September 5, 2025 • 38 mins
Do you know exactly where every dollar in your budget goes, but have no idea where your hours disappear to each day? Time—our most precious and finite resource—often slips through our fingers without the careful attention we give to our finances. In this heartfelt episode of Baggage Claim, Greg and Jess tackle the uncomfortable truth about how we mismanage our most valuable asset.
Drawing inspiration from the hit show "The Bear" and its mantra "every second counts," they explore how our perception of time evolves throughout life. That shocking realization when you hit a milestone birthday and suddenly understand the clock truly is ticking down isn't just a midlife crisis—it's an awakening to reality. But rather than becoming paralyzed by this awareness, Greg and Jess offer a framework for making it empowering.
The statistics they share are sobering: after your children move out, you'll likely spend only one more cumulative year with them for the rest of your life. Parents who pour everything into their kids' activities often look at each other like strangers once the nest empties—explaining why divorce rates spike during this transition. Through personal stories and practical advice, Greg and Jess demonstrate how to avoid becoming another statistic.
What would change if you mapped out your time the same way you track your spending? Would you be shocked to discover you and your spouse only have 45 quality minutes together each day? Small adjustments—putting away phones during car rides, making breakfast a meaningful ritual instead of a rushed chore—can reclaim precious moments for connection. The relationship between spouses forms the foundation of family life, yet it's often the most neglected when schedules get busy.
Take the challenge: sit down with your partner tonight and honestly assess where your time is going. Then start the conversation about how to invest it more wisely in what truly matters. Because unlike money, when time is gone, you can never earn more of it.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm Greg.
I hope you guys are ready tounpack and get into some good
conversations today.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast Baggage
Claim.
Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
What's up everybody, welcome to Baggage Claim.
If you're new here, thank youfor joining us.
If you're a regular visitor,thanks for joining back and
hanging out with us tonight.
We just want to ask you to just, kind of proverbially, sit back
, take a deep breath, relax.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I need to do that also.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Baggage Claim is a place where we're hoping to
create some conversations incommunity around relationships,
marriage, all those fun thingsof life that just happen, and so
, yeah, we're.
Do you need to take a deepbreath?
You feel distressed.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I'm going to need a lot of deep breaths.
It looks like you haven't beenbreathing.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
I don't think I was breathing when you were talking.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Jess is holding her breath, so we're still in back
to school mode, but I just wantto say right off the get-go,
though, before we go any further, go Dawgs.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Go Dawgs.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Great first week.
Go Dawgs.
I mean we didn't really playanybody, but man.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I mean we played like a little junior college, but it
was fun to see some of our boysstep up.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yeah, it's fun to see football back on TV.
And so it's fun to see footballback on TV.
And so it's that time of year.
Everything is right in theworld.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
The weather is cooling off, if you're in
Georgia in the southeast and I'ma different kind of girl.
I literally enjoy football.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Yeah, we joined the College Fantasy Football League.
Jess joined and we played eachother the first week and guess
who won?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
That'd be me.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
What was the score she?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
beat me by 10 points.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I beat him by 10 points.
You know why.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
It's the freaking Alabama defense I had.
I had picked Alabama defensebecause who wouldn't pick
defense for Alabama?
And I had.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Ohio State's defense.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
And we demolished.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Texas.
So you know, we quote unquotemy pretend defense who I own.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
My pretend defense never showed up.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Yours didn't even go there.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
That was a rough one.
Invite a direct message andjust be like bro.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I need to oh our candle's done.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Yeah, we're out, Candle's out, so all right.
So we're back in the swing ofthings.
We are Football's going.
Everything's right in the world.
Weather's great if you're inthe southeast.
If you're not somewhere else,at least there's football on TV.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
We're three weeks in now for school starting here
where we live Back in the wholeschedule of getting up in the
feels like middle of the nightto go to school and then to get
home, and it's just.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
And for you guys out there, and guys and girls who
are listening, who are probablygetting kids up and getting them
on the bus at 6 o'clock andyou're running to football
practices and cheerleadingpractices and gymnastics
practice and all the otherpractices that are out there Yep
, you know exactly what we'retalking about.
You're like bro, I am exhausted.
Yeah, so we're going to diginto something that just kind of
(03:07):
hit home for us.
I don't know, maybe it was lastyear or the year before.
We're just kind of—it wassomething we've always been
mindful of.
Yeah, but it just kind of—.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Especially when the kids were growing up and they
were in four different sports,four different directions, and
then I decided to go back toschool.
And and then I decided to goback to school, and it's just
always been a thing, and so it'ssomething that I guess it
probably came back around aftermost of the kids moved out.
There's only one that lives athome now, and even though we
(03:37):
don't have kids going 500different places for example,
today, when I leave for workat.20 in the morning, you choose
to get up with me so that wecan see each other for five
seconds before I go to work,because when I get home, I
immediately change clothes andgo to the gym for an hour and by
the time I get home it's 5.30,5.40.
(03:59):
We cook dinner and sit down andeat together, but it's kind of
hurried, and then we clean upand I go, take a shower and I go
to bed and then we go.
We do it all again tomorrow,and so we started realizing that
, even though it's just mainlyyou and I, we don't really spend
a lot of time together unlesswe really concentrate on that.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Right.
So we talked about intention.
We talk about relationships onhere.
We talk about time with aboutintention.
We talk about relationships onhere.
We talk about time with yourspouse, we talk about time with
your kids.
So there's this commondenominator, this thread that
runs through all of those things, and it's time, yeah, and so
time is that one thing.
It's crazy, we take it forgranted, but it's the one thing
we can't reproduce.
Yeah, it's the one thing wecan't get more of.
(04:43):
We're only given a certainallotted amount of that time
every day and you get to use.
It's crazy.
It's almost like a bank accountgets refilled every night you go
to bed.
It gets refilled with 24 hours.
Yeah, you get to spend those 24hours ever how you want to.
Yeah, you get to pick shoes,and so many times we just don't
even think about that, we justgo through our dude.
(05:05):
I'm just trying to get toastand breakfast in the kids'
mouths and get them out the door, like I'm not thinking about
time.
And so we want to ask youtonight just to kind of sit back
, maybe, have a differentperspective in thinking about
time and how we see it, how weuse it, what do we do with it
and just kind of break down someideas and some thoughts that we
(05:26):
have around that whole concept.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
So there was a show that we watched it was on Hulu
that our son Cody told us about,and it's called the Bear.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, great show it's a super good show.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
I mean it's got some language in it, but it's all
based in a commercial kitchen.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Based out of Chicago.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yeah, out of Chicago with professional chefs like
world-renowned in this showchefs.
And there's a lot of talk abouttime, especially in the last
couple of seasons, especiallywhat was it?
Season three?
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Well, yeah, but there was one episode where they had
a clock ticking and so the wholeepisode it was just it would go
back to this clock and thisclock's ticking, and it was
ticking and ticking, and everytime they would be in there they
would be like so-and-so, everysecond counts, and they'd be
like, yes, chef.
And then there was like thislittle sign that they had too.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
That said, every second counts.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
And just because this has been a reoccurring
conversation that we've had.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
it was like oh, wow, ok that's kind of a big deal,
because that one episode reallykept going back to that how
every second counts, yeah, whichis really weird for me because
I never really saw time that way.
It just always felt infinite tome.
And I think when I hit 50, Ihit the big 5-0, something
happened in me mentally thatmade me go wait a second.
(06:47):
The clock's winding down.
Like we're not, this isn't athere's not a never-ending clock
.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Like there's, it's counting down and, whether I
wanted to or not, it's countingdown and whether that's a
thought you've actually had,like an actual thought you've
had, like it's happening.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yeah, and it can be be like you live in one of those
camps.
You either look at that and youget completely depressed and
stuck on yourself, or you lookat it and go, ok, so how do I
manage every second or everyminute, every, every, every bit
of time that I have?
How do I manage that so that Iget the full potential out of
that time that I have?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yeah, you mentioned it a little bit ago when you
were opening up that time that Ihave yeah, you mentioned it a
little bit ago when we you wereopening up that time is kind of
like a bank account.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
It is.
It is like a bank account andyou you had to, there's one of
these things and we'll get intoit and unpack.
But you kind of got to look attime the same way.
You look at your, your budget,like if you don't know where
every penny goes.
I mean Ramsey would be like ifyou don't know where every penny
goes.
I mean Ramsey would be like ifyou don't know where every penny
goes, then you're broke and soit's like that.
You know money matters everypenny and you have the thing
where it counts where everysingle penny of your bank
(07:52):
account goes.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
And you know exactly where you're spending time or
your money.
Yeah, it's the same thing withminutes.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah, it's the exact same way, like you have this set
amount of time and you'respending it every single day.
So it's like look at your timethat way, to sit kind of in the
process.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
So as we go through this, you may be thinking
there's certain variables inyour day that you just can't,
you can't control, you can'tWell, you can Well in a sense,
like I know I go into work alittle early, but it's only like
15, 20 minutes early.
But like when I go to work Ihave to be there for a certain
amount of time.
So I can't really control that.
