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May 29, 2024 18 mins

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Have you ever felt trapped by societal expectations, sacrificing your own happiness to please others? On Balance Baby, we explore the transformative power of manifestation and vibrational alignment, especially for women. Drawing from my own journey through therapy, separation, and divorce, I share how the teachings of Abraham Hicks helped me to break free from cultural conditioning. I’ve learned to prioritize my own well-being and shift away from the debilitating emotions of shame, guilt, and powerlessness. Discover how reconnecting with my true self led me to embrace my energy and live unapologetically.

Join me as I share an intimate look into the challenging yet rewarding path of self-discovery and authenticity. We delve into the process of unlearning deep-seated cultural norms and overcoming internalized guilt to fulfill our true needs and desires. Through introspection and boundary-setting, I highlight the importance of making choices that resonate with our true selves, fostering personal growth and well-being. My story aims to inspire you to break free from societal constraints, live authentically, and manifest your dreams. Together, let's create a supportive community that uplifts and empowers each other to align with our highest selves.

Join our community of radiant souls. Subscribe and tune in every Wednesday to hear the latest episode. Be a part of a vibrant tribe that supports, inspires, and grows together.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Harkaren (00:03):
Hello everyone and welcome to Balance Baby, the
podcast designed to help youconsistently show up as the best
version of yourself.
My name is Harkaren and I'll beyour host.
I'll be here every week sharingstories and teaching you
techniques to prioritize theonly thing we have any control

(00:25):
over in this world ourselves.
I see everything asinterconnected.
In each episode of my podcast,I aim to tie together different
ideas and concepts with somesort of cohesive theme, together

(00:48):
different ideas and conceptswith some sort of cohesive theme
.
My main focus is to share tipsand insight on how to lead a
fulfilling life, one that isaligned with your higher self.
Having a solo podcast lets meexplore topics deeply and share
my own perspective.
Through my podcast, I want togive you a glimpse into my
thoughts on various aspects oflife and what it takes to truly

(01:11):
thrive and find happiness.
Since we've been on the topicof vibrational alignment, I
thought it would be fitting todive into manifestation for this
week's episode.
What exactly is manifestationand how can we practice it?
But as I reflected, I foundmyself thinking about my own

(01:33):
journey with manifestation andthe obstacles that I faced, what
had held me back from creatingthe life that I truly desired,
as you know, in 2013, I firstdipped my toes into therapy, but
I took a break for about fouror five years, and it wasn't

(01:54):
until 2019, during my separationand divorce that I fully
re-engaged with the process.
It was during this period ofrediscovery that my therapist
introduced me to the teachingsof Abraham Hicks and I began to
grasp the concept of vibrationalalignment.
I remember pouring out my heartto my therapist, unraveling the

(02:19):
problems in my life.
She always helped me make senseof my thoughts and my feelings.
There was one moment inparticular where she offered me
clarity that I've kept with me.
She described how, when Ioperated from a place of
alignment, I felt a sense ofeffortless flow, as if life

(02:41):
itself was guiding me.
Challenges seemed manageableand I was at peace.
However, she also pointed outhow I often veered off course,
driven by external influencesand the desire to please others.
These moments of misalignmentpulled me away from my true path

(03:03):
, leaving me feelingdisconnected from myself.
I started wondering why did Ikeep letting myself get off
track?
I knew how good it felt to bealigned, but I still let other
things pull me away from it.
So I started digging deeper tofigure out why this is when I

(03:26):
began to understand that I,along with many other women
around me, had been conditionedto be people pleasers.
In many cultures around theworld, there is a strong
emphasis on women and girlscatering to others' needs before
their own.
This cultural conditioningoften teaches us to seek

(03:49):
validation throughself-sacrifice and to prioritize
the happiness of those aroundus, even at the expense of our
own well-being.
In my culture, there is a bigemphasis that a woman's
reputation is not our own.
It is a reflection of ourfamily.
This belief puts so muchpressure on us and leads us to

(04:13):
sacrifice personal desires andto live without boundaries.
We lived under the constantpressure of what will other
people think?
The constant pressure of whatwill other people think.
Women are often expected to beselfless and obedient, basing
their actions and decisions onwhat is deemed acceptable by our
families and our community.

