Fighting The Right Battles Pt.2

Season 2: Episode 8 - Fighting The Right Battles Pt.2

In this episode of Banta with Toni, we dive straight into pop culture moments, starting with the major shift as D.E.I. programs are eliminated from major retail outlets—what it means and its wider implications. We also break down the biggest highlights from Grammy night: Beyoncé finally securing Album of the Year, Kendrick Lamar’s clean sweep, and Doechii’s well-deserved win.

The main discussion builds on last week’s conversation about fighting the right battles. This time, Toni explores the importance of creating and protecting your peace. How setting boundaries, learning to say no, and letting go of grudges can transform not just your life but also those around you. Tune in for an insightful conversation on maintaining your mental and emotional well-being.

As always, she concludes the show with her "Book of the Week" selection, alongside her weekly picks for gospel and secular music. This thoughtful mix provides listeners with the perfect soundtrack and inspiration to carry them through the hustle and bustle of life.

Join the conversation! Subscribe to "Banta with Toni" for more lively discussions. Follow me on social media to stay updated on all the banter:

Instagram: @BantaPodcast

Youtube, Apple, Amazon, iHeart: Banta with Toni

Don't miss out on the next episode! Hit play on the next installment of Banta With Toni.

Remember, the conversation doesn't end here. Share your thoughts, stories, and favorite tunes with me using #BantaToni on social media. Your voice matters in our banter-filled community!

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/bantapod/message

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to Banta with Tony. Join me as I share stories about
motherhood, faith, life, love, and everything else in between.
I promise we'll also have some fun along the way, and I hope
that the time we spend together will end up being some of the
highlights of your week. Thank you for coming along.

(00:20):
Hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of Banta with
Tony. I hope you guys are having a
wonderful week and that this week has been good to you, that
February has been good to you because we're officially now in
the new month. And if you remember from last
week, my new year is now starting.
So happy new year. We're just going to jump right

(00:42):
in today. We have a lot of ground to
cover, things to talk about, so we're just going to get into it.
So the first thing I wanted to talk about was the DI cuts that
are happening with a lot of the big corporations.
So the two big ones that we knowabout right now, right, are
Walmart and Target. And I've been seeing so much
discourse online about this stuff.
And I just feel like there is noone clear definitive answer.

(01:05):
I feel like it's going to changereally when you look at it from
brand to brand because there arecertain brands that have worked
very hard to get into these stores and to now let go of
those partnerships. It's going to take a lot to
untangle themselves from it. And so if we say that we are in
the business of supporting, you know, women of color or, you
know, black-owned brands and allof that, then we have to be very

(01:28):
strategic in how we go about doing it.
So I just now, before I even started recording, saw a video
online about, I guess some of the shareholders from Target, at
least according to this that I saw on TikTok.
I did not look it up to see if it was accurate or not.
So this is not good journalism on my part, Just so you know,
I'm just putting it out there. But apparently some of the

(01:48):
shareholders for Target are suing them because they have
lost money and they did not anticipate that the DEI cuts
were going to be affecting their, you know, profits.
So they've lost a lot of money. So they're suing Target because
obviously they're like, well, you guys should have done some
research and know that this stuff was not going to pan out
and you cost us some money. Like this is not the time for
people to be losing their money.So apparently that's the latest

(02:09):
development. Again, like I said, it's just my
perspective. So this is what I think.
I think every brand is going to need something different.
I think if you are really sayingthat you are interested in
supporting a lot of these brands, like for example,
Tabitha Brown, she is in Target.The do I get them from Walmart?
I think once I bought them from TJ Maxx, but they're not a
staple in TJ Maxx. Like I'm not going to find it

(02:31):
all the time. I know for a fact I will always
find honey pot at TJ Maxx. So actually that's where I get a
lot of my honey pot products is from TJ Maxx because the same
products I can get from Walgreens.
I can go to TJ Maxx and save a couple dollars.
Like I'm saving my money. It's crazy.
Like I don't know if a lot of people know this.
So I'm going to put you guys on a little bit because I love to

(02:51):
share these things. So a lot of those like good skin
care brands, the Korean skin care brands, you can get a lot
of that stuff from TJ Maxx Course RX if you are like into
like the snail mucin. I've been loving that lately to
help bring moisture back into myskin because I use retinol.
I'm on spironolactone to help with acne.
And so like for me, even though I have oily skin, because of the

(03:13):
things that I'm using, I always have to find a way to put
moisture back into my skin because when it gets too dry, I
will break out too. And I don't care if it's $2.00
or $3. I'm saving a dollar saved.
It's a dollar saved. So you can get all of those
things at TJ Maxx, another place, Marshalls.
So I've been on the hunt for thesand and fog oils.

(03:34):
So I usually like to mix the oilwith my lotion before I put it
on. So I've been hearing so much
about the sand and fog and I've like used their candles before.
Their wax candles are amazing. They smell good.
They have such a good variety. So in the land of fragrances, I
know I want to check them out. And you can find those at
Marshalls. So you don't have to pay full
price. Like if I can find something of

(03:56):
good quality for a good price, I'm salt is mine.
I'm there. So these are all the little
places that I go to that I'm able to find good steals, always
looking for sales. And if I really, really want
something and I cannot have it on sale, then I will just wait
and like plan it out. But nine times out of 10, even
like with other designer things,you just got to wait a little

(04:18):
bit. I don't really care to have
something like, oh, we must be in season right now.
If I just like the design, I like the fashion, why can't I
wait so it can be next season and then I'm able to get it on
sale? Works for me because all that
matters is how I put it together.
You know, one day maybe I will be there where I'll be like I'm
wearing the latest spring collection from Chanel, but that

(04:39):
day is not today. OK.
But anyways, that's my little spiel there as far as with
finding good deals at all these discount places.
So there's really no need for you to pay full price.
So with the DI programs and the brands that are right now kind
of like in balance, because you know, a lot of their audiences,
a lot of their consumer base is asking them to take a stand.
It's not so easy. And I just want us to remember

(05:01):
that and have grace for a lot ofthese brands.
I understand that each brand is going to make a decision based
off of what's good for them. And then in general, I just want
us to also kind of like realize what times that we're in.
I think sometimes we forget that, you know, there's a whole
system working here and it's notalways the easiest to take a
stand. And those who have the ability

(05:23):
to take a stand with some of these issues, they have set
themselves up in a way where they will not feel the pinch or
feel the crunch. Or if they do, they feel like
they have the ability to withstand it.
That is great. But not everybody has formulated
their business in such a way. So I think we have to look at it
from brand to brand. Like if you have your favorite
brands that you want to support and they used to be in Target or
they used to be in Walmart, you really need to like go to those

(05:47):
brands pages. And any brand out there that you
know, that, you know, you were selling these big retailers and
you're seeing what's coming, I think you owe it to your
audience to say, OK, this is howyou can support us while we
transition. Like maybe we have a two year
contract and we're only one yearinto it.
So for the next year, even though all this stuff is going
on, we cannot remove ourselves from these stores.