But after work, that's where myfree will comes in and what I
can do at that time.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
But you know what's interesting, though, the average
person and it may be differentfor a teacher, the average
person at work only spends threeand a half to four hours a day
actually being productive intheir job that they're hired to
do.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I can assure you that is not the case for a teacher.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
It's so interesting when you look at statistically,
like three and a half to fourhours of actual work, that
they're paid to do and thatthree to four hours is the top
of the top producers Right.
That's not.
Yeah, that's the guys that arekilling it.
That's the best of the best.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
That's insane yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Because every second of every minute of every day
that I am at work as a firstgrade teacher, something is
happening, there's a decisionbeing made, whether the kids are
with me or at lunch, or they'reat art or wherever, every
single, even while I'm trying toeat, I'm still making choices
and decisions and plans, andthere's not a wasted moment.
(09:23):
That's why a lot of times I gethome and I'm like I don't, I
don't have any words left for alittle while.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I need to, I need a minute so it's a, I mean, it's
one of those.
And then when you factor in theidea of a phone, um, man, like
I don't know if you get them, ifyou have an iPhone, if you have
an Android I don't think theydo this, but on your iPhone,
every Sunday, it sends you aweekly report of how long you've
done what, how long you've beenonline or playing games.
(09:49):
Sometimes that is incrediblyinsulting and shameful.
It is for me anyway.
I look at it and I'm like oh mygosh.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
You did recently go back into the game world.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
I did.
My name is Greg and I'maddicted to games on my phone.
You are.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I was so proud of you that you spent a lot of months
game free.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
That was like a year or more.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
I know.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Just no games.
And then I downloaded this gameand I had the thought this
weekend.
I was like this is dumb.
I don't even like that.
This is dumb, so it's gone.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
You're such a big boy I'm deleted it, I'm so proud.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
You just have to find a new game now yeah, see,
that's the problem.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
I'll find a game that I don't even care about it
should be stupid stacking blocksand I'll be like you know, oh,
I gotta get to level a thousandor something and I'm like what,
what?
It just doesn't.
But anyway.
So we spend our time and reallya rat race.
We spend our time doing allkind of crazy things, sometimes
useless things.
Sometimes we just want to vegout and watch TV.
The average person spends fourhours on their phone a day and I
(10:54):
know a lot of people I love itwhen we use it.
As adults, we say, oh, but Iwork on my phone.
Oh, it's for work, it's work.
And then you realize, if it isfor work, then just delete
Instagram and Facebook andTikTok off your phone.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
And then see how much time you spend there.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yeah, see how many times you pick your phone up.
Then it's like if your phone'sreally just email and phone
calls, that's all you need itfor.
Yeah, because I mean we're sosad.
The other night we were layingin bed and we're just scrolling
through TikToks just one rightafter the other.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
We were showing each other funny ones.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yeah, I mean I was intrigued about some dogs like
AI dogs, talking at a dog parkand I just had to like that's
what we're filling our liveswith.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
That was just last night and I was trying to tell
you goodnight because I neededto go to bed and you're like but
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,watch, these dogs are going to
talk.
I'm like okay, it's so funny.
It really actually was veryfunny.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
So it's like we have all these things but we don't
really stop to go man, where'smy time going?
Like, where's this going?
Because the clock is tickingand it is crazy for us because
can we agree maybe everyone inthis room, can we agree that
healthy relationships take time?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Well, yes, absolutely .
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Yeah.
So it's like okay, that's agiven, if you want a good
relationship, you've got to puttime and you can't just show up
once every now and then and feellike, oh yeah, well, you know,
hey, what's up, everything'sgreat.
Yeah, let's go.
Let's keep rolling on.
Those people who try to do thathave really unhealthy
relationships.
So if that's the case, then thebig question is okay, so how do
(12:35):
we do this Like?
How do we, like we realize timeis this variable that we can't
really control?
No, like we can control it, butwe're only given so much of it.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
And the idea that there's an expiration date.
It's kind of like yikes.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
You know what's interesting Like if you say you
go to say you pick up thecreamer, we have creamer in our
fridge, you pick up the creamer.
If the expiration date was lastweek, are you going to use that
?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I would smell it first.
You smell it, I would smell itfirst yes, see, I don't even
smell it, I just use it.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
I don't live with expiration dates.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
You don't Nah, you think it's a suggestion.
Yeah, it's definitely asuggestion.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Some things.
It is just a suggestion.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Well, like bread's easy when it's got green stuff
growing on it.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Yeah, that is easy.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
yes, milk is easy yes , milk is easy, like milk when
it's clumpy and it's clogged.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
The true form of bravery is testing milk that's
expired.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Yeah, but all of the people except for me that live
in this house are lactoseintolerant.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
I just don't like milk.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
So we don't have milk here ever.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Well, it's just the other day Erin Grace found some
ham turkey in the fridge and Idon't even remember buying
turkey, so it was like.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
I did because it was still in the summer, and that
tells you.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
And she's like will you smell this?
And as soon as she walked out,thomas goes that doesn't even
look good.
Whatever it is that looks badand it smelled.
I was like that's a weird smell, so it was a no go, but it's.
I mean everything, everythinghas a shelf life.
Uh, trends have a shelf life.
(14:07):
You know, tiktok used to bedancing.
Now it's not even that.
It used to be funny videos.
Now it's just something else.
It's like ai now yeah, andinstagram was at one time this
and now it's something different.
It's like everything changesand everything has a shelf life
and it moves to some it moves onto the next step.
That's just the way life works.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Well, speaking of moving on to the next step, like
you told me something not toolong ago about once your kids
move out of your home, whateverthe age may be.
Sometimes it's for college orjust adulting.
The the amount of time.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Talk about that when you were oh yeah, I, I found
this statistic and it reallyblew my mind so I had to dig
into it a little bit just to tryto, and then I tried to do it
with us and our kids.
Like um, it says, you willspend the first 18 years of the
kid's life if, if they're livingat home, you spend 18 years up
until the age of 18.
(15:06):
From the time they move out,the average person will only
spend one more year cumulativelywith that kid the rest of their
life.
So which sounds insane.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Yeah, at first we were like there's no way, that's
real.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
But then we started sitting down thinking about how
much time have we spent in thelast year with Callie and
Charles.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Who live out of state .
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Yeah, who live in Pensacola.
It's like how much time have wespent with Cody?
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Who I mean?
It's just, it's just crazy.
When you start thinking aboutit, you're adding up your life.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Even the one kid that lives here.
I mean that fits in thatscenario too.
We just have one child andThomas and Miranda with our
granddaughter Lucy, and I knowthat Lucy is the anchor.
They're the ones we spend themost time with, but that's an
intentional kind of thing,because we want to see our
granddaughter every time we can.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Right.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
However, there'll be times where that's not the case
too, and that was such a scarythought of how is that real?
Yeah, like you said, once westarted kind of thinking about
it, it was like actually, no,that's real, that is so sad.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
It really is.
I mean the whole idea.
It came about too when I wasreading another study of a guy.
He was talking about time andtaking advantage of your
opportunities and he's like asan adult, he was like I was
going to see my dad who wasn'tfeeling very well, and he said I
was going to see my dad whowasn't feeling very well, and he
said I spent some time with himduring the holidays.
(16:39):
He said I figured it out.
I'll go and see him at leastfour times a year.
And he's like my dad wasgetting up there in age and he's
like he's probably going tolive another eight to 10 years.
And he's like, say, he lives 10years at best and he's like
four times I'm only that's theonly amount of time that I'm
going to see him.
So it's like you don't havethat many.
Because you may think, hey, youwould say, oh, I have 18
(17:00):
summers with my kids before theymove out.
That's best case scenario.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah, that's if you don't have to share them with
you know, another parent, or ifthey don't have, like, all of
ours have always, always hadjobs and all of ours have always
done extracurricular activities.
So it's like no, you whittlethat down and it keeps whittling
down, and whittling down, andwhittling down, until it's like
nothing.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Well, that's why I say know your numbers, like,
know your time, like.
We want to talk about this ideaof like, no, no, no, they live
in the same house with me and belike okay, then tell me how
much time you spend with themeach day out of the day.
And it may be like, oh, okay,45 minutes.
So in a quimic of like youspend seven hours over a week
with them.
Right, you spend that at oneday of work.
(17:44):
So it's like you start lookingat it in that sense it's like,
no, how much like.
And then it makes makes you, itmakes you start to look at the
whole idea is like you have ashelf life with your family, in
the sense like there's a timewhen seasons change, they move
out things, they're different.
Yes, um, someone may get sick,they may not.
Um, do you have?
Speaker 3 (18:06):
something.
Yeah, no, I was just gonna sayit comes along the same sense,
though.
We put that time into workbecause we know what we get out
of it right.
We put that time into workbecause we know what we get out
of it Right.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
We put that time into work because we're like oh well
, either one, I have to do it,there's direct results or two
there's an expectation from aboss or something like that,
right?
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Or even if you own your own company, you know, if I
don't do this, there is noreturn, right?
You know?
Yep, but how often do we gothrough life and we don't treat
our relationships the same way?
Yeah, either one.
