November 4, 2025 • 47 mins
What if ten quiet minutes could change the way you love people? We take a lively room—family, friends, and a few outrageous would-you-rathers—and channel that energy into a candid look at solitude, self-talk, and the hidden ways our inner voice shapes every relationship we touch.
We return to a recent challenge and admit the truth: naming one thing we liked about ourselves was surprisingly hard. That sparks a deeper exploration of why many of us default to negative loops, how encouragement for others comes fast while self-kindness stalls, and what it takes to “finish” a recurring thought so it stops running your day. Along the way, we share a sticky-note exercise that proves specific praise is powerful, a perspective on coping versus thriving, and personal practices that make quiet time actually useful—not just silent.
From classroom leadership moments to counseling breakthroughs, we connect solitude to practical relationship skills: showing up calm, communicating clearly, and choosing the silver lining without denying reality. You’ll learn how to set a simple rhythm—ten minutes of silence, two sincere messages of encouragement—to retrain your attention and rebuild trust, at home and at work. Small daily shifts compound into big relational dividends. Ready to try it this week and see what changes?
If this resonated, tap follow, share it with a friend who needs the nudge, and leave a quick review. Tell us: who are your two encouragement texts going to today?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_05 (00:00):
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm Greg.
I hope you guys are ready tounpack and get into some good
conversations today.
SPEAKER_00 (00:07):
And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast, Baggage
Claim.
Thank you for joining us.
SPEAKER_05 (00:17):
What's up, Baggage Claim?
How's everybody doing tonight?
If your first time here, thankyou so much for joining us.
If you're a regular uh toBaggage Claim, thank you for
coming back.
Um Baggage Claim is a placewhere we have conversations and
community around relationships,around marriage, around just
(00:38):
self.
Um and so wherever you're at,whatever you're doing, uh grab
your favorite drink, whateverthat is, and pull up to the
table with us and just have somegood discussion.
That's right.
SPEAKER_01 (00:50):
You know what's good about today already?
SPEAKER_05 (00:52):
Ooh, what is good about today already?
SPEAKER_01 (00:54):
I did not laugh at the clap.
SPEAKER_06 (00:56):
I'm so proud of you.
Give me high five.
I feel like we've maybe turned acorner here.
We may have.
SPEAKER_05 (01:00):
I mean, we've got thirty, what is it, thirty-three
episodes in?
SPEAKER_01 (01:04):
Yeah.
When we originally started, wehad producer Michael, we had
producer Miranda.
Well, Miranda's ourdaughter-in-law.
And when baby Lucy was born,Miranda had to take a little uh
leave of absence.
And she's here today.
SPEAKER_06 (01:17):
And she did the clap for us.
SPEAKER_01 (01:18):
And I did not laugh.
So do you realize we're probablybombing influence in my heart?
SPEAKER_05 (01:24):
30 hours in.
Probably 30 plus hours.
That's insane.
And you just now stoppedlaughing with the glasses.
SPEAKER_01 (01:31):
That doesn't mean I'm gonna knock it out.
SPEAKER_06 (01:32):
Can we give a quick shout out that it's Miranda's
birthday?
It is.
We're celebrating Miranda'sbirthday.
SPEAKER_05 (01:37):
We are celebrating it tonight, but she was out of
town Saturday.
We're celebrating her birthdaytonight.
Which will be birthday.
Seven days later when this allcomes out.
Yes.
Yes.
Um, we do have an audience.
We have uh some actual pastguests of uh Thomas.
That's true.
It's got returned.
(01:57):
N AJ, Uncle AJ.
You're broke.
SPEAKER_01 (02:01):
Thomas, our son, who is married to the birthday girl.
Yeah.
Uncle AJ, who is like anhonorary son.
SPEAKER_05 (02:07):
Yes, he's one of our kids.
That's it.
Come on, buddy.
You're right.
He is just all went out todinner uh from Randy's birthday,
and now we're recording.
So uh it's been a fun nightalready.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
So we're um I mean we're justgonna jump in.
Like we just question time.
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (02:26):
Are we doing question time?
Greg almost.
I just got to go.
Greg's grandfather name is G,and so we and I'm JJ, so we nine
times out of ten, instead ofGreg, hey, whatever.
I'm like, D, this or that.
SPEAKER_06 (02:39):
I will say I completely dove into saying
question time, but do we havequestions?
You said you.
I don't know.
Do we have a question?
Do we have a question?
Hey, let's ask the audience.
I think AJ has oh, that one,that one might be that one might
be dangerous.
AJ raising his hand.
SPEAKER_05 (02:58):
All right.
All right, go ahead, AJ.
What's your question?
SPEAKER_01 (03:00):
Okay.
Question time.
SPEAKER_03 (03:02):
Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_01 (03:03):
Okay.
Would you rather No, come here,you gotta get on the mic.
Yeah, don't you?
SPEAKER_05 (03:08):
No, walk over here and get on the mic.
Don't get in front of the side.
SPEAKER_02 (03:11):
Would you rather go time?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (03:14):
It's okay.
SPEAKER_02 (03:15):
Would you rather sneeze every time you fart or
fart every time you sneeze?
SPEAKER_05 (03:21):
Sneeze every time you fart.
SPEAKER_02 (03:22):
That sounds like it's the double whammy of
awfulness every time.
SPEAKER_06 (03:27):
Well, I definitely sneeze more than I fart, so I
would say You do?
Oh, I definitely like with myallergies.
Bro, go to an allergist, man.
Get some medicine.
SPEAKER_01 (03:36):
I feel like that's a good one.
SPEAKER_06 (03:38):
Because like when you've got a question.
SPEAKER_01 (03:39):
We have to answer the question for the question.
SPEAKER_06 (03:41):
Because I feel like I would rather have to sneeze
whenever I fart.
That way I don't fart every timeI have to sneeze.
I enjoy sneezing more thanfarting.
I don't.
It's the reverse.
SPEAKER_05 (03:51):
I would rather.
Sneezing is like it starts in mytoes and it's a full-body
sneeze.
SPEAKER_01 (03:55):
You have a range of sneezes.
It's either like a oh bless you,or of are you okay?
I'm a violent sneezer.
SPEAKER_05 (04:02):
I'm very violent.
It's very loud, very violent.
But it's not like a release.
Like it hurts.
The problem is though when yousneeze, people go, bless you.
They're like, bless you.
When you fart, no one, everybodyuses think uh.
SPEAKER_01 (04:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (04:14):
Like they're looking to rate it.
SPEAKER_01 (04:16):
I don't like the word.
I'm a rater.
I'm a girl.
Oh my god, I was a solid passgas.
SPEAKER_05 (04:20):
You know what I mean?
Toot.
New pass gas.
Toot.
You got a question?
I do have a question.
Come on, AJ.
SPEAKER_01 (04:27):
I never answered that question because I'm not
sure.
SPEAKER_05 (04:29):
This is questions from the audience.
Like number two here.
Okay.
Hold on.
Is this a is this appropriatefor our audience?
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (04:36):
I thought of a new one.
I thought of a new one.
Okay.
SPEAKER_04 (04:38):
Just making sure.
Would you rather be able tonever use toilet paper again or
never use a fork and knifeagain?
SPEAKER_01 (04:45):
Never use a fork and never use a fork and knife
again.
SPEAKER_06 (04:47):
Hands down fork and knife.
SPEAKER_01 (04:48):
Fork and knife.
SPEAKER_04 (04:49):
What about a bidet?
SPEAKER_01 (04:51):
That's not a part of the question.
SPEAKER_04 (04:52):
You don't mind a baba do.
Boba do bobaet.
You gotta start using likedifferent theories, you know,
like could I use chopsticks?
Could I use a bidet?
Like other solutions.
Okay, so wait a minute.
SPEAKER_05 (05:05):
It's either no toilet paper or no silverware.
SPEAKER_04 (05:09):
Fork and knife.
You can use chopsticks.
SPEAKER_05 (05:11):
I will tell you this.
I was uh uh when I was I was inuh uh in Korea.
SPEAKER_01 (05:16):
What are you about to say?
SPEAKER_05 (05:17):
They have really, really nice debate debates, uh
debate debates.
SPEAKER_02 (05:21):
Bidets bidets, bidets, badays.
SPEAKER_05 (05:23):
Good gosh!
SPEAKER_02 (05:24):
What are we talking about, Greg?
SPEAKER_05 (05:25):
Sorry, this Marguerite is talking.
Yeah, but anyway, so it had likeum not only was it water, but it
had heat, air, massage like acar wash material.
Warm water?
Yeah, it was patterns nextlevel.
I can't.
It was amazing.
SPEAKER_04 (05:45):
So I might try one of those.
SPEAKER_05 (05:47):
It almost made me want to buy one.
SPEAKER_04 (05:48):
Um my old roommate had one.
I was sad when he moved out.
Yeah, I don't I don't it'sgreat.
Was it like heated?
Heated toilet seat, heatedwater, heated air.
SPEAKER_03 (05:59):
Oh, he said it was like a$500 banana.
SPEAKER_04 (06:01):
Yeah, it was it was good.
SPEAKER_03 (06:02):
The good one was.
So he's from California, soyeah.
Those are amazing.
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (06:06):
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (06:07):
I don't know what that means.
He's just bougie for OrangeCounty.
SPEAKER_01 (06:10):
I have a would you rather?
SPEAKER_05 (06:12):
All right, shoot, Jess, go for it.
How many questions are we doingin this three?
At least three.
This is the last one.
Would you hold on, it's forTatum.
Tatum, would you rather we gottado a question time?
SPEAKER_01 (06:22):
Do it right for Tatum.
For Tatum.
Question time.
SPEAKER_05 (06:26):
Tatum, would you rather shout out to Tatum?
Sneezer Fart.
SPEAKER_01 (06:29):
Would you?
No.
You'd probably rather would yourather be allergic to sunlight
or be allergic to your ownsweat.
SPEAKER_05 (06:38):
Ooh.
Sweat.
Because if I could be outside,that'd just be miserable for me.
SPEAKER_01 (06:45):
And my menopause is a era of life.
I sweat in my classroom.
SPEAKER_05 (06:52):
So I will say it's gotten colder here in Georgia,
where we're at.
And I've slept in six degreewith her.
Jess says she wakes up freezing,but I've literally slept in
night.
SPEAKER_01 (07:08):
I go to sleep freezing and then I sweat the
rest of the time.
I think I would rather beallergic to sunlight because
it's easier to be in the shade.
SPEAKER_06 (07:16):
I don't know.
I think I'd rather be allergicto my sweat.
And I sweat all the time.
Like I'm thinking like built inthe deck this last week, and
like I sweat like I don't knowsweat.
SPEAKER_01 (07:22):
I'm literally standing in the front of my
classroom teaching breathing.
SPEAKER_06 (07:26):
But I think I would rather be able to like go out to
the beach or go out to the lake.
SPEAKER_05 (07:30):
If you can't be in the sun, that just sucks.
SPEAKER_06 (07:32):
Yeah.
I think I'd rather choose to bein the sun.
So great question time.
All right.
SPEAKER_01 (07:38):
Well our audience is not engaged and we're going to
be able to do that.
That doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_05 (07:40):
They're over there talking about stupid crap.
So we talked about, we just hadone that posted uh when this
comes out, it'll be seven daysago.
Yeah.
Uh so it's called the SolitudeParadox.
Uh so the whole idea is thatyour relationships is a fancy
word.
Your relationships are betterwhen you spend time alone.
(08:01):
And which sounds kind of likeyou can manage your time alone.
Yeah.
And so we talked about thatidea, we threw it out there
about hey, being alone or insolitude makes the relationships
you're in better.
And so, but we never really wewe gave a couple of tips on
things to do.
Then we did the exercise.
Some challenges, yeah, someexercises like spend 10 minutes
(08:22):
alone uh this past week, like noradio, just in silence.
And then we said, say the onething that you love most about
yourself.
Um and we'll be pushing that onour social media this week or
last week was hey, tell ussomething you like about
yourself.
SPEAKER_01 (08:37):
Um So the three of us tried that challenge in our
own.
I say tried because I didn't dovery well.
SPEAKER_05 (08:45):
So we had yeah, we have a we have a little text
thread between the three of uscalled our bag exclaim crew.
And so we basically were like,okay, say one thing you like
about yourself each day.
Um and Michael and I were firingthem off.
And it was after day one, Jesswent, she ghosted us.
I did, she completely silenced.
So it's almost like I was sidetexting Jess, being like, hey,
(09:07):
you gotta chime in here.
SPEAKER_01 (09:08):
I was like, I don't like anything about myself
today.
SPEAKER_06 (09:10):
Like that was hard that once usually like day
three, it took me till the endof the day because like and I
would just think and think andthink.
And I'm like, I don't haveanything to say.
SPEAKER_01 (09:21):
Like we we've done been doing this for seven or
eight days at this point, andthere's only been like maybe
three days where I participated.
Not because I don't want to, butjust because that's that hard
for me to pick out something Ilike about myself.
