May 12, 2025 • 47 mins
Have you ever wondered how to make each child in a blended family feel uniquely valued? Sometimes the answer lies in being purposefully present in both big adventures and small everyday moments.
When Greg and I merged our families, we quickly realized that intentionality would be our lifeline. After a chance encounter at Target revealed how our daughter Callie felt about sharing "her time" with us, we knew we needed a better approach. This moment of clarity sparked what would become one of our most cherished family traditions – the "Sweet 16 Adventures."
For each child's sixteenth birthday, we dedicated three to four days to go anywhere in the continental US and do whatever they wanted. Callie's New York adventure during a historic snowstorm, Thomas's adrenaline-filled outdoor excursion in Asheville, Cody's skateboarding journey up the California coast, and Erin Grace's personalized NYC experience – each trip uniquely reflected that child's personality and interests.
But perhaps the most powerful parts of our story aren't the grand adventures but the small, consistent investments we made: "Girls' Days" getting manicures, "Boys' Days" fishing followed by eating at "places the girls would never go," and those in-between moments where we simply showed up. These seemingly ordinary times built extraordinary connections that our now-adult children still reference today.
The beauty of intentional parenting isn't in perfection but presence. As I recently heard, "Don't wish for happiness to come. Be happy where you're at." Whether you're managing a blended family or simply looking to deepen your connection with your children, start where you are, with what you have. We'd love to hear your stories of intentional moments with your children on our social media. What simple traditions have created lasting bonds in your family?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm Greg.
I hope you guys are ready tounpack and get into some good
conversations today.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast Baggage
Claim.
Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
What's up everybody?
Thank you so much for joiningus on Baggage Claim Glad you
guys are back, or maybe, if thisis your first time here, thank
you for joining us.
Wherever you're at, whateveryou're doing, I want to
encourage you just to grab yourfavorite drink, whatever that
may be.
Maybe a sweet tea if you're inthe South, Maybe a tea, Maybe a
tea infused with something alittle bit more if you've had a
(00:38):
rough week.
Whatever that is.
Wherever you're at, whateveryou're doing, if you're driving,
if you're driving if you'resomewhere else just proverbially
, kind of just think of yourself.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Pull up to the table.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yeah, just pull up to our table and just chill and
hang out, because we're gettingin today.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
If you're like me, we're in May.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
If you're like Jess, jess is on in-school mode so
she's going to be probably offthe chain the last the next
couple weeks of recording.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I'm not trying to be but May's here, and if you're a
teacher like me, we're in thegame.
Well, if you're an early gradeseducation teacher like me K
through 2, we're on the end game.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
You know what's interesting to me?
Teachers get more pumped forthis time of year than they do
for Christmas.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
It's like you guys are just trying to hold the
wheels on we are and make itlook like you're actually
working.
Sorry, teachers, I know youwork all the time we are.
I know you guys are really justkilling it.
We are.
You're lining up those TV shows, those movies, to watch those
camping days.
I know you're lining those andthat's okay.
(01:50):
I'm okay with it.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Number one you're omitting our Kindle book wish
list.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Who.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
The Kindle the wish list for our books that we want
to read in the summer.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Those of us who do that.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I don't know when in the world you came up with that.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
You said you're lining up this and that and the
other and we're kicking off andblah blah blah but.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Okay, all right.
Well, you know.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
With that being said, I'm building my wish list on my
Kindle.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
So what's your number one book?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah, what is your number one book?
You said this I gotta ask now.
I don't know that I have anumber one book, but Come on.
But there's an author I amreading because of one of my
teammates, woo teammates FredaMcFadden.
She writes the most unhingedbooks that you think that you
(02:43):
know what's happening, hingedbooks that you think that you
know what's happening and thenwhen you're in there it's like,
oh, oh, oh, she switches pointof view and then you're like,
okay, I've got to figure it out.
And then it switches again.
You never know what.
And also it wasn't even ourteammate, it was our daughter,
callie, and one of my teammatesalso reads.
(03:05):
That reads her whole situation.
Right, I'm sorry, if you canhear me clicking, it's me If
you're watching a video.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Jess is like an ADD mess right now.
I'm fidgeting.
She's like get that girl someRitalin or something.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I'm fidgeting so hard with the cap on my pen.
I'm fidgeting so hard with thecap on my pen, but our daughter,
callie, recommended this author.
And then one of my teammatesalso reads this author.
Her books just are a whole mindsituation.
You think you know what's goingon and she tells it from the
point of view of one characterand then she switches and it's a
(03:42):
whole other character and thenit was like, okay, I feel like I
know what's going on and thenyou don't.
But the author is Freedom atFadden and has nothing to do
with anything ever we've evertalked about.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
But that's okay, At least you.
I'm glad you enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Anywho, you were talking about teachers and at
the end of the year, yes, wow,yeah, I was Wow the year.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yes, wow, yeah, I was Wow Bro, which room?
And?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
the school system that I'm in, we've got 13 minus
a day.
We've got 12 days left ofschool and it's a lot.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Well, we just spent a long weekend with our oldest
child, Callie, and her husband.
We got to spend a day withCharles in Pensacola, which is
awesome.
Just to go hang out down inPensacola with them.
The weather was amazing.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
But Callie teaches middle school.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yes, she's middle school.
Her husband teaches high school.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yes, I teach elementary school, so there's
the gap and I don't teachanything Me.
Right Me, you probably teach me.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Not probably you.
You teach me, but there's justso many stories, and even today,
when I got home there, was alot of stories.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Don't share this.
I'm not sharing.
No, no, no, no, no, no, becausethere's special secrets for my
classroom.
Right.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
But it's just, it's a lot, even with six and seven
year olds.
I come home and I'm just likedone Anyway, wow.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Thank you guys for joining us.
Just so you know, we arebroadcasting from this
incredible place of Thomas's oldbedroom of our house.
So I mean, this is high endstuff.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
If you tune in physically.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah, if you're watching.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Every time you've probably watched, I've got my
hair slicked back in a ponytail.
I've got some sort of oversizedsweatshirt or oversized T-shirt
.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
We really get dressed up for our podcast.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
It's a lot.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Yeah, we really go overboard with our outfits.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
So I have a t-shirt on, I've come home from the gym
and then we cook supper.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah, we just grilled burgers and hung out with our
producer, Michael Johnson, andso now we're just chilling.
So just so you guys know we'redoing life as we're talking
about it With you.
We're in the same mess with you.
Jess will go to bed as soon aswe're done because she's
exhausted, tired 100%, and it'sway past her bedtime, but anyway
.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
It's my bedtime right now.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
It is your bedtime, so you're getting Jess an extra
hour.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Wow, I'm sorry, I'm telling you man.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Tonight is a different episode.
It's a preview of Summer.
Jess, I'm telling you, man,tonight is a different episode.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
It's a preview of Summer Jazz.
I'm sorry, so tonight we'regoing to talk about
intentionality, so we share thata lot.
On here.
We talk about being intentionalwith each other.
Discuss at Baggage Claim isintentional.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
So tell me, when you think of when I say intentional,
what do you think about?
Well, there's been a lot ofintentional conversations.
We've been intentional with oneanother.
We've addressed that.
Intentional conversations.
We've been intentional with oneanother.
We've addressed that.
But one thing that we haven'ttalked about in depth a lot yet
is being intentional with ourtime with the kids.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
No, I ask you, when I think of the word intentional,
what do you think about?
Like?
Give me your definitionIntentional.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Intentional means making choices on purpose.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Hmm, okay, gotcha Like off of design.
There's a there.
There's a design.
There's a purpose.
There's a.
Uh, I hate to use the wordintention when you're talking
about intentional.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
You can't, you can't, you literally cannot.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
When I would do that in high school they'd be like
you can't use the word in thedefinition.
But it was also the idea ofplanning something with a
purpose and design to reach acertain goal or point.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
It's making a choice because you have an end goal.
Okay, basically.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Yeah, so wherever you're at in your relationship,
this is where.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
I thought you were going to no, because your phone
is the one that we're recordingon.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
You are on it tonight , you are just wow.
Here's my phone no we don'thave to look up the actual
definition of it.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I feel like we pretty much do.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Okay, then we are here, we are I said this is what
we're at tonight.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
I said what my definition of intentional is.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Okay, and so what?
You want me to read this one.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Because that's what we did in our planning meeting.
I'm a teacher, so what we do inour planning meeting is what we
do in real life.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Wow, we're sticking to the plan.
Okay.
Intentional means done withpurpose design or on purpose.
Okay, intentional means donewith purpose design or on
purpose.
It's simple and consciouseffort to achieve specific
outcome.
Synonymous includes deliberate,willful and purposeful Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
So are we good?
Yeah, I'm good.
Okay, One of the words that yousaid was simple.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Is being intentional, simple, in a blended family.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
In our experience, I think relationships, in essence,
I think healthy relationshipsare simple, like the way to
achieve them are okay.
Not the way to achieve them issimple.
The things you need to do toachieve a healthy relationship.
(09:36):
They're simple steps.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
They should be yeah it's just there.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
It's when you add all the other things on top of it
that make it complicated, yeah.
It's when you add all the otherthings on top of it that make
it complicated?
Yeah, and it makes it.
And then, just when you addlayer upon layer upon layer, it
just gets more.
It's hard, yeah, but in thesimplicity of it, and that's
what we want to try to do isbreak things down to the most
(10:00):
simple form and say, okay, let'sstart here and build off of
that.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Okay, no-transcript Right.
But for me on my side, it feltkind of not easy, but it felt
(10:25):
natural to be intentional whenwe decided to date.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
What do you mean?
Unpack that for me.
What do you mean?
When we started dating, itseemed intentional, seemed easy
for you.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
In previous podcasts we talked about what we were
looking for and then also whatwe didn't know we were looking
for.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Yeah, I actually understand what you're saying
when you talk aboutintentionality.
When we first got together,being intentional with mine and
your time together was kind ofnatural With our time.
Like you were a single mom, Iwas a single dad.
Being intentional with what wedid with them was kind of
natural for us.
But when we combined all thattogether it's a different story.
(11:17):
So we had to take it up to adifferent level with that
intentional?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah, and so, to reflect what you said, you and I
, when we decided to gettogether, it was easy to make
sure that you and I wereintentional about talking and
spending time together.
Then, when we were together asa whole family, all six of us,
that was obviously easy to do.
