October 14, 2025 • 37 mins
A ballpark hot dog, a Costco food court run, and a 10 p.m. stress walk might seem like throwaway moments—until they become the blueprint for how we stay close, present, and sane. We invited our friend Mason back for a guys-only mic takeover to talk about the simple, repeatable choices that keep love running long: creating margin, communicating needs without guilt, and choosing real refueling over easy numbing.
We compare marriage to an endurance race with aid stations you can’t afford to skip. Mason shares how he and his wife protect each other’s rhythms—her early gym routine, his flexible runs—and why a shared calendar beats simmering resentment. We get honest about the addictive escape in our pockets, and how quiet, movement, and nature restore what scrolling never will. Expect practical ideas you can use tonight: kid-free pockets that don’t cost much, errand dates that turn you back into teammates, and tiny rituals that keep connection warm even when life is loud.
There’s also a mindset shift that changes everything: take the first step. Don’t wait for the dashboard light to become a breakdown. Book the sitter. Protect the morning. Walk the block. Listen without fixing when there’s no easy answer. And if planning feels stiff, think gentle guardrails—enough structure to prevent drift, not enough to choke the spark. Along the way we talk communication, unmet expectations, brotherhood and accountability, and why “choose fuel, not numb” might be the most important rule for modern relationships.
If this resonates, share it with a friend who needs a nudge, subscribe for more real talk on marriage and family, and leave a quick review to help others find the show. What’s one small step you’ll take this week to refuel your relationship?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_02 (00:00):
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm Greg.
I hope you guys are ready tounpack and get into some good
conversations today.
SPEAKER_00 (00:07):
And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast, Baggage
Claim.
Thank you for joining us.
SPEAKER_02 (00:17):
Welcome back to Baggage Claim.
If your first time here, thankyou so much for joining us.
If you've been here through all30, 31 episodes, thank you so
much, and welcome back.
We are in part two with Mason uhRosal as our guest.
If you didn't catch that, goback and listen to the other
episode.
(00:37):
You can get a little bit aboutuh Mason.
He is a relationship guru ofSugar Hill, Georgia.
Like he is the man.
So if you're in Sugar Hill, youneed relationship advice.
Very narrow market ofrelationship advice.
Hit him up because he's the man.
And he's also in you know insome um local politics, so he's
(00:58):
really good at that.
But anyway, before we get uhjump in too far, we have um, you
know, we just do some fun randomquestions uh to jump into it.
Wherever you're at, grab thatdrink, pull up to the table with
us, uh enjoy whatever that maybe, and uh just uh jump into
some fun conversations.
We're talking aboutrelationships and marriage, and
this is just guy night.
(01:19):
So Cheers to that.
Yeah.
The ladies gave us themicrophones and said, have at
it.
So this is a one and done.
We'll never get thisopportunity.
This is probably the last timethat's ever happened.
So enjoy this.
Uh listen to this episode andtake it all in like a big drink
of water, because this isprobably all you're getting.
So all right.
So my question is uh it's kindof um during this season, um are
(01:44):
you a hot dog kind of guy or abrat kind of guy?
Are you a hot dog or brat?
And if it is a brat, is itcertain is a certain kind of hot
dog or a certain brat?
Which kind?
What do you got?
SPEAKER_01 (01:56):
Man, what a great question.
So um uh as I mentioned in thelast uh last episode, you know,
dad of four kids, right?
So um I am a unashamed hugefanboy of Costco hot dogs.
Ooh, Costco hot dogs.
And so with the insane amountand cost that it takes to raise
children in 2025, that$1.49.
SPEAKER_03 (02:19):
Oh, bro, that's not as hard.
It doesn't make her rather than$1.49.
SPEAKER_01 (02:24):
So when you're having a bad day, I mean, there
are times, Greg, where I'll justsay, sweetheart, I'm taking the
kids, and like I'll send her apicture.
And there we are in Costco, justcrushing those hot dogs.
You can feed a family of six for10 bucks, Greg.
SPEAKER_02 (02:40):
So you're like two of those dogs, boys.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (02:42):
So if I'm feeling good and fancy, I love grill and
brats like any other goodsuburban dad.
I mean, it's that's hard tobeat.
Yeah.
But a Costco, a Kirkland finest,Costco hot dog.
There you go.
That's my go-to.
What about you, man?
What are you what's your go-to?
SPEAKER_02 (02:57):
It's uh man, there's a there's a certain kind of hot
dog, and I just for the life ofme, it just left me.
Um there you buy them in thegrocery store, and it's a yellow
packet, I think I can't rememberwhat it is, but there's only
five in a pack.
Oh, you're fancy.
They're restaurant style.
SPEAKER_03 (03:14):
Dude, when you grill those, there's not there's not a
bad thing.
Probably like some all Angusbeef type.
Yeah, probably.
SPEAKER_01 (03:20):
So it's just it's the quality of the meat that
makes it.
Yeah, it's really, really good.
SPEAKER_02 (03:25):
If you buy those that are red, you know, solid
red, light dyed red, you'relike, bro, don't eat that.
I don't care even if you put iton the grill.
Still don't eat that, man.
SPEAKER_01 (03:33):
I'm the oldest of five.
I always joke I've got whitetrash taste.
So like I I'll eat pretty muchany hot dog, but I want to try
your fancy five five hot dog andhot dog.
SPEAKER_02 (03:43):
Oh man, I'll have to I don't have my phone around, I
have to Google it.
Um man.
What you would eat the little uhvina sausage, you're a vinyl
sausage cow.
Would you eat those?
Dude, Thomas ate his weight inthose when he was young.
SPEAKER_01 (03:56):
Like, I feel like that's the second cousin to
spam.
SPEAKER_02 (04:00):
Yeah, it's a relative.
It's definitely a relative orthe uh canned corned beef cow
spam is what it is.
It's like it's a what?
SPEAKER_03 (04:07):
Stepchild for a stepchild of if you play your
cards right, and you can returnit to a vanished.
SPEAKER_01 (04:18):
Dreams do come true.
SPEAKER_03 (04:20):
How about you, Michael?
So for me, the hot dog thing iskind of like the ballpark hot
dog.
Like it's gotta be wrapped up intinfull and like the moisture
from the hot dog's gotta soakinto the buns.
My mouth is literally walking.
So that's like the hot dog forme.
Um, but other than that, it'sit's Brawwurst.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (04:35):
Dude, you go to truest parking at that hot dog.
SPEAKER_03 (04:37):
Oh man.
SPEAKER_02 (04:38):
That hot dog down there is just phenomenal.
SPEAKER_03 (04:40):
When I grill hot dogs at home, I will literally
grill them and then put them inthe bun and wrap them and put
them in a cooler and let themsit for like 10 minutes before I
like uh before it's dinner time.
SPEAKER_02 (04:50):
Thomas's wife, we almost almost had to kick her
out of the family because I wasgrilling hot dogs and she goes,
I don't want my grill, can youboil it?
What?
Oh yeah, it's exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (04:59):
So she's like a street cart hot dog.
SPEAKER_02 (05:01):
I was like, what do you want?
Do you boil it?
And she goes, No, I was like, Ihave a grill right here.
I can grill it.
SPEAKER_03 (05:05):
Yeah, no, you I'd rather have it boiled.
You gotta grill it.
You gotta have it like at leasta quarter percent black.
SPEAKER_01 (05:11):
Yeah.
If you're getting grill marks onit, what are you doing?
SPEAKER_03 (05:14):
Yeah, I've eaten a hot dog.
SPEAKER_01 (05:15):
It's a gas station hot dog in that time, right?
SPEAKER_02 (05:18):
It's been rolling.
Dude, the best thing I ever hadis my parents used to, they
would buy and sell real estate.
Well, they had this gas stationthey had bought and they were
remodeling it.
And I went in there and I waslike, can I have the old hot dog
roller?
Oh.
And she goes, Yeah, I have hadit.
Bro.
I thought you could have, if I'dhave won the lottery, I wouldn't
have been even more happier.
Oh my gosh.
(05:38):
I put that thing and we used ituntil it broke.
It literally just shut it downand quit working.
I was like, dang it.
That was good for the last time.
SPEAKER_03 (05:45):
So the question is, did you have hot dogs rolling on
that thing like 24 seconds?
On the weekend?
Because I mean it's not even hotdog unless it's been rolling for
like at least 24 minutes.
SPEAKER_01 (05:54):
Like behind the slides.
Yeah.
In college, I this is not nearlyas cool, but I had one of those
cereal dispensers, and I thoughtI had like a college guy
especially in college.
You can live on cold cerealhere.
So you just roll up to thatpuppy with your bow and just
twist it.
(06:15):
Lucky charm's coming out.
SPEAKER_04 (06:16):
That's beautiful.
SPEAKER_01 (06:17):
If I had the hot dog.
SPEAKER_03 (06:26):
Oh man.
Never gonna graduate.
Well, I got a follow-upquestion.
Okay.
On the hot dog.
Oh, on the hot dog?
What?
SPEAKER_01 (06:37):
Do you not use mayonnaise on your hot dog?
Let's get you a mustard.
That's it.
I'm a pretty open-minded guy.
SPEAKER_02 (06:45):
I have chili, I'll put chili on there, I'll put
cheese.
You know what I like?
You don't put anything on thebread?
No.
No.
You put mayonnaise on the breadand then put a hot dog on there.
SPEAKER_01 (06:55):
We need to cook, we need to cook out and figure this
out.
I gotta be honest.
Yeah, I checked this out.
SPEAKER_03 (07:01):
Ron Burgundy style, which is better.
SPEAKER_01 (07:05):
Um I I definitely prefer mayonnaise.
I I think the follow-up questionis like, do you have brand
loyalty to manage mayonnaise?
That's a very strong people whoare mayonnaise people.
SPEAKER_02 (07:15):
That is a I don't eat a lot of mayonnaise.
We don't I don't have a wholelot of mayonnaise.
Jess eats it on a burger.
I don't.
Oh, I definitely eat it on aburger.
Yeah, I don't eat a whole lot ofmayonnaise.
But if we do in our house, it'sdukes and you can't have
anything else.
Yeah, I like Dukes.
SPEAKER_03 (07:30):
I mean, honestly, all the good brand names are
good though.
SPEAKER_02 (07:32):
I mean, Dukes, Elmond, they're helmets.
