September 26, 2024 • 29 mins
Welcome to Season 2 of Balancing Life's Issues!
In this heartwarming episode Wendy Wollner sits down with Alex and his mother, Val, whose famous letter to President Obama touched millions of hearts. Wendy, Alex, and Val dive into the power of empathy, raising children who believe in the magic of life, and how to maintain hope and inspiration amidst cynicism. Together, they explore how we can uncover life's miracles, even in the smallest gestures.
Key Takeaways:- Empathy Starts Early: Alex's story reminds us how important it is to raise empathetic children who believe in making the world a better place.
- The Magic of Family: Val shares her experience navigating cynicism while keeping hope alive through the incredible journey their family has taken.
- Believing in Miracles: Wendy encourages listeners to push past cynicism and embrace the idea that everyday magic exists, if we're willing to look for it.
- Inspiration Through Action: Learn how small actions can have a big impact, as seen through Alex's letter and the worldwide response it sparked.
- Watch Alex's letter to President Obama here: Alex's Letter to Obama
- Another reference to Alex's story: Video of Alex's Inspiring Journey
Got an idea for the show? Email kai@balancinglifesissues.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
Hi. It's Wendy Wallner here with one of
the most exciting podcasts that I think I've
ever done.
For those of you who have, followed me
or know anything about, you know, what I,
in my core, believe, it's about stories and
how stories inspire,
action and behavior changes. And
and sometimes I find a story that just
(00:26):
to the core touches me. I mean, maybe
you remember when Susan Boyle came on the
interview. It it came on the show America's
Got Talent,
and she just blew everybody away. And I
watched that video again and again and again
because it just does it for me. It
just does it. It just plugs me back
in. I even shave some time off my
mile. But this video is unlike anything else.
(00:47):
And, I'm so excited to introduce these people
to you. So first, let me just set
some context.
Through LinkedIn, shout out to LinkedIn. I met
this amazing man who's this is his new
book, Stay It Well, Terry Spot. I hope
I'm pronouncing it correctly. I practiced it. He
was, president Obama's speech writer.
And he started his,
(01:09):
training session with a video that I have
watched,
I don't wanna say maybe more than a
1000 times about a young young kid
who writes this beautiful impassioned letter. And lo
lo and behold, they were on this training,
and I got to meet Alex, and I
got to meet Val, his mom.
And, it just blew me away on every
(01:29):
level. Right? As a parent, inspiring our children
to believe the world can be better,
as a child growing up knowing that you
are part of the solution to make the
world better.
So how incredibly cool is it that I
got to meet an interview and chitchat
with 2 people that have just been my
go to,
(01:50):
my listen to.
So shout out to everybody,
and thank you for turning on and listening
to a story
that does inspire us to believe in
so many different things.
And,
it's everything that I am so passionate about.
Right?
Never becoming cynical,
(02:10):
never becoming jaded, and never stop believing. And
this video,
this interview,
man, it's all that and more.
So,
here's a segue to what started it.
It's on my playlist,
and it's a dream come true that I
got to chitchat with them so many years
later. So not just enjoy the video, stay
(02:32):
in the video. Use it when you need
to.
And here's a chance for you to revisit
the video. Maybe you've seen it before. Or
for those who've never have,
here it is.
Dear president Obama,
remember the boy who was picked up by
the ambulance in Syria?
Can you please go get him and bring
him to our home?
(02:54):
Park in the driveway
or on the street, and we'll be waiting
for you guys with flax, flowers, and balloons.
We will give him a family,
and he will be our brother. Kevin, my
little sister, will be collecting
butterflies
and butterflies for him. In my school, I
have a friend
from Syria,
Omar,
(03:14):
and
I will introduce him to Omar, and
we can all play together.
We can invite him to birthday parties, and
he will teach us another language.
Since he won't bring toys and doesn't have
toys,
Katherine will
share her big, blue, strawberry, white bunny,
(03:36):
and I will share my bike, and I
will teach him how to ride it.
I will teach I will teach him condition
and subtraction.
Those are the words of a 6 year
old boy.
He teaches us a lot.
(03:58):
The the humanity that a young child can
display
who hasn't learned to be cynical or suspicious
or fearful of other people
because of where they're from or how they
look or how they pray.
We can all learn from Alex.
Alex,
6 years old.
I'm not sure if you remember me.
(04:18):
We we remember you, Wendy. It's so nice
to see you again. 1st, just let me
tell you, incredibly grateful,
really, really, really grateful to both of you
for taking time and and talking to us,
and and I can't thank you enough.
Likewise. It's a it's a pleasure because all
these
moments help us reflect on, the lessons we
(04:39):
continue to learn. So, you know, I'm sort
of known, Val, and Alex. Like, I'd wake
up in the morning and I plug in,
and I'll I'll watch a a a video
of something that really just speaks to me.
But I'm not a crier.
There's often a running joke about I'm not
a I'm not a crier. If you see
Wendy crying, you should come running.
And I I'd like to just share with
(04:59):
you, I can't even talk about your video
without getting, like, very emotional.
So why does it is? Why do you
think that that letter and the entire experience
just is so emotional?
Not just for me, but for the millions
of people that watched it.
Alex, why don't you take a stab at
that? Why why is it so emotional to
to see to hear you reading that letter
(05:22):
as I cry?
I believe that it's because I was younger,
I didn't understand as much of how the
world worked, especially because I was only 6
or 7.
And, yeah, I had
kind of the sympathy and, like, compassion
to go on and write that with no
better understanding or no kind of conception of
(05:42):
what the result would be or perhaps any
controversy, but
just purely just out of this kindness of
my heart. And I think
that just that hope or kind of belief
that we can
inspire this
and put this into other kids to kind
of or other aspiring people who want their
voice to be heard but don't know how
(06:04):
and just kind of enable them to give
them a voice. And I believe that's what
made my video so, kind of, heartfelt and
touching.
Yeah. Did you ever, ever, ever
think what next?
It was one step at a time for
me. I mean, just
I didn't I didn't actually understand what would
even be the result of that. I thought
I'd write the letter. You know?
(06:26):
He would come. Things would be perfect, but,
obviously, different things panned out. But everything happened
for the best, but I never had an
I never was thinking, what's next? What's next?
I just kind of always kept my mind
of the what was happening in the current
moment.
So you went to mom and said, mom,
I'm gonna write a letter to president Obama.