It was like we were being veryintentional.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Well, it was intentional for you and I.
I think the intentionality for,like, when our family was
together.
We had Callie and Cody forseven days.
Yes, they were with their momfor seven days, and then Aaron
and Thomas were with us all thetime.
Yes, so it was kind of like wehad to be intentional when
Callie and Cody were with us,because you get in for half the
(12:05):
month just right off the get-goand then even in that half month
, there's times where they'relike, hey, friend's having a
sleepover, they're having abirthday party, they're having
something that's going on.
So you have to plan aroundthose things of activities we
want to do as a family together.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Yeah, because we got Callie and Cody for half the
time.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
We had to be really aware of that because it was
kind of easy to kind of getcaught up in life and just the
busyness of when you have sportsand there's the regular routine
and this and that, and thenwhen they would have, you know,
every now and again Callie orCody would have a spend the
(12:50):
night party or a birthday partywhere it was on, like, quote
unquote, our weekend where wehad some plans or this or that.
So it just made us even likewhat you already said, that we
were aware of that but we had tobe even more like kind of
vigilant of making sure that thetime that we all had together
or the time that we had withthem was even more, not
(13:15):
necessarily it was more targeted.
Yeah, targeted, that's a goodword.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Yeah, I think the whole turning point for us
though kind of the crux of themoment for us, where it all
turned, is that it was oneweekend when we had Callie and
Cody.
Nani, which is Thomas andGrace's grandmother wanted to
spend time with them, so shetook them and they were going to
spend some time together, andwe were going to take Callie and
(13:47):
Cody and go out and just have anight and just have some fun.
And so we're at Target.
I don't know why we're atTarget with Callie and Cody, and
just happened to be that Naniwas at Target with Thomas and
Grace and they saw us, we justran into them.
Yeah, and they were just like ohmy gosh, there y'all are, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
And they came over and theystarted talking.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
And this was early on because Erin Grace was little
and when she saw us she kind ofgot emotional and was like I
want to go with mom and dad.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Well, it was really kind of one of those moments
where Callie kind of and Calliedidn't do this a whole lot, she
was very, very reserved.
So Callie got very emotionaland started crying.
I was like what's wrong?
And Callie would never justoutright just say what was
bothering her.
It was rare you had to mind forthat.
So we started asking somequestions and kind of found out
(14:35):
Callie was like it just doesn'tseem fair that they're with you
all the time and we only get youhalf the time.
And then this was our time forus to be with you.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
And then, therefore, now that's not even going to
happen If Aaron Grace wants tocome home, because blah, blah,
blah, thomas will come home, andthen it won't be me and Cody.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Yeah.
So it was an easy decision.
That night I said, okay, yeah,you guys go with Nani, we're
going to keep doing our thing,have fun.
And the night turned out Well.
It wasn't an easy decision.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
It was like a.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Well, it was an easy decision.
That's what we needed to do.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Because of that realization, that moment.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Right.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
But, and that had never been presented to us yet
at that point.
In that way, well, it's justyour perspective of that changes
.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Like you get to see things from Callie or Cody's
point of view versus the otherkids, and so when I say it was
easy, it was like no, this is adecision we need to make.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
And so we made that decision.
Well, that was kind of aturning point for us to have a
discussion about how we spendtime with our kids and to, even
more intentional, about what wedo with them, how we do it, what
that looks like and how we are,and so and it was a good
reflection too of what wethought looked intentional
(15:57):
versus what it felt like on thereceiving end of the kids.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah, Because they were still really young at that
point.
Versus what it felt like on thereceiving end of the kids.
Yeah, because what you— Becausethey were still really young at
that point.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Well, what you think it is is probably different from
what they think it is.
And so it's that wholecommunication thing of
continuing that conversationwith them.
So we were on a weekend away.
I think Gallen and Cody werewith their mom, Thomas and Erin
Grace were with Nani, and so wewent away for the weekend and we
were just thinking theconversation came up.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
It was a good reflection point of what had
just recently happened.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Kind of how cool would it be if we had time away
with one of our kids?
What if one of our kids washere and we got to spend just
time with them?
And so then we just startedtalking and brainstorming and so
the idea came up with okay,let's set aside a time where our
kids can have three to fourdays of our undivided attention.
(16:50):
We do whatever they want to do,wherever they want to do it.
Whatever that is, we're goingto give them that time.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
So I kind of thought about okay, what's a big
milestone for a kid?
And it was a Sweet 16, becausethere's always well
traditionally, there's aquote-unquote always a party for
a Sweet 16 or a quinceanera orsomething like that.
And so I was like, okay, whatabout for our kids?
So what if we do a Sweet 16getaway with just that one kid
(17:20):
and us?
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Yeah, and so the idea was is like you have three to
four days and within reason,we'll do whatever it is you want
to do.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
So when we first brought up this idea, talking
about it with the kids, Codysaid you know, can we go to
Japan?
Yeah, he immediately went.
Immediately, Like international, Like yeah, let's go to Japan.
Yeah, he immediately went.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Immediately Like international, Like yeah, let's
go to Japan, and I was like whoa, okay, wait a minute.
Hang on.
Thank you.
We've got to put somerestrictions on this, so it was
like anywhere in the continentalUS we will go, because we
didn't I mean we weren't, wedidn't have a whole lot of money
then either Like we're justtrying to bootstrap this
together and make it work.
And so I don't even know how wewere going to pay for these
(18:03):
trips.
We're like, how's this going towork?
But we said, okay, 16thbirthday, anyone in the
continental US, you get three tofour days of our time and we're
going to do whatever you wantto do, and so that set it off.
Callie was the very first oneto kick off the celebration and
she was like I want to go to NewYork and so we were like okay,
(18:25):
yeah, great idea yeah we're likethat sounds like an amazing.
And Callie is a January baby,and so we're like, okay, we'll
go in January.
And so we planned the trip.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
We tried to plan it so it would be around Christmas
time.
So, everything would still bedecorated and all, but in that
investigation.
You know it just.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Financially it was just not doable.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
We're a big family.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
We had to figure it out, yeah we're like, yeah, we
can't go and Christmas will goat your birthday and so I love
planning the trip.
So I asked her, what do youwant to do?
And she was like I want to goto see a movie on Broadway.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Not a movie, a show, A show yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Sorry, not a movie show, thank you, I want to go to
Central Park and then shewanted to eat at this place
where they had the frozen hotchocolate.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
It's called Serendipity.
Yes.
And so we're like okay, that'sit.
She's like, yeah, that's all.
She had very touristy ideas,yes.
And she's like I want to go seethese things and we're like,
okay, cool.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
And so I used to travel a lot for work and I had
this idea.
I was like cool, I'll do the, Iwant to have some, I'll rent a
car that some guy's holdingCallie's name when she gets off.
And so they're like, oh, calliePeck, that's awesome.
So I reached out to thiscompany and told them hey, this
is what we're doing, we'recelebrating a birthday.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Your actual name is Gregory Peck.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Gregory Peck.
Yes, and I don't know if youknow, but Gregory Peck was a
famous old school actor, so Imade sure to use my full name
when making reservations at anyof the restaurants or any of the
things in New York.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
It was a handful of times.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Yeah, there were a few times where people were like
, oh, Gregory Peck.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Oh no, it's me.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Yeah.
But we get to the airport andthere's a guy holding a sign
Cali and Cali.
I was like, oh my gosh, that'sour car.
And I was like, oh my gosh,that's our car.
And I was like, yeah, that'sour car.
So we were walking to the carand I had gotten us just a
little town car, Just a regulartown car yeah just a four-door
little sedan, like black sedans.
Cool.
We get there and there's thismassive stretch limo like
massive stretch limo.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
And we get in the back and there's like— I
immediately look at you.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
There's bubbly stuff everywhere Like like hey, here's
some sparkling like grape juiceand some other, and I was just
like oh my God, I look at youand I'm like what did you do?
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Yeah, so I was thinking, I knew what the budget
was and I knew what we hadalready reserved.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Yeah, so I was like there's no way I can afford this
.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I must have up-charred that it was good.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
So we rode and we got a little boutique hotel down
maybe a block and a half.
What was the name of the—do youremember the name?
Speaker 2 (21:11):
of the— the.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Warwick, the Warwick Amazing place.
I don't know if it's still athing.
It is A lot of years ago Ifyou're Warwick.
The Warwick was an amazingboutique hotel there, a couple
blocks from.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Central Park.
We give a five-star rating withour whole experience.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
We get there the guy drops us off, and I was just
like, okay, well, we're notgoing to be able to eat or do
anything because I just bought alimo.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Do any of our plans work?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Yeah, and so the guy was just like.
I was like hey, did I orderthis or was this a mistake?
And he's like no, we saw thatit was her 16th birthday, so we
upgraded you free of charge.
We just wanted to do that foryou, so I tipped the guy really
well, yeah, I was super excitedabout that.
And then we go into the hoteland they're just like oh hey,
callie, we're so excited to seeyou celebrate your 16th birthday
(21:55):
with us.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
We decided to upgrade you to this which upgrade you
to this, which, thankfully, youhad emailed them ahead of time.
I did being the good daddy thatyou are, I'd be like, hey,
we're coming up here for ourdaughter's 16th.
Yeah, looking for things to do,yes.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Help make the reservations, so they upgraded
us into this massive two-bedroomhotel Like one side was like a
living room, tables, everything.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
And then we had a whole living room, dining room,
kitchenette, and then a wholeseparate bedroom area with our
two queen beds that we hadrequested.
That's all we wanted.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
And it was a whole situation.
So, anyway, we're just like ohmy gosh.
Well then they sent up thisplate of chocolate-covered
strawberries that had happybirthday, sweet 16th.
Happy 16th, Call Cali orwhatever it was, and it was just
like, oh my gosh, we went andsaw Wicked, we went and ate at
(22:51):
the Tavern on the Green we didwhich was amazing.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
We had an amazing time the Italian restaurant that
we ate at before our show.
That was just beyond Phenomenal.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
But it also snowed like a massive, massive
snowstorm.
It was the second largestsnowstorm in New York history.
History yeah.
Shut down the city it senteverybody home.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
It even shut down public transportation, which is
the second time ever that that'sever happened.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
It was kind of crazy because we were like we're on
Fifth Avenue and we're liketaking selfies in the middle of
the street and there's no onethere, no cars.
