March 24, 2025 • 55 mins
Recorded March 23rd, 2025
When Graham calls Scott with news of a bloody finger injury that requires stitches, it sets the tone for one of the most entertaining and unpredictable episodes of Bald Guys on the Bench yet. Between trips to urgent care and filling out ridiculous workplace accident forms asking "what could have been done differently," Graham's weekend adventure becomes the perfect metaphor for the chaos of March Madness weekend.
The tournament itself provides plenty of fodder as the guys break down the surprising lack of close games and major upsets during the opening rounds. "Most of these games have been blowouts," they lament, before diving into the exceptions like Duke's dominant performance that has them looking like the team to beat. Their 21-person bracket challenge gets competitive as they analyze who's leading and whose Final Four picks are already busted.
Golf takes center stage with a detailed breakdown of Victor Hovland's comeback victory and the dramatic final holes where JT's collapse opened the door. This leads to one of the episode's highlights—a spirited debate about the "worst Masters champion of all time," with Danny Willett taking that dubious crown. The guys dissect his unlikely win, critique his uninspired Champions Dinner menu ("You could get a better meal at Wawa"), and reminisce about Angel Cabrera's miraculous U.S. Open victory at Oakmont with a +5 winning score.
The conversation takes an unexpected statistical turn when they reveal the NFL teams with the most regular season wins over the past decade. The Chiefs' dominance isn't surprising at 123 wins, but eyebrows raise at the Steelers and Bills tied for second with 101 victories each. This prompts a deeper discussion about coaching, talent utilization, and why Tomlin's Steelers haven't translated regular season success into more championships.
Between Graham's confusion about when the tournament's second round starts ("What day next week?") and the introduction of the term "Graham Dick Tight" to describe particularly precise golf shots, this episode delivers the perfect blend of sports analysis, personal stories, and genuine friendship that keeps listeners coming back. Listen for the knowledge, stay for the laughs.
#baldguysonthebench #graboneandcrackone #marchmadness #pgatour #themasters
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Announcer (00:07):
Welcome to another episode of the Bald Guys on the
Bench podcast, with your hostsGraham Cohen and Scott Wasco.
Graham (00:21):
What's up everyone?
Welcome back to another episodeof the Bald Guys on the Bench.
Scott, oh my lord, it is March.
Madness, it's finally here.
How you doing, brother, I'mdoing good.
Scott (00:32):
It's Sunday night.
We got the last game of theweekend going on.
We're going to talk about a lotof stuff.
Tonight we got a prettyoff-the-wall episode where a lot
of topics are going to becovered.
The wall episode where a lot oftopics are going to be covered.
But you know, let's grab it,let's crack it.
It's 1130 East coast time.
Let's go who?
(00:53):
Yeah, I do so, as we're sittinghere getting ready to get going,
uh, we got Arizona up by sevenwith 8.50 left 68-61.
I think the line was Arizonagetting 4.5.
(01:16):
I don't know.
Graham (01:18):
No, they were favored.
Scott (01:19):
They were favored.
Okay, all I know is I had over151.5 and it's close.
But anyhow, graham, we grabbedit, we cracked it.
It's Sunday night.
I know you worked all weekend.
Tell the people what the shithappened to you the other day
when you called me on.
Was it Friday?
(01:39):
Yeah, when they had to putyour dang body back together and
you send me a picture of it,knowing your boy hates blood and
stuff like that, and I'm likeas soon as it comes through I
didn't even look, like straightdelete, like don't ever.
I hate it.
Why do you do that?
Graham (01:59):
I'll be honest.
I forgot you're that way.
Scott (02:02):
I'm gonna be honest if you got blood and all that kind
of stuff, send it to kristen.
She loves it.
I'm good, I'm good, uh, yeahit's the network show that's
still going on.
Uh, the hospital I can't thinkof it up in seattle gray's
anatomy yeah, I can't even watchthat shit without all the blood
(02:23):
and stuff.
Graham (02:26):
The fact you even watch Grey's Anatomy.
Well.
Scott (02:27):
Kristen watches it.
I watched it at the beginningbecause of that hot chick.
It always has to do with that.
Obviously we know Catherinesomething.
What's her name?
Heigl?
Yeah, she was in the othermovie too, with the comedy.
What was the?
Graham (02:44):
name yeah, 40-year 40 year old virgin.
No, not that.
No, not sorry.
No, knocked up, knocked up, yes, knocked up, let's go.
Yeah, I was like what wrong one.
That was a great movie.
Scott (02:54):
But anyhow, off topic much and we're how many minutes
in 244?
Uh, shocker let me show you myshock face gram.
Oh, ooh.
Graham (03:04):
Uh, I'm sorry.
Is this Bald Guys on the Benchor another podcast?
Scott (03:08):
Uh, I mean, it is a sports comedy podcast.
So Facts.
Graham (03:14):
Does it mean it Speaking of comedy?
Ah well, some people laughed.
I mean I didn't think it wasthat funny, but yeah.
But uh, to reference what Scottwas talking about, I was at
work.
It was about 30 minutes beforeI was about to get out.
I'm behind the bar talking tosome of my regulars and the
bartender behind me was justlike, hey, get out the way,
(03:36):
sniper.
And when I went to back up Iforgot, got him.
There was something behind me.
I tripped going backwards alittle bit bit and I flung my
hand up to kind of like balancemyself and, uh, my hand hit
these wine glasses that arehanging from above and within.
Doing that, I shattered a wineglass and cut my pinky finger
(03:59):
and like, oh, that doesn't lookthat bad.
I'm like, all right, let me goto the bathroom and check it out
.
And I was like, yeah, it'sgoing to need some stitches.
I'm like, no, it's not.
And I was like I opened thewound up.
I was like, yeah, this part'smissing skin, this slit and this
wound, yeah, I'm going to needthat.
They're like, oh, oh, my God,what are you going to do?
I was like Urgent care, get acouple stitches.
(04:22):
And folks, I know, you all know, but urgent care, emergency
room.
Yeah, they're nice amenities tohave, but unless you're
(04:42):
literally dying, you're notgoing to get serviced for
minimum an hour, like they eventold me.
Hey, sign up online, it willhelp the process go faster.
Let me ask you a question ifyou fill out all the information
online, why the fuck do youstill have to fill out a paper
form answering the samequestions and, like I, told you
last night make that make senseabout this.
Scott (05:02):
Just the fact that you only had to wait an hour was
amazing.
I I thought, yeah, friday night, I mean fair friday night,
urgency, care, vegas hour, wait.
I mean, when I texted you andyou were like yeah, I'm on the
way home, I'm like I'm sorry,what I mean?
(05:25):
I expected you to be thereuntil way after I went to bed.
Right, and you're bitchingabout an hour, shut up.
Graham (05:33):
But well, I well, no, that's to finally get in.
Then you know they had the techand she's like looking at it.
The doctor finally came in like30 minutes later.
I mean actual, you know,looking at the finger doing
something about it, 20 minutes,me being there two hours and 15
minutes, I mean, look, I'm happyit's fixed Once again.
Scott (05:58):
I know, I know.
Graham (05:58):
Anyhow, I know.
Scott (06:00):
But yeah, the main thing is glad you weren't injured more
you know, oh, no, yeah, yeah,the main thing is glad you
weren't injured more.
Graham (06:06):
Oh no, yeah, yeah.
The worst part is I'm fillingout the paperwork at work the
accident form and dude, theplace I work at is run by real
intelligent people yeah, run byreal intelligent people.
(06:28):
Dude, there's like fourdifferent forms that are more or
less the same thing.
But then there's questions likewell, what could have been done
differently to prevent this andwhat rules were not followed,
that this happened?
And I'm like guys, this is thesituation of complete accident
you ever heard what an accidentis.
Scott (06:48):
Do you know what the definition?
Of that is.
Yeah, I mean if you didn'tallow snipers in the business,
then Graham wouldn't have gottengot Sniper got him, I mean.
Graham (07:03):
So I'm just filling out all this same shit.
I'm just like.
I mean the one thing I'll saythis I was happy that management
was super cool about the wholesituation.
They're very like are you okay,are you okay?
I mean not that I wouldn'tthink that they would not care
about my well-being, but I meanthe one manager kind of saw what
(07:23):
happened and they knew it wasnot.
I mean, they knew I wasn'tdoing anything stupid to cause
this to happen.
It's just it was a flukeaccident.
It just it was what it was.
I mean it's uh, you know it'sbeen a long time since I've been
to any type of emergency place.
I mean it's kind of funny.
This is the second time I'vehad to get stitches on my finger
(07:45):
.
Like the first time was over 20years ago when I was working at
a convenience store and youknow I cut my finger on the meat
slicer.
Ow, oh, whoa.
End game break on this.
Oregon, arizona.
What happened?
That was?
Scott (08:00):
a turnover.
Anyhow, Arizona's up 3-7-0-6left.
Graham (08:08):
Hey, on a side note, I'll say this Out of all the
games that have happened theselast few days, why did it take
until today?
Well, there was one gameyesterday, maybe two games that
were like oh, I don't knowactually compelling, actually
came down to the wire or wereclose.
Most of these games have beenblowouts, yeah, or not, you know
(08:28):
, no upsets, really I mean we'llget it, because the the main
one, colorado state.
They were actually favored,even though there were a 12 seed
.
Scott (08:39):
But I mean two seed, they gone yeah yeah, saint john's
two seed they gone.
Yeah yeah, st John's two seedthey gone.
But it took to the second roundthe weekend to get that happen.
But anyhow, we'll get into thatin a minute, even though.
Announcer (08:56):
Yeah.
Scott (08:57):
So the end of your weekend was you got stitches?
No bueno, yeah, got to watch alittle bit of sports and lost
some bets, like everybody else,sheesh.
Graham (09:12):
Yeah, golf didn't treat us very well this week.
No, march Madness didn't treatus very well this week and the
thing is, a lot of what we tookI'm sure other people took, like
some of these games.
It's just like what happenedDude St John's, their number one
(09:32):
player, got benched.
Scott (09:35):
Well when you're one for 17 for the game.
Graham (09:39):
I mean, you got to do something.
I don't blame Patino.
Scott (09:43):
You got two Hall of Fame coaches.
I mean you know I Fame coaches.
I mean, yeah, you know I get it, I don't know hey at least Duke
looked pretty solid today andget hot.
They've looked like the mostdominating team so far in the
tournament.
I mean, some people were I mean, what was the line today
(10:04):
against Baylor?
Like they gave Baylor way morerespect than they needed.
Nine yeah.
Graham (10:10):
It was nine.
I'm sorry what.
Announcer (10:14):
Yeah.
Scott (10:16):
Thinking about that today , after the fact and you and I
talking last night about what welike, like we always say, if I
could read tomorrow's sportspage today, but that's one that
that's one of the ones that weshould have read tomorrow's
sports page last night.
Graham (10:34):
Yeah.
Scott (10:34):
Like I'm sorry what Baylor nine points.
I mean Duke.
Graham (10:41):
I don't know.
I mean, if you want the flipside of that, how about UConn
and Florida?
How was Florida favored by nine?
Scott (10:52):
Yeah, but that's a little different story.
I can understand why they'refavored by nine, but still kind
of weird when you're talkingabout the defending national
champions, for I mean, didn'tthey win two years in a row?
Amazing coach.
You know that's a lot of pointsfor that situation.
I mean, didn't they win it twoyears in a row?