SPEAKER_05 (09:34):
So why like and I texted in the group and we're
like, why is it this is sofreaking hard for us?
Like, why is it that we allowsociety, we allow everything in
our lives to talk about thenegative parts of us?
And we could all, because if wewent the next seven days and
said, tell me one thing you wantto change in your life, that's a
(09:56):
quick Yeah, it's a lot easier todo.
Yeah.
Why is that?
Like, why have we programmedourselves or why have we allowed
people to tell us all the thingswe need to change versus telling
us all the things that are good?
SPEAKER_06 (10:07):
Well, I don't think we take time to actually sit
back and think about the thingsthat we like about ourselves.
I mean, when's the last timethat you've ever had anybody
encourage you to do that?
Even just in society.
Like that's not a common thing.
SPEAKER_01 (10:19):
Well, I will say our principal at our staff meeting
today, she gave us each a stickynote after we had some pretty
heavy uh content that we hadalready gone over.
But she was like, We're notending on a negative note.
We've had a lot of heavy stuffwe've talked about.
So she gave all the sixtysomething of us a sticky note,
and she said, Write your name atthe top.
So we all did.
(10:40):
And she said, trade with someonearound you and then write
something that you like aboutthat person or an encouragement,
like a specific personal thing.
And we did that, but we alltraded around three times.
And she even brought up, she waslike, You see how easy it was
for you to pick out somethingthat was positive about
(11:00):
somebody.
Like I even had a somebody'sname who I don't know
personally, but I'm like, youhave the best laugh.
Like when you laugh, it fills upthe room.
And that's what I wrote on herpaper.
But I don't know her as afriend, but all of us, it was
like we were firing them off.
And she was just our principalsaid, Okay, okay, okay, we have
to like, you know, end this.
Y'all need to go home orwhatever.
(11:22):
But it was so easy for me topick out stuff I liked about
either my teammates on my gradelevel or like that person I
don't really teach with, I don'tteach with her at all.
She's a fourth grade teacher.
But that was so easy for me.
But then when I got my ownsticky note back, because that
was the end, they were like,whose ever sticky note you have
in your hand, take it to thatperson.
(11:43):
But then reading the commentsthat other people wrote about
me, I was like, Oh, wow, okay.
Like, but I can't pick out thosemany things about my own self.
SPEAKER_06 (11:51):
Why?
Why not?
I don't know.
Well, I mean, go back tosolitude, like the paradox, we
we don't spend timeintentionally with our own
thoughts.
SPEAKER_05 (12:01):
I I did it one time, I had a dry race marker, and I
would every morning I wouldwrite something on my mirror,
uh, just to encourage myself,and then I would write stuff on
my head.
SPEAKER_01 (12:09):
Yeah, after we got married, you brought me in on
that.
SPEAKER_05 (12:12):
Yeah, so I would we had the big mirrors in our in
our bathroom, and so I wouldwrite notes to Jess with a dry
race marker on a mirror, becauseyou can just wipe it off.
Yeah.
Um and then I would writethings, it would be three things
on my mirror I would write everyday that either I wanted to
accomplish or things I likedabout myself or just to
encourage myself.
SPEAKER_01 (12:30):
Encouraging your own self.
SPEAKER_05 (12:31):
Um and I know that sounds and some people think
that sounds silly, but the ideais even like selfish, but yeah,
but no one's everybody's tellingus what we need to change.
No one's really telling us, hey,you are amazing at this because
it feels so self-gratifying.
And so we've uh and I get theidea of like we want to be
(12:51):
better people, we want to be uhmoving forward, we want
progress.
Um so we always try to improvethose areas of our life where we
feel like we're not, I guess, upto where we want to be.
But sometimes we focus so muchon that that we forget what
we're really good at.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (13:06):
And that's there's been very few um spans of time
in my life where I have beenable to say positive things
about myself.
I and you know this.
I I read my own thoughts andabout myself personally in a
very negative filter.
SPEAKER_05 (13:24):
Which is in this is completely interesting to me
because you are the mostencouraging person I've ever
been around.
SPEAKER_06 (13:32):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_05 (13:32):
Like you literally encourage everyone around you,
like even me.
You you'll text me out of theblue and be like, I'm so proud
of you, I love you, I'm sograteful for you.
Like you're you encourage me somuch, but it's so interesting
because you take that into yourrelationship.
SPEAKER_01 (13:50):
Whether you are beating yourself up, but you you
carry that weight in thatrelationship, yeah, and then but
it's really easy for me toencourage others, yeah.
And to pick out like smallthings uh how to encourage other
people.
SPEAKER_06 (14:08):
Like for me, it's fulfilling to encourage others.
But yeah, like I loveencouraging others, absolutely.
But this week has made me thinklike why do I not ever do that
even on a small scale to myself?
SPEAKER_01 (14:21):
Why can't I not make my own heart happy?
SPEAKER_05 (14:24):
Because if we switch that if we switch that like our
challenge was say something youlike about yourself.
SPEAKER_01 (14:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (14:30):
If we challenge that and say, hey, say something you
love about somebody in yourlife.
SPEAKER_01 (14:34):
My gosh, that would be so easy if I were like our
three groups.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (14:39):
That would be crazy.
I could write a page tonight onthat.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:42):
Every day.
I could do that, hands down.
And it makes sense.
SPEAKER_06 (14:44):
But that's crazy to me.
And I know we've talked aboutthis before on the podcast, but
it it makes me go back like weget in our own echo chamber in
our own mind.
And that takes me back to thestatistic where it's the average
mindset of a person in America.
We have a 13 to 1 negativeratio.
We think 13 negative thoughtsabout ourselves to every one
positive thought.
(15:04):
So it's so much easier to lookat someone else.
SPEAKER_01 (15:19):
I don't even like to talk about myself, but like
today we had a team meeting formy grade level, and it was we've
had some changes happen withsome curriculum stuff.
And it's been hard, and it'sgoing to be hard for a little
while.
It's fine.
We're gonna meet the challenge.
But one of my teammates, my nextdoor neighbor on my hallway, she
(15:40):
was so complimentary of me,Dana, of course.
She was so complimentary of howI led that meeting, and my she
even said my countenance, thewords I chose, my tone of voice,
how I led our team through thatdifficult meeting to like help
(16:00):
us put our next foot forward andget a plan and who's doing what,
and this is what it's gonna looklike, and I'm gonna order this
and that and whatever.
Like there was a plan, and I wasjust like, No, I'm just trying
to keep our feet under usbecause this starts Monday and
it it's Tuesday today, you know,when we're recording.
So I was just trying to like,we're gonna stay above water,
(16:21):
we're not gonna drown, here'swhat we're doing.
Um but literally it was justlike a survival mode.
But after the meeting, shepulled me aside and she said,
You did such a good job leadingus just then.
She was like, the w your tone,your even your body language,
and it was just like on and onand on and on.
And I was just thinking, Wow, Iwould have never thought that
(16:43):
about my own self.
But why can I not think thatabout myself?
That's so it's frustrating in myown mind.
SPEAKER_05 (16:52):
Well, since we have a studio audience, um I would
love to involve them becauseit's usually just the three of
us in this room.
So I would love you guys, AJ,tell me uh two things you like
about yourself right now.
And here, you gotta come talk inthe mic.
Yeah, come over.
Set behind the camera.
Yeah, come over to you.
SPEAKER_01 (17:11):
So Henry thinking, Miranda.
SPEAKER_05 (17:13):
And uh behind the camera, put your eyes back in
your forehead, Miranda.
SPEAKER_01 (17:17):
Either way.
SPEAKER_04 (17:22):
I guess right now I really like my job and the job I
provided for myself.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (17:27):
You have worked really hard for your job.
SPEAKER_04 (17:30):
That's something I really like.
SPEAKER_01 (17:31):
Um see, like right now, okay.
You're having trouble thinkingof a second one.
I have I have three or fourlisted in my mind right now for
you.
SPEAKER_04 (17:46):
I just like what I really like myself is how I just
always know how to have a funtime.
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (17:51):
That's one of the ones on my list.
SPEAKER_04 (17:53):
No matter what, like every night this past week, I've
just found something to do tohave fun and enjoy my time and
enjoy the life I've been given.
So I've got it, yeah.
Thank you.
Perfect.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_05 (18:02):
I will tell you this when AJ shows up, I smile.
I immediately start smilingbecause I'm like, we're gonna
have fun.
Yeah, we're gonna have a goodtime.
For sure.
SPEAKER_06 (18:12):
We've hung out like what, five times maybe?
Dude, this is like you're likemy best friend.
SPEAKER_04 (18:17):
Absolutely, like stupid chills.
SPEAKER_05 (18:20):
Oh, absolutely.
I'll just tell you this beforewe start recording in our
garage, we have like a 75-inchTV.
We watch football, Saturday, andthe two of y'all are out there
singing karaoke.
Singing karaoke to the top oftheir line.
Yes, I wouldn't say too aboutproducer Michael and AJ.
SPEAKER_01 (18:37):
Y'all could not be more different.
SPEAKER_06 (18:39):
Oh, like very people.
SPEAKER_01 (18:42):
But also, there's so many simulators that just joy
and enjoying who you're around.
SPEAKER_05 (18:47):
Come on, Miranda.
Get up here.
SPEAKER_01 (18:49):
Come on, Miranda, later.
SPEAKER_05 (18:50):
Miranda won't even get off the couch and get over
here.
Come on, producer Miranda.
SPEAKER_01 (18:54):
Come on.
SPEAKER_06 (18:55):
I will say Producer, birthday girl Miranda.
SPEAKER_01 (18:57):
Producer, birthday girl, Miranda, and I are a lot
alike and our self-talk.
And so I know that this is hardfor you, but I know there's two
things you can say.
SPEAKER_05 (19:11):
We just want recording because most 98%, 99%
of our people listen.
SPEAKER_01 (19:16):
Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_05 (19:17):
So go ahead.
Yeah, just tell us what you got.
SPEAKER_01 (19:19):
Okay, first thing.
SPEAKER_05 (19:20):
Give us two.
SPEAKER_01 (19:21):
My photography.
Yes.
You are such an amazingphotograph.
SPEAKER_05 (19:29):
You want a phenomenal photographer?
SPEAKER_01 (19:31):
Go on Facebook and search you photography.
Simply U photography.
And check this girl out.
Yeah.
If you want to be tan beforeyour photo, you can also search
Simply Tan and she'll make youglow well.
SPEAKER_05 (19:49):
It's really cool to watch her work.
SPEAKER_01 (19:51):
You are an artist many ways.
How sweet Lucy is.
No, okay, that's but say it, butframe, but frame it as a
compliment to yourself.
SPEAKER_04 (20:02):
I am a good mommy.
SPEAKER_01 (20:06):
Yes, you are.
You are such a good mommy.
SPEAKER_05 (20:09):
You are.
SPEAKER_01 (20:10):
You are such a good mommy.
SPEAKER_05 (20:12):
And Miss Lucy's she's asleep, maybe like 15 feet
from us.
SPEAKER_01 (20:17):
Yeah, she's she's sleeping in G and JJ's room.
Okay, Thomas Jack.
SPEAKER_05 (20:22):
All right, hey, no vulgarity.
SPEAKER_01 (20:24):
You can't say bad words.
Firefighter Thomas cannot saybad words.
SPEAKER_02 (20:29):
I like that I like to help people.
SPEAKER_01 (20:32):
Yes.
You're a community helper.
SPEAKER_02 (20:34):
That is a good thing.
SPEAKER_01 (20:36):
That's true.
SPEAKER_02 (20:36):
I mean, I guess I would like to think that I'm a
good dad and husband.
Yeah! Yeah.
I got approval from AJ.
SPEAKER_07 (20:43):
AJ approves.
SPEAKER_05 (20:45):
I would say you guys are.
You guys are phenomenal and veryinvolved parents, which is
really cool to be.
SPEAKER_01 (20:50):
You're very hands-on parents.
SPEAKER_05 (20:52):
Yes.
It's cool.
It's cool to see you.
SPEAKER_01 (20:54):
As hard as it is to have a newborn, and you I mean,
you were literally newlywedswhen you had her, like literally
a year and uh five seconds afteryou got married.
SPEAKER_06 (21:05):
A year and five seconds.
SPEAKER_01 (21:06):
But all of that, y'all are just y'all have taken
it on so well.
And I know there's frustration.
I mean, we're we're parentingadults, and there's still
frustration, but you've done areally good job.
And AJ, I mean, see, here I amcomplimenting y'all.
AJ, your determination isadmirable.
It truly is.
SPEAKER_05 (21:25):
We've watched you go from this struggle and work and
work and work and pay for yourways to smoke house to the
pilot.
Yeah, too.
SPEAKER_01 (21:40):
Yeah, so really nothing.
SPEAKER_06 (21:42):
How do you shift this whole encouragement mindset
to ourselves?
How do we encourage ourselvesmore?
SPEAKER_01 (21:47):
I really do that.