Yeah, they're all decent, but Imean Dukes, this is what her
grandmother used, and so that'swhat we're doing.
SPEAKER_03 (07:41):
Jess is hardcore.
SPEAKER_02 (07:42):
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, she will not use anythingin the middle of the case.
SPEAKER_03 (07:45):
If you were talking about making a pulse ball the
other day, and I was like, whatdo you want mayonnaise use?
She's like, Dukes?
There's nothing else to use.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
Like, they don't do they makesomething.
SPEAKER_01 (07:56):
That's some brand loyalty.
She might have like a Dukestattoo.
You know, she could havetattooed.
She probably hid that somewhere.
I'd be like, what'd you getthat?
Have y'all have either of youever done uh chips on your
burgers or your hot dogs?
I like doing that.
I like the crunch.
Yeah, the crunch is.
SPEAKER_02 (08:13):
Especially if it's the um sour cream.
SPEAKER_01 (08:15):
Oh come on, brother.
Yeah.
Sour cream?
SPEAKER_02 (08:17):
I've always just done plain chips.
I've never went flavored.
A classic.
SPEAKER_01 (08:24):
I feel like my culinary horizons are being
expanded by my own.
SPEAKER_03 (08:28):
Peanut butter jelly and like a plain lace chip.
Absolutely.
Nothing is better with peanutbutter jelly.
SPEAKER_01 (08:34):
I gotta go try this stuff out.
SPEAKER_03 (08:35):
I gotta go eat.
SPEAKER_01 (08:35):
I usually make my kids lunch.
Like, Dad, what is this?
SPEAKER_02 (08:38):
Hey, producer Michael said, rock the world, so
yeah, just try it.
All right.
We'll talk about it when you gethome.
We've got to get an update onthat.
That is like I feel like nextepisode you and Jets are just
crunching P V J and C's.
Yeah.
One thing I realized though,like I was watching uh TikTok
(08:59):
the other day and people weredoing food reviews and they were
eating the food while they'retalking.
I cannot, it I can't stand it.
It drives me nuts.
I'm like, don't eat, don't eat.
I don't want to see you eat it.
I don't know, but it just hitme.
I was like, I just can't on.
I don't want to watch you eatfood.
So I don't want to watch that.
I don't know.
Maybe it could be jealousy deepdown in my heart.
(09:19):
It could be.
It could just be mad.
It'd just be like, I want to beeating that.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (09:23):
Going back to the hot dogs, I saw a reel just like
two days ago about a grilledcheese hot dog.
SPEAKER_01 (09:29):
Oh.
SPEAKER_03 (09:30):
Go what?
Cheese?
SPEAKER_01 (09:31):
The bun's grilled cheese?
What it's like?
Is the bun grilled?
Yes.
So what they do is they have totake the hot dog all day long.
SPEAKER_03 (09:37):
And they do basically do like cross-hatching
on the hot dogs so that it likeopens up and like splays out as
you cook it.
Yep.
Um, but then they don't take ahot dog bun, they take a hoagie
roll, butterfly it, and putbutter on the grill.
SPEAKER_01 (09:50):
How butter you get?
I know.
This is ridiculous.
SPEAKER_03 (09:52):
Then they put it down, so you're basically like
grilled cheesing the hoagieroll.
Then they put like, they hadlike probably a pound worth of
cheddar cheese on it, then putit back on the grill so that it
melted into the bread.
Then the well-grilled hot doggets put in the hoagie roll, and
then you eat that.
(10:13):
Like it can't be held as like aheart attack on a in one meal.
I like things like that.
SPEAKER_01 (10:18):
If I'm gonna die, I want to go out with a bank.
Yeah, that's right.
Enjoy it while you know it, youknow?
Why not?
Good grill.
You know what's funny aboutgrilled cheese?
My so I grew, I'm almost a five,and my mom cooked.
She was the cook, right?
The one and only thing I haveany recollection of my dad,
quote unquote, contributing inthe kitchen was he can make a
(10:38):
mean grilled cheese sandwich.
And so, like, I What do you useon the bread?
SPEAKER_02 (10:42):
Did you use butter or mayo?
SPEAKER_01 (10:44):
Butter.
SPEAKER_02 (10:45):
Butter on the bread.
You know, you can do you can domayo.
SPEAKER_01 (10:47):
Apparently, you can put you can brush your teeth in
mayo, you can like use it asmilk in your cereal.
My fault has like I said horizonis more used.
SPEAKER_02 (10:57):
The podcast is like a food podcast.
SPEAKER_01 (11:03):
Here's 45 uses for men, and it's like take notes,
listeners.
SPEAKER_02 (11:08):
So all the women are like, oh, please help us.
We're jets at.
We need jets right now.
SPEAKER_01 (11:16):
We did much better in episode one.
Sorry about that.
SPEAKER_02 (11:18):
But you put instead of the butter on the bread, you
put mayo in Winnie Grilla.
It's it actually.
Again, I'm open to you.
It's really good.
SPEAKER_01 (11:26):
No, no problems here.
I would do it.
SPEAKER_02 (11:28):
We have the we have the air on too.
So look at us.
Eric can be a little bit more.
Yeah.
It really is.
Have you guys heard that loudnoise?
That was our.
We're really being efficienttonight, y'all.
Yeah, we are.
We are off the radio.
All right, let's talk about arelationship.
See how that goes.
So in uh episode one or the onebefore this, not episode one,
(11:51):
but the episode before this, wewere talking about we actually
did talk about relationships.
Um and we were talking aboutmarriage, but you you made this
statement.
You said that um you've realizedthat in order for you to be the
most efficient, like you findwhat refuels you.
Yeah.
And when it refuels you, youthat that helps you kind of be
(12:13):
better at because we talk abouthere all the time.
If you want to be the best uhhusband or best um part of that
relationship, be the healthiestversion of it.
100%.
And so I firmly believe that.
So it's always the idea of like,okay, so find out what helps you
get there.
So for you, what is that?
How did you find that?
SPEAKER_04 (12:31):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (12:32):
And what does that look like on a on a weekly basis
with four kids and a wife and ajob?
SPEAKER_01 (12:38):
Yeah, exactly.
It's that that that chaotictrying to spin all the plates
and running hoping that theydon't they don't crash and burn.
Um, you know, I I think for me,um, and you kind of you tease
this out a little bit, but it'sjust that idea of like if you're
gonna lead others or or youknow, bring value to your
marriage and to your parenting,it's like you gotta be able to
lead yourself, right?
(12:59):
And so um everybody's different,but I think um kind of knowing
what the things are that likefill your bucket and making sure
that like I like to run, forinstance.
And so I'll use kind of like arunning analogy.
When you do a long race, thereare strategic aid stations along
the way.
SPEAKER_04 (13:19):
Yep.
SPEAKER_01 (13:19):
And one of the biggest mistakes that I've made
in running and in marriage iswhen you're feeling good and
you're kind of going at a goodclip, saying, Oh, I don't need
to stop at this aid station.
Right.
Right.
And then mile three, turns tomile six, turns to mile nine,
you're cramping and feelingreally bad for yourself and you
know, boo hoo, that sort ofthing.
And so I think the same thingcan happen is um when we get
(13:43):
caught up in the busyness of um,and it can be good intention,
right?
We're um we're spending so muchof our time trying to serve and
elevate others.
Our our wife, our kids, ourboss, our customers, our, you
know, our friends, all theserelationships where you're
pouring yourself out.
If if you're not taking a refuelstop, um, that can be really
(14:05):
detrimental, um leading toburnout, crashing and burning,
just like that that lack ofbandwidth you might have in your
relationships, where it's like,why am I so short with my wife?
Or why am I so short with mykids?
SPEAKER_04 (14:17):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:18):
And for me, it was kind of learning the hard way
that like I'm not doing a goodjob of like taking care of
myself and doing those thingsthat refuel me.
SPEAKER_02 (14:25):
So how do you how do you do those things on a weekly
basis?
Or do you are you still workingon it?
SPEAKER_01 (14:30):
Or I would say I'm still working on it, but I I no
longer view those things as niceto have.
These are neat to have.
SPEAKER_02 (14:37):
Gotcha.
SPEAKER_01 (14:38):
Um, and so for me, um I'm definitely an extrovert.
You know, having havingrelationships and investing in
relationships with people thatare not tied to my business and
revenue or not tied to like myobligations, that's important.
SPEAKER_02 (14:53):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (14:54):
Um, and so you know, maybe it's uh like I love being
outside, like you, like that'ssomething we like common love
that we share.
And so it's realizing that likeI have to create and protect
margin in my weekly schedule, mydaily schedule, my you know,
weekly rhythm, whatever term youwant to use.
SPEAKER_04 (15:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (15:12):
So that if Greg calls me and says, Hey man, I'm
gonna go hike this, you know, doyou want to go with me and do
that?
That it's not completelyimpossible and out of the
picture because I know thatthose are the things that fill
up my bucket and kind of make mecome alive.
SPEAKER_02 (15:24):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (15:25):
And if I'm doing those things, then I bring my
best to my marriage with mywife.
I bring my best to my parentingas a dad to my four kids, it
carries over to work and thatsort of thing.
And so what I've done justpractically speaking is making
sure that I'm like prioritizingand protecting time on my
calendar, have the margin, thatI'm being proactive and doing
(15:48):
those things that I'veidentified that help me to lower
that pressure or that is thatpressure release valve.
SPEAKER_04 (15:55):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (15:55):
Um and then also being aware of like kind of
pacing out those aid stations.
So it's it's great to say youdid it, but if it's been two
weeks, three weeks, four weekssince you've done something for
yourself that fills your bucket,that should be probably a
concern or something to be awareof.
Right.
Does that answer your question?
(16:16):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (16:16):
Do you um we always say probably the I we always say
I think Jess and I are both onthe same page and saying most I
guess uh fractures inrelationships happen around
either two things, communicationor unmet expectations.
Uh whether it be at work,whether it be in marriage,
whatever it is, usually that'swhen they fracture and things go
(16:37):
sideways.
So in those things you're sayingfor yourself.
So you've communicated that withyour wife, Brandy.
She knows those things aboutyou.
So when you go to say, Hey, Ineed some time to go hike, or I
need some time away.
Have y'all had conversationsaround that?
SPEAKER_01 (16:54):
Yeah.
