May 14, 2025 • 24 mins
Feeling rejected? How to find your strength as an entrepreneur & keep going
Rejection is a tough pill to swallow in the entrepreneurial world. On this episode of Balanced, Steph gets real about those moments that make you question everything. But it's not about avoiding the "nos," it's about how you respond to them.
Learn her empowering "BOUNCE" method, a practical guide to reframe rejection, build inner resilience, and tap into your support system. These six steps will help you navigate those inevitable setbacks and keep your entrepreneurial journey on track. Consider this your mini-workshop on how to choose a mindset of growth and keep your entrepreneurial fire burning bright!
What You'll Learn:
- [0:15] My First Big "Ouch!": The story of my initial client rejection and the self-doubt spiral.
- [2:03] It's Not a Sign You Should Quit: Why rejection is a common (and survivable!) part of entrepreneurship.
- 5:18] Remember Who You Are: Separating your identity from a single outcome.
- [8:35] Maybe It's Pointing You Somewhere Better?: Reframing rejection as a potential redirection.
- [9:50] My 6-Step Secret Weapon: The BOUNCE Method for Building Resilience.
- B - Brief Pause: Give yourself permission to feel it, then regroup.
- O - Observe: Take a step back and look at the facts (and your feelings).
- U - Uncover: What's the hidden lesson in this experience?
- N - Navigate: What's one small step you can take forward?
- C - Choose: Decide that this will make you stronger, not weaker.
- E - Enlist: You're not alone – reach out for support and encouragement.
- Keep Believing: Why your vision is worth fighting for.
Need a Little Extra Support?
- Feeling Stuck After a Setback? Let's get you some clarity. Book a no-pressure chat with Starlight Bookkeeping today to discuss your business finances.
- You Have the Power to Bounce Back from Anything - Including Financial Drain! Get your free copy of "The Leaky Bucket Report" and uncover the hidden ways your business could be hemorrhaging cash.
- Don't Miss the Next Dose of Encouragement & Business Wisdom! Subscribe to Balanced for more relatable episodes.
- Know Someone Who Needs This Message? Share this episode with a fellow entrepreneur who's facing a tough "no."
Help inspire others! Share this episode if it resonated with you.
Want more tips on balancing business and life? Follow me on Instagram for insights on bookkeeping, business, and everything in between!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Steph Blain (00:40):
Hey, and welcome back to the show.
I'm your host, Stephanie, andtoday we're talking about
something that everyentrepreneur faces, but almost
no one likes to talk about,which is rejection.
The kind that stings makes youdoubt yourself and maybe even
makes you wonder if you shouldjust throw in the towel.
But here's the thing, rejectionisn't the end.
In fact, sometimes it's just thebeginning of something better.
(01:04):
I wanna take you back to themoment that I tried to land my
very first bookkeeping client.
We were chatting online.
It was nothing fancy.
It was just a few emails backand forth, but I remember being
so excited that someone wasactually interested in working
with me.
I shared what I could offer, howI could help them organize their
finances.
Everything seemed to be goingreally well until they asked me
(01:26):
a very simple question.
Can you provide any referrals ortestimonials from past clients?
And unfortunately, my heart sankbecause since I was so brand
new, I had no prior referrals.
I tried to reassure them that Iwould do a great job, I've taken
the appropriate training, all ofthose things.
But I could tell through theirtone and their questions that
(01:47):
they became really hesitant.
And a few days later, I got theemail they decided to go with
someone else.
Someone more experienced.
And in other words, it was a no.
And let me tell you thatrejection stung so much.
I shut my laptop.
I had myself a little pitymoment, and I just genuinely
thought, this is it.
(02:07):
Like I'm never going to get aclient who's gonna take a chance
on me if one person wouldn't.
It felt like all of the hopes Ihad for my little business were
crushed in an instant.
So maybe you've been there too,in your own little version of
that story.
Maybe you've pitched yourproduct to a customer or applied
for a business loan or offeredyour services to someone and you
(02:28):
got a big fat No, it hurts rightin that moment with my first
prospect, I felt so embarrassedthat I didn't have those magical
referrals that they wanted.
I started questioningeverything.
Was I crazy to start thisbusiness?
Should I just quit before Ihumiliate myself even more?
I was deep in a spiral ofself-doubt, and if you've ever
(02:49):
felt that way after a rejection,you're not alone.
Because in fact, I think almostevery entrepreneur, every small
business owner, every sidehustler has tasted that bitter
flavor of rejection at somepoint.
Here's the thing I wish someonehad told me back then.
Rejection is a normal, almostinevitable part of the
entrepreneurial journey.
(03:09):
It's not just you or me, it'severyone in this game.
Let's normalize it with a coupleof quick facts.
According to a study, about 20%of small businesses fail within
their first year, and roughly50% fail by their fifth year.
Now, I don't mean to rattlethese stats off to scare you,
but just to show you thatsetbacks happen to a lot of us.
Half of new businesses might noteven make it to year five, which
(03:32):
means a whole lot ofentrepreneurs here know in
various forms and have plansthat don't work out on their
first try.
Even some of the most successfulpeople have faced rejection and
failure early on.
We've all heard the story of JKRowling, right?
Her manuscript for Harry Potterwas rejected by 12 publishers
before one finally said yes.
(03:53):
Can you imagine if she had givenup after her first or second
rejection?
We'd have no Harry Potter.
What a crazy world.
The point is, every overnightsuccess that you see often has a
trail of no thanks, notinterested.
You're not quite what we'relooking for behind it.
Well, let's talk specificallyabout hearing.
No, because as business ownersand creatives, we don't just
face failure in a broad sense.
(04:15):
We face personal rejections.
Maybe a client chose someoneelse, or an investor passes on
your idea or 50 people in a rowdecline your product demo.
It feels personal, but again,it's incredibly common.