We've never thought of it thatway, cause, I mean, we budget
money, we budget work, we workthrough, we do all these things,
(18:44):
but we don't consider our timewith family and our time with
friends or time with a spousethe same way.
Then, when things fall apart,we're like what happened?
Where did we miss it?
You've not been investing in it.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Right, yeah, because most of the time, you could
probably look back at yourcalendar, yeah, and be like,
okay, let's talk about what thislast two months have looked
like.
How much time have you investedin this or that you know?
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Well, when you're honest, like when you're really,
really honest with yourselvesand you can sit down and it
takes a third party, likesomebody sitting down with you,
and go, okay, tell me yourweekly schedule, tell me what
you do, and for them to heartheir perspective, and you may
be thinking well, everybody'slike this or this is the way it
is, like, like, it's not, it'snot always that way, like, and
(19:27):
so it's so true.
Like when families are growingup, it's so easy and parents do
this all the time and it'sreally.
It's really really sad to seebecause parents start attaching
so much time to what their kidsare doing, because they want to
invest in their kids and theysay the idea of I want my kid to
have better than what I did.
So that's sometimes when wegive so much time to work,
(19:47):
because I want to make moremoney, I want them to have it
better than I did.
I want them to not have to workas hard as I did to get here.
I get that, but in a sense, too,you became who you were because
you had to do what you had todo to get there.
So it's almost like are youhelping your kids by doing that?
But in the same sense, you andit's just a question, I'm not,
don't roast me whether I'm wrong.
(20:08):
I mean, for some it may beright, for some it may be wrong,
but the idea is like what'syour goal?
Like, what's your goal for yourkids?
What's your goal for yourfamily?
Yeah, like, what is that goingto be?
Because you have these parentswho get kids so involved in
sports and they get their livesare so, and so everything
evolves around.
We're doing everything aroundthat.
Every weekend, every spareminute we have, we're doing
(20:31):
those activities.
Well, then, all of a sudden,one day, sports are done, they
graduated school and they'relike well, I'm not, I don't want
to play sports at collegiatelevel, or I'm not, I can't play
sports at collegiate level.
And then, all of a sudden, youhave parents who look at each
other and they don't even knowwho each other are, because
they've been on, they've beenchasing this dream with their
kids forever.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Yeah, and They've been chasing this dream with
their kids forever.
Yeah, and it's that whole thingof time with kids and time
invested in what the kids wantto do and letting even kids'
schedule kind of dictate.
Your life is not ever going topay off in the end if you're not
careful to make sure that itdoesn't outweigh time invested
(21:11):
in your marriage, because, likeyou've always said, the kids are
going to leave and it's goingto be me and you.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Yeah, well, I mean, we told our kids many times it's
like you guys are here becausewe fell in love with each other
and we are married.
Yeah, like if we weren'tmarried we wouldn't be a family
and y'all wouldn't be here.
Yeah, so the idea that we'reall in this together, like I'm
investing in her so that I caninvest in you guys, and so I
think it's completely okay to toto leave kids at home and go on
(21:40):
a date sometimes.
I think it's okay to leave kids, if you can, and go on vacation
, go away for a few days, likeI'm not saying you have to do
that all the time.
There's times where it's needed.
You need to reinvest, you haveto.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
I go back back to, though you have to look at time
in a very I mean, it is what itis like you're spending it.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
The way you're spending so much, right, and
it's like you can.
You can make excuses as much asyou want.
You'll be like well, I sleepfor eight hours.
Yeah, okay, you can sleep sixhours if you want and save two
more hours to do something else,if you want.
I mean that's.
I mean you can like if you'relike.
I don't.
Most of the time I don't sleepeight hours.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
I was just going to say sleep is not like high on
the priority list for you.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
No, like it's really not and it's weird, but
sometimes I really enjoy.
Like I crawl into bed this weekbecause I've been gone on a
golf trip this weekend, and Icrawl back this week because
I've been gone on a golf tripthis weekend and I crawled back
in our bed and I was like, oh mygosh, it feels so good, it just
feels good to be in your bedback home, but it's like I don't
know Sleeping is.
(22:43):
I don't sleep.
Well, I think.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
But back to the whole kid and time thing Like what's
sad and true because I meanstatistics show it but after you
just pour your whole life andall this time and energy into
what the kids are doing and thenyou forget about your spouse in
the meantime I mean once thekids grow up or get to a certain
(23:08):
age or even leave the home,that's when a lot of divorces
happen.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
It's because you've forgotten what it means to
actually invest in your marriage.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Of that time I mean.
Any good relationship takestime.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
And I'm not saying sports and extracurriculars are
not called for.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Our kids did all the things, yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
We carried, like Thomas, mountain was mountain
biking, but we carried ourentire family.
Some of them did not like it,but we'd have to go stay off for
a weekend.
We'd get a hotel room All overthe state of Georgia and we
would pack in a hotel room forthat weekend and we would
mountain bike.
But we all did it together andit was fun together, it just.
(23:49):
But then I look at it and I waslike Thomas learned a lot and I
think it was good for him.
But it was a couple weeks ago.
His bike was sitting out,propped up on a building.
Some family members weregetting in a mountain bike and I
was like, hey, you guys wantThomas' old bike.
And he's like, really, I mean,we put shocks on it, we put new
wheels on it.
We dumped a lot of time andenergy.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
All it needed was a little tune-up and some cleaning
.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
I was like you, just need some love and some cleaning
and a little tune up and you'llbe good to go.
But it's like it reminds me oflike we were so invested into
that and it was financial, a bigfinancial investment, not just
time and it wound up with beinga bike that was propped up
against the building.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
That's so true.
Outside and this was like thatwas a lot of years of our life
and a lot of time for the otherkids too.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
It was great because we built great relationships
doing it, had a blast doing it.
I love the people we were doingit with.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
And the rest of our kids.
They had a blast doing it, justbecause we made sure.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
But we tried to do that as a family, even though
that was something we were doing.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Directly for Thomas.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
And I think that's the intentionality behind time.
It's like be intentional, knowthat every second counts.
While I'm cooking breakfast, Iremember, uh, in the mornings, I
was in charge of breakfast atour house, and so I always
taught breakfast as a hypesession, like I'm gonna hype
everybody up.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
It was a party in the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Yeah, I was like they come in, we'd have music
playing.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
I was getting ready and fixing the girl's hair.
They would, you and the boyswould have it going in there
already.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Yeah, just loud, like having a good time, just like,
hey, what are we talking abouttoday?
Let's talk about somethingtoday.
What's going on?
Like just get excited.
We got the day ahead of us andI used to call it the Festival
of Learning.
So I was like we're about to goto the Festival of Learning, so
let's get ready.
And so we had a great time andI always remember like for me
that was very intentional withthat time to go.
(25:35):
I'm going to be direct and getsome fun, good time with my kids
in the morning, because I knowin the afternoons and I remember
I always remember Cody walkingin and nobody was really a
morning person really.
Cody would entertain mesometimes, but he is less of a
morning person.
Now Callie got better.
She did.
It took her a morning personreally.
Cody would entertain mesometimes, but he is less of a
morning person.
Now Callie got better.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
She did.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
It took her a little while, but she was good.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Thomas and Nair never got on the morning train?
Speaker 1 (26:00):
No, thomas was like the walking dead in our kitchen,
but Cody came walking in andwas like I was like.
So what are we talking aboutthis morning at breakfast?
And Cody's like I'd like todiscuss monotheism versus the
like and like I'd like todiscuss polytheism.
Yeah, polytheism versusmonotheism.
I remember I was going.
He was like really yes and I waslike, hey, here we go.
(26:27):
It was, uh, it's like beingintentional about just even
breakfast, being intentionalabout going in, like if I was
off or I was able to, I tried togo pick them up from school.
I was trying to be and I'm notsaying I had it all figured out
and it's perfect, because it'snot.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
We are not like trying to say, oh, we have all
the answers.
Here's the thing, or we knowexactly what you need to do to
fix this or that.
Or we're the experts, we arenot.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
No, and that's why I'm saying this is not one of
those episodes where you'regoing to be like, okay, give me
four things to do and I'm goingto go do those.
This is a.
I'm going to give you one thingto start a question.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Yeah, it's going to be different for everyone.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Right a thousand percent.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
All we want you to do is just start talking about it.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Yeah, have the conversation with your wife or
your husband and say can we talkabout the time and how we spend
it?
We talk about our budget and wetalk about that.
Let's talk about our time andhow we spend it.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Going back to.
We're not saying we knoweverything, but, like our
definition or our answer to thetime question, it's changed over
a lot of years.
Yeah, and we had to revisit itbecause it changed.
I mean, we've been together 13years now and this change, we've
had different phases, We've haddifferent seasons of life.
(27:43):
I mean it's just there's a lotof change.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Yeah, I mean date dates used to be Starbucks
before we went grocery shoppingat Kroger, and that was it.
Yeah, now it's like we come tothe realization.
When I come home, I'm like Ihave you for 45 minutes before I
lose you.
So when we get home, it's likedo you want a glass of wine?
Do you want to sit down?
Can we hear some things I wantto talk about?