Is that what happened?
(06:47):
I mean, to be honest, she might give
you a better take of those earlier steps.
So Okay. Well, you wanted to write to
Omar.
He was
so he saw the video,
was touched. We don't have t we didn't
have TV at at the moment. We still
don't, but, basically, never cable news. We really
tried to teach the kids through books and
other,
(07:07):
school programs. But,
in that week, we were changing au pairs
from one to another, and my mother-in-law was
watching the kids. And my mother-in-law has CNN
on all the time.
So,
I had the night before,
Alex came to my bed and he saw
that I was reading something emotional,
So he jumped in to ask, what is
(07:27):
it? Who is that? But I skipped the
the image of Omera because I didn't want
him to be hurt. And I explained to
him, you know, how mama talks about boys
and girls who are in the war, and
sometimes children, you know, are hurt. And you
are very lucky. We have to be grateful.
I always try to have teachable moments with
my kids.
And he remembered that, but the next morning
(07:49):
being in front of CNN with my mother-in-law
cooking, that's when he started to shake. And
his chin was shaking, she said, and crying.
Like, how is it possible that this child
in the ambulance can be bloody and dusty
and alone? And where is everybody?
So from that day till the day he
wrote the letter, which was two and a
half days later,
(08:09):
that's all he wanted to talk about. Umran
and where he is, show me Syria, show
me the you know, where is in Syria
he is. And Alex has been always very
curious
from the moment he was born.
So,
it was impossible to contain his
like, to satisfy him with an answer because,
of course, I don't know where he is,
(08:31):
and, of course, I didn't know,
you know, how long the war was gonna
be or how can we send some toys.
He had the genuine interest and questions that
any child would have.
Like, can we do something? And can I
know what, though? I I would disagree. Not
every child is as special as Alex, and
not every parent is as a special you.
And I just wanna stop for a minute
(08:52):
and highlight something you said that I'm so
passionate about. We have these teachable moments,
and they come.
And a lot of people fast forward to
them. Parents fast forward.
It's a great point, Wendy, because we miss
those opportunities sometimes, you know, with 2, 12
children and a working mom. I could have
(09:13):
just said go to bed. Oh, yeah. We
got a lot of excuses for letting them
go, Val. I get it. Exactly. But I
took my time to explain, and then my
mother-in-law
explained
what happens, and we just kept answering him.
Let's get a globe or let's get the
Earth. We we I remember going to,
satellite, the Earth, and zoom into,
(09:34):
Syria and looking at the forested parts of
Syria, the green parts, and hoping that he
would understand,
Umran is in that part, like, he's safe.
Yeah. I had a map of, at the
time, Europe and, like, the Middle East in
my room. So I just I'll I'll never
forget coming back to the house and just
constantly because it's right next to my bed.
Just sometimes I just lay there and stare
(09:55):
at Syria or stare around the map, and
it's just just something that kinda stays there
because I don't know why. So now I
do detect that your mom has an accent.
Yes. Yes. And I'm an immigrant myself. I
escaped,
troubles in Albania in 1997.
I saw war myself.
I was lucky to escape, and I was,
(10:15):
with a green card. I had won the
green card lottery as a law student.
So very lucky to have come to the
United States with papers and to start my
education and grow,
but not many people are as lucky. So
I've always
taught my kids to understand the moments where
we have to be grateful.
It could be news that you watch or
(10:37):
it could be a homeless that you pass
by in the street.
It could be somebody that needs help, in
class. Maybe a kid is being bullied.
If you don't reflect on your gratitude, you
cannot help others, and that has to be
part of everyday life.
And and, you know, Alex, you and I
have something in common because you were born
here. You were born in America. Is that
(10:59):
correct?
Yeah. So I'm 1st generation American, and you're
1st generation American.
And I think it's interesting when you do
have parents that maybe have an accent or
speak different languages. Right?
That plays into where why is the world
so small and so so important, and maybe
that motivated also to write the letter.
(11:19):
I mean, growing up hearing
these stories about my mom and my dad
immigrating to US, my dad is a foreign
exchange student, my mom winning the green card
lottery.
I almost kind of not related because, obviously,
some stories
are all stories are different than others, but
I'm more since I've got an understanding of
what what war can actually be like and
how it can affect the people around it.
(11:41):
I mean,
innocent civilians who have done nothing wrong just
get
heard in the crossfire of political parties or,
you know, different parts of a country or
different political beliefs, and it's just So And
that I'm gonna ask you an unscripted question
that's gonna be pretty hard. Are you good
with that? Yeah. Sure. I like the challenge.
(12:01):
So a lot of times at at at
Bountiful Life's Issues, we hear
that we should shield our children.
Don't tell them terrible things. It's too much
for them. They can't handle it.
And yet at 6 years old,
you knew that something terrible had happened.
How were you ready to hear that message
(12:23):
at 6 years old?
I think all of that
bounding anticipation and kind of building up, I
just
no matter what the consequences would be on
what I already knew and what I was
yet to know, I was just ready to
hear it. I think I was just I
just really wanted to know what was up
because
I'd seen it first from my grandma and
then my mom. So I was like, obviously,
(12:45):
this has to be a big thing, you
know, being 6 years old, not knowing all
that much about war, and just kind of
putting 2 and 2 together. And I was
just like, I wanna know. I wanna know.
I wanna know. And that's Ever get angry
at mom for not telling you that everything
was perfect in the world?
No. I believe that that was kinda, like,
the changing point where I understood that not
(13:05):
everything was, like,
rainbows and flowers and everything. So
I believe I was never upset at her.
I was just happy how she raised me,
and I always will be. So Yeah. It's
amazing. God. Wait a minute. Let me stop
there, Herminet. Can we cut that out and
send that to my 3 children? Because that's
what I wanna hear. I was happy with
(13:25):
the way she raised me. I mean, Val,
does it get better than that?
No. And
Yeah. Gonna cry again. He's always been very,
very special, and
we learn from his empathy
because it's truly genuine. Like, kids
that are encouraged to know the truth about
(13:46):
the world
with,
of course, with with some shielding. You cannot
just expect them to Right. To have everything,
and you shouldn't expose to everything. But at
the same time,
to understand
gratitude, it starts in an early age. You
cannot appreciate
those early years just for learning math or
(14:07):
languages or art. It also
has to expose them to the bag of
world in a way or another. Mhmm. Right?