In fact, one sales study foundthat customers often say no
about four times before finallysaying yes to a purchase.
Yet, despite that nearly 44% ofpeople will give up after
(04:38):
hearing just one.
No, almost half.
And by the time you've heard ano, four times in a row, 92% of
people have thrown in the towelaltogether.
When I first heard those stats,it blew my mind a little bit.
It means that if you have theresilience to keep going after
1, 2, 3, even four rejections,you're already doing what most
(04:58):
people won't.
You're literally settingyourself apart from the pack by
just hanging in there.
That next attempt, that fifthtry, could be the one that
works, but you'll only get to itif you don't quit in the phase
of the earlier note.
Okay, so we've established thatrejection happens to everyone
and it happens a lot, butknowing that doesn't magically
make it hurt less.
(05:19):
Let's be real.
When you pour your heart intosomething, your business, your
art, your pitch, and someonesays, no thanks, it stinks.
It can shake your confidence andmake you question your worth.
So how do we deal with thatemotional hit?
How do we keep these inevitablenos from derailing us?
This is where we need to reframehow we view rejection.
One of the biggest lessons thatI've learned, and I'm still
(05:42):
learning to be honest, is this,you are not your results.
Let me say that again.
You are not your results.
Your worth as a person is notdefined by how one meeting or
one sales call went.
If you get a no, it doesn't meanthat you are a failure or that
your business is doomed.
It means that one thing didn'twork out this time, it's an
(06:03):
outcome.
And not a reflection of yourcharacter or your potential In
the moment I got that emailturning down my services, I did
feel like I was being rejected.
Like I wasn't good enough.
But now I see that rejection forwhat it was, one potential
client's decision based on theirneeds and comfort level.
It wasn't a verdict on myabilities or on the viability of
(06:25):
my business.
They didn't say, you'reterrible, give up.
They basically just said, weneed someone with a bit more
experience right now.
That's all.
But oh my goodness, did my braintry to spin it into I am
terrible and I should give up.
Our brains love to makerejection personal when it
isn't.
So a powerful reframe is toremind yourself this.
(06:46):
This No is not about me as aperson.
It might not even be about mylong-term business success.
It's just about this particularoffer, not fitting this
particular situation.
Maybe the person who said nowasn't your ideal client
anyways.
Maybe the market timing wasn'tright.
Maybe you need to tweaksomething and try again.
There's a saying that I love.
(07:06):
Rejection is redirection.
Often a no is steering youtowards a better yes or teaching
you something that you needed tolearn.
And it's always an opportunityto grow stronger in resilience.
Now, I know that all of this iseasier said than done.
It's one thing to say, don'ttake it personally.
You're not your results and awhole other thing to actually
(07:28):
feel that in your gut whenyou've been knocked down.
Trust me, I get it.
So.
Over the years, as I faced moreand more of these moments, I
realized I needed a game plan,something practical to help me
move through rejection withoutletting it stop me, and that's
how I developed what I call thebounce method for handling
failure and rejection.
It's basically a six stepprocess to help you bounce back
(07:50):
when you get hit with a setback.
BOUNCE stands for brief pause,observe, uncover, navigate.
Choose and enlist.
These steps have been gamechanging for me.
Whenever I hear a no orexperience a flop and I wanna
walk through each one of themwith you, by the end of this,
you'll have a little toolbox forresilience that you can pull out
(08:10):
the next time you face arejection.
Sound good?
Okay, let's jump in.
B brief pause.
Okay.
The first step when youencounter a rejection or a
failure is to take a briefpause.
Basically stop, breathe, andgive yourself a moment.
This sounds almost too simple,but it's incredibly important.
When you get bad news or a no,your emotions can go haywire,
(08:32):
panic, disappointment, anger,you name it.
In that state, it's really easyto react impulsively or
negatively.
I don't wanna admit how manytimes I've drafted a snarky
reply email in the heat of themoment.
Thankfully, I never hit send,but those emails happen by
pausing even for a few minutesor a day.
You allow those intense emotionsto settle before you do anything
(08:54):
else, maybe you step outside andtake a short walk.
Maybe you close your eyes andtake five deep breaths.
Maybe you sleep on it overnight.
This brief pause creates alittle space between the event,
the rejection, and your responseto it.
In my case, with that firstclient, I definitely did pause,
though it looked like curling upin a ball and crying a little
bit.
(09:15):
Honestly, that was my version ofa pause and release.
I needed to let those feelingsout.
Only after that could I startthinking rationally again.
So whatever a pause looks likefor you, do it.
Don't fire an O off an email ormake a big decision.
In the heat of the moment.
Give yourself permission to stepaway and regroup, even if it's
just for an hour.
(09:35):
It's like hitting the resetbutton on your emotional state.
Next is observe.
Once you've taken that littlepause and your head is a bit
cooler, the next step is toobserve.
It means calmly observe whathappened and what you're
feeling, almost like you're anoutsider looking in on the
situation.
Think of it as being a detectiveabout your own experience.
You're collecting facts andnoticing feelings.
(09:58):
Start with the facts.
So what exactly was therejection?
What reasons were given, if any?
Who said what?
Stick to the objective detailsin my story.
The facts were a potentialclient said no, mainly because I
had no prior client references.
Those are facts.
Next, observe your internalreactions.
What emotions are you feelingand name them.
(10:18):
I feel hurt.
I feel embarrassed.
I feel discouraged and a littleangry.
By observing, you're doing twoimportant things.
You're separating facts from thestory.
Your inner critic might bespinning, and two, you're
acknowledging your feelingswithout judgment.
When I did this, in hindsight,for that first rejection, I
could see, okay, objectively oneperson didn't hire me because
(10:40):
I'm new.
That's one data point, andsubjectively, I'm feeling like
this is the end of the world,which is my fear, talking not
the reality.
