Catch up on life, health, boundaries and nearly being 40

Let's Chat! send us a message, question or a confession to unpack!

We are back! It's been a minute since our last episode, so we catch up with each other on what's been happening, from holidays to surgery and friendships, and reflect on nearly hitting 40, midlife milestones and what we want out of our lives as we head into the next chapter; we explore how hard it can be and the empowerment of setting boundaries and embracing personal growth. We navigate the ups and downs of relationships, body positivity, and the societal pressures of aging, and we celebrate the joy of living authentically. We chat about Christmas traditions, writing for self-expression, and dreams of leaving the silly season behind to hit the beautiful Bali.

Connect with Rose and Chrystal on Instagram for more stories and fun mini-weekly catch-ups.
DM the girls, get involved with the conversations, and feel free to ask questions!
@baringitall_thepodcast
Rose Oates
@roseoates_
Chrystal Russell
@chrystalrussell_

And don’t forget to take care of yourself and each other -

With Love Rose & Chrystal x

Episode Transcript

Rose Oates (00:05):
Welcome to Bearing it All with Rose and Crystal.

Chrystal (00:08):
Where the conversations get real emotions
run raw and nothing is filtered.

Rose Oates (00:13):
Buckle up because we're Bearing it All deep,
diving into everything frommotherhood to mental health and
everything in between.
We want to get to know you,each other and our bodies and
things are going to get spicy.
Are you ready for it?
Let's do it.
Each other and our bodies andthings are gonna get spicy.

Chrystal (00:25):
Raspassy, are you ready for it?
Let's do it.
Welcome back to another episodeof Bearing it.

Rose Oates (00:35):
All with.
Rose and Crystal.
Do you like my little intro?
I know we haven't been back fora while now.

Chrystal (00:42):
I'm feeling a bit of dopamine hit from this.

Rose Oates (00:45):
I know I came in the studio and it has that certain
musty smell and I was a bit likeaw.
It smells like an old lady'sshoe box it does.
But I felt like it was likenostalgic.
I felt happy, I was like Ican't wait to sit down and
record and just unwind.
And we do most of our likechats pre like potty and we just
like download with each otherand then we get into the potty.
But today we're justdownloading with you guys, we're

(01:06):
just letting it.

Chrystal (01:07):
It's like keeping up with the Kardashians, but like
keeping up with Rose and Crystal.
Yeah.

Rose Oates (01:11):
What have we been doing?
Except our life isn't asglamorous, or I?

Chrystal (01:16):
don't know about that, I don't have.

Rose Oates (01:17):
Well, it's exciting.

Chrystal (01:18):
I don't have a private jet, we've all got.
Well, you've got 100 kids likeKim, so, yeah, but I actually
look after her.
That is true, that is true.
Well, how long did we actuallyhave off?
Because I was trying to thinkabout it and I was like was it
four weeks?
Maybe it was six weeks.

Rose Oates (01:34):
It could have been six weeks now.
Yeah, it would have absolutelybeen six weeks.
My surgery was.
I think I'm eight weeks out now.
No, it might be eight weeks.
Seven is longer.
Two months, that went so fast.

Chrystal (01:48):
It did, so you went away to Bali for two weeks yeah.

Rose Oates (01:50):
When did I go?

Chrystal (01:50):
I can't remember September, but oh my God, we had
a good break.

Rose Oates (01:54):
We had a good break.
It was good.
How was Bali anyway?

Chrystal (02:01):
Bali was fun but also exhausting.

Rose Oates (02:05):
You took the kids.
It was two weeks.

Chrystal (02:07):
Yeah, took the kids and you know what, like you
would think traveling with kidsthat are 10 and 13, life would
be a breeze, you would thinkit'd be a bit easier.
No way, fuckers.

Rose Oates (02:18):
Why.

Chrystal (02:19):
Because Natalia whinged the entire time that her
feet hurt, she was sweating,she was hot, the flies just in
general I don't even know if itwas flies, but just bugs in
general.
Lizard oh my God, there's alizard.
I'm like, yes, babe, they livehere.
There's so many lizards.
She just was annoying, likeconstantly Bored.
You think she just wanted to beon FaceTime with her friends

(02:40):
24-7.
I was like we have come to aninternational country for a
holiday and you just want to.

Rose Oates (02:47):
FaceTime your friends.
Yeah, actually I found likewhen my girls were there in
January, we just had to let thembe.
They'd go back into the roomand they'd get on it like I
don't know what their socialsare, snapchat, all of that, and
they just want to be chatting totheir friends and having a real
big chill moment on the phones.

Chrystal (03:02):
Don't judge me as a parent, though Like there was a
few nights where, like we wentto dinner just outside the hotel
yeah, not far.
I left her behind.
I was like lock the bedroomlock the hotel door.
No, he came, she was by herselfand I was like fuck, I better
not have a Maddie McCann on mysituation happening here.
But then I was like fuck, ifanyone does steal her, they'll

(03:24):
give her back within like lessthan 24 minutes.

Rose Oates (03:27):
You just really needed a break.

Chrystal (03:29):
No, and she just wanted to eat room service and
be on her phone.
So I was like you know what,lock the door and I'll FaceTime
you just to double check thatyou're all good, yeah, but it's
like going downstairs.
What do I do?
I can't drag her.

Rose Oates (03:40):
No, they don't want to, and you don't want to eat
room service, so stuff that.
But it's kind of like hard rock, like you can go downstairs to
Jamie's and just eat downstairs.

Chrystal (03:49):
So you're not really leaving the vicinity?
Yeah, that's right, I wasn'ttoo far away.
I was literally like justoutside.

Rose Oates (03:54):
Yeah.
Anyway, haters come at me.
I know you know what Peoplejudge for everything.
I saw some lady like having ago at parents for you know
giving their kids cereal, and soI was showing everyone what I
got from Costco today.

Chrystal (04:09):
And I felt the ginormous box of Cheetos and
Milo.

Rose Oates (04:13):
I got the huge, two double huge boxes of fucking
Milo cereal and then theCheerios.

Chrystal (04:19):
Let's be honest in your household that's going to
be gone in like three days.

Rose Oates (04:23):
That's my point and I was like you know, they're
wanting it for breakfast andthey're wanting it for afternoon
snacks and sometimes afterdinner, and I'm just like, just
give the give mamas a break,it's not the worst thing they
could eat.
No, it's not like they'reeating shit 24, seven.
Like yes, they have a bit ofsugar in their cereal, but
they're not eating like crap allfucking day in their cereal.
But they're not eating likecrap all fucking day.

Chrystal (04:43):
Yeah, man, my kids eat Froot Loops Also, come at me.

Rose Oates (04:46):
I just I am sick of the judgment.
I'm like give us a break,christmas is coming up, let me
just give my kids a cereal.
As soon as I picked up that box, I feared that when I was
showing it on Instagram,someone's going to be like oh my
God, look at the shit you giveyour kids.

Chrystal (05:01):
I'm sure it's going to happen, like I'm sure 100%.
But who gives a?
You know I was like stopjudging.
But also, like my dear friendover here, both of us are
actually celiacs.
Like what are the chances, Iknow, and we're both dickheads
because we just like love bread,we love dabbling with a little
bit of wheat.

(05:21):
But our guts do not like us and, unfortunately for you, you got
little bit of wheat.
Our guts do not like us andunfortunately for you, you've
got a bit of ulcerative colitis.

Rose Oates (05:27):
Yeah, so mine is.
So I'm celiac.
It doesn't mean you haveulcerative colitis.
So I've recently found out thatI've got ulcerative colitis and
I also had a bowel resection.

Chrystal (05:39):
But ulcerative colitis can come from eating wheat,
right?
I'm pretty sure.
Don't know, I think you canirritate from eating things that
you're not supposed to eat.

Rose Oates (05:49):
Yeah, so it's no more dabbling in the wheat area
for me, because I've had partsof my bowels cut out.
So you went to Bali and we wereoriginally going to go together
as families.
I was pissed off at you.

