March 11, 2025 • 54 mins
Greg and Jess share their dating journey from first meeting through getting engaged and married, exploring how they've maintained their relationship while raising four children in a blended family.
• Started with Facebook messages and texts before meeting at Waffle House for their first date
• Second date was at a rock climbing gym in Atlanta
• Realized they were in love on the same day while Greg was installing a bike rack
• Nanny (Jess's grandmother) gave Jess a ring to give to Greg, unknowingly answering his private prayer
• Got engaged at St. Simon's Island after dating for just months, with all four children present
• Married in October 2012, only eight months after meeting
• Made dating each other a priority throughout their marriage despite busy schedules with four kids
• Found creative ways to connect including coffee dates before grocery shopping
• Took annual trips without children to invest in their relationship
• Emphasized putting phones down and being present with each other
Remember to date each other no matter how chaotic life gets. When kids eventually leave home, your relationship needs to be strong enough to continue thriving as a couple.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Greg (00:01):
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm Greg.
I hope you guys are ready tounpack and get into some good
conversations today.
Jess (00:07):
And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast Baggage Claim.
Thank you for joining us.
Greg (00:17):
Welcome to Baggage Claim man.
What a crazy few weeks we'vehad.
This is our fifth episode, so Iwant to encourage you wherever
you're at riding in your car,sitting at your table, grab your
favorite drink, whatever thatmay be, whatever kind of day you
had.
That's completely yes,metaphorically.
(00:38):
If you're driving down the road, hopefully that favorite drink
is a good chai tea or ice wateror ice water or a mocha with
almond milk, and just enjoy andlet's unpack together as we jump
into a new episode tonight.
So thank you guys for listeningso much and joining us.
I want to say right off theget-go though, before we get too
(01:01):
much into it we want to give aspecial shout out.
Jess (01:04):
Yes to brother jack woodworking as west price.
Greg (01:08):
Yes, yes, gainesville, georgia yes, amazing dude does
some incredibly cool uh,woodworking a true craftsman
including our beautiful logo.
Yes, he helped us, uh, get ourlogo and our table and our
chairs to help create our set.
If you're in the Gainesvillearea and if you're not in the
Gainesville area, if you're inthe Atlanta area.
He's done some really coolstuff on HGTV, so go check him
(01:33):
out.
His brother, jack Woodworking,is an awesome dude, so make sure
you check him out.
Love that dude.
He's like my brother.
Jess (01:42):
I love that guy.
He's the little brother younever had.
Greg (01:44):
Yes, I love him to death, thank you Wes.
Yes, absolutely so.
As we jump in tonight, I justwant to say again right off the
get-go I know we've said thisbefore, but I want to say it
again Jess and I are not perfect.
No, we don't have this figuredout.
We're still 13 years in andstill trying to get our feet wet
and figure out what we're doingand how we're doing it now,
(02:05):
because we had small kids.
Now they're adult kids, just soyou know, jess and I we're not
perfect.
We're not perfect and we'recompletely opposites, we're
opposite people, we don't knowwhat we're doing.
Jess (02:20):
But we're just trying to have fun while we figure it out.
Greg (02:23):
We're going to share our lives and continue to share our
lives and things we've learned,things we've jacked up and
screwed up over the years, butin the same time, hoping you can
grab some nuggets out of it tomake your family better, whether
you're brand new being married,whether you're about to be
married, whether you're in yoursecond marriage, wherever you're
at, yeah, whether you're a corefamily or a blended family.
Yeah, hopefully there'ssomething you can grab out of
(02:46):
all of this.
Yeah.
Jess (02:47):
So tonight we want to talk about what it was like when you
and I dated.
Greg (02:52):
Ooh the dating.
I wasn't very good at datingbecause I had not done a whole
lot of that.
Jess (02:58):
I hadn't either.
Greg (02:59):
And so I wasn't really sure what to expect and what to
do.
So we talked about our firstdate being at Waffle House,
which you know us being highrollers.
That's just the way we roll.
We're fancy, yes, we are fancy,and so every Valentine's Day,
we do go to Waffle House.
Jess (03:15):
Yeah, because we met in February.
Greg (03:16):
Yes, and it's just a—.
Jess (03:18):
It was a Valentine's Day, but it counts.
Greg (03:20):
Yeah, it's just kind of fun to go there on Waffle House
and they have amazing waffles,but anyway, it's not a pitch for
Waffle House, no.
But so that was our first date.
Our second date we led off toand we hinted around to this,
that I want to do something funand something adventurous.
My life's kind of been a lot ofadventure things over the years
doing fun stuff.
So we went rock climbing, whichyou had never been really.
Jess (03:43):
No, but before we go there .
Greg (03:46):
Okay, whoa, all right, sorry, I'll put the brakes on.
Jess (03:49):
Yeah, how did you know you were ready to date?
Greg (04:03):
Oh, wow, man, that's a good question.
Yeah, if I'm a hundred percent,yes, that's what I prefer
honesty.
Okay, thank you.
I I didn't know if I did.
I said yes to the coffee and sowe had coffee tell me a little
bit more about that though sowhen we said I said yes to
coffee with you at Waffle House,that led into, we talked about
not just 30 minutes but hoursand hours into.
(04:23):
It was just a connection there.
It felt comfortable, it felteasy to have a conversation with
you.
It felt natural, it didn't feelforced, it didn't feel like I
was having to dig forconversations.
We were just having a good timesitting at the booth.
I still remember the same boothwe were at.
(04:44):
I still remember what you hadon actually and so, yeah, you
look really good in those jeans.
But past that, I think it wasjust really easy.
And so I didn't know 100%.
If you were to ask me are youready to date?
I don't know, I don't reallyknow.
Maybe, maybe not.
(05:04):
Everyone in my life would havetold me absolutely, not,
probably, just said but I moveat a different pace than a lot
of people do Sometimes.
I know that's extremelyfrustrating to you, but it's
kind of fast and this is the waymy mind works.
So, to answer that question, Idon't know if I was, but I
(05:27):
really liked you and I wanted togo on another date.
Jess (05:30):
But you didn't know if you liked me yet.
Greg (05:32):
I did from that first coffee date, but I liked you.
Jess (05:37):
Okay, how did you know you liked me?
Greg (05:41):
Well, because you were so sweet and so kind, because I had
a four-hour conversation withyou at a Waffle House booth.
That's why I knew that.
Jess (05:51):
But even before that, I didn't know before that.
Greg (05:54):
That's why I just said, I'll have coffee.
Jess (05:57):
So let's back up.
Before that, though, okay.
Okay, when our friends, ourmutual friends, said, okay, you
two have to meet.
Okay, we didn't meetface-to-face at first, no, it
was three or four weeks oftexting, but first it was
(06:23):
Facebook messaging.
Greg (06:25):
It was.
That's how we did it.
Well, okay, our first phonecall was.
I remember calling you.
I was walking.
Jess (06:33):
We had messaged back and forth on Facebook and then we
tiptoed into texting.
Greg (06:39):
We swapped numbers.
Jess (06:41):
We did.
Greg (06:41):
So we knew each other's phone numbers and I called you
to kind of set up the first date.
Jess (06:48):
Yes, but before that you had said is it okay if I call
you?
Greg (06:52):
Okay, you're going to have to fill me in on details.
I don't know.
Jess (06:55):
All of those Maybe, I don't know, I barely remember
what I had for lunch yesterday,so bear with me, we messaged
first on Facebook because webecame like Facebook friends.
This is before Instagram andall the other things.
Yep, it was like a millionyears ago in 2012.
Greg (07:16):
Yeah.
Jess (07:18):
And then through the course of that is when you asked
for my phone number and thenyou texted me a little bit, did
you have a diary.
Greg (07:27):
Were you documenting all this?
Jess (07:28):
No, my girl, we remember these things.
Greg (07:30):
Okay, gotcha All right.
Jess (07:32):
And then you ask for my phone number, and then you ask
me after a little bit.
Are you okay if I call you?
Greg (07:40):
Yeah.
Jess (07:41):
And so then the first phone call.
Do you remember that?
Yes, I remember that.
Greg (07:45):
Yes, I remember that.
I was trying to say that whenyou interrupted me and gave me
more details for the first phonecall.
Okay, well, I appreciate that.
Jess (07:53):
Girl we appreciate details .
Greg (07:55):
I appreciate details sometimes, sometimes Right.
So I was walking in the parkinglot of Chestnut Mountain Church
.
I was going to play a cornholetournament.
Jess (08:07):
I thought it was 12-stone.
Greg (08:08):
No, it was Chestnut Mountain Church.
It was in their gym area.
They were having a cornholetournament and Michael Coach
Parker was my teammate.
Shout out to Cherokee Bluff GoCoach Parker.
Amazing dude, he was in mystudent ministry for years Still
been friends and so he was mypartner and I mean I'm not
(08:30):
bragging or anything, but Ithink we came in top three of
that tournament.
You were up there.
Yeah, we were up there.
I mean we were dominating.
My games fell off since then,but anyway, I remember walking
in and having that conversationwith you about, well, there was
all that magical things going onwith you.
Yes.
Jess (08:49):
And I, on the receiving end of that phone call, was
walking into the grocery storewith my two children.
Greg (08:57):
Okay, yeah, so there you have it, and I remember that's
when we set up the actual firstdate and then, before the date
we had connected through, wewere just Facebooking face
messaging each other.
And I was like what are youdoing right now?
Jess (09:12):
Like it's weird, I'm watching Step Brothers.
I just put my kids to bed.
Greg (09:18):
Yeah, it was weird because I literally was watching the
exact same show you had done thesame thing.
Jess (09:23):
You put your kids to bed and we were watching the same
thing.
It was on TBS or something.
Greg (09:28):
It was on local TV and so I was watching Stepbrothers also
and we just started quotingthat to each other and just
laughing and we had a commonbond really quick.
Jess (09:38):
Also the really stupid movies, stupid movies.
Greg (09:42):
Yes, and that still continues to this day.
We still love to watch stupidmovies together.
Jess (09:48):
Throughout our getting to know each other, our love of
stupid movies just kind ofremains.
Greg (09:54):
Yeah, it's just grown.
Jess (09:55):
Literally 13 years later, that's still kind of where we're
at Try to pass that on to ourkids.
Greg (10:00):
I don't know if they all caught it.
Some like them, some don't.
Jess (10:02):
A couple of them.
Greg (10:04):
It hasn't grabbed like we thought it would, but you know I
tried Give it a good oldcollege try.
Jess (10:09):
It's okay, yeah, yeah.
Greg (10:11):
So I remember that, all of those fun things leading up to
that date so I guess that was alot of front-loading to the date
that we actually went on, whichwas at a climbing gym in
Atlanta, a massive climbing gymthat I'd been to a lot of times
(10:33):
and so I just went and I packeda picnic lunch with some fruit
and some just some snacks for usto go.
Jess (10:37):
And I had never been climbing of any sort, ever.
Greg (10:41):
Right.
So I have no idea.
We were rock climbing, had agood time.
It was just kind of fun justplaying around, just letting you
get the feel of it.
So it was just somethingadventurous to do, and then we
wound up at—.
Jess (10:53):
No, I teased you while we were at the climbing gym of why
you wanted to see me in aharness.
Greg (11:00):
Yeah, we referred to that in one of the other episodes
that I want to see your butt ina harness, and that's 1,000%
true.
I don't deny that at all, andso I wasn't disappointed.
So you know.
It's just saying what it is.
It is what it is Anyway.
Jess (11:16):
You're welcome.
Greg (11:17):
Yeah, so it led to dinner.
We went to dinner and weirdthing is we left both our phones
in the truck.
We did dinner and weird thingis we left both our phones in
the truck.
We did and just went to dinnerand, um, I thought dinner was
amazing, I thought it went overswimmingly.
I remember where we sat, uh, isthat arena tavern there?
And so we were, um, I don'tknow if arena tavern still thing
(11:39):
, but we were sitting over therein the bar area and just kind
of just chatting In a big oldbooth, yeah, just talking about
life and in general of the goods, the bad, the ugly, the fun
stuff.
Jess (11:56):
I thought it was going well, apparently, yeah, you had
a different perspective.
Your perspective of the day isvery different than mine, and so
, on my side of the table, Iremember you giving me the
speech of why you will nevertrust a woman and you can't see
(12:21):
yourself getting to know anotherwoman or getting into another
relationship with a woman, orwhy women can't be trusted.
Greg (12:36):
Okay, public service announcement.
