Charlotte Beswick - Insights on Healing, Intuition and Forgiveness - Baring it All with Rose and Chrystal

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rose Oates (00:05):
Welcome to Bearing it All with Rose and Crystal.

Charlotte Beswick (00:08):
Where the conversations get real emotions
run raw and nothing is filtered.

Rose Oates (00:13):
Buckle up because we're Bearing it All deep,
diving into everything frommotherhood to mental health and
everything in between.
We want to get to know you,each other and our bodies, and
things are going to get spicyRaspassy.

Are you ready for it?

Rose Oates (00:27):
Let's do it.
Welcome back to Bearing it Allwith Rose and Crystal.
Today we have Charlotte, acertified Reiki master,
spiritual mentor and mindfulnesspractitioner, to join us.
With seven years of experienceas a mentor and healer,
charlotte supports healingjourneys with expertise in
energy modalities, spiritualpractices, somatics, trauma and

(00:52):
mindfulness.
Charlotte's personal journeyincludes overcoming an eating
disorder, severe anxiety,chronic pain and healing from
childhood and adult trauma.
She blends spiritual guidancewith practical techniques to
help her clients transform theirlives and relationships.
Sharla is based here in Perth,western Australia, but offers

(01:13):
online and in-person healingsessions, one-on-one mentoring,
sister circles and events, andshe dedicates her time to
helping people worldwide andwe're so excited to have her on
the pod today with us to shareher journey and have just a
general conversation with us.
I have met Charlotte throughdoing some Reiki and some

(01:35):
healing circles myself and itwas absolutely incredible.
So welcome to the pod,charlotte.
Thank you, ladies.

Welcome to Bearing it All.
Why has it gone silent?

Rose Oates (01:48):
I don't know.
I thought you were going to saysomething else, so I let you.

Welcome Charlotte to Bearing it All.

Rose Oates (01:53):
Thanks, crystal.
Yeah, I'm really excited tohave you in the studio today,
excited to be here.
Isn't this the most awkwardpart?
Like when you're just in thebeginning you're like hi guys,
that's Nev.

I've never seen you before.
Well, it's better than you lastweek.
Welcome to our show.

Rose Oates (02:11):
I didn't know, I even said that.
But yeah, I'm really excited tobe having you here today.
I've actually had a lot ofexperience with you.
Experiences with you,Experiences with Charlotte.
She is a Reiki practitioner, amaster, and I've been to
beautiful healing events.
Yeah, I've done some healingwith you recently for the first

(02:33):
time.
She was my first in-personhealing experience and I was
telling you the other night thatwhen you did my Reiki, I had
like this weird time warp.
I think you were doing it for45 minutes and then it was
really relaxing.
I felt like I was just likedrifting off to sleep and you

(02:57):
took me out of it and I was like, what was that?
Like 10, 15 minutes.
I was like, okay, maybe this isshorter than I think I've never
had Reiki before and she'd beendoing everything for like 10,
15 minutes.
I was like, okay, maybe this isshorter than I think I've never
had Reiki before and she'd beendoing everything for like the
last 45 minutes and I went intothis weird time warp.

Chrystal (03:12):
It happens all the time People go.
Did you not just start?

Rose Oates (03:16):
I was like have I been ripped off?
What is going?

on.
Oh now, I remember theconversation because we stayed
at a hotel on the weekend andRose was feeling a little bit
deflated so all of us thoughtthat we would pretend we were
Reiki masters and we're likeover the top of her and we're
like get away, get away and theywere like is this even?
How we do it.

Rose Oates (03:36):
I was like I'm sure it feels better, like it was
making me laugh, so like we wereremoving energy or something.
But yeah, then I ended upexplaining like that I have had
a Reiki experience and it wasamazing.

So Well, I'm a bit of a virgin for this, yeah
, like I don't really know muchabout Reiki.
What you do, none of it, it'svery new to me.

Rose Oates (03:58):
You took the words out of my mouth because I
thought to start.
Can you please explain what youdo and what Reiki is Like?
Not everyone actually knowsEveryone's like.
So she's doing something on me,but she's not touching me.

Okay, I thought Reiki was they take you
into a garden and you do Reikitogether and like, do some free
spirited stuff in the gardenwith a Reiki, because you're
Reiki-ing, I don't know I loveit.

Rose Oates (04:24):
This is exactly what weaking?
I don't know.
I love it.
This is exactly what we need.
I don't have a garden rake,okay, good.

Just saying, that's how my brain works.

Chrystal (04:33):
I love it and a lot of people don't initially know
what it is.
Maybe I've heard of it and it'slike what is that?
I'm intrigued and that's thefirst part is people generally
are curious, they've no idea.
So Reiki originates from Japanand it means universal life
force energy.
So basically you get attuned tothis life force energy through

(04:53):
your hands, through symbols, andthat allows you to channel that
energy to promote healing insomebody, healing in somebody's
body.
You work through their chakras,which are known as their energy
centers, and it can supportthem with a number of things
like feeling lighter, lessanxious.
I'm fortunate enough that I'malso psychic, so when I tune

(05:14):
into somebody and I'm connectedto the energy, I also pick up on
feelings, sensations in theirbody, things that they're
experiencing.
Sometimes I'll start to feelstuff in my own body Like if
someone's got something going onin their gut.
My gut starts to go and I go oh, what is good?
Oh, okay, that's the clients.
Sometimes I feel emotional, theclient does, and the guidance

(05:35):
comes through to support peopleon their own journey.
So sometimes I'll get messagesfrom spirit, sometimes loved
ones that have passed overcoming as well, and then people
generally go into a time warp,they feel heavy light, get
emotional.
Any number of things can happenand sometimes people just lie
there and float away and takethat pause maybe from life and

(05:57):
just go.
Oh, I can let go here and I canreceive.
And then they walk out feelinglighter, more refreshed.
They've got some guidance thatmaybe they've been searching for
for a really long time.
So when is your next?

appointment.
Saturday We'll be putting allof.

Rose Oates (06:14):
Charlotte's details in the show notes.
Guys, be sure, damn, I feellike I need that.
It was so good.
I felt all of the above, Ithink, for me.
I don't take much time formyself, so it was an hour just
for me.
And then I went into the weirdtime warp and then I'm pretty
sure I cried.
I could be wrong, but I feellike I did.

(06:34):
And then I did like to betouched.
I don't know why, but you didoccasionally lay a hand on me.

Chrystal (06:42):
I like it.
It was good for me.

Rose Oates (06:46):
It was good for you, but it was very relaxing.
And then we had some messagesat the end and I just I was
quite emotional.
And then what I didn't realiseas well is after I was like I
want to chat about this, I wantto tell everyone what happened
and I couldn't like there was somuch energy.
I didn't realise you neededtime to recover at all, like I

(07:06):
think it took me it's prettyhard for you to not talk either.
That's exactly right, like it'smy thing, like how I release
energy through talking and how Iprocess things, and I actually
like went in.

Chrystal (07:19):
And people.
Do you know we're so busy, wedo so much in a day?
You know we're in our heads alot.
Do you know we're so busy, wedo so much in a day?
You know we're in our heads alot, rushing around all the time
and you take pause and justfill yourself up.
And sometimes people have totake that introspection to go,
oh my gosh, like I just gavemyself, like it's literally
filling you up with light.
That's the way I look at Reikiand everyone needs that Like

(07:40):
we're so heavy, we do so much,we're carrying so much
emotionally, and then you fillyourself up with light and you
walk away like, of course you'regoing to feel emotional because
you've more than likely beenpushing that down all throughout
your life, keeping busy, youknow, looking after the kids,
going here, doing that rushing,and it's like, oh, it's like
that release of energy that canhappen that most people really

(08:02):
need right now.

Rose Oates (08:08):
Yeah, we don't take time for ourselves and we don't
want to think about our problems, so we fill it up with doing
other stuff.

I wonder who that might be.
I don't know who you're talkingabout, but more about you,
charlotte.
I'm damn interested in how thisall began Exactly.
Can?

Rose Oates (08:21):
you start us like, just give us a short like, tell
us about you.

Chrystal (08:28):
So I guess my journey really began when I left home
young.
I left home when I was 16 andfound myself living in a caravan
.
I quit school, I was workingthree jobs and I was isolated
from my family.
You know for my own choices atthat time and it was a really
hard time in my life.

(08:48):
I was chronically anxious, hadno confidence in myself and this
kind of progressed and then Ifound myself just going from
really bad relationship to badrelationship to bad relationship
and I hit the point when I was24, I was like something's got
to change.
I want to travel the world.
I'm going, Left the UK, packedmy bags, went on a round the

(09:09):
world tour by myself and foundmyself in Australia and I was
living in Sydney, in Bondi.
But what I didn't realize wasthat I went with me.
So everything that I wasexperiencing when I was 16 and
younger, right the way up untilthat moment, I took with me.
So my anxiety hit a peak likereally bad, Whereas you thought
you were leaving it behind.

Rose Oates (09:30):
You're like I'm going to pick up, I'm going to
change my circumstance, I'mgoing to change my location.
That means that I can get awayfrom my problems.
But you took.
You were saying basically,you're saying the problem, I'm
the problem.

