July 24, 2024 • 52 mins
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What happens when a determined special needs teacher from Western Australia faces the shocking reality of stage two invasive ductal carcinoma diagnosis at just 30 years old? Join us on Bearing it All with Rose and Crystal as we welcome Ash, who shares her powerful story of survival, resilience, and advocacy. Ash's unexpected discovery of a lump during a shower sets in motion a whirlwind of medical interventions and the beginning of her remarkable journey. Her collaboration with Pink Hope Australia underscores her dedication to spreading awareness and the critical importance of early detection.
Ash's journey through breast cancer treatment is nothing short of extraordinary. From the lumpectomy that successfully removed her cancer to enduring the gruelling effects of chemotherapy, Ash's unwavering determination to maintain her full-time teaching role during treatment is a testament to her incredible strength. This episode dives deep into her coping mechanisms, the life-saving role of counselling and workshops, and the severe physical toll chemotherapy took on her body, including severe bone aches and fatigue. Ash’s narrative highlights the importance of supportive services and sheds light on the emotional and physical challenges faced by those battling cancer.
Life after cancer treatment presents its own unique set of challenges, and Ash doesn't shy away from openly discussing her ongoing fears, survivor's guilt, and the heartbreak of losing loved ones to cancer. With the wisdom gained from her own experience, Ash emphasizes the necessity of strong support systems and the invaluable role friends and family play in offering both practical and emotional help. We close with Ash’s impassioned advice on the importance of regular self-examinations and proactive healthcare. Tune in to hear Ash's inspiring story and essential insights into maintaining breast health.
Breast Cancer Network Australia - Find services, government programs and support groups in your area.
Cancer Council - range of support services for all people affected by all cancers across every state and territory.
Cancer Chicks Australia is A community for young women who support and empower each other through their experiences with cancer.
Look Good Feel Better is a national cancer-support program that offers free in-person and online workshops and Confidence Kits to help people with any type of cancer manage the most common physical and psychological impacts of treatment. Providing practical tips and tools helps to connect a community of people living a shared experience and empowers them to regain control, confidence, and a sense of self.
Connect with Rose and Chrystal on Instagram for more stories and fun mini-weekly catch-ups.
DM the girls, get involved with the conversations, and feel free to ask questions!
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And don’t forget to take care of yourself and each other -
With Love Rose & Chrystal x
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Chrystal (00:00):
Welcome back to another episode of Bearing it
All with Rose and Crystal.
Today we are honoured to haveAsh with us.
Ash is a 36-year-old specialneeds teacher from Western
Australia who has an incrediblestory of resilience and advocacy
.
Ash is a breast cancer survivorwho bravely underwent four
months of chemotherapy andradiation treatment.
Not only did Ash conquer thispersonal battle, but they also
(00:23):
turned their experience into amission, working with Pink Hope
Australia to spread the messageabout importance of early
detection.
Ash, welcome to Bearing it All.
Rose Oates (00:34):
Welcome Ash to the pod.
Thanks so much for coming on.
Thank you so much.
Chrystal (00:38):
Ash is actually one of Halo's clients and she's
become a little regular at thesalon, yep, and over the time at
Halo, ash has shared a bit ofher story, and it's actually a
story that we all need to hear,I feel, yep.
So I think let's just get intoit, like, tell us a bit about
you, what you do, what you wentthrough.
Ash (01:01):
So I was diagnosed.
I'm 36, I was diagnosed at 30.
And it was a really strangelead up to the diagnosis because
I was going crazy on a dietbecause I wanted to lose weight
for my friend's wedding and Ithink because of that and I did
lose weight, so yay me.
But because of that I felt alump when I was having a shower.
Chrystal (01:25):
So the cancer diagnosis was breast cancer.
Ash (01:28):
Yeah, so it was stage two invasive ductal carcinoma and it
was an estrogen positive, so itwas triggered by estrogen.
Mind you, when my GP told meall these words, I had no idea
what she was saying.
Rose Oates (01:44):
Can I go back to the lump though?
Yes, Now you're in the shower.
When my GP told me all thesewords, I had no idea what she
was saying Can I go back to thelump though?
Ash (01:46):
Yes.
Rose Oates (01:47):
Now you're in the shower and you feel this lump.
But what did it actually feellike?
What made you even go?
Oh, that doesn't feel right.
Ash (01:54):
So the best way for me to describe it was like you have
your AirPods case, right yeah,and it was like half the size of
an AirPod case.
Oh, and it was like half thesize of an AirPod case, and it
was hard, that's quite big and Iwas like that's not normal,
that is not normal at all.
Yeah, so I got out of the shower, called my cousin, who's a
(02:18):
surgeon, over in New South Wales, and I just asked her what do I
do?
Because, back story, she's alsobeen through breast cancer
herself.
Okay, and I told her this iswhat I feel, I don't know, I
have no idea what do I do.
And she's like all right, let'sjust, you know, don't panic,
just get yourself a GPappointment, let them know of
(02:41):
the history that you've got andif they sort of dismiss you,
push for an ultrasound.
So I met the next day.
I made an appointment,surprisingly, got an 8 am
appointment at the GP and when Ispoke to the lady, thankfully
the GP that I was seeing waslike okay, you know what, let's
(03:03):
just send you for an ultrasound.
Yeah, I love that.
And everything sort of fellinto place because I got an
ultrasound appointment for 8.45.
Chrystal (03:11):
On the same day.
Ash (03:12):
On the same day, that is like never happens, never yeah,
never Okay 8.45 the same day atSt John of God, Subie and I went
to the GP just near Woolies, soI just walked over.
I walked over, I went for theultrasound and in the ultrasound
room the radiologist was likeoh yeah, I see something there.
(03:36):
I'm going to just get thedoctor to come in.
Oh God, I feel like that isnever a good thing right Any
pauses when they just hover,exactly.
And so at that point it feltlike a lump in my stomach.
Rose Oates (03:53):
Yeah, were you on your own as well.
Ash (04:05):
I was.
Chrystal (04:05):
I was on my own.
I live in.
Ash (04:06):
Australia on my own.
My parents are all in Malaysia,my family's all in Malaysia,
and so I felt it was like whatthe hell?
So the doctor came in and saidlook, there is something there,
and just to be safe, I want todo a biopsy and I'm going to
send you for a mammogram as well.
I was 30.
I'd never had a mammogrambefore.
Chrystal (04:21):
But they don't do mammograms at 30.
What's the age for a mammogram?
Rose Oates (04:23):
I think, it's like 40.
But I think that's even lifted.
Ash (04:27):
I think it used to be 50.
Yeah, so now it's 40.
So I was like, okay, cool, yep,let's do this.
I had never had a biopsy in mylife before, and when I saw that
needle I was like what?
Yeah, it's huge right, theliving hell is this, and that's
(04:47):
when I was like, oh crap.
Rose Oates (04:49):
So it hadn't really dawned on you until you saw like
you went in for the biopsy.
Chrystal (04:52):
Really Wait.
How long after the ultrasoundwas the biopsy?
Ash (04:57):
So the ultrasound, I think , finally finished around 10.
The ultrasound they sent mestraight to mammogram and then
they scheduled me for a biopsythe same day.
Chrystal (05:06):
What- the actual heck .
I feel like this doesn't everhappen, right?
People wait weeks for this kindof thing.
Ash (05:12):
It did happen really fast.
Everything happened very, veryfast.
So I saw the GP went to get theultrasound, ultrasound turned
into mammogram and then thebiopsy was, I think about like
three hours later.
Chrystal (05:26):
Wow, a lot of women feel a lump and they don't know
what it is for months because,of the process.
Rose Oates (05:32):
Yep.
Chrystal (05:33):
Somebody was looking out for you that day.
Yes, yes.
Rose Oates (05:35):
Wow 100%.
Ash (05:36):
So everything happened and I got my results in two days.
Chrystal (05:40):
But also, you didn't have time to process, right?
You just felt a lump.
Then you're there, then you'rehaving a biopsy.
It's like you can't it happenedall in three days?
Rose Oates (05:47):
Oh God, yes.
Ash (05:54):
Basically, you didn't from lump.
Three days later you find outyou have breast cancer.
Yeah, oh my God, it was insane.
So that day I had all theappointments, one of like the
scans, one after another.
I got home and then I wastalking to my mum and dad on
FaceTime and my mum was like,nah, that's it, we're just
coming.
So my parents, my sister, mybrother-in-law and my cousin
flew over the next morning.
They were there the nextmorning, which was good.
(06:16):
So that was, I had all thescans on the Wednesday, on
Thursday morning.
They flew in Friday.
We got the, so you weren'talone.
Chrystal (06:28):
So when they came, they didn't know you had breast
cancer yet.
No, oh shit, and they flew justin case.
Do you think they thought itwas?
Ash (06:36):
So what my dad said was I need a holiday anyway.
No, my cousin said that she waslike I need a holiday anyway.
So if it's not, we'll just godo stuff.
Chrystal (06:45):
Oh OK.
Ash (06:45):
If it's not, it's a holiday.
If it is, we're there for you.
Oh my gosh, that's beautiful.
Yeah, so we did that.
And then on Friday, did you goin for your diagnosis?
I did.
There was a little kerfuffle.
That happened there and when Ilook back on it it now I'm like
God damn it.
I should have sued the place.
But what happened?
Was I called?
(07:06):
So my appointment was meant tobe for, I think, 2pm.
I called at 12pm to find out ifmy results were in yet, and what
happened was the SKG hadmisspelt my surname, which is a
common mistake, that can happenbut they misspelt my.
They had the correct surnamefor my surname, which is a
common mistake, that can happenbut they misspelled my.
They had the correct surnamefor my ultrasound, but they
(07:28):
misspelled my biopsy.
So when the results got sent tothe GP clinic, my biopsy wasn't
put into my file because thename was spelled wrong.
So the nurse practitioner whowas there clicked open on my
file, saw the ultrasound resultsand said oh, everything's fine
because you can't really seeanything from the ultrasound.
And so I was like well, thereis a lump, I need to know if I
(07:50):
need to take it out.
Blah, blah, blah.
And she was like well, if youwant to come in at two o'clock,
you can.
It's entirely up to you.
I was like, yeah, no, I'llstill go, imagine if you didn't.
I went, my sister came with meand we sat there and so you're a
little bit relieved at thispoint in some ways.
Yeah, because I was like that's, you know, it's not cancer, I'm
fine, we just got to work outwhat it is.
Yes.
So we sat there and I lookedand the GP looked at me and she
(08:14):
said Ash, I don't have yourresults yet.
And I'm like well, what do youmean?
Because your nurse practitionersaid everything was fine and
she's like what does she mean?
I was like I don't know.
So anyway, on the spot shecalls the place up and works out
that my name was spelled wrong.
So she said the biopsy's in,I'm going to open it now Opened
it.
She looked at it, looked at meand said I'm so sorry, it's
stage two breast cancer.
Chrystal (08:37):
And I just sat there and I was like could you say
anything?
Did you go numb?
Ash (08:45):
What was your reaction?
I think like everything in mejust died and then I fell into
my sister's arms.
That's as much as I rememberfrom being in the room with the
doctor.
Everything went numb, it died,and then I fell into my sister's
arms and I was crying and mybrother-in-law, who was in the
room as well, was franticallysearching which oncologist and
(09:07):
breast surgeon to get a referralfor.
Rose Oates (09:09):
So they were sort of like managing the situation for
you to start the proceed, likeget everything moving, yeah.
Ash (09:16):
So we got we got the oncologist and breast surgeon
referral and we went home.
It was a Friday afternoon.
We went home.
I spent pretty much the entireday and night after that on the
kitchen floor, the bathroomfloor, and I was in tears
because I was like what do I do?
Age?
Chrystal (09:33):
30, that's so young to be given that kind of
diagnosis, and that's exactlywhat I was thinking.
Ash (09:38):
I was like this is not possible.
I'm 30.
Like who gets breast cancer at30, man, come on, yeah, that's
really young, and that's alreadyat stage two.
Yeah, it was at stage twoalready and I was like this no
words.
But the good thing is,everything moved.
I don't know if there's a goodthing about cancer, but what I'm
grateful for is that everythingmoved really quick.
(10:00):
So I got an appointment with mybreast surgeon for Monday
morning.
Chrystal (10:05):
And you got the diagnosis on Friday.
Yeah Wow, you were lucky man.
Everything just was.
Ash (10:10):
Everything moved so quickly for me.
So I went in, saw my breastsurgeon.
She's a bloody brilliant woman.
She looked at me.
She explained everythingbecause all I knew was that it
was stage two breast cancer.
At that point I had no likethey didn't tell me any
specifics, nothing.
She, my breast surgeon,explained the whole thing to me.
(10:33):
Okay, she drew little boobies,she put little signs, she drew
arrows, told me exactly what itwould look like, taught me
through what we could do.
What were your options?
So my options were we weregoing to do a lumpectomy, okay.