Fellas, apparently that's not agood thing to share on your
first date.
Jess (12:40):
It's not, it's not cute.
Greg (12:42):
It wasn't meant to be cute ?
Oh, it was not.
I was still dealing to be cute.
I 100?
Oh it was not.
I was.
I was still dealing with a lotof that was some hurt I had some
baggage.
Jess (12:50):
You brought baggage, I definitely had the baggage to
the first real date.
Greg (12:55):
Yeah, I was unpacking it, trying to show it to you, you
threw it on the table.
Yeah, I was like here's my.
What do you think about that,liar?
So I had hurt.
I agree with that you did.
I don't remember it being quitewhat you said it was.
I think you may have beenreading into that.
It's okay, but anyway,apparently I did something right
(13:16):
because you went out with meagain.
Jess (13:18):
I did.
Greg (13:19):
So you know.
Jess (13:20):
Oh, here's a fun question, oh God.
Okay, go ahead, because I don'tknow the answer to this either
I bet not either.
Our first real date was thatnight after we indoor rock
climbed and went to therestaurant.
Do you remember our next dateafter that?
Oh man, Because I don't.
Greg (13:40):
Do you?
No, I don't remember either no.
I don't, because we went kindof incognito, we went undercover
.
Jess (13:49):
We didn't want.
Greg (13:51):
Because I didn't know if you would go out with me after
my great speech.
You didn't even know if I likedyou.
Right, I was like you know, Ijust gave my.
You know, this is me, this iswho I am speech.
Jess (14:02):
I was like okay, great, that's not where I'm at.
Greg (14:06):
Okay, thanks.
Luckily you hung around.
I don't know why, but you did.
It's your eyes.
That's why Then it was likewhen we would date, I had my
kids seven days and they weregone for seven days.
We tried to be very.
If they were at church onWednesday, we would go to a
restaurant.
Jess (14:27):
Because it took us okay, I say it took us a long time Our
dating, from dating to here yes,we are going to move forward
together to yes, we're going toget married.
And then married Was fast.
Greg (14:47):
In some minds yes.
Jess (14:48):
In a lot of minds.
Greg (14:49):
yeah, yeah it's not like Vegas fast, no, but it's fast.
You know, like Vegas fast islike hey, you look good throwing
those dices, let's get married.
We want to get married.
Yeah, it was a little longerthan that.
Jess (14:59):
Yeah, no.
Greg (15:00):
About a couple minutes.
Jess (15:02):
We met in February 2012.
Greg (15:05):
Yes.
Jess (15:06):
You proposed in July, and then we got married in October
2012.
Greg (15:13):
And everyone would tell you don't, don't, don't do that,
it's crazy.
And I would probably tell youdon't do that.
Jess (15:20):
Don't do that, hey.
Greg (15:23):
But 13 years later, yeah, I think it's working out.
Jess (15:26):
I think it's going to work out.
We're doing okay.
I feel good about it.
I feel good about it too.
Greg (15:29):
So I think, leading up to that though you just can't just
say that and not like we datedand we'll talk in another
episode about how we involvedour kids and how the kids got
involved.
Jess (15:42):
But right now, the kids did not know that.
My children didn't know I wasdating anybody.
Your children didn't know youwere dating anybody no, except
for the one time.
Greg (15:54):
Uh, we, we, we really got into the date we got in the
conversation and it was a localrestaurant, we're really into it
.
And then I looked down I waslike holy crap, I gotta go it
was a wednesday night yes, it, Igot to go.
It was a Wednesday night.
Yes, it was a Wednesday night,so Callie was at church.
Jess (16:07):
It's church night, not just Callie.
Callie, thomas, aaron, graceand Cody.
Greg (16:12):
Well, you're two in the mind.
I was just responsible for mine.
No, cody, I don't remember Codyhe was not at church that night
.
Jess (16:20):
Callie is the one.
Greg (16:21):
Anyway, Callie throws this up in my face to this day.
Jess (16:24):
And she's 25 years old and she still brought it up just a
couple months ago.
Greg (16:29):
Yeah, I was in Pensacola a couple months ago just hanging
out with her for a few days andshe brought it up.
Jess (16:33):
She did, I was like baby that's like a long time ago.
That's 150 years ago.
Greg (16:40):
So I was late to pick her up.
Every single person in thestudent ministry was gone, it
was her and the youth pastorsitting on the steps on the
front porch and she wasmortified, mortified, and so she
lets me know that, every singletime that we're together, that
you forgot and left me at church.
Jess (16:59):
But of all the places to forget, to pick up, that's a
great place.
Okay, let me back up.
You didn't forget to pick up.
That's a great place.
Okay, let me back up.
Greg (17:05):
You didn't forget to pick up Cali?
No, I just got distracted.
It's your fault, it's mainlyyour fault that I distracted.
No Moving past that, so ourkids didn't know.
Jess (17:18):
No.
Greg (17:18):
But there was a time when we introduced the kids into that
and we'll get into that later.
Jess (17:23):
That's a different story, but can we just rewind back a
little bit?
Greg (17:28):
Okay, go ahead.
I'm trying to move forward, butgo ahead.
You stay there.
I feel like you're about tothrow another stone.
Go ahead.
Jess (17:36):
When we were at Arena Tavern.
Again, I don't know if thatplace is still open or not.
Greg (17:42):
I'm pretty sure it is.
Jess (17:44):
Okay, so there was some weather.
Greg (17:47):
Yeah, tornadoes, yeah other stuff.
Jess (17:49):
So at that time, all the way until she passed away my
grandmother, nanny, she neededto be where I was, and then,
once we got married, she neededto be where you were to feel
safe in a storm.
Well, at that time I justgiggled thinking about it.
(18:14):
At that time I was still livingpretty much with my friends
Chad and Lisa that I mentionedand the how do we get here?
Yeah, and so when we left ourphones in the car yes, because
we were trying to like haveconversation, because we knew
(18:34):
where our children were andeverything was okay Well, we
were in another county, and thenthe bad weather was happening
closer to home.
And then the bad weather washappening closer to home, and so
Nanny had called my phone fivemillion times and left five
million voicemails about the badweather.
(18:56):
Jessie, I'm going to need youto come get me.
Jessie, what are we going to doabout the weather?
Jessie?
This Jessie that when shedidn't get me, she started
calling Chad and Lisa and I gotthe same voicemails from them,
like a million.
Greg (19:11):
I had none.
Jess (19:12):
None, but I had 50 million voice messages from Nanny, Chad
and Lisa and text, all thethings, and we had no idea.
Greg (19:26):
Yeah, so everybody was ticked at me right off the
get-go.
Jess (19:30):
Immediately, because you put me in danger.
Greg (19:32):
Yes, I was distracting you from the storms and therefore
put you in danger.
Jess (19:37):
Yes.
Greg (19:38):
Well, Nanny and I became buddies after that.
Yes, you did, but needless tosay, arena Tavern kind of holds
a special spot.
With that being said, like wehad, we had dated we we had not
introduced the kids we had donethose things.
Jess (19:52):
It was several weeks before we even we did.
Greg (19:55):
We got the kids involved, but the first time that we
actually realized that we lovedeach other yeah, it's a weird
kind of thing.
We never talked about it untilyears and years later.
Jess (20:07):
It was a while, years.
Greg (20:09):
But I realized.
You asked me when was the firsttime that you realized that?
Jess (20:13):
It was a book kind of like this book the Year of Us that
we used a couple's journal.
It was a book like that thatbrought this question up.
Greg (20:25):
I was putting on a bike rack on the on your car.
Our kids were running aroundplaying in the yard, um, and I
was laying under the car,literally bolting this thing to
the.
Jess (20:35):
I was just sitting in the driveway just talking to you.
Greg (20:37):
Yeah, and I don't know, it's just weird.
But I realized then I was likeI, this lady, yeah, this is good
, this is good, actually, like Ilove her.
Jess (20:47):
Yeah, it was the same day I had the same thought, because
all four of our kids wererunning around like maniacs in
the yard, like littles should do.
Greg (20:56):
Yes.
Jess (20:57):
And sitting there and there was music playing from
somebody's phone or whatever,and I had the same thought.
I was like, oh wow.
Greg (21:06):
So from that day forward, I started this thing.
I went home that night and Iprayed.
I was like, okay, god, if thisis the person you want me to
marry, if this is her and I loveher, I'm not going into debt
and I need a ring in order topropose to her.
So if you want me to marry thislady, give me a ring.
Jess (21:26):
And so I started.
Greg (21:27):
I didn't tell anybody that .
Jess (21:29):
Like no one.
Yeah, I didn't know.
Greg (21:32):
Yeah.
So I started just praying thatprayer to myself when I was
there God, give me a ring.
If you want me to marry her,give me a ring.
And we continued Like, showyourself.
Jess (21:40):
We continued to date one another.
We continued After weintroduced our children to one
another I mean, we all familydated but then an easy way for
us to have a date night alonewas while we dropped our
children off at church onWednesdays.
We just continued to get toknow each other, although
(22:01):
neither one of us knew at thatpoint that we loved one another
until and we didn't even talkabout this beforehand but the
DVD presentation that you made.
Greg (22:14):
I did.
Jess (22:16):
Sweetest thing ever.
Greg (22:18):
Yeah, it was by Ray LaMontagne, a song called you
Are the Best Thing.
Jess (22:24):
Which was our wedding song .
Greg (22:25):
And it was pictures of us from the very first post that we
have actually here, the veryfirst post that we were here.
Jess (22:32):
Yes, behind me.
Greg (22:33):
Yep, that we posted on social media.
I used a bunch of pictures andat the end I told you I loved
you, and so I remember showingyou as a slideshow, because
video wasn't a really big thingthen.
And so we remember showing youas a slideshow, because video
wasn't a really big thing then,and so we did that.
Jess (22:49):
But what you're getting at was I'm not going into debt.
God please provide.
Greg (22:55):
No, I think I kind of wanted to.
I knew myself personally whereI was at with you and I was like
I love this lady, I don't wantto move too fast, I don't want
to do something that's hurtfulto my kids, to me, to you, to
your kids.
So I was like, okay, god, ifthe timing is right, I'm waiting
on your timing you show me whatit is you want.
(23:19):
And so I started praying thatprayer.
Okay, god, give me a ring.
If you want me to marry her,give me a ring.
Jess (23:26):
And so at that point and this is a very emotional thing
for me and you too, because yougot to know her, know her, my
grandmother, nanny, thosefriends and family that know her
(23:48):
, if you knew her, whetheryou're related or not, her
name's Nanny.
She was always very special tome because I was the only
granddaughter.
So I was rotten At one pointbecause she just did life with
me.
She had the fortunatecircumstance to be able to
(24:08):
retire.
She was a younggreat-grandmother to my children
, but she was a younggreat-grandmother and anyway,
she was very involved in my life.
And at some point, obviouslyprior to when Greg and I got
engaged, she came to me and saidI have this ring that is set
(24:40):
aside for you and my will when Ipass away.
But I just really feel likeGod's telling me to give that to
you right now.
And I was like okay, that'sweird, but I'm going to trust
you.
Are you sure you know this,that and the other?
She was like, yeah, I meanbecause she had already fallen
in to trust you.
Are you sure you know this,that and the other.
She was like, yeah, I meanbecause she had already fallen
(25:01):
in love with you.
Yeah, the first or second timeshe met you.
She was hugging on you andsmacked you on the bottom.
Greg (25:10):
Yeah, we had a very fun relationship, to say the least.
Yeah, yeah.
Jess (25:17):
Yeah, yeah.
So she just gave it to me andshe said I feel like you don't
need to wait.
And I was just like yes, ma'am,Okay, so I'm just going to put
this away.
Greg (25:29):
No, keep in mind, I never had this conversation with
anyone.
Jess (25:34):
No.
Greg (25:34):
Like I didn't have this conversation with Nanny and I
carried—Nanny and I becamereally good buddies later on in
our marriage that I would takeher to all not all a large
majority of her doctor visits.
I knew all her doctors by firstname.
They knew me.
We didn't know how to introduceme, so she just started calling
you her grandson, yeah grandson, because it's weird.
(25:56):
We were trying to explain itthe first couple times.
It just got odd, yeah, so wenever.
I never told her, I never toldanyone the idea of.
Jess (26:06):
You and I had talked about like we can see a future
together.
Greg (26:11):
Yeah, but I never said, hey, I want to marry you.
No, I never said any of thosewords to you.