It's me.
They put themselves in yoursuitcase and came along for the
ride.
They really did.

Chrystal (09:47):
My baggage came with me, yeah, and I thought I could
escape it and I couldn't.
And I ended up on the bathroomfloor on my complete rock bottom
moment.
And this was back in 2010,.
And I'd been struggling alonewith bulimia for 13 years.
It started when I was 12.
I never told anybody, I kept itquiet, I kept it a secret from

(10:07):
every single person in my life.
And that rock bottom moment inSydney, I remember I was on the
floor just like I can't go onlike this, like this isn't my
life.
And this is where I heard avoice that said ask for help.
And I was like it wasn't myvoice, it wasn't the voice
inside my head, it was likeanother voice and energy I now

(10:28):
know to be spirit ask for help.
And I realized in that momentthat I'd never asked.
I never let anyone support me.
I'll do it.
I'm hyper independent, have tobe from a really young age and I
went on this massive healingjourney.
From that moment, you know, Iwent into therapy, I started
looking after myself, I startedreally unpacking my baggage.

(10:49):
You know all the trauma thatI'd experienced as a child.
You know my mom's an alcoholic.
I grew up with that.
My dad wasn't around.
There was a lot of things thatI'd carried for a really long
time that I never talked about,never shared with anybody, and
it started this journey that'snow been a 14-year journey of
healing and self-discovery.

Do you think that the bulimia happened
because of those things?
Oh for sure.
And also, having bulimia for 13years, that has like a massive
toll on your body, right?

Rose Oates (11:16):
No wonder you were tired, yeah, and you were just
tired.
It's exhausting, yeah, 100%Mentally and physically.

Chrystal (11:23):
Yeah, it's exhausting .
Yeah, 100% Mentally andphysically.
Yeah, and people think bulimiais often an eating disorder
about food, and, yes, that's aportion of it, but it's about
control.
Yep, I had no control over mycircumstances as a child.
I had no control over anythingthat happened, so I controlled
the one thing that I could.
Yeah, at that time, which Ithought was the best way

(11:43):
obviously wasn't.
You know, my body did take atoll and I still have some gut
problems now that come up as aresult of it.

I was going to say, like do you have any
long term like health effectsnow from that?

Chrystal (11:54):
I've worked a lot on a lot of different areas health,
nutrition, wise, healing mybody, self-love, self-care.
They're fundamentals in my life.
Because I punished my body, youknow I hated myself for a
really long time and it's takena lot of work.

Rose Oates (12:12):
I can completely understand where you're coming
from, because coming from thesame sort of trauma in my
childhood and my early teens,and my body was a weapon against
myself.
So I treated my body likeothers had treated it and that
was my only form of control washow to control my food, how to

(12:35):
control my exercise.
I had control over that, butreally it becomes the other way
around where it has control overyou, it becomes like this weird
addiction.

Chrystal (12:46):
Oh, 100% and it controlled my life for so long,
how I thought, what I thoughtabout myself, my exercise and I
yo-yo dieted for years and thenwhat I realised was I was just
controlling with food as theaddiction to my bulimia because
that was the strategy, and thenfinding a new set of strategies
and then learning that I couldactually control the way I

(13:08):
thought, the way I was feeling,what my beliefs were about
myself, life and the world, andthat's what really changed
everything for me.

Rose Oates (13:16):
That is a big takeaway right there, in my
opinion.
I think so many, especiallywomen, really take it out on
their bodies and their, theirappearance, when there's a lot
more than that that actually isgoing on behind the scenes.
There's so much that we can bedoing.
I know it is for me.
I know even now, because Istill have healing to do.

(13:37):
You know this, um, that whenI'm feeling really shit about my
head still goes back to thefact you're ugly, but it's not.
But the rational part of me nowknows no, you're not, it's just
because.
Why are you feeling ugly?
It's because I'm having a badday, because there's too much in

(13:58):
my life.
So then I still often do goresort.
The first natural thing to meis to go to that body thing.
So yeah, that's interesting?

Chrystal (14:11):
Yeah, I really do, and I always invite people into
those days when you're having abad day, when you're stressed
and when you've not had greatsleep or things are going on in
your personal life.
They are the one time where youdo not believe that voice
inside your head.
If, at any time, that's thetime you don't believe it,
because they're the times whenyou are going to buy into it

(14:33):
more than anything.
Oh yeah, well, I'm shit.
Oh yeah, I am ugly.
Well, hold on a second, I'mactually having just a bad
moment, even I'm just evenhaving a bad moment.
Okay, thank you.
Voice inside my head.
I don't need to believe whatyou're telling me right now.
There's a deeper truth withinyou that you now know and that
you can.
Sometimes I can rationally seethat that's not actually true.

(14:53):
But it's that old pathway,right?
It's so easy, familiar, likeit's familiar, and we do it like
we're guilty of buying intothat, and my work really teaches
and guides people too that thatmay be something you're telling
yourself, but is it true, likereally, absolutely.
Can you tell me that that is atrue fact right now?

Rose Oates (15:13):
They go uh yeah, is it a fact or is it just a belief
?

Chrystal (15:17):
It's something you're telling yourself.

Rose Oates (15:20):
I feel like you do it quite often I do because it's
such a natural.
I was in that state of mind forso many years.
And then, being competitivesport, you're almost fuelled to
believe that because it's likeand this is just the fact of
what sport is like If you'replaying competitively, you want
to get to the Olympics or acertain state or wherever you

(15:43):
may need to lose weight to getthere.
Certain things like if you're arunner or a sprinter, being
lighter does help that.
So then you're fueled with that, with your coaches, and then
you start believing the voice,the shit that you've told
yourself as well.
Plus, your coach is saying,okay, we've got to lean up now
it becomes like so natural.

Speaker 3 (16:04):
And if you think about some women even that we've
got to lean up.

Rose Oates (16:06):
Now it becomes like so natural.
And if you think about somewomen even that I've spoken to,
they're like 50 years old, havemessaged me and gone.
I've hated my body my wholelife and I'm only starting to.
You know, learn to love itagain now, learn to try
different ways.
But it's so hard.
Imagine 50 years of hating yourbody.
That's all you know.

(16:26):
That's the only way that youknow you're going to keep
resorting to that.
It takes a lot of work.

Chrystal (16:33):
It really does.
Yeah, it really does, and I seeclients that come to me 50, 60,
70 years old, seriously thatare still doing it, but they've
never known a different way.
And, yeah, it's often projectedagainst the body, but really
it's projected against self.

yeah, it's those feelings and thoughts you
have about yourself which aren'tall true, and it's allowing
people to remember what thetruth of who they really are is,
yeah, I feel like I've neverreally had like the body thing,
but I take it out of myself asin like with any business that
I've ever owned, it's alwaysbeen like, oh well, you're not
really good enough to do this,or you're going to fail, or

(17:12):
you're going to make your familygo bankrupt, like those are the
things that play in my head allthe time, like, yeah, it's
strange, isn't it, that we allhave different things that our
brain tells us, like when we'rehaving those crappy days, that
our brain tells us like whenwe're having those crappy days,
yeah, and then it just feels sonatural to think like that.

Rose Oates (17:32):
It does take a lot of work, but I do want to circle
back to how it started then.
So you were saying you startedbeing bulimic at about 12, but
you had a traumatic childhoodthere, like your mum was an
alcoholic.
How long was she an alcoholicfor, and how much responsibility
was put on you as a child then?

Chrystal (17:53):
I can't ever remember there being a time when my mum
wasn't drinking.
Okay.
And from being young I took on abelief around what that made
mean, what I made that meanabout me.
So going home from school,sometimes she'd be in the pub.
She wouldn't be home.
Whether she was home, she mighthave a drink in her hand and it

(18:14):
wasn't like you'd say, oh, shedrinks first thing in the
morning or at lunchtime.
But it was a very familiartrend for me that oh mum's in
the pub, oh mum's in the pub,our mum's in the pub, or she's
not home, or you need to makeyour own dinner sometimes, or
you have to walk home fromschool.
From being like a really youngkid that I never thought you
don't at that age that that waskind of a problem.
It was just how my life was,yeah, and her not showing up to

(18:37):
school, things sometimes.
And you know there were certainevents and moments really
traumatic that I had to movethrough at a very young age,
coping strategies that I took on.
My mum got bitten by one of ourdogs.
I remember when she was reallydrunk one night I must have been
about eight and there was bloodeverywhere.
I was the person at eight yearsold that had the tea towel on

(19:01):
my mum's face to stop thebleeding.
I didn't realise until yearslater, way into my healing
journey, how much, oh, I'm notaffected by blood.
It doesn't bother me If you'veput your head open.
I'm the first person you wantthere because I can.
Just I'll be there.
It doesn't bother me becauseI'd become resilient to so much
pain and so much trauma.
But I didn't understand that atthat time.