And the other option was sobefore the lumpectomy, I needed
(10:54):
to do sorry, no, raise that, itwas a lumpectomy.
That was the first option.
Chrystal (11:00):
So that's just pretty much removing the cancer as
well.
Yes, the actual lump.
Ash (11:05):
So after the lumpectomy, which was scheduled for three
weeks from the first time I sawher, I had the lumpectomy, it
went off to get checked andeverything and what they found
out was they managed to removethe entire thing.
However, there were markers inmy lymph nodes.
(11:27):
It was the tiniest one, it waslike 0.03 or 0.05, something
like that.
And when we went to see myoncologist she was like look,
four rounds of chemotherapy willjust kill it all.
Whatever's there, whatever'sleft, will just die.
(11:47):
At that point I think the firstthing I thought about was I
don't want to do chemotherapybecause you hear about all the
horror stories.
You hear about the horrorstories you hear about losing
your hair, you hear about beingso sick from it.
And I told my mom I was like Ican't do this.
I don't have it in me to putmyself through that.
Chrystal (12:06):
But the option is right If you don't do
chemotherapy what happens?
Like do you, can you die?
Ash (12:12):
like what I would.
I wouldn't be able to tell youif I was gonna die, because they
did take it out.
Yeah, but, yeah, but there wasstill that mark over there which
that could then spread rightcorrect so especially when it's
in your lymph nodes yesthat more of a yes, yeah, it is,
it is absolutely and it spreadsquicker as well once it's in
your lymph nodes.
(12:32):
So we did four rounds ofchemotherapy, which I started, I
think, a week and a half, twoweeks later.
So what made you decide to?
Do, chemo then I think at thatpoint it was just I got to do it
.
I got, I have no choice.
I've got to do this to keepmyself alive and I was not ready
to die yet.
Rose Oates (12:52):
Is there any counselling or anything they
give you in preparation for anyof this?
Or during it, I can't speak forthe public system.
Ash (13:02):
So I did all my treatment and surgeries and everything in
private.
And there is a centre, so I didit at the Cancer Comprehensive
Centre in Subi and there is aspace attached to the centre
where you can go and they giveyou counselling.
There's like Reiki healing,there's yoga, there's all these
(13:26):
things.
There's also I'm trying toremember the name of the
programme Look Better, FeelBetter.
I think it might be where theyteach you how to do your
eyebrows, how to do your makeup,how to style your little turban
thing for your head and allthose stuff.
That's actually really cool.
Yeah, they do a lot and theyteach you a lot.
(13:46):
The only part about that isthat I didn't access it because,
being the stubborn human beingI was, I decided that I was
still going to work full time.
Chrystal (13:59):
While going through chemo.
Rose Oates (14:00):
Yeah, and did you.
How did that work out for you,ash, I did, oh my God.
Ash (14:06):
You animal.
I did so.
I took four days afterchemotherapy off.
I had chemo on a Thursday everythree off.
I had chemo on a Thursday everythree weeks.
I had chemo on a Thursday.
I'd take Friday and Monday offand then I'd be back in school.
Rose Oates (14:20):
And you were working with special needs teacher full
time.
Correct, you are amazing.
Ash (14:29):
So what I told myself was that, like there are so many
other people who do it, and Iwas like, if other people can do
it, I can do it as well.
Chrystal (14:38):
Did you get like?
Ash (14:38):
vomiting and stuff, though I was very nauseous but I never
threw up.
The bone aches are crazy.
So 24 hours after you have yourchemotherapy round, 24 hours
after you have your chemotherapyround, you get given this
injection that is supposed totrigger white blood cell counts
and supposedly also gives youswollen bones.
(15:02):
I never knew bones could beswollen.
Chrystal (15:04):
I still don't know if that's a thing I didn't know.
Bones could be swollen.
Ash (15:06):
I didn't know, but my body .
I could not sit, I could notlie down, I could not stand.
I could not lie down, I couldnot stand.
I couldn't do anything Likewalking to the front door in my
two bedroom apartment was takingmy breath away.
Chrystal (15:20):
Whoa, because it was so painful, your bones were just
aching yeah.
Ash (15:24):
I could feel every single spring on my mattress.
Rose Oates (15:28):
Wow, I swear I could feel it all.
Ash (15:31):
And then I decided, no, I'm chucking this mattress out.
I bought myself an Ecosamattress.
There you go, guys.
Rose Oates (15:41):
Is it good?
Yes, so if anyone's listeningand want to know what those
online mattresses are like, Ashhas the goods.
Ash (15:48):
I was like that's it, this mattress is going to the bin
and I bought myself an Ecosamattress and it was the best
thing I did for myself.
Yeah, the best 700, andwhatever dollars I spent that
week.
Ecosa, if you want to sponsorus, yes, ecosa, I do need
another king size mattress.
Thank you very much.
Rose Oates (16:06):
Moving forward from that.
Did you actually lose your hair?
I know the answer to this, butI would love you to talk us
through the process, becauseit's not an easy thing Like
women, we love our hair.
Crystal owns a salon thatspecializes in hair extensions.
Another plug there, guys.
Chrystal (16:26):
But we actually on a day to day see a lot of women
that are either going throughchemo, have gone through chemo,
have hair thinning, have losttheir hair.
Rose Oates (16:37):
Have lost their hair yeah, it's very Such an
identity, correct, like so tiedto our identity.
Chrystal (16:43):
Even myself.
Rose Oates (16:44):
Yeah, like cutting my hair off.
You know how I felt about it.
I needed to cut it off, like Ihad a Britney moment and then I
needed it back to feel likemyself.
So can you tell us about it?
Ash (16:54):
So I did what they call cold capping and that was in
hopes of preserving my hair andlessening the process of falling
, of losing my hair.
Basically, cold capping isexactly what its name is.
They put this cap on your head.
It is so tight and it is socold.
Chrystal (17:16):
It's like a freezer in your head.
It's like an ice bath on yourhead, yeah correct.
Ash (17:20):
Yeah, and it's hooked up to a device that's about that
big and if you do co-cappingyou've got to sit there two
hours before and two hours afteryour chemo infusion, because it
needs to start two hours beforeand then your chemo goes in and
your cells are still likefrozen, basically for two hours
after.
It gives you the worst headachein the world.
(17:42):
It is so painful.
I did it the first time andthen I said screw this.
Chrystal (17:49):
Yeah, I couldn't.
Ash (17:51):
So it was supposed to lessen the hair fall, so I did
it.
Chemo number one Exactly 10days after chemo number one, my
hair was starting to fall.
Rose Oates (18:01):
When you say it was falling.
How is it coming out Like whenyou?
Ash (18:06):
brush.
So if you don't brush your hair?
Okay, okay, because that will.
That will make it come out more.
That's so.
Even if I were to just like runmy fingers through, I'd have a
clump in my hand.
It's clumpy, yeah.
So it was falling out in clumpsand I was like, okay, I wasn't
(18:26):
ready to shave my hair just yet,yeah and that.
So I think it was the 10th dayat night I was.
I was seeing a guy at thatpoint and he shaved my hair.
Chrystal (18:39):
Just a guy that you just started seeing.
You were like hey, shave myhead.
You asked him to shave yourhead.
Well, we.
Ash (18:43):
I was really.
I was really self-consciousabout my hair falling and so I
didn't take off.
I had a beanie on and I didn'twant to take my beanie off
because I knew there would behair inside.
And he was like why did I justshave it for you?
Chrystal (18:57):
And I was like oh my God, that is like a lot for a
new guy to take on thatresponsibility.
Rose Oates (19:02):
How long were you seeing this guy?
Ash (19:05):
I was seeing him for about approximately five six months
Before or during During JustApproximately five six months
Before or during During.
Just when, when you found out.
Just when I was diagnosed.
I was actually talking to him.
I met him on Bumble.
I was talking to him justbefore I got diagnosed and we
were supposed to meet up and Isaid, look, I'm really sorry
(19:26):
this has happened.
Why did I say sorry?
Rose Oates (19:29):
Yeah, I agree, I was like you don't need to be sorry
.
No, I agree, I was like youdon't need to be sorry.
Ash (19:33):
No, I didn't need to be sorry.
But like at that point, yeah,exactly.
And after my surgery he startedmessaging me again and was like
you know, I really want to seeyou.
Can we please go out?
Blah, blah, blah.
And so we did, and he's juststuck around.
Chrystal (19:50):
Wait a minute.
We need to just go back alittle tiny bit, because I
remember this part of the story.
Ash (19:55):
Yeah.
Chrystal (19:55):
Where you were dating a douchey.
Rose Oates (19:59):
Is this the douchey?
Is this the douchey?
Ash (20:01):
This is said douchey.
Oh, this is juicy Ash.
This is said narcissistic,asshole.
Chrystal (20:10):
So hold on a minute.
So this was your previousrelationship yeah.
Tell me the story.
Ash (20:18):
So he stuck around, which, when you think about it, you're
like why you stuck around atthe hardest part of my life, but
he chose it too.
Rose Oates (20:28):
Yes, like he knew exactly what he was getting into
.
Ash (20:29):
Yeah, he knew exactly what he was getting into and then,
as soon as I finished activetreatment, he left.
Rose Oates (20:36):
Okay, before we get on with this story, because me
and you have talked about this Ithink it's so important that
Ash talks about this, because somany people assume that when
you're going through cancer orsomething traumatic, that you've
got such a supportive network,you've got such a supportive
husband or partner, and no onereally talks about what if you
(21:00):
don't Like, a lot of your familyand friends were in Malaysia.
Yep, you had a small networkhere in Perth, is that correct?
And you're going out with anarcissist, ash, please,
continue.
Ash (21:11):
Tell us To be fair, I didn't know he was a narcissist
at that point.
The good part with me is thatmy mom came over and spent three
months with me.
So the plan was that she wouldspend the entire three months
and then my dad, my sister, mybrother-in-law, my cousins, were
all flying in and out fromMalaysia.
Okay, amazing, yeah.
(21:32):
So they were all in and outlike every three weeks, yep, so
that there would always besomeone to support mum with what
she had.
Chrystal (21:43):
Because she was my main carer.
That's a lot in itself.
That is a lot, and you'reactually extremely lucky to have
them because, I know manypeople that I don't even know if
somebody in my life would evenfly for me.
But that's why it's soimportant.
Rose Oates (21:56):
Like not everyone's got the like you had to have
that family network doing all ofthat Correct.
But then having a newishrelationship with someone that
maybe didn't have the rightintentions or it was very it's a
real please.
Ash (22:10):
It was.
It was very interesting becausethere was a point where most of
my close friends had met him,and I don't think any of my
close friends liked him, werethey like Ash Red Flag?
Yes, oh God.
Rose Oates (22:25):
But do you know?
Ash (22:26):
there's actually a but did I see the Red Flag no.
Rose Oates (22:28):
No, no one, we don't .
I was too busy.
Ash (22:32):
I was like I'm fighting for my life.
Chrystal (22:33):
There's actually people out there, though, that
they attach themselves to peoplewho have illnesses Correct, and
it's like I don't know what thename of it is Like a God
complex.
Rose Oates (22:42):
I want to save them.
Chrystal (22:48):
Yes, no, it's not even about saving, it's the
attention that they somethingPoor me almost yeah it's
actually a thing Like there'sactually parents that have got
it from their child.
Ash (22:57):
Yeah.
Chrystal (22:58):
Like.
Ash (23:00):
So that was that.
It was when everything ended.
It was heartbreaking and I wasseverely broken.
But now, when I look back at it, I just tell myself, like look,
it was a bullet, a massivebullet that I dodged.
This guy was a massivenarcissist, and I'm, he was, you
(23:21):
know.
He was there for the fourmonths, five months that he
served his purpose and it wasdone, yeah.
Chrystal (23:29):
Was he supportive during that time or like was he
causing you more anguish than hewas doing anything good?
Ash (23:36):
Look, I've got to say throughout the time it was fine,
he really served his purpose.
Yeah, he kept me happy andthat's it.
But as soon as active treatmentended, he was out, which for me
was like why would you staythrough the most crucial part
and then go?
And it was.
I was broken.
(23:58):
I was so, so broken that thefirst thing I could do is take
an Uber up to my friend's placein Kalamanda.
That the first thing I could dowas take an Uber up to my
friend's place in Kalamunda andher and her husband gave me one
and a half sleeping pills thatput me to sleep for 17 hours.
Wow, you needed it.
It was the best 17 hours of mylife.
Rose Oates (24:15):
Yeah, I slept.
It was like almost you neededto sleep off everything for a
bit.
Yeah, like your mind and yourbody were exhausted.
Ash (24:25):
Yeah 100%.
Chrystal (24:25):
I'd like a 17-hour sleep right now.
Thank you.
Rose Oates (24:28):
I'd like a five-hour uninterrupted sleep.
I am so uncomfortable in myneck and my back.
I feel bad, complaining.
Ash (24:37):
It's okay, tell me.
