The Gift of Comfort

Season 2: Episode 13 - The Gift of Comfort

In this episode of Banta with Toni, Toni dives into the pop culture highlights of the week, starting with the grand JP 2025 wedding of Priscilla Ojo and Juma Jux in Nigeria from the lavish outfits to the outpouring of love and support, with more celebrations expected in Tanzania. She also shares her music picks from recent album drops by Davido, Odumodu Blvck, and Aqyila, highlighting her favorite tracks.

Toni touches on Kendrick Lamar’s new role as a Chanel ambassador and unpacks a trending topic about nurses wearing makeup and nails addressing the underlying biases and sharing her perspective.

The episode's heart lies in the main theme: The Gift of Comfort. Toni reflects on the many forms comfort can take peace, faith, self-care, emotional safety and its power to help us navigate life’s challenges. She emphasizes being a safe space for others, cultivating self-love, and reframing difficulties as growth opportunities while trusting in a higher power to bring calm in chaos.

As always, she concludes the show with her "Book of the Week" selection, alongside her weekly picks for gospel and secular music. This thoughtful mix provides listeners with the perfect soundtrack and inspiration to carry them through the hustle and bustle of life.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to Banta with Tony. Join me as I share stories about
motherhood, faith, life, love, and everything else in between.
I promise we'll also have some fun along the way, and I hope
that the time we spend together will end up being some of the
highlights of your week. Thank you for coming along.

(00:21):
Hello, hello, hello and welcome to another episode of Banta with
Tony. I hope you guys are all having a
wonderful week and that this will be a good end cap to your
work week as you get ready to enjoy your weekend.
As for me personally, this is going to be a good weekend for
me. I plan on seeing Sinners.

(00:42):
So I've been trying to make surethat I'm not consuming too much
that's giving away too much about the movie, but I am
excited for that one. I can't wait to go to theaters
to see that. So that's part of my plans this
weekend and just other things tojust kind of relax.
It's crazy how much things can change in the span of like a
week because last week I was like in so much pain, so much

(01:02):
was going on. And it's like slowly I've gotten
better. Things are changing health wise,
I'm doing good. It really made me like think
about my diet. So one of the things I've been
trying to do is really be more strict with myself and more
consistent because, yeah, everything comes back down to
what you put in your body. So this last bout for me just
made me think, OK, you have somechanges you need to make and you

(01:24):
need to make them. So, you know, I'm working on
eating for fuel and not just forpleasure.
You know, I can find a good medium there.
I like me some healthy food. I like, you know, fish and
veggies, as long as it's like roasted has a little bit of, you
know, charness to it, I can do it.
So I have high hopes that I'm going to stick to my diet
restrictions that I've created so far.
No dairy. I'm trying to do no sweetener,

(01:46):
but I put Creamer when I have mycoffee.
So no dairy, no really extra sugars and I'm watching the
carbs. So pray for me.
I pray I continued on this journey.
Easter, I had to let go of that diet a little bit.
OK, I had rice. OK.
I had made some coconut rice formy family.
And it was only right that I consumed said rice.

(02:06):
But like even my plate at Easter, I couldn't even
completely like finish it. I made like this big plate.
Like when they say you eat with your eyes and not your stomach.
Oh my gosh, made this huge platethat I didn't even get to
finish. Like you know, as you're
cooking, you're taking taste of things here and there.
And then I got to it and I was like I had like 5 bites and I
was done. So I really had to force myself
to even finish what I did for Easter.

(02:26):
But it was a good Easter. I worked the night before so I
came home, I slept a little bit,my family went to church.
I couldn't make it to church because I was so tired.
And like I said, I was still recovering from being sick the
previous week. So I knew I needed rest.
I knew I wanted to go to church so bad, but I'm like the rest is
more important. So I came home from church,
slept OK, and then when my family came home, my mom and my

(02:48):
niece came home and then they woke me up and then we all
cooked together. So it was a beautiful time.
Like in the past, I have definitely like thought about
when these holidays will come together and how I imagined it.
And this year it kind of panned out like how I imagined it,
which is like just me with the women in my family.
We all just come in together andcooking and enjoying each

(03:09):
other's time, spending good quality time.
It was a lot of fun. So we had some good memories
there, good moments there and I pray for you and for me that we
continue to have memories like that.
I am really leaning into this mysoft girl era and I hope that
some of you guys are coming along with me into the soft girl
era but it's going to happen. So much has gone down.

(03:30):
What did I tell you guys? I said if you don't want me to
talk about it, don't do it. And y'all have been out here
doing things you know during that week when I was sick I was
on my phone a lot because there will be times like when like I
need that to distract me. So if I wasn't trying to get
some rest I was just on my phoneand I saw everything.
I saw everything. So we are going to talk about

(03:52):
everything that I don't saw it OK I saw it.
I saw it all. The first thing I am in today,
yo-yo, yo-yo, I am in today. If he got designed, that's all I
need to say. If I'm just saying that and you
don't know what I'm about to talk about, you have been under
a rock. OK, JP 2025 and then and then I

(04:15):
watched the Yabos post her latest post and she said, oh,
Next up, Tanzania. I'm like, ma'am, what is left?
You Nigerians did not leave anything.
What is left? What are they going to do in
Tanzania at this point? First they were in Tanzania,
then they came to Nigeria. Nigeria showed everything they
are capable of. And now you said there's more.
And ma'am, what is left, ma'am? I mean, at this point, are they

(04:39):
going to come off paceship? Are they going to go to orbit
too? Like, oh Lord Jesus, JP 2025, no
games were played. What is it?
I need to go back and get married again.
You know what? I need a vow renewal.
I need a vow renewal. I'm to see that.
What, What? What?

(05:00):
Oh, my gosh, it was beautiful. It was beautiful.
And I don't even know where to start.
OK, So all I know is. And I was like, OK, outfit.
OK, another outfit. Another outfit, outfit.
And then the guest, the guest did not let us breathe.
True. Everybody was coming with their
bespoke items. I mean, I should be to the

(05:22):
finest. OK, The finest delivered like
this just made me think about like when you know over here,
the idea of like being upstagingthe bride and in Nigeria is like
if I upstage you, that's your fault.
That means you did not bring it enough because it's your
wedding. I love you.
That's why I'm bringing it like the energy loved it Mother of

(05:43):
the bride, she brought it Chiomabrought it any any 2 had some
outfit changes. Oh my gosh, everything, every
video that I had seen, it was beautiful.
And I'm trying to make sure I give credit.
But one thing I've noticed now, the new brides, what they're
doing is they will have a stylist.
So it's the job of this person to put together the looks and

(06:03):
they're the ones that will hire the designers.
So Vicki James did her actual white wedding dress and she gave
the story of that, of all the intricates.
I think she said 12 different types of beading was used on
there. But it was the job of this
stylist and he did such a great job.
So I remember watching his videoon threads and he was just
talking about all the looks and you know who designed what?