So because what do you do in New
York City when he was 5 the year
before? He passed by a homeless man, and
he was marched, and he was cold. He
had a box of chocolates, and he wouldn't
leave until he convinced the man to get
the chocolates. He's like, I don't want the
(14:28):
chocolates, mom. I wanna give them to these
gentlemen. But I said, you have to ask
him. Maybe you know?
So treat people with respect while being grateful
and recognizing what's around you
is something that starts early.
And,
yeah, and even though, for example, at first,
he wanted to talk directly to Omar, and
I said, well, Omar, we cannot reach.
(14:51):
What else do you do to channel that
energy? I love it.
And when he said, I'd love I bet
you president Obama can go get him. Because
previously, we had talked about the power of
a president
and how a president has an airplane and
a helicopter and, you know, they're powerful people
that can change the world. And, of course,
president Obama being someone we we admired in
(15:14):
the family, even though we don't talk about
politics,
I mean, at the time, especially as children,
he was like, I bet you president Obama
can go get him. That conviction
of him finding that solution I love it.
Is really what it it's about. And then
what do what did I do? I used
the moment to to really
channel the writing skills because it was August,
(15:34):
and they didn't have kindergarten.
They didn't have camp. It was August is
the hardest months month for any mother. For
sure.
Why don't you I bet you, if if
you write to him, he will he will
listen. He
will take note of it, of your passion.
I love that. I think we gotta stop
right there because one of the things we
talk a lot about is this learned optimism,
(15:55):
and we're fighting the cynical world. Right? Nothing
I do matters.
It doesn't matter. I can't do anything. And
what you told him was, I bet he'll
listen to you.
Yeah. And, of course, to me, it was
like, here goes letter to Santa.
No one is going to open it. You
know how many thousands of people So now
we ought to know. You mail the letter,
and what
(16:17):
happens? She she's the one that comes Wait
a minute. Did you wanna go to Maine?
We were supposed to go on vacation 2
days later. So we had this around that
time in the family. We'd go to Maine
Was it every summer, I believe? Every August.
Yeah. Every August, we'd go to Maine for,
like, a couple weeks, and it had been,
like, something we've been doing for, like, 2
years at the at the time.
(16:38):
And this was just after I'd written the
letter, and I just didn't wanna go. I
was so convinced that he would I can't
go. Run, like, genuinely just in my mind.
I just picture it, and I just I
can't go.
President Obama is coming. Who's gonna wait for
Omran? That was I mean Oh my goodness.
Have you convinced me first? She said the
neighbors will So I said I spoke to
(16:58):
the neighbors, and they will make sure they'll
call us and we'll be right away. We'll
drive very fast, and they will wait for
us. I mean, it's kinda cruel how
he was so vested in this story and
the fact that he's coming.
And then a week passes by into any
news, any news,
and I would just literally look for,
(17:18):
any delays, any justifications
because now I'm thinking, oh my god. I'm
I'm lying to my son. This is never
gonna happen.
How can I take his attention away? And
I would search for president Obama's,
whereabouts,
and I would say, oh, look. He's in
Laos or he's in Cambodia or whatever.
That's why he's a little bit delayed, but
I'm sure something you know?
(17:40):
And,
of course,
it was 20 days later or 26 days
later. Except early. Yeah. My at that time,
I had, like, no concept of fun. Yeah.
Why was that? But not a year late
not a year later.
No. No. No. It was days later later.
The school had begun. I remember being at
Columbia University for a conference,
and I get a message from my boss,
(18:01):
my dean at the law school where I
work, and she said, the White House is
looking for you.
Because I am in the international program, sometimes
I bring delegations to Washington DC.
Okay.
Did we plan something with the White House?
I don't think so. And I I told
her, no. I don't I don't have anything
with the White House this month. We had
a supreme court visit in July, but that's
(18:22):
it. And she goes, no. No. They're looking
for personally for you. They they're asking for
your,
cell phone number.
And I was thinking,
maybe it's a cousin
that started an internship at the White House.
I had no idea. Like, I would never
put the letter together with the White House
calling us.
(18:42):
And so when I gave the message I
mean, the the number, they called me. I
remember he was a member of the speechwriting
team,
Susanna.
Right? Mhmm. And she goes, are you Alex's
mom?
Yeah.
And to this day, I can't even talk
about that moment because it's so emotional.
(19:03):
And I said,
yes. I am. And the letter, oh my
god, the letter, please tell me it didn't
reach the president because it's crazy.
And she said, yes. And you got all
of us in tears.
So,
the rest is history.
So wait. Wait. No. No. So you go
to Alex. I wanna know what that moment
(19:24):
was like. Oh. You go to Alex and
you're because, of course, Alex believes this is
gonna happen all along. Of course, president's gonna
read his letter. Buh, mom.
But what was that moment like when when
you actually say the White House Alex, the
White House called?
The that's a great question because, I remember
being picked up at the
(19:45):
train station in Scarsdale with my mother-in-law and
my kids in the car.
The au pair was still learning to get,
the routines that my mother-in-law was helping,
and I was so excited. I believe it
was a Friday.
I believe it's it was a Friday because
it was a shorter day for us because
we are Shabbat observers in our university.
(20:07):
And he's in the back, and I say,
Alex, the president read your letter. And my
mother-in-law turns around and she goes, what? And
Alex from the back says, Oman is coming.
That was
so Oh my god. Like, Oman is coming,
mom.
And I said, well,
no. Oman is safe. And then I explained
(20:27):
to him that the president wishes to read
your letter to the United Nations, and would
you like to give permission?
And also
I had no clue what that was. I
was like, yeah. Sure.
And also that,
you know, they were sending a team to
video
him reading the letter. At the time, I'm
thinking they need to vet the story. I
(20:48):
mean, they need to make sure this is
a 6 year old,
writing to the president because it's it's the
president. You don't wanna say something false.
And, yes,
so 2 days later, we had the team
coming,
wonderful
digital
communication
team from the White House. They did the
video with Alex reading the letter.
(21:08):
And,
again, they don't tell you anything if it's
gonna be,
read by the president or when. They did
to the speech at the United Nations, but
they don't know for sure because speeches change
all the the way to last minute. So
I didn't Sure. I I was extremely grateful.
I said, listen. I I cleaned homes
and and washed dishes in restaurants to learn
English, to put myself through school, so this
(21:30):
should not happen to us.