(06:08):
So even though you guys are boycotting the store as a whole,
we still need you to go in and like support us and buy our
products. Like you can still buy our
stuff, but boycott other things like that can happen.
So I don't think it's a clear cut, you know, discussion.
And I just want us to remember that because then you see a lot
of things like where I know I'd seen some things about people

(06:29):
like putting pressure on TabithaBrown and asking, you know, what
her stand is going to be and allof that.
Like we just have to understand,like in the world of business
and just in life in general, there's never a simple answer to
everything. We're all interconnected in some
ways. One decision here is going to
affect 10 other things over there.
And as a business owner, you're already constantly thinking
about losing sleep, especially like when you do expansions like

(06:50):
this or with big partnerships, there's already so many pieces
that are moving that it's not clear cut and easy to just say,
OK, I'm going to take my products out of target.
That's not how it works. You have signed contracts.
You have obligations that you must meet.
And right now, if you guys don'tsupport these brands, then some
of your favorite brands might not continue to exist because by

(07:12):
the time they're done with this stuff and nobody's buying their
products and maybe they don't have the ability to sell
directly to the consumer, you know, things might look bleak
for some of them. So if the whole goal is to
support these brands, then we have to look at it really at a
case by case. And I think the founder of the
DO came out and kind of said something similar.

(07:33):
And I agreed with her completely.
Like, you know, ask these brand owners, what do you need?
What do the founders need? And then go based off of that,
go based off of what they're saying and the founders.
I think this is just the time for you guys to just come out
and just be open and just say, OK, this is what we're looking
at. We understand we're in uncharted
territory right now. We know what you guys are

(07:54):
asking. We know that it's important
because it really it is. And then with the whole DEI
stuff, before I leave that topic, this is what I want to
say to my audience and anybody else that might lend me their
ear just working in the system. Let's just say that one of the
things that used to annoy me is when we'll do the DI trainings.
The company I work for now is actually one of the best that

(08:15):
I've seen as far as with DI programs that I felt like they
actively do things. There are, there's involvement,
there's diversity even within the DI program itself.
Prior to that, I hadn't worked for a company that had really
substantial intentional. Like you can tell when
somebody's intentional about something.
And that's one of the things with my company.
I mean, everybody even gets 8 hours of PTO that's designated

(08:39):
as DEI that you can use. So if you wanted to take, you
know, Martin Luther King Day offor you know, any other holiday
that's important to you because it's diversity and inclusion.
So unfortunately we have time off for Christmas, but they
don't give you time off for, youknow, Eid celebration.
So, you know, if you have Eid coming up, you can use your PTO
hours to say, OK, on Eid, I'm going to be off.

(09:00):
So any discretionary way you want to use it?
If you want the first day of Kwanzaa to be off from work, you
have those DEI days. My employer now, I just, I say
hats off to them because I feel like that's the first time I've
seen effective DEI programs thatare actually doing what the
mission is. And they are doing a great job
at it, at least from what I can see from the outside.

(09:21):
So kudos to them. Now I've worked for other
companies where all you're goingto get is a video that they're
going to show you that is from 1845.
And on paper, it's going to say,yeah, we did diversity and
inclusion. But when you look at the
boardrooms, when you look at positions of power, when you
look at the hierarchy of a company, you look at the
breakdown organizational chart, anything you want to look at,

(09:41):
you don't see a glimpse of DEI. So I think we are at the point,
at least from my opinion, the way I see it is some of these
companies might be getting rid of like DEI programs on paper,
but what we need to search is how does the representation show
up on their actual leadership team?
Because a lot of things in our American Society is just like

(10:03):
word service, mouth service. So a lot of these times, like
when I'm seeing like a lot of these companies are probably
going to do away with the DEI programs because on paper it
needs to say that. But if you look at their
infrastructure, if you see, you know, people of color, if you
see diversity in gender represented, you know, different
religious backgrounds represented in leadership and

(10:23):
all of that, that's where you should be looking.
That's where I am looking. So it's not just, oh, on paper,
this company says they do XY andZ.
I think that time has come and gone.
I think that's the old way. That's the lazy way of doing it
back in the day. And a lot of companies rely on
that. They can save mouth service from
sunup to sundown. Oh, yeah, we support diversity.

(10:45):
But then you look at your organizational chart and we
don't see any ounce of diversity.
All we see is John and his friends.
So that is where I'm at and thatis where I'm encouraging a lot
of my listeners to. Like that's the kind of work we
need to be doing. I think we cannot leave this
conversation on a very elementary level.
Like we have to take it deeper. So it's not just, oh, well, they

(11:07):
got rid of DEI. Target might have gotten rid of
their DEI program. But the people that are there
like, because I've seen so many partnerships over the years that
I know at their core, at their heart of them, there's no way
Target does not have initiativesthat support black businesses.
So, OK, if it doesn't say it on paper, does that mean they're
day-to-day operations, they are actually getting rid of people

(11:28):
in these positions? I don't work for Target.
I don't work for that cooperation.
So people that are inside that could speak on it or people that
have any kind of insight, that'sthe kind of information I'm
looking for. Like they might have gotten rid
of their DI program. But if the place is still
operating like it has all these years, seems to me like we are
right on track. Like what's the problem?
And that's the thing I think when we're trying to fight

(11:51):
through the quagmire that is going to be these next few years
is US understanding that a lot of times what is presented to
us, that's not going to just be the complete story.
There's always going to be more to it.
So it's our job to say, OK, thisis what's presented to us and we
could take it and run with it. But what if we dig deeper?
What if we think of all other possible options?

(12:11):
And then that way we're making decisions that are informed and
then we don't feel like we're being used by somebody because
sometimes that's how people get to use you because they think,
OK, if I do this, then you're going to react this way.
If I move this way, then you're going to do this.
And I feel like with the DEI stuff, if we're not careful,
it's going to be used in a way where it's going to harm a lot
of the black brands that we careabout, a lot of the women

(12:32):
founder brands that we care about.
Because a lot of these places, you know, a Target or a Walmart,
we're probably the only ones at the time that were willing to
give them a space on the shelf. So now that you don't know what
what things were happening that Walmart or Target felt like, OK,
our hands are tied and on paper we need to say we're getting rid
of the DEI programs. But if we're putting the same

(12:53):
amount of money towards, you know, putting black and women
owned and having a diverse brandrepresentation on our shelves,
if everything else that was operating before is continuing
and in some ways they're even increasing funding for some of
these things, then what does it matter what it says on paper?
And that's what I want us to just at least think about.
So that's my little spiel on that.

(13:15):
And the Grammys happened this weekend and Beyoncé Giselle
Carter finally got her album of the year.
I just think, like, her relationship with her daughter
is just so beautiful. You can just tell there's like a
friendship, like almost there, you know?
And as somebody that has a daughter that's around the same
age, I can totally understand, like be that closeness there.