Observing keeps you in reality.
One, no from one client versusI'll never succeed, which was
the dramatic conclusion myemotions wanted to jump to.
So take a moment to observe.
(11:00):
What is this rejection reallyabout and how are you reacting
to it?
It's almost like you're creatinga little mental report.
This helps you gain clarityinstead of a vague cloud of, I'm
a failure and everything'sawful.
You pinpoint, I'm upset becausethis client had concerns about
my experience level.
That's a lot more specific andmanageable.
Next is uncover.
(11:22):
Now that you've got the factsand feelings laid out, it's time
to uncover the lessons andinsights hidden in the
experience.
I genuinely believe that everyrejection carries a gift, but
sometimes you have to do alittle digging to find it.
In this step, ask yourself, whatcan I learn from this?
What is this no showing me thatI might not have seen otherwise?
There are usually two places tolook.
(11:44):
External, practical lessons fromyour business strategy and
internal, your own mindset andbeliefs.
In my example, externally, Iuncovered a very practical
lesson, potential clients value,referrals and testimonials.
That was a gap for me.
So a lesson was that I mightneed to find another way to
build trust maybe by doing asmall trial project or
(12:05):
collecting reviews as soon as Igot even a tiny client or
showcasing other credibilitymarkers that was useful.
Now internally, I also uncoveredsomething crucial, that
rejection triggered a limitingbelief in me.
The belief that I'm not goodenough, or I'll never get a
client because I'm new.
It's important to uncover thatkind of self-talk because it
(12:26):
lurks in the shadows and does anumber on your confidence.
Once I realized I was tellingmyself that story, I could
challenge it.
For you, uncovering mightreveal, say that a failed sales
pitch taught you a new insightabout what your customers
actually want.
Or maybe it revealed a weaknessin your approach that you can
fix.
On the internal side, maybe arejection uncovers a fear of
(12:48):
visibility or a fear of askingfor help that you didn't know
was holding you Take a moment todig deep.
Write it down even.
What is this situation teachingme?
It could be something like, Ineed to prepare better next
time, or I realized I wastargeting the wrong audience, or
even I learned that I value mywork enough to not lower my
prices just to avoid a no.
(13:08):
There's always something touncover.
It doesn't mean that therejection was fun, but it can be
purposeful if you uncover theinsight it offers.
Next is navigate.
As in navigate your next steps,rejection can feel like a
roadblock.
So this step is about finding away around the roadblock and
continuing forward.
In other words, what will you donext?
(13:29):
You've paused, you've observed,you've uncovered some lessons.
Now it's time to put a plan oraction into place based on what
you've learned.
Think of it like you wereheading down a path and it was
closed.
You need to find a detour routeon that map.
This could mean pivotingslightly or trying a different
strategy, but it definitelymeans keep moving.
Let's say you uncover that lackof trust or credibility is what
(13:52):
led to the rejection.
Navigating from that might looklike finding ways to build
social proof, maybe by offeringa discounted trial, collecting
testimonials from smallerprojects, or highlighting past
experiences in a new way.
It could mean strengthening yourwebsite, updating your
portfolio, or getting clearer onhow you communicate your value.
Whatever it looks like, the keyis to adjust and move forward
(14:14):
with intention.
This is the step where you say,that didn't land.
So how can we try again in aslightly smarter way?
Navigation might also meansimply trying again, contacting
the next potential client onyour list, applying for another
loan with a different bank,tweaking your sales pitch and
going back at it.
The key is you're not stayingstuck at the point of rejection.
(14:35):
You're using what you uncoveredto inform your next move.
Maybe you adjust your approachor target a different customer
or improve your skills in anarea that was lacking big or
small, decide on at least onenext step forward.
By doing that, you take back thesense of control and momentum
that rejection often steals fromus.
You say, okay, that door closed.
(14:57):
I'm gonna knock on the next one,but maybe with a better knock
this time.
It turns a dead end into just adetour.
Next is choose.
This step is all about thechoices you make in your
mindset.
After a setback, you need tochoose how you define the
experience and how you moveforward mentally.
We might not get to choose thatwe got rejected, but we do get
(15:18):
to choose what meaning we giveto it and what attitude we
adopt.
So ask yourself, what am Ichoosing here?
For example, you can choose tosee a rejection as proof that
you're awful.
Which we're not going to do, oryou can choose to see it as a
temporary result or even achallenge to overcome.
You can choose to dwell innegativity, or you can choose
(15:39):
growth and optimism.
This is where you reclaim yourpower.
In my story, after I licked mywounds for a little while, I
made a conscious choice.
I decided that one no is notgoing to define my entire
journey.
I literally remember tellingmyself, alright, I can either
let this make me quit, or I canlet this be the reason that I
work harder and smarter.
(15:59):
I chose the ladder.
I chose not to give up.
I chose to believe that I wouldget a client eventually, and
that this was just a learningexperience, even if it still
hurt at the time.
It is not an easy choice, trustme.
I know, and this is just onestory of many that I'm giving an
example of, but I know howenticing it can be to choose the
pity party.
(16:20):
I've RSVP'd yes to a few ofthose myself, but staying in
that defeated head space doesn'tget you to where you wanna go.
So choose resilience.
Choose to separate your identityfrom the outcome.
Just like we talked about.
You might even choose to begrateful for the learning
opportunity.
That's advanced level reframing,but it truly helps or simply
(16:40):
choose to be determined.
Like, okay, world, you gave me ano.
Watch me somehow turn this intoa yes.
This step is about the decisionto keep going and keep believing
in yourself.
That mindset choice will carryyou through the ups and the
downs.
It's empowering to say, I decidewhat this means, not them.
Rejection can't break you unlessyou let it.
(17:01):
And here you are choosing not tolet it.