It's like a ghost town.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
We had bought tickets to some public events like the
One World Tower and a coupleother things that we had, thank
goodness, got refunded for.
But there was all these bigplans, yeah, and you know it
didn't matter, because allCallie knew was yeah just snow,
so we had.
That we were there for her.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yeah, it could have been bad, but it turned out to
be an amazing, fun, fun time.
We got to leave on time, we gotto come home Tons of Barely.
Yeah, tons of snow, tons of funstuff.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Well, including one of the walks in Central Park,
because it was so close to ourhotel that you had gotten us.
One of the times we werewalking in Central Park I was
trying to be all cute and, likeyou know, social media cute and
write Happy, sweet 16th or Cali16th or whatever, in the snow
(24:26):
bank that were as tall as wewere and we don't know how to
dress for snow because we justdon't have that here and my
boots didn't have a grip at all,and so when I was leaning
forward to write that in there,I got about halfway through and
my whole self fell into the snowbank.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Yeah, which was very entertaining for Callie and I to
just see Jess's feet stickingout of the snow Only my feet and
we, I mean we laughed for alittle bit.
I don't know that we took apicture, but before we helped
her out.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
There is a picture of what I was trying to write.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
But I don't know if there was a picture of me,
because y'all were kind enoughto get me out of it.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
So it was a ton of fun.
We had a blast, so we're likealright, there's one kid down.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Next year rolls around.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Literally the next year.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
The next year it was Thomas and Thomas was like I
don't care where we go, I don'tcare, I just want it to be fun
adventure.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
And I was like what do you mean Outside adventure?
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Yeah, and I was like, okay, got you, boo, I got it.
We're going to do what we do.
And so we went to Asheville,north Carolina, and we went
ziplining on some of the largestziplines I could find, which
was fun for me because I used tobuild zip lines and so it was
really fun to go find some onesthat I really liked and wanted
to go ride.
So we did zip lines outside ofAsheville.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Mind you, at that point I had never ridden a zip
line in my life.
And then you had Thomas.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Yeah, and these weren't like little bitty.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
It was.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Navitats zip lines outside of Asheville, which they
do, a phenomenal job they'relike the longest in the
southeast.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Well, they were at that time, at that point they
were there, it was prettyamazing, but this was years and
years ago.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
They did a great job.
We had a blast.
We stayed in a little coolboutique hotel in Asheville.
We ate, and then we wentmountain biking the next day on
some ridiculous mountain biketrails.
I tried so hard to keep up withyou guys.
Yeah, and so we were mountainbiking.
At the time, thomas was on amountain bike team and.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
I was a coach and so we had, we rode a lot, yeah, and
I that that particular day Itried to keep up with you guys
and I went just a what I wouldhave felt like was a quarter way
.
I kept up with y'all and thenthere was a sign that said
triple black diamond and I waslike you know what I'm going to
turn around, because that meansit's really, really hard, and I
(26:48):
just went back to our truck andI just was reading until you got
back there and I was thankfulthat you all got back safe.
We did and in one piece but likeyou had like some rib injuries
from the handlebars.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yeah, I went off and the handlebar went in the rib
and Thomas and I got separated.
We had a—I mean—.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
It was a whole thing.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
It was fun, but it was rough.
That was so tough.
And then the next—we load up inthe car and the next day we go
whitewater rafting on the Coeyand Jess wasn't a big whitewater
rafter.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Thomas had never been .
No, I was scared out of my mind.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
And so we went whitewater rafting, had a blast,
and then Thomas went to end inAtlanta.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yeah, but in the meantime one of these places,
when I was trying to helpnavigate and then find a place
to stay, there was one placethat was not that great.
Yeah, most of the places wereawesome there was one place that
was not that great.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Yeah, most of the places were awesome.
There was one that was sketch.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
It was sketch, it was laying on top of the and
because they were gentlemen,they would let me go ahead to
shower and clean up and all thethings, and I was like you know
what?
This is scary.
And it feels a little unsafe,and not because I was not
outside the room or whatever,but it was just like one of
those places where, like, do Ineed flip-flops or do I not need
(28:07):
flip-flops, whatever?
But anyway, there were somebumps in the road.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Yes, definitely, but it was a fun trip.
But then we left fromWhitewater Rafting and drove to
downtown Atlanta because therewere some things Thomas wanted
to do in downtown Atlanta and sowe did some adventures there.
We did and had a blast, but Iwill say this His trip at the
end of his trip I felt like wehad been.
I had been beat up Like I wasexhausted, like I was so tired
(28:36):
Physically, I was like I'm done,like I.
I mean, I was like I love youand we've had a blast.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
But bro, this was a lot.
Yeah, I am, I need a nap, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
So we had so much fun , I had a blast.
Then it was up to Cody.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
And Cody was like I want to go to California.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
And so we're like okay, cool, we're off to
California.
I was like what do we want todo in California?
He's like Cody loved theskimboard and he's like I don't
know, I just want to go up thecoast and he was fascinated with
surfing up the coast and he wasfascinated with surfing.
Yeah, he said, I want to see, Iwant to see.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I want to see the West Coast, I want to see
California.
We're like done Well, and youhad also taught him that, like
skimboarding, what he wasfascinated in had originated on
the West Coast.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Well, there was a yeah on the on the South end,
down at Laguna Beach, yeah.
So we flew into LAX, we renteda car, we went down to Laguna
Beach and we found the surf shop, which was crazy enough that
the surf shop, the guy who ownedthe surf shop, was from the
beach.
Tabby Island, st Salmon's no,yeah, right outside of St
(29:42):
Salmon's he was from TabbyIsland and had moved out there
and I was just like, are youkidding me, like from Georgia,
and he's like, yeah, I was likebro, we had moved out there, and
I was just like are you kiddingme?
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Like from Georgia?
And he's like yeah, I was likebro, we rented the skimboard for
that day.
Yeah, so we rented theskimboard from him.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
We went out and skimboarded and Cody was a
little gun shy because the onein the beach was different.
It was completely differentfrom everything else he had ever
known.
Yeah, it's very very cold andthe waves were breaking maybe
five feet off the shore.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
Up your nose.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Yeah, like big shore breaks Right there, yeah.
And he was just like andthere's these little kids that
are like maybe seven, that arejust ripping it.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
And Cody's like I'm 16.
I don't want to look like anidiot in front of these guys.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
But anyway, I think he got a ride or two in.
We're like okay, cool, let'scarry it back.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Yeah and so we, um, we rode quite a bit at the pch,
the pacific.
Yeah, we dropped the board offand just started driving up just
magnificent I mean even fromthe scene, like we said hey, you
have free reign over thesethree to four days.
So we told him, I was like hey,you, you've got the music, you
got the playlist while we driveyeah, you, you, man, the man,
the music and I was like we'rejust driving.
I was like the.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
The most fun thing is , though, even though they had
the big idea of where theywanted to go, and a lot of them
had a you know, a few specificthings that they were looking
at- right and what they wereafter.
But in general it was up to youand I.
Yeah, plan, but also that goesback to that word.
(31:13):
We keep saying over and overagain that being intentional, to
make sure we plan that timewith that child to speak to what
those, those needs were and orthose wants and desires were so
my job was to plan the overalltrip.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Yes, um the big things your job was to, while
the overall trip yes, the bigthing your job was to, while
we're driving, find us a placewe're going to stay that night,
yeah, and sometimes I wassuccessful and sometimes I was
just not.
Sometimes it's going to miss.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Like the one with Thomas and the one we were, the
hotel was we were a littlescared of.
Yeah, we had some good ones inCalifornia, yeah, but for Cody,
when we weren't quite sure whatwe were doing me mainly we
looked up on one of the ones,well, one night.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
We're just jamming.
I mean we are jamming, having abig time.
We got the windows down, cody'sgot the music cranked.
We're driving through themountains, it's dark, it's the
middle of the night.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
It's probably like 8.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
I have no idea where.
I'm at Literally nothing, justup the Pacific Coast Highway
Just motoring and all of asudden I look up and there's
blue lights and I was like, areyou kidding me?
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Yeah, Blue lights, yeah, pull over.
We were going so fast.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
I was like that's actually a great question.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
We 100% don't know, and I remember you turning your
phone to him.
He was like you're not fromhere, are you?
Yeah, I showed him the rentalagreement.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
He goes you're not from here.
I was like absolutely not.
And he goes, all right, andwe're standing there and he goes
license.
And so I'm giving him, I'mtrying to get all the
information to give the cop.
So I give it to the cop andhe's reading it and he's looking
at it.
We're having a conversation.
He's very nice and I'm justlike.
(32:56):
You know what?
It's a ticket.
So he's writing the ticket andhe goes.
You know what?
I'm going to give you a warning.
And I was like thank you so he'swriting the ticket and this
dude just motors through this.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
It was a four-way stop Motors through the four-way
stop.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
He literally takes the ticket, throws it in the
window and is like have a goodnight, Never mind have a good
night Runs back, jumps on hisbike and takes off.
After this guy I was like, well, that worked out, Okay, great.
And so I think Cody actuallykept that ticket in his memories
.
But we went into this placecalled Morro Bay.
(33:31):
Yeah, we had no idea it wasdark.
We get into there.
It was this little cool hoteland it was just the next—we wake
up the next morning.
It was just really—the peoplewere super sweet that we rented
the place from.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Left us in a lock—our key in a lock box.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
and this whole thing Sweet notes to us, yeah, but we
get out the next morning and Iwas like where are we?
Speaker 2 (33:53):
at.
It was a magical wonderland.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
It was beautiful, like the mountains just were
dumping into the ocean.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
And the bay where we were in had these giant rock
formations in the middle.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
It just shot out of the water.
It was the most beautiful, coolthing and we're like, okay,
well, let's go find breakfast.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
And so we start wandering down through the town
and lucky Cody is a hugeskateboarder.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Loves skateboarding.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
There was a skateboard museum there, so the
skateboard museum was like dude,that's where we're going after
breakfast.
So we go down and we sit atthis incredibly beautiful
restaurant where the three of uskept saying is this real life?
Yeah, we're sitting out there.
It's like the sun's, I mean,it's coming up.
It's beautiful.
There's rocks, big old rocks,the ocean.
(34:38):
We're right on the side of theocean.
