October 21, 2025 • 33 mins
What if the date didn’t define the holiday—and the people did? We pull back the curtain on how we plan a joyful season across multiple homes, in‑laws, adult kids, new babies, and work schedules without burning out or blowing up traditions that still matter. From the “when can we decorate?” debate to the reality of Christmas mornings that look different than they used to, we share the mindset shifts and practical tools that keep peace at the center.
You’ll hear how a color‑coded shared calendar became our sanity saver, why negotiating is healthier than demanding, and the mantra that changed everything: experience over exact dates. We talk about blended family dynamics, alternating Christmas Eve and morning, and what to do when someone has to work the holiday. We also get into the heart stuff—grieving the loss of old rituals, embracing new ones (hello, Fiesta Thanksgiving), and choosing one tradition each to protect “reasonably” so the plan serves the people, not the other way around.
Along the way, we offer concrete ideas you can use this week: early planning with all households, clear decline scripts, margin for travel and rest, and small automations that lower friction (smart plugs for lights, anyone?). We revisit simple, meaningful rituals—pajamas and a new game, hot‑chocolate light drives, classic movies—that flex with changing seasons and still deliver connection. If you’re juggling blended family holidays, co‑parenting schedules, or just a crowded calendar, this is your friendly blueprint for a calmer, kinder, more intentional season.
If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who’s planning three Thanksgivings, and leave a review to help more families find practical peace during the holidays. Then tell us: which tradition will you keep—and which will you evolve this year?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm Greg.
I hope you guys are ready tounpack and get into some good
conversations today.
SPEAKER_03 (00:07):
And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast, Baggage
Claim.
Thank you for joining us.
SPEAKER_01 (00:17):
What's up, Baggage Claim?
How are you guys doing today?
Thank you so much for joiningus.
If this is your first time here,thanks for being here.
If you're a regular attender,you know the drill.
Grab your favorite drink, pullup to the table.
If it's in the morning, coffee,it's afternoon, whatever that
favorite drink is, could be, uhcould be a glass of water or it
(00:37):
could be a tea or whatever elseyou need it to be.
But just pull on up to thetable.
Only in the South.
So pull up to the table with usand have some conversations.
Baggage Claim is a place wherewe talk about relationships,
community, and all those funthings in between.
So thanks for joining ustonight.
And we're going to jump intosome of the things that we're
going to do.
SPEAKER_03 (00:57):
Let me go and give a disclaimer.
If I cough, it's it's just gonnahave to be okay.
Because it just is happening.
SPEAKER_01 (01:04):
And it is okay.
SPEAKER_03 (01:05):
It's gonna be okay.
It is okay.
But sometimes a cough is gonnacough.
SPEAKER_01 (01:10):
Yeah, it is.
And so, yeah, I agree.
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (01:13):
So I just want to say I'm sorry ahead of time.
I'm not trying to be easy to be.
SPEAKER_01 (01:16):
You coughed on the last episode, too.
SPEAKER_03 (01:17):
I know.
This cough won't go away.
SPEAKER_01 (01:20):
A couple weeks ago.
So we filmed it.
SPEAKER_03 (01:22):
It's my constant companion.
SPEAKER_01 (01:24):
Yeah.
All right.
There we go.
SPEAKER_03 (01:26):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (01:27):
So uh are we ready for it?
SPEAKER_03 (01:29):
Question.
Okay.
Mine is absolutely absurd.
And I'm I'm gonna laugh thewhole time I try to say it
because I'm already trying tolaugh.
Okay, I saw it on TikTok.
Okay, you're ready.
SPEAKER_01 (01:43):
Oh Lord.
Oh boy.
Let's do it.
SPEAKER_03 (01:45):
Would you rather would you rather replace your
ears with two tiny hands thatclap every time you get excited?
Or have when you sneeze, pretzelrods shoot out of your nose.
unknown (02:02):
Pretzel rods.
SPEAKER_00 (02:03):
Okay, time on.
I got a question about this earthing.
Like, does it mean you can'thear?
SPEAKER_03 (02:06):
No, you can still hear.
There's still ears.
SPEAKER_00 (02:08):
But they're just ears just kind of like cup as
ears.
They clap.
SPEAKER_03 (02:12):
Two little pairs of hands on the side of your head.
SPEAKER_00 (02:14):
When you get excited.
SPEAKER_03 (02:15):
And they're like on both sides.
Or when you sneeze, pretzel rodsfly out.
SPEAKER_01 (02:21):
Ooh, does it hurt when the pretzel?
I'm gonna go with the sneezebecause I don't sneeze that
much, and I think having anotherset of hands on my head would be
weird.
SPEAKER_03 (02:29):
Two sets.
One and one other.
SPEAKER_00 (02:36):
I would go with pretzels unless the pretzel like
hurts.
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (02:39):
I would go with pretzels also because I teach
first grade, so I get excitedabout a lot of stuff all day
long.
SPEAKER_00 (02:45):
That might help be excited though.
SPEAKER_03 (02:47):
That's true.
But that would be a lot oflittle flappy hands all day.
Is that not the most ridiculousquestion ever to be?
SPEAKER_01 (02:54):
That is extremely ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00 (02:56):
All right, so I got a question.
Okay.
Okay.
How early is too early to startdecorating for Christmas?
SPEAKER_03 (03:01):
Oh, we have had that conversation so many times in
our family.
SPEAKER_00 (03:05):
I know.
And is it like is it likeunacceptable or just like not
okay?
SPEAKER_01 (03:12):
There's stuff popping up on my for you page
now for Christmas.
Like, people are putting upChristmas now.
Yeah, people started putting upChristmas shoes.
SPEAKER_03 (03:19):
Like, I had did you see?
It was on probably not, but itwas on my for you page on
TikTok.
Um, Dollar General has a wholeDolly Parton Christmas line that
they're carrying.
SPEAKER_00 (03:30):
I did not see that.
SPEAKER_03 (03:31):
Ooh, I'm excited.
I gotta go to Dollar General.
Dollar General.
SPEAKER_00 (03:36):
People are already selling Christmas stuff though.
SPEAKER_03 (03:38):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (03:39):
Really?
Where?
SPEAKER_03 (03:40):
Everywhere.
Hobby Lobby already hasChristmas.
SPEAKER_00 (03:42):
Hobby Lobby's like decked out.
SPEAKER_01 (03:43):
Yeah.
Yeah, but they could they startlike 50% off Christmas, like
three weeks before Christmas.
SPEAKER_03 (03:49):
That's our favorite time to upgrade some or some of
our stuff.
SPEAKER_01 (03:52):
Getting that wrong.
SPEAKER_02 (03:53):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (03:53):
Okay.
Well, that was actually a debatein our family for a lot of years
because we wanted to decoratefor Christmas the day after
Thanksgiving.
Is where we originally started.
SPEAKER_02 (04:05):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (04:06):
But we would always go out of town on Thanksgiving
with my dad for a few days.
And so that felt like it wasdelaying the Christmas season.
But it also Pop is what theycall my dad.
Pop's trip was a Christmaskickoff.
And so it was like, okay, do wewant to decorate before
Thanksgiving so that when wecome home from the Christmas
(04:27):
kickoff, it'll already beChristmas at our house.
SPEAKER_01 (04:31):
So then it just was like I'm a I'm a after
Thanksgiving.
Have Thanksgiving because Ithink Thanksgiving deserves its
own time.
Yes.
Like don't be stealing from it.
Uh if you just love lights thatmuch, then put some Thanksgiving
lights up.
Get a few minutes.
SPEAKER_03 (04:45):
Don't give me ideas.
Um We're about to have someThanksgiving lights, everybody.
SPEAKER_01 (04:50):
You have a snow tree.
Like when we take down theChristmas trees, you leave these
little white trees on the Iredecorate with silver quote
unquote Christmas trees.
SPEAKER_03 (04:58):
Trees.
They're Christmas trees.
They're silver Christmas trees.
It's winter and snow trees.
SPEAKER_01 (05:04):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (05:05):
So I'm not ready to let go.
SPEAKER_01 (05:07):
But I say after Thanksgiving.
You guys learn to let it go.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (05:11):
That's what Elsa says to be.
SPEAKER_00 (05:13):
I think there was, yeah, there was a lot of life
lesson in that one.
Yeah.
It's about an hour and a halflong.
So how about you?
What are you at?
I'm back and forth.
I'm normally always an afterThanksgiving guy.
Yeah.
But one, I don't celebrateThanksgiving at my house.
It's normally like at mybrother's house or parents'
house.
Right.
(05:33):
But I also, and I do say thisbecause I lead worship, so like
I'm already listening to likeChristmas music prepping and
preparing.
SPEAKER_03 (05:41):
Way ahead of time, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (05:42):
And this it feels weird, but I'm not gonna lie,
this year I kind of gotten in inthe Christmas spirit.
Ooh, so you're going early.
I'm I'm honestly about ready toget a Christmas tree.
I like till you gotta wait untilHalloween.
Last year though, I'm like readyto start decorating stockings
out.
SPEAKER_03 (05:59):
I know, right?
We decorated the week beforeThanksgiving, but we were really
excited about everything lastyear because we our first
grandbaby.
It was her first Christmas, eventhough she was she was just
literally two and a half monthsold.
But we were so excited foreverything.
SPEAKER_01 (06:14):
I like I like having the Christmas slice though
because you turn them on like atnight when you're just watching
TV or chilling.
Or just relaxing.
It's just always nice.
SPEAKER_03 (06:22):
We have a few Christmas trees.
Not we well, the house we livedin before this house, um, I had
eight Christmas trees.
SPEAKER_00 (06:29):
Yeah, like a whole size?
SPEAKER_03 (06:30):
Yeah.
Well, yeah, actually, yeah.
It was a lot over the top.
SPEAKER_01 (06:36):
Yeah.
I mean, when you startunplugging, I mean I've made
with one night, it takesforever.
Forever, like plugging everyhour to process.
SPEAKER_03 (06:44):
I haven't told you yet, but I want to add a
Christmas tree this year.
SPEAKER_00 (06:47):
I'm sure you do.
SPEAKER_03 (06:47):
It's Lulu's tree.