She did warn us that we're gonna get
a lot of media attention.
I said, well, we pay our taxes. We're
good citizens. There is nothing to hide. But
we as long as we don't have to
talk to the media
if we don't want to. And she said
it's fully up to you because at this
time, I'm thinking I have to protect the
6 year old. How was your meeting with
(21:50):
the president?
Oh my god. I mean That's how we
met Terry, actually.
Oh, yes. That's right. That's right. Terry did
tell me that. The kids the kids' forms
don't work in the White House. Right? They
they're blocked.
So I couldn't give him a video to
watch or something.
Trump had just entered
before we entered, and,
(22:11):
he was visiting the White House for the
first time as the president-elect.
And we were next in the appointment. So
the president was delayed with the president-elect,
and we had to wait for 90 minutes
with the 2 kids that are 46.
So Terry and his team were amazing to
giving them pen and paper and trying to
keep them engaged. And But, of course, the
(22:31):
only thing my sister and I wanted was
this fountain soda. They wanted orange soda.
Wearing white with orange soda, I was terrified.
But, yeah, how was it meeting the president
in the Oval Office?
Like, as a kid, you don't really get
stressed or nervous in front of adults.
I have never and even to this day,
(22:51):
I have never been more nervous in my
life.
Never. I
so what happens? You walk in?
I walk in kind of, like, head half
down, head half up, and I'm just kind
of staring there and I see he's like,
hello. It's so nice to meet you. How've
you been? And I'm just like, I'm good.
And I'm just shaking his hand repeatedly. I
have no clue what to do.
And I'll and at the end of he
(23:13):
was talking to us, he was sitting on
the desk of the Oval Office, and I
was looking up at him and he was
telling me how proud he was of me.
And that was really a moment, and that's
where it kind of set in. It's like,
you really did something good.
And,
he asked me if I had any questions
after. And to this day, I'll regret that
question so much. Why do you regret it?
(23:33):
Because I was sick then. Obsessed with vehicles.
I asked because I knew you had a
helicopter. How much people does your helicopter fit?
Out of all the things I could've asked,
I asked that.
How big are
you? That's curiosity.
So, listen, we're gonna be sending president Obama
this podcast, so we're hoping you're listening
to know what impact that he had on
everyone on many other things as well. So
(23:54):
how long would you say you you met
with him?
I mean I mean, it felt like it
felt like minutes. Minutes, but, you know, I
might have wished it lasted hours. I mean,
he was gonna be around. He really was.
He he may after, like, the first couple
seconds, I just lost all my nervousness, and
I was just
really happy to be there. And he was
just such an easy guy to be around.
I mean, he never he was just such
(24:16):
a, like Powerful and
and yet kind. Like, his eyes were smiling.
Everything was smiling. And remember, that was a
hard day for him because
he had to hand over the presidency
to someone who questioned even his birth.
Right? It's it's been crazy. So It has.
(24:36):
And and, you know, with the like well,
I mean, yeah, you you are that part,
is well earned. I'm happy that you got
something that you so deserved.
So definitely shout out to president Obama. He
didn't need to do that.
Right. And, you know, I don't know because
we're in this this place now where, Val,
we watch Gus Wall stand up, you know,
(24:56):
and cheer for his father.
And there was this moment of what a
great mom she was because she just allowed
Gus to be Gus. How'd you feel about
that moment?
I don't think Alex watched it, but for
me, it is
so much freedom for those kids who are
in this situation. Right? Who might feel emotional,
who might feel proud, who might feel,
(25:19):
they don't need to fit a certain box.
And our job as parents is to allow
them. And whether the world accepts it or
not you you mentioned cynicism.
I don't care if people are a cynist
or
haters or
you just have to let love and kindness
win.
And if you don't stand for it in
moments like that that are completely natural as
(25:42):
a kid getting up and being proud,
when will we?
Right? So
Yeah. Can't judge. You cannot judge. This is
not your child. This is not your family.
Just embrace the moment and
find a way to spread love your way.
But but now, come. What is the hardest?
I mean, you got this brilliant, compassionate, kind
(26:03):
kid. But what's the hardest thing about being
his mom?
Love for sports?
Well, no. No. Love for sports is really
good that you have it. When I'm older,
I really wanna be a professional footballer. That's,
like, my number one dream. Okay. Yeah. That's
fine. That's why I'm paying so much to
send him to England.
Okay? So I Yeah. Okay.
I do support his dream.
(26:25):
The challenge is
being so smart
sometimes can set you in very limited ways,
so I want him to open his mind
a bit more. And it's interesting because,
I didn't listen to my parents sometimes. Right?
And it worked out fine. So there will
be this
path where he will challenge me and not
(26:46):
listen. But my only hope is that because
he's so brilliant to not be focused only
on the things he's interested in, but to
open,
right, to open his mind, do something that
he might not like at first, like run
for president. No. I'm joking.
It's it's really
I'm blessed. He's really amazing. I just hope
(27:08):
he keeps an open mind and explore things
beyond his passion. Well, I know where I
got it from. So
Thank you. Do we know what happened to
Omar?
Do we know the end of that story?
I believe he lives in So
It was,
interesting.
Yeah. His
mother left, we heard. His because I met
(27:30):
with people at the United Nations to try
to find out more.
His mother left the family.
One of his brothers
died.
He was older in that in that bombing.
His father and the 4 kids
left for Damascus,
and there was some political point with the
government to try to de
(27:52):
how do you call that word when you
are discredit discredit the story that the white
helmets,
staged this event, that it wasn't real.
There was so much of it later,
and they were showing Omar. But and then
Alex was like, no. But that's his scar.
I see his scar. I still see his
scar even though he's better, and he lives
in a family with, you know, his siblings
(28:14):
and a nice apartment, but I see his
scar. So we did try to find information,
and,
of course,
adapting was much harder than because we die
we tried to explore adapting,
from that war zone with the United Nations,
but we all had to convert to Islam
in order to be approved,
which was something we're not willing I mean
(28:36):
Of course not. Right. Change our religion.
Well, Alex, thank you. Thank you for writing
the letter,
and thank you to your mom for allowing
you to dream to write the letter. And
we're we're waiting to hear the next great
things from you. So you call me up
when you want that first donation or be
your campaign manager. I'm right here for you.
Thank you very much. Thank you so much.