The final step in the bouncemethod is enlist, as in enlist
support and help from others.
Just because you're asolopreneur or running a small
business doesn't mean you haveto face all the challenges
alone.
In fact, when you hit a lowpoint, that is the best time to
reach out and enlist someoneelse's perspective, support, or
expertise.
(17:23):
This could mean calling up amentor or a coach and saying,
Hey, I just went through thissetback.
Can I get your advice?
It could mean texting a fellowentrepreneur and sharing what
happened and how you feel.
Chances are they've been throughsomething similar and they can
help reassure you.
It might even mean enlistingprofessional help, like talking
to a business advisor or joininga mastermind group or even
(17:43):
delegating some tasks.
So that you can focus onbouncing back.
I wanna be honest here.
Reaching out for support afterrejection can feel vulnerable,
but it's also incrediblypowerful after one particularly
discouraging experience that Ihad early on.
I opened up to a few people inmy circle, and I didn't go into
every detail, but just sayingout loud that I was struggling,
(18:03):
helped more than I evenexpected.
I didn't feel so alone in itanymore.
And while I didn't get asolution handed to me, what I
did get was moral support, andthat alone made it easier to
stand back up and try again.
Okay.
Maybe you enlist your partner tohandle dinner that night because
you're emotionally drained, oryou enlist a team member to take
on a task that's been stressingyou out.
(18:23):
The point is, don't isolate whenyou're feeling defeated.
There are people out there whowant to help you succeed.
Let them.
Sometimes just hearing anoutside perspective, like one
client's decision, doesn'tdefine you from someone you can
trust, can help snap you backinto a positive mindset, or they
might remind you of how faryou've come or help you
brainstorm new ideas.
(18:44):
Rejection can make us feellonely, like we're the only ones
struggling.
So enlisting others createsconnection and reminds you that
you have support systems and weall need that no matter how
independent or strong we thinkwe are.
So that's bounce.
Brief pause, observe, uncover,navigate, choose, and enlist.
(19:07):
It's a handy little roadmap formoving through rejection or
failure without losing yourmomentum.
Now I wanna bring this back tothose early days when I faced
that first real rejection.
I chose to keep going.
I didn't have a fancy plan orframework at the time, just a
gut feeling that I wasn't readyto give up yet.
I leaned into what would laterbecome the bounce method without
(19:27):
even realizing it.
I gave myself a moment to feeldiscouraged.
I reflected and I chose to keepmoving, and I'm so glad that I
did.
That moment, which felt huge atthe time, is honestly such a
small blip.
Now, I've had bigger flops andharder nos since then, moments
that really tested me.
But I've also built a businessthat I love and I wouldn't have
(19:47):
gotten here if I let that first.
No, stop me.
I wouldn't be here.
Getting to encourage you to keepgoing.
I want you to walk away fromthis episode remembering one
crucial thing.
Rejection is not a dead end.
It's just a detour.
Every single no you hear isactually building your
resilience muscle and steeringyou closer to the right path or
(20:07):
the right client.
It's not the end of your story.
Far from it, you're still worthyof your dreams, of successes, of
the vision that you have foryour life, regardless of how
many nos you've encountered.
one person's opinion or ahundred people's opinion, do not
determine your value or yourdestiny.
Sometimes the nos are justlife's way of saying.
(20:27):
Not this way.
Try another route.
Sometimes they're preparing you,shaping you, sharpening your
ideas so that when you finallyget the yes, you're truly ready
for it.
So if you're in that tough spotright now, maybe you've lost a
big sale or your launch didn'tgo as planned, or you got passed
over for an opportunity, I'mtalking directly to you now.
Do not give up.
(20:48):
Feel the feelings.
Yes, it's okay to bedisappointed, but don't believe
that this rejection means youare not good enough or that you
are not cut out for this.
You are good enough and you arecut out for it.
How do I know?
Because you're here investing inyourself ready to grow and learn
and bounce back.
That tells me that you have theheart of an entrepreneur, one
(21:09):
who might get knocked down seventimes, but then stands right
back up.
So as we wrap up, let's do aquick recap of that bounce
method so that it really stickswith you.
Brief pause when something goeswrong.
Take a breath.
Observe the facts and yourfeelings.
Separate the two.
Then uncover the lessons and anyhidden insights.
(21:29):
Find the gold in the dirt.
Next, navigate your next steps.
Adjust and keep moving.
Choose your mindset.
Decide that this will make youbetter, not bitter and enlist
support.
You're not alone.
So ask for help orencouragement.
Keep this framework in your backpocket and the next time a
rejection comes your way, you'llknow exactly what to do.
(21:50):
You might still feel the sting.
We're all human, but you won'tbe paralyzed by it.
You'll know how to keep going.
I believe in you and I know thatthe dreams that you're chasing
are so worth the occasional doorbeing slammed in your face.
In fact, those closed doorsmight just be redirecting you to
an even better opportunity.
Every no is one step closer tothe yes that matters, and every
(22:12):
time you bounce back, you proveto yourself and maybe even to
the universe that you areunstoppable.
Remember, the most successfulentrepreneurs aren't the ones
who never failed.
They're the ones who refuse toquit when they failed.
You're writing your own successstory and plot twist like
rejection, make the ending thatmuch more triumphant.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today and listening
(22:35):
to my heart on this topic.
I hope you're walking awayfeeling a little lighter and a
lot more empowered to face thenext know that comes your way.
If you enjoyed this episode orif it spoke to you, I'd love to
connect with you over Instagram.
Come find me over there and sayhi.
I share more behind the scenesof my own business journey,
little pep talks and tips onresilience and finances.
(22:55):
I'd be thrilled to hear yourstories of rejection and how you
bounce back, or even if you justneed someone to remind you how
awesome you are on a tough day.