Oh, my God, you're pain.
Rose Oates (24:40):
But it's just wild, the whole story.
I mean, we're so lucky andhappy that you are here now, six
years on.
But back to early detection,which is what you really
advocate for and what we had hada discussion about as well.
So not that long ago, I had alump I go to touch it
(25:04):
immediately in my right breast,which actually I'm going to
laugh, though turned out to bemastitis.
I haven't breastfed for twoyears, guys, just letting you
know that it can fucking happen.
But I shared that online andjust really because I do the
bathroom chats and I'll be in mybras and undies and I felt it
(25:26):
that night, so I just brought itup.
I said, oh, I've got to get itchecked, blah, blah, blah.
And the amount of feedback tosay don't worry about it, it's
normal to have lumps in yourboob.
Oh, it's probably nothing.
If I probably would havelistened to that, I may not have
done anything about it andProbably would have listened to
that.
Yeah, I may not have doneanything about it.
(25:47):
Yeah, and to be honest with you, I can be quite lazy when it
comes to my health.
Yeah, don't judge me, but forme obviously, like being
mastitis, I started having arash.
Chrystal (25:54):
Yeah.
Rose Oates (25:55):
So no pain at the time, but the rash and I was
like, oh God, that's anothersign.
Chrystal (25:59):
Yeah, I'm nearly 40.
Rose Oates (26:00):
I'm nearly 40.
I'm 39 years old, haven'tbreastfed for two years.
That was my second red flag.
I did go to the doctorstraightaway.
I had an ultrasound, turned outto be obviously nothing
sinister, but your mind does goto the gutter, especially as you
get older.
Correct, and it was reallysurprising to me and why I think
it's so important to talk aboutearly detection and to just, if
(26:21):
in doubt, check it out.
Yeah, because so many peopleare like don't worry about it.
Ash (26:25):
Yeah, I'm like worry about it, girls, worry about it.
Rose Oates (26:28):
Worry about it you also told me a story that you
shared a lot of your journeyalong the way through different
social platforms and et cetera,and was it your friend?
Ash (26:39):
Yeah, so it was my schoolmate, who coincidentally
lives just so my parents live inan apartment block and she was
on the ground floor, yeah, andshe sent me a message and said
oh you know, thanks for sharingyour story.
I've had these lumps in mybreast and I'm just going to go
(26:59):
get it checked out, but she wasbreastfeeding, so in my head
even I was like, oh, it'sprobably mastitis, it's probably
mastitis yeah probably likeclogged ducts, which which is
what she thought it was as welldo not tell me it was?
it was breast cancer, yeah, andwhat stage was it?
It was, I believe, either stageone or zero, so she didn't need
(27:20):
chemotherapy.
She had a mastectomy I on bothsides, or maybe one side, and
she's on estrogen treatment nowOkay, so are you on any
treatments?
I am, so I take because thecancer was estrogen positive,
which means it was triggered byall the estrogen in my body.
I am on what they calltamoxifen, so I used to be on an
(27:44):
estrozole and Zolidex.
Zolidex is a monthly injectionto sort of preserve your ovaries
and stop the activity, but theZolidex needle is like it's a
dinosaur.
Rose Oates (28:02):
The way you're doing it.
It looks like as thick as astraw?
Ash (28:04):
No, it's a massive needle.
So what does that do?
Rose Oates (28:08):
Suppress your estrogen a bit.
Ash (28:10):
It suppresses your ovaries .
So the anestrosol suppressesyour estrogen production from
everywhere else in your body,okay, and the Zolidex suppresses
the ovaries.
Chrystal (28:20):
So that makes you not be able to fall pregnant?
Correct, okay, yeah.
Rose Oates (28:23):
Okay, yeah, okay.
So what if you want to becomepregnant?
Like, do you want to have a?
Ash (28:28):
family.
I do.
I do so fast forward all theseyears.
I met the most amazing man.
We do want to hear about him,yes, so.
Rose Oates (28:40):
Who was too short for you?
Apparently Ash.
And by the way, if you can'tsee, Ash, she's not exactly a
tall woman.
No, I'm like 4'9".
Oh shit, so realistically, anyman would be taller than you.
But continue, Tell us aboutyour amazing partner.
Ash (29:00):
So we met on Hinge.
It was really funny, but I hadto go in for a septoplasty and
sinus surgery because my sinuseswere so fucked.
And then I was in the hospitaland because it was COVID you
couldn't have any visitors.
And so I was like, oh, screw it, I'm going to like download
Hinge.
Okay, at that point she washospital boredom.
(29:23):
At that point I was off menbecause I was like, screw y'all.
So I downloaded Hinge and um,and then I got a message from
this guy and I was like, oh yeah, I was also very, very high on
like and I started messaging him.
And then I just didn't thinkanything of it.
And I started messaging him andthen I just didn't think
(29:43):
anything of it.
And the next day he texted meagain.
And then a week later we werestill texting and he was on site
because he's a FIFO person, andI thought, nah, like, I bet you
, this guy isn't real.
So I actually suggested that wehad a FaceTime call because I
(30:11):
needed to know that he wasn't arobot.
The ash wasn't there.
I FaceTimed with him.
I don't have you ever had aseptoplasty surgery before?
Chrystal (30:17):
for your sinus no.
Ash (30:19):
I need to have it done, but so you get like you've got
this like bandage on your noseand you suggested a FaceTime and
it's like attached to your faceand there's like blood coming
out and you FaceTimed him thatday.
Rose Oates (30:33):
Were you still high?
No, I wasn't.
You were sane.
Ash (30:37):
I was.
I was very sane.
But then he answered the phoneand I was like oh great, you're
not a robot.
Did he ask what the hell washappening to your face?
He knew that I had this surgery, but then after that, and he
was having an extended swing,which is why everything was like
(30:58):
.
I was like, oh, would you liketo go off coffee?
And he's like, oh, I'm havingan extended swing.
Chrystal (31:02):
And you're like sure you are.
This guy is a robot.
Ash (31:07):
But then after that we started talking more and my
friends laugh.
They crack up at this and wetalked about it on the weekend
as well.
But after you have aseptoplasty surgery, you have to
rinse your sinuses every fourhours and the gunk that comes
out of your nose it's like Idon't even know.
Chrystal (31:30):
Maybe don't discuss it.
I've got a week coming.
Ash (31:33):
Well, I took a photo and sent it to him.
What?
Rose Oates (31:37):
What happened.
I would gag.
You know what, though?
At this point, ash is like I'vebeen through the worst I could
ever be.
Yes, exactly If, at this point,ash is like I've been through
the worst I could ever be Like,if this guy can't handle me,
then I.
Ash (31:47):
You know what's the worst that could happen.
I sent him a photo and I waslike, hey, look, what should I
name this guy?
Rose Oates (31:54):
Oh my God, I sent him a photo of a booger,
basically.
Ash (31:58):
Yeah, it wasn't just a booger, it was disgusting.
I've got a weak stomach, Allright.
Well, I'll stop there.
So anyway, this is when I waslike all right, this guy is
actually quite funny because hehasn't stopped talking to me,
right.
Chrystal (32:15):
Were you trying to push him away?
If somebody sent me their snot,I would run for the hills.
Rose Oates (32:19):
It's like the first week and the first time you ever
see this woman.
She's wearing a nose plasteraround her ears and the thing is
as well like Ash told me aswell while we were just sitting
at the salon like you had evenput on your profile.
Ash (32:34):
Yeah, it was on my profile that I was a breast cancer
survivor.
Rose Oates (32:38):
Because she didn't want to make things awkward.
Chrystal (32:39):
Yeah, because that's another thing you don't think of
you didn't want to bring it upto people.
Ash (32:42):
Yeah, and it was one of my really good friends at work
because I was talking to her andI was like you know, kaz, what
am I supposed to do Like when?
At what point do I bring it upwith a person, like at the first
date, at the fourth date?
Rose Oates (32:54):
Yeah, and she was like well, just, put it on your
profile yeah, just get it outthere, really like it's just
freeing, isn't it?
Yeah was there a photo of?
Ash (33:03):
you bald on daily mail.
Yes, daily mail did a like awhole thing, daily mail.
Rose Oates (33:09):
Well, I also want to share a photo of ash bald.
She's actually the cutest eggyou've ever seen.
Ash (33:15):
Oh, my god, I had such a egg head it was so smooth yes,
it was.
Yeah, yeah, it was insane,because everything falls off,
even the tiniest bit.
Chrystal (33:22):
Yeah you lose your eyebrows and your eyelashes yes,
you do.
Ash (33:26):
Oh my god, I was trying to hold on to my eyelashes and
then when the last one fell, Iwas like I'm gonna fucking make
a wish on that.
Um, so my eyebrows.
I lost most of it, but the bestadvice that I got that I would
like that I pass on to anyonewho speaks to me who has gone
through breast cancer or isgoing through chemotherapy is go
(33:49):
get your eyebrows tattooedBefore they come out, because
then they've got the shapeQuestion I'm asking for a friend
Does your chin hair and liphair fall out?
Everything Fuck, even your chin,oh yes.
Chrystal (34:02):
Even your chin, Everything.
She was naked.
I mean no your gin, everything.
Rose Oates (34:04):
She was naked.
I mean no, I can't say oh, youwere bald, you were.
Chrystal (34:09):
I was like proper bald.
Yeah, because like you shaveand you miss parts she was
actually like a dolphin, correct?
Rose Oates (34:15):
Silky, I mean that was like not perks of the head,
but yeah.
Yeah, everything and regrowthwas very interesting because
even now, like are you justfluffy and soft, how does it
grow?
Chrystal (34:30):
back.
Does it go back, not in like,does it grow back fully in
patches?
How does it work patches?
Ash (34:35):
like, and even that, like my leg hair doesn't grow for
about a good three, four months.
Rose Oates (34:42):
I don't want to talk to you right now.
Yeah, I'm really sorry.
No, that's fine, I would never.
I would never.
But with your hair, though,hair is different for everyone,
so we know somebody that whenher hair came back, it was so
curly and wild.
Yes, and almost a differentcolour.
Yeah, some people come backgrey.
Ash (34:59):
Yeah, and yourself.
Rose Oates (35:00):
How have you found it?
Ash (35:01):
So mine grew back wavy.
Rose Oates (35:06):
But very, very thin, so it's not regained its
thickness.
Ash (35:11):
No, definitely lost all volume, like I used to have
proper brown person thick hair.
Rose Oates (35:17):
Yep Brown person thick hair.
I do know what you mean.
I'm going to bring up something, though.
Chrystal (35:23):
So if anyone's ever had hair extensions you would
know that extensions do have theability to have some shedding
and I remember the first timeAsh ever got extensions it
actually triggered some of heremotion from losing hair because
of the hair extensions.
Obviously you notice it morewhen you've got extensions, like
if they shed a bit, like younotice it and it was triggering
(35:43):
like emotion to you, it was, itwas, it was, and then I remember
you being like Crystal, likeit's actually triggering me,
it's upsetting me and I was likewhat?
Ash (35:50):
can I do?
I was like I need more.
What do you?
Rose Oates (35:51):
want me to do Like.
I love that you brought that up.
Ash (35:54):
Yeah.
Rose Oates (35:59):
I forgot about that.
People think about okay, she'smarried, it's done.
Yes, guys.
Ash (36:04):
I got married to that amazing man.
She got married to thatnot-so-tall.
Rose Oates (36:07):
Is he a bald man?
Yes, hey there, but no onetalks about after cancer.
No, like you, don't hear asmuch, especially someone that
hasn't.
We haven't been through it,luckily, or anything like that.
I don't know someone superclose but in the sense of like I
didn't know you had to be ontreatment that does all of that
(36:30):
and even the hair loss thingsthat are triggering you.
Are you still scared sometimesof it coming back Every day?
Ash (36:37):
Every day.
It's something that you learnto live with the fear.
It's something that you learnto live with the fear, but, at
the same time, how I got myselfthrough it was that it's always
going to be at the back of mymind.
I'm always going to be, becausethere's always the chance of it
reoccurring.
Rose Oates (36:58):
Yes.
Ash (37:00):
But I can't stop living life because of that fear.
Yeah, I love that and that'swhat keeps me going every day is
that I've you know, there are alot of people that have not
been able to go on, and that's awhole other thing, because and
I never used to like obviouslyyou don't know about this
(37:22):
because you don't have cancerbut whenever I heard about
people like I lost two of myuncles to cancer after I got
diagnosed, and then I heardabout people like that, I knew
who was passing from cancer andI started feeling very guilty.
Chrystal (37:41):
Surviving, yeah, and I never knew that survivor's
guilt was a thing, but I startedfeeling very guilty.
Ash (37:43):
Survivor's guilt, yeah, and I never knew that survivor's
guilt was a thing.
But I started feeling reallyguilty because I'm like, well,
they fought as hard as I did,but why did they have to die?
Yeah.
