyone.
They would obviously attack ourphysique.
They'd You might say we have badpussy.
We're talking about it.
(08:34):
Bad pussy.
They definitely don't talk aboutit.
They just go out and flirt.
Yeah, that's true.
Men don't talk.
They flirt hard.
Oh, you think men are reboundingwith sex?
I don't think men arerebounders.
I don't think men know how torebound for sure.
I think men rebound emotionally,not physically.
Yeah, and I think Allie might bea man in this scenario.
I'm always a man.
(08:55):
She's on the...
You know, we don't need a maleperspective on this podcast
because we have Allie.
Allie we're at.
UNKNOWN (09:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (09:03):
So, North, there's a party.
Allie on the flippity-flop.
does absolutely nothing torebound.
I
SPEAKER_01 (09:11):
just sit there
SPEAKER_00 (09:12):
and wallow.
She just cries.
She's just like a sad girl.
She's an emotional...
She's just sad.
But I will say, she doesslightly emotionally cheat in
her relationships.
All the time.
She really does.
Allie's an emotional cheater.
She keeps these men on standby.
She keeps them on lock.
Yeah, as you should.
You know how easy it was thenight Rave Daddy and I broke up.
(09:33):
I had like six guys that I waslike, would you marry me though
today?
And they're like, yes.
I've been waiting...
Are we in a relationship?
Why do we text every day?
I'm like, I'm not ready yet.
But you had six men ready tojust get straight to Jersey and
give it to you.
But, yeah, Allie doesn't reallydo the physical rebound, I would
(09:53):
say.
She always waits, like, a goodamount of time, at least from
what I've experienced.
Have you ever physicallyrebounded, like, within a couple
days?
A couple days?
That's what a rebound is.
Yeah, that's a rebound.
No, like, a couple weeks tomonths.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The closest I got was afterRyan.
Real names on this podcast.
(10:14):
He's always been Ryan.
I can say his last name.
Makes poutine in Union Square.
What'd you do to him?
To be fair, whatever she saysgoes because he cheated on her
with a threesome.
And came home and slept withyou.
And that's all we know about,right?
It could have been much worse.
(10:35):
That's what he confessed to.
I like to think that if you'reconfessing, you just confess it
all.
But like, you know, he's sayinghe just kissed her.
Like, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Come on.
So this is a fun topic.
So no.
So I after him, I went out thatnight.
I remember I went out in fight.
I was like a bunch of my friendsthat I never go out with
(10:57):
thinking I would rebound.
And then I cried the wholenight.
Yeah.
As I do.
And then like, I think a weekand a half later, maybe I met
the German guy.
Wait, German Matt?
Yeah, German Matt.
Interesting.
So he was a rebound physically.
Technically, yes.
Nice.
Aw, that's kind of cute.
Yeah, that's kind of sweet.
Ten years later, still boning.
Still boning.
(11:17):
That's adorable.
Are you over Ryan at this point?
Yes.
But I just mean like every timeI seem to go through a
situation, there's my littleGerman Matt.
That's kind of nice.
You have a standby rebound boy.
Okay, so Allie is a rebounder.
She is a sneaky rebounder, butno, she's a rebounder.
She's just emotionally cheatingon her boyfriend.
That's true.
(11:38):
Yeah.
I like that about you.
One time I broke up with a man.
In the morning before work.
8 a.m.
8 a.m.
And then after work, I went outto dinner with our friend and
showed his pants, AJ.
Shout out.
Shout out.
It's been a minute.
And then that same night, I wasmaking out with a 45-year-old.
(11:59):
Oh, that's when you were livingwith me.
I remember this.
Yeah.
And he offered to get us a hotelso he could go down on me.
Did he not live here?
He, like, had his brother intown.
He probably lived with his wifeor something.
His brother was in town.
No, there was no wife.
Come on.
You don't know that.
I guess I don't know.
She goes, come on.
Jerome Cologne crying at a bar.
You're the victim here.
No, I was crying at, I was fullycrying at the bar and I made out
(12:22):
with him and it was very funny.
And then he like wanted to dateand I was like, I don't, why?
Why?
That is terrifying.
I don't know, some men getreally horny by tears.
That's a kink.
I was literally like, maybe hethought he found the one.
I was literally sobbing and Iwas like, yeah, you could like
just go down on me but like,that's all I'm really ready for.
(12:43):
And then he was like texting mefor weeks being like, I really
want to take you out.
And I'm like, I really don'tthink you do.
Not my verse, but you're in it.
You did do well.
You did end up hooking up withsomeone like two days later.
I always end up, when me andbitch boy Benjamin broke up like
round two.
(13:04):
You got after it.
I went on like three dates inone night like two days later.
And I actually didn't end upsleeping with anyone.
But then when we got backtogether, He kept implying that
I did, and I didn't correct him,because I was like, stop
breaking up with me.
What a little bitch, boy.
Okay, yes, stop breaking up withme.
I literally never reassured him.
(13:25):
He thought I slept with peoplethe whole time we dated after
that, and I was just like, yep.
Two problems here, and I'mgetting so riled up thinking
about it.
Number one, yeah, stop making mysister single, and maybe she'll
stop sleeping around.
Right.
Two...
stop insinuating it and implyingit.
Just be a grown man and ask ifyou need to know.
(13:46):
Or just know you fucked up andtherefore I fucked all your
friends.
I didn't, but you kind of wish Idid.
It was on your list ofpettiness.
You're like, I'm going to sleepwith every one of his friends,
including the girls.
Fully legit, there is one friendhe has who if he reaches out
today, I will fuck him.
Oh, that hot guy?
Yep.
The second that guy hits me up,I will fuck him.
(14:08):
And he has my number.
Ooh, it's coming.
I give it six months.
He'll text.
Come for me, baby boy.
I have this flashback memory ofmaybe the I don't remember the
second time he broke up withyou.
First or second.
And you were at a coffee shopliterally in the East Village
and you were like, hey, comemeet me.
I'm just getting coffee.
(14:28):
And it was like 32 degreesoutside and you were wearing
like this like cute little skirtand like crop top.
And I was like, where the fuckare you going?