(13:37):
And it's just a beautiful thing to see that.
It was almost like, you know, she was parenting her mom for
the night. I don't know.
Beyoncé was just, I guess, filled with emotion.
She probably couldn't believe it.
And isn't that how life works? I think I said it like earlier
in the year, last year when we first started the podcast, that
when she gets to a point where she doesn't care about it
anymore or she doesn't care to win or doesn't care, like,

(13:58):
that's probably when it will happen for her.
And I think, yeah, when you had that place of just, I just want
to make good work. And like she did with this
album, it's not lost on me that it's probably her most
collaborative album. Like they list the number of
people that were also going to get a Grammy because of her,
including her husband. So that was so incredible to see
like all these lists of people that were also going to receive

(14:19):
a Grammy because they were on her album.
So that's incredible. And I think the husband is going
to get one because he produced or something like that.
So it's just been beautiful. And I think like, for the album
that she gets, album of the year, probably her most
collaborative project, her most creative in a lot of ways.
The only other album that I feltlike was robbed was that

(14:39):
Lemonade, Man. Lemonade deserved it.
And I remember years ago, was itthe VMAs or was it the Grammys?
I think she was like at the timepregnant with Blue Ivy or
pregnant with the twins. And that Lady was balancing on
that chair. And that year, the way she did
that performance, she was like dressed like a goddess and
balancing on the the back leg ofthe chair.

(15:00):
After doing all that and they did not give that woman that
award. I said over the years, you can
tell like the emotions have always been there for her.
She tries to be, you know, classy because I always feel
like her alter ego comes out on stage.
But like Beyoncé the person, I feel like she's a very, very shy
and very private person. And when people don't understand
that, you might think, oh, this person's arrogant or they're

(15:20):
full of themselves, you know? And it's hard to see because
you're thinking like the personathat she puts on or whatever.
But I have a feeling like withinher, she probably is like a
little awkward in like being with people or around people.
And because of her persona that she puts on on stage, then it
creates this thing where there'sBeyoncé the woman on stage, and
then there's Beyoncé the person.And that's probably why she had

(15:44):
Sasha Fears back in the day, because she understood, like the
person I am on stage is so different from who I am in real
life. But I think from what I can see
from over the years, there's definitely like a shyness there.
And there's not as much of like that talkative.
Like, she seems like she's just more quiet and way reserved than
the person that she is when the lights come on and the fan gets

(16:05):
going. So I'm happy that she got her
album. And you know, when they say
everything happens at the right time again, the number of people
that got a Grammy yesterday for her winning that album lets you
know that it happened for her atthe right time.
But they do need to go back and give that Lady an award for that
Lemonade album. Yeah, she did that.
I am sorry. Yeah.
Yeah. That defined my millennial

(16:28):
generation. So I need y'all to do some
reparation Grammys, OK, Y'all need to give her some reparation
Grammys. For that we will not stand for
it. For me and my generation, what
it meant to us, We will not stand for it.
Kendrick Lamar won. Tamila de Speaking of temps,
there was a video, I think it was during Paris Fashion Week, I
want to say where like Anna Wintour met her and the way Anna

(16:51):
Wintour was staring at that girl, you can tell she had never
seen no booty like that. She was just like, ha, who all
of that, like she was just staring at her and I loved it.
I loved it. I was like, yes, Anna, the the
African woman, Do you see us? Do you see the fullness of what
we can bring to the table? And that is also fashion and

(17:12):
that is also beautiful and just not that one, you know, the
wafer thin that we have been fedsince the 90s.
Like, you know, that is fashion in its own right.
But that's not the only fashion.And I don't know what was going
through her head. She probably was like, is that
real? I have the cheap ma'am is
brought to you by fufu. It's brought to you by pounded
yam. It's brought to you by spinach.

(17:36):
It's brought it's brought to youby Jolo fries.
My dear, Get with the program. Get around some Africans, Miss
Wintour, and you'll find out. I just loved that video when I
saw it. I was dying.
She didn't know what hit her. Like, she was just staring at
this girl, like, like, oh, the Thames effect.
There you go. So she got her Grammy since I

(17:58):
got a gram. I mean, at this point, was she
not? Of course she is.
Like, So since I got a Grammy, too, Kendrick obviously was
sweeping. I think Kendrick actually ended
up with more Grammys in the night than Beyoncé did.
Yeah, I saw his acceptance speech as well, but let's see
who else I'm trying to think of at the top of my head.
But Essence had done this littlespread, and I just loved it of

(18:19):
everybody that won. And it was a very, very good
night for our black and brown brothers and sisters.
And I'm like, yes, yes, yes. You know, because over the
years, we've talked about how, you know, the Grammys will use
them for ratings. So like I was saying, they have
Beyoncé balancing on the back ofher chair while she was pregnant
with her child. So use them for ratings, but

(18:40):
then not give them no awards. But then you want them to
perform, you want them to show up, you want them to, you know,
help bring you guys ratings, butthen will not award them for
their contributions in music. Let's stop playing.
So I'm very happy. I've seen a lot of reactions of
just people just saying finally,like it doesn't mean every year
only black artists should win. But like, let's just support
good music and let it not just be politics of who is the most

(19:02):
popular. And you know what, Miss Taylor
Swift, I have to give her her flowers because I feel like she
has, from what I saw, I would just say that from what I saw,
just her genuine spirits of, youknow, even presenting the award
to Beyoncé and everything else. I feel like she gets it because
you like, I feel like Miley getsit.
I feel like Billie Eilish gets it.
I'm like, OK, Taylor, I think you might get it too.

(19:22):
So kudos to her. I feel like she understands the
mission, you know, and that's the thing like sometimes
understanding that supporting just excellence and best in
everybody. It doesn't mean so like this,
this frightful place that that sometimes like we find ourselves
currently in this country, this frightful place of thinking that
when we include everybody and wegive people their kudos and we

(19:44):
don't do oppressive things because sometimes the people who
are doing the oppression think, OK, well, if these people have a
chance, they might turn around and oppress us.
Not true. If you actually do the things
the right way, you know, go after the right issues, when one
person is free, everybody is free.
So when you're doing the right things, like in this case of the
Grammys now, supporting the artist that actually did well,
like giving them their flowers when they deserve it, it's going

(20:07):
to be good for music all around.It's not just going to be that.
It's only going to be black artists that are going to
thrive. Everybody is going to thrive.
That's the beauty. Of it and I wish more people got
it and once you understand that when you think like Oh well, if
they have it then that means I'mnot going to get it.
It's a place of fear. It's just your fear speaking up
and it's actually your body kindof like letting you know that
what was being done before was so foul and so wrong because