(06:23):
And you know, like, that's the stuff I live for.
That's the stuff I live for. So they did such a good job.
You can tell when there's planning and vision there.
And even Trim, I talked about itlike she was like, I cannot do
this because I'm such a perfectionist.
But she did a wonderful job at the core of it.
Oh my gosh. Outside of the looks, the
fashion, all the frivolous stuff, what are the takeaways?

(06:45):
The first one was how the parents were able to put
whatever issues, feelings past all of those things they had
aside for the good of their daughter.
And that was something to be commended because then I heard
the story about the mom and dad and how things were not so great
with them, but you couldn't tellhe was still honored.
The focus was on their daughter,and that was such a beautiful
thing to see. And then come to find out the

(07:06):
mother's partner played such a big role in putting together
this wedding. But look at how he gave the
family space for them to enjoy themselves.
And I'm sure behind the scenes, Priscilla and the Mamiabo were
like giving him praises and thanking him for everything he
did. But he gave them their space,
their spotlight. The only person that was
misbehaving at this team was Diamond Platinum.
Can somebody please sit him down?

(07:27):
Oh my gosh, Diamond showing himself why the man was crying
on his wedding day. Why are you going to go ask him
why he's crying? Maybe you know, Diamond, it's
time for you to grow up, find a good relationship that you can
connect to, that you can have that emotional connection and
then you 2 can have a wedding where you're crying at it.
Like it's the questioning for meand then it's him doing it like
saying it in his native languageand not like remembering that

(07:50):
we're in the day of Internet. Boy, you said in your language
thing that we weren't going to understand.
They interpreted it. They put it for us in English so
we can read. We know what you said, Diamond.
We saw it and you know, all jokes aside, everybody's going
to have their opinions. My thing is if you have been
friends with somebody like Diamond, and I'm sorry, I'm just
going to say it. And especially given his antics,
his behavior of asking those questions, I would say maybe

(08:12):
that's a relationship that's eventually now that you know,
Juma is married, that that relationship is going to have to
evolve. Because if Diamond is not
changing and you are serious about this relationship and you
are serious about being committed to this individual,
I'm not saying because you get into a relationship, you need to
get rid of friends. It's the type of friends that
are required for you to move forward in your relationship.
And when he's questioning you, why you're crying, what kind of

(08:35):
question is that? Shouldn't he know that this is
an emotional thing? So why are you asking questions?
Augusta, what is it? For me, it was like a big red
flag because I'm like, this might be a relationship.
Like if he doesn't learn boundaries with this
relationship and probably certain things, you probably
will not go to a diamond. Diamond is probably not the one
to ask because marriage is goingto come up with his ups and
downs. He is probably not the one for

(08:56):
you to be going and asking when you have those little rough
patches because that man going to tell you to go be with
another woman and then the entire Nigerian country is going
to have to go looking for you and you don't want to know that.
So if I were you, Diamond would not be the one I go to for
relationship advice. But outside of that, it's also
like the power of just people just showing up for you.
Like, that was so beautiful to see everybody that showed up to

(09:17):
celebrate them. That can be overwhelming.
But it just speaks to the type of person Priscilla and the mom
and their family is, how much they are loved and cared for
that all these people showed up and thought themselves, you
know, because when you have an event like this, who was I
explaining it to? Because they were like, ah, it
seems like they didn't have space.
I was like, oh, yeah, because you are inviting like 300

(09:39):
people. And usually you're like, OK,
maybe only half of those people are going to honor it.
So when you start planning an event or start doing certain
things before people RSVP. But African events, there's no
even RSVP. What's the point?
So really, you're always going to say, OK, maybe 300 might show
up, but you know, usually peoplehave stuff, people have
something going on like maybe 200 of that 300.
But I'm sure for them, every single person they invited show

(10:00):
up and then probably even brought some people.
So they did the best with what they got.
Everything I felt like came out right.
I wished them well, you know, somuch attention and everything
else that I hope they take theirtime, like kind of disappear a
little bit. You know, that's always good for
the beginning part of a relationship.
Let it just be you and your partner, like kind of like lay
low a little bit, enjoy your newmarriage, not have anybody

(10:24):
interfering with it and kind of like find you guys's rhythm.
But we wish them well. Nigeria has this whole
relationship on their back. Tanzania, the heat is on you.
Apparently the wedding celebrations are not finished.
So I don't know, Like I said, I mean even the wedding cake, the
wedding cake, it was a full blown wedding cake.

(10:44):
Like they entered the cake to bethe bride and groom on the cake.
Like that's how big the cake was.
Lord, Lord, Lord, it was an extravaganza.
It was ah, oh, I loved all the videos.
I was seeing everything, the opulence, the extraness, I loved
it Everything was beautiful yeah.
All the 55 outfits. I think it was like maybe 10.

(11:07):
Did I count 10? Everything that I saw on her I
liked and we haven't even talkedabout the guests yet and all the
outfit like please. Ah, you guys are on match Last
year shown OJ came on, finished us and then now this year, this
is the biggest one so far and then Tony, Tony, Tony.
She is also getting married. She's a author and I guess now

(11:28):
she kind of is like author slashinfluencer and she has a podcast
and she had done like her introduction, but it was like
maybe a few days before the whole JP 2025 stuff happened.
And her dress was beautiful too.I think it was done by Imagine
by Bucola too. She did that and I just her hair
was on point. The green dress, you know, I
love me some green. Green is a symbol of abundance
and we always going to have abundance.

(11:49):
So her stuff was beautiful too. And I just remember like seeing
that one picture from her that she shared and then we saw JP
2025. So maybe she has more pictures
she's going to share. But I'm like Tony, please,
you're such a gorgeous, gorgeousgirl.
Her and her Boo, like there's make such a cute combination.
Like when they finally have kids, they're going to be just
beautiful. Like her and her Boo are just
beautiful together. Like it's cute.

(12:10):
So I'm sure her stuff is going to be coming out soon.
So we will not have rest. We will not have rest OK,
because I'm sure Tony, she's going to bring it to with her
wedding and her fashions. She'd already given us like a
pre wedding photo shoot and thennow she just did introduction
this thing. So she's like, let me let JP
2025 breathe, Let you guys take a little deep breath a little
bit and then I'm sure she's bringing it too.

(12:30):
So ah, we are here. We will be observing.
Ah, ah, yo-yo, yo, Oh Lord, thatsong is going to be in my head
for a minute. So many new albums, albums
galore. The first one was Davido.
Oh my gosh, Daryl Vega. I had seen the video of Daryl
Vega and Davido doing like the promo leading up to this album

(12:54):
release and I was like, these people are fools.
Like the fact that he even did this with Daryl and Daryl is so
serious but so unserious at the same time.
Like he's the most unserious, serious person.
Oh my gosh, cannot deliver one thing.
He said he was producer an album.
Then he said he's now assistant.Never assisted with nothing.
Chicken, you do not bring nothing you brought.