It's like 2 p.m.
on a Saturday.
And you were like, must lookcute now that I'm single.
Yeah.
That is part of my like breakuproutine.
I like get hot every day becauseit just makes me feel better,
honestly.
That's what they say you'resupposed to do.
(14:48):
yeah like I like genuinely willdress up and put on my makeup on
a normal day which I never dobut like I like it because then
dudes look at me and like hit onme which I get you know it's
just like a self esteem thing Idon't do that self esteem thing
oh but I love it and then I liketo be mean to them I'm like
sweatpants Chinese food greaseon the sweatshirt wear it five
(15:09):
days in a row that's the classiclike breakup yeah Ally does
embody a lot of the like classicbreakup girl like just bursting
out in tears randomly Mine, nowthat we've discussed you two,
mine is somewhere else.
I think you're kind of arebounder.
I'm a hard rebounder.
(15:31):
The minute you walk out of mylife, I am on it.
Wait, can you talk about whenyou and Old Balls broke up?
Baby girl,
SPEAKER_01 (15:41):
I have that
SPEAKER_00 (15:42):
list.
This is actually crazy.
This is like a hard reset.
Okay, so yes, listener, Irebound hoard.
I immediately text the last fiveguys I fucked before my
relationship.
I immediately unpause him.
It doesn't matter who it was.
I go fucking ham on my clit.
(16:07):
And there's a little bit of astory behind old balls.
So bear with me, listener.
Old Balls and I did have ahiatus where we broke up for
like a day.
No.
You broke up with Old Balls inyour mind.
You guys never officially brokeup.
(16:27):
Let's get real.
No, no, no.
This is a different story.
This is a different time.
You can't rewrite history.
Excuse me.
This is a different time.
I broke up with Old Balls onetime in my brain.
Yes.
Then I fucked jalapeno dick.
Then I really did break up withOld Balls.
Okay.
Like with your words.
I'm not telepathy.
(16:49):
With words.
Yeah, yeah.
Nora was here for this.
So I call Nora.
She's in her room.
I'm in my room.
That's right, listener.
We're rich.
Our apartment is so big.
We don't share a wall.
Was he in the room while youwere calling?
No, I broke up with him over thephone and I called Nora to come
in and I was like, I just brokeup with old balls.
And she's like, what?
(17:09):
Why?
Things seem to be going well.
We were planning our annual laketrip.
And listener, you've heard aboutthis.
We go to the lake in Georgia.
And he was supposed to come.
However, little did I know hewas drunk during this
conversation and we're textingabout planning our trip.
(17:30):
I forgot that he was a littlebit of an alcoholic.
Yeah, he had a drinking problemfor sure.
He lets me know, hey, I'm reallynot sure if I can make it
anymore.
And I was like, why?
I thought we cleared it with thedaughter.
His daughter, she was stayingwith mom that weekend.
Like, what's going on?
How can you not go anymore?
Yeah.
(17:51):
Blake Tripp landed on hisex-wife's birthday.
Oh,
SPEAKER_01 (17:56):
yeah, I forgot about this.
SPEAKER_00 (17:57):
And he wanted to spend her birthday together with
his ex-wife.
And I was like, I'm confused.
Can you explain?
Which one do you love?
Can you please explain?
I would have respected him if hewas like, It's my daughter's
first time.
(18:17):
It's her first like six monthsin America.
I want to make sure she feelslike supported.
And the three of us, I'm justgoing to take them out to
dinner.
I could maybe, maybe toleratethat.
But he was wasted withouttelling me he's wasted.
And he's like, I don't know.
I just, I miss her.
And I was like, what?
May I interject here?
(18:38):
Please.
It was also your birthday thatsame week.
So yeah, this is where it...
Really, it's fucked up.
Her birthday was...
two days before mine.
So he had the ex-wife and thecurrent girlfriend to choose
from.
And he chose ex-wife.
And he chose ex-wife.
So I was like, you know what?
This is getting really weird.
You're drunk and telling me youwant to spend your ex-wife's
(19:01):
birthday with her.
We're going to break up.
And, like, I did not mean it.
I really liked him then.
I was, like, really into it.
I forgot.
You spent a lot of that weekcrying.
I was so sad.
I was, like, not ready for thebreakup, even though it should
have happened.
It should have been then.
It should have been then but Iwas so not ready so I do my old
(19:21):
thing I look back at the oldrecords and I identify the last
five men I fucked and then Iredownload hinge and I just
start going ham I schedule datesI I hear back from one guy we'll
call him the British guy oh Imiss him he's so cute he and his
friend are starting a podcast Iheard maybe we can collab let's
collab so he responds firsteager beaver and he's and he
(19:46):
also lives like a block awayfrom us back in the day last
time we slept together and he'slike hey I actually moved he
lives now a block away from oldballs stop dating men in his
vicinity I know dude I feel likeI've got like this like magnet
now it's weird it's cause it'sin fucking broke ass Brooklyn
it's actually the nicer part ofBrooklyn thank you very much so
(20:06):
anyways Britton and I are gonnahang out the very next day and
I'm like I'm gonna get it andfuck old balls fuck this guy the
next morning of course I hearback from old balls he's like
I'm so sorry I don't evenremember what we talked about.
I was drunk.
You're 50.
I don't think you should beblacking out at 50.
(20:52):
I say, no, thank you.
Turn right back around and gointo the same bar and meet the
British man five minutes later.
The same bar.
Same bar.
Did you fuck him?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Horde.
whore whore whore that's whatwe're talking about I have to
say there really is somethingabout fucking someone after a
breakup that like heals the soullike it really does it does Ali
(21:13):
you need to get on this trainyou need to it's like I have no
one currently to break up withmaybe the marine I don't know
the one that just ghosted merecently Jesus she's gonna be
married in a week next timearound like it's so healing
after like cause the you know atthe end of a relationship it's
always bad there's like monthsof like this drama and back and
(21:35):
forth and like they're just sodraining on you and like even if
you're having sex it's not likethe same and then you just have
this uncomplicated sex with abetter dick and I'm telling you
it heals you fully like I feel100% after I have sex with one
person.