(04:35):
This external validationbecomes a key measure of
self-worth, leading to the habitof people-pleasing.
As a result, many of us grow upinternalizing the idea that our
value is tied to how we canmeet the expectations of others.
From such a young age, we'retaught to abandon ourselves,

(04:58):
that someone outside of us knowswhat's best for us.
We were taught that puttingourselves first is selfish, and
we were guilted into thinkingthat we have it easy compared to
the past generations, andthat's not a lie.
We are blessed withopportunities that our ancestors

(05:19):
could only dream of, but that'snot the issue.
The issue is the underlyingmessage that our desires, needs
and feelings are less importantthan fulfilling the expectations
placed upon us.
This conditioning creates acycle where self-sacrifice
becomes the norm and we learn tosuppress our own voices,

(05:43):
doubting our ability to makedecisions that align with our
true selves.
Over time, this leads to a deepsense of disconnection from who
we really are and what we wantout of life.
It caused us to live withfeelings of shame, guilt and
powerlessness.

(06:03):
Feelings of shame, guilt andpowerlessness, and sadly, these
emotions are at the very bottomof the vibrational scale of
alignment.
When we are consumed by thesefeelings, we are completely
misaligned with our true selvesand our highest potential.
From this place of misalignment, the actions we take are never

(06:25):
truly aligned with our highestgood.
Instead, they are often drivenby fear, insecurity and the need
for external validation.
Understanding this has helped meunderstand a lot of the choices
I made in my teens and early20s.

(06:46):
It helps me understand why Ichose my ex-husband to be my
partner, and I see clearly thehealing that needed to take
place through the destruction ofthat relationship.
There have been so many momentsin my life where I felt alone
or unseen, but those feelingsonly pushed me to connect deeper

(07:10):
with myself.
There is no one on this earthwho knows what's best for me
more than me.
I will upset whoever I need bychoosing myself.
I spent so much of my lifetrying to please others, and now
the only person whose opinionmatters is my own.

(07:32):
This is truly a beautiful anduplifting place to be, and all I
want is for others to feel ittoo.
Something truly magical happenswhen you recognize the beauty of
your own energy.
When you stop trying to dimyour light and allow yourself to

(07:54):
shine unapologetically.
There is a beautiful wave ofpositivity that radiates from
you.
The same people who once triedto put me in a box now embrace
who I am showing up as.
Those who once sought todictate how I should live my
life can now see that I'm everexpanding, constantly evolving,

(08:18):
and there's no turning back.
It demonstrates thetransformative power of
self-love and self-acceptance.
Sometimes I wonder who would Ibe if I was allowed to shine
brightly from the beginning, ifI was taught self-love and
self-worth but dwelling on thepast won't change anything and

(08:42):
if I didn't go through all thatI've gone through, I would not
be me, and I love this versionof me.
I have taught myself how to livein vibrational alignment with
my highest self and it feels somuch sweeter because of all the
struggle I had to overcome toget here.

(09:03):
From this place of vibrationalalignment, I can attract into my
life the people and experiencesI desire, and that is the key
to manifestation.
That is the very importantpoint that is missing from most
social media posts aboutmanifestation.

(09:23):
It's not just some buzzword.
It's not a magic phrase thatyou repeat three times over
three days to get what you want.
It is when you create yourreality from a place of
vibrational alignment with yourhighest self.
So when you're at the top endof the scale, when you're
feeling love, joy, appreciation,empowerment and you

(09:47):
deliberately begin to align yourthoughts and emotions with what
you want in your life, and then, when an opportunity arises,
you take inspired action.
In my own life, I havemanifested many things many
times, like a new job, a newhome and even an encounter with

(10:11):
AP Dillon.
I'll save the AP story foranother day, but today I'll tell
you about how I manifested myapartment by the beach.
It was March 2021, and my friendand I had gone out to get some
food and catch up.
Afterwards we decided to go fora walk around Falls Creek.

(10:32):
While we were walking, I lookedaround at the buildings and
their view and I said wouldn'tit be amazing to live here?
She agreed and asked if I wasconsidering moving out.
I told her no, I was justsaying that because of the view.
Although it would be nice tolive alone, it wouldn't make
sense right now and downtownwould be too far.

(10:55):
Because my sister was having ababy in a few months and I
wanted to be nearby in case sheneeded my help.
I had immediately shut down theidea without really giving it
any genuine thought.
Immediately shut down the ideawithout really giving it any
genuine thought, but the seedhad been planted, the desire was
there and I was doing the innerwork, so I was already in a

(11:15):
place of alignment.
Quickly, over the next few weeks, my home situation became
unlivable and on top of that,unlivable, and on top of that, I
was working from home full-time.
I didn't have an office at myhouse, so I had a desk in my
bedroom and essentially spentall day every day in my bedroom.

