June 5, 2025 • 48 mins
Marriage is a team sport that nobody prepared us for. What happens when two different people try to build a life together? How do you create a truly functional partnership rather than just two people sharing space?
Greg and Jess dig deep into what makes relationships work as teams by examining three crucial elements: shared vision, effective communication, and the delicate balance between trust and leadership. They reveal how establishing family values created their roadmap for raising "likable, contributing members of society" and how contentment with both plenty and little stems from mutual agreement about what truly matters.
The conversation takes a fascinating turn when they explore their dramatically different communication styles. Greg's "let's try it and see what happens" approach crashes headlong into Jess's need for careful planning. Their candid stories about navigating these differences offer valuable insights for any couple struggling with similar tensions. "Your brain works way different and way faster than mine," Jess admits, highlighting how understanding these differences transformed their communication.
Perhaps most compelling is their exploration of leadership in marriage. They challenge the notion that one person must lead everything, instead advocating for recognizing individual strengths. "In every relationship, someone is leading," Greg explains, "but that doesn't mean creating a dictatorship." Their perspective on how trust and leadership function together provides a refreshing framework for couples tired of power struggles.
The episode wraps with practical application points, encouraging listeners to identify their "why" behind major life decisions and commit to being lifelong learners together. Whether you're newly married, considering marriage, or decades into partnership, you'll find actionable wisdom to strengthen your team.
Share your thoughts with us! What book has impacted your relationship journey? We'd love to hear what's helped you become a better teammate in your relationship.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm Greg.
I hope you guys are ready tounpack and get into some good
conversations today.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast Baggage
Claim.
Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Welcome to Baggage Claim.
Everybody so glad you guys arehere tonight or this morning or
afternoon or midday, wherever itis that you're listening to us.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
Thank you so much for thedownloads.
We hit a milestone this week.
We did, and we were so excited.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
It was a goal that you had set in your head.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Yeah, this is one of those weird stupid things you
set in your head.
For you guys who are new here,baggage Claim is a place where
we talk about marriage andrelationships and we talk about
it and hoping to create somecommunity and some conversations
just around relationships andmarriage, coming out of marriage
, going into marriage, in themiddle of marriage, wherever you
(00:59):
may be.
In that we want to help createconversations around that
community and just kind of justhave some open conversations
about it.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
uh, sometimes those are fun, sometimes those are sad
, sometimes they're hard,sometimes they're easy, and we
share what has worked for us andwe share what has not worked
for us yeah, our, our podcastthat just came out last week is
we have no idea what we're doing, so if you think, but it's okay
yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
So if you think we've got it all together, listen to
last week's episode 14, andyou'll realize we're working it
out as we go.
So thank you guys for joiningus tonight and thank you for
being a part.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
And I want to make sure and say thank you again.
We have in the past said thankyou to Brother Jack Woodworking
who did this beautiful design onour table, which is a good
buddy of mine, Wes Price, and Ihave not seen him in a while and
I really, really miss him.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Yeah, Wes does phenomenal work.
If you're looking forwoodworking and you're in the
Georgia area, even if you're inthe South Carolina, North
Carolina area, this dude doesphenomenal table work.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Absolutely Beautiful custom designs.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Yeah, he'll do just one-offs for you or he'll do
something that he's done in thepast.
So if you don't know, if youhaven't checked him out, it's
Brother Jack Woodworking WesPrice, go check him out.
Awesome dude does great work.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
He did this beautiful table that we're sitting at
Great family, Just an all-aroundgreat guy.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
You can't go wrong with Wes, so make sure to check
him out.
But anyway jumping in.
So Jess is wrapping up school,so she's super excited about
that and so, like we said, Ithink before we got started on
podcast we were going live justdoing our question, our fun kind
of year of us.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
We talked about I got up and went to work with you
this morning.
You did and thank you for that.
You devoted the day to me atwork today so that, and the
school that I work in we canleave this like school issued
furniture in the classroombecause they move it out to wax
(03:00):
and clean the flooring and thatkind of thing.
But we have to take out ourpersonal furniture Like you've
built several bookshelves for myclassroom and then, like things
that we purchased in therefurniture-wise, we move it into
the gym so it doesn't getdamaged.
So that you help me do all thatand the millions of books that
(03:20):
I have.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
You have a lot of books.
I do.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Yeah, I do.
But you were doing that with metoday and I high-fived you at
one point.
I was like, hey, teamwork makesthe dream work.
And I was like that's what weneed to talk about today.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
So you think we may talk about this stuff like weeks
in advance.
Sometimes we do, we dosometimes, sometimes we don't.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Also, it was today when this whole idea came.
We do have like a page, like abrainstorming page we might
refer back to, and we have gosh.
A lot of content A lot ofthings written down, like all
the way back to that firstweekend that our podcast journey
started, that we talked about acouple weeks ago With our
(04:06):
friends Scott and Jen.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Yes, kind of like helped us kick that off.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
But yeah, today I was just thinking I'm grateful that
we're such a good team.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
And so we got into the discussion right away.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
We did.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Because you know who likes just you know, getting
your room ready.
Why not, let's have an in-depthconversation about what is
teamwork and how does it work?
Speaker 2 (04:28):
in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
And what does that really mean?
Yeah, and is that applicablefor somebody else, or does that
work for somebody else?
Speaker 2 (04:35):
And what do we do well, what do we not do well?
So then, naturally, you wentback to your consulting business
world.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
I did.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
And immediately you Googled what makes a how did you
Google it?
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I don't remember what you put in there.
I was like, well, there's adifference.
So I said top fivecharacteristics of high
performing teams and top fivecharacteristics of highly
functioning teams.
And so it's really interesting,because there is a difference
and if I'm not careful I'll godown that wormhole, so I'll tap
the brakes here, but there weresome things that were very
(05:11):
varied because we wanted to inthe same process.
Before I go down there and findthose things, let's talk about
what we think makes us a goodteam.
Let me go dig around in thatand let's see if there's any
commonality between the two andsee if we can actually find some
crossover, see what that means.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
And we did.
There's a little list that wecame up with.
You want me to share the listquickly, you?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
can, if you want.
You don't have to.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Or just dive into the ones that we think are.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
I say Liz is jumping to ours.
Okay, so we took Well.
Some of them were stupid.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Some of them were stupid.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
And some of them were just like okay, yeah, that's.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Like the.
We just went on about the wordgovernance.
Yeah, I found the wordgovernance and I was like who
uses that word?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Literally no one.
If I'm with you and we'rehanging out and you use the word
governance, I'm probably goingto get up and walk away.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Okay, well, pause, that I don't even.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
First off, I don't even know how to say.
I don't feel like I'm saying itwrong when I say it.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
No, but today, when we ran an errand after working
together.
Today you used.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Well, you may.
I don't know if you're makingfun of me or what.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
I wasn't, I was literally fascinated.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
I was like if you triangulate these three Walmarts
as the crow flies, they'reprobably one and a half miles
apart.
And you looked at me and you'relike what I don't know?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
First I was listening intently because I was like
you're exactly right.
There's like 100 Walmarts itfeels like right here and we
were talking about how the oneclosest to our house has taken
up most of the parking lot withtheir stuff where they're
remodeling.
Blah, blah, blah.
Just a conversation.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
It's Walmart.
I don't understand that.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
An exciting married people conversation about
Walmart.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Walmart and the pickup.
Why do you need 15?
Why do you?
You don't 15.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
You literally don't.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
And they're all within a mile of each other.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
If Kroger can survive with six.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Walmart.
Why do you think you're sospecial that you need 15?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
I'm sorry, walmart, you're so great I don't know
about that, but anyway, we shopthere often, greg and I were
talking about the proximity, ofhow close Walmarts are in our
area, and he said, if youtriangulate the ones, that are
the three that we were talkingabout.
Yes, and then you said, because, as a crow flies, the specific
(07:18):
one we were at compared to oneof the closer ones.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
And I pulled it up on a map Google Maps too, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
And I was just listening and I was it up on a
map Google Maps too, yeah.
And I was just listening and Iwas like, can I just say the
word triangulate?
I might have used that in mylifetime maybe two times, and
that's because of schoolsituation.
(07:43):
We triangulate data for thisone specific thing.
I don't do it.
The admin and the importantpeople do it, and then they give
me a list of my children thatqualify and then I do the things
I have to do.
Also, the phrase as the crowflies.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
It's a very Southern phrase.
Never have I ever used thatphrase.
I think it's a very Southernphrase.
I used it just last week.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Did you no?
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Producer Michael said he used it just last week.
Did you Producer?
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Michael said he used it just last week.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
As the crow flies, meaning aerial straight lines,
not roads.
Not, it just means a straightline from one point to another.
It's a very southern term, Ithink.
I think so.
I've heard that.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I mean Growing up in Georgia, anyway.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Well, anyways Her statement that was so funny to
me and I just kind of laughedand got out of the Jeep.
She goes.
Your language sometimes is justfun and creative, creative,
yeah, and I was like okay, I'mnot sure how to respond to that.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
so I'm going to go with.
Okay, and it was not a jab.
It was like your brain works sodifferently than my brain does
than I think.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
It's just I don't know.
That was way a rabbit, I'msorry.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
So back to teamwork, back to where we're going, yeah,
so you said a really fun thingof there are some spouses or
partners that might would havesaid today when I needed your
help because I knew it wouldspeed up the process for myself.
And also there's somethingthere's some of those shelves I
can't lift by myself.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Well, you're thinking like, honestly, this is how the
because you brought it up andyou said you're thinking about
and this is how my brain works.
We're in this conversation andyou're like thank you so much
for doing this.
I couldn't lift these shelvesand in my mind, I'm moving in
and I'm thinking okay, how muchmoney did I give up to be here
today?
Not in a mean way, no, but Iwas like what projects, side
(09:32):
projects could I have done that?
I could have made extra moneyto be here, but I booked a day
where I wasn't doing anything soI could go help you.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
And I was like you literally traded time to help me
for money.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Right, and that's what I always kind of look at.
It's like I'm trading time formoney.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Because you could have told me I can't, because I
need to.
So and so and so and so.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
And probably I mean it's not like, yeah, so make
sure money is always nice, butat the same time, for me I
weighed out in my head and I waslike, okay, I can go help Jess,
which would be a huge help forher Right, which wound up having
great conversations with twoother of your coworkers.
Yeah, that I actually loved andgot to hang out with some other
people.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
And then we helped out another coworker, my next
door classroom neighbor, who wasout of state until tomorrow,
and we moved her furniture forher.
She didn't even ask us to.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Yeah, so it actually turned out to be great.
But that's where your mind wasat.
It was like, oh my gosh thankyou.