I never said that wasinternally for me.
Yeah, From that point where Iknew I loved you and so I was
just praying God, if you reallywant this to happen, I'm waiting
on you.
So when you give me a ring, I'mgoing to know it's Stan.
Jess (26:28):
And I can remember standing in my kitchen at my
house.
Greg (26:32):
Yeah, kids were in the backyard running around
screaming, yelling, playing.
Jess (26:35):
As usual.
Greg (26:36):
Yeah.
Jess (26:37):
And I remember saying so I don't know where you're at, but
here.
Nanny gave me this ring and shewas like, because it was her.
It was the first ring Her andPapa had bought a wedding set
(26:57):
and, honestly, me and my mamaand my aunt, we didn't know this
particular ring even existed.
That she gave me there was anentirely different wedding set
that she had worn, so we're notreal sure at what timeline of
the I mean 60 years that theywere married, where that my
(27:18):
particular ring came from.
None of us do.
And so I was just like, okay,so Nanny gave me this ring
because she feels like that, sheknows that you and I are
supposed to be together.
I'm just going to put it inthis box and I'm going to give
it to you.
Greg (27:36):
See, I don't remember any of that.
All I remember, literally iswe're in your kitchen.
My kitchen, yeah, and youliterally said hey, my nanny
gave this to me and she told meto give it to you and it doesn't
mean anything, it doesn't.
Jess (27:52):
Do with it what you feel, yeah.
Greg (27:54):
And I remember and I was like what do you mean?
And I opened my hand and youjust set this ring in my hand.
Jess (27:59):
The little black box.
Greg (28:01):
And I was like what is that?
And I remember opening it upand it was a ring and I
literally it was one of thosemoments where you're just like
it's not to be over religiousbecause I'm not a, but at the
same time I was like I didn'tpray, but at the same time
there's a lot of like, there's alot of for you and I.
(28:21):
My faith is a huge part of whoI am.
Jess (28:24):
Right.
Greg (28:24):
If you meet me, you're not going to go.
That guy's a Bible thumping guy.
But at the same time my faithis a huge part of my life.
But when you set that ring boxin my hand, it was a literal
answer to prayer.
Yeah, it's like God said hereyou go.
Jess (28:37):
But I didn't know you were praying that.
Greg (28:38):
No, I had no idea.
I was the only one who knewthat.
Yeah, and I was just likespeechless.
I was like, okay, I got to go,and I remember just walking
outside it was like really, God,Like, really, Like.
This is it Like really.
And so I remember being flofloored and stunned and I was
like okay, so this is what we'regoing to do, so this is it,
here's where we're going.
And so from that point on, Iwas like okay, so we're going to
(29:01):
get engaged and here's how it'sgoing to happen.
Yeah, and so I startedinvolving our kids in trying to
figure it out.
Jess (29:10):
Only Callie and Cody knew about the proposal plan Right.
But I love that story when welike me and Thomas and Aaron
Grace, you and Callie and Cody,and then my friends Chad and
Lisa and their girlies Molly andEllie we all went to St Simon's
(29:31):
together and we rented this bighouse and everybody had rooms,
and you, you had this littlepitiful servants quarters.
Greg (29:40):
I was in the call.
Closet under the closet, yes.
Jess (29:44):
The closet under the stairs, yes you were such a good
sport, but it's so funny yeah,I was like I'll just you know
what I'll sleep in the closetair conditioning vent in there
no, it was rough.
Greg (29:53):
It was rough.
I'd rather sleep on the couch,but I you know I'll do it but at
that point I still was clueless.
Jess (29:59):
I didn't know where we were going.
I mean, we had talked about it,but not like actual plans of
where we were going, and so Ididn't know that, behind the
scenes, that you had asked yoursister to have the ring size to
fit me and that you and Callieand Cody had had this elaborate
(30:19):
proposal plan that didn'tinvolve me and Thomas and Aaron
Grace, because you wanted Thomasand Aaron Grace to be surprised
as well.
Greg (30:26):
No, so I did for the seven days we were there I took these
little cool little Chineselittle box things that you get
Chinese food in and I wrote anote on the front of each one of
them.
That was just for me, yeah,something I loved about you.
So I did seven things that Ireally enjoyed and loved about
you, and then I usually put agift in there that had to do
(30:47):
with it.
Jess (30:47):
And most of them had a gift attached to it.
Greg (30:49):
Yeah, so it was like it was simple gifts, like when was
the DVD of Stupid Movies?
When was your favorite candyAnch?
What was your favorite candyAnchorman?
So it was just lots ofdifferent things.
Well, once you put all of thoseseven notes together.
This is how my mind works.
It's kind of weird, but you putthose seven notes together.
If you flip them over and putthem all together, there was a
(31:12):
treasure map.
I know when I look back at itI'm like so cheesy but it's so
sweet.
But at the same time I had thistreasure map drawn out with
this big X on there and Cody andI and I was scared to death
that if your grandmother's butyou didn't bury the ring.
Jess (31:26):
You buried the box.
I did.
Greg (31:28):
You had the ring in your pocket Because I was like I am
not putting your grandmother'sring on the beach and there was
this big axe that we made out ofwood and we buried it and so we
videoed it Somewhere.
That video is out there.
Jess (31:42):
It's somewhere.
Greg (31:43):
We'll have to see if we can find it, but it was us.
It was probably one of ourkids' video because it was lots
of screaming and yelling, but weactually, when you opened the
box, it got on one knee, so allfour kids were there and there
was another letter attached toit.
Yeah, all four kids were thereI have all of those and so we
did a whole proposal and so itwas there at St Salmon's Island
(32:03):
and then we were married inOctober.
Jess (32:05):
So the end, february, the end From February 2012 to
October 2012.
That's our whole whirlwindromance.
Whirlwind romance, but thewhole point of what we're
talking about tonight is how didwe make sure that we still
dated each other, becausemarriage is about each other,
(32:28):
not just children, whether it'sthe core family or a blended
family Like.
The whole point is, how do wekeep dating one another and keep
like our I mean the girl wordour romance alive?
So we.
Greg (32:46):
We were very much like dating, trying to figure out how
do we date each other with fourkids.
It's insane, it's crazy.
So we were very tried to bevery intentional about our dates
.
Yes, we're going to have atleast every other week we're
going to have some time whereyou and I sit down together.
Well, that turned out to beStarbucks at Kroger before we
(33:08):
went to buy groceries.
So we would actually go earlyget a coffee and we would just
sit and hang out and chat andtalk, just the two of us.
It would help us plan our menu,but then also our week, so that
we could also figure out whathappened and what was going on,
what's coming up, what kid'sgoing where it wasn't.
Jess (33:29):
A whose kid is going where it was?
Which kid needs what?
And this is how we're going todivide our time.
But then also, where do you andI connect?
Greg (33:39):
So we were very intentional about how we were
spending that time.
We always used to do datestogether.
Like even as our kids got older, we would go on dates and we'd
just be like, hey, you guyshanging out at home.
We always used the phrase andour kids hated it.
I was like you guys are goingto leave us one day and it's
going to be me and you, jess andI, so we're going to go on a
(34:01):
date.
You guys have fun here, we'recoming back, but we need to
spend time together.
There's a statistic that's kindof crazy.
Jess (34:10):
It's sad it says, and this is not marriages first, second
core blended, whatever marriagesfirst, second core blended
whatever Marriages in general is40% of marriages end after kids
leave home.
Greg (34:29):
Yeah, I think so many reasons because we're not
intentional and our lives becomeabout our kids and ball fields
and not about each other.
Jess (34:33):
There's no common ground left.
Greg (34:35):
And so, looking at the long game for us, we were
looking at the long term and theloan game, saying, when these
guys leave, I still want to havea relationship with Jess, I
want to still be connected toher.
So how do we do that?
So we were very intentionalabout every year we would go on
a week trip with some friendsjust adults In the summer.
(34:57):
Yeah, without kids Alone.
Yeah, just the two of us, andwe tried to continue that as
much as we could, as we couldafford it.
The money was tight at times,but we always tried to get away
at least just us once a yearthat way.
Jess (35:11):
And we always made a big deal about our anniversary.
Greg (35:14):
Yes, we always went away on our anniversary.
Jess (35:15):
We tried to for a couple days, which worked out great
because I'm a teacher and that'swhen fall break usually landed.
We were fortunate with that,yeah.
Greg (35:26):
But it was just a great reminder of— we also planned it
on an off weekend of Georgiafootball, so that's why it kind
of fell in fall break.
Jess (35:31):
Duh.
That's why our anniversary iswhat it is because it was an off
weekend.
Greg (35:35):
But, regardless, the whole idea behind it was is we tried
to be very, very intentionalabout spending time with each
other?
Yeah, because it's very easy toget caught up in life Mm-hmm,
I'm sorry, and our lives wereincredibly busy.
We had a lot of kids and a lotof stuff going on.
Jess (35:55):
It was a circus, yeah, so I get life's busy it doesn't
matter if it was a four-kid week, that's how we referred to it.
If it was a four-kid week or atwo-kid week, we're going to
show up to all four kids' events.
Greg (36:06):
Right.
Jess (36:07):
Every single day of whatever it was, and so it's not
even like, oh well, you've justgot Thomas and Aaron Grace this
week.
No, we still have Callie andCody this week.
It's just that they're notsleeping at our house, so it was
never an off week or a whateverweek it was.
(36:28):
We have four kids in general,so that's why it was so
important to make sure that youand I still maintained our
connection.
Greg (36:37):
Okay, yeah, I agree a thousand percent.
So let's get if you're stillwith us.
Thank you, Thank you.
Because we've been all over theplace.
But also, too, we're going toreach that section in our
podcast where we do unpacking.
Jess (36:51):
We're going to unpack.
Greg (36:51):
We're going to unpack and give you some really practical
things.
Jess (36:57):
Yeah, thank you for being patient, for listening to us on
like our story.
It's fun to talk about ourstory because it's been fun, but
also the whole reason why weshare all of this is so that you
can know that there's okay.
And then what?
Greg (37:14):
Yeah, there's.
This is our life Like.
This is our life Like.
This is stuff we've lived andgone through.
So this is very, very real forus.
But we also, too, know we wantto give you practical things
that you sit down with yoursignificant other and you do,
whether it's that coffee at theStarbucks at Kroger, or whether
(37:35):
it's going out to a date,whatever it is.
I want to give you somethingthat makes your marriage better,
because I cannot stand the factthat 70% of marriages second
marriages with kids is going toend in divorce.
I'm not okay with that.
So I'm going to give you asmuch as I can give you to help
make that better.
And here's my encouragement toyou.
(37:56):
We share a lot of stuff in hereabout our lives and what we've
done and what's worked and whathasn't worked.
But I'll tell you this Ifthere's anything I want you to
do, I want you to applysomething, do something Like.
I heard this phrase and it sosticks with me and it's like if
(38:18):
you don't do something,nothing's going to change.
So you have to do something asa couple.
If you find yourself in not agreat place, then change
something.
If you don't change something,nothing's going to change?
Yeah, it's a simple phrase, butjust apply it.
So unpacking.
Jess (38:34):
It's simple, but it's not Right At the same time.
Greg (38:38):
Well, it's hard to start.
Jess (38:39):
Yeah, that's the problem.
Greg (38:41):
So where do we start unpacking?
What do you got for us in thisfun phase of practicality?
Jess (38:46):
And if you're looking on video, I have my handy dandy
outline and this is just whathelps me.
But the biggest part thatstands out to me right now is to
live in the chaos.
You can't avoid it.
Greg (39:03):
You can manage it.
Jess (39:04):
You can.
I keep saying this phrase,whether it's a core family or a
blended family.
You've got to live in the chaos, you can't deny it, and you've
got to work with it to benefiteverybody.
Right, and that may seemimpossible.
However, if you keep your eyeon the prize, because, like you
(39:28):
said earlier, when all thosekids leave, it's going to be me
and you.
Greg (39:33):
Yeah.
Jess (39:34):
It's going to be me and you, yeah, so it's even like
little bitty things, like ourdates, when we would go to have
coffee before we would do ourgroceries, or whatever.
The calendar is not romantic, Imean, it's just not.
Greg (39:51):
No.
Jess (39:52):
It's truly not.
Greg (39:53):
But it's practical, it's real.
Jess (39:55):
It's practical and it's real.
Greg (39:56):
You put it on my calendar.
I'm going to see it.
I'm going to do it.
Jess (39:58):
A million percent.