Yeah, let's go sit outsidewhere it's fun and hear some
(28:08):
things I want to talk about.
And here's some things I wantto talk about, right Like, and
we usually just roll throughsome of the day.
It's not that you had to be soprogrammed, but the thing is is
if I'm not intentional inwatching that time to make sure
it goes, there won't?
Speaker 2 (28:22):
be any.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Yeah, it's just going to be gone.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
And so the whole idea is to go just, I want to pitch
the idea and get you to thinkyeah, there's a clock ticking
right now, like it's beenticking since we started this
episode and we're probably 28minutes into this and in that 28
minutes there's a lot of lifethat's happened.
Yeah, a lot of crazy things inthe world have happened, and it
(28:45):
just not to be morbid, but hey,the clock's running down, it is.
So it's like what are we goingto do with the time we have?
Speaker 2 (28:52):
That's what I want to ask.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Let's unpack it, okay .
Speaker 2 (28:58):
I'm not good at unpacking right now, so I'm
going to try my best, Likeliterally in life right now.
You didn't unpack from the tripyet that you just got back from
.
Okay.
I did get back Literally.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
I did.
You have not unpacked.
No, I got back Monday.
It's Tuesday.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
Today's just Tuesday.
Yeah, it's Tuesday, you stillgot time.
Yeah, it's not bad, you stillgot time.
You got at least like 48 hoursbefore it starts getting weird,
like it gets weird.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Is there a time limit on when it's weird?
Speaker 2 (29:23):
It would only be weird if like Is it a?
Speaker 1 (29:25):
week from now.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Well maybe.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Hey, I packed that this weekend, though I took it
out of my bag for you.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
What.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
That pullover you have on.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Oh what I'm wearing.
Yes, I appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
But my bag, literally , is sitting on the bathroom
counter.
I unzipped it and took thetoothpaste and my toothbrush out
.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
It would be more weird if I needed stuff from
what you have not unpacked fromyour bag, like I don't care, you
do you?
Speaker 1 (29:58):
That's your side of the bathroom I don't care, I
literally don't care.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Yeah, so pile up all your crap so figuratively not
figuratively, but literally.
I'm not great at unpackingsometimes, and so for unpacking,
let's refer back just realquick to like just kind of think
of your time as how you, youbudget your money.
Um, hopefully, but and so ifyeah, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
No I was gonna say this is the unfun part.
Yeah, when you sit down andliterally like sketch out and
maybe do this at night, at theend of the night go.
Okay, what do we do?
Like write out your day.
You don't have to be, you don'thave to be specific.
The more specific you are, thebetter it is.
But don't be weird about it,yeah don't be like three minutes
and 45 seconds doing this orfour minutes and four, but no
(30:37):
sort of journal.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Out your day, it gives you a really good look of
okay, wow, because I mean one ofthe first times we talked about
after I come home from schooland I want to go to the gym and
this and that and the other, andthe evening unfolds.
Whenever we talked about it,finally, I was like okay, like
you said, we get literally likea good 45 minutes together each
day.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Of like actual time, and that's if you know the
grandbaby's not here, or if wedon't have a house full of
friends, or if this and that andthe other yeah.
And so I was like, okay, that'sactually very eye opening.
So I which made me be even moremindful of like I'm going to
get everything at work done,that I need to do at work and
leave it at work I don't bringlike anymore.
(31:22):
I did in the beginning when Ifirst became a teacher but, like
long story short, I make surethat I don't bring stuff home
that takes even more time fromyou when I get to literally be
with you.
But that took a really good,like really hard look of how are
we spending our time.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Now husbands out there, this is not just a wife.
This is not just a wifeexercise.
This is a wife and husbandtogether exercise.
Sit down and do this.
This gives you a reason tospend some time together.
Sit down and do it togetherWherever you're at at home,
whatever, at what time of day.
Once you get the kids down,it's quiet for a minute.
Yeah, map this.
This is very, very importantthat you figure out where your
(32:01):
time is going now, yeah, andthen, once you do that, you
start looking for the areaswhere you can improve.
Yeah, like, where can wemaximize that time?
Is it riding with the kids?
Maybe I'm riding with and we'rein the car.
Maybe, as a spouse, you don'tlook at Instagram.
You say I'm going to put myphone in the cup holder.
That's what.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
I was going to say we don't have all the answers, but
I can give you one bigsuggestion, and you're the one
that brought this to myattention, and I got really
sassy with you about it for thefirst couple of months because I
didn't want—you're not the bossof me, but—i mean you are.
But it's okay, don't say thatYou're the leader of our family.
But you brought something in mymind.
(32:38):
I'm like I'm sitting still, Idon't have to do anything, but
just sit here and I can look atsocial media.
Meanwhile you're driving us towherever it was and you were
(33:02):
thinking, oh, I am sitting hereand I have time with just her,
because most of the time, if thekids were with us, they were
not paying attention to what wewere doing.
And so you said you know, canyou please work on that habit of
not being on your?
Speaker 1 (33:17):
phone.
No, I think the first way Istarted is we were getting there
and I was like it has been sofun spending time with you and
your phone on this trip.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
I was trying to say it nicer.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
And you just looked at me.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
I was kind of ticked but I was going to say nicer and
you just looked at me, I waskind of ticked but I was just
like that's why I got sassyabout it.
But I was trying to be verynice about it just then and
paint a prettier picture.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
I'm just trying to be real.
Okay, fine, I was going to bereal.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Yeah, you were not nice about it the first time you
said it.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
I wasn't because I was ticked off.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
I'm like I'm driving, for me to drive.
It's true.
Those are both true statements.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
So here's where we're at.
So, again, this is not a we'regoing to unpack and we're going
to give you answers.
The tool I'm going to give youand the thing I'm going to say
that I really, really want youguys to do as a couple is,
whether you've been married forfive minutes or 15 years, map
out where your time's going andhave a conversation.
(34:10):
Yeah, start the conversationaround this.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
And don't be sassy how we spend our time.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
And try not to make passive-aggressive, sassy
comments.
I mean, I'm the king of that,but I'm trying not to be.
So that's it.
That's kind of in a nutshell,because the clock is ticking,
and it is ticking right now, andso, um, wherever you're at,
maybe wherever you get to, um,whatever you're doing maybe not
(34:39):
not while you're driving, butjust text your significant other
and just say I love you and Iwant to have a conversation
about our time, how do we spendour time and then just you can
start start this conversation,that simple Yep, and then just
see where it goes.
So we're going to do somethingreally, really fun, real quick,
because we're supposed to do itat the beginning but we don't do
it at the end.
We're going to do a it's justrandom questions Question time,
(35:02):
just question time.
Fun kind fan, a brilliantlydumb bob does sports.
Those guys, bobby fairways, uh,joy, coca, all those guys I
mean I love fat bread, all thoseguys love them.
Um, and so they do like buy andsell.
They do a bunch of fun stuff onthe podcast.
But it made me think I was likewe need something fun on our
podcast.
So we're just gonna do randomquestion time.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
So I forgot what we said earlier, so here's mine no,
the random.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Okay, you go ahead, and then I'll remember the
random question.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
Tacos hard shell or soft shell?
Speaker 3 (35:33):
Oh soft.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Every time, no matter what.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
Every time, no matter what.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Unless it's a cheesy cookie to crunch from Taco Bell.
Then it's both Flour over corn.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
Okay, I mean, I'll eat corn, but flour is where
it's at Mine is based on themeat that's inside of it,
because if it's like shreddedchicken, it's always more like
there's more sauce, and so itneeds a crunchy taco shell
because it bleeds through thesoft one.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
It just runs out the ends.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Yeah, and it breaks it and falls apart everywhere.
Ground beef is either or.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
No, I'm crunchy all the way, every time, every
single time.
I like the crunch.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
And I like eating like you.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Take one bite off the back corner but you have to go
to the other side.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
No, then you get off the top and then you go back to
the bottom.
You work your way up and backand forth, so it's top, bottom,
top, bottom, top, bottom.
Speaker 3 (36:29):
But then you get uneven bites.
You do Because like the topbites, like nothing but lettuce.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
The top you get a lot of lettuce and cheese and other
stuff, and then on the bottomyou go back to just straight
meat and taco and you go back upto some lettuce and so you mix
it all in there together.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
So my question is are you a violent, loud throw-upper
when you throw up, or are youreally quiet when you puke?
Speaker 2 (36:54):
Wow, I'm quiet and I cry every time.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Like emotionally cry.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Like your eyes don't water like my eyes don't water,
it's not like your eyes justwater up.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
No, no, no.
It hurts my feelings.
I don't throw up very often.
It makes me sad.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
It hurts your feelings.
It does.
Your feelings are hurting,you're throwing up, it makes me
sad because it doesn't happen.
Very often I cry every timeyour own body hurt your own
feelings.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
Yes, it makes me sad.
I am extremely loud, like outof the nose out of the oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
I can't help it.
It's like you, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
It starts and feels like in my toes.
It's like your body'scompulsing all that.
It's like my ribs hurt, mystomach hurts.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
It's like a— but you do, you yell.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
I have literally tried to not be loud and it's
like impossible to not be loud.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
I've tried to not cry , but it's not possible.