SPEAKER_00 (06:49):
Which you know you can get Wi-Fi enabled power
plugs for like little ornothing, like a pack of two or
three for ten bucks.
Yeah, but the push of a buttonand it turns all the lights off.
Yeah, maybe doing that.
Or set it up on a schedule,that's what I do, so that they
turn on at like 6 a.m.
so that I wake up to Christmaslights.
SPEAKER_01 (07:07):
That's where you get the feels going.
Because I leave my I leave ourChristmas lights on a lot on the
tree.
SPEAKER_03 (07:12):
And we have one in our bedroom you like to leave on
all the time.
And I can't because it's like Ihave a spotlight in my eye
holes.
SPEAKER_01 (07:19):
I can sleep with the Christmas lights on.
So you can turn the lights on,I'll sleep.
No.
SPEAKER_00 (07:24):
Speaking of Christmas and wintry wondery
lands.
Can uh can I just acknowledgethe fact that we get to have the
AC on now?
Yeah.
It's okay.
So we're 30 plus 34.
SPEAKER_03 (07:37):
Today's 34.
SPEAKER_00 (07:38):
I think this one yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (07:40):
I'm point pointing at the number that I wrote.
unknown (07:42):
Good deal.
SPEAKER_01 (07:43):
Thirty-four episodes in, and we just realized we
could leave the air on becausewe have a when you do the
editing, you take out thebackground noise, which is But I
never heard it covered the AC.
SPEAKER_00 (07:57):
And last episode we left it on by accident.
SPEAKER_02 (07:59):
I did.
SPEAKER_00 (08:00):
And then we turned it off because it gets hot in
here.
It gets really hot.
Yeah, we've been sweating it outfor three.
SPEAKER_03 (08:05):
We turned off the ceiling band and we turn off the
air conditioner because we justknew that you guys could hear
it.
Um no.
SPEAKER_00 (08:11):
So now we're gonna record podcasts in comfort.
SPEAKER_03 (08:14):
We're not gonna air conditioner.
SPEAKER_01 (08:17):
Man, if we figure this out in 34, what are we
gonna hit?
When we hit 60, it's gonna beright.
It's gonna be mind-blowing.
SPEAKER_03 (08:23):
Life-changing backup.
SPEAKER_01 (08:25):
Well, that's a great it's it's a great transition
from talking about um holidays.
Holidays and Christmas treesinto what we're talking about.
And because we are right on theedge of the holiday season.
So when this episode comes out,it'll probably be close to right
at uh Halloween or the weekthereof or week at.
(08:48):
So this is crazy time.
If you have kids, if you havelarge families, even if you
don't, even if you're newlymarried or you've been married
for a long time.
SPEAKER_03 (08:59):
And if you're single, but you've got a lot of
siblings who are married andyou're trying to blend in with
all that in your own family,that's a lot.
SPEAKER_01 (09:06):
Yeah.
When you yeah, there's just somuch.
Like and so everybody has theseEverybody has traditions,
everybody has these things theygo through through the holidays,
whether it's Thanksgiving,whether it's Christmas, whatever
those may be.
Everybody has these traditionsand they just sometimes they're
a little overboard with makingsure that you stick with those
(09:28):
traditions.
Um and so we're gonna talk aboutscheduling uh with kids, with uh
the chaos, the craziness.
We we did this through blendedfamily.
Yeah.
Um and then so we'll talk aboutthat aspect, but also too, if
you're just a family and you gotlots of things, there's this is
something that you may findsomething in.
(09:50):
So there's something foreverybody a little bit in this.
So we're talking aboutscheduling and traditions and
the whole idea uh through theholidays.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (09:58):
So one thing I learned right off the bat that I
was not good at, that it's aboutnegotiating.
SPEAKER_02 (10:07):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (10:08):
And that you I had to learn I could not have
everything I wanted.
SPEAKER_01 (10:14):
Yeah.
Well, there's there's one thing.
Um I was talking to a guy onetime about we're talking about
blended family, and he asked me,he goes, if you could give me
one piece of advice on blended,like like leading or being a
part of a blended family, then Iwould say don't be selfish, it's
not about you.
SPEAKER_02 (10:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (10:30):
Like if you can grab that concept of you you're it's
not about you, then you're gonnabe just fine.
But yeah, it is a negotiating.
Because when you start, I mean,every especially if you're new
into it.
If you've been into it for awhile, here's here's the thing.
It doesn't matter if you've beenin like your traditions for 10
years, things change.
(10:51):
Like I'm so sorry.
You have to quit smoking.
SPEAKER_03 (10:55):
Right, Peck.
I don't smoke everybody.
SPEAKER_01 (10:59):
I'm kidding, she doesn't.
But if you've been in thosetraditions, times change, things
change.
Like kids grow up.
Yeah, kids move off to college,they come back from college,
they get married, they havetheir own families.
There's so many.
SPEAKER_03 (11:10):
And when they get married, they have to fit figure
out the other the in-law part.
Like it's just a lot of movingparts, especially as kids get
older.
Yes.
Um but uh our past experiences,like when we put this whole
circus together, um they weren'tall bad and they weren't all
good.
But one thing that was actuallyvery helpful, um, your ex-wife
(11:35):
would do a um, it was like aGoogle calendar.
Yep.
Um it was color-coded um forwhat her family, what they were
doing with her, and then shewould ask us for things that we
were doing, and then it wouldhave their like Callie and
Cody's like technical days ofwhere we were switching, because
we'd have we would have to taketurns with Christmas Eve or
(11:56):
Christmas morning, and it wouldalternate each year.
Um and that negotiating partcame in there.
SPEAKER_01 (12:03):
Well, yeah, because there were certain things we
wanted to try to do.
We were trying to activities wewanted to do with the kids.
And so understanding too,because Thomas, I mean, you're
you're from a a family.
Um TJ's family too.
SPEAKER_03 (12:19):
We still would do stuff with them.
Yes and then Thomas and Aaronwould have plans with his second
marriage.
SPEAKER_01 (12:27):
So your mom wanted to, then your dad and your
stepmom wanted to do something.
SPEAKER_03 (12:32):
Yeah, so just me all by myself, I'm pleasing three
parents, three sets of parents.
TJ's mom, who's still very muchin our life now and was very
much then, my dad andstepmother, and then my mother.
That just me by myself.
Then you add in your family.
SPEAKER_02 (12:48):
Yep.
SPEAKER_03 (12:49):
And then we would have things with your immediate
family, but then we also hadseveral things with your
extended family, too.
That was just a lot of just meand you parts.
And then you add in for Callieand Cody doing all the stuff
with your ex-wife's family.
Like that was just that was alot.
SPEAKER_01 (13:06):
Yeah.
And our kid our kids kind of wewe had the schedule and we would
print that out and put itliterally on everything.
SPEAKER_03 (13:13):
Yeah.
Um, because bless our hearts.
They they didn't know if theywere coming or going, especially
like during the in general, yes.
It was a very predic predictableschedule.
But during the holidays, it justgot wacky.
SPEAKER_01 (13:24):
Yeah.
November and December were justcrazy.
SPEAKER_03 (13:26):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (13:26):
Um they were just always, always all over the
place.
So it's that whole negotiating,knowing like what are what do I
what do we really want?
What are the things we really,really want?
What are the things that we'rekind of willing to give on?
SPEAKER_03 (13:40):
And there were heartaches on a lot of those
occasions, too.
There would be things that wetruly wanted them to be at.
And when the other parent is notalways willing to work around
those things, that that's hardthat hurts.
SPEAKER_01 (13:54):
Yeah, it's hard.
That's a hard it's hard to thinkof swallow.
And because if you're notcareful, you allow that.
You get frustrated, you getupset, and you bring all that
stuff into when you actually dothe activity with them, or if
you get to.
Um it's not the kids' fault.
SPEAKER_03 (14:10):
No.
SPEAKER_01 (14:10):
Um but I'm not saying like I'm sure there were
times where we did things uhthat didn't work out with her
schedule, and she would getfrustrated at us.
So it goes back and forth.
It does.
Uh you it's it's literally anegotiation where you're just
going, um, what do I'm willingto give home?
What do I'm willing to stand on?
Because if you're like, nope,I'm getting everything I want to
(14:30):
do.
SPEAKER_03 (14:31):
It's not gonna work for anybody.
SPEAKER_01 (14:32):
Yeah, it's just no, yeah, it's gonna blow up and
because you have to also tookeep in mind, and we try to, we
try to remind ourselves, keep inmind the kids.
Yes.
Like Callie and Cody, Thomas andAaron do all of this.
Yeah, nobody asked for this.
SPEAKER_03 (14:44):
Right.
None of the children and I meanyou and I, none none of us asked
for this.
Right.
So one thing we learned prettyearly on, I wouldn't say that we
learned it right away, but um,we learned that whatever the
holiday is, it's as special asyou make it.
SPEAKER_02 (15:00):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (15:00):
Even if it's not on that specific day that you I
have to have the kids that day.
Okay, well, you you may not getto have them on Christmas Eve at
three o'clock when you wantthem.
SPEAKER_02 (15:10):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (15:10):
So if you get them on December 22nd and you have
them the whole day, well, thatvery well might be your
Christmas.
SPEAKER_01 (15:16):
Yeah.
And December 22nd's on Christmasthis time.
SPEAKER_03 (15:19):
So hypothetically speaking.
SPEAKER_01 (15:21):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (15:22):
It's it's as special as you make it.
The experience is the importantpart, not what day of the
calendar it's on.
SPEAKER_01 (15:28):
Yeah, that's that's huge to keep in mind.
That's a good mantra for you asa parent to constantly tell
yourself through the holiday uhthis is about the experience.
It's not about the day of theday when we're doing it.
Like it's okay to, hey, theseare the the the way things work,
and you may have to change thosearound and figure out different
(15:50):
times to have different things.
SPEAKER_03 (15:51):
I remember a few years ago, um, it was Christmas
Eve, and our older two weremarried and with in-laws that on
Christmas Eve.
Um, Cody was with his mom, andAaron Grace was with a boyfriend
doing something for ChristmasEve, and it was you and I.
We were like, hold on a minute.