I was just like thank you forcarrying this, literally
carrying this load with me, andso far as a guy, I'm thinking
would I give up to be here, andnot in a bad way, but also too,
it's just the way my mind works,yeah, and so I didn't say that
to you until was like, yeah, wedo, and here's what it cost us
(10:46):
to be here.
So just so, we know, I know,but you would have never said
that, had I not.
No, I would not.
No, I would not have, no,because it's just a.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
it doesn't matter, but out of the list of things
that we saw of highlyfunctioning or highly productive
teams, one of the big thingswas like a shared goal or shared
vision.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Well, for us as our and I know if you've listened to
us any amount of time.
If you haven't, this is yourfirst one Thank you so much.
Yeah, welcome.
We've talked about creating afamily culture.
We have family values.
We walked through how we didthat.
We walked through what wewanted, and those family values
was our vision for what wewanted for our family, what we
had in mind, and so for us, itwas huge to think of as a team
(11:31):
man if we're not hitting for thesame thing.
If we're not shooting for thesame goal, how do you get there
and not fight the entire?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
way, how do you expect to even make it?
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Yeah, it's going to be kind of frustrating if you're
thinking you want somethingelse, I'm thinking I want
something else and we nevershare that with anyone and we
don't ever make that vocal.
Yeah, how in the world are weever going to know?
So it's like the shared visionand values kind of goals thing
was like— it kind of helpeddrive our purpose as a couple
and then as a family too, yes.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Yeah, like I mean just one of the basic things.
Like we've had a mutual goal ofraising children, even before
we met each other, like wewanted.
This is a phrase we use.
We wanted to raise likable,contributing members of society.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Yes, I've told, I've literally told every single one
of our kids that statement totheir face yeah, this is my goal
for you.
I love you and I care about you, but this is what I want you to
.
This is my goal.
Is it lacking?
Is it beautiful?
Is it romantic?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
No, it's not.
It's very basic, because thenthey get to choose what they do
with it.
But just the basic like be alikable person because you're
going to be in the world.
And not only are you going tobe in the world, but like you're
you when you enter the adultingworld.
You are a reflection of how weraised you, whether you like it
(12:57):
or not.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Yeah, parents, let me let you in on a little secret.
Your kids are just like you thegood parts the the bad parts,
whether you like it or not.
Look at them and still look inthe mirror.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
yeah, sometimes, especially when they're young
adults yeah, when they're youngadults and you're watching them
learn how to do life, it is likea neon sign yeah the pieces and
parts of you that transfer tothem of what they pick up on.
So that's why I was I'm stillreally still really thankful
that that's a goal that we hadand still have.
(13:30):
I mean, we're still trying tohelp as much as we can navigate
the adult children, yeah we haveno idea what we're doing with
that?
We don't know, literally.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Trying to figure that out.
That's an episode from maybe200.
When we get there.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Who knows?
Speaker 1 (13:43):
So allow me a moment to jump on a soapbox, okay, from
maybe 200 when we get there,who knows?
Allow me a moment to jump on asoapbox.
Okay, because you and I bothcame in.
You can probably speak to thistoo, coming from a divorced
family.
Now I'm a single dad with twokids.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
You were, you're not currently.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Yeah, I was yes, at some point I've saw, I've seen
this, so I've seen this so manytimes.
Uh, and I actually, if you'renot careful, you can be a part
of it.
We have so many single parentswho parent out of guilt.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Um, because their kids went through a really
traumatic, horrible situation,whatever that may be, and so, as
a parent, you want to try tohelp your kid through that.
Well, you sometimes just loseall boundaries and you become
like you want to be the.
You want to be loved, you wantto be um.
A lot of times.
Sometimes we parent not out ofjust out of guilt, but out of,
(14:39):
like, the bad parts of who weare, like I don't want my kids
to love me, I just want them tobe Right, I want them to be so.
I'm going to give them whateverthey want.
I'm going to do these things.
I'm not going to correct them,if I can give you any.
If you're a single parent,you're out there and you're like
bro, I'm trying to figure thisout and this is tough, just like
(15:00):
you're raising your kids.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
You need boundaries for your own self too, correct?
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Yeah, Because it's almost like the kids rule the
rules to everything goeswhatever the kids want, the kids
get and I get, I totally get it, I 100% get it.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
We do, because when we got married and blended our
families, I could have parentedout of the oh well Thomas and
Aaron Grace.
Their dad died, so I need tomake sure, make them feel like
they're the most importantpeople in the world.
You could have parented out ofCallie and Cody.
You know they have divorcedparents.
I need to make them feel likethey are the most important
people in the world, but and butcollectively to you and I.
(15:40):
The four, you, you people tendto go overboard when you just
don't need to.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Right, yeah, because have some boundaries.
Yes, give it some thought.
If you're out there, give it alittle bit of thought.
Yeah, as far as your goals andas far as your vision of what
you want your kids to be givingyou.
I always say this sometimes andmy kid I heard Thomas make this
statement the other day and itjust made me smile because I
always tell the kids, justbecause you can doesn't mean you
(16:16):
should, oh yeah.
And I always used to tell mykids just because you have the
money to buy it doesn't mean youshould buy it.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Right.
Just because you can go, dothat doesn't mean you should do
that, and he did use that phrasethe other day.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Yeah, and it's just one of those things, too, that
we try to instill into them islike there's boundaries for
everything and so with yourgoals and your life, even with
your kids, for us we had thatshared goal with our kids to be
like, hey, I love you guys, butwhat I'm trying to raise you to
be responsible adults,contributing responsible adults,
so you can go out and be a partof society and contribute, and
(16:48):
I know you're going to leavehere.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Yeah, but the key word in what you just said is a
shared goals and vision.
Yes, Because had you been theonly one that had the shared
goals and vision to raise themto be likable contributing
members of society to leave ournest, Meanwhile I would have
been just kind of marinating inmy role as mom and just been
(17:14):
okay with being there, not eventhinking about them leaving.
I wouldn't have been thinkingabout you and I as a couple.
So that was a really big sharedgoal and vision that we had as
a couple, because we kept in theforefront of our mind that
these guys are going to leave us.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Yeah, I said that once.
I said it a million times.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Yeah, and I know that we've talked about that in a
different episode.
I don't want to harp on thistoo much, but we had that shared
goal and that shared visionwhile we were raising kids
together.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Yeah, we even had the shared goal and vision of
financially or materialistically, where we wanted to be in life.
We weren't chasing having thenewest car, the biggest house.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
No.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Those things.
They never, really none of thatstuff really mattered a whole
lot to us.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
No, we've always, in the 13 years we've been together
in three homes and however manyvehicles or vacations or
whatever, we've always beencontent with our standard of
living.
I mean, there are people thatyou know, you see on social
media, and that is a biggestkiller of a shared vision, I
(18:25):
think, because you can see, oh,so-and-so, she just upgraded her
ring or so-and-so, they justwent to wherever on a vacation
or they just got a new house orwhatever the case may be.
If you're not content and youdon't share that vision and goal
for yourselves as a family or acouple, that can get really
(18:47):
cloudy.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Really fast.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
And I think the problem with that is is that
you're judging your life andyour life goals and your life
vision with your family off ofthe highlights of somebody
else's highlight reel.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Right.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
So it's almost like yeah, but what's real life,
right?
What does it really look likeand, in the grand scheme of
things, what does that reallymean?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Yeah, we've been content with plenty and we've
been content with little.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Yeah, and we shared that last week about sometimes
we had little Right, littlelittle.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
But how did we get there though?
Speaker 1 (19:20):
How did we get where?
Speaker 2 (19:21):
To be okay with that.
The contentment part how did weget there?
Speaker 1 (19:28):
That's a good question.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
I know, and how have we remained there?
Not only did we get there, butwe've remained there.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I think for me it wasn't like I've never really
been attached to stuff.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
No, you haven't.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
It's just not my.
It's not a huge draw for me.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
I had a phase where I wanted new cars.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Yeah, you went.
You've had way more new carsthan I have I have and I don't
really care much about a car.
It's like I don't care as longas it gets me some, but even my
quote-unquote new car was notlike luxurious no, no, no,
they've always been veryreasonable practical yeah and to
the point.
So it's been a um you know to.
To that we've said, okay, we,okay, we can do those things,
(20:13):
but also, too, it's we could.
I don't I care.
Here's the thing for me.
I love adventure, yeah, and Ilove.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Experiences.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Yeah, I love the experience.
For me, the experience and thepeople I'm with is more valuable
than any nice car, nice thingyou can buy me, like you right
now, if you, if you, if you mademe happy and you said, hey, I
got you and a few friends, I'velined up a trip for you guys to
(20:45):
go climb Kilimanjaro in Africafor this for this time I would
do.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
I would lose my you would lose your mind.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Yeah, that that would excite me.
So like that makes me excitedto go have an experience with
some of my friends climb thishighest mountain in Africa.
It's just cool.
But I also love just trying newthings, like I want to try new
things For the adventure.
It doesn't have to be the mostelaborate thing, and I think for
(21:15):
us we've just kind of sharedthat through our lives.
I think we just when we met, wekind of shared that idea for
life.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
What actually means something Right, and it may be
because of what our lifeexperience is.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
And if you're on the opposite end, you're like, bro,
I love my stuff, that's okay too, love your stuff.
If, on the opposite end, you'relike, bro, I love my stuff,
that's okay too, love your stuff.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
If that's where you get it, then love your stuff.
And some of my friends might bemy personal friends.
Well, you carry a name brandpurse.
Well, I mean I do, but also Isell other ones and I save up
for it.
I mean there are things that,if you know me personally, there
are things that I do like thatare stuff I don't want to say
like we're living in a tent.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
We don't we have a nice place.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
We do.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
And so that's not even what we're talking about.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
No, we're not poor mouthing.
We're just talking about whatactually holds value For us, for
us.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
And so for you as a couple, you just need to figure
out that.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
That balance, that value the goals yeah, what's?
Speaker 1 (22:19):
your purpose.
What's your vision for yourfamily?
Okay, that's going to make theteamwork.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
So we spent longer on that one than we meant to.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yeah, we did All right Second off.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
The second thing about teamwork makes the dream
work is communication.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
How many times are you going to make that's such a
90s phrase?
It's so, but I can't help it.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
I can't help it, because it's real Communication.
Duh, We've done a whole.
We've done a whole.
Several podcasts on that yeahof communication.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
If you're new here, go search back through.
Look at communication.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
find some of those.
Be okay with learning yourcommunication style.
We've talked about this too inthe past too, that like I had to
learn which I didn't realize ituntil I married a man that's
really good at communicatingthat I sucked at it and I had to
learn and be okay with that,but then I also had to learn to
move forward.
So you have to be okay withlearning about your
communication style and be okaywith it.
(23:14):
You still sometimes strugglewith that.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
my thinking is different, like my process of
thinking, not your thinking,it's your process.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Process of thinking is slower than yours.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
It's kind of like don't take this the wrong way,
oh no.