But then you start living withall of that and you start going
well, it was their time, so thatwas that.
And you just remind yourselfthat you've had that second
(38:07):
chance and you, you don't wasteit.
Yeah, you bloody, live it.
Rose Oates (38:10):
You live differently now that you've had that brush
with death.
Like you see the worlddifferently.
Chrystal (38:16):
Yes, I remember you talking about something, though,
that actually made me want tocry yeah, and it was that after
your diagnosis, you went througha time where you're thinking I
can't.
Ash (38:28):
I can't do this.
I will pinpoint it straightdown to.
It was right after my secondchemotherapy and I was sitting
on my couch and right outside myapartment was the City West
train station and my mom hadgone out because I sent her out
with my auntie just to take abreath.
(38:49):
And I remember sitting thereand I thought if I just walked
through the tracks and got hit,that would be easier for
everyone and I wouldn't have todo.
I wouldn't have to dochemotherapy anymore because
chemotherapy is the single mostbrutal thing I have ever done in
my life.
It is painful, it is tiring, ittakes so much of your.
(39:15):
It takes so much in you to justto just move, to like move one
finger, um, and yeah, after thesecond one I was, you know, even
though I kept telling myself Iwas like you know, I'm already
at the halfway point, there'sjust two more to go, let's do
(39:36):
this.
But there was still that bit inme that was like I can't do
this anymore.
Done, yeah.
Chrystal (39:40):
I felt like you were done.
You felt like you were done.
Ash (39:41):
Yeah, truly felt like I was done, but then I think what
really got me like sort of pastthat, or just made me push
myself even more, was the factthat, you know, I had my family
around.
I had my cousins and my sisterand my brother-in-law, my dad,
like flying in and out.
The second I got diagnosed, mysister started a group chat with
(40:06):
all my cousins and they had atimetable Excel spreadsheet with
who was coming in.
Like who was going to come in?
I think it was through.
Was it through this?
Just after the first chemo, myyounger cousin, brother, flew in
and he was like I don't knowhow I can help you, but I'm here
.
I'm here and just tell me whatyou want me to do.
(40:30):
So he was driving me to andfrom school every day.
He was driving me to and fromschool and, like I lived in City
West and I worked in Armadaleat that point, oh my.
Rose Oates (40:39):
God.
So it's just the little things.
Ash (40:40):
Yeah, it's the little things.
Rose Oates (40:43):
And so like, with friends and family and even
friends that you had in Perthalready.
What is some advice that youwould feel like you know you
would like to give people thatare helping or supporting
somebody with cancer or goingthrough something that you went
through, because I thinksometimes we feel weird.
Chrystal (41:01):
Like what do we do?
Rose Oates (41:02):
How do we help?
How do we speak to them?
What do we say?
Ash (41:06):
Don't treat people like they're broken, because they're
not.
They're not broken, so don'tyou know?
Don't be like I'm so sorry,like we don't need your sympathy
.
Just be normal with me, benormal, be as normal as possible
.
But it's the small things thatcount, like I had my friends
(41:27):
calling me and just asking me ona weekend, like do you want to
go out for coffee?
Like let me just take you out.
I had a friend that I hadn'tspoken to in so long who
messaged me and was like how canI help my mom's over?
Do you want me to cook somefood?
And I was like no, you know,don't worry about it Like my
(41:49):
mom's here.
And she actually cooked I thinkit was maybe three dishes, and
just dropped it off at the house, maybe not asking and just
doing.
Yeah, just do it.
And it's a lot also for theperson who's caring for the sick
person, because it was a lotfor my mum.
(42:09):
So with the place in the CancerComprehensive Centre that
offers all the support it alsoextends to the family members
that are caring for them, and somum was going in for
counselling.
Oh, that's so good yeah mumwent in for, I think, three
sessions of counselling, andthat was good for her, because
she needed to talk to someone.
Chrystal (42:29):
Yeah.
Ash (42:30):
Because I cannot imagine having to support your daughter
through something like that.
Oh yeah, that just gives meyeah, the two of you are mums.
I have no idea how that wouldfeel.
Chrystal (42:42):
I think you'd prefer, it was you, the fear of losing
a child anyways, regardless butobviously cancer as well.
It's traumatising andheartbreaking.
Rose Oates (42:53):
I love that there's those services out there that
you've said that there's heapsCancer Council offers so much
that's so good to know yeah.
Chrystal (43:00):
So I had a question before and I sorry I didn't ask,
but you mentioned that you wentthrough everything privately.
Yeah, If you went through thesystem publicly, is the wait
time like humongous for it anddo you get seen Like do you just
die from cancer because youdon't get seen, Like what, what
is that?
Or you don't really know, Idon't actually know.
Ash (43:21):
To be honest, I wouldn't be able to tell you, but what I
found was that, sitting at aprivate clinic, like at a
private at the Ivy Suite at theCancer Comprehensive Centre, I
remember looking around andthere were no young people
around me.
Everyone was old, everyone wasolder, and I sat there thinking
what the hell, man, how did Iget this so early?
(43:43):
And there's no one else aroundme?
So I actually asked one of thenurses there and, bless her, she
had a really good conversationwith me and she actually told me
, ash, the reason why you don'tsee that many is that because
most people your age don't havesuch extensive cover that covers
like cancer treatments andeverything People probably can't
(44:05):
afford it.
Correct.
And so there you would.
Rose Oates (44:08):
you know, it's not that you're the only person who
at this age, but they're notgoing through private they're
not going through private A lotof younger people would be going
through the public system noteven thinking, Because when I
was from maybe 20 to 30, myinsurance probably wasn't that
high yeah you just get the twinshare because, like me and Craig
were together and we justplotted along yeah and then yeah
(44:31):
.
Chrystal (44:31):
But we have this same issue with like.
We spoke about this on a recentpodcast about like psychology
sessions being so expensive.
It's the same thing with likethis kind of thing, like when
you're needing treatment.
Correct the actual financialamount you may not be able to
cover.
Ash (44:47):
Yeah, the only reason why I have always had an excess
cover, like an extra cover, isbecause I started in Australia
as an international student andwhen I registered with Medibank
you have to have a certainamount of cover, blah, blah blah
.
And throughout my life inMalaysia I've always had health
(45:08):
insurance, private health care.
That is something that's reallybig for my dad.
You have to have private healthcare.
So when I sent him the littlelist when I moved over from
being on a student visa to apermanent resident visa, I was
like which one am I going for?
Rose Oates (45:24):
And he picked so I had nothing to do.
That's lucky, right yeah?
Ash (45:27):
So dad had picked what I was going to take and I'm lucky
I'm lucky that you knoweverything fell into place in
that sense.
Chrystal (45:35):
Because I do wonder, like what is the wait time, if
you were to go public, yeah, thepublic system, yeah the public
system.
Rose Oates (45:41):
Yeah, I don't think that.
Obviously, if it was serious,they're going to, you know, let
anything happen to anyone.
Chrystal (45:46):
I just saw my mum's friend during COVID time.
She actually died from bowelcancer because they weren't
doing any surgeries or shecouldn't do any testing Like
there was, just it got delayed,delayed, delayed, and then the
next minute she passed away andit was, I know, during COVID
time.
But I always think now aboutwhat?
About people who can't affordthese kind of services?
Rose Oates (46:07):
Yeah, I often think about just people not getting
things checked.
Like it doesn't matter whatcancer, what you know.
Ash (46:16):
Whatever it is.
Rose Oates (46:17):
Legal.
It is Like, if you're not sure,if in doubt, check it out.
And I think like, even havingbeen, after I had Esme, I ended
up with an infection that Inearly went septic.
That's another day, anotherstory for another day.
But I got told oh yeah, noworries, you can go to your trip
in Kalbarri, and I reckon Inearly nearly had to be
(46:40):
airlifted back to Perth.
So it's, and I had been pushingfor weeks and weeks with the
doctor.
Chrystal (46:47):
You knew something was wrong.
Rose Oates (46:48):
I went to three different doctors who were
saying you're just stressed youknow, not feeling well because
you're a new mum and there'sjust things like that.
Like, if you've got a gutfeeling that something's not
right, check it out.
If you aren't happy with what adoctor's saying, you can go for
a second opinion, even ifyou're young.
Listen to what Ash is sayinghere.
(47:09):
Excuse me, that is all good.
Ash (47:11):
Push.
It's your body, so you knowthat something's not right.
Yeah and push for.
Chrystal (47:17):
you need to advocate for your own self, but I feel
like, as a woman anyways, anykind of lump, like I understand
that a lot of us have, like youknow, lumpy breasts.
What did they tell me that Ihad like fatty?
Rose Oates (47:28):
juicy breasts.
Chrystal (47:30):
I had a lump and I think I poked it too much that I
made it sore.
And then I was like but it'ssore.
And she's like but have youbeen poking it?
And I was like yeah, butanyways, I think, like any kind
of lump you should like ifyou're feeling unsure about it
go and get it checked, but atleast you checked it and someone
could like go, you know what?
Rose Oates (47:47):
No, that's normal, it's not normal.
But if you're just going toleave it there like that's
actually risking your life, sodefinitely it's anything in
general.
Chrystal (47:56):
Yeah, I feel like definitely, as women, we push
everything aside.
Rose Oates (47:59):
We've got other things to do.
When we push everything aside,we're like oh, I'm working.
Chrystal (48:02):
I don't have time, I can't get a day off, or whatever
.
We do definitely need toprioritise ourselves and the
amount of people I've said likehave you had that mole checked?
Rose Oates (48:11):
And they're like oh no, and I'm like that looks A
little bit festy.
Chrystal (48:14):
That looks like it needs to be checked.
It's just getting into a molescan clinic and then getting on
change and letting one scan yourbody and just all of the things
Like we just need to prioritiseourselves your health is
everything, and without ityou've got nothing.
Rose Oates (48:27):
Yeah, so it is worth getting it checked.
And I always say yes, feel iton the first.
Yes, but you know what?
Feel it every night.
Yeah, all the time.
Feel it whenever you're in theshower.
Chrystal (48:37):
Get someone else to feel them.
Rose Oates (48:44):
Anything shower, get someone else to feel them,
anything get your new partnerhusband to give copper fuel.
They're not gonna say no.
No, they'll never say no.
Ash (48:47):
I'll be like do you just want?
Chrystal (48:48):
to know that we're looking properly for the right
thing, though do you just wantto check my breast ash?
Rose Oates (48:54):
do you want to leave us with any parting advice that
you could give to survivorslike getting, like diagnosed
early, anything to impart yourwisdom?
Ash (49:03):
I think the only thing that I can and that I want to
say is early detection changeseverything.
It's key.
If something is not right, getyourself checked.
You are the only person whowill know if something's not
right, no one else can feel itfor you.
And if you are about to startyour journey with chemotherapy,
(49:26):
I will not lie it is going to bethe single most horrific thing
you will ever do.
But you will come out on theother side.
You might lose your hair.
You might not, If you know,because usually the oncologist
will tell you if you're about tolose your hair or not.
If the drug will make you loseyour hair, Go get your eyebrows
tattooed, guys.
And ladies.
Yeah, Everybody Actually yeaheveryone.
(49:49):
Don't walk around withouteyebrows, it's a bit scary.
Chrystal (49:52):
But you never got to that point, right, you tattooed
before she tattooed.
Ash (49:54):
I tattooed right after my first chemotherapy.
Chrystal (49:57):
And they look great.
By the way, I would do that too.
Ash (50:00):
Because I didn't know how to draw my own eyebrows on yeah.
Rose Oates (50:03):
And take up the services they sound like they're
some amazing services andobviously, all these services
would be available in all thedifferent states.
Ash (50:10):
Correct, correct, all the different states.
And Cancer Council has so muchYep, they've got counselling
sessions, they've got the LookGood, feel, feel good.
(50:33):
I think I'm pretty sure it'sthrough cancer council as well.
They do so much work withpatients and with families as
well.
And if you need, if you need anetwork, there is a Facebook
page called Cancer ChicksAustralia okay that you can join
.
Rose Oates (50:39):
I love that.
We'll make sure that we takeall these details from you as
well.
So we'll put them in the shownotes, just in case.
Chrystal (50:44):
But also too cancer also gets men.
Ash (50:47):
Yes, absolutely.
Chrystal (50:49):
This is another thing that we also need.
Breast cancer gets men.
Yes, absolutely.
Rose Oates (50:52):
So if you've got breasts everybody, then check
your breasts, yes.
Ash (50:56):
Absolutely yeah, it's very important.
Chrystal (50:58):
Yeah, it's very important.
Ash (51:00):
Yeah.
So Cancer Chicks Australia isfor any female going through any
sort of cancer, whether you'vejust been diagnosed, whether
you're a survivor, and it issuch an amazing, brilliant
network of women that are therefor you at every second of the
day.
Rose Oates (51:22):
And it's probably good to have a community that
knows exactly what you're goingthrough.