My dms are always open, andspeaking of not doing it alone,
if you need help with thefinancial side of your business,
that is exactly what my companyStarlight Bookkeeping loves to
do.
We take the bookkeeping andnumber crunching off your plate
(23:16):
so that you can focus on growingyour dream with less stress.
So if managing the books is oneof those things that's been
making you feel overwhelmed ormaybe you've just been avoiding
it, no shame.
We all have our zone of genius.
Mine just happens to bespreadsheets.
So consider this your gentleinvitation to let us help.
Starlight Bookkeeping is here tosupport you at cheery on and
handle the financial details sothat you can shine in the work
(23:39):
you're truly passionate about.
Okay.
All right, friend.
That's a wrap for today'sepisode.
Remember, rejection andresilience go hand in hand.
Every no can be a stepping stoneif you choose to make it.
So keep that beautiful chin upand keep going.
Rejection is not the end of yourstory.
It might just be the beginningof a new chapter.
You are worthy, capable, andstronger than any no, that comes
(24:00):
your way.
I'm so proud of you for pursuingyour dreams, and I can't wait to
see you conquer whatever comesnext.
Until next time.
Stay inspired, keep hustling,and never forget you've got
this.
See you in the next episode.
Hey, and welcome back to the show.
I'm your host, Stephanie, andtoday we're talking about
something that everyentrepreneur faces, but almost
no one likes to talk about,which is rejection.
The kind that stings makes youdoubt yourself and maybe even
makes you wonder if you shouldjust throw in the towel.
But here's the thing, rejectionisn't the end.
In fact, sometimes it's just thebeginning of something better.
(01:04):
I wanna take you back to themoment that I tried to land my
very first bookkeeping client.
We were chatting online.
It was nothing fancy.
It was just a few emails backand forth, but I remember being
so excited that someone wasactually interested in working
with me.
I shared what I could offer, howI could help them organize their
finances.
Everything seemed to be goingreally well until they asked me
(01:26):
a very simple question.
Can you provide any referrals ortestimonials from past clients?
And unfortunately, my heart sankbecause since I was so brand
new, I had no prior referrals.
I tried to reassure them that Iwould do a great job, I've taken
the appropriate training, all ofthose things.
But I could tell through theirtone and their questions that
(01:47):
they became really hesitant.
And a few days later, I got theemail they decided to go with
someone else.
Someone more experienced.
And in other words, it was a no.
And let me tell you thatrejection stung so much.
I shut my laptop.
I had myself a little pitymoment, and I just genuinely
thought, this is it.
(02:07):
Like I'm never going to get aclient who's gonna take a chance
on me if one person wouldn't.
It felt like all of the hopes Ihad for my little business were
crushed in an instant.
So maybe you've been there too,in your own little version of
that story.
Maybe you've pitched yourproduct to a customer or applied
for a business loan or offeredyour services to someone and you
(02:28):
got a big fat No, it hurts rightin that moment with my first
prospect, I felt so embarrassedthat I didn't have those magical
referrals that they wanted.
I started questioningeverything.
Was I crazy to start thisbusiness?
Should I just quit before Ihumiliate myself even more?
I was deep in a spiral ofself-doubt, and if you've ever
(02:49):
felt that way after a rejection,you're not alone.
Because in fact, I think almostevery entrepreneur, every small
business owner, every sidehustler has tasted that bitter
flavor of rejection at somepoint.
Here's the thing I wish someonehad told me back then.
Rejection is a normal, almostinevitable part of the
entrepreneurial journey.
(03:09):
It's not just you or me, it'severyone in this game.
Let's normalize it with a coupleof quick facts.
According to a study, about 20%of small businesses fail within
their first year, and roughly50% fail by their fifth year.
Now, I don't mean to rattlethese stats off to scare you,
but just to show you thatsetbacks happen to a lot of us.
Half of new businesses might noteven make it to year five, which
(03:32):
means a whole lot ofentrepreneurs here know in
various forms and have plansthat don't work out on their
first try.
Even some of the most successfulpeople have faced rejection and
failure early on.
We've all heard the story of JKRowling, right?
Her manuscript for Harry Potterwas rejected by 12 publishers
before one finally said yes.
(03:53):
Can you imagine if she had givenup after her first or second
rejection?
We'd have no Harry Potter.
What a crazy world.
The point is, every overnightsuccess that you see often has a
trail of no thanks, notinterested.
You're not quite what we'relooking for behind it.
Well, let's talk specificallyabout hearing.
No, because as business ownersand creatives, we don't just
face failure in a broad sense.
(04:15):
We face personal rejections.
Maybe a client chose someoneelse, or an investor passes on
your idea or 50 people in a rowdecline your product demo.
It feels personal, but again,it's incredibly common.
In fact, one sales study foundthat customers often say no
about four times before finallysaying yes to a purchase.
Yet, despite that nearly 44% ofpeople will give up after
(04:38):
hearing just one.
No, almost half.
And by the time you've heard ano, four times in a row, 92% of
people have thrown in the towelaltogether.
When I first heard those stats,it blew my mind a little bit.
It means that if you have theresilience to keep going after
1, 2, 3, even four rejections,you're already doing what most
(04:58):
people won't.
You're literally settingyourself apart from the pack by
just hanging in there.
That next attempt, that fifthtry, could be the one that
works, but you'll only get to itif you don't quit in the phase
of the earlier note.
Okay, so we've established thatrejection happens to everyone
and it happens a lot, butknowing that doesn't magically
make it hurt less.
(05:19):
Let's be real.
When you pour your heart intosomething, your business, your
art, your pitch, and someonesays, no thanks, it stinks.
It can shake your confidence andmake you question your worth.
So how do we deal with thatemotional hit?
How do we keep these inevitablenos from derailing us?
This is where we need to reframehow we view rejection.
One of the biggest lessons thatI've learned, and I'm still
(05:42):
learning to be honest, is this,you are not your results.
