July 8, 2025 • 55 mins
There's something powerful about admitting you're in a valley. In this raw and unscripted 20th episode, we break from our usual format to have an honest conversation about the seasons of life we're currently navigating.
Greg, Jess, and Producer Michael (making his on-mic debut) dive deep into what it means to practice genuine self-care versus slipping into selfishness. We carefully define the difference: self-care is actively taking care of yourself to improve your overall well-being, while selfishness prioritizes your needs at the expense of others. This distinction becomes our compass as we share personal struggles.
Michael courageously opens up about his divorce journey and how community became his lifeline. Greg reveals professional frustrations at 52, feeling undervalued despite decades of experience. Jess battles the persistent voice in her head saying she's "not enough" – a struggle many will recognize. Through these stories emerges a powerful metaphor from Greg's mountain climbing days: when traversing dangerous terrain, you rope yourself to others so if one person falls, the team prevents catastrophe.
The conversation takes a transformative turn when Michael shares wisdom from his healing process: "If I am coping with where I'm at, I am not thriving, because coping and thriving cannot coexist." We explore how distraction prevents genuine processing of difficult thoughts and emotions, keeping us stuck in cycles rather than moving forward.
Each of us commits to one specific action to climb out of our current valleys – from Greg's "50 by 50" life lessons project to Michael's renewed dedication to community building. These aren't grand gestures but intentional steps toward healthier living.
Whatever valley you're walking through right now, this episode reminds you that you're not alone. Connect with us on social media, share your own journey, and remember – the most treacherous mountains aren't meant to be climbed solo.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm Greg.
I hope you guys are ready tounpack and get into some good
conversations today.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast Baggage
Claim.
Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Welcome to Baggage Claim everybody.
I don't know why my arms are inthe air, but I'm excited about
today.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
You just threw them up there, man.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Yeah, I am.
This is our 20th episode, andso we're doing things a little
different.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Yeah, if you just heard that mysterious voice,
yeah, that is.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Producer Michael is at the table At the table with
us.
So welcome to Baggage Claim.
It's your first time here.
It's going to be different fromall the other times, and that's
completely okay.
Baggage claim is a place wherewe want to create some
conversations and buildcommunity around blended
families and relationships, andso today we have Michael at the
(00:54):
table with us and so it's goingto be fun, and we have no idea
how this is going to go.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Yeah we're going to see I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
I've not done this before.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Well, and usually in my handy dandy notebook we've
got like an outline.
We kind of know where we'regoing and what do we have
tonight, Like 14 words.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Yeah, we have no outline.
Yes, it's a lot of scribbles,let's do it and you know this
makes Jess's anxiety go throughthe the roof, but we were.
Yeah, my hands are sweaty.
We're trying to go, Likeliterally we're trying to get
into part two of where westarted last week, where we left
off talking about self-care.
(01:33):
We're talking about selfishnessversus selflessness.
We talked about self-care andself-worth and those things.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
So we left off last time, talking about too a big
chunk of our conversation towardthe end was about trading time,
and there's always some kind oftrade-off if you're trading
time for money or whatever.
And then we touched on, too,about how your time is limited.
Everybody's time is limited.
We don't know how long we have,and so whatever moments we have
(02:02):
together are precious.
And then we started talkingabout, like you said,
selfishness versus self-care andjust talked a little bit about
that.
So we're going to try.
The hope is we're going to goin that direction and kind of
talk about the differencebetween the two, something that
(02:23):
you brought up too, because weactually listened to the last
podcast.
I don't like to listen to them.
I don't want to hear my ownvoice ever.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Jess actually got mad at herself because you got
emotional three times.
It was just like just shut up.
I would have turned myself offalready.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
I would have.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
And so I was like it doesn't happen every episode.
That's the first time you'velistened to it, though.
Yeah, I read it, episode 19,first time.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Yeah, I will read the transcripts, but I don't want
to hear my own self, Wow okay.
Yeah, but something that yousaid was if you could ask
yourself are you good atself-care?
And maybe kind of do somereflection too about not you
personally, but you in general.
Or, you know, are you selfishabout something that you may not
(03:07):
realize that you're selfishabout?
And that's why we wanted totalk a little bit more about the
difference between the two.
And just one more thing tocover from last time.
You made a really goodstatement too.
You had a lot of good statements, oh, wow, Now these are the
very few things I have writtenin my book, or some things that
you said.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
It was my highlight reel from last episode.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
It was you said we were talking about the Bible
verse about love your neighboras yourself, and you said if I
can't love myself well, then howcan I be expected to love my
neighbor well?
And in this situation, yourspouse, partner?
You know, if you can't loveyourself well, how can you love
others well?
And so that's what led us kindof down this pathway, is now
(03:54):
we're going to be kind of tryingto dive into the difference
between self-care andselfishness.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Before we dive into them, will you read the
definitions that we came up with?
Yes, for the separate, the twoseparate ones.
So it's going to help form ourconversation.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Talking and talking and kind of picking out what we
think, we came to the conclusionin our opinion.
This is just our opinion.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yes, our thoughts.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
That self-care is actively taking care of yourself
to improve your overallwell-being is self-care.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Right, emotional, mental, physical, spiritual,
those type things yes.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
For improving your well-being.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Yeah, overall.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Versus selfishness is to prioritize your own needs
and desires at the expense ofothers.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Yeah, did we have a definition for self-care?
Speaker 2 (04:49):
We didn't, did we?
That's the first thing we justsaid was self-care.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
We just said that Okay, wow, nailed it.
Thank you, sir.
Can we repeat the definitionfor self-care?
I will be happy to.
I will repeat both of them.
Hey, look at my face.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Okay, self-care.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
I'm with you.
I got it.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
You're still not looking at me.
I'm trying.
Self-care is actively takingcare of your own self to improve
your overall well-being.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
That's right.
Yeah, I just added to that.
Oh my gosh, you did.
You added to that.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
It's a great definition.
Thank you, and then you ready,mm-hmm.
Selfishness is to prioritizeyour own needs and desires at
the expense of others.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Gotcha, you feel good about it, I'm good.
Okay, can I kick off theepisode, though?
Well, we've already kicked itoff.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
We are, I don't even know what you call this.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
You can go to the next section, second kick.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
This is the second kick, maybe Second down it's
halftime.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Halftime already.
No, it's not halftime.
We're on the second man.
This is a short episode nosecond down.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
We're four minutes in .
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Oh God, life has seasons.
Yeah, can we agree about thataround the table?
Yeah, and some of those seasonsare We've mentioned seasons
several times.
Yeah, there's winter there's,and winter's coming, winter's
coming, winter's coming, game ofThrones, and so then there's.
So then there's right nowSummer.
(06:19):
It's just hot.
In Georgia we had spring whereit rained, and it's just hot.
In Georgia, we had spring whereit rained, and it's very stormy
.
You know, we got fall, which isthe best time of the year, fall
is coming.
It is the best by far, the besttime of the year.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Do you realize— we're going to have fake fall towards
the end of August, first ofOctober, and it's going to get
hot again, do you?
Speaker 1 (06:36):
realize it's July.
It's July First.
It's July, july 1st.
We're recording.
This will come out next week,and so a month next month, in
August, we will be watchingcollege football.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Yes, let's go.
How awesome is that.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
It's a blessing.
Anyway, seasons, that's whenall is right in the world.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Sometimes we have good seasons, sometimes we have
rough seasons.
Life is all about hills andvalleys.
Valleys are sometimes fun whenthere's cool rivers in them.
Sometimes there's not, andsometimes there's mountains, and
so we're just going to bestraight up honest tonight.
I am at least I hope you guyschoose to and just share where
(07:21):
we're at in life, and sometimesit's not pretty, and it may be I
don't know, it may not berainbows and butterflies.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
It's not, it's not fun.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
But yeah, it's not fun sometimes, but we're just
going to be real with it.
So are we?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
good with that.
All I have to say we're in avalley, honey.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Yeah, there's some daisies in this valley, but yeah
, we're in the valley, so, butwe have Michael.
You guys don't know a lot aboutMichael because he's usually
just behind the computer tellingus hey, this is how long you've
been talking, be quiet, talkinto your mic more, stop moving,
Greg, stop doing these things.
It's usually what Michael's jobis.
(08:04):
So, michael, tell us a littlebit about you, your journey,
quick, yeah, quick synopsis.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Well, first off, speaking of valleys, I feel like
I'm in a valley right now.
It's interesting because thereare different seasons of life.
In ways I feel like there's avalley, in ways there's not, and
so now I'll say that and we'llspeak more to that, but start
from the beginning.
You know, maybe not thebeginning, but I've known you
(08:33):
for that's a good question.
Five years yeah, I think it'sabout five, five or six years,
yeah, yeah yeah, right wellabout five, because it was right
after covid 2020, that's right,yep, yeah, so uh, you came on
staff at the church where I wasworking and actually we got
paired up like your first weekon staff.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yeah, it was weird.
They just paired me with.
They're like hey, we're goingto pair people up.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
I didn't know anyone there and they called it others
which the mindset is get withyour other, get with the other
person that you're with and justdo ministry together, do life
together, do work together, doeverything, and you guys chose
to do a book together.
Yeah, we did.
So the first thing, I rememberthe first day we immediately
went.
We walked across the street andwent to that what is it?
Burger and Shake 3, I think isthe name of that restaurant and
(09:18):
it was so good.
We got the Korean dumplings andprobably a Philly cheesesteak,
which is like the weirdestcombination you can possibly get
at a restaurant.
But it was all good.
And, yeah, we went through abook and then, a year later I
think, we went through abouteight books that year.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
That became your thing.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
It really did, and we started doing coffee all the
time and so one just kind ofconnected big time over that.
But in that time I had been infull-time uh ministry not all of
it was full time, but at thatpoint, about six years, at that
point, when we first met and, um, I do worship, that's kind of
the world music I'm in, um, donethat, and uh, kind of my life
(10:01):
was in a crazy awesome season,just Kind of my life was in a
crazy awesome season Just up.
I had great mentors in my life,you being one of them, you know
just kind of growing, learning.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
And no, just working through life.
It was a good time for both ofyou, by chance how we got
together and we just clicked.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
And I know I can speak for me, but having that
mentor, having someone in yourlife that you're consistently
meeting with and in that seasonI had like three people that I
was doing that with and it ledto a tremendous season of growth
, a tremendous season ofmaturity in my own life and in
leadership, but also how to knowpeople better, how to lead
(10:42):
people better, that kind ofthing.
And ended up meeting a girl.
She joined my small group andwe got married and shortly after
it wasn't even a year and shejust kind of decided it wasn't
for her.
And so now, about two years ago, I ended up getting divorced,
which is crazy.
(11:02):
That was two years ago.
That's crazy.
I remember walking.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
I feel like that was two years ago.
That's crazy.
It was crazy.
I remember walking, because itdoes not feel like it was two
years ago yeah, and that wasanother thing.
I felt like God brought usanother, not the reason, but
another reason he brought ustogether.
Oh absolutely to walk throughthat with you, yeah, and so it
was just it was sad.
It was sad for it was both youguys, for you, it was just tough
(11:24):
, yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
And you've become a part of our family.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Oh yeah, Very much so I'll gladly be called a peck.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I'm very grateful.
Careful, there's some roughpecks out there.
I don't know that side of thefamily.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
But no, very, very grateful to have met y'all.
Have y'all been a part of mylife?
Be a part of y'all's lifewatching Georgia games.
I'll say this you have turnedme.
I have never been a collegesupporter, of any college, and I
will say now with confidenceI'm a Georgia football fan big
time.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
I have.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Many nights over here at y'all's house watching
football games.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
But no, just going back to the whole hills and
valleys, seasons of life, Ithink probably the biggest thing
for me is, once I recognizedseasons, it was a lot easier for
me to navigate them, gotcha.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
It is helpful to keep in your mind that you're not
stuck where you are.
Yeah, because I think somepeople might get stuck.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Yeah, oh, no, absolutely.
And so like for me, you knowwe'd always talked about seasons
, you know, especially like inchurch world, like there's a lot
of season that come and go,ebbs and flows with the season
of ministry and basically rhythmthroughout the year, and I
never really it's not that Ididn't take it to heart, but I
didn't have like a tangible onmy personal life when it came to
(12:48):
seasons and, man, when I hadthat hard season in my life,
going through divorce, it wasevident that seasons turned for
me.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Wow, and yeah it's not easy for sure.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
But yeah, I'd definitely say it's not easy
going alone.
