Journeying Through

Ep.15: Journeying Through

In this episode of Banta with Toni and Mimi, Mimi delves deeper into her beliefs and understanding of religion, drawing parallels and discussing her reasons for abstaining from prayer or religious texts. They engage in a thought-provoking discussion on the similarities between religions and the personal interpretations that shape individual faith

The duo then shifts gears to dissect the latest happenings in pop culture, including Bobrisky's arrest, standout Coachella performances, and the innovative marketing strategies behind Rihanna's Fenty Beauty line's latest release.

And as always, they wrap up the show with their top picks for songs of the week, offering listeners the perfect soundtrack to accompany them through the hustle and bustle of life.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Banta with Tony and Mimi. A cross generational
conversation between a millennial.
The politicians have not stolen enough to show the youth that
the fraud exists. It is more brisket as the one.
Yeah, OK, OK, I get it. Hilarity.
The hilariousity all has to be anagenzier just because
somebody's older. You said that, Yes.
Well, that's another thing. I should probably keep track of

(00:21):
what I say. Words just fly out of my mouth.
Join us as it is bound to be exhilarating, exciting,
entertaining and healing. Welcome to another episode of
Banta with Tony. And Mimi.
Hello. Hello.
Hello. How are you?

(00:41):
I'm doing good. How are you?
I'm good, I guess. Ohh, I guess.
What's there? I guess.
What do we need to unpack today?We always unpacking when do we
ever get to pack to travel? That's what I like.
Like, come on. We're always unpacking, but we
never travel anywhere. Clock it.
OK. All right.
I don't know. And I guess it kind of like
leads into like what we're goingto be talking about today.

(01:03):
But I've just been like going through a lot of things ever
since we fasted and actually from.
OK, OK. No, true.
So I'm just, I guess coming out on the other end of that.
So I'm still like that kind of feeling, but.
Like a man I. Keep moving.
Uh huh. I'm just meh, Really.
I'm just mehing around. Yeah.

(01:24):
I feel like, I don't know, like the beginning of Ramadan was
good for me. Like I always start things
really well and then like towards the end of it is where
the challenge comes for me. Obviously it was hard to like
physically, like to actually fast.
But I'm talking about like all the inner workings and
everything, like spiritually andemotionally.
It was like, it wasn't that hardat the beginning because I like
new things. I like to, like, kind of put

(01:46):
myself at the beginning of new experiences.
But then it's at the end of the experiences or during the middle
to kind of get through, like, it's just like to see it through
the end. Yeah.
And then we got to the end of Ramadan.
And I don't know what the heck. Like, I think I kind of
understand what you're saying. It's kind of like, Oh my gosh,
what the heck? It's like, meh.
I think I was hit with a lot of things.
Yes, it's so weird. Like in all of it.

(02:07):
But man, I went through the wringer.
I have to say that. So we recovering from that has
been taking time. So I've been patient with myself
as I'm going through all of that.
It's been tough, that's for sure.
Yeah, so that's that. But pop culture?
Oh, pop culture. Why do I forget we do that?
Yeah, you forgot today we are going to Nigeria.

(02:27):
OK. So I'm not sure if you're
familiar with Bob Riski. Do you know who Bob Riski?
Is the name. Is it the one who does the?
Yeah, he's a transgender comedian celebrity.
No, he's just like a what do youcall those online personalities?
So really, he captured the audiences stuff because he's
transgender. So he was sentenced to six

(02:48):
months in jail recently. Gosh.
Uh huh. What do you do for spraying
money at a party? Do you know what spraying money
is? Making it rain.
Yeah, something that every Nigerian invent you've been to.
It happens that. But man in a club does it, Man
or woman, actually, everybody does it.
In a club. It's normal.
So spraying money they charge him with.
I wish I could use the exact words if I looked up the story,

(03:11):
but it's pretty much saying he defaced the currency exactly.
I know. And I feel like some people just
felt like they had had enough ofhim and his antics because to be
honest, there was a time I used to follow his stuff and he's
hilarious, he's funny. But even I got to the point
where I was like, I'm just goingto be chilling a little bit on

(03:31):
his stuff because he would just put just too much outrageous
things out there. You know what I mean?
Yeah, like there's no Hap to like some of the crazy stuff he
will do. So I feel like the stuff with
the currency was just a way to get him in jail.
And they're hoping that it's kind of cruel in a way because
it's like embarrassing for him. I'm not speaking for him

(03:51):
personally, but I'm seeing from what I've heard so far because
like he was in jail and they asked him like, OK, are you a
male or female? And then he's like, I'm a male.
But there was a time when he hadbeen online talking about how he
is transitioned over to being a female.
So now it's not exactly. And then I come to find out, as
I was talking to some people because obviously I've never
been to Nigeria specifically, that before they send you off,

(04:13):
they actually have to, like, shave your private part thing.
Oh, that's. Yeah.
So that's like, I guess how theyknew that he's so hard.
Yeah. I'm like, why are we even?
Oh, that's like, I'm so disappointed.
It was unfair. I'm just so disappointed a
little bit because I think the sentiment I keep hearing is
that, oh, he is, you know, leading a lot of young people

(04:36):
astray with some other things that he's saying.
And I'm a mother on this end. So I can acknowledge that to a
certain degree that some of the things that he does, I just, you
know, like I said before, I usedto be entertained by him.
But then I got to the point where I'm just like, I'm just
not because of his outrageousness.
But at the same time, it almost feels like they're like, let's

(04:56):
make an example out of him, so nobody else will try to be out
there and try to do something similar to what he's doing.
And so that aspect I don't agreewith.
I am not part of the LGBTQIA community, so I have to be very
careful when I speak, especiallywhen I'm not part of a
community, right? But I think one of the things
that they will have to look within their community and try
to figure out what's the answer to it is that sometimes in their

(05:19):
quest for like acceptance, they go to a point sometimes like
where they push the button too much, like they go completely on
the other end. And if we're going to be fair,
even when people that don't belong to that community go to
the point where they push the button a little too much, we as
a collective, well, I should just speak for at least the
communities that I I'm part of and that I know we have a

(05:40):
problem with that as well because you're black.
Oh, my gosh. That person is just doing too
much. Or they're just being
outrageous. And I just wonder, just like
everything that they do. Like, for example, one of the
videos that he had posted that just made me just stop following
him was one day like, I guess lights had gone out or
something, which is typical for Africa, you know?
And he was like, oh, my boyfriend is over there in

(06:00):
Lecky. Lecky is like the rich part of
Lagos. So he's like my boyfriend is
over there in Lecky with his wife.
And they have light. And then me, I'm over here in my
own apartment, and I don't have light.
And I'm like, there's so much wrong with what you just had on
so many levels. Like, you are pretty much
admitting that you're somebody on the side, but you're also
like somebody on the side to somebody who's, like, leading a

(06:21):
double life, misleading their partner.
Oh, exactly. That's.
Was it a scare? Was he being serious?
But that's the thing with him. You never know what he's being
truthful with and with what he'sjust being outrageous with or
like he will get online and tellgirls, oh stop trying to fall in
love for love, just collect the money and do all the things that
you could like. So he just, his mere existence
is needed because it has to remind our African society that

(06:44):
there are people that belong to that group, that exists in our
communities and whether or not we choose to admit it or not, it
doesn't stop them from existing.They said from other reports
that I saw that there is possibly some like fraudulent
stuff going on, that she was involved in some fraud and
that's also the other part. But they couldn't get those
charges to stick so they went with the spraying money one.