So it's kind of like if you'vegot a macbook and you bought one
of the very first macbooksthat's out there and you bought
the newest version of it, andit's like snappy, quick, fast,
and you're sitting there waitingand you see the little rainbow
circle pops up and it's justgoing.
Sometimes, when I'm havingconversations with jess, the
(23:50):
rainbow circle pops up and I'mjust like looking at her.
I'm not Like how long are wegoing to do this?
I'm not Not in a mean, I just Iget it that it's frustrating
for you, I'm not mentally slow,no, no, no, not at all.
That's not what I mean.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
But it just.
I need time to process and,yeah, your brain works way
different and way faster thanmine, but we talked about this
today.
We did.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
And this is the way we, this is how we see, this is
how we process information Right.
It's very, very different andif you're a couple out there and
you do this, please talk aboutit with your spouse, please.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Because it's incredibly helpful.
And it can be incrediblyfrustrating if you don't
actually talk through it.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Because, Jess, when we were starting the podcast,
she wanted to make sureeverything was laid out,
everything was done.
I was like, nope, let's getsome microphones, let's record
one, and then afterwards let'sgo holy crap, what did we do
wrong?
Let's fix that.
Let's don't do that again.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Let's move forward and we tried that with the first
episode and to you you're like,oh, that was awesome.
And to me I was like that was atrain wreck because I had no
idea where we were going.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
And so what we do is the way I like to do things is
let's do that, let's figure outwhat didn't work, let's make
those changes, let's keep movingforward.
As long as we're moving forward, as long as we're trying to,
we're growing and this is forour relationship too let's try
something.
If that didn't work, okay,let's don't do that, let's do
(25:16):
this and make changes as we go.
You like to have everythinglaid out, and so that's where we
butt heads.
Yes, when it comes to that.
So, if you're, that's where wehave those tension points for us
, because I'm like no, no, no,let's just try it and see.
And you're like I don't want to.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
I don't want to because I don't know.
Yes, because I don't knowwhat's going to happen.
I want to work it out before wetry it.
I want to have.
Well, if you're watching us onYouTube, you'll see there's a
notebook in front of me which Ifigured out after the first
(25:53):
episode.
If I could have a loose outlineof kind of where we're going
and the notes probably wouldn'tmake sense to anybody else, but
they make perfect sense to meyou don't need them, but I do
because that's the way I think Ineed to know where I'm going.
And you're like oh, I'll fly bythe seat of my pants and it's
going to be awesome.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
And sometimes it is and sometimes it's not.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Right.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
But I don't want to take that I enjoy that I enjoy
the um the risk of.
We just had this conversation.
We're my mom's for memorial day, we're cooking out, doing a
home memorial day thing.
Yes, and we were talking abouta situation, a fun situation.
She goes.
Well, that sounds verydangerous, sounds like you get
hurt.
I was like, yeah, that's whatmakes it exciting and like
that's what makes it fun for youand I was like no, that what.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
That's what makes it terrifying and I would never try
it for me.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
I'm like, if there's no risk of getting hurt, I don't
really want to do that.
What fun is that when?
Speaker 2 (26:42):
you were going to work with me.
This morning we were hearing onthe radio the man was talking
about the tent camping you cando when you're hanging off the
side of a mountain in a tent.
And I was like absolutely not.
And you were like that's socool.
I'm like, wow, we could not bemore different.
But, you got to be okay withfeedback because, like I, have
(27:03):
to be okay with you telling methat's actually called bivvying.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
When you bivvy on the side of a mountain, that's what
it is.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Again your vocabulary .
Like I said, triangulate and asa crow flies.
You knew that word and I neverheard it in my life.
So anyway, smarty pants.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
That's nice.
I lived in that world for awhile.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
When you're communicating, though, you've
got to be okay that you thinkdifferently.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Right, you process different.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Yeah, and you've got it.
I don't know that with yourconsultant mind, when I'm saying
think different, and you'relike no process different, Like
those don't mean differentthings to me, but they do to you
.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
So let's say you have to be okay that your thinking
process Does that work.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Yeah, that works, I can get behind that.
Okay, I can get behind that.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Okay, and you have to be okay with feedback on that.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Right, bad feedback and good feedback.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Right, but then that brings you together to kind of
collaborate on things, andteamwork makes dream work.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
I get to say it again oh my gosh, stop, Please stop
saying that yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
I'll try to make that be the last time.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
So you had a suggestion, though for some of
our friends that listen about,with some communication.
I'm pointing at it on my pieceof paper.
I see you pointing at it Once aweek in-depth conversation, oh
yeah, yeah yeah, we were talkingabout conversation where, like,
(28:33):
what's the—I always want toknow?
Speaker 1 (28:34):
like and this may be just the way my mind works,
because I'm like what's thestandard?
Like when we started a podcast,I was like, I mean, what does a
podcast really do?
Like how I don't know if we'reokay or we're doing all right,
or should we just sell all thisstuff and quit?
Should we not?
Should we sell, like, should wekeep going?
And so I'm looking at likewhat's the standard for that?
You may be thinking in yourmind.
You're like communication.
I talk to her every day.
I say hello in the morning.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
I say goodnight at night.
Is that not enough?
No, it's not, I'll tell you.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
So it's almost like what's the standard and there's
no set standard for how thatlooks.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
What it works for everybody.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Yeah because it's different.
Even, it's different for Jessand I, like Jess is at school,
she's a school teacher, I doreal estate and I do handyman
fixture kind of stuff around,and so I don't get to spend a
ton of time with people, right?
And so when Jess comes home Iwant to use all my words, and
she's used all her words already.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
My word bank is depleted by the time I get home.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
And so sometimes that's a struggle for us and
that saying you should besitting down with your
significant other in thisrelationship, whether you're
newly married, married for 25years.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Or you're just dating and trying to figure it out,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
You ought to be having at least one kind of like
sit down in depth, deepconversation once a week, not
every day, not every other day.
If you're doing once a week,you're doing great, you're ahead
of the curve.
Just making sure.
Those are the things like hey,are we okay, are we good?
Tell me about your week.
Tell me what was a good thing,tell me what was a good thing,
(30:09):
tell me what was a bad thing.
Tell me what could I do better,like ask the questions in the
sense of not like you suck youthis, you need to do this better
, you need to do that.
I'm like because when you gointo a conversation thinking I'm
asking how do?
I?
How am I better?
How can I be a better husband?
Yeah, how can I communicatebetter?
How can I?
Because I'm, if you're, ifyou're out there in your human,
(30:32):
you're going to screw it uptrust me, because we all screw
it up yeah, uh, it's just partof who we are.
so ask those questions in thesense of, and have those at
least once a week.
At least once a week, whateverthat may look like, um, however
that may work.
Um, ours have changed over theyears, yeah, and they've changed
.
Your communication style willchange, your personality will
(30:56):
change, how you do, life willchange.
We've been married.
This is 13 years.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Coming up on 13.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Coming on 13 years so everything changes, so be okay
with that.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
But then that reverts back to the shared goals and
vision to grow together.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
And that's hard to do at different phases.
It is hard to do so.
The third area we kind of wentback and forth between two so we
decided to put them together.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
So I don't know that.
We decided to put them together.
We're going to you.
Just wrote them on the booktogether.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
I wrote it down on my outline, because this is one of
those tension points wherewe're butting heads.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
She said the third biggest thing that makes great
teamwork and makes good teams istrust.
I said, the thing that makesgood teams work is leadership.
Yes, and you said no, we, you,and so it was like which comes
first.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
We went back and forth because it was like I have
to trust you that you're goingto lead our family in the right
direction, and you said well, ifyou don't watch me lead, how
are you going to trust me?
It was kind of a both and yousaid well, it's kind of like a
chicken or the egg conversation.
And then producer Michael saidit's kind of like if you look at
(32:07):
a house, what's more important,the roof or the walls?
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Right.
So you can't have one withoutthe other.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
Like you, can't have chicken without egg.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
You can have walls with no roof, but you're going
to get wet, so you can't have aroof with no walls.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Right.
So that's why we were like,okay, well, let's just put them
together Trust and leadership.
Well, I said, I said that we'regoing to put them together.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
So here's the thing about leadership.
No one likes to talk about this.
In a relationship, there issomeone leading in your
relationship, whether you'vebeen married for five minutes or
five years or 50 yearssomebody's leading that
relationship.
Now, when I say leadership,don't get the bad taste in your
mouth of being like I live undera dictatorship.
(32:50):
That's not what I'm talkingabout.
Dictatorship and leadership aretwo different things, and we
can dig into that one time ifyou'd like to but we're not
tonight.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Well, to refer back again to shared goals and vision
, you should be okay withwhoever is taking the leadership
role of your family if you havea shared vision and goal.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Yeah, because there are certain things that I'm
probably not probably I know I'mgood at.
There's certain things you'rereally good at.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Right.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
And so you lead in certain parts of our
relationship, I lead in certainparts of our relationship.
The fact is is that, and thensometimes we lead together yeah,
and sometimes I take more of alead than you do when it comes
to what is our shared vision.
Where are we going?
Speaker 2 (33:32):
What are we going to do?
That's because I trust youwhile you're having the
leadership role.
That's why I said we.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
That's why you have both, and most likely, though,
like you're not going to, likeI'm not going to go, man Jess is
leading.
I just trust her.
I just trust that she's goingto do what.
Trust is one of those thingsthat takes time.
It takes, experience it takesand there will be lapses of
trust.
There will be, there'll be gaps, there'll be some of those
(34:02):
things where you're like Itrusted you and you screwed this
up and that's going to happen,right, and that's just called
life, that's just called beingin a relationship.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Well, for us, a part of the foundation of our
relationship is because of yourpast experience.
You had to learn that you cantrust me, that I am who I say I
am.
But that was like basic beforewe even did life together.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
So I mean trust comes in different forms.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Yeah.
So I mean it's okay to use theword leadership in your marriage
, in your relationships.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
Now, whether you lean towards like the biblical, you
know the husband is the head ofthe household and you know the
wife should obey, and thosethings which I'm comfortable
with with that role, justbecause that's kind of the world
that we live in, where we whereour marriage kind of lives,
kind of where our marriage livesin a Christian marriage, but
(35:01):
not everybody's there.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
That's true, but it's also one of those things too.
We get caught up on those whole.
I see you as me like we're one,Like if we talk about hey, when
we say I do, we become oneperson, Right.
So when I say something mean toyou, I'm saying that mean thing
to myself.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
It's we go back to if you want to take the biblical
stance of that.
In the Bible it even talksabout you love your wife as you
love yourself.