No, not at all.
So that's a little bit about meand I know we're just kind of
seeing where it goes tonight.
But yeah, a little bit about me.
And I'd say this if I were tosay any one thing about seasons
is don't go about seasons alone,don't Don't.
(13:24):
You've always got to havepeople to run with you, work
with you, especially when you'regetting tired and you're rough
and beating yourself up Becauseit happens.
I mean, we all have that innervoice that we speak to ourselves
in, and there's alwayssomething like that.
But don't go it alone.
You know, be open, bevulnerable, share.
I mean, greg, I think I'veshared more with you about my
(13:44):
life than I have anybody else.
Maybe outside of some of mybrothers but no, be open and be
real with people, because whenyou know there's people who have
your back and want to help yousucceed, that you can follow
criticism, you can follow advice, and it changes a lot in your
mental and emotional state.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Well, sometimes it's good to know you're not by
yourself.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
You know, it's like Well, dude, and sometimes it's
just simply knowing you're notby yourself.
Like I remember, there weremany times I just didn't want to
be at my house, I didn't wantto be alone.
I just didn't want to really doanything, but I also didn't
want to do anything either, likeI had no desire to go out or do
anything.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Were you feeling indifferent?
Speaker 3 (14:26):
I would say I was very much so feeling indifferent
.
Jess, I think that's anexcellent way to describe that,
thank you.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
It's not a feeling.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Indifferent is not a feeling For those of you who
don't know, we had probablyabout a 20-minute debate.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
And it's probably recorded.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
It's actually probably even recorded because I
was ready to start.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah, we phoned a friend.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Discussion on how, in different ways we talk about
emotions.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
I feel like Michael was feeling indifferent.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
I was very much so feeling indifferent.
But no, I would just invitepeople over that or we'd go to
the driving range.
We didn't even have to talkabout what was going on.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Just simply to be able to be in community with
others was I do remember, eveneven in that time, if you're in
your office, sometimes I wouldjust come in there with my
computer, just sit down and I'dbe working on something.
You'd be working on something.
Sometimes we wouldn't talk,sometimes we just I just sit in
there.
And so you know, just because Iknow when I walked through that
(15:23):
, just knowing that you're notby yourself is a huge, huge part
of that.
And so in a relationship, likeeven just in any relationship as
a spouse, sometimes you look at, even when you're married to
someone, you feel alone,sometimes like I'm on this
journey by myself, and youforget no, no, no, you're not by
(15:45):
yourself.
There's somebody here with youthat's here to help you through
that.
You know it's an interestingconcept and you guys may look at
me like I'm stupid, but this ishow it works for me.
Like the bigger mountains youclimb, the more technical, the
harder they get.
A lot of times when they'retechnical, you have to.
(16:05):
You climb with partners.
You have climbing partners andyou're roped in together and
there's a good distance betweenyou.
So there's, and you're roped intogether.
So you're usually travelingacross crevasses or ice or
hidden ice things, and sosomebody could fall in.
Then they're a couple hundredfeet deep, and so you've no big
(16:25):
deal.
Yeah, so you're roped into ateam member.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Gosh.
No wonder you used to climb somuch.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
I just heard you say the word crevasse again.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
I never knew that was a word until I met Greg.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Until the idea Okay, we're getting sidetracked.
The idea is that if you fall in,I stop us from going all the
way out and then you self-arrest.
It's just a way of protectingeach other.
Yeah, it's a safety, and themore you have the better.
You want at least probablythree or four, because sometimes
two people get pulled in, soyou got the other.
Anyway, it reminds me becausewhen we were on Rainier going up
(16:59):
and it was dark and I rememberit sucked, it was so cold, it
was dark and I was just prayingthe sun would come up, which we
were a long way from that,because it's like midnight and
my rope, if I looked ahead of me, my rope just disappeared into
the darkness.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
And then when I turned around and looked
backwards, my rope justdisappeared into darkness and I
felt so alone.
But I knew there was somebodytied to the front of that rope
and somebody tied to the back ofthat rope and it's like, no
matter what, I always knew Iwasn't by myself.
And so I always try to look atmy journey in life, either with
my wife and spouse or evenprofessionally, like, hey, don't
(17:38):
go alone, go with somebody.
So if you do fall, you do seesome.
There's a hidden crevasse orthere's something hidden.
You don't see you fall in.
There's somebody there to helpand that's what that's for.
And so it's a.
It's a really interestingconcept for how we live life.
We just, we just don't setourselves up that way, so we
silo ourselves, I feel like,into just life.
(18:01):
Because when you get marriedand you get a professional job
and you do, you're doing yourjob or you're doing your thing,
you come home it's like, how doyou meet people?
Where do you meet people?
Like what do you hang out?
Like what do you find a mentor?
Where do you find somebodythat's going to walk side beside
you and you know, in thosesituations?
And if it's not at work, thenwhere are you finding them?
(18:23):
And so it's kind of a difficultthing sometimes to find that.
So I don't know.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
Well, and also I think, and I just hearing your
example like that that remindsme so much of some of the things
that I walked through over thepast few years is you know you
may not see them right away, butyou know the rope is tied.
You know you may be walkingthrough a valley.
I mean, I know there weremultiple times that I did call
you.
You know whether it be randomwhenever just to be like bro,
can we just?
(18:50):
I mean, I remember immediatelyone time I called you at like
probably 7 pm and I was like bro, can we just?
I need to talk to someone.
So we met at Duncan, but justrandomly, it was like halfway.
We met at Duncan, over there onThompson Bridge, and then, uh,
there was another time where Iwas driving down the road and I
(19:10):
was like I'm not driving homeand I literally have nowhere to
go right now, and I called youand I okay, you brought me over
to your house and we just talkedand uh, but there were also
numerous times that I didn'tcall you as well, and it's not
to say that like oh well, Ishouldn't have or this or that
or should have, but but it wasone of those things where it's
like, okay, I know where I'm at,and I know where I'm at is not
like in a great place because,there was a lot of things I was
(19:31):
wrestling through, strugglingwith just pain, that I was
walking through brokenness, andit was one of those things where
I knew it was there when Ineeded it and it was like, okay,
it may be bad now, but I canwork through this, and I think
that mentality in of itselfhelps you pick yourself up more.
But it also knows that, okay,well, when it's, I know it's
(19:52):
going to be there when I'mfalling.
I can still walk a little bitnow, so I'm going to keep
walking and I remember that alsoin that, going back to what you
were talking about before withthe self-care versus selfishness
, going back to what you weretalking about before with the
self-care versus selfishness,there were so many things that
you spoke into my life that werehelping guide me towards
self-care versus selfishness.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
That's what I was just thinking.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
You read my thoughts, Because it could have been very
easily for me to just shuteverything else down.
You know, with what I was goingthrough, to not care about
anyone else, to just do my ownthing and be like, no, it's just
me.
And in reality there are someways I did that, but I hope and
I pray it didn't come at theexpense of others.
But when you're healing fromsomething like that, it's okay
(20:36):
to be a little selfish to makesure you're okay, but the thing
is and I remember this like itwas in one of the things you
said just a minute ago you'retalking about when you're
climbing up, you know the biggerthe mountain, the more
technicalities there are.
A lot of times we can do thingson our own, but if you had
experience and knowledge ofsomeone else who's walked
through it, they know a lot moreabout the technicalities and
(20:59):
you can walk through things alot easier because you're not
consistently failing because youhaven't gained that experience
yet.
And I remember there would bedays where you would just talk
to me and say, okay, hey, thisis, you know we're.
You're venting, you're goingthrough this thing, but what are
you doing this week for you?
What are you doing this weekthat's fulfilling for you, or it
(21:21):
was okay?
Who have you met with this week?
Like who?
Who of your friends have yougone and intentionally just hung
out with?
Yeah, you know, and I remember,because that was a big,
probably one of the biggestturning points in my life,
because I lived.
I lived in the same house, um,for a few, for about a year.
After, um, that I was in when Iwas married and I was like I
(21:43):
want to get out of this place, Iwant to leave, but I wasn't in
a place to do that, and so itwas like if these memories that
are haunting me of this placethey've got to be replaced.
They've got to be replacedsomehow.
And it was from what you hadsaid, like what friends of yours
are you actively trying to gohang out with just to have a
social life right now?
(22:04):
And I remember I did.
I called like six of my goodbuddies and was like shoot,
we're going to order pizza.
I got a hot tub and we're justgoing to watch whatever and hang
out in the hot tub.
Yeah, eat food, hang out andwhatever it is, play video games
.
And I remember because forabout six months we did that
like every week.
Yeah, me, anda, good group offriends, rj brian um, that's
(22:28):
awesome.
Preston, yeah, um, uh, yeah,josh, a bunch of guys just come
over and I mean we watchedthrough like all of the matrix
movies.
We watched all the john wickmovies we watched oh, we, we
went through so many, but it wasjust good times.
But it all comes back to whenyou have that someone speaking
in your life to not go it alone,but also to be intentional,
that you're doing what you needto do to be healthy emotionally,
(22:51):
mentally.
You know all those things.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
So self-care for you wasn't just you.
Your self-care involved someoneelse.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
But I'll say like it actually grew us tremendously.
You know, when you walk throughhardship with others, it's not
just a growth in you.
Like you said, it grew ourrelationships.
I mean I remember Brian and melike we grew tremendously
through that time and Brian andI were already really good
friends up until that point butwe started doing a lot more
ministry together.
We started doing a lot moreactivities outside of church
(23:23):
world together and it I meanstill great friends.
Talk to him just last week likewe still hang out and talk all
the time and so it's a yeah,it's not just you that it
affects, right?
Speaker 1 (23:34):
yeah we played a lot of golf we did play.
We spent a lot of time in thedriving range and Jess was very
young golf yes, we did, jess wasvery nice and letting me just
go play golf.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
I think we played golf almost every weekend that
whole summer.
Yeah, we did, we played a lot.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
And during the week as well.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yes, yeah, we'd play on Fridays Because she was at
school.
There were some times where youwere in school, so Fridays were
like the most favorite day.
Yeah, you were off, yeah so weplayed every Friday for a long
long time, yeah, so it was fun.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
We got really good.
Yeah, we were pretty good.
Well, I say really good, okayfor us, and our standards are
really good.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
I could use one golf ball for like four or five holes
.
Oh yeah, for sure, and I waslike look at me, I'm a
professional, you know, so Iinteresting, though, like we
talk about those valleys ofgoing up and down and self-care
(24:31):
and taking care of ourselves.
Where are you at in that, jess?
Do you want to just jump rightin and share, because I know we
talk about the gym.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
We talk about with you a lot.
For me, self-care goes hand inhand with self-worth.
For me, my self-care is, youknow, going to the gym, making
sure I'm eating right, drink amillion gallons of water a day
and trying to do.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
You drink excessive amounts of water and there's
very limey.
It has a lot of lime in it.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
I like these little packets, this crystallized lime.
At the grocery store you canget the lemon ones, like if
you're in a restaurant, you'relike water with lemon, but I
like lime, but I have to orderthem on Amazon.
But I like it and I always warnyou when you drink my water,
but you still always make allthe dramatic faces.
It's true, anyway, but myself-worth is kind of like on
(25:32):
repeat in my head.
I go through phases where it'sworse, and this is one of the
times where I'm probablystruggling a little bit more.
It's just like I'm not goodenough, I'm not.
You know what women tell us.
I'm not skinny enough, I'm notthis, I'm not.
You know what women tell uswe're not, I'm not skinny enough
, I'm not this, I'm not, that,I'm not.
And that's kind of like what'son my repeat list in my head
(25:52):
right now.
It's just one of those timeswhere I mean it's not always
rainbows and butterflies, and soI my butterflies kind of flew
away.
I got to catch them.
So that's kind of where I'm atright now.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Yeah, it's kind of a.
It's a.
Someone asked me the other daythey're like I hadn't seen them
in a while.
We ran into them and she waslike how are you guys?
And I'm like we're good, youknow the standard answer.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
You quickly changed your answer, I noticed.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
I was like, well, you know, it's a new season, it's a
season we're trying to figureout, and she didn't know what I
meant by that.
But I'm like our kids are gone,we got a grandkid.
