Playing God: Surrendering Control and Trusting His Plan

Season 2: Episode 5 - Playing God, Surrendering Control and Trusting His Plan

We dive into an exciting lineup of pop culture highlights, including new music drops from Wizkid, Davido, and more. Toni also shares her thoughts on movies like Wicked and Moana 2, along with upcoming releases such as Tyler Perry's Six Triple Eight and The Lion King.

The main discussion dives deep into the theme of "playing God, exploring the struggle of surrendering control and trusting God’s plan", even when life feels uncertain. Toni shares insights on how faith can help navigate challenges and bring peace in the face of the unknown whist imploring us to explore the power of trust, letting go, and finding peace in God’s guidance.  

As always, she concludes the show with her "Book of the Week" selection, alongside her weekly picks for gospel and secular music. This thoughtful mix provides listeners with the perfect soundtrack and inspiration to carry them through the hustle and bustle of life.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to Banta with Tony. Join me as I share stories about
motherhood, faith, life, love, and everything else in between.
I promise we'll also have some fun along the way, and I hope
that the time we spend together will end up being some of the
highlights of your week. Thank you for coming along.

(00:21):
Hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of Banta with
Tony. I hope you guys are going to
have a lovely weekend and a great week ahead.
These episodes always come out on Friday, so that's why I'm
saying a lovely weekend and a great week ahead.
If the previous week has not been so great, you know, just
reset. Let's just hit the reset button
and let's just keep going no matter what you're going

(00:42):
through, no matter what's happening.
Hopefully these 45 to an hour that we're spending together and
you listening to my episode hopefully does something for
you. So I did tell you guys on the
last episode that I was going tobe listening to Wiz kids Mario
album and I surely did. I did OK.
And I just want to say great effort, big Wiz.

(01:02):
It was a wonderful listen. And I think total, if you count
the song that I'd already liked,the piece of my heart song with
Brent Fayez. I hope I'm saying his name
correctly. Means of my heart, that song.
It's a total of 123456 songs that I liked on this album, so
that's great. Obviously I liked Bad Girl with
Ashaki, that was the first one Iheard from the album that I

(01:24):
liked. And then when I came back now
and listened to the whole project, Time is my second
favorite. Obviously I love me some Jasmine
Sullivan. So bad for you with Jasmine
Sullivan, of course, Peace of myheart, Casey Dance and it's slow
with Anne Cardo, I don't know who she is, but so those are the
ones that from listening to justthe first take of the whole

(01:46):
album, I listened to the whole project.
Those were the ones that stood out to me.
Now, sometimes, depending on like what the artist will choose
to have those, their singles, I'll probably come back and
maybe like a few other songs after they have singles and
stuff come out because maybe I like the first listen.
I'm like not so you know, sure about this, but from the first
listen, those are the ones that I like.
So after Shake song time is my next favorite one from him.

(02:08):
And it's so interesting sometimes, like when artists
come out with albums and stuff, sometimes I like them just being
on it by themselves. And I know you always have to
have features. Features are a great way for you
to like introduce your audience to new people and then you get
introduced to that other artistsaudience as well.
So I know it's a great way like of just collaborating and kind
of like helping each other out, helping each other to grow.
So time was like one of the few ones I think time and dance.

(02:31):
Those are like the two that he'sjust on it by himself.
Every other song that I liked was like had a feature on it.
So that's interesting too, right?
Like, Oh, just those two. But that's the album.
So if you haven't listened yet to Mario by Wiz kid, great
effort. I feel like he's he's coming
back to himself because I feel like he had like a little time.
There was something there missing in his music and

(02:53):
whatever it is that he's going through now, I feel like he's
gone back to like finding him and finding his sound.
I hope I'm making sense, but I felt like he was kind of
floating there for a little bit and with this project that he
came out with, I think he did a beautiful job.
So Congrats to big Wiz. I hope you guys listen and share
and that you know, his album rocks it out and you know,
breaks some records. Next, another music release.

(03:16):
Davido David is one of my favorites.
I mean, at this point, all threeof them, right?
I love Wiz kid. I love Davido.
I love born a boy. Now, Davido came out with funds,
and if you are an African music connoisseur like myself, you're
going to appreciate the samplingof Brenda Fassi's song Julian de
La. We all grew up with that song.
Like, there's no way at any point of your existence, growing

(03:40):
up in Africa, did you not hear Brenda Fassi's ruling de la?
That is like African music royalty right there.
No corner of the continent did that song not penetrate.
So whenever people like, you know, sample music that is near
and dear to our heart, you know,it's always very tricky.
I hope artists know that and I'msure they do that whenever you
take something that's near and dear to people like you better

(04:01):
bring it because we would be, wewould be like, there was no need
for you to take that. So whenever like people will
take people's songs and. Rubbish.
It I remember like what was her name?
Trying to remember the name of the country artist like that did
Fast cars. And I read an article before
that there are many people who came Chaplain, basically Chapman
Yeah, that there are many peoplewho came before to sample her

(04:22):
song. And then many times that she
said no. But I know I think it was last
year or the year before the the country song that came out and
sampled her music. But I felt like exactly.
That's perfect example of what I'm trying to say.
Like that a song actually came by and did justice to the
original song. And I think sometimes whether
it's the artists themselves thatare like very protective or we
as the listeners on this and like we're very protective of

(04:43):
the music. So it's like if you're going to
sample it, make sure you bring it or else leave it alone.
But David O did a great job withfunds.
The sampling was done in a very good tasteful way.
Like it was good, it was good. And Udu Mudu Black and Chika
Chika with his lovely voice. Chika was on the song I Udu Mudu
Black. I mean, if you don't know who
that man is, go listen to his music.
He's just is the rawness of it. I say this all the time whenever

(05:06):
it comes to our music, even likewhen I listen to like rap music
or whatever, the authenticity like the street music, I always
like it more. And I feel like that's just what
he were like. He's just so.
Ah. Is like one of the area boys,
but I love his music. So that was a great combination
and I guess I was like in a music spirit and this is like

(05:27):
really out of the norm for me because usually this time of
year I'm like locking everythingdown and all I'm listening to is
Christmas music. But I didn't even get to play my
Christmas playlist a lot this week.
I also listened to Dochi's album.
The funny thing with Dochi's album is I listened to it
before, but I think it was like on my way coming back from like
picking up the kids one day. And I heard one song and I like

(05:47):
that song. And then I listened to the album
and I felt like it was good, butI never like finished it all the
way through. So I actually sat down and
finished her album all the way through.
And I'm like, first of all, whenI even heard like the song
Weight that I liked so much, I was like, OK, this girl, there's
something here. And then I remember like seeing
her on TikTok and seeing her on Instagram and like I'm just
like, Oh my gosh, she's so gorgeous.