Yes, so you can have friendsand family, but to have someone
that's either been through it,is going through it or is, on
the other side, correct To beable to ask questions.
Ash (51:32):
It's very different, and I remember just posting stuff on
there at like 12 midnight andsomeone already answered.
So it's such a great network.
They are amazingly supportivewomen.
I've got two super closefriends that I've made from the
network, one of who I metrecently when I went over to
(51:55):
Sydney.
Chrystal (51:55):
Yeah, ash, we have absolutely loved having you on.
Obviously, rose, and I know youquite well.
We've had this chat, but Ithink it was really important to
share with everybody at Bearingit All.
Thank you so much for having me, guys, and just check your
breasties.
Rose Oates (52:09):
Yes, Check your titties, your tatas, your
boyfriends boobies, get them tocheck, them Check them every
bloody shower.
Just give them a good loofah,touch them.
If it doesn't feel right, getthem checked out.
Look after your health.
But we are so like honoured tohave you on for you taking the
time today.
We will pop all of Ash'sdetails and all of the
(52:30):
recommendations she has sharedwith us today in the show notes.
But in the meantime, alwaystake care of yourselves and take
care of each other.
Chrystal (52:38):
Bye Ash, See you later.
Bye.
Welcome back to another episode of Bearing it
All with Rose and Crystal.
Today we are honoured to haveAsh with us.
Ash is a 36-year-old specialneeds teacher from Western
Australia who has an incrediblestory of resilience and advocacy
.
Ash is a breast cancer survivorwho bravely underwent four
months of chemotherapy andradiation treatment.
Not only did Ash conquer thispersonal battle, but they also
(00:23):
turned their experience into amission, working with Pink Hope
Australia to spread the messageabout importance of early
detection.
Ash, welcome to Bearing it All.
Rose Oates (00:34):
Welcome Ash to the pod.
Thanks so much for coming on.
Thank you so much.
Chrystal (00:38):
Ash is actually one of Halo's clients and she's
become a little regular at thesalon, yep, and over the time at
Halo, ash has shared a bit ofher story, and it's actually a
story that we all need to hear,I feel, yep.
So I think let's just get intoit, like, tell us a bit about
you, what you do, what you wentthrough.
Ash (01:01):
So I was diagnosed.
I'm 36, I was diagnosed at 30.
And it was a really strangelead up to the diagnosis because
I was going crazy on a dietbecause I wanted to lose weight
for my friend's wedding and Ithink because of that and I did
lose weight, so yay me.
But because of that I felt alump when I was having a shower.
Chrystal (01:25):
So the cancer diagnosis was breast cancer.
Ash (01:28):
Yeah, so it was stage two invasive ductal carcinoma and it
was an estrogen positive, so itwas triggered by estrogen.
Mind you, when my GP told meall these words, I had no idea
what she was saying.
Rose Oates (01:44):
Can I go back to the lump though?
Yes, Now you're in the shower.
When my GP told me all thesewords, I had no idea what she
was saying Can I go back to thelump though?
Ash (01:46):
Yes.
Rose Oates (01:47):
Now you're in the shower and you feel this lump.
But what did it actually feellike?
What made you even go?
Oh, that doesn't feel right.
Ash (01:54):
So the best way for me to describe it was like you have
your AirPods case, right yeah,and it was like half the size of
an AirPod case.
Oh, and it was like half thesize of an AirPod case, and it
was hard, that's quite big and Iwas like that's not normal,
that is not normal at all.
Yeah, so I got out of the shower, called my cousin, who's a
(02:18):
surgeon, over in New South Wales, and I just asked her what do I
do?
Because, back story, she's alsobeen through breast cancer
herself.
Okay, and I told her this iswhat I feel, I don't know, I
have no idea what do I do.
And she's like all right, let'sjust, you know, don't panic,
just get yourself a GPappointment, let them know of
(02:41):
the history that you've got andif they sort of dismiss you,
push for an ultrasound.
So I met the next day.
I made an appointment,surprisingly, got an 8 am
appointment at the GP and when Ispoke to the lady, thankfully
the GP that I was seeing waslike okay, you know what, let's
(03:03):
just send you for an ultrasound.
Yeah, I love that.
And everything sort of fellinto place because I got an
ultrasound appointment for 8.45.
Chrystal (03:11):
On the same day.
Ash (03:12):
On the same day, that is like never happens, never yeah,
never Okay 8.45 the same day atSt John of God, Subie and I went
to the GP just near Woolies, soI just walked over.
I walked over, I went for theultrasound and in the ultrasound
room the radiologist was likeoh yeah, I see something there.
(03:36):
I'm going to just get thedoctor to come in.
Oh God, I feel like that isnever a good thing right Any
pauses when they just hover,exactly.
And so at that point it feltlike a lump in my stomach.
Rose Oates (03:53):
Yeah, were you on your own as well.
Ash (04:05):
I was.
Chrystal (04:05):
I was on my own.
I live in.
Ash (04:06):
Australia on my own.
My parents are all in Malaysia,my family's all in Malaysia,
and so I felt it was like whatthe hell?
So the doctor came in and saidlook, there is something there,
and just to be safe, I want todo a biopsy and I'm going to
send you for a mammogram as well.
I was 30.
I'd never had a mammogrambefore.
Chrystal (04:21):
But they don't do mammograms at 30.
What's the age for a mammogram?
Rose Oates (04:23):
I think, it's like 40.
But I think that's even lifted.
Ash (04:27):
I think it used to be 50.
Yeah, so now it's 40.
So I was like, okay, cool, yep,let's do this.
I had never had a biopsy in mylife before, and when I saw that
needle I was like what?
Yeah, it's huge right, theliving hell is this, and that's
(04:47):
when I was like, oh crap.
Rose Oates (04:49):
So it hadn't really dawned on you until you saw like
you went in for the biopsy.
Chrystal (04:52):
Really Wait.
How long after the ultrasoundwas the biopsy?
Ash (04:57):
So the ultrasound, I think , finally finished around 10.
The ultrasound they sent mestraight to mammogram and then
they scheduled me for a biopsythe same day.
Chrystal (05:06):
What- the actual heck .
I feel like this doesn't everhappen, right?
People wait weeks for this kindof thing.
Ash (05:12):
It did happen really fast.
Everything happened very, veryfast.
So I saw the GP went to get theultrasound, ultrasound turned
into mammogram and then thebiopsy was, I think about like
three hours later.
Chrystal (05:26):
Wow, a lot of women feel a lump and they don't know
what it is for months because,of the process.
Rose Oates (05:32):
Yep.
Chrystal (05:33):
Somebody was looking out for you that day.
Yes, yes.
Rose Oates (05:35):
Wow 100%.
Ash (05:36):
So everything happened and I got my results in two days.
Chrystal (05:40):
But also, you didn't have time to process, right?
You just felt a lump.
Then you're there, then you'rehaving a biopsy.
It's like you can't it happenedall in three days?
Rose Oates (05:47):
Oh God, yes.
Ash (05:54):
Basically, you didn't from lump.
Three days later you find outyou have breast cancer.
Yeah, oh my God, it was insane.
So that day I had all theappointments, one of like the
scans, one after another.
I got home and then I wastalking to my mum and dad on
FaceTime and my mum was like,nah, that's it, we're just
coming.
So my parents, my sister, mybrother-in-law and my cousin
flew over the next morning.
They were there the nextmorning, which was good.
(06:16):
So that was, I had all thescans on the Wednesday, on
Thursday morning.
They flew in Friday.
We got the, so you weren'talone.
Chrystal (06:28):
So when they came, they didn't know you had breast
cancer yet.
No, oh shit, and they flew justin case.
Do you think they thought itwas?
Ash (06:36):
So what my dad said was I need a holiday anyway.
No, my cousin said that she waslike I need a holiday anyway.
So if it's not, we'll just godo stuff.
Chrystal (06:45):
Oh OK.
Ash (06:45):
If it's not, it's a holiday.
If it is, we're there for you.
Oh my gosh, that's beautiful.
Yeah, so we did that.
And then on Friday, did you goin for your diagnosis?
I did.
There was a little kerfuffle.
That happened there and when Ilook back on it it now I'm like
God damn it.
I should have sued the place.
But what happened?
Was I called?
(07:06):
So my appointment was meant tobe for, I think, 2pm.
I called at 12pm to find out ifmy results were in yet, and what
happened was the SKG hadmisspelt my surname, which is a
common mistake, that can happenbut they misspelt my.
They had the correct surnamefor my surname, which is a
common mistake, that can happenbut they misspelled my.
They had the correct surnamefor my ultrasound, but they
(07:28):
misspelled my biopsy.
So when the results got sent tothe GP clinic, my biopsy wasn't
put into my file because thename was spelled wrong.
So the nurse practitioner whowas there clicked open on my
file, saw the ultrasound resultsand said oh, everything's fine
because you can't really seeanything from the ultrasound.
And so I was like well, thereis a lump, I need to know if I
(07:50):
need to take it out.
Blah, blah, blah.
And she was like well, if youwant to come in at two o'clock,
you can.
It's entirely up to you.
I was like, yeah, no, I'llstill go, imagine if you didn't.
I went, my sister came with meand we sat there and so you're a
little bit relieved at thispoint in some ways.
Yeah, because I was like that's, you know, it's not cancer, I'm
fine, we just got to work outwhat it is.
Yes.
So we sat there and I lookedand the GP looked at me and she
(08:14):
said Ash, I don't have yourresults yet.
And I'm like well, what do youmean?
Because your nurse practitionersaid everything was fine and
she's like what does she mean?
I was like I don't know.
So anyway, on the spot shecalls the place up and works out
that my name was spelled wrong.
So she said the biopsy's in,I'm going to open it now Opened
it.
She looked at it, looked at meand said I'm so sorry, it's
stage two breast cancer.
Chrystal (08:37):
And I just sat there and I was like could you say
anything?
Did you go numb?
Ash (08:45):
What was your reaction?
I think like everything in mejust died and then I fell into
my sister's arms.
That's as much as I rememberfrom being in the room with the
doctor.
Everything went numb, it died,and then I fell into my sister's
arms and I was crying and mybrother-in-law, who was in the
room as well, was franticallysearching which oncologist and
(09:07):
breast surgeon to get a referralfor.
Rose Oates (09:09):
So they were sort of like managing the situation for
you to start the proceed, likeget everything moving, yeah.
Ash (09:16):
So we got we got the oncologist and breast surgeon
referral and we went home.
It was a Friday afternoon.
We went home.
I spent pretty much the entireday and night after that on the
kitchen floor, the bathroomfloor, and I was in tears
because I was like what do I do?
Age?
Chrystal (09:33):
30, that's so young to be given that kind of
diagnosis, and that's exactlywhat I was thinking.
Ash (09:38):
I was like this is not possible.
I'm 30.
Like who gets breast cancer at30, man, come on, yeah, that's
really young, and that's alreadyat stage two.
Yeah, it was at stage twoalready and I was like this no
words.
But the good thing is,everything moved.
I don't know if there's a goodthing about cancer, but what I'm
grateful for is that everythingmoved really quick.
(10:00):
So I got an appointment with mybreast surgeon for Monday
morning.
Chrystal (10:05):
And you got the diagnosis on Friday.
Yeah Wow, you were lucky man.
Everything just was.
Ash (10:10):
Everything moved so quickly for me.
So I went in, saw my breastsurgeon.
She's a bloody brilliant woman.
She looked at me.
She explained everythingbecause all I knew was that it
was stage two breast cancer.
At that point I had no likethey didn't tell me any
specifics, nothing.
She, my breast surgeon,explained the whole thing to me.
(10:33):
Okay, she drew little boobies,she put little signs, she drew
arrows, told me exactly what itwould look like, taught me
through what we could do.
What were your options?
So my options were we weregoing to do a lumpectomy, okay.
And the other option was sobefore the lumpectomy, I needed
(10:54):
to do sorry, no, raise that, itwas a lumpectomy.
That was the first option.
Chrystal (11:00):
So that's just pretty much removing the cancer as
well.
Yes, the actual lump.
Ash (11:05):
So after the lumpectomy, which was scheduled for three
weeks from the first time I sawher, I had the lumpectomy, it
went off to get checked andeverything and what they found
out was they managed to removethe entire thing.
However, there were markers inmy lymph nodes.
(11:27):
It was the tiniest one, it waslike 0.03 or 0.05, something
like that.
And when we went to see myoncologist she was like look,
four rounds of chemotherapy willjust kill it all.
Whatever's there, whatever'sleft, will just die.
(11:47):
At that point I think the firstthing I thought about was I
don't want to do chemotherapybecause you hear about all the
horror stories.
You hear about the horrorstories you hear about losing
your hair, you hear about beingso sick from it.
And I told my mom I was like Ican't do this.
I don't have it in me to putmyself through that.
Chrystal (12:06):
But the option is right If you don't do
chemotherapy what happens?
Like do you, can you die?
Ash (12:12):
like what I would.