Amazing coach?
(11:12):
Yeah, they did.
You know that's a lot of pointsfor that situation, even though
they had a shitty season.
That dude knows how to motivatefor the tournament.
Anyhow, facts and what a game.
First round, I mean it was allright.
You know it was what it was Alot of blowouts, um, let's just
(11:33):
jump real quick into golf beforewe get into the tournament and
all that stuff.
And just because golf, let's doit golf.
We got a couple funny topicsthat graham and I were talking
about last night that literallycame out of left field and
that's why we started the show arandom saturday night a couple
beers deep, talk about whateveryou want.
(11:54):
So victor hovland gets hisfirst dub right in a while.
Coming off yeah, coming offthat dominant performance a
couple years ago when he woneverything in the playoffs and
just thanks for coming.
Everybody chain swing coacheswent to shit in the handbasket,
whatever he's been down and outcame back.
I mean, he played good at therider cup, yeah, right after.
(12:18):
That was the same season whenhe dominated the fedex.
Okay, just rolling right intothat right, yeah, but yeah,
graham and I are last night weretalking about it and you know,
I'm saying to Graham man, Ireally wish I could find an
over-under on what VictorHovland's going to shoot
tomorrow, because I'm going over100% and Graham's like why?
(12:45):
I'm like dude, he's beenplaying like shit His press
conference the other day he waswhining and seeing how emotional
he's been and he's been tryingand he's not getting the results
.
I'm like, oh yeah, this dude'sdue for a goddang 80, leading
the golf tournament.
Talking about that three orfour days ago, right, and then
(13:05):
we came out and golfed his ball.
You know I'm gonna eat my crow.
I'll do it right now.
Good for you.
Victor Hovland Always loved thedude's golf swing.
I wasn't hating on him, I wasjust hating on how he's been
playing.
Announcer (13:21):
Facts.
You know what I mean.
Scott (13:22):
I like, I like him Good players can slug, yeah, but I
was all over.
Jt Talked you into it.
You know, last night live betplus 750.
Let's go.
Jt's got a two-shot leadthrough 14.
(13:42):
Today.
They're offering me a cash out.
Let's go, I'm not going to takeit.
Graham (13:49):
They say that.
But why would you take a cashout there If you've got a
two-stroke league on 14, you'reletting it ride yeah.
Scott (13:54):
Every time.
Graham (13:55):
Every time so anyhow.
Scott (13:57):
Jt makes a bogey, then he makes another bogey, then he
hits it dick tight on 17, a220-yard par 3, and misses the
putt.
How tight, dick tight.
It wasn't that dick tight, butit was a laser beam at the time
and the moment right, because atthe time and the moment he had
(14:20):
a one-shot lead after Bogan's 16.
Laser beam misses the putt forBirdie on 17.
Okay, walking to the 18th teebirdie on 17.
Okay, walking to the 18th teeHovland.
Okay, victor hits it.
I just called JT's dick tight.
Okay, I'm going to callHovland's seed on 17.
(14:41):
And this folks will tell youhow close he hit it to the hole.
Announcer (14:50):
We're going to call this Graham Dick Tight.
Wow, so that's how quick shotsfired.
Graham (14:55):
That was not playing, so he hit it to 12 feet.
Scott (14:57):
That is amazing.
Graham (14:58):
I'm going to pat myself on the back for that one.
He hit it to 12 feet.
Scott (15:02):
And makes the putt right.
Makes the putt on 17.
Now JT's on 18.
Hovland's still on 17.
Now JT's on 18.
Hovland's still on 17,.
But I'm sitting here with Ava'sboyfriend, andrew, and it's a
430-yard hole and I'm like whyis he hitting driver here?
Jt, you're tied for the lead.
You have to hit the fairway.
(15:22):
It's 430 yards.
I mean, good God, you hit yourtwo iron 250 and you got a
little.
Hit the seven wood Dude and heyanks it and he's 120 yards out
and he's in such a shit lie hecan't even get to the green Game
(15:44):
over Right in the group behindhim.
I just talked about it.
Hovland hits it, graham dictateMakes the putt.
Now Hovland's got a one-shotlead.
Jt makes bogey.
Hovland hits it a little righton 18.
Leaves it short.
Makes bogey.
Wins by one.
Graham and I lose our bet.
Thanks.
Graham (16:06):
But Well, hey bro, we had the momentum from last week
when we called Rory coming backfrom four shots.
That's why we like dude, jt wasthe play.
Scott (16:17):
That's all I was thinking of 14.
I'm like dude, we just calledit two Saturdays in a row, live
bet Saturday night.
I don't even remember what Rorywas, but he was four.
He was four back at least Hisline was plus four, I think Plus
400.
Something around there.
Graham (16:37):
No, I got him for plus 650.
Scott (16:41):
All right, but JT, yeah, plus 750?
Let's go.
Oh yeah, anyhow.
Uh, I don't know, this is a funevent.
That golf course is so hard.
I mean geez louise, yeah, butuh glad I didn't make that lowry
bet yeah, but you were, youwere scat, you were, were pissed
(17:08):
after two days.
Graham (17:12):
Hey, what do you always tell me First two days don't
matter, bro?
I mean they do, but you knowwhat I'm trying to say.
Scott (17:19):
They do, but they don't.
Graham (17:20):
It's a marathon, not a sprint.
Yeah, because most of our betswhen we do pick on the golf it's
to place top 20 usually.
Because most of our bets whenwe do pick on the golf it's to
place like top 20 usually.
So it's like when they go outin day one, if they're in the
top five, I'm like, yeah, thisis great.
And you're like, bro, it's dayone, you got three more rounds.
Sim it down.
You know what I mean.
So it's just like same thingwith Lowry.
It's just like, oh, there he is.
Scott (17:42):
Dude, because he plays hard golf courses, great, great
why?
Because he's a ball striker,he's an iron player.
Look at the last four eventsdude In Florida.
Bay Hill what was before BayHill?
I forget where they were.
(18:03):
Whatever the last three BayHill or no, they were at.
Pga National.
Graham (18:10):
Yeah, where the Honda?
Scott (18:11):
used to be.
They went from Honda Bay Hillbrutal golf course, tpc brutal
and then to Ennisbrook.
That's a rough stretch and lookwho's been consistent every
week.
Graham (18:25):
Well, I mean, if you want to talk about a perfect
segue, I mean against hardgolfer, I mean hard golf courses
two weeks.
How do you like his chances ataugusta?
Is he?
Is he a top 20 play?
And I'm not asking, in a sense,for a scottie's hot picks, I'm
just asking off yeah, he doesn'tplay there very well does?
Scott (18:46):
I don't think it's.
It doesn't play to his strengthof his game at Augusta.
Augusta is not the kind of golfcourse I think that is his
style.
He's a European from Ireland.
What do you do in Europe?
You got to hit it low.
You got to flight it.
What do you do at Augusta?
(19:07):
You got to hit it high and landit on those greens that are 37
on the stint meter and superfirm.
Graham (19:15):
I don't know, am I saying he can't win?
Scott (19:17):
No, I mean, we did see the worst Masters champion of
all time from Europe win there.
Graham (19:26):
You're welcome.
Who's that?
Scott (19:29):
Do we really need to name him I?
Graham (19:33):
mean.
Scott (19:33):
Well, you know, not everyone that listened to us is
if you're a fan of sports andgolf and you didn't know the
name, that just popped up inyour head when I said the worst
Masters champion of all time I'mpretty bitter.
Graham (19:56):
I mean, there was a couple that who, who is worse
than Danny Willett.
Scott (20:06):
Okay.
Graham (20:07):
Oh, you just gave it away Worst champion at the
masters ever.
Scott (20:14):
The guy played the greatest nine holes of his life
and Jordan Spieth, going forback-to-back green jackets, hit
about 14 balls in the water on12, with the lead to gift the
black pudding eating DannyWillett the green jacket.
And you're going to say there'ssomebody that's worse than him,
(20:44):
the only thing that's worsethan him.
Never mind, I'm not even goingthere.
That was going to be weird.
Graham (20:56):
No, say it no, go ahead.
Scott (20:57):
Go ahead.
Who's worse than Danny?
Graham (21:00):
Willett as a.
Scott (21:00):
Masters champion.
Who's the worst guy that's wonthe green jacket?
That gets an invitation to thechampions dinner every tuesday
night for life, the week of themasters?
Who's worse than that?
Dude, you're welcome?
Graham (21:14):
nobody I mean, I'm just trying to think of some recency
over here, uh, the only personthat I can even.
Okay, how about what happenedto Charles Swartzel?
Scott (21:35):
He played great for 72 holes.
Okay, he fought off a Jason Daythat shot 31 on the back nine.
Graham (21:50):
All right, all right.
The only person okay, I thinkthe Molinari was a good one too.
Right, the only just hold on.
Scott (21:59):
The only person that even is close in my mind to being
that much of a disappointingMasters champion and folks we're
talking like Danny Willett, isnegative 37, okay on the scale
of 1 to 10.
The next person I'm going toput in positive numbers that's
how it's not even close MikeWeir.
Graham (22:23):
I mean, but Mike Weir is , he's had somewhat of a career.
You can't.
I mean Danny Willett has doneclose to nothing.
Well, look, if you play on thePGA Tour, I mean you're not crap
.
I mean obviously you're a greatplayer, I get all that, but I
(22:44):
mean.
Scott (22:50):
Yeah.
Graham (22:52):
Danny Willett.
Yeah, I just tried.
I mean, there's other names.
Scott (23:02):
As I'm looking it up right now, you're not even going
to say a name that evencompares to him.
Graham (23:10):
Oh, hold my beer.
He says Damn.
So that was in 2016,.
Danny Willett Swartzel was 11.
I want to talk shit on this guyjust because I know who you're
going to just because I can tellyou right now who you're gonna
(23:31):
say.
Scott (23:32):
If I guess it right now, will you be honest with me?
Graham (23:36):
100.
Scott (23:37):
Zach Johnson yes, of course I knew you were gonna say
that and you know what I wantedto say to you.
Graham (23:50):
I'm listening check out how many majors zach johnson's
one.
No, I know, I know, I know.
But here's the thing if you'rethat smart and you're that good,
why do you tell your boys tonot practice for six fucking
weeks before the for the ridercup?
Scott (24:03):
that's a I know, I know we're talking worst masters,
champion of all time.
Can we just agree to agree thatI'm right?
Graham (24:13):
um, yeah, so I'm looking at the list here of the past
champions, as you're saying this.
Scott (24:19):
I have to know this right now.
I have to know what who gavehim the jacket.
Graham (24:24):
No, I don't give a shit about that.
Scott (24:25):
Yeah, jordan, did.
I want to know what DannyWillett's, what his champion's
dinner menu was.
Oh, I bet it was the worstdinner of all time, wow.
Graham (24:41):
Guaranteed.
I completely forgot, dude.
You want to hear the worst part.
I know where you're going heretoo.
Bubba Watson, danny, first off,bubba Watson, bro, don't even
disrespect him like that.
All right, go into what youwere going to say.
I was there that year, dude, ifpeople can comprehend the shot
(25:05):
on 10 in the playoff that he hit, I can't comprehend it, because
I've stood in the exact spotseven times.
As have I, and I still can'tcomprehend it.
There is, dude, you like to hita 40-yard hook from 120 yards
out With a gap wedge With a gapwedge, like come on, but while
(25:27):
you're looking that up, this isthe three-year stretch.