(16:11):
Wait.
SPEAKER_02 (16:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (16:13):
How how did this happen?
Yeah.
Why are we alone and we've gotfour kids and not a single one
of them is here.
It was weird.
SPEAKER_01 (16:22):
It was weird.
SPEAKER_03 (16:23):
It was emotional.
We both cried, I'm pretty sure.
SPEAKER_01 (16:25):
Then we we broke up, we broke open a bottle of wine
and watched old Christmasmovies.
SPEAKER_03 (16:29):
Our black and white movies that we save some special
days.
We stay up way too late watchingIt's a Wonderful Life and
Miracle on 34th Street.
SPEAKER_01 (16:40):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (16:41):
And sometimes if you give in, we watch White
Christmas.
SPEAKER_01 (16:44):
I like brands.
I like the newer miracle on 34thStreet.
I don't like the old one.
SPEAKER_03 (16:48):
Yeah, you don't like the old one.
SPEAKER_01 (16:49):
I like the newer one.
SPEAKER_03 (16:50):
But we watch a wonderful life.
That's a non-negotiable onChristmas Eve, and we both cry
every time.
SPEAKER_01 (16:56):
And we always watch our our traditions for that is
we watch Chevy Chase ChristmasVacation.
That's the first one.
That's the very first thing.
It's the first one every year.
Yeah, we watch it afterThanksgiving.
Yes.
We watch that and then it kicksoff.
SPEAKER_03 (17:09):
You remember that year when your sister hosted
Thanksgiving and we watched itafter Thanksgiving dinner and
they projected it on the side ofthe house and we all watched it
outside.
It was out there.
SPEAKER_01 (17:19):
That was fun.
That was really cool.
SPEAKER_03 (17:20):
Yeah.
But anyway, it's about theexperience, not what day it is.
SPEAKER_01 (17:24):
Right.
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (17:26):
That's a hard pill to swallow.
SPEAKER_01 (17:27):
It really is.
It seems really when you say ithere sitting in this room.
SPEAKER_03 (17:30):
It's like, yeah, of course.
SPEAKER_01 (17:32):
It's like, oh, why would you not?
Like, that's so dumb.
But dude, when you get in thelike that that Christmas.
Remember the Christmas morningwe woke up and everybody was
gone?
Like, I think Aaron was working,Thomas was already married.
Cody was off school.
Callie was married.
SPEAKER_03 (17:46):
Aaron did have to work one Christmas morning, yes,
at the dog place.
SPEAKER_01 (17:50):
We were there and we're just like, What do we do?
I was like, do you many cookiebreakfast?
It was really, I was like, okay,we can't do it.
Because when they were little, Iwas like, I don't know what to
do.
I think it's the first time weever watched a Christmas parade.
SPEAKER_03 (18:02):
Yeah.
Well, when they were little.
When they were little bitty andgrowing up.
You know, our family, we docinnamon rolls.
Used to, my dad and stepmomwould bring cinnamon rolls to
our house because they wanted tosee Santa with our kids.
I'm gonna cry talking aboutthese sweet traditions.
And so when the kids got alittle bit bigger, and my
brother had kids way after wehad kids.
SPEAKER_02 (18:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (18:25):
And so that, you know, obviously the focus
shifted to Santa time with Emoryand Easton.
Um, but it was like cinnamonrolls is still our thing.
That's what we do on Christmasmorning, and nobody was there to
have them.
SPEAKER_01 (18:39):
So we ate a whole bunch of cinnamon rolls.
I mean, the kids showed up.
SPEAKER_03 (18:43):
It was more like brunch with the kids by the time
Callie and Cody, like all thethings.
There's just so many movingparts.
SPEAKER_01 (18:49):
And the the crazy thing is though, like you have
to keep in mind, like, when wetalk about negotiating events,
like it was it two, three yearsago, it may have been three
years ago.
All our kids were grown.
Like they are, I mean, it'sprobably two.
I think Thomas and Miranda weredating or about to get married.
Or I can't remember.
But they wanted to have, they'relike, let's not do a traditional
(19:11):
Thanksgiving.
Let's do a fiesta Thanksgiving.
And I was like, what do you meanby that?
SPEAKER_03 (19:17):
It was three years ago, it was right before they
got married.
SPEAKER_01 (19:19):
Yeah, they're like, let's have tacos and nachos and
taco bars and all kinds of, andwe'll have margaritas or
whatever, and we'll just haveit.
And I was like, okay, I guessit's our Thanksgiving.
SPEAKER_03 (19:31):
Yeah, it's kind of like the kids banded together
before Yeah, they they came witha plan.
They did, all of them.
Yes.
And we were like, okay, so we'regonna have a Thanksgiving
fiesta, and it was a blast.
SPEAKER_01 (19:43):
We had so much fun.
SPEAKER_03 (19:44):
And so then it's kind of been like if we get to
have our Thanksgiving here atour home, um, which we are this
year, woo! Um, because Callieand Charles are coming up from
Florida.
SPEAKER_02 (19:54):
That's right.
SPEAKER_03 (19:55):
But it's kind of like we intentionally don't do
Thanksgiving food becausethey're gonna get their fill of
it literally everywhere else.
SPEAKER_01 (20:03):
Yeah, they eat Thanksgiving food.
Like we figured it out.
I think we ate like four or fiveThanksgiving meals one time.
SPEAKER_03 (20:09):
It was a lot.
SPEAKER_01 (20:10):
I love dressing, but bruh.
I'm done.
I can't eat any more dressing.
SPEAKER_03 (20:15):
So one thing that is hard to keep in mind, and it's
easy to say it looking back, butyou have to keep in mind that
things are gonna change even ifyou don't want them to.
SPEAKER_01 (20:24):
Oh, they will, yes.
SPEAKER_03 (20:25):
Because everything has a season.
I mean, at one point we had aseason where we had four little
kids and going 5,000 places andit was busy, and Callie and Cody
had to go twice as many places,and we were trying to keep up
and go and do and drop off andpick up and at the same time
trying to teach them to enjoythe season and you know, all the
(20:47):
things.
Um but that childhood's portion,there's a shelf life because it
will end.
SPEAKER_02 (20:54):
Yep.
SPEAKER_03 (20:54):
And then you're gonna transition to another
portion of life, whether it'slike they move on to you know,
getting married or college orwhatever, everything is going to
change.
SPEAKER_01 (21:04):
Yeah.
Um schedules change, timeschange.
SPEAKER_03 (21:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (21:07):
Um kids start getting jobs where I mean, where
they have to work on holidays.
So you're trying to figure outthe thing.
SPEAKER_03 (21:14):
And now Thomas is a firefighter.
Like, you know, thankfully hewas home for Lucy's first
Christmas last year, but thisyear he works on Christmas Day.
SPEAKER_02 (21:22):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (21:22):
So they're gonna have to write a letter to Santa
for Santa to come a day earlyjust for Lucy.
SPEAKER_02 (21:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (21:31):
And so also so that means that we are going to have
Christmas morning a day early.
So it's like you got you gottago with the flow.
SPEAKER_01 (21:39):
Yeah, you just I think that's the thing, though.
Like you sometimes you get sostuck in these traditions that
you you love the tradition morethan you love the experience
with the people.
SPEAKER_03 (21:50):
Oh, that's a good one.
Say that again.
I you forgot what you saidalready.
SPEAKER_01 (21:54):
Yeah, I didn't forgot it.
SPEAKER_03 (21:55):
That sometimes you love the tradition more than you
love the people that you'redoing it with.
SPEAKER_01 (21:59):
Right.
I mean, that was the wholereason you start the tradition,
to make people come together fora certain reason to celebrate
and have fun.
And then we get so stuck that ifeverything is not perfect the
way that tradition should go, weget torqued up when it's like,
no, no, no, the look who you'rewith.
Like that's the important partof it, I think, to keep in mind.
SPEAKER_00 (22:18):
Well, and one thing, and when we talk about this all
the time when we're talkingabout leading teams, is we we
see a great experience thatwe've had in the past, and we
think that the recipe to getthat back is to do the exact
same things over and over again.
So if it's well, if we didn'tall meet at Granny's house, or
if this group of cousins didn'tcome, or if this it's not gonna
(22:39):
work out because it's not wedidn't have the same recipe,
quote unquote, to get thatresult.
And it goes back to what y'allsaid earlier, it is what you
make it.
SPEAKER_02 (22:48):
Uh-huh.
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (22:49):
It's what you make it.
So realize that what got you tothat point before may not be the
exact same thing that gets youto that point again.
Yeah.
It may be something entirelydifferent.
But again, don't let thetraditions outweigh the people
that you're experiencing.
SPEAKER_01 (23:02):
I mean, it's the same truth for marriage.
Like when you're if you've beenmarried longer than seven years,
you've probably changed.
You're you're probably not thesame person you that you like.
SPEAKER_03 (23:11):
Your wife and realize you've been married long
for one year.
I mean, people change.
SPEAKER_01 (23:15):
Yeah, it's like you change, you go through seasons,
you learn to love each otherthrough a different place at a
different time.
Like it it looks different.
The same is true with any ofthis.
Um so it's good to keep thosethings in mind.
But also, too, like come up withsome new traditions.
Like something that kind ofworks.
SPEAKER_03 (23:34):
One way that we did that with developing a new
tradition in our family was whenthe kids were little, we would
Sorry, excuse me.
Um we started doing a a StoneMountain tradition when they
were young.
Um we would try to go early inDecember because we knew it was
about to get crazy.
And so we would choose a a day,and sometimes it was actually
(23:56):
during their school break, andwe would go spend the day at
Stone Mountain, do all theChristmas stuff and the train
ride and they started becauseour kids loved Christmas lights.
SPEAKER_01 (24:05):
So there were times where we would um there were
nights where we would have thekids, all for the kids.
We would load them in the car.
SPEAKER_03 (24:11):
After dinner, they would go get their showers, put
their pajamas on.
SPEAKER_01 (24:14):
And we would go ride, look at Christmas lights.
SPEAKER_03 (24:16):
With hot chocolate.
SPEAKER_01 (24:17):
They needed hot chocolate.
And so we would just ridearound.