I wouldn't be able to tell youif I was gonna die, because they
did take it out.
Yeah, but, yeah, but there wasstill that mark over there which
that could then spread rightcorrect so especially when it's
in your lymph nodes yesthat more of a yes, yeah, it is,
it is absolutely and it spreadsquicker as well once it's in
your lymph nodes.
(12:32):
So we did four rounds ofchemotherapy, which I started, I
think, a week and a half, twoweeks later.
So what made you decide to?
Do, chemo then I think at thatpoint it was just I got to do it
.
I got, I have no choice.
I've got to do this to keepmyself alive and I was not ready
to die yet.
Rose Oates (12:52):
Is there any counselling or anything they
give you in preparation for anyof this?
Or during it, I can't speak forthe public system.
Ash (13:02):
So I did all my treatment and surgeries and everything in
private.
And there is a centre, so I didit at the Cancer Comprehensive
Centre in Subi and there is aspace attached to the centre
where you can go and they giveyou counselling.
There's like Reiki healing,there's yoga, there's all these
(13:26):
things.
There's also I'm trying toremember the name of the
programme Look Better, FeelBetter.
I think it might be where theyteach you how to do your
eyebrows, how to do your makeup,how to style your little turban
thing for your head and allthose stuff.
That's actually really cool.
Yeah, they do a lot and theyteach you a lot.
(13:46):
The only part about that isthat I didn't access it because,
being the stubborn human beingI was, I decided that I was
still going to work full time.
Chrystal (13:59):
While going through chemo.
Rose Oates (14:00):
Yeah, and did you.
How did that work out for you,ash, I did, oh my God.
Ash (14:06):
You animal.
I did so.
I took four days afterchemotherapy off.
I had chemo on a Thursday everythree off.
I had chemo on a Thursday everythree weeks.
I had chemo on a Thursday.
I'd take Friday and Monday offand then I'd be back in school.
Rose Oates (14:20):
And you were working with special needs teacher full
time.
Correct, you are amazing.
Ash (14:29):
So what I told myself was that, like there are so many
other people who do it, and Iwas like, if other people can do
it, I can do it as well.
Chrystal (14:38):
Did you get like?
Ash (14:38):
vomiting and stuff, though I was very nauseous but I never
threw up.
The bone aches are crazy.
So 24 hours after you have yourchemotherapy round, 24 hours
after you have your chemotherapyround, you get given this
injection that is supposed totrigger white blood cell counts
and supposedly also gives youswollen bones.
(15:02):
I never knew bones could beswollen.
Chrystal (15:04):
I still don't know if that's a thing I didn't know.
Bones could be swollen.
Ash (15:06):
I didn't know, but my body .
I could not sit, I could notlie down, I could not stand.
I could not lie down, I couldnot stand.
I couldn't do anything Likewalking to the front door in my
two bedroom apartment was takingmy breath away.
Chrystal (15:20):
Whoa, because it was so painful, your bones were just
aching yeah.
Ash (15:24):
I could feel every single spring on my mattress.
Rose Oates (15:28):
Wow, I swear I could feel it all.
Ash (15:31):
And then I decided, no, I'm chucking this mattress out.
I bought myself an Ecosamattress.
There you go, guys.
Rose Oates (15:41):
Is it good?
Yes, so if anyone's listeningand want to know what those
online mattresses are like, Ashhas the goods.
Ash (15:48):
I was like that's it, this mattress is going to the bin
and I bought myself an Ecosamattress and it was the best
thing I did for myself.
Yeah, the best 700, andwhatever dollars I spent that
week.
Ecosa, if you want to sponsorus, yes, ecosa, I do need
another king size mattress.
Thank you very much.
Rose Oates (16:06):
Moving forward from that.
Did you actually lose your hair?
I know the answer to this, butI would love you to talk us
through the process, becauseit's not an easy thing Like
women, we love our hair.
Crystal owns a salon thatspecializes in hair extensions.
Another plug there, guys.
Chrystal (16:26):
But we actually on a day to day see a lot of women
that are either going throughchemo, have gone through chemo,
have hair thinning, have losttheir hair.
Rose Oates (16:37):
Have lost their hair yeah, it's very Such an
identity, correct, like so tiedto our identity.
Chrystal (16:43):
Even myself.
Rose Oates (16:44):
Yeah, like cutting my hair off.
You know how I felt about it.
I needed to cut it off, like Ihad a Britney moment and then I
needed it back to feel likemyself.
So can you tell us about it?
Ash (16:54):
So I did what they call cold capping and that was in
hopes of preserving my hair andlessening the process of falling
, of losing my hair.
Basically, cold capping isexactly what its name is.
They put this cap on your head.
It is so tight and it is socold.
Chrystal (17:16):
It's like a freezer in your head.
It's like an ice bath on yourhead, yeah correct.
Ash (17:20):
Yeah, and it's hooked up to a device that's about that
big and if you do co-cappingyou've got to sit there two
hours before and two hours afteryour chemo infusion, because it
needs to start two hours beforeand then your chemo goes in and
your cells are still likefrozen, basically for two hours
after.
It gives you the worst headachein the world.
(17:42):
It is so painful.
I did it the first time andthen I said screw this.
Chrystal (17:49):
Yeah, I couldn't.
Ash (17:51):
So it was supposed to lessen the hair fall, so I did
it.
Chemo number one Exactly 10days after chemo number one, my
hair was starting to fall.
Rose Oates (18:01):
When you say it was falling.
How is it coming out Like whenyou?
Ash (18:06):
brush.
So if you don't brush your hair?
Okay, okay, because that will.
That will make it come out more.
That's so.
Even if I were to just like runmy fingers through, I'd have a
clump in my hand.
It's clumpy, yeah.
So it was falling out in clumpsand I was like, okay, I wasn't
(18:26):
ready to shave my hair just yet,yeah and that.
So I think it was the 10th dayat night I was.
I was seeing a guy at thatpoint and he shaved my hair.
Chrystal (18:39):
Just a guy that you just started seeing.
You were like hey, shave myhead.
You asked him to shave yourhead.
Well, we.
Ash (18:43):
I was really.
I was really self-consciousabout my hair falling and so I
didn't take off.
I had a beanie on and I didn'twant to take my beanie off
because I knew there would behair inside.
And he was like why did I justshave it for you?
Chrystal (18:57):
And I was like oh my God, that is like a lot for a
new guy to take on thatresponsibility.
Rose Oates (19:02):
How long were you seeing this guy?
Ash (19:05):
I was seeing him for about approximately five six months
Before or during During JustApproximately five six months
Before or during During.
Just when, when you found out.
Just when I was diagnosed.
I was actually talking to him.
I met him on Bumble.
I was talking to him justbefore I got diagnosed and we
were supposed to meet up and Isaid, look, I'm really sorry
(19:26):
this has happened.
Why did I say sorry?
Rose Oates (19:29):
Yeah, I agree, I was like you don't need to be sorry
.
No, I agree, I was like youdon't need to be sorry.
Ash (19:33):
No, I didn't need to be sorry.
But like at that point, yeah,exactly.
And after my surgery he startedmessaging me again and was like
you know, I really want to seeyou.
Can we please go out?
Blah, blah, blah.
And so we did, and he's juststuck around.
Chrystal (19:50):
Wait a minute.
We need to just go back alittle tiny bit, because I
remember this part of the story.
Ash (19:55):
Yeah.
Chrystal (19:55):
Where you were dating a douchey.
Rose Oates (19:59):
Is this the douchey?
Is this the douchey?
Ash (20:01):
This is said douchey.
Oh, this is juicy Ash.
This is said narcissistic,asshole.
Chrystal (20:10):
So hold on a minute.
So this was your previousrelationship yeah.
Tell me the story.
Ash (20:18):
So he stuck around, which, when you think about it, you're
like why you stuck around atthe hardest part of my life, but
he chose it too.
Rose Oates (20:28):
Yes, like he knew exactly what he was getting into
.
Ash (20:29):
Yeah, he knew exactly what he was getting into and then,
as soon as I finished activetreatment, he left.
Rose Oates (20:36):
Okay, before we get on with this story, because me
and you have talked about this Ithink it's so important that
Ash talks about this, because somany people assume that when
you're going through cancer orsomething traumatic, that you've
got such a supportive network,you've got such a supportive
husband or partner, and no onereally talks about what if you
(21:00):
don't Like, a lot of your familyand friends were in Malaysia.
Yep, you had a small networkhere in Perth, is that correct?
And you're going out with anarcissist, ash, please,
continue.
Ash (21:11):
Tell us To be fair, I didn't know he was a narcissist
at that point.
The good part with me is thatmy mom came over and spent three
months with me.
So the plan was that she wouldspend the entire three months
and then my dad, my sister, mybrother-in-law, my cousins, were
all flying in and out fromMalaysia.
Okay, amazing, yeah.
(21:32):
So they were all in and outlike every three weeks, yep, so
that there would always besomeone to support mum with what
she had.
Chrystal (21:43):
Because she was my main carer.
That's a lot in itself.
That is a lot, and you'reactually extremely lucky to have
them because, I know manypeople that I don't even know if
somebody in my life would evenfly for me.
But that's why it's soimportant.
Rose Oates (21:56):
Like not everyone's got the like you had to have
that family network doing all ofthat Correct.
But then having a newishrelationship with someone that
maybe didn't have the rightintentions or it was very it's a
real please.
Ash (22:10):
It was.
It was very interesting becausethere was a point where most of
my close friends had met him,and I don't think any of my
close friends liked him, werethey like Ash Red Flag?
Yes, oh God.
Rose Oates (22:25):
But do you know?
Ash (22:26):
there's actually a but did I see the Red Flag no.
Rose Oates (22:28):
No, no one, we don't .
I was too busy.
Ash (22:32):
I was like I'm fighting for my life.
Chrystal (22:33):
There's actually people out there, though, that
they attach themselves to peoplewho have illnesses Correct, and
it's like I don't know what thename of it is Like a God
complex.
Rose Oates (22:42):
I want to save them.
Chrystal (22:48):
Yes, no, it's not even about saving, it's the
attention that they somethingPoor me almost yeah it's
actually a thing Like there'sactually parents that have got
it from their child.
Ash (22:57):
Yeah.
Chrystal (22:58):
Like.
Ash (23:00):
So that was that.
It was when everything ended.
It was heartbreaking and I wasseverely broken.
But now, when I look back at it, I just tell myself, like look,
it was a bullet, a massivebullet that I dodged.
This guy was a massivenarcissist, and I'm, he was, you
(23:21):
know.
He was there for the fourmonths, five months that he
served his purpose and it wasdone, yeah.
Chrystal (23:29):
Was he supportive during that time or like was he
causing you more anguish than hewas doing anything good?
Ash (23:36):
Look, I've got to say throughout the time it was fine,
he really served his purpose.
Yeah, he kept me happy andthat's it.
But as soon as active treatmentended, he was out, which for me
was like why would you staythrough the most crucial part
and then go?
And it was.
I was broken.
(23:58):
I was so, so broken that thefirst thing I could do is take
an Uber up to my friend's placein Kalamanda.
That the first thing I could dowas take an Uber up to my
friend's place in Kalamunda andher and her husband gave me one
and a half sleeping pills thatput me to sleep for 17 hours.
Wow, you needed it.
It was the best 17 hours of mylife.
Rose Oates (24:15):
Yeah, I slept.
It was like almost you neededto sleep off everything for a
bit.
Yeah, like your mind and yourbody were exhausted.
Ash (24:25):
Yeah 100%.
Chrystal (24:25):
I'd like a 17-hour sleep right now.
Thank you.
Rose Oates (24:28):
I'd like a five-hour uninterrupted sleep.
I am so uncomfortable in myneck and my back.
I feel bad, complaining.
Ash (24:37):
It's okay, tell me.
Oh, my God, you're pain.
Rose Oates (24:40):
But it's just wild, the whole story.
I mean, we're so lucky andhappy that you are here now, six
years on.
But back to early detection,which is what you really
advocate for and what we had hada discussion about as well.
So not that long ago, I had alump I go to touch it
(25:04):
immediately in my right breast,which actually I'm going to
laugh, though turned out to bemastitis.
I haven't breastfed for twoyears, guys, just letting you
know that it can fucking happen.
But I shared that online andjust really because I do the
bathroom chats and I'll be in mybras and undies and I felt it
(25:26):
that night, so I just brought itup.
I said, oh, I've got to get itchecked, blah, blah, blah.
And the amount of feedback tosay don't worry about it, it's
normal to have lumps in yourboob.
Oh, it's probably nothing.
If I probably would havelistened to that, I may not have
done anything about it andProbably would have listened to
that.
Yeah, I may not have doneanything about it.
(25:47):
Yeah, and to be honest with you, I can be quite lazy when it
comes to my health.
Yeah, don't judge me, but forme obviously, like being
mastitis, I started having arash.
Chrystal (25:54):
Yeah.