(13:16):
What did you assist with except for helping yourself to that
banana? What is it?
But I listen to Davido's new album and like I always tell you
guys, like whenever I listen to an album, I go through it and
then I'll go back to the ones that stood out to me and liked.
So usually I wouldn't like too many.
But so far what I have on my list, 12345, I think I'm missing

(13:36):
1. I think I'm missing the Victoria
Monet song. So 6/6 is what I have so far.
And then the week before, Udumudu Black's album had come
out and I listened to that one, that one, I have 123.
But then if you add the other song that he had released, I
think 4 out of that album that Iliked.
And then the week before that Akilah had come out with her

(13:58):
album. Her voice is so soothing to me.
Her lyrics are just beautiful. I love the artist that she is
and I loved her entire album. I think I like like every Dang
song because they were already like Most Wanted, 911, I'm
Calling and then Bloom I had already loved like so there were
some songs that I already listened to and loved, but then

(14:19):
like the new ones that I heard 12345 S 5 new songs that I heard
from the album. So, so many album releases.
Davido's album, let's start withthat one, I felt like in the
beginning it kind of like, OK. And then I felt like towards the
end, the second-half of the album is for me, what I noticed
I was liking a lot more. So the way he set up the stuff,

(14:40):
I feel like the heavy hitters started coming in later and
later because I think at that point every song I was hearing
then I was like adding and adding.
So, you know, he progressed, OK.There was a progression.
And what I like too about that is that he did have a lot of
features, but nothing day, nothing day.
Hey, I'm speaking like I'm not an African person.

(15:00):
Oh, Lord Jesus, help me. Nothing day.
OK, Nothing day. That song, he's on there by
himself, and I love that song. So for me, that always speaks to
somebody's ability. Like, you know, we're
collaborative in these days, so you're always going to have
features. But I also want to have a few
songs where it's just you. And I just love listening to
you, listening to your voice, listening to your lyrics and all

(15:20):
that. That's just you not featuring
anybody else. So he delivered in that area.
He delivered. He delivered.
So it was good. It was a good effort.
It was a good effort. I cannot wait to see what songs
he releases. Let's see if any of my
favorites. Let's see if any of my favorites
get released as singles. OK.
All right. That Victory song, Holy water.

(15:41):
First of all, I I just love Victory's voice.
Oh, my gosh, he has such an angelic voice.
I don't know what I just did there.
Did I just. OK, so that was good lover boy
with Taycee and Daju. Ah, ah, ah, chocolate,
chocolate, my boys. Now, of course, I was going to

(16:03):
add that to my list. Come on, come on.
He has a song with Becky G Like I said, nothing day that's by
himself. Obviously I'd always already
like, please don't take my phones and then the song will be
Terry money. I wanted to give it a chance
just to listen to it first and then I'm going back to add it.
So that was it for that. And then Udu Mudu Black's album,

(16:23):
it was rough for me, it was rough for me.
I really wanted to like it, but he started to sound like
repetitive on every song and I liked 3 songs.
So these are the songs that I added.
I added Early Morning, I added Ishqaba Man, and then I added
Barista Tofu. Those are the only three.
I feel like I need to go back and listen to the whole album

(16:43):
again. But from that first listen, I
only added those three. And like I said, there are other
songs that he has on the album that I had already had on my
playlist, you know? But these are the new 3 that I
added. And for me, I just felt like
maybe the album wasn't quite there yet.
Like I felt like he was maybe there 70% of the time.
But whoever it is that's making the final decisions, because I

(17:04):
don't know if he's an independent artist or if he he's
going through a label, they needed to send him back to the
studio for something like just always felt like some of the
songs I was hearing, it wasn't quite ripe yet.
And then he started to sound thesame in every song.
So then I was like, I know it can be so much better.
And somewhere, I don't know, maybe he got comfortable with a
certain sound, like something inthere wasn't finished all the

(17:27):
way for me. But these three that I added, I
felt like when I heard them, like, and then that's the way I
know too. Like when I hear it that first
time, sometimes if I have to go back and after I go back then I
like a song then I don't give itas much impact.
But when I hear it for the firsttime and something clicks for me
and I'm adding it like in the 1st 30 seconds, then you know
you have created something here.So those three, those three were

(17:49):
good. Those three were bangers in my
book. And like I said, Akilah's album,
Oh my gosh, Focus, Sunshine, give me more.
I already liked Bloom and Most Wanted, then Down and Wolf Wolf
was good. So if you haven't listened to
those albums yet, go out and listen.
Take a listen. And the week before that, I
think I finally was starting to listen to the Scissors album,

(18:11):
but I haven't finished all of itbut hers.
I added like 5 of them to my playlist.
Kitchen, My Turn, Chill baby, Nomore hiding.
And of course, BMF, We've been listening to that already.
But yeah, it's been a few weeks of me listening to new albums I
hadn't shared. So that was me sharing any other
pop culture. Oh my God, so much stuff.
I just saw today. Kendrick Lamar is now one of the

(18:32):
ambassadors for Chanel, and thatwas surprising and good.
Lupita Nyong'o is already an ambassador, so now they're
adding Kendrick. So it's going to be interesting
to see if, you know, they even do collaboration together for
his tour. And I think he's coming to
Houston tonight. Oh, my gosh, I wish I could have
gone, but no, I have to be at work.

(18:53):
I have to gain my employment. OK.
I wish I could have been there. If I could have, I would have.
But I will not be at that concert.
But who knows? You know, life is a beautiful
thing. You know, sometimes maybe a
concert comes to your city and you're not able to see it, but
then life opens up an opportunity and it goes to
another city and maybe you fly to that city and you go see it.
I see. I'm calling that into existence
right now. I might have not seen him today,

(19:14):
but it doesn't mean I will not see him never.
OK? You never know.
The tour is still young, so maybe one of these other cities,
an opportunity will present itself.
I'm speaking it now into my lifethat I can go and experience
this Kendrick concert because I really did want to see them in
concert. I really did want to go that
one. I really, really, really did.
And I was kind of bummed, like when I thought I was like, it's

(19:35):
I'm not going to be able to go. Yeah.
So that's that. I'm sure there are other pop
culture things, but I feel like these JP 2025 took up most of
the conversation today that whatelse is left?
What else can we talk about? Oh my gosh, like so much has
happened. Oh, before I get off.