Let me say that again.
You are not your results.
Your worth as a person is notdefined by how one meeting or
one sales call went.
If you get a no, it doesn't meanthat you are a failure or that
your business is doomed.
It means that one thing didn'twork out this time, it's an
(06:03):
outcome.
And not a reflection of yourcharacter or your potential In
the moment I got that emailturning down my services, I did
feel like I was being rejected.
Like I wasn't good enough.
But now I see that rejection forwhat it was, one potential
client's decision based on theirneeds and comfort level.
It wasn't a verdict on myabilities or on the viability of
(06:25):
my business.
They didn't say, you'reterrible, give up.
They basically just said, weneed someone with a bit more
experience right now.
That's all.
But oh my goodness, did my braintry to spin it into I am
terrible and I should give up.
Our brains love to makerejection personal when it
isn't.
So a powerful reframe is toremind yourself this.
(06:46):
This No is not about me as aperson.
It might not even be about mylong-term business success.
It's just about this particularoffer, not fitting this
particular situation.
Maybe the person who said nowasn't your ideal client
anyways.
Maybe the market timing wasn'tright.
Maybe you need to tweaksomething and try again.
There's a saying that I love.
(07:06):
Rejection is redirection.
Often a no is steering youtowards a better yes or teaching
you something that you needed tolearn.
And it's always an opportunityto grow stronger in resilience.
Now, I know that all of this iseasier said than done.
It's one thing to say, don'ttake it personally.
You're not your results and awhole other thing to actually
(07:28):
feel that in your gut whenyou've been knocked down.
Trust me, I get it.
So.
Over the years, as I faced moreand more of these moments, I
realized I needed a game plan,something practical to help me
move through rejection withoutletting it stop me, and that's
how I developed what I call thebounce method for handling
failure and rejection.
It's basically a six stepprocess to help you bounce back
(07:50):
when you get hit with a setback.
BOUNCE stands for brief pause,observe, uncover, navigate.
Choose and enlist.
These steps have been gamechanging for me.
Whenever I hear a no orexperience a flop and I wanna
walk through each one of themwith you, by the end of this,
you'll have a little toolbox forresilience that you can pull out
(08:10):
the next time you face arejection.
Sound good?
Okay, let's jump in.
B brief pause.
Okay.
The first step when youencounter a rejection or a
failure is to take a briefpause.
Basically stop, breathe, andgive yourself a moment.
This sounds almost too simple,but it's incredibly important.
When you get bad news or a no,your emotions can go haywire,
(08:32):
panic, disappointment, anger,you name it.
In that state, it's really easyto react impulsively or
negatively.
I don't wanna admit how manytimes I've drafted a snarky
reply email in the heat of themoment.
Thankfully, I never hit send,but those emails happen by
pausing even for a few minutesor a day.
You allow those intense emotionsto settle before you do anything
(08:54):
else, maybe you step outside andtake a short walk.
Maybe you close your eyes andtake five deep breaths.
Maybe you sleep on it overnight.
This brief pause creates alittle space between the event,
the rejection, and your responseto it.
In my case, with that firstclient, I definitely did pause,
though it looked like curling upin a ball and crying a little
bit.
(09:15):
Honestly, that was my version ofa pause and release.
I needed to let those feelingsout.
Only after that could I startthinking rationally again.
So whatever a pause looks likefor you, do it.
Don't fire an O off an email ormake a big decision.
In the heat of the moment.
Give yourself permission to stepaway and regroup, even if it's
just for an hour.
(09:35):
It's like hitting the resetbutton on your emotional state.
Next is observe.
Once you've taken that littlepause and your head is a bit
cooler, the next step is toobserve.
It means calmly observe whathappened and what you're
feeling, almost like you're anoutsider looking in on the
situation.
Think of it as being a detectiveabout your own experience.
You're collecting facts andnoticing feelings.
(09:58):
Start with the facts.
So what exactly was therejection?
What reasons were given, if any?
Who said what?
Stick to the objective detailsin my story.
The facts were a potentialclient said no, mainly because I
had no prior client references.
Those are facts.
Next, observe your internalreactions.
What emotions are you feelingand name them.
(10:18):
I feel hurt.
I feel embarrassed.
I feel discouraged and a littleangry.
By observing, you're doing twoimportant things.
You're separating facts from thestory.
Your inner critic might bespinning, and two, you're
acknowledging your feelingswithout judgment.
When I did this, in hindsight,for that first rejection, I
could see, okay, objectively oneperson didn't hire me because
(10:40):
I'm new.
That's one data point, andsubjectively, I'm feeling like
this is the end of the world,which is my fear, talking not
the reality.
Observing keeps you in reality.
One, no from one client versusI'll never succeed, which was
the dramatic conclusion myemotions wanted to jump to.
So take a moment to observe.
(11:00):
What is this rejection reallyabout and how are you reacting
to it?
It's almost like you're creatinga little mental report.
This helps you gain clarityinstead of a vague cloud of, I'm
a failure and everything'sawful.
You pinpoint, I'm upset becausethis client had concerns about
my experience level.
That's a lot more specific andmanageable.
Next is uncover.
(11:22):
Now that you've got the factsand feelings laid out, it's time
to uncover the lessons andinsights hidden in the
experience.
I genuinely believe that everyrejection carries a gift, but
sometimes you have to do alittle digging to find it.
In this step, ask yourself, whatcan I learn from this?
What is this no showing me thatI might not have seen otherwise?
There are usually two places tolook.
(11:44):
External, practical lessons fromyour business strategy and
internal, your own mindset andbeliefs.
In my example, externally, Iuncovered a very practical
lesson, potential clients value,referrals and testimonials.
That was a gap for me.