Rose Oates (25:55):
So no pain at the time, but the rash and I was
like, oh God, that's anothersign.
Chrystal (25:59):
Yeah, I'm nearly 40.
Rose Oates (26:00):
I'm nearly 40.
I'm 39 years old, haven'tbreastfed for two years.
That was my second red flag.
I did go to the doctorstraightaway.
I had an ultrasound, turned outto be obviously nothing
sinister, but your mind does goto the gutter, especially as you
get older.
Correct, and it was reallysurprising to me and why I think
it's so important to talk aboutearly detection and to just, if
(26:21):
in doubt, check it out.
Yeah, because so many peopleare like don't worry about it.
Ash (26:25):
Yeah, I'm like worry about it, girls, worry about it.
Rose Oates (26:28):
Worry about it you also told me a story that you
shared a lot of your journeyalong the way through different
social platforms and et cetera,and was it your friend?
Ash (26:39):
Yeah, so it was my schoolmate, who coincidentally
lives just so my parents live inan apartment block and she was
on the ground floor, yeah, andshe sent me a message and said
oh you know, thanks for sharingyour story.
I've had these lumps in mybreast and I'm just going to go
(26:59):
get it checked out, but she wasbreastfeeding, so in my head
even I was like, oh, it'sprobably mastitis, it's probably
mastitis yeah probably likeclogged ducts, which which is
what she thought it was as welldo not tell me it was?
it was breast cancer, yeah, andwhat stage was it?
It was, I believe, either stageone or zero, so she didn't need
(27:20):
chemotherapy.
She had a mastectomy I on bothsides, or maybe one side, and
she's on estrogen treatment nowOkay, so are you on any
treatments?
I am, so I take because thecancer was estrogen positive,
which means it was triggered byall the estrogen in my body.
I am on what they calltamoxifen, so I used to be on an
(27:44):
estrozole and Zolidex.
Zolidex is a monthly injectionto sort of preserve your ovaries
and stop the activity, but theZolidex needle is like it's a
dinosaur.
Rose Oates (28:02):
The way you're doing it.
It looks like as thick as astraw?
Ash (28:04):
No, it's a massive needle.
So what does that do?
Rose Oates (28:08):
Suppress your estrogen a bit.
Ash (28:10):
It suppresses your ovaries .
So the anestrosol suppressesyour estrogen production from
everywhere else in your body,okay, and the Zolidex suppresses
the ovaries.
Chrystal (28:20):
So that makes you not be able to fall pregnant?
Correct, okay, yeah.
Rose Oates (28:23):
Okay, yeah, okay.
So what if you want to becomepregnant?
Like, do you want to have a?
Ash (28:28):
family.
I do.
I do so fast forward all theseyears.
I met the most amazing man.
We do want to hear about him,yes, so.
Rose Oates (28:40):
Who was too short for you?
Apparently Ash.
And by the way, if you can'tsee, Ash, she's not exactly a
tall woman.
No, I'm like 4'9".
Oh shit, so realistically, anyman would be taller than you.
But continue, Tell us aboutyour amazing partner.
Ash (29:00):
So we met on Hinge.
It was really funny, but I hadto go in for a septoplasty and
sinus surgery because my sinuseswere so fucked.
And then I was in the hospitaland because it was COVID you
couldn't have any visitors.
And so I was like, oh, screw it, I'm going to like download
Hinge.
Okay, at that point she washospital boredom.
(29:23):
At that point I was off menbecause I was like, screw y'all.
So I downloaded Hinge and um,and then I got a message from
this guy and I was like, oh yeah, I was also very, very high on
like and I started messaging him.
And then I just didn't thinkanything of it.
And I started messaging him andthen I just didn't think
(29:43):
anything of it.
And the next day he texted meagain.
And then a week later we werestill texting and he was on site
because he's a FIFO person, andI thought, nah, like, I bet you
, this guy isn't real.
So I actually suggested that wehad a FaceTime call because I
(30:11):
needed to know that he wasn't arobot.
The ash wasn't there.
I FaceTimed with him.
I don't have you ever had aseptoplasty surgery before?
Chrystal (30:17):
for your sinus no.
Ash (30:19):
I need to have it done, but so you get like you've got
this like bandage on your noseand you suggested a FaceTime and
it's like attached to your faceand there's like blood coming
out and you FaceTimed him thatday.
Rose Oates (30:33):
Were you still high?
No, I wasn't.
You were sane.
Ash (30:37):
I was.
I was very sane.
But then he answered the phoneand I was like oh great, you're
not a robot.
Did he ask what the hell washappening to your face?
He knew that I had this surgery, but then after that, and he
was having an extended swing,which is why everything was like
(30:58):
.
I was like, oh, would you liketo go off coffee?
And he's like, oh, I'm havingan extended swing.
Chrystal (31:02):
And you're like sure you are.
This guy is a robot.
Ash (31:07):
But then after that we started talking more and my
friends laugh.
They crack up at this and wetalked about it on the weekend
as well.
But after you have aseptoplasty surgery, you have to
rinse your sinuses every fourhours and the gunk that comes
out of your nose it's like Idon't even know.
Chrystal (31:30):
Maybe don't discuss it.
I've got a week coming.
Ash (31:33):
Well, I took a photo and sent it to him.
What?
Rose Oates (31:37):
What happened.
I would gag.
You know what, though?
At this point, ash is like I'vebeen through the worst I could
ever be.
Yes, exactly If, at this point,ash is like I've been through
the worst I could ever be Like,if this guy can't handle me,
then I.
Ash (31:47):
You know what's the worst that could happen.
I sent him a photo and I waslike, hey, look, what should I
name this guy?
Rose Oates (31:54):
Oh my God, I sent him a photo of a booger,
basically.
Ash (31:58):
Yeah, it wasn't just a booger, it was disgusting.
I've got a weak stomach, Allright.
Well, I'll stop there.
So anyway, this is when I waslike all right, this guy is
actually quite funny because hehasn't stopped talking to me,
right.
Chrystal (32:15):
Were you trying to push him away?
If somebody sent me their snot,I would run for the hills.
Rose Oates (32:19):
It's like the first week and the first time you ever
see this woman.
She's wearing a nose plasteraround her ears and the thing is
as well like Ash told me aswell while we were just sitting
at the salon like you had evenput on your profile.
Ash (32:34):
Yeah, it was on my profile that I was a breast cancer
survivor.
Rose Oates (32:38):
Because she didn't want to make things awkward.
Chrystal (32:39):
Yeah, because that's another thing you don't think of
you didn't want to bring it upto people.
Ash (32:42):
Yeah, and it was one of my really good friends at work
because I was talking to her andI was like you know, kaz, what
am I supposed to do Like when?
At what point do I bring it upwith a person, like at the first
date, at the fourth date?
Rose Oates (32:54):
Yeah, and she was like well, just, put it on your
profile yeah, just get it outthere, really like it's just
freeing, isn't it?
Yeah was there a photo of?
Ash (33:03):
you bald on daily mail.
Yes, daily mail did a like awhole thing, daily mail.
Rose Oates (33:09):
Well, I also want to share a photo of ash bald.
She's actually the cutest eggyou've ever seen.
Ash (33:15):
Oh, my god, I had such a egg head it was so smooth yes,
it was.
Yeah, yeah, it was insane,because everything falls off,
even the tiniest bit.
Chrystal (33:22):
Yeah you lose your eyebrows and your eyelashes yes,
you do.
Ash (33:26):
Oh my god, I was trying to hold on to my eyelashes and
then when the last one fell, Iwas like I'm gonna fucking make
a wish on that.
Um, so my eyebrows.
I lost most of it, but the bestadvice that I got that I would
like that I pass on to anyonewho speaks to me who has gone
through breast cancer or isgoing through chemotherapy is go
(33:49):
get your eyebrows tattooedBefore they come out, because
then they've got the shapeQuestion I'm asking for a friend
Does your chin hair and liphair fall out?
Everything Fuck, even your chin,oh yes.
Chrystal (34:02):
Even your chin, Everything.
She was naked.
I mean no your gin, everything.
Rose Oates (34:04):
She was naked.
I mean no, I can't say oh, youwere bald, you were.
Chrystal (34:09):
I was like proper bald.
Yeah, because like you shaveand you miss parts she was
actually like a dolphin, correct?
Rose Oates (34:15):
Silky, I mean that was like not perks of the head,
but yeah.
Yeah, everything and regrowthwas very interesting because
even now, like are you justfluffy and soft, how does it
grow?
Chrystal (34:30):
back.
Does it go back, not in like,does it grow back fully in
patches?
How does it work patches?
Ash (34:35):
like, and even that, like my leg hair doesn't grow for
about a good three, four months.
Rose Oates (34:42):
I don't want to talk to you right now.
Yeah, I'm really sorry.
No, that's fine, I would never.
I would never.
But with your hair, though,hair is different for everyone,
so we know somebody that whenher hair came back, it was so
curly and wild.
Yes, and almost a differentcolour.
Yeah, some people come backgrey.
Ash (34:59):
Yeah, and yourself.
Rose Oates (35:00):
How have you found it?
Ash (35:01):
So mine grew back wavy.
Rose Oates (35:06):
But very, very thin, so it's not regained its
thickness.
Ash (35:11):
No, definitely lost all volume, like I used to have
proper brown person thick hair.
Rose Oates (35:17):
Yep Brown person thick hair.
I do know what you mean.
I'm going to bring up something, though.
Chrystal (35:23):
So if anyone's ever had hair extensions you would
know that extensions do have theability to have some shedding
and I remember the first timeAsh ever got extensions it
actually triggered some of heremotion from losing hair because
of the hair extensions.
Obviously you notice it morewhen you've got extensions, like
if they shed a bit, like younotice it and it was triggering
(35:43):
like emotion to you, it was, itwas, it was, and then I remember
you being like Crystal, likeit's actually triggering me,
it's upsetting me and I was likewhat?
Ash (35:50):
can I do?
I was like I need more.
What do you?
Rose Oates (35:51):
want me to do Like.
I love that you brought that up.
Ash (35:54):
Yeah.
Rose Oates (35:59):
I forgot about that.
People think about okay, she'smarried, it's done.
Yes, guys.
Ash (36:04):
I got married to that amazing man.
She got married to thatnot-so-tall.
Rose Oates (36:07):
Is he a bald man?
Yes, hey there, but no onetalks about after cancer.
No, like you, don't hear asmuch, especially someone that
hasn't.
We haven't been through it,luckily, or anything like that.
I don't know someone superclose but in the sense of like I
didn't know you had to be ontreatment that does all of that
(36:30):
and even the hair loss thingsthat are triggering you.
Are you still scared sometimesof it coming back Every day?
Ash (36:37):
Every day.
It's something that you learnto live with the fear.
It's something that you learnto live with the fear, but, at
the same time, how I got myselfthrough it was that it's always
going to be at the back of mymind.
I'm always going to be, becausethere's always the chance of it
reoccurring.
Rose Oates (36:58):
Yes.
Ash (37:00):
But I can't stop living life because of that fear.
Yeah, I love that and that'swhat keeps me going every day is
that I've you know, there are alot of people that have not
been able to go on, and that's awhole other thing, because and
I never used to like obviouslyyou don't know about this
(37:22):
because you don't have cancerbut whenever I heard about
people like I lost two of myuncles to cancer after I got
diagnosed, and then I heardabout people like that, I knew
who was passing from cancer andI started feeling very guilty.
Chrystal (37:41):
Surviving, yeah, and I never knew that survivor's
guilt was a thing, but I startedfeeling very guilty.
Ash (37:43):
Survivor's guilt, yeah, and I never knew that survivor's
guilt was a thing.
But I started feeling reallyguilty because I'm like, well,
they fought as hard as I did,but why did they have to die?
Yeah.
But then you start living withall of that and you start going
well, it was their time, so thatwas that.
And you just remind yourselfthat you've had that second
(38:07):
chance and you, you don't wasteit.
Yeah, you bloody, live it.
Rose Oates (38:10):
You live differently now that you've had that brush
with death.
Like you see the worlddifferently.
Chrystal (38:16):
Yes, I remember you talking about something, though,
that actually made me want tocry yeah, and it was that after
your diagnosis, you went througha time where you're thinking I
can't.
Ash (38:28):
I can't do this.
I will pinpoint it straightdown to.
It was right after my secondchemotherapy and I was sitting
on my couch and right outside myapartment was the City West
train station and my mom hadgone out because I sent her out
with my auntie just to take abreath.
(38:49):
And I remember sitting thereand I thought if I just walked
through the tracks and got hit,that would be easier for
everyone and I wouldn't have todo.
I wouldn't have to dochemotherapy anymore because
chemotherapy is the single mostbrutal thing I have ever done in
my life.
It is painful, it is tiring, ittakes so much of your.
(39:15):
It takes so much in you to justto just move, to like move one
finger, um, and yeah, after thesecond one I was, you know, even
though I kept telling myself Iwas like you know, I'm already
at the halfway point, there'sjust two more to go, let's do
(39:36):
this.
