November 11, 2025 • 35 mins
Ever feel the heat rise in a conversation and think, I don’t even know what I’m feeling right now? We’ve been there. Today we take a fun detour through cereal nostalgia and land somewhere powerful: how emotional intelligence can turn tense moments into real understanding at home, in blended families, and on your team at work.
We start by grounding EI in simple terms—recognize, understand, manage—and show why order matters. You’ll hear how “I’m fine” blocks growth, why naming the exact emotion unlocks better choices, and how a quick perspective trick proves that two people can both be right depending on where they stand. We share our own missteps and the patterns that kept us stuck: smoothing over conflict, chasing peace at any cost, or assuming the other person should just know. Then we model phrases that shift the tone without diluting the truth, like “Help me understand what made you feel that” and asking for a little time when words aren’t ready.
You’ll also get a practical weekly practice: name it, ask why, then choose one step. It works whether the issue is a loaded dishwasher, a tight bank account, or a tough meeting. Along the way we highlight how humility fuels emotional growth, how blame stalls it, and how small language cues create safety so both sides can speak plainly. If you’re navigating marriage, co‑parenting, or leadership, these tools help you pause the spiral, find your footing, and move forward together with less static and more clarity.
If this resonates, tap follow, share the episode with a friend who loves real talk, and leave a quick review with the emotion you named this week. Your stories keep this community growing.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm Greg.
I hope you guys are ready tounpack and get into some good
conversations today.
SPEAKER_05 (00:07):
And I'm Dennis, and this is our podcast, Baggage
Claim.
Thank you for joining us.
SPEAKER_00 (00:16):
What's up, Baggage Claim?
How's everybody doing out there?
Thank you guys so much for uhgiving us a try and listening to
us.
If this is your first time here,it's your first time here, thank
you.
I'm so excited.
Grab your favorite drink,whatever that may be, pull up to
the table with us, and we'regonna get into some uh some good
(00:36):
discussion and conversations.
Baggage Claim is a place wherewe hope to create some community
and some conversations aroundrelationships, marriages, and
blended families and not blendedfamilies, just in relationships,
whatever it may be.
Yeah, just being a person.
And so if you guys are aregular, thank you so much for
being here, coming back, and youjust keep coming back.
SPEAKER_05 (00:59):
And I I can't think about We have added more cities
and more, literally morecountries.
SPEAKER_00 (01:05):
We have since our last one.
So we continue to grow just justto tease this out that I know
probably you guys aren't asexcited about this as we are.
Okay, but uh this is episode 36.
We're coming upon 50, and sowe're gonna do something really
fun for our uh 50th episode.
We're not gonna share.
SPEAKER_05 (01:23):
We're hopeful.
There's plans.
SPEAKER_00 (01:26):
There's plans out and we're gonna make it happen.
Okay, do we gotta figure it out?
So it's gonna be fun, and youguys will get to be a part of
that.
Just as this is my only teaserfor we will have a live
audience.
And so and we'll do questionanswers, all kind of fun stuff.
SPEAKER_05 (01:40):
You know what I'm so excited about?
SPEAKER_00 (01:42):
What's that?
SPEAKER_05 (01:43):
So before each what'd you say?
SPEAKER_04 (01:46):
So say what are you excited about?
SPEAKER_05 (01:47):
Oh, okay.
Um, before each episode, we do aclap, and we've talked about it
before and how I giggle everytime.
So today I did not laugh.
And so that's a momentousoccasion because we're welcoming
back a team member that's beenon hiatus.
SPEAKER_00 (02:02):
She's been in rehab.
No, I'm just kidding.
She's not.
She had a baby.
SPEAKER_05 (02:08):
Our daughter-in-law.
SPEAKER_00 (02:11):
Just say that.
Let me say that.
There's nothing wrong withrehab.
SPEAKER_05 (02:13):
Our daughter-in-law Miranda is back on the team.
So, producer Michael, that's histitle.
Miranda, do you have a title?
SPEAKER_04 (02:20):
She left as the titles were starting to become
official.
So we'll put on you for her.
SPEAKER_01 (02:26):
No, no, no, no, no, not right now.
No.
It's gotta happen.
Let it happen.
So you're just trying to make ithappen.
It's gotta come naturally.
I'm sorry, I'm trying to forceit.
Walk away from it.
SPEAKER_05 (02:35):
Miranda's back.
So we're so excited about that.
But she clapped us in and Ididn't laugh.
I didn't kill.
I it's a big deal.
Okay.
It's a big deal.
SPEAKER_00 (02:47):
Well, let's jump right into uh question 10.
I forgot.
So um right.
Yeah, you're not doing a goodjob of singing, but go ahead.
SPEAKER_04 (02:55):
I like how when we first started, y'all told us
that all of us had to sing that.
And you had like the I'm theonly one that's been singing.
SPEAKER_05 (03:03):
Because you are a professional singer still.
SPEAKER_00 (03:05):
That is different.
You get paid to sing.
We don't know about that.
Question.
Give me your question.
Noted.
SPEAKER_05 (03:11):
My question is what's your favorite cereal?
SPEAKER_00 (03:13):
Ooh, gosh, I could go on about this.
SPEAKER_05 (03:17):
I know.
I have two answers for for myown question.
SPEAKER_00 (03:20):
Okay.
Okay, give it to me.
SPEAKER_05 (03:22):
Okay.
So regular, just like, I'm gonnaeat a bowl of cere bowl of
cereal.
I feel like I'm gonna go frostedflakes.
SPEAKER_00 (03:29):
Ooh.
Okay.
It's an everyday.
What's your special occasionthen?
SPEAKER_05 (03:33):
Special occasion is just go with me because you know
how much I love peanut butter.
SPEAKER_00 (03:37):
Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_05 (03:38):
And you know how much I love peanut butter toast,
like I'm 12.
A bowl of honey nut Cheerioswith a piece of peanut butter
toast.
SPEAKER_03 (03:47):
That actually sounds really good.
That sounds so adulted, adultthing.
SPEAKER_05 (03:51):
But I've been I have been eating that that since I
was little.
SPEAKER_00 (03:55):
My my like my everyday eater, if I'm gonna eat
it everyday, honeycomb.
I can eat an entire box ofhoneycombs.
SPEAKER_05 (04:02):
We used to buy how many boxes of the family size
honeycombs when the kids weregrowing up?
The giant suitcase size, and wewould run out.
SPEAKER_00 (04:10):
Now, for special occasion, yeah, like I'm gonna
treat myself it's a captaincrunch.
But you can only eat so muchbecause it makes it very captain
crunch or like the OG straight.
SPEAKER_04 (04:22):
Okay, I can do it with that.
SPEAKER_05 (04:23):
I do though, okay.
I'll add a third.
I do like what you refer to asold lady cereal.
The honey bunches of oats.
SPEAKER_04 (04:29):
Oh my god.
Come on, grandma.
I'm eating honey bunches ofoats.
There's actually a lot ofcereals I can get down with.
unknown (04:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (04:37):
Jess used to eat this really crappy cereal.
It was like kettlebells and ithad these dried strawberries in
it.
SPEAKER_05 (04:42):
No, I didn't do the strawberries.
That was Cody.
SPEAKER_00 (04:44):
No, Cody started strip mining all your
strawberries.
He would get the box and all thedried strawberries out of it.
He and I made a deal.
SPEAKER_05 (04:52):
He and I made a deal because I didn't love the
strawberry part.
I wanted the healthy part.
And so I was, he was like, I'lleat the strawberry, the dried
strawberry.
Okay, if you wash your hands,we'll we'll you can.
SPEAKER_04 (05:04):
Okay, that works.
Strawberries are healthy.
SPEAKER_05 (05:05):
I don't know.
It just didn't feel like it was.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_04 (05:08):
Here's my thing, and this one's gonna be completely
out there because like no oneelse likes this.
But this was my grandfather'sfavorite cereal.
Great.
This is what I love.
SPEAKER_05 (05:15):
No.
We talked about that?
No.
SPEAKER_04 (05:18):
Grape nuts.
Oh my god.
Grape nuts.
SPEAKER_05 (05:22):
The blue sweetener, what's that equate?
SPEAKER_03 (05:25):
The chemical?
SPEAKER_05 (05:27):
The chemical sugar.
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (05:28):
It's the blue equal, yeah.
Oh yeah, it's definitely grape.
SPEAKER_05 (05:31):
Equate is the uh Walmart brand of things, isn't
it?
SPEAKER_04 (05:34):
I don't know, maybe.
But that's like my nostalgia.
I love it.
That literally just makes methink of my grandfather.
SPEAKER_01 (05:40):
Thinking about that deal.
SPEAKER_04 (05:43):
Yes, it is.
A lot of fiber.
Uh, but like my like all-timefavorite is actually a mix of
cereals.
So you have to take goldencrisps, which this is like an
old school cereal.
The only way you can get it nowis like an off-brand at Walmart
because like no one else makesit.
SPEAKER_05 (06:00):
Because they taste like graham crackers and they're
so good.
SPEAKER_04 (06:02):
And you mix that with cocoa puffs.
SPEAKER_05 (06:05):
Okay.
SPEAKER_04 (06:06):
Cocoa.
Like half and half, but cocoapuffs have to be on the bottom.
SPEAKER_01 (06:10):
Okay.
SPEAKER_04 (06:10):
So that it blends in the milk more.
So you got chocolate milk by theend of the day.
SPEAKER_00 (06:14):
See, I don't like cereal that changes the color of
milk.
Oh, Cocoa Krispies.
If you do that, that's whereit's okay.
SPEAKER_05 (06:21):
Here's another place where y'all can make fun of me.
When I eat cereal, I don't wantthe milk part.
I just want the milk to get thecereal wet.
SPEAKER_04 (06:28):
Savagery.