Life is just different, likefor me, because I was in the
church world and I was in thatjob and then when that job just
kind of went away, I was back inreal estate and I've been doing
(26:44):
real estate for seven years butI love it, but it's not, it's
not my passion, it's not thething that, just like man, I
really want to do that I don'tget up where your valley is
right now.
Yeah, my valley is,professionally I'm I'm at 52 and
when you look at my resume,I've done a lot of stuff got a
lot done, a lot of really coolstuff too.
(27:05):
Yeah, some really fun, coolthings.
But people look at me andthey're like why are you looking
for a job?
It's time for you to beretiring.
Why don't you sit down Likeit's not time to get?
And it's interesting to me,that's the feeling I get when
I'm in that.
And so then it starts to affectyou emotionally and mentally in
the sense of, well, nobodyreally wants what I have or
(27:29):
nobody wants what I have tooffer.
And because they look at myresume and say you've been
self-employed, you've been at achurch One of those two and
those don't fit where we're at,and it's like, no, I've done
sales, I've done this, I've doneI mean, I've done so many
things.
It's almost ridiculous.
But you get to a point whereyou're like I think the low for
me and this is a hundred percentbeing honest and this is I
(27:50):
don't even can't believe I'mgonna share this on a podcast.
But, um, I even applied like Ijust wanted a job to go hang out
with people like I want to bearound people.
I applied for a job, uh, at homedepot.
I I that is my second home,because I do, yeah, a lot of
stuff like I literally knowwhere everything is at home
depot, like I've helped peopleworking there find things and
(28:14):
figure out how to do things, andso I applied for jobs.
Like this is a shoo-in, this iseasy.
I didn't even get a call back.
They didn't even want to talkto me and and I was like what in
the world?
Like it's just weird, and I'mlike, okay, god are you?
What are you trying to teach me?
What are you trying to show me?
Cause I, for me, it's like Iwanted to do something.
I want to do something that hasmeaning, and that's one thing I
(28:37):
love about this podcast.
Even baggage claim Like we are.
Of course, we're not gettingpaid right now, we're paying for
all of our stuff, but it's morefor me, about helping people,
just putting it out there,because my self-worth, your
(28:58):
self-worth, comes from ourbaggage that someone gave us a
long time ago, either throughwords, through actions, through
whatever it is that we became.
We developed this picture ofwho we are in our heads and then
sometimes we spend the rest ofour life trying to unpack that
and fight against that so manytimes.
But you know, for me,professionally, my valley would
be like that's where I'm at inmy valley to go, I'm not even
(29:19):
hireable and I'm not trying to.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
I mean I don't You're not.
Woe is me, we're just beinghonest.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
But yeah, it's just like but I'm not my average.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I don't think I'm an average 52 year old.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
You're not an average 52 year old, like I try to sign
up for stupid races, thatsomething that challenges me.
Like I want to try to go do thehard things still.
Like I'm not done, like I don'twant to be done in life.
I don't want to.
You know, I don't want to putin the towel.
I don't think I'll retirebecause I just don't think I
want to ever do that.
I just always want to be doingsomething that's fun and
(29:51):
something that matters,something that gives some
substance to it.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
Well, can I ask yeah, this is a question for both of
y'all, and y'all can tell me ifthis is like repeating things
that maybe I'll said in the lastepisode.
But you're talking aboutself-worth and, and you know how
we fuel or how that getsdrained how would you say that
affects you on a daily andweekly basis, when your
(30:17):
self-worth is?
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Individually or as a couple, Cause that's Well, and
or both I mean my immediatethought is individually but, I
can understand like it probablyplays a big part more so.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Mind effect.
Like I'm a people guy, I getenergy from being around people.
Right now, my jobs are very me,it's just me, a lot of me, like
go out, generate work, go out,find work, go out, do those
things.
It's not a lot around people,it's not geared around a lot of
people.
You're generating and doing alot, and so for me that starts
(30:53):
to affect me and then Jess feedsoff of my energy so many times
at our house and then it justwhich is a lot of weight, you
know, and it's not always fun tobe like, oh God, that's on me,
but at the same time that's onme.
You know, I'm listening to abook Don't Believe Everything
(31:14):
you Think which is a really goodbook, but it's talking about
controlling our thoughts,because our negative thoughts
control so much of ours.
Like when I want to seesomething negative, all I'm
going to see is the negative,and so trying but that's almost
like just trying to get yourselfover that to be like no, no,
I'm not going to do that yeah.
(31:35):
I'm going to think positive.
Yeah, how do you do that?
Speaker 3 (31:37):
we talked about that earlier.
How do you do that one?
Speaker 2 (31:40):
too, like for me as a Christian, the what's on repeat
in my head is I'm not goodenough, but also I know who I am
in Christ.
And so when I'm saying it outloud I hear myself like I'm
talking out of both sides of mymouth Like I'm not good enough,
but then also I know I am, Iknow I have value.
(32:01):
So then it's like not that Ibeat myself up, but it's kind of
like come on, it's just, it's aweird battle, it's an inside
battle.
It's so weird, it's so hard toget past that and just shut it
off.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
That's that bag you have to unpack all the time.
Yeah, all the time.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
Like it's a constant unpacking.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Yeah, like we just went on vacation last week to
the time, Like it's a constant.
It's like a consistentunpacking.
Yeah, Like we just went onvacation last week to the beach.
When we got there, I unloadedmy portion of the suitcase.
I hung everything up, put it indrawers.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
This has been a 13-year-long battle of what
you're about to talk about.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
I put all my stuff in hangers that needed to be hung
up and in drawers.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
And put it in drawers and organize my stuff.
Your shoes are in the closetlined up.
Yeah, you're one of those guysOrganize.
And then Jess literally pullsfrom and throws into the
suitcase.
I don't thank you.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
I don't unpack, ever, ever, ever, Well are you going
to put your stuff in a drawerthat's not yours?
I'm not, and you're going tohave to take it right back out
by the end of the week Exactlyyours, and you're going to have
to take it right back out by theend of the week.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
I'm not.
I'm totally not, exactly, I'mgoing to put mine up your crowd.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
Absolutely not.
I'm putting my drawers insomebody else's drawers.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Is that the only reason?
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Yeah, no, I can't.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Like if, on our sometimes we go to the resort in
Mexico that we like I'll takenice dresses and so when we get
there I do need to hang those up.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
Okay, that's understandable.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
But literally everything else stays in my
suitcase.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
I hang all of those.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
He hangs even his t-shirts up.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
I'll hang my t-shirts .
If they have the hangers withthe little clips.
I'll hang my shorts up.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
Yes, oh my gosh, you hang your shorts up, greg.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
I'm learning so much about you in my closet now all
your short dark, except for yourwork shorts yeah, just my golf
ones, that's interesting it is,and I don't understand why.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Like that's something for me, like I don't want my
stuff there, I want it unpackedand totally uh, because we
talked about but it's one ofthose things it's like when we
get ready, all right, I'mpacking all my stuff back up in
there.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Mine's already there alright, I'm packing all my
stuff back up in there.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Mine's already there maybe, maybe that's debatable
and so it's.
It's such a hassle sometimes tobe like.
I've already fought this battle, I've already had this struggle
.
Why am I having this struggleagain?
Why am I going through thisagain and you constantly are
(34:23):
just you gotta unpack it andprocess it, and unpack it and
process it, and unpack it andprocess it Kind of going back to
talking about.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
We talked about our self-worth a lot, but self-care
Part of me working on that handin hand my self-worth is, like I
mentioned earlier that, workingout and blah, blah, blah, blah.
How about you with self-care,mr Peck?
Speaker 1 (34:49):
I started playing golf.
Yeah, literally that was I toldJess.
I was like I just want to playgolf just because I don't want
to think about anything.
You want to go out there, justwant to play and hang out with
friends.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Would you say, self-care is something that you
are consistently good at.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
No, I suck at it.
It's horrible for me.
I'm not good and so even youknow I'll make the excuse.
Well, golf is expensive, butwhen money was tight we would
just go to the driving range andspend $10 and hit buckets of
balls.
Yeah, because we'd just go onthe chipping.
(35:24):
Yeah, we would hit balls andthen we'd go over and just chip
and do fun little chipping games.
I don't know, I always find areason not to.
Sorry, I snatched my mic.
I always find reasons not toand I don't know why.
What?
Speaker 3 (35:43):
drives you to do it, though, like when you do it
because I'm sure you've lookedback in seasons of your life.
What drives you to do it?
man, that's a good question andI say that you may not have an
answer right now, and that'sfine, but like I say that and
honestly, right now, in like myseason of life, like I feel like
I'm in a valley and I've beenin a valley for a while and it
(36:09):
you know and on like today, thisweek, like these are thoughts
I've had like OK, why are younot out yet?
You're not motivated to do thesethings.
And that's even why I ask youknow, like, how does that affect
your day to day life?
Because, like for me, myself-worth tremendously affects
my day to day life.
You know, there's, there'sareas of my life where I'm
extremely confident.
I know what I'm doing, I've gota ground to stand on and I can
(36:32):
move forward in that.
But when it comes to, like, someareas of my personal life
emotionally, mentally and someof the things I'm doing in
personal growth in my own life,whether it like be at my house,
my property, things like thatwhere it feels like I'm not
getting where I want to be orwhere it feels like I should be,
and so I can be very hard onmyself for that you know whether
(36:53):
it be timing or whether it bethat I get to a weekend and it's
been a crazy long week, whetherit be with work and or family
or everything else that's goingon and then I'm like shoot, it's
Saturday, this is like my oneday off.
The last thing I want to do isgo work on something to build my
own life, yeah, and so it'll belike I'll just chill, hang out
(37:14):
with Max, my dog, beautifulblack lab, you know.
But it's that.
And so, like my question, andthese are things I'm asking
myself is okay, you've hadseasons of that motivation where
you were intentional to fightfor those health things in your
life, so why are you not doingthose right now?
So what is that that's keepingyou from doing it?
And I don't know if it's okay.
(37:34):
Well, it's a margin of time.
I need to cut back on things sothat I can or maybe it's okay.
Well, I know I don't have theexact same community that I had
had before, so maybe that makesa difference, you know.
And so just question fordiscussion is to say what, if
(37:56):
you look back on your life, ifthere things you know that
motivated you to work on yourself-care, what were those
things and what would youpropose as a game plan going
forward?
Speaker 2 (38:03):
because, that's kind of where I'm at and I don't have
an answer for it, right?
Speaker 3 (38:06):
right, but it's like okay, I know I've been in this
kind of season before and I havedefinitely pushed forward and
worked through it.
What motivated me to do that?
Speaker 2 (38:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
Because right now I don't feel motivated to do that.
You know, it's like I'd muchrather just chill in and watch
movies on a Saturday than towork on my own health right now.
Right, literally, whether it bephysical, emotional, mental,
all of the above, like.
That's where I feel, like I'mat, and so it's a okay.
I know I've done it before, butwhat are you going to do that
(38:39):
motivates yourself to do it?
Speaker 1 (38:40):
again.
For me it's almost setting aplan out in place, like a plan
to actually go.
I'm going to go do this.
I'm going to go do it Likephysically, like last year I was
signed up for a 50-mile raceand so I started running and
training and then jacked myankle up two months out, a month
(39:03):
out, and so it was just likeokay, like those things helped
me be accountable.
In that, I guess, for me it'salmost putting together a plan
or having, like you and I arestill, we've said, hey, let's
read through a book.
Even now, not even beingtogether, it's just hard because
of proximity.
Since February we haven't Rightand so we have those different
(39:27):
things.
It's like okay, put a plan andthen execute, like go do it,
like put the steps out.
Like Jess and I are having thisconversation today and I was
like I don't know what broughtmy mind here, but I was like
it's so frustrating for me ashumans how we do things, because
(39:47):
I'm like everybody else, likewe only make a change or we only
do something when the painbecomes so great that we want
change, like we don't reallywork on our marriage, like we
don't really want to listen tobaggage claim and go.
Man, I hope I get a good nuggetthat's going to make my
marriage better.
Hopefully you are, hopefullyyou're listening to that thing
(40:08):
and hopefully you're not going.
Okay, things are on fire andI'm looking for a bucket of
water not going okay.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
things are on fire and I'm looking for a bucket of
water, but a lot of folks dowait till it's too broken and
then try to fix it, rather thankind of looking at signs along
the way.