(07:05):
That one can make sense, but that's the thing like, I don't
know now which report is true and which one is it?
Yeah. So there were just a bunch of
things up in the air, but it wasthe money.
Yeah, it's it. It was the money.
One that they were able to make stick.
Like, yeah, the thing with the fraud that he was a part of,
they couldn't get that to stick.Yeah.
So I really hope that, you know,obviously it's, it's still
terrible. If it's for the fraud thing and
they just couldn't get that to work, that's fine.

(07:27):
But if it's for something else and it could possibly be for the
fraud thing and then they're just like, well, kill two birds
with one stone. Either way he's going to be or
she's going to be gone for a while.
So I don't know. And trust me, I've tried to have
this conversation with very diverse group of Africans, young
and old. Obviously we already know where
a lot of the older community stands with some other stuff.

(07:47):
Traditional. Exactly.
And that's what I'm saying. Like, it's for them to figure
out, like when we are trying to gain acceptance or trying to
change how people perceive certain things, we also have to
be cognizant of like how far we push the like, you know what I
mean? Like, it's almost like maybe he
pushed things like so far that his message of what he was
trying to get across became lostin a lot of it.

(08:09):
Like because it just became likejust nonsense right in the in
between. Because like I was saying some
of the things that he ended up like trying to get people to do
or encourage or give advice and all this.
Like, no, bro, it's that's not it.
Like, and the message of inclusivity or, you know,
fighting for his rides or those things that could have gone so
much further if he hadn't done all this other extra stuff that

(08:32):
was. Yeah.
So I don't know. I don't know the full story.
And I'm not there in Nigeria every day to know, like how was
the media covering him? What were the effects?
Because I heard somebody say, oh, well, you don't know what
the effects are that he's havingon the youth.
Because when times are hard and the youth are not able to see,
you know a way for them forward,then they think that Oh well, I
can go and be like Bob Risky andyou know, and if it's.

(08:54):
Like what was he trying to? Well, this individual said is
the fraud thing, that if he's doing the fraud, then the youth
think that, oh, they can also goout and, you know, do those
fraudulent things to make money.I don't know how true that is,
but I'm like the politicians have not stolen enough to show
the youth that the fraud exists.It's Bob Brisket.
That's the one. He's the one I'm gonna get
blipped. All of that just hit, you know,

(09:14):
Okay, okay. I get it.
Hilarity, the hilarious city. The fall has to be.
Hilariousity. The hell you're.
I don't know if it's a word. I'm the hilarity.
There we go. I think that's a real word.
I don't know. Yeah, that's hilarious to me.
So that was just a story that I was just very surprised that I
didn't see more of it. Yeah, I'm like jail for six

(09:34):
months for spraying money. That's like.
Jail. I mean, go to any party here and
see if you don't see Nigerians spraying money like that's like
part of their birthright. What do you mean go to jail for
spraying money? It's in their bones.
If they got money and they go toa club, they finna be.
Especially especially when you have Excellency title.
How do you expect him to shop, to party and don't have bundles?

(09:54):
Oh, and don't start throwing. Stacks.
Yeah, they said. He was spraying it, but he
stepped on the money. So what was he supposed to do?
Step between the cracks with every bill on the floor?
Come on. Oh my gosh, that stuff is
hilarious. And we always must preface
things so this is just our opinion.
We don't want to be attacked by anybody.
Please, please. I don't.
But this day and age, people arecrazy out here.

(10:15):
That side of. I just, you know, when stuff is
fair, it's fair. When it's not, it's not.
And it's just very basic and we try to find ways to justify
things. But I mean, if y'all ain't got
the Kahunas to say it with your chest, if that is what you're
going after him for, then block it, Yeah.
But if you're going to come out here and use some bogus charge,
then you know. And again, if it's for fraud,

(10:37):
then come out and say that Be like he was being fraudulent
and, you know, but to hide behind this veil of because he
was spraying money, it was just rubbish.
And just like we talked about a couple weeks ago, I mean, why
are they not teaching the young people?
Like, you don't need to follow everybody.
Like I said before, like I stopped following him a while
ago, he's not your cup of tea. He's not your cup of tea.
Don't watch you're putting something out there.

(10:58):
And me and you were old enough or I've experienced things
enough that we know that there'sa difference between sometimes
what somebody portrays online and how they are in real life.
Sure. But not everybody knows that.
Sure. So when you're literally giving
advice to somebody, they might take that advice for like, Oh
yeah. They don't have that awareness
and can't separate like a media personality and someone's actual

(11:19):
self. Because at the end of the day,
we don't hang out with Bob Brisky all day every day to even
know how he's like for real. Maybe he is a, you know, a
person who will say the most outrageous thing in the room.
But then I guess it gets a loss when you come with like, the
perspectives that he did that based on your examples to social
media and like, what did you say?
Well, don't marry for love or dosomething like that's not a hot

(11:39):
take that we've never heard before.
We hear it over here. And like, you know, American
media too, it's like, what's thesprinkle, sprinkle lady?
Don't use men for love. Use them for their money.
So it's like it's not something that we haven't heard, but it's
like for that to be what he chose to attach himself to.
But then I just don't feel like it's, I mean it, it's who he is.
But then fair to like like you said, to choose him spraying

(12:01):
money and not hiding the fact that maybe because it is, it is
because he's like transgender that they really want to take
him down or he has been involvedin fraud that they really want
to get him out of there. But it's like say the truth.
Yeah, to be honest. But they won't.
I was going to say that's askinga lot these days out of a lot of
these government entities, girl,because it doesn't matter if
they're in Africa, if they're over here.

(12:23):
They just like what what we say,we just wake up every day and.
Literally, like, what is the story they're telling us today,
'cause, you know, we just like, do they have like a wheel where
they just spin it around and like, OK, today we are doing
this, doing this. Wow, this is the one.
They were boom like. Just like, what story are we
going to tell the people today? Anyways.
So that's my pop culture thing, Yeah, because we haven't

(12:46):
actually done like a global one yet, or one that's outside of
the US. So I It's always you that brings
them to the table. I don't because, I mean, I stay
here. I stay here.
I need you to become a global citizen, ma'am.
I will mine Coachella happened OK Like my friends and I were
watching the live stream. We just watched Dojas

(13:07):
performance and I don't care Arethe eyebrows back.
The eyebrows are back. OK that's good.
The hair was laid OK Oh she oh that performance was actually.
I don't care right. Would y'all say y'all may not
like Doja. I've not seen it.
I feel like. Don't watch Coachella, actually.
I never really watched except for Beyoncé.
Exactly. I was gonna say Beyoncé first
and last time I watched Coachella.

(13:27):
Yeah, me too. But Doja did a she gave a really
good performance. She was a headliner for both
weekends Victoria Monet performed.
She. Yes, I saw snippets of She Ate
that to watch the whole thing ofhers.
Shade that down. Thames was there.
Oh, Tamilade. Tamilade.
Tamchella. OK, then.
I never really need to watch. OK, fine, I'll watch the

(13:48):
performances that I care about. Right, You care about.
But I'm not going to spend hoursand I was watching everything.
Yeah, no, I wasn't doing, Hey, Ididn't do hours and hours.
That's when he say I'm watching live.
That's what I imagine like Coachella is going on in the
back background and you like forlike 5 hours like.
No, I have a life. That's what I imagine.
That's why I like I. Know I was just watching the
live stream. I will.