This is the worst three-yearstretch in.
Announcer (25:31):
Masters history.
Graham (25:32):
Champions Ready, let's hear it?
2016,.
Danny Willett Now I like thenext guy, but he won in a
playoff.
I don't remember who he played.
Sergio won in a playoff.
Do you remember who he beat?
Damn it.
It doesn't say on here, so I'dhave to look it up.
Was it Justin Rose?
Scott (25:53):
I'm almost positive.
Graham (25:55):
I think that is true, almost positive.
I would say yeah.
And then 2018,.
Mr, I cheat at golf and I don'tlike my parents, ricky finished
second out here.
Yeah, Patrick, fucking Reed.
But dude, I'm going through thelist and honestly, and then 19.
(26:18):
Who won in?
Announcer (26:19):
19?
.
Yeah, you're right.
Graham (26:20):
It's Willett, it's definitely Willett.
Oh yeah, without a doubt,Because, dude, everyone here,
it's like Tiger Vijay, MarcoMira, I mean when Marco Mira won
in 98, he's a solid player.
Scott (26:37):
Yeah, you think.
Graham (26:41):
I mean Ian Woosnam, larry Mize in the playoffs,
sandy Lyle.
I mean they're all.
I mean none of these.
There's no one-hit wonders onhere except Danny Willett.
All right, I can see, dannyWillett is the worst.
I mean, once you start going tothe 40s and 50s, I don't know
the people.
(27:01):
So I mean, like, do you knowwho Art Wall Jr is, dude or?
Scott (27:07):
Doug Ford no, but I just got the menu.
Graham (27:13):
What did he have?
Scott (27:14):
April 4th 2017.
European prime rib.
So that probably had the flavorof a piece of dirt Roasted
potatoes and vegetables.
Yorkshire pudding and gravy.
For dessert, apple crumble.
(27:37):
Oh, shocker.
Coffee and tea served.
You want to have a littleteapot?
Eh, dude, that's the worst ever.
I mean I can get a better mealat Wawa Breakfast Burrito and
drink some cooies.
Get out of here.
Graham (27:54):
Right, black pudding Dude.
We could go to Bucky's and getbetter food, and I've never been
, yeah.
Scott (28:00):
Dude, if you want to get some beef jerky and you go to
Bucky's, yeah.
If you like having 7,000flavors, have fun picking one
out.
Graham (28:09):
Hey, they give out samples Anyhow once again love
golf.
Scott (28:15):
The way that Graham and I got on this topic last night.
We were talking about AngelCabrera actually playing in the
Masters this year because if youdidn't know, now you know he
was in jail for a while.
But we started talking about itand then we brought up danny
willett and I was like graham,doesn't anna cabrera have two
majors?
(28:36):
And we had to.
And yeah, we knew we did.
We didn't know what the secondone was.
We knew he had the green jacket.
And then I'm like grahamremember when I played at
oakmont and I stayed in the poolhouse, I stayed in the angel
cabrera room and graham's likeyeah, you dumb ass.
That means he won the us openat oakmont and I was like wow
(29:02):
dude, that conversation lastnight it was pretty good.
Graham (29:07):
Wait, where was that second major at?
Then you look it up and you'relike oh, it was the US Open, the
one at Oakmont.
Oh, I'm like, oh, the one atthe room that you stayed at at
Oakmont, Whatever Like.
Sometimes things are so obviousthey're not obvious, right, Do
you remember?
Scott (29:24):
what his score was At Oakmont Remember we talked about
it last night.
Graham (29:31):
Oh, yeah, plus five.
Scott (29:33):
Yeah.
Graham (29:36):
Unbelievable Carnage Dude that I remember.
That dude that was.
Yeah, it's not very often thatyou get to see, because I mean,
no regular tournaments are thatdifficult.
It's always the majors, butit's very rare that the winning
score is above or.
Scott (29:58):
Over par, yeah, above par , I think when DJ won it it's
rare.
The next US Open afterCabrera's win.
When DJ won it, I think he wastwo over.
Announcer (30:09):
Yeah.
Scott (30:10):
I believe, and that's with a bullshit penalty called
against him on the back nine.
Remember that.
Graham (30:20):
Was that Bandon?
No, dude, that was at.
Scott (30:22):
Oakmont.
Graham (30:24):
Oh yeah.
Scott (30:25):
DJ got that penalty called on him and nobody knew
what the situation was, if itwas a penalty or not a penalty,
as we're watching the event onthe back, nine, yeah, and DJ, I
think, standing on the 72nd hole.
Nobody knows if it's a penaltyor if it's not.
He's got a one-shot lead and DJjust goes up there and hits it
(30:48):
gram-dick tight and says, heyworld, hold my beer.
I don't care if it's aone-stroke penalty or not.
I just got that dub.
And now I get to go back withPaulina and you motorboats.
And you know I told you tonightwas going to be a good one.
(31:12):
Told you tonight was going to bea good one.
But you know, I had my stupidmoment last night about Angel
Cabrera, when I stayed in hisroom at Oakmont.
Graham (31:23):
But oh you why?
Scott (31:25):
I know what you're going to do at Oakmont.
But I will say, folks, that wasa pretty dumb moment for me,
but nothing takes the cake ofGraham Friday night.
Graham (31:41):
You know what?
Scott (31:41):
And I know he had been a little freaked out.
His hand was bleedingeverywhere, he had to go get a
shot and his fingers sewn backtogether.
But we're talking and I'm likeman, there's some good matchups
next round and March Madness.
And Graham's like okay, whendoes the second round start?
(32:04):
What day next week?
And I'm like Graham, what didyou just say?
Okay, when does the secondround start, what day next week?
And I'm like Graham, what didyou just say?
You're like when does thesecond round start?
I'm like you're a co-host of apodcast and you don't know when
the second round starts.
It's tomorrow, guy.
Graham (32:27):
And I will say I thought there was at least a two-day
break.
Scott (32:30):
And then all I'm going to say about that is we're not
going to talk about it anymore,because you know what happens at
Fight Club, what Stays at FightClub, or sorry, whatever.
I screwed that up.
I'll smack myself.
Whatever you get it Dumbestthing I've ever heard come out
(32:52):
of his mouth, but anyhow.
Graham (32:57):
How about this?
I'll lay it on thicker for you.
When I made that comment, folks, scott was like hold on, wait
what did you just say I'm like,what do you mean wait?
Announcer (33:06):
what did you?
Just say, I'm like what do youmean?
What did I just say?
Graham (33:09):
bro, we have a podcast together.
Don't you fucking know whenthese games are?
I'm like dude, I'm tired.
I've been through a lot of shit.
My brain ain't working rightnow.
Scott (33:21):
I'm just asking a question to ask, and what was my
response to that?
Graham (33:24):
I wish I knew word for word.
I'm just asking a question andwhat was my response to that?
I wish I knew word for wordSomething to the effect of you
should know, You're like Graham,this is by far the dumbest
thing you've ever said.
It was, and I was like I don'tknow, bro, I've said some pretty
(33:47):
dumb shit before Nope, nothingworse than that, nothing, zero,
zilch.
Scott (33:54):
All right, let's go to another topic.
I don't even know what the fuckit's going to be, but it's not
going to be the fact that youdidn't know.
Graham (34:03):
All right, that's fine.
Scott (34:05):
As we're sitting here is there one?
Transitioning, the score is 80to 78,.
25 seconds left Arizona's up tooh shit.
And last time I checked whatdoes 78 plus 80 equal Graham?
Graham (34:17):
158.
Scott (34:22):
Winner over one 51 and a half.
Graham (34:31):
Anyhow, I'm glad someone's winning their bets.
Why am I?
I should be picking over points, not these damn winners.
Scott (34:34):
Oh my god, these games it's been dude everything I've
been reading on social mediaplatforms.
It's been a brutal week forgamblers.
Graham (34:44):
Oh dude, vegas is like show me the money.
Yeah, brutal.
Scott (34:51):
Another fun thing that happened last night was well,
first off, we had my daughter'sbirthday party.
I can't tell her happy birthdayyet because her birthday is in
a couple of days.
We just did it early with thefamily, that was my weekend.
Announcer (35:05):
Thanks for asking me about my weekend, you selfish
son of a.
Scott (35:10):
Anyhow, graham and I literally last night discussed
this for a long time and I sawthis on the Graham and it was
every NFL team's regular seasonwins over the last 10 years
Regular season.
And you know, obviously I'mlooking at the numbers and I'm
(35:38):
asking Graham who it is.
So obviously it's a no brainerin my mind.
If you would have asked me thequestion it would have been the
same Graham.
But I'm looking at it and whatwas the first thing I told you
the craziest thing to me was theteams that are tied for second
Right and the team that's ifthat's first, it's second, it's
(35:59):
third, it's fourth, the teamthat that's sixth.
Those were the things that weremind blowing to me.
So, graham, last 10 yearsregular season wins who's
sitting there at number one inthe NFL regular season chiefs
chiefs at 123 wins.
Graham (36:24):
I mean no surprise.
And the worst part is is lastnight, after you know, having
multiple beverages and you know,maybe a little herbal
medication, my guesses were notvery spot on.
That's why I was like who arethese teams Right?
And the worst part is, everytime, scott, you ask me a
(36:46):
question something like this,and the way you word it, it
sometimes makes me feel like, oh, it's not the obvious teams,
it's someone else, or it's notmy team, it's someone else.
Scott (37:00):
I just have to ask you a question because of what you
just said.
It's how I word it.
Okay, I see you, ingas, overthere looking across the country
to me in virginia.
Okay, as you're looking at me,I just have to say I'm not just
all good, looks, bro, I gotbrains and there's a method to
(37:23):
my madness.
Okay, you gotta, I mean, justaccept that and move on.
Okay, oh, my God, and thatmight be the greatest line ever
in the history of the bald guyson the bench- I don't know.
Graham (37:42):
We've had a few gems.
Ain't nothing better than thatAnyhow?
Oh, because you'recomplimenting yourself, no, just
because of the look on yourface when you about shit
yourself.
Scott (37:52):
When I said that, oh dude , turn the game on who?
Arizona's up one with 10seconds left, inbound 10 seconds
, they just got fouled.
Wow so Oregon scored.
So back to number six.
The crazy one for me theVikings.
The Vikings sitting there at 99wins.
(38:14):
You got the best team in thelast 10 years the Chiefs at 123.
The Vikings at 99.
Think about that Right.
Graham (38:26):
In the last 10 they had a few.
Announcer (38:28):
Really yeah.
Definite good years, last year,because they had yeah.
Graham (38:33):
But I'm like.
Scott (38:35):
Yeah, tied for second.
Graham (38:37):
I mean, who was the Vikings quarterback 10 years ago
?
Scott (38:41):
Favre.
Maybe Was Favre playing 2015?
He might have retired beforethen.
I don't know.
No, I might have retired beforethen?
Graham (38:48):
I don't know.
No, I think he retired beforethen.
Yeah, I'm trying to think.
Is that a ponder?
No, because they wouldn't havewon that many games with him,
bridgewater was probably likefive years ago.
Scott (39:02):
Yeah, you thought the team with the second most wins
and I kind of would have thoughtthat too, not looking at the
numbers would be the Ravens.
Yeah, but you're not far off.
They were only off one win fromtime to second.