Like even this conversationwe're having now was like, yeah,
things are not sunshine andrainbows, we're not on fire
either, but it's just kind oflike we need to identify where
we're at and figure out how tomove forward.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
But as humans, we don't go on diets until we
realize we're just too fat orwe're unhealthy and we want
change.
We don't, I mean like we don'tmake change, we don't start
looking for help until we'vedestroyed things.
And so it's almost like why dowe have to wait there?
Why can't we put together aplan?
And I'm saying I'm saying thisas I'm looking at myself,
(40:57):
thinking I need the same thingto go.
Okay, I want to be here, likeright now, I have three
opportunities in front of me,three decent opportunities, not
three two, two really goodopportunities in front of me.
I'm not sure which ones I wantto go full on into and put all
my eggs in that basket.
And so, therefore, I feel likeI'm that truck stuck in the mud
(41:20):
and every now and then I go, I'mgoing to hit the gas and hit
the gas and just spin the tiresand I'm like I just because it's
not a consistent effort in thatdirection of what I want.
So it's almost like put togethera plan, greg, for where we
wanna go, and then let's executeand let's start day by day and
move forward step by step andget somebody to go with you.
I'm at a point in my life whereI don't wanna do things on my
(41:43):
own, like I wanna go onadventures.
I wanna go still climbmountains.
I still wanna go see parts ofthe world that I haven't seen.
I don't want to go do it bymyself, I want to go with
someone and professionally.
Wherever I'm at in my life, Iwant to go with people.
I wanted to be with people inthis journey because I mean,
(42:04):
we're getting one shot at this.
This is it, you know.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
I think what then?
Rewinding a little bit of whatyou said connects with me a lot,
because I've been asking thesequestions.
All of these are questions I'veprobably been asking myself for
the past month or two that I'venot had answers for, to be
honest, and not had people totalk with yet to be able to
flesh some of these thoughts out.
(42:29):
But you said something Scheduleit and do it, just do it, do it,
make it happen.
And and I remember that becausewhen it came back to us playing
golf first off, we saw eachother every day because we
worked with each other, yeah,but I remember there were
numerous times where we didn'thave time to do it- and we still
planned something out a monthin advance.
Yeah, because we're like ifit's not on the calendar, we're
(42:51):
not doing it.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, because life will getbusy, life will take you away,
pull you, distract you from allsorts of other different things.
But another thing you weretalking about brought up another
thought, because we can veryeasily sit aside in and I'm just
being brutally honest, becausethis is where I feel like I've
(43:12):
ebbed and flowed with thisspecific concept over the past
two years, and it can be healthyto ebb and flow, but it's this
there was a book we read, and Idon't remember which one, who it
was, but I remember alsotalking about this in my
counseling at the time was, if Iam coping with where I'm at, I
(43:33):
am not thriving, because copingand thriving cannot coexist.
Wow, and so, like for me, itwas okay.
There was a lot of mentalthings I was going through
mental battles just especiallywith my divorce.
I remember there was a lot ofthings.
I had to distract myself fromthat so that I didn't have to
(43:53):
think through things that weregoing on.
But I remember there was.
There was a very evident andclear time in my life where I
was like no, I'm not going todistract myself from this
thought, I'm going to processthis thought, think it through
till it's end, complete thisthought and be done with it.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
You know, and it's not to say, those thoughts
didn't come back to my mind,whether it be a self-reflection
or anger and frustration ofcircumstances that I was a part
of.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
It was even when they came back, it was like no,
you've already wrestled thisthought, you don't have to spend
any more energy on that.
You don't have to spend anymore of your own personal
capacity of margin and youremotions to do that, but I feel
like right now it's actuallyhitting me in the same way, but
a completely different aspect ofmy life Time emotion, things
like that.
(44:39):
Where it feels like I do,because I do Like I'll get to a
weekend, I'll be like shoot.
The last thing I want to do isdo anything.
I just want to be alone.
Yeah, you know which can bereally really great and can be
healthy.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
It's not a great place to stay.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
Yeah, no, exactly On the flip side, it can also be
very unhealthy, and so one ofthe biggest life-changing things
for me was being able to startturning that key, even slowly,
even if it's one thing a week,even if it's one thing a day,
whatever that is.
But yeah, no, I think we needto schedule a golf game, is what
I'm hearing.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Jess, I don't know if you are getting that.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
I'll just go pick up the grandbaby and we'll go hang
out All right.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
So we're here's something I think would be.
I just had a thought.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
Oh boy.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Yeah, this could be.
Why don't we lay out somethinglike because this is kind of a
different, there's really nounpacked portion of this I don't
feel like.
So why don't we go around thetable and say here's one thing
I'm going to do to move forward,to take a step forward from
(45:48):
where I'm at now, to make me ahealthier person was the one
thing I love this, let's go.
And so I have one that I have.
I have one and I'm going to sayit, and I hope every single
person that listens to thispodcast, who follows us on
socials, holds me accountablefor this, because saying it out
(46:08):
loud maybe is kind of away fromme.
Saying it out loud maybe iskind of a way for me.
I started this thing about 10years ago that I wanted to share
with my kids, and it was called40 by 40.
It was the 40 life lessons I'velearned over the 40 years of my
life, and some of them werereally fun.
Some of them they all have astory attached to them, but I
(46:31):
was writing them out and, fyi,everybody, I suck at writing.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
I'm not very good at it, you're a good storyteller,
and so that's how you write itfrom that point of view, the
ones that you did write weregreat.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
So my thing is, I'm going to start posting to my
Instagram and my TikTok and I'mgoing to do since I'm now 50,
I'm going to do my 50 by 50.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
Oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
And I'm going to record my stories and share them
instead of writing them, so youcan log on and hear a story
Like.
One of them was called SilverDollar Living which is when and
it's going to be hard for me notto be emotional in some of
these, but when I lost my nephew18, to a car wreck and had to
do his funeral.
There's some that are just likethe very first time I run my
(47:18):
half marathon stories of isBigfoot real Like.
There's just.
Some of them are fun.
Some of them are about buildingbusinesses where I've come from
, what I've walked through.
But that's one thing I'm goingto do because I felt like I
wanted to do it for any otherreason than just to have it out
there so my kids, if they can'tread it, they can watch it,
(47:40):
because once it's out there onsocial media and in the world,
it's always there, and so it'lljust be something for me that I
think will be fun and good forme to just flesh that out that
I've been wanting to do and Ijust haven't done it.
So there's no, there's nothingbehind it other than just
sharing my ridiculous life.
(48:00):
So I'll follow Okay.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
Good, because I don't have anything.
Speaker 3 (48:07):
Oh, you're saying I'll follow the social media.
Oh.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
I thought you were saying you're going next because
I have.
I mean, I'm 47 and I'vestruggled with negative thoughts
about myself my whole entirelife and I don't know how to
stop that.
Just to be completely honest.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
What if you read a book that helped change that
Like?
What if you, because you're areader in the summer, what if
you read a book?
You went and found a book thatwas about the way you think, or
changing the way you think?
I mean, that's the crazy partabout our minds.
We get to control our thoughts.
We get to control our thoughts,but then we don't.
(48:44):
We suck at it.
Speaker 3 (48:46):
I do, but at the same time our thoughts can so easily
control us.
Speaker 1 (48:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:51):
Mine certainly do.
I mean my last month, I feel,has been, has been that way.
That's just an idea and youknow that.
But no, I actually have a fewfew things and they're not like
as grand as yours, that's notright.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
That is not grand, that's actually humiliating.
Mine are a lot of things thatare more inward focused.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
Um so, for me, one is captivating thoughts, and I'm
not going to lie, it's not likeI have a plan.
Yeah, it's not and honestly theonly thing I know to do is to
stop distracting myself fromthose thoughts, because a lot of
times I'll have negativethoughts, whether it be about
where I'm at financially, likewith my house and things like
(49:34):
that, and it just irritates me.
You know, to the point that I'mlike, no, screw it, just stop,
just stop thinking about it.
No, I'm going to wrestle thosethoughts down.
And what that meant for mebefore like in my divorce and
what I was going through meantfor me before, like in my
(49:55):
divorce and in what I was goingthrough, literally what that
looked like was me with a coupleof drinks sitting on my back
porch at probably anywhere from8 pm to about 3 or 4 am by
myself, no music, nothing, justme.
Speaker 2 (50:07):
Yeah, thinking and honestly, a lot of it's also
praying, because I get reallyreally frustrated at the
thoughts and ticked off.
Speaker 3 (50:14):
And then I'm like oh my goodness, god, please calm my
spirit so I can keep workingthrough this and back in the
time a couple of years ago, Iwrestled a lot of things down
that way and that made a bigdifference for me.
That that made a big differencefor me.
(50:35):
Um, I'm not, and it's crazyjust how you life gets by you
and then you forget things thatyou've had in place that hold
you to um, be healthy.
And I have looking back.
I can't tell you the last timeI've done that in the past year,
like that I've had any majormental wrestlings with myself to
keep me true and not allowmyself to become affected by
those thoughts.
And and you know that we'vetalked a lot of those things
(50:57):
about, um, some currentsituations I'm going through and
and you even know this like itcould be one week we're talking
and I'm on one side of the boardand the next week I know I've
done that at least three or fourtimes.
Yeah, I come back and we talkand I'm a completely on the
other side of the board andthere's so many elements that
come with that but wrestling mythoughts, wrestling them down
and you know the scripture thatsays I take every thought
(51:18):
captive to the obedience ofGod's word, being intentional to
do that, because, looking backat my life, I've had a lot of
things that I've allowed myselfto distract my own mind from
those things and I've notwrestled those thoughts down,
and that has weighed a lot on myself-worth.
Secondly and I've shared thiswith you the past few weeks I've
(51:40):
acknowledged that my lifeseason right now is so busy that
on any given week I'm usuallybusy Monday through Thursday,
and then, of course, I work onSundays.
Monday through Thursday I'musually gone doing stuff until
about nine or 10 o'clock atnight, every day.
(52:01):
Yeah, and that also starts withwork in the morning, then I
think I do have to work and, um,however that looks like,
whatever that looks like, I'mnot sure.
But, and even if that doesn'tchange, cause there's some
things in that schedule that I Idon't really feel like needs to
change right now, but maybeit's weekends, you know, being
more intentional to be withfriends yeah, because I've got
(52:24):
so many friends, that that livein this area and I'm in my, my
mid-30s and so, like early 30s,I'll say 33 there you go.
I'm still early, yeah you'reearly, go early, yeah, yeah,
you're early 30s.
Speaker 1 (52:33):
I'll say 33.
There you go.
I'm still early, yeah you'reearly, go early 30s yeah, you're
early 30s till you're 35.
Speaker 2 (52:37):
Two more years.
Speaker 3 (52:39):
Two more years.
No, I feel like I can so easilybe alone right now.
I mean, even though I know wedo this every week we grab
dinner and it's awesome becausethis is probably one of the
biggest bucket fillers in mylife.
Just emotional fulfillment iscoming over.
We grab dinner.
Greg grilled his.
We call him Greg.
Speaker 2 (52:56):
Burgers Greg Burgers Best hamburgers in the whole
world.
Speaker 3 (52:59):
Literally the best burgers I've had.
Speaker 2 (53:01):
I told Michael I was like on the way home from
vacation Saturday I told Greg Iwas like I got to have some Greg
Burgers as soon as possible.
They're so good.
Speaker 3 (53:09):
But no, that's been great, but I need some more of
my community life, buildingfriends around me more, and I
need to do that more.
So those are two things thatI'm really going to dive after
for the rest of the summerBecause I know, looking back in
my life, those are things thathave built me up and I need to
do that because I've not donethat probably since last fall
(53:30):
Easy, since last fall.
Speaker 1 (53:32):
Yeah, okay, what do you got?
Got anything.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (53:38):
No, okay.
Speaker 2 (53:40):
I took my turn, remember Okay.
Speaker 1 (53:44):
So here's the thing.
I would love you guys that areout there listening.
If you want to hear moreMichael, let us know.
Lisa got your text through ourpodcast today.
Speaker 2 (53:57):
Thank, you so much for listening.
We have a new listener, afriend of mine from way back.
Love her to pieces.
Thank you for listening, Lisa.
Speaker 1 (54:02):
Yeah, just make sure to let us know, follow us, hold
us accountable for these things.
If you found what we've talkedabout tonight to be useful or
hits home, reach out to us, letus know, be involved in this
conversation with us.
This is not just one-sided.