Food was amazing.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
They even had a little heater that came out
underneath your feet.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
So I wasn't freezing to death.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
And I was just like, okay, this is pretty phenomenal.
And then we went to theSkateboard Museum and then
ultimately we wound up in SantaCruz.
The whole idea for Cody was wewere going to end in Santa Cruz
because he was a huge skateboardguy and we came to the Santa
Cruz Board Shop If you're askateboarder you know that's
super cool.
It's like a mecca.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
It's one of those like, if you know, you know,
yeah, it's just the place youwant to be.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
And so we went to Santa Cruz.
We did a stir.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
And that was a super cool like half-a-day experience.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
And so we went to the board shop and then we did surf
lessons.
So we did a surfing Cody and Isurfed at Santa Cruz, while Jess
sat on the beach and froze todeath.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
I did.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
We had a blast.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
It was so much fun Watching these five-year-olds
frolic in the frigid water withtheir bathing suits on.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
I was freezing, so we hung out in Santa Cruz and had
a blast.
We jumped in, we come home.
We made LAX in the middle ofthe night.
We slept all the way homebecause we were exhausted.
Amazing trip, fun, fell in love.
I'd move back to Santa Cruztomorrow if I could.
It was beautiful.
I couldn't afford it.
And then the fourth one we wentback to New York and Grace was
(35:56):
like I want to go back to NewYork, it's so fun that the
bookend trips were New York,because they were so different.
Yes, very different.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Yeah, erin Grace had these specific boutiques and
these specific stops that shewanted to make, like Callie did.
But they were very verydifferent, but the commonality
was they wanted to go see a showon Broadway.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
But the best part is that, since we knew the place
where we took Callie girl forher dinner before Broadway, we
took Erin Grace for her dinnerbefore her Broadway show, and
she was equally impressed.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
Yeah, same place.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Yes.
Amazing People are amazingthere, and it was literally on
Erin Grace's birthday, and itwas so cute because the staff
knew that it was her birthdayand they obviously didn't know
her name.
So when they sang happybirthday to her, they said happy
birthday, total stranger.
And it was such a good memory.
We went to Phantom of the Operathat night we did, and it was
the final year of the showingand we got to see some touristy
(36:57):
sites that Erin Grace had on herlist, that Callie did not have
on her list.
It was just so fun.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Well, we went to the One Tower.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
We did go to the One Tower when we tried to go.
One World Trade.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Yes tower.
We didn't go to the one towerum where we tried to go trade
yes, and we went to the museum,the 9-11 museum.
We tried to do that with callie, but this got snowed out yeah,
when we went with aaron.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Phenomenal at that amazing and I feel like that was
kind of a god moment too,because at that point when
callie was going, it was justobviously because of what had
happened to our country and just, you know, honor and memoriam
too.
But when Aaron Grace was going,Thomas, our oldest son, had
already started on hisfirefighter journey and so
(37:42):
seeing that then was very itjust brought it to life of what
one of our kids had chosen to dofor his own career.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Yeah.
It was just a whole differentexperience of what it would have
been four years prior.
You got to go see those thingsyou do.
I mean go to the South End, goto the park, you can look at
Statue of Liberty down there.
All those things are amazing.
The One Tower was justphenomenal.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
It was.
It's life was just phenomenal.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
It was it's life-changing Such a cool
experience we went to—she wantedramen noodles from Chinatown,
so we rode the subway toChinatown got ramen noodles.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
One of the things on her list at that point in her
life was a specific boutique,and so as we went from Chinatown
to get the for-real ramen andwe went to the boutique and you
were waiting outside.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
Yeah, I wasn't about to go into the boutique because
I was boutiqued out.
That's what Erin wanted to gointo every clothing.
I was like I love you, sweetie,but I'm going to wait outside.
Well, I'm out there eatingthese noodles and I guess I look
like a local because I waswrapped up and this couple came
up and they're just like hey,where's so-and-so?
I had no freaking idea whatthey were talking about.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
And then, what did you pretend like?
Speaker 1 (38:54):
I gave my best New York accent.
That I thought.
I mean, I'm from Georgia, so Itried to do my best New York
accent and I was just like oh,you go down here about two
streets, take a right and thenyou take your first left.
It's right there on the rightand they're just like oh, thank
you so much Thank you so much.
I was like you guys have a greatday Just eating my noodles.
I had no idea.
(39:14):
Bless For you couple.
I'm sorry.
It was fun but it was a lot.
But anyway, we did Subway.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
We did all the things we had so much fun.
Well, at that point we kind oftoyed with the idea of like,
what if we do a trip when theyturn 21?
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Yeah, but it yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
But our oldest two got married when they were 21.
So it was like okay, thatchanges things yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
It was when we came home with Aaron.
It was a week later wheneverything shut down in New York
For COVID For.
Covid, and it was likeeverything hit from that.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
So everything changed .
It was literally the same week.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Yeah, hit from that, so everything changed the same
week.
Yeah, it was like, yeah, likeseven days later.
So it was crazy, yeah, crazytime.
But what's we say?
That to say?
I mean, those are our fun, funtrips we did yes but we also had
very, very intentional smallthings we did with our kids on a
uh like a weekly basis thatweren't huge, that weren't
massive.
You don't have to spend becauseI know you're probably out
there going, bro.
I'm not spending money to go toNew York or California.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
I mean, there were some stories that we talked
about that we haven't eventalked about now during the
recording of, like, I had girls'days with the girls where we
would go and get our nails doneand we would go shopping and
things like that on a regularbasis.
That I would just do for Girls'Day, and you had Boys' Days and
guys' time.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
And Boys' Days, we would either go fishing and then
we would go eat some reallytrashy food that the girls would
never eat like crystals orsomewhere that the girls just
were like, eh, that's gross.
So we were like, yeah, we'regoing to go eat there.
Our first trip to crystals,corey Anderson was with us.
We went fishing, went toCrystal, and Thomas starts
(40:53):
crying.
Bless his heart.
He hates this story and Corey'slike why are you crying?
He goes, my mom never lets meeat crystals.
And Corey's like just shut upand eat that.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Corey was not.
He was younger.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
They needed to have kids, yeah but I mean, I feel
like you probably backed him upon that.
And so it was funny, I had beena single mama for a long time
and I thought Crystal was gross.
So of course I'm not going totake him to Crystal.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
And so.
But guys' days consisted of myfamily had a lot of land, so
sometimes we'd just go shootskeet, yeah, just go hang out,
like we would go do just fun guythings, anything sound fun.
Sometimes we'd go to just youknow, just any kind of thing
that sounded fun as guys.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Yeah, same thing for us when I had the girls, just me
and Aaron, and sometimes it wassimple things.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
Like we were in the backyard.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
And the boys would just hang out while you ladies
went and done something simple.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
So it's not about We'd go shopping or go get our
nails done.
It's not about a big thing, no.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
We did our 16th trips because we wanted those to be
something big and memorable.
But the idea is beingintentional with every single
moment you have, whether that'son a daily basis, on a weekly
basis, not just when they turn16.
Don't wait for that one moment.
There's tons of moments.
You get to embrace those andhave those times, yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
So to kind of bring us to the unpack portion of this
, we've had a great timeretelling our stories, because
they are fun.
But the intentionality behindthe stories is what makes them
so memorable for us and the kids, because all four of them still
talk about this many yearslater.
They still talk about theirtrips because it was just them,
(42:34):
and they all four still talkabout even just a regular quote,
unquote everyday things that wewould do with them, like
crystal or swimming or fishing,or when I would take the girls
to go get our nails done or goshopping or whatever.
It's not just like one morething to do on your list of
(42:56):
things to do, because if you'rein the thick of a blended family
, like we were at that point,it's more than just one more
thing to do.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
Right.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
Would you agree with that?
Speaker 1 (43:09):
It's the thing to do, right?
Would you agree with that?
It's the thing to do?
I don't mean it to be that andone of those ways.
I watched a TikTok the otherday and it's so interesting, but
it just hit me right where Iwas at it was a lady speaking
and it was like I can't waittill my kids can bathe
themselves.
I can't wait till they move out.
(43:30):
I can't wait till they do this.
I can't wait till my kids canbathe themselves.
I can't wait till they move out.
I can't wait till they do this.
I can't wait till they do that.
And it showed her with heradult kids and she was basically
like don't be happy whereyou're at, in the moment you're
at.
Don't wish for the happiness tocome.
Be happy where you're at.
And I think that's theintentionality behind it is like
(43:50):
you get to decide.
You get to make those decisions.
You get to be targeted for theoutcomes with your kids.
Enjoy them, whether it's you'reat a ball field, whether you're
at a cheer competition, whetheryou're traveling, whether
you're not, whether you're just.
You get to spend some timebeing intentional about how
you're spending your time.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
um, and who you're spending it with, because people
say it all the time but youdon't realize it till after the
fact.
So I don't mean to join thechoir of the people who say, oh,
you just don't realize whatyou've got till, it's gone, but
it's so true it is so, so true,because I know you and I both
have talked about it multipletimes like we feel like we did
(44:31):
the best we could and we enjoyedit the best we could when our
kids were little.
But it's kind of like would Ilike to go back and do it again
to make sure that we enjoyedevery single second.
Well, yeah, I would, but I feelpretty confident.
Not in a boastful way, I don'tmean to sound like ugly when I
(44:52):
say that, but I feel like wetried really, really hard.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
We did.
We didn't make it all, but Imean we did the best we could.
Speaker 2 (44:59):
We did.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Anything else to add?
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Mainly just kind of like what we've been talking
about this evening.
It's like it's not that youknow it, it's the one-on-one
foundations, or their one-on-oneattention to um little things.
That sets the foundation forlike kind of everything and that
(45:24):
feels like a big statement tosay.
But like our grown kids who arein their mid-20s now, it's wild
to say they.
I feel like they would kind ofagree with that.
Like, as hard as we tried tomake sure everything was equal
or, you know, blended as best aswe could, there's those little
(45:46):
bitty things that we made sureto kind of point out or support.
There are the big pieces of whothey are as people.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
Now, so wrapping it up, thank you guys.
So much for listening.
If you haven't like subscribeto our podcast, please do so.
We're just doing this for thefun of it.
We're just trying to spread theword.
Thank you for sharing, thankyou for listening.
We finally got someoneinternationally listening too
(46:16):
Australia.