Chrystal (06:01):
I was like, why do you have to have like a serious
surgery?

Rose Oates (06:05):
I was pissed off at you.
I was like, why do you have tohave like a serious surgery?
Yeah, I was like.
And then I was like gettingFOMO because I was like, why do
I have to have a serious surgeryright now?
So I found out probably twomonths before we were due to
like book yeah or leave, andthat was it.
It was all on because somepeople were like, oh, why don't
you?
Because you can go onmedication to manage ulcerative
colitis.
But my bow bowels were damagedlike really bad.
I was bleeding down there.

(06:27):
There was all sorts of stuffgoing on.
And they also found endo, likeendometriosis While they were
doing surgery, while they weredoing surgery.
So I was like that's a fuckingproblem for another day.

Chrystal (06:40):
So that's something I'm going to have to do.
Did that make you be like ohyeah, that makes sense, or not,
really?

Rose Oates (06:46):
Well, the thing is because I was already getting so
much pain and discomfort withmy stomach and my gut issues for
so long.
I've been suffering with thislike on and off for like years,
but this last past year like hasbeen intense.
You've been struggling.
I've been going to the doctorand saying like I'm so tired,
I'm not feeling well, my guts islike constantly irritated.

(07:09):
Every time I eat I get burning,and it was constantly put down
to oh, like you're probablyeating wheat or you know you do
have four kids, you've got a bigfamily, you work full-time
hours, your husband works away,so you know, of course you're
tired, babe.
So like fobbed off, you know,typical thing.
As, like a female and a woman,I think you really do have to

(07:29):
advocate for yourself.

Chrystal (07:31):
The only issue with this I get annoyed about is like
if you had have left this anylonger, you could literally have
a stoma bag.
Yes, yep, that is the scarything.
Like, imagine if you had haveleft this another year.
I don't think I could have.

Rose Oates (07:49):
No, if you had left this another year, then what I
don't think I could have.
No, my surgeon was like if youhe goes, I can guarantee you
that at least by the end of theyear you would have ended up in
emergency surgery and you wouldhave ended up in hospital for a
month.
Shit, that's how bad it couldhave got, and definitely I could
have ended up with an ostomybag.
So even during that surgery, Icould have ended up with a
temporary stoma and ostomy bag.
And the first thing I did whenI woke up was stress out because
he said look, I'm just lettingyou know that if I have to,

(08:11):
we're going to do it, becausewe're not, you know, we're going
to do it properly.
And I was like so I wake up outof like in recovery and I'm
like, oh, do I have a poo bag?
Do I have a poo bag?
And everyone's like the nursescome running over, I think,
because I'm like in and out, andthey were like no, roseanne,
you haven't soiled yourself.
And I was like, no, do I have apoo bag?
And they're like, oh, a poo bag, oh, an ostomy bag, no, no, we

(08:37):
didn't have to do a stomabecause you've also got to mark
your stoma.
Oh right, so you're going forsurgery, like because everybody
where they see.

Chrystal (08:50):
Did they do that?
Yeah, I had to, so I'm allowedto mark my own, where you would
want.

Rose Oates (08:51):
So they're like this is the vicinity, where do you
want to stop it?
I did not know.
You mark it yourself oftenbecause if I sit down, like
there's certain places that itwould be uncomfortable so I put
it here because then it wouldsit flat when I'm sitting like.

Chrystal (09:00):
Also, you know how high your pants.
Yes, you wear your pants andstuff.

Rose Oates (09:03):
I wear my pants, and if I do it any lower I've got
like another roll.
So I don't want it to tuck intomy roll.
You know my big I did not knowthat, that was an option.
I didn't know.
You got to choose your ownstoma.
I need to ask my cousin aboutthis, because he's got a stoma
bag.

(09:23):
Yeah, like did they remove allthese?

Chrystal (09:26):
I can't remember.
I think so.
Yeah, I don't know how it works, but anyways, similar situation
Severe ulcerative colitis.
Like sorry Matt for saying this, but do you know that when you
have a stoma bag they sew upyour bum hole?
I didn't know that.

Rose Oates (09:40):
That's when you've got it permanently Permanent.

Chrystal (09:43):
Yeah, you have no bum hole.

Rose Oates (09:44):
Well, you've got a bum hole.

Chrystal (09:46):
There's no hole.

Rose Oates (09:47):
But there's no actual hole.

Chrystal (09:48):
They stitch it up Like if you moon somebody, imagine
that.
It's just a perfect littletight.
It's just a white nothing.

Rose Oates (09:54):
Oh Well, you don't need it.

Chrystal (09:56):
I know, but I was like imagine never farting again.

Rose Oates (09:59):
Yeah, but you do fart.
Your stoma can fartinvoluntarily, that's the thing
he did, say this.

Chrystal (10:03):
He said that like the bag farts, like he'll be out on
a job site and his bag will justgo like imagine.

Rose Oates (10:10):
You can't even hold it in.
I mean these days, I don'tanyway, I know she farts on me,
the dirty bitch, but you came upto my leg and you just like.

Chrystal (10:20):
You're like my comfort space, Like I could fart on you
and not worry yeah.

Rose Oates (10:24):
I know you don't worry, I could tell Like it was
out.
I was like it was wet, but yeah, no, I was not okay with the
thought of getting a stoma bag.

Chrystal (10:33):
Like I'm quite body positive and like you know, but
I was like come on, I've gonethrough enough.
No, like I feel like you know,having that it's a massive life
change.
Nah, it's a massive life change.

Rose Oates (10:42):
Yeah, I wasn't ready for that and also I was just
like it's just another fuckingthing to worry about and I just
don't have time for it Insteadof taking nappies out with you,
you've got to take one of them.

Chrystal (10:50):
little pouches.
No, if you soil yourself,you've got to change it, you've
got to tip it out.
Can't be bothered.

Rose Oates (10:56):
But in saying that, I just think you know, push
yourself, advocate for yourself.
If you're not feeling well,just keep going to the doctors.
And if you have to changedoctors like I did do it Because
everybody it's not that onedoctor's stupid.
It just means that he mightactually think that that's what

(11:17):
the problem is, and you justmight need a second opinion for
someone that's willing toinvestigate further.
And I just think to myselfthank fuck that I have come to
the bottom of it, because Iactually feel so much better.
I'm not bleeding anymore.
I haven't needed to run to thetoilet quite as often now, so
you've not shit yourself.
I'm not Okay.
Let's be honest.

Chrystal (11:39):
Did you see that post I sent you yesterday?
It was like you know, it's agood day when you haven't shit
yourself, I was like somethinglike that.
I don't know what it was, Iloved it.

Rose Oates (11:46):
It was actually pretty good, you're like when
you're having a bad day.
It was something like whenyou're having a bad day but you
haven't shit yourself, so likeit's not that bad, not that bad.
So, yeah, no, I haven't shatmyself, which on my puppy pads
in the back seat.

Chrystal (12:01):
Just in case I had to rush home today, I had my
Christmas shopping in the bootand I thought do I put all the
bags on my arms to go insidejust to get the car emptied?

Rose Oates (12:13):
or just go inside because it was coming.

Chrystal (12:16):
I had the full-blown cramps.
I was like, oh, this is goingto be power chucking from my
arsehole.

Rose Oates (12:19):
What did you do?
I would have just run in.
Yeah, I ran in.

Chrystal (12:22):
Yeah, I was going to say leave the bags, leave the
bags, I know, but there'ssomething about me that's like
oh, just do the one trip, yeah,yeah.

Rose Oates (12:27):
I'm lazy, yeah, and you have to take everything in
on the one trip?
Yeah, I'm a bit like that.

Chrystal (12:31):
But I left it.

Rose Oates (12:32):
I was like oh, yeah, but that's my like period
bloating, like if you've eatentoo much, if you've eaten wheat
and uracilia, blah, blah, blah,but um, bloating every day and
painful bloating.

(12:53):
Get it checked out, bitches.
Get it checked out, do you knowwhat too, though?