(14:09):
Me and my friends went on when Dojo was performing.
Oh, so you went to watch like the specific?
Perform. Yeah, we just watched her
performing. OK, I see what you're saying.
But yeah, what else happened? Rihanna changed her profile
picture. I don't know what's wrong with
her. What do you mean, don't know
what's wrong with her? Because why would she do that?
She can change. I changed my profile picture,
was saying like at least once a year, twice a year.
But that was iconic. That was.
She had that for 10 years. Well, sound for a change.

(14:30):
It's not tempting. We should all be transitioning
to different things. Just because that's how it's
been done for 10 years don't mean that's what she want to
continue to do. OK, but it got your attention,
didn't it? So yeah, whatever it is, she
changed to buy the new Venti. Well, there you go.
So effective marketing, I'm going to buy the new product
that she's coming out with, OK? Effective marketing.
I mean, it's like, what way can I get their attention?

(14:51):
Let me change my profile picture, because then they're
going to try to figure out what is on my profile picture.
Bam. She didn't even have to pay
millions of. Dollars for that.
She's a business woman. For real.
There we go. We're not getting on.
But a boom. Oh yeah.
I mean, think about it now. Even the one she just did like
the wedding somebody was saying,is because she's able to get
into the Asian market. So it was like a business deal?
Yeah, because she just opened upChina.

(15:11):
Exactly. So that woman is on her business
about her, but and then it's probably less stress anyway.
She has a young family she's trying to raise.
It's better for her to go have her meetings, do this and that
and then go home and put her children to bed.
I'm trying to do a beige and accent.
That's not it. I can actually.
I don't know if I know what the Bayesian accent.
Sounds like that. One time she was speaking in her

(15:34):
Bayesian accent and she sounded Liberian.
There was. They have, they have a very
weird cadence. Yeah, I was like what did the
library accent is happening? Labaranca would tell.
Like they tell. Like, yeah, they have the weird
cadence. I was like, wait, that's Rihanna
talking? I thought it was a Liberian
girl. Yeah, because it's like the
Bayesian accent is like the Irish of the Caribbean.
Like it's just the odd one. So like when they taught in

(15:54):
Ibiza, I suddenly tell like thisToday me and my auntie are
recording for our podcast named Banta.
They tell like that's like so. Yeah, so they sound very much.
They and librarians were a distant cousin.
Yeah, there you go. Like there, there's no way y'all
do your ancestry. Y'all used to be librarian or
something. OK.
That was a good segment. Yes, yes, you got to stay on
Portland. So our topic for today, we

(16:15):
didn't really have a topic because it kind of stemmed from
our last conversation right before we left Miami decided to
drop a bingo. OK, talking about she don't read
the Bible, she don't really believe in God or.
Wait, I didn't say that Hello. OK, speak for yourself or
forever hold your peace. I said that I discovered the
religious belief of Omnism. What the heck?

(16:38):
Which is it says that you don't believe that one religion is the
truth, That there's truth in allreligions.
So when did I say I don't believe in God and Satan is my
ruler? No, I didn't walk in.
Now you take me. So now, basically, that's what
she's. Saying, and I did say, I don't
read the Bible. Yes, I don't read much religious
material, but I feel like, 'cause I guess the big thing is

(16:59):
the Bible. Pertain is like, you know,
Christianity, and my family is Christian, like you guys are,
we're Christian. So I guess I would ask you, how
did you feel when I said that? I was like, what?
I I don't know. I've always come from the place
of like, I have to give you roomto discover faith for yourself.
It's not going to mean anything to you if it doesn't come from
that personal place. And I think like when you guys

(17:21):
were correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like a few
Christmases ago we made a point of all the older grandchildren
in the family of giving them Bibles for their Christmas gift.
One year didn't. We well, probably when I was at
home, but I didn't bring it withme.
OK. So then I guess I just always
assumed that, yeah, you have your Bible and you read it and
you open it. No.
Because for me, like, for you toeven go through the journey of

(17:42):
having, trying to figure out what faith is for you, I'm like,
how do you get there if you actually have never opened it on
your own to read it or study it like what we talked about on
that first episode? So when you do hear somebody
telling you something that's notof the word of God, you have
something to go back off of. And it's not just because a
pastor said something or somebody said it to you.
So for me, I just come from that.
That's just my personality, you know?

(18:04):
Like last weekend we talked about the whole Diddy thing, and
I told you I went and read the report.
Like, yeah, I'm just that kind of person.
Like, I'm gonna go read it for myself, I'm gonna figure it out
for myself. And then I base my opinions.
Like, that's just how I've always been wired.
Like, even if there's a story online and everybody has
opinions for it, let's say there's an interviewer for of
somebody, right? I'm always going to go say let

(18:24):
me watch it myself then for my opinions and I just take what
other people have told me. So for me, I guess it was just
surprising because I'm like, howcould you get to the point of
just even saying, like, OK, I believe in the Army Omnius or
whatever it is, but you actuallyhaven't even delved into
discovering it for yourself to know that you believe that.
Like, how did that idea come about?
Like, what was it? Yeah, that was of you.

(18:46):
And not just being influenced bysomething or somebody, I guess.
Oh, well, I guess it's not much of me.
I guess it was in the sense thatlike, I just don't know, like my
religious stance. So it's not because of like
influence. It was just like, but well.
If you don't know, then you search, then you look like, So

(19:08):
for me, that's the connection. Like, if I don't know, I'm going
to pull it up, I'm going to readit for myself.
I mean, even when we're fast. And I asked you, I was like,
well, did you? I think you said, yeah, your dad
asked you to read the Quran and stuff.
I've actually read the Quran. I've not read the whole thing,
but I know, like, I started reading like parts of it.
I think religion sometimes clouds us in how we go about
this walk with God, because sometimes we get bubbled down by

(19:31):
just doing things the way it's always been done, not
understanding why. You just get buckled down by
like the routine of something, right?
So. But I feel like.
Yes, Sir, for you to have a criticism to say, I don't
believe one religion, is it? Well, it's not genuinely A
criticism either. Well, I'm seeing it as a but for
you to have that in the way my brain works, I must have then

(19:53):
read every single one of those texts for me to come to that
conclusion. Because how did that come to
that conclusion? But I've not read any of them.
But I feel like, hey, when I sayit, it's not criticism and it's
not negative. I'm not rejecting any religion.
It's just. That I'm not one.
Or like I just like I don't haveknowledge of all of them to know
that I am one. So I'm just standing indifferent
now. But I guess I could say at this

(20:14):
time, phrasing my life, I'm not really a religious person.
And we've all been through rightnow.
It's crazy, the first thing you have sitting in front of you
today. Like I said, that's why when we
started, I always told you I waslike I was on the edge of
rebellion. So I totally get where you're
coming from of this like place of trying to figure it out.
I just encourage you. I'd rather you go to the
opposite end of saying I'm goingto pick up the Bible today, pick

(20:35):
up the Torah tomorrow. Like pick all of them up and
read them for yourself, and thencome to whatever conclusions or
decisions that you do. But the way I see life, I don't
see a credibility in it if I feel like you haven't actually
looked into all of them. Because then I'm like, what
exactly is the substance that you're criticizing?
Or the substance that you feel like is in line or with you?