So, yeah, we jumped the pond,which is kind of fun.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
Who do we know in Australia that listen to us?
Can you please message us,because I'm fascinated by that.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
And so I would just love to say, and all of that
saying, thank you so much forfollowing us.
I want to hear your stories.
I want to hear somethingintentional you've done with
your kids that you felt like wasa home run that mattered.
Go to our social media.
You can find us on Facebook,instagram.
All those good things.
Go there, share your story,because I want to hear it, we
(46:51):
would love to hear it, and otherpeople too would love to have
some ideas, some things they canhelp build, some intentional,
fun ideas around, whereverthey're at.
So please share.
Thank you for liking, thank youfor subscribing.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
Yes, thank you.
Speaker 1 (47:04):
And we'll catch you guys in the next one.
Thank you.
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm Greg.
I hope you guys are ready tounpack and get into some good
conversations today.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast Baggage
Claim.
Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
What's up everybody?
Thank you so much for joiningus on Baggage Claim Glad you
guys are back, or maybe, if thisis your first time here, thank
you for joining us.
Wherever you're at, whateveryou're doing, I want to
encourage you just to grab yourfavorite drink, whatever that
may be.
Maybe a sweet tea if you're inthe South, Maybe a tea, Maybe a
tea infused with something alittle bit more if you've had a
(00:38):
rough week.
Whatever that is.
Wherever you're at, whateveryou're doing, if you're driving,
if you're driving if you'resomewhere else just proverbially
, kind of just think of yourself.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Pull up to the table.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yeah, just pull up to our table and just chill and
hang out, because we're gettingin today.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
If you're like me, we're in May.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
If you're like Jess, jess is on in-school mode so
she's going to be probably offthe chain the last the next
couple weeks of recording.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I'm not trying to be but May's here, and if you're a
teacher like me, we're in thegame.
Well, if you're an early gradeseducation teacher like me K
through 2, we're on the end game.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
You know what's interesting to me?
Teachers get more pumped forthis time of year than they do
for Christmas.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
It's like you guys are just trying to hold the
wheels on we are and make itlook like you're actually
working.
Sorry, teachers, I know youwork all the time we are.
I know you guys are really justkilling it.
We are.
You're lining up those TV shows, those movies, to watch those
camping days.
I know you're lining those andthat's okay.
(01:50):
I'm okay with it.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Number one you're omitting our Kindle book wish
list.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Who.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
The Kindle the wish list for our books that we want
to read in the summer.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Those of us who do that.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I don't know when in the world you came up with that.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
You said you're lining up this and that and the
other and we're kicking off andblah blah blah but.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Okay, all right.
Well, you know.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
With that being said, I'm building my wish list on my
Kindle.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
So what's your number one book?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah, what is your number one book?
You said this I gotta ask now.
I don't know that I have anumber one book, but Come on.
But there's an author I amreading because of one of my
teammates, woo teammates FredaMcFadden.
She writes the most unhingedbooks that you think that you
(02:43):
know what's happening, hingedbooks that you think that you
know what's happening and thenwhen you're in there it's like,
oh, oh, oh, she switches pointof view and then you're like,
okay, I've got to figure it out.
And then it switches again.
You never know what.
And also it wasn't even ourteammate, it was our daughter,
callie, and one of my teammatesalso reads.
(03:05):
That reads her whole situation.
Right, I'm sorry, if you canhear me clicking, it's me If
you're watching a video.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Jess is like an ADD mess right now.
I'm fidgeting.
She's like get that girl someRitalin or something.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I'm fidgeting so hard with the cap on my pen.
I'm fidgeting so hard with thecap on my pen, but our daughter,
callie, recommended this author.
And then one of my teammatesalso reads this author.
Her books just are a whole mindsituation.
You think you know what's goingon and she tells it from the
point of view of one characterand then she switches and it's a
(03:42):
whole other character and thenit was like, okay, I feel like I
know what's going on and thenyou don't.
But the author is Freedom atFadden and has nothing to do
with anything ever we've evertalked about.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
But that's okay, At least you.
I'm glad you enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Anywho, you were talking about teachers and at
the end of the year, yes, wow,yeah, I was Wow the year.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yes, wow, yeah, I was Wow Bro, which room?
And?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
the school system that I'm in, we've got 13 minus
a day.
We've got 12 days left ofschool and it's a lot.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Well, we just spent a long weekend with our oldest
child, Callie, and her husband.
We got to spend a day withCharles in Pensacola, which is
awesome.
Just to go hang out down inPensacola with them.
The weather was amazing.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
But Callie teaches middle school.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yes, she's middle school.
Her husband teaches high school.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yes, I teach elementary school, so there's
the gap and I don't teachanything Me.
Right Me, you probably teach me.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Not probably you.
You teach me, but there's justso many stories, and even today,
when I got home there, was alot of stories.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Don't share this.
I'm not sharing.
No, no, no, no, no, no, becausethere's special secrets for my
classroom.
Right.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
But it's just, it's a lot, even with six and seven
year olds.
I come home and I'm just likedone Anyway, wow.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Thank you guys for joining us.
Just so you know, we arebroadcasting from this
incredible place of Thomas's oldbedroom of our house.
So I mean, this is high endstuff.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
If you tune in physically.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah, if you're watching.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Every time you've probably watched, I've got my
hair slicked back in a ponytail.
I've got some sort of oversizedsweatshirt or oversized T-shirt
.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
We really get dressed up for our podcast.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
It's a lot.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Yeah, we really go overboard with our outfits.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
So I have a t-shirt on, I've come home from the gym
and then we cook supper.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah, we just grilled burgers and hung out with our
producer, Michael Johnson, andso now we're just chilling.
So just so you guys know we'redoing life as we're talking
about it With you.
We're in the same mess with you.
Jess will go to bed as soon aswe're done because she's
exhausted, tired 100%, and it'sway past her bedtime, but anyway
.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
It's my bedtime right now.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
It is your bedtime, so you're getting Jess an extra
hour.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Wow, I'm sorry, I'm telling you man.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Tonight is a different episode.
It's a preview of Summer.
Jess, I'm telling you, man,tonight is a different episode.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
It's a preview of Summer Jazz.
I'm sorry, so tonight we'regoing to talk about
intentionality, so we share thata lot.
On here.
We talk about being intentionalwith each other.
Discuss at Baggage Claim isintentional.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
So tell me, when you think of when I say intentional,
what do you think about?
Well, there's been a lot ofintentional conversations.
We've been intentional with oneanother.
We've addressed that.
Intentional conversations.
We've been intentional with oneanother.
We've addressed that.
But one thing that we haven'ttalked about in depth a lot yet
is being intentional with ourtime with the kids.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
No, I ask you, when I think of the word intentional,
what do you think about?
Like?
Give me your definitionIntentional.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Intentional means making choices on purpose.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Hmm, okay, gotcha Like off of design.
There's a there.
There's a design.
There's a purpose.
There's a.
Uh, I hate to use the wordintention when you're talking
about intentional.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
You can't, you can't, you literally cannot.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
When I would do that in high school they'd be like
you can't use the word in thedefinition.
But it was also the idea ofplanning something with a
purpose and design to reach acertain goal or point.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
It's making a choice because you have an end goal.
Okay, basically.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Yeah, so wherever you're at in your relationship,
this is where.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
I thought you were going to no, because your phone
is the one that we're recordingon.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
You are on it tonight , you are just wow.
Here's my phone no we don'thave to look up the actual
definition of it.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I feel like we pretty much do.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Okay, then we are here, we are I said this is what
we're at tonight.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
I said what my definition of intentional is.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Okay, and so what?
You want me to read this one.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Because that's what we did in our planning meeting.
I'm a teacher, so what we do inour planning meeting is what we
do in real life.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Wow, we're sticking to the plan.
Okay.
Intentional means done withpurpose design or on purpose.
Okay, intentional means donewith purpose design or on
purpose.
It's simple and consciouseffort to achieve specific
outcome.
Synonymous includes deliberate,willful and purposeful Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
So are we good?
Yeah, I'm good.
Okay, One of the words that yousaid was simple.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Is being intentional, simple, in a blended family.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
In our experience, I think relationships, in essence,
I think healthy relationshipsare simple, like the way to
achieve them are okay.
Not the way to achieve them issimple.
The things you need to do toachieve a healthy relationship.
(09:36):
They're simple steps.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
They should be yeah it's just there.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
It's when you add all the other things on top of it
that make it complicated, yeah.
It's when you add all the otherthings on top of it that make
it complicated?
Yeah, and it makes it.
And then, just when you addlayer upon layer upon layer, it
just gets more.
It's hard, yeah, but in thesimplicity of it, and that's
what we want to try to do isbreak things down to the most
(10:00):
simple form and say, okay, let'sstart here and build off of
that.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Okay, no-transcript Right.
But for me on my side, it feltkind of not easy, but it felt
(10:25):
natural to be intentional whenwe decided to date.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
What do you mean?
Unpack that for me.
What do you mean?
When we started dating, itseemed intentional, seemed easy
for you.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
In previous podcasts we talked about what we were
looking for and then also whatwe didn't know we were looking
for.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Yeah, I actually understand what you're saying
when you talk aboutintentionality.
When we first got together,being intentional with mine and
your time together was kind ofnatural With our time.
Like you were a single mom, Iwas a single dad.
Being intentional with what wedid with them was kind of
natural for us.
But when we combined all thattogether it's a different story.
(11:17):
So we had to take it up to adifferent level with that
intentional?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah, and so, to reflect what you said, you and I
, when we decided to gettogether, it was easy to make
sure that you and I wereintentional about talking and
spending time together.
Then, when we were together asa whole family, all six of us,
that was obviously easy to do.
It was like we were being veryintentional.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Well, it was intentional for you and I.
I think the intentionality for,like, when our family was
together.
We had Callie and Cody forseven days.
Yes, they were with their momfor seven days, and then Aaron
and Thomas were with us all thetime.
Yes, so it was kind of like wehad to be intentional when
Callie and Cody were with us,because you get in for half the
(12:05):
month just right off the get-goand then even in that half month
, there's times where they'relike, hey, friend's having a
sleepover, they're having abirthday party, they're having
something that's going on.