Yeah, jesus' commandment, likeeven when in his commandment,
where he says, hey, this is oneof the greatest commandments you
love your neighbor as you loveyourself, mm-hmm, and that's a
huge thing, like you've got toknow who you are and love that.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
And embrace those things, the good, the bad, the
ugly.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Mm-hmm Love that.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
Yeah, and embrace those things the good, the bad,
the ugly but also to be open tothe person you're in the
relationship with, to go.
This is who I am, yeah, butalso, too, if you're in that
relationship and it's violentand you're being hurt or you're
being, that's not okay.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
That's not leadership .
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Like call and get help, get out.
Yeah, Don't live in thatrelationship period.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
Because, no matter what belief system you're in,
that's not okay.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
No, there's no reason someone should be violent
toward another person.
Period in that relationship,None Get out, yes.
So trust and leadership are twothings that we feel like are
kind of hand in hand.
Yeah, that move together.
So talk about work through,figure those things out yeah,
and let's get to our unpacksession.
(36:36):
Yeah, About how?
What does this mean?
What does this look like?
Let's unpack it and we may rollthrough these pretty quick so
you guys can.
Yes, but if you got somethingyou want to take notes if you
want to just refer back to this.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
This is kind of the application portion, because
we've got some not challengepoints, but just some thinking
points, right, if you'd like toapply anything that we've said
in this episode.
So back to the first point ofshared goals or shared vision
you were talking about.
What do you want to be, as acouple or as a family?
(37:09):
Yeah, what do you?
Speaker 1 (37:10):
want your like as a couple as a male as a female in
your couple, whatever yourcouple status may look like
wherever you're at.
Yeah, ask yourself as a couplewhat do we want to be Like?
What do we want to look like,do we want to have?
Because here's the thing, likeI had some guys that I talked to
one time and he goes man, I wewant to have.
(37:30):
Because here's the thing, likeI had some guys that I talked to
uh one time and he goes man, Ijust want to go, I just want to
go make six figures, I want togo make $250,000 a year.
And I was like awesome.
Great you can go do that.
Just let me tell you there's acost to that.
There's a cost to everythingLike, and it's going to cost you
some time.
It's going to cost you someenergy, it's going to cost you
time away from people and thingsyou want.
If that's what you want, thengo get it.
(37:52):
My question to you would belike why do you want it?
So why Ask the question why?
Simon Snick said it Sorry, notSnick, but Simon said it best.
When a book we wrote is, yousaid, start With why, which is a
phenomenal book, if you haven'tread it, it's a great book.
It If you haven't, read.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
it's a great book.
It's called Start With why yes?
Speaker 1 (38:10):
The whole title of the book is Start With why.
The whole idea is why are youdoing certain things with your
family?
Yeah, what's the why behindthat?
Yeah, why are you pursuing thejobs you're pursuing?
Why do you want to live in thathouse?
Why do you want to drive thatcar?
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Why do you want to live?
Speaker 1 (38:25):
and have those certain vacations.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Why do you want to say yes to your kids doing 500
things?
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Yeah, what's the why?
Yeah, what's the why behind it?
Speaker 2 (38:32):
And the why changes as you go through life.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
Yes, yeah, it will change, mm-hmm, 100%, it will
change, Just give it time andhow you're going to get to the
why changes too.
Yeah, yeah so have that let'sstart with those questions.
Yeah, that let's start withthose questions.
Yeah, like, what do we want forour family?
Speaker 2 (38:54):
and why do we want that?
And then what are our goals?
To get there and then the nextarea is communication.
When we were talking throughthis, uh, we were talking about
how you will mess up when you'recommunicating oh, a thousand
percent, if you're talkingyou're communicating, you're
listening, you're listening, oryou're going to screw it up a
thousand percent.
But the and part of it is andreflect.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
Like I need to own when I don't communicate
properly and then say, okay, howshould I do that differently
next time?
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Yeah, what did I?
Because there's been timeswhere we've had intense
fellowship and we've looked backat it and communication and go,
okay, why did we do that?
Like, what happened?
What triggered that?
Yeah, what started that?
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Or we've picked out specific phrases or things like
when you said this, what did youmean?
Because what I heard was blah,blah, blah, but the intent
behind it was not that, andthat's happened on both of our
parts.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
A thousand percent.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
A lot of times.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
Communication is being able to listen and reflect
.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
But listen in the fact that sometimes it's not
always great reflection that youmay be like yeah, I screwed
that up.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Yeah, and be patient with the listening and be
patient with the reflecting.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
Yeah, for each other.
Communication is not justtalking, it's also listening.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
Speaking of like learning as you're going through
life, because you learn whileyou're communicating and you're
learning to be patient andyou're learning each other's
communication style.
Yeah, that producer Michaelshared too, that 42 percent of
college graduates do not readanother book after graduating.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
That stat is insane to me.
I'm a learner, I love to learn.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
You are definitely a lifelong learner.
That's the education phrase.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
And that's things that intrigue me.
The other day I watched a thingI kept hearing AI agents, AI
agents.
I was like what is that?
So I dug a deep dive one nightinto two or three nights in a
row, not just one.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Your sleeping patterns are not something that
reverts back when we were onlive earlier of the part of your
routine that I would want toparticipate in.
Your sleeping patterns are notit.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
No, I get intrigued in something and I can't sleep,
and so I just dig, dig, dig, dig, and so I was really curious
what is that?
How does it work?
How do you do that?
How do you create that?
How does it happen?
I just, I'm intrigued bycertain things, and so learning
is a thing for me.
Like I try to read a book allthe time, I'm trying to read as
much as I can.
Mine are not fun fictionalbooks, I love business books.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
Yeah, that's what I was about to say.
I love leadership books.
Your books that you read forpleasure are always learning
books.
Yes it's something that I canwalk away.
That's applicable to my lifeVersus for my own self.
I read a lot at work, and thereare different professional
learning curriculum that we dotogether at work that are
(41:49):
learning books for us becausewe're at work.
So when I get to read forpleasure, it's nonsense.
It could be murder mysteries,it could be like Southern
fiction.
It's just literally nonsense.
And so when we're, our readingpatterns are very different too.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
You talked me into doing that one time.
You're like, just read thisbook and I was like I don't want
to read that book becausethere's nothing that I'm going
to walk away with.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
That's just fun for me.
I promise you you're going tolove it.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
I need something I can go use, and what I've
realized in my life as I'mgetting older, I I don't say
this in an arrogant way I amwell-educated in what I should
do.
I'm lacking in the part to justgo do it.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
For the fun of it.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Yeah, like there's part of me that's just like okay
, I know what to do, Just go doit.
Just go do some of those thingsit varies in different areas of
your life.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
As far as adventure, go, do, go out in the world, go,
do it right.
Adventure seeking.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
you're all in, like I'm in my I'm this is me.
I'm in my 50s, like early 50s,okay, so just give me, give me
some grace.
But I bought a longboardbecause I wanted to learn how to
longboard, because it's likesurfing and it just looks fun.
And it's a looks fun and it's alot of fun.
Longboarding is a lot of funand I just want to do it.
(43:12):
So it's just weird things likethat.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
So communicating and reflecting and learning, like be
a learner, but the reason why Ibrought up the— Like being a T1
thing in communication is belearning.
Which is why I was about to saythe reason why that statistic
that Michael told us about isbecause you got to be okay with
being you.
Well, you need to seek afterbeing a lifelong learner about
(43:36):
your own self and the worldaround you.
Right, because if you're juststuck in who you are, it's okay
to be confident in who you are,but if you're stuck there and
it's not working, you've got tobe okay with being a learner.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Yeah, you've got to change it.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
If you don't change it, nobody's going to.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Side note if you're watching and you want to
participate in this we'retalking about books and reading
maybe send us a DM or commentsomewhere.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
Yeah, just put a comment in one of our many
platforms.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
Yeah, a book that's impacted you as an adult, as a
lifelong learner.
If there's a book that's beenmeaningful for you to learn
about yourself or for you tolearn about how the world around
you and how that works, I mean,I'd love to know about it.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
And I know that you definitely would, because that's
his jam.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Yeah, yeah, if there's a book that you would
like to share with everyone, orjust us, I would love to hear
about that, Because I mean, Iwas talking about my, because
Producer Michael and I weretalking about because summer's
coming up for me, Tomorrow's mylast official working day for a
few weeks, and he was like whatare you going to do?
Do you just do all the things?
(44:47):
I'm like I don't do anything.
Like my favorite thing to do inthe summer is to go to the
public library and check outbooks and on my tablet I have
unlimited reading subscriptionof like I can read as much as I
want to.
I'll read like three or fourbooks a week, sometimes one in a
day, Like I don't want to doanything but just read and just
kind of be.
But anyway, side note, we wantto know what you're reading.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
Yeah, let us know what your favorite book is.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
And then the last category that we talked about
was trust and leadership.
The big deal is that there'snot really one leader in all the
areas of your relationship, orthere shouldn't be.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
Right, I don't think.
I don't think so either.
So, like, take some time, sitdown with your significant other
and just say what do we, whatdo you lead in, what are you
good at leading?
Speaker 2 (45:34):
out.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
What do you think I'm good at leading out and let's
figure it out together over,maybe finances, maybe it's
leading the kids, leading thefamily, maybe it's whatever it
may look like those areas.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
Like for us.
I've always, from day one, I'vebeen scheduling calendar, Like
when the kids were little andthey were doing four different
things at four different times.
I had a calendar, big calendar.
Everybody was color-coded ofwhere we needed to be and who
was doing what where.
And still today, when it's justyou and I and we're scheduling
(46:08):
life with all the things and thekids and now granddaughter,
scheduling is my thing and youtrust me with that 100%.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
I handle the financial part of that, the
vision and where we're goingdirection.
We kind of share that a littlebit, like we constantly talk
about what we want out of life,what we want to be, what we're
after, what are our really goalsfor, like, as we get older?
Speaker 2 (46:35):
in life, a couple and for family, yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:38):
And so that's just one of those things we just
share and talk throughconstantly, because it will
change.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
It will.
So sit down and talk about thattogether, because if you don't
share that goal of where you'regoing, then why are you going
there?
Speaker 1 (46:49):
yeah, it's gonna be rough yeah, just so you know.
So with what's tonight, tonight, uh, or this afternoon.
Just, thank you so much fortaking time to join us as we dig
into.
I mean, you're on a team.
If you're in a relationship,you're in a team, uh, you're in
that with them.
So let's figure out how to bethe best at it where we're at.
How can we do that better?
(47:10):
Yeah, if there's, if you gotsome suggestions or something
you think we missed, shoot it tous, let us know.
We are all ears.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
Because, like we recorded the last, the previous
episode, we don't know whatwe're doing.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
No, we're here to try to create community and
conversations around all thesedifferent things, so please be a
part of it With you.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
Our listener, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:31):
And so if you're on live and you joined us, thank
you so much for joining us live.
We're just trying to figurethat out If there's something
we're going to do and be a partof.
