Welcome back, BFFs🎙️ In this episode, we're diving deeper into , There's a Hole in My Love Cup by Sven Erlandson, helping you unpack the inner turmoil from your upbringing and guiding you toward healing. Plus, don't miss your chance to win a signed autographed copy of the book!
Journaling Recommendation
1. So, let's tinker around a bit here. This is generally something I have to do in person, because I have to be able to sniff out with my own curiosity where to go with the questioning. But let me ask you, if we were to set your future aside and only look at your present and past, what are the three biggest "I don't knows" in your life? That is, what are the three biggest things from your past and/or things you still think or do in your present that you have no explanation for, or that you have always answered "I don't know" when queried about why you do that? What are the great unanswered questions of your life?
2. Now, if you were to speculate what the answer to one of those questions is, what would you say it is? Just if you were to take a wild guess, knowing you could change your mind tomorrow or next week, what would you speculate is the real reason?
I often have people say to me, "Well, Sven, I don't know. I've never thought about this, before." I know you haven't. I'm asking you to not only think about it now, but to stay focused on it and just throw the answer out there that it might be, just off the top of your head.
3. Now do that same thing for the other two things from your past and/or present that were your other "I don't knows." Speculate. What might the reasons be? Now, if I were with you, I'd be able to sense whether it's deep enough or not, whether it's the 'bingo' answer or not. But you're gonna have to do this part on your own. And it requires a certain measure of intuition and sensing and feeeeeling the answer for what sorta feeeels right.
One way to test it for veracity is to simply sit on it for a day or week. Offer up that answer and hold it. Dwell on it for a week. Let it sit back there in your head, off the front burner. Come back to it in a week and just feeeeeel again. Does it feel like that really is the answer? If you have to keep thinking about it and vacillate, back and forth, let it go. When something is right, it just feels right; there's a certain sense of knowing it's right.
One more way to test the rightness of an "I don't know" answer is with this simple question, "Did your answer bring an epiphany? Does it feel like an epiphany? Does it feel like a 'Holy Crap!'moment? Does it give you a sense of 'Wow. Wow. Wow,' like you just stumbled upon something very real, very significant, very powerful? If not, it's not the right answer. When you hit the answer to a long-held "I don't know," you know it. You feel it. There's a serious sense of awe that you just stumbled upon something seriously ill, seriously monster.
What's the effect of realizing these new answers to your big 'I don't knows'? What is the vibe? Does it feel like you've just found a new door, like you've just looked inside one of the hidden secrets of life, like hardcore 'Holy Crap!"?
See, now's the really trippy part. Now, you gotta start spinning out the ramifications and multiple sub-epiphanies. What other revelations do your three epiphanies give birth to? What is it you realize you need to do/be/say/become/etc? What really, really, really are the course corrections that spin out of all of this? How does this re-write the story of your life, past and present? See, this is where life starts to get hea
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