And that's that is a greatpoint.
It's not enough for you to belike self-aware and say, like, I
need this, but you your spouseneeds to be aware of that too,
so that it's it doesn't feellike a burden for them to
support or carry the load forthe family for you to do those
things.
Yeah.
And so for Brandy, for instance,she is she she's the opposite of
(17:17):
me.
We we joked about that in theprevious podcast.
Yeah.
But she's very regimented, veryroutine.
She likes to have a plan, likesto follow that plan.
And so for her, also as amorning person, as an introvert,
having time every morning tostart her day off at the gym has
been really, really important.
And it's not about the gym, butit's about that time of being
(17:40):
able to say, I can start withsome quiet, being around some
people that like I know and Itrust and like you know, know me
on a deeper level.
I can, you know, put my bestfoot forward here, I can feel
good about myself because I'vedone a hard thing and kind of
conquered that to start my day.
And I've done it with routineover and over again.
Whereas like for me, running isa great like decompression.
(18:04):
But I don't care if it's six inthe morning, six at night, at
lunchtime, whatever, it's moreso I just need to get it done.
Right.
And so for us in our marriage,we figured out that like we need
to protect that time for her inthe morning.
But for me, there will be timeswhere I'm like, hey, hey, babe,
I I need to go for a run.
Um and she was like, Yeah, Igotcha type thing.
(18:24):
So again, to your question, it'sgreat if I know it, but if I
don't communicate it and wedon't have clear expectations
with one another, you're notwhere you want to be.
Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_02 (18:34):
Yeah, 100%.
I think that's an easy like Jessknows sometimes like uh my last
job got got to a point where itwas just extremely stressful.
Yeah.
And I was like, I just I need togo walk.
And she knows that that's mydecompression.
And she was she we have life360.
So I have my phone in my pocket,headphones on, and I'm just
(18:54):
listening to music and I'm justwalking.
When they say I know I'm threemiles from the house, I'm over
at the end.
She's like, Wow, you really didneed to walk.
Yeah, and she's like, she textsme, my phone goes off, where are
you going?
I was like, Oh, I need to go.
I was like, and look, she's youknow, watching me on Life 360 to
see, because it was 10 o'clockat night and I live in downtown
(19:15):
Gainesville.
So I mean it's not thatdangerous of a place, but um,
you know, it's just that we'vecommunicated and know, just hey,
I need some time to just I gottaget away and let my mind think,
and uh, this is what I have todo to kind of refocus a little
bit.
So um because I'm usually not analone guy, but there's sometimes
where I need to, it's just goodfor me to be alone.
SPEAKER_01 (19:35):
At times, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (19:36):
And I think if you're not helped, if you're not
okay being by yourself and beingquiet in that, like turn your
phone off sometimes just andjust be quiet.
It's it's a kind of a coolthing.
Like I got in this habit onetime where I would get in the
truck and I would turn the musicoff, my phone or nothing, just
sit in the truck and just it'sjust quiet.
(19:57):
It's actually really nicesometimes.
It's like, oh wow, look at that.
It doesn't happen much when yougot young kids.
No.
And so you're just like, well,you hear that?
unknown (20:07):
It's quiet.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (20:10):
It's been four years since you heard that sound.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, you know, it's it again,too, it's that whole finding
what you refuels you, findingwhat fills that tank for you so
that you can be not so this isthe problem with that though, is
that if we're not careful inmanaging that, it becomes every
(20:30):
and then we fight for that morethan we like we we lose sight
of, no, that's to refuel me soI'm a better husband, a better
dad, a better world, and then itjust becomes like just so much
of like, nope, I just want to godo that, that's it.
Right.
Every every spare minute I have,I'm gonna go do that.
And it's like, but why?
Yeah.
So it's it's interesting to findthat balance and figure it out
(20:53):
and know the reason behind whyyou're why you're doing it.
SPEAKER_01 (20:56):
So yeah, I I think the balance too is um and I look
I this is I I've been guilty ofthis too.
It's like, how do you how do youhave accountability and clear
expectations with your partnerabout what you need to kind of
be the healthiest version ofyourself, but not taking
advantage to the point whereyou're escaping.
SPEAKER_02 (21:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (21:20):
And I think something that we do a poor job
in just this point in time thatwe are in society is um I'm
trying to get on my soapbox toomuch with this, but like just
that idea of um we carry in ourpockets, all of our pockets, a
very quick and addictive escape.
And you said the importance ofquiet.
I don't care if you'reintroverted, extrovert, I you
(21:41):
know, purple, green, orange,yellow.
Like everyone needs that.
SPEAKER_02 (21:44):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (21:45):
Um, and I think what happens is a lot of times
instead of choosing the harderright, we settle for the easier
wrong.
Um, and the distraction isthere.
It's there, it's convenient,it's numbing, it's whatever.
And so we use that as an escapeas opposed to saying, like, with
(22:06):
the way that I'm wired, withwhat I need, what are the things
that truly like are an aidstation for me that refuel me,
not just numb me.
You know what I'm saying?
Because like if you're on a longrun, and marriage is a long run,
yeah.
When you get to an aid station,you need good fuel, you need
electrolytes, you need, youknow, water, obviously, that
(22:26):
sort of thing.
You might need to stretch,whatever.
Make sure your shoes are good,that sort of thing.
I think in marriage, like thesame thing.
Like, you need to have thoseregular routine, like check-ins,
those date nights.
We talked about like a kid-freetrip every once in a while.
If you can do it and afford it,or you know, you can do some of
the stuff on it.
It can be a staycation at home,like get the get the friends or
neighbors to watch the kids andhave time.
Yeah, excuse me.
SPEAKER_02 (22:46):
If you're saying I can't afford it, it's like you
can do stuff really, reallycheap, almost virtually free.
Like figure it out, be creative.
SPEAKER_01 (22:53):
Well, exactly.
And this kind of comes back tothe idea we talked about in the
last episode where your marriageis worthwhile.
Yeah.
But it's not you're not doing itwrong if it feels hard because
it's worthwhile and it's uphill.
You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_04 (23:08):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (23:09):
And so just like this long endurance race where
it's like it's tough, it'staxing, there are like, you
know, uphills or downhills,there's like all this other
stuff.
Like, it's a journey.
But make sure when you go intothose aid stations, you're going
at it in a smart way.
And you're actually refuelingand not just filling up on junk
to numb yourself.
Or like, oh hey, I got here, mylegs are killing me because I've
run 20 miles.
(23:29):
So I'm just gonna pop a bunch ofyou know, aspirin or whatever,
and just like try or whatever,and just like numb myself.
Yeah.
And um, so yeah, I I I I thinkwhat you do matters.
Communicating that to yourspouse matters, and making sure
too, we talked about in thefirst episode with like a
healthy relationship kind ofbeing that race to the back of
the line.
Right.
Make sure that you're seeing howlong has it has it been since my
(23:52):
wife has been to an aid station?
How long has it been since she'shad that time and proactively
doing the things so that notonly she's able to do it, but
she doesn't feel guilty fordoing it.
SPEAKER_02 (24:03):
Right.
unknown (24:04):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:05):
And I think when you got young kids, that second part
can be really hard.
Yes.
Because it's like, yeah, I needit, but like I can't leave you
with the kids.
It's like, no, you can and youneed to.
SPEAKER_02 (24:15):
Yeah.
Those kids are you're right.
Yeah.
It is so hard, especially whenlike for her right now in this
season of her life, she isstaying home, she's the primary,
like she's with them all thetime.
She has so hard.
SPEAKER_01 (24:28):
My opinion.
SPEAKER_02 (24:29):
So when she's not with them, she's feeling guilty
going, oh, we should do that.
We why don't we do that?
I need to and it's like, no, no,no, no, I got it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, well, we may t we maytear the house down, but we'll
be okay.
Yes.
You know, we'll figure it outwhen you get back.
SPEAKER_03 (24:41):
So, Mason, if I may interject, um you talk about
this earlier in the previousepisode.
You talk about calendarizing,you're talking about all these
things right now.
Do you ever set out a game plan?
Meaning, like when as a dude,like if I got a project I'm
gonna build or something I'mworking on, I'm gonna lay out a
(25:02):
game plan.
If I've got uh a new task at uhat work or when I'm going to a
new job, like I'm laying out agame plan of what my goals are,
what I'm going after, but mostimportantly, the steps that get
me there.
Do you ever do that with arelationship?
I know we talked about thecalendarizing.
Yeah, but uh one, is that aweird way of looking at that?
(25:24):
Because I know we're talkingabout a relationship.
You don't want to uh take awaythe relational part of that and
the personal side of it.
But are there ways that you goabout that so that you stay
focused, you stay on track, anddon't let kids' busyness take
you away from that?
SPEAKER_01 (25:39):
Yeah, that's such a good question, Michael.
Um I would say that's somethingI don't do very well, just
naturally, because I'm not aplanner.
And so if I could kind of goback in time, um I think I would
do a better job beingintentional about the direction
that I was trying to head in.
Because I think in probably thefirst, I don't know, let's say
(26:01):
five years of our marriage, um,there were probably it's kind of
I think my my progress or myjourney was more of like the
stove's hot, ouch, let me nottouch the stove again.
You know, and like going throughiterations of that of like, ooh,
wife not happy, me want to do abetter job, not make your wife
unhappy.
Um, and um, as guys, I think wenaturally like you talked about
(26:27):
this at the beginning of thisepisode, but just that idea of
like us being problem solvers,we're trying to problem solve
and knowing like, was this likea problem that you want solved,
or just like you want acompanion in that journey?
Right.
Um but we compartmentalizethings, and so we're like,
here's a problem.
So the solution needs to be inthis box.
Whereas I think our wivesoftentimes, and I'm generalizing
(26:47):
here, whoops, um, I'm definitelygeneralizing here, but there's a
lot of things that areinterconnected um with that.
And so the idea of like settinga plan in place is is evolving
for me.
And I think I have slowly, mywife would probably say very
slowly, um, gotten hopefullybetter at that, of being like
(27:09):
proactive and um, you know, thisis what I want my marriage to
look like, this is where I wantus to be, that sort of thing.
But I mean, I I took theprobably the dumb marriage
advice that all of us got thatwas like happy wife, happy life
when it started out.
And it was very just likesimple.
So like it would literally belike, is she happy?