That's what we're here to talkabout.
SPEAKER_05 (22:00):
And it's phenomenal in the in the fact that you can
rewire the way you think.
But we don't we don't do it somany times.
We just get stuck in this rutand we stay there.
And it's like almost changingthe way we think, changing the
way we view ourselves is notit's not an easy thing, but it
can be done.
It just takes us focus and somework on us to be able to do
(22:21):
that.
And so we gotta change somethings up.
Uh we gotta make change happen,but we just totally get stuck in
that and we don't move from it.
Yeah.
So it's a start with the simplething.
So just even if it's a personal,just inner, inner focus kind of
thing.
Because we talked about solitudeand the importance of being
alone.
(22:41):
How it uh and I think it's beingwith our own thoughts and being
okay with those thoughts, ascrazy as they may sound, as um I
mean unorganized as they maysound, like Oh, crazy
unorganized.
Yeah, I'm I'm ADD.
So it's like if I sit by myselfsomewhere.
So you're like 50 differentthoughts you're wrestling
through.
SPEAKER_01 (23:01):
Like Yeah, it's insane.
SPEAKER_05 (23:03):
Well, I mean, I have to work to see focused.
SPEAKER_01 (23:06):
Yeah, not even just by yourself.
Like you you forget to finishlike the last two words of a
sentence.
Although in your brain, you knowwhat you wanted to say.
Oh, I I But as it's coming outof your mouth, you don't finish
the sentence because in yourbrain you're on to the next
three sentences.
You heard that.
SPEAKER_05 (23:23):
I still get caught in the moment.
And I realized, like, AJ and I,I was walking into the house to
get the book, and AJ and I metin the little walkway going to
the house, and we startedtalking and cutting up.
I literally got into the houseand I'm sitting in the kitchen.
We're just laughing, and I'mlike, why did I come into the
house?
SPEAKER_06 (23:39):
I'm sitting there like, I don't even know why I
came here.
You're waiting on him to getback to me and start recording.
SPEAKER_01 (23:45):
And you one of the and I think it's cute.
It's not annoying to me, but oneof these things that you do,
you'll say, Well, I I was gonnahand you this, but I was gonna
go get the.
And then you walk off to dowhatever you do, and I was like,
Okay, I'm gonna go get the what?
SPEAKER_05 (24:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:03):
So thoughts can hurt us though, and like your
thoughts are running so rampantin your head.
My thoughts just you know, youcome to a fork in the road and
you've got, hey, here's positivelane and here's negative down.
Mine, my thoughts go negativeimmediately.
Like and it's just like, nope,that's where we're going.
(24:24):
Yours are like, I don't knowwhere I'm going.
I'm going everywhere.
Well about you.
SPEAKER_06 (24:29):
Just everywhere.
It's everywhere.
There's literally no telling.
SPEAKER_05 (24:32):
I don't and this is this is not a great thing.
I cannot start with that.
Like, this is my protectivemechanism I've I've learned over
counseling.
When someone is very negativetoward me or in me, I just don't
have them in my life.
Like I just eliminate them frommy life.
Because I'm like, I don't wantthat, I don't need that, I don't
need that distraction, and Idon't need anyone to beat me
(24:54):
down.
SPEAKER_01 (24:54):
I mean, yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (24:55):
It's a kind of a safety net for me because
growing up with my dad being Imean, I I was called anything
you can think of, I was calledby my dad.
Like I was yeah.
And so it's like I dealt withthat for a long time, and then I
got a part where I was like, Idon't really care what you think
about me.
Like the people I care thatthink about me are the people
that are closest to me.
(25:16):
Like the people in this room arewhat matter to me.
And so that's the what theythink of me matters.
Outside of that, I'm kind oflike whatever.
That's that's cool you thinkthat way, but I don't really
care.
SPEAKER_01 (25:27):
Like So you think that transfers to your
self-talk?
SPEAKER_05 (25:31):
I think so a lot, because I'm just like, yeah, I
don't know.
It's like reading the it's likereading the negative comments in
uh in a social feed.
Like and I I found myself doingthis.
I'm s I'm more intrigued withthe comment section of TikTok
than I am the actual video.
So as soon as I watch the video,sometimes I hit pause and I go
straight to the comments.
(25:51):
Absolutely.
It's always the comments.
SPEAKER_01 (25:53):
It's so rare for me to do that.
And really?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (25:57):
I'm always doing that.
And it's just immediately itgoes to negative.
People immediately go tonegative screenshot.
SPEAKER_01 (26:02):
Well, it's so funny that you said that because a
friend of mine sent me like ascreenshot of comments.
It was like an educationalcontent TikTok, but she had
pulled up the comments andscreenshotted that and sent it
to me.
And I I was just like, Do weknow some of these people who
are commenting?
She was like, No, just look atwhat they're saying.
(26:24):
Like, we can identify with this,this, this, and this.
And I was like, oh, okay.
I didn't think about that part.
I'm like, do we know some ofthese people who are saying
this?
SPEAKER_05 (26:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (26:32):
So I I don't I don't know.
It's just it's interesting howmy own mind works as we're
talking about this.
Like I hear that.
SPEAKER_06 (26:40):
Well, and I got to thinking, I mean, just as we
were we were talking through itas our our participation
audience was um, I dropped myfidget to wing it.
You know, just sitting here andencouraging one another, man.
Like one, I don't and whentalking to listeners, I don't
know where where y'all are at,but like there is something so
fulfilling and encouraging anduplifting about encouraging
(27:02):
others.
Yeah.
And and I sit back and I'm like,gosh, why can't I do that to
myself?
Yes, why can't I do that tomyself?
And then it like it takes meback, and I know we shared a
little bit about this lastepisode, but like there's been a
time in my life where I wasencouraged by how I encouraged
myself, if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_01 (27:23):
It does, it does when you say it, but can I tell
you, I've never had a span oftime in my life where I've
thought that way of my own self.
SPEAKER_06 (27:31):
So you never had you never pep talk yourself?
SPEAKER_01 (27:34):
No, never.
Ever.
SPEAKER_06 (27:36):
There was a season, especially after going through
divorce, like I did it all thetime.
And mind you, I was also goingthrough counseling, going
through a lot of things, and Italked about everything that
went through my mind.
Greg, you know, like I didn'thold anything back.
I talked about everything that Iwas going through in my
thoughts.
SPEAKER_01 (27:51):
Okay.
I don't mean to interrupt you.
No, you're fine.
There was maybe like a six-monthperiod when I was a widow where
I'd worked my butt off to get myfeet back under myself, get a
routine, get just get mine andThomas and Aaron Grace's life
together.
Where I was like, I'm doing it.
I'm doing it.
I'm doing it.
(28:12):
I can do this, I am doing it.
And I could tell myself thatdaily.
And that's when my counselor waslike, and that's when somebody's
gonna come into your life thatwants to date you and marry you,
and you're gonna be like, don'tmess this up.
When we met, I was veryconfident.
I can say that.
SPEAKER_05 (28:28):
You were very much, I don't need anything.
And that was probably the mostattractive thing for me to be
like, oh, she's got her stufftogether.
SPEAKER_01 (28:35):
I didn't need to.
SPEAKER_05 (28:35):
Like you were running your subdivision, you
would run around yoursubdivision uh in country walk
uh every so often.
I was just like, okay.
As well as all the other Yeah,you were like doing the after
school.
SPEAKER_01 (28:47):
I pushed a car up a hill.
SPEAKER_05 (28:48):
Yeah, you did.
You told me about it.
But it was interesting becauseyou you had such a confidence
about yourself.
SPEAKER_01 (28:55):
Yeah.
But it wasn't just the workingout or whatever.
It was like, no, I was I wasrunning my life.
SPEAKER_05 (29:03):
Yeah, it does.
I mean, all of that does havelike what you eat, what you put
into your body has uh affectsall of and here's the thing, and
another- I felt guilty yesterdaybecause I ate three pieces of
candy at school.
SPEAKER_01 (29:14):
I was stressed out.
SPEAKER_05 (29:15):
So I know some of you may be listening to this and
going, okay, I thought this wasabout relationships, thought it
was about marriage.
But I'm telling you, if youdon't believe how you think
about yourself, how you seeyourself affects your
relationships, pull your headout of the sand and join the
real world because it 1,000%directly reflects how you speak
(29:36):
to, how you react to, how youcommunicate, and how you talk to
your significant others.
SPEAKER_01 (29:42):
Whether or not I enjoy spending time alone or
just doing my own thing, I doknow that there are things that
I do that are my own thing thatmake me feel better.
SPEAKER_07 (29:51):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (29:52):
Like working out every day makes me feel better.
As silly as it sounds, gettingto read for thirty 45 minutes
before I go to bed.
It makes me feel better.
SPEAKER_05 (30:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (30:03):
Like just little things.
SPEAKER_05 (30:05):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because we we say I've said itonce, I'll say it a thousand
times.
And I'll keep saying it.
I'll keep beating the drum.
If you want to have a greatmarriage, be a very, very
healthy person.
SPEAKER_06 (30:14):
Great you.
Yeah.
Be the best version of it.
I mean, how are you, and youknow, if you're in a marriage
relationship and you're saying,you know, till death do us part,
this is something you want to befor the rest of your life.
If you can't wrestle the ownissues in your own mind, how are
you supposed to wrestle theissues between you and a spouse?
SPEAKER_01 (30:30):
Well, for crying out loud, if you want to be a good
friend, you need to be a goodyou.
SPEAKER_06 (30:35):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (30:36):
It's not just about marriage.
If you want to be a good friend,if you want to be a good parent,
a sibling, if you want to be agood you in a relationship,
you've got to be a good youfirst.
Like you can't you can't bringan unhealthy person into any
kind of relationship.
SPEAKER_05 (30:51):
Trevor Burrus, Jr.: So we talked about this idea of
the solitude paradox of beingalone makes you better with
others.
So we talked about being okayand sitting in yourself, sitting
in your own thoughts.
So what does that look like?
Help me help me understand whatthat looks like, what that means
for you guys to sit.
SPEAKER_01 (31:09):
Well, it's different for all three of us sitting here
at this table.
SPEAKER_05 (31:12):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (31:13):
I mean, I just said what what it what it is for me.
It's getting to go to the gymand or getting to read or just
having a few minutes todecompress where I don't have to
say words.
Because at work for me, becauseI'm a teacher, I say five
million, thousand, trillionwords a day.
And I have to make a hundredchoices a minute and you know,
(31:36):
all of the things that areincorporated in my job.
So I think it's like well,because I spend so much time
with other people and doingthings with other people,
although they're littles, it'shard for me to switch gears to
be like, here's what I need formyself.
Because my days are long.
And when I get home, it's like,no, I want to be with you, I
(31:58):
want to be with the kids, I wantto be with Lucy.
And it's just like, it's hard tomake that choice of no, what do
I really need?
Although I know what it is.
SPEAKER_05 (32:07):
Well, because there's there's many people out
there whose lives are extremelybusy and full of stuff and full
of activities.
SPEAKER_01 (32:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (32:13):
But the idea is if you don't figure out how to take
just a few minutes of time tocenter yourself and ground
yourself, then you're not beingthe best version of your stuff.
SPEAKER_01 (32:21):
I don't have anything to give if I don't do
that.
Right.
SPEAKER_06 (32:24):
For me, you know, going back to the when I do have
solitude, when I work on mythoughts, or when I just have
thoughts, like I get so manythoughts.
So many.
And especially like the negativethoughts, like just hounding at
me, like, why aren't you workingout more?
You know, why why haven't youlost more weight than you
already are?
You know, you should be betterthan where you're at.
(32:45):
Why aren't you doing more atwork?
You should be accomplishingmore.
Why haven't you done more onyour barn that you're building?
Like all these things, like,hey, you know, I wish I could
see the end result, but I'm not,because I haven't done all the
small steps to it.
But then uh it's so easy to getdrowned out with that.
And one thing that I I wentthrough in counseling um a
couple of years ago was uh wesat down and we were like, look,
(33:07):
it's it's not wrong to copesometimes to distract yourself
from the thoughts becausesometimes they can just
overwhelm you so much to thepoint that it can lead to
anxiety, it can lead todepression and all these things.
But the reality is coping andthriving cannot coexist.
So it was a matter of beingintentional to take a moment and
(33:30):
say, I'm not distracting myselffrom my thoughts.
I'm going to be intentional tobe alone and I'm gonna latch on
to one thought and I'm gonnanail it down.
Yep.
And I'm gonna complete thatthought.
Um, so for me, what that helpedwith, because and and I don't
know if this is just a me thingor if you all have had this, but
whenever you have a thought thatcomes out at you that you feel
(33:52):
negative towards yourself, thatthought is going to be
recurring.
So I've had that thought lastweek.
Well, it's gonna happen againtoday, it's gonna happen again
tomorrow, and it's gonna happenagain next week.
And so for me, it was a matterof taking that one thought and
wrestling it down.