So you have to plan aroundthose things of activities we
want to do as a family together.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Yeah, because we got Callie and Cody for half the
time.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
We had to be really aware of that because it was
kind of easy to kind of getcaught up in life and just the
busyness of when you have sportsand there's the regular routine
and this and that, and thenwhen they would have, you know,
every now and again Callie orCody would have a spend the
(12:50):
night party or a birthday partywhere it was on, like, quote
unquote, our weekend where wehad some plans or this or that.
So it just made us even likewhat you already said, that we
were aware of that but we had tobe even more like kind of
vigilant of making sure that thetime that we all had together
or the time that we had withthem was even more, not
(13:15):
necessarily it was more targeted.
Yeah, targeted, that's a goodword.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Yeah, I think the whole turning point for us
though kind of the crux of themoment for us, where it all
turned, is that it was oneweekend when we had Callie and
Cody.
Nani, which is Thomas andGrace's grandmother wanted to
spend time with them, so shetook them and they were going to
spend some time together, andwe were going to take Callie and
(13:47):
Cody and go out and just have anight and just have some fun.
And so we're at Target.
I don't know why we're atTarget with Callie and Cody, and
just happened to be that Naniwas at Target with Thomas and
Grace and they saw us, we justran into them.
Yeah, and they were just like ohmy gosh, there y'all are, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
And they came over and theystarted talking.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
And this was early on because Erin Grace was little
and when she saw us she kind ofgot emotional and was like I
want to go with mom and dad.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Well, it was really kind of one of those moments
where Callie kind of and Calliedidn't do this a whole lot, she
was very, very reserved.
So Callie got very emotionaland started crying.
I was like what's wrong?
And Callie would never justoutright just say what was
bothering her.
It was rare you had to mind forthat.
So we started asking somequestions and kind of found out
(14:35):
Callie was like it just doesn'tseem fair that they're with you
all the time and we only get youhalf the time.
And then this was our time forus to be with you.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
And then, therefore, now that's not even going to
happen If Aaron Grace wants tocome home, because blah, blah,
blah, thomas will come home, andthen it won't be me and Cody.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Yeah.
So it was an easy decision.
That night I said, okay, yeah,you guys go with Nani, we're
going to keep doing our thing,have fun.
And the night turned out Well.
It wasn't an easy decision.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
It was like a.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Well, it was an easy decision.
That's what we needed to do.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Because of that realization, that moment.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Right.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
But, and that had never been presented to us yet
at that point.
In that way, well, it's justyour perspective of that changes
.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Like you get to see things from Callie or Cody's
point of view versus the otherkids, and so when I say it was
easy, it was like no, this is adecision we need to make.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
And so we made that decision.
Well, that was kind of aturning point for us to have a
discussion about how we spendtime with our kids and to, even
more intentional, about what wedo with them, how we do it, what
that looks like and how we are,and so and it was a good
reflection too of what wethought looked intentional
(15:57):
versus what it felt like on thereceiving end of the kids.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah, Because they were still really young at that
point.
Versus what it felt like on thereceiving end of the kids.
Yeah, because what you— Becausethey were still really young at
that point.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Well, what you think it is is probably different from
what they think it is.
And so it's that wholecommunication thing of
continuing that conversationwith them.
So we were on a weekend away.
I think Gallen and Cody werewith their mom, Thomas and Erin
Grace were with Nani, and so wewent away for the weekend and we
were just thinking theconversation came up.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
It was a good reflection point of what had
just recently happened.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Kind of how cool would it be if we had time away
with one of our kids?
What if one of our kids washere and we got to spend just
time with them?
And so then we just startedtalking and brainstorming and so
the idea came up with okay,let's set aside a time where our
kids can have three to fourdays of our undivided attention.
(16:50):
We do whatever they want to do,wherever they want to do it.
Whatever that is, we're goingto give them that time.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
So I kind of thought about okay, what's a big
milestone for a kid?
And it was a Sweet 16, becausethere's always well
traditionally, there's aquote-unquote always a party for
a Sweet 16 or a quinceanera orsomething like that.
And so I was like, okay, whatabout for our kids?
So what if we do a Sweet 16getaway with just that one kid
(17:20):
and us?
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Yeah, and so the idea was is like you have three to
four days and within reason,we'll do whatever it is you want
to do.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
So when we first brought up this idea, talking
about it with the kids, Codysaid you know, can we go to
Japan?
Yeah, he immediately went.
Immediately, Like international, Like yeah, let's go to Japan.
Yeah, he immediately went.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Immediately Like international, Like yeah, let's
go to Japan, and I was like whoa, okay, wait a minute.
Hang on.
Thank you.
We've got to put somerestrictions on this, so it was
like anywhere in the continentalUS we will go, because we
didn't I mean we weren't, wedidn't have a whole lot of money
then either Like we're justtrying to bootstrap this
together and make it work.
And so I don't even know how wewere going to pay for these
(18:03):
trips.
We're like, how's this going towork?
But we said, okay, 16thbirthday, anyone in the
continental US, you get three tofour days of our time and we're
going to do whatever you wantto do, and so that set it off.
Callie was the very first oneto kick off the celebration and
she was like I want to go to NewYork and so we were like okay,
(18:25):
yeah, great idea yeah we're likethat sounds like an amazing.
And Callie is a January baby,and so we're like, okay, we'll
go in January.
And so we planned the trip.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
We tried to plan it so it would be around Christmas
time.
So, everything would still bedecorated and all, but in that
investigation.
You know it just.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Financially it was just not doable.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
We're a big family.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
We had to figure it out, yeah we're like, yeah, we
can't go and Christmas will goat your birthday and so I love
planning the trip.
So I asked her, what do youwant to do?
And she was like I want to goto see a movie on Broadway.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Not a movie, a show, A show yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Sorry, not a movie show, thank you, I want to go to
Central Park and then shewanted to eat at this place
where they had the frozen hotchocolate.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
It's called Serendipity.
Yes.
And so we're like okay, that'sit.
She's like, yeah, that's all.
She had very touristy ideas,yes.
And she's like I want to go seethese things and we're like,
okay, cool.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
And so I used to travel a lot for work and I had
this idea.
I was like cool, I'll do the, Iwant to have some, I'll rent a
car that some guy's holdingCallie's name when she gets off.
And so they're like, oh, calliePeck, that's awesome.
So I reached out to thiscompany and told them hey, this
is what we're doing, we'recelebrating a birthday.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Your actual name is Gregory Peck.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Gregory Peck.
Yes, and I don't know if youknow, but Gregory Peck was a
famous old school actor, so Imade sure to use my full name
when making reservations at anyof the restaurants or any of the
things in New York.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
It was a handful of times.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Yeah, there were a few times where people were like
, oh, Gregory Peck.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Oh no, it's me.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Yeah.
But we get to the airport andthere's a guy holding a sign
Cali and Cali.
I was like, oh my gosh, that'sour car.
And I was like, oh my gosh,that's our car.
And I was like, yeah, that'sour car.
So we were walking to the carand I had gotten us just a
little town car, Just a regulartown car yeah just a four-door
little sedan, like black sedans.
Cool.
We get there and there's thismassive stretch limo like
massive stretch limo.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
And we get in the back and there's like— I
immediately look at you.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
There's bubbly stuff everywhere Like like hey, here's
some sparkling like grape juiceand some other, and I was just
like oh my God, I look at youand I'm like what did you do?
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Yeah, so I was thinking, I knew what the budget
was and I knew what we hadalready reserved.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Yeah, so I was like there's no way I can afford this
.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I must have up-charred that it was good.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
So we rode and we got a little boutique hotel down
maybe a block and a half.
What was the name of the—do youremember the name?
Speaker 2 (21:11):
of the— the.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Warwick, the Warwick Amazing place.
I don't know if it's still athing.
It is A lot of years ago Ifyou're Warwick.
The Warwick was an amazingboutique hotel there, a couple
blocks from.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Central Park.
We give a five-star rating withour whole experience.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
We get there the guy drops us off, and I was just
like, okay, well, we're notgoing to be able to eat or do
anything because I just bought alimo.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Do any of our plans work?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Yeah, and so the guy was just like.
I was like hey, did I orderthis or was this a mistake?
And he's like no, we saw thatit was her 16th birthday, so we
upgraded you free of charge.
We just wanted to do that foryou, so I tipped the guy really
well, yeah, I was super excitedabout that.
And then we go into the hoteland they're just like oh hey,
callie, we're so excited to seeyou celebrate your 16th birthday
(21:55):
with us.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
We decided to upgrade you to this which upgrade you
to this, which, thankfully, youhad emailed them ahead of time.
I did being the good daddy thatyou are, I'd be like, hey,
we're coming up here for ourdaughter's 16th.
Yeah, looking for things to do,yes.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Help make the reservations, so they upgraded
us into this massive two-bedroomhotel Like one side was like a
living room, tables, everything.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
And then we had a whole living room, dining room,
kitchenette, and then a wholeseparate bedroom area with our
two queen beds that we hadrequested.
That's all we wanted.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
And it was a whole situation.
So, anyway, we're just like ohmy gosh.
Well then they sent up thisplate of chocolate-covered
strawberries that had happybirthday, sweet 16th.
Happy 16th, Call Cali orwhatever it was, and it was just
like, oh my gosh, we went andsaw Wicked, we went and ate at
(22:51):
the Tavern on the Green we didwhich was amazing.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
We had an amazing time the Italian restaurant that
we ate at before our show.
That was just beyond Phenomenal.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
But it also snowed like a massive, massive
snowstorm.
It was the second largestsnowstorm in New York history.
History yeah.
Shut down the city it senteverybody home.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
It even shut down public transportation, which is
the second time ever that that'sever happened.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
It was kind of crazy because we were like we're on
Fifth Avenue and we're liketaking selfies in the middle of
the street and there's no onethere, no cars.
It's like a ghost town.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
We had bought tickets to some public events like the
One World Tower and a coupleother things that we had, thank
goodness, got refunded for.
But there was all these bigplans, yeah, and you know it
didn't matter, because allCallie knew was yeah just snow,
so we had.
That we were there for her.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yeah, it could have been bad, but it turned out to
be an amazing, fun, fun time.
We got to leave on time, we gotto come home Tons of Barely.
Yeah, tons of snow, tons of funstuff.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Well, including one of the walks in Central Park,
because it was so close to ourhotel that you had gotten us.