(27:29):
I'm doing a good job.
Is she not happy?
I'm doing a bad job.
I need to change something.
Um, but yeah, I think um, andthat's not an excuse.
If you're a guy like me that'snot good at planning, that
doesn't mean we get a pass.
It just means it's it's gonna bemore of an uphill in that
process.
Um but I I think as you pursueyour wife, hopefully, you learn
(27:50):
some things.
And as guys, as you know, asdumb as we can be sometimes,
hopefully, as we go throughthose cycles, we learn also and
say, you know, I don't want totouch that stuff again.
Um, or I see I see how myactions or my short-sightedness
and not thinking about howthings are connected impacted my
wife.
And like I don't like that.
(28:11):
So I hope that answers yourquestion.
SPEAKER_02 (28:14):
Yeah.
I think it's yeah, that's that'sgood stuff.
That's good advice.
I think there's um it's like yousaid, there uh things are
interconnected.
Like I said with Jess today, wewent outside, we just it's a
beautiful, beautiful weatherright here in Gainesville,
Georgia, right now.
It's yeah, and so we're justsitting outside, we got some
music playing, and she's just uhdownloading work.
(28:36):
And there's a there's you know,she's just talking about
everything.
She goes, I'm sorry for wordvomiting, like right now.
And I'm like, No, no, no, it'sokay.
So I I want to know what's goingon in her life because if I
sense frustration or orshortness, I know that the
source of that it may not be me.
It's coming from somewhere else,yeah.
(28:57):
Maybe something else right now.
So it's almost listening tothose things and trying to to
figure it out.
It's not always a problem tosolve, but sometimes it's just
to listen and just to take itin.
Because I I can't solve thatissue for her, you know, and
she's like, I don't know what todo.
And I was like, just keep movingforward.
I don't I don't know, I don'thave any advice for that.
(29:17):
Like, I don't know.
There's nothing to do.
SPEAKER_01 (29:19):
Yeah.
Um that's really hard.
I I think that's really hard forus as dudes.
SPEAKER_02 (29:23):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (29:23):
Like, cause even just like you saying that, like
I like I'm uncomfortable beinglike, yeah, what like what do
you say in that?
And like, and and maybe it'sjust like, yeah, I'm sorry that
you're going through that.
It's just weird.
It's like we don't really havelike words or framework for
like, I don't at least have anidea or suggestion of like how
to solve that.
SPEAKER_02 (29:40):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (29:40):
Um, so yeah, just being aware that's a blind spot
for us, probably.
SPEAKER_02 (29:44):
Yeah.
And yeah, it goes back to us.
We're talking about warningsounds in the one before.
Like that's that, you know,that's it's maybe it's just a
low air pressure in the tire.
Just put some air in the tire.
You know, maybe it's not, ormaybe you're just like, I I
don't, I don't know what thatis.
I don't know.
I like I had uh Like I had oneof these lights pop on my truck
the other day and it was likefour the brake light came on and
(30:05):
the skid thing came on and someother light and I was like, I've
never seen that before.
What does that mean?
I had no idea.
So it was kind of, you know, itwas interesting, figured out
what it was.
So um, yeah, well, it's uhmarriage is not always a like,
oh, we'll just fix that.
That's easy.
Let's just do that.
Let's just do this.
No, it's a it's a process.
And you and as guys, we alwayssay, Well, we're just I'm just
(30:30):
not a good communicator, so youjust gotta have to figure it
out.
Like, and I'm like, that'sthat's a lame excuse and it
doesn't work.
Like become a bettercommunicator, yeah.
So figure it out.
SPEAKER_01 (30:40):
And you know, as as guys, I mean everybody's like
this.
Like, we have a just God createdneed for community.
And I think that's another thingwhere like we can mess up as
guys sometimes and just be like,you know, I'm a lone wolf and I
do this whole thing.
Like I've gotten a lot from likehaving guys that I can trust
(31:01):
that I know that like are kindof in my tribe, um, that I can
say, like, hey man, like I'm Ifumbled the ball in this.
And even sometimes it's justlike, oh yeah, me too.
And it's like, oh, okay, we allsuck.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, wait a minute.
SPEAKER_02 (31:15):
I'm not by myself.
SPEAKER_01 (31:17):
But but just like kind of talking through that and
having that community.
And so, like, we we didn't talkabout that much in the the
previous conversation, but likeI I deeply believe we weren't
meant to do this thing alone.
No, I agree.
And just how there can be acommunity, you know, kind of
that that micro of the family,also figuring out guys that
provide, you know, sound, soundadvice and not just like we're
(31:39):
all complaining about our wives,that's not good.
That's not helpful.
But like some sound advice andand encouragement, I think it's
been good for me.
SPEAKER_02 (31:46):
So we always like to have a a section on baggage
chain where we always just say,hey, we unpack.
Like we all got baggage.
Yep.
I don't care who you are, whereyou're at, where you come from,
you got baggage.
Uh, you either choose to unpackit or you choose to not.
Um, so many times as guys, wedon't unpack our bags and we
don't uh look at those things ofhow we act, how we do things,
(32:07):
how we because if we feel likefor some reason it makes us less
of a man, which is a ridiculousstatement.
Um, but at the same time, beingthe best version of yourself,
sometimes you gotta unpack thosethings.
So that being said, unpack.
I mean, you got uh you you gotfolks all over the place, all
over the United States.
I mean, heck all over the world,there's some people listening,
(32:30):
no matter where you're at.
You have an opportunity to jumpup on your soapbox and say the
one thing about marriage.
Hey, give me one, uh, maybe twothings.
It can be just one, uh, on yoursoapbox of hey, unpack here's
one thing you do this week, uh,marriage.
Like, this is it.
(32:50):
This is my this is my chance.
SPEAKER_01 (32:51):
Ma'am, what would it be?
That that's a big question.
Um it is, yes.
Yeah, that's quite the lead up.
Um I would say maybe just don'tbe afraid to like take the lead.
Like be the one that takes thatfirst step.
SPEAKER_02 (33:10):
So um I was trying to say unpack that a little bit,
that statement, if you don'tmind.
SPEAKER_01 (33:16):
I don't I don't think any of us are like blind
to the fact that there arealways gonna be some you know
light on the dashboard that'sflashing.
And we have a choice as far asdo we kind of ignore it or delay
our response to it, or do weaddress it?
And we all know this is as guys,and I think like a big thing,
(33:39):
like you know, we're gonna beuncomfortable, we're gonna like,
you know, embrace the suck andthat sort of thing.
It's like, well, put your moneywhere your mouth is.
Like this is this is a reallygood opportunity for us, I
think, to be the ones that takethe lead here and say, okay, I
see something that tells me thatthis may be a concern, or just I
don't know what this reallymeans.
Right.
(33:59):
Instead of just like, well,let's just let it play out.
Yeah, maybe it's I'm gonna takethe lead and I'm gonna schedule,
I'm gonna figure out ababysitter, whether it's, you
know, my mom, my mother-in-law,a friend, you know, high school
or whatever, to watch the kidsso that my wife and I can have
time and just spend some time tolike, you know, reconnect or
(34:20):
whatever like that.
Um, you know, maybe it's maybeit's time where it's like, man,
it's been a long time since I'velike taken a day off from work.
Um, so that we can do stuff,even if it's just running
errands and things that we haveto do, but doing it together.
Right.
So that we're not so independentships passing the night.
You know, I don't know.
But I would say that's that's apractical encouragement.
(34:40):
Um, you're not alone.
We're doing this together andwe're all trying to figure this
thing out.
Yeah.
But let's not wait till thelight, till all the tires blow
up, or that we have thatuncomfortable conversation where
it's like we've talked aboutthis, you know, 50 times, or I
can't believe you haven't seen,or like whatever.
It's like, let's kind of cut itoff at, you know, at the pass
(35:00):
and say, hey, Friday night we'regonna go out, or let's, you
know, I I went ahead, we don'thave anything planned next
Friday, but I took Friday offand we're gonna spend time, you
know, getting stuff done thatwe've you know meant to do and
and just kind of doing ittogether.
SPEAKER_04 (35:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (35:16):
Um nice.
So I don't know.
That's yeah, hit me with a hardquestion.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (35:20):
That's a good one.
Because I mean, if you if youand so many guys do this, if we
ignore the things and just saythe whole idea, well, let's see
how it plays out.
Yeah.
Um, you do that with your car.
If the temperature gauge uhmaxes out, engine lots come on,
you're just gonna be like, I seehow this plays out.
I can tell you how it's gonnaplay out.
The engine's gonna blow, yeah.
You're gonna lose your car.
It's gonna cost you a lot ofmoney to fix it.
SPEAKER_01 (35:42):
But that's the difference.
In the car, it costs you a lotof money to fix it.
SPEAKER_02 (35:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (35:46):
This is way more this is.
SPEAKER_02 (35:48):
Yeah, it's way more costly.
SPEAKER_01 (35:50):
We're guys like, let's throw money at the
problem.
Like you can't do that.
SPEAKER_02 (35:53):
Yeah, you can't throw enough money at this.
Yeah.
And so it's just like I I thinkthat's great advice, just to
basically take the first step.
SPEAKER_01 (36:00):
Like be the lead and take the first step, uh, no
matter how comfortable that maybe.
Or how small the step is.
Like yeah.
I I I really I'm a believer likesomething's better than nothing.
Right.
You know, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (36:10):
And so just yeah, and I agree with you.
I think it could be something assimple as let's go run errands
together.
Like it doesn't have to be awe're taking a weekend trip away
somewhere.
No, uh you know, it's like we'rejust we're just gonna start
small and see what happens.
SPEAKER_01 (36:24):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (36:24):
Um, yeah, just to chase her, pursue her.
Um, she's worth it.
So well, well, I feel like, Imean, we've we've had a lot of
fun.
We talked about a lot of reallyfun stuff.
This first, if you listen to thefirst this episode, you got a
lot of food things you need togo try.
SPEAKER_01 (36:41):
Um kids to marriage to mayonnaise and hot dogs.
SPEAKER_02 (36:45):
We name it, we covered it.
So yeah, this might be the lasttime guys get the mics without
the ladies going.
Yeah, but anyway, uh, thank youguys for for joining in and and
listening with us.