(06:08):
Like her skin is so beautiful. And I just loved her persona and
everything else. And then when I listened to the
album, I was like, Oh my gosh, this girl can rap like she's
bringing it. And then, you know, life, things
happen or whatever it was. And then I came back to like
appreciating the album again from beginning to end this week
and masterpiece. I mean, so many songs I've been
having like a music kind of thing, just kind of like

(06:29):
listening to music out there. And I went back and liked GTFO,
Nissan Altima. Obviously wait was like the
first one on there. But she's great.
So if you have not heard of Dochi, check her out.
I think she's a great rapper. I'm kind of just excited for
like the American female rap scene right now.
I'm excited to see where they go.
I actually listen to Gloria's album too and like some songs on

(06:54):
there. I love her with her and T pain
her and Friday did a song, the What you know about me song, you
know, again, when I talk about samples, if you're going to
sample something, you know, do it right.
And I felt like that one did justice.
And of course, hold on, I already had on my playlist Let
her cook. Like actually, Gloria probably
had like 5 or 6 songs of the album that I like.

(07:15):
So that's a sign that you did something.
But again, Dochi's album awesome.
Well, it's a mixtape actually for Dochi.
It's not album. It's a mixtape for Dochi Gloria
Devido whiz kids. So if you're in the music
listening mood like me, go aheadand check those out.
You will not be disappointed. Movies.
So everybody loves Jennifer. I've been seeing the premiere

(07:36):
from that, all the fashions because you know, our African
girlies are going to deliver thefashions for us.
Our Nigerian girlies, I should say, are going to deliver the
fashions for us and they came out for the premiere of this
movie and some of your favors are on there.
Like I always like when falls act like he's a great musician,
he's a great artist, but I feel like yeah, acting is like his
second thing that I don't know how it fell into his lap, but I

(07:57):
always love it when he acts. I feel like his comedic delivery
is always great. Like all the movies that I've
seen files and I'm like he he's done a great job.
And of course, Funke akin daily.Like she's the OG funny lady,
you know? So I'm excited to see it.
I don't know for us here in the US if it's going to be on Prime
or if it's going to be on Netflix.
Now, let me tell you, if you're not up on Amazon Prime and

(08:21):
African movies, you need to get on it like this holiday season
when your family is coming over,when you guys are doing stuff,
If you like to watch African movies, Amazon Prime has been
slept on. Like the amount of titles that
are sold on there. I don't know how it works back
in, especially like with a lot of the Nigerian movies.
I don't know if like maybe Amazon has just been more
accessible for them, like their options are on Netflix, but I

(08:42):
feel like the collection on Amazon Prime is really good.
So if you have Amazon Prime and you've never checked out the
African movies on there, girl, boy, whoever's listening, go and
check it out. Like you'll be amazed at the
vast collection. Like I started watching, I don't
know if you guys will know who Ibuka is, but he has a reality
show. It was him and Timini.

(09:03):
If you know who Timini is as well, these are all African
actors that you would have seen in movies and stuff, but they
had like a reality show like where they were like travelling
through different parts of Africa.
It was a bunch of them and Nigerian actors that was on
Amazon Prime. And I was like, OK, Amazon
Prime. So if you haven't checked out
like the African content on Amazon Prime, go ahead.
You'll be pleasantly surprised. There are some real good gems

(09:25):
there. And then I saw the premiere for
Tyler Perry's 6888. So I'm excited for that.
Kerry Washington is on there. You know, Tyler, sometimes
throughout this year, first of all, he has a studio, right?
He has to have diverse content. And that's what I've come to
realize. Like he's trying to create
different types of content. Is it the Jazz man's Blues?

(09:45):
I feel like that was the last movie of his that I was like, Oh
my gosh, this was phenomenal. And the last movie with Kelly
Rowland. You know, when my ammo was on
the show, we had our analysis ofit, you know, And then this last
show that he had out, obviously,whenever I start something, I
was finish it. So I finished it.
But I was just like, this is notin his, you know, this is not

(10:05):
typically what he does. And I was like, I did not like
it. I did not like it at all.
I cannot sugarcoat it any other way but that the last show on
Netflix, I'm trying to pull up the name because Lord, I, I have
so many things to remember thesedays.
Beauty in Black. And The funny thing is like
other people that I've told, like, OK, have you guys watched?

(10:27):
Have you seen? They said the same thing that
like I could not finish it. Like it was just no.
But you know, when it came out, it was the number one movie on
Netflix. So I didn't care for it.
But there's somebody out there that cares for there, people out
there that love it. And that's what I came to see.
Like maybe he is trying to like appeal, like to the younger
audiences and think that this isthe kind of stuff like they like
to see what? That's just where I'm at.

(10:51):
I'm just like stop, stop. No, no, no.
Like I kept saying no a lot. Like I try to follow the
storyline. There were things in there like
he will have like little redemptive parts in that beauty
in black. But there were a lot of like
no's I'm like, no, no, Oh Lord, Mr. Perry, Mr. Perry, Okay,

(11:15):
sometimes we can tell where you cut corners and and I love me
some Tyler Perry. I love me some Tyler Perry.
I love the fact that he gives black jobs.
I love the fact that he's the one that pays a lot of like the
black actors like what they actually deserve.
So like, maybe it's like a moneything.
Like he's like, I'd rather pay them what they deserve.

(11:35):
And then, you know, y'all just gonna have to buy the makeup
from the Dollar Tree to do this.Like somewhere, like something,
somewhere. But anyways, the even reason why
I even got on a Tyler Perry thing was because of the six
triple 8. I can't wait to see that one.
I know Kerry Washington is goingto bring it.
And it tells the story of a female, all female and they were

(11:55):
women of color battalion in World War 2.
So it's actually based on a truestory.
And I've seen like the pictures from the premiere and
everything. And then the last one was
yesterday because I've been I'vebeen at the movies or I feel
like the last week I went to seeWicked and that was awesome.
OK, It's good that people are like discovering Cynthia Areval,
but I've known her for a long time and her voice is just

(12:18):
phenomenal. So I'm happy that she's having
her moment and getting her flowers, getting what she
deserves. So Wicked was good.
I will see Wicked again. I will definitely see it again.
Like, I love musicals and and then we saw Moana too with the
kids. So I'm like, Oh my gosh, I feel
like so many movies. And then while we were watching
Moana too, they had the preview for the new Lion King and the

(12:39):
premiere happened yesterday. And Beyoncé was there with her
mom, her husband and her daughter, Blue Ivy.
And Blue Ivy just looked like such a beautiful young lady.
Like her gown she was wearing like this beautiful golden ball
gown. Like she just looked like just a
bell at her, like her first ball.
Like she looked gorgeous. It was just a beautiful picture.
Beautiful time for their family.That was great.

(13:02):
So that's all the pop culture news that I will be covering
today. It was a lot of music for me
this week, a lot of movies. Like when I saw Wicked Girl, I
was crying. I'm not going to ruin it for
anybody who has not seen it, butthere's one scene like where
she's dancing. That's all I'm going to say.
And that scene brought tears to my eyes.
Like I was just like, Oh my gosh.