(19:21):
So I took on a lot of beliefsfrom my mum.
You know, projected andunconsciously, you know, she
used to pick apart my body very,very verbally about my stretch
marks and oh, your sister wouldlook better in that, and what
are those horrible lines on yourbody?
Or years and years of thatprogramming.
And it was an unlearning then.

(19:42):
Okay, well, is that true?
And is that even mine?
Well, hold on a second.
Up until I reckon I wasprobably 30, so, like eight,
nine years ago, I still didn'twear a pair of shorts.

Yeah, Because of comments that she'd made
About my legs.
Oh wow.

Chrystal (20:00):
So many years and I was like hold on.

Rose Oates (20:03):
Especially when it's coming from your mother.
The one person.
Who's?

meant to protect you and tell you the
truth, correct.

Rose Oates (20:08):
And I feel like your mum.
You expect your mum is like theone that loves you the most,
the one that tells you theabsolute truth, because she
doesn't want you to be hurt.
I would yeah.

Isn't it funny, though, that the mums are
sometimes the one that could becausing a lot of damage to
their children.

Chrystal (20:27):
It really is, and through the years that I've been
doing this work and through allthe years of my own healing and
it was probably eight years,and I mean consistently I was in
therapy for the first four ofthat.
Like every week, I'd show up totherapy to talk about my
problems you know, great, signme up for this yet again.
You know, and it was, it washard, it really really was, and

(20:48):
the way I started to look at itwas anything my mum said to me
was a projection of her in areality.
Yeah, it wasn't about me and mybody and what I looked like and
the things that I did or didn'tdo.
That was her stuff, how she wasfeeling about herself, yeah,
and it's a projection.
So when you can actually seethat and be like, oh, she's just

(21:10):
saying that because that's herinner world, I don't need to
take that on or believe it to bemy truth, that's just her
projection in this moment and itallowed me to just pivot just a
little bit.
And I think society I used toget really jealous of my friends
that had a beautiful loving momand bit, and I think society I
used to get really jealous of myfriends that had a beautiful
loving mum and dad and I waslike, oh my gosh, what's that?

(21:30):
Like my mum loved me and I feltloved.
Right, I know with all my heartshe loved me and in those
moments she did the best shecould, right.
I actually firmly believe thatnow and I'll loop back to that
line in a minute.
But it was like when I couldsee that what she was doing and
saying was her.

(21:52):
Okay, I don't need to take thaton or believe that and I can see
that I had a mum, but it justlooked different yeah it doesn't
need to look like these moviesor like, oh, my best friend's
got this amazing mum and dadthat are there for her and that
show up and that support her andthat she can have these
conversations with.
That part of me felt like I wasmissing something, and in

(22:15):
society I don't know one personreally genuinely that I can say
that has a beautiful, loving,amazing, deeply connected,
heartfelt relationship withtheir mom, like who does.

Rose Oates (22:27):
We were talking about this before we started the
potty, because I feel likeeveryone had this perception of
what a mom should look like andin some ways you do.
Even I felt disappointed.
I grew up a little wog girlwith a mum that had learned
nothing really from her mum atall about really anything just

(22:49):
go out and live and learn.
And then she tried in her ownway to teach me and I was like
get away from me, Like I'lllearn it myself, Like I'm now.
I'm past that point and it'sonly actually until I had my own
kids that she actually relatedto me.
So the only time that ourrelationship mother and daughter

(23:11):
relationship now has changedand has become better since I've
become a mother because it'salmost like she could relate to
me in some way.
Yet I was looking at you weresaying the movies or at such and
such as mum and daughterrelationship that could talk
about sex and her boyfriends andall the cool things, and I was

(23:32):
like mum barely told me about aperiod.

Chrystal (23:35):
Yeah, Do you know it's so interesting?
You say that because my mumwasn't even there when I started
my period.
Yeah, she was in hospital for11 weeks.
I was like 11.
I didn't know what to do.
I didn't even have.
I had to put tissue in my neck.
Like the trauma in that alone.
It's just so much.
But this perception people haveof anything is so skewed by

(23:59):
society and by social media.
Oh, you have a primarycaregiver, whether that's a mum,
a dad, an auntie, a grandma,adopted, whatever.
It doesn't need to look likeany way.
It looks how it looks to youand it's okay that that's
different.
It really is, if people can bewith that.
Oh, it's okay that myrelationship looks different

(24:22):
because we try.
Oh, it should look like this.
My mum should show up for meand she should.
They often don't have capacityto they're dealing with their
own shit.
They don't even know whatthey're dealing with exactly
yeah, and I just want to lookback to that line.
I said because I talk about ita lot, about our parents doing
the best they can, and it's froma Louise Hay book that this

(24:44):
book changed my life.
It's how to Heal your Life byLouise Hay.
I'd recommend anybody reads it.
It was one of the firstspiritual books I ever read and
when I read that line it reallychanged my perspective of things
and I was like, oh yeah, butthen years later I realized that
there was a certain bypassingin that of my very real and
present pain.
Yeah, okay, she may have donethe best she could, but do you

(25:08):
know what that best fuckingsucked.
I love.
I'm being real.
It sucked that I had to letmyself in when I was seven
because my mum wasn't home.
It sucked that she wasn't theresometimes.
It sucked, that You'reacknowledging it, yeah, okay, I
can give myself permission to bea child and be like I don't
want this, though.
Yeah, and when I gavepermission for that pain, then I

(25:30):
could see that, yes, sheactually did with what she had
the knowledge, the tools, theunderstanding, the wisdom that
my nana had given to her and mynana's nana had given to her.
You know, it's generational,the mother wound that just keeps
getting passed down.
And when you can see that, yes,you may have done and that
might not have always been great, and you give permission for

(25:51):
your pain to exist, in thatthere's space for your humanity.

That's powerful.
I need to take some tips fromthis.

Rose Oates (26:00):
Yeah, I know I've just been like, wow, that is
incredible, because that'sactually how I've forgiven my
mum, and not that she was a badmother or anything like that.
But I was like, hold on, Ithink about myself as a mum.
I fucking don't know what I'mdoing.
I really don't Like I'm wingingit every day.
I've got four kids and youwould think you know I've learnt

(26:22):
from the first two because I'vegot two older ones and then two
younger ones.
But because they're all sodifferent and I've changed and
I'm older, I'm still fucking up.
And I said it to my therapist.
Actually I was like, oh my, Iwas having a real sad moment.
I'm like, oh my God, I'm justshit mum and I'm feeling guilty
and I don't know what I'm doing.

(26:43):
And he's like every single kidis going to think and feel at
one point or another that youfucked them up and that you made
mistakes that they never wantto do again, that they're going
to be like I'm not going to dothat as a mother.
So you change that.
But then you do something else.
You know what I mean.

He's like we all create like things that
we're never going to be perfectand listen, I think we should
just applaud ourselves thatwe've kept our kids alive,
because half the time I thinkthat I'm gonna yeah, like I
can't even feed myself, likeyeah, this is really.

Rose Oates (27:17):
It's really like it's interesting.
I love hearing it from thatperspective and that's I was
like, wow, I did forgive my mumfor like things that I felt like
she did wrong.
Because I was like, wow, I didforgive my mum for like things
that I felt like she did wrong.
Because I was like, hold on,when she was 38, she didn't know
what she was doing.
And now I'm the same age as herand I can relate to that,
because I don't know what I'mdoing and she was just doing the

(27:37):
best that she could.

Chrystal (27:39):
And when you're compassionate with yourself for
your own mistakes and fuck-upsand not knowing what you're
doing and winging it half thetime.
No one gave us a manual forlife, let alone motherhood right
Jesus, yeah it's like no onetold you what to do or how to do
it, and even if they did, noone's perfect.
At the end of the day Exactly.
But then that gives you, if Ican be compassionate with myself
for anything that I do in anygiven moment, it gives you more

(28:05):
capacity to be compassionatewith another.
You're never going to be ableto be compassionate for your mum
, for all that she does, or allher mistakes or all that she
said, unless you can do it foryou first.

I also feel, though, that when we have
parents, like I'm sure all of usdo, don't we almost learn
something from what they didwith us that we don't want to do
with?
Our children.
It's like we try and changethings, like have more of an
open relationship with our kidsor, you know, try to be more
present, just things like that.

(28:32):
Like maybe things that ourparents didn't do, like their
teachings, their learnings yeah,it's like you're almost like,
yeah, I'm not going to do whatyou did, yeah, kind of thing,
because that's kind of where I'mat now.
I'm like I will never be likeyou and I never.
I never kind of had a friendlike you.

Rose Oates (28:53):
I know where you were going with that.
I think that's the tune cameinto my head.
But yeah, I was like this.
It's very, it's incredible thatyou've come from such a past
like so much.
Were you the eldest in thefamily as well?
I'm the baby of four.
Wow, but did you take charge?

Chrystal (29:17):
Yeah, pretty much.

Rose Oates (29:18):
So the baby, what made you step up over the elder
ones, Like could you see, likethey were, like didn't know what
to do.

