Mookie Spitz rants about the messy power dynamics that shape our relationships. Inspired by a fiasco where he got kicked off X for flooding timelines with his novel, Mookie pivots to something way deeper: why so many of us are stuck in lopsided connections where one person gives everything and the other barely gives a damn.
He introduces the 95/5 principle — a stark look at how one partner ends up pouring in 95% of the love, energy, support, money, sex, time, you name it... while the other kicks back, giving just enough (a pathetic 5%) to keep the gravy train rolling. Think it’s rare? Think again. From long-term marriages to casual hookups, from family ties to creative partnerships, this imbalance is everywhere.
Mookie breaks it down:
- How childhood wiring makes some of us relentless givers, always hustling to be loved or even just tolerated.
- Why takers (the “95/5ers”) instinctively sniff out these over-givers, latch on, and keep milking them for all they’re worth.
- How these dynamics don’t just shift — they escalate. That 95/5 easily becomes 98/2 or worse, until you finally snap… only for the taker to toss you breadcrumbs, reel you back, and start draining you all over again.
- The delusion that one day they’ll change and give more — spoiler: they won’t. Their dream scenario is 100/0, where you keep giving and they keep taking, guilt-free.
He also drills into how this dynamic shows up beyond romance: in business deals, friendships, even creative collaborations. And then flips the script, admitting his own pattern of being the chronic giver, questioning why he (and so many like him) keep ending up in these traps.
If you’ve ever busted your ass trying to win someone’s affection, bent over backwards for crumbs of appreciation, or sacrificed your own joy to keep someone else comfortable — this episode is your slap in the face and wake-up call.
Packed with dark humor, self-roasting confessions, and sharp metaphors (including a perfect Yiddish take on waiters and soup disasters), this is relationship psychology without the sugarcoating. Mookie doesn’t just rant — he forces you to stare straight into the mirror and ask: are you the 95 or the 5?
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!