But thank you guys, just so youknow when we end.
I had this ridiculous goal formyself.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
That we would hit and a thousand downloads in a
hundred different cities.
And so we hit that this pastweekend, which is really cool.
Speaker 2 (47:53):
Thank you, everybody.
Speaker 1 (47:55):
Yes, Thanks for all the people everywhere who are
listening.
Please, you know, if you thinkit's good and you like it, share
it.
If not, that's OK too.
So maybe it's not your cup oftea, but that's all right.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Yeah, it's nice to me that that many people in that
many places in the world in ourcountry that actually listen to
us.
So thank you.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Yeah and we really, really appreciate it.
So, man, keep going, keepunpacking, keep digging in and
we'll see you guys next time.
Thank you.
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm Greg.
I hope you guys are ready tounpack and get into some good
conversations today.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast Baggage
Claim.
Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Welcome to Baggage Claim.
Everybody so glad you guys arehere tonight or this morning or
afternoon or midday, wherever itis that you're listening to us.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
Thank you so much for thedownloads.
We hit a milestone this week.
We did, and we were so excited.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
It was a goal that you had set in your head.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Yeah, this is one of those weird stupid things you
set in your head.
For you guys who are new here,baggage Claim is a place where
we talk about marriage andrelationships and we talk about
it and hoping to create somecommunity and some conversations
just around relationships andmarriage, coming out of marriage
, going into marriage, in themiddle of marriage, wherever you
(00:59):
may be.
In that we want to help createconversations around that
community and just kind of justhave some open conversations
about it.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
uh, sometimes those are fun, sometimes those are sad
, sometimes they're hard,sometimes they're easy, and we
share what has worked for us andwe share what has not worked
for us yeah, our, our podcastthat just came out last week is
we have no idea what we're doing, so if you think, but it's okay
yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
So if you think we've got it all together, listen to
last week's episode 14, andyou'll realize we're working it
out as we go.
So thank you guys for joiningus tonight and thank you for
being a part.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
And I want to make sure and say thank you again.
We have in the past said thankyou to Brother Jack Woodworking
who did this beautiful design onour table, which is a good
buddy of mine, Wes Price, and Ihave not seen him in a while and
I really, really miss him.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Yeah, Wes does phenomenal work.
If you're looking forwoodworking and you're in the
Georgia area, even if you're inthe South Carolina, North
Carolina area, this dude doesphenomenal table work.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Absolutely Beautiful custom designs.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Yeah, he'll do just one-offs for you or he'll do
something that he's done in thepast.
So if you don't know, if youhaven't checked him out, it's
Brother Jack Woodworking WesPrice, go check him out.
Awesome dude does great work.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
He did this beautiful table that we're sitting at
Great family, Just an all-aroundgreat guy.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
You can't go wrong with Wes, so make sure to check
him out.
But anyway jumping in.
So Jess is wrapping up school,so she's super excited about
that and so, like we said, Ithink before we got started on
podcast we were going live justdoing our question, our fun kind
of year of us.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
We talked about I got up and went to work with you
this morning.
You did and thank you for that.
You devoted the day to me atwork today so that, and the
school that I work in we canleave this like school issued
furniture in the classroombecause they move it out to wax
(03:00):
and clean the flooring and thatkind of thing.
But we have to take out ourpersonal furniture Like you've
built several bookshelves for myclassroom and then, like things
that we purchased in therefurniture-wise, we move it into
the gym so it doesn't getdamaged.
So that you help me do all thatand the millions of books that
(03:20):
I have.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
You have a lot of books.
I do.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Yeah, I do.
But you were doing that with metoday and I high-fived you at
one point.
I was like, hey, teamwork makesthe dream work.
And I was like that's what weneed to talk about today.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
So you think we may talk about this stuff like weeks
in advance.
Sometimes we do, we dosometimes, sometimes we don't.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Also, it was today when this whole idea came.
We do have like a page, like abrainstorming page we might
refer back to, and we have gosh.
A lot of content A lot ofthings written down, like all
the way back to that firstweekend that our podcast journey
started, that we talked about acouple weeks ago With our
(04:06):
friends Scott and Jen.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Yes, kind of like helped us kick that off.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
But yeah, today I was just thinking I'm grateful that
we're such a good team.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
And so we got into the discussion right away.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
We did.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Because you know who likes just you know, getting
your room ready.
Why not, let's have an in-depthconversation about what is
teamwork and how does it work?
Speaker 2 (04:28):
in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
And what does that really mean?
Yeah, and is that applicablefor somebody else, or does that
work for somebody else?
Speaker 2 (04:35):
And what do we do well, what do we not do well?
So then, naturally, you wentback to your consulting business
world.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
I did.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
And immediately you Googled what makes a how did you
Google it?
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I don't remember what you put in there.
I was like, well, there's adifference.
So I said top fivecharacteristics of high
performing teams and top fivecharacteristics of highly
functioning teams.
And so it's really interesting,because there is a difference
and if I'm not careful I'll godown that wormhole, so I'll tap
the brakes here, but there weresome things that were very
(05:11):
varied because we wanted to inthe same process.
Before I go down there and findthose things, let's talk about
what we think makes us a goodteam.
Let me go dig around in thatand let's see if there's any
commonality between the two andsee if we can actually find some
crossover, see what that means.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
And we did.
There's a little list that wecame up with.
You want me to share the listquickly, you?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
can, if you want.
You don't have to.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Or just dive into the ones that we think are.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
I say Liz is jumping to ours.
Okay, so we took Well.
Some of them were stupid.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Some of them were stupid.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
And some of them were just like okay, yeah, that's.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Like the.
We just went on about the wordgovernance.
Yeah, I found the wordgovernance and I was like who
uses that word?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Literally no one.
If I'm with you and we'rehanging out and you use the word
governance, I'm probably goingto get up and walk away.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Okay, well, pause, that I don't even.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
First off, I don't even know how to say.
I don't feel like I'm saying itwrong when I say it.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
No, but today, when we ran an errand after working
together.
Today you used.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Well, you may.
I don't know if you're makingfun of me or what.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
I wasn't, I was literally fascinated.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
I was like if you triangulate these three Walmarts
as the crow flies, they'reprobably one and a half miles
apart.
And you looked at me and you'relike what I don't know?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
First I was listening intently because I was like
you're exactly right.
There's like 100 Walmarts itfeels like right here and we
were talking about how the oneclosest to our house has taken
up most of the parking lot withtheir stuff where they're
remodeling.
Blah, blah, blah.
Just a conversation.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
It's Walmart.
I don't understand that.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
An exciting married people conversation about
Walmart.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Walmart and the pickup.
Why do you need 15?
Why do you?
You don't 15.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
You literally don't.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
And they're all within a mile of each other.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
If Kroger can survive with six.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Walmart.
Why do you think you're sospecial that you need 15?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
I'm sorry, walmart, you're so great I don't know
about that, but anyway, we shopthere often, greg and I were
talking about the proximity, ofhow close Walmarts are in our
area, and he said, if youtriangulate the ones, that are
the three that we were talkingabout.
Yes, and then you said, because, as a crow flies, the specific
(07:18):
one we were at compared to oneof the closer ones.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
And I pulled it up on a map Google Maps too, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
And I was just listening and I was it up on a
map Google Maps too, yeah.
And I was just listening and Iwas like, can I just say the
word triangulate?
I might have used that in mylifetime maybe two times, and
that's because of schoolsituation.
(07:43):
We triangulate data for thisone specific thing.
I don't do it.
The admin and the importantpeople do it, and then they give
me a list of my children thatqualify and then I do the things
I have to do.
Also, the phrase as the crowflies.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
It's a very Southern phrase.
Never have I ever used thatphrase.
I think it's a very Southernphrase.
I used it just last week.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Did you no?
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Producer Michael said he used it just last week.
Did you Producer?
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Michael said he used it just last week.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
As the crow flies, meaning aerial straight lines,
not roads.
Not, it just means a straightline from one point to another.
It's a very southern term, Ithink.
I think so.
I've heard that.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I mean Growing up in Georgia, anyway.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Well, anyways Her statement that was so funny to
me and I just kind of laughedand got out of the Jeep.
She goes.
Your language sometimes is justfun and creative, creative,
yeah, and I was like okay, I'mnot sure how to respond to that.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
so I'm going to go with.
Okay, and it was not a jab.
It was like your brain works sodifferently than my brain does
than I think.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
It's just I don't know.
That was way a rabbit, I'msorry.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
So back to teamwork, back to where we're going, yeah,
so you said a really fun thingof there are some spouses or
partners that might would havesaid today when I needed your
help because I knew it wouldspeed up the process for myself.
And also there's somethingthere's some of those shelves I
can't lift by myself.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Well, you're thinking like, honestly, this is how the
because you brought it up andyou said you're thinking about
and this is how my brain works.
We're in this conversation andyou're like thank you so much
for doing this.
I couldn't lift these shelvesand in my mind, I'm moving in
and I'm thinking okay, how muchmoney did I give up to be here
today?
Not in a mean way, no, but Iwas like what projects, side
(09:32):
projects could I have done that?
I could have made extra moneyto be here, but I booked a day
where I wasn't doing anything soI could go help you.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
And I was like you literally traded time to help me
for money.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Right, and that's what I always kind of look at.
It's like I'm trading time formoney.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Because you could have told me I can't, because I
need to.
So and so and so and so.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
And probably I mean it's not like, yeah, so make
sure money is always nice, butat the same time, for me I
weighed out in my head and I waslike, okay, I can go help Jess,
which would be a huge help forher Right, which wound up having
great conversations with twoother of your coworkers.
Yeah, that I actually loved andgot to hang out with some other
people.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
And then we helped out another coworker, my next
door classroom neighbor, who wasout of state until tomorrow,
and we moved her furniture forher.
She didn't even ask us to.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Yeah, so it actually turned out to be great.
But that's where your mind wasat.
It was like, oh my gosh thankyou.
I was just like thank you forcarrying this, literally
carrying this load with me, andso far as a guy, I'm thinking
would I give up to be here, andnot in a bad way, but also too,
it's just the way my mind works,yeah, and so I didn't say that
to you until was like, yeah, wedo, and here's what it cost us
(10:46):
to be here.
So just so, we know, I know,but you would have never said
that, had I not.
No, I would not.
No, I would not have, no,because it's just a.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
it doesn't matter, but out of the list of things
that we saw of highlyfunctioning or highly productive
teams, one of the big thingswas like a shared goal or shared
vision.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Well, for us as our and I know if you've listened to
us any amount of time.
If you haven't, this is yourfirst one Thank you so much.
Yeah, welcome.
We've talked about creating afamily culture.
We have family values.
We walked through how we didthat.