SPEAKER_05 (06:29):
I know.
SPEAKER_04 (06:29):
That's like barbarianism.
SPEAKER_03 (06:30):
Yeah, you can't.
SPEAKER_05 (06:31):
I don't like milk.
The milk is just purely forfunction.
SPEAKER_03 (06:35):
It's the essence of cereal.
It is literally.
Have you ever had cereal withoutmilk?
SPEAKER_04 (06:41):
Yes.
That's disgusting.
SPEAKER_03 (06:42):
Now, I mean, I'm not talking like if you're just like
dry eating cereal.
SPEAKER_05 (06:48):
Oh no, I know what you're about to say.
Oh.
You didn't want to be clear.
SPEAKER_00 (06:51):
One time I wanted to have some cereal really, really
bad.
And we didn't have any meal.
The only thing we had was water.
Not we, me.
I had water.
Tell me you are a beer.
Either way.
So I poured the beer in thefrosted flakes.
SPEAKER_05 (07:08):
No, I thought I thought it was Fruit Loops.
SPEAKER_00 (07:10):
No, I think it was Frosted Flakes.
SPEAKER_05 (07:11):
You ruined that.
SPEAKER_00 (07:12):
It was horrible.
It was horrible.
I mean, I think that's saying Iwas desperate, but I was it was
horrible.
Yeah.
All right, Miranda, you didn'tanswer.
SPEAKER_03 (07:21):
What's your favorite cereal?
SPEAKER_01 (07:22):
Special K.
SPEAKER_00 (07:24):
Oh my gosh.
That's what my grandma Theberries.
Berries kind.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (07:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (07:28):
Him and Nanny would have been great together.
They were.
SPEAKER_05 (07:31):
You and Nanny were great together.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (07:35):
Special K.
SPEAKER_05 (07:36):
Yeah.
Miranda and Nanny were greattogether.
SPEAKER_00 (07:38):
Remember Special K came out though?
It had like the half-naked womanin like a Leotard or something.
SPEAKER_05 (07:43):
It wore a red bathing suit.
SPEAKER_00 (07:44):
Yes.
SPEAKER_05 (07:45):
That was so weird.
And she was supposed to matchthe logo.
The K is red.
She was supposed to match that.
SPEAKER_00 (07:50):
Anyway.
Interesting.
All right.
So I had a question, but wespent what's going on.
Yeah, we're like almost eightminutes in.
I think we're we'll do that nextquick next time.
This uh this would be my Youshould write down.
Now I'm gonna just gonna teasethe question out, and you guys
will I'm gonna write a part ofit down.
Every time you use the restroomin public, do you make a nest or
not?
Absolutely.
I don't want to start and talkabout it.
(08:11):
That's a yes or a no.
No, it's not.
And then my second part of thatquestion was where is the most
interesting place you've everwent to the restroom?
So, with that being said, we'regoing to jump in.
We're gonna dive into a uh atopic completely different from
what we just talked about, andit's not even remotely close to
(08:33):
the same.
And and this topic's gonna be alittle different for us too
because we always have ourunpack at the end.
We're probably gonna unpack alot as we go through this.
So just bear with us, hang inthere.
Um I hope you guys, the the lastthing, I hope you guys really
participated in the uh, youknow, take some time, take 10
(08:54):
minutes.
Um and it could change yourrelationships, take some time.
Uh, we talked about solitude, wetalked about a lot of things,
self-talk, all those aboutencouraging each other and
saying things you like aboutyourself.
I hope you guys participate inthat.
Please post those.
SPEAKER_05 (09:09):
We have I had a hard time with that.
SPEAKER_00 (09:11):
Oh, we know.
We talked about that too.
So make sure that you postthose, let us know.
We want to hear what you likeabout yourself.
Brag on yourself a little bit.
But with that being said, itkind of leads us into a topic
that doesn't get a whole lot ofum, I don't know, you guessing
it all, it's getting more uhconversations, more books, more
(09:33):
uh talks, more emphasis uh thanthan it has in the past.
But I think it's a huge part ofour relationships, um, and our
personal ones and ourprofessional ones and all of
those, it's this idea ofemotional intelligence.
Um and when I say emotionalintelligence, you may be like,
what?
SPEAKER_05 (09:52):
What do you mean?
SPEAKER_00 (09:53):
What are you talking about?
I mean, there's this there's uha thing called Syria, you can
ask her for the actualdefinition.
But Michael, would you would youcare to read us the actual
official definition of whatemotional intelligence is?
SPEAKER_04 (10:10):
The ability to recognize, understand, and
manage your own emotions andunderstand the influence of the
emotion of others.
SPEAKER_00 (10:21):
That's a lot.
That is a lot.
So we're we're going to try andunpack that idea, that concept,
and the idea of marriage and howthat works in everyday life.
SPEAKER_05 (10:34):
While you were reading it, I was like, okay,
what was the key word for me?
But there there's a lot of keywords in that.
SPEAKER_00 (10:41):
So what what was your keyword?
Did you have one?
SPEAKER_05 (10:44):
Well, for me, what stuck out just because of my own
journey of emotionalintelligence, it was the
recognize part.
SPEAKER_00 (10:50):
Okay.
SPEAKER_05 (10:51):
Recognize recognize how I'm feeling.
But then that leads directly tounderstanding because you I feel
like even the in the definition,the order of which those words
were are important.
Because you have to recognize itfirst.
You need to understand it afterthat, which helps you learn how
(11:11):
to manage it.
Because you you don't know howto manage that just as a
regular, just when you're beinga person in the world, managing
your emotions is what leads to alot of the things that are not
going so great in our worldtoday.
So you have to recognize itfirst.
SPEAKER_00 (11:30):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (11:30):
I feel like.
SPEAKER_00 (11:31):
Well, of course.
Yeah.
I think that's with any anythingin life, is like what they say
is um acknowledging the problemis the first step.
Okay, okay, I'm emotional here.
This is emotional.
I was in a in a group uh uhmorning Bible study.
(11:53):
Will Schofield used to lead itsometimes.
And we would always start withuh we're gonna get on the
emotion wheel, we're gonna geton the feelings wheel.
SPEAKER_05 (12:01):
The wheel of emotion.
SPEAKER_00 (12:03):
And so he would basically say, I'm good is not
is not one.
So you have to be able to tellus what it is those are.
So because guys are not verygood, guys are horrible at this.
SPEAKER_05 (12:15):
Yeah, yeah, we're not allowed to say I'm fine.
SPEAKER_00 (12:17):
Yeah, when you say I'm fine or I'm good, like
that's not it.
Use your words, describe whatyou're feeling, how you're so it
takes a lot of introspective tolook at those things in our
lives and go, how am I reallyfeeling?
Like what is really going on?
SPEAKER_05 (12:33):
Well, it's icky a lot of times because I would
venture to guess that most ofthe time what we're feeling is
not always great.
And when it comes to the notalways great, it was like, wait
a minute, am I being am I beingimpossible right now?
Or am I being jealous or am Ibeing any of those negative
(12:56):
things?
I don't want to recognize thatin myself.
SPEAKER_01 (12:58):
Why?
SPEAKER_05 (12:59):
Well, because that means I'm wrong.
Well, I think that's not just Imean, it's like it means I'm not
I'm not I'm not okay, really.
SPEAKER_04 (13:08):
Okay.
Well, I think that's the hardestthing for most people to start
walking in that path because ittakes humility.
Yeah.
And that is the completeopposite of our human nature.
Yeah.
But you have to sit back and bewilling to say, even though I
think I'm not wrong, there's achance I might be wrong here.
(13:28):
Right.
unknown (13:29):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (13:30):
Because you can't even start understanding your
emotions until you can have thatthought and be okay with that
thought.
Yeah.
That's true.
SPEAKER_00 (13:38):
Which is advanced a lot.
Yeah.
I mean, when you talk aboutrelationships, it's so there's
so much involved in that becauseemotional intelligence is is
about you, but it directlyreflects how you communicate,
how you act.
(13:59):
Your emotions determine yourperspective a lot of times.
Oh man, yeah.
So many times.
SPEAKER_01 (14:04):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (14:05):
Um, and we always talk about that, and and I and
I've done it once before, andI'll do it again, because I'll
do it a lot, and you guys can beum as much as you want.
But uh wherever you're at, ifyou're listening to the podcast
or anything.
So go ahead and take yourfinger, point it toward the
ceiling like this.
(14:25):
Um, your index finger, yourpointer finger.
SPEAKER_05 (14:29):
You could do your pinky if you wanted to.
SPEAKER_00 (14:30):
You can do any finger, it doesn't matter.
Uh, and you want to start goingclockwise.
And that's the way that theclock goes.
That's right.
So if you're listening, asyou're listening, your finger,
you're watching, your finger isin the air, it's clockwise.
You want to start, it's aboveyour head.
So this is above your head.
Start bringing it down, bringingit down, bringing it down, and
(14:50):
bringing it down until it isbelow your about chest high.
Which way is it going now?
SPEAKER_05 (14:58):
The other way.
SPEAKER_00 (14:59):
Yeah, it's going counterclockwise.
And the only thing that changedis your what?
SPEAKER_05 (15:04):
Perspective.
SPEAKER_00 (15:05):
Thank you, first graders.
So it's it's the one thing thatchanged.
The only thing that changed isyou were looking down upon the
way you're spinning your finger.
SPEAKER_05 (15:16):
Versus when you were looking up at it.
SPEAKER_00 (15:18):
Yes.
So when you're looking up, whenyou're looking down, they're
both going the same way.
So the idea of perspective iswhat if you're both right?
You're just looking at it indifferent ways.
SPEAKER_05 (15:27):
Oh, that's so hard.
SPEAKER_00 (15:28):
Yeah.