Greg (40:00):
Yep.
Jess (40:00):
A shared calendar.
I will say this a sharedcalendar is a must, whether it's
on your phone or if it's somefancy thing, I don't know about,
that you can share on an app orwhatever the case may be.
A calendar is a must if you'vegot a lot of kids, or even if
(40:21):
you just got two kids andthere's a thousand sports going
on or whatever.
It's not romantic, but it it iswhat it is right it's, it's
communication so put on thecounter schedule it even if you
have to schedule a date night orif you have to, if you got to
(40:42):
schedule alone time or schedulea cocktail at the end of the
night.
Yeah.
Greg (40:47):
Well, whatever it is, if that's how, schedule it and then
put your phone down.
Put your freaking phone down,yeah, and be where you're at.
Yeah, like be in the moment.
Jess (40:57):
Make eye contact.
Greg (40:58):
Yeah, put your phone down and be in the moment Like you do
.
That that speaks volumes.
It's a game changer.
There's something I do and I'vecaught crap about it and people
ask me why do you do it?
But every morning my alarm'sset for 6.15, because I know you
get up at 5 o'clock and you doyour God knows what you do for
(41:23):
an hour and 15 minutes, but at6.15, my alarm goes off.
I get up, I brush my teeth andI go make you coffee?
you do uh every my water withlime, yes, I do water with lime
and I make coffee and I know howthe coffee goes, how to make
your coffee.
Try to every.
I'm gonna say I do it everymorning, but I'm almost 95, like
I'm pretty good, yeah, um, thensomeone asked me one time they
(41:44):
go, why do you do that?
Jess (41:46):
and I was like you don't have to quote, unquote, have to,
you don't have to get up thatearly, 100%.
Greg (41:50):
Like I'm pretty good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And someone asked me one timethey go why do you do that?
Because you don't have to quoteunquote, have to, you don't
have to get up that early.
No, I don't.
My job doesn't require me toget up that early at all.
No, but I do because I get tosee you and I told— You're going
to make me cry.
I told my friends I rememberwhen I used to wake up at my
house and it was just me.
I remember how that felt.
(42:11):
I remember how it sounded and Iwas like, if I have somebody
who's there that I can makecoffee for, I'm going to get my
butt out of bed and go make themcoffee.
The benefit for me is, once youleave, it's me and the dogs and
the house is quiet.
You get your little buddies andso, yeah, I get my alone time
and I get to kind of chill andhave a moment, but it's also
(42:33):
that it's something that I getto do for you, that I want to
show you that I appreciate youand I love you.
It's something simple.
And then on the flip side forme not to be like a downer.
Jess (42:53):
but you never know.
You never know when that lastcup of coffee might be, you
never know when that last kindgesture might be.
And I feel like if married,when married folks would look at
their lives like you and I lookat it, you're saying it's the
kind gesture that you can do forme and I'm saying you just
(43:14):
never know.
Greg (43:15):
Yeah.
Jess (43:16):
If you could just treasure those moments of when the
calendar is chaotic.
Don't forget to date each otherright when you have a two and a
four-year-old yeah, it's noteasy don't forget to date each
other.
Call on aunts, call on cousinsthat are grown up, call on
grandparents yep, becausealthough that time seems chaotic
(43:42):
, because we've been there bothwithout each other and with each
other, don't forget that part.
That's what brought your familytogether in the first place.
Greg (43:54):
So be intentional.
Calendar, put it on.
Ladies.
I'm telling you right now,right now, as this podcast comes
out, right now is the iron isis hot strike.
There's no football on.
Golf hasn't get cranked up, oh,that's so.
There's nothing really outthere.
The masters really hasn'thappened.
Golf doesn't start till themasters happens really at our
(44:16):
house anyway, um, and so it'sjust like.
It's like right now.
There's no nfl draft, there'sno.
Like we're talking like this isthe time to sit down with your
significant other and plan outthe rest of your year, not to
say that when you're going to goaway for the weekend when
you're going to do some datenights Like you have it.
Get his attention now and planthose things out.
I mean NASCAR's going, but youknow it's four and a half hours.
(44:39):
You can grab some time in afour and a Half hour race.
Yeah, I'm sorry, Ashley.
Anyway, my best to you.
So, unpacking, unpacking, let'swrap it up, let's wrap up.
Jess (44:50):
Plan intentionally plan time as a couple.
Greg (44:54):
Okay.
Jess (44:55):
Period.
Greg (44:56):
Yep.
Jess (44:57):
No matter what it looks like.
Greg (44:58):
Okay, plan time.
Be intentional, ladies.
Now's the time let's do this.
Men, get over ourselves.
Put your phone down, spend sometime with your wife.
Plan out your year, what you'regoing to do, what you're going
to check out.
Be intentional.
Don't just put it on thecalendar, freaking.
Do it, do something.
Jess (45:17):
Don't forget the reason why you got together in the
first place.
Greg (45:23):
Perfect, the one thing that we said we were going to
the reason why you got togetherin the first place.
Okay, perfect.
And then the one thing that wesay we're going to start and we
haven't done because we keepforgetting, is the book.
So we're going back to a bookthat we actually love.
It's called A Year of Us andit's something that we just have
lots of questions.
It just sparks conversations.
Yeah, it's by.
Jess (45:42):
Alicia Munoz.
We've never met her.
We plan on reaching out to her.
So in an upcoming reel I'mgoing to ask Greg a question
that he's never heard beforefrom a year of us.
So be looking for we're goingto do it now.
Greg (46:01):
Let's do it right now.
Jess (46:03):
Production team.
Greg (46:05):
Yeah, we're done.
Let's's go give it to me.
Come on, okay.
Oh, reading glasses, readingglasses.
She's so prepared glasses, sosexy with those glasses I'm so
excited because I remember themget it, grandma, you ready?
Jess (46:17):
yeah, I'm ready I'm so excited about this because we
love history, so much whathistorical event do you wish you
could have witnessed firsthand,and why?
Greg (46:28):
Whoa really Okay.
So two things Okay.
Historical event, such a goodquestion, isn't it?
Jess (46:37):
Okay so?
Greg (46:38):
historical being like documented historically it is
not specific.
Jess (46:44):
What historical event do you wish you could have been
witness to firsthand?
Why?
Greg (46:51):
I have two.
Jess (46:53):
I'm so excited I've had this page like literally folded
in half for like weeks.
Greg (47:00):
These are the first two that popped in my mind and I'm
going to pick.
As I share these two, I'm goingto pick two, Okay.
Jess (47:07):
I feel like I know what one of them.
Greg (47:09):
One of them is the parting of the Red Sea.
Oh, from the story where Mosesparted the Red Sea.
When I've seen historical it'sjust phenomenal and I don't know
why my mind went straight tothe Bible.
Part of history, because welove history.
Jess (47:28):
Because you're a Christian first of all, and we love
history.
Greg (47:31):
I do, I do, I would love to be just to see that.
That's interesting, becausethere's so many histories about
seeing wagon wheels and thedocuments of stuff.
That's actually where thathappened at, and just to be able
to see that in person would bephenomenal.
And another one, it's anotherBible story the feeding of the
(47:52):
5,000.
Ooh, that's a good one thefishes and loaves, and they fed
5,000 people.
Here's the thing I think Ididn't grow up in church.
I think I didn't grow up inchurch.
And so when I see God do thesereally cool, crazy things and
show out and just reminds uswhere we are in all of this huge
(48:17):
story and this journey, it justdude.
It gets me emotional and itgets me.
I get fired up about it, like Ihave some stories where I've
seen God just show up.
Jess (48:26):
You do you have your fishes and loaves story I did.
Greg (48:33):
It was feeding some guys, feeding a bunch of the guys in
Atlanta for Thanksgiving.
Jess (48:41):
Production team.
Will you write that down?
Greg's fishes and loaves story.
Greg (48:45):
I'll share that sometime, but it was.
It was Atlanta story, Don't?
Okay, I just so those are mytwo, that just kind of pop in my
head that I would love to.
Just I don't know.
Jess (48:57):
I love it when God shows up.
Greg (48:58):
Yes, absolutely.
Jess (48:59):
I didn't know we were in two.
I'm going to share two.
Greg (49:01):
You don't have to share one.
I I'm going to share two.
Jess (49:03):
You don't have to you can share one, I have two, okay Okay
.
First is Jesus' crucifixion.
Greg (49:09):
You want to witness that.
Jess (49:11):
Just because like heaven came down and it was a whole
like the earth.
Greg (49:19):
It seems scary to me.
Jess (49:20):
honestly, it would be terrifying, and I don't like
scary things.
Greg (49:23):
Yeah.
But it's like that moment I do,but that scares me.
Jess (49:26):
Yeah, but it was that moment when it, like literally
became reality.
It's interesting because Ichose that and I'm thinking
about this in my own mind ratherthan his resurrection, because
there's only a select few peoplethat got to witness that.
Greg (49:45):
Actually it's documented that several hundred people.
Yeah, it really depends onComparatively speaking.
Yes, I mean, yeah, not a lot ofpeople, but there were hundreds
of people.
Jess (49:58):
Then okay, then a literally historical fact is not
biblical at all.
Greg (50:03):
Yeah, wait.
Jess (50:04):
Okay, sorry, you got to talk again.
Greg (50:05):
Wow, yeah, I yeah, Wait, okay sorry.
Jess (50:06):
You're about to talk again .
Wow, yeah, I was.
Wait, you scared me.
Go ahead To see.
I don't know why this is sofascinating in my mind, but it
is when Abraham Lincolndelivered the Emancipation
Proclamation.
Can you imagine?
Greg (50:26):
Yeah, he was a stud.
He was yeah, that was yeah.
Yeah, I was about to go likeyeah, I literally went like
quote unquote historical, butthat's always been fascinating
to me.
Jess (50:40):
Like did he know?
Greg (50:42):
No, there's no way, did he ?
Jess (50:43):
know, I don't know.
I imagine he hoped, but whoknew?
Greg (50:46):
No, there's no way.
Did he know?
I don't know.
I imagine he hoped.
But who knew?
Jess (50:49):
Hoped yeah.
Greg (50:50):
Anyway.
Jess (50:51):
Our hope is.
Greg (50:55):
Did you take some of this stuff and apply it?
Jess (50:58):
Not the last part, but that it makes any sense at all.
Yes, at all, and that my hopeis, honestly, that you remember
to date each other, becausedating each other is the whole
reason why you're a family inthe first place, and after you
raise these people that are thechildren of your family, whether
(51:20):
you had them together or youblended them together them
together or you blended themtogether they are going to leave
and it's still going to be youtwo.
Greg (51:28):
My walk away, unpacking everything being done.
Jess (51:31):
What did you unpack, Greg?
Greg (51:38):
Fight for that woman, fight for your relationship.
Everything has a shelf life,and so you get to determine in
your marriage what that shelflife looks like.
You can renew it, you can pourinto it, you can do everything
and focus on it.
(51:58):
No matter if it's your firstmarriage or third marriage, I
don't care what marriage you'reon.
If you choose to fight for itand focus for it, it will win
and fight and fight to win.
Jess (52:09):
So, all that being, said, dating helps that the word is
choice, yeah dating helps makethat more fun.
It.
Does you choose to date eachother?
Greg (52:16):
Yeah.
And so we say all that to sayJess and I are completely
different people.
We think different, we actdifferent, we see life
differently, but we've chosen tosay we love each other and
we're going to fight for eachother and we're going to
continue to pour out our livesfor you guys through baggage
claim, just hoping that you grabone nugget, whether in your car
(52:41):
, whether at your table, whetheryou're drinking your coffee,
and say my marriage is worthfighting for and I'm going to
keep fighting and I'm going tokeep going and I'm going to make
it work.
So that's kind of where we'reat tonight, and so thank you for
joining us.
I know tonight was a littlelonger than normal.
Jess (52:57):
Yeah, thank you so much.
Greg (52:59):
So you guys.
Jess (53:00):
It's longer than normal, but it's worth it, yeah.
Greg (53:10):
And it the normal, but it's worth it.
Yeah, and it's important.
Love you guys and thank youguys so much.
I mean it's insane for me thatthere are people all across the
united states listening to us,from oregon to chicago to, I
mean, hawaii yeah, like you, youname it we have really just
simply want to hear what we haveto say, whether it's through a
family member or a friend thathas shared this podcast with you
.
Jess (53:24):
We truly, genuinely, genuinely appreciate it because,
like we said before, we have noidea what we're doing, but I
know in my heart that God hascalled us to this, but we don't
know what to do with it yet.