I can't get wet right after.
(21:57):
Like, I am so emotionallydevastated.
My tears, my wetness from mypussy comes out of my eyes.
Okay, here's your solution.
You grab that man's face.
You push it down to your vagina.
No, no.
And you say spit.
I can't do it.
I'm dead inside.
Have you tried using the tearsas lube?
No.
Now you're on to something.
(22:18):
In a way, I used German mat.
I got a rebound from the dad.
Did you?
You were still seeing the deck.
And you were like emotionalslash physical cheating.
Yeah.
Now that I'm thinking about it,Ally doesn't need to rebound
because she's just cheating.
Like she's just cheating thewhole time.
She has guys constantly textingher, I would treat you better.
I like you.
(22:39):
No, 100% of my life doesn't makeany sense.
Like Friday, Mercury's in fullretrograde.
Like I'm telling you, I had onFriday night like six different
guys texting me that came out ofthe woodworks and I just keep
them all around.
It's always like that.
It's like, dry, dry, dry allweek and then nine of them.
And I'm like, where were you?
When I'm in a full-blownrelationship, I feel as though
(23:00):
it's like the...
Dry, dry, dry.
So dry.
No, and like, I feel like it's atest to see if I really like
them.
It's like that three-monthmarker.
You're like, stop testing me,universe.
Dude, I cannot...
I never notice hot people.
Until you're in a relationship?
Until I'm in a relationship.
(23:21):
I feel the exact same way.
Right.
All of a sudden there are hotass men and women everywhere and
looking at me and giving meattention.
I'm like, what is this?
Is this?
Yeah.
What is this energy that I'mputting out there that the post
is about to get locked down?
Mm hmm.
The fuck?
I think I just want a good lay.
Yeah.
(23:42):
I don't give anyone a good lightthis weekend, except for Tara.
What?
I just wanted to see yourreaction.
You guys hooked up?
I tried.
Oh.
There was an attempt, I think,this weekend.
We went on a throuple date.
It was Allie, Ray, myself, andpiece of shit.
It was very romantic.
And we tried to make it an orgywith his neighbor.
And his sister.
UNKNOWN (24:03):
Ooh.
SPEAKER_00 (24:03):
Yeah, neighbor showed up with his sister, and
it was a real boner killer.
I thought that it was his wife,and I was like, this isn't going
to work.
Why not?
See?
All right.
So when I was thinking about therebound and like why people do
it, so Nora says it cures hersoul.
It heals the soul.
It heals the soul.
Here's a couple of reasons as towhy we do it in a psychological
(24:28):
analysis.
One, it's a coping mechanism.
Sure.
To not feel alone.
Well, that's number two, fear ofloneliness.
I don't think it's a– for me,it's definitely not a fear of
loneliness because I don't wantto date them.
I have yours already listed.
It's like an empty void.
It's feeling an empty void.
I don't think it's a void, Al.
It's like a celebration.
(24:48):
It is.
It's like a fucking like– it'slike a release, a relief and a
release.
It's incredible.
It's kind of like what we talkedabout on reasons why or signs
you hate your boyfriend.
You've already broken up withhim in your head.
Yeah.
(25:17):
Nora's basement boyfriend.
There's so many things wrongwith him, but he's like
definitely terrified of beingalone.
Can't handle it.
He got married.
Speaking of rebounds, he gotengaged like months after we
broke up.
Like six weeks after, yeah.
Literally, he met his now wife,I think, under two weeks after
we broke up.
Yeah.
And he's been in a basement.
And we were living together in abasement.
(25:38):
Self-esteem issues.
Rave daddy.
Yep.
UNKNOWN (25:43):
You got it.
Woo!
SPEAKER_00 (25:44):
Rave Daddy has terrible self-esteem, like poor
guy.
Horrendous.
A lot of guys who date.
I almost feel bad for him, but Idon't.
I don't know about her at all.
A lot of guys who date youngerhave really bad self-esteem.
Like, that's why he, like, bragsabout dating 19-year-olds.
It's like, one, is that a bragor is that disgusting?
(26:04):
I'm like, how do you even dothat?
She can't go out to a bar.
And also, why are you tellingme?
Is this your attempt on gettingback together with me, by the
way?
Has any girl ever?
You know what's funny is, like,this whole, like, trope, like,
this cliche of, like, oh, he'sgoing to marry someone half my
age.
Does anyone actually get madabout that or are you just like,
ew?
Yeah, I don't know.
(26:24):
I don't get mad.
I'm like, oh.
I think the only people that getmad is if there's kids involved
in the relationship because thenthat's like a horrendous
example.
Like whether you have a son or adaughter or both, it's
disgusting.
But yeah, I don't think– atypical woman would get mad
about it.
I don't think you get mad.
And just be like, that's so sad.
You're like, oh no.
It's so gross.
(26:44):
Like, I honestly, I would almostblame myself and be like, what
did I do to him?
Well, I think this is getting alittle sad and less funny.
They're probably the ones thatalso have self-esteem issues to
be like, okay, well, like, if Itry to find someone else, no one
would be interested in mebecause I'm not as young.
Yeah, and then they probablythink they're so great because
they're this older, what theywould assume is established
person, but all he does is bitchabout his ex.
(27:06):
It's sad on both ends.
Like, we have, like, enoughself-esteem to realize that that
is disgusting.
Right.
You know what I mean?
But most people are like, oh, myGod, let me get Botox and shit.
Do you think anyone listening tous thinks we have self-esteem?
No.
Not one.
Not one.
The comments are like, thesebitches hate themselves.
But thinking about old balls, Ithink he was definitely a coping
(27:29):
mechanism.
I truly believe he's justlooking for his next daughter's
stepmom.
Yeah.
Sad.
He's never going to find it.
UNKNOWN (27:36):
No, no.
SPEAKER_00 (27:37):
Maybe before he finds a mom, he should try being
a dad.
I don't think so.
Financially, he was a father.
Barely.
He just got a real job.
Financially, he was alive.
Guys, he was a DJ while he had achild.
(27:57):
We haven't talked about thatenough.
Comparable to rave daddies.