So it's that's one of thosethings to actually look at and
say, emotional intelligenceallows you to name your
emotions, put some words tothose, and then express that.
Because that's the that's thepart.
Once we recognize that, the hugepart of that is then
transferring that and going,let's give it a name.
Like that emotion needs a name.
(15:49):
What's the name of that emotion?
And so what's the importance, ordo you like what do you feel
like the importance is of ofactually giving that a name or
naming that?
SPEAKER_05 (15:58):
Do you well because in my own learning about my own
self, being able to umspecifically identify what
emotion I am feeling was hard.
Like when you and I got married,that was hard for me.
Like I I mean, it took me sometime after being married to you
(16:23):
to realize just throughconversations and through the
way you handled conflict and umjust even navigating icky
situations, whether it be withlike just a blended family
aspect or just in general, Irealized that I was not
emotionally intelligent.
(16:44):
And I don't even know if I evenheard that phrase before we got
married, to be honest with you.
And so that was a very likesharp learning curve for me
because I was used to just well,I mean, two years of alone.
I didn't have to really worryabout if I was emotionally
intelligent or I was justputting one foot in front of the
(17:06):
other.
But I I never thought about thatbefore.
I never thought about like letme take my time and think about
how I'm feeling right now sothat I can properly identify it
and then work through that.
Like I had never done thatbefore.
SPEAKER_00 (17:22):
Okay.
And so that was So you didn'tyou and TJ didn't do that much.
Okay.
SPEAKER_05 (17:28):
No.
Um well we were high schoolsweethearts and then we got
married as fast as we couldafter we graduated a few years
later, and then it was buy ahouse, have a baby, and do all
the things.
It's like we just wanted to rushthrough and get ready, get to
the adulting part.
And so I feel like a lot of thetimes if there was a conflict or
a fuss or whatever, we probablystill handled it like when we
(17:51):
were 18, 19 years old, becausethat's just all we knew in our
relationship.
Right.
And so we were married for 11years.
And so that was a long time ofjust kind of staying that same
pattern.
I mean, it worked.
We were not unhappy.
And so it was just like, butthat's all I knew.
SPEAKER_00 (18:10):
Well, how did you guys handle conflict though?
SPEAKER_05 (18:11):
Like when we would fuss about it and he would just
tell me I was right and we'dmove along.
SPEAKER_00 (18:17):
Okay.
Smart man, smart man.
Smart man can be like, you knowwhat?
You're right.
I gotta go.
SPEAKER_05 (18:23):
You're right.
Whatever you're saying is great,whatever you want.
Okay, great.
Uh yeah, I gotta go.
unknown (18:27):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (18:27):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (18:28):
I mean, which in the moment is decide I just want
this to end.
What am I needing to tell you tomake this?
SPEAKER_05 (18:33):
Literally, that's where he was like, whatever I
have to say to make this goaway.
It's gonna be great.
And everybody's gonna be happyand we're gonna move along.
SPEAKER_00 (18:41):
In so many marriages and relationships, that's where
we all live.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (18:46):
Well, I mean, I got wet my way most of the time, so
I was happy, you know.
So, you know, I didn't I didn'thave to all the way identify how
I was feeling.
He was just like, oh, she's nothappy, and I'm gonna do whatever
it is that makes her be happyagain.
SPEAKER_00 (19:00):
Well, that's what a lot of times that's what I mean,
it's so many times in inmarriage and just even in
relationships, that's what wedo.
But everything's like that'swhat we celebrate is like, you
know, the whole, you know, happywife, happy life.
Right.
It's not that's not all true.
No, it's not.
That's not true.
Because happy life for who?
SPEAKER_05 (19:20):
Who?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Who's the happy life for?
SPEAKER_04 (19:23):
Can I ask a question?
Just going through that.
SPEAKER_05 (19:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (19:26):
In that season of your life, first you for you who
don't know, this is producerMichael who's behind the
computer for us who's talking.
SPEAKER_05 (19:34):
You can go ahead and give backstory if you want to.
SPEAKER_00 (19:36):
Producer Michael?
SPEAKER_05 (19:37):
Backstory?
Oh, who's talking?
I didn't know what backstoryyou're about to say.
SPEAKER_00 (19:41):
Michael, who's if you're listening to this in your
news, oh gosh, the voice you'rehearing is producer Michael, who
produced our project.
SPEAKER_05 (19:51):
Sorry, did I say backstory?
You did.
That's okay.
That's why I was like, it'slate.
Anyway, go ahead.
SPEAKER_04 (19:56):
Um, so question in that season in your life where
you were talking about TJ, justbe like at some point he'd say,
You're right, back off and goforward with that.
Right.
If you were to trace back inyour own life, could you see
that you had emotional growthduring that period of your life?
SPEAKER_05 (20:12):
That's a good question.
SPEAKER_04 (20:14):
Meaning if well, I'll just leave it at that.
SPEAKER_05 (20:17):
What was the rest of what you were going to say
though?
SPEAKER_04 (20:19):
I was gonna say, if your emotional awareness and
everything went your way, quoteunquote, what was there to
challenge your emotionalmaturity?
SPEAKER_05 (20:33):
At that point in my life, I mean, this was in my
late twenties, early thirties,that because I was so icky
saying it now, but because I gotmy way most of the time when I
was feeling quote unquoteemotional about whatever, there
was no growth.
Well, be and because I didn't Ididn't have to identify like why
(20:58):
was I upset, really what was theroot of that, and what was my
own part in that was the biggestpart that I didn't looking back,
that I didn't own, I didn't haveto own that.
SPEAKER_02 (21:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (21:12):
And so there was no like no growth per se.
Now that you put it that way.
SPEAKER_04 (21:19):
And I mean, I'm just thinking through that like and
and putting myself in in my ownshoes before I was even aware of
this thing called emotionalintelligence or emotional
health.
Like the only thing that helpedme grow was the friction of
being aware of my lack ofemotional health.
SPEAKER_05 (21:39):
Right.
And I didn't I started theprocess of learning that about
myself and my grief counselingright off the bat.
But then when the griefcounseling turned into how do we
move forward counseling, I mean,that was a two-year span of
time.
Um I had our I had started thejourney of learning about it.
(22:03):
But I feel like, I mean, yes,personally you want to be
healthy as an individual, but alot of emotional intelligence
comes not it's not even justfrom a marriage, but it's I
mean, like I'm a teacher, I'mthe lead of my grade level, and
there's six of us, like myemotional intelligence comes
into play with those five otherwomen that I work with.
SPEAKER_00 (22:24):
Oh, absolutely.
100%.
SPEAKER_05 (22:27):
And so I just never I was I was young at that point
whenever he passed away and allthat.
And so learning that aboutmyself through and you helping
me, Greg, it's changed a lot ofthe dynamics of the
relationships in my life, notjust you and I, but everything.
SPEAKER_00 (22:47):
Okay.
Hopefully that's a good change.
SPEAKER_05 (22:49):
It is a good change, is because I am more aw aware.
We keep using awareness andaware, but it's true.
I'm more aware of my own part inrelationships, and it's not all
the time about like, well, hesaid that or she said that or
the tone or this or whatever.
It's more like, no, what did Ido?
(23:10):
What was my part in that tocause the reaction or this or
that, you know, and how thingsplay out?
Like I think a lot of folks, ifyou are not emotionally
intelligent, there's a lot ofblame and you did this and you
said that, and this happenedbecause of you, and there's not
(23:32):
a lot of it of like, no, I havea part to play in this.
SPEAKER_00 (23:36):
Yeah, I was gonna ask if you if you're sitting
there wondering, going, well, Idon't know if I'm emotionally
intelligent or not.
So um again, there's tons ofbooks out there that can help
you and help build this in youand help work through this.
So my question would be to youas a couple, what does it look
like uh for both of you when thecrap hits the fan?
SPEAKER_01 (24:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (24:01):
When things go sideways, when the storms come,
when things aren't working outthe way they're supposed to.
And they could be something assimple as you said you're gonna
load the dishwasher and youdidn't, to we don't have enough
money in the in our bank accountright now to pay our power bill.
It could be like all over thegamut.
Like, what happens to you?
(24:22):
Like, and just be honest withyourself because if you're not
honest with yourself in this,you're not going anywhere.
Yeah, you're getting you'restuck.
SPEAKER_05 (24:30):
Literally.
SPEAKER_00 (24:31):
Um, so the idea is that kind of a question to be
like, well, I don't I don'tknow.
What do we do?
Am I always pointing the fingerat someone else saying, well,
it's because of them, or theysaid this, or they said that.
Well, they made me mad.
So when I got mad, I did thisand I did that.
SPEAKER_05 (24:45):
And it's their fault I did this or that.
No.
SPEAKER_00 (24:49):
So it's a lot of times being able to say, I'm mad
because this happened.
SPEAKER_01 (24:55):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (24:55):
Uh I'm upset because this happened, but I want to be
able to say, but I want to havea conversation around this.
Like I want us to have aconversation and see what's
happening.
SPEAKER_05 (25:05):
And those conversations are awful.
SPEAKER_04 (25:07):
How do you bring about those conversations?
Like, I mean, here's my thought.
It takes emotional intelligenceto be able to do that.
Because we don't wanna, becausethere are people who are, you
know, maybe just hearing aboutemotional intelligence.
Or like if you want to call it,you can call it whatever you
want, like grade one levelemotional intelligence, beginner
(25:27):
status.
unknown (25:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (25:28):
Like, how do you work into those?
SPEAKER_05 (25:31):
Oh, well, I mean, I can draw back on like when we
first got together dating.
Well, I mean, we dated and gotmarried within it feels like 15
minutes when we met.
It was literally eight monthsfor our new friends.
We met in February, we weremarried in October.
SPEAKER_00 (25:48):
But it's been 13 years, so it's not we're we're
hoping it works out.