(13:22):
And then there was another part.Actually, I started crying early
in this movie. Like one of the first times that
I cried was in the beginning, like, just like seeing how she
was ostracized and from like even birth, like her own parents
did not even want her. And like, Oh my gosh, it was a
very emotional movie, but it wasbeautiful.
I love the ending. I love her finding her voice,

(13:44):
finding herself. And I just love the idea of
like, you know, sometimes as a society, as people, we brand
people and say this person is wicked or this person's evil,
this person is this. But it's like everybody has a
story. And I just thought it was good
to like with the Glenda Glen Galinda, Oh my gosh, Galinda and
Alphaba, like I had such a struggle with both their

(14:06):
characters. Like there were things in Glenda
that I was like, Oh my gosh, she's a good person.
And then there will be other times that I'm like, no, she's
evil. And then, you know, with
Alphabet, I guess it was I have moments too for her that I'm
just like, oh, maybe that's the whole point.
Like why they directed it the way they did.
And to tell that story is to give you that concert like tug,
because you're trying to decide like who's good and evil.
And maybe at the at the end of the day, we all have parts of

(14:28):
ourselves that's good and evil. Glenda kind of like attached
herself really to Alphabet story, but it was not because
Alphabet did not allow her or invited her to come in.
Right. And sometimes when somebody's so
nice, like the danger of that niceness, like I guess I grew up
up north. So I've met and I've interacted
with a lot of golendas in my life who from the outside

(14:48):
looking like they fit that aesthetic of and I want to say
American aesthetic of what, you know, beauty is and the idea of
what it means to be good. And I will say even down South
too, I probably encountered somepeople who from the outside
looking at like you think they're good and they're nice
and that toxic niceness that's. It.
That's it. It's the toxic niceness, like

(15:09):
the people that you meet where it's like they give the
perception of goodness, but are they truly good?
Because that's why you are fighting with yourself if you're
looking at her character, because it's like, OK, she's
very manipulative. She's only used to get in her
way. At the end of the day, like I
know exactly where this is goingto go for the next movie.
Like she is going to end up becoming her enemy.

(15:30):
And then we're going to have to question ourselves who is good
here and who is evil. Maybe at the end of the day,
they'll both do things that willhave to question.
Like when I was living up north,I came from Minnesota and there
was this thing about people always say like that Minnesota
nice. And when you look from the
outside looking in like you'll be like, OK, that's good for a
city to be known of niceness. But what they were really trying

(15:51):
to get at is like, sometimes howtoxic it can be, right?
Because from the outside it's like, Oh yeah, this person's
nice. But are they truly because.
And again, Minnesota nice, that was a thing to be known as nice.
That's a good thing. But I'm just saying because I
don't want to be attacked. I don't want anybody that's
listening. That's what Minnesota, I'm like,
Oh my gosh, she was just like, first of all, Minnesota will

(16:12):
always have a place in my heart.That is my second home.
That is where I migrated to whenI came to America.
So it's never of ill intent. I'm just trying to put in
towards what I'm sensing here, what I'm feeling here based on
the experiences that I've had. And I feel like Galinda is like
Minnesota nice. Like that idea.
Like why they say that is because people will be nice to
your face, but they do things, things that are contrary to it.

(16:33):
If you've ever watched Mean Girls when oh, yeah, I love your
shirt, like, that's great. But like behind your back there
like that. Is it like the toxic niceness?
I don't know why it took me thatlong to figure out what, what,
what was it? Because I'm just like, Glenda is
so familiar. I have encountered many Glenda's
when I lived up north and that was what it was.
It was a toxic niceness. And I'm sorry.

(16:56):
I want somebody who I can see all your emotions and feelings.
Like I'm going to be like, OK, is what they look like when
they're mad. Like you're around me long
enough, you're going to see it. You're going to see me when I'm
mad, when I'm happy, when I'm like, the imperfections are
there and I want to see that. But that person that gives that
facade of niceness, but they actually toxic, like they're
very toxic. That is problematic.
And it's funny because in the world, the person who gives you

(17:19):
all the emotions and you can seethem, they're easy for people to
brand them as mean or evil or this, which is exactly what
happened with Alphaba. But then you have to ask
yourself like a lot of times then that person that you're
saying that is wicked and they're evil and they're this
and they're that. Are they really?
Or is it the person that's pretending to be like, Oh my

(17:39):
gosh, a moment, Okay, a moment. I don't even know how this
turned into a wicked analysis, but this was not even part of
the plan. OK, this is just like off
tangent, but Oh my gosh, asking yourself that, like, is that
person truly wicked or have certain things in their life
happen that has caused them to be the way they are?
And then you have the person that's like a toxic, nice toxic
niceness. Oh my gosh.

(18:02):
So that's that. That's a lot that was happening
in pop culture. So it will give you a handful.
Like if you listen to this podcast and you go back and you
listen to, you know, the music Isuggest, or you watch the things
I suggest, you're going to be busy, OK?
I give you a lot of stuff to go back and look at.
So enjoy because I have definitely enjoyed.
Go to the movies, go see Wicked,go see Moana 2 with your kids.

(18:24):
Lion King. I think it's coming out, I want
to say December 20th, which is like the same time that the new
Tyler Perry movie is going to come out on Netflix.
And then everybody loves Jennifer.
We don't know when it's coming to us and we don't know what
platform is going to be on, but I'll keep my eye out for it.
And then, you know, go listen toall the music that I mentioned.
So I'm keeping you busy so you can stay out of other people's
business. You see there.

(18:45):
Look at what I've done for you. Look at that.
I'm doing the lot's work. I'm doing the lot's work.
Oh my goodness. So today, now it's it's a little
bit serious, but today's episodewas prompted by something that I
have been dealing with. And it's tricky because when I
come on here, I'm always going to aim to be authentic and be

(19:07):
transparent to a certain degree.Because if it's anything I've
learned, people say that they want authenticity and
transparency, but sometimes those very same people can turn
around and villainize somebody for giving that very thing.
And we say we want it, but we only want it to a certain
degree, right? That's at least my own analysis
from looking. So the topic I'm going to cover
here today was inspired by something I was dealing with up

(19:29):
until last night. And I didn't act.
I did something that I felt likewas contrary to how I want to
operate as a Christian and how Iwant to operate just as a human
being that's just trying to be the best version of myself that
I can be and be somebody that's led by the word of God, what it
says. I tried to live that in my life

(19:51):
and I felt like the action that I took yesterday, what I did,
the place that it came from, it wasn't representative of that.
And the reason why I even wantedto share it was because I felt
like the message was something that I hope can resonate with
people. And it's amazing sometimes how
life presents itself. Like when I was experiencing
this yesterday, no way did I even think that it would be
something that I'll sit here today and would want to talk to

(20:12):
you guys about. But I'm not going to go in too
much details. But all I can say is I didn't
act. And when I had to search myself
and search my heart. Even though in some ways I felt
justified in it. I had to look at it and realize
that somebody or something has inflicted pain on me in a way of
like playing God, Whoever this person entities, whoever they

(20:36):
are, wherever they're coming from, right?
And in my moment of weakness, doing what I did, saying what I
said, that I was in essence alsotrying to play God.
So first of all, that's a lessonin itself right there, because I
felt like I was feeling pain andsuffering.
From in my act. Of like countering that I also

(20:56):
was playing God because I was trying to inflict pain and
suffering on somebody. I hope it's making sense just to
give you the essence of where this came from.
So my topic today that we are diving into is.
Playing God, surrendering control and trusting His plan.
I'm going to take you all to church today.
I mean, you came on this episodeafter I gave you all the
analysis I gave you from pop culture.