And if it came down to saying,okay, no, you're believing in a
lie that maybe someone has saidabout you or that you have a
(34:14):
preconceived idea about you, youneed to stop believing in that
lie and here's why.
Or if it's true and I need tochange, start making that
change.
Gotcha.
Because then when the next daycomes and that thought comes
back, I already have the answerto that thought.
I don't have to reprocess thatwhole thought.
(34:34):
That thought already has alreadybeen finalized.
So if it comes down to, youknow, hey, what did I work
through in my divorce?
Okay, was that my issue?
Was that something I need tochange?
Okay, well, then either one,work on changing that.
That way, tomorrow when thethought comes back, you say, No,
that thought's not gonna hinderme anymore because I'm already
working on it.
I'm changing that about myself,or saying, no, that thought's a
(34:57):
lie.
I'm not gonna believe it.
And don't get me wrong, it takestime because, like for me,
especially when I was goingthrough divorce, like tons,
dozens and dozens of thosethoughts.
And I had to take numerousnights where I never slept,
numerous nights, like all thesetimes that I had to wrestle
these thoughts.
And sometimes I had to journalit.
Sometimes I had to work on itfor an hour and then get away
(35:18):
and distract myself, then comeback to it and keep thinking
about it.
But the significant change forme, where it became an
encouragement to me, wasfinalizing those thoughts when I
had them so that they didn'tdrown me.
SPEAKER_01 (35:31):
That's what I was about to say.
You worked through them and youwrestled them down to a place
where you could there was an endpoint and then you move forward.
I have not been able to get tothat place for myself because if
even if it's like a negativethought I made up in my own
head, which most of them are,um, or if it's something, a
(35:53):
negative thought that's actuallytrue, I cannot, I can't, it just
keeps cycling.
It's just a it just cyclesthrough.
I may forget about it for alittle while, but it always
comes back.
So this is something I very,very, very much struggle with.
Very much.
SPEAKER_05 (36:10):
But I almost think it's that's the importance of
having somebody in your life whois like honest with you, like
real and honest.
SPEAKER_06 (36:19):
It goes that you're almost like, hey, is this the
truth or is this a live made my-Bro, you and I, like, okay, my
divorce was like what two yearsago?
SPEAKER_05 (36:26):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (36:26):
And not three months ago in this room after
recording, we stayed till likeone o'clock in the morning.
Like, just in me, I got crazyemotional that night because I'm
like, dude, I am resurfacingthese things I thought I dealt
with, and it's hitting me upsidethe head like crazy.
Yeah.
And I mean, seriously like, Imean, I'm just not gonna lie, I
was balling my eyes out thatnight.
Like I was going through a lot.
(36:46):
And I was like, dude, tell me,like, speak truth into me right
now.
I don't care if it's gonna hurtme.
I don't care if it's gonnaencourage me, speak the truth so
I know where to move forwardwith.
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (36:58):
That is one thing you're being good at, though.
SPEAKER_06 (37:00):
Radically change that night was in a massive
turning point for me.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (37:04):
Well, even just little things.
I and I know, I I think you'rethe greatest thing that there
ever was, ever.
But like even on the days, mostof the days, where I couldn't
come up with anything positiveto say about myself, and I would
talk to you about it, and youwould say, You can teach little
people to read.
Like it was just very what Ithink are basic things like,
(37:27):
well, that's my job, but noteverybody can do my job.
You know, it was just you'revery good at encouraging people
by that, and I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_05 (37:35):
Well, it's you you look at people, it's how you
choose to look at people.
Like you choose to see thepositive, you choose to see the
good things in them, or you canchoose to see the crap you don't
like.
SPEAKER_06 (37:44):
And you'll always find what you're looking for.
SPEAKER_05 (37:46):
Right.
100%.
100%.
That's such a true statement.
And it's so I'm I'm so sick ofliving in a world where
everybody tells us the things weneed to change and be like,
okay, I get it.
We want to we want to improve,want to be better.
Like, dude, we're reading thebook we talked about last week.
Um, comfort crisis.
Like, hey, don't be comfortable,keep pushing.
(38:07):
Well, I do that so much.
Sometimes I lose sight of thethings that are now.
SPEAKER_01 (38:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (38:12):
I'm like, this, but let's enjoy the journey.
Like this this is a journeywe're on.
We're like, we're never gettingtoday back.
Today's gone.
SPEAKER_07 (38:20):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (38:20):
Like whatever you did today, that's gone.
Those those those are memoriesnow.
Whatever you get to do tomorrow,you get to pr you get to choose
that.
You get to predict that.
You get to like you, and somethings are thrown your way that
you don't get to choose.
But you know what?
You get to choose how to reactto it.
And so that's the that's thething that I in relationships
and marriage and for yourself,I'm like, bro, just take a
(38:43):
minute, take a deep breath,relax, and just focus on some
good and encourage each other.
Say something sweet, saysomething positive about your
significant other, say somethingpositive about the other person
in your life.
It's not hard.
It takes just a few minutes.
You're not that busy.
If you say you're too busy,you're I'm sorry, you're just
(39:04):
you're that's a lie.
SPEAKER_06 (39:05):
And you stop stop lying yourself.
Trevor Burrus, Jr.
Well, and if you look at thedifference, there is a book I
read, gosh, when I was incollege so long ago, uh, The
Compound Effect by Darren Hardy.
Um, I can't even believe Iremember who wrote that book.
But uh the the concept is thisis he's saying, like, if you're
on a 10-mile trek and you veeroff by one degree to the right,
(39:28):
over that 10 miles, you'll be sofar off your point.
So just that super small shiftseems like absolutely nothing.
We wouldn't even consider it tobe an issue.
But over 10 miles, that'stremendous.
And you think you say, justfocus on the good.
Focus on what is encouraging anduplifting, and not only just for
(39:49):
you, but maybe your your spouseor your kids or your
friendships, your relationships,your co-workers, your boss,
focus on what's good.
Imagine two years from now whatthat's gonna look like.
SPEAKER_01 (40:02):
That's true.
My mom has always said about me,I'm a silver lining girl.
Like I could be delivered theworst news, and I have been.
But even just like things thathappen in our family, like she
says, I can find the silverlining, which is easy for me to
do in a big, like big situation,like a um, you know, overall
(40:24):
scenario.
And even if I boil it down to,you know, if one of my friends
or uh one of our family membersis having a hard time, I can
find that, but I can't alwaysfind that for my own self.
So I feel like like I know we'vebeen talking about and maybe
this is unpack.
We usually kind of talk aboutwhere we want to unpack before
(40:47):
we get here, but here we are.
SPEAKER_06 (40:48):
I feel like we've kind of been unpacking
progressively, excuse me.
SPEAKER_01 (40:51):
I feel like for unpack, like I know we've been
talking a lot about solitude andself-talk and those kinds of
things, but I feel like a reallybig thing is whether it's your
spouse or a friend or a teammateor a coworker or just a trusted
somebody that can help you helpremind you of those good things
of your about yourself becauseI'm sorry.
(41:14):
People like me who lose sight ofthe positive things about my own
self daily.
I have people like Greg andMichael and our kids, and I have
friends and coworkers that canvery easily just at the snap of
a finger tell me somethingpositive about myself to bring
me back on course.
SPEAKER_05 (41:40):
So here here's so here's here's one thing I would
like to here's one thing I wouldlike to do, kind of a shift from
what we did last week.
Because we said say something uhthat you like about yourself.
So I would I would say thisweek, shift.
Do it, do it, do still do your10 minutes of solitude, quiet,
(42:02):
no radio, no nothing, justsilent, wherever you are, if
it's sitting outside, riding inthe car, whatever it may be.
Um but as a result of that.
You okay?
Say something you like aboutsomeone important in your life.
Say something encouraging tothem.
(42:23):
Whether it's a boss, a coworker,a spouse, if you have a spouse,
significant other, somebody youwork with, take two people each
day and say somethingencouraging to the actually tell
them.
Yeah, you can text them, you cansay it to their face, uh, text
them or say it to their face orwhatever.
Just two things or just onething you like about them to two
(42:44):
different people each day.
It's not that much.
No.
You're talking about two text.
SPEAKER_01 (42:48):
That's gonna be so much easier than saying things I
like about my own self.
SPEAKER_05 (42:52):
But I want to encourage you, spend some time
alone and think about thosethings.
Like continue to wrestle thosethoughts, continue to to spend
those, but then say those twothings or the the one thing to
two different people that areimportant in your life and just
encourage them.
And I hope if you're married oryou have a single one of those
is that person.
SPEAKER_01 (43:11):
I it may be hard for you to take in what somebody
says that's positive about yourown self, especially if you view
yourself in such a negativelight.
And that's gonna be part of thechallenge too, though.
Sometimes just is to be able tosee it and say thank you.
SPEAKER_05 (43:27):
Thank you.
It's not wrong to just say thankyou.
No, it's not.
Say thank you.
I appreciate that.
Like that's an easy thing.
Because if we don't start toshift the way we think, the way
we see people, the way we seeourselves, it it directly
reflects the relationships inour lives, the closest ones to
us, all of them that are aroundus.
So um it's a huge shift, butit's a big one.
(43:50):
But it's one of those things youhave to unpack.
You have to unpack it if youwant to be healthy.
SPEAKER_07 (43:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (43:56):
Uh and you have to face it.
And so it's just this is what itis.
So are we good with those twochallenges?
I'm good with that.
SPEAKER_01 (44:04):
I love it.
SPEAKER_05 (44:05):
And so I I want to encourage um people, I I want to
see this on social media ofpeople encouraging each other
instead of the the the reverseof us uh us cutting each other
down.
So take some time, encouragesomebody, uh, give them that
avoidance.
If someone is uh posting, butyou may you may not have to
agree with them, that's okay.
(44:26):
Uh just if you don't agree withthem, you don't like what
they're saying, just keepscrolling.
That's what uh go somewhereelse.
But just be encouraging tosomeone.
SPEAKER_07 (44:33):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (44:33):
So and lift somebody up.
Say something positive.
So solitude is it's a beautifulthing.
It's a hard thing.
Scary thing.
It's scary.
Oh, it's scary.
Um I love it.
SPEAKER_01 (44:45):
Um I don't love it.
SPEAKER_05 (44:47):
I today I was working on a rental house and I
got there, and um there was thisthis is weird, it felt really
weird.
If you would have seen me, you'dbe like, This guy's a
psychopath.
Uh, because I literally just itwas cold outside this morning
here in Georgia.
And I'd been working and I justsat in the chair and the radio
was off and everything.
I just sat there and it wasquiet.
(45:07):
And I just sat there for just afew just a little while and just
listened.
It was just kind of just tryingto take it all in.
It was kind of you enjoy that.
I do.
SPEAKER_01 (45:17):
I do not.
SPEAKER_06 (45:19):
I did that in the car today.
I was I drove about five hourstoday, and for about an hour I
just radio off, music off,everything off.
SPEAKER_05 (45:26):
Yeah.
Just be in your thoughts, man.
Be good, be okay with yourself.
Sit in that.
That's a beautiful thing.
SPEAKER_01 (45:34):
Thank you to our friends who are going on this
journey with us.
SPEAKER_06 (45:37):
Yes.
So please.
Yeah, and I would encourage you,like, if this is out of your
comfort zone, like for ourlisteners, like try it.
unknown (45:45):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (45:45):
If it's if it makes you uncomfortable, that's more
of a reason to do it.
SPEAKER_06 (45:50):
Yes.
SPEAKER_05 (45:50):
Yeah, that's even more of a reason to do it.
If you're comfortable doing it,then that's an easy thing.
Like, do something that makesyou kind of all uh feel
uncomfortable.
Yeah.
So, but thank you guys forjoining us.
Uh thank you for continuing tospread the word.
Um, we keep we keep growing, wekeep reaching different
countries, different cities.
SPEAKER_06 (46:09):
Hegan, isn't this week over 2,000 downloads for
us?
Yeah.
We're over 2,000.
SPEAKER_01 (46:13):
2,000 pretty big.
And we're in 13 countries now.
SPEAKER_05 (46:19):
Over 175 cities.
That's wild.
All over the place.
We sure would see.
SPEAKER_01 (46:24):
Maybe we should say this at the beginning of a
podcast.
We sure would love to hear fromsome of you folks.
Fu fukes.
I have a cough drop in my mouth.
Some of you folks that arelistening.
SPEAKER_05 (46:34):
That means people.
All you guys.
Folks, folks.
Which is a very southern term.
SPEAKER_01 (46:39):
You're gonna make me cough again.
SPEAKER_05 (46:43):
So uh like we really be.
And if you've listened thislong, thank you.
Uh you can uh you can shoot us atext from the podcast.
Uh you can catch us on all oursocials wherever we're at.
Make sure to connect with us.
If you have something you wantto talk about, let us know.
(47:04):
Uh thanks for sharing.
Thanks for uh subscribing, forfollowing us on all of our
platforms.