Chrystal (12:57):
like this is the thing with me I am bunny hop doctors
like a lot, but that's because Ibecome known to doctors as like
a hypochondriac.
Yeah, because I always think Ilike you think you're dying.
I always think I'm dying, um,so yeah, and that's also a thing
, though like.
I could actually be dying andthen be like you're a

(13:19):
hypochondriac yeah, this is whyI get annoyed, because people go
with lumps to doctors and thenthey're like no, nothing, it's
nothing.
That's my fear.

Rose Oates (13:25):
Yeah.

Chrystal (13:26):
So I remember one day I'm going off topic here, but I
went and had a blood test done.
I got a phone call and it waslike my white or red blood cells
were high or low, I can'tremember which one.
I went to Dr Google I hadleukemia.
I started calling my family.
I've got leukemia.
I started calling my family.

Rose Oates (13:46):
I've got leukemia.

Chrystal (13:47):
You did, I did.
I'm going to die.
You're convinced?
I'm convinced.
Dr Google told me that if mywhite or red blood cells I can't
remember whatever it was, itwas leading to leukemia.
You were having a panic attack.
Anyway, I rang my doctor and Iwas like I need to get in right
now.
Whatever Went in there andshe's like, babe, you've just
got an infection.

(14:07):
I was like, oh, I don't haveleukemia.
Yeah, see what I mean?
This is why they call me ahypochondriac.

Rose Oates (14:13):
Okay fair, fair, fair.
This is why Dr Google's notthat safe.

Chrystal (14:17):
No, and my doctor, who I saw as I started seeing the
same doctor for my kids.

Rose Oates (14:22):
Yep.

Chrystal (14:23):
Every time I went in there, he'd be like why are you
in here today, crystal?
Did you find a lump or a bumpor something?
You scraped your leg?
This is how he used to talk tome, and he used to just keep
saying to me you didn't need tocome in.
Today, I'm like fuck you, youdo need to keep coming in, I
know.
And so I got annoyed with himand I didn't want to see him
anymore.

Rose Oates (14:43):
You have to leave.
You have to leave him.

Chrystal (14:45):
He knows you too well, he knows me too well.

Rose Oates (14:47):
Yeah, but you probably were coming in for a
lump and a bump and a scratch.
I think I was booked in everythree days.

Chrystal (14:51):
No, I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking.
I'm not that bad, but I don'tknow that's come from something,
probably my mum always tellingme if you do this or do that.

Rose Oates (15:08):
Oh my God, Italian mums yeah, 100% If you catch a
bus you're going to get raped.

Chrystal (15:13):
That's what it was to me.
Jesus Christ, I wasn't allowedto catch a bus until I was 17
years old.

Rose Oates (15:18):
Oh my God, yeah, I thought I was going to catch a
cold.
Catch a cold and like that,cold comes into your feet.
And Vicks Vaporub apparentlysolves everything, though.

Chrystal (15:27):
Also, oh my God, today's just a tangent.
I had like a lump in my neckwhen I was little.

Rose Oates (15:32):
Yes, like a little tiny lump.

Chrystal (15:34):
Yes, the doctor told my mum that it was like a fatty
cystic gland.
Yes, right, don't worry Rose,it'll go away.
Every day she felt that lump.

Rose Oates (15:42):
Yes, Because she thought every day she felt that
lump to see if it was gettingbigger.

Chrystal (15:44):
It's coming from your mum Every day, paranoia, and
then she used to tell people Ihope that lump isn't cancer, I
hope that lump isn't cancer.
So I think she's passed somesort of like genetic thing onto
me where, like, I'm concernedall the time that I'm going to
get cancer.
But my fatty lump did go away.

Rose Oates (15:58):
It did go away.
It's probably somewhere else.
Went away one day.
Your mum was paranoid and thenlike that's where it's come from
.

Chrystal (16:08):
Yeah, and my nonna used to go stop touching it.

Rose Oates (16:10):
You're going to move it around, you're going to pop
it.
Blah, blah, blah.
Anyways, guys, I'm sure you'reactually not the only one.
But then there's your polaropposite.
Me Never goes to the doctor.
You're always like I'll be okay.
I'll be like I'll be fine, I'llbe fine, I'll be fine until I'm

(16:31):
not fine.
But this year I realised thatfor me to go to the doctor
there's something wrong.
Like I don't go, like myhistory shows me never going.

Chrystal (16:44):
But you're also the kind that will be like the
doctor will say, hey, you've gotthis wrong with you and you'll
be like oh yeah, cool, I'll sortthat out in like two years,
yeah yeah, probably, Like I oncehad a broken toe.

Rose Oates (16:52):
I broke my big toe and I think I walked on it for
like I don't know months.
Two months, Can you fix abroken toe?
Yeah, you've got to actuallylike the big toe.
You can.
Oh right, because I've brokentoes before, but I didn't.
Oh, it was hurting, my wholefoot was on fire, Like I could
barely walk on it.
But I just ignore it.
But that's my point.
Don't be, just be somewhere inthe middle, I think.

Chrystal (17:25):
I also was roller skating about two years ago and
I was trying to show off infront of all my daughter's
friends and I was like goingbackwards, like really cute,
yeah, ooh, look at me, I'm Santado, anyways, don't realise that
this woman has fallen over andI go back, flip over the top of
her and land on my knee and it'sbeen sore ever since.

Rose Oates (17:33):
Oh no, that's never getting fixed.

Chrystal (17:34):
Mate, You're too old now, I haven't gone to the
doctor, though it doesn't matter, that's world record.
I didn't go to get it checked.
You didn't a stack, but it'sstill sore.
If I lean on it, it still hurtsToo bad.

Rose Oates (17:43):
It's forever now.
Knees don't get rid of it.
We're too old for that shit,that's true.
Speaking of too old, oh my god,I am going to be 40 in Feb.
My birthday's coming up rightup at my ass.

Chrystal (17:54):
And you're actually pissing me right off.
Angel numbers we were talkingabout this today, sorry, I just
looked at my phone and yeah,it's 444.

Rose Oates (18:09):
I always say that I see 444 and I've seen 222 today.

Chrystal (18:12):
I love a good angel number.
You do.
Why don't you talk about the222, because it's a new number
for you.

Rose Oates (18:17):
You normally see the 444.
444 is what?
Is it like protection, I think,and isn't it like you're on the
right path, or something?

Chrystal (18:25):
But you were reading today what the 222 stands for.
Oh, what did?

Rose Oates (18:27):
222 stand for again.
There's obviously someone onhere that knows it way better
than me, but I will just Googleit.
I am Googling it.
Hold on 222, associated withbalance, collaboration, love and
harmony.
Trust that everything isworking out exactly as it's

(18:48):
supposed to.
Let go and have faith, so okay,that I'm on the right path.
Is that what we're saying?
So, partnership, balance,harmony all good things.
When you see the two in anangel number, it could refer to
relationships with anotherperson or finding balance in
your own life, for example,adjusting your work-life balance
.

Chrystal (19:06):
Okay, that's very interesting.

Rose Oates (19:08):
Yes, this angel number emphasises the importance
of careful consideration.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Keep working towards your goalsand trust that the universe has
your back.

Chrystal (19:19):
I like that.
You probably need a bit of that, because Rosie over here had to
have, I'm going to say,life-changing surgery, because
that's what it is Like you couldhave gotten severely ill and
you made a decision to getyourself sorted, but in turn
with that like any kind of bowelsurgery, intestine surgery,
whatever you have you have to goon this like diet right,

(19:42):
because they don't want you toshit a brick, literally Like
they want you to make sure thatyou're.
You've got to go on this likediet right, yeah, because they
don't want you to shit a brick,literally Like they want you to
make sure that you're You've gotto go to the toilet like, well
and soft, offened and soft, yeah, you can't rupture any of the
stitches down there or you cango septic.