Chrystal (29:27):
Wow, there's quite a big difference between me and my
other siblings, age-wise.
You know, I've got one that'sthree years older than me.
Me and my sister are very close, but she has four little ones,
like you.
Like, capacity is stretched?
Yes, it is, capacity isstretched.
And then I have an olderbrother as well that's nine
years older than me.

(29:47):
So there's quite a big age gap,but I was on my path, I was on
the journey.
You know, I was still home whena lot of the others had already
flown the next.
You know, they got a differentexperience of my mum than I did,
equally as challenging, astraumatic, but just a different
flavour of it.
But because I was on my healingjourney, I started to see

(30:11):
things in a new way.
And my other siblings at thattime they didn't have that
capacity.
So there was still a lot ofhatred going on for my mum and
how she behaved and how sheshowed up and the decisions she
made.
but because I had donequote-unquote my work, on myself
, I could see her in a new wayyep yeah so I didn't need to try

(30:33):
and change her, and this wasthe biggest thing like, well, I
don't want my mum to do that, Ineed her to be different.
But when I came to do my ownwork and then I could see that I
don't actually need to changethis, I can just love her, and
that took me a really long timeto get to like years because I
did hate her Like and I don'tsay that lightly.

(30:55):
We had a really hardrelationship for a long time and
I didn't feel like I was wantedlike and that has been
confirmed Like my mum even saidthat like so for me it was like
I had capacity to do this adifferent way and I felt like my
journey, my spirituality, myhealing path, everything brought

(31:16):
me to this place and my mum isone of my biggest teachers.
Wow.

Rose Oates (31:23):
Wow.
So when you moved to Australiaat 24, were you speaking to your
mum at the time?

Chrystal (31:31):
Yes.

Rose Oates (31:32):
We had reconciled our relationship.
Okay, but you hadn't really.
How long before you moved heredid you not speak to her?

Chrystal (31:40):
It went for probably maybe three years no contact, 16
, 16 till I was almost 20.
Yeah, and then I actually hadnowhere to live and had to go
crawling back.
Mum, can I live with you againplease?
But it was always very jaded.
The relationship was never.

(32:01):
I never had that with my mum.
It was never like a beautiful,loving relationship, until much
later.

But then it was almost too late but when you
moved back at whatever age itwas 19, 20 was she still in
those bad habits like, was shestill drinking, was she still
yeah it didn't stop yeah yeah,mum never changed.
Okay, so your whole entire lifepretty much she's been an
alcoholic.

Chrystal (32:27):
Yeah, wow.
And I think the mosttransformational time was when I
was 30.
Actually probably about 27.
, 27, I think it really startedto shift for me because I'd done
a lot of work then and I couldsee her in a new light and I
almost started to see beyondwhat she said and beyond her

(32:51):
actions.
I saw almost like her soul.
I saw the real person, yeah,that was loving and that was
caring and that did have thatbeautiful big heart, but it was
covered like my own was withpain and trauma and challenges
and her trajectory wasdistraction.
I'm going to drink becauselife's uncomfortable, yep.

Rose Oates (33:14):
That's her distraction, that's her masking.
Yeah, and.

Chrystal (33:18):
I wasn't prepared to walk down that path.
I'd done it with bulimia fortoo long.
Yep, I was like this is notgoing to be my journey and
everyone's got somethingdifferent.

Rose Oates (33:26):
So hers was alcohol, like mine was excessive sport
and disordered eating, I mean,and I'm sure yours is shopping-
Excessively it could be worse.
I mean it could be worse, itcould be worse.
But yeah, I swear, everyone'sgot something and some things
are just worse than others forthemselves and those around them

(33:48):
.

Chrystal (33:49):
Yeah, internally, you know, I think we all do it Like
who doesn't want to distract onsocial media.
God.
I just let me scroll on funnyreels for 20 minutes.
Who doesn't want to do that?
Because we want some reprievefrom discomfort.
Yeah, no one wants to sit inthat long term, but it's.
I've learned over the yearsthat the distraction is masking
something here.

Rose Oates (34:09):
Okay, maybe I just need to be here for a moment.

Chrystal (34:12):
This might be uncomfortable, but if I can be
here just for a moment, it willdissipate and I don't need a
tool to mask it, and then I'mfree.

Rose Oates (34:22):
Ooh, yeah, Like okay , how would you do that?
It is so uncomfortable when youare feeling like shit, Like how
do you even do that?
It is so uncomfortable when youare feeling like shit, Like how
do you even begin that?

Chrystal (34:32):
Okay, so scientifically proven, a feeling
only takes up to 120 seconds tomove through the body.

Rose Oates (34:41):
Okay.

Chrystal (34:42):
Tell me more.
Okay, so something happens andyou get pissed off or you're
upset, or something is arisingin your life that's cause for a
feeling, whatever it might be.
Most people cannot fully allowthat feeling to be.
What they do is they go andthink about why they feel it.
So you think, if you've everbeen angry for a couple of days,

(35:06):
like maybe someone's pissed youoff or they've done something,
like I'm so mad, you're reallyannoying me, they're not
annoying you for three days,they annoyed you in that moment
for three minutes or two minutes, and you carry it by thinking
about it for three days.

Oh my God, oh my God, that is.
I've been mad for five days, ohmy God.

Rose Oates (35:32):
I felt that I was like, oh my God, that made so
much sense, yeah.

Chrystal (35:38):
And we all do it, but I'm still mad.

Rose Oates (35:41):
Yeah, you're still mad because you think of all the
reasons why they shouldn't havedone it, or you know.
I'm talking about a person.
Oh God, no, but like yeah, soif you can be.

Chrystal (35:55):
You can be with that feeling and I'm not saying it's
comfortable Like, have you evertried to just allow anger to
move through you?
No, no, because you don't wantto, because it's like I don't
even know what that feels like.
What do you mean?
Yeah, okay, anger is what thatfeels like.
What do you mean?
Yeah, so okay, anger is one ofthe high spectrum emotions, so
it's got a lot of energy behindit and it's usually like it'll
boil up from your feet.
I feel it like it comes in andyou're like you want to let out

(36:18):
your fingers, like you want toscream, you want to do something
.
Just let that anger movethrough your body, be with like,
just be like.
Oh, my god, I'm going to stampmy feet, I'm going to.
I'm just want to, I'm justangry.
I'm just angry like oh my God,I'm going to stamp my feet, I'm
going to, I'm just want to, oh,I'm just angry.
I'm just angry Like, let it be,oh, oh, and then it moves.
And if you think, then you'restill angry.
You're not still angry.
You're thinking about whyyou're angry.

(36:40):
I'm thinking about that personthat pissed me off two days ago
and you're replaying the storyabout what they did or what they
said, or it should be different.
It shouldn't be any different.
It's in the past.

So pretty much we need to act like our
children, because our kids getangry, they scream, they stomp
their feet and then they're likehey, can I have a cookie?
Yeah.

Chrystal (37:00):
Kids are the most amazing expression of how to
deal with emotions becausethey're not conditioned like us.
Their egos often aren't fullydeveloped yet their like us,
their egos often aren't fullydeveloped yet their inner critic
isn't fully online.
So they just feel and I knowit's not comfortable when your
kid's on the floor in thesupermarket, like having the
biggest tantrum because youwon't let them have something.
But I just go, you are a fullyunexpressed emotion just riding

(37:21):
through the body.
Yep, they're fine.
A minute later.

So, rose, next time we just need to throw
ourselves on the floor in thisshopping centre.
It doesn't matter, just feel it, I feel it.

Rose Oates (37:29):
Actually, that's something that I don't do, like
sometimes I want to cry and Ijust should, and sometimes I say
to myself I just so, I'm likeI'm going to go watch the
Notebook, I want to find atrigger.

The Notebook the.

Rose Oates (37:41):
Notebook, something that's going to make me.
And I was like I just want tohave a really good cry.
She's like what?
And I was like I just need acry, like a therapeutic cry, and
let yeah, sometimes.
And then I think sometimes westop ourselves from being angry
or we've been conditioned as I'mgoing to say it again as
females, I feel like a lot ofour we're like supposed to be

(38:04):
good girls and supposed to bepolite and all this shit.
And it's like you know, I'vecome from an Italian family.
I've got to, you know, I'vebeen told not to let my pride
well, we're very proud people,but don't show other people what
you're feeling, don't let itout blah, blah, blah.
So, holding that emotion, notcrying, being strong.

Chrystal (38:26):
Those beliefs, right, we take on.
Yes, you know, my mum used tosay don't cry, you're okay.
What have you got to be madabout?
Oh, okay, so I'm never gonna bemad, I'm never gonna cry, I'm
gonna eat all my emotions.
Welcome to what I did for years.
Yes, that's me.
And this is where those beliefscome in that are often passed
down, that I say it's now ourresponsibility to unpack those

(38:47):
and go.
Oh, I think, or I'm believingto be true, that I can't do this
or that it's wrong.
Our responsibility to unpackthose and go.
Oh, I think, or I'm believingto be true that I can't do this,
or that it's wrong for me orbad If I just give myself
permission to be a human, likeI'm sorry, but I don't know one
person who doesn't feel.
But we all try and push it down.