We want you to be a part of acommunity with us where we can
share where we're at and wherewe're going and, you know, tie
(54:26):
ropes to each other and drageach other up the mountain
sometimes, if we need to.
Speaker 2 (54:30):
Help me find my butterflies again, right yeah
exactly.
Speaker 1 (54:34):
So anything else to add before we wrap up?
I don't think so All right.
Well, thanks everybody forjoining us.
Thanks for letting me be onhere tonight.
Speaker 3 (54:41):
Yeah, dude, thanks for being here.
It was new and different, Idon't know.
Speaker 2 (54:43):
Hey this is our 20th episode.
Thanks for joining us fornumber 20.
Speaker 1 (54:47):
Yeah, I'm so glad you're is awesome.
So thank you guys for joiningand have a good day.
Hey guys, what's up?
I'm Greg.
I hope you guys are ready tounpack and get into some good
conversations today.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast Baggage
Claim.
Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Welcome to Baggage Claim everybody.
I don't know why my arms are inthe air, but I'm excited about
today.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
You just threw them up there, man.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Yeah, I am.
This is our 20th episode, andso we're doing things a little
different.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Yeah, if you just heard that mysterious voice,
yeah, that is.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Producer Michael is at the table At the table with
us.
So welcome to Baggage Claim.
It's your first time here.
It's going to be different fromall the other times, and that's
completely okay.
Baggage claim is a place wherewe want to create some
conversations and buildcommunity around blended
families and relationships, andso today we have Michael at the
(00:54):
table with us and so it's goingto be fun, and we have no idea
how this is going to go.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Yeah we're going to see I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
I've not done this before.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Well, and usually in my handy dandy notebook we've
got like an outline.
We kind of know where we'regoing and what do we have
tonight, Like 14 words.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Yeah, we have no outline.
Yes, it's a lot of scribbles,let's do it and you know this
makes Jess's anxiety go throughthe the roof, but we were.
Yeah, my hands are sweaty.
We're trying to go, Likeliterally we're trying to get
into part two of where westarted last week, where we left
off talking about self-care.
(01:33):
We're talking about selfishnessversus selflessness.
We talked about self-care andself-worth and those things.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
So we left off last time, talking about too a big
chunk of our conversation towardthe end was about trading time,
and there's always some kind oftrade-off if you're trading
time for money or whatever.
And then we touched on, too,about how your time is limited.
Everybody's time is limited.
We don't know how long we have,and so whatever moments we have
(02:02):
together are precious.
And then we started talkingabout, like you said,
selfishness versus self-care andjust talked a little bit about
that.
So we're going to try.
The hope is we're going to goin that direction and kind of
talk about the differencebetween the two, something that
(02:23):
you brought up too, because weactually listened to the last
podcast.
I don't like to listen to them.
I don't want to hear my ownvoice ever.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Jess actually got mad at herself because you got
emotional three times.
It was just like just shut up.
I would have turned myself offalready.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
I would have.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
And so I was like it doesn't happen every episode.
That's the first time you'velistened to it, though.
Yeah, I read it, episode 19,first time.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Yeah, I will read the transcripts, but I don't want
to hear my own self, Wow okay.
Yeah, but something that yousaid was if you could ask
yourself are you good atself-care?
And maybe kind of do somereflection too about not you
personally, but you in general.
Or, you know, are you selfishabout something that you may not
(03:07):
realize that you're selfishabout?
And that's why we wanted totalk a little bit more about the
difference between the two.
And just one more thing tocover from last time.
You made a really goodstatement too.
You had a lot of good statements, oh, wow, Now these are the
very few things I have writtenin my book, or some things that
you said.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
It was my highlight reel from last episode.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
It was you said we were talking about the Bible
verse about love your neighboras yourself, and you said if I
can't love myself well, then howcan I be expected to love my
neighbor well?
And in this situation, yourspouse, partner?
You know, if you can't loveyourself well, how can you love
others well?
And so that's what led us kindof down this pathway, is now
(03:54):
we're going to be kind of tryingto dive into the difference
between self-care andselfishness.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Before we dive into them, will you read the
definitions that we came up with?
Yes, for the separate, the twoseparate ones.
So it's going to help form ourconversation.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Talking and talking and kind of picking out what we
think, we came to the conclusionin our opinion.
This is just our opinion.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yes, our thoughts.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
That self-care is actively taking care of yourself
to improve your overallwell-being is self-care.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Right, emotional, mental, physical, spiritual,
those type things yes.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
For improving your well-being.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Yeah, overall.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Versus selfishness is to prioritize your own needs
and desires at the expense ofothers.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Yeah, did we have a definition for self-care?
Speaker 2 (04:49):
We didn't, did we?
That's the first thing we justsaid was self-care.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
We just said that Okay, wow, nailed it.
Thank you, sir.
Can we repeat the definitionfor self-care?
I will be happy to.
I will repeat both of them.
Hey, look at my face.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Okay, self-care.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
I'm with you.
I got it.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
You're still not looking at me.
I'm trying.
Self-care is actively takingcare of your own self to improve
your overall well-being.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
That's right.
Yeah, I just added to that.
Oh my gosh, you did.
You added to that.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
It's a great definition.
Thank you, and then you ready,mm-hmm.
Selfishness is to prioritizeyour own needs and desires at
the expense of others.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Gotcha, you feel good about it, I'm good.
Okay, can I kick off theepisode, though?
Well, we've already kicked itoff.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
We are, I don't even know what you call this.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
You can go to the next section, second kick.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
This is the second kick, maybe Second down it's
halftime.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Halftime already.
No, it's not halftime.
We're on the second man.
This is a short episode nosecond down.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
We're four minutes in .
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Oh God, life has seasons.
Yeah, can we agree about thataround the table?
Yeah, and some of those seasonsare We've mentioned seasons
several times.
Yeah, there's winter there's,and winter's coming, winter's
coming, winter's coming, game ofThrones, and so then there's.
So then there's right nowSummer.
(06:19):
It's just hot.
In Georgia we had spring whereit rained, and it's just hot.
In Georgia, we had spring whereit rained, and it's very stormy
.
You know, we got fall, which isthe best time of the year, fall
is coming.
It is the best by far, the besttime of the year.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Do you realize— we're going to have fake fall towards
the end of August, first ofOctober, and it's going to get
hot again, do you?
Speaker 1 (06:36):
realize it's July.
It's July First.
It's July, july 1st.
We're recording.
This will come out next week,and so a month next month, in
August, we will be watchingcollege football.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Yes, let's go.
How awesome is that.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
It's a blessing.
Anyway, seasons, that's whenall is right in the world.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Sometimes we have good seasons, sometimes we have
rough seasons.
Life is all about hills andvalleys.
Valleys are sometimes fun whenthere's cool rivers in them.
Sometimes there's not, andsometimes there's mountains, and
so we're just going to bestraight up honest tonight.
I am at least I hope you guyschoose to and just share where
(07:21):
we're at in life, and sometimesit's not pretty, and it may be I
don't know, it may not berainbows and butterflies.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
It's not, it's not fun.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
But yeah, it's not fun sometimes, but we're just
going to be real with it.
So are we?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
good with that.
All I have to say we're in avalley, honey.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Yeah, there's some daisies in this valley, but yeah
, we're in the valley, so, butwe have Michael.
You guys don't know a lot aboutMichael because he's usually
just behind the computer tellingus hey, this is how long you've
been talking, be quiet, talkinto your mic more, stop moving,
Greg, stop doing these things.
It's usually what Michael's jobis.
(08:04):
So, michael, tell us a littlebit about you, your journey,
quick, yeah, quick synopsis.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Well, first off, speaking of valleys, I feel like
I'm in a valley right now.
It's interesting because thereare different seasons of life.
In ways I feel like there's avalley, in ways there's not, and
so now I'll say that and we'llspeak more to that, but start
from the beginning.
You know, maybe not thebeginning, but I've known you
(08:33):
for that's a good question.
Five years yeah, I think it'sabout five, five or six years,
yeah, yeah yeah, right wellabout five, because it was right
after covid 2020, that's right,yep, yeah, so uh, you came on
staff at the church where I wasworking and actually we got
paired up like your first weekon staff.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yeah, it was weird.
They just paired me with.
They're like hey, we're goingto pair people up.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
I didn't know anyone there and they called it others
which the mindset is get withyour other, get with the other
person that you're with and justdo ministry together, do life
together, do work together, doeverything, and you guys chose
to do a book together.
Yeah, we did.
So the first thing, I rememberthe first day we immediately
went.
We walked across the street andwent to that what is it?
Burger and Shake 3, I think isthe name of that restaurant and
(09:18):
it was so good.
We got the Korean dumplings andprobably a Philly cheesesteak,
which is like the weirdestcombination you can possibly get
at a restaurant.
But it was all good.
And, yeah, we went through abook and then, a year later I
think, we went through abouteight books that year.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
That became your thing.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
It really did, and we started doing coffee all the
time and so one just kind ofconnected big time over that.
But in that time I had been infull-time uh ministry not all of
it was full time, but at thatpoint, about six years, at that
point, when we first met and, um, I do worship, that's kind of
the world music I'm in, um, donethat, and uh, kind of my life
(10:01):
was in a crazy awesome season,just Kind of my life was in a
crazy awesome season Just up.
I had great mentors in my life,you being one of them, you know
just kind of growing, learning.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
And no, just working through life.
It was a good time for both ofyou, by chance how we got
together and we just clicked.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
And I know I can speak for me, but having that
mentor, having someone in yourlife that you're consistently
meeting with and in that seasonI had like three people that I
was doing that with and it ledto a tremendous season of growth
, a tremendous season ofmaturity in my own life and in
leadership, but also how to knowpeople better, how to lead
(10:42):
people better, that kind ofthing.
And ended up meeting a girl.
She joined my small group andwe got married and shortly after
it wasn't even a year and shejust kind of decided it wasn't
for her.
And so now, about two years ago, I ended up getting divorced,
which is crazy.
(11:02):
That was two years ago.
That's crazy.
I remember walking.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
I feel like that was two years ago.
That's crazy.
It was crazy.
I remember walking, because itdoes not feel like it was two
years ago yeah, and that wasanother thing.
I felt like God brought usanother, not the reason, but
another reason he brought ustogether.
Oh absolutely to walk throughthat with you, yeah, and so it
was just it was sad.
It was sad for it was both youguys, for you, it was just tough
(11:24):
, yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
And you've become a part of our family.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Oh yeah, Very much so I'll gladly be called a peck.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I'm very grateful.
Careful, there's some roughpecks out there.
I don't know that side of thefamily.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
But no, very, very grateful to have met y'all.
Have y'all been a part of mylife?
Be a part of y'all's lifewatching Georgia games.
I'll say this you have turnedme.
I have never been a collegesupporter, of any college, and I
will say now with confidenceI'm a Georgia football fan big
time.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
I have.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Many nights over here at y'all's house watching
football games.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
But no, just going back to the whole hills and
valleys, seasons of life, Ithink probably the biggest thing
for me is, once I recognizedseasons, it was a lot easier for
me to navigate them, gotcha.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
It is helpful to keep in your mind that you're not
stuck where you are.
Yeah, because I think somepeople might get stuck.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Yeah, oh, no, absolutely.
And so like for me, you knowwe'd always talked about seasons
, you know, especially like inchurch world, like there's a lot
of season that come and go,ebbs and flows with the season
of ministry and basically rhythmthroughout the year, and I
never really it's not that Ididn't take it to heart, but I
didn't have like a tangible onmy personal life when it came to
(12:48):
seasons and, man, when I hadthat hard season in my life,
going through divorce, it wasevident that seasons turned for
me.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Wow, and yeah it's not easy for sure.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
But yeah, I'd definitely say it's not easy
going alone.
No, not at all.
So that's a little bit about meand I know we're just kind of
seeing where it goes tonight.
But yeah, a little bit about me.
And I'd say this if I were tosay any one thing about seasons
is don't go about seasons alone,don't Don't.
(13:24):
You've always got to havepeople to run with you, work
with you, especially when you'regetting tired and you're rough
and beating yourself up Becauseit happens.
I mean, we all have that innervoice that we speak to ourselves
in, and there's alwayssomething like that.
But don't go it alone.
You know, be open, bevulnerable, share.
I mean, greg, I think I'veshared more with you about my
(13:44):
life than I have anybody else.