One of the times we werewalking in Central Park I was
trying to be all cute and, likeyou know, social media cute and
write Happy, sweet 16th or Cali16th or whatever, in the snow
(24:26):
bank that were as tall as wewere and we don't know how to
dress for snow because we justdon't have that here and my
boots didn't have a grip at all,and so when I was leaning
forward to write that in there,I got about halfway through and
my whole self fell into the snowbank.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Yeah, which was very entertaining for Callie and I to
just see Jess's feet stickingout of the snow Only my feet and
we, I mean we laughed for alittle bit.
I don't know that we took apicture, but before we helped
her out.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
There is a picture of what I was trying to write.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
But I don't know if there was a picture of me,
because y'all were kind enoughto get me out of it.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
So it was a ton of fun.
We had a blast, so we're likealright, there's one kid down.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Next year rolls around.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Literally the next year.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
The next year it was Thomas and Thomas was like I
don't care where we go, I don'tcare, I just want it to be fun
adventure.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
And I was like what do you mean Outside adventure?
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Yeah, and I was like, okay, got you, boo, I got it.
We're going to do what we do.
And so we went to Asheville,north Carolina, and we went
ziplining on some of the largestziplines I could find, which
was fun for me because I used tobuild zip lines and so it was
really fun to go find some onesthat I really liked and wanted
to go ride.
So we did zip lines outside ofAsheville.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Mind you, at that point I had never ridden a zip
line in my life.
And then you had Thomas.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Yeah, and these weren't like little bitty.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
It was.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Navitats zip lines outside of Asheville, which they
do, a phenomenal job they'relike the longest in the
southeast.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Well, they were at that time, at that point they
were there, it was prettyamazing, but this was years and
years ago.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
They did a great job.
We had a blast.
We stayed in a little coolboutique hotel in Asheville.
We ate, and then we wentmountain biking the next day on
some ridiculous mountain biketrails.
I tried so hard to keep up withyou guys.
Yeah, and so we were mountainbiking.
At the time, thomas was on amountain bike team and.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
I was a coach and so we had, we rode a lot, yeah, and
I that that particular day Itried to keep up with you guys
and I went just a what I wouldhave felt like was a quarter way
.
I kept up with y'all and thenthere was a sign that said
triple black diamond and I waslike you know what I'm going to
turn around, because that meansit's really, really hard, and I
(26:48):
just went back to our truck andI just was reading until you got
back there and I was thankfulthat you all got back safe.
We did and in one piece but likeyou had like some rib injuries
from the handlebars.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yeah, I went off and the handlebar went in the rib
and Thomas and I got separated.
We had a—I mean—.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
It was a whole thing.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
It was fun, but it was rough.
That was so tough.
And then the next—we load up inthe car and the next day we go
whitewater rafting on the Coeyand Jess wasn't a big whitewater
rafter.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Thomas had never been .
No, I was scared out of my mind.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
And so we went whitewater rafting, had a blast,
and then Thomas went to end inAtlanta.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yeah, but in the meantime one of these places,
when I was trying to helpnavigate and then find a place
to stay, there was one placethat was not that great.
Yeah, most of the places wereawesome there was one place that
was not that great.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Yeah, most of the places were awesome.
There was one that was sketch.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
It was sketch, it was laying on top of the and
because they were gentlemen,they would let me go ahead to
shower and clean up and all thethings, and I was like you know
what?
This is scary.
And it feels a little unsafe,and not because I was not
outside the room or whatever,but it was just like one of
those places where, like, do Ineed flip-flops or do I not need
(28:07):
flip-flops, whatever?
But anyway, there were somebumps in the road.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Yes, definitely, but it was a fun trip.
But then we left fromWhitewater Rafting and drove to
downtown Atlanta because therewere some things Thomas wanted
to do in downtown Atlanta and sowe did some adventures there.
We did and had a blast, but Iwill say this His trip at the
end of his trip I felt like wehad been.
I had been beat up Like I wasexhausted, like I was so tired
(28:36):
Physically, I was like I'm done,like I.
I mean, I was like I love youand we've had a blast.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
But bro, this was a lot.
Yeah, I am, I need a nap, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
So we had so much fun , I had a blast.
Then it was up to Cody.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
And Cody was like I want to go to California.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
And so we're like okay, cool, we're off to
California.
I was like what do we want todo in California?
He's like Cody loved theskimboard and he's like I don't
know, I just want to go up thecoast and he was fascinated with
surfing up the coast and he wasfascinated with surfing.
Yeah, he said, I want to see, Iwant to see.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I want to see the West Coast, I want to see
California.
We're like done Well, and youhad also taught him that, like
skimboarding, what he wasfascinated in had originated on
the West Coast.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Well, there was a yeah on the on the South end,
down at Laguna Beach, yeah.
So we flew into LAX, we renteda car, we went down to Laguna
Beach and we found the surf shop, which was crazy enough that
the surf shop, the guy who ownedthe surf shop, was from the
beach.
Tabby Island, st Salmon's no,yeah, right outside of St
(29:42):
Salmon's he was from TabbyIsland and had moved out there
and I was just like, are youkidding me, like from Georgia,
and he's like, yeah, I was likebro, we had moved out there, and
I was just like are you kiddingme?
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Like from Georgia?
And he's like yeah, I was likebro, we rented the skimboard for
that day.
Yeah, so we rented theskimboard from him.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
We went out and skimboarded and Cody was a
little gun shy because the onein the beach was different.
It was completely differentfrom everything else he had ever
known.
Yeah, it's very very cold andthe waves were breaking maybe
five feet off the shore.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
Up your nose.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Yeah, like big shore breaks Right there, yeah.
And he was just like andthere's these little kids that
are like maybe seven, that arejust ripping it.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
And Cody's like I'm 16.
I don't want to look like anidiot in front of these guys.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
But anyway, I think he got a ride or two in.
We're like okay, cool, let'scarry it back.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Yeah and so we, um, we rode quite a bit at the pch,
the pacific.
Yeah, we dropped the board offand just started driving up just
magnificent I mean even fromthe scene, like we said hey, you
have free reign over thesethree to four days.
So we told him, I was like hey,you, you've got the music, you
got the playlist while we driveyeah, you, you, man, the man,
the music and I was like we'rejust driving.
I was like the.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
The most fun thing is , though, even though they had
the big idea of where theywanted to go, and a lot of them
had a you know, a few specificthings that they were looking
at- right and what they wereafter.
But in general it was up to youand I.
Yeah, plan, but also that goesback to that word.
(31:13):
We keep saying over and overagain that being intentional, to
make sure we plan that timewith that child to speak to what
those, those needs were and orthose wants and desires were so
my job was to plan the overalltrip.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Yes, um the big things your job was to, while
the overall trip yes, the bigthing your job was to, while
we're driving, find us a placewe're going to stay that night,
yeah, and sometimes I wassuccessful and sometimes I was
just not.
Sometimes it's going to miss.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Like the one with Thomas and the one we were, the
hotel was we were a littlescared of.
Yeah, we had some good ones inCalifornia, yeah, but for Cody,
when we weren't quite sure whatwe were doing me mainly we
looked up on one of the ones,well, one night.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
We're just jamming.
I mean we are jamming, having abig time.
We got the windows down, cody'sgot the music cranked.
We're driving through themountains, it's dark, it's the
middle of the night.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
It's probably like 8.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
I have no idea where.
I'm at Literally nothing, justup the Pacific Coast Highway
Just motoring and all of asudden I look up and there's
blue lights and I was like, areyou kidding me?
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Yeah, Blue lights, yeah, pull over.
We were going so fast.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
I was like that's actually a great question.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
We 100% don't know, and I remember you turning your
phone to him.
He was like you're not fromhere, are you?
Yeah, I showed him the rentalagreement.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
He goes you're not from here.
I was like absolutely not.
And he goes, all right, andwe're standing there and he goes
license.
And so I'm giving him, I'mtrying to get all the
information to give the cop.
So I give it to the cop andhe's reading it and he's looking
at it.
We're having a conversation.
He's very nice and I'm justlike.
(32:56):
You know what?
It's a ticket.
So he's writing the ticket andhe goes.
You know what?
I'm going to give you a warning.
And I was like thank you so he'swriting the ticket and this
dude just motors through this.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
It was a four-way stop Motors through the four-way
stop.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
He literally takes the ticket, throws it in the
window and is like have a goodnight, Never mind have a good
night Runs back, jumps on hisbike and takes off.
After this guy I was like, well, that worked out, Okay, great.
And so I think Cody actuallykept that ticket in his memories
.
But we went into this placecalled Morro Bay.
(33:31):
Yeah, we had no idea it wasdark.
We get into there.
It was this little cool hoteland it was just the next—we wake
up the next morning.
It was just really—the peoplewere super sweet that we rented
the place from.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Left us in a lock—our key in a lock box.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
and this whole thing Sweet notes to us, yeah, but we
get out the next morning and Iwas like where are we?
Speaker 2 (33:53):
at.
It was a magical wonderland.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
It was beautiful, like the mountains just were
dumping into the ocean.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
And the bay where we were in had these giant rock
formations in the middle.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
It just shot out of the water.
It was the most beautiful, coolthing and we're like, okay,
well, let's go find breakfast.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
And so we start wandering down through the town
and lucky Cody is a hugeskateboarder.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Loves skateboarding.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
There was a skateboard museum there, so the
skateboard museum was like dude,that's where we're going after
breakfast.
So we go down and we sit atthis incredibly beautiful
restaurant where the three of uskept saying is this real life?
Yeah, we're sitting out there.
It's like the sun's, I mean,it's coming up.
It's beautiful.
There's rocks, big old rocks,the ocean.
(34:38):
We're right on the side of theocean.
Food was amazing.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
They even had a little heater that came out
underneath your feet.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
So I wasn't freezing to death.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
And I was just like, okay, this is pretty phenomenal.
And then we went to theSkateboard Museum and then
ultimately we wound up in SantaCruz.
The whole idea for Cody was wewere going to end in Santa Cruz
because he was a huge skateboardguy and we came to the Santa
Cruz Board Shop If you're askateboarder you know that's
super cool.
It's like a mecca.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
It's one of those like, if you know, you know,
yeah, it's just the place youwant to be.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
And so we went to Santa Cruz.
We did a stir.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
And that was a super cool like half-a-day experience.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
And so we went to the board shop and then we did surf
lessons.