(20:57):
Because right now you don't haveanything that you're playing
with. Like, it's just, oh, I'm just
choosing not to do any of it. But you don't actually know what
any of it says, because as you study all of them, you actually
tend to find similarities. You'll find things.
So then it might lead you back to what you're thinking, but it
might solidify you in whatever your journey is, whatever your

(21:17):
faith is. But I just.
But even then, it's just like what if I do and I don't pick
one? Like I'm just not.
And that's fine, but that's whatI'm saying.
I will have a much better acceptance or respect for it if
I know that you have studied allof them and came to that
conclusion instead of the other way around of like I'm just not
doing none of them. But then I have these opinions.
It's like. Well, I don't have opinions on

(21:38):
religion like I just let. I guess it kind of caught me off
guard because I'm like, where isthis coming from?
Because I know you said, you know, this is what we grew up
on. This is what we know, just not
too long ago at least. So were you just trying to
figure stuff out like you see me?
Were on the path of like okay, Christianity.
I'm trying to work on my journeywith God so.
Well, I well, God in itself, I don't know.

(22:01):
It's like I feel like God is different to everybody, even if
you're part of a religious groupor not.
And I don't know, because if you're a Christian, your
meanings of God, you're going torelate it back to the Bible.
Well, God means for you. If you're Muslim, you're going
to relate it back to the Quran, like you're going to relate it
back like to something, whateveryou are.
But if I'm not like strongly standing in or solidified in a

(22:25):
religion, it's not like I have nothing to relate it back to.
Like I believe there is a God where I just believe.
Like God is love and love is in everybody around me.
God is love. God, isn't everybody around us?
But I think it's a weird space. And again, I'm coming from my
perspective, it's a weird space to be in, in this ambiguity.
I think a lot of people get lostin it because we want things to

(22:46):
be ambiguous. You want it to be our peace and
love for everybody. But it's not a lot of the things
that we read, what we follow. Just when we were even talking
about, you know, why we fast forRamadan, one of the things we
say, you know, Muslim people tend to have discipline.
Everybody is going to have something about their really.
Like, I've not had any Jewish friends yet, so I don't know all
the insurance and outs of their religion.

(23:06):
But I will tell you there's probably certain protocols,
certain things that they do thatthey're strict.
I mean, aren't they the ones that have kosher, like kosher
foods and all those things? So everyone is going to have
something. But I think this, and maybe it's
my personality, but I just know the God that I serve.
I I'm a Christian, so that dictates a lot for me what I do,
how I view the world and everything else.
And I just know that nowhere in that Bible does it tell me that

(23:30):
I cannot do those things as far as, like, reading other things,
reading about other religions, learning about those other
religions. Like nowhere in that Bible says
that. What the Bible tells me not to
do is to have other gods and to have false idols.
So those are the things I'm always like, trying to be
cognizant of. That's why I'm saying, like,
sometimes I feel like maybe religion gets the best of us
because you might, you know, be trying to be the greatest person

(23:52):
that you're you're trying to be.But we joke about it all the
time. Let's say like the Beyoncé
thing, for example. Like, if I get to the point
where I like I'm idolizing her. That's something that my faith
and my religion tells. Me as a God.
Exactly. Like, I love her music.
I love what she's doing, but I should never be at the point
where it's like I'm worshipping Beyoncé, because then that's
exactly what my Bible told me not to do.

(24:13):
And even the woman herself will come out and tell you I am not
God. So, like, those are the things
that I think about that tells me, OK, this is what I should
do. This is not what I should do.
This is what God is happy with. This is not what he is.
And I mean, you have to read it for yourself.
You can choose to or not. But like I'd advised you before,
I say part of the discovery is like soaking in as much

(24:34):
information as possible. Like the people that I hear,
that I'm like, OK, you have madegood points.
Or you like they have been students of it.
Like, I just don't feel like you've been a student of one or
all of them enough to then be inthis place of ambiguity.
Because that's really what. Then where should I be?
Study all of them, I mean. But like, but I'm saying like in
the president now, like I'm not studying them.

(24:55):
So what do I say if I'm asked ifI'm a religious person and I?
See. Yeah.
I mean, you're on the journey ofdiscovery.
For what I said before. So I just don't think it's a
criticism like I'm not claiming to know all religions or say
that I've read all of them. But at the same time, I'm not
saying that I'm never going to nor that I have no will to, but

(25:16):
it's just a phase in my life that I'm at right now.
It's just that, like, I haven't.So it's like I'm not going to
sit here and claim something that I'm not.
I'm not going to sit here and claim to be a Christian if I
don't fall all the ways of Christianity because in the
sense of like, disrespecting thereligion.
So when I'm asked, I don't say that I'm a Christian or I don't
say I'm Muslim or dinner or whatever.

(25:37):
I don't know what to say. I'm just not a religious person,
so and I don't know. But I just, I felt like that
just developed not too long ago,I guess either you've always
felt like that, but it was nevercommunicated to me and maybe
there's a certain reason why. Yeah, kind of.
Or you are just going through and that's what I'm saying.
Then just say I'm going through this journey of trying to figure
out what I believe, what I'm gonna be following, what I I

(25:59):
look to. Because then that is in the
sense of searching and finding words or different religious
beliefs that I feel like I can tie myself to.
It's like, of course somebody onthe path to becoming a Christian
is not going to know all about Christianity at the beginning,
but the fact that they see that Christianity or Hinduism or
Muslim exist and they tie themselves with that.
Then you Start learning but or or.

(26:21):
Then you start like educating yourself and diving into that
practice and that religion. So I did recently find what
arminism means, but it doesn't mean I'm going to sit up here
and claim that I'm one knowing of all religions and I'm not.
I don't believe in one. I just found it a religious
belief and definition of term and it's like, oh that sounds

(26:43):
like. And maybe this is where given
our African background and then the different generations that
we're in and then we're in different like levels in our
journey too. Because I am older than you.
I'm just like, it's a dangerous place to be in that.
Like, it's almost like that's when things can go wrong.
Like it's a dangerous place to be in that place of, like you're

(27:03):
just taking anything and everything.
Because to me, it just means, like, there are other things
there. I mean, you're in therapy.
You're working through stuff, trying to figure out what is it
about the religion that I grew up on that I'm having questions
about or that I've seen that hasmade me not necessarily want to
follow it or believe in it. And that like I said, you're in
therapy, so you're working through those things.

(27:24):
But sometimes that's my fear, isthat people experience things
that have been caused by other people, right?
But then it pushes people away from God, from having a
relationship with him because it's tied to other people.
Again, God is not at the centre of it because when you read his
word, when you study it, he tells you everything that he is.
So for me, sometimes is when it becomes difficult.