(11:37):
Sometimes, when I feel lost orconfused with the direction of
my life, I'll do a tarot readingfor myself for some clarity.
This particular reading told methat a big change was coming
and that my situation with aparticular person wasn't going
to improve until there was somespace between us.

(11:59):
To me, the message was clear.
I had to move.
I created a budget and I startedbrowsing listings within like a
50 kilometer radius of myparents' house.
I went to view a few places,but nothing was quite right.
And then, about 10 days aftermy search started, I saw a

(12:24):
posting for a place in the FalseCreek neighborhood.
The posting had been up forless than 24 hours and it seemed
too good to be true.
It was downtown, it waspet-friendly, it was furnished
with utilities included andin-suite laundry, and it was

(12:45):
within my budget.
I was almost certain it was ascam, but I decided to send a
message anyways.
I got a call from a woman thesame day.
She said she was the assistantof the property manager and just
wanted some more informationabout me.
After our brief chat, she gaveme the property manager's number

(13:07):
and asked me to call him toarrange a viewing.
I immediately googled the phonenumber and it was legit.
I was cautiously optimistic.
We arranged to meet at the uniton a Thursday.
The previous tenant was stillthere, so I got to chat with him

(13:28):
for a bit.
I told the manager that I wasready to proceed with the next
steps and he asked me to submitan application to him, which I
did that night.
I didn't hear back from him fora day and then two days, and
then I started to get a bitworried.
I decided to call him andfollow up, and good thing I did,

(13:51):
because my application had goneto his spam folder.
Within one week of the viewing.
I had signed the lease.
I was about to start living outa childhood dream of mine to
live downtown on my own and inmy ideal neighborhood at that.
All because I asked, wouldn'tit be amazing to live here?

(14:16):
And then followed my intuitiveguidance.
The experience of living alonedeepened my love and
appreciation for myself andcreated an even deeper trust
with the universe.
In hindsight I could see howthat experience was essential
for my soul's evolution, so Ibelieve it was my intuition that

(14:42):
led me there for a walk thatday and to ask the question.
It was the universe thatrearranged my circumstances and
challenged me to embrace change,and it was synchronicities that
made everything align inperfect timing.
No-transcript.

(15:10):
Thank you so much for tuning into my seventh episode of season
two.
The journey to self-discoveryand authenticity was not an easy
one.
It involved unlearning a lot ofcultural conditioning that

(15:31):
shaped my early life.
I had to confront theinternalized guilt and shame
that had been instilled in meand learn to prioritize my own
needs and desires.
This process required a lot ofintrospection and, in many ways,
a re-education on what it meansto live authentically.

(15:54):
As I began to understand myselfbetter, I realized the
importance of setting boundariesand making choices that aligned
with my true self, rather thansimply rebelling against the old
ways.
This shift in perspective wascrucial for my personal growth

(16:15):
and well-being.
It allowed me to start living alife that was true to who I am,
rather than one dictated byexternal expectations.
This experience has beentransformative, and it's
something I continue to work onevery day.
Been transformative, and it'ssomething I continue to work on

(16:39):
every day.
By sharing my journey, I hope toinspire others who may be
struggling with similar issues,it's possible to break free from
cultural conditioning and tolive a life that truly reflects
who you are.
The path is not always easy, butit is deeply rewarding and it's
an essential step towardsfinding true happiness and

(16:59):
fulfillment.
I understand now that I havethe privilege of being guided by
my intuition and manifesting mydesires, but only because I've
put in the work to dismantle theconditioning that once held me
back, by establishing boundariesthat may not align with the

(17:22):
beliefs of the older generationbut definitely keep me aligned
with my highest self.
I've reclaimed my power and getto truly live the life I
deserve, and get to truly livethe life I deserve.
Through this process, I'velearned to trust my inner voice
and honor my true desires,paving the way for a life that

(17:44):
is authentically mine.
And the cherry on top is thatthe universe supports us in
manifesting our dreams when weare in alignment with our true
selves.
Together here we're creating acommunity of beautiful souls,
ready to uplift each other,ready to experience all the joy

(18:06):
that this life has to offer us.
And don't forget life is allabout balance, baby.
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