Rose Oates (19:57):
And yeah, it was intense.
I was nervous about the surgeryat first, but then I also
didn't think that recovery wasgoing to be that hard.
Oh yeah, baby, I really likeplayed it down.
I was like I'm going to be fine.
I'm literally going to be like,because they tell you you're
going to be walking straightaway, they get you up day one,

(20:17):
yeah.
And so I was like, give me aweek or two.
I even told my management likemy instant management was like,
look, I need a full week off,but I'll be sweet.
I was dead, I think, for twoweeks.
I really really, I barely gotout of bed First week.
I don't even know where I was.
And then week three, yeah, Iwas struggling.

(20:39):
I was struggling and Craigworks FIFO.
So Craig left on week three andI was stuck at home with the
kids.
Don't get me wrong.
I had family come over.
I had friends come over andjust spend a day with me.
Excuse me.

Chrystal (20:50):
Week three you returned back to the salon too,
and I just remember you walkingin the door and I almost bowled
you over.
Yeah, yeah, you did, because Ihadn't seen you yet and like be
careful, I'm still sore, and Iwas like, oh, I forgot you gave
me the biggest hug you like,came in and like rugby, tacked
me.

Rose Oates (21:05):
I was like I know, I totally didn't even think I had
no energy and I was sore and Iwas bloated and bleh.

Chrystal (21:11):
I just remember you being at the back and you were
like, oh my, I'm sore.
And I was like, should you behere, right?

Rose Oates (21:16):
now I know, but I was at the back, I was doing
some, you know, I was on thecomputer.
I felt like that was fine and Iwas getting very bored at home,
like I was staring at fourwalls 24-7 and I was like I
can't take this anymore.

Chrystal (21:27):
And she didn't have the energy to rearrange her
pantry.

Rose Oates (21:29):
No, so I couldn't even take out a drawer Like I
would do stuff.
If I'm at home, I'll pull out adrawer and reorganise it or
I'll find something.

Chrystal (21:40):
Whatever to do.

Rose Oates (21:46):
Whatever, something, whatever, whatever, just it
won't be important.
But yeah, and then I think aswell, though I think when you
have like big things happen inyour life, like whether that be,
you know, a surgery or evensomeone passing uh work changes,
new, something changes in yourlife and I think sometimes I
don't know if you can agree withthis like you see how people
show up for you 100%.

Chrystal (22:07):
We've already delved into this.
Yes, remember like after mydad's death there was many
people that I was like see ya.

Rose Oates (22:13):
Yeah, for me.
I think I'm turning 40 thisyear and I've gone on about it
this year because it's a bigmilestone and I think I'm not
the only one.
I think I was the same at 30,but something about turning 40,
I feel like it's that realmidlife, we're tipping point.
This whole year has been aboutbuilding myself better, getting

(22:35):
better within myself mind, body,spirit, sorting my life out,
seeing where I wanted to go.
I didn't make any big plans tochange jobs, things like that
but I made plans to be betterand be in a good space and build
my life up in a better way.

Chrystal (22:54):
But even just like, I feel definitely for you, like
you're starting to tolerate lessshit.

Rose Oates (23:00):
Yes, I am a recovering people pleaser very,
very much.
I was raised like that, though,too.
Like don't stir the apple cart,be the good girl, don't cause
trouble.
Dad always used to say to meand he doesn't say it in a bad
way and there's nothing wrongwith it he's like be the
peacemaker.
That was his thing with me.
Don't cause, like you know,when someone's fighting, be the

(23:23):
peacemaker, be the peacemaker.
And as much as it's great tocreate peace, it also created.

Chrystal (23:29):
like Burnout, burnout.
I feel like peacemakers getinto burnout because they're so
like on top of trying to smooththings all over all the time.
Yeah, make things happy foreveryone and you just get so
tired and drained by it.

Rose Oates (23:41):
I think the perfect like analogy for it is when
you're trying to keep everybodyelse happy, you make like the
only person that you leave outis yourself and the only person
that ends up not happy is me.
Yeah, and I'm not saying that Iwasn't happy, but I was
definitely feeling like I wasjust left out, leaving myself
out of the equation.
But what I was saying about thesurgery, like for me, I felt

(24:05):
like I noticed who showed up inmy life, who was present, who
made time for me and I'm notusually a needy person, but this
time, for some reason, it hitdifferent Like you know, who
rang up and checked in and whodropped by my house without
being asked, or people droppedgroceries off or sent food for

(24:28):
the kids, and I was like, sograteful, so touched.
I cried so many times duringthe last eight weeks at the
beauty of what people have doneand like shown me, but also
being shocked at the way thatsome people have acted in the
sense of, like, their lack ofpresence and care factor.

(24:52):
Yeah, and I'm like okay, thishas made me put a lot of
boundaries in place and I'mreally proud of myself, but I
hate it.
I also hate it.

Chrystal (25:01):
Yeah, it makes me feel like shit I think both of us
like we are both people pleasersand I'm exactly the same boat
as you now and I think we've hadthis discussion like most days
yeah, we need to set boundaries.

Rose Oates (25:13):
We absolutely do, but it feels shit to set
boundaries it does.

Chrystal (25:17):
Because not only like, also too, when you put your
foot down and you stand strong,people don't like it, yeah.

Rose Oates (25:23):
and some people are quite forward in telling you how
they don't like it or make itvery known that they are not
happy with the fact that you'reputting in a boundary, that
they've never been used to youputting any boundaries in place.

Chrystal (25:38):
They've never been used to you saying no or you
know, or please don't talk to melike that, or you know I won't
tolerate you doing this orwhatever, or calling them out or
just, you know, pullingyourself away from a situation.

Rose Oates (25:51):
So I'm more of a person that when, like I've
found myself, I'll just pullmyself out.
So I don't need to make a fuss,but if I feel like I'm, not,
she hits reverse.
Yeah, I hit reverse, I'm not,she hits reverse.
Yeah, I hit reverse.
I'm like no, no more for you.
Then I'm not going to doanything else for you because I

(26:12):
know that I'm not wanted orappreciated in this space.
But that has been massive forme because it hurts me to do
that more than people think 100%.

Chrystal (26:16):
When you've been a people pleaser like your whole
entire life, to then change howyou do things, not only is it a
shock for you, but it's amassive shock for them, for
other people Humongous.
I've seen it myself.

Rose Oates (26:28):
You do it a lot.
When I first owned the business.

Chrystal (26:31):
I'm telling you now, I got trampled on.
Yeah, I know, Trampled on likea fucking elephant stampede.

Rose Oates (26:37):
Because you wanted to keep your staff so happy.
You wanted to make it the mostbeautiful workplace.
You wanted to give themeverything and make them feel
valued, but also still be a niceboss.

Chrystal (26:49):
So you are a nice boss , I was getting like I just felt
like I was at ultimate burnout24-7.
And now totally different.
Like now I've set a lot ofboundaries, I'm still trying,
like there's still a part of methat's people pleased.
I don't think we'll ever getrid of that.
Like, I'm still trying, likethey're still a part of me
that's people pleased?

Rose Oates (27:07):
I don't think we'll ever get rid of that like me,
and you're still always going tohave that, but we're only going
to give it to people whodeserve it.
Yes, yeah, that's where it's at.
I think you've like, like Isaid when the way I was trying
to relate it to being 40 is thatI don't want to put my energy
in people or things that don'tdeserve my time anymore, because
I might only have 40 years tolive.
If I'm lucky enough to live to80, I don't want to fucking
waste those years.
I'm in my final.

(27:29):
You know I'm on the other side.
Is this midlife crisis?
Yeah, I think so.
Well, if you live to 80.
Well, yeah, it would be 40,right.
Well, I don't know how manypeople are living to 100.

Chrystal (27:37):
I mean, that's amazing .

Rose Oates (27:38):
So say you're living to an average of 80, 85,.
This could be your midlife andI'm thinking what do I want for
the next 40 years?

Chrystal (27:47):
What do you want?
Yeah, do you know I don't?