I got a lot of shit for that.
This man's a 50-year-old DJ.
I'm not saying one is better orworse but at least Old Balls was
being paid for his DJing.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I got a free Rumble membership.
Rave Daddy was paid in workoutclasses.
(28:17):
Yeah, why didn't he lose anyweight?
I love the amount of rage thatTara has for him.
Like, she hates on him way morethan I've ever hated on this
man.
You know what?
Fool me once, shame on me,right?
Wait, what is it?
Stop cheating on my friend.
Fool me twice, fuck you.
No, I really, I gave it my allwhen we gave him the second
(28:42):
chance, and he really scornedme.
You know, how fucked up I am.
I was like, what second chance?
All right, so to recap before wewrap.
So Nora's advice is throw aparty.
Get hot every day.
You wipe those little tears awayand you get that mascara on.
(29:04):
Allie, emotionally cheatthroughout your entire
relationship so you have someoneto coddle you post-breakup.
Tara, sleep with anything andeverything that walks past you.
Which one would you do, Rats?
Healthy boundaries.
Yeah, Rats, we want to hear fromyou.
How do you rebound?
Hoard.
Hoard.
(29:24):
And that's a great wrap.
And while I have you all on mic.
What?
Guys, I did something really badlast night.
What?
Is this the episode?
Well, stay tuned to find outwhat Allie did.
No, no.
I'm going to tell you nowbecause I need your reactions
live.
What?
Okay.
Oh, my God.
Who did you fuck?
Who did you fuck?
The married guy.
(29:45):
If you fucked Rave Daddy, I'mgoing to punch you in the face.
Guys, I'm sorry.
Who?
It was Rave Daddy.
Last night?
Last night.
You're shitting with us.
Are you joking?
No.
You're joking.
Why are you saying this on my-It's April Fool's.
April
SPEAKER_01 (30:04):
Fool's.
Good damn it.
SPEAKER_00 (30:06):
Toodle brats.
As always, thanks for listening.
If you're interested in evenmore bad advice, scurry on over
to Instagram and TikTok atbadadviceonlynyc.
We're begging you.
Download and rate the show andleave us a review.
Talk to you next Monday.
Stay tuned, brats.
Have you tried using the tears as lube?
No.
Now you're on to something.
We're your hosts, Tara, Nora,and Allie, and you're listening
to Bad Advice Only.
We're just three New York Cityrats talking about scurrying
(00:23):
around the Big Apple.
Here, we make the New York Citymistakes so you don't have to.
We're begging you.
Leave us a review and follow uson Instagram and TikTok at
BadAdviceOnlyNYC.
We release new episodes everyMonday, so stay tuned, rats.
Welcome back, rats.
We've missed you.
Woo-hoo.
(00:45):
I like that.
I hope the mic picks that up.
The little rat chatter.
Yeah.
So before we get started ontoday's episode, we're going to
be talking about how to reboundhoard.
Can we keep saying it like that?
Hoard.
How to.
I'll just say it once so thatpeople know what you're saying.
So that people can understandme.
But really what we're saying ishow to rebound hard.
Hard as fuck.
(01:06):
Okay.
But yeah, before we get intothis, I have some controversy.
Oh my God.
Noria thinks I'm going to gettaken for this opinion.
So apparently it's...
Not a cool opinion.
Have y'all watched or seen atleast clips of the Selena Gomez
interview with her boyfriend orfiance?
Benny.
Oh, yeah.
(01:26):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is a hot topic right now.
Women are flooding the internetbeing like, I would do anything
for my man to talk like that.
What?
I don't give a fuck about thattalk.
Walk the walk, motherfucker.
I don't believe a goddamn wordhe says.
What do you mean walk the walk?
He bought her like a$50 millionring.
Okay, but no.
I don't care about the fuckingring, Allie.
(01:49):
That's the talk still.
I believe Benny.
I think he's a nice guy.
That being said, he's still aman, so how great can he be?
He'll still cheat.
That unibrow will still bebetween someone else's legs.
I didn't watch it.
It's heinous.
He's so pre and like I hope heis that nice I really really do
I hope and maybe that's why hedid it just to put some hope out
(02:13):
in the world because men aremen's like lives are plummeting
right now but I just don'tbelieve him I think Selena's
brainwashed and she's just likenodding along is that men can't
win here yeah correct likethey're either awful or they're
fake nice that's all I've seenso far I mean I kind of agree
(02:34):
like that's actually a goodpoint he's just talking the talk
we'll see time will tell timewill tell time will tell my
fingers are crossed for Selenashe deserves love she deserves
the highest of standards thehighest of men however time will
tell after her time with JayBieber she deserves the world
Jay Biebs fuck you Bieber we'renot believers on this podcast
(02:55):
apparently Hailey Bieber stoppedfollowing him on Instagram these
are the kind of things I don'tcare about drama apparently I do
wait wait quick quick aside tolike drama between spouses and
stuff one time our parents nowho sorry one time drama one
(03:15):
time I got mad at a boyfriendbecause he was watching football
on his phone while we weresupposed to be playing mini golf
with my brother andsister-in-law so I deleted every
photo off Instagram of ustogether but we didn't break up
talk about that's crazy NoraI've seen these like lately like
What's the pettiest thing you'vedone to a boyfriend or
(03:37):
girlfriend?
Nora will always win.
I'm queen petty.
We have so many stories.
You're so petty.
And maybe this is a really greattransition.
How to rebound hoard.
How to rebound hoard.
Say it.
Whored.
You're saying whore.
Whored.
Which maybe we are saying whore.
(03:58):
I love a rebound.
How to rebound like a whore.
I don't know what the agendasays, but I love a fucking
rebound.
Well, Nora really pressured meon today's outline about not
being so intense.
My outlines apparently are toolong.
She writes really detailedoutlines.
She writes it like she's writinga thesis.
She's like defending a thesis.
(04:19):
It's my favorite part aboutthis.
She's like the rats Zara wasborn in 1995.
What's on that outline?
Okay, it's very bare bones.
I felt very nervous because Norawas giving me shit last night
for it.