Maybe outside of some of mybrothers but no, be open and be
real with people, because whenyou know there's people who have
your back and want to help yousucceed, that you can follow
criticism, you can follow advice, and it changes a lot in your
mental and emotional state.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Well, sometimes it's good to know you're not by
yourself.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
You know, it's like Well, dude, and sometimes it's
just simply knowing you're notby yourself.
Like I remember, there weremany times I just didn't want to
be at my house, I didn't wantto be alone.
I just didn't want to really doanything, but I also didn't
want to do anything either, likeI had no desire to go out or do
anything.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Were you feeling indifferent?
Speaker 3 (14:26):
I would say I was very much so feeling indifferent
.
Jess, I think that's anexcellent way to describe that,
thank you.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
It's not a feeling.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Indifferent is not a feeling For those of you who
don't know, we had probablyabout a 20-minute debate.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
And it's probably recorded.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
It's actually probably even recorded because I
was ready to start.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah, we phoned a friend.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Discussion on how, in different ways we talk about
emotions.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
I feel like Michael was feeling indifferent.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
I was very much so feeling indifferent.
But no, I would just invitepeople over that or we'd go to
the driving range.
We didn't even have to talkabout what was going on.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Just simply to be able to be in community with
others was I do remember, eveneven in that time, if you're in
your office, sometimes I wouldjust come in there with my
computer, just sit down and I'dbe working on something.
You'd be working on something.
Sometimes we wouldn't talk,sometimes we just I just sit in
there.
And so you know, just because Iknow when I walked through that
(15:23):
, just knowing that you're notby yourself is a huge, huge part
of that.
And so in a relationship, likeeven just in any relationship as
a spouse, sometimes you look at, even when you're married to
someone, you feel alone,sometimes like I'm on this
journey by myself, and youforget no, no, no, you're not by
(15:45):
yourself.
There's somebody here with youthat's here to help you through
that.
You know it's an interestingconcept and you guys may look at
me like I'm stupid, but this ishow it works for me.
Like the bigger mountains youclimb, the more technical, the
harder they get.
A lot of times when they'retechnical, you have to.
(16:05):
You climb with partners.
You have climbing partners andyou're roped in together and
there's a good distance betweenyou.
So there's, and you're roped intogether.
So you're usually travelingacross crevasses or ice or
hidden ice things, and sosomebody could fall in.
Then they're a couple hundredfeet deep, and so you've no big
(16:25):
deal.
Yeah, so you're roped into ateam member.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Gosh.
No wonder you used to climb somuch.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
I just heard you say the word crevasse again.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
I never knew that was a word until I met Greg.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Until the idea Okay, we're getting sidetracked.
The idea is that if you fall in,I stop us from going all the
way out and then you self-arrest.
It's just a way of protectingeach other.
Yeah, it's a safety, and themore you have the better.
You want at least probablythree or four, because sometimes
two people get pulled in, soyou got the other.
Anyway, it reminds me becausewhen we were on Rainier going up
(16:59):
and it was dark and I rememberit sucked, it was so cold, it
was dark and I was just prayingthe sun would come up, which we
were a long way from that,because it's like midnight and
my rope, if I looked ahead of me, my rope just disappeared into
the darkness.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
And then when I turned around and looked
backwards, my rope justdisappeared into darkness and I
felt so alone.
But I knew there was somebodytied to the front of that rope
and somebody tied to the back ofthat rope and it's like, no
matter what, I always knew Iwasn't by myself.
And so I always try to look atmy journey in life, either with
my wife and spouse or evenprofessionally, like, hey, don't
(17:38):
go alone, go with somebody.
So if you do fall, you do seesome.
There's a hidden crevasse orthere's something hidden.
You don't see you fall in.
There's somebody there to helpand that's what that's for.
And so it's a.
It's a really interestingconcept for how we live life.
We just, we just don't setourselves up that way, so we
silo ourselves, I feel like,into just life.
(18:01):
Because when you get marriedand you get a professional job
and you do, you're doing yourjob or you're doing your thing,
you come home it's like, how doyou meet people?
Where do you meet people?
Like what do you hang out?
Like what do you find a mentor?
Where do you find somebodythat's going to walk side beside
you and you know, in thosesituations?
And if it's not at work, thenwhere are you finding them?
(18:23):
And so it's kind of a difficultthing sometimes to find that.
So I don't know.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
Well, and also I think, and I just hearing your
example like that that remindsme so much of some of the things
that I walked through over thepast few years is you know you
may not see them right away, butyou know the rope is tied.
You know you may be walkingthrough a valley.
I mean, I know there weremultiple times that I did call
you.
You know whether it be randomwhenever just to be like bro,
can we just?
(18:50):
I mean, I remember immediatelyone time I called you at like
probably 7 pm and I was like bro, can we just?
I need to talk to someone.
So we met at Duncan, but justrandomly, it was like halfway.
We met at Duncan, over there onThompson Bridge, and then, uh,
there was another time where Iwas driving down the road and I
(19:10):
was like I'm not driving homeand I literally have nowhere to
go right now, and I called youand I okay, you brought me over
to your house and we just talkedand uh, but there were also
numerous times that I didn'tcall you as well, and it's not
to say that like oh well, Ishouldn't have or this or that
or should have, but but it wasone of those things where it's
like, okay, I know where I'm at,and I know where I'm at is not
like in a great place because,there was a lot of things I was
(19:31):
wrestling through, strugglingwith just pain, that I was
walking through brokenness, andit was one of those things where
I knew it was there when Ineeded it and it was like, okay,
it may be bad now, but I canwork through this, and I think
that mentality in of itselfhelps you pick yourself up more.
But it also knows that, okay,well, when it's, I know it's
(19:52):
going to be there when I'mfalling.
I can still walk a little bitnow, so I'm going to keep
walking and I remember that alsoin that, going back to what you
were talking about before withthe self-care versus selfishness
, going back to what you weretalking about before with the
self-care versus selfishness,there were so many things that
you spoke into my life that werehelping guide me towards
self-care versus selfishness.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
That's what I was just thinking.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
You read my thoughts, Because it could have been very
easily for me to just shuteverything else down.
You know, with what I was goingthrough, to not care about
anyone else, to just do my ownthing and be like, no, it's just
me.
And in reality there are someways I did that, but I hope and
I pray it didn't come at theexpense of others.
But when you're healing fromsomething like that, it's okay
(20:36):
to be a little selfish to makesure you're okay, but the thing
is and I remember this like itwas in one of the things you
said just a minute ago you'retalking about when you're
climbing up, you know the biggerthe mountain, the more
technicalities there are.
A lot of times we can do thingson our own, but if you had
experience and knowledge ofsomeone else who's walked
through it, they know a lot moreabout the technicalities and
(20:59):
you can walk through things alot easier because you're not
consistently failing because youhaven't gained that experience
yet.
And I remember there would bedays where you would just talk
to me and say, okay, hey, thisis, you know we're.
You're venting, you're goingthrough this thing, but what are
you doing this week for you?
What are you doing this weekthat's fulfilling for you, or it
(21:21):
was okay?
Who have you met with this week?
Like who?
Who of your friends have yougone and intentionally just hung
out with?
Yeah, you know, and I remember,because that was a big,
probably one of the biggestturning points in my life,
because I lived.
I lived in the same house, um,for a few, for about a year.
After, um, that I was in when Iwas married and I was like I
(21:43):
want to get out of this place, Iwant to leave, but I wasn't in
a place to do that, and so itwas like if these memories that
are haunting me of this placethey've got to be replaced.
They've got to be replacedsomehow.
And it was from what you hadsaid, like what friends of yours
are you actively trying to gohang out with just to have a
social life right now?
(22:04):
And I remember I did.
I called like six of my goodbuddies and was like shoot,
we're going to order pizza.
I got a hot tub and we're justgoing to watch whatever and hang
out in the hot tub.
Yeah, eat food, hang out andwhatever it is, play video games
.
And I remember because forabout six months we did that
like every week.
Yeah, me, anda, good group offriends, rj brian um, that's
(22:28):
awesome.
Preston, yeah, um, uh, yeah,josh, a bunch of guys just come
over and I mean we watchedthrough like all of the matrix
movies.
We watched all the john wickmovies we watched oh, we, we
went through so many, but it wasjust good times.
But it all comes back to whenyou have that someone speaking
in your life to not go it alone,but also to be intentional,
that you're doing what you needto do to be healthy emotionally,
(22:51):
mentally.
You know all those things.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
So self-care for you wasn't just you.
Your self-care involved someoneelse.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
But I'll say like it actually grew us tremendously.
You know, when you walk throughhardship with others, it's not
just a growth in you.
Like you said, it grew ourrelationships.
I mean I remember Brian and melike we grew tremendously
through that time and Brian andI were already really good
friends up until that point butwe started doing a lot more
ministry together.
We started doing a lot moreactivities outside of church
(23:23):
world together and it I meanstill great friends.
Talk to him just last week likewe still hang out and talk all
the time and so it's a yeah,it's not just you that it
affects, right?
Speaker 1 (23:34):
yeah we played a lot of golf we did play.
We spent a lot of time in thedriving range and Jess was very
young golf yes, we did, jess wasvery nice and letting me just
go play golf.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
I think we played golf almost every weekend that
whole summer.
Yeah, we did, we played a lot.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
And during the week as well.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yes, yeah, we'd play on Fridays Because she was at
school.
There were some times where youwere in school, so Fridays were
like the most favorite day.
Yeah, you were off, yeah so weplayed every Friday for a long
long time, yeah, so it was fun.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
We got really good.
Yeah, we were pretty good.
Well, I say really good, okayfor us, and our standards are
really good.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
I could use one golf ball for like four or five holes
.
Oh yeah, for sure, and I waslike look at me, I'm a
professional, you know, so Iinteresting, though, like we
talk about those valleys ofgoing up and down and self-care
(24:31):
and taking care of ourselves.
Where are you at in that, jess?
Do you want to just jump rightin and share, because I know we
talk about the gym.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
We talk about with you a lot.
For me, self-care goes hand inhand with self-worth.
For me, my self-care is, youknow, going to the gym, making
sure I'm eating right, drink amillion gallons of water a day
and trying to do.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
You drink excessive amounts of water and there's
very limey.
It has a lot of lime in it.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
I like these little packets, this crystallized lime.
At the grocery store you canget the lemon ones, like if
you're in a restaurant, you'relike water with lemon, but I
like lime, but I have to orderthem on Amazon.
But I like it and I always warnyou when you drink my water,
but you still always make allthe dramatic faces.
It's true, anyway, but myself-worth is kind of like on
(25:32):
repeat in my head.
I go through phases where it'sworse, and this is one of the
times where I'm probablystruggling a little bit more.
It's just like I'm not goodenough, I'm not.
You know what women tell us.
I'm not skinny enough, I'm notthis, I'm not.
You know what women tell uswe're not, I'm not skinny enough
, I'm not this, I'm not, that,I'm not.
And that's kind of like what'son my repeat list in my head
(25:52):
right now.
It's just one of those timeswhere I mean it's not always
rainbows and butterflies, and soI my butterflies kind of flew
away.
I got to catch them.
So that's kind of where I'm atright now.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Yeah, it's kind of a.
It's a.
Someone asked me the other daythey're like I hadn't seen them
in a while.
We ran into them and she waslike how are you guys?
And I'm like we're good, youknow the standard answer.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
You quickly changed your answer, I noticed.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
I was like, well, you know, it's a new season, it's a
season we're trying to figureout, and she didn't know what I
meant by that.
But I'm like our kids are gone,we got a grandkid.
Life is just different, likefor me, because I was in the
church world and I was in thatjob and then when that job just
kind of went away, I was back inreal estate and I've been doing
(26:44):
real estate for seven years butI love it, but it's not, it's
not my passion, it's not thething that, just like man, I
really want to do that I don'tget up where your valley is
right now.
Yeah, my valley is,professionally I'm I'm at 52 and
when you look at my resume,I've done a lot of stuff got a
lot done, a lot of really coolstuff too.
(27:05):
Yeah, some really fun, coolthings.
But people look at me andthey're like why are you looking
for a job?
It's time for you to beretiring.
Why don't you sit down Likeit's not time to get?
And it's interesting to me,that's the feeling I get when
I'm in that.
And so then it starts to affectyou emotionally and mentally in
the sense of, well, nobodyreally wants what I have or
(27:29):
nobody wants what I have tooffer.