SPEAKER_05 (25:53):
Fingers are crossed.
Yeah.
And you were gonna make it.
Um but I can remember everyonesaid though.
Oh, nobody believes very fewpeople who believed that we
would last.
SPEAKER_00 (26:05):
Well, that, and there were a bunch of people who
were saying really mean thingsthat uh Jess was pregnant and
that was the only reason we weregetting married.
SPEAKER_05 (26:14):
Yeah, as long as there was a lot of those on the
face of the planet.
SPEAKER_00 (26:17):
Rolling around.
Still waiting.
I'm doing it.
Still waiting on that again.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (26:20):
In a minute now, dude.
In a minute.
SPEAKER_00 (26:22):
Yeah.
So but go ahead.
I didn't mean to It's okay.
SPEAKER_05 (26:27):
I almost lost my train of thought.
But I can remember when we firststarted having these
conversations because I mean wehad a lot of baggage to claim.
We have a lot of baggage.
Yay.
But like you're welcome.
Um so, but we had a lot to talkabout.
(26:47):
And so it was very differentconversations between your
baggage versus my baggagebecause it was a lot of
emotional baggage, but then youhad some physical baggage with
your ex-wife still being around,but it was just so much to work
through.
And so I just I can remembersome of those first really hard
(27:09):
conversations, but they becameeasier because of the way you
approached them.
I think a lot of it has to dolike when you get ready to start
talking about your emotionalintelligence, it's about your
approach.
SPEAKER_02 (27:25):
I agree.
SPEAKER_05 (27:26):
Your approach was never negative.
Your approach was never umaccusatory.
It was always gentle andrespectful.
And I think that says a lotabout your character, yes, but
it says a lot about how thesekinds of conversations should be
approached.
SPEAKER_00 (27:44):
Well, it's the idea of if you're going into a and
we're we're gonna talk about, wereally are gonna do a series,
hopefully coming up soon, um,maybe in the next couple weeks,
over crucial conversations.
How to have hard conversations,how to work, how to navigate
things.
SPEAKER_05 (28:01):
Trained and certified.
SPEAKER_00 (28:06):
You're certified in a lot of things.
SPEAKER_05 (28:10):
Sorry.
SPEAKER_00 (28:10):
Um So we're gonna we're gonna dig into that.
But the idea for me was anytimewe're gonna have a hard
conversation, yeah.
I can't go into thisconversation thinking I don't
have any place in this.
This is all on you.
This is not on me.
SPEAKER_05 (28:24):
This is And I'm about to get my way.
SPEAKER_00 (28:26):
Yeah, it's it's more of and that's where I use the
phrase, and and we say it onhere hundreds of times, and you
guys I know you guys are sick ofit.
But that's where the line for mecame to I want to understand
where you're coming from and Iwant to understand how you're
feeling.
And so help me understand whatmade you say this, or what made
(28:48):
you feel this way, or what wasit that I did, or what was it
that happened that helped thatthat made you feel this way?
And that's and sometimes it'shard for you to even when we ask
those questions, sometimes foryou to even go, I don't know.
I'm just I'm just pissed.
Yeah.
Well, what are you doing?
SPEAKER_01 (29:04):
I'm just upset.
SPEAKER_00 (29:04):
Like, why?
Well, like what are you upsetat?
Because you didn't get your way,or you wanted it to go
differently?
What what what upsets you?
SPEAKER_05 (29:11):
And that can take some time to think about that.
And I think that's what you'reabout to say.
Like, I know I sometimes needsome time to be like, I don't
know for sure right now, but letme have a minute or a day to
think about here's the thingsthat led up to that.
And that's okay too, is to beable to say, I'm emotionally
(29:33):
intelligent enough to tell youthat I need a little bit of time
to think through this.
SPEAKER_00 (29:37):
Well, it's just, I mean, you can have, I mean, you
can have vernacular that thatgoes around with what are just
have the words you want to usein your relationship.
Like for me, when I know I'mabout to say something stupid or
I'm just gonna be veryvulnerable and put myself out
there with you, I'm like, I needmy umbrella protection.
(29:57):
Yes.
Can I get my umbrella protectionhere?
Like I I'm gonna say somethingthat I don't know how this is
gonna land, I don't know how,but I'm just gonna I wanna
protect myself from my littleumbrella.
SPEAKER_05 (30:06):
But that's okay too, because a lot of times when
you're in a moment and you'refeeling very emotional, you
don't always have the words thatyou need.
And we both will say thingslike, I don't know what other
word to use, but this is whatI'm feeling.
Right.
And that is your umbrella ofprotection, or just like, give
me a safety net.
Like it's okay.
SPEAKER_00 (30:25):
So I want to get into I I wanna I want to skin in
some practical things here.
And this and this may drag onbecause this is not a simple
subject.
So we we possibly could couldcould tail into this for you to
go, hey, how to help youunderstand some more emotional
intelligence for yourself uh inyour relationship.
Uh and I want to get into somepractical things of here's
(30:48):
here's some things that happenedand how we dealt with those
things um in our relationship asemotional intelligence, how we
built it, how we're continuingbecause we're changing.
We change.
SPEAKER_02 (31:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (31:02):
Uh our our lives are different now.
Like last night, it's rare, butlast night I came home, you came
home, and it was the two of us.
We cooked dinner, just the twoof us.
SPEAKER_01 (31:14):
We did.
SPEAKER_00 (31:14):
And we talked and we hung out in the kitchen.
And and but it's like that's adiff that's different for us.
That's that doesn't happen much.
SPEAKER_01 (31:22):
No.
SPEAKER_00 (31:23):
Uh it's starting to happen more than it than it ever
has in our lives.
SPEAKER_05 (31:26):
And the thing is, but that changes even how we
have conversations.
Like Yeah, things and whetheryou're listening and you have
littles or you have teenagers oryou're semi-empty nesters, or
you know, wherever you fall,it's gonna be different.
SPEAKER_00 (31:45):
So we've we've opened the bag here.
SPEAKER_05 (31:48):
We have.
SPEAKER_00 (31:49):
We've unzipped the suitcase and said, all right,
here's the emotionalintelligence bag.
Uh we're gonna try to unpacksome of this as we go.
And so I I want us to, if you ifyou've stuck with us this far
this long.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And we appreciate it.
And I hope we've we've we'vemaybe started some or placed a
(32:09):
question in your mind that'sthere.
Um we're gonna we're gonna havea second part where we're gonna
jump right into um the emotionalintelligence part of that, and
we're gonna unpack some reallife scenarios and situations.
Um we good with that?
Yeah, I love that.
You can make that call righthere too late.
So, and Jess is now drawingpretty clouds.
SPEAKER_05 (32:32):
No, I'm saying plus 37 is episode 36, and I'm not
drawing pretty clouds.
SPEAKER_00 (32:37):
So I mean, it is a pretty cloud.
If you guys are here, thank youso much.
Uh, the next episode, uh, we'regonna unpack this emotional
intelligence and dig more intoit.
Uh today we just wanted tointroduce this topic and get
your mind thinking on that.
Uh, think about perspective,think about emotional
intelligence.
And Michael is raising his hand.
SPEAKER_04 (32:54):
Yeah, I think just one good thing for this week is
as you're going through life,start thinking of your own
emotional intelligence throughcircumstances you go through.
SPEAKER_01 (33:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (33:03):
Not that you like deep unpack it, but just simply
the first thought of like, ohman, that was an intense
situation at work.
Boom.
How did I pro what did I workthrough?
SPEAKER_00 (33:12):
And I'm not a you know I'm not a diary writer.
Like I don't I don't write, butlike You go through journal
phases.
I do.
Go I really want to journal.
I really want to join that.
SPEAKER_05 (33:21):
You want to do that so bad.
SPEAKER_00 (33:22):
I own so many journals that have that four
pages.
SPEAKER_05 (33:24):
And they're really cool covers and stuff.
SPEAKER_04 (33:26):
Yes, they're like the most epic ones.
Yeah, he does.
Four of them with like two pagesin this.
SPEAKER_05 (33:31):
Yeah.
I will I want to say though,like for people like me, and
then we'll we'll end this tohead on to the next step.
SPEAKER_03 (33:38):
No, I want to say something.
SPEAKER_05 (33:39):
Oh.
SPEAKER_03 (33:40):
You don't get your way all the time now.
SPEAKER_05 (33:42):
Yes, I do.
I do.
Um I think the first step inemotional intelligence is when
things go sideways, like whatyou were just saying, and you're
reacting and you're trying tofigure out what your next move
is or whatever.
First, before you start to plotrevenge or whatever it is, think
(34:04):
about no, really, what am Ifeeling right now?
Am I feeling betrayed?
Am I feeling not heard?
Am I feeling what is the feelingfirst?
SPEAKER_00 (34:14):
Give it a name.
unknown (34:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (34:16):
Name your feeling.
SPEAKER_00 (34:17):
Yeah.
And I that's what I feel.
SPEAKER_05 (34:18):
But it's true, though.
Like, name figure that out.
SPEAKER_00 (34:22):
But like once you give it a name, go, why do I
feel betrayed?
Why do I feel that way?
SPEAKER_05 (34:26):
That will help you figure out what to do next.
So this week's what we're aboutto talk about.
SPEAKER_04 (34:32):
I don't know if that's his or something, but no,
he borrowed it from somewhere.
SPEAKER_00 (34:36):
Yeah.
So I would next name it and thenwhat?
Track it down.
Wrestle it to the ground.
SPEAKER_03 (34:43):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (34:44):
So thank you guys so much.
Uh please like, subscribe,share, uh, pass our podcast
around, talk about it aroundyour watercomb.
SPEAKER_05 (34:52):
Message us.
We wanted to hear from you guys.
SPEAKER_00 (34:56):
We're adding countries.