(20:29):
that's where the fear is coming from.
But it's amazing how sometimes if somebody has healed, if
somebody has worked through stuff, even if you feel like Oh
well when they get a chance they're going to do to me the
same thing I did to them. You'll be surprised.
So just be a good human being. Just support people when they
need it. Stand for the truth when it's in
front of you. And it will be for your
betterment, too, as it is for the betterment of those who

(20:50):
you're trying to give voices to.So that's all I got to say
there. And so with Miss Taylor Swift,
you know, I'm watching you, girl.
I see you. I see you.
And she'll look a little thick, too.
And the little red dress she hadon, I say, OK, hips come through
hips, OK. She had a little slit.
And the dress one was up on, youknow, I said, OK, Taylor,
because I had seen, like, clips from when she's on tour and, you

(21:12):
know, she came from, like, the country roots.
So like, seeing her kind of like, glam and that red dress, I
said, OK, you know, But she still stayed true to herself
because she gonna have a bang. She know she gonna have a bang.
She gonna have the bang. So that's always going to be
part of Taylor's look. OK.
So it was a good show. I did not watch the whole show.
I watched clips. Gochi's performance, Girl, that

(21:34):
was me dropping my pen. Get out of town.
You better get out of town, girl.
I mean, from when I discovered her last year, just the cadence
of her rap, like it's just reminiscent of just what it used
to be. You can tell this is a person
that has studied the craft of what she's doing.
And it's like, it shows. It's like you, you can't go out

(21:54):
here and say you want to be ACEOof a company, but you never went
to school, you never got an MBA.What are we talking about?
And it's the same thing. Like, you know, I think
sometimes with this young generation, when they're trying
to do things creatively, some people go through it in that
like, nonchalant, nilly Willy way.
And I think for Dochi, what stands out is that you will
achieve greatness when you take your craft seriously.

(22:16):
She keeps talking time and time again about how sobriety is
really what has brought her to this point.
Like when she decided I'm going to be sober and she's writing
and making this music without, you know, alcohol and all these
things and look at what it has brought for her.
So when you take your craft seriously, you know, I try to
get this message out to the young people all the time.
The creativity is important. It's there, your talent, nobody

(22:37):
can deny it. But really, time and time again,
it's the work ethic is the ability to show up kind of like
what I'm doing right now, Like Ihad to learn, you know, through
my mistakes, you know, before I got to this point.
But it's like that you show up and you just do the best you can
and you just keep putting out. And that is when one day you're
going to see a result. So it's the same thing.

(22:58):
Because then I saw there was a video circulating of her just
losing her job. I think it was like in 2020 or
2022. So it wasn't too long ago, like
she got fired. And in the video she's like,
well, I'm just going to show up to the studios and, you know,
take my shot and see if anybody can give me a chance.
So it's that you know, the grind, studying your craft and
refining it. Even for me, I feel like I've
gone through that. Like I think about when I first

(23:20):
started out just doing creative things.
The person I was then and the person I am today is totally
different. I feel like the woman I am
today, I will be able to handle any kind of like growth or
success that comes my way much better than the woman that I was
then. So I saw that to say you can
learn that from Doji's story, like that process of refinement.
Because even when I would look at like the old videos of her

(23:41):
and the person I see now, it's like night and day.
Like even body wise you can tellshe's taking care of herself.
Like health wise she just looks better.
You know, like she said, she's not doing all this other extra
things anymore. Like you can just tell that
refining process for her has been fire and look at where it
has LED her. So for my young people out
there, study your craft, whatever it is they want to do.

(24:03):
If you say I want to build homes, know the history of
homes. Like when I ask you about what
kind of architecture is this, you should be able to tell me
this is baroque architecture. I don't know.
This is mid century modern. I'd I have no idea.
I'm making up stuff that I've heard throughout the years.
This is provincial French architecture.
Like this is African Timbuktu architect.
Like, there should be nothing I should bring up to you.

(24:24):
They'd be like, yeah, girl, thisis what it is.
And then your creativity comes and it shines through.
And then you add what you need to add.
But I think sometimes with youth, you are so quick to
discard that which is there, andyou just think, well, I just
want to change. You cannot change that which you
don't study. So to my young people, study
your craft. Harness it, own it, live it,

(24:46):
breathe it. And then once you have done
that, then you can say, what do I add to it?
Because that's all it is. Everybody comes through during
their time and adds to it. When Michael Jackson came
through, you'd never seen a stage presence like that.
But ever since him, anybody elsewho you know for stage presence
had to bring it just as hard as he did.
So when you think of like a Beyoncé or Chris Brown, those

(25:07):
people are a product of what Michael Jackson had done.
So that's the whole point. Like you come in, you just good
at your craft, and then you think, what can I add to what
already exists? So that's my little advice to
any young person listening to me.
You got this. You can do it, but just own it.
Be the best and go through that process of refining constantly

(25:29):
just reaching for your higher self and your better self.
And I promise you, once you havestudied your craft and you know
it left and right, front and sent and nobody can question
about you are you are PP. Those are shots by the way,
because you're so good at it. Now you're just, like, just
assassinating everything that comes your way.
Once you're able to do that, theworld is yours.

(25:50):
Like you've gone through refinement.
You've mastered your craft. Success can only come, right.
Even for me. Like, that's where I feel like I
am now. I feel like I have a lot of
things going for me. And it's like something's going
to pan out. I know it is.
And it's only a matter of time. And it's just me putting in the
work and keep showing up. And, you know, I'm open to
whatever life brings, but I knowlife is going to bring

(26:11):
something. OK.
And I'm going to collect. Hello.
So last week we were talking about having the energy for the
fights that matter the most, andI told you guys that it was
going to be a Part 2. So that's where we're going to
be at today. So we left off last week talking
about, you know, protecting yourpeace, controlling anger, you

(26:31):
know, some of those other thingslike being honest with yourself,
you know, because we're talking about fighting those battles,
fighting the battles that are closest to you.
And sometimes if you spend all your time in those battles, then
you don't have the energy and the strength to fight the ones
that matter the most. So fight the most important
ones. So these episodes were just to
kind of give you tips on how to ignore the petty, let go of the

(26:53):
petty so that you can actually handle that which you were put
on this earth too, so you can reach your purpose, so you can
have the strength for the races that matter the most.
The next topic I was going to bring up was peace, like having
peace in this time that we're in.
And I think with this topic, it's so important to remember
the effect that peace can have in life.

(27:15):
You know, when I was younger, when I imagined life, I'm like,
OK, I want to have a home like this.
I want to drive a car like this.I want to have a career like
this. You know, I want to have a high
rise apartment like this and be able to travel to this place in
that place. And then now like I'm at the
place where it's like, I just want peace.
Like everything else is added bonus, but I want to be able to
come home, relax in my home because my home is a place of

(27:37):
peace for me. I want to be able to appreciate
the time I have with my family because there's peace there,
there's love there, there's joy there.
And it doesn't mean that we won't have hiccups.
It doesn't mean that, you know, chaos won't come every now and
then. But understand that the core of
it, like I'm going to have peace.
And then it took years for me toeven understand that peace is
something that I actively have to create.