There were lots of places thatjust had Christmas lights, and
we would get teary out.
We would just go do those thingsfor for fun.
And we did that like a couple oftimes because it's easy.
You just ride around the car.
Yeah.
Um, looking at Christmas lights.
And you know, certainsubdivisions have lots of
Christmas lights.
Yeah, so you decided you just gocheck them out.
SPEAKER_03 (24:37):
Yeah, then that's what led us to Stone Mountain.
And then as they got bigger, andwe had to wait a little bit
because our youngest Aaron Gracehas always been really small.
And so we had to wait till shegot big enough to ride rides,
and we'd go to an amusementpark, six flags that's near us,
and they would always gooverboard.
SPEAKER_01 (24:53):
The lights or Christmas were insane.
SPEAKER_03 (24:56):
Amazing.
SPEAKER_01 (24:56):
Yeah, it's really, really good.
SPEAKER_03 (24:58):
So that was something that we did.
SPEAKER_01 (24:59):
We did ride roller coasters and till you got sick.
Yeah, I would usually get sickabout the fourth or fifth
upside-down roller coaster.
SPEAKER_03 (25:07):
Yeah, in a row.
Yeah.
So that was one thing that wedid, keeping in mind or trying
to help ourselves keep in mindthat things change, seasons
change.
Um, and like my dad, wementioned my dad earlier.
Um, the TJ passed away inSeptember of 2010.
And so that neck that followingThanksgiving right right away,
(25:29):
my dad was like, let's start anew tradition.
Let's I'm gonna me and uh mystepmom, uh, we're gonna take
you and the kids to Cherokee,North Carolina.
And we're just gonna have a fewdays after Thanksgiving to just
relax.
We would go to Santa Land littlepitiful amusement park that's so
cute.
And so that was our traditionthat we did two or three times,
(25:52):
and then when it was just me,and then when you and I got
married, y'all started coming,of course, obviously.
And so then Callie and Cody fellin love with that trip, and so
we did it a few years in a row.
Um, and then I don't know why wejust quit doing it, but then
last year you and I were like,you know what?
We're gonna pick up Pop'sChristmas kickoff and we're
(26:14):
gonna do that with our family.
SPEAKER_02 (26:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (26:16):
Um, because it was such an intentional time that we
could it wasn't on the holidayof Thanksgiving, it wasn't on
Christmas, but it was such agood time to just spend those
few days, and it was only two orthree days.
Yeah.
That was just because it'sfamily.
SPEAKER_01 (26:32):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (26:32):
And that was something that we became
intentional about too.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (26:36):
And so it's always being mindful of I mean, for me,
I'm a Thanksgiving guy becausethere's no presents, there's no
gift exchange, you don't youjust There's no expectations.
SPEAKER_03 (26:46):
Right.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (26:46):
You just cook food and hang out.
SPEAKER_03 (26:48):
Other than good food.
SPEAKER_01 (26:48):
Yeah, you you eat good food, you hang out
together, you watch somefootball, you play in the yard.
SPEAKER_03 (26:53):
Uh it's just Callie broke my finger one year we were
playing football.
SPEAKER_01 (26:57):
Yeah, you hadn't let go of that, actually.
SPEAKER_03 (26:58):
I can't.
SPEAKER_01 (26:59):
Yeah.
And so she really did.
SPEAKER_03 (27:01):
Yeah.
She threw the football at me.
I wasn't ready.
SPEAKER_01 (27:05):
It was it's just it's just fun for me.
But like even around you cancome up with traditions around
Thanksgiving, come up withtraditions around uh Christmas,
come up with traditions aroundthe new year.
Do something fun for the newyear.
SPEAKER_03 (27:16):
Keep in mind it does not have to be that day.
SPEAKER_01 (27:18):
No, like any time you pick the day, and again,
remember that who you're doingit with is what the important
part is.
Yes.
Like we had a tradition wherethe kids would always get um
pajamas and then we would get anew game.
And so on Christmas Eve, wewould always play this new
family game and we would havepajamas.
Well, the kids always knew theywere getting pajamas on
Christmas Eve.
And they did.
SPEAKER_03 (27:38):
And then the times where we didn't have Callie and
Cody, um, Thomas and Aaron Gracewanted to wait till Christmas
morning when they would comehome.
They would all open their gifts,they would all put on their new
pajamas on Christmas morning,and we would play the game on
Christmas morning.
Yeah.
So it wasn't about what day itwas, it was just that, oh, we're
all together, let's do it.
SPEAKER_01 (27:57):
And so now it's just as our kids are getting older
and their lives are developingand it's just harder and harder
to get everybody in the sameplace.
SPEAKER_03 (28:04):
But I'll tell you the truth though, before we
unpack.
Um I th was it last year or theyear before, um, I still wanted
to buy a family game becausethat was part of their tradition
when they were little andgrowing up.
And then they all were it waskind of overlapping time where
they all were here and it didnot add up to enough time to do
all the things I wanted to do.
(28:25):
And I had to let go of that,which was really, really hard
and my heart hurt.
SPEAKER_02 (28:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (28:30):
But I'm like, okay, well, that's over.
Like, we can't do that anymore.
And so I'm like, now saying itsounds like, well, yeah, there
two of them are married andhomeowners and like one's out of
state.
It was like, of course it'sdifferent.
But I had to let go of thatfinally.
SPEAKER_01 (28:48):
Well, it's again, we go back to remember who you're
with.
SPEAKER_03 (28:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (28:51):
Remember why you've you started those to have fun
together.
SPEAKER_02 (28:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (28:54):
And fun may be different.
Now it looks different, it isdifferent.
And so it's some things to keepin mind.
This is a I mean, just remember,make a calendar.
That's very, very important.
Like, make a calendar, put allof it on there, all the things
that you gotta do, you need todo.
Sometimes that can beoverwhelming.
SPEAKER_03 (29:11):
It can be.
SPEAKER_01 (29:12):
But that's probably a good indication of maybe we
need to like But I'm stilllearning though.
SPEAKER_03 (29:17):
I'm not say I and I promise you, I'm not saying this
stuff as if, oh, I'm the expertand this is how you do it.
I'm like, we're still learning,we're still walking through it.
And thank God, our preciousdaughter-in-law, she gets it.
So she has already, like twoweeks ago, started planning
Thanksgiving because we she withCallie.
Yeah, she was talking to Callie,her sister-in-law, our oldest,
(29:40):
and Callie was like, We'recoming up for Thanksgiving this
year.
We haven't even told anybodyyet.
So then Miranda, our daughter inlaw, started immediately texting
everybody like, these are thedays, this is what we're doing,
this is the day that we're doingit with them.
Everybody be there.
And I'm like, she gets it.
Thank goodness.
SPEAKER_01 (29:57):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (29:57):
Anyway, so how do we unpack this, babe?
SPEAKER_01 (30:01):
Who uh before we unpack.
So we talked about have the havethe schedule.
The other thing is is to to havehave have reasonable
expectations.
SPEAKER_03 (30:16):
That's so hard when you want to be selfish.
SPEAKER_01 (30:18):
I know.
But this especially as thebigger your family gets, as your
family grows, this just getsharder.
So take some time, map it out.
Uh I think unpack.
I I have one thing.
Yeah.
Um I would say.
Um at least you or your wifepick one tradition you would
(30:40):
like to keep, one thing youwould like to hold on to.
Maybe during Thanksgiving, maybeduring Christmas time, maybe New
Year's, whatever that is, onething you want to hold on to.
And then she picks one thingthat you want to do.
And they may be new ones.
It could be, I don't know, itcould be an old one.
Um, but have that and try toreasonably reasonably work those
(31:01):
into your schedule.
SPEAKER_03 (31:02):
That's the key.
SPEAKER_01 (31:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (31:03):
Reasonably.
You only have uh so much time,you only have so many days that
everybody can do together.
SPEAKER_01 (31:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (31:12):
But the reasonable part is where I have stumbled of
not getting my feelings hurtwhen it doesn't work out.
I have to be reasonable with myexpectations.
Yeah.
I'm still learning that.
SPEAKER_01 (31:23):
Yeah, it's okay.
SPEAKER_03 (31:24):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (31:24):
So that's mine.
Do we have anything else forunpack?
That's it.
SPEAKER_03 (31:28):
No, that's it.
So think about big one, though.
Yeah, we've got to be a littlebit more than that.
At one, that's hard.
SPEAKER_01 (31:31):
Yeah.
And so spend some time.
Talk about it.
Uh, talk about your calendar,talk about new traditions, old
traditions, things you lovedabout them, things that you
could change, how could youadapt?
And remember, above anythingelse, man, you're you're about
to jump into a really busy time.
But as you get so busy, justremember to tap the brakes and
(31:52):
remember what all this is for,anyway.
You're celebrating each other,you're celebrating family,
you're celebrating so manydifferent things.
Keep that in mind.
Take a deep breath and justrelax and enjoy.
Um, because there'll come a timejust like us.
We're sitting there on ChristmasEve, and it's you and I, and
we're like, uh where's everybodyat?
SPEAKER_03 (32:13):
Why do we not have toys flying everywhere and you
know, nerf guns or you're notputting anything together.
SPEAKER_01 (32:19):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (32:20):
There's not crayons and markers everywhere.
It's it's it's it's bittersweet.
It's what life is supposed todo.
SPEAKER_01 (32:27):
Yep.
SPEAKER_03 (32:28):
And you gotta go with it.
SPEAKER_01 (32:30):
Yeah, exactly.
So anything to add to that,producer Michael?
All right.
Well, well, thank you guys forjoining us uh today as we talked
about the crazy holiday seasonthat's coming up.
I hope you enjoy it.
I hope you have some time.
If there's something you wouldlike for us to talk about,
discuss, uh, unpack together, uhfeel free to shoot us a DM.
SPEAKER_03 (32:53):
I was literally just about to say, yeah, I was just
about to say, if when you havethis discussion with your
spouse, partner, boyfriend,girlfriend, whatever the case
may be, if it's difficult andyou can't see eye to eye and
you'd like for us to help youwalk through that, send us a
message.
Like we can FaceTime each other,we can help you walk through it.
