March 13, 2024 • 22 mins
When life threw me a curveball right before my wedding, manifesting as a tooth infection, I had no choice but to listen to the signals my body was desperately trying to send. This episode is a candid recount of that personal upheaval, and how it led to a deeper understanding of the mind-body connection, inspired by the insights of Eckhart Tolle and Dr. Gabor Maté. We'll uncover the transformative power of embracing the present and the dangers of ignoring our body's subtle warnings. Expect an exploration into personal milestones, the illusion of control, and learning how to let go to find authentic empowerment and balance.
The journey doesn't end with realizations; it extends into action and acceptance. I share the emotionally charged experience of grappling with sudden hair loss, known as alopecia areata, and how this condition impacted not just my own sense of self but is a struggle faced by many, including public figures like Jada Pinkink Smith. This narrative dives into the quest for answers and peace, from visits to a naturopath to understanding the profound effects stress can have on our bodies. By sharing our stories, we create a tapestry of resilience and support, and I invite you to add your thread. Together, we celebrate the strides made towards growth and the inner peace that comes from embracing life's unpredictability.
Join our community of radiant souls. Subscribe and tune in every Wednesday to hear the latest episode. Be a part of a vibrant tribe that supports, inspires, and grows together.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Harkaren (00:03):
Hello everyone and welcome to Balance Baby, the
podcast designed to help youconsistently show up as the best
version of yourself.
My name is Harkaren and I'll beyour host.
I'll be here every week sharingstories and teaching you
techniques to prioritize theonly thing we have any control
(00:25):
over in this world Ourselves.
In the last episode, wediscussed the power of letting
go and surrendering.
When we successfully do this,we empower ourselves by
embracing the unknowns of thefuture.
Too often, we find ourselvesdelaying change until we feel
(00:46):
backed into a corner withseemingly no other options.
We wait until the pressurebecomes unbearable and we hang
on to the familiarity, even whenit's no longer serving us.
When we step into the unknown,we take back control of our own
lives.
We no longer feel trapped byour circumstances or by the
(01:06):
expectations of others.
We develop our resilience andwe become adaptable in the face
of adversity.
Embracing change is a trulybeautiful and honorable step on
our path towards showing up asour authentic selves.
But we don't need to wait forthings to get bad before taking
these steps.
Many times, people wait fordevastating moments such as
(01:30):
divorce, the loss of a loved oneor hitting rock bottom, before
they finally surrender andloosen their group and control.
I remember having timelines forwhen I'd like to be married, by
how many kids I wanted or atwhat age I wanted to have those
kids In my life.
Having timelines only causedstress and suffering.
(01:53):
One of my favorite books iscalled A New Earth by Eckhart
Tolle.
In it he discusses the illusionof control.
The author highlights how theego's desire for control can
fuel stress and anxiety.
He explains how people oftenbelieve they can control
external circumstances andoutcomes, leading to frustration
(02:14):
and disappointment when thingsdon't go as planned.
Tolle offers examples of howletting go of the illusion of
control and surrendering to thepresent moment can alleviate
stress and foster inner peace.
Surrendering to the presentmoment with an attitude of
acceptance allows things to beexactly as they are, without
(02:34):
resistance or judgment.
The author explains thatresistance to situations only
prolongs suffering and preventsindividuals from finding peace
and resolution.
By accepting the reality ofsituations as it is, people can
open themselves up to newpossibilities and opportunities
for growth.
(02:55):
So the next time somethingdoesn't go your way, I challenge
you to drop your need to knowhow things are going to get
better or why this is happeningin the first place.
Learn to accept what is.
In the end, it doesn't matterwhy it's happening or why it
happened.
There's nothing you can doabout it either way.
Not only that, but theresistance to what is is only
(03:19):
going to prolong your suffering.
The more you resist what'shappening, the more you're
adding fuel to the fire.
It's like trying to swimagainst a current that's pulling
you downstream.
It's exhausting, it'sfrustrating and it's only going
to leave you feeling morestressed out and anxious.
On top of that, stress, anxietyand tension begin to show up in
(03:43):
our physical bodies.
This is due to a topic we'vetouched on before, which is the
mind-body connection.
The mind-body connection refersto the intricate relationship
between our thoughts andemotions and our physical health
In the context of stress andanxiety.
This connection becomesparticularly relevant when
(04:05):
people experience stress oranxiety.
It often manifests in bothmental and physical symptoms.