(27:46):
Like I've had experiences beforewhere it's been terrible, but
every single time I've looked and I'm like, you know what,
It's that individual or that person that made that terrible
decision. And like I said, you have to go
through your journey and figure your things out.
But it's never like, in the way of me then thinking like, Oh,
well, I must believe in something else.
Because this so-called religion that I grew up around and look

(28:06):
at all the people that I've seenor what they're doing, like
understanding, like those are the human limitations in those
individuals. Those are the decisions that
they have made because the God that we serve still gives us the
ability to have free will. So those individuals have made
choices. They've made decisions, and
sometimes they're not living even in the way that the Bible
tells us to. But under no circumstances does
it keep me away from God. Because again, like I said, when

(28:30):
I know his word for myself, I know him for myself.
It's hard for somebody to drive him away from me or tell me what
he's not. And I'm just going to be
completely honest with you. Just two weeks ago, I was very,
very mad and very angry with God.
Like I told you, as I'm going through what I was going through
when I was fasting and everything else, one of the

(28:51):
things that kept coming up, I think it was when we had that
discussion on the podcast and I said, I've always followed, you
know, certain rules and said OK,because this is this is what the
Bible says for me to do. And I follow them and and then I
look around and at least from what I can see, yeah, I see
people that don't necessarily followed by those same rules.
But it just seemed like life hadjust hit me just one after the

(29:12):
other after the. So I'm like, God, you're
watching after me. You've done all these things.
But why do you also allow, like,people to come into my life to
hurt me or do things to me or, you know, so I was actually very
angry. But there was a part of me that
knew even in my anger, I still needed to keep going into the
word. And I promise you, there was a
day I'm like reading the Bible. And I was in Psalms a lot during

(29:32):
this entire time when I was fasting.
But towards the end, I was just like, really in it.
And I remember reading a passage, and even in the passage
as I was reading it, it was like, God, those who do wrong
and whatever they have found their riches on earth.
But I pray that you will see me when I go to heaven.
So they are making stock for themselves and for their

(29:54):
children's children. So pretty much what the passage
was saying was like, those who have chosen that earth is all
they're going to see or that's all they have.
They will be rich, earthly. But you're supposed to take joy
in the fact that when you die, you're going to heaven and
that's where your riches are. And I read that and I was like,
I don't agree with this. Like I'm just being honest with
you because I'm, I'm letting youknow that even with me, however,

(30:16):
you might see me and think, oh, she's such a high faith person.
Like I go through my struggles too.
Like. I thought you can be high faith
in anything in question, becauseit's not because like you have a
mind and you have a consciousness.
So of course. Yeah.
But from what I'm getting from you, it's like the UN
involvement. That's what I don't understand,
like you just are just indifferent.

(30:37):
You're just like I'm just like Ican take one person that goes
one way or the other like, but the indifference, I feel like
that's a that's a cunning way too.
Of like the we hate to say the devil, but that's a cunning way
too, of just something that justwants to get in between you and
you having a strong sense of your faith and a strong sense of
like where you're going and whatyou're doing.
Like I said, questions will comeand go, battles will come and

(31:00):
go. What I even learned from that
entire thing, it was crazy because I was even talking to my
therapist about it was after reading all that.
And I promise you, I went through some tough times.
I was like, I'm mad at you. God, I'm angry or whatever.
What I came to see was, and I think I shared it with you a
little bit, was this idea that, you know it.
It says it in the word that, youknow, when you were a child, you

(31:20):
spoke like a child. When you grow, you, you know,
become an adult. You speak like an adult.
So for me, given, like, how I was born in the faith, of course
life is going to ask things different from me than it's
going to ask from somebody else.If somebody grew up and, like,
let's say their father was, you know, a drug dealer and their
mother was a stripper or something, and then they're

(31:41):
trying to make the best decisions that they can, and
they decide I want to actually do life in a different way from
them. But they're going to have
missteps because, I mean, that'swhere they came from.
They're trying to do better. So is it fair for me to ask that
the same way God judges me, thatI grew up in a place where I
knew some of those things that that individual will not have to
struggle with? But now I'm asking that God is
going to judge me the same way that he judges them.

(32:03):
No, because then he's a fair God.
So in order for him to be fair, yes, given the circumstances
that that person comes from, therequirements for that
individual, the walk that they have to go through, it is going
to look very different from me. So if I just look at it from the
outside, I'd be like, well, you know, her, her mother was a
stripper and now she hosts parties or whatever.
But God, you still keep blessingher.

(32:23):
And of course God is going to continue to bless her because
guess what? He knows her heart.
He knows that she's still trying.
Me, I grew up in the church or whatever, so he's not going to
have the same requirements of me.
He's expecting me to grow from where I was born to where I am
now. And that individual is also
growing from where they were born to where they are now.
So if we just look on the exterior, of course that's where

(32:44):
my emotions were coming from. But he had to help me to get to
see that if I ask him to be a fair God, is that fair for him?
It's almost like when people have different Iqs.
Should I give a test to you thathas a higher IQ, the same one
that I give to somebody else? No, because that's what we're
all fighting for in this world is equity, right?
So if he's a God of equity, if he's a God of doing, just then

(33:05):
yes. No, it's going to be a different
standard for you than it is for that person than it is for him
or her. And yes, sometimes when we look
at things, we get mad and we think, well, these things happen
to me. Why did I have to be the one to
go through this? Why did I have to be, you know?
And sometimes you don't even seeyourself yet the way that God

(33:25):
sees you. I'm guilty of that in a lot of
ways because sometimes when I look back, I'm like, clearly you
must think I'm capable of certain something that I have
not even come to realize for myself yet.
Because the things that are thrown at me, you clearly think
I'm I'm capable of handling them.
So we don't see the whole picture all the time.
And all I'm saying to you is go through the journey like be

(33:48):
engrossed in it. Like I will not feel any kind of
way with you, like you're saying, reading different
things, trying to get the knowledge.
But I just don't want you to stay in that place of
indifference or then stay in a place of like collecting
something that's not based on anything.
And you then you're just out here just seem like like you're
just floating. It sounds good, and it sounds

(34:11):
like it's wonderful in cherries and blossom and whatever, But to
not be anchored to something in this world as you're going
through it, I'm telling you fromthis end, that's all I'm saying.
You know, it sounds nice and pretty, but it ain't gonna be.
So that's my little piece from. Do you get what I'm saying?
I get what you're saying, but obviously there's a disconnect.

(34:32):
Like even when you were talking there, there was a disconnect
right there that I felt ever since I was little.
I don't see God as someone like outside like he when you were
saying he or God can you? You judge well.
We don't know that for sure if he's a he.
Well, not even. Well, just referencing to God
outside of. So you think what?

(34:54):
But God, it's not that I don't think that there's no God, but
it's just a different meaning for me.
Like, I don't know. Like.
There's a God, and he manifests himself through people to you.
So whenever I hear people that say, oh, God is in me, yeah, he
is in all of us. He shows up in all the different
ways. The animals, he's the one that
created them. When you look at them, you see
the beauty of the things that he's done.

(35:14):
But yeah, what I don't understand is when people get to
the point of saying I am God, no, you're not.
No, there isn't he. Like there's the vibration of
God and frequency inside of you.So why are we talking?
To 1 Vibration. God's Spirit.
His Holy Spirit, well, your spirit.
Well, like, it's just these terms that we are in we try to
use to. It's just Huh?