(27:58):
So that's what I'm starting off today.
You know, we talk about protecting your peace, but I
don't think some of us understand that you also
actively have to create it because it's such like a Zen
thing that you think it just happens to you.
But if you have never practiced in the little ways on how to
create peace, I'm going to get you there today.
OK, So we talked about anger last time.
That's where we left off, assessing things and making sure

(28:20):
that you understand. OK, Right now I need to step
away. At least if I don't step away,
anger always leads to destruction.
Anger always leads to decisions that are made that sometimes you
cannot come back from. So whenever a situation gets you
like that and might be with people closest to you, people
that look like you, people from your community, people from
whatever, understanding that, OK, let me step back.
I'd rather step back, keep quiet, evaluate things, work

(28:43):
through my feelings before I open my mouth and say things
that I'm going to regret. So when it comes to peace, I
just want you to just imagine like a ripple effect that it
has, like in your home, for example, when you are like the
parent that tries to be like peaceful with your kids, try to
have a home of just peace and quiet.
How that affects your children, how it affects how your day

(29:03):
goes, what a difference it makes.
And for me, I know I've seen a difference when I try to be more
intentional about it, when I tryto be more aware.
I've been in places where it's like I'm yelling and I'm
screaming and I'm doing and the family's energy kind of went off
of my energy. And then I'm wondering why is
like everything such a struggle?And I'm just like, Oh my gosh,

(29:23):
that's what I'm saying about youactively creating the peace.
Like, OK, this is my environment.
This is what I like for it to look like, smell like, be like.
But then I understand that, you know, I live with human beings
who are not perfect, and it's never going to be perfect 24/7.
But what are the things that I can have in place?
And how do I give them grace? And how do I still function even
when there is not perfection? Like, I always want to have?

(29:45):
Like, yeah. And that took me years to get to
that point. So effective communication is
always important when you're trying to have peace with family
or people closest to you. One of the things I learned in
therapy is always using the I I because you always want to make
sure that you're not saying, well, you did this to me and you
that was done like right. So whenever you're
communicating, they always say, I feel, I know from my

(30:09):
perspective, I felt when you said that it was from this place
and it made me feel some kind ofway.
I saw this and it triggered me into doing blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah. From that standpoint, sometimes
that little act helps to, like, make the conversation less tense
because it's like, OK, well, that is your perspective.
And then when somebody is matureenough, they're going to be

(30:30):
like, well, you have the right to feel the way you feel.
You have the right to feel that.You have the right to say how
you feel. You have the right to express
that. And I have to take that and say
that is your perspective, that is how you feel.
I cannot rob you of that. So already a much different
conversation that while you had done this and blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go from like accusatory tones tousing I when you're

(30:53):
communicating, that's a way to have peace.
Learning how to say no. That one has been tough, right?
Because for some of us, especially like given our
culture, like the African culture that we come from, it's
very hard for us to say no to elder.
It's very hard for us to say no to certain things.
Like we come from a place where it's like a communal thing is
like putting yourself in spaces,putting yourself in things,
committing yourself to stuff. And I had to learn that the hard

(31:16):
way. I cannot be everything to
everybody at the same time. It's not going to happen.
You know, Miss Oprah Winfrey said it best.
She said you can have it all, but not at the same time.
So I had to learn a very long time ago.
Part of me having peace is beingOK with the fact that I cannot
go to that party. I cannot be at that event.
I might not be able to do this. I might not be able to do that.

(31:37):
I have to let go of this and I have to let go of that.
So part of me establishing boundaries is part of me being
able to say no and being OK withsaying no.
So that means I'm not going to be at everything.
I'm not going to be at the center of everything going on.
Sometimes I don't even want to know.
I don't want to know what's happening over there.
If somebody calls me into it, okay, if you say, you know,
Tony, I just need somebody to talk to, to pray with me, to do

(31:59):
they, yeah, we're going to do it.
But you start acting some kind of so saying no, and it takes
practice and it takes a lot of undoing because there are things
that we have collected throughout our childhood,
throughout existing, especially like I said in our African
cultures, that when you are selfless 24/7, that's when you

(32:20):
are quote UN quote, a good person.
But guess what? You are tired.
You're exhausted. Sometimes when you step back and
you decide, you know what, I don't want to be at the center
of this. I just want to be observant.
I just want to be a participant.You'll be amazed at how other
people will step up and do that which you thought all the time,
like you had to be the one to doit.

(32:40):
You don't have to cook every holiday dinner.
I've been there, done that, where I'm waking up in the big
enough of the day and cooking every Dang thing.
And then I'm pissed off that I'mcooking every Dang thing.
And then I got to the place where it's like it's a
collaborative effort and people stepped up.
People made recipes we had neverhad before, and it turned out
great. So understanding that creating
those boundaries, saying no, sometimes it allows other people

(33:02):
to step up and it's a much better experience when everybody
is able to be given the chance to do their part.
So let go Big Mama, let it go. Learn to say no, learn to be
able to miss out on things. Learn that not everything is for
you and be OK in it. OK letting go of grudges to and

(33:22):
trivial arguments. This one is always interesting
because I think when you have boundaries, at least I'll speak
for myself. You can forgive, but because you
have established boundaries, you're not going back to that
same thing. But again, it's a programming
that we have been done where it's almost like because I say
I'm Christian and I say I'm going to forgive you, that means
I need to keep exposing myself to the same thing over and over

(33:44):
with you. Because if I don't, that means
I've not forgiven you. No, honey, that's just
stupidity. There's no other way for me to
say to you, that's just stupidity, OK?
Insanity. What is the definition of
insanity? Doing the same thing over and
over and expecting different results.
I can forgive you. I cannot hold a place of grudge.
Like when I think of you, there's no hate there.
There's no resentment there. However, I can have boundaries

(34:04):
in place where I say I'm not doing that with you no more and
stand on that. And me standing on those
boundaries does not mean that I'm over here in grudge and like
bad emotions for you. No, no, no, no, no, I have no
negative emotions, but it just means that now I have assessed
the situation, I have assessed what I need to do, so I've
created these boundaries in place so the two are not
synonymous. Don't hold on to any grudges,

(34:26):
don't hold on to any of the trivial stuff.
That's how you have peace. And like people say time and
time again, you letting go of those things, it's more for you.
You just unburden yourself. You leave room to actually reach
the things that you want to reach because that's the whole
point of this episode, these last two episode of what we're
talking about is that all these little, little things that
prevent you from going and fighting the real fight that

(34:48):
needs to be there. So obviously, we cannot change
people. We cannot change those outside
of ourselves. We can only change ourselves and
how we show up and how we do certain things, right.
And so like I said earlier, thatripple effect of how peace then
shows up, for example, like in your home, like once you are in
that place of peace and you are modeling peace, then it will