So understanding this mind-bodyconnection is crucial in
managing stress and anxietyeffectively.
In the book when the Body Saysno the Cost of Hidden Stress by
Dr Gabor Mate, the authorexplores the relationship
(04:27):
between emotional stress andphysical health.
He draws upon his extensiveexperience as a physician and
his research into the mind-bodyconnection to shed light on the
detrimental effects of stress onthe physical body.
He explores the impact ofchildhood trauma, repressed
emotions and societal pressureson the body's ability to
(04:49):
maintain balance and wellness.
Through compelling case studiesand scientific evidence, the
author demonstrates how chronicstress weakens the immune system
, disrupts hormonal balance andcontributes to the development
of chronic diseases.
He provides case studies suchas Sarah, a woman in her mid-30s
(05:11):
who had been experiencingchronic pain for years.
Despite undergoing varioustreatments, her symptoms
continued.
Upon further investigation, itwas revealed that Sarah had been
suppressing feelings ofresentment and anger towards her
overbearing mother.
Sarah's unresolved emotionalissues were manifesting as
(05:32):
physical pain in her body,highlighting the importance of
addressing underlying emotionalstressors.
Another example is John, asuccessful businessman in his
50s who was diagnosed withprostate cancer.
Despite receiving treatment,his condition worsened.
The author delves into John'shistory of chronic stress and
(05:55):
perfectionism, exploring how hisrelentless drive for success
and the inability to express hisemotions contributed to the
development of cancer.
This case underscores theimpact of chronic stress on the
immune system and the body'sability to fight disease.
Dr Matei argues that manychronic diseases, including
(06:17):
autoimmune disorders, cancer andheart disease, can be linked to
the body's response to chronicstress.
I myself resonate deeply withthis sentiment because I've
experienced it first hand.
In the last episode I mentionedthat the road to my marriage
was not flawless.
In fact, just a few days beforemy wedding, I developed a tooth
(06:42):
infection.
When I look back, this was thefirst red light the universe
sent me to tell me to stop whatI was doing.
But there were also many stopsigns leading up to this red
light that I had already ignored.
I had booked an emergencyappointment with my dentist
where she confirmed that mywisdom tooth needed to be
(07:03):
removed.
She took x-rays and prepped formy removal appointment.
But upon examining my x-rays,she realized that the root of my
wisdom tooth was too close tomy nerve and I would need to
have it extracted by aspecialist.
If you've ever tried to get into see a specialist, you know
how long it can take to get anappointment.
(07:23):
My dentist called, emailed andfaxed the specialist's office
letting them know that this wasan extra urgent case because I
was a few days away from mywedding.
The next morning I got a callfrom the specialist's office
asking me to come in for aconsultation.
During my consultation, thespecialist told me that he would
(07:44):
need to remove two of my wisdomteeth.
He mentioned that my cheeksmight swell and there could be
visible bruising.
He said he would try tominimize the trauma, but
everyone responds differently towisdom tooth extractions.
I told him that it was fine andthe discomfort was worse than
any bruising or swelling wouldbe.
Plus, we were having anintimate park wedding, not a big
(08:07):
Indian wedding.
But I was going to be leavingfor my honeymoon a few days
after my wedding and there wasno way I was going on
antibiotics because I intendedto drink and I wasn't going to
risk my health further by mixingalcohol and antibiotics.
He laughed, but he wasunderstanding, so he compromised
(08:27):
and he gave me a medicatedmouthwash instead of oral
antibiotics.
So three days before my wedding, I got my wisdom teeth removed.
All in all, it was prettypainless.
I didn't experience any pain,swelling or bruising.
It was great.
I was back on track to gettingmarried and living happily ever
after, or so I thought.
(08:51):
The wedding itself went reallywell.
I did my own makeup and one ofmy friends curled my hair for me
.
I know this is unheard of thesedays, but it was simple and it
was beautiful.
I think we had about a weekbetween our wedding day and our
flight to Singapore and Maldives.
Sometime in that week I went tovisit my best friend.
On my drive home I was playingwith my hair, as I often do, and
(09:16):
I noticed a strange spot at theback of my scalp.
It felt like there was a baldspot at the back of my head.
My heart sunk and I pulled over.
I tried to take a picture, butit was difficult.
I did manage to capture ablurry image that seemed to
confirm that there was in fact abald spot on the back of my
(09:36):
head about the size of a quarter.