But you asked me when I wasasking you this, you were like
(39:25):
where are my Steelers at?
Like in 15th out of the wholeleague?
Yeah, I think it was around 15.
Graham (39:35):
No, no, I said 15 because, like I said, I was a
little buzzed up last night.
Scott (39:39):
I'm just like 15th place and wins out of 32 teams and you
haven't had a losing season inhow long.
Well, since Tomlin's been thereand I surprised Graham with the
Steelers and the Bills tied forsecond with the most wins in
the last 10 years in regularseason, with 101.
Graham (40:00):
Yeah, and after you said that, I'm thinking to myself.
I'm like well, 101.
I was like we had a few seasonswhere we were 8 and 8.
But yeah, most of those wereeither 9 and 7 or 10 plus.
So if you think about it, weaveraged 10 wins a season and
I'm just like wow.
Scott (40:16):
And then, what did I say to you?
Graham (40:23):
Well, you just really took the wind out of my sails.
But you said that to have thatmany wins in 10 seasons, that is
a definite indictment on MikeTomlin as a head coach.
Scott (40:38):
With the talent y'all have had.
Graham (40:42):
Yes, and my response which?
Scott (40:47):
I get it.
Last year was an injury year.
Graham (40:50):
No, and I'm not even saying last year, I'm just
saying and look, and Tomlin saysit all the time I get it Next
man up, it doesn't matter, yougot to play with the guys you
got, and I get that.
It's not the best team, it'sthe healthiest team.
I get that it's not the bestteam, it's the healthiest team.
I get that.
But there's multiple years andI will sound like a homer right
(41:11):
now and I don't give a shit.
Scott (41:13):
Hey, you've earned that right.
Graham (41:15):
When you lose Antonio Brown to CTE from Perfect, when
you don't have your number onewide receiver, when you don't
have your number one runningback and you've had them all
season and then they get hurt inthe playoffs, what do you think
is going to happen?
Scott (41:29):
Or they get hurt right before the playoffs.
I'm going to go simpler thanthat.
If you have, a future Hall ofFame quarterback that played his
entire career with thefranchise he retires.
Then you draft someone thatprobably shouldn't have been
drafted in the first round andthrow the keys to the franchise
(41:53):
on his back.
Good luck.
Graham (41:58):
Look, I totally understand.
But the thing like with KennyPickett, it was a combination of
he was in their facility.
Scott (42:09):
At that he was a lottery ticket.
He's right there, the Steelershad to scratch it.
Graham (42:15):
He look.
He should have gone in thesecond round and people forget.
A lot of people forget KennyPickett was the first
quarterback taken that yearright.
A lot of people forget KennyPickett was the first
quarterback taken that yearRight.
That being said, he reallyshould have gone in the second,
but with Pittsburgh picking atlike 22, they couldn't risk him
not being there.
(42:36):
So unless they took someoneelse and then traded up in the
second round.
It's like you know what I mean.
Like I can't fault them fortaking a shot on Pickett.
You know what I mean.
Announcer (42:48):
Like you got to do it .
You can't.
Scott (42:51):
Yes, you can't.
Graham (42:54):
And plus the last year with Pickett at Pitt, like he
was ACC player of the year.
He was that guy.
And plus you're already in thebuilding you play at Heinz Field
for your home pick games.
It's one of those situationswhere one plus one equals two.
I've said it since day one.
Scott (43:16):
They had to, had to Right .
Didn't Mason Rudolph start offthe year as the quarterback
though the starter week one, andthen they put in Pickett week
five or six or something likethat, and then he came back and
won and then it was everybodyall over the Kenny Pickett show
(43:38):
and then y'all got in theplayoffs.
I mean Y'all got in theplayoffs.
I mean I'll never forget thedime he threw to Najee in
Seattle the last week of theseason.
Y'all had to win.
It wasn't a long pass, but itwas a short and tight spaces
(43:58):
accurate AF pass.
Graham (43:59):
Yeah, and then Dude the game against Baltimore, and then
that was no.
No, towards the end of theseason.
Najee dude the game againstBaltimore, and then that was
Towards the end of the season.
Scott (44:05):
That past Nazi dude in Seattle I mean oh no, in that
situation.
Graham (44:15):
Like the kid has talent.
Scott (44:16):
I mean Now y'all gonna be fired up in the Steel City
waving them towels, rooting onmy boy, aaron Rodgers.
Six-hour meeting.
Graham (44:28):
Are we and left with no contract.
Scott (44:31):
Six hours yesterday in Pittsburgh.
I'd like to welcome toPittsburgh now, starting at
quarterback, the one dude in theNational Football League that
dumped Danica Patrick and hateshis mom.
Everybody welcome Aaron Rodgersto the facility.
Graham (44:54):
Or I save you from having to take a shot and we
trade for Kirk Cousins.
You're not trading for him it'sgoing to be a release and sign
thing You're not trading for him.
I know, I know, I know.
Scott (45:06):
But anyhow, Graham, we got to talk about real quick the
podcast NCAA March Madness Pool, Dude 21 people.
Graham (45:17):
Yes, let's do it.
Scott (45:18):
Let's go Love it.
A lot of our closest friends,some family, as we sit right now
.
Well, the game just ended.
Right now Arizona won.
I'm going to jump on real quickand see what the actual
up-to-date rankings are.
I believe you were in firstSucks to suck because you can't
(45:40):
win.
Well, I mean, I need some othershit to happen.
Yeah, uh, so ineligible peoplein first place, elliot, let's go
.
Elliot row, one of my studentsdown at the club.
Uh, super smart sports guy, buthe's sitting there at first, or
(46:05):
sorry, he's tied with matt, bigmatt, lawless and bucky.
Oh, your boy is leading thepack at fifth place, even though
I'm not eligible.
But you know, graham, you'redone, but you're not gonna win,
even though you're not going towin, even though you're not
eligible, because I think twoteams you had in your final four
lost.
Graham (46:28):
Hey, there's more games to be played.
People can lose and hopefully Imean how many people pick Duke
is the real question A lot Well,as you're asking me, one, two,
3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
Scott (46:49):
8 out of 21 pick Duke yeah, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
7 pick Florida.
We had a couple.
Graham (47:13):
Auburns what Well, I finished top three last year.
Right, I know I placed.
I know for a fact I won money.
Not sure.
Not sure I know I placed.
I know for a fact I won money.
Not sure, but once again, well,I was leading Dude.
I only missed one game out ofthe first, the first round Last
(47:36):
year.
Scott (47:36):
Same with Buckeye this year.
Out of the 64-32 but your maxpoints you can get Is 14-10,
just because of St John's andIowa State.
Elliot, the person in sixth is1790.
So you know we still got it.
Graham (47:55):
So I need Florida to lose and I need miracles to
happen.
Scott (47:57):
Basically, Basically everyone.
Graham (48:04):
Victory is mine.
Scott (48:08):
Anyhow, we're sitting here at 48 minutes and Graham's
going to try to edit thistonight and he's tired Is he.
We might jump on for a fewminutes Wednesday, talk about
the next round matchups.
But the next round matchups aresolid.
Um, I don't know.
You got anything else you wantto chat about?
(48:29):
Oh, we can't.
I would feel bad as a sportsnerd If I didn't mention this.
Oklahoma state wrestler winsthe national championship.
Graham (48:41):
Oh yes.
Scott (48:41):
They're calling it the biggest upset in NCAA wrestling
history.
The dude he beat in the goldmedal winner in the Olympics.
I thought I saw something.
I'm like don't hold me to thisLike he never lost a college
match, Like Bro the guy, yeah,dude is multiple year National
(49:03):
champion, national championship.
Graham (49:07):
The craziest thing is also on top of that, because
that was heavyweight Team title.
Well, no, I wasn't going toteam, I was going to go
individual.
I think it's two weight classesdown individual.
(49:28):
I think it's two weight classesdown.
Um, you know, gotta representfucking pennsylvania my boy from
, and my boy and I can't thinkof what his name is right now
but um, the first ever five-timenational championship, penn
state wrestler never lost incollege.
That's insane.
You're that good.
That's what the dude that lostto a heavyweight was, and you, I
(49:51):
know, all right.
Scott (49:52):
So here's something real quick Show me your hands.
Show me your hands, let's go.
I'm going to ask you a question.
I only see one.
Who won, graham?
You lied to me last night whenyou looked something up.
You knew that, though that wasobvious who won the NCAA
championship and Division Iwrestling this year.
(50:15):
The team the team, why?
Graham (50:28):
Well, I can tell you who it's not.
That shit school from EastCarolina.
Scott (50:38):
That was the question from last night.
You, son of a bitch, come onwho won the wrestling?
Graham (50:45):
championship Penn.
Scott (50:45):
State Great guess?
Yeah, they did.
You had no fucking clue, butanyhow.
Graham (50:50):
Penn State is a national powerhouse.
Of course they won, bro.
Of course they won.
Scott (50:59):
How do you look at me across the country with a
straight face and say, of coursethey won, when you had no clue
and you just threw a piece ofpepperoni on the wall and it
stuck?
Graham (51:08):
I told you they had the national champion five years in
a row.
Scott (51:13):
One weight class.
Graham (51:15):
You did one weight class .
Scott (51:15):
Did.
Announcer (51:15):
I not just say that three minutes ago.
Scott (51:17):
But then you couldn't name who won the goddamn team
championship.
Graham (51:20):
Well, it's Well, he's a black guy Today.
Junior.
Scott (51:28):
As I quote Adam Sandler I hope everybody saw the trailer
for Happy Gilmore 2.
So good, july 25th, yetHopefully it doesn't break
Netflix like the stupid fightwith Mike Tyson and that social
media retard.
But anyhow, right folks, it'slate, it's what's supposed to be
(51:52):
a short episode.
Graham, I love you.
I love you on the podcast withyou, even though you say stupid
shit and don't realize when thesecond round of the NCAA
championship is and oh my Lord,I said the wrong name, all right
, or the wrong date, whoopity.
(52:13):
You said the wrong.
Graham (52:15):
Yeah.
Scott (52:16):
I mean you call the sky green and the grass blue.
Graham (52:21):
Hey, hey, it's for horses that's going to win the
West, or what?
What did you say?
I said are the Knights winningthe West, or what we're going to
win?
Scott (52:32):
the Pacific.
We're probably not going to winthe West, but whatever we got
that dove three in a row at homeNice change of subject.
Announcer (52:44):
Audrey speaking of change of subject.
Scott (52:46):
You're welcome.
We're not even going to mentionwhat you said in a text thread,
but anyhow.
Graham (52:54):
Hey, on a side note, am I going to beat her, at least?
Scott (52:57):
Well, she has.
Her max is 1370, years is 1410,so let's go, audrey, suck it.
Graham (53:10):
Wow, that was aggressive .
I mean that in the most politeways, by the way.
Announcer (53:14):
Anyhow, Just saying that talking shit, get us out of
here.
Scott (53:18):
Another fun episode.
Latest shit on a Sunday night,but thank God I ain't got to
work tomorrow.
Graham (53:27):
A lot of laughs.
What did we even talk about?
We talked a lot about PGA.
Scott (53:33):
Tour players.
Danny Willett Hitting it soclose to the flag.
We call it Graham Dick Tight.
That was pretty good.
Hey, 12 feet is tight.
That was pretty good, and a 12feet is tight.
Anyhow, folks, I love you.