And we're just gonna keeprecording and keep producing as
long as you keep listening andkeep sharing.
Yes.
Yeah.
So thank you guys.
And um, you know, go dogs.
SPEAKER_01 (47:20):
Go dogs.
SPEAKER_05 (47:20):
Go dogs.
Oh, we got a big game this week,isn't it?
We did.
SPEAKER_01 (47:23):
Georgia, Florida.
Yeah, so it's Gator Hater.
SPEAKER_05 (47:26):
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, beautiful game.
Love it.
Oh, yeah.
So uh thank you guys.
Have a uh have a good rest ofyour day and uh change some
loves.
Yeah.
So you guys, see you all.
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm Greg.
I hope you guys are ready tounpack and get into some good
conversations today.
SPEAKER_00 (00:07):
And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast, Baggage
Claim.
Thank you for joining us.
SPEAKER_05 (00:17):
What's up, Baggage Claim?
How's everybody doing tonight?
If your first time here, thankyou so much for joining us.
If you're a regular uh toBaggage Claim, thank you for
coming back.
Um Baggage Claim is a placewhere we have conversations and
community around relationships,around marriage, around just
(00:38):
self.
Um and so wherever you're at,whatever you're doing, uh grab
your favorite drink, whateverthat is, and pull up to the
table with us and just have somegood discussion.
That's right.
SPEAKER_01 (00:50):
You know what's good about today already?
SPEAKER_05 (00:52):
Ooh, what is good about today already?
SPEAKER_01 (00:54):
I did not laugh at the clap.
SPEAKER_06 (00:56):
I'm so proud of you.
Give me high five.
I feel like we've maybe turned acorner here.
We may have.
SPEAKER_05 (01:00):
I mean, we've got thirty, what is it, thirty-three
episodes in?
SPEAKER_01 (01:04):
Yeah.
When we originally started, wehad producer Michael, we had
producer Miranda.
Well, Miranda's ourdaughter-in-law.
And when baby Lucy was born,Miranda had to take a little uh
leave of absence.
And she's here today.
SPEAKER_06 (01:17):
And she did the clap for us.
SPEAKER_01 (01:18):
And I did not laugh.
So do you realize we're probablybombing influence in my heart?
SPEAKER_05 (01:24):
30 hours in.
Probably 30 plus hours.
That's insane.
And you just now stoppedlaughing with the glasses.
SPEAKER_01 (01:31):
That doesn't mean I'm gonna knock it out.
SPEAKER_06 (01:32):
Can we give a quick shout out that it's Miranda's
birthday?
It is.
We're celebrating Miranda'sbirthday.
SPEAKER_05 (01:37):
We are celebrating it tonight, but she was out of
town Saturday.
We're celebrating her birthdaytonight.
Which will be birthday.
Seven days later when this allcomes out.
Yes.
Yes.
Um, we do have an audience.
We have uh some actual pastguests of uh Thomas.
That's true.
It's got returned.
(01:57):
N AJ, Uncle AJ.
You're broke.
SPEAKER_01 (02:01):
Thomas, our son, who is married to the birthday girl.
Yeah.
Uncle AJ, who is like anhonorary son.
SPEAKER_05 (02:07):
Yes, he's one of our kids.
That's it.
Come on, buddy.
You're right.
He is just all went out todinner uh from Randy's birthday,
and now we're recording.
So uh it's been a fun nightalready.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
So we're um I mean we're justgonna jump in.
Like we just question time.
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (02:26):
Are we doing question time?
Greg almost.
I just got to go.
Greg's grandfather name is G,and so we and I'm JJ, so we nine
times out of ten, instead ofGreg, hey, whatever.
I'm like, D, this or that.
SPEAKER_06 (02:39):
I will say I completely dove into saying
question time, but do we havequestions?
You said you.
I don't know.
Do we have a question?
Do we have a question?
Hey, let's ask the audience.
I think AJ has oh, that one,that one might be that one might
be dangerous.
AJ raising his hand.
SPEAKER_05 (02:58):
All right.
All right, go ahead, AJ.
What's your question?
SPEAKER_01 (03:00):
Okay.
Question time.
SPEAKER_03 (03:02):
Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_01 (03:03):
Okay.
Would you rather No, come here,you gotta get on the mic.
Yeah, don't you?
SPEAKER_05 (03:08):
No, walk over here and get on the mic.
Don't get in front of the side.
SPEAKER_02 (03:11):
Would you rather go time?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (03:14):
It's okay.
SPEAKER_02 (03:15):
Would you rather sneeze every time you fart or
fart every time you sneeze?
SPEAKER_05 (03:21):
Sneeze every time you fart.
SPEAKER_02 (03:22):
That sounds like it's the double whammy of
awfulness every time.
SPEAKER_06 (03:27):
Well, I definitely sneeze more than I fart, so I
would say You do?
Oh, I definitely like with myallergies.
Bro, go to an allergist, man.
Get some medicine.
SPEAKER_01 (03:36):
I feel like that's a good one.
SPEAKER_06 (03:38):
Because like when you've got a question.
SPEAKER_01 (03:39):
We have to answer the question for the question.
SPEAKER_06 (03:41):
Because I feel like I would rather have to sneeze
whenever I fart.
That way I don't fart every timeI have to sneeze.
I enjoy sneezing more thanfarting.
I don't.
It's the reverse.
SPEAKER_05 (03:51):
I would rather.
Sneezing is like it starts in mytoes and it's a full-body
sneeze.
SPEAKER_01 (03:55):
You have a range of sneezes.
It's either like a oh bless you,or of are you okay?
I'm a violent sneezer.
SPEAKER_05 (04:02):
I'm very violent.
It's very loud, very violent.
But it's not like a release.
Like it hurts.
The problem is though when yousneeze, people go, bless you.
They're like, bless you.
When you fart, no one, everybodyuses think uh.
SPEAKER_01 (04:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (04:14):
Like they're looking to rate it.
SPEAKER_01 (04:16):
I don't like the word.
I'm a rater.
I'm a girl.
Oh my god, I was a solid passgas.
SPEAKER_05 (04:20):
You know what I mean?
Toot.
New pass gas.
Toot.
You got a question?
I do have a question.
Come on, AJ.
SPEAKER_01 (04:27):
I never answered that question because I'm not
sure.
SPEAKER_05 (04:29):
This is questions from the audience.
Like number two here.
Okay.
Hold on.
Is this a is this appropriatefor our audience?
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (04:36):
I thought of a new one.
I thought of a new one.
Okay.
SPEAKER_04 (04:38):
Just making sure.
Would you rather be able tonever use toilet paper again or
never use a fork and knifeagain?
SPEAKER_01 (04:45):
Never use a fork and never use a fork and knife
again.
SPEAKER_06 (04:47):
Hands down fork and knife.
SPEAKER_01 (04:48):
Fork and knife.
SPEAKER_04 (04:49):
What about a bidet?
SPEAKER_01 (04:51):
That's not a part of the question.
SPEAKER_04 (04:52):
You don't mind a baba do.
Boba do bobaet.
You gotta start using likedifferent theories, you know,
like could I use chopsticks?
Could I use a bidet?
Like other solutions.
Okay, so wait a minute.
SPEAKER_05 (05:05):
It's either no toilet paper or no silverware.
SPEAKER_04 (05:09):
Fork and knife.
You can use chopsticks.
SPEAKER_05 (05:11):
I will tell you this.
I was uh uh when I was I was inuh uh in Korea.
SPEAKER_01 (05:16):
What are you about to say?
SPEAKER_05 (05:17):
They have really, really nice debate debates, uh
debate debates.
SPEAKER_02 (05:21):
Bidets bidets, bidets, badays.
SPEAKER_05 (05:23):
Good gosh!
SPEAKER_02 (05:24):
What are we talking about, Greg?
SPEAKER_05 (05:25):
Sorry, this Marguerite is talking.
Yeah, but anyway, so it had likeum not only was it water, but it
had heat, air, massage like acar wash material.
Warm water?
Yeah, it was patterns nextlevel.
I can't.
It was amazing.
SPEAKER_04 (05:45):
So I might try one of those.
SPEAKER_05 (05:47):
It almost made me want to buy one.
SPEAKER_04 (05:48):
Um my old roommate had one.
I was sad when he moved out.
Yeah, I don't I don't it'sgreat.
Was it like heated?
Heated toilet seat, heatedwater, heated air.
SPEAKER_03 (05:59):
Oh, he said it was like a$500 banana.
SPEAKER_04 (06:01):
Yeah, it was it was good.
SPEAKER_03 (06:02):
The good one was.
So he's from California, soyeah.
Those are amazing.
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (06:06):
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (06:07):
I don't know what that means.
He's just bougie for OrangeCounty.
SPEAKER_01 (06:10):
I have a would you rather?
SPEAKER_05 (06:12):
All right, shoot, Jess, go for it.
How many questions are we doingin this three?
At least three.
This is the last one.
Would you hold on, it's forTatum.
Tatum, would you rather we gottado a question time?
SPEAKER_01 (06:22):
Do it right for Tatum.
For Tatum.
Question time.
SPEAKER_05 (06:26):
Tatum, would you rather shout out to Tatum?
Sneezer Fart.
SPEAKER_01 (06:29):
Would you?
No.
You'd probably rather would yourather be allergic to sunlight
or be allergic to your ownsweat.
SPEAKER_05 (06:38):
Ooh.
Sweat.
Because if I could be outside,that'd just be miserable for me.
SPEAKER_01 (06:45):
And my menopause is a era of life.
I sweat in my classroom.
SPEAKER_05 (06:52):
So I will say it's gotten colder here in Georgia,
where we're at.
And I've slept in six degreewith her.
Jess says she wakes up freezing,but I've literally slept in
night.
SPEAKER_01 (07:08):
I go to sleep freezing and then I sweat the
rest of the time.
I think I would rather beallergic to sunlight because
it's easier to be in the shade.
SPEAKER_06 (07:16):
I don't know.
I think I'd rather be allergicto my sweat.
And I sweat all the time.
Like I'm thinking like built inthe deck this last week, and
like I sweat like I don't knowsweat.
SPEAKER_01 (07:22):
I'm literally standing in the front of my
classroom teaching breathing.
SPEAKER_06 (07:26):
But I think I would rather be able to like go out to
the beach or go out to the lake.
SPEAKER_05 (07:30):
If you can't be in the sun, that just sucks.
SPEAKER_06 (07:32):
Yeah.
I think I'd rather choose to bein the sun.
So great question time.
All right.
SPEAKER_01 (07:38):
Well our audience is not engaged and we're going to
be able to do that.
That doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_05 (07:40):
They're over there talking about stupid crap.
So we talked about, we just hadone that posted uh when this
comes out, it'll be seven daysago.
Yeah.
Uh so it's called the SolitudeParadox.
Uh so the whole idea is thatyour relationships is a fancy
word.
Your relationships are betterwhen you spend time alone.
(08:01):
And which sounds kind of likeyou can manage your time alone.
Yeah.
And so we talked about thatidea, we threw it out there
about hey, being alone or insolitude makes the relationships
you're in better.
And so, but we never really wewe gave a couple of tips on
things to do.
Then we did the exercise.
Some challenges, yeah, someexercises like spend 10 minutes
(08:22):
alone uh this past week, like noradio, just in silence.
And then we said, say the onething that you love most about
yourself.
Um and we'll be pushing that onour social media this week or
last week was hey, tell ussomething you like about
yourself.
SPEAKER_01 (08:37):
Um So the three of us tried that challenge in our
own.
I say tried because I didn't dovery well.
SPEAKER_05 (08:45):
So we had yeah, we have a we have a little text
thread between the three of uscalled our bag exclaim crew.
And so we basically were like,okay, say one thing you like
about yourself each day.
Um and Michael and I were firingthem off.
And it was after day one, Jesswent, she ghosted us.
I did, she completely silenced.
So it's almost like I was sidetexting Jess, being like, hey,
(09:07):
you gotta chime in here.
SPEAKER_01 (09:08):
I was like, I don't like anything about myself
today.
SPEAKER_06 (09:10):
Like that was hard that once usually like day
three, it took me till the endof the day because like and I
would just think and think andthink.
And I'm like, I don't haveanything to say.
SPEAKER_01 (09:21):
Like we we've done been doing this for seven or
eight days at this point, andthere's only been like maybe
three days where I participated.
Not because I don't want to, butjust because that's that hard
for me to pick out something Ilike about myself.
SPEAKER_05 (09:34):
So why like and I texted in the group and we're
like, why is it this is sofreaking hard for us?
Like, why is it that we allowsociety, we allow everything in
our lives to talk about thenegative parts of us?
And we could all, because if wewent the next seven days and
said, tell me one thing you wantto change in your life, that's a
(09:56):
quick Yeah, it's a lot easier todo.
Yeah.
Why is that?
Like, why have we programmedourselves or why have we allowed
people to tell us all the thingswe need to change versus telling
us all the things that are good?
SPEAKER_06 (10:07):
Well, I don't think we take time to actually sit
back and think about the thingsthat we like about ourselves.