Rose Oates (27:50):
Yeah, I do.
I want to live large, larger,larger than life.
I want to be myself, I want tobe more of myself, I want to
travel, I want to enjoy myfamily, I want to just, I don't
know, live authentically hasalways been my thing, and I do

(28:12):
do that quite well, but I thinkI'm just going to say yes to
more of the things that light meup because what I was saying
yes, I was saying yes to thingsand people that were draining me
so much, and we've all gotthose people in our lives that
either fill our cup up or drainus, and it's okay.
You need a balance of both, butyou can't have too many people
that are constantly draining you.
It's toxic.

Chrystal (28:30):
I literally shared something on my story this
morning.
It said one thing I made peacewith in 2024 is that I don't
that.
I don't have to, I don't haveto go beyond.
I don't have to go above andbeyond for others, I don't
always have to be the biggerperson, I don't have to fix what
I didn't break, I don't have toshow up for those who don't

(28:52):
show up for me and I definitelydon't have to sacrifice my own
happiness to please anyone else.
It resonated so hard with me.

Rose Oates (29:02):
Powerful Mate wow.

Chrystal (29:05):
I've just been sharing all the shit on Instagram
lately and people are messagingme going you all right, hun.
I'm like I'm better than ever.

Rose Oates (29:10):
Sometimes it's not about you being not all right,
it's the fact that it's thosemoments where you really like.

Chrystal (29:17):
it resonates with me when you read that out.

Rose Oates (29:19):
I was like I don't have to fix things that I didn't
break.
And how often do we do that?
Fuck that.
I feel like, okay, mygirlfriend, Renee, if you're
listening, said to me yesterdayRose, I'll say she is not your
project to fix.
So this person she was talkingabout was Renee, said to me she

(29:40):
is not your project to fix.
So true, Like, becauseobviously your project to fix.
So true, Like, becauseobviously I want to heal, I want
to make them feel better.
But it's not always my job oranyone's job.
Sometimes you can't makesomeone heal, you can't make
someone feel better if theydon't want it for themselves.

Chrystal (29:57):
But also why is it your problem that she has seen
something from the exterior andthen feels a certain way about
it?
That's her problem.

Rose Oates (30:05):
Oh I know, I feel like we're talking cryptic
moments.

Chrystal (30:08):
We are.
Yes, but basically I obviouslyI'm going to read you another
one I shared.
I was on a sharing stream thismorning.
Okay, please, this is anotherone.
I think we all need to hear it.
I was extremely sad for howsomeone treated me, but then I
remembered how kind I am topeople.
That's a reflection of me.
How people treat me is aprojection of their own

(30:30):
character and not a reflectionof my value.
May I always remember that.

Rose Oates (30:36):
Sounds like.

Chrystal (30:36):
Bible Oof.

Rose Oates (30:38):
Oof Bible.
But it is so true because theway that people often treat you,
or if they say something andspill something nasty at you, it
is a projection of how they'refeeling and it's not always
about you.
So I also read something thatsays take nothing personally,

(31:00):
because often if someone'sreally upset and they're lashing
out, it's actually not oftenabout you at all.
You're just the person they'retaking it out on and it doesn't
mean something.

Chrystal (31:09):
You've triggered something within them that's
like, oh, that hurt a nerve, oryeah.

Rose Oates (31:13):
I trigger people every day online because you
know people don't like to see mewiggling and jiggling my body.
I get it told every day likehow, how disgusting it is.

Chrystal (31:22):
I still don't get that .
I know Like I'm like well,don't watch my stories, then
Like, if you don't like, youknow.

Rose Oates (31:27):
I think it's because we are all we were all brought
up in that era like that.
You shouldn't if you're big oryou've got cellulite.

Chrystal (31:35):
Unless you're Cindy Crawford, you shouldn't be
showing your body.

Rose Oates (31:44):
Yeah, you shouldn't be changed.
The world has changed and Ithink someone messaged me, sent
me a beautiful DM yesterday andshe was like I'm going through
perimenopause and this is howI'm feeling and the weight's
really hard to lose and I'mfeeling like shit and like my
mood's all over the place andI'm trying to get it sorted out.
And I was like that's becauseno one talks about it, we ain't
dead after 40.
We're just beginning.

Chrystal (32:03):
I've changed my Instagram bio to exactly that,
Did you not?
We're really getting into likeour Insta?
No for sure.
Listen, this is what I wrote onmy Insta bio.
I put almost 40 and only justgetting started.
Oh, that's exactly right.
Living fiercely, manifesting1111.

Rose Oates (32:23):
Yeah, oh, my God, one day we're going to look back
at this shit and cringe like wedid for like our Facebook
statuses.
Yeah, I love it, though it's sogood.

Chrystal (32:32):
I just get annoyed that I can only put 150
characters in there Me.
I'm like how can I shorten thisword so people can still
understand what I'm saying?

Rose Oates (32:40):
Well, it was me last night because I used to love to
write captions, and I only.
I haven't written anymorebecause everything's about reels
and photos.

Chrystal (32:48):
Who reads captions these days?
I?

Rose Oates (32:50):
know, but I just had the urge to write and I can
never fit a caption in.
You know what Is that a caption?
That's a caption.
That's a whole novel.
I love to write.

Chrystal (32:59):
I was about to say what series is that a part of?
Because that is humongous, Iknow.

Rose Oates (33:04):
But I used to love to write and you can't.
I think it's 2,000 characters,but I was like Shit in a caption
, in a caption, 2,200.
And I had to even shorten thisto fit.

Chrystal (33:13):
Whoa.
Because sometimes Can I have asnippet of that, a snippet of
this.
What do not an attack?
No, what do we want to callthis?
Not an attack at something?

Rose Oates (33:22):
No, no, it's not, absolutely not, it's like a it
was me getting For me when, Iwrite, I just get things off my
chest.
Yeah, that's how I, becausethat's just me.
For me, I have to get it out inwords on paper, because
sometimes I'm actually better onpaper than I am in speaking.

Chrystal (33:40):
Except for I can't read your fucking handwriting.

Rose Oates (33:41):
Yeah, my handwriting is like a doctor, but I know
what it means, if that makessense, sometimes, sometimes,
sometimes, but, like I think, inthis post that I wrote
yesterday, it was about thankingthe woman that I am and who I
was.

Chrystal (33:55):
Oh God, don't make me cry.

Rose Oates (33:56):
I know I was like.
To the woman that I was, thankyou for learning the hard
lessons and pushing through evenwhen it felt impossible.
To the woman that I am now, I'mproud of you and how you've
shown up, even when it was messy, uncomfortable or full of doubt
.
And to the woman I'm becoming,I'm excited for everything ahead

(34:16):
, because it's never too late toadd new chapters to our story
or dream up adventures thatreshape our lives.
So the last few years havechanged me in so many ways.
So motherhood, body changes,growth and pain, learning to
embrace my beautiful, goofy,messy self, even when it felt
like everybody had an opinionDon't get me wrong, they still
do.
I get told I wish I had yourconfidence and quietly, I always

(34:37):
wish that.
I always felt that too.
But I realised that confidencedoesn't come before the leap.
It's built with every stepforward, even when you're unsure
.
So, trust me, I'm unsure a lot,but I always take the leap
anyway.
I found comfort in discomfort,because staying small and
letting fear seep intoeverything actually feels so

(34:57):
much worse.
So I'm saying yes to showing up, especially after life changes,
and it is hard.
But saying no and living withthe what-ifs, that's even harder
.
So I choose to stop being hardon myself and to show up anyway
and find a little bit more peacewith every day.
This small corner of theinternet has brought me so much

(35:17):
joy but also opened me up tojudgment about my life, my body
and my decisions.
But hate is going to hate, andmany people project their own
insecurities onto you, andthat's on them, not us.
So I'll keep showing up with mylumps, my bumps, my messiness,
navigating as life as a woman,sharing everyday shit, laughing
at myself along the way andmaybe helping you see that you

(35:39):
are always worthy and that youare normal as fuck along the way
too.
So here's to embracing change,even when it's daunting, and
knowing that being fullyyourself is the most courageous
thing that you can do.
And, as Jewel once said, thebest part of being authentic is
that there is no image tomaintain.
You will delight some anddisturb others, and none of it

(36:02):
will concern the truth of yourbeing.
So let's heal for the girl thatyou were, protect the woman
that you are now and fight forthe queen that you were created
to be Stop.