And because they look at myresume and say you've been
self-employed, you've been at achurch One of those two and
those don't fit where we're at,and it's like, no, I've done
sales, I've done this, I've doneI mean, I've done so many
things.
It's almost ridiculous.
But you get to a point whereyou're like I think the low for
me and this is a hundred percentbeing honest and this is I
(27:50):
don't even can't believe I'mgonna share this on a podcast.
But, um, I even applied like Ijust wanted a job to go hang out
with people like I want to bearound people.
I applied for a job, uh, at homedepot.
I I that is my second home,because I do, yeah, a lot of
stuff like I literally knowwhere everything is at home
depot, like I've helped peopleworking there find things and
(28:14):
figure out how to do things, andso I applied for jobs.
Like this is a shoo-in, this iseasy.
I didn't even get a call back.
They didn't even want to talkto me and and I was like what in
the world?
Like it's just weird, and I'mlike, okay, god are you?
What are you trying to teach me?
What are you trying to show me?
Cause I, for me, it's like Iwanted to do something.
I want to do something that hasmeaning, and that's one thing I
(28:37):
love about this podcast.
Even baggage claim Like we are.
Of course, we're not gettingpaid right now, we're paying for
all of our stuff, but it's morefor me, about helping people,
just putting it out there,because my self-worth, your
(28:58):
self-worth, comes from ourbaggage that someone gave us a
long time ago, either throughwords, through actions, through
whatever it is that we became.
We developed this picture ofwho we are in our heads and then
sometimes we spend the rest ofour life trying to unpack that
and fight against that so manytimes.
But you know, for me,professionally, my valley would
be like that's where I'm at inmy valley to go, I'm not even
(29:19):
hireable and I'm not trying to.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
I mean I don't You're not.
Woe is me, we're just beinghonest.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
But yeah, it's just like but I'm not my average.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I don't think I'm an average 52 year old.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
You're not an average 52 year old, like I try to sign
up for stupid races, thatsomething that challenges me.
Like I want to try to go do thehard things still.
Like I'm not done, like I don'twant to be done in life.
I don't want to.
You know, I don't want to putin the towel.
I don't think I'll retirebecause I just don't think I
want to ever do that.
I just always want to be doingsomething that's fun and
(29:51):
something that matters,something that gives some
substance to it.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
Well, can I ask yeah, this is a question for both of
y'all, and y'all can tell me ifthis is like repeating things
that maybe I'll said in the lastepisode.
But you're talking aboutself-worth and, and you know how
we fuel or how that getsdrained how would you say that
affects you on a daily andweekly basis, when your
(30:17):
self-worth is?
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Individually or as a couple, Cause that's Well, and
or both I mean my immediatethought is individually but, I
can understand like it probablyplays a big part more so.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Mind effect.
Like I'm a people guy, I getenergy from being around people.
Right now, my jobs are very me,it's just me, a lot of me, like
go out, generate work, go out,find work, go out, do those
things.
It's not a lot around people,it's not geared around a lot of
people.
You're generating and doing alot, and so for me that starts
(30:53):
to affect me and then Jess feedsoff of my energy so many times
at our house and then it justwhich is a lot of weight, you
know, and it's not always fun tobe like, oh God, that's on me,
but at the same time that's onme.
You know, I'm listening to abook Don't Believe Everything
(31:14):
you Think which is a really goodbook, but it's talking about
controlling our thoughts,because our negative thoughts
control so much of ours.
Like when I want to seesomething negative, all I'm
going to see is the negative,and so trying but that's almost
like just trying to get yourselfover that to be like no, no,
I'm not going to do that yeah.
(31:35):
I'm going to think positive.
Yeah, how do you do that?
Speaker 3 (31:37):
we talked about that earlier.
How do you do that one?
Speaker 2 (31:40):
too, like for me as a Christian, the what's on repeat
in my head is I'm not goodenough, but also I know who I am
in Christ.
And so when I'm saying it outloud I hear myself like I'm
talking out of both sides of mymouth Like I'm not good enough,
but then also I know I am, Iknow I have value.
(32:01):
So then it's like not that Ibeat myself up, but it's kind of
like come on, it's just, it's aweird battle, it's an inside
battle.
It's so weird, it's so hard toget past that and just shut it
off.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
That's that bag you have to unpack all the time.
Yeah, all the time.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
Like it's a constant unpacking.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Yeah, like we just went on vacation last week to
the time, Like it's a constant.
It's like a consistentunpacking.
Yeah, Like we just went onvacation last week to the beach.
When we got there, I unloadedmy portion of the suitcase.
I hung everything up, put it indrawers.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
This has been a 13-year-long battle of what
you're about to talk about.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
I put all my stuff in hangers that needed to be hung
up and in drawers.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
And put it in drawers and organize my stuff.
Your shoes are in the closetlined up.
Yeah, you're one of those guysOrganize.
And then Jess literally pullsfrom and throws into the
suitcase.
I don't thank you.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
I don't unpack, ever, ever, ever, Well are you going
to put your stuff in a drawerthat's not yours?
I'm not, and you're going tohave to take it right back out
by the end of the week Exactlyyours, and you're going to have
to take it right back out by theend of the week.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
I'm not.
I'm totally not, exactly, I'mgoing to put mine up your crowd.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
Absolutely not.
I'm putting my drawers insomebody else's drawers.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Is that the only reason?
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Yeah, no, I can't.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Like if, on our sometimes we go to the resort in
Mexico that we like I'll takenice dresses and so when we get
there I do need to hang those up.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
Okay, that's understandable.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
But literally everything else stays in my
suitcase.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
I hang all of those.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
He hangs even his t-shirts up.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
I'll hang my t-shirts .
If they have the hangers withthe little clips.
I'll hang my shorts up.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
Yes, oh my gosh, you hang your shorts up, greg.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
I'm learning so much about you in my closet now all
your short dark, except for yourwork shorts yeah, just my golf
ones, that's interesting it is,and I don't understand why.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Like that's something for me, like I don't want my
stuff there, I want it unpackedand totally uh, because we
talked about but it's one ofthose things it's like when we
get ready, all right, I'mpacking all my stuff back up in
there.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Mine's already there alright, I'm packing all my
stuff back up in there.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Mine's already there maybe, maybe that's debatable
and so it's.
It's such a hassle sometimes tobe like.
I've already fought this battle, I've already had this struggle
.
Why am I having this struggleagain?
Why am I going through thisagain and you constantly are
(34:23):
just you gotta unpack it andprocess it, and unpack it and
process it, and unpack it andprocess it Kind of going back to
talking about.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
We talked about our self-worth a lot, but self-care
Part of me working on that handin hand my self-worth is, like I
mentioned earlier that, workingout and blah, blah, blah, blah.
How about you with self-care,mr Peck?
Speaker 1 (34:49):
I started playing golf.
Yeah, literally that was I toldJess.
I was like I just want to playgolf just because I don't want
to think about anything.
You want to go out there, justwant to play and hang out with
friends.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Would you say, self-care is something that you
are consistently good at.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
No, I suck at it.
It's horrible for me.
I'm not good and so even youknow I'll make the excuse.
Well, golf is expensive, butwhen money was tight we would
just go to the driving range andspend $10 and hit buckets of
balls.
Yeah, because we'd just go onthe chipping.
(35:24):
Yeah, we would hit balls andthen we'd go over and just chip
and do fun little chipping games.
I don't know, I always find areason not to.
Sorry, I snatched my mic.
I always find reasons not toand I don't know why.
What?
Speaker 3 (35:43):
drives you to do it, though, like when you do it
because I'm sure you've lookedback in seasons of your life.
What drives you to do it?
man, that's a good question andI say that you may not have an
answer right now, and that'sfine, but like I say that and
honestly, right now, in like myseason of life, like I feel like
I'm in a valley and I've beenin a valley for a while and it
(36:09):
you know and on like today, thisweek, like these are thoughts
I've had like OK, why are younot out yet?
You're not motivated to do thesethings.
And that's even why I ask youknow, like, how does that affect
your day to day life?
Because, like for me, myself-worth tremendously affects
my day to day life.
You know, there's, there'sareas of my life where I'm
extremely confident.
I know what I'm doing, I've gota ground to stand on and I can
(36:32):
move forward in that.
But when it comes to, like, someareas of my personal life
emotionally, mentally and someof the things I'm doing in
personal growth in my own life,whether it like be at my house,
my property, things like thatwhere it feels like I'm not
getting where I want to be orwhere it feels like I should be,
and so I can be very hard onmyself for that you know whether
(36:53):
it be timing or whether it bethat I get to a weekend and it's
been a crazy long week, whetherit be with work and or family
or everything else that's goingon and then I'm like shoot, it's
Saturday, this is like my oneday off.
The last thing I want to do isgo work on something to build my
own life, yeah, and so it'll belike I'll just chill, hang out
(37:14):
with Max, my dog, beautifulblack lab, you know.
But it's that.
And so, like my question, andthese are things I'm asking
myself is okay, you've hadseasons of that motivation where
you were intentional to fightfor those health things in your
life, so why are you not doingthose right now?
So what is that that's keepingyou from doing it?
And I don't know if it's okay.
(37:34):
Well, it's a margin of time.
I need to cut back on things sothat I can or maybe it's okay.
Well, I know I don't have theexact same community that I had
had before, so maybe that makesa difference, you know.
And so just question fordiscussion is to say what, if
(37:56):
you look back on your life, ifthere things you know that
motivated you to work on yourself-care, what were those
things and what would youpropose as a game plan going
forward?
Speaker 2 (38:03):
because, that's kind of where I'm at and I don't have
an answer for it, right?
Speaker 3 (38:06):
right, but it's like okay, I know I've been in this
kind of season before and I havedefinitely pushed forward and
worked through it.
What motivated me to do that?
Speaker 2 (38:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
Because right now I don't feel motivated to do that.
You know, it's like I'd muchrather just chill in and watch
movies on a Saturday than towork on my own health right now.
Right, literally, whether it bephysical, emotional, mental,
all of the above, like.
That's where I feel, like I'mat, and so it's a okay.
I know I've done it before, butwhat are you going to do that
(38:39):
motivates yourself to do it?
Speaker 1 (38:40):
again.
For me it's almost setting aplan out in place, like a plan
to actually go.
I'm going to go do this.
I'm going to go do it Likephysically, like last year I was
signed up for a 50-mile raceand so I started running and
training and then jacked myankle up two months out, a month
(39:03):
out, and so it was just likeokay, like those things helped
me be accountable.
In that, I guess, for me it'salmost putting together a plan
or having, like you and I arestill, we've said, hey, let's
read through a book.
Even now, not even beingtogether, it's just hard because
of proximity.
Since February we haven't Rightand so we have those different
(39:27):
things.
It's like okay, put a plan andthen execute, like go do it,
like put the steps out.
Like Jess and I are having thisconversation today and I was
like I don't know what broughtmy mind here, but I was like
it's so frustrating for me ashumans how we do things, because
(39:47):
I'm like everybody else, likewe only make a change or we only
do something when the painbecomes so great that we want
change, like we don't reallywork on our marriage, like we
don't really want to listen tobaggage claim and go.
Man, I hope I get a good nuggetthat's going to make my
marriage better.
Hopefully you are, hopefullyyou're listening to that thing
(40:08):
and hopefully you're not going.
Okay, things are on fire andI'm looking for a bucket of
water not going okay.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
things are on fire and I'm looking for a bucket of
water, but a lot of folks dowait till it's too broken and
then try to fix it, rather thankind of looking at signs along
the way.
Like even this conversationwe're having now was like, yeah,
things are not sunshine andrainbows, we're not on fire
either, but it's just kind oflike we need to identify where
we're at and figure out how tomove forward.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
But as humans, we don't go on diets until we
realize we're just too fat orwe're unhealthy and we want
change.
We don't, I mean like we don'tmake change, we don't start
looking for help until we'vedestroyed things.
And so it's almost like why dowe have to wait there?
Why can't we put together aplan?
And I'm saying I'm saying thisas I'm looking at myself,
(40:57):
thinking I need the same thingto go.
Okay, I want to be here, likeright now, I have three
opportunities in front of me,three decent opportunities, not
three two, two really goodopportunities in front of me.
I'm not sure which ones I wantto go full on into and put all
my eggs in that basket.