I cry every time.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
That's so new.
I've never heard of anybody.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
It hurts my heart.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Dude, after you throw up and you get that cold
washcloth and you wipe your faceoff.
That's like beautiful, it's sorefreshing.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
We're talking about the nap afterwards, like if
you're going to sleep Anyway,okay.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
I was just trying to wrap y'all up.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
What a beautiful way for a random conversation or
just question time, questiontime.
So thanks for joining us.
Make sure to like, subscribe,share the podcast.
Oh my, but thanks for joiningus tonight.
Love you guys.
Anything to say before we go?
Speaker 2 (38:21):
No, sorry, we talked about throw up.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
All right, go Dawgs, see you later.
Bye, bye, see you later.
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm Greg.
I hope you guys are ready tounpack and get into some good
conversations today.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast Baggage
Claim.
Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
What's up everybody, welcome to Baggage Claim.
If you're new here, thank youfor joining us.
If you're a regular visitor,thanks for joining back and
hanging out with us tonight.
We just want to ask you to just, kind of proverbially, sit back
, take a deep breath, relax.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I need to do that also.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Baggage Claim is a place where we're hoping to
create some conversations incommunity around relationships,
marriage, all those fun thingsof life that just happen, and so
, yeah, we're.
Do you need to take a deepbreath?
You feel distressed.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I'm going to need a lot of deep breaths.
It looks like you haven't beenbreathing.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
I don't think I was breathing when you were talking.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Jess is holding her breath, so we're still in back
to school mode, but I just wantto say right off the get-go,
though, before we go any further, go Dawgs.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Go Dawgs.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Great first week.
Go Dawgs.
I mean we didn't really playanybody, but man.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I mean we played like a little junior college, but it
was fun to see some of our boysstep up.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yeah, it's fun to see football back on TV.
And so it's fun to see footballback on TV.
And so it's that time of year.
Everything is right in theworld.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
The weather is cooling off, if you're in
Georgia in the southeast and I'ma different kind of girl.
I literally enjoy football.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Yeah, we joined the College Fantasy Football League.
Jess joined and we played eachother the first week and guess
who won?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
That'd be me.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
What was the score she?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
beat me by 10 points.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I beat him by 10 points.
You know why.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
It's the freaking Alabama defense I had.
I had picked Alabama defensebecause who wouldn't pick
defense for Alabama?
And I had.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Ohio State's defense.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
And we demolished.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Texas.
So you know, we quote unquotemy pretend defense who I own.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
My pretend defense never showed up.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Yours didn't even go there.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
That was a rough one.
Invite a direct message andjust be like bro.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I need to oh our candle's done.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Yeah, we're out, Candle's out, so all right.
So we're back in the swing ofthings.
We are Football's going.
Everything's right in the world.
Weather's great if you're inthe southeast.
If you're not somewhere else,at least there's football on TV.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
We're three weeks in now for school starting here
where we live Back in the wholeschedule of getting up in the
feels like middle of the nightto go to school and then to get
home, and it's just.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
And for you guys out there, and guys and girls who
are listening, who are probablygetting kids up and getting them
on the bus at 6 o'clock andyou're running to football
practices and cheerleadingpractices and gymnastics
practice and all the otherpractices that are out there Yep
, you know exactly what we'retalking about.
You're like bro, I am exhausted.
Yeah, so we're going to diginto something that just kind of
(03:07):
hit home for us.
I don't know, maybe it was lastyear or the year before.
We're just kind of—it wassomething we've always been
mindful of.
Yeah, but it just kind of—.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Especially when the kids were growing up and they
were in four different sports,four different directions, and
then I decided to go back toschool.
And and then I decided to goback to school, and it's just
always been a thing, and so it'ssomething that I guess it
probably came back around aftermost of the kids moved out.
There's only one that lives athome now, and even though we
(03:37):
don't have kids going 500different places for example,
today, when I leave for workat.20 in the morning, you choose
to get up with me so that wecan see each other for five
seconds before I go to work,because when I get home, I
immediately change clothes andgo to the gym for an hour and by
the time I get home it's 5.30,5.40.
(03:59):
We cook dinner and sit down andeat together, but it's kind of
hurried, and then we clean upand I go, take a shower and I go
to bed and then we go.
We do it all again tomorrow,and so we started realizing that
, even though it's just mainlyyou and I, we don't really spend
a lot of time together unlesswe really concentrate on that.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Right.
So we talked about intention.
We talk about relationships onhere.
We talk about time with aboutintention.
We talk about relationships onhere.
We talk about time with yourspouse, we talk about time with
your kids.
So there's this commondenominator, this thread that
runs through all of those things, and it's time, yeah, and so
time is that one thing.
It's crazy, we take it forgranted, but it's the one thing
we can't reproduce.
Yeah, it's the one thing wecan't get more of.
(04:43):
We're only given a certainallotted amount of that time
every day and you get to use.
It's crazy.
It's almost like a bank accountgets refilled every night you go
to bed.
It gets refilled with 24 hours.
Yeah, you get to spend those 24hours ever how you want to.
Yeah, you get to pick shoes,and so many times we just don't
even think about that, we justgo through our dude.
(05:05):
I'm just trying to get toastand breakfast in the kids'
mouths and get them out the door, like I'm not thinking about
time.
And so we want to ask youtonight just to kind of sit back
, maybe, have a differentperspective in thinking about
time and how we see it, how weuse it, what do we do with it
and just kind of break down someideas and some thoughts that we
(05:26):
have around that whole concept.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
So there was a show that we watched it was on Hulu
that our son Cody told us about,and it's called the Bear.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, great show it's a super good show.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
I mean it's got some language in it, but it's all
based in a commercial kitchen.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Based out of Chicago.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yeah, out of Chicago with professional chefs like
world-renowned in this showchefs.
And there's a lot of talk abouttime, especially in the last
couple of seasons, especiallywhat was it?
Season three?
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Well, yeah, but there was one episode where they had
a clock ticking and so the wholeepisode it was just it would go
back to this clock and thisclock's ticking, and it was
ticking and ticking, and everytime they would be in there they
would be like so-and-so, everysecond counts, and they'd be
like, yes, chef.
And then there was like thislittle sign that they had too.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
That said, every second counts.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
And just because this has been a reoccurring
conversation that we've had.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
it was like oh, wow, ok that's kind of a big deal,
because that one episode reallykept going back to that how
every second counts, yeah, whichis really weird for me because
I never really saw time that way.
It just always felt infinite tome.
And I think when I hit 50, Ihit the big 5-0, something
happened in me mentally thatmade me go wait a second.
(06:47):
The clock's winding down.
Like we're not, this isn't athere's not a never-ending clock
.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Like there's, it's counting down and, whether I
wanted to or not, it's countingdown and whether that's a
thought you've actually had,like an actual thought you've
had, like it's happening.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yeah, and it can be be like you live in one of those
camps.
You either look at that and youget completely depressed and
stuck on yourself, or you lookat it and go, ok, so how do I
manage every second or everyminute, every, every, every bit
of time that I have?
How do I manage that so that Iget the full potential out of
that time that I have?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yeah, you mentioned it a little bit ago when you
were opening up that time that Ihave yeah, you mentioned it a
little bit ago when we you wereopening up that time is kind of
like a bank account.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
It is.
It is like a bank account andyou you had to, there's one of
these things and we'll get intoit and unpack.
But you kind of got to look attime the same way.
You look at your, your budget,like if you don't know where
every penny goes.
I mean Ramsey would be like ifyou don't know where every penny
goes.
I mean Ramsey would be like ifyou don't know where every penny
goes, then you're broke and soit's like that.
You know money matters everypenny and you have the thing
where it counts where everysingle penny of your bank
(07:52):
account goes.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
And you know exactly where you're spending time or
your money.
Yeah, it's the same thing withminutes.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah, it's the exact same way, like you have this set
amount of time and you'respending it every single day.
So it's like look at your timethat way, to sit kind of in the
process.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
So as we go through this, you may be thinking
there's certain variables inyour day that you just can't,
you can't control, you can'tWell, you can Well in a sense,
like I know I go into work alittle early, but it's only like
15, 20 minutes early.
But like when I go to work Ihave to be there for a certain
amount of time.
So I can't really control that.
But after work, that's where myfree will comes in and what I
can do at that time.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
But you know what's interesting, though, the average
person and it may be differentfor a teacher, the average
person at work only spends threeand a half to four hours a day
actually being productive intheir job that they're hired to
do.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I can assure you that is not the case for a teacher.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
It's so interesting when you look at statistically,
like three and a half to fourhours of actual work, that
they're paid to do and thatthree to four hours is the top
of the top producers Right.
That's not.
Yeah, that's the guys that arekilling it.
That's the best of the best.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
That's insane yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Because every second of every minute of every day
that I am at work as a firstgrade teacher, something is
happening, there's a decisionbeing made, whether the kids are
with me or at lunch, or they'reat art or wherever, every
single, even while I'm trying toeat, I'm still making choices
and decisions and plans, andthere's not a wasted moment.