I immediately sent the pictureto three people my best friend
that I was just with, the friendwho curled my hair for my
wedding and my ex-husband.
I stayed parked on the side ofthe road, unable to drive.
As a nurse, my mind beganracing, trying to figure out
(09:58):
what could have caused this.
It was so strange.
It was a perfect circle andcompletely smooth to touch, like
a baby, no stubble at all, likeno hair had ever existed.
While I was lost in my thoughts, my best friend was actively
searching Google.
My other friend had confirmedthat the bald spot definitely
(10:20):
was not there a few days agowhen she curled my hair.
Eventually, google led us tothe conclusion that it was
likely alopecia.
I had barely been married threedays and I had already
developed alopecia.
For those of you who areunfamiliar, alopecia is an
umbrella term for hair loss andbalding.
(10:41):
While some types of alopeciamay be temporary and reversible,
others may be permanent andrequire ongoing treatment or
management.
There's scarring or tractionalopecia, which can be caused by
damage to the hair follicles ortension on the hair follicles.
There's alopecia totellis oruniversalis, which is a severe
(11:06):
form of alopecia characterizedby total hair loss to the head,
face and body.
The most commonly known isandrogenetic alopecia, also
known as male and female patternbaldness.
This is usually hereditary andcauses gradual thinning over
(11:26):
time.
And finally, alopecia areata,an autoimmune condition in which
the body's immune systemmistakenly attacks the hair
follicles, leading to suddenpatchy hair loss.
This is the one I had developed.
Some of you might be familiarwith Alopecia because of Jada
Pinkett Smith.
How could we forget that epicnight when Will Smith slapped
(11:51):
Chris Rock for making a jokeabout his wife's shaved head?
After the incident, jadaPinkett Smith addressed the
situation on her social mediaaccounts and shared her
perspective on living withAlopecia and the challenges
she's faced as a result.
She speaks openly about theimpact it has had on her
self-esteem and how she haslearned to embrace her natural
(12:13):
beauty.
By sharing her experience withAlopecia, she has helped to
raise awareness about thecondition and break down stigma
around hair loss.
During that period of time,however, my Alopecia was still a
big mystery.
I had decided that this wasn'tgoing to ruin my dream honeymoon
and I would deal with it when Igot back.
(12:35):
But can you imagine waking upin an overwater bungalow in
Maldives, brushing your teeth,looking in the mirror and
noticing what looks like anotherbald spot forming right in
front of your eyes?
Only this time it was formingin the center of my scalp, right
(12:55):
where I part my hair, and,worse, the spot at the back of
my head was growing too.
Needless to say, my self-esteemwas shot.
I had so much anxiety that theslightest breeze would reveal
the secret that I had beentrying to conceal.
For many women, their hair makesthem feel feminine and
(13:18):
beautiful.
It's deeply intertwined withour sense of identity and
self-worth.
A woman's hair holds deepsignificance in shaping her
outward appearance and innerconfidence.
It creates a sense ofindividuality and helps her
create her personal style.
Somehow the universe knew thatby targeting my hair, I would
(13:40):
stop at nothing to find asolution.
When we got back, my first stepwas to book a doctor's
appointment.
I had some blood work done andeverything came back normal.
The doctor told me that I wasperfectly healthy.
I asked him what part ofmysteriously losing a
significant amount of hair inperfect circles seemed healthy
(14:02):
to him.
So yeah, he was prettyunhelpful.
Meanwhile, the hair losscontinued to spread.
It was at its worst about sixweeks after I initially
discovered it.
The quarter-sized bald spot wasnow the size of my palm.
Can you imagine?
Look at your palm right now andimagine a bald spot that size
(14:25):
on the back of your head.
It was so scary.
The one on the front had mergedwith another and now I was
forced to try to conceal them byparting my hair to the side.
People had told me that steroidinjections would stimulate the
hair growth, but this was only asolution to a symptom.
I was determined to find theroot cause.
(14:46):
Plus, the long-term use ofsteroids was bound to cause a
whole bunch of other issues downthe road.
The cause of allopecia areatais unknown, so I was researching
nonstop on the internet foranything that could help.
That's when I came across awebsite of a local naturopath.
She had written a blog abouther personal experience with
(15:09):
autoimmune conditions.
As I was reading her blog, Iresonated deeply with the
self-esteem issues she describedas a result of her allopecia.
But her condition continued toworsen, affecting her vision and
hearing.