I mean, when's the last timethat you've ever had anybody
encourage you to do that?
Even just in society.
Like that's not a common thing.
SPEAKER_01 (10:19):
Well, I will say our principal at our staff meeting
today, she gave us each a stickynote after we had some pretty
heavy uh content that we hadalready gone over.
But she was like, We're notending on a negative note.
We've had a lot of heavy stuffwe've talked about.
So she gave all the sixtysomething of us a sticky note,
and she said, Write your name atthe top.
So we all did.
(10:40):
And she said, trade with someonearound you and then write
something that you like aboutthat person or an encouragement,
like a specific personal thing.
And we did that, but we alltraded around three times.
And she even brought up, she waslike, You see how easy it was
for you to pick out somethingthat was positive about
(11:00):
somebody.
Like I even had a somebody'sname who I don't know
personally, but I'm like, youhave the best laugh.
Like when you laugh, it fills upthe room.
And that's what I wrote on herpaper.
But I don't know her as afriend, but all of us, it was
like we were firing them off.
And she was just our principalsaid, Okay, okay, okay, we have
to like, you know, end this.
Y'all need to go home orwhatever.
(11:22):
But it was so easy for me topick out stuff I liked about
either my teammates on my gradelevel or like that person I
don't really teach with, I don'tteach with her at all.
She's a fourth grade teacher.
But that was so easy for me.
But then when I got my ownsticky note back, because that
was the end, they were like,whose ever sticky note you have
in your hand, take it to thatperson.
(11:43):
But then reading the commentsthat other people wrote about
me, I was like, Oh, wow, okay.
Like, but I can't pick out thosemany things about my own self.
SPEAKER_06 (11:51):
Why?
Why not?
I don't know.
Well, I mean, go back tosolitude, like the paradox, we
we don't spend timeintentionally with our own
thoughts.
SPEAKER_05 (12:01):
I I did it one time, I had a dry race marker, and I
would every morning I wouldwrite something on my mirror,
uh, just to encourage myself,and then I would write stuff on
my head.
SPEAKER_01 (12:09):
Yeah, after we got married, you brought me in on
that.
SPEAKER_05 (12:12):
Yeah, so I would we had the big mirrors in our in
our bathroom, and so I wouldwrite notes to Jess with a dry
race marker on a mirror, becauseyou can just wipe it off.
Yeah.
Um and then I would writethings, it would be three things
on my mirror I would write everyday that either I wanted to
accomplish or things I likedabout myself or just to
encourage myself.
SPEAKER_01 (12:30):
Encouraging your own self.
SPEAKER_05 (12:31):
Um and I know that sounds and some people think
that sounds silly, but the ideais even like selfish, but yeah,
but no one's everybody's tellingus what we need to change.
No one's really telling us, hey,you are amazing at this because
it feels so self-gratifying.
And so we've uh and I get theidea of like we want to be
(12:51):
better people, we want to be uhmoving forward, we want
progress.
Um so we always try to improvethose areas of our life where we
feel like we're not, I guess, upto where we want to be.
But sometimes we focus so muchon that that we forget what
we're really good at.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (13:06):
And that's there's been very few um spans of time
in my life where I have beenable to say positive things
about myself.
I and you know this.
I I read my own thoughts andabout myself personally in a
very negative filter.
SPEAKER_05 (13:24):
Which is in this is completely interesting to me
because you are the mostencouraging person I've ever
been around.
SPEAKER_06 (13:32):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_05 (13:32):
Like you literally encourage everyone around you,
like even me.
You you'll text me out of theblue and be like, I'm so proud
of you, I love you, I'm sograteful for you.
Like you're you encourage me somuch, but it's so interesting
because you take that into yourrelationship.
SPEAKER_01 (13:50):
Whether you are beating yourself up, but you you
carry that weight in thatrelationship, yeah, and then but
it's really easy for me toencourage others, yeah.
And to pick out like smallthings uh how to encourage other
people.
SPEAKER_06 (14:08):
Like for me, it's fulfilling to encourage others.
But yeah, like I loveencouraging others, absolutely.
But this week has made me thinklike why do I not ever do that
even on a small scale to myself?
SPEAKER_01 (14:21):
Why can't I not make my own heart happy?
SPEAKER_05 (14:24):
Because if we switch that if we switch that like our
challenge was say something youlike about yourself.
SPEAKER_01 (14:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (14:30):
If we challenge that and say, hey, say something you
love about somebody in yourlife.
SPEAKER_01 (14:34):
My gosh, that would be so easy if I were like our
three groups.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (14:39):
That would be crazy.
I could write a page tonight onthat.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:42):
Every day.
I could do that, hands down.
And it makes sense.
SPEAKER_06 (14:44):
But that's crazy to me.
And I know we've talked aboutthis before on the podcast, but
it it makes me go back like weget in our own echo chamber in
our own mind.
And that takes me back to thestatistic where it's the average
mindset of a person in America.
We have a 13 to 1 negativeratio.
We think 13 negative thoughtsabout ourselves to every one
positive thought.
(15:04):
So it's so much easier to lookat someone else.
SPEAKER_01 (15:19):
I don't even like to talk about myself, but like
today we had a team meeting formy grade level, and it was we've
had some changes happen withsome curriculum stuff.
And it's been hard, and it'sgoing to be hard for a little
while.
It's fine.
We're gonna meet the challenge.
But one of my teammates, my nextdoor neighbor on my hallway, she
(15:40):
was so complimentary of me,Dana, of course.
She was so complimentary of howI led that meeting, and my she
even said my countenance, thewords I chose, my tone of voice,
how I led our team through thatdifficult meeting to like help
(16:00):
us put our next foot forward andget a plan and who's doing what,
and this is what it's gonna looklike, and I'm gonna order this
and that and whatever.
Like there was a plan, and I wasjust like, No, I'm just trying
to keep our feet under usbecause this starts Monday and
it it's Tuesday today, you know,when we're recording.
So I was just trying to like,we're gonna stay above water,
(16:21):
we're not gonna drown, here'swhat we're doing.
Um but literally it was justlike a survival mode.
But after the meeting, shepulled me aside and she said,
You did such a good job leadingus just then.
She was like, the w your tone,your even your body language,
and it was just like on and onand on and on.
And I was just thinking, Wow, Iwould have never thought that
(16:43):
about my own self.
But why can I not think thatabout myself?
That's so it's frustrating in myown mind.
SPEAKER_05 (16:52):
Well, since we have a studio audience, um I would
love to involve them becauseit's usually just the three of
us in this room.
So I would love you guys, AJ,tell me uh two things you like
about yourself right now.
And here, you gotta come talk inthe mic.
Yeah, come over.
Set behind the camera.
Yeah, come over to you.
SPEAKER_01 (17:11):
So Henry thinking, Miranda.
SPEAKER_05 (17:13):
And uh behind the camera, put your eyes back in
your forehead, Miranda.
SPEAKER_01 (17:17):
Either way.
SPEAKER_04 (17:22):
I guess right now I really like my job and the job I
provided for myself.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (17:27):
You have worked really hard for your job.
SPEAKER_04 (17:30):
That's something I really like.
SPEAKER_01 (17:31):
Um see, like right now, okay.
You're having trouble thinkingof a second one.
I have I have three or fourlisted in my mind right now for
you.
SPEAKER_04 (17:46):
I just like what I really like myself is how I just
always know how to have a funtime.
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (17:51):
That's one of the ones on my list.
SPEAKER_04 (17:53):
No matter what, like every night this past week, I've
just found something to do tohave fun and enjoy my time and
enjoy the life I've been given.
So I've got it, yeah.
Thank you.
Perfect.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_05 (18:02):
I will tell you this when AJ shows up, I smile.
I immediately start smilingbecause I'm like, we're gonna
have fun.
Yeah, we're gonna have a goodtime.
For sure.
SPEAKER_06 (18:12):
We've hung out like what, five times maybe?
Dude, this is like you're likemy best friend.
SPEAKER_04 (18:17):
Absolutely, like stupid chills.
SPEAKER_05 (18:20):
Oh, absolutely.
I'll just tell you this beforewe start recording in our
garage, we have like a 75-inchTV.
We watch football, Saturday, andthe two of y'all are out there
singing karaoke.
Singing karaoke to the top oftheir line.
Yes, I wouldn't say too aboutproducer Michael and AJ.
SPEAKER_01 (18:37):
Y'all could not be more different.
SPEAKER_06 (18:39):
Oh, like very people.
SPEAKER_01 (18:42):
But also, there's so many simulators that just joy
and enjoying who you're around.
SPEAKER_05 (18:47):
Come on, Miranda.
Get up here.
SPEAKER_01 (18:49):
Come on, Miranda, later.
SPEAKER_05 (18:50):
Miranda won't even get off the couch and get over
here.
Come on, producer Miranda.
SPEAKER_01 (18:54):
Come on.
SPEAKER_06 (18:55):
I will say Producer, birthday girl Miranda.
SPEAKER_01 (18:57):
Producer, birthday girl, Miranda, and I are a lot
alike and our self-talk.
And so I know that this is hardfor you, but I know there's two
things you can say.
SPEAKER_05 (19:11):
We just want recording because most 98%, 99%
of our people listen.
SPEAKER_01 (19:16):
Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_05 (19:17):
So go ahead.
Yeah, just tell us what you got.
SPEAKER_01 (19:19):
Okay, first thing.
SPEAKER_05 (19:20):
Give us two.
SPEAKER_01 (19:21):
My photography.
Yes.
You are such an amazingphotograph.
SPEAKER_05 (19:29):
You want a phenomenal photographer?
SPEAKER_01 (19:31):
Go on Facebook and search you photography.
Simply U photography.
And check this girl out.
Yeah.
If you want to be tan beforeyour photo, you can also search
Simply Tan and she'll make youglow well.
SPEAKER_05 (19:49):
It's really cool to watch her work.
SPEAKER_01 (19:51):
You are an artist many ways.
How sweet Lucy is.
No, okay, that's but say it, butframe, but frame it as a
compliment to yourself.
SPEAKER_04 (20:02):
I am a good mommy.
SPEAKER_01 (20:06):
Yes, you are.
You are such a good mommy.
SPEAKER_05 (20:09):
You are.
SPEAKER_01 (20:10):
You are such a good mommy.
SPEAKER_05 (20:12):
And Miss Lucy's she's asleep, maybe like 15 feet
from us.
SPEAKER_01 (20:17):
Yeah, she's she's sleeping in G and JJ's room.
Okay, Thomas Jack.
SPEAKER_05 (20:22):
All right, hey, no vulgarity.
SPEAKER_01 (20:24):
You can't say bad words.
Firefighter Thomas cannot saybad words.
SPEAKER_02 (20:29):
I like that I like to help people.
SPEAKER_01 (20:32):
Yes.
You're a community helper.
SPEAKER_02 (20:34):
That is a good thing.
SPEAKER_01 (20:36):
That's true.
SPEAKER_02 (20:36):
I mean, I guess I would like to think that I'm a
good dad and husband.
Yeah! Yeah.
I got approval from AJ.
SPEAKER_07 (20:43):
AJ approves.
SPEAKER_05 (20:45):
I would say you guys are.
You guys are phenomenal and veryinvolved parents, which is
really cool to be.
SPEAKER_01 (20:50):
You're very hands-on parents.
SPEAKER_05 (20:52):
Yes.
It's cool.
It's cool to see you.
SPEAKER_01 (20:54):
As hard as it is to have a newborn, and you I mean,
you were literally newlywedswhen you had her, like literally
a year and uh five seconds afteryou got married.
SPEAKER_06 (21:05):
A year and five seconds.
SPEAKER_01 (21:06):
But all of that, y'all are just y'all have taken
it on so well.
And I know there's frustration.
I mean, we're we're parentingadults, and there's still
frustration, but you've done areally good job.
And AJ, I mean, see, here I amcomplimenting y'all.
AJ, your determination isadmirable.
It truly is.
SPEAKER_05 (21:25):
We've watched you go from this struggle and work and
work and work and pay for yourways to smoke house to the
pilot.
Yeah, too.
SPEAKER_01 (21:40):
Yeah, so really nothing.
SPEAKER_06 (21:42):
How do you shift this whole encouragement mindset
to ourselves?
How do we encourage ourselvesmore?
SPEAKER_01 (21:47):
I really do that.
That's what we're here to talkabout.
SPEAKER_05 (22:00):
And it's phenomenal in the in the fact that you can
rewire the way you think.
But we don't we don't do it somany times.
We just get stuck in this rutand we stay there.
And it's like almost changingthe way we think, changing the
way we view ourselves is notit's not an easy thing, but it
can be done.
It just takes us focus and somework on us to be able to do
(22:21):
that.
And so we gotta change somethings up.
Uh we gotta make change happen,but we just totally get stuck in
that and we don't move from it.
Yeah.
So it's a start with the simplething.
So just even if it's a personal,just inner, inner focus kind of
thing.