(35:36):
Oh well, maybe that's different for you than it is for me.
Like the and you're not the first person.
I've had this discussion before with somebody else, and yeah,
it's the same. I just, yeah, maybe we have to
keep like figuring it out for ourselves and then talking about
it in little pieces. But yeah, like why am I using
the word vibrational? Like, for me, I'm like, that's

(35:57):
the Holy Spirit. He said he is going to send it
to us even when. And again I'm saying he, but
yeah, God, God can be a he, a she, a spirit is a spirit.
But he said he was going to sendus the Holy Spirit and the word
of God. He says he's Omni omniscient,
omnipresent. He's everywhere.
So he's everywhere and in everything.
So that aspect of it, when you say God, I don't feel like it's

(36:18):
an entity outside of me. He's.
He's within us. He's in the earth.
He's everywhere. When we take up our time, we see
the goodness of God. I mean, it's everywhere.
But why do we call it other things except for what it is?
Well, some people don't believe in God, so it's like how maybe
their definition for them is that something?
Well, of course you can, but like that you're going to get

(36:40):
mad at because they don't say God, if that makes sense.
And then just the other day you shared about like when your
family had a fire and you guys had just prayed right before and
you felt like, So I guess for me, it's like all the things
that you have seen and experienced, even when me and
you we talked and I'm like I used to be so worried about you.

(37:00):
And then I came to realize that God kept you and you're here.
And so it's like all these things that you have experienced
so far. And I know you're you're 19.
Maybe it's not clicking yet for you.
Maybe as you go through life andas you experience more, you'll
be like, OK, auntie, I might have thought, I didn't believe,
but maybe now I think I do. So for me, as I'm looking at

(37:20):
them as somebody that's older onthis end, I'm like, it's been
God keeping you. It's been God being there in all
these different situations. Yes.
Life has not been perfect for you.
Whose life is right. But he's been there at the
crucial moments. So for me, I guess like I even
at your young age, you've already experienced things so
much that for me it was always based off of those experiences

(37:44):
that I have that has created this unwavering thing.
I know you might not necessarilysee it because you think we come
from such a religious family. No, but that's that's there.
But for me, it's always been thethings within myself that I've
experienced and what I know for sure.
And like I'm saying as I'm reading and studying his word
outside of those influences, because if I go based off of

(38:05):
just people and everything else,I'll probably even feel even
more lost. But I'm able to even know when
my own family is not going by what the word of God says.
And I can clock that as you say,good gosh and be like, OK, but
that's your journey. So I'm gonna let you figure that
out. But when you do, yeah, But I can
assess it and I can see it. So I'm going to keep praying for

(38:27):
you. Lol.
I'm not going to assume that you're going to figure it out
today, but yeah, that's my advice to you is, I mean get to
work, lady, but don't just be inthe the spot of just like, bleh.
It's not bleh for me either. Then what is it?
It's just like, I'm here, like, I don't know.

(38:47):
And that, 'cause even then, liketo you it's like, oh, it's
floating or whatever. Yeah, 'cause I also I don't
pray. So when we pray as a family, I
just bow my head. And yes, I participate.
Like on my own. I don't pray.
Why? I don't know.
It doesn't do any. Like, it's not that it doesn't
do anything for me, but it's just that, like, just don't
pray. I don't know.

(39:08):
But that's what I'm saying. Every time I ask you questions
you always like, I don't know, II don't like, no, why don't you?
That's what I'm saying. So then to me it's just like you
have work to do like because youit's for you to unpack those
things. Why don't you pray?
Why don't you read? Why don't like, yeah, find the
reasons because then you know one way or the other.
But being in limbo of the, I don't know like again that's the

(39:31):
work against everything that you're trying to do.
Like there's a reason that just tells me that you have unpacking
to do. Why don't you pray?
So when when something's going on tough in your in your world
something is happening, what what do you go to?
I. Because if you don't pray or
what do the Buddhist people do, You don't meditate.

(39:52):
Like what? What?
Do you meditate? I breathe and I meditate and I
bank on the fact that, like, everything is going to be fine.
Like, this is just life. Things happen.
Things come at you and the like,things just happen.
But at the end of the day, what is happening?
Is either meant to happen or youknow it's just in a line with

(40:12):
you at the moment. And again, it's not meant to
come off as a like an insult. But what happens when you reach
your human limitations? Because yeah, maybe you haven't
experienced enough life yet. What do you mean?
Oh, honey, there will come a time where the ability of you
thinking like I can go within myself.
And I have everything within me.That you might hit that spot
where it's like, man, I ain't got nothing left.

(40:34):
Like I'm at the ends of my. So when you reach the ends of
your ability, the ends of what Miama can do, the ends of what
is inside of you, and all those things, then what?
Well, you're right. I have not thought that but but.
But. That's what I'm saying.
That's where faith steps in. Well, you can.
So that's why when you don't have it, then what happens?
Do you start seeing it in other things or?

(40:55):
No. Like no I.
Don't know. I'm not trying to give you a
tough time, but these are the questions that you have to work
your way through. Yeah.
Well, my limitations, which I did over this last month when I
was fasting and I was like, telling you I'm mad and then I'm
this and that. But I still knew, OK, I still
have to go into the word and even when I didn't want to hear
it, Miami, even in those times, like when it was super dark for

(41:16):
me and I was still very much so angry.
Those are the days I'll actuallylisten to like 2 sermons that
day. Just I knew there was a part of
me that even when I was struggling like that, I knew
that it was important for me to stay in the word and try to be
as much as I could in his presence.
Even when I was questioning things and I had the anger, I

(41:36):
mean, it was a lot. Some of it obviously I'm not
going to go deep into because westill have to maintain our
privacy and all that. But I was just like, man, it was
a lot of anger there. And so.
I had reached my limits within myself and I knew that my faith
had to kick in, even when I didn't want anything to do with
that and I didn't want to, you know, I was mad.

(41:57):
I was confused. I was all these things that the
faith stepped in and I bet you aMuslim person could probably
tell you the same. Like there are times I've done
this or whatever it is and I hadto give it all to Allah.
Like I have tried everything I could try and I give it.
Well, when you look in the termsof like of religion, like
Buddhism, they don't give anything to anyone like Buddha
is them. Like they meditate and they sit

(42:19):
in presence, just like Buddha had done because they don't see
any. Are you a Buddhist?
Well, I don't know. I'm not going to.
That's another thing I don't going to, I'm not going to sit
and claim because I don't followthe ways of Buddhism every day
and I haven't enlightened myselfon the actual religion and I'm
probably done enough research and knowledge.
I mean, if anything I probably can start doing that.