(53:56):
This is one of my favoriteepisodes of all times and don't
care if you like it or you don'tlike it, but I had fun, graham
had fun, and I guarantee you TPwill be texting me when you
release this and he listens toit and be like you guys are
absolute morons.
But you know what?
I embrace it.
(54:16):
My albino friend on the otherside of the country.
Embraces it and let's have agood time outside of the country
.
Embraces it and let's have agood time.
And, by the way, as I sendeverybody out Andy hashtag, w H
O, good night friends, bubbaScott, it's always a pleasure.
Graham (54:36):
I had an absolute blast tonight and, as the best homie
always says, bubba.
Scott (54:42):
And I messed up how we normally do it.
You normally say that and thenI say goodnight friends, but it
is 1230.
I'm a vodka deep Couple beers,graham.
I love you.
Goodnight friends, andy.
Same message.
Announcer (55:01):
Who.
This episode of the Bald Guyson the Bench podcast is brought
to you by our friends atNorthstar Credit Union and
Southern Auto, located inSoutheast Virginia.
Welcome to another episode of the Bald Guys on the
Bench podcast, with your hostsGraham Cohen and Scott Wasco.
Graham (00:21):
What's up everyone?
Welcome back to another episodeof the Bald Guys on the Bench.
Scott, oh my lord, it is March.
Madness, it's finally here.
How you doing, brother, I'mdoing good.
Scott (00:32):
It's Sunday night.
We got the last game of theweekend going on.
We're going to talk about a lotof stuff.
Tonight we got a prettyoff-the-wall episode where a lot
of topics are going to becovered.
The wall episode where a lot oftopics are going to be covered.
But you know, let's grab it,let's crack it.
It's 1130 East coast time.
Let's go who?
(00:53):
Yeah, I do so, as we're sittinghere getting ready to get going,
uh, we got Arizona up by sevenwith 8.50 left 68-61.
I think the line was Arizonagetting 4.5.
(01:16):
I don't know.
Graham (01:18):
No, they were favored.
Scott (01:19):
They were favored.
Okay, all I know is I had over151.5 and it's close.
But anyhow, graham, we grabbedit, we cracked it.
It's Sunday night.
I know you worked all weekend.
Tell the people what the shithappened to you the other day
when you called me on.
Was it Friday?
(01:39):
Yeah, when they had to putyour dang body back together and
you send me a picture of it,knowing your boy hates blood and
stuff like that, and I'm likeas soon as it comes through I
didn't even look, like straightdelete, like don't ever.
I hate it.
Why do you do that?
Graham (01:59):
I'll be honest.
I forgot you're that way.
Scott (02:02):
I'm gonna be honest if you got blood and all that kind
of stuff, send it to kristen.
She loves it.
I'm good, I'm good, uh, yeahit's the network show that's
still going on.
Uh, the hospital I can't thinkof it up in seattle gray's
anatomy yeah, I can't even watchthat shit without all the blood
(02:23):
and stuff.
Graham (02:26):
The fact you even watch Grey's Anatomy.
Well.
Scott (02:27):
Kristen watches it.
I watched it at the beginningbecause of that hot chick.
It always has to do with that.
Obviously we know Catherinesomething.
What's her name?
Heigl?
Yeah, she was in the othermovie too, with the comedy.
What was the?
Graham (02:44):
name yeah, 40-year 40 year old virgin.
No, not that.
No, not sorry.
No, knocked up, knocked up, yes, knocked up, let's go.
Yeah, I was like what wrong one.
That was a great movie.
Scott (02:54):
But anyhow, off topic much and we're how many minutes
in 244?
Uh, shocker let me show you myshock face gram.
Oh, ooh.
Graham (03:04):
Uh, I'm sorry.
Is this Bald Guys on the Benchor another podcast?
Scott (03:08):
Uh, I mean, it is a sports comedy podcast.
So Facts.
Graham (03:14):
Does it mean it Speaking of comedy?
Ah well, some people laughed.
I mean I didn't think it wasthat funny, but yeah.
But uh, to reference what Scottwas talking about, I was at
work.
It was about 30 minutes beforeI was about to get out.
I'm behind the bar talking tosome of my regulars and the
bartender behind me was justlike, hey, get out the way,
(03:36):
sniper.
And when I went to back up Iforgot, got him.
There was something behind me.
I tripped going backwards alittle bit bit and I flung my
hand up to kind of like balancemyself and, uh, my hand hit
these wine glasses that arehanging from above and within.
Doing that, I shattered a wineglass and cut my pinky finger
(03:59):
and like, oh, that doesn't lookthat bad.
I'm like, all right, let me goto the bathroom and check it out
.
And I was like, yeah, it'sgoing to need some stitches.
I'm like, no, it's not.
And I was like I opened thewound up.
I was like, yeah, this part'smissing skin, this slit and this
wound, yeah, I'm going to needthat.
They're like, oh, oh, my God,what are you going to do?
I was like Urgent care, get acouple stitches.
(04:22):
And folks, I know, you all know, but urgent care, emergency
room.
Yeah, they're nice amenities tohave, but unless you're
(04:42):
literally dying, you're notgoing to get serviced for
minimum an hour, like they eventold me.
Hey, sign up online, it willhelp the process go faster.
Let me ask you a question ifyou fill out all the information
online, why the fuck do youstill have to fill out a paper
form answering the samequestions and, like I, told you
last night make that make senseabout this.
Scott (05:02):
Just the fact that you only had to wait an hour was
amazing.
I I thought, yeah, friday night, I mean fair friday night,
urgency, care, vegas hour, wait.
I mean, when I texted you andyou were like yeah, I'm on the
way home, I'm like I'm sorry,what I mean?
(05:25):
I expected you to be thereuntil way after I went to bed.
Right, and you're bitchingabout an hour, shut up.
Graham (05:33):
But well, I well, no, that's to finally get in.
Then you know they had the techand she's like looking at it.
The doctor finally came in like30 minutes later.
I mean actual, you know,looking at the finger doing
something about it, 20 minutes,me being there two hours and 15
minutes, I mean, look, I'm happyit's fixed Once again.
Scott (05:58):
I know, I know.
Graham (05:58):
Anyhow, I know.
Scott (06:00):
But yeah, the main thing is glad you weren't injured more
you know, oh, no, yeah, yeah,the main thing is glad you
weren't injured more.
Graham (06:06):
Oh no, yeah, yeah.
The worst part is I'm fillingout the paperwork at work the
accident form and dude, theplace I work at is run by real
intelligent people yeah, run byreal intelligent people.
(06:28):
Dude, there's like fourdifferent forms that are more or
less the same thing.
But then there's questions likewell, what could have been done
differently to prevent this andwhat rules were not followed,
that this happened?
And I'm like guys, this is thesituation of complete accident
you ever heard what an accidentis.
Scott (06:48):
Do you know what the definition?
Of that is.
Yeah, I mean if you didn'tallow snipers in the business,
then Graham wouldn't have gottengot Sniper got him, I mean.
Graham (07:03):
So I'm just filling out all this same shit.
I'm just like.
I mean the one thing I'll saythis I was happy that management
was super cool about the wholesituation.
They're very like are you okay,are you okay?
I mean not that I wouldn'tthink that they would not care
about my well-being, but I meanthe one manager kind of saw what
(07:23):
happened and they knew it wasnot.
I mean, they knew I wasn'tdoing anything stupid to cause
this to happen.
It's just it was a flukeaccident.
It just it was what it was.
I mean it's uh, you know it'sbeen a long time since I've been
to any type of emergency place.
I mean it's kind of funny.
This is the second time I'vehad to get stitches on my finger
(07:45):
.
Like the first time was over 20years ago when I was working at
a convenience store and youknow I cut my finger on the meat
slicer.
Ow, oh, whoa.
End game break on this.
Oregon, arizona.
What happened?
That was?
Scott (08:00):
a turnover.
Anyhow, Arizona's up 3-7-0-6left.
Graham (08:08):
Hey, on a side note, I'll say this Out of all the
games that have happened theselast few days, why did it take
until today?
Well, there was one gameyesterday, maybe two games that
were like oh, I don't knowactually compelling, actually
came down to the wire or wereclose.
Most of these games have beenblowouts, yeah, or not, you know
(08:28):
, no upsets, really I mean we'llget it, because the the main
one, colorado state.
They were actually favored,even though there were a 12 seed
.
Scott (08:39):
But I mean two seed, they gone yeah yeah, saint john's
two seed they gone.
Yeah yeah, st John's two seedthey gone.
But it took to the second roundthe weekend to get that happen.
But anyhow, we'll get into thatin a minute, even though.
Announcer (08:56):
Yeah.
Scott (08:57):
So the end of your weekend was you got stitches?
No bueno, yeah, got to watch alittle bit of sports and lost
some bets, like everybody else,sheesh.
Graham (09:12):
Yeah, golf didn't treat us very well this week.
No, march Madness didn't treatus very well this week and the
thing is, a lot of what we tookI'm sure other people took, like
some of these games.
It's just like what happenedDude St John's, their number one
(09:32):
player, got benched.
Scott (09:35):
Well when you're one for 17 for the game.
Graham (09:39):
I mean, you got to do something.
I don't blame Patino.
Scott (09:43):
You got two Hall of Fame coaches.
I mean you know I Fame coaches.
I mean, yeah, you know I get it, I don't know hey at least Duke
looked pretty solid today andget hot.
They've looked like the mostdominating team so far in the
tournament.
I mean, some people were I mean, what was the line today
(10:04):
against Baylor?
Like they gave Baylor way morerespect than they needed.
Nine yeah.
Graham (10:10):
It was nine.
I'm sorry what.
Announcer (10:14):
Yeah.
Scott (10:16):
Thinking about that today , after the fact and you and I
talking last night about what welike, like we always say, if I
could read tomorrow's sportspage today, but that's one that
that's one of the ones that weshould have read tomorrow's
sports page last night.
Graham (10:34):
Yeah.
Scott (10:34):
Like I'm sorry what Baylor nine points.
I mean Duke.
Graham (10:41):
I don't know.
I mean, if you want the flipside of that, how about UConn
and Florida?
How was Florida favored by nine?
Scott (10:52):
Yeah, but that's a little different story.
I can understand why they'refavored by nine, but still kind
of weird when you're talkingabout the defending national
champions, for I mean, didn'tthey win two years in a row?
Amazing coach.
You know that's a lot of pointsfor that situation.
I mean, didn't they win it twoyears in a row?
Amazing coach?
(11:12):
Yeah, they did.
You know that's a lot of pointsfor that situation, even though
they had a shitty season.
That dude knows how to motivatefor the tournament.
Anyhow, facts and what a game.
First round, I mean it was allright.
You know it was what it was Alot of blowouts, um, let's just
(11:33):
jump real quick into golf beforewe get into the tournament and
all that stuff.
And just because golf, let's doit golf.
We got a couple funny topicsthat graham and I were talking
about last night that literallycame out of left field and
that's why we started the show arandom saturday night a couple
beers deep, talk about whateveryou want.
(11:54):
So victor hovland gets hisfirst dub right in a while.
Coming off yeah, coming offthat dominant performance a
couple years ago when he woneverything in the playoffs and
just thanks for coming.
Everybody chain swing coacheswent to shit in the handbasket,
whatever he's been down and outcame back.
I mean, he played good at therider cup, yeah, right after.
(12:18):
That was the same season whenhe dominated the fedex.