Chrystal (36:18):
I want to cry.
Stop.
My lip is quivering.
I just looked up at that.

Rose Oates (36:25):
I'm so proud of you.
I love crying.
She's dying.
My lip is quivering.
I just looked up at that.
I'm so proud of you.
I love you.
Actually, it felt nice to readthat.
I saw your post and I was likeyeah, girl, you get it.

Chrystal (36:35):
But I didn't actually read the caption because I'm
blind and I didn't have myglasses.
Do you know why?
What I'm so glad I didn't readit?
Because that was way morepowerful coming from your mouth.

Rose Oates (36:44):
Actually, I didn't think I was going to read the
whole lot and as I started toread it, it felt really good.
That is like a such a, it feltit felt powerful to read it out
loud, actually, because the lastfew years have been some of the
hardest years of my life and,yes, I love creating on

(37:05):
Instagram and I love sharingwhat I do and the beautiful
community that I've created,because they're just awesome
women with dirty fucking gutterminds, beautiful senses of
humour but they're also goingthrough the same shit every
single day, and it's good.
We don't have to show up asanything but ourselves, and we

(37:25):
don't all have these glamorous,beautiful lives.
We have shit every day.
We go to the shops, we dealwith our life, we've got family
members that we do and don'ttalk to, and friends and fucking
shit that we all go through.
So I just that's all I want.
Actually, that's what I wantmoving forward into my life.
I just want to fight for theperson that I want to be Like.

(37:46):
I want to be better every day.

Chrystal (37:47):
Do you know how important that is, like as a mom
, like everything that you'restanding for is actually such
like an important role model foryou, for your daughters.
Like I can't even talk rightnow.
I'm getting really emotional,but like I get so proud of you
because, like, imagine having amom that is doing all of these

(38:09):
things that you're doing.
Like you're not even my mom andI'm so proud of you.

Rose Oates (38:12):
But you know what I mean.

Chrystal (38:13):
Like like that's so important, like your girls are
going to grow up and be sofierce, like they're going to be
, like my mum did this and I cando it yeah.

Rose Oates (38:20):
I hope so.
They're fierce already.

Chrystal (38:22):
Oh, for sure they are.

Rose Oates (38:24):
It's hard.
It's hard raising teenagersright now, to be honest, and it
is hard raising the two littleones together.

Chrystal (38:32):
But I don't know, I know I just feel, I feel you're
calling to me like.
I feel like this is yourcalling, like.
I feel strong right now yeaheven though like you've just
been well.

Rose Oates (38:41):
You were crying yesterday, I was literally
crying my eyes out and I have togive a bit of content to what
happened.
Like so yesterday, um,basically, like I've in my
friendship group, like I justfound out something that just
really upset me and it's hardfor me to talk about.
You know that someone,something was said behind my

(39:01):
back and I feel like you know,and they it had been said in
regards to like something thatthey'd seen on Instagram, so
they watched a few stories andmade assumptions about my life
and my health based on you knowthe tiny snippets that I might
have shared on stories, and Iopen myself up for that.

(39:22):
When you're going to be onInstagram or social media or
TikTok, whatever it is, you openyourself up for that and I'm
usually quite okay with it.
I'm okay with it coming fromstrangers, yeah, but I think
when it comes from friends andpeople that should know you
better, it hurts a lot more.
And, yeah, it gutted me.

(39:44):
What I like, for example, likeI haven't drank for eight weeks
and I'm not a big drinker ingeneral hey, I love a tequila.

Chrystal (39:54):
Don't get me wrong, but you don't drink on a weekly
basis.

Rose Oates (39:56):
No.

Chrystal (39:56):
You drink like every few months, maybe, maybe, and I
might have had like.

Rose Oates (40:00):
What have I had like in total over?

Chrystal (40:01):
the last couple of times.
A few sips of things, notreally.

Rose Oates (40:03):
I probably had half a glass of champagne at
Melbourne Cup.

Chrystal (40:05):
Yeah, like you haven't really drunk anything At all.

Rose Oates (40:15):
And I could barely eat over.
Wasn't drunk at all.
That's just me.

Chrystal (40:18):
I'm wild when you're yeah, when you live like without
caring about what people thinkof you.
Sometimes people think thatyou're drunk because we're
dancing silly, or just havingfun like literally just having
fun.
Yeah, that does not mean thatwe're high on cocaine and have
been drinking alcohol.
Oh my God Like why straightaway?

Rose Oates (40:38):
But that's true.

Chrystal (40:44):
Like I'm just saying lately, like me and Rose have
gone out and like we weren'taware that Tom, dick and Harry
are all on cocaine.
I didn't, I didn't realise, Ithink I'm am I old?
It comes out like a fuckingjack-in-the-box.
Where from, who knows Where'dthat?

Rose Oates (40:55):
come from and I have look to be honest with you.
Both of us we're not, we don'tcare.
Well, you, do whatever you wantto do with your body and your
life, but I will never touchthat.

Chrystal (41:03):
No Ever.

Rose Oates (41:03):
Me.
I'm just.
I'm happy having a few drinks,and I'm not really even a
drinker for that matter, butthat's what I'm saying.

Chrystal (41:11):
So you know, fuck, if we dance on a table, we're not
high, we're not drunk.

Rose Oates (41:17):
Like we're just having fun.
It's just us letting ourselvesbe who we want to be, and just
you know.

Chrystal (41:23):
I love that about us.
But also, on the other side ofit, like I laugh, because how
many times have we receivedmessages saying like last week I
showed you a message fromsomebody going I want to be
friends with you guys and likeyou guys have the best time
together or like just anythinglike that.
It's like you guys can do thatwith your friends too, you know,
yeah, but also this comes backto like you talking about as

(41:46):
well.
Like your whole life you feltlike you dull yourself down for
people I have.
Yep.

Rose Oates (41:50):
Yep, it's awful.
I've definitely, I think, beinglike having created and that's
not even my full-time job, bythe way, just to put it that way
I have come out of.
It's been a space where I feltvery safe to actually show the
real me, which is exactly whatyou see, pretty much what you

(42:12):
get, but I definitely have, I'vedulled myself down, so in
certain spaces I have dresseddifferently or not acted
completely myself, because Ihaven't wanted to make other
people feel uncomfortable,because I'm a people pleaser.

Chrystal (42:28):
But also I don't know about.
I'm not speaking for you, butI've also done the same where
I'm like, oh, I don't reallywant to stand out in this crowd,
because they look like a crowdthat won't feel me.

Rose Oates (42:38):
Yeah, yeah, to be honest with you, I agree with
reading the room.

Chrystal (42:42):
Don't get me wrong.
You've got to read the room inevery situation.
I mean, if everyone's wearingcorporate suits, you're not
going to dance on a table.

Rose Oates (42:47):
Yeah, that's exactly right.

Chrystal (42:49):
Maybe not.

Rose Oates (42:50):
Maybe Depends Depends if you Get them out of
their shell.
But yeah, you've got to readthe room.
But then I think as well youshouldn't always feel like you
are dulling yourself down or notbeing yourself and it's so
unhealthy, because I feel likeyou definitely attract the wrong

(43:11):
sort yes, what you put out.
So if you're not being yourself, you're going to attract the
wrong sort of people in yourlife.

Chrystal (43:17):
That's 100% true.
I was just going to read out,like I think, when I put a post
up on our thing saying that wewere returning, yes, you had
shared like a previous clip ofus talking about.
Like I think it was like don'tever think that you're a burden
on anyone, and one of our goodfriends, lani, sent a message
saying I'm forever making myselfsmaller, not to burden anybody

(43:41):
oh.
I haven't replied to it yet, butlike the amount of people that
feel that way, yes, so we had apost um, it was after we were
talking about your dad'ssuicides.