(28:56):
Thank you, guys.
The humanity that a young child can display
who hasn't learned to be cynical or suspicious
or fearful of other people
because of where they're from or how they
look or how they pray,
we can all learn from Alex.
Alex,
6 years old.
(29:18):
This has been a production of Balancing Life's
Issues with your hosts, Kai Sorenson and Wendy
Welner. Produced by me, Kai.
Rate, leave a review, and subscribe to the
podcast wherever you listen so you can get
brand new episodes as they drop. Got an
idea for the show? Email me, kai@balancinglife'sissues.com.
Anything to add, Miles?
Hi. It's Wendy Wallner here with one of
the most exciting podcasts that I think I've
ever done.
For those of you who have, followed me
or know anything about, you know, what I,
in my core, believe, it's about stories and
how stories inspire,
action and behavior changes. And
and sometimes I find a story that just
(00:26):
to the core touches me. I mean, maybe
you remember when Susan Boyle came on the
interview. It it came on the show America's
Got Talent,
and she just blew everybody away. And I
watched that video again and again and again
because it just does it for me. It
just does it. It just plugs me back
in. I even shave some time off my
mile. But this video is unlike anything else.
(00:47):
And, I'm so excited to introduce these people
to you. So first, let me just set
some context.
Through LinkedIn, shout out to LinkedIn. I met
this amazing man who's this is his new
book, Stay It Well, Terry Spot. I hope
I'm pronouncing it correctly. I practiced it. He
was, president Obama's speech writer.
And he started his,
(01:09):
training session with a video that I have
watched,
I don't wanna say maybe more than a
1000 times about a young young kid
who writes this beautiful impassioned letter. And lo
lo and behold, they were on this training,
and I got to meet Alex, and I
got to meet Val, his mom.
And, it just blew me away on every
(01:29):
level. Right? As a parent, inspiring our children
to believe the world can be better,
as a child growing up knowing that you
are part of the solution to make the
world better.
So how incredibly cool is it that I
got to meet an interview and chitchat
with 2 people that have just been my
go to,
(01:50):
my listen to.
So shout out to everybody,
and thank you for turning on and listening
to a story
that does inspire us to believe in
so many different things.
And,
it's everything that I am so passionate about.
Right?
Never becoming cynical,
(02:10):
never becoming jaded, and never stop believing. And
this video,
this interview,
man, it's all that and more.
So,
here's a segue to what started it.
It's on my playlist,
and it's a dream come true that I
got to chitchat with them so many years
later. So not just enjoy the video, stay
(02:32):
in the video. Use it when you need
to.
And here's a chance for you to revisit
the video. Maybe you've seen it before. Or
for those who've never have,
here it is.
Dear president Obama,
remember the boy who was picked up by
the ambulance in Syria?
Can you please go get him and bring
him to our home?
(02:54):
Park in the driveway
or on the street, and we'll be waiting
for you guys with flax, flowers, and balloons.
We will give him a family,
and he will be our brother. Kevin, my
little sister, will be collecting
butterflies
and butterflies for him. In my school, I
have a friend
from Syria,
Omar,
(03:14):
and
I will introduce him to Omar, and
we can all play together.
We can invite him to birthday parties, and
he will teach us another language.
Since he won't bring toys and doesn't have
toys,
Katherine will
share her big, blue, strawberry, white bunny,
(03:36):
and I will share my bike, and I
will teach him how to ride it.
I will teach I will teach him condition
and subtraction.
Those are the words of a 6 year
old boy.
He teaches us a lot.
(03:58):
The the humanity that a young child can
display
who hasn't learned to be cynical or suspicious
or fearful of other people
because of where they're from or how they
look or how they pray.
We can all learn from Alex.
Alex,
6 years old.
I'm not sure if you remember me.
(04:18):
We we remember you, Wendy. It's so nice
to see you again. 1st, just let me
tell you, incredibly grateful,
really, really, really grateful to both of you
for taking time and and talking to us,
and and I can't thank you enough.
Likewise. It's a it's a pleasure because all
these
moments help us reflect on, the lessons we
(04:39):
continue to learn. So, you know, I'm sort
of known, Val, and Alex. Like, I'd wake
up in the morning and I plug in,
and I'll I'll watch a a a video
of something that really just speaks to me.
But I'm not a crier.
There's often a running joke about I'm not
a I'm not a crier. If you see
Wendy crying, you should come running.
And I I'd like to just share with
(04:59):
you, I can't even talk about your video
without getting, like, very emotional.
So why does it is? Why do you
think that that letter and the entire experience
just is so emotional?
Not just for me, but for the millions
of people that watched it.
Alex, why don't you take a stab at
that? Why why is it so emotional to
to see to hear you reading that letter
(05:22):
as I cry?
I believe that it's because I was younger,
I didn't understand as much of how the
world worked, especially because I was only 6
or 7.
And, yeah, I had
kind of the sympathy and, like, compassion
to go on and write that with no
better understanding or no kind of conception of
(05:42):
what the result would be or perhaps any
controversy, but
just purely just out of this kindness of
my heart. And I think
that just that hope or kind of belief
that we can
inspire this
and put this into other kids to kind
of or other aspiring people who want their
voice to be heard but don't know how
(06:04):
and just kind of enable them to give
them a voice. And I believe that's what
made my video so, kind of, heartfelt and
touching.
Yeah. Did you ever, ever, ever
think what next?
It was one step at a time for
me. I mean, just
I didn't I didn't actually understand what would
even be the result of that. I thought
I'd write the letter. You know?
(06:26):
He would come. Things would be perfect, but,
obviously, different things panned out. But everything happened
for the best, but I never had an
I never was thinking, what's next? What's next?
I just kind of always kept my mind
of the what was happening in the current
moment.
So you went to mom and said, mom,
I'm gonna write a letter to president Obama.
Is that what happened?
(06:47):
I mean, to be honest, she might give
you a better take of those earlier steps.
So Okay. Well, you wanted to write to
Omar.
He was
so he saw the video,
was touched. We don't have t we didn't
have TV at at the moment. We still
don't, but, basically, never cable news. We really
tried to teach the kids through books and
other,
(07:07):
school programs. But,
in that week, we were changing au pairs
from one to another, and my mother-in-law was
watching the kids. And my mother-in-law has CNN
on all the time.