(35:09):
permeate throughout your home because your kids will see like
you're more at ease. OK, Mommy's common these days.
She's not yelling as much. You know, you talk to them in a
way that they can understand. You're patient with them.
When you explain something, you might explain it again 54 times.
But again, like everything else in life, it takes practice.
And I have some great days and Ihave some days where I'm like,

(35:29):
OK, what time is it? It's almost midnight.
It's the next day. We're going to do this again
tomorrow, but you're going to have good days.
You're going have bad days, but you keep working at it.
So if you know that, okay, I'm the type of mother or parent or
whatever that I tend to get mad or I tend to get angry a lot,
okay, how am I going to work on my temper?
Make sure I'm not yelling at my kids 24/7 because who wants to
be raised in an environment where somebody is always

(35:50):
constantly yelling, but you haveto work at it.
And it's so crazy for me that for a portion of my life there,
especially young adulthood, I just thought peace was just
something that just came. And so when I'm like, well, I
don't have peace like, So what is it about me?
And then I had to realize, girl,you had to create the peace.
Like it's not just manner that'sfalling from heaven.
Yes, God said peace be on to you, but girl, you got to make

(36:12):
it OK. You got to actively create this
peace because he said peace be unto you.
But you're over here being the least peaceful person possible.
So what do you expect? Like so once I realized like you
work at it, the actions you take, the choices you make,
actively thinking about it, how do I want to be more Zen?
And then you'll be amazed like on all the things that might

(36:32):
come at you, but then how you'rejust like you stand still, like
you're able to withstand it. That's because you have a peace
within you that is unshakable that nobody can take and that
takes years of cultivation, thattakes years of you learning like
no matter what, this is mine andnot anybody else's.
Like when you own it, then you get to really resonate it.

(36:52):
Then it really gets to show up outside of you.
So once you decide that you're going to model piece, once you
decide that you're going to try to be the best spouse, that
other person has no choice but to follow suit.
Because when you decide that, OK, this is what I'm going for,
this is what I'm going after, itaffects everybody around you.
So when you decide I'm going to operate from a higher vibration,
OK, everybody's going to have tomeet you up at that.

(37:13):
That's how life works and that'salways the most effective.
So obviously we're getting towards the end because it was a
two-part series and I promised that I was going to finish it
today. So these are my suggestions,
right? These are actionable points for
myself and these are actionable points for you.
Nobody is better than anybody here.
We're all a work in progress. So starting your day grounded.

(37:34):
One thing I've been doing is with my planner, I have Bible
study listed every single day. I've done a good job for most
days where I'm showing up this new year like reading my Bible
because I wanted it to be a habit that I started and it was
just becomes like second nature.But I realized like, that's part
of me grounding myself and that's part of like my routine.
Obviously it's difficult, like when I'm working and then I work

(37:55):
nights. So my stuff is always like
flipped. But figure out something that
works for you like that you can do in the morning.
And I think, you know, devotion first thing when you wake up.
You know, I used to be first thing when I wake up, I'm on my
phone and I'm slowly working away from that where it's like,
first I get up and I get into the word of God and then I'll
look at my planner and be like, OK, what do I have to do today?

(38:16):
And then I might get on social media, but it's not the first
thing I'm doing. And that took a while for me to
get there, right? So starting your day like just
grounded. So you might pray, journal, like
I'm saying, you maybe look at your planner to see how's my day
going to go. But I think that having that
spiritual aspect, it's a beautiful, beautiful way to
start your day. And it just helps to just ground

(38:37):
you If you don't feel like talking, if you're not a talking
person in the morning, sometimesmaybe just even putting on like
gospel music, that might be a time like maybe you start each
day with like worship music justto kind of center yourself
because the day is going to comeat you.
That was something I used to do a lot when I was in nursing
school. Even some of my nursing friends
used to say that about me. Like every time we get in your
car, it's gossip music. I'm my girl because I'm praying

(38:57):
on my way to school. I'm praying on my way to this
program because I'm like, God, Ineed to pass these classes.
I need to be a nurse. I've wanted to do this for so
long. Yeah, I always had my little
gospel songs on because I'm likeon that drive there.
Bless me, Lord, as I'm going. So you figure out how you're
going to be grounded in your mornings and then try to be
consistent with it every day. And I recently learned sometimes

(39:19):
it's good to have your morning routine.
That's great, but have modified versions of it.
So you might have like 3 versions of your morning routine
and then they change base of of like how your day is showing up.
Because let's be honest, especially like with kids or
just life in general, you might have a plan of, OK, I wake up at
this time, I do this, I will do that, but it might not pan out
every day. But at least when you have those
three different versions, you feel like you're still going to

(39:40):
hit some kind of routine regardless of what's going on.
You have the one that's like more detailed and long like the
ideal one. Then you can have one that's
like intermediate, OK, what are the maybe one or two things I
can do out of my ideal, but I won't be able to do all.
And then you have the bare minimum one.
That one is the one when you were supposed to wake up at
6:00, but you're behind, but still in that bed to seven.
You ain't got time to be doing now one hour of prayer.

(40:02):
Like you're going to do 5 minuteprayer and you have to get going
with your day. So having multiple versions of
what your morning routine looks like.
So that way you don't give up and say, oh man, I've not been
able to do my morning routine for like weeks on end.
OK, I'm doing the modified version for this while.
And when I'm able to have more time or I get back into a place
where I can better handle everything I have on my plate,
then I'll. I'll do the extended version,

(40:24):
genius. Blew my mind.
Okay, so I had to share that one.
The first point is for you to begrounded.
Your second point is pausing before you react.
Because remember what I said, Anger just leads to so many,
many nonsense, complete nonsenseand rubbish.
It just brings all type of rubbish, nonsense into your
life. So I'm going to challenge you to

(40:44):
take your time, pause before youreact to things.
Take your time to just, but OK, let me just kind of mellow.
Let me kind of sit with this. Let me marinate with it.
Let me have conversations with myself before I come to people.
So by that time I've like come down a couple notches and
everybody around you will benefit from it better and your
life will be much more peaceful because then you're not coming
back and apologizing for things that you said in the middle of a

(41:07):
rage and nobody got time and nobody got time.
Now you're doing better. OK.
And remember, healthy boundaries.
So I'm challenging you to establish a healthy boundaries
that are going to foster respectand peace in your life, teach
people how to treat you. So when you say no, you actually
have to mean no. You actually have to follow
through with it. And then you know, when you set
those boundaries, the boundariesare there to give you peace.

(41:29):
And that is the ultimate goal isfor you to be at peace.
The next one, you need to ask for help.
You need to seek support when you need it.
A lot of times when we have those conflicts and fights with
those closest to us, sometimes it's like a reflection of just
us having just too much chaos, too much madness going on that
we don't have under control. There's chaos that comes with

(41:51):
your children being young or youknow, you've been in a certain
stage of life. There's that one, but as long as
you recognize it, you're found out ways how to work around it,
it's under control. Then there's the chaos that is
like your life is just all over the place.
Like you're just any which way I've just been thrown.
And again, like everything else,it takes practice, but part of
it is knowing your limitations. So seek help when you need it.