(42:40):
But it's just like when you say,because when I say I meditate, I
feel like that's my form of like, I guess your form of
following the word or is submersing yourself in the word
of God as much as you can. And it's just like when a monk
sits there and bodies are dropping around him.
It's just that like or somethingor life is coming at him like

(43:00):
that. It's like they go inside
themselves and they are just there and they're present with
the belief that life is meant tohappen as it happens.
And you know, but. You're not trying saying that
you're not noticed. You're saying that because
that's the point I'm trying to make.
You're saying that you're not Buddhist.
You're saying that you're not Christian, you're not Jewish,

(43:22):
you're not Hindi. I'm trying to think of all the
other religions. It's yeah, you know, most, you
know, all these different things.
But then what I'm hearing is you're cutting and pudding from
all the different. So it's just.
Well, OK, so I don't claim I'm one because I haven't done
enough, like, research on all ofthem to claim which one I am.
But when I say there's a religious, like, OK, belief of

(43:45):
Omnism, like when I do do that, I'm not going to think there's
one superior over the other as Istudy them or whatever.
Because I believe that they're the same thing is said in all of
them. Like there's the same truth in
all of them. There's the same truth I feel
like in all religions. That's why there's so many.
If we all didn't believe that there was just one, there

(44:06):
wouldn't be any religion. But religion exists and there's
Muslims and there's Hindis or Hindus and there's Christians
and there's Buddhists, right. So it's the same thing, just
spread out for different people.I never like, I guess you can
say that I'm on a spiritual, religious journey, but I don't
claim because I don't know, because I'm in on the journey to
know. But I didn't say that like I

(44:28):
reject Christianity or I don't believe they're that your God is
the right one, that I have respect for people who are
Jewish and people who are Muslimand people who are Christians.
I have respect for all religions.
I don't like reject one or thinkthere's one above the other.
It's just so. Just following one.
So then to come back to that idea, following one religion

(44:49):
does not mean a rejection of thehumanity of all the other people
that follow different things that they believe in.
Yes, I truly believe that. Yeah.
So I'm trying to also help you see on the other end so you
don't have to be Omni omnisciousor whatever.
The religion is omnipresent. Yeah, omnis.
Omnis like. But it's not a religion, it's a

(45:12):
religious belief. You can still be a Christian and
have respect for all of them andnot believe your Christianity is
better than the next person. But so that's why I'm saying why
did we have to create a whole new thing of I'm not Omnius for
that because in the very well. What would you call it then?
I'm sure every single religion has that, because at the core of
that, what you're explaining to me is pride.

(45:33):
It's thinking that, yeah, I I have a superiority.
So I'm pretty sure every religion tells us not to be
prideful. Yeah, that's true.
But then it's just like there's just a word for it.
I mean, you don't have to use the word.
You can say that I'm a Christianwith without the ego.
You can say I'm not prideful in my Christianity, but God is just
the one. Because, like you said, you've
encountered Christians who will try to shove their.

(45:56):
Religion. And we already talked about how
they don't even follow the word exactly.
We already. Established.
So they are not so well. I use the word I just.
Guys, this all happened because I stumbled upon a word, but
they're not an ominous being like and you don't have to claim
yourself as omnism as well. I'm not saying that.
OK, so I guess that's why I was confused because I'm like, why
do we have to go create a whole new religion for those things

(46:17):
that are already within those? That's also it's not if.
Somebody is, is, is. Why do we have to create a whole
new entity? If somebody is truly following
what the word of God says or theQuran says, they're already
those things. So it's almost like we get so
learned and we get so smart and we get so advanced that we
complicate things when they don't need to be.

(46:38):
Because if I'm truly following what the word of God is asking
me to, I'm already omniscient orwhatever the word is because I I
shouldn't. At no point I know that God
tells me not to have other gods,other idols, other things that I
worship, things that I put before him.
But at no point did he say I should look down on this person.
Because this person. And that is a belief.
But it's just, I guess it's a belief based on religion.

(47:00):
So it's religious belief. I believe the religion, though I
I don't know, PEN. It's something.
I read that and skip past that because that's like whatever.
But I guess at the same time, yes, religion in itself is
complex. That's why there's so many.
But I feel like. I just you just said there are
parts of it. When you read about it, you
didn't really believe. So how do you already attach

(47:22):
yourself to something that you don't even fully understand?
What do you mean? Because you're already now
saying that I don't believe thatanyone religion that in itself.
You're already following a certain protocol of practice
there, right? Something that you don't fully
understand, you don't fully like.
Now you said Pan What? I don't know what the word was.
There's another, like I'm sayingthat there were just whatever.

(47:44):
I just stumbled across it. It's the Internet.
So you stumbled across somethingon the Internet?
OK, oh, that's not identity. Oh, that sounds bad.
That sounds bad. That's not.
That sounds bad. That sounds bad.
But it's just that, Like I don't.
You see what it's like sitting on my side of this thing?
Yes, said No. Yes, I do understand, but it's
just obviously it's bugging you more than it is me.

(48:05):
I don't know. Maybe that's just us as two
different people or maybe because I'm young and you're
older than me. But I don't know even that in
itself. I don't really think I guess.
I obviously do think you gain wisdom and knowledge every day.
But anybody can change. Anybody can learn something
tomorrow and like shift and claim.
But I just that's life comes with wisdom.

(48:25):
Like that's true. That that's all people say
there. So when they say somebody, I'm
not saying and I think I I I've shown this with you in our time
together. I never come over here and I'm
like, I'm the expert. Listen, everything I say, I
always tell you, like, I don't know.
I'm still figuring stuff out. But this is what I've
experienced because I've lived on this Earth a little bit
longer than you. This is what I've gone through.

(48:47):
It's not meaning that it's goingto turn out for you that way.
Have I not said that many, many times?
Yeah, I'm not saying you haven't.
I'm just saying, well, just in the terms of like age and like.
We all know that just there's some very dumb older people
like, yeah, so just because somebody's older does not
automatically mean that they arewiser.
But yeah, living long enough in this world that exposes you to

(49:08):
certain things that you should be able to pull from every
experience on this earth, that should then educate you and give
you pieces of the puzzle and give you wisdom, wisdom that you
can then pass on to somebody. And so, yes, if you were born
two years ago, you don't have asmuch experiences on this world
than somebody who's been here for 92 years.
So that's all it comes down to, is acknowledging that by living

(49:32):
and going through life. And if I'm the kind of person
that I'm always self reflecting or looking at the world around
me at the end of my life, in my 30s, forties, fifties, 60s,
whatever, however long I live, Iwill be wiser than somebody who
has been here for a shorter period of time.
So that's all that is. Yeah, I didn't have a rebuttal.
Oh, because you just said something opposite.

(49:53):
So that's why I was like because, like, oh, I don't even
believe in that. Like just because somebody's
older. You said that, Yeah.
Well, that's another thing. I should probably keep track of
what I say. Words just fly out of my mouth.
I'm. Like, so I don't even know what
this episode is going to be called, but maybe we should call
it, like, journeying through, OK, Because that's really what
it comes down to. And you know, we, we promised to

(50:15):
come on here and to just be ourselves, right.
So for our audience, the take away, really for me, you're
going to see what your take awayis, and I'm going to say what my
take away is. My take away is regardless of
what you term yourself. So, like, I'm a Christian, so
I'll speak from a Christian perspective.
So I still battle with God. I don't claim to know
everything. I am aware of the fact that I'm

(50:35):
still going through this journeyand I'm going through this
journey with other people in this world and I'm going to
learn as I go. And sometimes the very thing
that I've believed in for so long, I question it and you
know, it's part of it and it's OK.
And I don't know, maybe there are people out there that
they're raised in a way where it's like we just follow it and
we just, we just do it and that's it.