So thank you for exploring thiswith us.
Greg (53:40):
So if you're real people and you have questions or you
want to just talk to us, reachout to us and we would love to
chat with you, interact with you.
We're just living life andhaving fun, so thank you for
joining us tonight.
Jess (53:52):
Thank you for unpacking your baggage with us.
Greg (53:54):
Yeah, thanks for unpacking .
We'll see you again.
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm Greg.
I hope you guys are ready tounpack and get into some good
conversations today.
Jess (00:07):
And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast Baggage Claim.
Thank you for joining us.
Greg (00:17):
Welcome to Baggage Claim man.
What a crazy few weeks we'vehad.
This is our fifth episode, so Iwant to encourage you wherever
you're at riding in your car,sitting at your table, grab your
favorite drink, whatever thatmay be, whatever kind of day you
had.
That's completely yes,metaphorically.
(00:38):
If you're driving down the road, hopefully that favorite drink
is a good chai tea or ice wateror ice water or a mocha with
almond milk, and just enjoy andlet's unpack together as we jump
into a new episode tonight.
So thank you guys for listeningso much and joining us.
I want to say right off theget-go though, before we get too
(01:01):
much into it we want to give aspecial shout out.
Jess (01:04):
Yes to brother jack woodworking as west price.
Greg (01:08):
Yes, yes, gainesville, georgia yes, amazing dude does
some incredibly cool uh,woodworking a true craftsman
including our beautiful logo.
Yes, he helped us, uh, get ourlogo and our table and our
chairs to help create our set.
If you're in the Gainesvillearea and if you're not in the
Gainesville area, if you're inthe Atlanta area.
He's done some really coolstuff on HGTV, so go check him
(01:33):
out.
His brother, jack Woodworking,is an awesome dude, so make sure
you check him out.
Love that dude.
He's like my brother.
Jess (01:42):
I love that guy.
He's the little brother younever had.
Greg (01:44):
Yes, I love him to death, thank you Wes.
Yes, absolutely so.
As we jump in tonight, I justwant to say again right off the
get-go I know we've said thisbefore, but I want to say it
again Jess and I are not perfect.
No, we don't have this figuredout.
We're still 13 years in andstill trying to get our feet wet
and figure out what we're doingand how we're doing it now,
(02:05):
because we had small kids.
Now they're adult kids, just soyou know, jess and I we're not
perfect.
We're not perfect and we'recompletely opposites, we're
opposite people, we don't knowwhat we're doing.
Jess (02:20):
But we're just trying to have fun while we figure it out.
Greg (02:23):
We're going to share our lives and continue to share our
lives and things we've learned,things we've jacked up and
screwed up over the years, butin the same time, hoping you can
grab some nuggets out of it tomake your family better, whether
you're brand new being married,whether you're about to be
married, whether you're in yoursecond marriage, wherever you're
at, yeah, whether you're a corefamily or a blended family.
Yeah, hopefully there'ssomething you can grab out of
(02:46):
all of this.
Yeah.
Jess (02:47):
So tonight we want to talk about what it was like when you
and I dated.
Greg (02:52):
Ooh the dating.
I wasn't very good at datingbecause I had not done a whole
lot of that.
Jess (02:58):
I hadn't either.
Greg (02:59):
And so I wasn't really sure what to expect and what to
do.
So we talked about our firstdate being at Waffle House,
which you know us being highrollers.
That's just the way we roll.
We're fancy, yes, we are fancy,and so every Valentine's Day,
we do go to Waffle House.
Jess (03:15):
Yeah, because we met in February.
Greg (03:16):
Yes, and it's just a—.
Jess (03:18):
It was a Valentine's Day, but it counts.
Greg (03:20):
Yeah, it's just kind of fun to go there on Waffle House
and they have amazing waffles,but anyway, it's not a pitch for
Waffle House, no.
But so that was our first date.
Our second date we led off toand we hinted around to this,
that I want to do something funand something adventurous.
My life's kind of been a lot ofadventure things over the years
doing fun stuff.
So we went rock climbing, whichyou had never been really.
Jess (03:43):
No, but before we go there .
Greg (03:46):
Okay, whoa, all right, sorry, I'll put the brakes on.
Jess (03:49):
Yeah, how did you know you were ready to date?
Greg (04:03):
Oh, wow, man, that's a good question.
Yeah, if I'm a hundred percent,yes, that's what I prefer
honesty.
Okay, thank you.
I I didn't know if I did.
I said yes to the coffee and sowe had coffee tell me a little
bit more about that though sowhen we said I said yes to
coffee with you at Waffle House,that led into, we talked about
not just 30 minutes but hoursand hours into.
(04:23):
It was just a connection there.
It felt comfortable, it felteasy to have a conversation with
you.
It felt natural, it didn't feelforced, it didn't feel like I
was having to dig forconversations.
We were just having a good timesitting at the booth.
I still remember the same boothwe were at.
(04:44):
I still remember what you hadon actually and so, yeah, you
look really good in those jeans.
But past that, I think it wasjust really easy.
And so I didn't know 100%.
If you were to ask me are youready to date?
I don't know, I don't reallyknow.
Maybe, maybe not.
(05:04):
Everyone in my life would havetold me absolutely, not,
probably, just said but I moveat a different pace than a lot
of people do Sometimes.
I know that's extremelyfrustrating to you, but it's
kind of fast and this is the waymy mind works.
So, to answer that question, Idon't know if I was, but I
(05:27):
really liked you and I wanted togo on another date.
Jess (05:30):
But you didn't know if you liked me yet.
Greg (05:32):
I did from that first coffee date, but I liked you.
Jess (05:37):
Okay, how did you know you liked me?
Greg (05:41):
Well, because you were so sweet and so kind, because I had
a four-hour conversation withyou at a Waffle House booth.
That's why I knew that.
Jess (05:51):
But even before that, I didn't know before that.
Greg (05:54):
That's why I just said, I'll have coffee.
Jess (05:57):
So let's back up.
Before that, though, okay.
Okay, when our friends, ourmutual friends, said, okay, you
two have to meet.
Okay, we didn't meetface-to-face at first, no, it
was three or four weeks oftexting, but first it was
(06:23):
Facebook messaging.
Greg (06:25):
It was.
That's how we did it.
Well, okay, our first phonecall was.
I remember calling you.
I was walking.
Jess (06:33):
We had messaged back and forth on Facebook and then we
tiptoed into texting.
Greg (06:39):
We swapped numbers.
Jess (06:41):
We did.
Greg (06:41):
So we knew each other's phone numbers and I called you
to kind of set up the first date.
Jess (06:48):
Yes, but before that you had said is it okay if I call
you?
Greg (06:52):
Okay, you're going to have to fill me in on details.
I don't know.
Jess (06:55):
All of those Maybe, I don't know, I barely remember
what I had for lunch yesterday,so bear with me, we messaged
first on Facebook because webecame like Facebook friends.
This is before Instagram andall the other things.
Yep, it was like a millionyears ago in 2012.
Greg (07:16):
Yeah.
Jess (07:18):
And then through the course of that is when you asked
for my phone number and thenyou texted me a little bit, did
you have a diary.
Greg (07:27):
Were you documenting all this?
Jess (07:28):
No, my girl, we remember these things.
Greg (07:30):
Okay, gotcha All right.
Jess (07:32):
And then you ask for my phone number, and then you ask
me after a little bit.
Are you okay if I call you?
Greg (07:40):
Yeah.
Jess (07:41):
And so then the first phone call.
Do you remember that?
Yes, I remember that.
Greg (07:45):
Yes, I remember that.
I was trying to say that whenyou interrupted me and gave me
more details for the first phonecall.
Okay, well, I appreciate that.
Jess (07:53):
Girl we appreciate details .
Greg (07:55):
I appreciate details sometimes, sometimes Right.
So I was walking in the parkinglot of Chestnut Mountain Church
.
I was going to play a cornholetournament.
Jess (08:07):
I thought it was 12-stone.
Greg (08:08):
No, it was Chestnut Mountain Church.
It was in their gym area.
They were having a cornholetournament and Michael Coach
Parker was my teammate.
Shout out to Cherokee Bluff GoCoach Parker.
Amazing dude, he was in mystudent ministry for years Still
been friends and so he was mypartner and I mean I'm not
(08:30):
bragging or anything, but Ithink we came in top three of
that tournament.
You were up there.
Yeah, we were up there.
I mean we were dominating.
My games fell off since then,but anyway, I remember walking
in and having that conversationwith you about, well, there was
all that magical things going onwith you.
Yes.
Jess (08:49):
And I, on the receiving end of that phone call, was
walking into the grocery storewith my two children.
Greg (08:57):
Okay, yeah, so there you have it, and I remember that's
when we set up the actual firstdate and then, before the date
we had connected through, wewere just Facebooking face
messaging each other.
And I was like what are youdoing right now?
Jess (09:12):
Like it's weird, I'm watching Step Brothers.
I just put my kids to bed.
Greg (09:18):
Yeah, it was weird because I literally was watching the
exact same show you had done thesame thing.
Jess (09:23):
You put your kids to bed and we were watching the same
thing.
It was on TBS or something.
Greg (09:28):
It was on local TV and so I was watching Stepbrothers also
and we just started quotingthat to each other and just
laughing and we had a commonbond really quick.
Jess (09:38):
Also the really stupid movies, stupid movies.
Greg (09:42):
Yes, and that still continues to this day.
We still love to watch stupidmovies together.
Jess (09:48):
Throughout our getting to know each other, our love of
stupid movies just kind ofremains.
Greg (09:54):
Yeah, it's just grown.
Jess (09:55):
Literally 13 years later, that's still kind of where we're
at Try to pass that on to ourkids.
Greg (10:00):
I don't know if they all caught it.
Some like them, some don't.
Jess (10:02):
A couple of them.
Greg (10:04):
It hasn't grabbed like we thought it would, but you know I
tried Give it a good oldcollege try.
Jess (10:09):
It's okay, yeah, yeah.
Greg (10:11):
So I remember that, all of those fun things leading up to
that date so I guess that was alot of front-loading to the date
that we actually went on, whichwas at a climbing gym in
Atlanta, a massive climbing gymthat I'd been to a lot of times
(10:33):
and so I just went and I packeda picnic lunch with some fruit
and some just some snacks for usto go.
Jess (10:37):
And I had never been climbing of any sort, ever.
Greg (10:41):
Right.
So I have no idea.
We were rock climbing, had agood time.
It was just kind of fun justplaying around, just letting you
get the feel of it.
So it was just somethingadventurous to do, and then we
wound up at—.
Jess (10:53):
No, I teased you while we were at the climbing gym of why
you wanted to see me in aharness.
Greg (11:00):
Yeah, we referred to that in one of the other episodes
that I want to see your butt ina harness, and that's 1,000%
true.
I don't deny that at all, andso I wasn't disappointed.
So you know.
It's just saying what it is.
It is what it is Anyway.
Jess (11:16):
You're welcome.
Greg (11:17):
Yeah, so it led to dinner.
We went to dinner and weirdthing is we left both our phones
in the truck.
We did dinner and weird thingis we left both our phones in
the truck.
We did and just went to dinnerand, um, I thought dinner was
amazing, I thought it went overswimmingly.
I remember where we sat, uh, isthat arena tavern there?
And so we were, um, I don'tknow if arena tavern still thing
(11:39):
, but we were sitting over therein the bar area and just kind
of just chatting In a big oldbooth, yeah, just talking about
life and in general of the goods, the bad, the ugly, the fun
stuff.
Jess (11:56):
I thought it was going well, apparently, yeah, you had
a different perspective.
Your perspective of the day isvery different than mine, and so
, on my side of the table, Iremember you giving me the
speech of why you will nevertrust a woman and you can't see
(12:21):
yourself getting to know anotherwoman or getting into another
relationship with a woman, orwhy women can't be trusted.
Greg (12:36):
Okay, public service announcement.
Fellas, apparently that's not agood thing to share on your
first date.
Jess (12:40):
It's not, it's not cute.
Greg (12:42):
It wasn't meant to be cute ?
Oh, it was not.
I was still dealing to be cute.
I 100?
Oh it was not.
I was.
I was still dealing with a lotof that was some hurt I had some
baggage.
Jess (12:50):
You brought baggage, I definitely had the baggage to
the first real date.
Greg (12:55):
Yeah, I was unpacking it, trying to show it to you, you
threw it on the table.