SPEAKER_01 (33:14):
We'll jump on the phone with you.
SPEAKER_03 (33:14):
Yeah, we'd love to have a conversation.
SPEAKER_01 (33:16):
So, yeah, I mean, we're that that ultimately that
would make us extremely excitedto do that.
We would so um that that's whatwe want to do is is help you
unpack and work through thesethings.
So and the topics that you'restruggling with or dealing with,
so yep, uh let us know.
Um keep liking, keep sharing.
Um and we keep growing and we'llkeep doing these.
SPEAKER_03 (33:36):
So yeah, we love you and appreciate you.
SPEAKER_01 (33:38):
Yeah, thank you guys.
Have a good night.
SPEAKER_03 (33:40):
See you next time.
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm Greg.
I hope you guys are ready tounpack and get into some good
conversations today.
SPEAKER_03 (00:07):
And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast, Baggage
Claim.
Thank you for joining us.
SPEAKER_01 (00:17):
What's up, Baggage Claim?
How are you guys doing today?
Thank you so much for joiningus.
If this is your first time here,thanks for being here.
If you're a regular attender,you know the drill.
Grab your favorite drink, pullup to the table.
If it's in the morning, coffee,it's afternoon, whatever that
favorite drink is, could be, uhcould be a glass of water or it
(00:37):
could be a tea or whatever elseyou need it to be.
But just pull on up to thetable.
Only in the South.
So pull up to the table with usand have some conversations.
Baggage Claim is a place wherewe talk about relationships,
community, and all those funthings in between.
So thanks for joining ustonight.
And we're going to jump intosome of the things that we're
going to do.
SPEAKER_03 (00:57):
Let me go and give a disclaimer.
If I cough, it's it's just gonnahave to be okay.
Because it just is happening.
SPEAKER_01 (01:04):
And it is okay.
SPEAKER_03 (01:05):
It's gonna be okay.
It is okay.
But sometimes a cough is gonnacough.
SPEAKER_01 (01:10):
Yeah, it is.
And so, yeah, I agree.
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (01:13):
So I just want to say I'm sorry ahead of time.
I'm not trying to be easy to be.
SPEAKER_01 (01:16):
You coughed on the last episode, too.
SPEAKER_03 (01:17):
I know.
This cough won't go away.
SPEAKER_01 (01:20):
A couple weeks ago.
So we filmed it.
SPEAKER_03 (01:22):
It's my constant companion.
SPEAKER_01 (01:24):
Yeah.
All right.
There we go.
SPEAKER_03 (01:26):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (01:27):
So uh are we ready for it?
SPEAKER_03 (01:29):
Question.
Okay.
Mine is absolutely absurd.
And I'm I'm gonna laugh thewhole time I try to say it
because I'm already trying tolaugh.
Okay, I saw it on TikTok.
Okay, you're ready.
SPEAKER_01 (01:43):
Oh Lord.
Oh boy.
Let's do it.
SPEAKER_03 (01:45):
Would you rather would you rather replace your
ears with two tiny hands thatclap every time you get excited?
Or have when you sneeze, pretzelrods shoot out of your nose.
unknown (02:02):
Pretzel rods.
SPEAKER_00 (02:03):
Okay, time on.
I got a question about this earthing.
Like, does it mean you can'thear?
SPEAKER_03 (02:06):
No, you can still hear.
There's still ears.
SPEAKER_00 (02:08):
But they're just ears just kind of like cup as
ears.
They clap.
SPEAKER_03 (02:12):
Two little pairs of hands on the side of your head.
SPEAKER_00 (02:14):
When you get excited.
SPEAKER_03 (02:15):
And they're like on both sides.
Or when you sneeze, pretzel rodsfly out.
SPEAKER_01 (02:21):
Ooh, does it hurt when the pretzel?
I'm gonna go with the sneezebecause I don't sneeze that
much, and I think having anotherset of hands on my head would be
weird.
SPEAKER_03 (02:29):
Two sets.
One and one other.
SPEAKER_00 (02:36):
I would go with pretzels unless the pretzel like
hurts.
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (02:39):
I would go with pretzels also because I teach
first grade, so I get excitedabout a lot of stuff all day
long.
SPEAKER_00 (02:45):
That might help be excited though.
SPEAKER_03 (02:47):
That's true.
But that would be a lot oflittle flappy hands all day.
Is that not the most ridiculousquestion ever to be?
SPEAKER_01 (02:54):
That is extremely ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00 (02:56):
All right, so I got a question.
Okay.
Okay.
How early is too early to startdecorating for Christmas?
SPEAKER_03 (03:01):
Oh, we have had that conversation so many times in
our family.
SPEAKER_00 (03:05):
I know.
And is it like is it likeunacceptable or just like not
okay?
SPEAKER_01 (03:12):
There's stuff popping up on my for you page
now for Christmas.
Like, people are putting upChristmas now.
Yeah, people started putting upChristmas shoes.
SPEAKER_03 (03:19):
Like, I had did you see?
It was on probably not, but itwas on my for you page on
TikTok.
Um, Dollar General has a wholeDolly Parton Christmas line that
they're carrying.
SPEAKER_00 (03:30):
I did not see that.
SPEAKER_03 (03:31):
Ooh, I'm excited.
I gotta go to Dollar General.
Dollar General.
SPEAKER_00 (03:36):
People are already selling Christmas stuff though.
SPEAKER_03 (03:38):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (03:39):
Really?
Where?
SPEAKER_03 (03:40):
Everywhere.
Hobby Lobby already hasChristmas.
SPEAKER_00 (03:42):
Hobby Lobby's like decked out.
SPEAKER_01 (03:43):
Yeah.
Yeah, but they could they startlike 50% off Christmas, like
three weeks before Christmas.
SPEAKER_03 (03:49):
That's our favorite time to upgrade some or some of
our stuff.
SPEAKER_01 (03:52):
Getting that wrong.
SPEAKER_02 (03:53):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (03:53):
Okay.
Well, that was actually a debatein our family for a lot of years
because we wanted to decoratefor Christmas the day after
Thanksgiving.
Is where we originally started.
SPEAKER_02 (04:05):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (04:06):
But we would always go out of town on Thanksgiving
with my dad for a few days.
And so that felt like it wasdelaying the Christmas season.
But it also Pop is what theycall my dad.
Pop's trip was a Christmaskickoff.
And so it was like, okay, do wewant to decorate before
Thanksgiving so that when wecome home from the Christmas
(04:27):
kickoff, it'll already beChristmas at our house.
SPEAKER_01 (04:31):
So then it just was like I'm a I'm a after
Thanksgiving.
Have Thanksgiving because Ithink Thanksgiving deserves its
own time.
Yes.
Like don't be stealing from it.
Uh if you just love lights thatmuch, then put some Thanksgiving
lights up.
Get a few minutes.
SPEAKER_03 (04:45):
Don't give me ideas.
Um We're about to have someThanksgiving lights, everybody.
SPEAKER_01 (04:50):
You have a snow tree.
Like when we take down theChristmas trees, you leave these
little white trees on the Iredecorate with silver quote
unquote Christmas trees.
SPEAKER_03 (04:58):
Trees.
They're Christmas trees.
They're silver Christmas trees.
It's winter and snow trees.
SPEAKER_01 (05:04):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (05:05):
So I'm not ready to let go.
SPEAKER_01 (05:07):
But I say after Thanksgiving.
You guys learn to let it go.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (05:11):
That's what Elsa says to be.
SPEAKER_00 (05:13):
I think there was, yeah, there was a lot of life
lesson in that one.
Yeah.
It's about an hour and a halflong.
So how about you?
What are you at?
I'm back and forth.
I'm normally always an afterThanksgiving guy.
Yeah.
But one, I don't celebrateThanksgiving at my house.
It's normally like at mybrother's house or parents'
house.
Right.
(05:33):
But I also, and I do say thisbecause I lead worship, so like
I'm already listening to likeChristmas music prepping and
preparing.
SPEAKER_03 (05:41):
Way ahead of time, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (05:42):
And this it feels weird, but I'm not gonna lie,
this year I kind of gotten in inthe Christmas spirit.
Ooh, so you're going early.
I'm I'm honestly about ready toget a Christmas tree.
I like till you gotta wait untilHalloween.
Last year though, I'm like readyto start decorating stockings
out.
SPEAKER_03 (05:59):
I know, right?
We decorated the week beforeThanksgiving, but we were really
excited about everything lastyear because we our first
grandbaby.
It was her first Christmas, eventhough she was she was just
literally two and a half monthsold.
But we were so excited foreverything.
SPEAKER_01 (06:14):
I like I like having the Christmas slice though
because you turn them on like atnight when you're just watching
TV or chilling.
Or just relaxing.
It's just always nice.
SPEAKER_03 (06:22):
We have a few Christmas trees.
Not we well, the house we livedin before this house, um, I had
eight Christmas trees.
SPEAKER_00 (06:29):
Yeah, like a whole size?
SPEAKER_03 (06:30):
Yeah.
Well, yeah, actually, yeah.
It was a lot over the top.
SPEAKER_01 (06:36):
Yeah.
I mean, when you startunplugging, I mean I've made
with one night, it takesforever.
Forever, like plugging everyhour to process.
SPEAKER_03 (06:44):
I haven't told you yet, but I want to add a
Christmas tree this year.
SPEAKER_00 (06:47):
I'm sure you do.
SPEAKER_03 (06:47):
It's Lulu's tree.
SPEAKER_00 (06:49):
Which you know you can get Wi-Fi enabled power
plugs for like little ornothing, like a pack of two or
three for ten bucks.
Yeah, but the push of a buttonand it turns all the lights off.
Yeah, maybe doing that.
Or set it up on a schedule,that's what I do, so that they
turn on at like 6 a.m.
so that I wake up to Christmaslights.
SPEAKER_01 (07:07):
That's where you get the feels going.
Because I leave my I leave ourChristmas lights on a lot on the
tree.
SPEAKER_03 (07:12):
And we have one in our bedroom you like to leave on
all the time.
And I can't because it's like Ihave a spotlight in my eye
holes.
SPEAKER_01 (07:19):
I can sleep with the Christmas lights on.