Psychopaths.
Rose Googled it yesterday.

Rose Oates (39:05):
I was Googling it and I was like, oh, they don't
care about nothing, she's likewhat is a psychopath?

That's actually what she Googled
yesterday I was like.

Rose Oates (39:15):
I didn't actually know, I was like, but so let's
just feel.

Chrystal (39:19):
Let's feel Just give yourself permission to be a
human.

Rose Oates (39:22):
A hundred and twenty seconds is actually not that
long, it really isn't.
And then to let go of the whys,why we're angry, why we're sad,
like is there a time and place?
You can unpack that a littlebit, but I think letting go is
hard.

Chrystal (39:42):
I think a lot of people really struggle with it,
and I actually releasedsomething the other day where I
was sharing.
How about we just let it be?

Jesus Christ.
I wish I could.

Chrystal (39:52):
Because we don't like it.
I don't like that.
That happened, yes, oh, okay,that's okay to not like
something, but can you changewhat happened past tense?

You don't have to like it.
My jaw is literally likeclenching.

Rose Oates (40:12):
She's like I don't like it and I can't change it,
but I still don't like it.

There's so many things I'm mad about.

Chrystal (40:17):
Yeah.
So let yourself be mad, just bemad, yeah.

Rose Oates (40:22):
Sacred rage.
Yes, be mad.
What is that?

Chrystal (40:29):
Rage.
As women, we need to see itmore like unexpressed, like just
giving yourself permission thatyou are going to feel things.
Stop hiding it and pushing itin.
And that doesn't mean that theperson in your life needs to get
your rage.
It means you are with it.
Yes, do that.
And then it's like, oh, Iactually feel just that marginal

(40:50):
a little bit better.
Yeah, like your kids do whenthey let it out they feel fine
almost instantly.

Rose Oates (40:55):
Sometimes we feel really good after a cry, or
really good after just screamingor whatever it is, or just
actually being.

But how do we ?
I let go of things Likeliterally how.

Chrystal (41:15):
Okay, so rather than letting it go, because there's a
lot of pressure in that, youhave to let this go.
Oh, if you don't let it go,it's going to haunt you or
you're going to hold on to itforever.
Why can't you let it go,crystal?
Like, let it go and there'sthat pressure build up.
Okay, can I change this?
Yes or no?

(41:35):
No, okay, that's where you'repowerful.
I cannot change this you don'thave to like it.
Can I be with that?
stop, I'm gonna cry and that'sthe part that wants to release
it and that's the energy thatit's painful and life is and it
throws so many really hardthings at us over and over again

(41:58):
and it's letting that emotionbe like, yeah, I can be with my
feet, I can be with myself hereoh, but what if you can change
it?

Rose Oates (42:08):
see, I'm in the opposite.
I can change what I'm feeling,but I just stew on it instead
yeah, and a lot do and I did fora really long time and it was
my, my hardest work.

Chrystal (42:23):
Yeah, self-loathing, beating myself up, being mean to
myself, judging myself,criticizing myself living in my
head and I had so much pain, alot that I'd grown up with and
that I've continued to movethrough over the years.
But I've learned to alchemizethat pain and turn it into my
greatest strength oh and mybiggest power, and my mum was a

(42:45):
catalyst for that big time.

Rose Oates (42:49):
It's so powerful.
This is such a huge takeaway,charlotte, like I have to even
just thank you now, and we'renot even done talking.
This is why our podcast can'tgo for fucking an hour.
Damn it.
We know this All right.
Jeez, that was deep.
I'm going to take that away.
I think Chris is going to takethat away.

(43:10):
We're all in the feels rightnow.
What we don't know aboutcorporate.
I was reading what we don'tknow about corporate Charlotte
is she was a corporate debtcollector.
She was in corporate, she was adebt collector and I have to
bring this up because it makesme giggle and now she is a super

(43:31):
spiritual Reiki master.
What a 360.
Oh my god, like I can't evenexplain my life now I was like
how the hell yeah, it's wild,isn't it like?
And you also mentioned beforeand I want to know this story
you say that your granddad sentyour husband to you, so you've

(43:54):
come from Sydney and you come toPerth.
I was in Sydney when I met myhusband.

Chrystal (43:59):
You were in Sydney when you met your husband.
Yeah, debt collecting.
We both worked in insurance atthe time Really random, yep.
And there was a big of a set upgoing on at work.
They wanted me to meet this guythat worked for a broker and I
was like no, I don't need tomeet him, I'm not interested.
I'm single for the first time inyears, living the high life in
Sydney, all good, and it keptgoing for like three months.

(44:20):
I was like, oh my god, no, like, leave me alone.
And eventually he ended upcoming to the office for a
training and the state manager Ididn't need to be in this
training room and he literallysaid Charlotte, we need you in
here.
I was like no, no, no, no, no,you are all in on this.
To set me up with this guy, no,not interested.
Anyway, ended up having to goin this room.
It was the most awkward thingI've ever done in my life

(44:41):
because I was in the corner likeI do not want to, don't set me
up, please don't set me up.
Anyway, ended up meeting himthat night and we've been
together ever since.
Oh, that's cute.
And I was still healing at thattime, like I was still in the
throes, like in therapy and toldhim a little snippet, like I
didn't want the guy to run forthe hills about my past.

So how old?

Rose Oates (45:02):
were you when you met your partner, because you
were 24 when you got here, 25when I met him.
Okay, okay, okay, so you'vejust stopped.
How long were you binge free?
Did you say?
So I was purge free for aboutnine months when we got together
.

Chrystal (45:18):
But I was still in the throes of anxiety, like I
was still having panic attacks.
I couldn't get on publictransport.
I had a little bit ofagoraphobia.
I couldn't leave the housesometimes Like I was in, I was
just in a mess.
I was, I was a mess and Iremember this.
One night I was lay on my bedand my roommate at the time and
I just had a panic attack and Iliterally couldn't get out of my
bed and he was coming round.

(45:39):
We'd been together maybe threemonths.
I was like he's going to seethe depths right now.
If he doesn't run for the hillsI don't know what's going to
make him run for the hills and Iremember him coming into the
bedroom and he just sat on thefloor.
He didn't try and fix, hedidn't try and change it, he
just sat and I think he strokedmy head or held my hand and I

(45:59):
got this message Grandad senthim for you.
Oh, my God.

And I didn't know my grandad oh you never met
your grandad and I didn't knowmy granddad.

Chrystal (46:08):
Oh, you never met your granddad.
He died when I was I think Iwas about 18 months old oh wow,
was it your mum's dad or yourdad's dad?

Rose Oates (46:14):
My mum's dad.

Okay, now you throw a spatter in there Also.
I need to quickly get somethingout of me.
What's agoraphobia?

Chrystal (46:20):
Oh, you can't leave the house, oh, okay.

I was just thinking about it.
I thought it was when you'reangry and you're like
agoraphobia.

Rose Oates (46:31):
You know what?
You wouldn't have been the onlyone thinking that.

Oh, okay, good, you can't leave the house.
Oh, I can't leave the house.
Okay, like hermit.

Chrystal (46:37):
Yeah.

Yeah, agoraphobia.

Chrystal (46:39):
Agoraphobia See another learning.
It better be called that now,and I've not just made it up.

Yeah, it just didn't Sounded like when you're
angry Like you're angry.
Oh, that's crazy.
I have to Google that now.

Rose Oates (46:52):
Yeah, oh, my God, I was going to while you were like
telling your story and then Iwas like, oh, I bet not, it's
rude, that's us Not rude, justlike distracted, that ADHD brain
.
I'm still like what holding?
You never met your granddad.
Now I'm like getting thisspatter in the works which is
your husband maybe now, but wasyour husband like spiritual?

Chrystal (47:12):
at all when we met.
I would say he's way morespiritually connected than I was
.
Like his mum was always intohomeopathy and she was always
doing things like that.
Oh God, what's?

homeopathy, natural medicine.
Stop saying like these words,because I don't know what they
mean.
Natural medicine, okay.
Herbs Okay.
Good, it was better than what Ithought it was going to be.
Well, I was kind of likehomophobic I don't know Homos
what did you say?
Homeopathy?

Chrystal (47:39):
Okay.

I'm glad it was that.
Okay.
She's not homophobic.

Chrystal (47:48):
He was more spiritually connected.
I think I asked him like youwere religious, like anything
like that.
I think he told me he wasBuddhist and I laughed at him
like I was not on the spiritualpath that's what I mean.
I didn't, you weren't there no,no, no, no, no.
So it was through the journey,yeah, and he was.
Yeah, he's just so grounded,like so centered, like you've
done, like a 360 on him as well.

Hold a minute though.
So at this point you were notpsychic.

Chrystal (48:14):
I'd say no, no hold on a minute?

You were, but you were not knowing.

Chrystal (48:17):
I didn't know I was.
Yes.
So I always used to feel likeor have knowings and senses of
something going on, like therewas gut feelings of I need to do
this, I've got to move to Perth, I need to move to Perth.
I don't know why I need to dothis.
I've got to move to Perth, Ineed to move to.
Perth.
I don't know why I have to dothis right now.