We walked through what wewanted, and those family values
was our vision for what wewanted for our family, what we
had in mind, and so for us, itwas huge to think of as a team
(11:31):
man if we're not hitting for thesame thing.
If we're not shooting for thesame goal, how do you get there
and not fight the entire?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
way, how do you expect to even make it?
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Yeah, it's going to be kind of frustrating if you're
thinking you want somethingelse, I'm thinking I want
something else and we nevershare that with anyone and we
don't ever make that vocal.
Yeah, how in the world are weever going to know?
So it's like the shared visionand values kind of goals thing
was like— it kind of helpeddrive our purpose as a couple
and then as a family too, yes.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Yeah, like I mean just one of the basic things.
Like we've had a mutual goal ofraising children, even before
we met each other, like wewanted.
This is a phrase we use.
We wanted to raise likable,contributing members of society.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Yes, I've told, I've literally told every single one
of our kids that statement totheir face yeah, this is my goal
for you.
I love you and I care about you, but this is what I want you to
.
This is my goal.
Is it lacking?
Is it beautiful?
Is it romantic?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
No, it's not.
It's very basic, because thenthey get to choose what they do
with it.
But just the basic like be alikable person because you're
going to be in the world.
And not only are you going tobe in the world, but like you're
you when you enter the adultingworld.
You are a reflection of how weraised you, whether you like it
(12:57):
or not.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Yeah, parents, let me let you in on a little secret.
Your kids are just like you thegood parts the the bad parts,
whether you like it or not.
Look at them and still look inthe mirror.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
yeah, sometimes, especially when they're young
adults yeah, when they're youngadults and you're watching them
learn how to do life, it is likea neon sign yeah the pieces and
parts of you that transfer tothem of what they pick up on.
So that's why I was I'm stillreally still really thankful
that that's a goal that we hadand still have.
(13:30):
I mean, we're still trying tohelp as much as we can navigate
the adult children, yeah we haveno idea what we're doing with
that?
We don't know, literally.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Trying to figure that out.
That's an episode from maybe200.
When we get there.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Who knows?
Speaker 1 (13:43):
So allow me a moment to jump on a soapbox, okay, from
maybe 200 when we get there,who knows?
Allow me a moment to jump on asoapbox.
Okay, because you and I bothcame in.
You can probably speak to thistoo, coming from a divorced
family.
Now I'm a single dad with twokids.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
You were, you're not currently.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Yeah, I was yes, at some point I've saw, I've seen
this, so I've seen this so manytimes.
Uh, and I actually, if you'renot careful, you can be a part
of it.
We have so many single parentswho parent out of guilt.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Um, because their kids went through a really
traumatic, horrible situation,whatever that may be, and so, as
a parent, you want to try tohelp your kid through that.
Well, you sometimes just loseall boundaries and you become
like you want to be the.
You want to be loved, you wantto be um.
A lot of times.
Sometimes we parent not out ofjust out of guilt, but out of,
(14:39):
like, the bad parts of who weare, like I don't want my kids
to love me, I just want them tobe Right, I want them to be so.
I'm going to give them whateverthey want.
I'm going to do these things.
I'm not going to correct them,if I can give you any.
If you're a single parent,you're out there and you're like
bro, I'm trying to figure thisout and this is tough, just like
(15:00):
you're raising your kids.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
You need boundaries for your own self too, correct?
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Yeah, Because it's almost like the kids rule the
rules to everything goeswhatever the kids want, the kids
get and I get, I totally get it, I 100% get it.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
We do, because when we got married and blended our
families, I could have parentedout of the oh well Thomas and
Aaron Grace.
Their dad died, so I need tomake sure, make them feel like
they're the most importantpeople in the world.
You could have parented out ofCallie and Cody.
You know they have divorcedparents.
I need to make them feel likethey are the most important
people in the world, but and butcollectively to you and I.
(15:40):
The four, you, you people tendto go overboard when you just
don't need to.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Right, yeah, because have some boundaries.
Yes, give it some thought.
If you're out there, give it alittle bit of thought.
Yeah, as far as your goals andas far as your vision of what
you want your kids to be givingyou.
I always say this sometimes andmy kid I heard Thomas make this
statement the other day and itjust made me smile because I
always tell the kids, justbecause you can doesn't mean you
(16:16):
should, oh yeah.
And I always used to tell mykids just because you have the
money to buy it doesn't mean youshould buy it.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Right.
Just because you can go, dothat doesn't mean you should do
that, and he did use that phrasethe other day.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Yeah, and it's just one of those things, too, that
we try to instill into them islike there's boundaries for
everything and so with yourgoals and your life, even with
your kids, for us we had thatshared goal with our kids to be
like, hey, I love you guys, butwhat I'm trying to raise you to
be responsible adults,contributing responsible adults,
so you can go out and be a partof society and contribute, and
(16:48):
I know you're going to leavehere.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Yeah, but the key word in what you just said is a
shared goals and vision.
Yes, Because had you been theonly one that had the shared
goals and vision to raise themto be likable contributing
members of society to leave ournest, Meanwhile I would have
been just kind of marinating inmy role as mom and just been
(17:14):
okay with being there, not eventhinking about them leaving.
I wouldn't have been thinkingabout you and I as a couple.
So that was a really big sharedgoal and vision that we had as
a couple, because we kept in theforefront of our mind that
these guys are going to leave us.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Yeah, I said that once.
I said it a million times.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Yeah, and I know that we've talked about that in a
different episode.
I don't want to harp on thistoo much, but we had that shared
goal and that shared visionwhile we were raising kids
together.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Yeah, we even had the shared goal and vision of
financially or materialistically, where we wanted to be in life.
We weren't chasing having thenewest car, the biggest house.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
No.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Those things.
They never, really none of thatstuff really mattered a whole
lot to us.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
No, we've always, in the 13 years we've been together
in three homes and however manyvehicles or vacations or
whatever, we've always beencontent with our standard of
living.
I mean, there are people thatyou know, you see on social
media, and that is a biggestkiller of a shared vision, I
(18:25):
think, because you can see, oh,so-and-so, she just upgraded her
ring or so-and-so, they justwent to wherever on a vacation
or they just got a new house orwhatever the case may be.
If you're not content and youdon't share that vision and goal
for yourselves as a family or acouple, that can get really
(18:47):
cloudy.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Really fast.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
And I think the problem with that is is that
you're judging your life andyour life goals and your life
vision with your family off ofthe highlights of somebody
else's highlight reel.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Right.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
So it's almost like yeah, but what's real life,
right?
What does it really look likeand, in the grand scheme of
things, what does that reallymean?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Yeah, we've been content with plenty and we've
been content with little.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Yeah, and we shared that last week about sometimes
we had little Right, littlelittle.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
But how did we get there though?
Speaker 1 (19:20):
How did we get where?
Speaker 2 (19:21):
To be okay with that.
The contentment part how did weget there?
Speaker 1 (19:28):
That's a good question.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
I know, and how have we remained there?
Not only did we get there, butwe've remained there.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I think for me it wasn't like I've never really
been attached to stuff.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
No, you haven't.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
It's just not my.
It's not a huge draw for me.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
I had a phase where I wanted new cars.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Yeah, you went.
You've had way more new carsthan I have I have and I don't
really care much about a car.
It's like I don't care as longas it gets me some, but even my
quote-unquote new car was notlike luxurious no, no, no,
they've always been veryreasonable practical yeah and to
the point.
So it's been a um you know to.
To that we've said, okay, we,okay, we can do those things,
(20:13):
but also, too, it's we could.
I don't I care.
Here's the thing for me.
I love adventure, yeah, and Ilove.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Experiences.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Yeah, I love the experience.
For me, the experience and thepeople I'm with is more valuable
than any nice car, nice thingyou can buy me, like you right
now, if you, if you, if you mademe happy and you said, hey, I
got you and a few friends, I'velined up a trip for you guys to
(20:45):
go climb Kilimanjaro in Africafor this for this time I would
do.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
I would lose my you would lose your mind.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Yeah, that that would excite me.
So like that makes me excitedto go have an experience with
some of my friends climb thishighest mountain in Africa.
It's just cool.
But I also love just trying newthings, like I want to try new
things For the adventure.
It doesn't have to be the mostelaborate thing, and I think for
(21:15):
us we've just kind of sharedthat through our lives.
I think we just when we met, wekind of shared that idea for
life.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
What actually means something Right, and it may be
because of what our lifeexperience is.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
And if you're on the opposite end, you're like, bro,
I love my stuff, that's okay too, love your stuff.
If, on the opposite end, you'relike, bro, I love my stuff,
that's okay too, love your stuff.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
If that's where you get it, then love your stuff.
And some of my friends might bemy personal friends.
Well, you carry a name brandpurse.
Well, I mean I do, but also Isell other ones and I save up
for it.
I mean there are things that,if you know me personally, there
are things that I do like thatare stuff I don't want to say
like we're living in a tent.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
We don't we have a nice place.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
We do.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
And so that's not even what we're talking about.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
No, we're not poor mouthing.
We're just talking about whatactually holds value For us, for
us.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
And so for you as a couple, you just need to figure
out that.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
That balance, that value the goals yeah, what's?
Speaker 1 (22:19):
your purpose.
What's your vision for yourfamily?
Okay, that's going to make theteamwork.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
So we spent longer on that one than we meant to.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yeah, we did All right Second off.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
The second thing about teamwork makes the dream
work is communication.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
How many times are you going to make that's such a
90s phrase?
It's so, but I can't help it.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
I can't help it, because it's real Communication.
Duh, We've done a whole.
We've done a whole.
Several podcasts on that yeahof communication.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
If you're new here, go search back through.
Look at communication.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
find some of those.
Be okay with learning yourcommunication style.
We've talked about this too inthe past too, that like I had to
learn which I didn't realize ituntil I married a man that's
really good at communicatingthat I sucked at it and I had to
learn and be okay with that,but then I also had to learn to
move forward.
So you have to be okay withlearning about your
communication style and be okaywith it.
(23:14):
You still sometimes strugglewith that.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
my thinking is different, like my process of
thinking, not your thinking,it's your process.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Process of thinking is slower than yours.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
It's kind of like don't take this the wrong way,
oh no.
So it's kind of like if you'vegot a macbook and you bought one
of the very first macbooksthat's out there and you bought
the newest version of it, andit's like snappy, quick, fast,
and you're sitting there waitingand you see the little rainbow
circle pops up and it's justgoing.
Sometimes, when I'm havingconversations with jess, the
(23:50):
rainbow circle pops up and I'mjust like looking at her.
I'm not Like how long are wegoing to do this?
I'm not Not in a mean, I just Iget it that it's frustrating
for you, I'm not mentally slow,no, no, no, not at all.
That's not what I mean.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
But it just.
I need time to process and,yeah, your brain works way
different and way faster thanmine, but we talked about this
today.