Her research into allopecia andautoimmune conditions was
personal for her and she wasable to heal herself.
(15:31):
So I knew I needed to see her.
I booked an appointment and sheasked me a long list of
seemingly random questions.
I can't remember most of them,but one stood out for me.
It was have you been havingvivid nightmares, which I had?
I was waking up in the middleof the night in a panic, and it
(15:52):
was something I had neverexperienced before.
She asked me if I had anyrecent life changes, and I told
her I had just gotten married.
She asked me if I was stressedabout anything other than the
hair loss, and I told her Iwasn't.
She did some more blood work,but it was more comprehensive
than what the doctor had done.
When the results came back, myIgG levels were extremely
(16:14):
elevated.
Igg, or Immunoglobulin G, is atype of antibody that plays a
crucial role in the body'simmune response.
The elevated levels indicatedsignificant inflammation in my
body.
My naturopath informed me thatelevated stress had activated an
autoimmune disorder that wasdormant in my body.
(16:37):
She did an allergy test, whichconfirmed that my body was in a
heightened state of sensitivityand I was having internal
allergic reactions to food I wasconsuming, further contributing
to the inflammation in my body.
It was a lot to take in.
She put me on a very restrictiveketo-style diet and I was
(16:57):
required to take about 20supplements daily.
And, lastly, she advised methat the number one thing I
needed to do was reduce mystress.
The diet and supplements Icould do, but stress.
I didn't feel stressed, that isuntil I started to pay
attention.
I started journaling andreflecting and I realized that I
(17:20):
was miserable.
I'm not here to bash my ex orhis family, although I could but
what I will say is that I wasnot respected, supported or
cared for.
No one asked me how myappointments were going or if I
had made any progress.
When I would ask my ex to helpme take progress photos, he told
(17:42):
me he didn't want to because itwas unattractive.
This just goes to show whatkind of person he was.
Anyways, with time and throughconsistent effort, sticking to
my diet and supplements, my hairstarted to grow back.
It would grow back white andsuper soft, like infant hair,
(18:03):
and then, as it grew longer, itwould change to match my hair
color.
It was super bizarre and alsointeresting.
But the most significanthealing happened a few months
later, when I officiallyseparated from my ex and moved
back to my parents' house.
Not until I took this step didI realize how much stress I had
(18:24):
actually been under.
Leaving that toxic environmentlifted a weight off my chest and
shoulders and, for the firsttime in months, I was able to
take a deep breath.
I still remember how good itfelt to lay in my bed in a home
where I was loved and cared for.
What a stark contrast.
(18:44):
From that moment on, I kneweverything was going to be okay.
I made a promise to myself thatI will never let anything like
that happen to me ever again.
Now that I was out of the toxicenvironment, my hair grew back
rapidly, the inflammation in mybody settled.
The stressful challenges with myex didn't stop after I
(19:06):
separated, but it wasn'taffecting me in the same way
From a medical perspective.
I was able to understand thatmy immune system was compromised
by the chronic stress I wasunder and from all the emotions
I was repressing because I wastrying to keep the peace.
I'm so thankful that I was ableto find the support I needed.
(19:27):
I'm so glad I found aprofessional who valued getting
to the root of the issue as muchas I did.
I was so thankful for thisnewfound knowledge about the
effects of stress on the body.
I was grateful to have lovingfamily and friends to support me
through the most challengingperiod of my life, and I was
proud of me for taking the stepsI needed to ensure my own
(19:51):
health and safety.
Thank you so much for tuning into my 11th episode.
Stress is intended to sparkchange.
My journey through alopecia wasmore than just a physical
battle.
It was a lesson in resilienceand the transformative power of
letting go.
(20:12):
Through the ups and downs, Ilearned that true healing begins
when we release the need forcontrol and surrender to the
flow of life.
It's about acknowledging ourvulnerabilities, embracing
change and prioritizing our ownwell-being above all else.
My experience taught me thatstress isn't just a mental
(20:34):
burden.
It can manifest in physicalsymptoms and impact our overall
health in profound ways.
By addressing the root causesof stress and finding support
from loved ones and healthcareprofessionals, I was able to
reclaim my health, happiness andmyself Sense of self-worth.
Moving forward, I carry with mea deep appreciation for the
(20:58):
importance of self-care,authenticity and surrounding
myself with people who upliftand support me.