(21:18):
You didn't know I was going to church today.
We going to church today becauselike I said, I wouldn't come on
here and not give my whole self when I promised myself that I
was going to do this. I promised myself that I was
going to do. It in the way that I'm doing
now, I'm going to be vulnerable,but I'm going to be smart about
it because I ain't nobody got time for people and their
foolishness. But I have to talk about this

(21:39):
because it's something that clearly, after what happened to
me yesterday, I struggle with it.
And if I'm struggling with it, Ifelt the pain from people
playing God, trying to play God in my life, and then I in turn
try to do it. So I know that if I'm
struggling, there has to be at least one to five or the
million, 5000 thousand other people out there that struggle

(22:00):
with it. And maybe you are doing it and
you don't even realize that thatis what you're doing.
So that's where we're going to go today.
The first scripture that we're going to start with is Jeremiah
2911. And it says for I know the plans
I have for you declares the Lordplans to prosper you and not to
harm you, plans to give you hopeand a future.

(22:22):
So I want us to keep that verse in mind today as we go through
this episode because it's like the overarching theme really.
If we attempt to control everything around us, what we
are actually doing is telling God that we do not trust him.
When we try to exert control over things, people, we're
telling God we don't trust him. We're actually telling him.

(22:44):
In fact, I can do a better job than you watch me because now
you have decided that you are going to be judge and jury.
You're going to decide who's good and evil.
Yeah. So this morning, before I
started recording, I had to sit with myself.
I had to pray, I had to ask for forgiveness for that which I
ordered out of my own mouth. And when I started searching my

(23:04):
heart, because as I was praying and everything else, God was
just speaking to me like, OK, Sowhat does this tell you about
you? What is it that you have to then
work on? I realized it was coming from
that place like I felt like. This person or these people or
this thing was painful to me andI'm like, you are not doing a
good enough job of inflicting pain on the people that have

(23:26):
inflicting pain on me, so I'm going to do it.
And I'm like the spirit of what it comes from, right?
Because first of all, he tells us love your neighbor as you
love yourself. So if I'm trying to say things
or whatever it is to inflict pain on people, then that is not
me loving my neighbor as I love myself Because would I do that
to myself? No, so that I should not do that
to other people. But then at the core of it, like
as I was praying, I felt his spirit speaking to me.

(23:47):
And it was just like, search your heart.
So what is it? And I was like, you know what?
I was trying to be you. That's what it was.
Because again, when God does things, life is so intricate,
right? When God does certain things,
when he does give justice for things, when he does do,
sometimes we don't see it. And I think as human beings,
when you feel your pain, when you feel the things that you

(24:09):
feel, they can be so strong, those emotions can be so strong
that when you're looking for justice, you're like, but I
don't see a God. But it's like sometimes you
don't see what everybody's goingthrough.
You don't see what that person might be struggling with.
You don't see it. So that's why you keep your
hands clean and you say, God, you know what?
I'm turning it over to you. And I've said this so many
times. And like, that's the crazy part

(24:30):
is like in that moment, because of so much pain and everything
else that I was feeling in that moment, it's like, I know this,
I'm a heart of hearts. I know this, but my actions were
contrary to it. So it's crazy.
It's crazy. But what does it mean to play
God? So let's go into that.
That is when you try to manipulate outcomes, when you
try to control others and you try to micromanage life, that's

(24:51):
you playing God, believing that your way is the only way and the
best way. So in my scenario, going back to
myself, I felt like I'm not seeing enough that you are
handling these things. So it's like, let me handle it
myself. Exactly.
I was playing God in that moment.
So I'm asking you think about the ways in your life that you
try to manipulate outcomes, you try to control others, you try

(25:14):
to have. What you think is the best
thing, what you have decided is what that person.
Need like it's all about you. It's centered around you, that
your way is the only way, the best way, how you want things,
how people should be like, that's how they're going to be.
And if they don't fit that, thenthey're not.
That's you playing God. That's problematic.
So another verse is Proverbs 3, verse five to six, and it says

(25:36):
trust in the Lord with all your heart.
Lean not on your own understanding in all your ways.
Submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.
But is that leaning your own understanding?
Because I think sometimes when we start manipulating things,
when we try to control other people, when we try to control
the outcomes, it's because we'releaning on our own

(25:58):
understanding. We're all interconnected in this
life. Like it doesn't invalidate
whatever feelings you have. It doesn't invalidate any of the
hurt, but it's trusting that God, even as I'm hurting, even
as I'm feeling pain or whatever,it's still not the full story.
It's just my story right now. It's just my pain right now.
It's just what I'm feeling in this moment.
But it's not a representation ofeverything.

(26:20):
Everybody connected to me knowing that you just trust him
because our own feelings, we go best of our feelings.
We go based off of what we understand.
We go based off of what we see. It is never going to be the full
story and then this life that weare living with other people in
this world, it's so intricate, even if you feel like I have so
much information, I know everything.
You're only seeing such a small part of the puzzle like you will

(26:42):
not know every single piece. You don't know how people's
lives are intertwined with each other, how they affect things,
how that you know comes into being.
That's why if you ever see somebody who has had like a
terrible story at one point in their life and they have risen
from it and now they're in a good place and you go and you
ask them, would you change anything about your life if that

(27:03):
person has made peace with a? Lot of the traumas with a lot of
the things that they experiencedduring the parts of their life
that were terrible, they will still tell you no.
And the reason why they will tell you no is because they will
tell you. If I didn't experience that, I
wouldn't be where I am today. But it's that understanding,
like life is so intricate that what I'm experiencing now, what
I'm feeling now being at this place where where some people is

(27:24):
like, okay, I'm doing financially well or I have peace
in my life, or I have all these things.
Like I would not change anythingthat came before that because it
will mean that what I'm experiencing now, I wouldn't get
to experience it. So if that's what I had to go
through during that section of my life to be at where I am now,
I will not change a Dang thing. But it's that understanding

(27:44):
this, the intricacies of life, like just even changing 1 little
thing can change your destiny, can change how life turns out
for you. So like even if you're hurting,
even if there's pain, even if like it's like you just feel
like, man, I don't know how muchmore of this I can take.
Never take it into your own hands and feel like, Oh my gosh,
I need to then fix it. Because then one, you're not
trusting God, but two, you're not seeing that even that little

(28:06):
action that you take then and there can have consequences that
can lead to you for years to come.
So for me, I asked God for forgiveness, but it's just
praying that that which I said the things you know that it will
not have consequences for generations and years to come.
But that's how easy it can happen, right?
So I'm asking you, do you try tomanipulate outcomes?
Do you try to control others? Do you try to micromanage

(28:27):
things? And do you believe that your way
is only the best way and it's only going to be your way or no
way at all? If that is you, I'm asking you
now. Search your heart, because that
means that you're trying to playGod.
That means that you're trying tosay that you are going to be the
judge of everybody and everything.
And you are the one that's goingto decide who gets what based on
your assessment and your judgement.