Because we talked about solitudeand the importance of being
alone.
(22:41):
How it uh and I think it's beingwith our own thoughts and being
okay with those thoughts, ascrazy as they may sound, as um I
mean unorganized as they maysound, like Oh, crazy
unorganized.
Yeah, I'm I'm ADD.
So it's like if I sit by myselfsomewhere.
So you're like 50 differentthoughts you're wrestling
through.
SPEAKER_01 (23:01):
Like Yeah, it's insane.
SPEAKER_05 (23:03):
Well, I mean, I have to work to see focused.
SPEAKER_01 (23:06):
Yeah, not even just by yourself.
Like you you forget to finishlike the last two words of a
sentence.
Although in your brain, you knowwhat you wanted to say.
Oh, I I But as it's coming outof your mouth, you don't finish
the sentence because in yourbrain you're on to the next
three sentences.
You heard that.
SPEAKER_05 (23:23):
I still get caught in the moment.
And I realized, like, AJ and I,I was walking into the house to
get the book, and AJ and I metin the little walkway going to
the house, and we startedtalking and cutting up.
I literally got into the houseand I'm sitting in the kitchen.
We're just laughing, and I'mlike, why did I come into the
house?
SPEAKER_06 (23:39):
I'm sitting there like, I don't even know why I
came here.
You're waiting on him to getback to me and start recording.
SPEAKER_01 (23:45):
And you one of the and I think it's cute.
It's not annoying to me, but oneof these things that you do,
you'll say, Well, I I was gonnahand you this, but I was gonna
go get the.
And then you walk off to dowhatever you do, and I was like,
Okay, I'm gonna go get the what?
SPEAKER_05 (24:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:03):
So thoughts can hurt us though, and like your
thoughts are running so rampantin your head.
My thoughts just you know, youcome to a fork in the road and
you've got, hey, here's positivelane and here's negative down.
Mine, my thoughts go negativeimmediately.
Like and it's just like, nope,that's where we're going.
(24:24):
Yours are like, I don't knowwhere I'm going.
I'm going everywhere.
Well about you.
SPEAKER_06 (24:29):
Just everywhere.
It's everywhere.
There's literally no telling.
SPEAKER_05 (24:32):
I don't and this is this is not a great thing.
I cannot start with that.
Like, this is my protectivemechanism I've I've learned over
counseling.
When someone is very negativetoward me or in me, I just don't
have them in my life.
Like I just eliminate them frommy life.
Because I'm like, I don't wantthat, I don't need that, I don't
need that distraction, and Idon't need anyone to beat me
(24:54):
down.
SPEAKER_01 (24:54):
I mean, yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (24:55):
It's a kind of a safety net for me because
growing up with my dad being Imean, I I was called anything
you can think of, I was calledby my dad.
Like I was yeah.
And so it's like I dealt withthat for a long time, and then I
got a part where I was like, Idon't really care what you think
about me.
Like the people I care thatthink about me are the people
that are closest to me.
(25:16):
Like the people in this room arewhat matter to me.
And so that's the what theythink of me matters.
Outside of that, I'm kind oflike whatever.
That's that's cool you thinkthat way, but I don't really
care.
SPEAKER_01 (25:27):
Like So you think that transfers to your
self-talk?
SPEAKER_05 (25:31):
I think so a lot, because I'm just like, yeah, I
don't know.
It's like reading the it's likereading the negative comments in
uh in a social feed.
Like and I I found myself doingthis.
I'm s I'm more intrigued withthe comment section of TikTok
than I am the actual video.
So as soon as I watch the video,sometimes I hit pause and I go
straight to the comments.
(25:51):
Absolutely.
It's always the comments.
SPEAKER_01 (25:53):
It's so rare for me to do that.
And really?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (25:57):
I'm always doing that.
And it's just immediately itgoes to negative.
People immediately go tonegative screenshot.
SPEAKER_01 (26:02):
Well, it's so funny that you said that because a
friend of mine sent me like ascreenshot of comments.
It was like an educationalcontent TikTok, but she had
pulled up the comments andscreenshotted that and sent it
to me.
And I I was just like, Do weknow some of these people who
are commenting?
She was like, No, just look atwhat they're saying.
(26:24):
Like, we can identify with this,this, this, and this.
And I was like, oh, okay.
I didn't think about that part.
I'm like, do we know some ofthese people who are saying
this?
SPEAKER_05 (26:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (26:32):
So I I don't I don't know.
It's just it's interesting howmy own mind works as we're
talking about this.
Like I hear that.
SPEAKER_06 (26:40):
Well, and I got to thinking, I mean, just as we
were we were talking through itas our our participation
audience was um, I dropped myfidget to wing it.
You know, just sitting here andencouraging one another, man.
Like one, I don't and whentalking to listeners, I don't
know where where y'all are at,but like there is something so
fulfilling and encouraging anduplifting about encouraging
(27:02):
others.
Yeah.
And and I sit back and I'm like,gosh, why can't I do that to
myself?
Yes, why can't I do that tomyself?
And then it like it takes meback, and I know we shared a
little bit about this lastepisode, but like there's been a
time in my life where I wasencouraged by how I encouraged
myself, if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_01 (27:23):
It does, it does when you say it, but can I tell
you, I've never had a span oftime in my life where I've
thought that way of my own self.
SPEAKER_06 (27:31):
So you never had you never pep talk yourself?
SPEAKER_01 (27:34):
No, never.
Ever.
SPEAKER_06 (27:36):
There was a season, especially after going through
divorce, like I did it all thetime.
And mind you, I was also goingthrough counseling, going
through a lot of things, and Italked about everything that
went through my mind.
Greg, you know, like I didn'thold anything back.
I talked about everything that Iwas going through in my
thoughts.
SPEAKER_01 (27:51):
Okay.
I don't mean to interrupt you.
No, you're fine.
There was maybe like a six-monthperiod when I was a widow where
I'd worked my butt off to get myfeet back under myself, get a
routine, get just get mine andThomas and Aaron Grace's life
together.
Where I was like, I'm doing it.
I'm doing it.
I'm doing it.
(28:12):
I can do this, I am doing it.
And I could tell myself thatdaily.
And that's when my counselor waslike, and that's when somebody's
gonna come into your life thatwants to date you and marry you,
and you're gonna be like, don'tmess this up.
When we met, I was veryconfident.
I can say that.
SPEAKER_05 (28:28):
You were very much, I don't need anything.
And that was probably the mostattractive thing for me to be
like, oh, she's got her stufftogether.
SPEAKER_01 (28:35):
I didn't need to.
SPEAKER_05 (28:35):
Like you were running your subdivision, you
would run around yoursubdivision uh in country walk
uh every so often.
I was just like, okay.
As well as all the other Yeah,you were like doing the after
school.
SPEAKER_01 (28:47):
I pushed a car up a hill.
SPEAKER_05 (28:48):
Yeah, you did.
You told me about it.
But it was interesting becauseyou you had such a confidence
about yourself.
SPEAKER_01 (28:55):
Yeah.
But it wasn't just the workingout or whatever.
It was like, no, I was I wasrunning my life.
SPEAKER_05 (29:03):
Yeah, it does.
I mean, all of that does havelike what you eat, what you put
into your body has uh affectsall of and here's the thing, and
another- I felt guilty yesterdaybecause I ate three pieces of
candy at school.
SPEAKER_01 (29:14):
I was stressed out.
SPEAKER_05 (29:15):
So I know some of you may be listening to this and
going, okay, I thought this wasabout relationships, thought it
was about marriage.
But I'm telling you, if youdon't believe how you think
about yourself, how you seeyourself affects your
relationships, pull your headout of the sand and join the
real world because it 1,000%directly reflects how you speak
(29:36):
to, how you react to, how youcommunicate, and how you talk to
your significant others.
SPEAKER_01 (29:42):
Whether or not I enjoy spending time alone or
just doing my own thing, I doknow that there are things that
I do that are my own thing thatmake me feel better.
SPEAKER_07 (29:51):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (29:52):
Like working out every day makes me feel better.
As silly as it sounds, gettingto read for thirty 45 minutes
before I go to bed.
It makes me feel better.
SPEAKER_05 (30:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (30:03):
Like just little things.
SPEAKER_05 (30:05):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because we we say I've said itonce, I'll say it a thousand
times.
And I'll keep saying it.
I'll keep beating the drum.
If you want to have a greatmarriage, be a very, very
healthy person.
SPEAKER_06 (30:14):
Great you.
Yeah.
Be the best version of it.
I mean, how are you, and youknow, if you're in a marriage
relationship and you're saying,you know, till death do us part,
this is something you want to befor the rest of your life.
If you can't wrestle the ownissues in your own mind, how are
you supposed to wrestle theissues between you and a spouse?
SPEAKER_01 (30:30):
Well, for crying out loud, if you want to be a good
friend, you need to be a goodyou.
SPEAKER_06 (30:35):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (30:36):
It's not just about marriage.
If you want to be a good friend,if you want to be a good parent,
a sibling, if you want to be agood you in a relationship,
you've got to be a good youfirst.
Like you can't you can't bringan unhealthy person into any
kind of relationship.
SPEAKER_05 (30:51):
Trevor Burrus, Jr.: So we talked about this idea of
the solitude paradox of beingalone makes you better with
others.
So we talked about being okayand sitting in yourself, sitting
in your own thoughts.
So what does that look like?
Help me help me understand whatthat looks like, what that means
for you guys to sit.
SPEAKER_01 (31:09):
Well, it's different for all three of us sitting here
at this table.
SPEAKER_05 (31:12):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (31:13):
I mean, I just said what what it what it is for me.
It's getting to go to the gymand or getting to read or just
having a few minutes todecompress where I don't have to
say words.
Because at work for me, becauseI'm a teacher, I say five
million, thousand, trillionwords a day.
And I have to make a hundredchoices a minute and you know,
(31:36):
all of the things that areincorporated in my job.
So I think it's like well,because I spend so much time
with other people and doingthings with other people,
although they're littles, it'shard for me to switch gears to
be like, here's what I need formyself.
Because my days are long.
And when I get home, it's like,no, I want to be with you, I
(31:58):
want to be with the kids, I wantto be with Lucy.
And it's just like, it's hard tomake that choice of no, what do
I really need?
Although I know what it is.
SPEAKER_05 (32:07):
Well, because there's there's many people out
there whose lives are extremelybusy and full of stuff and full
of activities.
SPEAKER_01 (32:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (32:13):
But the idea is if you don't figure out how to take
just a few minutes of time tocenter yourself and ground
yourself, then you're not beingthe best version of your stuff.
SPEAKER_01 (32:21):
I don't have anything to give if I don't do
that.
Right.
SPEAKER_06 (32:24):
For me, you know, going back to the when I do have
solitude, when I work on mythoughts, or when I just have
thoughts, like I get so manythoughts.
So many.
And especially like the negativethoughts, like just hounding at
me, like, why aren't you workingout more?
You know, why why haven't youlost more weight than you
already are?
You know, you should be betterthan where you're at.
(32:45):
Why aren't you doing more atwork?
You should be accomplishingmore.
Why haven't you done more onyour barn that you're building?
Like all these things, like,hey, you know, I wish I could
see the end result, but I'm not,because I haven't done all the
small steps to it.
But then uh it's so easy to getdrowned out with that.
And one thing that I I wentthrough in counseling um a
couple of years ago was uh wesat down and we were like, look,
(33:07):
it's it's not wrong to copesometimes to distract yourself
from the thoughts becausesometimes they can just
overwhelm you so much to thepoint that it can lead to
anxiety, it can lead todepression and all these things.
But the reality is coping andthriving cannot coexist.
So it was a matter of beingintentional to take a moment and
(33:30):
say, I'm not distracting myselffrom my thoughts.
I'm going to be intentional tobe alone and I'm gonna latch on
to one thought and I'm gonnanail it down.
Yep.
And I'm gonna complete thatthought.
Um, so for me, what that helpedwith, because and and I don't
know if this is just a me thingor if you all have had this, but
whenever you have a thought thatcomes out at you that you feel
(33:52):
negative towards yourself, thatthought is going to be
recurring.
So I've had that thought lastweek.
Well, it's gonna happen againtoday, it's gonna happen again
tomorrow, and it's gonna happenagain next week.
And so for me, it was a matterof taking that one thought and
wrestling it down.
And if it came down to saying,okay, no, you're believing in a
lie that maybe someone has saidabout you or that you have a
(34:14):
preconceived idea about you, youneed to stop believing in that
lie and here's why.
Or if it's true and I need tochange, start making that
change.
Gotcha.
Because then when the next daycomes and that thought comes
back, I already have the answerto that thought.
I don't have to reprocess thatwhole thought.
(34:34):
That thought already has alreadybeen finalized.
So if it comes down to, youknow, hey, what did I work
through in my divorce?
Okay, was that my issue?
Was that something I need tochange?
Okay, well, then either one,work on changing that.