Yeah, I was like here's my.
What do you think about that,liar?
So I had hurt.
I agree with that you did.
I don't remember it being quitewhat you said it was.
I think you may have beenreading into that.
It's okay, but anyway,apparently I did something right
(13:16):
because you went out with meagain.
Jess (13:18):
I did.
Greg (13:19):
So you know.
Jess (13:20):
Oh, here's a fun question, oh God.
Okay, go ahead, because I don'tknow the answer to this either
I bet not either.
Our first real date was thatnight after we indoor rock
climbed and went to therestaurant.
Do you remember our next dateafter that?
Oh man, Because I don't.
Greg (13:40):
Do you?
No, I don't remember either no.
I don't, because we went kindof incognito, we went undercover
.
Jess (13:49):
We didn't want.
Greg (13:51):
Because I didn't know if you would go out with me after
my great speech.
You didn't even know if I likedyou.
Right, I was like you know, Ijust gave my.
You know, this is me, this iswho I am speech.
Jess (14:02):
I was like okay, great, that's not where I'm at.
Greg (14:06):
Okay, thanks.
Luckily you hung around.
I don't know why, but you did.
It's your eyes.
That's why Then it was likewhen we would date, I had my
kids seven days and they weregone for seven days.
We tried to be very.
If they were at church onWednesday, we would go to a
restaurant.
Jess (14:27):
Because it took us okay, I say it took us a long time Our
dating, from dating to here yes,we are going to move forward
together to yes, we're going toget married.
And then married Was fast.
Greg (14:47):
In some minds yes.
Jess (14:48):
In a lot of minds.
Greg (14:49):
yeah, yeah it's not like Vegas fast, no, but it's fast.
You know, like Vegas fast islike hey, you look good throwing
those dices, let's get married.
We want to get married.
Yeah, it was a little longerthan that.
Jess (14:59):
Yeah, no.
Greg (15:00):
About a couple minutes.
Jess (15:02):
We met in February 2012.
Greg (15:05):
Yes.
Jess (15:06):
You proposed in July, and then we got married in October
2012.
Greg (15:13):
And everyone would tell you don't, don't, don't do that,
it's crazy.
And I would probably tell youdon't do that.
Jess (15:20):
Don't do that, hey.
Greg (15:23):
But 13 years later, yeah, I think it's working out.
Jess (15:26):
I think it's going to work out.
We're doing okay.
I feel good about it.
I feel good about it too.
Greg (15:29):
So I think, leading up to that though you just can't just
say that and not like we datedand we'll talk in another
episode about how we involvedour kids and how the kids got
involved.
Jess (15:42):
But right now, the kids did not know that.
My children didn't know I wasdating anybody.
Your children didn't know youwere dating anybody no, except
for the one time.
Greg (15:54):
Uh, we, we, we really got into the date we got in the
conversation and it was a localrestaurant, we're really into it
.
And then I looked down I waslike holy crap, I gotta go it
was a wednesday night yes, it, Igot to go.
It was a Wednesday night.
Yes, it was a Wednesday night,so Callie was at church.
Jess (16:07):
It's church night, not just Callie.
Callie, thomas, aaron, graceand Cody.
Greg (16:12):
Well, you're two in the mind.
I was just responsible for mine.
No, cody, I don't remember Codyhe was not at church that night
.
Jess (16:20):
Callie is the one.
Greg (16:21):
Anyway, Callie throws this up in my face to this day.
Jess (16:24):
And she's 25 years old and she still brought it up just a
couple months ago.
Greg (16:29):
Yeah, I was in Pensacola a couple months ago just hanging
out with her for a few days andshe brought it up.
Jess (16:33):
She did, I was like baby that's like a long time ago.
That's 150 years ago.
Greg (16:40):
So I was late to pick her up.
Every single person in thestudent ministry was gone, it
was her and the youth pastorsitting on the steps on the
front porch and she wasmortified, mortified, and so she
lets me know that, every singletime that we're together, that
you forgot and left me at church.
Jess (16:59):
But of all the places to forget, to pick up, that's a
great place.
Okay, let me back up.
You didn't forget to pick up.
That's a great place.
Okay, let me back up.
Greg (17:05):
You didn't forget to pick up Cali?
No, I just got distracted.
It's your fault, it's mainlyyour fault that I distracted.
No Moving past that, so ourkids didn't know.
Jess (17:18):
No.
Greg (17:18):
But there was a time when we introduced the kids into that
and we'll get into that later.
Jess (17:23):
That's a different story, but can we just rewind back a
little bit?
Greg (17:28):
Okay, go ahead.
I'm trying to move forward, butgo ahead.
You stay there.
I feel like you're about tothrow another stone.
Go ahead.
Jess (17:36):
When we were at Arena Tavern.
Again, I don't know if thatplace is still open or not.
Greg (17:42):
I'm pretty sure it is.
Jess (17:44):
Okay, so there was some weather.
Greg (17:47):
Yeah, tornadoes, yeah other stuff.
Jess (17:49):
So at that time, all the way until she passed away my
grandmother, nanny, she neededto be where I was, and then,
once we got married, she neededto be where you were to feel
safe in a storm.
Well, at that time I justgiggled thinking about it.
(18:14):
At that time I was still livingpretty much with my friends
Chad and Lisa that I mentionedand the how do we get here?
Yeah, and so when we left ourphones in the car yes, because
we were trying to like haveconversation, because we knew
(18:34):
where our children were andeverything was okay Well, we
were in another county, and thenthe bad weather was happening
closer to home.
And then the bad weather washappening closer to home, and so
Nanny had called my phone fivemillion times and left five
million voicemails about the badweather.
(18:56):
Jessie, I'm going to need youto come get me.
Jessie, what are we going to doabout the weather?
Jessie?
This Jessie that when shedidn't get me, she started
calling Chad and Lisa and I gotthe same voicemails from them,
like a million.
Greg (19:11):
I had none.
Jess (19:12):
None, but I had 50 million voice messages from Nanny, Chad
and Lisa and text, all thethings, and we had no idea.
Greg (19:26):
Yeah, so everybody was ticked at me right off the
get-go.
Jess (19:30):
Immediately, because you put me in danger.
Greg (19:32):
Yes, I was distracting you from the storms and therefore
put you in danger.
Jess (19:37):
Yes.
Greg (19:38):
Well, Nanny and I became buddies after that.
Yes, you did, but needless tosay, arena Tavern kind of holds
a special spot.
With that being said, like wehad, we had dated we we had not
introduced the kids we had donethose things.
Jess (19:52):
It was several weeks before we even we did.
Greg (19:55):
We got the kids involved, but the first time that we
actually realized that we lovedeach other yeah, it's a weird
kind of thing.
We never talked about it untilyears and years later.
Jess (20:07):
It was a while, years.
Greg (20:09):
But I realized.
You asked me when was the firsttime that you realized that?
Jess (20:13):
It was a book kind of like this book the Year of Us that
we used a couple's journal.
It was a book like that thatbrought this question up.
Greg (20:25):
I was putting on a bike rack on the on your car.
Our kids were running aroundplaying in the yard, um, and I
was laying under the car,literally bolting this thing to
the.
Jess (20:35):
I was just sitting in the driveway just talking to you.
Greg (20:37):
Yeah, and I don't know, it's just weird.
But I realized then I was likeI, this lady, yeah, this is good
, this is good, actually, like Ilove her.
Jess (20:47):
Yeah, it was the same day I had the same thought, because
all four of our kids wererunning around like maniacs in
the yard, like littles should do.
Greg (20:56):
Yes.
Jess (20:57):
And sitting there and there was music playing from
somebody's phone or whatever,and I had the same thought.
I was like, oh wow.
Greg (21:06):
So from that day forward, I started this thing.
I went home that night and Iprayed.
I was like, okay, god, if thisis the person you want me to
marry, if this is her and I loveher, I'm not going into debt
and I need a ring in order topropose to her.
So if you want me to marry thislady, give me a ring.
Jess (21:26):
And so I started.
Greg (21:27):
I didn't tell anybody that .
Jess (21:29):
Like no one.
Yeah, I didn't know.
Greg (21:32):
Yeah.
So I started just praying thatprayer to myself when I was
there God, give me a ring.
If you want me to marry her,give me a ring.
And we continued Like, showyourself.
Jess (21:40):
We continued to date one another.
We continued After weintroduced our children to one
another I mean, we all familydated but then an easy way for
us to have a date night alonewas while we dropped our
children off at church onWednesdays.
We just continued to get toknow each other, although
(22:01):
neither one of us knew at thatpoint that we loved one another
until and we didn't even talkabout this beforehand but the
DVD presentation that you made.
Greg (22:14):
I did.
Jess (22:16):
Sweetest thing ever.
Greg (22:18):
Yeah, it was by Ray LaMontagne, a song called you
Are the Best Thing.
Jess (22:24):
Which was our wedding song .
Greg (22:25):
And it was pictures of us from the very first post that we
have actually here, the veryfirst post that we were here.
Jess (22:32):
Yes, behind me.
Greg (22:33):
Yep, that we posted on social media.
I used a bunch of pictures andat the end I told you I loved
you, and so I remember showingyou as a slideshow, because
video wasn't a really big thingthen.
And so we remember showing youas a slideshow, because video
wasn't a really big thing then,and so we did that.
Jess (22:49):
But what you're getting at was I'm not going into debt.
God please provide.
Greg (22:55):
No, I think I kind of wanted to.
I knew myself personally whereI was at with you and I was like
I love this lady, I don't wantto move too fast, I don't want
to do something that's hurtfulto my kids, to me, to you, to
your kids.
So I was like, okay, god, ifthe timing is right, I'm waiting
on your timing you show me whatit is you want.
(23:19):
And so I started praying thatprayer.
Okay, god, give me a ring.
If you want me to marry her,give me a ring.
Jess (23:26):
And so at that point and this is a very emotional thing
for me and you too, because yougot to know her, know her, my
grandmother, nanny, thosefriends and family that know her
(23:48):
, if you knew her, whetheryou're related or not, her
name's Nanny.
She was always very special tome because I was the only
granddaughter.
So I was rotten At one pointbecause she just did life with
me.
She had the fortunatecircumstance to be able to
(24:08):
retire.
She was a younggreat-grandmother to my children
, but she was a younggreat-grandmother and anyway,
she was very involved in my life.
And at some point, obviouslyprior to when Greg and I got
engaged, she came to me and saidI have this ring that is set
(24:40):
aside for you and my will when Ipass away.
But I just really feel likeGod's telling me to give that to
you right now.
And I was like okay, that'sweird, but I'm going to trust
you.
Are you sure you know this,that and the other?
She was like, yeah, I meanbecause she had already fallen
in to trust you.
Are you sure you know this,that and the other.
She was like, yeah, I meanbecause she had already fallen
(25:01):
in love with you.
Yeah, the first or second timeshe met you.
She was hugging on you andsmacked you on the bottom.
Greg (25:10):
Yeah, we had a very fun relationship, to say the least.
Yeah, yeah.
Jess (25:17):
Yeah, yeah.
So she just gave it to me andshe said I feel like you don't
need to wait.
And I was just like yes, ma'am,Okay, so I'm just going to put
this away.
Greg (25:29):
No, keep in mind, I never had this conversation with
anyone.
Jess (25:34):
No.
Greg (25:34):
Like I didn't have this conversation with Nanny and I
carried—Nanny and I becamereally good buddies later on in
our marriage that I would takeher to all not all a large
majority of her doctor visits.
I knew all her doctors by firstname.
They knew me.
We didn't know how to introduceme, so she just started calling
you her grandson, yeah grandson, because it's weird.
(25:56):
We were trying to explain itthe first couple times.
It just got odd, yeah, so wenever.
I never told her, I never toldanyone the idea of.
Jess (26:06):
You and I had talked about like we can see a future
together.
Greg (26:11):
Yeah, but I never said, hey, I want to marry you.
No, I never said any of thosewords to you.
I never said that wasinternally for me.
Yeah, From that point where Iknew I loved you and so I was
just praying God, if you reallywant this to happen, I'm waiting
on you.
So when you give me a ring, I'mgoing to know it's Stan.
Jess (26:28):
And I can remember standing in my kitchen at my
house.
Greg (26:32):
Yeah, kids were in the backyard running around
screaming, yelling, playing.
Jess (26:35):
As usual.
Greg (26:36):
Yeah.