(28:49):
And it's telling God that you don't trust his plan, right?
And you're telling him I am not in alignment with you?
Because even when it hurts, evenwhen it makes no sense, even
when you don't know what's coming next, even when you're
like, man, I don't know how muchof this I can take.
If you trust God and trust wherehe's taking you in your life,
you'll be like, OK, even though I don't know what this feels

(29:09):
like right now, I'm trusting that you, you will not put me in
anything that you will not Get Me Out of.
You will not bring anything to me that I cannot handle.
So when you fall short, what youhave to go back to is saying,
God, do I truly trust you? Because if I truly trust you and
I'm giving things over to you, then I'm not trying to
manipulate outcomes. I'm not trying to control

(29:30):
others. I'm not trying to micromanage
everything. I'm not trying to act like my
way is the only way. I'm not trying to act like I
know everything. I'm not trying to do all that
because I'm saying that as you are moving and working things in
my life, you have your way and I'm not wrestling with you for
that control and power. So are you stepping into roles
and making decisions that aren'tyours to make?

(29:50):
We can have a conversation therebecause sometimes we think our
intentions are good. Oh, it's coming from a group
place. I'm just trying to do something.
But are you taking decisions away from individuals, making
decisions that are not yours to make, doing things that are not
yours to be done? And in those actions, then
you're telling God. I don't trust you.
In fact, you're saying to God, Ican be God because I'm going to

(30:11):
make these decisions. This person deserves this.
This person deserves that. That person should have that
because of how I view or how I see things you're playing with.
Fire at that point you really are.
So first is acknowledging when you try to play God,
understanding the behaviors thatyou do that says you're trying
to play God. But then I think it's important
for us to ask why are we trying to play God, right?

(30:33):
Because it's for you to understand.
It's so much emotions. For some other people, it might
be fear like that, fear of the unknown.
Because like I said, when you have to trust God, trust His
time, and trust when you say you're in alignment with Him,
really trust Him to lead your life when you hand over.
Things to him. Oh my gosh, it's a scary thing.
It's a wonderful thing when we open our mouths and we say it,
but like when you actually trulyliving it in your life, my gosh,

(30:56):
it is scary. I don't know what anybody else
will tell you. Maybe some people they wake up
and it's just like, oh, I have to have a trusted God and I
just, I just walk and it's daisies and it's beautiful.
OK, that's good for you. But for people who are going to
be honest here, it is a scary thing because like I'm saying,
like when your back is up again so well, it's easy to trust when
everything is great, when everything is going.

(31:16):
But when you have had a month, six months, one year, 2 years,
five years, a whole decade, likenow, now we're talking, now
you're really in it. So why do we try to play God out
of fear, perfectionism, the needto control.
So you have decided in your lifehow things should look.
So when they don't look like that, then you're trying to mold

(31:36):
it. You're trying to take things and
make them into it, right? And then thinking that our plans
are better than God's plan. One of the things that I've
heard people say that I have even said is like, you know, I'm
not Jesus, like God, he went through so much, but I'm not
him. Like I can't be out here going
through and feeling all the things that he felt.
I'm not him. I can't take it like so again,

(31:59):
at the core of that for me that tells me there's fear there
because if he went through what he went through the Bible that
we read suffered the things thathe suffered, who am I?
When I was praying, I heard thatclear as day because I was like,
well, why do I? And then I heard back, but who
are you? So it's like the checking of
yourself, like, why do I have togo through this?
And it's like, but who are you? Who are you that you don't have

(32:21):
to go through it? So it's understanding when
you're playing God, why you're doing it, checking yourself,
making sure it's not those things where you think you know
better, where it's a form of youhaving perfectionism because
you've decided this is how my life should look or what it
should feel like or how things should be.
And then is it coming out of fear?
Are you so afraid of the unknown?

(32:42):
Are you so afraid that you don'ttrust?
So then that's why you try to play God.
That's why you try to take things into your own hands.
And so another verse, another scripture that I'll give you
will be Isaiah 55, verse 8 to 9.And it says for my thoughts are
not your thoughts, neither are your ways.
My ways, declares the Lord, my thoughts are not your thoughts.

(33:02):
My ways are not your ways. I made a post online, I would
say maybe about a month ago whenI was talking about the chaos,
the things that happened to you in your life.
When you hand over your life to God and say God take control, I
give everything to you. I lay everything at your feet
and I want you to handle it. That a lot of times what we say
is chaotic, what we say is problematic is actually him

(33:24):
aligning things and putting themback.
Because the way our human mind works, the way our flesh works,
right? When we say A, what we say is A,
God will actually say, no, that's B, that's C, that's D,
that's not A. So every single thing that we
feel like we understand and we have come to know when he's
operating, a lot of times it's contrary to that.

(33:45):
So that's why. And this verse just puts into
words what I was feeling that day when I wrote that, because
it was this idea. Like when you look at it from
the outside, you say, man, God, there's so much chaos, so much
problem, so much this, so much that.
And then he's looking at his like, oh, looks very good to me,
like I'm getting things back theway I want them to.
That you invited me into this. You said, put my life into
alignment, bring things back into how they should be.

(34:05):
You asked me, you came and said,God, I'm giving my life back to
you. Take it and make it yours.
That's what I did. I handed it to him and I said
take it and make it yours. So I asked him.
So then now he's taking it and he's making it his.
And then I turn around and I have a problem with it because
I'm like, oh, you're doing too much of taking it and making it
yours. I need you to take it and make
it mine how I wanted it to be. And he's looking at me like,

(34:26):
really? OK.
OK, ma'am. All right.
Do you know what it is that you asked?
And so I have to share this because I'm just like, Oh my
gosh, my mind, my mind has been blown.
So trust in him, trust in his higher purpose.
And sometimes you exercise certain things and you only get
stronger by doing it more and more.