(09:23):
That's why a lot of times I gethome and I'm like I don't, I
don't have any words left for alittle while.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I need to, I need a minute so it's a, I mean, it's
one of those.
And then when you factor in theidea of a phone, um, man, like
I don't know if you get them, ifyou have an iPhone, if you have
an Android I don't think theydo this, but on your iPhone,
every Sunday, it sends you aweekly report of how long you've
done what, how long you've beenonline or playing games.
(09:49):
Sometimes that is incrediblyinsulting and shameful.
It is for me anyway.
I look at it and I'm like oh mygosh.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
You did recently go back into the game world.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
I did.
My name is Greg and I'maddicted to games on my phone.
You are.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I was so proud of you that you spent a lot of months
game free.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
That was like a year or more.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
I know.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Just no games.
And then I downloaded this gameand I had the thought this
weekend.
I was like this is dumb.
I don't even like that.
This is dumb, so it's gone.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
You're such a big boy I'm deleted it, I'm so proud.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
You just have to find a new game now yeah, see,
that's the problem.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
I'll find a game that I don't even care about it
should be stupid stacking blocksand I'll be like you know, oh,
I gotta get to level a thousandor something and I'm like what,
what?
It just doesn't.
But anyway.
So we spend our time and reallya rat race.
We spend our time doing allkind of crazy things, sometimes
useless things.
Sometimes we just want to vegout and watch TV.
The average person spends fourhours on their phone a day and I
(10:54):
know a lot of people I love itwhen we use it.
As adults, we say, oh, but Iwork on my phone.
Oh, it's for work, it's work.
And then you realize, if it isfor work, then just delete
Instagram and Facebook andTikTok off your phone.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
And then see how much time you spend there.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yeah, see how many times you pick your phone up.
Then it's like if your phone'sreally just email and phone
calls, that's all you need itfor.
Yeah, because I mean we're sosad.
The other night we were layingin bed and we're just scrolling
through TikToks just one rightafter the other.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
We were showing each other funny ones.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yeah, I mean I was intrigued about some dogs like
AI dogs, talking at a dog parkand I just had to like that's
what we're filling our liveswith.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
That was just last night and I was trying to tell
you goodnight because I neededto go to bed and you're like but
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,watch, these dogs are going to
talk.
I'm like okay, it's so funny.
It really actually was veryfunny.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
So it's like we have all these things but we don't
really stop to go man, where'smy time going?
Like, where's this going?
Because the clock is tickingand it is crazy for us because
can we agree maybe everyone inthis room, can we agree that
healthy relationships take time?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Well, yes, absolutely .
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Yeah.
So it's like okay, that's agiven, if you want a good
relationship, you've got to puttime and you can't just show up
once every now and then and feellike, oh yeah, well, you know,
hey, what's up, everything'sgreat.
Yeah, let's go.
Let's keep rolling on.
Those people who try to do thathave really unhealthy
relationships.
So if that's the case, then thebig question is okay, so how do
(12:35):
we do this Like?
How do we, like we realize timeis this variable that we can't
really control?
No, like we can control it, butwe're only given so much of it.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
And the idea that there's an expiration date.
It's kind of like yikes.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
You know what's interesting Like if you say you
go to say you pick up thecreamer, we have creamer in our
fridge, you pick up the creamer.
If the expiration date was lastweek, are you going to use that
?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I would smell it first.
You smell it, I would smell itfirst yes, see, I don't even
smell it, I just use it.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
I don't live with expiration dates.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
You don't Nah, you think it's a suggestion.
Yeah, it's definitely asuggestion.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Some things.
It is just a suggestion.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Well, like bread's easy when it's got green stuff
growing on it.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Yeah, that is easy.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
yes, milk is easy yes , milk is easy, like milk when
it's clumpy and it's clogged.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
The true form of bravery is testing milk that's
expired.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Yeah, but all of the people except for me that live
in this house are lactoseintolerant.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
I just don't like milk.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
So we don't have milk here ever.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Well, it's just the other day Erin Grace found some
ham turkey in the fridge and Idon't even remember buying
turkey, so it was like.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
I did because it was still in the summer, and that
tells you.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
And she's like will you smell this?
And as soon as she walked out,thomas goes that doesn't even
look good.
Whatever it is that looks badand it smelled.
I was like that's a weird smell, so it was a no go, but it's.
I mean everything, everythinghas a shelf life.
Uh, trends have a shelf life.
(14:07):
You know, tiktok used to bedancing.
Now it's not even that.
It used to be funny videos.
Now it's just something else.
It's like ai now yeah, andinstagram was at one time this
and now it's something different.
It's like everything changesand everything has a shelf life
and it moves to some it moves onto the next step.
That's just the way life works.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Well, speaking of moving on to the next step, like
you told me something not toolong ago about once your kids
move out of your home, whateverthe age may be.
Sometimes it's for college orjust adulting.
The the amount of time.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Talk about that when you were oh yeah, I, I found
this statistic and it reallyblew my mind so I had to dig
into it a little bit just to tryto, and then I tried to do it
with us and our kids.
Like um, it says, you willspend the first 18 years of the
kid's life if, if they're livingat home, you spend 18 years up
until the age of 18.
(15:06):
From the time they move out,the average person will only
spend one more year cumulativelywith that kid the rest of their
life.
So which sounds insane.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Yeah, at first we were like there's no way, that's
real.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
But then we started sitting down thinking about how
much time have we spent in thelast year with Callie and
Charles.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Who live out of state .
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Yeah, who live in Pensacola.
It's like how much time have wespent with Cody?
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Who I mean?
It's just, it's just crazy.
When you start thinking aboutit, you're adding up your life.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Even the one kid that lives here.
I mean that fits in thatscenario too.
We just have one child andThomas and Miranda with our
granddaughter Lucy, and I knowthat Lucy is the anchor.
They're the ones we spend themost time with, but that's an
intentional kind of thing,because we want to see our
granddaughter every time we can.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Right.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
However, there'll be times where that's not the case
too, and that was such a scarythought of how is that real?
Yeah, like you said, once westarted kind of thinking about
it, it was like actually, no,that's real, that is so sad.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
It really is.
I mean the whole idea.
It came about too when I wasreading another study of a guy.
He was talking about time andtaking advantage of your
opportunities and he's like asan adult, he was like I was
going to see my dad who wasn'tfeeling very well, and he said I
was going to see my dad whowasn't feeling very well, and he
said I spent some time with himduring the holidays.
(16:39):
He said I figured it out.
I'll go and see him at leastfour times a year.
And he's like my dad wasgetting up there in age and he's
like he's probably going tolive another eight to 10 years.
And he's like, say, he lives 10years at best and he's like
four times I'm only that's theonly amount of time that I'm
going to see him.
So it's like you don't havethat many.
Because you may think, hey, youwould say, oh, I have 18
(17:00):
summers with my kids before theymove out.
That's best case scenario.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah, that's if you don't have to share them with
you know, another parent, or ifthey don't have, like, all of
ours have always, always hadjobs and all of ours have always
done extracurricular activities.
So it's like no, you whittlethat down and it keeps whittling
down, and whittling down, andwhittling down, until it's like
nothing.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Well, that's why I say know your numbers, like,
know your time, like.
We want to talk about this ideaof like, no, no, no, they live
in the same house with me and belike okay, then tell me how
much time you spend with themeach day out of the day.
And it may be like, oh, okay,45 minutes.
So in a quimic of like youspend seven hours over a week
with them.
Right, you spend that at oneday of work.
(17:44):
So it's like you start lookingat it in that sense it's like,
no, how much like.
And then it makes makes you, itmakes you start to look at the
whole idea is like you have ashelf life with your family, in
the sense like there's a timewhen seasons change, they move
out things, they're different.
Yes, um, someone may get sick,they may not.
Um, do you have?
Speaker 3 (18:06):
something.
Yeah, no, I was just gonna sayit comes along the same sense,
though.
We put that time into workbecause we know what we get out
of it right.
We put that time into workbecause we know what we get out
of it Right.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
We put that time into work because we're like oh well
, either one, I have to do it,there's direct results or two
there's an expectation from aboss or something like that,
right?
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Or even if you own your own company, you know, if I
don't do this, there is noreturn, right?
You know?
Yep, but how often do we gothrough life and we don't treat
our relationships the same way?
Yeah, either one.
We've never thought of it thatway, cause, I mean, we budget
money, we budget work, we workthrough, we do all these things,
(18:44):
but we don't consider our timewith family and our time with
friends or time with a spousethe same way.
Then, when things fall apart,we're like what happened?
Where did we miss it?
You've not been investing in it.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Right, yeah, because most of the time, you could
probably look back at yourcalendar, yeah, and be like,
okay, let's talk about what thislast two months have looked
like.
How much time have you investedin this or that you know?
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Well, when you're honest, like when you're really,
really honest with yourselvesand you can sit down and it
takes a third party, likesomebody sitting down with you,
and go, okay, tell me yourweekly schedule, tell me what
you do, and for them to heartheir perspective, and you may
be thinking well, everybody'slike this or this is the way it
is, like, like, it's not, it'snot always that way, like, and
(19:27):
so it's so true.