Somebody in, I mean, we're nowit's it's nuts.
SPEAKER_05 (35:01):
It's ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00 (35:02):
Yeah, we're now Moscow.
So Moscow.
Uh so many folks in Moscow,thank you for listening.
Uh, folks in India, thank youfor listening.
We got some folks in the U.S.
SPEAKER_05 (35:10):
I don't even understand.
SPEAKER_00 (35:11):
Um, like all over the place.
So thank you guys so much.
Keep uh sharing, keep passing itaround, and uh we'll just keep
sharing.
So thank you guys for joiningBaggage Clay.
Peace out.
Good help.
Good help.
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm Greg.
I hope you guys are ready tounpack and get into some good
conversations today.
SPEAKER_05 (00:07):
And I'm Dennis, and this is our podcast, Baggage
Claim.
Thank you for joining us.
SPEAKER_00 (00:16):
What's up, Baggage Claim?
How's everybody doing out there?
Thank you guys so much for uhgiving us a try and listening to
us.
If this is your first time here,it's your first time here, thank
you.
I'm so excited.
Grab your favorite drink,whatever that may be, pull up to
the table with us, and we'regonna get into some uh some good
(00:36):
discussion and conversations.
Baggage Claim is a place wherewe hope to create some community
and some conversations aroundrelationships, marriages, and
blended families and not blendedfamilies, just in relationships,
whatever it may be.
Yeah, just being a person.
And so if you guys are aregular, thank you so much for
being here, coming back, and youjust keep coming back.
SPEAKER_05 (00:59):
And I I can't think about We have added more cities
and more, literally morecountries.
SPEAKER_00 (01:05):
We have since our last one.
So we continue to grow just justto tease this out that I know
probably you guys aren't asexcited about this as we are.
Okay, but uh this is episode 36.
We're coming upon 50, and sowe're gonna do something really
fun for our uh 50th episode.
We're not gonna share.
SPEAKER_05 (01:23):
We're hopeful.
There's plans.
SPEAKER_00 (01:26):
There's plans out and we're gonna make it happen.
Okay, do we gotta figure it out?
So it's gonna be fun, and youguys will get to be a part of
that.
Just as this is my only teaserfor we will have a live
audience.
And so and we'll do questionanswers, all kind of fun stuff.
SPEAKER_05 (01:40):
You know what I'm so excited about?
SPEAKER_00 (01:42):
What's that?
SPEAKER_05 (01:43):
So before each what'd you say?
SPEAKER_04 (01:46):
So say what are you excited about?
SPEAKER_05 (01:47):
Oh, okay.
Um, before each episode, we do aclap, and we've talked about it
before and how I giggle everytime.
So today I did not laugh.
And so that's a momentousoccasion because we're welcoming
back a team member that's beenon hiatus.
SPEAKER_00 (02:02):
She's been in rehab.
No, I'm just kidding.
She's not.
She had a baby.
SPEAKER_05 (02:08):
Our daughter-in-law.
SPEAKER_00 (02:11):
Just say that.
Let me say that.
There's nothing wrong withrehab.
SPEAKER_05 (02:13):
Our daughter-in-law Miranda is back on the team.
So, producer Michael, that's histitle.
Miranda, do you have a title?
SPEAKER_04 (02:20):
She left as the titles were starting to become
official.
So we'll put on you for her.
SPEAKER_01 (02:26):
No, no, no, no, no, not right now.
No.
It's gotta happen.
Let it happen.
So you're just trying to make ithappen.
It's gotta come naturally.
I'm sorry, I'm trying to forceit.
Walk away from it.
SPEAKER_05 (02:35):
Miranda's back.
So we're so excited about that.
But she clapped us in and Ididn't laugh.
I didn't kill.
I it's a big deal.
Okay.
It's a big deal.
SPEAKER_00 (02:47):
Well, let's jump right into uh question 10.
I forgot.
So um right.
Yeah, you're not doing a goodjob of singing, but go ahead.
SPEAKER_04 (02:55):
I like how when we first started, y'all told us
that all of us had to sing that.
And you had like the I'm theonly one that's been singing.
SPEAKER_05 (03:03):
Because you are a professional singer still.
SPEAKER_00 (03:05):
That is different.
You get paid to sing.
We don't know about that.
Question.
Give me your question.
Noted.
SPEAKER_05 (03:11):
My question is what's your favorite cereal?
SPEAKER_00 (03:13):
Ooh, gosh, I could go on about this.
SPEAKER_05 (03:17):
I know.
I have two answers for for myown question.
SPEAKER_00 (03:20):
Okay.
Okay, give it to me.
SPEAKER_05 (03:22):
Okay.
So regular, just like, I'm gonnaeat a bowl of cere bowl of
cereal.
I feel like I'm gonna go frostedflakes.
SPEAKER_00 (03:29):
Ooh.
Okay.
It's an everyday.
What's your special occasionthen?
SPEAKER_05 (03:33):
Special occasion is just go with me because you know
how much I love peanut butter.
SPEAKER_00 (03:37):
Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_05 (03:38):
And you know how much I love peanut butter toast,
like I'm 12.
A bowl of honey nut Cheerioswith a piece of peanut butter
toast.
SPEAKER_03 (03:47):
That actually sounds really good.
That sounds so adulted, adultthing.
SPEAKER_05 (03:51):
But I've been I have been eating that that since I
was little.
SPEAKER_00 (03:55):
My my like my everyday eater, if I'm gonna eat
it everyday, honeycomb.
I can eat an entire box ofhoneycombs.
SPEAKER_05 (04:02):
We used to buy how many boxes of the family size
honeycombs when the kids weregrowing up?
The giant suitcase size, and wewould run out.
SPEAKER_00 (04:10):
Now, for special occasion, yeah, like I'm gonna
treat myself it's a captaincrunch.
But you can only eat so muchbecause it makes it very captain
crunch or like the OG straight.
SPEAKER_04 (04:22):
Okay, I can do it with that.
SPEAKER_05 (04:23):
I do though, okay.
I'll add a third.
I do like what you refer to asold lady cereal.
The honey bunches of oats.
SPEAKER_04 (04:29):
Oh my god.
Come on, grandma.
I'm eating honey bunches ofoats.
There's actually a lot ofcereals I can get down with.
unknown (04:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (04:37):
Jess used to eat this really crappy cereal.
It was like kettlebells and ithad these dried strawberries in
it.
SPEAKER_05 (04:42):
No, I didn't do the strawberries.
That was Cody.
SPEAKER_00 (04:44):
No, Cody started strip mining all your
strawberries.
He would get the box and all thedried strawberries out of it.
He and I made a deal.
SPEAKER_05 (04:52):
He and I made a deal because I didn't love the
strawberry part.
I wanted the healthy part.
And so I was, he was like, I'lleat the strawberry, the dried
strawberry.
Okay, if you wash your hands,we'll we'll you can.
SPEAKER_04 (05:04):
Okay, that works.
Strawberries are healthy.
SPEAKER_05 (05:05):
I don't know.
It just didn't feel like it was.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_04 (05:08):
Here's my thing, and this one's gonna be completely
out there because like no oneelse likes this.
But this was my grandfather'sfavorite cereal.
Great.
This is what I love.
SPEAKER_05 (05:15):
No.
We talked about that?
No.
SPEAKER_04 (05:18):
Grape nuts.
Oh my god.
Grape nuts.
SPEAKER_05 (05:22):
The blue sweetener, what's that equate?
SPEAKER_03 (05:25):
The chemical?
SPEAKER_05 (05:27):
The chemical sugar.
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (05:28):
It's the blue equal, yeah.
Oh yeah, it's definitely grape.
SPEAKER_05 (05:31):
Equate is the uh Walmart brand of things, isn't
it?
SPEAKER_04 (05:34):
I don't know, maybe.
But that's like my nostalgia.
I love it.
That literally just makes methink of my grandfather.
SPEAKER_01 (05:40):
Thinking about that deal.
SPEAKER_04 (05:43):
Yes, it is.
A lot of fiber.
Uh, but like my like all-timefavorite is actually a mix of
cereals.
So you have to take goldencrisps, which this is like an
old school cereal.
The only way you can get it nowis like an off-brand at Walmart
because like no one else makesit.
SPEAKER_05 (06:00):
Because they taste like graham crackers and they're
so good.
SPEAKER_04 (06:02):
And you mix that with cocoa puffs.
SPEAKER_05 (06:05):
Okay.
SPEAKER_04 (06:06):
Cocoa.
Like half and half, but cocoapuffs have to be on the bottom.
SPEAKER_01 (06:10):
Okay.
SPEAKER_04 (06:10):
So that it blends in the milk more.
So you got chocolate milk by theend of the day.
SPEAKER_00 (06:14):
See, I don't like cereal that changes the color of
milk.
Oh, Cocoa Krispies.
If you do that, that's whereit's okay.
SPEAKER_05 (06:21):
Here's another place where y'all can make fun of me.
When I eat cereal, I don't wantthe milk part.
I just want the milk to get thecereal wet.
SPEAKER_04 (06:28):
Savagery.
SPEAKER_05 (06:29):
I know.
SPEAKER_04 (06:29):
That's like barbarianism.
SPEAKER_03 (06:30):
Yeah, you can't.
SPEAKER_05 (06:31):
I don't like milk.
The milk is just purely forfunction.
SPEAKER_03 (06:35):
It's the essence of cereal.
It is literally.
Have you ever had cereal withoutmilk?
SPEAKER_04 (06:41):
Yes.
That's disgusting.
SPEAKER_03 (06:42):
Now, I mean, I'm not talking like if you're just like
dry eating cereal.
SPEAKER_05 (06:48):
Oh no, I know what you're about to say.
Oh.
You didn't want to be clear.