(19:56):
So yesterday I was scrolling to TikTok.
I haven't been on TikTok lately.'Cause like I said, when I was
sick, I was just kind of scrolling the Internet or
whatever, but like with intention, like the way I used
to be on there to like, you know, watch my funny videos and
all that stuff. So I got on TikTok yesterday and
then there was a video of this lady talking about nurses and
how they are ghetto because the nurses that have their makeup

(20:18):
and their lashes and their long nails are ghetto.
So when somebody uses that word,we know what demographic they
are referring to. And it was kind of confusing
because the woman herself looks like she could be mixed.
So that's why I was like, are you shading your own people?
Like, because you look like you're maybe half black or

(20:39):
something like that. But that video has been all
like, the reactions to that. I've been watching that.
And because I'm like, oh, Lord. So this is the thing.
She shared that story. So first of all, in the nursing
field, we're not supposed to have these fake nails, but like
going to the nail salon sometimes for us is like part of
our self-care. Like me personally getting my

(21:00):
pedicures because I'm on my feeta lot, that's part of my
self-care. So if you're getting your toes
on 10, so you're getting your nails done too, a lot of places
they don't want you to put in like nail Polish, adding
artificial nails and all these other stuff.
Now do a lot of the employers probably enforces it as much as
they should? Probably not because again, we
have a nursing shortage. Are you going to send somebody

(21:21):
home because they have nails or you're going to allow them to
take care of the patients? So that's your other nurses
don't have 6 patients. OK, Pick your battles.
So in our profession, in our field, we're not supposed to
have them in the first place. So we all know this, we all know
this, but not everybody abides by those rules.
And for me, for example, if I goon vacation, I'm going to get my
nails done, OK? And usually, depending on how

(21:42):
many days I have off PTO, maybe I'll come back like a week later
and I take it off, OK? But I have been approached
before like, you have fake nails, you need to remove them
by next week. OK, so we all know that, you
know, it's common nursing knowledge.
Now, the other stuff that she's talking about about lashes and
makeup, to each his own. Like as a nurse, you go through

(22:04):
so much already like taking careof people that you have to learn
how to take care of yourself. And that represents something
different for everyone. Because when I was leaving law
on her page, the girl that made this video, I'm like, OK, you
have your nails done here. You look like you wear makeup.
Do you only do that for TikTok? Because how sad is that?
Like you only wear makeup for TikTok?
Like, so you're trying to tell me when you go to work, you
don't put on makeup. You don't do all that.

(22:25):
Like, it just seemed like a personal thing.
And then other people made the same observation.
So I was just like, OK, I know I'm not the only one.
It just seemed like a personal thing or incident that she was
having with somebody and then decided to make it into a
generalized statement that now got her into this whole heap of
trouble. Was some of the things she was
saying correct? Yes, because she said she had a
meeting with the MP and she was dressed inappropriately where
her breasts were showing. I'm not sure whatever that was,

(22:47):
but yes, you know, professionalism and how we put
ourselves together. Whenever you're talking about
people and how they put themselves together, you always
have to be very careful. And this is something that even
I have had experience because I remember when I held the opinion
that, you know, us as black women, we should not be out in
public wearing bonnets or whatever.
Because I'm like, if you go to my house, I own like 10 of them.
So it's not like I don't wear one, but it's like, I just want

(23:09):
more for us. Like when we go out, like when
you even look at, like, black people how we used to dress back
in the day. I'm like, yes, I want us to be
put together. I want us to bring our best foot
forward. And nobody is going to say you
need to be perfect all the time.But it's like, let's have
certain limits. Let's have certain places that
we won't go. But I remember even me sharing
that opinion online. People are like, what the heck,
She talking about? Woo Boo.

(23:32):
Yeah. Yeah.
So it's always a tricky situation when you're talking
about people's looks. And then when she uses the word
ghetto, yeah, I'm like, Miss ma'am, you've gotten yourself
into some deep waters now, so good luck climbing out of that.
Well, I want to be at her workplace when she goes back to

(23:52):
work because, you know, she mustwork with some nurses with
lashes. And then you know how petty US
women can because, you know, some of them are going to go
there and put on makeup today. Ones that never even wore
makeup, ones that never even wear lashes.
They are going to have makeup and lashes on today.
Disturbing her or whenever next she went to work.
Look at me, she made video yesterday.
Who knows when next she's going to work?
But I can just imagine, like I would love to be a family on the

(24:13):
wall when she returns to work because that's going to be
something. But it's a lot of things to
unpack. Like the first thing is like
she's trying to say at the essence, people don't take the
profession seriously because of sometimes how people present
themselves. But one thing you have to learn
in Healthcare is that there are a lot of like biases, right?
And I have seen that first hand.Like there is certain way that

(24:34):
we have to behave as professionals and then there are
certain things that if you belong to a certain group of
people, things that other peoplecan do and get away with.
When you do it, it's looked as unprofessional.
I'm just going to say it. When a white woman shows up,
because I've worked with white women before that wear lashes
and makeup, you're not going to use that word ghetto.
But when the black woman shows up with her fake lashes and her

(24:55):
makeup done, all of a sudden youcategorize it as ghetto.
So you yourself, you have to be aware.
Like that's why I say even within the healthcare field, and
this is something they teach us is your implicit bias.
So what she didn't even understand was that this
conversation was a very delicatething to have.
It's one thing if you're saying somebody dressed in a way that
was inappropriate and you know, they showed themselves off.

(25:17):
But again, I am a woman that Godhas blessed up top.
And I remember one time I was wearing true story, one time I
was wearing one of my figs, but it's like the figs that is like
the wider 1. I think it's the Rafa something.
It's the Rafa something that's the name of this particular
scrubs. If you know this particular one,
like it's kind of bigger, but then that V on the middle is cut

(25:38):
a certain way. So I just remember I was taking
care of a patient. I think we were having like
actually we called like a code or something.
And this NP came to answer and because she made a comment
about, Oh, my chest was showing or whatever.
And then she proceeded to aim tolike, want to like pull my this
thing up. Now I was at work.

(25:59):
But if you have seen my face during that time and I'm sure
she saw my face too, because my face sometimes I will keep my
mouth shut, but my face will tell the whole story.
I was like, you should thank Godthat I am at this hospital right
now because you're violating. Like how are you not sensible
enough to know? Like you can have your opinion.

(26:20):
You can say what you said about,oh, my boobs are out again.
You're not even aware of the fact that I'm a woman of a
certain chest. So even when I don't try for
them to be out, like they are going to show a little bit.
What I do now is I wear like a wife beater.
What did I just say? I like to say white beater
because somebody didn't tell me like it is wife beater.
And I was like, that's ridiculous.
But because apparently they callit wife beater because the men

(26:41):
who were violent to their wives always wore the white under
vest. So that's why it's called that.
But anyways, that's the conversation for another day.
My white beater, OK, because I'mlike, I cannot call it wife
beater. My white beater underneath it,
but just the fact like you are touching my body.
Like you can have whatever opinion you're going to have,
but why the heck are you reaching over to me?