(50:57):
No, I feel like that's part of your growth.
You cannot grow at all. And I thought for me it was
interesting that during the timeof fasting was like this fasting
this year, Oh my gosh, it's going to go down in the books
for me because an awakening happened.
Revival happened. I went through a lot of
emotions. Like I said, I went through a
lot of stuff, but I just kept going back to the word, reading

(51:18):
it, trying to figure things out.And even up till now, I'm still
like finding my way on the otherhand.
So I don't know what I just said.
I hope it makes sense to somebody out there, but there's
no one way of saying like, oh, Ibelieve or I'm a Christian, I'm
a child of God. So now I know it all.
Like, no, we're still learning and we're still growing and the
not so pretty side of being a a Christian is there.

(51:40):
And maybe we should talk about that more the the the
questioning and the struggling and the trying to figure it out.
And that's normal and everybody's not going to be
doing Alleluia praise 24/7. That's just not reality.
And what is your take away that you want the audience to learn
from your perspective of what you shared with us today?
My take away would be that I guess, well, for me personally,

(52:06):
I'm at peace with knowing that Iam on a journey and although
like I don't know because a lot of it is also me understanding
it for myself. So it's just like I keep saying
I don't know, let me not say that.
Stop saying I don't know. It's too important in your life
for you not to know, I guess. I'm at peace with the fact that

(52:30):
I don't know for right now. Like that's for me personally
that like I feel like the audience should take away.
But at the same time, I'm not close minded to having
conversations like these, obviously because, you know, you
didn't seem to understand, but at the same time it didn't like
really affect the fact that I still have a lot.

(52:52):
I feel like I want to learn frommy personal being that I'm at
peace with where I am. Then you should.
Yeah. And I'm not attacking you.
I'm just telling you I need you to just dig more.
Be firm in the things that you are.
You're like, yeah, stop saying no.
Why do you need me? Because again, I'm speaking it
from a Christian perspective. Your salvation is too much for

(53:14):
you to be existing in this world, and I don't know.
Well. Yeah, well, that's like for you.
Well, that's for you, because I'm at peace with not knowing.
But now I'm not saying it's, it's probably not going to be
forever. But I guess maybe because it's
like even seeing how passionate you were about it, like you take
pride in the fact that you're a Christian woman, especially not

(53:36):
one that's like, you know, you don't go around shoving your
religion down on people's throat, but with the actual
acknowledgement and understanding that, you know,
two things can exist at once. Two things can be true at once,
but I feel like two things can be true at once.
Like, yeah, we have two different truths that exist at
once, but I feel like we both know that I'm probably just

(53:57):
going to figure something out. But yeah, OK, that makes sense.
So it's like and the why? It's weird because we're auntie
and niece, but we're also sometimes like mother and
daughter in some ways. So it's also me stepping back
and letting you go through your journey and figure it's like
it's not my, you know, and I'll be in the background.
Like I said, I will pray for you, even though you don't pray

(54:20):
I'll be in the background doing that because I ain't going to
lie to you. I don't care.
I'll be praying, period. And that's another thing.
I don't want you to not care or not pray for me because so.
I'll be in the background praying for you, and I pray God
gives you clarity and that you are not in the clouds.
Yeah. OK, she thinks I'm in the
clouds. Y'all OK, shit.
That's another thing. Like I understand where you're
coming from. And you feel like I don't

(54:42):
understand where you're coming from.
Kinda, but like, not in the sense that 'cause you don't want
to, I just feel like. I do understand everything that
you're saying. I just see it differently.
Maybe that's what I've not articulated.
Well, maybe. Yeah, I know.
I think you definitely do see itdifferently.
You see it as me not having no faith and just walking through
life, just flowing like a leaf. But what's wrong with floating

(55:05):
like a leaf? No, we got to be anchored to
something, see. Well, even the leaf is anchored
to the wind. It lands where it takes it.
Do you know what Anchor is, man?I mean to the ground.
It lands wherever the wind will make it land.
The leaf is anchored to the ground when it's.
Whatever gravity is going to take you.
Lord, Lord, no, no. Well, that's for you.
Your analogy did not work. That's for you.

(55:26):
That's for you. The leaf floating in the air is
not anchored to the ground. It's going well.
It's floating. Just let it flow.
Exactly. You ain't got no anchor.
Because it's a leaf. What else is supposed to do?
I don't know. It lost his anchor.
And it's still fine. Is it because it's the tree that
becomes disconnected from the tree Eventually?
Does what? The tree dies as a leaf.

(55:47):
The dies well, oh, a tree. Can die just as a leaf, but I'm
saying the leaf that becomes disconnected to the from the
tree. What happens?
It just floats. Eventually.
What? It gets crushed.
Yeah, it gets crushed. It can get it.
Withers and dies, and it's disconnected from its roots.
But the tree dies as well. No.
A tree dies. Yes, trees can die when they're

(56:09):
diseased. When something else from the
outside has come and affected it, then the analogy you're
giving about the leaf floating, the leaf cannot stay green and
Evergreen forever. No, it's going to die eventually
because it's not been disconnected from the root.
OK, I'm still floating like a leaf, OK?
So I will always let you go through your journey and figure
things out. But yeah, when I don't agree,

(56:31):
that's where the passion and allthat stuff comes from.
It never means I don't see you. I totally get it.
And I that's why I shared the example I did with you.
Because I don't want you to lookat me and think, oh she just
thinks no, girl, I'm still figuring things out as I go.
But there's just I've lived lifeenough to know that there's
certain things you got to be principled about.
You got to be anchored in some way and you cannot because baby

(56:52):
girl, life, life, life, life. That's all.
I don't even know what I want torecommend this week because I
don't even know what I've been listening to.
I've been listening to a lot of Beyoncé, so I can't really come
here and recommend a song to youguys.
What other song can I do that I've been listening to?
And I've listened to a lot of Jill Scott.
OK, maybe if you have your songs, you can go for it.

(57:14):
Songs. Yeah, I'm sorry.
So am I supposed to give it gospel songs still?
Oh, I guess I'm the only one that's going to be giving gospel
recommendations now I. Just don't want to feel like I'm
ever disrespecting anyone. OK.
All right. So yeah, you can give your other
stuff, and then I guess I'll give a gospel and other
suggestion. OK, I've think I've heard one of

(57:35):
the best songs I've ever heard in a long time.
Ascension by Maxwell. Don't ever wonder.
I was like. Whoa.
The production was amazing. OK, now I need to.
That was a beautiful song. Well, can I give two?
No, I'll just do one. It's fine.
Oh my gosh. You know what, Bloom?

(57:55):
I don't know how to say her name, but I like that song.
Bloom by. Yeah, Akilah.
Akilah. So yeah, Bloom by Akilah.
I like that. Oh, I didn't know you knew her.
Yes. I followed her on TikTok.
I don't follow her on tick. I just heard her on Spotify.
That's how I knew she was promoting her music there when
she, like, didn't really have anaudience.

(58:16):
She's an independent artist, I went.
OK, OK, And then for gospel. Oh my gosh.
OK, my song of the week is goingto be Make Me Over by Bree
Babineau. Period.
Yeah, that's a good one. So that is it for this week.
I hope you guys enjoyed our podcast this week.
We actually covered quite a bit.We don't promise to be perfect,

(58:39):
but we'll always be real on here.
So you got the realness. There we are.
I hope you guys have a wonderfuland wonderful and blessed thank
you. You just finished an episode of
Banta with Tony and Mimi. We just want to say thank you
for taking the time out of your day to listen to our podcasts.

(59:02):
Have a wonderful day.