SPEAKER_00 (06:51):
One time I wanted to have some cereal really, really
bad.
And we didn't have any meal.
The only thing we had was water.
Not we, me.
I had water.
Tell me you are a beer.
Either way.
So I poured the beer in thefrosted flakes.
SPEAKER_05 (07:08):
No, I thought I thought it was Fruit Loops.
SPEAKER_00 (07:10):
No, I think it was Frosted Flakes.
SPEAKER_05 (07:11):
You ruined that.
SPEAKER_00 (07:12):
It was horrible.
It was horrible.
I mean, I think that's saying Iwas desperate, but I was it was
horrible.
Yeah.
All right, Miranda, you didn'tanswer.
SPEAKER_03 (07:21):
What's your favorite cereal?
SPEAKER_01 (07:22):
Special K.
SPEAKER_00 (07:24):
Oh my gosh.
That's what my grandma Theberries.
Berries kind.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (07:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (07:28):
Him and Nanny would have been great together.
They were.
SPEAKER_05 (07:31):
You and Nanny were great together.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (07:35):
Special K.
SPEAKER_05 (07:36):
Yeah.
Miranda and Nanny were greattogether.
SPEAKER_00 (07:38):
Remember Special K came out though?
It had like the half-naked womanin like a Leotard or something.
SPEAKER_05 (07:43):
It wore a red bathing suit.
SPEAKER_00 (07:44):
Yes.
SPEAKER_05 (07:45):
That was so weird.
And she was supposed to matchthe logo.
The K is red.
She was supposed to match that.
SPEAKER_00 (07:50):
Anyway.
Interesting.
All right.
So I had a question, but wespent what's going on.
Yeah, we're like almost eightminutes in.
I think we're we'll do that nextquick next time.
This uh this would be my Youshould write down.
Now I'm gonna just gonna teasethe question out, and you guys
will I'm gonna write a part ofit down.
Every time you use the restroomin public, do you make a nest or
not?
Absolutely.
I don't want to start and talkabout it.
(08:11):
That's a yes or a no.
No, it's not.
And then my second part of thatquestion was where is the most
interesting place you've everwent to the restroom?
So, with that being said, we'regoing to jump in.
We're gonna dive into a uh atopic completely different from
what we just talked about, andit's not even remotely close to
(08:33):
the same.
And and this topic's gonna be alittle different for us too
because we always have ourunpack at the end.
We're probably gonna unpack alot as we go through this.
So just bear with us, hang inthere.
Um I hope you guys, the the lastthing, I hope you guys really
participated in the uh, youknow, take some time, take 10
(08:54):
minutes.
Um and it could change yourrelationships, take some time.
Uh, we talked about solitude, wetalked about a lot of things,
self-talk, all those aboutencouraging each other and
saying things you like aboutyourself.
I hope you guys participate inthat.
Please post those.
SPEAKER_05 (09:09):
We have I had a hard time with that.
SPEAKER_00 (09:11):
Oh, we know.
We talked about that too.
So make sure that you postthose, let us know.
We want to hear what you likeabout yourself.
Brag on yourself a little bit.
But with that being said, itkind of leads us into a topic
that doesn't get a whole lot ofum, I don't know, you guessing
it all, it's getting more uhconversations, more books, more
(09:33):
uh talks, more emphasis uh thanthan it has in the past.
But I think it's a huge part ofour relationships, um, and our
personal ones and ourprofessional ones and all of
those, it's this idea ofemotional intelligence.
Um and when I say emotionalintelligence, you may be like,
what?
SPEAKER_05 (09:52):
What do you mean?
SPEAKER_00 (09:53):
What are you talking about?
I mean, there's this there's uha thing called Syria, you can
ask her for the actualdefinition.
But Michael, would you would youcare to read us the actual
official definition of whatemotional intelligence is?
SPEAKER_04 (10:10):
The ability to recognize, understand, and
manage your own emotions andunderstand the influence of the
emotion of others.
SPEAKER_00 (10:21):
That's a lot.
That is a lot.
So we're we're going to try andunpack that idea, that concept,
and the idea of marriage and howthat works in everyday life.
SPEAKER_05 (10:34):
While you were reading it, I was like, okay,
what was the key word for me?
But there there's a lot of keywords in that.
SPEAKER_00 (10:41):
So what what was your keyword?
Did you have one?
SPEAKER_05 (10:44):
Well, for me, what stuck out just because of my own
journey of emotionalintelligence, it was the
recognize part.
SPEAKER_00 (10:50):
Okay.
SPEAKER_05 (10:51):
Recognize recognize how I'm feeling.
But then that leads directly tounderstanding because you I feel
like even the in the definition,the order of which those words
were are important.
Because you have to recognize itfirst.
You need to understand it afterthat, which helps you learn how
(11:11):
to manage it.
Because you you don't know howto manage that just as a
regular, just when you're beinga person in the world, managing
your emotions is what leads to alot of the things that are not
going so great in our worldtoday.
So you have to recognize itfirst.
SPEAKER_00 (11:30):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (11:30):
I feel like.
SPEAKER_00 (11:31):
Well, of course.
Yeah.
I think that's with any anythingin life, is like what they say
is um acknowledging the problemis the first step.
Okay, okay, I'm emotional here.
This is emotional.
I was in a in a group uh uhmorning Bible study.
(11:53):
Will Schofield used to lead itsometimes.
And we would always start withuh we're gonna get on the
emotion wheel, we're gonna geton the feelings wheel.
SPEAKER_05 (12:01):
The wheel of emotion.
SPEAKER_00 (12:03):
And so he would basically say, I'm good is not
is not one.
So you have to be able to tellus what it is those are.
So because guys are not verygood, guys are horrible at this.
SPEAKER_05 (12:15):
Yeah, yeah, we're not allowed to say I'm fine.
SPEAKER_00 (12:17):
Yeah, when you say I'm fine or I'm good, like
that's not it.
Use your words, describe whatyou're feeling, how you're so it
takes a lot of introspective tolook at those things in our
lives and go, how am I reallyfeeling?
Like what is really going on?
SPEAKER_05 (12:33):
Well, it's icky a lot of times because I would
venture to guess that most ofthe time what we're feeling is
not always great.
And when it comes to the notalways great, it was like, wait
a minute, am I being am I beingimpossible right now?
Or am I being jealous or am Ibeing any of those negative
(12:56):
things?
I don't want to recognize thatin myself.
SPEAKER_01 (12:58):
Why?
SPEAKER_05 (12:59):
Well, because that means I'm wrong.
Well, I think that's not just Imean, it's like it means I'm not
I'm not I'm not okay, really.
SPEAKER_04 (13:08):
Okay.
Well, I think that's the hardestthing for most people to start
walking in that path because ittakes humility.
Yeah.
And that is the completeopposite of our human nature.
Yeah.
But you have to sit back and bewilling to say, even though I
think I'm not wrong, there's achance I might be wrong here.
(13:28):
Right.
unknown (13:29):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (13:30):
Because you can't even start understanding your
emotions until you can have thatthought and be okay with that
thought.
Yeah.
That's true.
SPEAKER_00 (13:38):
Which is advanced a lot.
Yeah.
I mean, when you talk aboutrelationships, it's so there's
so much involved in that becauseemotional intelligence is is
about you, but it directlyreflects how you communicate,
how you act.
(13:59):
Your emotions determine yourperspective a lot of times.
Oh man, yeah.
So many times.
SPEAKER_01 (14:04):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (14:05):
Um, and we always talk about that, and and I and
I've done it once before, andI'll do it again, because I'll
do it a lot, and you guys can beum as much as you want.
But uh wherever you're at, ifyou're listening to the podcast
or anything.
So go ahead and take yourfinger, point it toward the
ceiling like this.
(14:25):
Um, your index finger, yourpointer finger.
SPEAKER_05 (14:29):
You could do your pinky if you wanted to.
SPEAKER_00 (14:30):
You can do any finger, it doesn't matter.
Uh, and you want to start goingclockwise.
And that's the way that theclock goes.
That's right.
So if you're listening, asyou're listening, your finger,
you're watching, your finger isin the air, it's clockwise.
You want to start, it's aboveyour head.
So this is above your head.
Start bringing it down, bringingit down, bringing it down, and
(14:50):
bringing it down until it isbelow your about chest high.
Which way is it going now?
SPEAKER_05 (14:58):
The other way.
SPEAKER_00 (14:59):
Yeah, it's going counterclockwise.
And the only thing that changedis your what?
SPEAKER_05 (15:04):
Perspective.
SPEAKER_00 (15:05):
Thank you, first graders.
So it's it's the one thing thatchanged.
The only thing that changed isyou were looking down upon the
way you're spinning your finger.
SPEAKER_05 (15:16):
Versus when you were looking up at it.
SPEAKER_00 (15:18):
Yes.
So when you're looking up, whenyou're looking down, they're
both going the same way.
So the idea of perspective iswhat if you're both right?
You're just looking at it indifferent ways.
SPEAKER_05 (15:27):
Oh, that's so hard.
SPEAKER_00 (15:28):
Yeah.
So it's that's one of thosethings to actually look at and
say, emotional intelligenceallows you to name your
emotions, put some words tothose, and then express that.
Because that's the that's thepart.
Once we recognize that, the hugepart of that is then
transferring that and going,let's give it a name.
Like that emotion needs a name.
(15:49):
What's the name of that emotion?
And so what's the importance, ordo you like what do you feel
like the importance is of ofactually giving that a name or
naming that?
SPEAKER_05 (15:58):
Do you well because in my own learning about my own
self, being able to umspecifically identify what
emotion I am feeling was hard.
Like when you and I got married,that was hard for me.
Like I I mean, it took me sometime after being married to you
(16:23):
to realize just throughconversations and through the
way you handled conflict and umjust even navigating icky
situations, whether it be withlike just a blended family
aspect or just in general, Irealized that I was not
emotionally intelligent.