So today I want to talk abouthow to successfully rebound
after a breakup.
In past, Nora has talked about,you know, how to take the
(04:40):
breakup.
You take it like a champ andit's going to leave them wanting
more.
It's going to leave themregretting.
But what do you do after that?
Because you know you're notgoing back to them.
We're not going back.
Well, in some cases.
Sometimes we do.
For like six months or so.
I don't.
We're all different.
We're all a little different.
Sometimes you fall back and heputs a thumb in your asshole,
but that's not directed atanybody.
(05:01):
You know what?
That did happen to me.
Right.
Oh, is it my example?
That's very funny.
You're like, weird.
That's so spot on.
Spot on.
Deja vu.
Okay, so I was thinking abouthow the three of us all rebound.
And I wanted to talk first aboutNora.
(05:22):
She takes the breakup.
She's right in the face, handlesit well.
Right in the face.
Third time's the charm.
Third time's the charm.
Yeah, listener, I was oncebroken up with three times by
the same man.
Quick aside.
Quick aside.
We had friends from Europe comeinto town this week, and they
(05:44):
were like, how's Nora and herboyfriend?
And I was like, oh, my God.
They broke up for the thirdtime, and they were like, what
the fuck?
They could not keep up with thestory.
No, me neither.
I think back then.
I'm like, why did he break upwith me that time?
Like, I don't remember.
Yeah, it's mostly because he washungry.
But she did do her rebound hoardafter that breakup and threw
(06:05):
herself a motherfucking party.
Yeah.
Tell us about your party.
I mean, I think it should bestandard.
I think it should be foreveryone.
A breakup party.
A breakup party.
To be fair, though, your breakupparty got some interesting
responses, RSVPs.
Yeah.
You know, I thought I'd get moresympathy than I did.
We got a lot of people beinglike, hey, I'm out of town.
I mean, to be fair we sent theinvite same day so basically
(06:29):
okay so I'm sorry I took overyou start you got broken up with
then what happened I got dumpedwe sent out a group chat mass
group chat saying hey it's meI've been dumped again and we're
gonna rage
SPEAKER_01 (06:41):
meet us at this bar this
SPEAKER_00 (06:43):
time I'm pretty sure in the text it was like believe
it or not I've been dumped againshould I try to find it
somewhere in there but yeah sowe went out and raged and I
think you should always do thatwhen you go through a breakup
but I think there's also rulesto the rage um i think we agreed
that you have to cheers to um ithink you have to what was the
you have to make a toast so youall have to say something bad
(07:05):
about the the person the ex
SPEAKER_01 (07:08):
yes and then if you get back
SPEAKER_00 (07:09):
together and you end up going the distance and
getting married whoever was atthe breakup party that goes to
the wedding does a cheers at thewedding oh yeah i forgot about
that we all were allowed towrite a eulogy yeah a eulogy
with no holds bar let me tellyou that That night, I heard
some crazy things about, like,what do we call him?
Bitch Boy Benjamin.
(07:31):
Real name.
Great name.
But, like, y'all were sayingsome crazy shit.
Like, people were like, histeeth were so bad.
No, that was me.
That was me.
I still stand by that.
But, you know what?
I said that to you while youwere dating.
She was like, I don't like hislittle teeth.
I was like, no.
They were like little chiclets.
Yeah, they were bad.
They were bad teeth.
Yeah.
You know what?
(07:51):
The teeth, you can't help it.
You can do some, but you can'thelp some.
I'll say it's better thatsomeone says it's teeth or
something physical than like Youknow, you hate everything that
your boyfriend stands for.
For sure.
I really thought he had a smallhead.
I said it while you were dating.
I said it after they broke up.
His body was way too big for hishead.
(08:13):
I could never see him spot onbecause he's like eight feet
taller than me.
I got so many weird commentsabout his physical appearance.
Oh, it was mostly physical?
I guess he was just ugly.
What do you think if men were tothrow a breakup party?
They would obviously attack thephysical.
About me?
Nature.
No, anyone.
They would obviously attack ourphysique.
They'd You might say we have badpussy.
We're talking about it.
(08:34):
Bad pussy.
They definitely don't talk aboutit.
They just go out and flirt.
Yeah, that's true.
Men don't talk.
They flirt hard.
Oh, you think men are reboundingwith sex?
I don't think men arerebounders.
I don't think men know how torebound for sure.
I think men rebound emotionally,not physically.
Yeah, and I think Allie might bea man in this scenario.
I'm always a man.
(08:55):
She's on the...
You know, we don't need a maleperspective on this podcast
because we have Allie.
Allie we're at.
UNKNOWN (09:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (09:03):
So, North, there's a party.
Allie on the flippity-flop.
does absolutely nothing torebound.
I
SPEAKER_01 (09:11):
just sit there
SPEAKER_00 (09:12):
and wallow.
She just cries.
She's just like a sad girl.
She's an emotional...
She's just sad.
But I will say, she doesslightly emotionally cheat in
her relationships.
All the time.
She really does.
Allie's an emotional cheater.
She keeps these men on standby.
She keeps them on lock.
Yeah, as you should.
You know how easy it was thenight Rave Daddy and I broke up.
(09:33):
I had like six guys that I waslike, would you marry me though
today?
And they're like, yes.
I've been waiting...
Are we in a relationship?
Why do we text every day?
I'm like, I'm not ready yet.
But you had six men ready tojust get straight to Jersey and
give it to you.
But, yeah, Allie doesn't reallydo the physical rebound, I would
(09:53):
say.
She always waits, like, a goodamount of time, at least from
what I've experienced.
Have you ever physicallyrebounded, like, within a couple
days?
A couple days?
That's what a rebound is.
Yeah, that's a rebound.
No, like, a couple weeks tomonths.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The closest I got was afterRyan.
Real names on this podcast.
(10:14):
He's always been Ryan.
I can say his last name.
Makes poutine in Union Square.
What'd you do to him?
To be fair, whatever she saysgoes because he cheated on her
with a threesome.
And came home and slept withyou.
And that's all we know about,right?
It could have been much worse.
(10:35):
That's what he confessed to.