Like when families are growingup, it's so easy and parents do
this all the time and it'sreally.
It's really really sad to seebecause parents start attaching
so much time to what their kidsare doing, because they want to
invest in their kids and theysay the idea of I want my kid to
have better than what I did.
So that's sometimes when wegive so much time to work,
(19:47):
because I want to make moremoney, I want them to have it
better than I did.
I want them to not have to workas hard as I did to get here.
I get that, but in a sense, too,you became who you were because
you had to do what you had todo to get there.
So it's almost like are youhelping your kids by doing that?
But in the same sense, you andit's just a question, I'm not,
don't roast me whether I'm wrong.
(20:08):
I mean, for some it may beright, for some it may be wrong,
but the idea is like what'syour goal?
Like, what's your goal for yourkids?
What's your goal for yourfamily?
Yeah, like, what is that goingto be?
Because you have these parentswho get kids so involved in
sports and they get their livesare so, and so everything
evolves around.
We're doing everything aroundthat.
Every weekend, every spareminute we have, we're doing
(20:31):
those activities.
Well, then, all of a sudden,one day, sports are done, they
graduated school and they'relike well, I'm not, I don't want
to play sports at collegiatelevel, or I'm not, I can't play
sports at collegiate level.
And then, all of a sudden, youhave parents who look at each
other and they don't even knowwho each other are, because
they've been on, they've beenchasing this dream with their
kids forever.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Yeah, and They've been chasing this dream with
their kids forever.
Yeah, and it's that whole thingof time with kids and time
invested in what the kids wantto do and letting even kids'
schedule kind of dictate.
Your life is not ever going topay off in the end if you're not
careful to make sure that itdoesn't outweigh time invested
(21:11):
in your marriage, because, likeyou've always said, the kids are
going to leave and it's goingto be me and you.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Yeah, well, I mean, we told our kids many times it's
like you guys are here becausewe fell in love with each other
and we are married.
Yeah, like if we weren'tmarried we wouldn't be a family
and y'all wouldn't be here.
Yeah, so the idea that we'reall in this together, like I'm
investing in her so that I caninvest in you guys, and so I
think it's completely okay to toto leave kids at home and go on
(21:40):
a date sometimes.
I think it's okay to leave kids, if you can, and go on vacation
, go away for a few days, likeI'm not saying you have to do
that all the time.
There's times where it's needed.
You need to reinvest, you haveto.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
I go back back to, though you have to look at time
in a very I mean, it is what itis like you're spending it.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
The way you're spending so much, right, and
it's like you can.
You can make excuses as much asyou want.
You'll be like well, I sleepfor eight hours.
Yeah, okay, you can sleep sixhours if you want and save two
more hours to do something else,if you want.
I mean that's.
I mean you can like if you'relike.
I don't.
Most of the time I don't sleepeight hours.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
I was just going to say sleep is not like high on
the priority list for you.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
No, like it's really not and it's weird, but
sometimes I really enjoy.
Like I crawl into bed this weekbecause I've been gone on a
golf trip this weekend, and Icrawl back this week because
I've been gone on a golf tripthis weekend and I crawled back
in our bed and I was like, oh mygosh, it feels so good, it just
feels good to be in your bedback home, but it's like I don't
know Sleeping is.
(22:43):
I don't sleep.
Well, I think.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
But back to the whole kid and time thing Like what's
sad and true because I meanstatistics show it but after you
just pour your whole life andall this time and energy into
what the kids are doing and thenyou forget about your spouse in
the meantime I mean once thekids grow up or get to a certain
(23:08):
age or even leave the home,that's when a lot of divorces
happen.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
It's because you've forgotten what it means to
actually invest in your marriage.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Of that time I mean.
Any good relationship takestime.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
And I'm not saying sports and extracurriculars are
not called for.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Our kids did all the things, yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
We carried, like Thomas, mountain was mountain
biking, but we carried ourentire family.
Some of them did not like it,but we'd have to go stay off for
a weekend.
We'd get a hotel room All overthe state of Georgia and we
would pack in a hotel room forthat weekend and we would
mountain bike.
But we all did it together andit was fun together, it just.
(23:49):
But then I look at it and I waslike Thomas learned a lot and I
think it was good for him.
But it was a couple weeks ago.
His bike was sitting out,propped up on a building.
Some family members weregetting in a mountain bike and I
was like, hey, you guys wantThomas' old bike.
And he's like, really, I mean,we put shocks on it, we put new
wheels on it.
We dumped a lot of time andenergy.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
All it needed was a little tune-up and some cleaning
.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
I was like you, just need some love and some cleaning
and a little tune up and you'llbe good to go.
But it's like it reminds me oflike we were so invested into
that and it was financial, a bigfinancial investment, not just
time and it wound up with beinga bike that was propped up
against the building.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
That's so true.
Outside and this was like thatwas a lot of years of our life
and a lot of time for the otherkids too.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
It was great because we built great relationships
doing it, had a blast doing it.
I love the people we were doingit with.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
And the rest of our kids.
They had a blast doing it, justbecause we made sure.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
But we tried to do that as a family, even though
that was something we were doing.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Directly for Thomas.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
And I think that's the intentionality behind time.
It's like be intentional, knowthat every second counts.
While I'm cooking breakfast, Iremember, uh, in the mornings, I
was in charge of breakfast atour house, and so I always
taught breakfast as a hypesession, like I'm gonna hype
everybody up.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
It was a party in the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Yeah, I was like they come in, we'd have music
playing.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
I was getting ready and fixing the girl's hair.
They would, you and the boyswould have it going in there
already.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Yeah, just loud, like having a good time, just like,
hey, what are we talking abouttoday?
Let's talk about somethingtoday.
What's going on?
Like just get excited.
We got the day ahead of us andI used to call it the Festival
of Learning.
So I was like we're about to goto the Festival of Learning, so
let's get ready.
And so we had a great time andI always remember like for me
that was very intentional withthat time to go.
(25:35):
I'm going to be direct and getsome fun, good time with my kids
in the morning, because I knowin the afternoons and I remember
I always remember Cody walkingin and nobody was really a
morning person really.
Cody would entertain mesometimes, but he is less of a
morning person.
Now Callie got better.
She did.
It took her a morning personreally.
Cody would entertain mesometimes, but he is less of a
morning person.
Now Callie got better.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
She did.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
It took her a little while, but she was good.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Thomas and Nair never got on the morning train?
Speaker 1 (26:00):
No, thomas was like the walking dead in our kitchen,
but Cody came walking in andwas like I was like.
So what are we talking aboutthis morning at breakfast?
And Cody's like I'd like todiscuss monotheism versus the
like and like I'd like todiscuss polytheism.
Yeah, polytheism versusmonotheism.
I remember I was going.
He was like really yes and I waslike, hey, here we go.
(26:27):
It was, uh, it's like beingintentional about just even
breakfast, being intentionalabout going in, like if I was
off or I was able to, I tried togo pick them up from school.
I was trying to be and I'm notsaying I had it all figured out
and it's perfect, because it'snot.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
We are not like trying to say, oh, we have all
the answers.
Here's the thing, or we knowexactly what you need to do to
fix this or that.
Or we're the experts, we arenot.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
No, and that's why I'm saying this is not one of
those episodes where you'regoing to be like, okay, give me
four things to do and I'm goingto go do those.
This is a.
I'm going to give you one thingto start a question.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Yeah, it's going to be different for everyone.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Right a thousand percent.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
All we want you to do is just start talking about it.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Yeah, have the conversation with your wife or
your husband and say can we talkabout the time and how we spend
it?
We talk about our budget and wetalk about that.
Let's talk about our time andhow we spend it.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Going back to.
We're not saying we knoweverything, but, like our
definition or our answer to thetime question, it's changed over
a lot of years.
Yeah, and we had to revisit itbecause it changed.
I mean, we've been together 13years now and this change, we've
had different phases, We've haddifferent seasons of life.
(27:43):
I mean it's just there's a lotof change.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Yeah, I mean date dates used to be Starbucks
before we went grocery shoppingat Kroger, and that was it.
Yeah, now it's like we come tothe realization.
When I come home, I'm like Ihave you for 45 minutes before I
lose you.
So when we get home, it's likedo you want a glass of wine?
Do you want to sit down?
Can we hear some things I wantto talk about?
Yeah, let's go sit outsidewhere it's fun and hear some
(28:08):
things I want to talk about.
And here's some things I wantto talk about, right Like, and
we usually just roll throughsome of the day.
It's not that you had to be soprogrammed, but the thing is is
if I'm not intentional inwatching that time to make sure
it goes, there won't?
Speaker 2 (28:22):
be any.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Yeah, it's just going to be gone.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
And so the whole idea is to go just, I want to pitch
the idea and get you to thinkyeah, there's a clock ticking
right now, like it's beenticking since we started this
episode and we're probably 28minutes into this and in that 28
minutes there's a lot of lifethat's happened.
Yeah, a lot of crazy things inthe world have happened, and it
(28:45):
just not to be morbid, but hey,the clock's running down, it is.
So it's like what are we goingto do with the time we have?