(16:44):
And I don't even know if I evenheard that phrase before we got
married, to be honest with you.
And so that was a very likesharp learning curve for me
because I was used to just well,I mean, two years of alone.
I didn't have to really worryabout if I was emotionally
intelligent or I was justputting one foot in front of the
(17:06):
other.
But I I never thought about thatbefore.
I never thought about like letme take my time and think about
how I'm feeling right now sothat I can properly identify it
and then work through that.
Like I had never done thatbefore.
SPEAKER_00 (17:22):
Okay.
And so that was So you didn'tyou and TJ didn't do that much.
Okay.
SPEAKER_05 (17:28):
No.
Um well we were high schoolsweethearts and then we got
married as fast as we couldafter we graduated a few years
later, and then it was buy ahouse, have a baby, and do all
the things.
It's like we just wanted to rushthrough and get ready, get to
the adulting part.
And so I feel like a lot of thetimes if there was a conflict or
a fuss or whatever, we probablystill handled it like when we
(17:51):
were 18, 19 years old, becausethat's just all we knew in our
relationship.
Right.
And so we were married for 11years.
And so that was a long time ofjust kind of staying that same
pattern.
I mean, it worked.
We were not unhappy.
And so it was just like, butthat's all I knew.
SPEAKER_00 (18:10):
Well, how did you guys handle conflict though?
SPEAKER_05 (18:11):
Like when we would fuss about it and he would just
tell me I was right and we'dmove along.
SPEAKER_00 (18:17):
Okay.
Smart man, smart man.
Smart man can be like, you knowwhat?
You're right.
I gotta go.
SPEAKER_05 (18:23):
You're right.
Whatever you're saying is great,whatever you want.
Okay, great.
Uh yeah, I gotta go.
unknown (18:27):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (18:27):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (18:28):
I mean, which in the moment is decide I just want
this to end.
What am I needing to tell you tomake this?
SPEAKER_05 (18:33):
Literally, that's where he was like, whatever I
have to say to make this goaway.
It's gonna be great.
And everybody's gonna be happyand we're gonna move along.
SPEAKER_00 (18:41):
In so many marriages and relationships, that's where
we all live.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (18:46):
Well, I mean, I got wet my way most of the time, so
I was happy, you know.
So, you know, I didn't I didn'thave to all the way identify how
I was feeling.
He was just like, oh, she's nothappy, and I'm gonna do whatever
it is that makes her be happyagain.
SPEAKER_00 (19:00):
Well, that's what a lot of times that's what I mean,
it's so many times in inmarriage and just even in
relationships, that's what wedo.
But everything's like that'swhat we celebrate is like, you
know, the whole, you know, happywife, happy life.
Right.
It's not that's not all true.
No, it's not.
That's not true.
Because happy life for who?
SPEAKER_05 (19:20):
Who?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Who's the happy life for?
SPEAKER_04 (19:23):
Can I ask a question?
Just going through that.
SPEAKER_05 (19:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (19:26):
In that season of your life, first you for you who
don't know, this is producerMichael who's behind the
computer for us who's talking.
SPEAKER_05 (19:34):
You can go ahead and give backstory if you want to.
SPEAKER_00 (19:36):
Producer Michael?
SPEAKER_05 (19:37):
Backstory?
Oh, who's talking?
I didn't know what backstoryyou're about to say.
SPEAKER_00 (19:41):
Michael, who's if you're listening to this in your
news, oh gosh, the voice you'rehearing is producer Michael, who
produced our project.
SPEAKER_05 (19:51):
Sorry, did I say backstory?
You did.
That's okay.
That's why I was like, it'slate.
Anyway, go ahead.
SPEAKER_04 (19:56):
Um, so question in that season in your life where
you were talking about TJ, justbe like at some point he'd say,
You're right, back off and goforward with that.
Right.
If you were to trace back inyour own life, could you see
that you had emotional growthduring that period of your life?
SPEAKER_05 (20:12):
That's a good question.
SPEAKER_04 (20:14):
Meaning if well, I'll just leave it at that.
SPEAKER_05 (20:17):
What was the rest of what you were going to say
though?
SPEAKER_04 (20:19):
I was gonna say, if your emotional awareness and
everything went your way, quoteunquote, what was there to
challenge your emotionalmaturity?
SPEAKER_05 (20:33):
At that point in my life, I mean, this was in my
late twenties, early thirties,that because I was so icky
saying it now, but because I gotmy way most of the time when I
was feeling quote unquoteemotional about whatever, there
was no growth.
Well, be and because I didn't Ididn't have to identify like why
(20:58):
was I upset, really what was theroot of that, and what was my
own part in that was the biggestpart that I didn't looking back,
that I didn't own, I didn't haveto own that.
SPEAKER_02 (21:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (21:12):
And so there was no like no growth per se.
Now that you put it that way.
SPEAKER_04 (21:19):
And I mean, I'm just thinking through that like and
and putting myself in in my ownshoes before I was even aware of
this thing called emotionalintelligence or emotional
health.
Like the only thing that helpedme grow was the friction of
being aware of my lack ofemotional health.
SPEAKER_05 (21:39):
Right.
And I didn't I started theprocess of learning that about
myself and my grief counselingright off the bat.
But then when the griefcounseling turned into how do we
move forward counseling, I mean,that was a two-year span of
time.
Um I had our I had started thejourney of learning about it.
(22:03):
But I feel like, I mean, yes,personally you want to be
healthy as an individual, but alot of emotional intelligence
comes not it's not even justfrom a marriage, but it's I
mean, like I'm a teacher, I'mthe lead of my grade level, and
there's six of us, like myemotional intelligence comes
into play with those five otherwomen that I work with.
SPEAKER_00 (22:24):
Oh, absolutely.
100%.
SPEAKER_05 (22:27):
And so I just never I was I was young at that point
whenever he passed away and allthat.
And so learning that aboutmyself through and you helping
me, Greg, it's changed a lot ofthe dynamics of the
relationships in my life, notjust you and I, but everything.
SPEAKER_00 (22:47):
Okay.
Hopefully that's a good change.
SPEAKER_05 (22:49):
It is a good change, is because I am more aw aware.
We keep using awareness andaware, but it's true.
I'm more aware of my own part inrelationships, and it's not all
the time about like, well, hesaid that or she said that or
the tone or this or whatever.
It's more like, no, what did Ido?
(23:10):
What was my part in that tocause the reaction or this or
that, you know, and how thingsplay out?
Like I think a lot of folks, ifyou are not emotionally
intelligent, there's a lot ofblame and you did this and you
said that, and this happenedbecause of you, and there's not
(23:32):
a lot of it of like, no, I havea part to play in this.
SPEAKER_00 (23:36):
Yeah, I was gonna ask if you if you're sitting
there wondering, going, well, Idon't know if I'm emotionally
intelligent or not.
So um again, there's tons ofbooks out there that can help
you and help build this in youand help work through this.
So my question would be to youas a couple, what does it look
like uh for both of you when thecrap hits the fan?
SPEAKER_01 (24:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (24:01):
When things go sideways, when the storms come,
when things aren't working outthe way they're supposed to.
And they could be something assimple as you said you're gonna
load the dishwasher and youdidn't, to we don't have enough
money in the in our bank accountright now to pay our power bill.
It could be like all over thegamut.
Like, what happens to you?
(24:22):
Like, and just be honest withyourself because if you're not
honest with yourself in this,you're not going anywhere.
Yeah, you're getting you'restuck.
SPEAKER_05 (24:30):
Literally.
SPEAKER_00 (24:31):
Um, so the idea is that kind of a question to be
like, well, I don't I don'tknow.
What do we do?
Am I always pointing the fingerat someone else saying, well,
it's because of them, or theysaid this, or they said that.
Well, they made me mad.
So when I got mad, I did thisand I did that.
SPEAKER_05 (24:45):
And it's their fault I did this or that.
No.
SPEAKER_00 (24:49):
So it's a lot of times being able to say, I'm mad
because this happened.
SPEAKER_01 (24:55):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (24:55):
Uh I'm upset because this happened, but I want to be
able to say, but I want to havea conversation around this.
Like I want us to have aconversation and see what's
happening.
SPEAKER_05 (25:05):
And those conversations are awful.
SPEAKER_04 (25:07):
How do you bring about those conversations?
Like, I mean, here's my thought.
It takes emotional intelligenceto be able to do that.
Because we don't wanna, becausethere are people who are, you
know, maybe just hearing aboutemotional intelligence.
Or like if you want to call it,you can call it whatever you
want, like grade one levelemotional intelligence, beginner
(25:27):
status.
unknown (25:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (25:28):
Like, how do you work into those?
SPEAKER_05 (25:31):
Oh, well, I mean, I can draw back on like when we
first got together dating.
Well, I mean, we dated and gotmarried within it feels like 15
minutes when we met.
It was literally eight monthsfor our new friends.
We met in February, we weremarried in October.
SPEAKER_00 (25:48):
But it's been 13 years, so it's not we're we're
hoping it works out.
SPEAKER_05 (25:53):
Fingers are crossed.
Yeah.
And you were gonna make it.
Um but I can remember everyonesaid though.
Oh, nobody believes very fewpeople who believed that we
would last.
SPEAKER_00 (26:05):
Well, that, and there were a bunch of people who
were saying really mean thingsthat uh Jess was pregnant and
that was the only reason we weregetting married.
SPEAKER_05 (26:14):
Yeah, as long as there was a lot of those on the
face of the planet.
SPEAKER_00 (26:17):
Rolling around.
Still waiting.
I'm doing it.
Still waiting on that again.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (26:20):
In a minute now, dude.
In a minute.
SPEAKER_00 (26:22):
Yeah.
So but go ahead.