I like to think that if you'reconfessing, you just confess it
all.
But like, you know, he's sayinghe just kissed her.
Like, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Come on.
So this is a fun topic.
So no.
So I after him, I went out thatnight.
I remember I went out in fight.
I was like a bunch of my friendsthat I never go out with
(10:57):
thinking I would rebound.
And then I cried the wholenight.
Yeah.
As I do.
And then like, I think a weekand a half later, maybe I met
the German guy.
Wait, German Matt?
Yeah, German Matt.
Interesting.
So he was a rebound physically.
Technically, yes.
Nice.
Aw, that's kind of cute.
Yeah, that's kind of sweet.
Ten years later, still boning.
Still boning.
(11:17):
That's adorable.
Are you over Ryan at this point?
Yes.
But I just mean like every timeI seem to go through a
situation, there's my littleGerman Matt.
That's kind of nice.
You have a standby rebound boy.
Okay, so Allie is a rebounder.
She is a sneaky rebounder, butno, she's a rebounder.
She's just emotionally cheatingon her boyfriend.
That's true.
(11:38):
Yeah.
I like that about you.
One time I broke up with a man.
In the morning before work.
8 a.m.
8 a.m.
And then after work, I went outto dinner with our friend and
showed his pants, AJ.
Shout out.
Shout out.
It's been a minute.
And then that same night, I wasmaking out with a 45-year-old.
(11:59):
Oh, that's when you were livingwith me.
I remember this.
Yeah.
And he offered to get us a hotelso he could go down on me.
Did he not live here?
He, like, had his brother intown.
He probably lived with his wifeor something.
His brother was in town.
No, there was no wife.
Come on.
You don't know that.
I guess I don't know.
She goes, come on.
Jerome Cologne crying at a bar.
You're the victim here.
No, I was crying at, I was fullycrying at the bar and I made out
(12:22):
with him and it was very funny.
And then he like wanted to dateand I was like, I don't, why?
Why?
That is terrifying.
I don't know, some men getreally horny by tears.
That's a kink.
I was literally like, maybe hethought he found the one.
I was literally sobbing and Iwas like, yeah, you could like
just go down on me but like,that's all I'm really ready for.
(12:43):
And then he was like texting mefor weeks being like, I really
want to take you out.
And I'm like, I really don'tthink you do.
Not my verse, but you're in it.
You did do well.
You did end up hooking up withsomeone like two days later.
I always end up, when me andbitch boy Benjamin broke up like
round two.
(13:04):
You got after it.
I went on like three dates inone night like two days later.
And I actually didn't end upsleeping with anyone.
But then when we got backtogether, He kept implying that
I did, and I didn't correct him,because I was like, stop
breaking up with me.
What a little bitch, boy.
Okay, yes, stop breaking up withme.
I literally never reassured him.
(13:25):
He thought I slept with peoplethe whole time we dated after
that, and I was just like, yep.
Two problems here, and I'mgetting so riled up thinking
about it.
Number one, yeah, stop making mysister single, and maybe she'll
stop sleeping around.
Right.
Two...
stop insinuating it and implyingit.
Just be a grown man and ask ifyou need to know.
(13:46):
Or just know you fucked up andtherefore I fucked all your
friends.
I didn't, but you kind of wish Idid.
It was on your list ofpettiness.
You're like, I'm going to sleepwith every one of his friends,
including the girls.
Fully legit, there is one friendhe has who if he reaches out
today, I will fuck him.
Oh, that hot guy?
Yep.
The second that guy hits me up,I will fuck him.
(14:08):
And he has my number.
Ooh, it's coming.
I give it six months.
He'll text.
Come for me, baby boy.
I have this flashback memory ofmaybe the I don't remember the
second time he broke up withyou.
First or second.
And you were at a coffee shopliterally in the East Village
and you were like, hey, comemeet me.
I'm just getting coffee.
(14:28):
And it was like 32 degreesoutside and you were wearing
like this like cute little skirtand like crop top.
And I was like, where the fuckare you going?
It's like 2 p.m.
on a Saturday.
And you were like, must lookcute now that I'm single.
Yeah.
That is part of my like breakuproutine.
I like get hot every day becauseit just makes me feel better,
honestly.
That's what they say you'resupposed to do.
(14:48):
yeah like I like genuinely willdress up and put on my makeup on
a normal day which I never dobut like I like it because then
dudes look at me and like hit onme which I get you know it's
just like a self esteem thing Idon't do that self esteem thing
oh but I love it and then I liketo be mean to them I'm like
sweatpants Chinese food greaseon the sweatshirt wear it five
(15:09):
days in a row that's the classiclike breakup yeah Ally does
embody a lot of the like classicbreakup girl like just bursting
out in tears randomly Mine, nowthat we've discussed you two,
mine is somewhere else.
I think you're kind of arebounder.
I'm a hard rebounder.
(15:31):
The minute you walk out of mylife, I am on it.
Wait, can you talk about whenyou and Old Balls broke up?
Baby girl,
SPEAKER_01 (15:41):
I have that
SPEAKER_00 (15:42):
list.
This is actually crazy.
This is like a hard reset.
Okay, so yes, listener, Irebound hoard.
I immediately text the last fiveguys I fucked before my
relationship.
I immediately unpause him.
It doesn't matter who it was.
I go fucking ham on my clit.
(16:07):
And there's a little bit of astory behind old balls.
So bear with me, listener.
Old Balls and I did have ahiatus where we broke up for
like a day.
No.
You broke up with Old Balls inyour mind.
You guys never officially brokeup.
(16:27):
Let's get real.
No, no, no.
This is a different story.
This is a different time.
You can't rewrite history.
Excuse me.
This is a different time.
I broke up with Old Balls onetime in my brain.
Yes.
Then I fucked jalapeno dick.
Then I really did break up withOld Balls.
Okay.
Like with your words.
I'm not telepathy.
(16:49):
With words.
Yeah, yeah.
Nora was here for this.
So I call Nora.
She's in her room.
I'm in my room.
That's right, listener.
We're rich.
Our apartment is so big.
We don't share a wall.
Was he in the room while youwere calling?