We did.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
And this is the way we, this is how we see, this is
how we process information Right.
It's very, very different andif you're a couple out there and
you do this, please talk aboutit with your spouse, please.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Because it's incredibly helpful.
And it can be incrediblyfrustrating if you don't
actually talk through it.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Because, Jess, when we were starting the podcast,
she wanted to make sureeverything was laid out,
everything was done.
I was like, nope, let's getsome microphones, let's record
one, and then afterwards let'sgo holy crap, what did we do
wrong?
Let's fix that.
Let's don't do that again.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Let's move forward and we tried that with the first
episode and to you you're like,oh, that was awesome.
And to me I was like that was atrain wreck because I had no
idea where we were going.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
And so what we do is the way I like to do things is
let's do that, let's figure outwhat didn't work, let's make
those changes, let's keep movingforward.
As long as we're moving forward, as long as we're trying to,
we're growing and this is forour relationship too let's try
something.
If that didn't work, okay,let's don't do that, let's do
(25:16):
this and make changes as we go.
You like to have everythinglaid out, and so that's where we
butt heads.
Yes, when it comes to that.
So, if you're, that's where wehave those tension points for us
, because I'm like no, no, no,let's just try it and see.
And you're like I don't want to.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
I don't want to because I don't know.
Yes, because I don't knowwhat's going to happen.
I want to work it out before wetry it.
I want to have.
Well, if you're watching us onYouTube, you'll see there's a
notebook in front of me which Ifigured out after the first
(25:53):
episode.
If I could have a loose outlineof kind of where we're going
and the notes probably wouldn'tmake sense to anybody else, but
they make perfect sense to meyou don't need them, but I do
because that's the way I think Ineed to know where I'm going.
And you're like oh, I'll fly bythe seat of my pants and it's
going to be awesome.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
And sometimes it is and sometimes it's not.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Right.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
But I don't want to take that I enjoy that I enjoy
the um the risk of.
We just had this conversation.
We're my mom's for memorial day, we're cooking out, doing a
home memorial day thing.
Yes, and we were talking abouta situation, a fun situation.
She goes.
Well, that sounds verydangerous, sounds like you get
hurt.
I was like, yeah, that's whatmakes it exciting and like
that's what makes it fun for youand I was like no, that what.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
That's what makes it terrifying and I would never try
it for me.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
I'm like, if there's no risk of getting hurt, I don't
really want to do that.
What fun is that when?
Speaker 2 (26:42):
you were going to work with me.
This morning we were hearing onthe radio the man was talking
about the tent camping you cando when you're hanging off the
side of a mountain in a tent.
And I was like absolutely not.
And you were like that's socool.
I'm like, wow, we could not bemore different.
But, you got to be okay withfeedback because, like I, have
(27:03):
to be okay with you telling methat's actually called bivvying.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
When you bivvy on the side of a mountain, that's what
it is.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Again your vocabulary .
Like I said, triangulate and asa crow flies.
You knew that word and I neverheard it in my life.
So anyway, smarty pants.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
That's nice.
I lived in that world for awhile.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
When you're communicating, though, you've
got to be okay that you thinkdifferently.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Right, you process different.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Yeah, and you've got it.
I don't know that with yourconsultant mind, when I'm saying
think different, and you'relike no process different, Like
those don't mean differentthings to me, but they do to you
.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
So let's say you have to be okay that your thinking
process Does that work.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Yeah, that works, I can get behind that.
Okay, I can get behind that.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Okay, and you have to be okay with feedback on that.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Right, bad feedback and good feedback.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Right, but then that brings you together to kind of
collaborate on things, andteamwork makes dream work.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
I get to say it again oh my gosh, stop, Please stop
saying that yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
I'll try to make that be the last time.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
So you had a suggestion, though for some of
our friends that listen about,with some communication.
I'm pointing at it on my pieceof paper.
I see you pointing at it Once aweek in-depth conversation, oh
yeah, yeah yeah, we were talkingabout conversation where, like,
(28:33):
what's the—I always want toknow?
Speaker 1 (28:34):
like and this may be just the way my mind works,
because I'm like what's thestandard?
Like when we started a podcast,I was like, I mean, what does a
podcast really do?
Like how I don't know if we'reokay or we're doing all right,
or should we just sell all thisstuff and quit?
Should we not?
Should we sell, like, should wekeep going?
And so I'm looking at likewhat's the standard for that?
You may be thinking in yourmind.
You're like communication.
I talk to her every day.
I say hello in the morning.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
I say goodnight at night.
Is that not enough?
No, it's not, I'll tell you.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
So it's almost like what's the standard and there's
no set standard for how thatlooks.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
What it works for everybody.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Yeah because it's different.
Even, it's different for Jessand I, like Jess is at school,
she's a school teacher, I doreal estate and I do handyman
fixture kind of stuff around,and so I don't get to spend a
ton of time with people, right?
And so when Jess comes home Iwant to use all my words, and
she's used all her words already.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
My word bank is depleted by the time I get home.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
And so sometimes that's a struggle for us and
that saying you should besitting down with your
significant other in thisrelationship, whether you're
newly married, married for 25years.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Or you're just dating and trying to figure it out,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
You ought to be having at least one kind of like
sit down in depth, deepconversation once a week, not
every day, not every other day.
If you're doing once a week,you're doing great, you're ahead
of the curve.
Just making sure.
Those are the things like hey,are we okay, are we good?
Tell me about your week.
Tell me what was a good thing,tell me what was a good thing,
(30:09):
tell me what was a bad thing.
Tell me what could I do better,like ask the questions in the
sense of not like you suck youthis, you need to do this better
, you need to do that.
I'm like because when you gointo a conversation thinking I'm
asking how do?
I?
How am I better?
How can I be a better husband?
Yeah, how can I communicatebetter?
How can I?
Because I'm, if you're, ifyou're out there in your human,
(30:32):
you're going to screw it uptrust me, because we all screw
it up yeah, uh, it's just partof who we are.
so ask those questions in thesense of, and have those at
least once a week.
At least once a week, whateverthat may look like, um, however
that may work.
Um, ours have changed over theyears, yeah, and they've changed
.
Your communication style willchange, your personality will
(30:56):
change, how you do, life willchange.
We've been married.
This is 13 years.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Coming up on 13.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Coming on 13 years so everything changes, so be okay
with that.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
But then that reverts back to the shared goals and
vision to grow together.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
And that's hard to do at different phases.
It is hard to do so.
The third area we kind of wentback and forth between two so we
decided to put them together.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
So I don't know that.
We decided to put them together.
We're going to you.
Just wrote them on the booktogether.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
I wrote it down on my outline, because this is one of
those tension points wherewe're butting heads.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
She said the third biggest thing that makes great
teamwork and makes good teams istrust.
I said, the thing that makesgood teams work is leadership.
Yes, and you said no, we, you,and so it was like which comes
first.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
We went back and forth because it was like I have
to trust you that you're goingto lead our family in the right
direction, and you said well, ifyou don't watch me lead, how
are you going to trust me?
It was kind of a both and yousaid well, it's kind of like a
chicken or the egg conversation.
And then producer Michael saidit's kind of like if you look at
(32:07):
a house, what's more important,the roof or the walls?
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Right.
So you can't have one withoutthe other.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
Like you, can't have chicken without egg.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
You can have walls with no roof, but you're going
to get wet, so you can't have aroof with no walls.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Right.
So that's why we were like,okay, well, let's just put them
together Trust and leadership.
Well, I said, I said that we'regoing to put them together.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
So here's the thing about leadership.
No one likes to talk about this.
In a relationship, there issomeone leading in your
relationship, whether you'vebeen married for five minutes or
five years or 50 yearssomebody's leading that
relationship.
Now, when I say leadership,don't get the bad taste in your
mouth of being like I live undera dictatorship.
(32:50):
That's not what I'm talkingabout.
Dictatorship and leadership aretwo different things, and we
can dig into that one time ifyou'd like to but we're not
tonight.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Well, to refer back again to shared goals and vision
, you should be okay withwhoever is taking the leadership
role of your family if you havea shared vision and goal.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Yeah, because there are certain things that I'm
probably not probably I know I'mgood at.
There's certain things you'rereally good at.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Right.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
And so you lead in certain parts of our
relationship, I lead in certainparts of our relationship.
The fact is is that, and thensometimes we lead together yeah,
and sometimes I take more of alead than you do when it comes
to what is our shared vision.
Where are we going?
Speaker 2 (33:32):
What are we going to do?
That's because I trust youwhile you're having the
leadership role.
That's why I said we.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
That's why you have both, and most likely, though,
like you're not going to, likeI'm not going to go, man Jess is
leading.
I just trust her.
I just trust that she's goingto do what.
Trust is one of those thingsthat takes time.
It takes, experience it takesand there will be lapses of
trust.
There will be, there'll be gaps, there'll be some of those
(34:02):
things where you're like Itrusted you and you screwed this
up and that's going to happen,right, and that's just called
life, that's just called beingin a relationship.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Well, for us, a part of the foundation of our
relationship is because of yourpast experience.
You had to learn that you cantrust me, that I am who I say I
am.
But that was like basic beforewe even did life together.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
So I mean trust comes in different forms.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Yeah.
So I mean it's okay to use theword leadership in your marriage
, in your relationships.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
Now, whether you lean towards like the biblical, you
know the husband is the head ofthe household and you know the
wife should obey, and thosethings which I'm comfortable
with with that role, justbecause that's kind of the world
that we live in, where we whereour marriage kind of lives,
kind of where our marriage livesin a Christian marriage, but
(35:01):
not everybody's there.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
That's true, but it's also one of those things too.
We get caught up on those whole.
I see you as me like we're one,Like if we talk about hey, when
we say I do, we become oneperson, Right.
So when I say something mean toyou, I'm saying that mean thing
to myself.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
It's we go back to if you want to take the biblical
stance of that.
In the Bible it even talksabout you love your wife as you
love yourself.
Yeah, jesus' commandment, likeeven when in his commandment,
where he says, hey, this is oneof the greatest commandments you
love your neighbor as you loveyourself, mm-hmm, and that's a
huge thing, like you've got toknow who you are and love that.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
And embrace those things, the good, the bad, the
ugly.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Mm-hmm Love that.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
Yeah, and embrace those things the good, the bad,
the ugly but also to be open tothe person you're in the
relationship with, to go.
This is who I am, yeah, butalso, too, if you're in that
relationship and it's violentand you're being hurt or you're
being, that's not okay.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
That's not leadership .
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Like call and get help, get out.
Yeah, Don't live in thatrelationship period.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
Because, no matter what belief system you're in,
that's not okay.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
No, there's no reason someone should be violent
toward another person.
Period in that relationship,None Get out, yes.
So trust and leadership are twothings that we feel like are
kind of hand in hand.
Yeah, that move together.