(42:14):
You know, you'll be amazed. All you have to do sometimes is
ask and then people will show upfor you.
So I ask you, even if you feel like I can handle it all, I
don't need help. Seek for help.
The importance of you going in therapy.
You know, it's always important for us to understand.
Like you can have faith and still have therapy.
Just like how you can be sick, pray to God, but still take your
medicine. Like the one does not negate the

(42:35):
other. So please, as people of faith,
we need to make sure that we aregetting therapy, we're getting
the healing we need. So in 2025, you can still talk
to your pastor, talk to somebodythat is like a spiritual leader
for you, but also go to therapy and then leaning on people that
you can trust. And like I said, that one takes
time for you to find those people that no matter what,
they're going to stay constant no matter what.

(42:56):
They have proven themselves to be that way.
And sometimes it takes years, and sometimes you are blessed to
have that in the form of like a close relative.
And sometimes it's somebody you've grown up with forever.
But we all need somebody at somepoint in our life.
We got to lean, you know, we allgot to be Leaning Tower Pisa at
some point. So you got to lean on somebody.
It doesn't have to be extravagant.

(43:17):
It doesn't have to be. You know, you might have one
good friend that's better than none.
But understanding that in this world, we don't exist by
ourselves. And that was one of my big
takeaways last year. I finally just realized because
we were having this conversationwith a friend of ours and he was
just like asking like, well, whydo these things happen and why
do people do? I said, because we're all
interconnected. So when somebody is making a bad

(43:39):
choice or making a bad decision,their bad decision has effects
on people that are close to themand people that are even far
removed from them. And if more of us were aware of
that interconnectedness and whenwe're making decisions, I think
we'll make better decisions because, you know, like my one
action can disrupt the life of this person, this person and
this person. So that interconnectedness, I

(44:00):
want us to get back to it because I think COVID when we
were kind of distance from each other and then we got dependent
on using social media as a way of connecting, that we have kind
of lost the art of truly connecting with people.
And I'm seeing that movement of us kind of going back to that,
like with actual people, creating moments with them, you
know, showing up for special occasions, being there.

(44:21):
And it's only going to get better.
Like once we realize like we're all connected, we all need each
other, everybody's going througha hard time, but it's so much
better when you're able to go through it and say, OK, I have
somebody I can count on. And remember, you have to be
what you want to see. So you have to be supportive.
You have to call people, you have to check on them, and then
they will do the same for you. And then the last one.

(44:42):
So these are 5 actions that I'vegiven you.
Keep the big picture in mind. So like in the case of Aliko
Dangote that started all this conversation, his main goal is
to have a refinery. That's the first of his kind in
Africa, in Nigeria, the most populous country on the
continent. So his main goal, when you look
at the big picture, yes, he has to fight with his country,

(45:05):
people, he has to do this and that.
But as long as he's always keeping in mind, OK, this is
what I'm trying to achieve and I'm trying to create a legacy
that will live far greater than me.
And you always focus on that. It helps you to position the
riffraff and the nonsense when it's coming because you're like,
OK, this is not aligning with what I'm trying to do right now.
So yeah, I got to let that go. OK, You keep doing what you're
doing over there. I'm going to step over here.

(45:26):
But keeping in mind that big picture, that big goal, the why,
knowing your why, and then always keeping that in mind,
that will help you to weed out the things that are
distractions, the things that are there to take you off course
and help you put your energy in the right places, in the most
impactful places that it needs to be.
So stay aligned with your goals,stay aligned with your purpose.

(45:47):
Always come back to those things, you know, throughout the
year. You know, you start out the year
so intentional. This is what I want to achieve.
Do a monthly check in. What am I doing this month to
achieve that big goal? What am I doing today?
And then, you know, you take it now on a daily basis, a monthly
basis, weekly, then daily. So understanding, like always
keeping that big picture in mindhelps you know when to let the

(46:08):
petty things go and when to focus on the big things.
And that's what we're hoping foris that you have the energy and
the strength to go after the bigthings, the things that are
going to impact your life and shake things and move things and
take you to the next level and the next level and the next
level. So keep your big picture in mind
and ask yourself, always remember, is this a constructive

(46:29):
conflict? Is this a conflict that's going
to lead me to better? Or is it a conflict that's going
to bring me down and lead to a distraction?
That's it. So I am leaving you guys with
this. Choose your battles wisely.
Protect your peace at home, Protect your peace at work.
Protect your peace with friends,Protect your peace with family.
Protect your peace with countrymen.

(46:49):
Protect your peace with everybody.
Focus on the big picture, focus on your goals.
Focus on what you're trying to do.
We all have a purpose. So that's my challenge to you is
protect your peace. How are you showing up in the
world? Let go of anger, let go of
resentment, let go of all those things and you will get there.
It will be one step at a time. It will be challenging,

(47:12):
especially when you have to go through the process of
refinement. I'm telling you, it is not a
pretty sight, but stick to the program like you will make it to
the other side and you will be achanged person for it.
And you will look back and be like, man, I used to get so
angry. I used to get so mad.
I used to be so focused on all these little things.
I was stressed out. And then you'd be like, man, I
have peace. It's so quiet.

(47:32):
My life is just mellow right now.
I'm not stressed, you know, use your ashwagandha when you need
to. I'm putting you on.
So I work as a night shift nurse, obviously, and sometimes
night shift has like messed up my sleeping schedule.
But I tell you, if I take my ashwagandha and I like to do the
drops, I know now they have the gummies.

(47:53):
So really, if you're going to doit and do whatever works for
you, but I like to take the drops.
It's bitter. It tastes like native African
medicine, I'm not going to lie to you.
Like medicine that somebody put together on the side of the
road. But yeah, you take those drops
and you sleep. And it's a adapt to no gin.
So it just helps to, like, calm you down, kind of de stress you.

(48:13):
And I promise you, the sleep I get when I take Ashwagandha is
unrivaled to anything else. Like I will sleep for the same
amount of time, but it will be so much more restful.
I wake up so much more refreshedbecause I think it just helps to
just mellow me out. So my rest is actually peaceful.
Rest, good rest. You know the kind.
Like you could sleep for six hours, but if you were restless

(48:35):
the whole time you wake up and it's almost like you only slept
for three. Ashrawagandha will help you out,
especially for those of us who maybe we don't have such a long
time to sleep. Like I'm so jealous of the
people that like, I slept for 10hours, I slept for 12.
I'm like, girl, I'll be lucky ifI get 5.
OK. After 5, my body's like wake up,
let's go. I'm like, no, but ashwagandha,

(48:57):
if you have never heard of it, go look it up, OK?
You will see the night and day. And I think it's one of those
like lifestyle things that will help with place of just calmness
and giving you the Zen in your life so you can focus on the
things that you need to. That's a supplement that will
help you out greatly. So I recommend it because I use
it. And maybe, who knows, after more
people are listening to my podcast, maybe there'll be a

(49:18):
company out there that will sponsor.
Please, though, I'm looking for sponsors.
I'm putting it out there. Everything I want in this year,
I'm calling it. I'm not closing my mouth.
I'm looking for sponsors for my podcast.
So if you have a product, you have a business, you have
anything that you want me to come on here and promote and you
are willing to compensate me handsomely, Let's talk.
OK, So let me know what you think.