That way, tomorrow when thethought comes back, you say, No,
that thought's not gonna hinderme anymore because I'm already
working on it.
I'm changing that about myself,or saying, no, that thought's a
(34:57):
lie.
I'm not gonna believe it.
And don't get me wrong, it takestime because, like for me,
especially when I was goingthrough divorce, like tons,
dozens and dozens of thosethoughts.
And I had to take numerousnights where I never slept,
numerous nights, like all thesetimes that I had to wrestle
these thoughts.
And sometimes I had to journalit.
Sometimes I had to work on itfor an hour and then get away
(35:18):
and distract myself, then comeback to it and keep thinking
about it.
But the significant change forme, where it became an
encouragement to me, wasfinalizing those thoughts when I
had them so that they didn'tdrown me.
SPEAKER_01 (35:31):
That's what I was about to say.
You worked through them and youwrestled them down to a place
where you could there was an endpoint and then you move forward.
I have not been able to get tothat place for myself because if
even if it's like a negativethought I made up in my own
head, which most of them are,um, or if it's something, a
(35:53):
negative thought that's actuallytrue, I cannot, I can't, it just
keeps cycling.
It's just a it just cyclesthrough.
I may forget about it for alittle while, but it always
comes back.
So this is something I very,very, very much struggle with.
Very much.
SPEAKER_05 (36:10):
But I almost think it's that's the importance of
having somebody in your life whois like honest with you, like
real and honest.
SPEAKER_06 (36:19):
It goes that you're almost like, hey, is this the
truth or is this a live made my-Bro, you and I, like, okay, my
divorce was like what two yearsago?
SPEAKER_05 (36:26):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (36:26):
And not three months ago in this room after
recording, we stayed till likeone o'clock in the morning.
Like, just in me, I got crazyemotional that night because I'm
like, dude, I am resurfacingthese things I thought I dealt
with, and it's hitting me upsidethe head like crazy.
Yeah.
And I mean, seriously like, Imean, I'm just not gonna lie, I
was balling my eyes out thatnight.
Like I was going through a lot.
(36:46):
And I was like, dude, tell me,like, speak truth into me right
now.
I don't care if it's gonna hurtme.
I don't care if it's gonnaencourage me, speak the truth so
I know where to move forwardwith.
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (36:58):
That is one thing you're being good at, though.
SPEAKER_06 (37:00):
Radically change that night was in a massive
turning point for me.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (37:04):
Well, even just little things.
I and I know, I I think you'rethe greatest thing that there
ever was, ever.
But like even on the days, mostof the days, where I couldn't
come up with anything positiveto say about myself, and I would
talk to you about it, and youwould say, You can teach little
people to read.
Like it was just very what Ithink are basic things like,
(37:27):
well, that's my job, but noteverybody can do my job.
You know, it was just you'revery good at encouraging people
by that, and I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_05 (37:35):
Well, it's you you look at people, it's how you
choose to look at people.
Like you choose to see thepositive, you choose to see the
good things in them, or you canchoose to see the crap you don't
like.
SPEAKER_06 (37:44):
And you'll always find what you're looking for.
SPEAKER_05 (37:46):
Right.
100%.
100%.
That's such a true statement.
And it's so I'm I'm so sick ofliving in a world where
everybody tells us the things weneed to change and be like,
okay, I get it.
We want to we want to improve,want to be better.
Like, dude, we're reading thebook we talked about last week.
Um, comfort crisis.
Like, hey, don't be comfortable,keep pushing.
(38:07):
Well, I do that so much.
Sometimes I lose sight of thethings that are now.
SPEAKER_01 (38:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (38:12):
I'm like, this, but let's enjoy the journey.
Like this this is a journeywe're on.
We're like, we're never gettingtoday back.
Today's gone.
SPEAKER_07 (38:20):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (38:20):
Like whatever you did today, that's gone.
Those those those are memoriesnow.
Whatever you get to do tomorrow,you get to pr you get to choose
that.
You get to predict that.
You get to like you, and somethings are thrown your way that
you don't get to choose.
But you know what?
You get to choose how to reactto it.
And so that's the that's thething that I in relationships
and marriage and for yourself,I'm like, bro, just take a
(38:43):
minute, take a deep breath,relax, and just focus on some
good and encourage each other.
Say something sweet, saysomething positive about your
significant other, say somethingpositive about the other person
in your life.
It's not hard.
It takes just a few minutes.
You're not that busy.
If you say you're too busy,you're I'm sorry, you're just
(39:04):
you're that's a lie.
SPEAKER_06 (39:05):
And you stop stop lying yourself.
Trevor Burrus, Jr.
Well, and if you look at thedifference, there is a book I
read, gosh, when I was incollege so long ago, uh, The
Compound Effect by Darren Hardy.
Um, I can't even believe Iremember who wrote that book.
But uh the the concept is thisis he's saying, like, if you're
on a 10-mile trek and you veeroff by one degree to the right,
(39:28):
over that 10 miles, you'll be sofar off your point.
So just that super small shiftseems like absolutely nothing.
We wouldn't even consider it tobe an issue.
But over 10 miles, that'stremendous.
And you think you say, justfocus on the good.
Focus on what is encouraging anduplifting, and not only just for
(39:49):
you, but maybe your your spouseor your kids or your
friendships, your relationships,your co-workers, your boss,
focus on what's good.
Imagine two years from now whatthat's gonna look like.
SPEAKER_01 (40:02):
That's true.
My mom has always said about me,I'm a silver lining girl.
Like I could be delivered theworst news, and I have been.
But even just like things thathappen in our family, like she
says, I can find the silverlining, which is easy for me to
do in a big, like big situation,like a um, you know, overall
(40:24):
scenario.
And even if I boil it down to,you know, if one of my friends
or uh one of our family membersis having a hard time, I can
find that, but I can't alwaysfind that for my own self.
So I feel like like I know we'vebeen talking about and maybe
this is unpack.
We usually kind of talk aboutwhere we want to unpack before
(40:47):
we get here, but here we are.
SPEAKER_06 (40:48):
I feel like we've kind of been unpacking
progressively, excuse me.
SPEAKER_01 (40:51):
I feel like for unpack, like I know we've been
talking a lot about solitude andself-talk and those kinds of
things, but I feel like a reallybig thing is whether it's your
spouse or a friend or a teammateor a coworker or just a trusted
somebody that can help you helpremind you of those good things
of your about yourself becauseI'm sorry.
(41:14):
People like me who lose sight ofthe positive things about my own
self daily.
I have people like Greg andMichael and our kids, and I have
friends and coworkers that canvery easily just at the snap of
a finger tell me somethingpositive about myself to bring
me back on course.
SPEAKER_05 (41:40):
So here here's so here's here's one thing I would
like to here's one thing I wouldlike to do, kind of a shift from
what we did last week.
Because we said say something uhthat you like about yourself.
So I would I would say thisweek, shift.
Do it, do it, do still do your10 minutes of solitude, quiet,
(42:02):
no radio, no nothing, justsilent, wherever you are, if
it's sitting outside, riding inthe car, whatever it may be.
Um but as a result of that.
You okay?
Say something you like aboutsomeone important in your life.
Say something encouraging tothem.
(42:23):
Whether it's a boss, a coworker,a spouse, if you have a spouse,
significant other, somebody youwork with, take two people each
day and say somethingencouraging to the actually tell
them.
Yeah, you can text them, you cansay it to their face, uh, text
them or say it to their face orwhatever.
Just two things or just onething you like about them to two
(42:44):
different people each day.
It's not that much.
No.
You're talking about two text.
SPEAKER_01 (42:48):
That's gonna be so much easier than saying things I
like about my own self.
SPEAKER_05 (42:52):
But I want to encourage you, spend some time
alone and think about thosethings.
Like continue to wrestle thosethoughts, continue to to spend
those, but then say those twothings or the the one thing to
two different people that areimportant in your life and just
encourage them.
And I hope if you're married oryou have a single one of those
is that person.
SPEAKER_01 (43:11):
I it may be hard for you to take in what somebody
says that's positive about yourown self, especially if you view
yourself in such a negativelight.
And that's gonna be part of thechallenge too, though.
Sometimes just is to be able tosee it and say thank you.
SPEAKER_05 (43:27):
Thank you.
It's not wrong to just say thankyou.
No, it's not.
Say thank you.
I appreciate that.
Like that's an easy thing.
Because if we don't start toshift the way we think, the way
we see people, the way we seeourselves, it it directly
reflects the relationships inour lives, the closest ones to
us, all of them that are aroundus.
So um it's a huge shift, butit's a big one.
(43:50):
But it's one of those things youhave to unpack.
You have to unpack it if youwant to be healthy.
SPEAKER_07 (43:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (43:56):
Uh and you have to face it.
And so it's just this is what itis.
So are we good with those twochallenges?
I'm good with that.
SPEAKER_01 (44:04):
I love it.
SPEAKER_05 (44:05):
And so I I want to encourage um people, I I want to
see this on social media ofpeople encouraging each other
instead of the the the reverseof us uh us cutting each other
down.
So take some time, encouragesomebody, uh, give them that
avoidance.
If someone is uh posting, butyou may you may not have to
agree with them, that's okay.
(44:26):
Uh just if you don't agree withthem, you don't like what
they're saying, just keepscrolling.
That's what uh go somewhereelse.
But just be encouraging tosomeone.
SPEAKER_07 (44:33):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (44:33):
So and lift somebody up.
Say something positive.
So solitude is it's a beautifulthing.
It's a hard thing.
Scary thing.
It's scary.
Oh, it's scary.
Um I love it.
SPEAKER_01 (44:45):
Um I don't love it.
SPEAKER_05 (44:47):
I today I was working on a rental house and I
got there, and um there was thisthis is weird, it felt really
weird.
If you would have seen me, you'dbe like, This guy's a
psychopath.
Uh, because I literally just itwas cold outside this morning
here in Georgia.
And I'd been working and I justsat in the chair and the radio
was off and everything.
I just sat there and it wasquiet.
(45:07):
And I just sat there for just afew just a little while and just
listened.
It was just kind of just tryingto take it all in.
It was kind of you enjoy that.
I do.
SPEAKER_01 (45:17):
I do not.
SPEAKER_06 (45:19):
I did that in the car today.
I was I drove about five hourstoday, and for about an hour I
just radio off, music off,everything off.
SPEAKER_05 (45:26):
Yeah.
Just be in your thoughts, man.
Be good, be okay with yourself.
Sit in that.
That's a beautiful thing.
SPEAKER_01 (45:34):
Thank you to our friends who are going on this
journey with us.
SPEAKER_06 (45:37):
Yes.
So please.
Yeah, and I would encourage you,like, if this is out of your
comfort zone, like for ourlisteners, like try it.
unknown (45:45):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (45:45):
If it's if it makes you uncomfortable, that's more
of a reason to do it.
SPEAKER_06 (45:50):
Yes.
SPEAKER_05 (45:50):
Yeah, that's even more of a reason to do it.
If you're comfortable doing it,then that's an easy thing.
Like, do something that makesyou kind of all uh feel
uncomfortable.
Yeah.
So, but thank you guys forjoining us.
Uh thank you for continuing tospread the word.
Um, we keep we keep growing, wekeep reaching different
countries, different cities.
SPEAKER_06 (46:09):
Hegan, isn't this week over 2,000 downloads for
us?
Yeah.
We're over 2,000.
SPEAKER_01 (46:13):
2,000 pretty big.
And we're in 13 countries now.
SPEAKER_05 (46:19):
Over 175 cities.
That's wild.
All over the place.
We sure would see.
SPEAKER_01 (46:24):
Maybe we should say this at the beginning of a
podcast.
We sure would love to hear fromsome of you folks.
Fu fukes.
I have a cough drop in my mouth.
Some of you folks that arelistening.
SPEAKER_05 (46:34):
That means people.
All you guys.
Folks, folks.
Which is a very southern term.
SPEAKER_01 (46:39):
You're gonna make me cough again.
SPEAKER_05 (46:43):
So uh like we really be.
And if you've listened thislong, thank you.
Uh you can uh you can shoot us atext from the podcast.
Uh you can catch us on all oursocials wherever we're at.
Make sure to connect with us.
If you have something you wantto talk about, let us know.
(47:04):
Uh thanks for sharing.
Thanks for uh subscribing, forfollowing us on all of our
platforms.
And we're just gonna keeprecording and keep producing as
long as you keep listening andkeep sharing.
Yes.
Yeah.
So thank you guys.
And um, you know, go dogs.
SPEAKER_01 (47:20):
Go dogs.
SPEAKER_05 (47:20):
Go dogs.
Oh, we got a big game this week,isn't it?
We did.
SPEAKER_01 (47:23):
Georgia, Florida.
Yeah, so it's Gator Hater.
SPEAKER_05 (47:26):
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, beautiful game.
Love it.
Oh, yeah.
So uh thank you guys.
Have a uh have a good rest ofyour day and uh change some
loves.
Yeah.
So you guys, see you all.
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