So you can turn the lights on,I'll sleep.
No.
SPEAKER_00 (07:24):
Speaking of Christmas and wintry wondery
lands.
Can uh can I just acknowledgethe fact that we get to have the
AC on now?
Yeah.
It's okay.
So we're 30 plus 34.
SPEAKER_03 (07:37):
Today's 34.
SPEAKER_00 (07:38):
I think this one yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (07:40):
I'm point pointing at the number that I wrote.
unknown (07:42):
Good deal.
SPEAKER_01 (07:43):
Thirty-four episodes in, and we just realized we
could leave the air on becausewe have a when you do the
editing, you take out thebackground noise, which is But I
never heard it covered the AC.
SPEAKER_00 (07:57):
And last episode we left it on by accident.
SPEAKER_02 (07:59):
I did.
SPEAKER_00 (08:00):
And then we turned it off because it gets hot in
here.
It gets really hot.
Yeah, we've been sweating it outfor three.
SPEAKER_03 (08:05):
We turned off the ceiling band and we turn off the
air conditioner because we justknew that you guys could hear
it.
Um no.
SPEAKER_00 (08:11):
So now we're gonna record podcasts in comfort.
SPEAKER_03 (08:14):
We're not gonna air conditioner.
SPEAKER_01 (08:17):
Man, if we figure this out in 34, what are we
gonna hit?
When we hit 60, it's gonna beright.
It's gonna be mind-blowing.
SPEAKER_03 (08:23):
Life-changing backup.
SPEAKER_01 (08:25):
Well, that's a great it's it's a great transition
from talking about um holidays.
Holidays and Christmas treesinto what we're talking about.
And because we are right on theedge of the holiday season.
So when this episode comes out,it'll probably be close to right
at uh Halloween or the weekthereof or week at.
(08:48):
So this is crazy time.
If you have kids, if you havelarge families, even if you
don't, even if you're newlymarried or you've been married
for a long time.
SPEAKER_03 (08:59):
And if you're single, but you've got a lot of
siblings who are married andyou're trying to blend in with
all that in your own family,that's a lot.
SPEAKER_01 (09:06):
Yeah.
When you yeah, there's just somuch.
Like and so everybody has theseEverybody has traditions,
everybody has these things theygo through through the holidays,
whether it's Thanksgiving,whether it's Christmas, whatever
those may be.
Everybody has these traditionsand they just sometimes they're
a little overboard with makingsure that you stick with those
(09:28):
traditions.
Um and so we're gonna talk aboutscheduling uh with kids, with uh
the chaos, the craziness.
We we did this through blendedfamily.
Yeah.
Um and then so we'll talk aboutthat aspect, but also too, if
you're just a family and you gotlots of things, there's this is
something that you may findsomething in.
(09:50):
So there's something foreverybody a little bit in this.
So we're talking aboutscheduling and traditions and
the whole idea uh through theholidays.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (09:58):
So one thing I learned right off the bat that I
was not good at, that it's aboutnegotiating.
SPEAKER_02 (10:07):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (10:08):
And that you I had to learn I could not have
everything I wanted.
SPEAKER_01 (10:14):
Yeah.
Well, there's there's one thing.
Um I was talking to a guy onetime about we're talking about
blended family, and he asked me,he goes, if you could give me
one piece of advice on blended,like like leading or being a
part of a blended family, then Iwould say don't be selfish, it's
not about you.
SPEAKER_02 (10:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (10:30):
Like if you can grab that concept of you you're it's
not about you, then you're gonnabe just fine.
But yeah, it is a negotiating.
Because when you start, I mean,every especially if you're new
into it.
If you've been into it for awhile, here's here's the thing.
It doesn't matter if you've beenin like your traditions for 10
years, things change.
(10:51):
Like I'm so sorry.
You have to quit smoking.
SPEAKER_03 (10:55):
Right, Peck.
I don't smoke everybody.
SPEAKER_01 (10:59):
I'm kidding, she doesn't.
But if you've been in thosetraditions, times change, things
change.
Like kids grow up.
Yeah, kids move off to college,they come back from college,
they get married, they havetheir own families.
There's so many.
SPEAKER_03 (11:10):
And when they get married, they have to fit figure
out the other the in-law part.
Like it's just a lot of movingparts, especially as kids get
older.
Yes.
Um but uh our past experiences,like when we put this whole
circus together, um they weren'tall bad and they weren't all
good.
But one thing that was actuallyvery helpful, um, your ex-wife
(11:35):
would do a um, it was like aGoogle calendar.
Yep.
Um it was color-coded um forwhat her family, what they were
doing with her, and then shewould ask us for things that we
were doing, and then it wouldhave their like Callie and
Cody's like technical days ofwhere we were switching, because
we'd have we would have to taketurns with Christmas Eve or
(11:56):
Christmas morning, and it wouldalternate each year.
Um and that negotiating partcame in there.
SPEAKER_01 (12:03):
Well, yeah, because there were certain things we
wanted to try to do.
We were trying to activities wewanted to do with the kids.
And so understanding too,because Thomas, I mean, you're
you're from a a family.
Um TJ's family too.
SPEAKER_03 (12:19):
We still would do stuff with them.
Yes and then Thomas and Aaronwould have plans with his second
marriage.
SPEAKER_01 (12:27):
So your mom wanted to, then your dad and your
stepmom wanted to do something.
SPEAKER_03 (12:32):
Yeah, so just me all by myself, I'm pleasing three
parents, three sets of parents.
TJ's mom, who's still very muchin our life now and was very
much then, my dad andstepmother, and then my mother.
That just me by myself.
Then you add in your family.
SPEAKER_02 (12:48):
Yep.
SPEAKER_03 (12:49):
And then we would have things with your immediate
family, but then we also hadseveral things with your
extended family, too.
That was just a lot of just meand you parts.
And then you add in for Callieand Cody doing all the stuff
with your ex-wife's family.
Like that was just that was alot.
SPEAKER_01 (13:06):
Yeah.
And our kid our kids kind of wewe had the schedule and we would
print that out and put itliterally on everything.
SPEAKER_03 (13:13):
Yeah.
Um, because bless our hearts.
They they didn't know if theywere coming or going, especially
like during the in general, yes.
It was a very predic predictableschedule.
But during the holidays, it justgot wacky.
SPEAKER_01 (13:24):
Yeah.
November and December were justcrazy.
SPEAKER_03 (13:26):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (13:26):
Um they were just always, always all over the
place.
So it's that whole negotiating,knowing like what are what do I
what do we really want?
What are the things we really,really want?
What are the things that we'rekind of willing to give on?
SPEAKER_03 (13:40):
And there were heartaches on a lot of those
occasions, too.
There would be things that wetruly wanted them to be at.
And when the other parent is notalways willing to work around
those things, that that's hardthat hurts.
SPEAKER_01 (13:54):
Yeah, it's hard.
That's a hard it's hard to thinkof swallow.
And because if you're notcareful, you allow that.
You get frustrated, you getupset, and you bring all that
stuff into when you actually dothe activity with them, or if
you get to.
Um it's not the kids' fault.
SPEAKER_03 (14:10):
No.
SPEAKER_01 (14:10):
Um but I'm not saying like I'm sure there were
times where we did things uhthat didn't work out with her
schedule, and she would getfrustrated at us.
So it goes back and forth.
It does.
Uh you it's it's literally anegotiation where you're just
going, um, what do I'm willingto give home?
What do I'm willing to stand on?
Because if you're like, nope,I'm getting everything I want to
(14:30):
do.
SPEAKER_03 (14:31):
It's not gonna work for anybody.
SPEAKER_01 (14:32):
Yeah, it's just no, yeah, it's gonna blow up and
because you have to also tookeep in mind, and we try to, we
try to remind ourselves, keep inmind the kids.
Yes.
Like Callie and Cody, Thomas andAaron do all of this.
Yeah, nobody asked for this.
SPEAKER_03 (14:44):
Right.
None of the children and I meanyou and I, none none of us asked
for this.
Right.
So one thing we learned prettyearly on, I wouldn't say that we
learned it right away, but um,we learned that whatever the
holiday is, it's as special asyou make it.
SPEAKER_02 (15:00):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (15:00):
Even if it's not on that specific day that you I
have to have the kids that day.
Okay, well, you you may not getto have them on Christmas Eve at
three o'clock when you wantthem.
SPEAKER_02 (15:10):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (15:10):
So if you get them on December 22nd and you have
them the whole day, well, thatvery well might be your
Christmas.
SPEAKER_01 (15:16):
Yeah.
And December 22nd's on Christmasthis time.
SPEAKER_03 (15:19):
So hypothetically speaking.
SPEAKER_01 (15:21):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (15:22):
It's it's as special as you make it.
The experience is the importantpart, not what day of the
calendar it's on.
SPEAKER_01 (15:28):
Yeah, that's that's huge to keep in mind.
That's a good mantra for you asa parent to constantly tell
yourself through the holiday uhthis is about the experience.
It's not about the day of theday when we're doing it.
Like it's okay to, hey, theseare the the the way things work,
and you may have to change thosearound and figure out different
(15:50):
times to have different things.
SPEAKER_03 (15:51):
I remember a few years ago, um, it was Christmas
Eve, and our older two weremarried and with in-laws that on
Christmas Eve.
Um, Cody was with his mom, andAaron Grace was with a boyfriend
doing something for ChristmasEve, and it was you and I.
We were like, hold on a minute.
(16:11):
Wait.
SPEAKER_02 (16:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (16:13):
How how did this happen?
Yeah.
Why are we alone and we've gotfour kids and not a single one
of them is here.
It was weird.
SPEAKER_01 (16:22):
It was weird.
SPEAKER_03 (16:23):
It was emotional.
We both cried, I'm pretty sure.
SPEAKER_01 (16:25):
Then we we broke up, we broke open a bottle of wine
and watched old Christmasmovies.
SPEAKER_03 (16:29):
Our black and white movies that we save some special
days.
We stay up way too late watchingIt's a Wonderful Life and
Miracle on 34th Street.
SPEAKER_01 (16:40):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (16:41):
And sometimes if you give in, we watch White
Christmas.