(49:39):
Let me know what has resonated with you.
I hope you enjoyed this Part 2. I hope you enjoyed this episode.
I'm going to leave you with our song choices of the week and
with the book. The crazy thing is right now I'm
actually reading like 3 books. It's crazy.
So maybe I'll share all three ofthem with you and then that will
kind of get you. So my therapist had wanted me to
read this one for the longest time and I started it.

(50:01):
It's called Self Compassion and the Proven Power of being kind
to yourself. And it's written by Kristin
Neff. So Kristin Neff Neff.
So I've been reading that one because my therapist recommended
it to me. And so far I've been liking it.
When I listen to certain audiobooks, especially like this
one, it's like a 1.5 speed because the narrative was kind

(50:23):
of speaking so slow on my girl. Speed it up girl, let's go.
So that's one that I'm reading. I'm still reading The Secret
Lives of Baba Shaggy's Wives. That's my novel fiction.
And I still have like 7 hours togo on that one.
And then the other one that I'm reading is this one called the
Pivot Year. So it's like a 365 days kind of

(50:45):
like thing. So I try to listen to the one
excerpt for each day. I hope that makes sense.
So it'll be like day one, day 2,day three, day 24, day 25.
So then I go based off of that and I'm like, OK, this is the
one I'm listening to today. And I just listen to just that
one little snippet and then I'llsave the next one for the next
day. So those are the three.
The pivot year is going to be something I'm reading all year
long because I just read 1 little excerpt a day and whereas

(51:07):
the other two are current books that I'm reading right now.
And once I'm done with them, I'll move on to the next.
But you know, I'll give you suggestions, but you don't have
to do them. But it would, it would be nice
to, you know, read along with me.
But really it's just for you to just get in that habit of just
like reading, reading does something for us.
It's a way of us, you know, learning.
Like learning is not just sitting in a classroom, but you

(51:28):
gain so much knowledge and you know, just me getting back into
reading over the last two years,I have seen the effects of it in
my life from night and day. So I encourage you, whatever
sparks your joy, you know, it doesn't have to be self help
books. You might start off just reading
novels at first and then slowly you get into the self help
books. Or maybe you like to read
science fiction, you know, whatever it is like find your

(51:51):
niche of books that you like to read, but just get into the
habit of reading. It does something great for you.
For music, where are we at? I am liking the Skepta.
OK, first of Skepta is like one of my favorite grime rappers of
all time. So there was a picture going
around last week where it was Skepta and Mufasa.

(52:11):
What's his name? Aaron Pierre.
I think that's the correct way of saying his name.
Mr. Green Eyes. It was so funny because like, in
the video, it was this older lady that was like the daughter
was showing her the videos of both of them.
And she had already rated Aaron Pierre, like, to be like A9 or
A10. And then they showed her the
picture of Skepta and Aaron Pierre together.
And she was like, you know, thatnumber I gave to the other guy.

(52:32):
Let's take it back because this one.
Yeah. And she was talking about
Skepta. She's like, OK, yeah, he's a 10.
That all the guy is like A8. But I've seen somebody, like,
comments of people like, OK, this is the only person that
could make Aaron Pierre be like,less than a 10.
So Skepta, I mean, it's just theway he has always rapped.
I mean, I remember back in the day from there's too many men,
too many, many men. I'm dating myself here.

(52:54):
But that was like the beginning of grime music.
OK, We need small girls in here.We need small girls in here.
There's too many men, too many, many men.
Hey, that's how long I've been listening to Skepta.
OK, So if you don't know who he is, check him out.
He's a great artist. He's had lots of hits.
So 10 with Central C featuring Skepta.
He's like, yeah, it was something, something girl said
something. And I don't fold or bend.

(53:15):
Like he's just clever with the words, you know, he's just, he's
just look at him. OK, Skept we got you and you
know, Central C, I've been like a lot of his songs.
I'm not going to lie. He brings it, he brings it.
I'm actually very happy for how far the UK grime genre has come
because I feel like I was listening to it back in like the
beginning of it kind of taken off and it's been incredible

(53:38):
over the years. I've always supported the
movement. I've always supported the music.
I remember back in the day, likepeople were just used to think
it was so weird hearing them rapand have their accent, but I'm
like, that's what makes it, you know them and it's beautiful.
I like it. And they now have like a
distinct sound of their own thattook years of like making it
into what it is today. So I am always going to be a

(54:01):
supporter of the grime music. OK, so it is Central C featuring
Skepta 1010. It's a 10.
And then for my gospel selectionof the week, let's see where I'm
at. I really need to work on my
gospel playlist now because I have like a lot of my songs from
last year and I need to start updating it.

(54:21):
But this one actually, I'm goingto do Yahweh, Yahweh, All
Nations Music featuring Matthew Stevenson and Chandler Moore,
and it's a beautiful worship song.
I guess I've been doing a lot ofworship music lately.
It hasn't been intentional, but that just should tell you like
what place I'm in. Maybe it's me kind of like
easing into the new year, but a lot of worship music lately.

(54:43):
But this was a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful song and it
definitely puts you into that worship mode.
So I hope you guys have a wonderful week.
Maybe go out there and conquer it.
And even if it doesn't pan out how we wanted to, we'll get up
the next. We can try again because that's
what we're going to do. That you will leave the battles,
the petty ones, and go for the big goals that you're trying to
achieve. And you'll keep working that

(55:05):
muscle until you get it. And we're all doing it together
because I'm working on it too. OK, so we are praying this week
for us to be able to have the ability to know what battles to
fight and what battles to leave alone.
And I will see you guys on the next one.
You guys have a wonderful, wonderful, blessed week.
All right now, bye bye. You just finished an episode of

(55:28):
Banta with Tony. Did you like it?
I hope you had a great time and that you have some takeaways
from this episode. But before you go, I want to ask
you one thing and that is to share this episode or this
entire podcast with a friend, family member or acquaintance.
Because remember, when you have something good, you need to talk
about it, you need to share it, and you need to shout it from

(55:49):
the rooftops. So go on and let people know in
your life that you have this wonderful podcast that you would
like to share with them. I appreciate you.
I appreciate your time, your support and everything else in
between. And remember, if you do it, I
have to talk about it. Have a great week.