Okay, just rolling right intothat right, yeah, but yeah,
graham and I are last night weretalking about it and you know,
I'm saying to Graham man, Ireally wish I could find an
over-under on what VictorHovland's going to shoot
tomorrow, because I'm going over100% and Graham's like why?
(12:45):
I'm like dude, he's beenplaying like shit His press
conference the other day he waswhining and seeing how emotional
he's been and he's been tryingand he's not getting the results
.
I'm like, oh yeah, this dude'sdue for a goddang 80, leading
the golf tournament.
Talking about that three orfour days ago, right, and then
(13:05):
we came out and golfed his ball.
You know I'm gonna eat my crow.
I'll do it right now.
Good for you.
Victor Hovland Always loved thedude's golf swing.
I wasn't hating on him, I wasjust hating on how he's been
playing.
Announcer (13:21):
Facts.
You know what I mean.
Scott (13:22):
I like, I like him Good players can slug, yeah, but I
was all over.
Jt Talked you into it.
You know, last night live betplus 750.
Let's go.
Jt's got a two-shot leadthrough 14.
(13:42):
Today.
They're offering me a cash out.
Let's go, I'm not going to takeit.
Graham (13:49):
They say that.
But why would you take a cashout there If you've got a
two-stroke league on 14, you'reletting it ride yeah.
Scott (13:54):
Every time.
Graham (13:55):
Every time so anyhow.
Scott (13:57):
Jt makes a bogey, then he makes another bogey, then he
hits it dick tight on 17, a220-yard par 3, and misses the
putt.
How tight, dick tight.
It wasn't that dick tight, butit was a laser beam at the time
and the moment right, because atthe time and the moment he had
(14:20):
a one-shot lead after Bogan's 16.
Laser beam misses the putt forBirdie on 17.
Okay, walking to the 18th teebirdie on 17.
Okay, walking to the 18th teeHovland.
Okay, victor hits it.
I just called JT's dick tight.
Okay, I'm going to callHovland's seed on 17.
(14:41):
And this folks will tell youhow close he hit it to the hole.
Announcer (14:50):
We're going to call this Graham Dick Tight.
Wow, so that's how quick shotsfired.
Graham (14:55):
That was not playing, so he hit it to 12 feet.
Scott (14:57):
That is amazing.
Graham (14:58):
I'm going to pat myself on the back for that one.
He hit it to 12 feet.
Scott (15:02):
And makes the putt right.
Makes the putt on 17.
Now JT's on 18.
Hovland's still on 17.
Now JT's on 18.
Hovland's still on 17,.
But I'm sitting here with Ava'sboyfriend, andrew, and it's a
430-yard hole and I'm like whyis he hitting driver here?
Jt, you're tied for the lead.
You have to hit the fairway.
(15:22):
It's 430 yards.
I mean, good God, you hit yourtwo iron 250 and you got a
little.
Hit the seven wood Dude and heyanks it and he's 120 yards out
and he's in such a shit lie hecan't even get to the green Game
(15:44):
over Right in the group behindhim.
I just talked about it.
Hovland hits it, graham dictateMakes the putt.
Now Hovland's got a one-shotlead.
Jt makes bogey.
Hovland hits it a little righton 18.
Leaves it short.
Makes bogey.
Wins by one.
Graham and I lose our bet.
Thanks.
Graham (16:06):
But Well, hey bro, we had the momentum from last week
when we called Rory coming backfrom four shots.
That's why we like dude, jt wasthe play.
Scott (16:17):
That's all I was thinking of 14.
I'm like dude, we just calledit two Saturdays in a row, live
bet Saturday night.
I don't even remember what Rorywas, but he was four.
He was four back at least Hisline was plus four, I think Plus
400.
Something around there.
Graham (16:37):
No, I got him for plus 650.
Scott (16:41):
All right, but JT, yeah, plus 750?
Let's go.
Oh yeah, anyhow.
Uh, I don't know, this is a funevent.
That golf course is so hard.
I mean geez louise, yeah, butuh glad I didn't make that lowry
bet yeah, but you were, youwere scat, you were, were pissed
(17:08):
after two days.
Graham (17:12):
Hey, what do you always tell me First two days don't
matter, bro?
I mean they do, but you knowwhat I'm trying to say.
Scott (17:19):
They do, but they don't.
Graham (17:20):
It's a marathon, not a sprint.
Yeah, because most of our betswhen we do pick on the golf it's
to place top 20 usually.
Because most of our bets whenwe do pick on the golf it's to
place like top 20 usually.
So it's like when they go outin day one, if they're in the
top five, I'm like, yeah, thisis great.
And you're like, bro, it's dayone, you got three more rounds.
Sim it down.
You know what I mean.
So it's just like same thingwith Lowry.
It's just like, oh, there he is.
Scott (17:42):
Dude, because he plays hard golf courses, great, great
why?
Because he's a ball striker,he's an iron player.
Look at the last four eventsdude In Florida.
Bay Hill what was before BayHill?
I forget where they were.
(18:03):
Whatever the last three BayHill or no, they were at.
Pga National.
Graham (18:10):
Yeah, where the Honda?
Scott (18:11):
used to be.
They went from Honda Bay Hillbrutal golf course, tpc brutal
and then to Ennisbrook.
That's a rough stretch and lookwho's been consistent every
week.
Graham (18:25):
Well, I mean, if you want to talk about a perfect
segue, I mean against hardgolfer, I mean hard golf courses
two weeks.
How do you like his chances ataugusta?
Is he?
Is he a top 20 play?
And I'm not asking, in a sense,for a scottie's hot picks, I'm
just asking off yeah, he doesn'tplay there very well does?
Scott (18:46):
I don't think it's.
It doesn't play to his strengthof his game at Augusta.
Augusta is not the kind of golfcourse I think that is his
style.
He's a European from Ireland.
What do you do in Europe?
You got to hit it low.
You got to flight it.
What do you do at Augusta?
(19:07):
You got to hit it high and landit on those greens that are 37
on the stint meter and superfirm.
Graham (19:15):
I don't know, am I saying he can't win?
Scott (19:17):
No, I mean, we did see the worst Masters champion of
all time from Europe win there.
Graham (19:26):
You're welcome.
Who's that?
Scott (19:29):
Do we really need to name him I?
Graham (19:33):
mean.
Scott (19:33):
Well, you know, not everyone that listened to us is
if you're a fan of sports andgolf and you didn't know the
name, that just popped up inyour head when I said the worst
Masters champion of all time I'mpretty bitter.
Graham (19:56):
I mean, there was a couple that who, who is worse
than Danny Willett.
Scott (20:06):
Okay.
Graham (20:07):
Oh, you just gave it away Worst champion at the
masters ever.
Scott (20:14):
The guy played the greatest nine holes of his life
and Jordan Spieth, going forback-to-back green jackets, hit
about 14 balls in the water on12, with the lead to gift the
black pudding eating DannyWillett the green jacket.
And you're going to say there'ssomebody that's worse than him,
(20:44):
the only thing that's worsethan him.
Never mind, I'm not even goingthere.
That was going to be weird.
Graham (20:56):
No, say it no, go ahead.
Scott (20:57):
Go ahead.
Who's worse than Danny?
Graham (21:00):
Willett as a.
Scott (21:00):
Masters champion.
Who's the worst guy that's wonthe green jacket?
That gets an invitation to thechampions dinner every tuesday
night for life, the week of themasters?
Who's worse than that?
Dude, you're welcome?
Graham (21:14):
nobody I mean, I'm just trying to think of some recency
over here, uh, the only personthat I can even.
Okay, how about what happenedto Charles Swartzel?
Scott (21:35):
He played great for 72 holes.
Okay, he fought off a Jason Daythat shot 31 on the back nine.
Graham (21:50):
All right, all right.
The only person okay, I thinkthe Molinari was a good one too.
Right, the only just hold on.
Scott (21:59):
The only person that even is close in my mind to being
that much of a disappointingMasters champion and folks we're
talking like Danny Willett, isnegative 37, okay on the scale
of 1 to 10.
The next person I'm going toput in positive numbers that's
how it's not even close MikeWeir.
Graham (22:23):
I mean, but Mike Weir is , he's had somewhat of a career.
You can't.
I mean Danny Willett has doneclose to nothing.
Well, look, if you play on thePGA Tour, I mean you're not crap
.
I mean obviously you're a greatplayer, I get all that, but I
(22:44):
mean.
Scott (22:50):
Yeah.
Graham (22:52):
Danny Willett.
Yeah, I just tried.
I mean, there's other names.
Scott (23:02):
As I'm looking it up right now, you're not even going
to say a name that evencompares to him.
Graham (23:10):
Oh, hold my beer.
He says Damn.
So that was in 2016,.
Danny Willett Swartzel was 11.
I want to talk shit on this guyjust because I know who you're
going to just because I can tellyou right now who you're gonna
(23:31):
say.
Scott (23:32):
If I guess it right now, will you be honest with me?
Graham (23:36):
100.
Scott (23:37):
Zach Johnson yes, of course I knew you were gonna say
that and you know what I wantedto say to you.
Graham (23:50):
I'm listening check out how many majors zach johnson's
one.
No, I know, I know, I know.
But here's the thing if you'rethat smart and you're that good,
why do you tell your boys tonot practice for six fucking
weeks before the for the ridercup?
Scott (24:03):
that's a I know, I know we're talking worst masters,
champion of all time.
Can we just agree to agree thatI'm right?
Graham (24:13):
um, yeah, so I'm looking at the list here of the past
champions, as you're saying this.
Scott (24:19):
I have to know this right now.
I have to know what who gavehim the jacket.
Graham (24:24):
No, I don't give a shit about that.
Scott (24:25):
Yeah, jordan, did.
I want to know what DannyWillett's, what his champion's
dinner menu was.
Oh, I bet it was the worstdinner of all time, wow.
Graham (24:41):
Guaranteed.
I completely forgot, dude.
You want to hear the worst part.
I know where you're going heretoo.
Bubba Watson, danny, first off,bubba Watson, bro, don't even
disrespect him like that.
All right, go into what youwere going to say.
I was there that year, dude, ifpeople can comprehend the shot
(25:05):
on 10 in the playoff that he hit, I can't comprehend it, because
I've stood in the exact spotseven times.
As have I, and I still can'tcomprehend it.
There is, dude, you like to hita 40-yard hook from 120 yards
out With a gap wedge With a gapwedge, like come on, but while
(25:27):
you're looking that up, this isthe three-year stretch.
This is the worst three-yearstretch in.
Announcer (25:31):
Masters history.
Graham (25:32):
Champions Ready, let's hear it?
2016,.
Danny Willett Now I like thenext guy, but he won in a
playoff.
I don't remember who he played.
Sergio won in a playoff.
Do you remember who he beat?
Damn it.
It doesn't say on here, so I'dhave to look it up.
Was it Justin Rose?
Scott (25:53):
I'm almost positive.
Graham (25:55):
I think that is true, almost positive.
I would say yeah.
And then 2018,.
Mr, I cheat at golf and I don'tlike my parents, ricky finished
second out here.
Yeah, Patrick, fucking Reed.
But dude, I'm going through thelist and honestly, and then 19.
(26:18):
Who won in?
Announcer (26:19):
19?
.
Yeah, you're right.
Graham (26:20):
It's Willett, it's definitely Willett.