And so, therefore, I feel likeI'm that truck stuck in the mud
(41:20):
and every now and then I go, I'mgoing to hit the gas and hit
the gas and just spin the tiresand I'm like I just because it's
not a consistent effort in thatdirection of what I want.
So it's almost like put togethera plan, greg, for where we
wanna go, and then let's executeand let's start day by day and
move forward step by step andget somebody to go with you.
I'm at a point in my life whereI don't wanna do things on my
(41:43):
own, like I wanna go onadventures.
I wanna go still climbmountains.
I still wanna go see parts ofthe world that I haven't seen.
I don't want to go do it bymyself, I want to go with
someone and professionally.
Wherever I'm at in my life, Iwant to go with people.
I wanted to be with people inthis journey because I mean,
(42:04):
we're getting one shot at this.
This is it, you know.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
I think what then?
Rewinding a little bit of whatyou said connects with me a lot,
because I've been asking thesequestions.
All of these are questions I'veprobably been asking myself for
the past month or two that I'venot had answers for, to be
honest, and not had people totalk with yet to be able to
flesh some of these thoughts out.
(42:29):
But you said something Scheduleit and do it, just do it, do it,
make it happen.
And and I remember that becausewhen it came back to us playing
golf first off, we saw eachother every day because we
worked with each other, yeah,but I remember there were
numerous times where we didn'thave time to do it- and we still
planned something out a monthin advance.
Yeah, because we're like ifit's not on the calendar, we're
(42:51):
not doing it.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, because life will getbusy, life will take you away,
pull you, distract you from allsorts of other different things.
But another thing you weretalking about brought up another
thought, because we can veryeasily sit aside in and I'm just
being brutally honest, becausethis is where I feel like I've
(43:12):
ebbed and flowed with thisspecific concept over the past
two years, and it can be healthyto ebb and flow, but it's this
there was a book we read, and Idon't remember which one, who it
was, but I remember alsotalking about this in my
counseling at the time was, if Iam coping with where I'm at, I
(43:33):
am not thriving, because copingand thriving cannot coexist.
Wow, and so, like for me, itwas okay.
There was a lot of mentalthings I was going through
mental battles just especiallywith my divorce.
I remember there was a lot ofthings.
I had to distract myself fromthat so that I didn't have to
(43:53):
think through things that weregoing on.
But I remember there was.
There was a very evident andclear time in my life where I
was like no, I'm not going todistract myself from this
thought, I'm going to processthis thought, think it through
till it's end, complete thisthought and be done with it.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
You know, and it's not to say, those thoughts
didn't come back to my mind,whether it be a self-reflection
or anger and frustration ofcircumstances that I was a part
of.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
It was even when they came back, it was like no,
you've already wrestled thisthought, you don't have to spend
any more energy on that.
You don't have to spend anymore of your own personal
capacity of margin and youremotions to do that, but I feel
like right now it's actuallyhitting me in the same way, but
a completely different aspect ofmy life Time emotion, things
like that.
(44:39):
Where it feels like I do,because I do Like I'll get to a
weekend, I'll be like shoot.
The last thing I want to do isdo anything.
I just want to be alone.
Yeah, you know which can bereally really great and can be
healthy.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
It's not a great place to stay.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
Yeah, no, exactly On the flip side, it can also be
very unhealthy, and so one ofthe biggest life-changing things
for me was being able to startturning that key, even slowly,
even if it's one thing a week,even if it's one thing a day,
whatever that is.
But yeah, no, I think we needto schedule a golf game, is what
I'm hearing.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Jess, I don't know if you are getting that.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
I'll just go pick up the grandbaby and we'll go hang
out All right.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
So we're here's something I think would be.
I just had a thought.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
Oh boy.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Yeah, this could be.
Why don't we lay out somethinglike because this is kind of a
different, there's really nounpacked portion of this I don't
feel like.
So why don't we go around thetable and say here's one thing
I'm going to do to move forward,to take a step forward from
(45:48):
where I'm at now, to make me ahealthier person was the one
thing I love this, let's go.
And so I have one that I have.
I have one and I'm going to sayit, and I hope every single
person that listens to thispodcast, who follows us on
socials, holds me accountablefor this, because saying it out
(46:08):
loud maybe is kind of away fromme.
Saying it out loud maybe iskind of a way for me.
I started this thing about 10years ago that I wanted to share
with my kids, and it was called40 by 40.
It was the 40 life lessons I'velearned over the 40 years of my
life, and some of them werereally fun.
Some of them they all have astory attached to them, but I
(46:31):
was writing them out and, fyi,everybody, I suck at writing.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
I'm not very good at it, you're a good storyteller,
and so that's how you write itfrom that point of view, the
ones that you did write weregreat.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
So my thing is, I'm going to start posting to my
Instagram and my TikTok and I'mgoing to do since I'm now 50,
I'm going to do my 50 by 50.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
Oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
And I'm going to record my stories and share them
instead of writing them, so youcan log on and hear a story
Like.
One of them was called SilverDollar Living which is when and
it's going to be hard for me notto be emotional in some of
these, but when I lost my nephew18, to a car wreck and had to
do his funeral.
There's some that are just likethe very first time I run my
(47:18):
half marathon stories of isBigfoot real Like.
There's just.
Some of them are fun.
Some of them are about buildingbusinesses where I've come from
, what I've walked through.
But that's one thing I'm goingto do because I felt like I
wanted to do it for any otherreason than just to have it out
there so my kids, if they can'tread it, they can watch it,
(47:40):
because once it's out there onsocial media and in the world,
it's always there, and so it'lljust be something for me that I
think will be fun and good forme to just flesh that out that
I've been wanting to do and Ijust haven't done it.
So there's no, there's nothingbehind it other than just
sharing my ridiculous life.
(48:00):
So I'll follow Okay.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
Good, because I don't have anything.
Speaker 3 (48:07):
Oh, you're saying I'll follow the social media.
Oh.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
I thought you were saying you're going next because
I have.
I mean, I'm 47 and I'vestruggled with negative thoughts
about myself my whole entirelife and I don't know how to
stop that.
Just to be completely honest.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
What if you read a book that helped change that
Like?
What if you, because you're areader in the summer, what if
you read a book?
You went and found a book thatwas about the way you think, or
changing the way you think?
I mean, that's the crazy partabout our minds.
We get to control our thoughts.
We get to control our thoughts,but then we don't.
(48:44):
We suck at it.
Speaker 3 (48:46):
I do, but at the same time our thoughts can so easily
control us.
Speaker 1 (48:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:51):
Mine certainly do.
I mean my last month, I feel,has been, has been that way.
That's just an idea and youknow that.
But no, I actually have a fewfew things and they're not like
as grand as yours, that's notright.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
That is not grand, that's actually humiliating.
Mine are a lot of things thatare more inward focused.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
Um so, for me, one is captivating thoughts, and I'm
not going to lie, it's not likeI have a plan.
Yeah, it's not and honestly theonly thing I know to do is to
stop distracting myself fromthose thoughts, because a lot of
times I'll have negativethoughts, whether it be about
where I'm at financially, likewith my house and things like
(49:34):
that, and it just irritates me.
You know, to the point that I'mlike, no, screw it, just stop,
just stop thinking about it.
No, I'm going to wrestle thosethoughts down.
And what that meant for mebefore like in my divorce and
what I was going through meantfor me before, like in my
(49:55):
divorce and in what I was goingthrough, literally what that
looked like was me with a coupleof drinks sitting on my back
porch at probably anywhere from8 pm to about 3 or 4 am by
myself, no music, nothing, justme.
Speaker 2 (50:07):
Yeah, thinking and honestly, a lot of it's also
praying, because I get reallyreally frustrated at the
thoughts and ticked off.
Speaker 3 (50:14):
And then I'm like oh my goodness, god, please calm my
spirit so I can keep workingthrough this and back in the
time a couple of years ago, Iwrestled a lot of things down
that way and that made a bigdifference for me.
That that made a big differencefor me.
(50:35):
Um, I'm not, and it's crazyjust how you life gets by you
and then you forget things thatyou've had in place that hold
you to um, be healthy.
And I have looking back.
I can't tell you the last timeI've done that in the past year,
like that I've had any majormental wrestlings with myself to
keep me true and not allowmyself to become affected by
those thoughts.
And and you know that we'vetalked a lot of those things
(50:57):
about, um, some currentsituations I'm going through and
and you even know this like itcould be one week we're talking
and I'm on one side of the boardand the next week I know I've
done that at least three or fourtimes.
Yeah, I come back and we talkand I'm a completely on the
other side of the board andthere's so many elements that
come with that but wrestling mythoughts, wrestling them down
and you know the scripture thatsays I take every thought
(51:18):
captive to the obedience ofGod's word, being intentional to
do that, because, looking backat my life, I've had a lot of
things that I've allowed myselfto distract my own mind from
those things and I've notwrestled those thoughts down,
and that has weighed a lot on myself-worth.
Secondly and I've shared thiswith you the past few weeks I've
(51:40):
acknowledged that my lifeseason right now is so busy that
on any given week I'm usuallybusy Monday through Thursday,
and then, of course, I work onSundays.
Monday through Thursday I'musually gone doing stuff until
about nine or 10 o'clock atnight, every day.
(52:01):
Yeah, and that also starts withwork in the morning, then I
think I do have to work and, um,however that looks like,
whatever that looks like, I'mnot sure.
But, and even if that doesn'tchange, cause there's some
things in that schedule that I Idon't really feel like needs to
change right now, but maybeit's weekends, you know, being
more intentional to be withfriends yeah, because I've got
(52:24):
so many friends, that that livein this area and I'm in my, my
mid-30s and so, like early 30s,I'll say 33 there you go.
I'm still early, yeah you'reearly, go early, yeah, yeah,
you're early 30s.
Speaker 1 (52:33):
I'll say 33.
There you go.
I'm still early, yeah you'reearly, go early 30s yeah, you're
early 30s till you're 35.
Speaker 2 (52:37):
Two more years.
Speaker 3 (52:39):
Two more years.
No, I feel like I can so easilybe alone right now.
I mean, even though I know wedo this every week we grab
dinner and it's awesome becausethis is probably one of the
biggest bucket fillers in mylife.
Just emotional fulfillment iscoming over.
We grab dinner.
Greg grilled his.
We call him Greg.
Speaker 2 (52:56):
Burgers Greg Burgers Best hamburgers in the whole
world.
Speaker 3 (52:59):
Literally the best burgers I've had.
Speaker 2 (53:01):
I told Michael I was like on the way home from
vacation Saturday I told Greg Iwas like I got to have some Greg
Burgers as soon as possible.
They're so good.
Speaker 3 (53:09):
But no, that's been great, but I need some more of
my community life, buildingfriends around me more, and I
need to do that more.
So those are two things thatI'm really going to dive after
for the rest of the summerBecause I know, looking back in
my life, those are things thathave built me up and I need to
do that because I've not donethat probably since last fall
(53:30):
Easy, since last fall.
Speaker 1 (53:32):
Yeah, okay, what do you got?
Got anything.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (53:38):
No, okay.
Speaker 2 (53:40):
I took my turn, remember Okay.
Speaker 1 (53:44):
So here's the thing.
I would love you guys that areout there listening.
If you want to hear moreMichael, let us know.
Lisa got your text through ourpodcast today.
Speaker 2 (53:57):
Thank, you so much for listening.
We have a new listener, afriend of mine from way back.
Love her to pieces.
Thank you for listening, Lisa.
Speaker 1 (54:02):
Yeah, just make sure to let us know, follow us, hold
us accountable for these things.
If you found what we've talkedabout tonight to be useful or
hits home, reach out to us, letus know, be involved in this
conversation with us.
This is not just one-sided.
We want you to be a part of acommunity with us where we can
share where we're at and wherewe're going and, you know, tie
(54:26):
ropes to each other and drageach other up the mountain
sometimes, if we need to.
Speaker 2 (54:30):
Help me find my butterflies again, right yeah
exactly.
Speaker 1 (54:34):
So anything else to add before we wrap up?
I don't think so All right.
Well, thanks everybody forjoining us.
Thanks for letting me be onhere tonight.
Speaker 3 (54:41):
Yeah, dude, thanks for being here.
It was new and different, Idon't know.
Speaker 2 (54:43):
Hey this is our 20th episode.
Thanks for joining us fornumber 20.
Speaker 1 (54:47):
Yeah, I'm so glad you're is awesome.
So thank you guys for joiningand have a good day.
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