Rose Oates (48:34):
It was like this pull that I couldn't explain,
but you didn't know exactly whatit was called or what you were
feeling, yeah.

Chrystal (48:40):
And then when I did my Reiki training, which was
about seven years ago now, Iwent through like a whole
massive journey, like thecraziest shit happened to me in
a week.
I was like I actually calledthe Reiki master and said you
need to stop this.
Like I couldn't close my eyeswithout like seeing all these
lights.
I was traveling throughgalaxies.

(49:01):
I was like awake for three dayslike fuck, you need to make
this stop.
You think you're going mental.
I thought I was going mentaland then I'd walk past people in
the street and I'd go, oh god,and I was feeling all these
things from people but had noclue what it was.
I was so confused I was likewhat is this?
And then when I started to giveReiki, then it made sense

(49:25):
because I was like, oh, they'renot, it's not, it's not me.
Like I'm feeling all thesethings coming from other people.
I'm empathetically connectingand receiving all this guidance
that's coming through.

Rose Oates (49:36):
So is that the difference between mediumship
and psychic?
So are you feeling?

Chrystal (49:42):
There's lots of different varieties of psychic
senses, so they're called yourclair senses.
So you can be clairvoyant,which is where you see things in
the room, like you may see anenergy, you may see a spirit.
I'm not clairvoyant.
You can be clairsentient, whichI am, where you have a feeling
like there's a sense ofsomething.
I'm also claircognizant, so Iknow things without knowing how

(50:02):
I know them, and then I'm alsoclairempath, so I feel.
So everyone has psychic senses,senses everyone has the ability
to connect to them.
It's only when you you have towork on them.
They're a practice to developand grow as they get stronger
and stronger.
And for me it was confusing atfirst because I didn't get it.
I didn't understand.

(50:23):
A mediumship is where you tapinto spirit from the other side.
Sometimes that happens to meduring a healing.
If, if I'm healing somebody,sometimes I get an energy and
it's like this Usually I'll geta feel on one side of my body
that comes through.
Usually it's right for a female, left for a male.
That'll come through.
Sometimes they say I'm thisperson and I go okay, yep,

(50:44):
awesome, thanks for this.
Great.
And I'm really practical withit too, because sometimes it
doesn't make sense to me.
I go.
I have no idea what this meansLike I saw so many situations
that I can tell you.
But I saw at one time this ladycame in for a healing and her
grandma came into the sessionand she had this like really
random umbrella like and it wasthis weird umbrella thing, and

(51:07):
she's like pointing thisumbrella at me and I'm like okay
, and I can just like sense andknow, and she started saying
this stuff to me.
So I'm like okay, I have noidea if this makes sense.
And I told the client and shewas like oh my god, my nana Jo
and I was like nana Jo had anumbrella.
Yeah, she used to use it aslike a walking stick and she'd

(51:28):
point it at us when we were kids.

Rose Oates (51:29):
And I was like oh, okay, now that makes sense.
That's made me get all.
Yeah, that's crazy.

Chrystal (51:36):
And it doesn't happen all the time.
Usually when the spirit'sreally close or they're really
connected and ready to comethrough, they will.
So it won't happen for everysingle person or in every
session, but the Claire sentientand the Claire knowing piece
for me does, so I can touchsomebody and when I'm connected

(51:56):
to, I feel but I used to alwaysbe open Like I didn't realise
that I can turn it off and thenswitch it on again because I was
just open to oh my God, oh myGod, the world's so hard and why
is everyone struggling?
Like I felt everything sodeeply, but now I can turn it
off and on, which is great.

Rose Oates (52:10):
Yes, for my sanity, I can imagine.
Yeah, I could definitelyunderstand where you're coming
from there, oh my God.
So I was driving here and I'vegot to go with my gut on this.
Then I kept imagining myselfasking you why Perth?
So you have been all over theworld, everywhere, like how many

(52:31):
countries?
I think you said 35.
I'm at 50, now 50 countries.

And yet you have I've done two.

Rose Oates (52:42):
And you've chosen Perth and I kept thinking why
Perth?

Chrystal (52:46):
Yeah, there was something special about it here
I I really realized how much Ican trust that feeling, that
knowing time and time again it'sguided me more than I can ever
explain, like what's comethrough from me.
Deeply trusting in that wisdomand I've lived in Canada.

(53:07):
Canada is also a real specialplace in my heart.
You know, I lived in Thailandfor a bit Europe, but when I
came to Perth I felt like therewas something here.
I didn't know what it was, Icouldn't explain it.
It was whether it's the energyof the place or the clients I
get to meet or the healing thatgets to happen here for me, and
I was just like I've got to go.

(53:28):
Okay, work, I'm leaving, I'mtransferring to Perth, if that's
okay.
I told my husband like we'dbeen together, I think, 10
months.
I was like so moving to Perth,I'm moving, I'm moving.

Rose Oates (53:40):
I really like your stuff.

Chrystal (53:42):
Would love it if you'd come with me.
And he was like yeah, why not?
He's a traveller, he's atraveller too.
So he's like yeah.
And then we came here and yeah,what happened, you know for me
during that time I think Perthheld me in it.
A lot of big moments and eventshappened for me here too, but
yeah, it's just somethingspecial about it, and you only

(54:04):
know when you live there, right?

Rose Oates (54:05):
Yeah, it is true, I do love Perth.
I can't imagine living anywhereelse.
But then again, I haven'treally lived anywhere else, but
I do love to travel.
But then okay, so you're inPerth, you've dragged pretty
much.
You're like I really like you,you're coming If you want to be
with me, you're coming to Perthtoo.
Since then you've, like, helpedpeople.

(54:27):
You help people internationally, online, in person.
You do everything.

Chrystal (54:35):
I did it remotely.
I was a digital nomad for twoyears.
I felt a pull again, like Iwant to travel, I want to see
the world, I want to experiencedifferent cultures, I want to
see what it's like to have nopossessions and live out of a
bag.
I just wanted to do that formyself, like to fully live life,
like and I'm a big one fordoing that and when I feel the
pull, no matter how scary it is,I go okay, let's go, we're

(54:56):
doing it, and off we go well,that gives me anxiety.

I don't think I could do that.

Rose Oates (55:01):
I'm too scared so two years digital nomad actually
is really freeing.
You realise how much you don'tneed this is you recently in
Bali.

This is me.

Rose Oates (55:12):
I realise I need nothing and that is freedom.
It's beautiful.
I didn't care about anything.
The house could have burneddown to the ground, All I wanted
was my dog.
I did not care about one thingabout shoes, about bags, about
nothing.
Like I was like eh, I've goteverything I need here.
Experience, my kids, my family.

(55:35):
And it was such I can't getthat feeling out of my head,
Such a nice, nice feeling.
And then, with the intuition,you say we've all got that.
I swear we all do.
We all have the gut instinct,Like how important is it to
actually listen to it when it'sscreaming at you?

Chrystal (55:55):
even if you're not a super spiritual person, you know
, you don't need to be to definespirituality these days, like I
think it's anything, but Ithink so many people live in
their head, they overthinkthings, they second guess, they
worry, they live in fear,overthinking the future, what's
coming, living in the past andfor me, your intuition is like
that guidance system that cansupport you, and everyone gets

(56:17):
it in a different way.
Some people feel it in theirgut, like I've just got this
feeling, or my gut's justtelling me I should ring that
person.
I just feel like I should drivedown this street.
So it's a feel, like a lot ofit is a feel or a sense.
That's the way I give people tostart off with really starting
to tune into it like is this, isthis my head?
Is it fair?
Is it like you should do?

(56:39):
You need to?
That's the mind that's comingin.
Your intuition is going to bemore of that, like softer,
gentler move to birth.
That makes no sense and it'soften like a statement that will
come through and that can alsobe spirit talking to you.
They may talk in statement form.
It's never loud, shouty, bossy,mean, cruel.
That's not your intuition,that's your mind.

(57:00):
It's that okay, I'm feelingsomething.
There's this weird thing that Ifeel like I just should do this
.
I don't know why, but there's afeeling behind it.
Often your intuition is notalways going to be comfortable.
People think, oh, my intuitionis going to be all roses and
butterflies.
Oh yeah, charlotte, selleverything you own and travel
the world Right now.

(57:21):
Really, you want me to do that.
Or you need to move to Perthand tell your husband like, oh
OK, this is really scary.
What if he says no?
What if he leaves me?
Ok, I want to move to Perth.
Trust in it anyway.
Trust in it anyway and startwith small things.
So if you want to start to workwith your intuition, start with
what you want for your lunch.

(57:41):
Do I have this roll or do I eatthis salad?
Oh, a feeling, a pull towardsthe roll.
Great, because your body isgoing to tell you what it wants
and guide you versus oh, youknow, you should eat the salad
because it's better for you.

My, it wants and guide you versus oh, you
know, you should eat the saladbecause it's better for you.
My body wants the roll today.
I mean, just tell me to do it.
I was going to say if KFC and aside was in front of me, I'm
going to go for KFC, butsometimes you might not.