Um, if if your wife out thereand you listen to this, you're
like, oh Lord help us, uh sendit to your husband, let him
listen, uh, hopefully getsomething out of it.
SPEAKER_01 (37:06):
Um at least you're not as dumb as these guys.
Yeah.
Look at these two guys.
SPEAKER_02 (37:10):
You're doing great, honey.
Not a boy.
Yeah, you're doing great.
So, but thank you for joining uhbaggage claim tonight and
joining the table with us forsome fun conversation and
hopefully some helpfulconversation.
And Mason, thanks for takingtime out of your crazy uh life.
Just uh, I mean fun crazy, um,but just to come sit with us and
(37:31):
have some conversation tonight.
So thanks for having me.
I had a blast.
Awesome.
Thanks, man.
And uh talk to you guys later.
Have a good one.
Go dough.
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm Greg.
I hope you guys are ready tounpack and get into some good
conversations today.
SPEAKER_00 (00:07):
And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast, Baggage
Claim.
Thank you for joining us.
SPEAKER_02 (00:17):
Welcome back to Baggage Claim.
If your first time here, thankyou so much for joining us.
If you've been here through all30, 31 episodes, thank you so
much, and welcome back.
We are in part two with Mason uhRosal as our guest.
If you didn't catch that, goback and listen to the other
episode.
(00:37):
You can get a little bit aboutuh Mason.
He is a relationship guru ofSugar Hill, Georgia.
Like he is the man.
So if you're in Sugar Hill, youneed relationship advice.
Very narrow market ofrelationship advice.
Hit him up because he's the man.
And he's also in you know insome um local politics, so he's
(00:58):
really good at that.
But anyway, before we get uhjump in too far, we have um, you
know, we just do some fun randomquestions uh to jump into it.
Wherever you're at, grab thatdrink, pull up to the table with
us, uh enjoy whatever that maybe, and uh just uh jump into
some fun conversations.
We're talking aboutrelationships and marriage, and
this is just guy night.
(01:19):
So Cheers to that.
Yeah.
The ladies gave us themicrophones and said, have at
it.
So this is a one and done.
We'll never get thisopportunity.
This is probably the last timethat's ever happened.
So enjoy this.
Uh listen to this episode andtake it all in like a big drink
of water, because this isprobably all you're getting.
So all right.
So my question is uh it's kindof um during this season, um are
(01:44):
you a hot dog kind of guy or abrat kind of guy?
Are you a hot dog or brat?
And if it is a brat, is itcertain is a certain kind of hot
dog or a certain brat?
Which kind?
What do you got?
SPEAKER_01 (01:56):
Man, what a great question.
So um uh as I mentioned in thelast uh last episode, you know,
dad of four kids, right?
So um I am a unashamed hugefanboy of Costco hot dogs.
Ooh, Costco hot dogs.
And so with the insane amountand cost that it takes to raise
children in 2025, that$1.49.
SPEAKER_03 (02:19):
Oh, bro, that's not as hard.
It doesn't make her rather than$1.49.
SPEAKER_01 (02:24):
So when you're having a bad day, I mean, there
are times, Greg, where I'll justsay, sweetheart, I'm taking the
kids, and like I'll send her apicture.
And there we are in Costco, justcrushing those hot dogs.
You can feed a family of six for10 bucks, Greg.
SPEAKER_02 (02:40):
So you're like two of those dogs, boys.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (02:42):
So if I'm feeling good and fancy, I love grill and
brats like any other goodsuburban dad.
I mean, it's that's hard tobeat.
Yeah.
But a Costco, a Kirkland finest,Costco hot dog.
There you go.
That's my go-to.
What about you, man?
What are you what's your go-to?
SPEAKER_02 (02:57):
It's uh man, there's a there's a certain kind of hot
dog, and I just for the life ofme, it just left me.
Um there you buy them in thegrocery store, and it's a yellow
packet, I think I can't rememberwhat it is, but there's only
five in a pack.
Oh, you're fancy.
They're restaurant style.
SPEAKER_03 (03:14):
Dude, when you grill those, there's not there's not a
bad thing.
Probably like some all Angusbeef type.
Yeah, probably.
SPEAKER_01 (03:20):
So it's just it's the quality of the meat that
makes it.
Yeah, it's really, really good.
SPEAKER_02 (03:25):
If you buy those that are red, you know, solid
red, light dyed red, you'relike, bro, don't eat that.
I don't care even if you put iton the grill.
Still don't eat that, man.
SPEAKER_01 (03:33):
I'm the oldest of five.
I always joke I've got whitetrash taste.
So like I I'll eat pretty muchany hot dog, but I want to try
your fancy five five hot dog andhot dog.
SPEAKER_02 (03:43):
Oh man, I'll have to I don't have my phone around, I
have to Google it.
Um man.
What you would eat the little uhvina sausage, you're a vinyl
sausage cow.
Would you eat those?
Dude, Thomas ate his weight inthose when he was young.
SPEAKER_01 (03:56):
Like, I feel like that's the second cousin to
spam.
SPEAKER_02 (04:00):
Yeah, it's a relative.
It's definitely a relative orthe uh canned corned beef cow
spam is what it is.
It's like it's a what?
SPEAKER_03 (04:07):
Stepchild for a stepchild of if you play your
cards right, and you can returnit to a vanished.
SPEAKER_01 (04:18):
Dreams do come true.
SPEAKER_03 (04:20):
How about you, Michael?
So for me, the hot dog thing iskind of like the ballpark hot
dog.
Like it's gotta be wrapped up intinfull and like the moisture
from the hot dog's gotta soakinto the buns.
My mouth is literally walking.
So that's like the hot dog forme.
Um, but other than that, it'sit's Brawwurst.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (04:35):
Dude, you go to truest parking at that hot dog.
SPEAKER_03 (04:37):
Oh man.
SPEAKER_02 (04:38):
That hot dog down there is just phenomenal.
SPEAKER_03 (04:40):
When I grill hot dogs at home, I will literally
grill them and then put them inthe bun and wrap them and put
them in a cooler and let themsit for like 10 minutes before I
like uh before it's dinner time.
SPEAKER_02 (04:50):
Thomas's wife, we almost almost had to kick her
out of the family because I wasgrilling hot dogs and she goes,
I don't want my grill, can youboil it?
What?
Oh yeah, it's exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (04:59):
So she's like a street cart hot dog.
SPEAKER_02 (05:01):
I was like, what do you want?
Do you boil it?
And she goes, No, I was like, Ihave a grill right here.
I can grill it.
SPEAKER_03 (05:05):
Yeah, no, you I'd rather have it boiled.
You gotta grill it.
You gotta have it like at leasta quarter percent black.
SPEAKER_01 (05:11):
Yeah.
If you're getting grill marks onit, what are you doing?
SPEAKER_03 (05:14):
Yeah, I've eaten a hot dog.
SPEAKER_01 (05:15):
It's a gas station hot dog in that time, right?
SPEAKER_02 (05:18):
It's been rolling.
Dude, the best thing I ever hadis my parents used to, they
would buy and sell real estate.
Well, they had this gas stationthey had bought and they were
remodeling it.
And I went in there and I waslike, can I have the old hot dog
roller?
Oh.
And she goes, Yeah, I have hadit.
Bro.
I thought you could have, if I'dhave won the lottery, I wouldn't
have been even more happier.
Oh my gosh.
(05:38):
I put that thing and we used ituntil it broke.
It literally just shut it downand quit working.
I was like, dang it.
That was good for the last time.
SPEAKER_03 (05:45):
So the question is, did you have hot dogs rolling on
that thing like 24 seconds?
On the weekend?
Because I mean it's not even hotdog unless it's been rolling for
like at least 24 minutes.
SPEAKER_01 (05:54):
Like behind the slides.
Yeah.
In college, I this is not nearlyas cool, but I had one of those
cereal dispensers, and I thoughtI had like a college guy
especially in college.
You can live on cold cerealhere.
So you just roll up to thatpuppy with your bow and just
twist it.
(06:15):
Lucky charm's coming out.
SPEAKER_04 (06:16):
That's beautiful.
SPEAKER_01 (06:17):
If I had the hot dog.
SPEAKER_03 (06:26):
Oh man.
Never gonna graduate.
Well, I got a follow-upquestion.
Okay.
On the hot dog.
Oh, on the hot dog?
What?
SPEAKER_01 (06:37):
Do you not use mayonnaise on your hot dog?
Let's get you a mustard.
That's it.
I'm a pretty open-minded guy.
SPEAKER_02 (06:45):
I have chili, I'll put chili on there, I'll put
cheese.
You know what I like?
You don't put anything on thebread?
No.
No.
You put mayonnaise on the breadand then put a hot dog on there.
SPEAKER_01 (06:55):
We need to cook, we need to cook out and figure this
out.
I gotta be honest.
Yeah, I checked this out.
SPEAKER_03 (07:01):
Ron Burgundy style, which is better.
SPEAKER_01 (07:05):
Um I I definitely prefer mayonnaise.
I I think the follow-up questionis like, do you have brand
loyalty to manage mayonnaise?
That's a very strong people whoare mayonnaise people.
SPEAKER_02 (07:15):
That is a I don't eat a lot of mayonnaise.
We don't I don't have a wholelot of mayonnaise.
Jess eats it on a burger.
I don't.
Oh, I definitely eat it on aburger.
Yeah, I don't eat a whole lot ofmayonnaise.
But if we do in our house, it'sdukes and you can't have
anything else.
Yeah, I like Dukes.
SPEAKER_03 (07:30):
I mean, honestly, all the good brand names are
good though.
SPEAKER_02 (07:32):
I mean, Dukes, Elmond, they're helmets.
Yeah, they're all decent, but Imean Dukes, this is what her
grandmother used, and so that'swhat we're doing.
SPEAKER_03 (07:41):
Jess is hardcore.
SPEAKER_02 (07:42):
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, she will not use anythingin the middle of the case.
SPEAKER_03 (07:45):
If you were talking about making a pulse ball the
other day, and I was like, whatdo you want mayonnaise use?
She's like, Dukes?
There's nothing else to use.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
Like, they don't do they makesomething.
SPEAKER_01 (07:56):
That's some brand loyalty.
She might have like a Dukestattoo.
You know, she could havetattooed.
She probably hid that somewhere.
I'd be like, what'd you getthat?
Have y'all have either of youever done uh chips on your
burgers or your hot dogs?