Jess (26:37):
And I remember saying so I don't know where you're at, but
here.
Nanny gave me this ring and shewas like, because it was her.
It was the first ring Her andPapa had bought a wedding set
(26:57):
and, honestly, me and my mamaand my aunt, we didn't know this
particular ring even existed.
That she gave me there was anentirely different wedding set
that she had worn, so we're notreal sure at what timeline of
the I mean 60 years that theywere married, where that my
(27:18):
particular ring came from.
None of us do.
And so I was just like, okay,so Nanny gave me this ring
because she feels like that, sheknows that you and I are
supposed to be together.
I'm just going to put it inthis box and I'm going to give
it to you.
Greg (27:36):
See, I don't remember any of that.
All I remember, literally iswe're in your kitchen.
My kitchen, yeah, and youliterally said hey, my nanny
gave this to me and she told meto give it to you and it doesn't
mean anything, it doesn't.
Jess (27:52):
Do with it what you feel, yeah.
Greg (27:54):
And I remember and I was like what do you mean?
And I opened my hand and youjust set this ring in my hand.
Jess (27:59):
The little black box.
Greg (28:01):
And I was like what is that?
And I remember opening it upand it was a ring and I
literally it was one of thosemoments where you're just like
it's not to be over religiousbecause I'm not a, but at the
same time I was like I didn'tpray, but at the same time
there's a lot of like, there's alot of for you and I.
(28:21):
My faith is a huge part of whoI am.
Jess (28:24):
Right.
Greg (28:24):
If you meet me, you're not going to go.
That guy's a Bible thumping guy.
But at the same time my faithis a huge part of my life.
But when you set that ring boxin my hand, it was a literal
answer to prayer.
Yeah, it's like God said hereyou go.
Jess (28:37):
But I didn't know you were praying that.
Greg (28:38):
No, I had no idea.
I was the only one who knewthat.
Yeah, and I was just likespeechless.
I was like, okay, I got to go,and I remember just walking
outside it was like really, God,Like, really, Like.
This is it Like really.
And so I remember being flofloored and stunned and I was
like okay, so this is what we'regoing to do, so this is it,
here's where we're going.
And so from that point on, Iwas like okay, so we're going to
(29:01):
get engaged and here's how it'sgoing to happen.
Yeah, and so I startedinvolving our kids in trying to
figure it out.
Jess (29:10):
Only Callie and Cody knew about the proposal plan Right.
But I love that story when welike me and Thomas and Aaron
Grace, you and Callie and Cody,and then my friends Chad and
Lisa and their girlies Molly andEllie we all went to St Simon's
(29:31):
together and we rented this bighouse and everybody had rooms,
and you, you had this littlepitiful servants quarters.
Greg (29:40):
I was in the call.
Closet under the closet, yes.
Jess (29:44):
The closet under the stairs, yes you were such a good
sport, but it's so funny yeah,I was like I'll just you know
what I'll sleep in the closetair conditioning vent in there
no, it was rough.
Greg (29:53):
It was rough.
I'd rather sleep on the couch,but I you know I'll do it but at
that point I still was clueless.
Jess (29:59):
I didn't know where we were going.
I mean, we had talked about it,but not like actual plans of
where we were going, and so Ididn't know that, behind the
scenes, that you had asked yoursister to have the ring size to
fit me and that you and Callieand Cody had had this elaborate
(30:19):
proposal plan that didn'tinvolve me and Thomas and Aaron
Grace, because you wanted Thomasand Aaron Grace to be surprised
as well.
Greg (30:26):
No, so I did for the seven days we were there I took these
little cool little Chineselittle box things that you get
Chinese food in and I wrote anote on the front of each one of
them.
That was just for me, yeah,something I loved about you.
So I did seven things that Ireally enjoyed and loved about
you, and then I usually put agift in there that had to do
(30:47):
with it.
Jess (30:47):
And most of them had a gift attached to it.
Greg (30:49):
Yeah, so it was like it was simple gifts, like when was
the DVD of Stupid Movies?
When was your favorite candyAnch?
What was your favorite candyAnchorman?
So it was just lots ofdifferent things.
Well, once you put all of thoseseven notes together.
This is how my mind works.
It's kind of weird, but you putthose seven notes together.
If you flip them over and putthem all together, there was a
(31:12):
treasure map.
I know when I look back at itI'm like so cheesy but it's so
sweet.
But at the same time I had thistreasure map drawn out with
this big X on there and Cody andI and I was scared to death
that if your grandmother's butyou didn't bury the ring.
Jess (31:26):
You buried the box.
I did.
Greg (31:28):
You had the ring in your pocket Because I was like I am
not putting your grandmother'sring on the beach and there was
this big axe that we made out ofwood and we buried it and so we
videoed it Somewhere.
That video is out there.
Jess (31:42):
It's somewhere.
Greg (31:43):
We'll have to see if we can find it, but it was us.
It was probably one of ourkids' video because it was lots
of screaming and yelling, but weactually, when you opened the
box, it got on one knee, so allfour kids were there and there
was another letter attached toit.
Yeah, all four kids were thereI have all of those and so we
did a whole proposal and so itwas there at St Salmon's Island
(32:03):
and then we were married inOctober.
Jess (32:05):
So the end, february, the end From February 2012 to
October 2012.
That's our whole whirlwindromance.
Whirlwind romance, but thewhole point of what we're
talking about tonight is how didwe make sure that we still
dated each other, becausemarriage is about each other,
(32:28):
not just children, whether it'sthe core family or a blended
family Like.
The whole point is, how do wekeep dating one another and keep
like our I mean the girl wordour romance alive?
So we.
Greg (32:46):
We were very much like dating, trying to figure out how
do we date each other with fourkids.
It's insane, it's crazy.
So we were very tried to bevery intentional about our dates
.
Yes, we're going to have atleast every other week we're
going to have some time whereyou and I sit down together.
Well, that turned out to beStarbucks at Kroger before we
(33:08):
went to buy groceries.
So we would actually go earlyget a coffee and we would just
sit and hang out and chat andtalk, just the two of us.
It would help us plan our menu,but then also our week, so that
we could also figure out whathappened and what was going on,
what's coming up, what kid'sgoing where it wasn't.
Jess (33:29):
A whose kid is going where it was?
Which kid needs what?
And this is how we're going todivide our time.
But then also, where do you andI connect?
Greg (33:39):
So we were very intentional about how we were
spending that time.
We always used to do datestogether.
Like even as our kids got older, we would go on dates and we'd
just be like, hey, you guyshanging out at home.
We always used the phrase andour kids hated it.
I was like you guys are goingto leave us one day and it's
going to be me and you, jess andI, so we're going to go on a
(34:01):
date.
You guys have fun here, we'recoming back, but we need to
spend time together.
There's a statistic that's kindof crazy.
Jess (34:10):
It's sad it says, and this is not marriages first, second
core blended, whatever marriagesfirst, second core blended
whatever Marriages in general is40% of marriages end after kids
leave home.
Greg (34:29):
Yeah, I think so many reasons because we're not
intentional and our lives becomeabout our kids and ball fields
and not about each other.
Jess (34:33):
There's no common ground left.
Greg (34:35):
And so, looking at the long game for us, we were
looking at the long term and theloan game, saying, when these
guys leave, I still want to havea relationship with Jess, I
want to still be connected toher.
So how do we do that?
So we were very intentionalabout every year we would go on
a week trip with some friendsjust adults In the summer.
(34:57):
Yeah, without kids Alone.
Yeah, just the two of us, andwe tried to continue that as
much as we could, as we couldafford it.
The money was tight at times,but we always tried to get away
at least just us once a yearthat way.
Jess (35:11):
And we always made a big deal about our anniversary.
Greg (35:14):
Yes, we always went away on our anniversary.
Jess (35:15):
We tried to for a couple days, which worked out great
because I'm a teacher and that'swhen fall break usually landed.
We were fortunate with that,yeah.
Greg (35:26):
But it was just a great reminder of— we also planned it
on an off weekend of Georgiafootball, so that's why it kind
of fell in fall break.
Jess (35:31):
Duh.
That's why our anniversary iswhat it is because it was an off
weekend.
Greg (35:35):
But, regardless, the whole idea behind it was is we tried
to be very, very intentionalabout spending time with each
other?
Yeah, because it's very easy toget caught up in life Mm-hmm,
I'm sorry, and our lives wereincredibly busy.
We had a lot of kids and a lotof stuff going on.
Jess (35:55):
It was a circus, yeah, so I get life's busy it doesn't
matter if it was a four-kid week, that's how we referred to it.
If it was a four-kid week or atwo-kid week, we're going to
show up to all four kids' events.
Greg (36:06):
Right.
Jess (36:07):
Every single day of whatever it was, and so it's not
even like, oh well, you've justgot Thomas and Aaron Grace this
week.
No, we still have Callie andCody this week.
It's just that they're notsleeping at our house, so it was
never an off week or a whateverweek it was.
(36:28):
We have four kids in general,so that's why it was so
important to make sure that youand I still maintained our
connection.
Greg (36:37):
Okay, yeah, I agree a thousand percent.
So let's get if you're stillwith us.
Thank you, Thank you.
Because we've been all over theplace.
But also, too, we're going toreach that section in our
podcast where we do unpacking.
Jess (36:51):
We're going to unpack.
Greg (36:51):
We're going to unpack and give you some really practical
things.
Jess (36:57):
Yeah, thank you for being patient, for listening to us on
like our story.
It's fun to talk about ourstory because it's been fun, but
also the whole reason why weshare all of this is so that you
can know that there's okay.
And then what?
Greg (37:14):
Yeah, there's.
This is our life Like.
This is our life Like.
This is stuff we've lived andgone through.
So this is very, very real forus.
But we also, too, know we wantto give you practical things
that you sit down with yoursignificant other and you do,
whether it's that coffee at theStarbucks at Kroger, or whether
(37:35):
it's going out to a date,whatever it is.
I want to give you somethingthat makes your marriage better,
because I cannot stand the factthat 70% of marriages second
marriages with kids is going toend in divorce.
I'm not okay with that.
So I'm going to give you asmuch as I can give you to help
make that better.
And here's my encouragement toyou.
(37:56):
We share a lot of stuff in hereabout our lives and what we've
done and what's worked and whathasn't worked.
But I'll tell you this Ifthere's anything I want you to
do, I want you to applysomething, do something Like.
I heard this phrase and it sosticks with me and it's like if
(38:18):
you don't do something,nothing's going to change.
So you have to do something asa couple.
If you find yourself in not agreat place, then change
something.
If you don't change something,nothing's going to change?
Yeah, it's a simple phrase, butjust apply it.
So unpacking.
Jess (38:34):
It's simple, but it's not Right At the same time.
Greg (38:38):
Well, it's hard to start.
Jess (38:39):
Yeah, that's the problem.
Greg (38:41):
So where do we start unpacking?
What do you got for us in thisfun phase of practicality?
Jess (38:46):
And if you're looking on video, I have my handy dandy
outline and this is just whathelps me.
But the biggest part thatstands out to me right now is to
live in the chaos.
You can't avoid it.
Greg (39:03):
You can manage it.
Jess (39:04):
You can.
I keep saying this phrase,whether it's a core family or a
blended family.
You've got to live in the chaos, you can't deny it, and you've
got to work with it to benefiteverybody.
Right, and that may seemimpossible.
However, if you keep your eyeon the prize, because, like you
(39:28):
said earlier, when all thosekids leave, it's going to be me
and you.
Greg (39:33):
Yeah.
Jess (39:34):
It's going to be me and you, yeah, so it's even like
little bitty things, like ourdates, when we would go to have
coffee before we would do ourgroceries, or whatever.
The calendar is not romantic, Imean, it's just not.
Greg (39:51):
No.
Jess (39:52):
It's truly not.
Greg (39:53):
But it's practical, it's real.
Jess (39:55):
It's practical and it's real.
Greg (39:56):
You put it on my calendar.
I'm going to see it.
I'm going to do it.
Jess (39:58):
A million percent.
Greg (40:00):
Yep.
Jess (40:00):
A shared calendar.
I will say this a sharedcalendar is a must, whether it's
on your phone or if it's somefancy thing, I don't know about,
that you can share on an app orwhatever the case may be.
A calendar is a must if you'vegot a lot of kids, or even if
(40:21):
you just got two kids andthere's a thousand sports going
on or whatever.