Rose Oates (43:52):
So we just ended that episode with sort of saying
you, you know, don't ever feellike you are a burden on anyone,
don't feel like you can't reachout and talk to somebody or
just tell even just one personabout how you're feeling and I
know, sometimes even telling oneperson is very fucking hard.
Oh, yeah, so you know, justfind that trusted person,

(44:13):
whoever it may be and sometimesit doesn't have to be who you
think it is.
You might find that your workcolleague is the person that you
feel like safest talking to,because they don't know
everything about you and they'renot involved in your personal
life.
Yeah, so, yeah, we shared thatand we were just saying reach
out, you're not a burden onanyone and you're definitely not
alone, because so many peoplestruggle with mental health in

(44:34):
all different spectrums.
Like, just because you'resuffering with mental health
doesn't mean that you're like atthe level where you think that
you want to maybe end your ownlife.

Chrystal (44:43):
Yeah, that's right.

Rose Oates (44:44):
You could be at the side where you're just getting
like quite depressed and you'reconstantly falling in and out of
these like really sad moments.

Chrystal (44:52):
Like it's a spectrum.
I feel like that's me everysecond week.
Yeah, honestly, like one weekI'm like, oh my God, doom and
gloom.

Rose Oates (44:58):
And then next week I'm like butterflies and
rainbows, yeah, and I think thisis why it is really important
to share the fact that even Lanishared that with you or with us
from that post.
That's actually very powerfulfor her, even just sharing that.
So I don't know like.
I think everybody using theirvoices in some way shape or form

(45:20):
in their family, with theirfriends, whether that be online
or wherever, it's reallyimportant.

Chrystal (45:27):
Too many people stay quiet.
That's the issue here.
Yeah, but even me too, likesometimes I feel like you know
I'll have a shitty day and youknow I'll have a conversation
with people about how I'mfeeling, and it is taken like by
them a bit weird, you reckon,yeah, I've had a few
conversations recently.

(45:48):
I feel like with you always Ican be like oh hey, I'm feeling
like this, blah, blah, blah.
I don't ever feel like I can'ttalk to you, but there's been a
few conversations lately whereI've said you know, I feel like
I'm in a dark place or whatever,and they get really awkward,
like they actually don't reallyknow what to say but the thing
is like, all you need to do isjust be like that's okay, Like
I'm listening to you.

Rose Oates (46:08):
It's about listening , I think, more than responding.
Yeah, I think they get awkwardbecause they feel like they have
to respond with a solution.
Yeah, you don't actually needto have a solution when you're
listening to somebody goingthrough something.

Chrystal (46:19):
Yeah, like it doesn't mean they're asking you
professional advice.
No, do you know what I mean?
They just need somebody tolisten to.

Rose Oates (46:23):
Yeah, they just need to get it off their chest
sometimes.
Yeah, yeah, a lot of people arelike that, that's what I'm
saying.

Chrystal (46:40):
So like if somebody scary to you, I think,
definitely just be there and notjudge at all, and literally
just be like you know I'mhearing you.
Yeah, that's important.

Rose Oates (46:44):
I think that is important.
I think there's give and takeand I think you know everybody
needs to be heard.
Just remember, like when wasthat you?

Chrystal (46:52):
Yeah.

Rose Oates (46:53):
You know, just two seconds out of your day.

Chrystal (46:55):
Yeah.

Rose Oates (46:55):
And then even just a checkup, Just even a week's
time, Just like how have youbeen feeling since last week?
You been okay, you been feelingbetter, and sometimes they're
going to be like actually, yeah,I felt so much better just
talking about it, or no, I meanI'm not feeling great, but I am
feeling better.
Like you know, just check in,Just extra check-in.

(47:19):
It doesn't take two seconds Insaying that fucking Christmas is
coming and the goose is gettingfat.

Chrystal (47:21):
Oh my god, your Christmas Insta stories have
been driving me wild.
I love Christmas.
You're so damn creative man.
I love Christmas, you'recreative, yeah, but I'm not
building bloody presents, towersand lollipop candy cane things.
What the hell?

Rose Oates (47:36):
I've never had.
My parents weren't big onChristmas, so I became, were
they not?

Chrystal (47:41):
No.

Rose Oates (47:41):
As Italians, no Like Christmas dinner.

Chrystal (47:44):
What is Italian Christmas?
What's the word again, wogfestor what.
No, there's a name.
It's like Buon Natale, oh, BuonNatale yeah, buon Natale.

Rose Oates (47:53):
Yeah, like Christmas Day was a big deal, like the
food, the festivities gettingtogether, but like barely
putting up a Christmas tree andpresents.
We didn't really get manypresents at all.
So I live out my childhood.
My inner childhood is like.

Chrystal (48:06):
My inner childhood dreams yes, your front door is
your inner childhood dreams.
Oh my God.

Rose Oates (48:10):
My mum and dad.
I still laugh.
We once got a helmet forChristmas, each Like a bike
helmet.
A bike helmet.
Did you have a bike?
We didn't have a bike.

Chrystal (48:23):
That's in case you run into a brick wall.

Rose Oates (48:25):
And there's a photo of me.
Why, why, and we were soexcited.

Chrystal (48:30):
So, me and Carl, Was it like a hold on a minute?
We were like this I'm soconfused.
Was it?
Here's your helmet this year?
I'm so confused.
Was it?
Here's your helmet this year?

Rose Oates (48:36):
I'm getting you a bike next year.
I don't know if they couldn'tafford the bike or if they were
planning on getting the bike anddidn't get it.
We had a trike like athree-wheel tricycle that was
four, seven meters on the floor.
Well, you don't really need ahelmet for that.
Wearing a Christmas photo ashappy as pigs in shit, like we
were like, with a helmet.
With a helmet, we were soexcited.
What are those old school?

Chrystal (48:57):
80 helmets.
Yes, the stack hat thing.

Rose Oates (48:58):
So I have now wanted to give my kids like this
magical experience ever since,and I just love every single
thing about it.
I receive so much shit forputting my Christmas decorations
up and my tree in November, butfuck you all.

Chrystal (49:15):
But also I just unpacked my Christmas tree from
last year, two days ago, sothat's how it feels.
Yeah, literally.
I pulled the box out and I waslike I swear to God, I just
taped this bitch up like twodays ago.

Rose Oates (49:25):
It's come around really quick and I also think
what a waste Everyone's likeit's not even December.
What a waste of my Christmastree and my fucking time.
You know how much time it takesto put that thing up, and also
money.
How?

Chrystal (49:37):
much have you spent on decorations?
Because, I tell you, now Ispent $74 just today on four
baubles, four, I don't know,jesus Christ.
Literally it was bed, bath andtable.
I think it was five, fivebaubles.

Rose Oates (49:48):
No, I've collected mine over the years, so I've
collected pieces, collect them,but then stuff breaks and shit
disintegrates.

Chrystal (49:56):
I can't help myself.
I go into the shops and I'mlike they're so pretty, they're
so beautiful.
I'm just going to add that.
And then today I'm adding thosefour things on.
I'm like I've got no space onthis tree.

Rose Oates (50:04):
But like okay, but I put my tree up early, I take it
down, fucking like 27th ofDecember.
I'm like bye.

Chrystal (50:11):
Everything goes back in that box Some.

Rose Oates (50:12):
Some people leave it up till January.

Chrystal (50:14):
I think that's just as bad.
I'm pretty sure I took minedown 26 last year.
I could happily do it.
I just want my house cleanagain.

Rose Oates (50:21):
Clean free of clutter and before the new year.
Some people leave it well intoJanuary and I'm like hold on,
that's worse.
I'd prefer to be festive inNovember than leave my tree up
till.

Chrystal (50:30):
January.
My mum always used to say youcan't start a new year with your
trees still on, I agree.

Rose Oates (50:35):
My mum always said that, rose, you're 100% on point
.

Chrystal (50:37):
Yeah, she's like.
You can't stand a fresh yearstill living back in the past,
kind of thing.
Oh, that was, that's a mumsticker.

Rose Oates (50:43):
I like that, like we've been full of quotes and
full of deepness today.
Yeah, we're feeling ourselves.