So we did a surfing Cody and Isurfed at Santa Cruz, while Jess
sat on the beach and froze todeath.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
I did.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
We had a blast.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
It was so much fun Watching these five-year-olds
frolic in the frigid water withtheir bathing suits on.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
I was freezing, so we hung out in Santa Cruz and had
a blast.
We jumped in, we come home.
We made LAX in the middle ofthe night.
We slept all the way homebecause we were exhausted.
Amazing trip, fun, fell in love.
I'd move back to Santa Cruztomorrow if I could.
It was beautiful.
I couldn't afford it.
And then the fourth one we wentback to New York and Grace was
(35:56):
like I want to go back to NewYork, it's so fun that the
bookend trips were New York,because they were so different.
Yes, very different.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Yeah, erin Grace had these specific boutiques and
these specific stops that shewanted to make, like Callie did.
But they were very verydifferent, but the commonality
was they wanted to go see a showon Broadway.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
But the best part is that, since we knew the place
where we took Callie girl forher dinner before Broadway, we
took Erin Grace for her dinnerbefore her Broadway show, and
she was equally impressed.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
Yeah, same place.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Yes.
Amazing People are amazingthere, and it was literally on
Erin Grace's birthday, and itwas so cute because the staff
knew that it was her birthdayand they obviously didn't know
her name.
So when they sang happybirthday to her, they said happy
birthday, total stranger.
And it was such a good memory.
We went to Phantom of the Operathat night we did, and it was
the final year of the showingand we got to see some touristy
(36:57):
sites that Erin Grace had on herlist, that Callie did not have
on her list.
It was just so fun.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Well, we went to the One Tower.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
We did go to the One Tower when we tried to go.
One World Trade.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Yes tower.
We didn't go to the one towerum where we tried to go trade
yes, and we went to the museum,the 9-11 museum.
We tried to do that with callie, but this got snowed out yeah,
when we went with aaron.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Phenomenal at that amazing and I feel like that was
kind of a god moment too,because at that point when
callie was going, it was justobviously because of what had
happened to our country and just, you know, honor and memoriam
too.
But when Aaron Grace was going,Thomas, our oldest son, had
already started on hisfirefighter journey and so
(37:42):
seeing that then was very itjust brought it to life of what
one of our kids had chosen to dofor his own career.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Yeah.
It was just a whole differentexperience of what it would have
been four years prior.
You got to go see those thingsyou do.
I mean go to the South End, goto the park, you can look at
Statue of Liberty down there.
All those things are amazing.
The One Tower was justphenomenal.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
It was.
It's life was just phenomenal.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
It was it's life-changing Such a cool
experience we went to—she wantedramen noodles from Chinatown,
so we rode the subway toChinatown got ramen noodles.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
One of the things on her list at that point in her
life was a specific boutique,and so as we went from Chinatown
to get the for-real ramen andwe went to the boutique and you
were waiting outside.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
Yeah, I wasn't about to go into the boutique because
I was boutiqued out.
That's what Erin wanted to gointo every clothing.
I was like I love you, sweetie,but I'm going to wait outside.
Well, I'm out there eatingthese noodles and I guess I look
like a local because I waswrapped up and this couple came
up and they're just like hey,where's so-and-so?
I had no freaking idea whatthey were talking about.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
And then, what did you pretend like?
Speaker 1 (38:54):
I gave my best New York accent.
That I thought.
I mean, I'm from Georgia, so Itried to do my best New York
accent and I was just like oh,you go down here about two
streets, take a right and thenyou take your first left.
It's right there on the rightand they're just like oh, thank
you so much Thank you so much.
I was like you guys have a greatday Just eating my noodles.
I had no idea.
(39:14):
Bless For you couple.
I'm sorry.
It was fun but it was a lot.
But anyway, we did Subway.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
We did all the things we had so much fun.
Well, at that point we kind oftoyed with the idea of like,
what if we do a trip when theyturn 21?
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Yeah, but it yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
But our oldest two got married when they were 21.
So it was like okay, thatchanges things yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
It was when we came home with Aaron.
It was a week later wheneverything shut down in New York
For COVID For.
Covid, and it was likeeverything hit from that.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
So everything changed .
It was literally the same week.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Yeah, hit from that, so everything changed the same
week.
Yeah, it was like, yeah, likeseven days later.
So it was crazy, yeah, crazytime.
But what's we say?
That to say?
I mean, those are our fun, funtrips we did yes but we also had
very, very intentional smallthings we did with our kids on a
uh like a weekly basis thatweren't huge, that weren't
massive.
You don't have to spend becauseI know you're probably out
there going, bro.
I'm not spending money to go toNew York or California.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
I mean, there were some stories that we talked
about that we haven't eventalked about now during the
recording of, like, I had girls'days with the girls where we
would go and get our nails doneand we would go shopping and
things like that on a regularbasis.
That I would just do for Girls'Day, and you had Boys' Days and
guys' time.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
And Boys' Days, we would either go fishing and then
we would go eat some reallytrashy food that the girls would
never eat like crystals orsomewhere that the girls just
were like, eh, that's gross.
So we were like, yeah, we'regoing to go eat there.
Our first trip to crystals,corey Anderson was with us.
We went fishing, went toCrystal, and Thomas starts
(40:53):
crying.
Bless his heart.
He hates this story and Corey'slike why are you crying?
He goes, my mom never lets meeat crystals.
And Corey's like just shut upand eat that.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Corey was not.
He was younger.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
They needed to have kids, yeah but I mean, I feel
like you probably backed him upon that.
And so it was funny, I had beena single mama for a long time
and I thought Crystal was gross.
So of course I'm not going totake him to Crystal.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
And so.
But guys' days consisted of myfamily had a lot of land, so
sometimes we'd just go shootskeet, yeah, just go hang out,
like we would go do just fun guythings, anything sound fun.
Sometimes we'd go to just youknow, just any kind of thing
that sounded fun as guys.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Yeah, same thing for us when I had the girls, just me
and Aaron, and sometimes it wassimple things.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
Like we were in the backyard.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
And the boys would just hang out while you ladies
went and done something simple.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
So it's not about We'd go shopping or go get our
nails done.
It's not about a big thing, no.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
We did our 16th trips because we wanted those to be
something big and memorable.
But the idea is beingintentional with every single
moment you have, whether that'son a daily basis, on a weekly
basis, not just when they turn16.
Don't wait for that one moment.
There's tons of moments.
You get to embrace those andhave those times, yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
So to kind of bring us to the unpack portion of this
, we've had a great timeretelling our stories, because
they are fun.
But the intentionality behindthe stories is what makes them
so memorable for us and the kids, because all four of them still
talk about this many yearslater.
They still talk about theirtrips because it was just them,
(42:34):
and they all four still talkabout even just a regular quote,
unquote everyday things that wewould do with them, like
crystal or swimming or fishing,or when I would take the girls
to go get our nails done or goshopping or whatever.
It's not just like one morething to do on your list of
(42:56):
things to do, because if you'rein the thick of a blended family
, like we were at that point,it's more than just one more
thing to do.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
Right.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
Would you agree with that?
Speaker 1 (43:09):
It's the thing to do, right?
Would you agree with that?
It's the thing to do?
I don't mean it to be that andone of those ways.
I watched a TikTok the otherday and it's so interesting, but
it just hit me right where Iwas at it was a lady speaking
and it was like I can't waittill my kids can bathe
themselves.
I can't wait till they move out.
(43:30):
I can't wait till they do this.
I can't wait till my kids canbathe themselves.
I can't wait till they move out.
I can't wait till they do this.
I can't wait till they do that.
And it showed her with heradult kids and she was basically
like don't be happy whereyou're at, in the moment you're
at.
Don't wish for the happiness tocome.
Be happy where you're at.
And I think that's theintentionality behind it is like
(43:50):
you get to decide.
You get to make those decisions.
You get to be targeted for theoutcomes with your kids.
Enjoy them, whether it's you'reat a ball field, whether you're
at a cheer competition, whetheryou're traveling, whether
you're not, whether you're just.
You get to spend some timebeing intentional about how
you're spending your time.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
um, and who you're spending it with, because people
say it all the time but youdon't realize it till after the
fact.
So I don't mean to join thechoir of the people who say, oh,
you just don't realize whatyou've got till, it's gone, but
it's so true it is so, so true,because I know you and I both
have talked about it multipletimes like we feel like we did
(44:31):
the best we could and we enjoyedit the best we could when our
kids were little.
But it's kind of like would Ilike to go back and do it again
to make sure that we enjoyedevery single second.
Well, yeah, I would, but I feelpretty confident.
Not in a boastful way, I don'tmean to sound like ugly when I
(44:52):
say that, but I feel like wetried really, really hard.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
We did.
We didn't make it all, but Imean we did the best we could.
Speaker 2 (44:59):
We did.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Anything else to add?
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Mainly just kind of like what we've been talking
about this evening.
It's like it's not that youknow it, it's the one-on-one
foundations, or their one-on-oneattention to um little things.
That sets the foundation forlike kind of everything and that
(45:24):
feels like a big statement tosay.
But like our grown kids who arein their mid-20s now, it's wild
to say they.
I feel like they would kind ofagree with that.
Like, as hard as we tried tomake sure everything was equal
or, you know, blended as best aswe could, there's those little
(45:46):
bitty things that we made sureto kind of point out or support.
There are the big pieces of whothey are as people.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
Now, so wrapping it up, thank you guys.
So much for listening.
If you haven't like subscribeto our podcast, please do so.
We're just doing this for thefun of it.
We're just trying to spread theword.
Thank you for sharing, thankyou for listening.
We finally got someoneinternationally listening too
(46:16):
Australia.
So, yeah, we jumped the pond,which is kind of fun.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
Who do we know in Australia that listen to us?
Can you please message us,because I'm fascinated by that.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
And so I would just love to say, and all of that
saying, thank you so much forfollowing us.
I want to hear your stories.
I want to hear somethingintentional you've done with
your kids that you felt like wasa home run that mattered.
Go to our social media.
You can find us on Facebook,instagram.
All those good things.
Go there, share your story,because I want to hear it, we
(46:51):
would love to hear it, and otherpeople too would love to have
some ideas, some things they canhelp build, some intentional,
fun ideas around, whereverthey're at.
So please share.
Thank you for liking, thank youfor subscribing.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
Yes, thank you.
Speaker 1 (47:04):
And we'll catch you guys in the next one.
Thank you.
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