It's not romantic, but it it iswhat it is right it's, it's
communication so put on thecounter schedule it even if you
have to schedule a date night orif you have to, if you got to
(40:42):
schedule alone time or schedulea cocktail at the end of the
night.
Yeah.
Greg (40:47):
Well, whatever it is, if that's how, schedule it and then
put your phone down.
Put your freaking phone down,yeah, and be where you're at.
Yeah, like be in the moment.
Jess (40:57):
Make eye contact.
Greg (40:58):
Yeah, put your phone down and be in the moment Like you do
.
That that speaks volumes.
It's a game changer.
There's something I do and I'vecaught crap about it and people
ask me why do you do it?
But every morning my alarm'sset for 6.15, because I know you
get up at 5 o'clock and you doyour God knows what you do for
(41:23):
an hour and 15 minutes, but at6.15, my alarm goes off.
I get up, I brush my teeth andI go make you coffee?
you do uh every my water withlime, yes, I do water with lime
and I make coffee and I know howthe coffee goes, how to make
your coffee.
Try to every.
I'm gonna say I do it everymorning, but I'm almost 95, like
I'm pretty good, yeah, um, thensomeone asked me one time they
(41:44):
go, why do you do that?
Jess (41:46):
and I was like you don't have to quote, unquote, have to,
you don't have to get up thatearly, 100%.
Greg (41:50):
Like I'm pretty good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And someone asked me one timethey go why do you do that?
Because you don't have to quoteunquote, have to, you don't
have to get up that early.
No, I don't.
My job doesn't require me toget up that early at all.
No, but I do because I get tosee you and I told— You're going
to make me cry.
I told my friends I rememberwhen I used to wake up at my
house and it was just me.
I remember how that felt.
(42:11):
I remember how it sounded and Iwas like, if I have somebody
who's there that I can makecoffee for, I'm going to get my
butt out of bed and go make themcoffee.
The benefit for me is, once youleave, it's me and the dogs and
the house is quiet.
You get your little buddies andso, yeah, I get my alone time
and I get to kind of chill andhave a moment, but it's also
(42:33):
that it's something that I getto do for you, that I want to
show you that I appreciate youand I love you.
It's something simple.
And then on the flip side forme not to be like a downer.
Jess (42:53):
but you never know.
You never know when that lastcup of coffee might be, you
never know when that last kindgesture might be.
And I feel like if married,when married folks would look at
their lives like you and I lookat it, you're saying it's the
kind gesture that you can do forme and I'm saying you just
(43:14):
never know.
Greg (43:15):
Yeah.
Jess (43:16):
If you could just treasure those moments of when the
calendar is chaotic.
Don't forget to date each otherright when you have a two and a
four-year-old yeah, it's noteasy don't forget to date each
other.
Call on aunts, call on cousinsthat are grown up, call on
grandparents yep, becausealthough that time seems chaotic
(43:42):
, because we've been there bothwithout each other and with each
other, don't forget that part.
That's what brought your familytogether in the first place.
Greg (43:54):
So be intentional.
Calendar, put it on.
Ladies.
I'm telling you right now,right now, as this podcast comes
out, right now is the iron isis hot strike.
There's no football on.
Golf hasn't get cranked up, oh,that's so.
There's nothing really outthere.
The masters really hasn'thappened.
Golf doesn't start till themasters happens really at our
(44:16):
house anyway, um, and so it'sjust like.
It's like right now.
There's no nfl draft, there'sno.
Like we're talking like this isthe time to sit down with your
significant other and plan outthe rest of your year, not to
say that when you're going to goaway for the weekend when
you're going to do some datenights Like you have it.
Get his attention now and planthose things out.
I mean NASCAR's going, but youknow it's four and a half hours.
(44:39):
You can grab some time in afour and a Half hour race.
Yeah, I'm sorry, Ashley.
Anyway, my best to you.
So, unpacking, unpacking, let'swrap it up, let's wrap up.
Jess (44:50):
Plan intentionally plan time as a couple.
Greg (44:54):
Okay.
Jess (44:55):
Period.
Greg (44:56):
Yep.
Jess (44:57):
No matter what it looks like.
Greg (44:58):
Okay, plan time.
Be intentional, ladies.
Now's the time let's do this.
Men, get over ourselves.
Put your phone down, spend sometime with your wife.
Plan out your year, what you'regoing to do, what you're going
to check out.
Be intentional.
Don't just put it on thecalendar, freaking.
Do it, do something.
Jess (45:17):
Don't forget the reason why you got together in the
first place.
Greg (45:23):
Perfect, the one thing that we said we were going to
the reason why you got togetherin the first place.
Okay, perfect.
And then the one thing that wesay we're going to start and we
haven't done because we keepforgetting, is the book.
So we're going back to a bookthat we actually love.
It's called A Year of Us andit's something that we just have
lots of questions.
It just sparks conversations.
Yeah, it's by.
Jess (45:42):
Alicia Munoz.
We've never met her.
We plan on reaching out to her.
So in an upcoming reel I'mgoing to ask Greg a question
that he's never heard beforefrom a year of us.
So be looking for we're goingto do it now.
Greg (46:01):
Let's do it right now.
Jess (46:03):
Production team.
Greg (46:05):
Yeah, we're done.
Let's's go give it to me.
Come on, okay.
Oh, reading glasses, readingglasses.
She's so prepared glasses, sosexy with those glasses I'm so
excited because I remember themget it, grandma, you ready?
Jess (46:17):
yeah, I'm ready I'm so excited about this because we
love history, so much whathistorical event do you wish you
could have witnessed firsthand,and why?
Greg (46:28):
Whoa really Okay.
So two things Okay.
Historical event, such a goodquestion, isn't it?
Jess (46:37):
Okay so?
Greg (46:38):
historical being like documented historically it is
not specific.
Jess (46:44):
What historical event do you wish you could have been
witness to firsthand?
Why?
Greg (46:51):
I have two.
Jess (46:53):
I'm so excited I've had this page like literally folded
in half for like weeks.
Greg (47:00):
These are the first two that popped in my mind and I'm
going to pick.
As I share these two, I'm goingto pick two, Okay.
Jess (47:07):
I feel like I know what one of them.
Greg (47:09):
One of them is the parting of the Red Sea.
Oh, from the story where Mosesparted the Red Sea.
When I've seen historical it'sjust phenomenal and I don't know
why my mind went straight tothe Bible.
Part of history, because welove history.
Jess (47:28):
Because you're a Christian first of all, and we love
history.
Greg (47:31):
I do, I do, I would love to be just to see that.
That's interesting, becausethere's so many histories about
seeing wagon wheels and thedocuments of stuff.
That's actually where thathappened at, and just to be able
to see that in person would bephenomenal.
And another one, it's anotherBible story the feeding of the
(47:52):
5,000.
Ooh, that's a good one thefishes and loaves, and they fed
5,000 people.
Here's the thing I think Ididn't grow up in church.
I think I didn't grow up inchurch.
And so when I see God do thesereally cool, crazy things and
show out and just reminds uswhere we are in all of this huge
(48:17):
story and this journey, it justdude.
It gets me emotional and itgets me.
I get fired up about it, like Ihave some stories where I've
seen God just show up.
Jess (48:26):
You do you have your fishes and loaves story I did.
Greg (48:33):
It was feeding some guys, feeding a bunch of the guys in
Atlanta for Thanksgiving.
Jess (48:41):
Production team.
Will you write that down?
Greg's fishes and loaves story.
Greg (48:45):
I'll share that sometime, but it was.
It was Atlanta story, Don't?
Okay, I just so those are mytwo, that just kind of pop in my
head that I would love to.
Just I don't know.
Jess (48:57):
I love it when God shows up.
Greg (48:58):
Yes, absolutely.
Jess (48:59):
I didn't know we were in two.
I'm going to share two.
Greg (49:01):
You don't have to share one.
I I'm going to share two.
Jess (49:03):
You don't have to you can share one, I have two, okay Okay
.
First is Jesus' crucifixion.
Greg (49:09):
You want to witness that.
Jess (49:11):
Just because like heaven came down and it was a whole
like the earth.
Greg (49:19):
It seems scary to me.
Jess (49:20):
honestly, it would be terrifying, and I don't like
scary things.
Greg (49:23):
Yeah.
But it's like that moment I do,but that scares me.
Jess (49:26):
Yeah, but it was that moment when it, like literally
became reality.
It's interesting because Ichose that and I'm thinking
about this in my own mind ratherthan his resurrection, because
there's only a select few peoplethat got to witness that.
Greg (49:45):
Actually it's documented that several hundred people.
Yeah, it really depends onComparatively speaking.
Yes, I mean, yeah, not a lot ofpeople, but there were hundreds
of people.
Jess (49:58):
Then okay, then a literally historical fact is not
biblical at all.
Greg (50:03):
Yeah, wait.
Jess (50:04):
Okay, sorry, you got to talk again.
Greg (50:05):
Wow, yeah, I yeah, Wait, okay sorry.
Jess (50:06):
You're about to talk again .
Wow, yeah, I was.
Wait, you scared me.
Go ahead To see.
I don't know why this is sofascinating in my mind, but it
is when Abraham Lincolndelivered the Emancipation
Proclamation.
Can you imagine?
Greg (50:26):
Yeah, he was a stud.
He was yeah, that was yeah.
Yeah, I was about to go likeyeah, I literally went like
quote unquote historical, butthat's always been fascinating
to me.
Jess (50:40):
Like did he know?
Greg (50:42):
No, there's no way, did he ?
Jess (50:43):
know, I don't know.
I imagine he hoped, but whoknew?
Greg (50:46):
No, there's no way.
Did he know?
I don't know.
I imagine he hoped.
But who knew?
Jess (50:49):
Hoped yeah.
Greg (50:50):
Anyway.
Jess (50:51):
Our hope is.
Greg (50:55):
Did you take some of this stuff and apply it?
Jess (50:58):
Not the last part, but that it makes any sense at all.
Yes, at all, and that my hopeis, honestly, that you remember
to date each other, becausedating each other is the whole
reason why you're a family inthe first place, and after you
raise these people that are thechildren of your family, whether
(51:20):
you had them together or youblended them together them
together or you blended themtogether they are going to leave
and it's still going to be youtwo.
Greg (51:28):
My walk away, unpacking everything being done.
Jess (51:31):
What did you unpack, Greg?
Greg (51:38):
Fight for that woman, fight for your relationship.
Everything has a shelf life,and so you get to determine in
your marriage what that shelflife looks like.
You can renew it, you can pourinto it, you can do everything
and focus on it.
(51:58):
No matter if it's your firstmarriage or third marriage, I
don't care what marriage you'reon.
If you choose to fight for itand focus for it, it will win
and fight and fight to win.
Jess (52:09):
So, all that being, said, dating helps that the word is
choice, yeah dating helps makethat more fun.
It.
Does you choose to date eachother?
Greg (52:16):
Yeah.
And so we say all that to sayJess and I are completely
different people.
We think different, we actdifferent, we see life
differently, but we've chosen tosay we love each other and
we're going to fight for eachother and we're going to
continue to pour out our livesfor you guys through baggage
claim, just hoping that you grabone nugget, whether in your car
(52:41):
, whether at your table, whetheryou're drinking your coffee,
and say my marriage is worthfighting for and I'm going to
keep fighting and I'm going tokeep going and I'm going to make
it work.
So that's kind of where we'reat tonight, and so thank you for
joining us.
I know tonight was a littlelonger than normal.
Jess (52:57):
Yeah, thank you so much.
Greg (52:59):
So you guys.
Jess (53:00):
It's longer than normal, but it's worth it, yeah.
Greg (53:10):
And it the normal, but it's worth it.
Yeah, and it's important.
Love you guys and thank youguys so much.
I mean it's insane for me thatthere are people all across the
united states listening to us,from oregon to chicago to, I
mean, hawaii yeah, like you, youname it we have really just
simply want to hear what we haveto say, whether it's through a
family member or a friend thathas shared this podcast with you
.
Jess (53:24):
We truly, genuinely, genuinely appreciate it because,
like we said before, we have noidea what we're doing, but I
know in my heart that God hascalled us to this, but we don't
know what to do with it yet.
So thank you for exploring thiswith us.
Greg (53:40):
So if you're real people and you have questions or you
want to just talk to us, reachout to us and we would love to
chat with you, interact with you.
We're just living life andhaving fun, so thank you for
joining us tonight.
Jess (53:52):
Thank you for unpacking your baggage with us.
Greg (53:54):
Yeah, thanks for unpacking .
We'll see you again.
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