(27:03):
And she herself, she was like anMP.
But again, it's one of those implicit things, right?
Because I'm a black nurse. I'm just going to call it what
it is. You had an opinion of whatever
it is you thought my scrubs were.
And then you proceeded to touch me and violate me.
And the look on her face, she must have seen it where like
it's like you do not put your hands on me because she, she
backed up real quick. And then she changed the subject
to the meds, which is what you should have been talking about

(27:24):
in the 1st place because you came in there and we're having a
cold. So I don't know why you're
worried about my stuff, but these are some of the things
like people are talking about the microaggressions that you
have to deal with at work. So same thing.
I've worked with many, many women who come to work and
they're done up. I even used to be one of those
where I'm like, I didn't come toto work for fashion show, but
God knows I've been through somestuff.
And sometimes it's like to uplift my spirits, I want to put

(27:46):
on my makeup. I want to do all that to go to
work because it's like when you look good, you feel good.
Let people just do what works for them.
I felt like she was having a conversation that she was not
prepared for. You were not ready to truly
seriously have this conversationbecause first to have it, you
have to also check yourself to make sure that you don't have
any implicit biases. And you could not do that.
So you were not the one to have this conversation.

(28:08):
Is it a conversation we can have?
Everybody can deal with criticism.
If is there criticism to have. I'm sure there is.
There are things and areas that we can improve as nurses because
we're trying to make sure our profession is taken seriously.
Yes, it's valid. However, you are not capable of
delivering that message, Miss Ma'am, because one, it's a
personal thing. We all pick that up.
So go deal with whatever that isthat's happening.
You didn't need to bring that onthe Internet.

(28:29):
And now you have a whole bunch of people mad at you because you
generalize from this one individual that you're feeling
some kind of way about. Go work it out.
So anyways, I leave that as where it is like
microaggressions craziness, but I've been lucky enough to work
with people that I love and adore, and we're just going to
leave that there. So today's episode, I guess

(28:49):
maybe you're giving after like the kind of week and then me
seeing everything online. Today I want to talk about the
gift of comfort, OK, resting in God, in love and life.
So what does comfort mean to you?
And comfort for a lot of us is like different, right?
Like I was just talking about, for me, comfort is like peace.

(29:11):
Sometimes it's like the kind of food I have, ambiance that I
create and me just having like acalmness about me.
Like that's what comfort means to me.
And sometimes even if I'm going through rough patches in life,
it's like resting on knowing howGod has always had my back, how
he's always going to come through for me.
So like that brings me comfort even in the rough times, like

(29:33):
when I'm going through them. But comfort, it's like a feeling
of like being taken care of. So it's like people that make
you feel like home, places whereyou go that bring you back to
you, places that you go to mentally that bring you back to
you. Like that's what I think about
when I think about that word. So what does comfort mean for
you? For different people?
It's different things like, you know, maybe self-care can be
tied on it, not just luxury, butthat might be something for

(29:56):
somebody like having a luxuriousexperience, going to a nice spa,
maybe travelling and staying in nice places.
Like, yeah, being surrounded like by luxury like that, that's
comfort for you. Safety, a lot of us don't even
think about it, but being emotionally safe with people and
just even general safety, that'sa sense of comfort.
Think about like when you're a kid and if you don't feel like

(30:19):
your home is a safe space, how that can be distressing to you
and, you know, 'cause trauma andstuff.
So that peace and like I said, the reassurance that you have
knowing that for me, like for faith, like knowing that God
will have me no matter what I'm going to.
So that comforts me. And I just think about why I
even wanted to do this topic because obviously we're going
through some crazy times. I think I watched the news

(30:40):
yesterday and it was listing allthe car companies that were
getting rid of like, I think 40%of their staff.
So like a lot of these auto companies were laying off
people. So it's rough times out here.
It's really rough times out here.
And so just, you know, kind of caring from what we talked about
last week with resiliency this week, I just kind of wanted us
to kind of rest in that and think about the difference that

(31:01):
it makes in our lives. So if you're in a place where
like you haven't found that yet,I feel like it is tied to peace.
And this year we're trying to bemore easeful.
Like we started the year at ease.
Like we said life was going to happen.
So it was probably good that we eased into the year and now
we're here like what about to be5 months in?
We're almost at the end of the fourth month.
So it's like, if you haven't found a way to cultivate it yet,

(31:24):
this is the time because there'sgoing to be so much coming for
us, so much, you know, happeningthat you have to find the way to
bring yourself or else you will be at the mercy of this system.
So hopefully this episode will kind of help you identify ways
like maybe where you could work better on it and improve.
But when it comes to faith, I want to express that you can

(31:44):
even be comforted when you're going through the rough patches.
Are the rough patches hard when you're going through them?
Absolutely. Sometimes do you wish that you
didn't have to? Of course.
But there's a comfort knowing that, OK, I've been through this
before and I've made it, so thistime won't be any different.
So it might feel like it's roughright now.

(32:05):
It might feel like there's no way for me to come out of this,
but I will get through it because what God has never
failed me. He didn't fail me like
yesterday. He didn't fail me the day before
that. He's always shown up for me.
I'm going to have what I need when I need it, and I just have
to be open to the idea that it'snot going to come in the way
sometimes that I've imagined it or how I want it to be packaged.

(32:26):
But He's going to give me what Ineed and give it to me at the
right time. So knowing the difference and,
you know, understanding that it doesn't mean that there won't be
trouble, but it's almost like when you have hope, like your
comfort in God and what he provides for you and what he
brings to your life is tied to your ability to be hopeful.
Like you're hopeful that tomorrow will be better.

(32:46):
You are hopeful that what you are experiencing today will not
last always. You're hopeful that even when
you're down, there'll be anothertime when you'll be up.
Because why? He's a faithful God.
He will always show up for you. He will always be there.
So you rest assured knowing thatlike that is faith in general
because we don't see it, but we feel it.
It's not something tangible, butit has had real life things

(33:10):
happening for you that you have faith and know that, OK, God
will carry me. He does have me.
So let's see what are the thingsthat we do for us that brings
comfort, right? So obviously I talked about it
already going to, you know, get your nails done, do these
things, self-care, all of that. But then sometimes it's like
resting in people to like havingpeople that are like a safe

(33:33):
space, like people that you know, no matter what, they can
be there for you. They can love up on you, They
can listen. Sometimes they don't even have
to always talk or give you advice, but they're just good
listeners, right? And then doing it for within
yourself too. We've always talked about, you
know, finding that with other people, finding people in your
life, having that community, allof that, that's great.