(34:46):
Trust in God. It's one of those things, you're
just going to have to trust Him.And then you're going to do like
I did yesterday. You're going to fall, you're
going to make mistakes. You realize it within yourself.
You have your quiet moment within yourself.
You ask for forgiveness, you forgive yourself, you let it be
where it is. So like now when this happened,
I'm not going to beat myself over this for two weeks, three
months, five years, seven years.No, I made a mistake.

(35:08):
I fell short. And that is why I'm not going to
beat myself over it. I'm going to let it go and then
I'll probably not have anything happen again for a while.
And then I might fall short again where it's like I'm not
trusting him again. And I feel like I'll get better
and better, but we don't get better at it if we don't
practice it. So I ask you if anybody else out
there is going through where it's like you're trying to
control, you're fighting, you'refighting with him.

(35:30):
Really. You think you're fighting with
individuals or people or whatever it is, but really
you're fighting with him becausehe's like, let me lead your
life, Let me take these things on.
And you're telling him, Oh no, Ican do it better.
I'm good. I'm leaning my own
understanding. I'm leaning my own abilities,
what I can do, what I can say, what I can do, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah. And he's like, OK, Because
again, like we always know, he gives us free will.

(35:53):
We are able to do things that wewant to do.
And then when we go off course, when we go out of alignment, if
you're able to recognize it for yourself, ask for forgiveness
and come back into it, then you keep on going through, you keep
on journeying with him. But it's going to be one of
those things where it might be alifelong journey.
I'm only 36 years into this thing.
But man, growing up, I thought I'd knew God and I trusted him

(36:13):
and everything else. And then like I say, at this
phase of my life that I'm in, it's like everything that I
thought I knew, that I thought Igirl, have a seat.
And for the first time in my life, I don't know, maybe it's
adulthood, maybe it's experiencing things, maybe it's
having more responsibilities. I feel like when I was younger,
I trusted God more. Absolutely.
But I probably didn't have all these things on me like I do

(36:34):
now, right? So now it's like when somebody's
talking, oh, if I had that kind of money, this is what I would
do. If I had this, this is what I
would do. OK, Anybody can talk.
Anybody can run their mouth. You get there now.
You'll find out when you are there, when you have it.
Now, are you doing what you saidyou would do?
It's easy to run your mouth where you don't have it, when
you don't have a responsibility,when you don't have the

(36:54):
pressures, when you don't have this and that.
Oh yeah, I trust God. But now it's like for me to
really do this thing of saying Itrust you and I let you.
Oh my gosh, the amount of letting go, the let go in this
that I have to let go. Hey, my goodness.
So examine yourself to find out why do you try to play God?
And then the next part, the consequences of when we're

(37:18):
trying to play God and I'm telling you after he said to me,
search your heart. So what was it?
And then I had to say, OK, it's me playing God.
And then obviously I've been through enough therapy to
understand then why was I tryingto play God?
Look through that. Then the consequences of you
playing God, you're going to be stressed out.
You're going to be burnt out. Aren't you stressed enough?
Aren't you burnt out enough? And you missing out on his

(37:40):
blessings for you? Because then you have like this
tunnel vision. And that is definitely something
I've experienced because I'm like, well, why aren't you doing
this? And why aren't you doing that?
And like I said before, even with joy, I had to learn there
are things in your life to be joyful for.
I have blessed you immensely. But there was a time it's like I
couldn't see it because I'm like, well, you didn't give me

(38:01):
this. I don't have this kind of
relationship. I don't have that.
But it's like, I gave you this, I gave you that.
So what are those things for you2 that you might have looked and
be like, well, this person has this, this person has that,
Where's mine? And all along you had things.
You might not have the outwardlythings, but you have the inner
things. But you missing it.

(38:23):
I mean, I have taken care of people in the hospital where
they are so important, so wealthy, but not one person
would come to that hospital bed to see them.
And those who did, sometimes they came like out of that
obligation of what they can get out of this individual, of this
person by them being there. Sometimes if there was probably
not even money attached, those people will not be there.

(38:44):
And then I've taken care of people who they might not have
anything monetarily, but they never spent one moment alone in
that hospital bed. Like I have seen some families
that would just be rotating, like if a cousin wasn't here, a
auntie was here. If the auntie wasn't here, the
mother was there, the mother wasn't there, the daddy was
there. If the daddy wasn't, I mean it

(39:06):
was so constant. The grandma showed up, the aunt,
uncle. I mean, I'm like, are 55 of
y'all going to be in this room every single time I come in here
to take care of this patient? Oh my gosh.
I hope these people know how wealthy they are and the love
that they have in their family because the number of people
that have showed up to this hospital, even though it's
driven me crazy, I'm like, how the heck am I going to pass
these meds when they have 55 million of you up in this room?

(39:28):
But it's such a beautiful thing.So sometimes it's not even
because, oh, somebody's wealthy,then they have nobody around
them. It's about what they're
depositing in people's lives. Like the blessing of it.
Like that is such a blessing. So you might look at your life,
look at something and say, oh, in the case of these individuals
that I've talked about, one of them that I'm thinking about, I
think he got married like later on in his life.
But I'm sure there was a time inhis life maybe he could have

(39:48):
looked around and say, oh, everybody else is getting
married and I don't have a partner and I don't have a this.
But look at all the people that called him, all the people that
showed up for him even when theycould not physically even be
there at the hospital. But he never once felt like he
was going through something by himself.
And he could have focused on thefact that God, I got married
later in life, so you must not love me.
You must not care for me. Or in the case of this other
family, you can say, oh, we don't have this and we don't

(40:10):
have that. But look at all the love that
you guys have. We all have something.
I met somebody who can go to anyfreaking state in this entire
United States, and she has family members there.
That's a blessing. What?
Oh yeah, I have family here and I have family there and just a
drop of a call. I can pick up the phone and I
can go to them and spend time like if I'm in that city.

(40:30):
Whoa, that's a blessing. There are things I'm sure
they're lacking in their life, but I hope that individual knows
that's a blessing. Again, I would never sit here on
this mic and share anything or do anything or say anything out
of my own mouth that I've not experienced, that I've not felt.
It's what I will not do because what am I talking about?
Why would I do that? That's a waste of my time.

(40:51):
Waste of your time for you listening.
But that's the consequences of us playing God.
So another verse, Romans 8, verse 28, and it says, and we
know that in all things God works for the good of those who
love him and who have been called according to his purpose.
So when you're wrestling with yourself, when you're like, man,

(41:12):
you are not doing it the way I would do it.
Like, why are they not suffering?
Why is this happening to me? Why am I, why am I why, why,
why? When you're doing all that, you
say you're his, you say you've given your life to him.
You have to know that he's always going to look out for
you. He's going to look out for your
best interest, even when it doesn't make sense.
And that is when it's tough. That is when it's hard is that

(41:33):
when it doesn't make sense part.Oh my gosh, that drives me
crazy. I cannot sit here and lie to
you. That gets to me because when I'm
looking at it, 1 + 1 and making two and I'm like, how, what are
we doing? And as I even sit here more and
as I'm going through this episode, it's just like so much
aha, as Oprah would say, aha moments.
So for me, I'm in the middle of it right now.