So talk about work through,figure those things out yeah,
and let's get to our unpacksession.
(36:36):
Yeah, About how?
What does this mean?
What does this look like?
Let's unpack it and we may rollthrough these pretty quick so
you guys can.
Yes, but if you got somethingyou want to take notes if you
want to just refer back to this.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
This is kind of the application portion, because
we've got some not challengepoints, but just some thinking
points, right, if you'd like toapply anything that we've said
in this episode.
So back to the first point ofshared goals or shared vision
you were talking about.
What do you want to be, as acouple or as a family?
(37:09):
Yeah, what do you?
Speaker 1 (37:10):
want your like as a couple as a male as a female in
your couple, whatever yourcouple status may look like
wherever you're at.
Yeah, ask yourself as a couplewhat do we want to be Like?
What do we want to look like,do we want to have?
Because here's the thing, likeI had some guys that I talked to
one time and he goes man, I wewant to have.
(37:30):
Because here's the thing, likeI had some guys that I talked to
uh one time and he goes man, Ijust want to go, I just want to
go make six figures, I want togo make $250,000 a year.
And I was like awesome.
Great you can go do that.
Just let me tell you there's acost to that.
There's a cost to everythingLike, and it's going to cost you
some time.
It's going to cost you someenergy, it's going to cost you
time away from people and thingsyou want.
If that's what you want, thengo get it.
(37:52):
My question to you would belike why do you want it?
So why Ask the question why?
Simon Snick said it Sorry, notSnick, but Simon said it best.
When a book we wrote is, yousaid, start With why, which is a
phenomenal book, if you haven'tread it, it's a great book.
It If you haven't, read.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
it's a great book.
It's called Start With why yes?
Speaker 1 (38:10):
The whole title of the book is Start With why.
The whole idea is why are youdoing certain things with your
family?
Yeah, what's the why behindthat?
Yeah, why are you pursuing thejobs you're pursuing?
Why do you want to live in thathouse?
Why do you want to drive thatcar?
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Why do you want to live?
Speaker 1 (38:25):
and have those certain vacations.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Why do you want to say yes to your kids doing 500
things?
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Yeah, what's the why?
Yeah, what's the why behind it?
Speaker 2 (38:32):
And the why changes as you go through life.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
Yes, yeah, it will change, mm-hmm, 100%, it will
change, Just give it time andhow you're going to get to the
why changes too.
Yeah, yeah so have that let'sstart with those questions.
Yeah, that let's start withthose questions.
Yeah, like, what do we want forour family?
Speaker 2 (38:54):
and why do we want that?
And then what are our goals?
To get there and then the nextarea is communication.
When we were talking throughthis, uh, we were talking about
how you will mess up when you'recommunicating oh, a thousand
percent, if you're talkingyou're communicating, you're
listening, you're listening, oryou're going to screw it up a
thousand percent.
But the and part of it is andreflect.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
Like I need to own when I don't communicate
properly and then say, okay, howshould I do that differently
next time?
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Yeah, what did I?
Because there's been timeswhere we've had intense
fellowship and we've looked backat it and communication and go,
okay, why did we do that?
Like, what happened?
What triggered that?
Yeah, what started that?
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Or we've picked out specific phrases or things like
when you said this, what did youmean?
Because what I heard was blah,blah, blah, but the intent
behind it was not that, andthat's happened on both of our
parts.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
A thousand percent.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
A lot of times.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
Communication is being able to listen and reflect
.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
But listen in the fact that sometimes it's not
always great reflection that youmay be like yeah, I screwed
that up.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Yeah, and be patient with the listening and be
patient with the reflecting.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
Yeah, for each other.
Communication is not justtalking, it's also listening.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
Speaking of like learning as you're going through
life, because you learn whileyou're communicating and you're
learning to be patient andyou're learning each other's
communication style.
Yeah, that producer Michaelshared too, that 42 percent of
college graduates do not readanother book after graduating.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
That stat is insane to me.
I'm a learner, I love to learn.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
You are definitely a lifelong learner.
That's the education phrase.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
And that's things that intrigue me.
The other day I watched a thingI kept hearing AI agents, AI
agents.
I was like what is that?
So I dug a deep dive one nightinto two or three nights in a
row, not just one.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Your sleeping patterns are not something that
reverts back when we were onlive earlier of the part of your
routine that I would want toparticipate in.
Your sleeping patterns are notit.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
No, I get intrigued in something and I can't sleep,
and so I just dig, dig, dig, dig, and so I was really curious
what is that?
How does it work?
How do you do that?
How do you create that?
How does it happen?
I just, I'm intrigued bycertain things, and so learning
is a thing for me.
Like I try to read a book allthe time, I'm trying to read as
much as I can.
Mine are not fun fictionalbooks, I love business books.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
Yeah, that's what I was about to say.
I love leadership books.
Your books that you read forpleasure are always learning
books.
Yes it's something that I canwalk away.
That's applicable to my lifeVersus for my own self.
I read a lot at work, and thereare different professional
learning curriculum that we dotogether at work that are
(41:49):
learning books for us becausewe're at work.
So when I get to read forpleasure, it's nonsense.
It could be murder mysteries,it could be like Southern
fiction.
It's just literally nonsense.
And so when we're, our readingpatterns are very different too.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
You talked me into doing that one time.
You're like, just read thisbook and I was like I don't want
to read that book becausethere's nothing that I'm going
to walk away with.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
That's just fun for me.
I promise you you're going tolove it.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
I need something I can go use, and what I've
realized in my life as I'mgetting older, I I don't say
this in an arrogant way I amwell-educated in what I should
do.
I'm lacking in the part to justgo do it.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
For the fun of it.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Yeah, like there's part of me that's just like okay
, I know what to do, Just go doit.
Just go do some of those thingsit varies in different areas of
your life.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
As far as adventure, go, do, go out in the world, go,
do it right.
Adventure seeking.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
you're all in, like I'm in my I'm this is me.
I'm in my 50s, like early 50s,okay, so just give me, give me
some grace.
But I bought a longboardbecause I wanted to learn how to
longboard, because it's likesurfing and it just looks fun.
And it's a looks fun and it's alot of fun.
Longboarding is a lot of funand I just want to do it.
(43:12):
So it's just weird things likethat.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
So communicating and reflecting and learning, like be
a learner, but the reason why Ibrought up the— Like being a T1
thing in communication is belearning.
Which is why I was about to saythe reason why that statistic
that Michael told us about isbecause you got to be okay with
being you.
Well, you need to seek afterbeing a lifelong learner about
(43:36):
your own self and the worldaround you.
Right, because if you're juststuck in who you are, it's okay
to be confident in who you are,but if you're stuck there and
it's not working, you've got tobe okay with being a learner.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Yeah, you've got to change it.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
If you don't change it, nobody's going to.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Side note if you're watching and you want to
participate in this we'retalking about books and reading
maybe send us a DM or commentsomewhere.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
Yeah, just put a comment in one of our many
platforms.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
Yeah, a book that's impacted you as an adult, as a
lifelong learner.
If there's a book that's beenmeaningful for you to learn
about yourself or for you tolearn about how the world around
you and how that works, I mean,I'd love to know about it.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
And I know that you definitely would, because that's
his jam.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Yeah, yeah, if there's a book that you would
like to share with everyone, orjust us, I would love to hear
about that, Because I mean, Iwas talking about my, because
Producer Michael and I weretalking about because summer's
coming up for me, Tomorrow's mylast official working day for a
few weeks, and he was like whatare you going to do?
Do you just do all the things?
(44:47):
I'm like I don't do anything.
Like my favorite thing to do inthe summer is to go to the
public library and check outbooks and on my tablet I have
unlimited reading subscriptionof like I can read as much as I
want to.
I'll read like three or fourbooks a week, sometimes one in a
day, Like I don't want to doanything but just read and just
kind of be.
But anyway, side note, we wantto know what you're reading.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
Yeah, let us know what your favorite book is.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
And then the last category that we talked about
was trust and leadership.
The big deal is that there'snot really one leader in all the
areas of your relationship, orthere shouldn't be.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
Right, I don't think.
I don't think so either.
So, like, take some time, sitdown with your significant other
and just say what do we, whatdo you lead in, what are you
good at leading?
Speaker 2 (45:34):
out.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
What do you think I'm good at leading out and let's
figure it out together over,maybe finances, maybe it's
leading the kids, leading thefamily, maybe it's whatever it
may look like those areas.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
Like for us.
I've always, from day one, I'vebeen scheduling calendar, Like
when the kids were little andthey were doing four different
things at four different times.
I had a calendar, big calendar.
Everybody was color-coded ofwhere we needed to be and who
was doing what where.
And still today, when it's justyou and I and we're scheduling
(46:08):
life with all the things and thekids and now granddaughter,
scheduling is my thing and youtrust me with that 100%.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
I handle the financial part of that, the
vision and where we're goingdirection.
We kind of share that a littlebit, like we constantly talk
about what we want out of life,what we want to be, what we're
after, what are our really goalsfor, like, as we get older?
Speaker 2 (46:35):
in life, a couple and for family, yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:38):
And so that's just one of those things we just
share and talk throughconstantly, because it will
change.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
It will.
So sit down and talk about thattogether, because if you don't
share that goal of where you'regoing, then why are you going
there?
Speaker 1 (46:49):
yeah, it's gonna be rough yeah, just so you know.
So with what's tonight, tonight, uh, or this afternoon.
Just, thank you so much fortaking time to join us as we dig
into.
I mean, you're on a team.
If you're in a relationship,you're in a team, uh, you're in
that with them.
So let's figure out how to bethe best at it where we're at.
How can we do that better?
(47:10):
Yeah, if there's, if you gotsome suggestions or something
you think we missed, shoot it tous, let us know.
We are all ears.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
Because, like we recorded the last, the previous
episode, we don't know whatwe're doing.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
No, we're here to try to create community and
conversations around all thesedifferent things, so please be a
part of it With you.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
Our listener, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:31):
And so if you're on live and you joined us, thank
you so much for joining us live.
We're just trying to figurethat out If there's something
we're going to do and be a partof.
But thank you guys, just so youknow when we end.
I had this ridiculous goal formyself.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
That we would hit and a thousand downloads in a
hundred different cities.
And so we hit that this pastweekend, which is really cool.
Speaker 2 (47:53):
Thank you, everybody.
Speaker 1 (47:55):
Yes, Thanks for all the people everywhere who are
listening.
Please, you know, if you thinkit's good and you like it, share
it.
If not, that's OK too.
So maybe it's not your cup oftea, but that's all right.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Yeah, it's nice to me that that many people in that
many places in the world in ourcountry that actually listen to
us.
So thank you.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Yeah and we really, really appreciate it.
So, man, keep going, keepunpacking, keep digging in and
we'll see you guys next time.
Thank you.
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