(33:54):
But I am encouraging PU to be able to sit in your own quiet
moment, to be able to find peacewithin yourself, to say, OK, I
am going to take this time of prayer.
I'm going to take this time of worship and meet God and, you
know, be in his presence and, you know, worship and pray and
do all these things. And when you're going through

(34:15):
that rough time, that can be a place of you like rejuvenating
yourself. So if you already don't have
that in your practice, I encourage you to.
Like one of the things that I started to do that a lot of
times I have to call myself out and be like, Oh my gosh, I've
kind of slacked on it is making sure the first thing I do in the
morning is like read my devotional, read the Bible and
have that time. And other times, like I'm doing

(34:37):
something else or I'm being distracted.
But it's so important, like starting your day on that note.
And especially when times are rough and you're going through,
you know, trials and tribulations, spending that time
with him, spending the time in his word is going to give you
that sense of peace and equip you to then start the day and go
through your day and change yourmindset, change how you

(34:58):
experiencing things so that you will be able to make it.
Next thing that I have on here is finding comfort in love.
You know, that one's kind of tricky because when you think of
love, you always think of like apartner, but love comes in so
many ways, right? Like can be a partner, you can
have that it can be friends, it can be family, it can be, you
know, you going through your healing journey like nurturing

(35:19):
that young kid in you that maybethere was something that they
didn't have as you're healing through your trauma, healing
through your stuff that you're getting to.
I just think of like love, not just romantic love, but like I
said, friends, family, but even that self love.
And that's the stage that I am at now.
It's like all the other types isimportant.
It's good to have that, but I want the self love like that is

(35:41):
important where I honor myself, I accept myself.
I see myself for who I am, all facets of me and I love me for
me. And you know when you can be a
safe space for other people because we said it, reciprocity.
So you want people that are a safe space and then you
yourself, you want to be a safe space for people.
And so it's important that you yourself that you hold space for

(36:04):
people. You are a comforting person, you
are a good listener. And sometimes that can be hard
depending on the kind of personality you have.
Like I tend to be in like fix itmode.
So if somebody comes to me and they're having issues or
whatever, I want to fix it. And I have to learn.
Sometimes all I can do or all that person really wants is for
me to have the ability to listenand not give any advice, not

(36:26):
tell them what I'm going to do, not tell them how I'm going to
do it, but just listen. And so you be in the safe space
in that way that can be bring a sense of comfort for other
people. So meeting people where they
are, giving them what they need.And sometimes that just means
that you are not going to be theone talking at them, giving them
advice like just having your presence, your presence being

(36:48):
enough, that's also good enough.And then in life itself, I think
when you're living a comfortablelife, like you just appreciate
everything around you more. So finding the beauty in your
routines, finding the things that you do.
My husband asked me to do something for him yesterday and
I told him I said, I don't want to do it, but I'm going to do
it. And at the time, like he was
kind of like, what? Like what?

(37:09):
What does that mean? Like I guess I was thinking out
loud, but I'm like, it's the last thing I want to do, but I'm
going to do it anyways because you're my husband and I love you
and I'm going to be there for you.
You asked me to do something foryou.
You need me to be there. I'm going to show up in that.
And then like after we had a conversation, what he was saying
was like, well, I just wanted tobe in a place like, where do you
find joy in doing the things forme?
Because you asked me to do things and I don't always want

(37:30):
to do them, and I find joy in doing them for you.
So then I was like, well, it doesn't mean I wasn't joyful in
doing it, but I'm just letting you know.
Like it's the last thing I want to do, but I'm going to do it
anyways. I felt like it was a lot of
semantics on like how men and women communicate, but that
routine like that we have built the things that we have.
Like that in itself is comforting for me knowing that,

(37:51):
OK, I'm going to do this with him.
I'm going to do this with the kids.
I'm going to, you know, like sometimes, yes, it wears me out.
But then every now and then I stop and I think, OK, like this
is something that I had hoped for that I imagined that I will
have. And then now I have it.
So it's like even the things that you struggle with, they're
like, Oh my gosh, I got to take the kids to this activity again
or I got to cook another meal again.

(38:12):
Like your daily routines and thethings that you're doing every
day, changing the perspective onmaybe like looking at them
differently. Like, yes, it's tiring and it's
exhausting, but it's also a blessing because there was a
time when I wished and hoped andimagined this that I'm living
through. So yeah, finding the beauty in
your routines. And of course, we've already
talked at length about the beauty part, like taking care of

(38:32):
yourself and all of that. You got to do it.
You know, as ladies, we have to take care of ourselves.
So that Lady talking about people wearing makeup and
lashes, you don't know what thatdoes for that nurse getting up,
putting on her makeup, doing herhair and whatever the nails.
Like I said, we all know we should not have those.
I agree with you there. If somebody was, you know, a
professional and they showed up and, you know, their chests were

(38:53):
showing, I can agree with that. But like I said, I'm a woman of
a certain field, so I also know sometimes you don't try to, but
they'd be showing. OK, so I totally get it.
Like, but that's all part of people's beauty routine.
Like that's part of their comfort, that's part of their
self-care. And that's why I was saying that
girl was not even equipped to have this conversation because
oh Lord Jesus. And then surrendering like at

(39:15):
first, it's like the most crazy thing, surrendering to the
process, surrendering to your life, surrendering to everything
as it is at first, sometimes it's like the most crazy thing
that you can imagine. But then it brings you so much
peace. Like I'm at the point in my life
where I'm like, it doesn't even matter.
Anybody that's connected to me, what they have going on to a
certain degree, it's not going to affect me.

(39:38):
Like it's a decision I've made. Like after this last route of
everything that I experienced, I'm like, I have to get to the
point where it's like no matter what's happening, I'm going to
feel what I feel because I'm an empath.
I feel emotions, I feel things, but it's like I am making up my
mind where it's like no matter what's going on around me, I
have to always surrender to the process and be like, OK, there's

(39:59):
something here. And once I let go of that, I
feel like some of my level of discomfort melts away.
Like that's the God and his truth.
Like I just feel like some of myjust like the things that I'm
then struggling with that I'm fighting with that.
I'm just like, why? Why must it be this way?
And dah dah dah dah. But it's like.
Just let it be because that's what has to be right now.
And once I do that, it eases some of that tension for me.

(40:20):
So I advise you to do the same thing, like practicing that
surrender in your life. Like pray about it, go about
life, give life everything you've got.
But there are certain areas likeonce you start seeing that it's
like I'm doing everything and it's just not coming together.
Like let me surrender to this and let me just let it be and
let things happen. And it's going to come together.

(40:40):
And when that thing comes together, it's going to be way
more better than anything I could have ever imagined or
done. So it's like, just let it be.
Just let it be. And comfort doesn't always mean
settling. Sometimes it just means being
still. So like I said, maybe if you're
trying to make something happen,it's not moving and shaking the
way that it needs to. Maybe sometimes you just need to
withdraw, be quiet from it and then take that time to ask your

(41:02):
questions, maybe figure out yourwhy.
Maybe you're at the point where maybe reevaluations need to be
done as to you know why you're doing what you're doing.
What is it that you're trying todo?
Because maybe when you ask yourself those questions, it
helps you to kind of re strategize things.
So it's like being still, being OK with things not moving.
Sometimes that is comforting in itself because it's like, OK,
I'm taking the time that I need to analyze this thing and

(41:26):
hopefully get to a better answer, get to a better
destination. And then contentment.
Oh my gosh, contentment. I was used to think I was a
content person. I was used to think that, you
know, I was OK having what I have.
And then in the age of social media, that changed, right?
Because when you have like all these people constantly like
influencing you by things and dothings, then you realize, OK,