SPEAKER_01 (16:44):
I like brands.
I like the newer miracle on 34thStreet.
I don't like the old one.
SPEAKER_03 (16:48):
Yeah, you don't like the old one.
SPEAKER_01 (16:49):
I like the newer one.
SPEAKER_03 (16:50):
But we watch a wonderful life.
That's a non-negotiable onChristmas Eve, and we both cry
every time.
SPEAKER_01 (16:56):
And we always watch our our traditions for that is
we watch Chevy Chase ChristmasVacation.
That's the first one.
That's the very first thing.
It's the first one every year.
Yeah, we watch it afterThanksgiving.
Yes.
We watch that and then it kicksoff.
SPEAKER_03 (17:09):
You remember that year when your sister hosted
Thanksgiving and we watched itafter Thanksgiving dinner and
they projected it on the side ofthe house and we all watched it
outside.
It was out there.
SPEAKER_01 (17:19):
That was fun.
That was really cool.
SPEAKER_03 (17:20):
Yeah.
But anyway, it's about theexperience, not what day it is.
SPEAKER_01 (17:24):
Right.
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (17:26):
That's a hard pill to swallow.
SPEAKER_01 (17:27):
It really is.
It seems really when you say ithere sitting in this room.
SPEAKER_03 (17:30):
It's like, yeah, of course.
SPEAKER_01 (17:32):
It's like, oh, why would you not?
Like, that's so dumb.
But dude, when you get in thelike that that Christmas.
Remember the Christmas morningwe woke up and everybody was
gone?
Like, I think Aaron was working,Thomas was already married.
Cody was off school.
Callie was married.
SPEAKER_03 (17:46):
Aaron did have to work one Christmas morning, yes,
at the dog place.
SPEAKER_01 (17:50):
We were there and we're just like, What do we do?
I was like, do you many cookiebreakfast?
It was really, I was like, okay,we can't do it.
Because when they were little, Iwas like, I don't know what to
do.
I think it's the first time weever watched a Christmas parade.
SPEAKER_03 (18:02):
Yeah.
Well, when they were little.
When they were little bitty andgrowing up.
You know, our family, we docinnamon rolls.
Used to, my dad and stepmomwould bring cinnamon rolls to
our house because they wanted tosee Santa with our kids.
I'm gonna cry talking aboutthese sweet traditions.
And so when the kids got alittle bit bigger, and my
brother had kids way after wehad kids.
SPEAKER_02 (18:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (18:25):
And so that, you know, obviously the focus
shifted to Santa time with Emoryand Easton.
Um, but it was like cinnamonrolls is still our thing.
That's what we do on Christmasmorning, and nobody was there to
have them.
SPEAKER_01 (18:39):
So we ate a whole bunch of cinnamon rolls.
I mean, the kids showed up.
SPEAKER_03 (18:43):
It was more like brunch with the kids by the time
Callie and Cody, like all thethings.
There's just so many movingparts.
SPEAKER_01 (18:49):
And the the crazy thing is though, like you have
to keep in mind, like, when wetalk about negotiating events,
like it was it two, three yearsago, it may have been three
years ago.
All our kids were grown.
Like they are, I mean, it'sprobably two.
I think Thomas and Miranda weredating or about to get married.
Or I can't remember.
But they wanted to have, they'relike, let's not do a traditional
(19:11):
Thanksgiving.
Let's do a fiesta Thanksgiving.
And I was like, what do you meanby that?
SPEAKER_03 (19:17):
It was three years ago, it was right before they
got married.
SPEAKER_01 (19:19):
Yeah, they're like, let's have tacos and nachos and
taco bars and all kinds of, andwe'll have margaritas or
whatever, and we'll just haveit.
And I was like, okay, I guessit's our Thanksgiving.
SPEAKER_03 (19:31):
Yeah, it's kind of like the kids banded together
before Yeah, they they came witha plan.
They did, all of them.
Yes.
And we were like, okay, so we'regonna have a Thanksgiving
fiesta, and it was a blast.
SPEAKER_01 (19:43):
We had so much fun.
SPEAKER_03 (19:44):
And so then it's kind of been like if we get to
have our Thanksgiving here atour home, um, which we are this
year, woo! Um, because Callieand Charles are coming up from
Florida.
SPEAKER_02 (19:54):
That's right.
SPEAKER_03 (19:55):
But it's kind of like we intentionally don't do
Thanksgiving food becausethey're gonna get their fill of
it literally everywhere else.
SPEAKER_01 (20:03):
Yeah, they eat Thanksgiving food.
Like we figured it out.
I think we ate like four or fiveThanksgiving meals one time.
SPEAKER_03 (20:09):
It was a lot.
SPEAKER_01 (20:10):
I love dressing, but bruh.
I'm done.
I can't eat any more dressing.
SPEAKER_03 (20:15):
So one thing that is hard to keep in mind, and it's
easy to say it looking back, butyou have to keep in mind that
things are gonna change even ifyou don't want them to.
SPEAKER_01 (20:24):
Oh, they will, yes.
SPEAKER_03 (20:25):
Because everything has a season.
I mean, at one point we had aseason where we had four little
kids and going 5,000 places andit was busy, and Callie and Cody
had to go twice as many places,and we were trying to keep up
and go and do and drop off andpick up and at the same time
trying to teach them to enjoythe season and you know, all the
(20:47):
things.
Um but that childhood's portion,there's a shelf life because it
will end.
SPEAKER_02 (20:54):
Yep.
SPEAKER_03 (20:54):
And then you're gonna transition to another
portion of life, whether it'slike they move on to you know,
getting married or college orwhatever, everything is going to
change.
SPEAKER_01 (21:04):
Yeah.
Um schedules change, timeschange.
SPEAKER_03 (21:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (21:07):
Um kids start getting jobs where I mean, where
they have to work on holidays.
So you're trying to figure outthe thing.
SPEAKER_03 (21:14):
And now Thomas is a firefighter.
Like, you know, thankfully hewas home for Lucy's first
Christmas last year, but thisyear he works on Christmas Day.
SPEAKER_02 (21:22):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (21:22):
So they're gonna have to write a letter to Santa
for Santa to come a day earlyjust for Lucy.
SPEAKER_02 (21:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (21:31):
And so also so that means that we are going to have
Christmas morning a day early.
So it's like you got you gottago with the flow.
SPEAKER_01 (21:39):
Yeah, you just I think that's the thing, though.
Like you sometimes you get sostuck in these traditions that
you you love the tradition morethan you love the experience
with the people.
SPEAKER_03 (21:50):
Oh, that's a good one.
Say that again.
I you forgot what you saidalready.
SPEAKER_01 (21:54):
Yeah, I didn't forgot it.
SPEAKER_03 (21:55):
That sometimes you love the tradition more than you
love the people that you'redoing it with.
SPEAKER_01 (21:59):
Right.
I mean, that was the wholereason you start the tradition,
to make people come together fora certain reason to celebrate
and have fun.
And then we get so stuck that ifeverything is not perfect the
way that tradition should go, weget torqued up when it's like,
no, no, no, the look who you'rewith.
Like that's the important partof it, I think, to keep in mind.
SPEAKER_00 (22:18):
Well, and one thing, and when we talk about this all
the time when we're talkingabout leading teams, is we we
see a great experience thatwe've had in the past, and we
think that the recipe to getthat back is to do the exact
same things over and over again.
So if it's well, if we didn'tall meet at Granny's house, or
if this group of cousins didn'tcome, or if this it's not gonna
(22:39):
work out because it's not wedidn't have the same recipe,
quote unquote, to get thatresult.
And it goes back to what y'allsaid earlier, it is what you
make it.
SPEAKER_02 (22:48):
Uh-huh.
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (22:49):
It's what you make it.
So realize that what got you tothat point before may not be the
exact same thing that gets youto that point again.
Yeah.
It may be something entirelydifferent.
But again, don't let thetraditions outweigh the people
that you're experiencing.
SPEAKER_01 (23:02):
I mean, it's the same truth for marriage.
Like when you're if you've beenmarried longer than seven years,
you've probably changed.
You're you're probably not thesame person you that you like.
SPEAKER_03 (23:11):
Your wife and realize you've been married long
for one year.
I mean, people change.
SPEAKER_01 (23:15):
Yeah, it's like you change, you go through seasons,
you learn to love each otherthrough a different place at a
different time.
Like it it looks different.
The same is true with any ofthis.
Um so it's good to keep thosethings in mind.
But also, too, like come up withsome new traditions.
Like something that kind ofworks.
SPEAKER_03 (23:34):
One way that we did that with developing a new
tradition in our family was whenthe kids were little, we would
Sorry, excuse me.
Um we started doing a a StoneMountain tradition when they
were young.
Um we would try to go early inDecember because we knew it was
about to get crazy.
And so we would choose a a day,and sometimes it was actually
(23:56):
during their school break, andwe would go spend the day at
Stone Mountain, do all theChristmas stuff and the train
ride and they started becauseour kids loved Christmas lights.
SPEAKER_01 (24:05):
So there were times where we would um there were
nights where we would have thekids, all for the kids.
We would load them in the car.
SPEAKER_03 (24:11):
After dinner, they would go get their showers, put
their pajamas on.
SPEAKER_01 (24:14):
And we would go ride, look at Christmas lights.
SPEAKER_03 (24:16):
With hot chocolate.
SPEAKER_01 (24:17):
They needed hot chocolate.
And so we would just ridearound.
There were lots of places thatjust had Christmas lights, and
we would get teary out.
We would just go do those thingsfor for fun.
And we did that like a couple oftimes because it's easy.
You just ride around the car.
Yeah.
Um, looking at Christmas lights.
And you know, certainsubdivisions have lots of
Christmas lights.
Yeah, so you decided you just gocheck them out.
SPEAKER_03 (24:37):
Yeah, then that's what led us to Stone Mountain.
And then as they got bigger, andwe had to wait a little bit
because our youngest Aaron Gracehas always been really small.
And so we had to wait till shegot big enough to ride rides,
and we'd go to an amusementpark, six flags that's near us,
and they would always gooverboard.
SPEAKER_01 (24:53):
The lights or Christmas were insane.