Rose Oates (58:04):
Sometimes you're like I'm not feeling like grease
and you'll go with what feelsright.

Chrystal (58:10):
Your gut, you know your gut.
Oh my God, is my gut going tolove that deep fried thing?
Probably, Probably.

Rose Oates (58:17):
No, my senses smell.

It's finger licking good.

Rose Oates (58:24):
I don't really like KFC?

No, I don't actually.
I like the smell of it and thenI eat it and then I'm like, oh,
straight away, instant regret.

Rose Oates (58:34):
Also celiac, so probably shouldn't have been
eating that coated chicken.
But celiacs, anyone withgluten-free, anyone with a
lactose intolerance, they likeall those things.
I love bread.
I want to go to heaven.
My last wish is a sourdough.
I want a hot, fresh crunchysourdough.

(58:55):
Yes, slather, Slather and I'mgoing out.

Is there a reason why we're always talking
about bread?
I?

Rose Oates (59:01):
love bread, because when you can't have it.

We just always do.
We just always talk about breadI'm gluten free too and when
you can't have it, they bring itto you in the restaurant.

Rose Oates (59:10):
And they put the little dinner roll next to you
and they're like bread ma'am,and I'm like fuck off or they're
like that's your role and youcould literally build a house
with it.

I'm like, yeah, cool.

Rose Oates (59:22):
I was like what is that?
Oh my god but you know Iactually had it this week.

I got myself into a pigle and somebody was
demanding things from me and mybody was literally going do not
do this, do not do it.
And in my head was saying oh,this and that and you have to do
it and blah, blah, and myinsides were screaming like do
not so.
Then I was like I can't sorry,there's something telling me no,

(59:50):
like it is literally saying noit's screaming at you screaming,
like I know you just said, thenit doesn't scream.
I was like this was fuckingscreaming, because you weren't
listening it was like

Chrystal (01:00:00):
no it will whisper, it will nudge, and then it'll
smack around the head with a twobefore.
Oh, you feel the noise a littlebit of it.
Oh, you shouldn't do that, andthen you do it, and then it's
like oh no, don't do that andthen you feel that again and you
feel it again for again, thenit'll just, it will just be like
, okay, we're going to put youin bed for a day.
Are you going to listen now?
And you go, fuck, put you inyour ass.
Why didn't I listen to thatwhisper?

Charlotte Beswick (01:00:25):
And you learn over time to start listening to
the whisper and I still feelshit about it, but I'm like no,
my insides are saying that thisisn't right.

Rose Oates (01:00:31):
It just made me think about like your body
whispers before it screams.
So it's like listening to yourbody as in like even when you're
not feeling well, like yourbody's been telling you for God
knows how long.

Oh well, I wonder over here who ignores
that?
Because you run on bloody emptyand then you're like, oh, I
wonder why I'm having a burnout.

Yeah, I know.
Okay, I was saying you as in,like the listeners, but I knew
it was me Fucking asshole, so Imy body whispers.

She's like I'm so tired, but I'm just going
to drive three hours down southto do this and then end up in
bed for a full week.

Yeah, I got the flu, okay A and B, and the only way
you can get influenza A and B atthe same time is if you caught
it at the same time and I waslike, okay, I need to rest, cool
, I will.
And I'm actually stillrecovering from it.
It's taken a long time, butenough about me Again, stop, it
Can't help it.

I know.

She's like targeting me.

Yeah, well, you need to sometimes hear it.
So, and I got a microphone.

And I can tell you right now Excuse me, we have a
guest.
This is a personal, of course.
I just love him.
This is great.

I don't know why, but today, like not today,
but since you've been here, forsome reason, I feel like my body
wants to crawl inside itself.
Is that weird?
No, I'm just being dead serious, like I literally feel, like
it's so strange, I don't know iflike things are happening.

I don't know.
Maybe you're listening toyourself, Maybe she's like I
don't know Something weird'shappening.

My body's feeling weird.

You're feeling, yeah , you're quiet today.

Yeah, I feel strange, I think too many things
are happening.

Strange bad, strange good.

No, I I'm in a negative place at the moment.

And you know, sometimes when I speak or I'm
sharing some truth orsomething's landing or you're
getting emotional.
It's uncomfortable for people.

Like, look, I'm like this, Like I'm 50.
Yeah, bitch, I think it's yourturn now.

It's uncomfortable when you're listening to
yourself and realising thingsand letting go.

I need to learn how to and listen to your
gut.
But I'm like maybe we should goget our rakes and go in the
garden and do some raking.

So I can stop feeling uncomfortable.
I think that's a differentpractice altogether.
You're thinking of like do youknow what she's thinking of?

I'm thinking like Japanese you know the
little rakes in the garden.
Yeah, she's thinking of thethings.
What's that called?

My kids call no.
My mum's call oh, my God Of allthings.
My mum's calling on our littlemum.
I'm on a podcast, I can't talkright now.
Oh shit, okay, got to go mum.

Bye.
Oh, that was funny, did she go?
Oh shit, she goes, oh shit.

I was like of course we're talking about mother
wounds.
Yeah, hi, mum Actually.
Yeah, lots of things about mumLike this week is all mum for me
.
All about mum things, yeah.

Usually it's all dad for me, but this week
it's been all mum for me.

Yeah, it's been a really interesting theme for the
past couple of weeks that.
I'm noticing, with clients andpeople sliding into my DM being
like have you got a podcast onthis or can you talk into it
please, Because I'm reallystruggling with it.

My sister's going to listen to this and it's
going to be like it's going totrigger.

Yeah.

It's going to be like mind blowing for her
too.

Okay.
So then, coming back to that,because obviously mum was
keeping me on track, because Iwas like, okay, we're an hour in
and I and my mum had to calland I always have my phone off,
so for some reason it must havebeen a little bit of guidance
there.
Your mum, you've healed yourrelationship with your mum and
it's taken so long.

(01:04:04):
Where is your relationship atnow?
And we're sharing with usbefore as well that your mum now
has a rare, very rare form ofdementia.
So after all these years, youfinally healed your relationship
and now we're here.
Can you tell us a little bitmore about it and what's going
on?

So she initially got diagnosed about eight years ago
and I noticed things.
You know she lives over in theUK and I started to notice
things.
When I was calling her shewould be saying things that
didn't quite make sense, likesometimes she'd drop a random
word in a sentence.
I was like, oh, a little bitworried about that.
Um, she actually we flew herout to Perth.

(01:04:45):
She came here and spent acouple of weeks with us.
She'd never been to Australia.
It was beautiful and that tripreally highlighted for me that
something was really wrong,something's not not right here
like I can sense.
You know there's a lot andthere was lots of triggers in
that trip.
You know she still activatedparts of me that was like, oh my
god, my inner child right nowwants to scream at you and I'm
pissed off and I'm having toreparent and she got lost and so

(01:05:08):
many things happened.
But I really realized okay,something's wrong.
So then we ended up gettingdiagnosis for her and it turns
out she has a really rare formof dementia.
It's diagnosed young I thinkshe was 57 when she got
diagnosed with it and it affectsonly 1% of the population and

(01:05:31):
the life expectancy is six years.

They said that's good, she lasts six years
.
Before when you talked aboutthis, I went straight to.

Was this from from her being an alcoholic or no?
It's not connected.
I believe on the spiritual pathlike this is my personal belief
too is that there are a numberof factors that have triggered
this.

You know how great to forget all your pain that's
true she was already trying todo that her whole life by then.

Oh, 100%.
And I really believe that.
You know she never looked afterherself, she never loved
herself, she never cared forherself.
She gets cared for full timenow.
She gets fed, she gets loved,she gets looked after.
And sometimes the way Iperceive it from a deep, like
soul level is we will learn andget the experiences this

(01:06:17):
lifetime.
That's part of that soul path,I believe, especially with her
own journey and what she wentthrough and experienced.
And you know there's so muchnew research out about dementia
now.
You know I did a lot ofresearch back in the day but
because it's so rare the formthat she has and not a lot of
people understood it, like theythought she's got dementia, I'm
like, but she doesn't.

(01:06:37):
Like you think that it's thatbracket of she's forgetful, but
it's not.
Like she still knows who we are.
Like even now she can't talk,she can't walk, she can't feed
herself, she's barely mobile.
But I walk into that room and Iguarantee you will see her
smile like you've never seen asmile.

Yep so does she recognize you?
Yeah, yeah, she still knows.

She still knows, who you are she knows what's going
on, yeah, but she just can'tcommunicate.
She can't she write or no, shecan't write she can't read, she
can't watch, she can hear, butthat's basically.
The last thing that she's gotis a is a hearing.

Yeah, because not all forms and like she's
nonverbal, yeah, yeah.

So it's been, again, a really big journey, but
because I'd done and healed somuch of my relationship with her
, I could just love her.
Oh, and my husband and I caredfor her for nine months back in
2019.
Yep, we went back and we lookedafter her and cared, cared for

(01:07:37):
her.

Rose is just like about to throw her and
cared, cared for her.
Rose is just like about tothrow her phone at the wall.
I am.