So a lesson was that I mightneed to find another way to
build trust maybe by doing asmall trial project or
(12:05):
collecting reviews as soon as Igot even a tiny client or
showcasing other credibilitymarkers that was useful.
Now internally, I also uncoveredsomething crucial, that
rejection triggered a limitingbelief in me.
The belief that I'm not goodenough, or I'll never get a
client because I'm new.
It's important to uncover thatkind of self-talk because it
(12:26):
lurks in the shadows and does anumber on your confidence.
Once I realized I was tellingmyself that story, I could
challenge it.
For you, uncovering mightreveal, say that a failed sales
pitch taught you a new insightabout what your customers
actually want.
Or maybe it revealed a weaknessin your approach that you can
fix.
On the internal side, maybe arejection uncovers a fear of
(12:48):
visibility or a fear of askingfor help that you didn't know
was holding you Take a moment todig deep.
Write it down even.
What is this situation teachingme?
It could be something like, Ineed to prepare better next
time, or I realized I wastargeting the wrong audience, or
even I learned that I value mywork enough to not lower my
prices just to avoid a no.
(13:08):
There's always something touncover.
It doesn't mean that therejection was fun, but it can be
purposeful if you uncover theinsight it offers.
Next is navigate.
As in navigate your next steps,rejection can feel like a
roadblock.
So this step is about finding away around the roadblock and
continuing forward.
In other words, what will you donext?
(13:29):
You've paused, you've observed,you've uncovered some lessons.
Now it's time to put a plan oraction into place based on what
you've learned.
Think of it like you wereheading down a path and it was
closed.
You need to find a detour routeon that map.
This could mean pivotingslightly or trying a different
strategy, but it definitelymeans keep moving.
Let's say you uncover that lackof trust or credibility is what
(13:52):
led to the rejection.
Navigating from that might looklike finding ways to build
social proof, maybe by offeringa discounted trial, collecting
testimonials from smallerprojects, or highlighting past
experiences in a new way.
It could mean strengthening yourwebsite, updating your
portfolio, or getting clearer onhow you communicate your value.
Whatever it looks like, the keyis to adjust and move forward
(14:14):
with intention.
This is the step where you say,that didn't land.
So how can we try again in aslightly smarter way?
Navigation might also meansimply trying again, contacting
the next potential client onyour list, applying for another
loan with a different bank,tweaking your sales pitch and
going back at it.
The key is you're not stayingstuck at the point of rejection.
(14:35):
You're using what you uncoveredto inform your next move.
Maybe you adjust your approachor target a different customer
or improve your skills in anarea that was lacking big or
small, decide on at least onenext step forward.
By doing that, you take back thesense of control and momentum
that rejection often steals fromus.
You say, okay, that door closed.
(14:57):
I'm gonna knock on the next one,but maybe with a better knock
this time.
It turns a dead end into just adetour.
Next is choose.
This step is all about thechoices you make in your
mindset.
After a setback, you need tochoose how you define the
experience and how you moveforward mentally.
We might not get to choose thatwe got rejected, but we do get
(15:18):
to choose what meaning we giveto it and what attitude we
adopt.
So ask yourself, what am Ichoosing here?
For example, you can choose tosee a rejection as proof that
you're awful.
Which we're not going to do, oryou can choose to see it as a
temporary result or even achallenge to overcome.
You can choose to dwell innegativity, or you can choose
(15:39):
growth and optimism.
This is where you reclaim yourpower.
In my story, after I licked mywounds for a little while, I
made a conscious choice.
I decided that one no is notgoing to define my entire
journey.
I literally remember tellingmyself, alright, I can either
let this make me quit, or I canlet this be the reason that I
work harder and smarter.
(15:59):
I chose the ladder.
I chose not to give up.
I chose to believe that I wouldget a client eventually, and
that this was just a learningexperience, even if it still
hurt at the time.
It is not an easy choice, trustme.
I know, and this is just onestory of many that I'm giving an
example of, but I know howenticing it can be to choose the
pity party.
(16:20):
I've RSVP'd yes to a few ofthose myself, but staying in
that defeated head space doesn'tget you to where you wanna go.
So choose resilience.
Choose to separate your identityfrom the outcome.
Just like we talked about.
You might even choose to begrateful for the learning
opportunity.
That's advanced level reframing,but it truly helps or simply
(16:40):
choose to be determined.
Like, okay, world, you gave me ano.
Watch me somehow turn this intoa yes.
This step is about the decisionto keep going and keep believing
in yourself.
That mindset choice will carryyou through the ups and the
downs.
It's empowering to say, I decidewhat this means, not them.
Rejection can't break you unlessyou let it.
(17:01):
And here you are choosing not tolet it.
The final step in the bouncemethod is enlist, as in enlist
support and help from others.
Just because you're asolopreneur or running a small
business doesn't mean you haveto face all the challenges
alone.
In fact, when you hit a lowpoint, that is the best time to
reach out and enlist someoneelse's perspective, support, or
expertise.
(17:23):
This could mean calling up amentor or a coach and saying,
Hey, I just went through thissetback.
Can I get your advice?
It could mean texting a fellowentrepreneur and sharing what
happened and how you feel.
Chances are they've been throughsomething similar and they can
help reassure you.
It might even mean enlistingprofessional help, like talking
to a business advisor or joininga mastermind group or even
(17:43):
delegating some tasks.
So that you can focus onbouncing back.
I wanna be honest here.
Reaching out for support afterrejection can feel vulnerable,
but it's also incrediblypowerful after one particularly
discouraging experience that Ihad early on.
I opened up to a few people inmy circle, and I didn't go into
every detail, but just sayingout loud that I was struggling,
(18:03):
helped more than I evenexpected.
I didn't feel so alone in itanymore.
And while I didn't get asolution handed to me, what I
did get was moral support, andthat alone made it easier to
stand back up and try again.