I like doing that.
I like the crunch.
Yeah, the crunch is.
SPEAKER_02 (08:13):
Especially if it's the um sour cream.
SPEAKER_01 (08:15):
Oh come on, brother.
Yeah.
Sour cream?
SPEAKER_02 (08:17):
I've always just done plain chips.
I've never went flavored.
A classic.
SPEAKER_01 (08:24):
I feel like my culinary horizons are being
expanded by my own.
SPEAKER_03 (08:28):
Peanut butter jelly and like a plain lace chip.
Absolutely.
Nothing is better with peanutbutter jelly.
SPEAKER_01 (08:34):
I gotta go try this stuff out.
SPEAKER_03 (08:35):
I gotta go eat.
SPEAKER_01 (08:35):
I usually make my kids lunch.
Like, Dad, what is this?
SPEAKER_02 (08:38):
Hey, producer Michael said, rock the world, so
yeah, just try it.
All right.
We'll talk about it when you gethome.
We've got to get an update onthat.
That is like I feel like nextepisode you and Jets are just
crunching P V J and C's.
Yeah.
One thing I realized though,like I was watching uh TikTok
(08:59):
the other day and people weredoing food reviews and they were
eating the food while they'retalking.
I cannot, it I can't stand it.
It drives me nuts.
I'm like, don't eat, don't eat.
I don't want to see you eat it.
I don't know, but it just hitme.
I was like, I just can't on.
I don't want to watch you eatfood.
So I don't want to watch that.
I don't know.
Maybe it could be jealousy deepdown in my heart.
(09:19):
It could be.
It could just be mad.
It'd just be like, I want to beeating that.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (09:23):
Going back to the hot dogs, I saw a reel just like
two days ago about a grilledcheese hot dog.
SPEAKER_01 (09:29):
Oh.
SPEAKER_03 (09:30):
Go what?
Cheese?
SPEAKER_01 (09:31):
The bun's grilled cheese?
What it's like?
Is the bun grilled?
Yes.
So what they do is they have totake the hot dog all day long.
SPEAKER_03 (09:37):
And they do basically do like cross-hatching
on the hot dogs so that it likeopens up and like splays out as
you cook it.
Yep.
Um, but then they don't take ahot dog bun, they take a hoagie
roll, butterfly it, and putbutter on the grill.
SPEAKER_01 (09:50):
How butter you get?
I know.
This is ridiculous.
SPEAKER_03 (09:52):
Then they put it down, so you're basically like
grilled cheesing the hoagieroll.
Then they put like, they hadlike probably a pound worth of
cheddar cheese on it, then putit back on the grill so that it
melted into the bread.
Then the well-grilled hot doggets put in the hoagie roll, and
then you eat that.
(10:13):
Like it can't be held as like aheart attack on a in one meal.
I like things like that.
SPEAKER_01 (10:18):
If I'm gonna die, I want to go out with a bank.
Yeah, that's right.
Enjoy it while you know it, youknow?
Why not?
Good grill.
You know what's funny aboutgrilled cheese?
My so I grew, I'm almost a five,and my mom cooked.
She was the cook, right?
The one and only thing I haveany recollection of my dad,
quote unquote, contributing inthe kitchen was he can make a
(10:38):
mean grilled cheese sandwich.
And so, like, I What do you useon the bread?
SPEAKER_02 (10:42):
Did you use butter or mayo?
SPEAKER_01 (10:44):
Butter.
SPEAKER_02 (10:45):
Butter on the bread.
You know, you can do you can domayo.
SPEAKER_01 (10:47):
Apparently, you can put you can brush your teeth in
mayo, you can like use it asmilk in your cereal.
My fault has like I said horizonis more used.
SPEAKER_02 (10:57):
The podcast is like a food podcast.
SPEAKER_01 (11:03):
Here's 45 uses for men, and it's like take notes,
listeners.
SPEAKER_02 (11:08):
So all the women are like, oh, please help us.
We're jets at.
We need jets right now.
SPEAKER_01 (11:16):
We did much better in episode one.
Sorry about that.
SPEAKER_02 (11:18):
But you put instead of the butter on the bread, you
put mayo in Winnie Grilla.
It's it actually.
Again, I'm open to you.
It's really good.
SPEAKER_01 (11:26):
No, no problems here.
I would do it.
SPEAKER_02 (11:28):
We have the we have the air on too.
So look at us.
Eric can be a little bit more.
Yeah.
It really is.
Have you guys heard that loudnoise?
That was our.
We're really being efficienttonight, y'all.
Yeah, we are.
We are off the radio.
All right, let's talk about arelationship.
See how that goes.
So in uh episode one or the onebefore this, not episode one,
(11:51):
but the episode before this, wewere talking about we actually
did talk about relationships.
Um and we were talking aboutmarriage, but you you made this
statement.
You said that um you've realizedthat in order for you to be the
most efficient, like you findwhat refuels you.
Yeah.
And when it refuels you, youthat that helps you kind of be
(12:13):
better at because we talk abouthere all the time.
If you want to be the best uhhusband or best um part of that
relationship, be the healthiestversion of it.
100%.
And so I firmly believe that.
So it's always the idea of like,okay, so find out what helps you
get there.
So for you, what is that?
How did you find that?
SPEAKER_04 (12:31):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (12:32):
And what does that look like on a on a weekly basis
with four kids and a wife and ajob?
SPEAKER_01 (12:38):
Yeah, exactly.
It's that that that chaotictrying to spin all the plates
and running hoping that theydon't they don't crash and burn.
Um, you know, I I think for me,um, and you kind of you tease
this out a little bit, but it'sjust that idea of like if you're
gonna lead others or or youknow, bring value to your
marriage and to your parenting,it's like you gotta be able to
lead yourself, right?
(12:59):
And so um everybody's different,but I think um kind of knowing
what the things are that likefill your bucket and making sure
that like I like to run, forinstance.
And so I'll use kind of like arunning analogy.
When you do a long race, thereare strategic aid stations along
the way.
SPEAKER_04 (13:19):
Yep.
SPEAKER_01 (13:19):
And one of the biggest mistakes that I've made
in running and in marriage iswhen you're feeling good and
you're kind of going at a goodclip, saying, Oh, I don't need
to stop at this aid station.
Right.
Right.
And then mile three, turns tomile six, turns to mile nine,
you're cramping and feelingreally bad for yourself and you
know, boo hoo, that sort ofthing.
And so I think the same thingcan happen is um when we get
(13:43):
caught up in the busyness of um,and it can be good intention,
right?
We're um we're spending so muchof our time trying to serve and
elevate others.
Our our wife, our kids, ourboss, our customers, our, you
know, our friends, all theserelationships where you're
pouring yourself out.
If if you're not taking a refuelstop, um, that can be really
(14:05):
detrimental, um leading toburnout, crashing and burning,
just like that that lack ofbandwidth you might have in your
relationships, where it's like,why am I so short with my wife?
Or why am I so short with mykids?
SPEAKER_04 (14:17):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:18):
And for me, it was kind of learning the hard way
that like I'm not doing a goodjob of like taking care of
myself and doing those thingsthat refuel me.
SPEAKER_02 (14:25):
So how do you how do you do those things on a weekly
basis?
Or do you are you still workingon it?
SPEAKER_01 (14:30):
Or I would say I'm still working on it, but I I no
longer view those things as niceto have.
These are neat to have.
SPEAKER_02 (14:37):
Gotcha.
SPEAKER_01 (14:38):
Um, and so for me, um I'm definitely an extrovert.
You know, having havingrelationships and investing in
relationships with people thatare not tied to my business and
revenue or not tied to like myobligations, that's important.
SPEAKER_02 (14:53):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (14:54):
Um, and so you know, maybe it's uh like I love being
outside, like you, like that'ssomething we like common love
that we share.
And so it's realizing that likeI have to create and protect
margin in my weekly schedule, mydaily schedule, my you know,
weekly rhythm, whatever term youwant to use.
SPEAKER_04 (15:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (15:12):
So that if Greg calls me and says, Hey man, I'm
gonna go hike this, you know, doyou want to go with me and do
that?
That it's not completelyimpossible and out of the
picture because I know thatthose are the things that fill
up my bucket and kind of make mecome alive.
SPEAKER_02 (15:24):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (15:25):
And if I'm doing those things, then I bring my
best to my marriage with mywife.
I bring my best to my parentingas a dad to my four kids, it
carries over to work and thatsort of thing.
And so what I've done justpractically speaking is making
sure that I'm like prioritizingand protecting time on my
calendar, have the margin, thatI'm being proactive and doing
(15:48):
those things that I'veidentified that help me to lower
that pressure or that is thatpressure release valve.
SPEAKER_04 (15:55):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (15:55):
Um and then also being aware of like kind of
pacing out those aid stations.
So it's it's great to say youdid it, but if it's been two
weeks, three weeks, four weekssince you've done something for
yourself that fills your bucket,that should be probably a
concern or something to be awareof.
Right.
Does that answer your question?
(16:16):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (16:16):
Do you um we always say probably the I we always say
I think Jess and I are both onthe same page and saying most I
guess uh fractures inrelationships happen around
either two things, communicationor unmet expectations.
Uh whether it be at work,whether it be in marriage,
whatever it is, usually that'swhen they fracture and things go
(16:37):
sideways.
So in those things you're sayingfor yourself.
So you've communicated that withyour wife, Brandy.
She knows those things aboutyou.
So when you go to say, Hey, Ineed some time to go hike, or I
need some time away.
Have y'all had conversationsaround that?
SPEAKER_01 (16:54):
Yeah.
And that's that is a greatpoint.
It's not enough for you to belike self-aware and say, like, I
need this, but you your spouseneeds to be aware of that too,
so that it's it doesn't feellike a burden for them to
support or carry the load forthe family for you to do those
things.
Yeah.
And so for Brandy, for instance,she is she she's the opposite of
(17:17):
me.
We we joked about that in theprevious podcast.
Yeah.
But she's very regimented, veryroutine.
She likes to have a plan, likesto follow that plan.
And so for her, also as amorning person, as an introvert,
having time every morning tostart her day off at the gym has
been really, really important.
And it's not about the gym, butit's about that time of being
(17:40):
able to say, I can start withsome quiet, being around some
people that like I know and Itrust and like you know, know me
on a deeper level.