Oh yeah, without a doubt,Because, dude, everyone here,
it's like Tiger Vijay, MarcoMira, I mean when Marco Mira won
in 98, he's a solid player.
Scott (26:37):
Yeah, you think.
Graham (26:41):
I mean Ian Woosnam, larry Mize in the playoffs,
sandy Lyle.
I mean they're all.
I mean none of these.
There's no one-hit wonders onhere except Danny Willett.
All right, I can see, dannyWillett is the worst.
I mean, once you start going tothe 40s and 50s, I don't know
the people.
(27:01):
So I mean, like, do you knowwho Art Wall Jr is, dude or?
Scott (27:07):
Doug Ford no, but I just got the menu.
Graham (27:13):
What did he have?
Scott (27:14):
April 4th 2017.
European prime rib.
So that probably had the flavorof a piece of dirt Roasted
potatoes and vegetables.
Yorkshire pudding and gravy.
For dessert, apple crumble.
(27:37):
Oh, shocker.
Coffee and tea served.
You want to have a littleteapot?
Eh, dude, that's the worst ever.
I mean I can get a better mealat Wawa Breakfast Burrito and
drink some cooies.
Get out of here.
Graham (27:54):
Right, black pudding Dude.
We could go to Bucky's and getbetter food, and I've never been
, yeah.
Scott (28:00):
Dude, if you want to get some beef jerky and you go to
Bucky's, yeah.
If you like having 7,000flavors, have fun picking one
out.
Graham (28:09):
Hey, they give out samples Anyhow once again love
golf.
Scott (28:15):
The way that Graham and I got on this topic last night.
We were talking about AngelCabrera actually playing in the
Masters this year because if youdidn't know, now you know he
was in jail for a while.
But we started talking about itand then we brought up danny
willett and I was like graham,doesn't anna cabrera have two
majors?
(28:36):
And we had to.
And yeah, we knew we did.
We didn't know what the secondone was.
We knew he had the green jacket.
And then I'm like grahamremember when I played at
oakmont and I stayed in the poolhouse, I stayed in the angel
cabrera room and graham's likeyeah, you dumb ass.
That means he won the us openat oakmont and I was like wow
(29:02):
dude, that conversation lastnight it was pretty good.
Graham (29:07):
Wait, where was that second major at?
Then you look it up and you'relike oh, it was the US Open, the
one at Oakmont.
Oh, I'm like, oh, the one atthe room that you stayed at at
Oakmont, Whatever Like.
Sometimes things are so obviousthey're not obvious, right, Do
you remember?
Scott (29:24):
what his score was At Oakmont Remember we talked about
it last night.
Graham (29:31):
Oh, yeah, plus five.
Scott (29:33):
Yeah.
Graham (29:36):
Unbelievable Carnage Dude that I remember.
That dude that was.
Yeah, it's not very often thatyou get to see, because I mean,
no regular tournaments are thatdifficult.
It's always the majors, butit's very rare that the winning
score is above or.
Scott (29:58):
Over par, yeah, above par , I think when DJ won it it's
rare.
The next US Open afterCabrera's win.
When DJ won it, I think he wastwo over.
Announcer (30:09):
Yeah.
Scott (30:10):
I believe, and that's with a bullshit penalty called
against him on the back nine.
Remember that.
Graham (30:20):
Was that Bandon?
No, dude, that was at.
Scott (30:22):
Oakmont.
Graham (30:24):
Oh yeah.
Scott (30:25):
DJ got that penalty called on him and nobody knew
what the situation was, if itwas a penalty or not a penalty,
as we're watching the event onthe back, nine, yeah, and DJ, I
think, standing on the 72nd hole.
Nobody knows if it's a penaltyor if it's not.
He's got a one-shot lead and DJjust goes up there and hits it
(30:48):
gram-dick tight and says, heyworld, hold my beer.
I don't care if it's aone-stroke penalty or not.
I just got that dub.
And now I get to go back withPaulina and you motorboats.
And you know I told you tonightwas going to be a good one.
(31:12):
Told you tonight was going to bea good one.
But you know, I had my stupidmoment last night about Angel
Cabrera, when I stayed in hisroom at Oakmont.
Graham (31:23):
But oh you why?
Scott (31:25):
I know what you're going to do at Oakmont.
But I will say, folks, that wasa pretty dumb moment for me,
but nothing takes the cake ofGraham Friday night.
Graham (31:41):
You know what?
Scott (31:41):
And I know he had been a little freaked out.
His hand was bleedingeverywhere, he had to go get a
shot and his fingers sewn backtogether.
But we're talking and I'm likeman, there's some good matchups
next round and March Madness.
And Graham's like okay, whendoes the second round start?
(32:04):
What day next week?
And I'm like Graham, what didyou just say?
Okay, when does the secondround start, what day next week?
And I'm like Graham, what didyou just say?
You're like when does thesecond round start?
I'm like you're a co-host of apodcast and you don't know when
the second round starts.
It's tomorrow, guy.
Graham (32:27):
And I will say I thought there was at least a two-day
break.
Scott (32:30):
And then all I'm going to say about that is we're not
going to talk about it anymore,because you know what happens at
Fight Club, what Stays at FightClub, or sorry, whatever.
I screwed that up.
I'll smack myself.
Whatever you get it Dumbestthing I've ever heard come out
(32:52):
of his mouth, but anyhow.
Graham (32:57):
How about this?
I'll lay it on thicker for you.
When I made that comment, folks, scott was like hold on, wait
what did you just say I'm like,what do you mean wait?
Announcer (33:06):
what did you?
Just say, I'm like what do youmean?
What did I just say?
Graham (33:09):
bro, we have a podcast together.
Don't you fucking know whenthese games are?
I'm like dude, I'm tired.
I've been through a lot of shit.
My brain ain't working rightnow.
Scott (33:21):
I'm just asking a question to ask, and what was my
response to that?
Graham (33:24):
I wish I knew word for word.
I'm just asking a question andwhat was my response to that?
I wish I knew word for wordSomething to the effect of you
should know, You're like Graham,this is by far the dumbest
thing you've ever said.
It was, and I was like I don'tknow, bro, I've said some pretty
(33:47):
dumb shit before Nope, nothingworse than that, nothing, zero,
zilch.
Scott (33:54):
All right, let's go to another topic.
I don't even know what the fuckit's going to be, but it's not
going to be the fact that youdidn't know.
Graham (34:03):
All right, that's fine.
Scott (34:05):
As we're sitting here is there one?
Transitioning, the score is 80to 78,.
25 seconds left Arizona's up tooh shit.
And last time I checked whatdoes 78 plus 80 equal Graham?
Graham (34:17):
158.
Scott (34:22):
Winner over one 51 and a half.
Graham (34:31):
Anyhow, I'm glad someone's winning their bets.
Why am I?
I should be picking over points, not these damn winners.
Scott (34:34):
Oh my god, these games it's been dude everything I've
been reading on social mediaplatforms.
It's been a brutal week forgamblers.
Graham (34:44):
Oh dude, vegas is like show me the money.
Yeah, brutal.
Scott (34:51):
Another fun thing that happened last night was well,
first off, we had my daughter'sbirthday party.
I can't tell her happy birthdayyet because her birthday is in
a couple of days.
We just did it early with thefamily, that was my weekend.
Announcer (35:05):
Thanks for asking me about my weekend, you selfish
son of a.
Scott (35:10):
Anyhow, graham and I literally last night discussed
this for a long time and I sawthis on the Graham and it was
every NFL team's regular seasonwins over the last 10 years
Regular season.
And you know, obviously I'mlooking at the numbers and I'm
(35:38):
asking Graham who it is.
So obviously it's a no brainerin my mind.
If you would have asked me thequestion it would have been the
same Graham.
But I'm looking at it and whatwas the first thing I told you
the craziest thing to me was theteams that are tied for second
Right and the team that's ifthat's first, it's second, it's
(35:59):
third, it's fourth, the teamthat that's sixth.
Those were the things that weremind blowing to me.
So, graham, last 10 yearsregular season wins who's
sitting there at number one inthe NFL regular season chiefs
chiefs at 123 wins.
Graham (36:24):
I mean no surprise.
And the worst part is is lastnight, after you know, having
multiple beverages and you know,maybe a little herbal
medication, my guesses were notvery spot on.
That's why I was like who arethese teams Right?
And the worst part is, everytime, scott, you ask me a
(36:46):
question something like this,and the way you word it, it
sometimes makes me feel like, oh, it's not the obvious teams,
it's someone else, or it's notmy team, it's someone else.
Scott (37:00):
I just have to ask you a question because of what you
just said.
It's how I word it.
Okay, I see you, ingas, overthere looking across the country
to me in virginia.
Okay, as you're looking at me,I just have to say I'm not just
all good, looks, bro, I gotbrains and there's a method to
(37:23):
my madness.
Okay, you gotta, I mean, justaccept that and move on.
Okay, oh, my God, and thatmight be the greatest line ever
in the history of the bald guyson the bench- I don't know.
Graham (37:42):
We've had a few gems.
Ain't nothing better than thatAnyhow?
Oh, because you'recomplimenting yourself, no, just
because of the look on yourface when you about shit
yourself.
Scott (37:52):
When I said that, oh dude , turn the game on who?
Arizona's up one with 10seconds left, inbound 10 seconds
, they just got fouled.
Wow so Oregon scored.
So back to number six.
The crazy one for me theVikings.
The Vikings sitting there at 99wins.
(38:14):
You got the best team in thelast 10 years the Chiefs at 123.
The Vikings at 99.
Think about that Right.
Graham (38:26):
In the last 10 they had a few.
Announcer (38:28):
Really yeah.
Definite good years, last year,because they had yeah.
Graham (38:33):
But I'm like.
Scott (38:35):
Yeah, tied for second.
Graham (38:37):
I mean, who was the Vikings quarterback 10 years ago
?
Scott (38:41):
Favre.
Maybe Was Favre playing 2015?
He might have retired beforethen.
I don't know.
No, I might have retired beforethen?
Graham (38:48):
I don't know.
No, I think he retired beforethen.
Yeah, I'm trying to think.
Is that a ponder?
No, because they wouldn't havewon that many games with him,
bridgewater was probably likefive years ago.
Scott (39:02):
Yeah, you thought the team with the second most wins
and I kind of would have thoughtthat too, not looking at the
numbers would be the Ravens.
Yeah, but you're not far off.
They were only off one win fromtime to second.
But you asked me when I wasasking you this, you were like
(39:25):
where are my Steelers at?
Like in 15th out of the wholeleague?
Yeah, I think it was around 15.
Graham (39:35):
No, no, I said 15 because, like I said, I was a
little buzzed up last night.
Scott (39:39):
I'm just like 15th place and wins out of 32 teams and you
haven't had a losing season inhow long.
Well, since Tomlin's been thereand I surprised Graham with the
Steelers and the Bills tied forsecond with the most wins in
the last 10 years in regularseason, with 101.
Graham (40:00):
Yeah, and after you said that, I'm thinking to myself.
I'm like well, 101.
I was like we had a few seasonswhere we were 8 and 8.
But yeah, most of those wereeither 9 and 7 or 10 plus.
So if you think about it, weaveraged 10 wins a season and
I'm just like wow.
Scott (40:16):
And then, what did I say to you?
Graham (40:23):
Well, you just really took the wind out of my sails.
But you said that to have thatmany wins in 10 seasons, that is
a definite indictment on MikeTomlin as a head coach.