I didn't mean to It's okay.
SPEAKER_05 (26:27):
I almost lost my train of thought.
But I can remember when we firststarted having these
conversations because I mean wehad a lot of baggage to claim.
We have a lot of baggage.
Yay.
But like you're welcome.
Um so, but we had a lot to talkabout.
(26:47):
And so it was very differentconversations between your
baggage versus my baggagebecause it was a lot of
emotional baggage, but then youhad some physical baggage with
your ex-wife still being around,but it was just so much to work
through.
And so I just I can remembersome of those first really hard
(27:09):
conversations, but they becameeasier because of the way you
approached them.
I think a lot of it has to dolike when you get ready to start
talking about your emotionalintelligence, it's about your
approach.
SPEAKER_02 (27:25):
I agree.
SPEAKER_05 (27:26):
Your approach was never negative.
Your approach was never umaccusatory.
It was always gentle andrespectful.
And I think that says a lotabout your character, yes, but
it says a lot about how thesekinds of conversations should be
approached.
SPEAKER_00 (27:44):
Well, it's the idea of if you're going into a and
we're we're gonna talk about, wereally are gonna do a series,
hopefully coming up soon, um,maybe in the next couple weeks,
over crucial conversations.
How to have hard conversations,how to work, how to navigate
things.
SPEAKER_05 (28:01):
Trained and certified.
SPEAKER_00 (28:06):
You're certified in a lot of things.
SPEAKER_05 (28:10):
Sorry.
SPEAKER_00 (28:10):
Um So we're gonna we're gonna dig into that.
But the idea for me was anytimewe're gonna have a hard
conversation, yeah.
I can't go into thisconversation thinking I don't
have any place in this.
This is all on you.
This is not on me.
SPEAKER_05 (28:24):
This is And I'm about to get my way.
SPEAKER_00 (28:26):
Yeah, it's it's more of and that's where I use the
phrase, and and we say it onhere hundreds of times, and you
guys I know you guys are sick ofit.
But that's where the line for mecame to I want to understand
where you're coming from and Iwant to understand how you're
feeling.
And so help me understand whatmade you say this, or what made
(28:48):
you feel this way, or what wasit that I did, or what was it
that happened that helped thatthat made you feel this way?
And that's and sometimes it'shard for you to even when we ask
those questions, sometimes foryou to even go, I don't know.
I'm just I'm just pissed.
Yeah.
Well, what are you doing?
SPEAKER_01 (29:04):
I'm just upset.
SPEAKER_00 (29:04):
Like, why?
Well, like what are you upsetat?
Because you didn't get your way,or you wanted it to go
differently?
What what what upsets you?
SPEAKER_05 (29:11):
And that can take some time to think about that.
And I think that's what you'reabout to say.
Like, I know I sometimes needsome time to be like, I don't
know for sure right now, but letme have a minute or a day to
think about here's the thingsthat led up to that.
And that's okay too, is to beable to say, I'm emotionally
(29:33):
intelligent enough to tell youthat I need a little bit of time
to think through this.
SPEAKER_00 (29:37):
Well, it's just, I mean, you can have, I mean, you
can have vernacular that thatgoes around with what are just
have the words you want to usein your relationship.
Like for me, when I know I'mabout to say something stupid or
I'm just gonna be veryvulnerable and put myself out
there with you, I'm like, I needmy umbrella protection.
(29:57):
Yes.
Can I get my umbrella protectionhere?
Like I I'm gonna say somethingthat I don't know how this is
gonna land, I don't know how,but I'm just gonna I wanna
protect myself from my littleumbrella.
SPEAKER_05 (30:06):
But that's okay too, because a lot of times when
you're in a moment and you'refeeling very emotional, you
don't always have the words thatyou need.
And we both will say thingslike, I don't know what other
word to use, but this is whatI'm feeling.
Right.
And that is your umbrella ofprotection, or just like, give
me a safety net.
Like it's okay.
SPEAKER_00 (30:25):
So I want to get into I I wanna I want to skin in
some practical things here.
And this and this may drag onbecause this is not a simple
subject.
So we we possibly could couldcould tail into this for you to
go, hey, how to help youunderstand some more emotional
intelligence for yourself uh inyour relationship.
Uh and I want to get into somepractical things of here's
(30:48):
here's some things that happenedand how we dealt with those
things um in our relationship asemotional intelligence, how we
built it, how we're continuingbecause we're changing.
We change.
SPEAKER_02 (31:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (31:02):
Uh our our lives are different now.
Like last night, it's rare, butlast night I came home, you came
home, and it was the two of us.
We cooked dinner, just the twoof us.
SPEAKER_01 (31:14):
We did.
SPEAKER_00 (31:14):
And we talked and we hung out in the kitchen.
And and but it's like that's adiff that's different for us.
That's that doesn't happen much.
SPEAKER_01 (31:22):
No.
SPEAKER_00 (31:23):
Uh it's starting to happen more than it than it ever
has in our lives.
SPEAKER_05 (31:26):
And the thing is, but that changes even how we
have conversations.
Like Yeah, things and whetheryou're listening and you have
littles or you have teenagers oryou're semi-empty nesters, or
you know, wherever you fall,it's gonna be different.
SPEAKER_00 (31:45):
So we've we've opened the bag here.
SPEAKER_05 (31:48):
We have.
SPEAKER_00 (31:49):
We've unzipped the suitcase and said, all right,
here's the emotionalintelligence bag.
Uh we're gonna try to unpacksome of this as we go.
And so I I want us to, if you ifyou've stuck with us this far
this long.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And we appreciate it.
And I hope we've we've we'vemaybe started some or placed a
(32:09):
question in your mind that'sthere.
Um we're gonna we're gonna havea second part where we're gonna
jump right into um the emotionalintelligence part of that, and
we're gonna unpack some reallife scenarios and situations.
Um we good with that?
Yeah, I love that.
You can make that call righthere too late.
So, and Jess is now drawingpretty clouds.
SPEAKER_05 (32:32):
No, I'm saying plus 37 is episode 36, and I'm not
drawing pretty clouds.
SPEAKER_00 (32:37):
So I mean, it is a pretty cloud.
If you guys are here, thank youso much.
Uh, the next episode, uh, we'regonna unpack this emotional
intelligence and dig more intoit.
Uh today we just wanted tointroduce this topic and get
your mind thinking on that.
Uh, think about perspective,think about emotional
intelligence.
And Michael is raising his hand.
SPEAKER_04 (32:54):
Yeah, I think just one good thing for this week is
as you're going through life,start thinking of your own
emotional intelligence throughcircumstances you go through.
SPEAKER_01 (33:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (33:03):
Not that you like deep unpack it, but just simply
the first thought of like, ohman, that was an intense
situation at work.
Boom.
How did I pro what did I workthrough?
SPEAKER_00 (33:12):
And I'm not a you know I'm not a diary writer.
Like I don't I don't write, butlike You go through journal
phases.
I do.
Go I really want to journal.
I really want to join that.
SPEAKER_05 (33:21):
You want to do that so bad.
SPEAKER_00 (33:22):
I own so many journals that have that four
pages.
SPEAKER_05 (33:24):
And they're really cool covers and stuff.
SPEAKER_04 (33:26):
Yes, they're like the most epic ones.
Yeah, he does.
Four of them with like two pagesin this.
SPEAKER_05 (33:31):
Yeah.
I will I want to say though,like for people like me, and
then we'll we'll end this tohead on to the next step.
SPEAKER_03 (33:38):
No, I want to say something.
SPEAKER_05 (33:39):
Oh.
SPEAKER_03 (33:40):
You don't get your way all the time now.
SPEAKER_05 (33:42):
Yes, I do.
I do.
Um I think the first step inemotional intelligence is when
things go sideways, like whatyou were just saying, and you're
reacting and you're trying tofigure out what your next move
is or whatever.
First, before you start to plotrevenge or whatever it is, think
(34:04):
about no, really, what am Ifeeling right now?
Am I feeling betrayed?
Am I feeling not heard?
Am I feeling what is the feelingfirst?
SPEAKER_00 (34:14):
Give it a name.
unknown (34:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (34:16):
Name your feeling.
SPEAKER_00 (34:17):
Yeah.
And I that's what I feel.
SPEAKER_05 (34:18):
But it's true, though.
Like, name figure that out.
SPEAKER_00 (34:22):
But like once you give it a name, go, why do I
feel betrayed?
Why do I feel that way?
SPEAKER_05 (34:26):
That will help you figure out what to do next.
So this week's what we're aboutto talk about.
SPEAKER_04 (34:32):
I don't know if that's his or something, but no,
he borrowed it from somewhere.
SPEAKER_00 (34:36):
Yeah.
So I would next name it and thenwhat?
Track it down.
Wrestle it to the ground.
SPEAKER_03 (34:43):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (34:44):
So thank you guys so much.
Uh please like, subscribe,share, uh, pass our podcast
around, talk about it aroundyour watercomb.
SPEAKER_05 (34:52):
Message us.
We wanted to hear from you guys.
SPEAKER_00 (34:56):
We're adding countries.
Somebody in, I mean, we're nowit's it's nuts.
SPEAKER_05 (35:01):
It's ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00 (35:02):
Yeah, we're now Moscow.
So Moscow.
Uh so many folks in Moscow,thank you for listening.
Uh, folks in India, thank youfor listening.
We got some folks in the U.S.
SPEAKER_05 (35:10):
I don't even understand.
SPEAKER_00 (35:11):
Um, like all over the place.
So thank you guys so much.
Keep uh sharing, keep passing itaround, and uh we'll just keep
sharing.
So thank you guys for joiningBaggage Clay.
Peace out.
Good help.
Good help.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Bobby Bones Show
Listen to 'The Bobby Bones Show' by downloading the daily full replay.