Chrystal (50:49):
I've gone through all the emotions.

Rose Oates (50:51):
But yes, I'm so excited about Christmas this
year.
I Christmas this year.
I really want to go away.
I've only just told Crystaltoday, literally, I was like
book, that shit for me.

Chrystal (50:58):
I'm coming.

Rose Oates (50:59):
I was like I want to leave.
So Craig flies in on the 25thof December at lunchtime.
I want to be going.
I want to be on a plane to Baliby Christmas night for a week.

Chrystal (51:10):
That sounds like heaven to me.
And this is just Will you packyour tree down that night then?
Because?
Can you pack your tree downthat night then?
Because you're going to betaken.
Yeah, see, if you're not comingback in Jan, I might have to
pack it down.

Rose Oates (51:19):
You're going to pack it down, or I'll pack most of
the decoration, I'll put all theother house decorations away
and maybe the tree I'll justleave.
That's fine, but I do not wantto be here.
Someone said something aboutBali today and for me, bali does
something to my soul.
I know there's plenty of Balihaters out there, but I'm not
one of them.
No, I go there and I'm likeisland time.

(51:41):
My soul feels soothed.
I do the yoga, I do themeditation, I do the cocktails,
I do the sun, I do thenon-terrorist-y shit.
Like I will go on hikes andbushwalk or not bushwalks, but
tropical walks and get on a bike.
And I just do not want to behere.
And I've just decided thistoday because my big kid said
Indy and Scarlett was like if wego away, we don't want anything

(52:03):
for Christmas, and I was likedone.
Oh, wow, that's good.
They don't want anything, theywould like just get us some
travel.

Chrystal (52:10):
you know bits and pieces cool soaps and makeup
like you know like hip-flossy,All the fun stuff that you get
when you're a teenager.

Rose Oates (52:17):
So who knows, by the end of the week or the day Can?

Chrystal (52:19):
you let me know by tonight what's happening,
because I think I'm coming.

Rose Oates (52:23):
I don't want to do it.
I just can't do a week here.
Yeah, I want to be there forNew Year's but Craig will fly
back early.
But I'll stay if I do it.

Chrystal (52:30):
How long is between Christmas and New Is?
That a week and a half orsomething, or is it a week?

Rose Oates (52:35):
I don't know.
Let's have a quick look.
I know.

Chrystal (52:37):
I was like I'm just going to have a squizzy.

Rose Oates (52:38):
Oh my God, I've gotten 50.
Yeah, it's literally a week.
Yeah, it's a week, so Craigwill have to leave earlier.

Chrystal (52:45):
That excites me.
But look, listen here.
Remember we go to Bali in Jantoo.

Rose Oates (52:52):
That's just another exciting thing that just keeps
me going.

Chrystal (52:55):
Yeah, and then I'll probably go somewhere for my
birthday in March.

Rose Oates (52:58):
I have to go on March.
Well, why?
Because Craig has two and two,so he's FIFO.
He goes from two weeks on oneweek off to two weeks on two
weeks off Okay.

Chrystal (53:09):
So that might work when he goes in March, do you?

Rose Oates (53:11):
know the dates that he's going to, I think.
Well, he's like March is twodays after your birthday, so
he's like calm down.
This is what he was telling metoday.
Okay, I've told him what I want.
I already knew that.
I've had an inkling of what hewas going to get me, anyway,
what I think.
I think I don't want to say it,but he doesn't do it, I think

(53:32):
he's Is he going to listen tothis?

Chrystal (53:33):
He does listen.
No, Does he?
Yeah, I think so Sometimes.

Rose Oates (53:35):
I think he listens sometimes yeah, he's a beautiful
little supporter.
I think he's going to get me aring.
Oh, because remember, like whatLike an English country ring.

Chrystal (53:45):
I hope he doesn't listen, I'm just going to tell
him not.

Rose Oates (53:47):
Yeah, I think he's going to like.

Chrystal (53:49):
Propose again, propose again.

Rose Oates (53:51):
I have a feeling, oh my God, I've said it now, I've
said it out.

Chrystal (53:56):
No, we'll laugh about that, if it doesn't happen.

Rose Oates (53:58):
It doesn't, because ever since I was 20, I never got
the wedding of my dreams.
I'm not saying I didn't have agreat wedding.
Well, you were up the daftweren't you.
No, I already had it.
Oh, that's right.
And he was a year old at ourwedding.
All I was elope.
I wanted to go to Vegas, elopeand get married by a fat Elvis.

(54:19):
Like not a skinny Elvis, likethe old school fat, big
sideburns, sweaty Elvis and justhave a little Vegas wedding,
have like a little trip aroundthe States and then go home and
just be like we're married.
But we had a big Italianwedding and it was completely
not me.
And so ever since then I saidwhen I turn 40, I'm going to get
remarried to Craig by Elvis.
I'm not saying that that'sgoing to happen, but we are

(54:41):
going to get married this year.

Chrystal (54:42):
Well, look, you did look at flights and it was
ridiculous.

Rose Oates (54:45):
The flights to America in next year in
September is like 18,000 to takethe whole family.

Chrystal (54:49):
So we could try and sell your kidney on the black
market.

Rose Oates (54:53):
I don't think I need both the kidneys, no, just need
one, I'll sell mine, you sellyours oh one each, and then
we'll go, we'll do, somethingDone.

Chrystal (55:00):
Surely we'd get 18 grand each for each kidney Guys,
I'm joking.
No, we are Maybe not Maybe notI don't even know where to sell
it.
Do you put it on Marketplace?
Hey guys, kidney for sale.

Rose Oates (55:16):
Who bloody knows who bloody knows.

Chrystal (55:18):
Yeah, but can you imagine going under?

Rose Oates (55:20):
They'd just steal your whole.
You wouldn't even wake up.

Chrystal (55:22):
Yeah, they'd take your whole intestine.
They won't want your intestines.
Half of it's missing.

Rose Oates (55:28):
That's no good.
That's no good.
Anyway, we digress, but yeah, Ihope you enjoyed catching up
with us.
We certainly enjoyed catchingup with each other.

Chrystal (55:37):
We've talked for 55 minutes, pretty much.
I know what did we even talkabout, guys?
I don't know, but I feel likeyou would have got something
from this.
Yes, there was a few good bitsin there that you could take,
but you know, you've got toshift through some of the shit.
But you know there's a few goodbits in there.

Rose Oates (55:58):
Us catching up, but look if there's anyone that you
want to hear from in the future.
On the potty we have somebeautiful guests lined up that
will be in the next couple ofweeks as well, and there's going
to be more of us just chattingas well about life, about topics
that you want to hear from,because that's actually the
feedback that we've been gettingthe most.

Chrystal (56:13):
You want to hear about two mates just doing life, and
we're happy to do that to behonest, and I think too, like
with having guests on, it's notenough, because we'd love a long
podcast.
We'd love a long one.

Rose Oates (56:25):
I feel like the guests we get on they've got so
much to offer that like we wantto have a three hour podcast and
obviously that is a lot.
We can't do it yes.

Chrystal (56:33):
Yeah, so I think we are going to do more of just,
you know, the chats with us, but, like Roy said, if there's
anybody that you really want tohear from, like we will reach
out to them.

Rose Oates (56:43):
Yeah, I'm excited for where this.
You know the potty will benearly a year old In March.
Shit that went fast God.
I know, I just registered againfor Actually when you said that
I was like it's nearly going tobe a year old.

Chrystal (56:56):
The registration just came up to register the name
again and I was like I only didit for one year because I was
like are we going to keep doingthis?
I don't know.

Rose Oates (57:03):
We'll just do one year.
And then I was like bitch,please.

Chrystal (57:07):
I'm putting this for three years now.
Yeah.

Rose Oates (57:11):
It's a lot, you never know.
You never know where life willbring us.
But yeah, honestly, well, otherthan that, we will see you next
week or talk to you next week,so I don't know what I was going
to say.
Take care of yourselves andtake care of each other.

Chrystal (57:27):
Peace out guys.
Bye.