I actually hate my.
I spend a lot of time on myphone but I actually hate you
sat on it.

I sat on it and everything.

I didn't even want.
I'm just and you know what'sworse, I couldn't work out how
to shut it off.
I was like I'll go turn thisoff.
I actually hate speaking on thephone, literally Like I was
like no one talk to me again.
I need to heal from that aswell.
I've really enjoyed speaking toyou about all this.
It's very deep.
I fucking have learnt more thanI thought I was going to learn

(01:08:12):
how?
About you, you're still, you'rethinking, you're really
taking're really taking it in.
Yeah, this is home, thisepisode definitely.

But I I said to rose, before you even came in
, I was like I feel like this isit's going to be weird for me.
There was just something thatjust felt.
I don't know how to explain it.
I don't know how to explain it.
I feel weird, my body feelsweird.

That's all I'm going to say well, as soon as I
started telling crystal aboutwhat we're gonna talk about
today, I was like I'll just giveyou a rough like idea of what
like I've, you know, done somevoices with with Charlotte we're
talking about, you know, likemother wounds, and I really feel
like I need to lean into likemy mom and the story there,
because a lot of people feel it.
She was just like, well, let metell you what's been going on

(01:08:56):
the last couple of days and Iwas like, oh, it's a lot, yeah,
and I do see a lot I have seenit a lot lately actually on
social media People talkingabout, like, their relationships
with their mums and how they'redisappointed or how they wish
they had a differentrelationship and how they crave
it and how Mother's Day actuallytriggers a lot of people for

(01:09:21):
that reason.
So it's very interesting in theway that you've been able to
say I mean, can you change it?

It's this expectation of what we expect from our mums
and how we want them to show upand how we want them to be and
how we want them to act, and itwe want them to be and how we
want them to act, and it's hardto have something that's
different to that.
Yeah, it really is, and whenyou look at it and the way I've
done this is, my mum is the wayshe is and she chose a journey

(01:09:51):
and she is a human, you know,and she went through and
navigated life and I can'tchange that.
I couldn't change what she did.
I couldn't change how she talkedcouldn't change how she showed
up or any of that she said to me.
But I could choose my choice.
How do I want this to carryforward?
Do I want to this to be mystory where I blame her and I'm
a victim?

(01:10:11):
And you, why didn't you do?
And I was in that for a longtime until I went hold on.
Now I'm giving my power awayand I want to enjoy my life.
I want to live my life to thefullest.
I don't want this to be myexperience and I'm committed to
loving you and having zeroexpectations of you as a parent
wow, that that's yes.

Look at her.
I know I can't look at youright, it's hard, it's really
hard.

I'm like super envious of you right now.

Yeah, because she's there and you're not there yet.

And you'll get there If you're committed to doing the
work and anyone that'slistening.
I know it's painful and I knowit's hard but, trust me, your
freedom exists on the other sideof it.

I'm just like how the hell are you like this?

I want to be like you , but I just don't see it
happening, you're talking andI'm like that's what I want to
be like but my brain is likesaying other things Because it's
unfamiliar, right?
We've all been in thatsituation where it's like, oh,
you should do it and we'reattached to it.
And when we're not attached toanything, they do or say oh,

(01:11:20):
hold on a minute, you can justbe the human that you are and I
can just love you and trust me.
When my mum got diagnosed andI've grieved and I'm still
grieving her, she's still withus.
Eight years later, watching thathappen slowly has been so
painful.
And do you know what she taughtme?

(01:11:41):
How to love myself.
Oh so, from all that hate andall that pain and all that
trauma that I went through as achild, now watching her, it
teaches me to love me, because Ihave to sit and grieve when I
hold her hand and I have to loveher and she might not be here
next week or next month.
She's my biggest spiritualteacher, because I learned how

(01:12:01):
to be the best person I can befrom everything that I
experienced, and that's yourchoice.
No one can take that away fromyou ever, and that's where
you're powerful, jesus oh my god.

Honestly, I think this whole week I was like
saying, like stop playing thefucking victim card.
But maybe I'm the one that'splaying the victim card, maybe
I'm the one that's like I'm thevictim, I'm the problem it's me.

And if you were powerful, what would you do?

Don't ask me that question, because I'm not.

If you were, what would you do?
If you were a powerful human,what would you do?

I would forgive her.

Well, first forgive yourself.
Oh it's fucking.
Jesus.

All I can say is right now I just want to thank
your mum, exactly.
I want to thank your mum forcreating the person that you are
, and this is where I could getemotional with you.
You need to thank your mum forcreating Crystal that she is
today, and I want to thank allthe people that fucking did me
dirty and they did and Ishouldn't make a joke of it

(01:13:13):
Because, honestly, they've mademe the person that I am today.

I mean it doesn't mean that I have to.
We do grow from our traumas,don't we?

Yes, If you're willing to integrate and learn
from them.
And integrating it is notpretty, but what you just said,
rose, is so powerful.
Because it's that, thank you,oh my gosh.
Every single person I get toheal or mentor or that's
listening to this podcast orthat I get to serve and support
is because of my mum.

(01:13:41):
So all that quote-unquotenegative or horrible things she
ever said to me made me the bestperson ever.
It made me have compassion in myheart.
It made me able to hold someoneelse in the darkest, deepest
stuff, because I've been thereand my mum's my biggest teacher
and my greatest lesson, and I'mso grateful to her disease

(01:14:02):
because it also gave me thatWithout dementia, I wouldn't
really understand what true lovefor myself looked like.
Oh my.

God, it's such a powerful moment.
Wow, charlotte, I just don'tknow what to say.
I was going to have questionsand be like what can you teach
us?
I think the whole time, thiswhole episode, you've taught us
just so much and I hope that thepeople listening like today or
whenever they listen just cantake a little piece away from

(01:14:30):
this.
There's so many moments therethat I've just been sitting here
with my mouth open like, oh myGod there that I've just been
sitting here with my mouth openlike, oh my God, just so many
logical moments where I was like, oh, that makes so much sense,
oh, okay, but even the gratitudeand it makes me think of my own

(01:14:54):
gratitude, I suppose and thisis where I have healed a lot is
that I'm actually I have.
I have not a lot.
Not a lot doesn't mean none.
I have still got a lot ofhealing to do, but not a lot of
hate for things and the peoplethat have done me wrong in my
past or things that havehappened to me, because I am so

(01:15:16):
happy to be in the position thatI am today to be able to share
my pain, to help others workthrough this.
So, yeah, thank you so much forall your, your knowledge and
your words and your wisdom andtaking the time today.
But, yeah, also thank you toyour mum.

(01:15:36):
Who would have thought I wouldhave been thanking your mum on
your podcast today?
Who would have not?
But, yeah, we're reallygrateful that you came on today.

Thanks so much for having me.
So I guess now we need to know,like where do people book a
session with you?
How do we find you?
Yeah, all the dates.

So I'm on Instagram.
Know my story is quite a lot,which is charlotte underscore
basic um, you can book a healingwith me.
I work out of freemantle inperth and also osborne park on
different days of the week andalso virtual healings and
mentoring.
So I support people withmentoring sessions, whether it's
to work through somethingthey're stuck on, a belief you

(01:16:16):
know how to love themselves onthe deepest level possible and
get out of their head.
That's via mentoring and youcan find my website details
below as well.

We will put everything in the show notes for
you to find Charlotte.

I also just want to say that I am giving you a
discount, so anyone that listensto this podcast.
Use the code BEARING15 for a15% discount off a healing
session.

Well, we'll be booking our own session, legit,
but no word of a lie.
If you yes, we will puteverything that you can find
Charlotte through on our shownotes, but, honestly, jump on
her Instagram.
She provides such amazinglittle short snippets of wisdom
every single day.

(01:16:59):
That's where I found Charlotteoriginally.
I think Somehow we connected onInstagram, but I just.
Every single day, she'll justpop up and there's always
something that she's givingsomeone else and it's actually
really beautiful if.
If there's anywhere to startwith charlotte, it's definitely
on her stories and instagram.
So, yeah, thank you so much forjoining us so much.

I'm sorry I was so quiet today, but anyways,
I know I took in a lot.

I'm sorry, I took in a lot thanks ladies, sometimes
we we're not only healing andsharing for other people, we're
doing it for that song that wewere singing on the weekend just
came into my head.

Which one?
Sometimes I run, Sometimes Icry.
No, is it Cry?
Addy.
Sometimes I'm scared of you,but all I really want is to hold
you tight.
We've got the wrong words Deepinside.
Am I singing it wrong?
Yeah, probably.

Or close?

I don't know no.

I don't know, we always do this.

We were singing it on the weekend and I was just
like.

This is so relevant right now, oh my.

God, All right everybody.
So, like always, make sure youtake care of yourselves and take
care of each other, bye, bye.

All Episodes

Charlotte Beswick - Insights on Healing, Intuition and Forgiveness

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Crime Junkie

24/7 News: The Latest

Stuff You Should Know

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Charlotte Beswick - Insights on Healing, Intuition and Forgiveness