But there was still that bit inme that was like I can't do
this anymore.
Done, yeah.
Chrystal (39:40):
I felt like you were done.
You felt like you were done.
Ash (39:41):
Yeah, truly felt like I was done, but then I think what
really got me like sort of pastthat, or just made me push
myself even more, was the factthat, you know, I had my family
around.
I had my cousins and my sisterand my brother-in-law, my dad,
like flying in and out.
The second I got diagnosed, mysister started a group chat with
(40:06):
all my cousins and they had atimetable Excel spreadsheet with
who was coming in.
Like who was going to come in?
I think it was through.
Was it through this?
Just after the first chemo, myyounger cousin, brother, flew in
and he was like I don't knowhow I can help you, but I'm here
.
I'm here and just tell me whatyou want me to do.
(40:30):
So he was driving me to andfrom school every day.
He was driving me to and fromschool and, like I lived in City
West and I worked in Armadaleat that point, oh my.
Rose Oates (40:39):
God.
So it's just the little things.
Ash (40:40):
Yeah, it's the little things.
Rose Oates (40:43):
And so like, with friends and family and even
friends that you had in Perthalready.
What is some advice that youwould feel like you know you
would like to give people thatare helping or supporting
somebody with cancer or goingthrough something that you went
through, because I thinksometimes we feel weird.
Chrystal (41:01):
Like what do we do?
Rose Oates (41:02):
How do we help?
How do we speak to them?
What do we say?
Ash (41:06):
Don't treat people like they're broken, because they're
not.
They're not broken, so don'tyou know?
Don't be like I'm so sorry,like we don't need your sympathy
.
Just be normal with me, benormal, be as normal as possible
.
But it's the small things thatcount, like I had my friends
(41:27):
calling me and just asking me ona weekend, like do you want to
go out for coffee?
Like let me just take you out.
I had a friend that I hadn'tspoken to in so long who
messaged me and was like how canI help my mom's over?
Do you want me to cook somefood?
And I was like no, you know,don't worry about it Like my
(41:49):
mom's here.
And she actually cooked I thinkit was maybe three dishes, and
just dropped it off at the house, maybe not asking and just
doing.
Yeah, just do it.
And it's a lot also for theperson who's caring for the sick
person, because it was a lotfor my mum.
(42:09):
So with the place in the CancerComprehensive Centre that
offers all the support it alsoextends to the family members
that are caring for them, and somum was going in for
counselling.
Oh, that's so good yeah mumwent in for, I think, three
sessions of counselling, andthat was good for her, because
she needed to talk to someone.
Chrystal (42:29):
Yeah.
Ash (42:30):
Because I cannot imagine having to support your daughter
through something like that.
Oh yeah, that just gives meyeah, the two of you are mums.
I have no idea how that wouldfeel.
Chrystal (42:42):
I think you'd prefer, it was you, the fear of losing
a child anyways, regardless butobviously cancer as well.
It's traumatising andheartbreaking.
Rose Oates (42:53):
I love that there's those services out there that
you've said that there's heapsCancer Council offers so much
that's so good to know yeah.
Chrystal (43:00):
So I had a question before and I sorry I didn't ask,
but you mentioned that you wentthrough everything privately.
Yeah, If you went through thesystem publicly, is the wait
time like humongous for it anddo you get seen Like do you just
die from cancer because youdon't get seen, Like what, what
is that?
Or you don't really know, Idon't actually know.
Ash (43:21):
To be honest, I wouldn't be able to tell you, but what I
found was that, sitting at aprivate clinic, like at a
private at the Ivy Suite at theCancer Comprehensive Centre, I
remember looking around andthere were no young people
around me.
Everyone was old, everyone wasolder, and I sat there thinking
what the hell, man, how did Iget this so early?
(43:43):
And there's no one else aroundme?
So I actually asked one of thenurses there and, bless her, she
had a really good conversationwith me and she actually told me
, ash, the reason why you don'tsee that many is that because
most people your age don't havesuch extensive cover that covers
like cancer treatments andeverything People probably can't
(44:05):
afford it.
Correct.
And so there you would.
Rose Oates (44:08):
you know, it's not that you're the only person who
at this age, but they're notgoing through private they're
not going through private A lotof younger people would be going
through the public system noteven thinking, Because when I
was from maybe 20 to 30, myinsurance probably wasn't that
high yeah you just get the twinshare because, like me and Craig
were together and we justplotted along yeah and then yeah
(44:31):
.
Chrystal (44:31):
But we have this same issue with like.
We spoke about this on a recentpodcast about like psychology
sessions being so expensive.
It's the same thing with likethis kind of thing, like when
you're needing treatment.
Correct the actual financialamount you may not be able to
cover.
Ash (44:47):
Yeah, the only reason why I have always had an excess
cover, like an extra cover, isbecause I started in Australia
as an international student andwhen I registered with Medibank
you have to have a certainamount of cover, blah, blah blah
.
And throughout my life inMalaysia I've always had health
(45:08):
insurance, private health care.
That is something that's reallybig for my dad.
You have to have private healthcare.
So when I sent him the littlelist when I moved over from
being on a student visa to apermanent resident visa, I was
like which one am I going for?
Rose Oates (45:24):
And he picked so I had nothing to do.
That's lucky, right yeah?
Ash (45:27):
So dad had picked what I was going to take and I'm lucky
I'm lucky that you knoweverything fell into place in
that sense.
Chrystal (45:35):
Because I do wonder, like what is the wait time, if
you were to go public, yeah, thepublic system, yeah the public
system.
Rose Oates (45:41):
Yeah, I don't think that.
Obviously, if it was serious,they're going to, you know, let
anything happen to anyone.
Chrystal (45:46):
I just saw my mum's friend during COVID time.
She actually died from bowelcancer because they weren't
doing any surgeries or shecouldn't do any testing Like
there was, just it got delayed,delayed, delayed, and then the
next minute she passed away andit was, I know, during COVID
time.
But I always think now aboutwhat?
About people who can't affordthese kind of services?
Rose Oates (46:07):
Yeah, I often think about just people not getting
things checked.
Like it doesn't matter whatcancer, what you know.
Ash (46:16):
Whatever it is.
Rose Oates (46:17):
Legal.
It is Like, if you're not sure,if in doubt, check it out.
And I think like, even havingbeen, after I had Esme, I ended
up with an infection that Inearly went septic.
That's another day, anotherstory for another day.
But I got told oh yeah, noworries, you can go to your trip
in Kalbarri, and I reckon Inearly nearly had to be
(46:40):
airlifted back to Perth.
So it's, and I had been pushingfor weeks and weeks with the
doctor.
Chrystal (46:47):
You knew something was wrong.
Rose Oates (46:48):
I went to three different doctors who were
saying you're just stressed youknow, not feeling well because
you're a new mum and there'sjust things like that.
Like, if you've got a gutfeeling that something's not
right, check it out.
If you aren't happy with what adoctor's saying, you can go for
a second opinion, even ifyou're young.
Listen to what Ash is sayinghere.
(47:09):
Excuse me, that is all good.
Ash (47:11):
Push.
It's your body, so you knowthat something's not right.
Yeah and push for.
Chrystal (47:17):
you need to advocate for your own self, but I feel
like, as a woman anyways, anykind of lump, like I understand
that a lot of us have, like youknow, lumpy breasts.
What did they tell me that Ihad like fatty?
Rose Oates (47:28):
juicy breasts.
Chrystal (47:30):
I had a lump and I think I poked it too much that I
made it sore.
And then I was like but it'ssore.
And she's like but have youbeen poking it?
And I was like yeah, butanyways, I think, like any kind
of lump you should like ifyou're feeling unsure about it
go and get it checked, but atleast you checked it and someone
could like go, you know what?
Rose Oates (47:47):
No, that's normal, it's not normal.
But if you're just going toleave it there like that's
actually risking your life, sodefinitely it's anything in
general.
Chrystal (47:56):
Yeah, I feel like definitely, as women, we push
everything aside.
Rose Oates (47:59):
We've got other things to do.
When we push everything aside,we're like oh, I'm working.
Chrystal (48:02):
I don't have time, I can't get a day off, or whatever
.
We do definitely need toprioritise ourselves and the
amount of people I've said likehave you had that mole checked?
Rose Oates (48:11):
And they're like oh no, and I'm like that looks A
little bit festy.
Chrystal (48:14):
That looks like it needs to be checked.
It's just getting into a molescan clinic and then getting on
change and letting one scan yourbody and just all of the things
Like we just need to prioritiseourselves your health is
everything, and without ityou've got nothing.
Rose Oates (48:27):
Yeah, so it is worth getting it checked.
And I always say yes, feel iton the first.
Yes, but you know what?
Feel it every night.
Yeah, all the time.
Feel it whenever you're in theshower.
Chrystal (48:37):
Get someone else to feel them.
Rose Oates (48:44):
Anything shower, get someone else to feel them,
anything get your new partnerhusband to give copper fuel.
They're not gonna say no.
No, they'll never say no.
Ash (48:47):
I'll be like do you just want?
Chrystal (48:48):
to know that we're looking properly for the right
thing, though do you just wantto check my breast ash?
Rose Oates (48:54):
do you want to leave us with any parting advice that
you could give to survivorslike getting, like diagnosed
early, anything to impart yourwisdom?
Ash (49:03):
I think the only thing that I can and that I want to
say is early detection changeseverything.
It's key.
If something is not right, getyourself checked.
You are the only person whowill know if something's not
right, no one else can feel itfor you.
And if you are about to startyour journey with chemotherapy,
(49:26):
I will not lie it is going to bethe single most horrific thing
you will ever do.
But you will come out on theother side.
You might lose your hair.
You might not, If you know,because usually the oncologist
will tell you if you're about tolose your hair or not.
If the drug will make you loseyour hair, Go get your eyebrows
tattooed, guys.
And ladies.
Yeah, Everybody Actually yeaheveryone.
(49:49):
Don't walk around withouteyebrows, it's a bit scary.
Chrystal (49:52):
But you never got to that point, right, you tattooed
before she tattooed.
Ash (49:54):
I tattooed right after my first chemotherapy.
Chrystal (49:57):
And they look great.
By the way, I would do that too.
Ash (50:00):
Because I didn't know how to draw my own eyebrows on yeah.
Rose Oates (50:03):
And take up the services they sound like they're
some amazing services andobviously, all these services
would be available in all thedifferent states.
Ash (50:10):
Correct, correct, all the different states.
And Cancer Council has so muchYep, they've got counselling
sessions, they've got the LookGood, feel, feel good.
(50:33):
I think I'm pretty sure it'sthrough cancer council as well.
They do so much work withpatients and with families as
well.
And if you need, if you need anetwork, there is a Facebook
page called Cancer ChicksAustralia okay that you can join
.
Rose Oates (50:39):
I love that.
We'll make sure that we takeall these details from you as
well.
So we'll put them in the shownotes, just in case.
Chrystal (50:44):
But also too cancer also gets men.
Ash (50:47):
Yes, absolutely.
Chrystal (50:49):
This is another thing that we also need.
Breast cancer gets men.
Yes, absolutely.
Rose Oates (50:52):
So if you've got breasts everybody, then check
your breasts, yes.
Ash (50:56):
Absolutely yeah, it's very important.
Chrystal (50:58):
Yeah, it's very important.
Ash (51:00):
Yeah.
So Cancer Chicks Australia isfor any female going through any
sort of cancer, whether you'vejust been diagnosed, whether
you're a survivor, and it issuch an amazing, brilliant
network of women that are therefor you at every second of the
day.
Rose Oates (51:22):
And it's probably good to have a community that
knows exactly what you're goingthrough.
Yes, so you can have friendsand family, but to have someone
that's either been through it,is going through it or is, on
the other side, correct To beable to ask questions.
Ash (51:32):
It's very different, and I remember just posting stuff on
there at like 12 midnight andsomeone already answered.
So it's such a great network.
They are amazingly supportivewomen.
I've got two super closefriends that I've made from the
network, one of who I metrecently when I went over to
(51:55):
Sydney.
Chrystal (51:55):
Yeah, ash, we have absolutely loved having you on.
Obviously, rose, and I know youquite well.
We've had this chat, but Ithink it was really important to
share with everybody at Bearingit All.
Thank you so much for having me, guys, and just check your
breasties.
Rose Oates (52:09):
Yes, Check your titties, your tatas, your
boyfriends boobies, get them tocheck, them Check them every
bloody shower.
Just give them a good loofah,touch them.
If it doesn't feel right, getthem checked out.
Look after your health.
But we are so like honoured tohave you on for you taking the
time today.
We will pop all of Ash'sdetails and all of the
(52:30):
recommendations she has sharedwith us today in the show notes.
But in the meantime, alwaystake care of yourselves and take
care of each other.
Chrystal (52:38):
Bye Ash, See you later.
Bye.
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