My journey through alopecia mayhave been challenging, but it
ultimately led me to a place ofprofound growth, resilience and
inner peace, and for that I amforever grateful.
Remember, no one will be asinvested in your health and
(21:21):
well-being as you are.
So prioritize yourself, embracethe unknowns and trust in your
own journey of healing andself-discovery.
As always, I would love to hearfrom you.
If this episode or any of myprevious episodes resonate with
you, please send me a DM onInstagram at BalanceBabyPodcast.
(21:42):
I'll see you next week for thefinal episode of Season 1.
Together here we're creating acommunity of beautiful souls
ready to uplift each other,ready to experience all the joy
that this life has to offer us.
And don't forget life is allabout Balance, baby.
Hello everyone and welcome to Balance Baby, the
podcast designed to help youconsistently show up as the best
version of yourself.
My name is Harkaren and I'll beyour host.
I'll be here every week sharingstories and teaching you
techniques to prioritize theonly thing we have any control
(00:25):
over in this world Ourselves.
In the last episode, wediscussed the power of letting
go and surrendering.
When we successfully do this,we empower ourselves by
embracing the unknowns of thefuture.
Too often, we find ourselvesdelaying change until we feel
(00:46):
backed into a corner withseemingly no other options.
We wait until the pressurebecomes unbearable and we hang
on to the familiarity, even whenit's no longer serving us.
When we step into the unknown,we take back control of our own
lives.
We no longer feel trapped byour circumstances or by the
(01:06):
expectations of others.
We develop our resilience andwe become adaptable in the face
of adversity.
Embracing change is a trulybeautiful and honorable step on
our path towards showing up asour authentic selves.
But we don't need to wait forthings to get bad before taking
these steps.
Many times, people wait fordevastating moments such as
(01:30):
divorce, the loss of a loved oneor hitting rock bottom, before
they finally surrender andloosen their group and control.
I remember having timelines forwhen I'd like to be married, by
how many kids I wanted or atwhat age I wanted to have those
kids In my life.
Having timelines only causedstress and suffering.
(01:53):
One of my favorite books iscalled A New Earth by Eckhart
Tolle.
In it he discusses the illusionof control.
The author highlights how theego's desire for control can
fuel stress and anxiety.
He explains how people oftenbelieve they can control
external circumstances andoutcomes, leading to frustration
(02:14):
and disappointment when thingsdon't go as planned.
Tolle offers examples of howletting go of the illusion of
control and surrendering to thepresent moment can alleviate
stress and foster inner peace.
Surrendering to the presentmoment with an attitude of
acceptance allows things to beexactly as they are, without
(02:34):
resistance or judgment.
The author explains thatresistance to situations only
prolongs suffering and preventsindividuals from finding peace
and resolution.
By accepting the reality ofsituations as it is, people can
open themselves up to newpossibilities and opportunities
for growth.
(02:55):
So the next time somethingdoesn't go your way, I challenge
you to drop your need to knowhow things are going to get
better or why this is happeningin the first place.
Learn to accept what is.
In the end, it doesn't matterwhy it's happening or why it
happened.
There's nothing you can doabout it either way.
Not only that, but theresistance to what is is only
(03:19):
going to prolong your suffering.
The more you resist what'shappening, the more you're
adding fuel to the fire.
It's like trying to swimagainst a current that's pulling
you downstream.
It's exhausting, it'sfrustrating and it's only going
to leave you feeling morestressed out and anxious.
On top of that, stress, anxietyand tension begin to show up in
(03:43):
our physical bodies.
This is due to a topic we'vetouched on before, which is the
mind-body connection.
The mind-body connection refersto the intricate relationship
between our thoughts andemotions and our physical health
In the context of stress andanxiety.
This connection becomesparticularly relevant when
(04:05):
people experience stress oranxiety.
It often manifests in bothmental and physical symptoms.
So understanding this mind-bodyconnection is crucial in
managing stress and anxietyeffectively.
In the book when the Body Saysno the Cost of Hidden Stress by
Dr Gabor Mate, the authorexplores the relationship
(04:27):
between emotional stress andphysical health.
He draws upon his extensiveexperience as a physician and
his research into the mind-bodyconnection to shed light on the
detrimental effects of stress onthe physical body.
He explores the impact ofchildhood trauma, repressed
emotions and societal pressureson the body's ability to
(04:49):
maintain balance and wellness.
Through compelling case studiesand scientific evidence, the
author demonstrates how chronicstress weakens the immune system
, disrupts hormonal balance andcontributes to the development
of chronic diseases.