Okay.
Maybe you enlist your partner tohandle dinner that night because
you're emotionally drained, oryou enlist a team member to take
on a task that's been stressingyou out.
(18:23):
The point is, don't isolate whenyou're feeling defeated.
There are people out there whowant to help you succeed.
Let them.
Sometimes just hearing anoutside perspective, like one
client's decision, doesn'tdefine you from someone you can
trust, can help snap you backinto a positive mindset, or they
might remind you of how faryou've come or help you
brainstorm new ideas.
(18:44):
Rejection can make us feellonely, like we're the only ones
struggling.
So enlisting others createsconnection and reminds you that
you have support systems and weall need that no matter how
independent or strong we thinkwe are.
So that's bounce.
Brief pause, observe, uncover,navigate, choose, and enlist.
(19:07):
It's a handy little roadmap formoving through rejection or
failure without losing yourmomentum.
Now I wanna bring this back tothose early days when I faced
that first real rejection.
I chose to keep going.
I didn't have a fancy plan orframework at the time, just a
gut feeling that I wasn't readyto give up yet.
I leaned into what would laterbecome the bounce method without
(19:27):
even realizing it.
I gave myself a moment to feeldiscouraged.
I reflected and I chose to keepmoving, and I'm so glad that I
did.
That moment, which felt huge atthe time, is honestly such a
small blip.
Now, I've had bigger flops andharder nos since then, moments
that really tested me.
But I've also built a businessthat I love and I wouldn't have
(19:47):
gotten here if I let that first.
No, stop me.
I wouldn't be here.
Getting to encourage you to keepgoing.
I want you to walk away fromthis episode remembering one
crucial thing.
Rejection is not a dead end.
It's just a detour.
Every single no you hear isactually building your
resilience muscle and steeringyou closer to the right path or
(20:07):
the right client.
It's not the end of your story.
Far from it, you're still worthyof your dreams, of successes, of
the vision that you have foryour life, regardless of how
many nos you've encountered.
one person's opinion or ahundred people's opinion, do not
determine your value or yourdestiny.
Sometimes the nos are justlife's way of saying.
(20:27):
Not this way.
Try another route.
Sometimes they're preparing you,shaping you, sharpening your
ideas so that when you finallyget the yes, you're truly ready
for it.
So if you're in that tough spotright now, maybe you've lost a
big sale or your launch didn'tgo as planned, or you got passed
over for an opportunity, I'mtalking directly to you now.
Do not give up.
(20:48):
Feel the feelings.
Yes, it's okay to bedisappointed, but don't believe
that this rejection means youare not good enough or that you
are not cut out for this.
You are good enough and you arecut out for it.
How do I know?
Because you're here investing inyourself ready to grow and learn
and bounce back.
That tells me that you have theheart of an entrepreneur, one
(21:09):
who might get knocked down seventimes, but then stands right
back up.
So as we wrap up, let's do aquick recap of that bounce
method so that it really stickswith you.
Brief pause when something goeswrong.
Take a breath.
Observe the facts and yourfeelings.
Separate the two.
Then uncover the lessons and anyhidden insights.
(21:29):
Find the gold in the dirt.
Next, navigate your next steps.
Adjust and keep moving.
Choose your mindset.
Decide that this will make youbetter, not bitter and enlist
support.
You're not alone.
So ask for help orencouragement.
Keep this framework in your backpocket and the next time a
rejection comes your way, you'llknow exactly what to do.
(21:50):
You might still feel the sting.
We're all human, but you won'tbe paralyzed by it.
You'll know how to keep going.
I believe in you and I know thatthe dreams that you're chasing
are so worth the occasional doorbeing slammed in your face.
In fact, those closed doorsmight just be redirecting you to
an even better opportunity.
Every no is one step closer tothe yes that matters, and every
(22:12):
time you bounce back, you proveto yourself and maybe even to
the universe that you areunstoppable.
Remember, the most successfulentrepreneurs aren't the ones
who never failed.
They're the ones who refuse toquit when they failed.
You're writing your own successstory and plot twist like
rejection, make the ending thatmuch more triumphant.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today and listening
(22:35):
to my heart on this topic.
I hope you're walking awayfeeling a little lighter and a
lot more empowered to face thenext know that comes your way.
If you enjoyed this episode orif it spoke to you, I'd love to
connect with you over Instagram.
Come find me over there and sayhi.
I share more behind the scenesof my own business journey,
little pep talks and tips onresilience and finances.
(22:55):
I'd be thrilled to hear yourstories of rejection and how you
bounce back, or even if you justneed someone to remind you how
awesome you are on a tough day.
My dms are always open, andspeaking of not doing it alone,
if you need help with thefinancial side of your business,
that is exactly what my companyStarlight Bookkeeping loves to
do.
We take the bookkeeping andnumber crunching off your plate
(23:16):
so that you can focus on growingyour dream with less stress.
So if managing the books is oneof those things that's been
making you feel overwhelmed ormaybe you've just been avoiding
it, no shame.
We all have our zone of genius.
Mine just happens to bespreadsheets.
So consider this your gentleinvitation to let us help.
Starlight Bookkeeping is here tosupport you at cheery on and
handle the financial details sothat you can shine in the work
(23:39):
you're truly passionate about.
Okay.
All right, friend.
That's a wrap for today'sepisode.
Remember, rejection andresilience go hand in hand.
Every no can be a stepping stoneif you choose to make it.
So keep that beautiful chin upand keep going.
Rejection is not the end of yourstory.
It might just be the beginningof a new chapter.
You are worthy, capable, andstronger than any no, that comes
(24:00):
your way.
I'm so proud of you for pursuingyour dreams, and I can't wait to
see you conquer whatever comesnext.
Until next time.
Stay inspired, keep hustling,and never forget you've got
this.
See you in the next episode.
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