I can, you know, put my bestfoot forward here, I can feel
good about myself because I'vedone a hard thing and kind of
conquered that to start my day.
And I've done it with routineover and over again.
Whereas like for me, running isa great like decompression.
(18:04):
But I don't care if it's six inthe morning, six at night, at
lunchtime, whatever, it's moreso I just need to get it done.
Right.
And so for us in our marriage,we figured out that like we need
to protect that time for her inthe morning.
But for me, there will be timeswhere I'm like, hey, hey, babe,
I I need to go for a run.
Um and she was like, Yeah, Igotcha type thing.
(18:24):
So again, to your question, it'sgreat if I know it, but if I
don't communicate it and wedon't have clear expectations
with one another, you're notwhere you want to be.
Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_02 (18:34):
Yeah, 100%.
I think that's an easy like Jessknows sometimes like uh my last
job got got to a point where itwas just extremely stressful.
Yeah.
And I was like, I just I need togo walk.
And she knows that that's mydecompression.
And she was she we have life360.
So I have my phone in my pocket,headphones on, and I'm just
(18:54):
listening to music and I'm justwalking.
When they say I know I'm threemiles from the house, I'm over
at the end.
She's like, Wow, you really didneed to walk.
Yeah, and she's like, she textsme, my phone goes off, where are
you going?
I was like, Oh, I need to go.
I was like, and look, she's youknow, watching me on Life 360 to
see, because it was 10 o'clockat night and I live in downtown
(19:15):
Gainesville.
So I mean it's not thatdangerous of a place, but um,
you know, it's just that we'vecommunicated and know, just hey,
I need some time to just I gottaget away and let my mind think,
and uh, this is what I have todo to kind of refocus a little
bit.
So um because I'm usually not analone guy, but there's sometimes
where I need to, it's just goodfor me to be alone.
SPEAKER_01 (19:35):
At times, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (19:36):
And I think if you're not helped, if you're not
okay being by yourself and beingquiet in that, like turn your
phone off sometimes just andjust be quiet.
It's it's a kind of a coolthing.
Like I got in this habit onetime where I would get in the
truck and I would turn the musicoff, my phone or nothing, just
sit in the truck and just it'sjust quiet.
(19:57):
It's actually really nicesometimes.
It's like, oh wow, look at that.
It doesn't happen much when yougot young kids.
No.
And so you're just like, well,you hear that?
unknown (20:07):
It's quiet.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (20:10):
It's been four years since you heard that sound.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, you know, it's it again,too, it's that whole finding
what you refuels you, findingwhat fills that tank for you so
that you can be not so this isthe problem with that though, is
that if we're not careful inmanaging that, it becomes every
(20:30):
and then we fight for that morethan we like we we lose sight
of, no, that's to refuel me soI'm a better husband, a better
dad, a better world, and then itjust becomes like just so much
of like, nope, I just want to godo that, that's it.
Right.
Every every spare minute I have,I'm gonna go do that.
And it's like, but why?
Yeah.
So it's it's interesting to findthat balance and figure it out
(20:53):
and know the reason behind whyyou're why you're doing it.
SPEAKER_01 (20:56):
So yeah, I I think the balance too is um and I look
I this is I I've been guilty ofthis too.
It's like, how do you how do youhave accountability and clear
expectations with your partnerabout what you need to kind of
be the healthiest version ofyourself, but not taking
advantage to the point whereyou're escaping.
SPEAKER_02 (21:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (21:20):
And I think something that we do a poor job
in just this point in time thatwe are in society is um I'm
trying to get on my soapbox toomuch with this, but like just
that idea of um we carry in ourpockets, all of our pockets, a
very quick and addictive escape.
And you said the importance ofquiet.
I don't care if you'reintroverted, extrovert, I you
(21:41):
know, purple, green, orange,yellow.
Like everyone needs that.
SPEAKER_02 (21:44):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (21:45):
Um, and I think what happens is a lot of times
instead of choosing the harderright, we settle for the easier
wrong.
Um, and the distraction isthere.
It's there, it's convenient,it's numbing, it's whatever.
And so we use that as an escapeas opposed to saying, like, with
(22:06):
the way that I'm wired, withwhat I need, what are the things
that truly like are an aidstation for me that refuel me,
not just numb me.
You know what I'm saying?
Because like if you're on a longrun, and marriage is a long run,
yeah.
When you get to an aid station,you need good fuel, you need
electrolytes, you need, youknow, water, obviously, that
(22:26):
sort of thing.
You might need to stretch,whatever.
Make sure your shoes are good,that sort of thing.
I think in marriage, like thesame thing.
Like, you need to have thoseregular routine, like check-ins,
those date nights.
We talked about like a kid-freetrip every once in a while.
If you can do it and afford it,or you know, you can do some of
the stuff on it.
It can be a staycation at home,like get the get the friends or
neighbors to watch the kids andhave time.
Yeah, excuse me.
SPEAKER_02 (22:46):
If you're saying I can't afford it, it's like you
can do stuff really, reallycheap, almost virtually free.
Like figure it out, be creative.
SPEAKER_01 (22:53):
Well, exactly.
And this kind of comes back tothe idea we talked about in the
last episode where your marriageis worthwhile.
Yeah.
But it's not you're not doing itwrong if it feels hard because
it's worthwhile and it's uphill.
You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_04 (23:08):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (23:09):
And so just like this long endurance race where
it's like it's tough, it'staxing, there are like, you
know, uphills or downhills,there's like all this other
stuff.
Like, it's a journey.
But make sure when you go intothose aid stations, you're going
at it in a smart way.
And you're actually refuelingand not just filling up on junk
to numb yourself.
Or like, oh hey, I got here, mylegs are killing me because I've
run 20 miles.
(23:29):
So I'm just gonna pop a bunch ofyou know, aspirin or whatever,
and just like try or whatever,and just like numb myself.
Yeah.
And um, so yeah, I I I I thinkwhat you do matters.
Communicating that to yourspouse matters, and making sure
too, we talked about in thefirst episode with like a
healthy relationship kind ofbeing that race to the back of
the line.
Right.
Make sure that you're seeing howlong has it has it been since my
(23:52):
wife has been to an aid station?
How long has it been since she'shad that time and proactively
doing the things so that notonly she's able to do it, but
she doesn't feel guilty fordoing it.
SPEAKER_02 (24:03):
Right.
unknown (24:04):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:05):
And I think when you got young kids, that second part
can be really hard.
Yes.
Because it's like, yeah, I needit, but like I can't leave you
with the kids.
It's like, no, you can and youneed to.
SPEAKER_02 (24:15):
Yeah.
Those kids are you're right.
Yeah.
It is so hard, especially whenlike for her right now in this
season of her life, she isstaying home, she's the primary,
like she's with them all thetime.
She has so hard.
SPEAKER_01 (24:28):
My opinion.
SPEAKER_02 (24:29):
So when she's not with them, she's feeling guilty
going, oh, we should do that.
We why don't we do that?
I need to and it's like, no, no,no, no, I got it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, well, we may t we maytear the house down, but we'll
be okay.
Yes.
You know, we'll figure it outwhen you get back.
SPEAKER_03 (24:41):
So, Mason, if I may interject, um you talk about
this earlier in the previousepisode.
You talk about calendarizing,you're talking about all these
things right now.
Do you ever set out a game plan?
Meaning, like when as a dude,like if I got a project I'm
gonna build or something I'mworking on, I'm gonna lay out a
(25:02):
game plan.
If I've got uh a new task at uhat work or when I'm going to a
new job, like I'm laying out agame plan of what my goals are,
what I'm going after, but mostimportantly, the steps that get
me there.
Do you ever do that with arelationship?
I know we talked about thecalendarizing.
Yeah, but uh one, is that aweird way of looking at that?
(25:24):
Because I know we're talkingabout a relationship.
You don't want to uh take awaythe relational part of that and
the personal side of it.
But are there ways that you goabout that so that you stay
focused, you stay on track, anddon't let kids' busyness take
you away from that?
SPEAKER_01 (25:39):
Yeah, that's such a good question, Michael.
Um I would say that's somethingI don't do very well, just
naturally, because I'm not aplanner.
And so if I could kind of goback in time, um I think I would
do a better job beingintentional about the direction
that I was trying to head in.
Because I think in probably thefirst, I don't know, let's say
(26:01):
five years of our marriage, um,there were probably it's kind of
I think my my progress or myjourney was more of like the
stove's hot, ouch, let me nottouch the stove again.
You know, and like going throughiterations of that of like, ooh,
wife not happy, me want to do abetter job, not make your wife
unhappy.
Um, and um, as guys, I think wenaturally like you talked about
(26:27):
this at the beginning of thisepisode, but just that idea of
like us being problem solvers,we're trying to problem solve
and knowing like, was this likea problem that you want solved,
or just like you want acompanion in that journey?
Right.
Um but we compartmentalizethings, and so we're like,
here's a problem.
So the solution needs to be inthis box.
Whereas I think our wivesoftentimes, and I'm generalizing
(26:47):
here, whoops, um, I'm definitelygeneralizing here, but there's a
lot of things that areinterconnected um with that.
And so the idea of like settinga plan in place is is evolving
for me.
And I think I have slowly, mywife would probably say very
slowly, um, gotten hopefullybetter at that, of being like
(27:09):
proactive and um, you know, thisis what I want my marriage to
look like, this is where I wantus to be, that sort of thing.
But I mean, I I took theprobably the dumb marriage
advice that all of us got thatwas like happy wife, happy life
when it started out.
And it was very just likesimple.
So like it would literally belike, is she happy?
(27:29):
I'm doing a good job.
Is she not happy?
I'm doing a bad job.
I need to change something.
Um, but yeah, I think um, andthat's not an excuse.
If you're a guy like me that'snot good at planning, that
doesn't mean we get a pass.
It just means it's it's gonna bemore of an uphill in that
process.
Um but I I think as you pursueyour wife, hopefully, you learn
(27:50):
some things.
And as guys, as you know, asdumb as we can be sometimes,
hopefully, as we go throughthose cycles, we learn also and
say, you know, I don't want totouch that stuff again.
Um, or I see I see how myactions or my short-sightedness
and not thinking about howthings are connected impacted my
wife.
And like I don't like that.
(28:11):
So I hope that answers yourquestion.