So,
I had the night before,
Alex came to my bed and he saw
that I was reading something emotional,
So he jumped in to ask, what is
(07:27):
it? Who is that? But I skipped the
the image of Omera because I didn't want
him to be hurt. And I explained to
him, you know, how mama talks about boys
and girls who are in the war, and
sometimes children, you know, are hurt. And you
are very lucky. We have to be grateful.
I always try to have teachable moments with
my kids.
And he remembered that, but the next morning
(07:49):
being in front of CNN with my mother-in-law
cooking, that's when he started to shake. And
his chin was shaking, she said, and crying.
Like, how is it possible that this child
in the ambulance can be bloody and dusty
and alone? And where is everybody?
So from that day till the day he
wrote the letter, which was two and a
half days later,
(08:09):
that's all he wanted to talk about. Umran
and where he is, show me Syria, show
me the you know, where is in Syria
he is. And Alex has been always very
curious
from the moment he was born.
So,
it was impossible to contain his
like, to satisfy him with an answer because,
of course, I don't know where he is,
(08:31):
and, of course, I didn't know,
you know, how long the war was gonna
be or how can we send some toys.
He had the genuine interest and questions that
any child would have.
Like, can we do something? And can I
know what, though? I I would disagree. Not
every child is as special as Alex, and
not every parent is as a special you.
And I just wanna stop for a minute
(08:52):
and highlight something you said that I'm so
passionate about. We have these teachable moments,
and they come.
And a lot of people fast forward to
them. Parents fast forward.
It's a great point, Wendy, because we miss
those opportunities sometimes, you know, with 2, 12
children and a working mom. I could have
(09:13):
just said go to bed. Oh, yeah. We
got a lot of excuses for letting them
go, Val. I get it. Exactly. But I
took my time to explain, and then my
mother-in-law
explained
what happens, and we just kept answering him.
Let's get a globe or let's get the
Earth. We we I remember going to,
satellite, the Earth, and zoom into,
(09:34):
Syria and looking at the forested parts of
Syria, the green parts, and hoping that he
would understand,
Umran is in that part, like, he's safe.
Yeah. I had a map of, at the
time, Europe and, like, the Middle East in
my room. So I just I'll I'll never
forget coming back to the house and just
constantly because it's right next to my bed.
Just sometimes I just lay there and stare
(09:55):
at Syria or stare around the map, and
it's just just something that kinda stays there
because I don't know why. So now I
do detect that your mom has an accent.
Yes. Yes. And I'm an immigrant myself. I
escaped,
troubles in Albania in 1997.
I saw war myself.
I was lucky to escape, and I was,
(10:15):
with a green card. I had won the
green card lottery as a law student.
So very lucky to have come to the
United States with papers and to start my
education and grow,
but not many people are as lucky. So
I've always
taught my kids to understand the moments where
we have to be grateful.
It could be news that you watch or
(10:37):
it could be a homeless that you pass
by in the street.
It could be somebody that needs help, in
class. Maybe a kid is being bullied.
If you don't reflect on your gratitude, you
cannot help others, and that has to be
part of everyday life.
And and, you know, Alex, you and I
have something in common because you were born
here. You were born in America. Is that
(10:59):
correct?
Yeah. So I'm 1st generation American, and you're
1st generation American.
And I think it's interesting when you do
have parents that maybe have an accent or
speak different languages. Right?
That plays into where why is the world
so small and so so important, and maybe
that motivated also to write the letter.
(11:19):
I mean, growing up hearing
these stories about my mom and my dad
immigrating to US, my dad is a foreign
exchange student, my mom winning the green card
lottery.
I almost kind of not related because, obviously,
some stories
are all stories are different than others, but
I'm more since I've got an understanding of
what what war can actually be like and
how it can affect the people around it.
(11:41):
I mean,
innocent civilians who have done nothing wrong just
get
heard in the crossfire of political parties or,
you know, different parts of a country or
different political beliefs, and it's just So And
that I'm gonna ask you an unscripted question
that's gonna be pretty hard. Are you good
with that? Yeah. Sure. I like the challenge.
(12:01):
So a lot of times at at at
Bountiful Life's Issues, we hear
that we should shield our children.
Don't tell them terrible things. It's too much
for them. They can't handle it.
And yet at 6 years old,
you knew that something terrible had happened.
How were you ready to hear that message
(12:23):
at 6 years old?
I think all of that
bounding anticipation and kind of building up, I
just
no matter what the consequences would be on
what I already knew and what I was
yet to know, I was just ready to
hear it. I think I was just I
just really wanted to know what was up
because
I'd seen it first from my grandma and
then my mom. So I was like, obviously,
(12:45):
this has to be a big thing, you
know, being 6 years old, not knowing all
that much about war, and just kind of
putting 2 and 2 together. And I was
just like, I wanna know. I wanna know.
I wanna know. And that's Ever get angry
at mom for not telling you that everything
was perfect in the world?
No. I believe that that was kinda, like,
the changing point where I understood that not
(13:05):
everything was, like,
rainbows and flowers and everything. So
I believe I was never upset at her.
I was just happy how she raised me,
and I always will be. So Yeah. It's
amazing. God. Wait a minute. Let me stop
there, Herminet. Can we cut that out and
send that to my 3 children? Because that's
what I wanna hear. I was happy with
(13:25):
the way she raised me. I mean, Val,
does it get better than that?
No. And
Yeah. Gonna cry again. He's always been very,
very special, and
we learn from his empathy
because it's truly genuine. Like, kids
that are encouraged to know the truth about
(13:46):
the world
with,
of course, with with some shielding. You cannot
just expect them to Right. To have everything,
and you shouldn't expose to everything. But at
the same time,
to understand
gratitude, it starts in an early age. You
cannot appreciate
those early years just for learning math or
(14:07):
languages or art. It also
has to expose them to the bag of
world in a way or another. Mhmm. Right?
So because what do you do in New
York City when he was 5 the year
before? He passed by a homeless man, and
he was marched, and he was cold. He
had a box of chocolates, and he wouldn't
leave until he convinced the man to get
the chocolates. He's like, I don't want the
(14:28):
chocolates, mom. I wanna give them to these
gentlemen. But I said, you have to ask
him. Maybe you know?
So treat people with respect while being grateful
and recognizing what's around you
is something that starts early.
And,
yeah, and even though, for example, at first,
he wanted to talk directly to Omar, and
I said, well, Omar, we cannot reach.