Speaker 2 (28:52):
That's what I want to ask.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Let's unpack it, okay .
Speaker 2 (28:58):
I'm not good at unpacking right now, so I'm
going to try my best, Likeliterally in life right now.
You didn't unpack from the tripyet that you just got back from
.
Okay.
I did get back Literally.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
I did.
You have not unpacked.
No, I got back Monday.
It's Tuesday.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
Today's just Tuesday.
Yeah, it's Tuesday, you stillgot time.
Yeah, it's not bad, you stillgot time.
You got at least like 48 hoursbefore it starts getting weird,
like it gets weird.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Is there a time limit on when it's weird?
Speaker 2 (29:23):
It would only be weird if like Is it a?
Speaker 1 (29:25):
week from now.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Well maybe.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Hey, I packed that this weekend, though I took it
out of my bag for you.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
What.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
That pullover you have on.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Oh what I'm wearing.
Yes, I appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
But my bag, literally , is sitting on the bathroom
counter.
I unzipped it and took thetoothpaste and my toothbrush out
.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
It would be more weird if I needed stuff from
what you have not unpacked fromyour bag, like I don't care, you
do you?
Speaker 1 (29:58):
That's your side of the bathroom I don't care, I
literally don't care.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Yeah, so pile up all your crap so figuratively not
figuratively, but literally.
I'm not great at unpackingsometimes, and so for unpacking,
let's refer back just realquick to like just kind of think
of your time as how you, youbudget your money.
Um, hopefully, but and so ifyeah, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
No I was gonna say this is the unfun part.
Yeah, when you sit down andliterally like sketch out and
maybe do this at night, at theend of the night go.
Okay, what do we do?
Like write out your day.
You don't have to be, you don'thave to be specific.
The more specific you are, thebetter it is.
But don't be weird about it,yeah don't be like three minutes
and 45 seconds doing this orfour minutes and four, but no
(30:37):
sort of journal.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Out your day, it gives you a really good look of
okay, wow, because I mean one ofthe first times we talked about
after I come home from schooland I want to go to the gym and
this and that and the other, andthe evening unfolds.
Whenever we talked about it,finally, I was like okay, like
you said, we get literally likea good 45 minutes together each
day.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Of like actual time, and that's if you know the
grandbaby's not here, or if wedon't have a house full of
friends, or if this and that andthe other yeah.
And so I was like, okay, that'sactually very eye opening.
So I which made me be even moremindful of like I'm going to
get everything at work done,that I need to do at work and
leave it at work I don't bringlike anymore.
(31:22):
I did in the beginning when Ifirst became a teacher but, like
long story short, I make surethat I don't bring stuff home
that takes even more time fromyou when I get to literally be
with you.
But that took a really good,like really hard look of how are
we spending our time.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Now husbands out there, this is not just a wife.
This is not just a wifeexercise.
This is a wife and husbandtogether exercise.
Sit down and do this.
This gives you a reason tospend some time together.
Sit down and do it togetherWherever you're at at home,
whatever, at what time of day.
Once you get the kids down,it's quiet for a minute.
Yeah, map this.
This is very, very importantthat you figure out where your
(32:01):
time is going now, yeah, andthen, once you do that, you
start looking for the areaswhere you can improve.
Yeah, like, where can wemaximize that time?
Is it riding with the kids?
Maybe I'm riding with and we'rein the car.
Maybe, as a spouse, you don'tlook at Instagram.
You say I'm going to put myphone in the cup holder.
That's what.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
I was going to say we don't have all the answers, but
I can give you one bigsuggestion, and you're the one
that brought this to myattention, and I got really
sassy with you about it for thefirst couple of months because I
didn't want—you're not the bossof me, but—i mean you are.
But it's okay, don't say thatYou're the leader of our family.
But you brought something in mymind.
(32:38):
I'm like I'm sitting still, Idon't have to do anything, but
just sit here and I can look atsocial media.
Meanwhile you're driving us towherever it was and you were
(33:02):
thinking, oh, I am sitting hereand I have time with just her,
because most of the time, if thekids were with us, they were
not paying attention to what wewere doing.
And so you said you know, canyou please work on that habit of
not being on your?
Speaker 1 (33:17):
phone.
No, I think the first way Istarted is we were getting there
and I was like it has been sofun spending time with you and
your phone on this trip.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
I was trying to say it nicer.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
And you just looked at me.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
I was kind of ticked but I was going to say nicer and
you just looked at me, I waskind of ticked but I was just
like that's why I got sassyabout it.
But I was trying to be verynice about it just then and
paint a prettier picture.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
I'm just trying to be real.
Okay, fine, I was going to bereal.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Yeah, you were not nice about it the first time you
said it.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
I wasn't because I was ticked off.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
I'm like I'm driving, for me to drive.
It's true.
Those are both true statements.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
So here's where we're at.
So, again, this is not a we'regoing to unpack and we're going
to give you answers.
The tool I'm going to give youand the thing I'm going to say
that I really, really want youguys to do as a couple is,
whether you've been married forfive minutes or 15 years, map
out where your time's going andhave a conversation.
(34:10):
Yeah, start the conversationaround this.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
And don't be sassy how we spend our time.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
And try not to make passive-aggressive, sassy
comments.
I mean, I'm the king of that,but I'm trying not to be.
So that's it.
That's kind of in a nutshell,because the clock is ticking,
and it is ticking right now, andso, um, wherever you're at,
maybe wherever you get to, um,whatever you're doing maybe not
(34:39):
not while you're driving, butjust text your significant other
and just say I love you and Iwant to have a conversation
about our time, how do we spendour time and then just you can
start start this conversation,that simple Yep, and then just
see where it goes.
So we're going to do somethingreally, really fun, real quick,
because we're supposed to do itat the beginning but we don't do
it at the end.
We're going to do a it's justrandom questions Question time,
(35:02):
just question time.
Fun kind fan, a brilliantlydumb bob does sports.
Those guys, bobby fairways, uh,joy, coca, all those guys I
mean I love fat bread, all thoseguys love them.
Um, and so they do like buy andsell.
They do a bunch of fun stuff onthe podcast.
But it made me think I was likewe need something fun on our
podcast.
So we're just gonna do randomquestion time.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
So I forgot what we said earlier, so here's mine no,
the random.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Okay, you go ahead, and then I'll remember the
random question.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
Tacos hard shell or soft shell?
Speaker 3 (35:33):
Oh soft.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Every time, no matter what.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
Every time, no matter what.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Unless it's a cheesy cookie to crunch from Taco Bell.
Then it's both Flour over corn.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
Okay, I mean, I'll eat corn, but flour is where
it's at Mine is based on themeat that's inside of it,
because if it's like shreddedchicken, it's always more like
there's more sauce, and so itneeds a crunchy taco shell
because it bleeds through thesoft one.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
It just runs out the ends.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Yeah, and it breaks it and falls apart everywhere.
Ground beef is either or.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
No, I'm crunchy all the way, every time, every
single time.
I like the crunch.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
And I like eating like you.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Take one bite off the back corner but you have to go
to the other side.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
No, then you get off the top and then you go back to
the bottom.
You work your way up and backand forth, so it's top, bottom,
top, bottom, top, bottom.
Speaker 3 (36:29):
But then you get uneven bites.
You do Because like the topbites, like nothing but lettuce.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
The top you get a lot of lettuce and cheese and other
stuff, and then on the bottomyou go back to just straight
meat and taco and you go back upto some lettuce and so you mix
it all in there together.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
So my question is are you a violent, loud throw-upper
when you throw up, or are youreally quiet when you puke?
Speaker 2 (36:54):
Wow, I'm quiet and I cry every time.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Like emotionally cry.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Like your eyes don't water like my eyes don't water,
it's not like your eyes justwater up.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
No, no, no.
It hurts my feelings.
I don't throw up very often.
It makes me sad.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
It hurts your feelings.
It does.
Your feelings are hurting,you're throwing up, it makes me
sad because it doesn't happen.
Very often I cry every timeyour own body hurt your own
feelings.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
Yes, it makes me sad.
I am extremely loud, like outof the nose out of the oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
I can't help it.
It's like you, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
It starts and feels like in my toes.
It's like your body'scompulsing all that.
It's like my ribs hurt, mystomach hurts.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
It's like a— but you do, you yell.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
I have literally tried to not be loud and it's
like impossible to not be loud.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
I've tried to not cry , but it's not possible.
I cry every time.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
That's so new.
I've never heard of anybody.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
It hurts my heart.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Dude, after you throw up and you get that cold
washcloth and you wipe your faceoff.
That's like beautiful, it's sorefreshing.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
We're talking about the nap afterwards, like if
you're going to sleep Anyway,okay.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
I was just trying to wrap y'all up.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
What a beautiful way for a random conversation or
just question time, questiontime.
So thanks for joining us.
Make sure to like, subscribe,share the podcast.
Oh my, but thanks for joiningus tonight.
Love you guys.
Anything to say before we go?
Speaker 2 (38:21):
No, sorry, we talked about throw up.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
All right, go Dawgs, see you later.
Bye, bye, see you later.
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