Scott (40:38):
With the talent y'all have had.
Graham (40:42):
Yes, and my response which?
Scott (40:47):
I get it.
Last year was an injury year.
Graham (40:50):
No, and I'm not even saying last year, I'm just
saying and look, and Tomlin saysit all the time I get it Next
man up, it doesn't matter, yougot to play with the guys you
got, and I get that.
It's not the best team, it'sthe healthiest team.
I get that it's not the bestteam, it's the healthiest team.
I get that.
But there's multiple years andI will sound like a homer right
(41:11):
now and I don't give a shit.
Scott (41:13):
Hey, you've earned that right.
Graham (41:15):
When you lose Antonio Brown to CTE from Perfect, when
you don't have your number onewide receiver, when you don't
have your number one runningback and you've had them all
season and then they get hurt inthe playoffs, what do you think
is going to happen?
Scott (41:29):
Or they get hurt right before the playoffs.
I'm going to go simpler thanthat.
If you have, a future Hall ofFame quarterback that played his
entire career with thefranchise he retires.
Then you draft someone thatprobably shouldn't have been
drafted in the first round andthrow the keys to the franchise
(41:53):
on his back.
Good luck.
Graham (41:58):
Look, I totally understand.
But the thing like with KennyPickett, it was a combination of
he was in their facility.
Scott (42:09):
At that he was a lottery ticket.
He's right there, the Steelershad to scratch it.
Graham (42:15):
He look.
He should have gone in thesecond round and people forget.
A lot of people forget KennyPickett was the first
quarterback taken that yearright.
A lot of people forget KennyPickett was the first
quarterback taken that yearRight.
That being said, he reallyshould have gone in the second,
but with Pittsburgh picking atlike 22, they couldn't risk him
not being there.
(42:36):
So unless they took someoneelse and then traded up in the
second round.
It's like you know what I mean.
Like I can't fault them fortaking a shot on Pickett.
You know what I mean.
Announcer (42:48):
Like you got to do it .
You can't.
Scott (42:51):
Yes, you can't.
Graham (42:54):
And plus the last year with Pickett at Pitt, like he
was ACC player of the year.
He was that guy.
And plus you're already in thebuilding you play at Heinz Field
for your home pick games.
It's one of those situationswhere one plus one equals two.
I've said it since day one.
Scott (43:16):
They had to, had to Right .
Didn't Mason Rudolph start offthe year as the quarterback
though the starter week one, andthen they put in Pickett week
five or six or something likethat, and then he came back and
won and then it was everybodyall over the Kenny Pickett show
(43:38):
and then y'all got in theplayoffs.
I mean Y'all got in theplayoffs.
I mean I'll never forget thedime he threw to Najee in
Seattle the last week of theseason.
Y'all had to win.
It wasn't a long pass, but itwas a short and tight spaces
(43:58):
accurate AF pass.
Graham (43:59):
Yeah, and then Dude the game against Baltimore, and then
that was no.
No, towards the end of theseason.
Najee dude the game againstBaltimore, and then that was
Towards the end of the season.
Scott (44:05):
That past Nazi dude in Seattle I mean oh no, in that
situation.
Graham (44:15):
Like the kid has talent.
Scott (44:16):
I mean Now y'all gonna be fired up in the Steel City
waving them towels, rooting onmy boy, aaron Rodgers.
Six-hour meeting.
Graham (44:28):
Are we and left with no contract.
Scott (44:31):
Six hours yesterday in Pittsburgh.
I'd like to welcome toPittsburgh now, starting at
quarterback, the one dude in theNational Football League that
dumped Danica Patrick and hateshis mom.
Everybody welcome Aaron Rodgersto the facility.
Graham (44:54):
Or I save you from having to take a shot and we
trade for Kirk Cousins.
You're not trading for him it'sgoing to be a release and sign
thing You're not trading for him.
I know, I know, I know.
Scott (45:06):
But anyhow, Graham, we got to talk about real quick the
podcast NCAA March Madness Pool, Dude 21 people.
Graham (45:17):
Yes, let's do it.
Scott (45:18):
Let's go Love it.
A lot of our closest friends,some family, as we sit right now
.
Well, the game just ended.
Right now Arizona won.
I'm going to jump on real quickand see what the actual
up-to-date rankings are.
I believe you were in firstSucks to suck because you can't
(45:40):
win.
Well, I mean, I need some othershit to happen.
Yeah, uh, so ineligible peoplein first place, elliot, let's go
.
Elliot row, one of my studentsdown at the club.
Uh, super smart sports guy, buthe's sitting there at first, or
(46:05):
sorry, he's tied with matt, bigmatt, lawless and bucky.
Oh, your boy is leading thepack at fifth place, even though
I'm not eligible.
But you know, graham, you'redone, but you're not gonna win,
even though you're not going towin, even though you're not
eligible, because I think twoteams you had in your final four
lost.
Graham (46:28):
Hey, there's more games to be played.
People can lose and hopefully Imean how many people pick Duke
is the real question A lot Well,as you're asking me, one, two,
3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
Scott (46:49):
8 out of 21 pick Duke yeah, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
7 pick Florida.
We had a couple.
Graham (47:13):
Auburns what Well, I finished top three last year.
Right, I know I placed.
I know for a fact I won money.
Not sure.
Not sure I know I placed.
I know for a fact I won money.
Not sure, but once again, well,I was leading Dude.
I only missed one game out ofthe first, the first round Last
(47:36):
year.
Scott (47:36):
Same with Buckeye this year.
Out of the 64-32 but your maxpoints you can get Is 14-10,
just because of St John's andIowa State.
Elliot, the person in sixth is1790.
So you know we still got it.
Graham (47:55):
So I need Florida to lose and I need miracles to
happen.
Scott (47:57):
Basically, Basically everyone.
Graham (48:04):
Victory is mine.
Scott (48:08):
Anyhow, we're sitting here at 48 minutes and Graham's
going to try to edit thistonight and he's tired Is he.
We might jump on for a fewminutes Wednesday, talk about
the next round matchups.
But the next round matchups aresolid.
Um, I don't know.
You got anything else you wantto chat about?
(48:29):
Oh, we can't.
I would feel bad as a sportsnerd If I didn't mention this.
Oklahoma state wrestler winsthe national championship.
Graham (48:41):
Oh yes.
Scott (48:41):
They're calling it the biggest upset in NCAA wrestling
history.
The dude he beat in the goldmedal winner in the Olympics.
I thought I saw something.
I'm like don't hold me to thisLike he never lost a college
match, Like Bro the guy, yeah,dude is multiple year National
(49:03):
champion, national championship.
Graham (49:07):
The craziest thing is also on top of that, because
that was heavyweight Team title.
Well, no, I wasn't going toteam, I was going to go
individual.
I think it's two weight classesdown individual.
(49:28):
I think it's two weight classesdown.
Um, you know, gotta representfucking pennsylvania my boy from
, and my boy and I can't thinkof what his name is right now
but um, the first ever five-timenational championship, penn
state wrestler never lost incollege.
That's insane.
You're that good.
That's what the dude that lostto a heavyweight was, and you, I
(49:51):
know, all right.
Scott (49:52):
So here's something real quick Show me your hands.
Show me your hands, let's go.
I'm going to ask you a question.
I only see one.
Who won, graham?
You lied to me last night whenyou looked something up.
You knew that, though that wasobvious who won the NCAA
championship and Division Iwrestling this year.
(50:15):
The team the team, why?
Graham (50:28):
Well, I can tell you who it's not.
That shit school from EastCarolina.
Scott (50:38):
That was the question from last night.
You, son of a bitch, come onwho won the wrestling?
Graham (50:45):
championship Penn.
Scott (50:45):
State Great guess?
Yeah, they did.
You had no fucking clue, butanyhow.
Graham (50:50):
Penn State is a national powerhouse.
Of course they won, bro.
Of course they won.
Scott (50:59):
How do you look at me across the country with a
straight face and say, of coursethey won, when you had no clue
and you just threw a piece ofpepperoni on the wall and it
stuck?
Graham (51:08):
I told you they had the national champion five years in
a row.
Scott (51:13):
One weight class.
Graham (51:15):
You did one weight class .
Scott (51:15):
Did.
Announcer (51:15):
I not just say that three minutes ago.
Scott (51:17):
But then you couldn't name who won the goddamn team
championship.
Graham (51:20):
Well, it's Well, he's a black guy Today.
Junior.
Scott (51:28):
As I quote Adam Sandler I hope everybody saw the trailer
for Happy Gilmore 2.
So good, july 25th, yetHopefully it doesn't break
Netflix like the stupid fightwith Mike Tyson and that social
media retard.
But anyhow, right folks, it'slate, it's what's supposed to be
(51:52):
a short episode.
Graham, I love you.
I love you on the podcast withyou, even though you say stupid
shit and don't realize when thesecond round of the NCAA
championship is and oh my Lord,I said the wrong name, all right
, or the wrong date, whoopity.
(52:13):
You said the wrong.
Graham (52:15):
Yeah.
Scott (52:16):
I mean you call the sky green and the grass blue.
Graham (52:21):
Hey, hey, it's for horses that's going to win the
West, or what?
What did you say?
I said are the Knights winningthe West, or what we're going to
win?
Scott (52:32):
the Pacific.
We're probably not going to winthe West, but whatever we got
that dove three in a row at homeNice change of subject.
Announcer (52:44):
Audrey speaking of change of subject.
Scott (52:46):
You're welcome.
We're not even going to mentionwhat you said in a text thread,
but anyhow.
Graham (52:54):
Hey, on a side note, am I going to beat her, at least?
Scott (52:57):
Well, she has.
Her max is 1370, years is 1410,so let's go, audrey, suck it.
Graham (53:10):
Wow, that was aggressive .
I mean that in the most politeways, by the way.
Announcer (53:14):
Anyhow, Just saying that talking shit, get us out of
here.
Scott (53:18):
Another fun episode.
Latest shit on a Sunday night,but thank God I ain't got to
work tomorrow.
Graham (53:27):
A lot of laughs.
What did we even talk about?
We talked a lot about PGA.
Scott (53:33):
Tour players.
Danny Willett Hitting it soclose to the flag.
We call it Graham Dick Tight.
That was pretty good.
Hey, 12 feet is tight.
That was pretty good, and a 12feet is tight.
Anyhow, folks, I love you.
(53:56):
This is one of my favoriteepisodes of all times and don't
care if you like it or you don'tlike it, but I had fun, graham
had fun, and I guarantee you TPwill be texting me when you
release this and he listens toit and be like you guys are
absolute morons.
But you know what?
I embrace it.
(54:16):
My albino friend on the otherside of the country.
Embraces it and let's have agood time outside of the country
.
Embraces it and let's have agood time.
And, by the way, as I sendeverybody out Andy hashtag, w H
O, good night friends, bubbaScott, it's always a pleasure.
Graham (54:36):
I had an absolute blast tonight and, as the best homie
always says, bubba.
Scott (54:42):
And I messed up how we normally do it.
You normally say that and thenI say goodnight friends, but it
is 1230.
I'm a vodka deep Couple beers,graham.
I love you.
Goodnight friends, andy.
Same message.
Announcer (55:01):
Who.
This episode of the Bald Guyson the Bench podcast is brought
to you by our friends atNorthstar Credit Union and
Southern Auto, located inSoutheast Virginia.
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