(41:47):
you started. It's like, I see something.
I oh, let me go and get it. Oh, I saw this, let me go and
get it. Like social media was kind of
teaching us how to be discontentwith our lives to say, oh, OK, I
like this thing and maybe give it some thought, but knowing
that, OK, it's not everything that I see that I'm going to get
or going to have. And I had to be honest with
myself because I was like, wait,everything that I see, if I see
that I'm like, oh, let me go check how much, oh, did they get

(42:08):
it off Amazon? Let me go clean.
And it's like learning how to becontent with what you have,
learning how to be OK with whereyou are, like accepting things
for what they are, learning to be happy with whatever little,
big, small, whatever it is that you have.
And then there will be room for more.
And when it's peaceful, like that is so much better.
You can actually enjoy it when you have to be struggling and,

(42:30):
and doing all that to get something.
When you do get it now you're soexhausted, you can enjoy that
which you've gotten. So learning to slow down.
Like for me, that was a lesson that I needed to learn.
Like I can't get everything at once.
I shouldn't get everything at once.
And if I'm running myself raggedy trying to get everything
at once, then I need to sit downsomewhere and have a moment or
two or three and just kind of like, take things easy, take it

(42:53):
in and just, you know, absorb. So learning to be content,
learning to be at ease, Life is not perfect.
Let go of that idea of perfectionism.
Like I'm at the place where it'slike, take it or leave it.
Like I said the other day, I say, yes, I am a Christian.
But if you've listened to this podcast enough, I've told you,
like, there have been times whenI'm mad and I'm like bloopity,
bloop, bloop. And I come back and I know I

(43:14):
shouldn't be saying that. And I'm praying and I'm working
towards it. I'm like, OK, sometimes my anger
gets the best of me. So I have to learn how to
control it. And yes, there are people who
are going to come around me and they're going to try to trigger
me and they're going to try to do all these things, but it's
still my job to make sure I havemyself under composure.
And it was so crazy like becausethe other day I was like joking
about it, but it really was coming from a place to hurt

(43:34):
because I was like, I feel like sometimes God is testing me and
I keep failing every test. And then there's a part of me
that I then caught myself and I was like, no, I'm not failing
every test. Like I'm just being human.
Like he's testing me in this area because it's the area I
have to keep working on. So that's what it identifies for
me. But it's how I was imagining it
because like, I'm still coming from that place where it's like
I'm taking a test and I'm failing or passing.

(43:56):
And it's like there's no Gray area for me.
Like if I'm doing something and I'm like, Oh my gosh, I'm
failing. Like it's a very deep thing for
me. Like, it disturbs my, you know,
so when I thought about it that way, I was like, oh, that is so
true. Like all it could be is that
these are areas that I still need to work on.
And so that's why they keep coming up and they keep showing

(44:16):
up. And when I conquer it, because
then I had to think about other areas that I was for a week at
that I could not see that. Now I look back at it, I'm like,
girl, the amount of growth that you have gone through.
But yeah, that's why I'm not getting those tests anymore
because I've learned what I needed to learn.
So these particular areas that Ifelt like God has been trying me
on for the last couple months that I then I come back to
afterwards and I'm like, I failed.

(44:37):
No, I still have to keep workingon it.
There is growth there. That's where my growth is at in
this moment. So I challenge you to think of
it the same way for you. Like if there's anything you're
going through in your life that you're just like, man, I keep
failing, I'm just failing. Reprogram, restructure how
you're looking at it. Keep saying there's still more
growth here. There's still more work for me
to do here. And that in itself should bring

(44:58):
you a better sense of ease and comfort with the whole thing,
right? Because it's like, okay, that
pressure now of like pass, fail A or F, like that's not the
essence here. The essence is, what am I
supposed to get from this? What am I supposed to learn
here? And who am I going to be at the
other end? So that's my thing for you.
So I'm going to wrap it up because I feel like we've had a
good discussion today and I justwant to have you just think

(45:21):
about it. So think about what are the ways
you find yourself? What are the ways you find
comfort for yourself physically,spiritually, you know, mentally,
what are the places that you do?Journaling is great.
Sometimes that's even a great thing.
And you know, you write down your feelings, you're able to
put them pen to paper. Sometimes I'm a better person
writing than I am speaking. I can be awkward sometimes.
And sometimes, like you're sharing something with me that's

(45:42):
maybe hurtful indeed. And then I'm trying to relate to
you. And in my effort to relate to
you, then I'm speaking or sayingsomething that I shouldn't be
saying. But sometimes it's because my
mouth starts speaking before my head's finished thinking.
But when I can write it down, I can be much more expressive in
that way and much more intentional with what I'm
saying. And it's just a better thing.
So if you like to journal, if you write to write down your

(46:03):
feelings, I encourage you to do that as well.
But think about how am I findingmy comfort?
And if those things that you're doing right now to comfort
yourself, they're not healthy, start working on them, start
changing them. Like if you're drinking to find
comfort, like start doing something else, start
exercising, start going for walks and said anytime you get
the urge, like maybe smoking waslike every time I'm stressed, I
want to be comforted with the cigarette.
Let me start replacing with something else that's better for

(46:25):
me, that's healthier for me. So analyze your life.
Look at the ways that you comfort yourself.
You know, we're not supposed to comfort ourselves with food.
There are certain foods that it's like, Oh my gosh, when my
mom cooks that soup, it's yeah, that's a different thing.
But every time you're going through an emotional thing or
trauma or whatever it is that's happening to you, you are eating
and eating that's not a healthy way.
So it's like I have to look at the ways I'm comforting myself

(46:48):
and making sure that they are actually good for me and leading
to a better me. And it takes a lot of work and
it takes honesty because you know, sometimes the things that
you're good at doing or that youhave been doing, you'll find a
way to justify it 500 million times.
But you know, deep within yourself you'd be like, OK,
every time I'm going through this, I'm smoking.
Like are you supposed to be smoking?
Is that good for you if you end up needing like a transplant

(47:09):
later on? Like, are you going to be mad at
yourself that you put yourself in that situation?
OK, so then what are we going todo to change it?
How are we going to be better? Your body is a temple.
So how are you treating it like it is the honesty Like, so don't
just do surface level stuff. Really look at yourself like it
can be in another person. That one exists too.
We don't talk about that enough,right?
Like it can be in another person.