(41:54):
This letting go. I've journeyed through letting
go. I feel like I've accomplished it
in many different degrees and I thought I was doing good with
it. But last night highlighted for
me that there's still work to bedone.
And like I said before, on this journey, you're going to go a
little bit, you're going to havea misstep.
You just get right back up, search yourself.
Just always make sure when you're having the missteps, you
search yourself, but you get right back up again.

(42:17):
But when you prevent others fromgrowing in their own faith, you
overstep your boundaries. So maybe, maybe you don't play
God in your life, but you try toplay God in other people's
lives. And then kind of going back to
like what we talked about in thebeginning when I said the toxic
niceness, you think it's clothing.
Oh, I'm trying to do something good.
It's good intention really. Are you?
Because you need to search yourself.
Why do you feel the need that you have to play God in people's

(42:40):
lives? Because yeah, there's some
people, like maybe you don't do it for yourself, but you try to
be God in other people's lives. You try to have judgement.
You are the one that decides this person did this, so they
need to have this. Oh, I'm trying to help.
Why? Because that's just as
problematic. That's just as damaging because
when you're trying to play God in other people's lives, like
you're preventing God from beingGod, from handling things.

(43:00):
And again, remember, you don't know everything.
You don't see everything. So now you're taking actions and
acting like God based off of limited understanding, like it's
not yours. You can support other people
without playing God in their lives.
So how do we do that? And when a friend comes to you,
they're struggling, they're going through something, you
listen to it, and then you pray for that individual.

(43:21):
You're not going to be trying tofix them, trying to fix what's
wrong or whatever. You just say, you know what?
Oh my gosh, what you're going through right now.
I'm so sorry for you. Like I had that happen to me
recently and it was so refreshing.
Like I'm coming to you in a timeof weakness because I need
somebody because we need community, we need each other.
But you know, you're like, it's tough what you're going through
right now, but I can't fix it. But let me pray for you.

(43:43):
And you keep telling that person, and I'm going to pray
for you and not just to say it by word of mouth, but you get
down on your knees when that friend has been done sharing
whatever it is that they're sharing with you and you pray
for them. I mentioned that last week when
I talk about sometimes just somebody's in your spirit,
somebody's in your mind, and youjust get that and you just pray
for that individual. Like that's what we're supposed
to do, respecting other people'sjourneys and then trusting that

(44:03):
God will work it out in their lives.
I cannot stress that enough because you have no idea how you
trying to play God in somebody'slife, how much that is
inflicting pain on them and thenhow much you are then taking on
things that you should not take.So in your mind, you have
convinced yourself, you think it's well-intentioned.
You're like, I see this and I want to fix it.

(44:25):
No, you're not God. And so the turmoil there might
be things you're going through and you're feeling in your life
and you're thinking, but I'm a good person like I give.
And then when I saw that this person was struggling, I try to
fix it and I try to do and I'm doing and I'm doing.
But then you are miserable, you're sad, you are feeling all
these emotions like that are contrary to what you feel or

(44:47):
think you're doing. That's because you're trying to
play God in people's lives. We will sit here in the Western
world and think we're doing something to benefit those
people over there because they're so unfortunate because,
you know, they just need it. And we don't realize that what
we're doing is actually harmful.Like the NGOs will always talk
about sometimes how the host charity schemes that we have

(45:07):
here of, you know, donating money or aid.
Aid is a big one. Anybody who has studied any kind
of social science will tell you the aid that's been given to
some African countries have beencrippling in ways that it is
killing and suffocating the people.
But it's clothed, right? That toxic niceness, it is
clothed in, oh, we're giving stuff to help these countries.

(45:30):
We're doing something that's good.
Don't you see? We're, we're doing such great
work. In return, you're crippling
economies. That's why Africa is the way it
is. And you turn around and you feel
good about yourself. And you see, I've donated money
and we're giving aid here, and we're doing this here.
But you don't see the damage that it's being done.
Like, leave people alone. Let them come to you with what
they need. Imagine how the world will be

(45:50):
different if African leaders went to somebody and said, you
know what? This is what my country needs.
Instead of you guys coming up with things, doing things that
you think they need, telling them, oh, well, I'm over here.
I'm helping you. And in fact, you're harming them
so that overstepping can be so dangerous.
That's how we support each other.
That's how we make this difference that we want to see.

(46:11):
If you don't care about making no difference in the world,
that's fine. That's your own thing.
But if you care about making a difference in the world, I ask
us to check ourselves and make sure that we're not doing it in
a toxic way that's clothed in USdoing something nice and good
for people. Because we convince ourselves,
we tell ourselves when you have decided that you're going to
play God in somebody's life, youdidn't go through this whole
thing of you convincing yourselfand telling yourself, this is me

(46:33):
righting or wrong. This is me fixing this and that,
again, when you look at it, right, why are you at the center
of it? It's like your ability, I'm
going to fix it. So push God to the side.
He ain't got it. He don't know what he's doing.
I'm going to do it. And then you want the accolades.
You want people to say, oh, you know, you saw something that was
wrong and that individual and you did it.
Let people be people, let God beGod.

(46:54):
So I feel like we covered a lot today.
But like I said, for me, it's been in my own life.
I'm on my journey of learning tolet go within my own life.
And when I had my misstep yesterday, if I'm going to be
vulnerable and honest here, I felt like that loss of control.
I felt like there are things outside of myself and people who

(47:16):
were overstepping or doing things in ways that I didn't ask
for. And that's where that came from
because I felt like it was so hurtful.
And we have to learn how to not overstep.
So trust God in your own life ortrust God in the life of other
people too, even when it don't make sense, especially when it
doesn't make sense. You say, you know what, I only
know a part of the story, like so much stuff that I see even

(47:38):
online that people go through. You have just a little piece of
information. You've formed a whole thing.
You have decided justice for this person.
You have decided this person is the evil 1 and this person is
right and this one is wrong. And this one, like you don't
know everything. No matter how much information
you think comes out, you don't know the full picture.
So we should always remember that.
And then how can one person or group of individuals then decide

(48:00):
what is good for everybody else?How arrogant is that?
And that's why we'll feel the things that we feel even like as
a nation, because how long have we positioned ourselves as a
nation collectively? I know some people be like,
well, that don't represent me, I'm just living in America.
But your country, our country, sometimes that's how we position
ourselves to the rest of the world, telling people what is

(48:21):
good for them, how they should be even.
Like when I had the criticisms for Kamala Harris at the time,
that was what was at the essenceof it.
I'm not saying I agreed with theGhanaian people and how they
were going about doing things and the laws that they had, but
I trusted enough that the peoplein their country had the ability
to decide for themselves based on the leaders that they picked

(48:43):
and chose what was good for them.
And when the time is right for their country to be reformed in
whatever ways, however it needs to happen to move with whatever
world views there is, it will happen.
But until then, we have to stop trying to play God in people's
lives. It has caused so much turmoil
for us as a people. And when I say as a people, I

(49:05):
mean all of us in this world. That which I'm talking about
today, I struggle with it personally, but I don't feel
like I've tried to play God in people's lives.
But maybe I have. And maybe that's what all of us
have to do is search ourselves. Did I take certain actions?
Did I do something? And in that way, I was trying to
play God And then did I come back and say, oh, well, that
didn't happen how I wanted it tobe?
We'll be amazed. I think that's what I'm.