He provides case studies suchas Sarah, a woman in her mid-30s
(05:11):
who had been experiencingchronic pain for years.
Despite undergoing varioustreatments, her symptoms
continued.
Upon further investigation, itwas revealed that Sarah had been
suppressing feelings ofresentment and anger towards her
overbearing mother.
Sarah's unresolved emotionalissues were manifesting as
(05:32):
physical pain in her body,highlighting the importance of
addressing underlying emotionalstressors.
Another example is John, asuccessful businessman in his
50s who was diagnosed withprostate cancer.
Despite receiving treatment,his condition worsened.
The author delves into John'shistory of chronic stress and
(05:55):
perfectionism, exploring how hisrelentless drive for success
and the inability to express hisemotions contributed to the
development of cancer.
This case underscores theimpact of chronic stress on the
immune system and the body'sability to fight disease.
Dr Matei argues that manychronic diseases, including
(06:17):
autoimmune disorders, cancer andheart disease, can be linked to
the body's response to chronicstress.
I myself resonate deeply withthis sentiment because I've
experienced it first hand.
In the last episode I mentionedthat the road to my marriage
was not flawless.
In fact, just a few days beforemy wedding, I developed a tooth
(06:42):
infection.
When I look back, this was thefirst red light the universe
sent me to tell me to stop whatI was doing.
But there were also many stopsigns leading up to this red
light that I had already ignored.
I had booked an emergencyappointment with my dentist
where she confirmed that mywisdom tooth needed to be
(07:03):
removed.
She took x-rays and prepped formy removal appointment.
But upon examining my x-rays,she realized that the root of my
wisdom tooth was too close tomy nerve and I would need to
have it extracted by aspecialist.
If you've ever tried to get into see a specialist, you know
how long it can take to get anappointment.
(07:23):
My dentist called, emailed andfaxed the specialist's office
letting them know that this wasan extra urgent case because I
was a few days away from mywedding.
The next morning I got a callfrom the specialist's office
asking me to come in for aconsultation.
During my consultation, thespecialist told me that he would
(07:44):
need to remove two of my wisdomteeth.
He mentioned that my cheeksmight swell and there could be
visible bruising.
He said he would try tominimize the trauma, but
everyone responds differently towisdom tooth extractions.
I told him that it was fine andthe discomfort was worse than
any bruising or swelling wouldbe.
Plus, we were having anintimate park wedding, not a big
(08:07):
Indian wedding.
But I was going to be leavingfor my honeymoon a few days
after my wedding and there wasno way I was going on
antibiotics because I intendedto drink and I wasn't going to
risk my health further by mixingalcohol and antibiotics.
He laughed, but he wasunderstanding, so he compromised
(08:27):
and he gave me a medicatedmouthwash instead of oral
antibiotics.
So three days before my wedding, I got my wisdom teeth removed.
All in all, it was prettypainless.
I didn't experience any pain,swelling or bruising.
It was great.
I was back on track to gettingmarried and living happily ever
after, or so I thought.
(08:51):
The wedding itself went reallywell.
I did my own makeup and one ofmy friends curled my hair for me
.
I know this is unheard of thesedays, but it was simple and it
was beautiful.
I think we had about a weekbetween our wedding day and our
flight to Singapore and Maldives.
Sometime in that week I went tovisit my best friend.
On my drive home I was playingwith my hair, as I often do, and
(09:16):
I noticed a strange spot at theback of my scalp.
It felt like there was a baldspot at the back of my head.
My heart sunk and I pulled over.
I tried to take a picture, butit was difficult.
I did manage to capture ablurry image that seemed to
confirm that there was in fact abald spot on the back of my
(09:36):
head about the size of a quarter.
I immediately sent the pictureto three people my best friend
that I was just with, the friendwho curled my hair for my
wedding and my ex-husband.
I stayed parked on the side ofthe road, unable to drive.
As a nurse, my mind beganracing, trying to figure out
(09:58):
what could have caused this.
It was so strange.
It was a perfect circle andcompletely smooth to touch, like
a baby, no stubble at all, likeno hair had ever existed.
While I was lost in my thoughts, my best friend was actively
searching Google.
My other friend had confirmedthat the bald spot definitely
(10:20):
was not there a few days agowhen she curled my hair.
Eventually, google led us tothe conclusion that it was
likely alopecia.