(47:30):
Like you are finding comfort in that individual.
You're finding comfort in that act that you're doing with that
individual instead of dealing with your actual feelings, what
you're going through. So it's like I'm feeling this
kind of way. So then I sleep with this person
or I'm, you know, you know, likethat's not healthy.
That's not healthy too. So I ask you to just examine all
areas of your life and to continue with, you know, where

(47:51):
we're going with this series. I just hope that you just feel
wrapped up in love, that first the love of God, that you're
able to just see his love all around you.
He uses people, but sometimes his love, his presence is there
in nature, is there in your quiet times.
So I hope and pray for you that you feel the presence of God and
you feel them all around you andthat you have a steadiness in

(48:13):
life. Like I joke about it all the
time because I'm like, it's justthe stage in life that I'm in.
So I'm like, I want to be lovelyeven in chaos, but it's like
understanding that that's what God wants for me.
Like everything around my life might be crazy sometimes and
it's going to be crazy sometimes.
And sometimes I'm like, I don't know how I'm going to make it.
But again, when I surrender and I let go and I let things be the

(48:34):
way He wants it to be, it will work out.
It will be OK. So you know, all of that stuff
that might be happening right now in the world around us,
knowing that God truly wants youto be steady.
God truly wants you to be at peace in the midst of chaos.
Like that's where he works the best.
I was watching a preaching by Priscilla Shire and she was
trying to explain why the storm can be happening.

(48:56):
But in the eye of the storm, that's where the calmness is.
So I leave you with that, like find your eye, find your
steadiness where it's like everything might be rocking,
everything might be going. And that's when people will look
at you and be like, I don't knowhow the heck you doing that?
Like, don't you see the fire burning and that fire burning
and over there going off and this?
And it's like, OK, because I look to him, he directs me.

(49:19):
I mean, don't joke about it. I pray about everything like, oh
God, should I be doing this? There's something he has been
telling me for like the past month and it has to do like with
me healing a failure that I had in the past.
And it's like, this is the time.And he's been telling me this is
the time. And what I've learned after last
year is like when God is speaking to me, I'm not going to
wait two months, three months, five months, six months.

(49:40):
I'm going to do it now. So this thing he's been telling
me, this is the time. And I told myself this week I'm
going to take the first step towards it.
It's scary as heck, but I know that whatever is going to come
the way, I might have those samefeelings again when I get there.
But I pray that I've experiencedenough, that I've learned enough
lessons, that even if I have thesame experience, the outcome
will not be the same again. So I'm willing to still step out

(50:03):
here by faith because that is what faith means.
So I'm going to keep trying, ButI encourage you to do the same
thing in your life. Pray about everything.
Consult him with everything and even when life is raging, it's
going around and especially these times you have to learn
where it's like all of this stuff is going to be happening,
but find your eye of the storm. Stay steady, stay focused still,

(50:24):
you know, live lovely in the midst of the chaos cause the
chaos is there. The world is chaotic as we know
it, but you're creating your little slice of heaven.
Like that's like the essence of of what I'm trying to say with,
you know, my platform is like that loveliness.
It's not because it's a fakenessof like perfection all the time.
It's knowing through God I can achieve that.

(50:45):
I can have that because he's with me.
Regardless of everything that can be going on, I can be rest
assured that it's going to turn out OK.
It's going to be lovely. It's going to be just fine.
So I leave you guys with that. I hope you guys have a wonderful
weekend. Like I said, I am going to watch
Sinners. I wanna go out to like nice
restaurant and enjoy a date night with my hubby.

(51:07):
So that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna have a great dinner.
I'm gonna make him spend some good money and then I'm gonna go
see Sinners. And then it's my mother's
birthday this weekend, so I wantto do something nice and
fabulous for her. Like I said, I love hosting
parties and stuff, so I'm going to surprise her with something
this weekend and hopefully she enjoys it.
But yeah, I'm just spending timewith my loved ones, basking in,

(51:28):
you know, my relationships that I do have, that I value so much.
And I hope the same is being done with you on your end, that
no matter what is happening in your life, you will have your
friends, your family, yourself, a love on yourself.
There's nothing wrong. I mean, I did that like what,
two months ago? And I told myself once 1/4 I
need to have a me date time. Like, there's nothing wrong with

(51:50):
you going to the movies by yourself, treating yourself to
that nice dinner, taking yourself out because you deserve
it. So don't wait for anybody to do
it for you. Find your comfort in life, go
through anything that you're going through knowing that God's
got you, you're going to make it, it's going to work out.
And He wants the steadiness for you.
He wants the loveliness for you.He wants the self love for you.

(52:13):
He wants the partner love for you.
You know, if you have somebody in your life and if you're not
there yet, you continue to work on yourself and that person will
come along. And then remember, you're not
doing a test. It's not who wins and who's
getting the test and who's passing the test.
It's what am I learning? What am I getting from this?
And so I leave you guys with that.
I hope you guys have a wonderful, wonderful weekend.
Let's see, I feel like because Idid all the music, the albums

(52:35):
that I was listening to, I almost don't even have anything
that I want to add because I I spent such a big time in the
beginning talking about that. But let's see what's on my
playlist recently. I like this proud of me song by
Friday and Meek Mill. So that's going to be my song of
the week, Proud of me by Friday and Mic Mill Friday.
When he came out last year, he had his moment, like I said last
year, I think it was a year before last, like with the DJ

(52:57):
Khaled song. And then ever since then I've
been listening to his music. And so I like the message that
that song was sending. So my husband actually played it
and then I was like, oh, what was this song?
And then I added it to my playlist.
So he's actually the one that put me on to that.
So Friday and Mic Mill proud of me and for Your Worship song,
let me see what I added to the playlist.
Let me see what I got if I should hit you guys with a new

(53:19):
one or if I should give you guysa oldie but goodie.
That's what I'm trying to decide.
That's what I'm trying to decide.
It's hard though. It's hard.
It's hard. I'm like, should I hit you guys
with a new one or should I give you guys?
You know what? I am going to hit you guys with
a good one Because I feel like given like what we just talked
about and kind of like what we talked about last week when you

(53:41):
say, you know, everybody's goingthrough rough times and all
that. Let's see, you carried me by
Jacalyn Carr, Tasha Cobbs and Blanca.
I hope I haven't suggested that before, but I just feel like
this is the opportune time for that.
And then Jacalyn has a new song.I added that to my playlist as
well, so I'll share 2 with you. I'll bless y'all with two this
week, OK? Don't you never say I never gave

(54:03):
y'all nothing. Don't ever say I never gave you
nothing. I give you more.
I give you more than what I planned.
I give you more than what was there.
Jaylene new song is called Don'tFaint.
I added that to my playlist likethe first time I heard it.
And then this other one that I just recommended to you is the
older one with her and Tasha Cobbs is called You Carried Me.
That's such a beautiful, beautiful song.
I love it. And I will catch you guys on the

(54:23):
next one. Bye, bye.
Now. You just finished an episode of
Banta with Tony. Did you like it?
I hope you had a great time and that you have some takeaways
from this episode. But before you go, I want to ask
you one thing and that is to share this episode or this
entire podcast with a friend, family member or acquaintance.

(54:47):
Because remember, when you have something good, you need to talk
about it, you need to share it and you need to shout it from
the rooftops. So go on and let people know in
your life that you have this wonderful podcast that you would
like to share with them. I appreciate you.
I appreciate your time, your support and everything else in
between. And remember, if you do it, I
have to talk about it. Have a great week.