(14:51):
What else do you do to channel that
energy? I love it.
And when he said, I'd love I bet
you president Obama can go get him. Because
previously, we had talked about the power of
a president
and how a president has an airplane and
a helicopter and, you know, they're powerful people
that can change the world. And, of course,
president Obama being someone we we admired in
(15:14):
the family, even though we don't talk about
politics,
I mean, at the time, especially as children,
he was like, I bet you president Obama
can go get him. That conviction
of him finding that solution I love it.
Is really what it it's about. And then
what do what did I do? I used
the moment to to really
channel the writing skills because it was August,
(15:34):
and they didn't have kindergarten.
They didn't have camp. It was August is
the hardest months month for any mother. For
sure.
Why don't you I bet you, if if
you write to him, he will he will
listen. He
will take note of it, of your passion.
I love that. I think we gotta stop
right there because one of the things we
talk a lot about is this learned optimism,
(15:55):
and we're fighting the cynical world. Right? Nothing
I do matters.
It doesn't matter. I can't do anything. And
what you told him was, I bet he'll
listen to you.
Yeah. And, of course, to me, it was
like, here goes letter to Santa.
No one is going to open it. You
know how many thousands of people So now
we ought to know. You mail the letter,
and what
(16:17):
happens? She she's the one that comes Wait
a minute. Did you wanna go to Maine?
We were supposed to go on vacation 2
days later. So we had this around that
time in the family. We'd go to Maine
Was it every summer, I believe? Every August.
Yeah. Every August, we'd go to Maine for,
like, a couple weeks, and it had been,
like, something we've been doing for, like, 2
years at the at the time.
(16:38):
And this was just after I'd written the
letter, and I just didn't wanna go. I
was so convinced that he would I can't
go. Run, like, genuinely just in my mind.
I just picture it, and I just I
can't go.
President Obama is coming. Who's gonna wait for
Omran? That was I mean Oh my goodness.
Have you convinced me first? She said the
neighbors will So I said I spoke to
(16:58):
the neighbors, and they will make sure they'll
call us and we'll be right away. We'll
drive very fast, and they will wait for
us. I mean, it's kinda cruel how
he was so vested in this story and
the fact that he's coming.
And then a week passes by into any
news, any news,
and I would just literally look for,
(17:18):
any delays, any justifications
because now I'm thinking, oh my god. I'm
I'm lying to my son. This is never
gonna happen.
How can I take his attention away? And
I would search for president Obama's,
whereabouts,
and I would say, oh, look. He's in
Laos or he's in Cambodia or whatever.
That's why he's a little bit delayed, but
I'm sure something you know?
(17:40):
And,
of course,
it was 20 days later or 26 days
later. Except early. Yeah. My at that time,
I had, like, no concept of fun. Yeah.
Why was that? But not a year late
not a year later.
No. No. No. It was days later later.
The school had begun. I remember being at
Columbia University for a conference,
and I get a message from my boss,
(18:01):
my dean at the law school where I
work, and she said, the White House is
looking for you.
Because I am in the international program, sometimes
I bring delegations to Washington DC.
Okay.
Did we plan something with the White House?
I don't think so. And I I told
her, no. I don't I don't have anything
with the White House this month. We had
a supreme court visit in July, but that's
(18:22):
it. And she goes, no. No. They're looking
for personally for you. They they're asking for
your,
cell phone number.
And I was thinking,
maybe it's a cousin
that started an internship at the White House.
I had no idea. Like, I would never
put the letter together with the White House
calling us.
(18:42):
And so when I gave the message I
mean, the the number, they called me. I
remember he was a member of the speechwriting
team,
Susanna.
Right? Mhmm. And she goes, are you Alex's
mom?
Yeah.
And to this day, I can't even talk
about that moment because it's so emotional.
(19:03):
And I said,
yes. I am. And the letter, oh my
god, the letter, please tell me it didn't
reach the president because it's crazy.
And she said, yes. And you got all
of us in tears.
So,
the rest is history.
So wait. Wait. No. No. So you go
to Alex. I wanna know what that moment
(19:24):
was like. Oh. You go to Alex and
you're because, of course, Alex believes this is
gonna happen all along. Of course, president's gonna
read his letter. Buh, mom.
But what was that moment like when when
you actually say the White House Alex, the
White House called?
The that's a great question because, I remember
being picked up at the
(19:45):
train station in Scarsdale with my mother-in-law and
my kids in the car.
The au pair was still learning to get,
the routines that my mother-in-law was helping,
and I was so excited. I believe it
was a Friday.
I believe it's it was a Friday because
it was a shorter day for us because
we are Shabbat observers in our university.
(20:07):
And he's in the back, and I say,
Alex, the president read your letter. And my
mother-in-law turns around and she goes, what? And
Alex from the back says, Oman is coming.
That was
so Oh my god. Like, Oman is coming,
mom.
And I said, well,
no. Oman is safe. And then I explained
(20:27):
to him that the president wishes to read
your letter to the United Nations, and would
you like to give permission?
And also
I had no clue what that was. I
was like, yeah. Sure.
And also that,
you know, they were sending a team to
video
him reading the letter. At the time, I'm
thinking they need to vet the story. I
(20:48):
mean, they need to make sure this is
a 6 year old,
writing to the president because it's it's the
president. You don't wanna say something false.
And, yes,
so 2 days later, we had the team
coming,
wonderful
digital
communication
team from the White House. They did the
video with Alex reading the letter.
(21:08):
And,
again, they don't tell you anything if it's
gonna be,
read by the president or when. They did
to the speech at the United Nations, but
they don't know for sure because speeches change
all the the way to last minute. So
I didn't Sure. I I was extremely grateful.
I said, listen. I I cleaned homes
and and washed dishes in restaurants to learn
English, to put myself through school, so this
(21:30):
should not happen to us.
She did warn us that we're gonna get
a lot of media attention.
I said, well, we pay our taxes. We're
good citizens. There is nothing to hide. But
we as long as we don't have to
talk to the media
if we don't want to. And she said
it's fully up to you because at this
time, I'm thinking I have to protect the
6 year old. How was your meeting with
(21:50):
the president?
Oh my god. I mean That's how we
met Terry, actually.
Oh, yes. That's right. That's right. Terry did
tell me that. The kids the kids' forms
don't work in the White House. Right? They
they're blocked.