No, I broke up with him over thephone and I called Nora to come
in and I was like, I just brokeup with old balls.
And she's like, what?
(17:09):
Why?
Things seem to be going well.
We were planning our annual laketrip.
And listener, you've heard aboutthis.
We go to the lake in Georgia.
And he was supposed to come.
However, little did I know hewas drunk during this
conversation and we're textingabout planning our trip.
(17:30):
I forgot that he was a littlebit of an alcoholic.
Yeah, he had a drinking problemfor sure.
He lets me know, hey, I'm reallynot sure if I can make it
anymore.
And I was like, why?
I thought we cleared it with thedaughter.
His daughter, she was stayingwith mom that weekend.
Like, what's going on?
How can you not go anymore?
Yeah.
(17:51):
Blake Tripp landed on hisex-wife's birthday.
Oh,
SPEAKER_01 (17:56):
yeah, I forgot about this.
SPEAKER_00 (17:57):
And he wanted to spend her birthday together with
his ex-wife.
And I was like, I'm confused.
Can you explain?
Which one do you love?
Can you please explain?
I would have respected him if hewas like, It's my daughter's
first time.
(18:17):
It's her first like six monthsin America.
I want to make sure she feelslike supported.
And the three of us, I'm justgoing to take them out to
dinner.
I could maybe, maybe toleratethat.
But he was wasted withouttelling me he's wasted.
And he's like, I don't know.
I just, I miss her.
And I was like, what?
May I interject here?
(18:38):
Please.
It was also your birthday thatsame week.
So yeah, this is where it...
Really, it's fucked up.
Her birthday was...
two days before mine.
So he had the ex-wife and thecurrent girlfriend to choose
from.
And he chose ex-wife.
And he chose ex-wife.
So I was like, you know what?
This is getting really weird.
You're drunk and telling me youwant to spend your ex-wife's
(19:01):
birthday with her.
We're going to break up.
And, like, I did not mean it.
I really liked him then.
I was, like, really into it.
I forgot.
You spent a lot of that weekcrying.
I was so sad.
I was, like, not ready for thebreakup, even though it should
have happened.
It should have been then.
It should have been then but Iwas so not ready so I do my old
(19:21):
thing I look back at the oldrecords and I identify the last
five men I fucked and then Iredownload hinge and I just
start going ham I schedule datesI I hear back from one guy we'll
call him the British guy oh Imiss him he's so cute he and his
friend are starting a podcast Iheard maybe we can collab let's
collab so he responds firsteager beaver and he's and he
(19:46):
also lives like a block awayfrom us back in the day last
time we slept together and he'slike hey I actually moved he
lives now a block away from oldballs stop dating men in his
vicinity I know dude I feel likeI've got like this like magnet
now it's weird it's cause it'sin fucking broke ass Brooklyn
it's actually the nicer part ofBrooklyn thank you very much so
(20:06):
anyways Britton and I are gonnahang out the very next day and
I'm like I'm gonna get it andfuck old balls fuck this guy the
next morning of course I hearback from old balls he's like
I'm so sorry I don't evenremember what we talked about.
I was drunk.
You're 50.
I don't think you should beblacking out at 50.
(20:52):
I say, no, thank you.
Turn right back around and gointo the same bar and meet the
British man five minutes later.
The same bar.
Same bar.
Did you fuck him?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Horde.
whore whore whore that's whatwe're talking about I have to
say there really is somethingabout fucking someone after a
breakup that like heals the soullike it really does it does Ali
(21:13):
you need to get on this trainyou need to it's like I have no
one currently to break up withmaybe the marine I don't know
the one that just ghosted merecently Jesus she's gonna be
married in a week next timearound like it's so healing
after like cause the you know atthe end of a relationship it's
always bad there's like monthsof like this drama and back and
(21:35):
forth and like they're just sodraining on you and like even if
you're having sex it's not likethe same and then you just have
this uncomplicated sex with abetter dick and I'm telling you
it heals you fully like I feel100% after I have sex with one
person.
I can't get wet right after.
(21:57):
Like, I am so emotionallydevastated.
My tears, my wetness from mypussy comes out of my eyes.
Okay, here's your solution.
You grab that man's face.
You push it down to your vagina.
No, no.
And you say spit.
I can't do it.
I'm dead inside.
Have you tried using the tearsas lube?
No.
Now you're on to something.
(22:18):
In a way, I used German mat.
I got a rebound from the dad.
Did you?
You were still seeing the deck.
And you were like emotionalslash physical cheating.
Yeah.
Now that I'm thinking about it,Ally doesn't need to rebound
because she's just cheating.
Like she's just cheating thewhole time.
She has guys constantly textingher, I would treat you better.
I like you.
(22:39):
No, 100% of my life doesn't makeany sense.
Like Friday, Mercury's in fullretrograde.
Like I'm telling you, I had onFriday night like six different
guys texting me that came out ofthe woodworks and I just keep
them all around.
It's always like that.
It's like, dry, dry, dry allweek and then nine of them.
And I'm like, where were you?
When I'm in a full-blownrelationship, I feel as though
(23:00):
it's like the...
Dry, dry, dry.
So dry.
No, and like, I feel like it's atest to see if I really like
them.
It's like that three-monthmarker.
You're like, stop testing me,universe.
Dude, I cannot...
I never notice hot people.
Until you're in a relationship?
Until I'm in a relationship.
(23:21):
I feel the exact same way.
Right.
All of a sudden there are hotass men and women everywhere and
looking at me and giving meattention.
I'm like, what is this?
Is this?
Yeah.
What is this energy that I'mputting out there that the post
is about to get locked down?
Mm hmm.
The fuck?
I think I just want a good lay.
Yeah.
(23:42):
I don't give anyone a good lightthis weekend, except for Tara.
What?
I just wanted to see yourreaction.
You guys hooked up?
I tried.
Oh.
There was an attempt, I think,this weekend.
We went on a throuple date.
It was Allie, Ray, myself, andpiece of shit.
It was very romantic.
And we tried to make it an orgywith his neighbor.
And his sister.
UNKNOWN (24:03):
Ooh.