I had barely been married threedays and I had already
developed alopecia.
For those of you who areunfamiliar, alopecia is an
umbrella term for hair loss andbalding.
(10:41):
While some types of alopeciamay be temporary and reversible,
others may be permanent andrequire ongoing treatment or
management.
There's scarring or tractionalopecia, which can be caused by
damage to the hair follicles ortension on the hair follicles.
There's alopecia totellis oruniversalis, which is a severe
(11:06):
form of alopecia characterizedby total hair loss to the head,
face and body.
The most commonly known isandrogenetic alopecia, also
known as male and female patternbaldness.
This is usually hereditary andcauses gradual thinning over
(11:26):
time.
And finally, alopecia areata,an autoimmune condition in which
the body's immune systemmistakenly attacks the hair
follicles, leading to suddenpatchy hair loss.
This is the one I had developed.
Some of you might be familiarwith Alopecia because of Jada
Pinkett Smith.
How could we forget that epicnight when Will Smith slapped
(11:51):
Chris Rock for making a jokeabout his wife's shaved head?
After the incident, jadaPinkett Smith addressed the
situation on her social mediaaccounts and shared her
perspective on living withAlopecia and the challenges
she's faced as a result.
She speaks openly about theimpact it has had on her
self-esteem and how she haslearned to embrace her natural
(12:13):
beauty.
By sharing her experience withAlopecia, she has helped to
raise awareness about thecondition and break down stigma
around hair loss.
During that period of time,however, my Alopecia was still a
big mystery.
I had decided that this wasn'tgoing to ruin my dream honeymoon
and I would deal with it when Igot back.
(12:35):
But can you imagine waking upin an overwater bungalow in
Maldives, brushing your teeth,looking in the mirror and
noticing what looks like anotherbald spot forming right in
front of your eyes?
Only this time it was formingin the center of my scalp, right
(12:55):
where I part my hair, and,worse, the spot at the back of
my head was growing too.
Needless to say, my self-esteemwas shot.
I had so much anxiety that theslightest breeze would reveal
the secret that I had beentrying to conceal.
For many women, their hair makesthem feel feminine and
(13:18):
beautiful.
It's deeply intertwined withour sense of identity and
self-worth.
A woman's hair holds deepsignificance in shaping her
outward appearance and innerconfidence.
It creates a sense ofindividuality and helps her
create her personal style.
Somehow the universe knew thatby targeting my hair, I would
(13:40):
stop at nothing to find asolution.
When we got back, my first stepwas to book a doctor's
appointment.
I had some blood work done andeverything came back normal.
The doctor told me that I wasperfectly healthy.
I asked him what part ofmysteriously losing a
significant amount of hair inperfect circles seemed healthy
(14:02):
to him.
So yeah, he was prettyunhelpful.
Meanwhile, the hair losscontinued to spread.
It was at its worst about sixweeks after I initially
discovered it.
The quarter-sized bald spot wasnow the size of my palm.
Can you imagine?
Look at your palm right now andimagine a bald spot that size
(14:25):
on the back of your head.
It was so scary.
The one on the front had mergedwith another and now I was
forced to try to conceal them byparting my hair to the side.
People had told me that steroidinjections would stimulate the
hair growth, but this was only asolution to a symptom.
I was determined to find theroot cause.
(14:46):
Plus, the long-term use ofsteroids was bound to cause a
whole bunch of other issues downthe road.
The cause of allopecia areatais unknown, so I was researching
nonstop on the internet foranything that could help.
That's when I came across awebsite of a local naturopath.
She had written a blog abouther personal experience with
(15:09):
autoimmune conditions.
As I was reading her blog, Iresonated deeply with the
self-esteem issues she describedas a result of her allopecia.
But her condition continued toworsen, affecting her vision and
hearing.
Her research into allopecia andautoimmune conditions was
personal for her and she wasable to heal herself.
(15:31):
So I knew I needed to see her.
I booked an appointment and sheasked me a long list of
seemingly random questions.
I can't remember most of them,but one stood out for me.
It was have you been havingvivid nightmares, which I had?
I was waking up in the middleof the night in a panic, and it
(15:52):
was something I had neverexperienced before.
She asked me if I had anyrecent life changes, and I told
her I had just gotten married.
She asked me if I was stressedabout anything other than the
hair loss, and I told her Iwasn't.
She did some more blood work,but it was more comprehensive
than what the doctor had done.