So I couldn't give him a video to
watch or something.
Trump had just entered
before we entered, and,
(22:11):
he was visiting the White House for the
first time as the president-elect.
And we were next in the appointment. So
the president was delayed with the president-elect,
and we had to wait for 90 minutes
with the 2 kids that are 46.
So Terry and his team were amazing to
giving them pen and paper and trying to
keep them engaged. And But, of course, the
(22:31):
only thing my sister and I wanted was
this fountain soda. They wanted orange soda.
Wearing white with orange soda, I was terrified.
But, yeah, how was it meeting the president
in the Oval Office?
Like, as a kid, you don't really get
stressed or nervous in front of adults.
I have never and even to this day,
(22:51):
I have never been more nervous in my
life.
Never. I
so what happens? You walk in?
I walk in kind of, like, head half
down, head half up, and I'm just kind
of staring there and I see he's like,
hello. It's so nice to meet you. How've
you been? And I'm just like, I'm good.
And I'm just shaking his hand repeatedly. I
have no clue what to do.
And I'll and at the end of he
(23:13):
was talking to us, he was sitting on
the desk of the Oval Office, and I
was looking up at him and he was
telling me how proud he was of me.
And that was really a moment, and that's
where it kind of set in. It's like,
you really did something good.
And,
he asked me if I had any questions
after. And to this day, I'll regret that
question so much. Why do you regret it?
(23:33):
Because I was sick then. Obsessed with vehicles.
I asked because I knew you had a
helicopter. How much people does your helicopter fit?
Out of all the things I could've asked,
I asked that.
How big are
you? That's curiosity.
So, listen, we're gonna be sending president Obama
this podcast, so we're hoping you're listening
to know what impact that he had on
everyone on many other things as well. So
(23:54):
how long would you say you you met
with him?
I mean I mean, it felt like it
felt like minutes. Minutes, but, you know, I
might have wished it lasted hours. I mean,
he was gonna be around. He really was.
He he may after, like, the first couple
seconds, I just lost all my nervousness, and
I was just
really happy to be there. And he was
just such an easy guy to be around.
I mean, he never he was just such
(24:16):
a, like Powerful and
and yet kind. Like, his eyes were smiling.
Everything was smiling. And remember, that was a
hard day for him because
he had to hand over the presidency
to someone who questioned even his birth.
Right? It's it's been crazy. So It has.
(24:36):
And and, you know, with the like well,
I mean, yeah, you you are that part,
is well earned. I'm happy that you got
something that you so deserved.
So definitely shout out to president Obama. He
didn't need to do that.
Right. And, you know, I don't know because
we're in this this place now where, Val,
we watch Gus Wall stand up, you know,
(24:56):
and cheer for his father.
And there was this moment of what a
great mom she was because she just allowed
Gus to be Gus. How'd you feel about
that moment?
I don't think Alex watched it, but for
me, it is
so much freedom for those kids who are
in this situation. Right? Who might feel emotional,
who might feel proud, who might feel,
(25:19):
they don't need to fit a certain box.
And our job as parents is to allow
them. And whether the world accepts it or
not you you mentioned cynicism.
I don't care if people are a cynist
or
haters or
you just have to let love and kindness
win.
And if you don't stand for it in
moments like that that are completely natural as
(25:42):
a kid getting up and being proud,
when will we?
Right? So
Yeah. Can't judge. You cannot judge. This is
not your child. This is not your family.
Just embrace the moment and
find a way to spread love your way.
But but now, come. What is the hardest?
I mean, you got this brilliant, compassionate, kind
(26:03):
kid. But what's the hardest thing about being
his mom?
Love for sports?
Well, no. No. Love for sports is really
good that you have it. When I'm older,
I really wanna be a professional footballer. That's,
like, my number one dream. Okay. Yeah. That's
fine. That's why I'm paying so much to
send him to England.
Okay? So I Yeah. Okay.
I do support his dream.
(26:25):
The challenge is
being so smart
sometimes can set you in very limited ways,
so I want him to open his mind
a bit more. And it's interesting because,
I didn't listen to my parents sometimes. Right?
And it worked out fine. So there will
be this
path where he will challenge me and not
(26:46):
listen. But my only hope is that because
he's so brilliant to not be focused only
on the things he's interested in, but to
open,
right, to open his mind, do something that
he might not like at first, like run
for president. No. I'm joking.
It's it's really
I'm blessed. He's really amazing. I just hope
(27:08):
he keeps an open mind and explore things
beyond his passion. Well, I know where I
got it from. So
Thank you. Do we know what happened to
Omar?
Do we know the end of that story?
I believe he lives in So
It was,
interesting.
Yeah. His
mother left, we heard. His because I met
(27:30):
with people at the United Nations to try
to find out more.
His mother left the family.
One of his brothers
died.
He was older in that in that bombing.
His father and the 4 kids
left for Damascus,
and there was some political point with the
government to try to de
(27:52):
how do you call that word when you
are discredit discredit the story that the white
helmets,
staged this event, that it wasn't real.
There was so much of it later,
and they were showing Omar. But and then
Alex was like, no. But that's his scar.
I see his scar. I still see his
scar even though he's better, and he lives
in a family with, you know, his siblings
(28:14):
and a nice apartment, but I see his
scar. So we did try to find information,
and,
of course,
adapting was much harder than because we die
we tried to explore adapting,
from that war zone with the United Nations,
but we all had to convert to Islam
in order to be approved,
which was something we're not willing I mean
(28:36):
Of course not. Right. Change our religion.
Well, Alex, thank you. Thank you for writing
the letter,
and thank you to your mom for allowing
you to dream to write the letter. And
we're we're waiting to hear the next great
things from you. So you call me up
when you want that first donation or be
your campaign manager. I'm right here for you.
Thank you very much. Thank you so much.
(28:56):
Thank you, guys.
The humanity that a young child can display
who hasn't learned to be cynical or suspicious
or fearful of other people
because of where they're from or how they
look or how they pray,
we can all learn from Alex.
Alex,
6 years old.
(29:18):
This has been a production of Balancing Life's
Issues with your hosts, Kai Sorenson and Wendy
Welner. Produced by me, Kai.
Rate, leave a review, and subscribe to the
podcast wherever you listen so you can get
brand new episodes as they drop. Got an
idea for the show? Email me, kai@balancinglife'sissues.com.
Anything to add, Miles?
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