SPEAKER_03 (24:56):
Amazing.
SPEAKER_01 (24:56):
Yeah, it's really, really good.
SPEAKER_03 (24:58):
So that was something that we did.
SPEAKER_01 (24:59):
We did ride roller coasters and till you got sick.
Yeah, I would usually get sickabout the fourth or fifth
upside-down roller coaster.
SPEAKER_03 (25:07):
Yeah, in a row.
Yeah.
So that was one thing that wedid, keeping in mind or trying
to help ourselves keep in mindthat things change, seasons
change.
Um, and like my dad, wementioned my dad earlier.
Um, the TJ passed away inSeptember of 2010.
And so that neck that followingThanksgiving right right away,
(25:29):
my dad was like, let's start anew tradition.
Let's I'm gonna me and uh mystepmom, uh, we're gonna take
you and the kids to Cherokee,North Carolina.
And we're just gonna have a fewdays after Thanksgiving to just
relax.
We would go to Santa Land littlepitiful amusement park that's so
cute.
And so that was our traditionthat we did two or three times,
(25:52):
and then when it was just me,and then when you and I got
married, y'all started coming,of course, obviously.
And so then Callie and Cody fellin love with that trip, and so
we did it a few years in a row.
Um, and then I don't know why wejust quit doing it, but then
last year you and I were like,you know what?
We're gonna pick up Pop'sChristmas kickoff and we're
(26:14):
gonna do that with our family.
SPEAKER_02 (26:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (26:16):
Um, because it was such an intentional time that we
could it wasn't on the holidayof Thanksgiving, it wasn't on
Christmas, but it was such agood time to just spend those
few days, and it was only two orthree days.
Yeah.
That was just because it'sfamily.
SPEAKER_01 (26:32):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (26:32):
And that was something that we became
intentional about too.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (26:36):
And so it's always being mindful of I mean, for me,
I'm a Thanksgiving guy becausethere's no presents, there's no
gift exchange, you don't youjust There's no expectations.
SPEAKER_03 (26:46):
Right.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (26:46):
You just cook food and hang out.
SPEAKER_03 (26:48):
Other than good food.
SPEAKER_01 (26:48):
Yeah, you you eat good food, you hang out
together, you watch somefootball, you play in the yard.
SPEAKER_03 (26:53):
Uh it's just Callie broke my finger one year we were
playing football.
SPEAKER_01 (26:57):
Yeah, you hadn't let go of that, actually.
SPEAKER_03 (26:58):
I can't.
SPEAKER_01 (26:59):
Yeah.
And so she really did.
SPEAKER_03 (27:01):
Yeah.
She threw the football at me.
I wasn't ready.
SPEAKER_01 (27:05):
It was it's just it's just fun for me.
But like even around you cancome up with traditions around
Thanksgiving, come up withtraditions around uh Christmas,
come up with traditions aroundthe new year.
Do something fun for the newyear.
SPEAKER_03 (27:16):
Keep in mind it does not have to be that day.
SPEAKER_01 (27:18):
No, like any time you pick the day, and again,
remember that who you're doingit with is what the important
part is.
Yes.
Like we had a tradition wherethe kids would always get um
pajamas and then we would get anew game.
And so on Christmas Eve, wewould always play this new
family game and we would havepajamas.
Well, the kids always knew theywere getting pajamas on
Christmas Eve.
And they did.
SPEAKER_03 (27:38):
And then the times where we didn't have Callie and
Cody, um, Thomas and Aaron Gracewanted to wait till Christmas
morning when they would comehome.
They would all open their gifts,they would all put on their new
pajamas on Christmas morning,and we would play the game on
Christmas morning.
Yeah.
So it wasn't about what day itwas, it was just that, oh, we're
all together, let's do it.
SPEAKER_01 (27:57):
And so now it's just as our kids are getting older
and their lives are developingand it's just harder and harder
to get everybody in the sameplace.
SPEAKER_03 (28:04):
But I'll tell you the truth though, before we
unpack.
Um I th was it last year or theyear before, um, I still wanted
to buy a family game becausethat was part of their tradition
when they were little andgrowing up.
And then they all were it waskind of overlapping time where
they all were here and it didnot add up to enough time to do
all the things I wanted to do.
(28:25):
And I had to let go of that,which was really, really hard
and my heart hurt.
SPEAKER_02 (28:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (28:30):
But I'm like, okay, well, that's over.
Like, we can't do that anymore.
And so I'm like, now saying itsounds like, well, yeah, there
two of them are married andhomeowners and like one's out of
state.
It was like, of course it'sdifferent.
But I had to let go of thatfinally.
SPEAKER_01 (28:48):
Well, it's again, we go back to remember who you're
with.
SPEAKER_03 (28:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (28:51):
Remember why you've you started those to have fun
together.
SPEAKER_02 (28:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (28:54):
And fun may be different.
Now it looks different, it isdifferent.
And so it's some things to keepin mind.
This is a I mean, just remember,make a calendar.
That's very, very important.
Like, make a calendar, put allof it on there, all the things
that you gotta do, you need todo.
Sometimes that can beoverwhelming.
SPEAKER_03 (29:11):
It can be.
SPEAKER_01 (29:12):
But that's probably a good indication of maybe we
need to like But I'm stilllearning though.
SPEAKER_03 (29:17):
I'm not say I and I promise you, I'm not saying this
stuff as if, oh, I'm the expertand this is how you do it.
I'm like, we're still learning,we're still walking through it.
And thank God, our preciousdaughter-in-law, she gets it.
So she has already, like twoweeks ago, started planning
Thanksgiving because we she withCallie.
Yeah, she was talking to Callie,her sister-in-law, our oldest,
(29:40):
and Callie was like, We'recoming up for Thanksgiving this
year.
We haven't even told anybodyyet.
So then Miranda, our daughter inlaw, started immediately texting
everybody like, these are thedays, this is what we're doing,
this is the day that we're doingit with them.
Everybody be there.
And I'm like, she gets it.
Thank goodness.
SPEAKER_01 (29:57):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (29:57):
Anyway, so how do we unpack this, babe?
SPEAKER_01 (30:01):
Who uh before we unpack.
So we talked about have the havethe schedule.
The other thing is is to to havehave have reasonable
expectations.
SPEAKER_03 (30:16):
That's so hard when you want to be selfish.
SPEAKER_01 (30:18):
I know.
But this especially as thebigger your family gets, as your
family grows, this just getsharder.
So take some time, map it out.
Uh I think unpack.
I I have one thing.
Yeah.
Um I would say.
Um at least you or your wifepick one tradition you would
(30:40):
like to keep, one thing youwould like to hold on to.
Maybe during Thanksgiving, maybeduring Christmas time, maybe New
Year's, whatever that is, onething you want to hold on to.
And then she picks one thingthat you want to do.
And they may be new ones.
It could be, I don't know, itcould be an old one.
Um, but have that and try toreasonably reasonably work those
(31:01):
into your schedule.
SPEAKER_03 (31:02):
That's the key.
SPEAKER_01 (31:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (31:03):
Reasonably.
You only have uh so much time,you only have so many days that
everybody can do together.
SPEAKER_01 (31:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (31:12):
But the reasonable part is where I have stumbled of
not getting my feelings hurtwhen it doesn't work out.
I have to be reasonable with myexpectations.
Yeah.
I'm still learning that.
SPEAKER_01 (31:23):
Yeah, it's okay.
SPEAKER_03 (31:24):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (31:24):
So that's mine.
Do we have anything else forunpack?
That's it.
SPEAKER_03 (31:28):
No, that's it.
So think about big one, though.
Yeah, we've got to be a littlebit more than that.
At one, that's hard.
SPEAKER_01 (31:31):
Yeah.
And so spend some time.
Talk about it.
Uh, talk about your calendar,talk about new traditions, old
traditions, things you lovedabout them, things that you
could change, how could youadapt?
And remember, above anythingelse, man, you're you're about
to jump into a really busy time.
But as you get so busy, justremember to tap the brakes and
(31:52):
remember what all this is for,anyway.
You're celebrating each other,you're celebrating family,
you're celebrating so manydifferent things.
Keep that in mind.
Take a deep breath and justrelax and enjoy.
Um, because there'll come a timejust like us.
We're sitting there on ChristmasEve, and it's you and I, and
we're like, uh where's everybodyat?
SPEAKER_03 (32:13):
Why do we not have toys flying everywhere and you
know, nerf guns or you're notputting anything together.
SPEAKER_01 (32:19):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (32:20):
There's not crayons and markers everywhere.
It's it's it's it's bittersweet.
It's what life is supposed todo.
SPEAKER_01 (32:27):
Yep.
SPEAKER_03 (32:28):
And you gotta go with it.
SPEAKER_01 (32:30):
Yeah, exactly.
So anything to add to that,producer Michael?
All right.
Well, well, thank you guys forjoining us uh today as we talked
about the crazy holiday seasonthat's coming up.
I hope you enjoy it.
I hope you have some time.
If there's something you wouldlike for us to talk about,
discuss, uh, unpack together, uhfeel free to shoot us a DM.
SPEAKER_03 (32:53):
I was literally just about to say, yeah, I was just
about to say, if when you havethis discussion with your
spouse, partner, boyfriend,girlfriend, whatever the case
may be, if it's difficult andyou can't see eye to eye and
you'd like for us to help youwalk through that, send us a
message.
Like we can FaceTime each other,we can help you walk through it.
SPEAKER_01 (33:14):
We'll jump on the phone with you.
SPEAKER_03 (33:14):
Yeah, we'd love to have a conversation.
SPEAKER_01 (33:16):
So, yeah, I mean, we're that that ultimately that
would make us extremely excitedto do that.
We would so um that that's whatwe want to do is is help you
unpack and work through thesethings.
So and the topics that you'restruggling with or dealing with,
so yep, uh let us know.
Um keep liking, keep sharing.
Um and we keep growing and we'llkeep doing these.
SPEAKER_03 (33:36):
So yeah, we love you and appreciate you.
SPEAKER_01 (33:38):
Yeah, thank you guys.
Have a good night.
SPEAKER_03 (33:40):
See you next time.
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