SPEAKER_00 (24:03):
Yeah, neighbor showed up with his sister, and
it was a real boner killer.
I thought that it was his wife,and I was like, this isn't going
to work.
Why not?
See?
All right.
So when I was thinking about therebound and like why people do
it, so Nora says it cures hersoul.
It heals the soul.
It heals the soul.
Here's a couple of reasons as towhy we do it in a psychological
(24:28):
analysis.
One, it's a coping mechanism.
Sure.
To not feel alone.
Well, that's number two, fear ofloneliness.
I don't think it's a– for me,it's definitely not a fear of
loneliness because I don't wantto date them.
I have yours already listed.
It's like an empty void.
It's feeling an empty void.
I don't think it's a void, Al.
It's like a celebration.
(24:48):
It is.
It's like a fucking like– it'slike a release, a relief and a
release.
It's incredible.
It's kind of like what we talkedabout on reasons why or signs
you hate your boyfriend.
You've already broken up withhim in your head.
Yeah.
(25:17):
Nora's basement boyfriend.
There's so many things wrongwith him, but he's like
definitely terrified of beingalone.
Can't handle it.
He got married.
Speaking of rebounds, he gotengaged like months after we
broke up.
Like six weeks after, yeah.
Literally, he met his now wife,I think, under two weeks after
we broke up.
Yeah.
And he's been in a basement.
And we were living together in abasement.
(25:38):
Self-esteem issues.
Rave daddy.
Yep.
UNKNOWN (25:43):
You got it.
Woo!
SPEAKER_00 (25:44):
Rave Daddy has terrible self-esteem, like poor
guy.
Horrendous.
A lot of guys who date.
I almost feel bad for him, but Idon't.
I don't know about her at all.
A lot of guys who date youngerhave really bad self-esteem.
Like, that's why he, like, bragsabout dating 19-year-olds.
It's like, one, is that a bragor is that disgusting?
(26:04):
I'm like, how do you even dothat?
She can't go out to a bar.
And also, why are you tellingme?
Is this your attempt on gettingback together with me, by the
way?
Has any girl ever?
You know what's funny is, like,this whole, like, trope, like,
this cliche of, like, oh, he'sgoing to marry someone half my
age.
Does anyone actually get madabout that or are you just like,
ew?
Yeah, I don't know.
(26:24):
I don't get mad.
I'm like, oh.
I think the only people that getmad is if there's kids involved
in the relationship because thenthat's like a horrendous
example.
Like whether you have a son or adaughter or both, it's
disgusting.
But yeah, I don't think– atypical woman would get mad
about it.
I don't think you get mad.
And just be like, that's so sad.
You're like, oh no.
It's so gross.
(26:44):
Like, I honestly, I would almostblame myself and be like, what
did I do to him?
Well, I think this is getting alittle sad and less funny.
They're probably the ones thatalso have self-esteem issues to
be like, okay, well, like, if Itry to find someone else, no one
would be interested in mebecause I'm not as young.
Yeah, and then they probablythink they're so great because
they're this older, what theywould assume is established
person, but all he does is bitchabout his ex.
(27:06):
It's sad on both ends.
Like, we have, like, enoughself-esteem to realize that that
is disgusting.
Right.
You know what I mean?
But most people are like, oh, myGod, let me get Botox and shit.
Do you think anyone listening tous thinks we have self-esteem?
No.
Not one.
Not one.
The comments are like, thesebitches hate themselves.
But thinking about old balls, Ithink he was definitely a coping
(27:29):
mechanism.
I truly believe he's justlooking for his next daughter's
stepmom.
Yeah.
Sad.
He's never going to find it.
UNKNOWN (27:36):
No, no.
SPEAKER_00 (27:37):
Maybe before he finds a mom, he should try being
a dad.
I don't think so.
Financially, he was a father.
Barely.
He just got a real job.
Financially, he was alive.
Guys, he was a DJ while he had achild.
(27:57):
We haven't talked about thatenough.
Comparable to rave daddies.
I got a lot of shit for that.
This man's a 50-year-old DJ.
I'm not saying one is better orworse but at least Old Balls was
being paid for his DJing.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I got a free Rumble membership.
Rave Daddy was paid in workoutclasses.
(28:17):
Yeah, why didn't he lose anyweight?
I love the amount of rage thatTara has for him.
Like, she hates on him way morethan I've ever hated on this
man.
You know what?
Fool me once, shame on me,right?
Wait, what is it?
Stop cheating on my friend.
Fool me twice, fuck you.
No, I really, I gave it my allwhen we gave him the second
(28:42):
chance, and he really scornedme.
You know, how fucked up I am.
I was like, what second chance?
All right, so to recap before wewrap.
So Nora's advice is throw aparty.
Get hot every day.
You wipe those little tears awayand you get that mascara on.
(29:04):
Allie, emotionally cheatthroughout your entire
relationship so you have someoneto coddle you post-breakup.
Tara, sleep with anything andeverything that walks past you.
Which one would you do, Rats?
Healthy boundaries.
Yeah, Rats, we want to hear fromyou.
How do you rebound?
Hoard.
Hoard.
(29:24):
And that's a great wrap.
And while I have you all on mic.
What?
Guys, I did something really badlast night.
What?
Is this the episode?
Well, stay tuned to find outwhat Allie did.
No, no.
I'm going to tell you nowbecause I need your reactions
live.
What?
Okay.
Oh, my God.
Who did you fuck?
Who did you fuck?
The married guy.
(29:45):
If you fucked Rave Daddy, I'mgoing to punch you in the face.
Guys, I'm sorry.
Who?
It was Rave Daddy.
Last night?
Last night.
You're shitting with us.
Are you joking?
No.
You're joking.
Why are you saying this on my-It's April Fool's.
April
SPEAKER_01 (30:04):
Fool's.
Good damn it.
SPEAKER_00 (30:06):
Toodle brats.
As always, thanks for listening.
If you're interested in evenmore bad advice, scurry on over
to Instagram and TikTok atbadadviceonlynyc.
We're begging you.
Download and rate the show andleave us a review.
Talk to you next Monday.
Stay tuned, brats.
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