(49:26):
Going to leave it at today. I pray that we recognize it
within ourselves, that we all sit in our quietness and say,
how do I try to play God in my life and how have I tried to
play God in other people's lives?
And that we surrender control and that we trust God in his
plans and we empower others by letting God do his work.
That is one thing I went throughlike five years ago.
Once I realized, like when I letgo the way God works, it's so

(49:50):
much better. And then I have so much more
peace in my life because of it. I think I used to struggle with
that, like in this overstepping in other people's lives.
Now it's me learning how to let go for within my life, within
myself. That was the next phase of it.
But the with other people's lives, I experienced that years
ago. And I think once I came to see
like, who the heck are you? I learned, you know what, I'm a

(50:11):
let God handle what he needs to handle.
And when he does it, it's so beautiful and it's way better
than anything that I could have done.
So then I let it go. But maybe for some other people
it's the opposite. Maybe you have learned how to
let go and you trust God with things in your life, but then
you are a overstepper in other people's life.
You see something you must fix you like nobody asks you, but
here you are. How are you going to fix that

(50:31):
and be better? Because it really is something
dangerous. I wish I can get into more
details, but like I said, I'm protecting myself.
But man, and I still struggle. Like there'll be times when I'm
like, Oh my God, I noticed this in this person.
And I just wish like things weredifferent and I might have a
conversation with somebody whereI say that.
But then when I come back and I'm like, girl, that was not
your business. Like really, It doesn't mean

(50:53):
that I don't care for you as another human being, But when
you really say that's not your business, it's saying I'm
letting God do his work. I'm letting God take control.
So I'm still going to be here for you.
It's not an excuse for you not to be there for people and hold
space for them and see them and feel what they feel and
everything else. But knowing your limitations,
knowing where you will not crossbecause you know what?

(51:14):
I'm going to let God be God. So that's it today.
And you know, this affirmation came up and so I'm going to end
it with this. I'm saying this and if you are
listening, say it with me. Say today I choose to release
what I cannot control, and I trust God's plans for me and
others is perfect and good. Let's say it again today I

(51:38):
choose to release what I cannot control and I trust that God's
plans for me and for others is perfect and it's good.
So I'm ending today with gratitude, with encouragement,
and I'm saying thank you. Thank you if you're even here at
the end of this episode. Thank you for reflecting with me
today. Thank you for going through it

(51:59):
with me. I hope everything when you know,
I'm able to listen back that it's making sense.
But this is raw today. It's what I've been dealing with
and I just had to come on here and just speak about it because
it was in my mind and it was so fresh.
So thank you for reflecting withme.
And remember, God, he has you. So let him lead the way.

(52:19):
Let him lead the way in your life and let him lead the way in
the life of others. And don't go meddling and trying
to be him. Let him be God and trust him and
our life will be what? Lovely, right?
We got to live by this, this loveliness.
I am, I guess, going to be the queen of lovely.
Next I'm going, I'm going to be the Martha Stewart of the word
lovely, I guess. But no, truly, seriously, our

(52:42):
life truly will be lovely. And our life is lovely when we
have the tunnel vision. You think my life isn't, but it
is. And chaos is still lovely in
trials and tribulations is stilllovely.
Even when I'm hurting, it's still a lovely life.
Even when it doesn't make sense,it's still lovely, but it's
lovely because we surrender to God.
We surrender to his grace and mercies and truly, truly let him

(53:05):
be in control of our lives and the lives of others.
And it's a beautiful and lovely life.
So thank you so much for listening today.
I hope this episode does something for somebody out
there, even if it's one person, that's it.
Like I'm not on here talking because I just want to grow for

(53:25):
myself and do all these like it's part of me even discovering
my purpose. And they're going to be some
people. They're going to hear this today
and it's not going to do anything for them.
But I know there'll be somebody somewhere that here's what it is
I'm saying. And they're like men.
I need to do some work. I need to search within myself.
I need to Start learning how to stop controlling my own world,
my own life, and stop controlling others and truly

(53:47):
trust God and let God lead. So I hope you guys have a
blessed and wonderful weekend before I go my song selections
of the week. So this is an interesting one.
I heard this song and it's been on my playlist for a while.
This song has been on my playlist since earlier this
year, but this is my first time sharing.

(54:07):
It on this platform. So my gospel song of the week is
yet and it's by the King will come and it just speaks to that
idea of just like our imperfections like even what I
went through yesterday. I feel like it's so like
appropriate or today, but it's like, yeah, God, don't give up
on me. I'm going to make missteps.
I'm going to fall short. I'm going to do things that are

(54:29):
not right. I'm not going to be perfect, but
it's like don't give up on me, God, because I know I've I've
come a long ways and I have so much longer to go, but don't
give up on me yet. So I love, love, love this song
again, yet by the Kingdom will Come.
And then my other song of the week, this one was really a
surprise. It's called for Campe, like the

(54:50):
number four and then Kampe KAMPE.
And I'm not even going to try tosay like this artist name
because I feel like I'm going tobutcher it so much.
I'm going to try. I think it's Joey Duy Filet, OK,
because he is Haitian. He's a Haitian artist.
And the song is called for Campeand it's spelled KAMPE with the

(55:11):
accente. Gue, my French teacher will be
very proud of me. So for Campe, right, that part
of the song where the drums comein and it's like take it over
type for Campe, listen to it andlisten to yet beautiful music,
and I will catch you guys on thenext one.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode.

(55:32):
I know it's going to be a long. One, but I hope that it bless
your spirit in some way or another and I'll see you guys
next time. Look at me saying, see, we will
convene. Lord, I'm just all over the
place today. I will catch you guys on the
next one. Thank you so much for listening.
All right now, bye bye. You just finished an episode of

(55:56):
Banta with Tony. Did you like it?
I hope you had a great time and that you have some takeaways
from this episode. But before you go, I want to ask
you one thing and that is to share this episode or this
entire podcast with a friend, family member, or acquaintance.
Because remember, when you have something good, you need to talk
about it, you need to share it and you need to shout it from

(56:17):
the rooftops. So go on and let people know in
your life that you have this wonderful podcast that you would
like to share with them. I appreciate you.
I appreciate your time, your support and everything else in
between. And remember, if you do it, I
have to talk about it. Have a great week.