When the results came back, myIgG levels were extremely
(16:14):
elevated.
Igg, or Immunoglobulin G, is atype of antibody that plays a
crucial role in the body'simmune response.
The elevated levels indicatedsignificant inflammation in my
body.
My naturopath informed me thatelevated stress had activated an
autoimmune disorder that wasdormant in my body.
(16:37):
She did an allergy test, whichconfirmed that my body was in a
heightened state of sensitivityand I was having internal
allergic reactions to food I wasconsuming, further contributing
to the inflammation in my body.
It was a lot to take in.
She put me on a very restrictiveketo-style diet and I was
(16:57):
required to take about 20supplements daily.
And, lastly, she advised methat the number one thing I
needed to do was reduce mystress.
The diet and supplements Icould do, but stress.
I didn't feel stressed, that isuntil I started to pay
attention.
I started journaling andreflecting and I realized that I
(17:20):
was miserable.
I'm not here to bash my ex orhis family, although I could but
what I will say is that I wasnot respected, supported or
cared for.
No one asked me how myappointments were going or if I
had made any progress.
When I would ask my ex to helpme take progress photos, he told
(17:42):
me he didn't want to because itwas unattractive.
This just goes to show whatkind of person he was.
Anyways, with time and throughconsistent effort, sticking to
my diet and supplements, my hairstarted to grow back.
It would grow back white andsuper soft, like infant hair,
(18:03):
and then, as it grew longer, itwould change to match my hair
color.
It was super bizarre and alsointeresting.
But the most significanthealing happened a few months
later, when I officiallyseparated from my ex and moved
back to my parents' house.
Not until I took this step didI realize how much stress I had
(18:24):
actually been under.
Leaving that toxic environmentlifted a weight off my chest and
shoulders and, for the firsttime in months, I was able to
take a deep breath.
I still remember how good itfelt to lay in my bed in a home
where I was loved and cared for.
What a stark contrast.
(18:44):
From that moment on, I kneweverything was going to be okay.
I made a promise to myself thatI will never let anything like
that happen to me ever again.
Now that I was out of the toxicenvironment, my hair grew back
rapidly, the inflammation in mybody settled.
The stressful challenges with myex didn't stop after I
(19:06):
separated, but it wasn'taffecting me in the same way
From a medical perspective.
I was able to understand thatmy immune system was compromised
by the chronic stress I wasunder and from all the emotions
I was repressing because I wastrying to keep the peace.
I'm so thankful that I was ableto find the support I needed.
(19:27):
I'm so glad I found aprofessional who valued getting
to the root of the issue as muchas I did.
I was so thankful for thisnewfound knowledge about the
effects of stress on the body.
I was grateful to have lovingfamily and friends to support me
through the most challengingperiod of my life, and I was
proud of me for taking the stepsI needed to ensure my own
(19:51):
health and safety.
Thank you so much for tuning into my 11th episode.
Stress is intended to sparkchange.
My journey through alopecia wasmore than just a physical
battle.
It was a lesson in resilienceand the transformative power of
letting go.
(20:12):
Through the ups and downs, Ilearned that true healing begins
when we release the need forcontrol and surrender to the
flow of life.
It's about acknowledging ourvulnerabilities, embracing
change and prioritizing our ownwell-being above all else.
My experience taught me thatstress isn't just a mental
(20:34):
burden.
It can manifest in physicalsymptoms and impact our overall
health in profound ways.
By addressing the root causesof stress and finding support
from loved ones and healthcareprofessionals, I was able to
reclaim my health, happiness andmyself Sense of self-worth.
Moving forward, I carry with mea deep appreciation for the
(20:58):
importance of self-care,authenticity and surrounding
myself with people who upliftand support me.
My journey through alopecia mayhave been challenging, but it
ultimately led me to a place ofprofound growth, resilience and
inner peace, and for that I amforever grateful.
Remember, no one will be asinvested in your health and
(21:21):
well-being as you are.
So prioritize yourself, embracethe unknowns and trust in your
own journey of healing andself-discovery.
As always, I would love to hearfrom you.
If this episode or any of myprevious episodes resonate with
you, please send me a DM onInstagram at BalanceBabyPodcast.
(21:42):
I'll see you next week for thefinal episode of Season 1.
Together here we're creating acommunity of beautiful souls
ready to uplift each other,ready to experience all the joy
that this life has to offer us.
And don't forget life is allabout Balance, baby.
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