SPEAKER_02 (28:14):
Yeah.
I think it's yeah, that's that'sgood stuff.
That's good advice.
I think there's um it's like yousaid, there uh things are
interconnected.
Like I said with Jess today, wewent outside, we just it's a
beautiful, beautiful weatherright here in Gainesville,
Georgia, right now.
It's yeah, and so we're justsitting outside, we got some
music playing, and she's just uhdownloading work.
(28:36):
And there's a there's you know,she's just talking about
everything.
She goes, I'm sorry for wordvomiting, like right now.
And I'm like, No, no, no, it'sokay.
So I I want to know what's goingon in her life because if I
sense frustration or orshortness, I know that the
source of that it may not be me.
It's coming from somewhere else,yeah.
(28:57):
Maybe something else right now.
So it's almost listening tothose things and trying to to
figure it out.
It's not always a problem tosolve, but sometimes it's just
to listen and just to take itin.
Because I I can't solve thatissue for her, you know, and
she's like, I don't know what todo.
And I was like, just keep movingforward.
I don't I don't know, I don'thave any advice for that.
(29:17):
Like, I don't know.
There's nothing to do.
SPEAKER_01 (29:19):
Yeah.
Um that's really hard.
I I think that's really hard forus as dudes.
SPEAKER_02 (29:23):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (29:23):
Like, cause even just like you saying that, like
I like I'm uncomfortable beinglike, yeah, what like what do
you say in that?
And like, and and maybe it'sjust like, yeah, I'm sorry that
you're going through that.
It's just weird.
It's like we don't really havelike words or framework for
like, I don't at least have anidea or suggestion of like how
to solve that.
SPEAKER_02 (29:40):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (29:40):
Um, so yeah, just being aware that's a blind spot
for us, probably.
SPEAKER_02 (29:44):
Yeah.
And yeah, it goes back to us.
We're talking about warningsounds in the one before.
Like that's that, you know,that's it's maybe it's just a
low air pressure in the tire.
Just put some air in the tire.
You know, maybe it's not, ormaybe you're just like, I I
don't, I don't know what thatis.
I don't know.
I like I had uh Like I had oneof these lights pop on my truck
the other day and it was likefour the brake light came on and
(30:05):
the skid thing came on and someother light and I was like, I've
never seen that before.
What does that mean?
I had no idea.
So it was kind of, you know, itwas interesting, figured out
what it was.
So um, yeah, well, it's uhmarriage is not always a like,
oh, we'll just fix that.
That's easy.
Let's just do that.
Let's just do this.
No, it's a it's a process.
And you and as guys, we alwayssay, Well, we're just I'm just
(30:30):
not a good communicator, so youjust gotta have to figure it
out.
Like, and I'm like, that'sthat's a lame excuse and it
doesn't work.
Like become a bettercommunicator, yeah.
So figure it out.
SPEAKER_01 (30:40):
And you know, as as guys, I mean everybody's like
this.
Like, we have a just God createdneed for community.
And I think that's another thingwhere like we can mess up as
guys sometimes and just be like,you know, I'm a lone wolf and I
do this whole thing.
Like I've gotten a lot from likehaving guys that I can trust
(31:01):
that I know that like are kindof in my tribe, um, that I can
say, like, hey man, like I'm Ifumbled the ball in this.
And even sometimes it's justlike, oh yeah, me too.
And it's like, oh, okay, we allsuck.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, wait a minute.
SPEAKER_02 (31:15):
I'm not by myself.
SPEAKER_01 (31:17):
But but just like kind of talking through that and
having that community.
And so, like, we we didn't talkabout that much in the the
previous conversation, but likeI I deeply believe we weren't
meant to do this thing alone.
No, I agree.
And just how there can be acommunity, you know, kind of
that that micro of the family,also figuring out guys that
provide, you know, sound, soundadvice and not just like we're
(31:39):
all complaining about our wives,that's not good.
That's not helpful.
But like some sound advice andand encouragement, I think it's
been good for me.
SPEAKER_02 (31:46):
So we always like to have a a section on baggage
chain where we always just say,hey, we unpack.
Like we all got baggage.
Yep.
I don't care who you are, whereyou're at, where you come from,
you got baggage.
Uh, you either choose to unpackit or you choose to not.
Um, so many times as guys, wedon't unpack our bags and we
don't uh look at those things ofhow we act, how we do things,
(32:07):
how we because if we feel likefor some reason it makes us less
of a man, which is a ridiculousstatement.
Um, but at the same time, beingthe best version of yourself,
sometimes you gotta unpack thosethings.
So that being said, unpack.
I mean, you got uh you you gotfolks all over the place, all
over the United States.
I mean, heck all over the world,there's some people listening,
(32:30):
no matter where you're at.
You have an opportunity to jumpup on your soapbox and say the
one thing about marriage.
Hey, give me one, uh, maybe twothings.
It can be just one, uh, on yoursoapbox of hey, unpack here's
one thing you do this week, uh,marriage.
Like, this is it.
(32:50):
This is my this is my chance.
SPEAKER_01 (32:51):
Ma'am, what would it be?
That that's a big question.
Um it is, yes.
Yeah, that's quite the lead up.
Um I would say maybe just don'tbe afraid to like take the lead.
Like be the one that takes thatfirst step.
SPEAKER_02 (33:10):
So um I was trying to say unpack that a little bit,
that statement, if you don'tmind.
SPEAKER_01 (33:16):
I don't I don't think any of us are like blind
to the fact that there arealways gonna be some you know
light on the dashboard that'sflashing.
And we have a choice as far asdo we kind of ignore it or delay
our response to it, or do weaddress it?
And we all know this is as guys,and I think like a big thing,
(33:39):
like you know, we're gonna beuncomfortable, we're gonna like,
you know, embrace the suck andthat sort of thing.
It's like, well, put your moneywhere your mouth is.
Like this is this is a reallygood opportunity for us, I
think, to be the ones that takethe lead here and say, okay, I
see something that tells me thatthis may be a concern, or just I
don't know what this reallymeans.
Right.
(33:59):
Instead of just like, well,let's just let it play out.
Yeah, maybe it's I'm gonna takethe lead and I'm gonna schedule,
I'm gonna figure out ababysitter, whether it's, you
know, my mom, my mother-in-law,a friend, you know, high school
or whatever, to watch the kidsso that my wife and I can have
time and just spend some time tolike, you know, reconnect or
(34:20):
whatever like that.
Um, you know, maybe it's maybeit's time where it's like, man,
it's been a long time since I'velike taken a day off from work.
Um, so that we can do stuff,even if it's just running
errands and things that we haveto do, but doing it together.
Right.
So that we're not so independentships passing the night.
You know, I don't know.
But I would say that's that's apractical encouragement.
(34:40):
Um, you're not alone.
We're doing this together andwe're all trying to figure this
thing out.
Yeah.
But let's not wait till thelight, till all the tires blow
up, or that we have thatuncomfortable conversation where
it's like we've talked aboutthis, you know, 50 times, or I
can't believe you haven't seen,or like whatever.
It's like, let's kind of cut itoff at, you know, at the pass
(35:00):
and say, hey, Friday night we'regonna go out, or let's, you
know, I I went ahead, we don'thave anything planned next
Friday, but I took Friday offand we're gonna spend time, you
know, getting stuff done thatwe've you know meant to do and
and just kind of doing ittogether.
SPEAKER_04 (35:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (35:16):
Um nice.
So I don't know.
That's yeah, hit me with a hardquestion.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (35:20):
That's a good one.
Because I mean, if you if youand so many guys do this, if we
ignore the things and just saythe whole idea, well, let's see
how it plays out.
Yeah.
Um, you do that with your car.
If the temperature gauge uhmaxes out, engine lots come on,
you're just gonna be like, I seehow this plays out.
I can tell you how it's gonnaplay out.
The engine's gonna blow, yeah.
You're gonna lose your car.
It's gonna cost you a lot ofmoney to fix it.
SPEAKER_01 (35:42):
But that's the difference.
In the car, it costs you a lotof money to fix it.
SPEAKER_02 (35:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (35:46):
This is way more this is.
SPEAKER_02 (35:48):
Yeah, it's way more costly.
SPEAKER_01 (35:50):
We're guys like, let's throw money at the
problem.
Like you can't do that.
SPEAKER_02 (35:53):
Yeah, you can't throw enough money at this.
Yeah.
And so it's just like I I thinkthat's great advice, just to
basically take the first step.
SPEAKER_01 (36:00):
Like be the lead and take the first step, uh, no
matter how comfortable that maybe.
Or how small the step is.
Like yeah.
I I I really I'm a believer likesomething's better than nothing.
Right.
You know, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (36:10):
And so just yeah, and I agree with you.
I think it could be something assimple as let's go run errands
together.
Like it doesn't have to be awe're taking a weekend trip away
somewhere.
No, uh you know, it's like we'rejust we're just gonna start
small and see what happens.
SPEAKER_01 (36:24):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (36:24):
Um, yeah, just to chase her, pursue her.
Um, she's worth it.
So well, well, I feel like, Imean, we've we've had a lot of
fun.
We talked about a lot of reallyfun stuff.
This first, if you listen to thefirst this episode, you got a
lot of food things you need togo try.
SPEAKER_01 (36:41):
Um kids to marriage to mayonnaise and hot dogs.
SPEAKER_02 (36:45):
We name it, we covered it.
So yeah, this might be the lasttime guys get the mics without
the ladies going.
Yeah, but anyway, uh, thank youguys for for joining in and and
listening with us.
Um, if if your wife out thereand you listen to this, you're
like, oh Lord help us, uh sendit to your husband, let him
listen, uh, hopefully getsomething out of it.
SPEAKER_01 (37:06):
Um at least you're not as dumb as these guys.
Yeah.
Look at these two guys.
SPEAKER_02 (37:10):
You're doing great, honey.
Not a boy.
Yeah, you're doing great.
So, but thank you for joining uhbaggage claim tonight and
joining the table with us forsome fun conversation and
hopefully some helpfulconversation.
And Mason, thanks for takingtime out of your crazy uh life.
Just uh, I mean fun crazy, um,but just to come sit with us and
(37:31):
have some conversation tonight.
So thanks for having me.
I had a blast.
Awesome.
Thanks, man.
And uh talk to you guys later.
Have a good one.
Go dough.
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