From Struggles to Strength: The Journey of Chandni Sahrawat

What does it take to go from standing outside the principal’s office for failing school exams… to becoming the founding director of two of New Zealand’s most innovative restaurants… and now, a transformative coach reshaping lives?

In this deeply moving and powerful episode of Baskets of Knowledge, we sit down with Chandni Sahrawat , entrepreneur, advocate, and coach  to unpack a life story that will stay with you.

-  From surviving societal pressure and a cry for help in her teenage years…
- To arriving alone in New Zealand with no accommodation, no support, and no plan B…
- To reshaping how Aotearoa views Indian food, migrant rights, and female entrepreneurship…

Chand’s story is one of grit, reinvention, and radical authenticity.

Whether you know her through her leadership at Cassia, Sidart, or her new chapter in transformational coaching, this episode will make you rethink what success really looks like and why work-life balance is a myth.

Key Learnings:

✅ Your past doesn’t define your future  even if you’ve hit rock bottom
✅ There’s power in starting from the bottom (yes, she started as a hostess in her own restaurant)
✅ True leadership means being in the trenches with your team
✅ Burnout is real  and recognising it early is a superpower
✅ You don’t need to “have it all figured out” to take the next step

But perhaps the most important takeaway?

You don’t have to wait for a crisis to do something meaningful.

Chand reminds us that we all have potential  even if we can’t see it yet. And that the right mentor, the right moment, or the right mindset shift can change your life.

#BasketsOfKnowledge #ChandniSahrawat #PodcastNZ #WomenInLeadership #Entrepreneurship #MigrantVoices 

Episode Transcript

(00:04):
Hey everybody, it's Prajesh here.
In Tana here. Welcome to our podcast Passes of
Knowledge chats with a difference.
In our podcast, we invite guestsfrom around the country and
around the world to talk about how they got to where they're at
the moment. It's about a journey, it's about
an experience, it's about their life.

(00:26):
Good to go to everybody. Welcome to another episode of
Baskets of Knowledge. Hopefully everyone's keeping
warm. If you're in New Zealand or the
Southern hemisphere and if you're up north, hopefully
you're enjoying the sunshine andthe European summer or wherever
you are living at the moment. As always, I'd like to share
something that I have put into my basket of knowledge over the
last week. And the one thing that I, I put

(00:49):
into my basket of knowledge overthe last week was basically the
concept of, of play, of play. You know, what I talk about play
is that how many times in our lives as adults, we just forget
about playing. You know, as a, as a, as a
child, we play, you learn from play, get to do some really cool
things. And yesterday I went to a, a
seminar and they just said, Hey,adults, let's play.

(01:11):
And it was interesting seeing how people were so apprehensive
playing, you know, you have all these adults going, how do I
play? Have you forgotten how to play?
So we might be learning is how do we introduce play into our
life just because you want to play as opposed to ticking a
tick box. Yeah.
So that was my learning into my basket of knowledge.
But it's not about me today. If you want to hear about me,
jump onto the other platforms. But here we talk here to talk

(01:34):
about, talk to our guests. And as always, you know, we
scour the country and scour the world to find people that we
think we're interesting. We think everyone's interesting
and everyone has a story to tell.
And today it's someone that I I knew about, but I didn't know
about. Or has that actually been?
So you know, there's people out there that are doing stuff in
the background and there's some pretty cool things.
And then just randomly, because as you all know, we love

(01:56):
LinkedIn. And this person appeared on my
LinkedIn feed a few maybe a few weeks ago and I was like, whoa,
this person has got an amazing story to tell.
And not just as a person story, but but their life story as
well. Reached out, jumped on and here
they are. And we are very privileged, very
honoured to invite the exciting open book Tell Me the Shift.

(02:19):
No, no holds Bad Chand. Welcome to the podcast.
Thank you for having me. Fantastic chant for both who
don't know anything about you. Who is Chance tonight on June
the 19th? Is a very tired mum getting
ready to and an entrepreneur trying to pack her bags to
Europe. But just, you know, that last

(02:39):
leg hustling and trying to get everything done before you set
off. So that's me today at 7:00 PM.
Keeping it real, keeping it realexactly because that's who you
are. You know, people talk about
their titles and their labels and da, da, da.
But hey, as you said, you're a tired mum that's looking forward
to your holiday. But to get to that, you've got
to hustle. You've got hustle.

(03:00):
And if we, this is you today. But if we rewind and talk about
when you first moved to New Zealand and if someone said to
you when you first actually let's go back, a lot of I'm in
New Zealand. If someone said to you when you
were growing up that hey, in 2025, this is where you'd be
what we have said to them. I would have a hard time
believing it because I think growing up I am a an only child

(03:26):
and I had a really low self esteem and low confidence
because I was not the kid that did well at school.
I was the kid who stood outside the principal's office and was
getting told off for failing math and geometry.
If you failed 3 subjects, you stood outside the principal's
office to get the report card. And that was me.

(03:47):
I was not an academic. My, you know, the society kept
telling me that you're not good at academics.
And in India, that was that becomes a very big part of your
identity. Everything is all about how well
your child does. So that was the pressure on me.
So I was not performing under that pressure.
And yeah, just really lack self-confidence.

(04:08):
Try to commit suicide as a teenager.
Been there, done that, so reallydidn't think I'd even make it to
adulthood. So if someone told me where I
am, I would be like, ah, you're joking, I can't be me.
Yeah, Isn't, isn't that crazy, the stories we tell ourselves?
And I'm actually quite glad thatyou were unsuccessful.
So you did that, but you didn't really do it.
So it's great. Yes, yes, right here today.

(04:30):
And as we think about that and you reflect on that and you
think about where you've come from and where you are right
now, there's been lots and lots of learnings.
But before we go into those learnings there, you know, as a
young person, you said you were feeling no self esteem and no
confidence. You tried to take your life.
And when you were unsuccessful, did were you?
Was it when we should actually, why am I doing this?
And then go, wait a minute. There's more to life than all

(04:52):
the noise that I have that comesfrom society and culture.
It was just a cry for help. I reckon when I look back at it,
because over time I've, that's probably one of the reasons I've
been really interested in psychology was to try and
understand where that behaviour came from and what motivated it.
And as I know that most people who do take this, their lives,

(05:19):
you know, take, have a serious attempt at taking the life will
use more drastic means. And I didn't use drastic means.
So that was more for a cry of help saying, look, this
pressure, I'm not coping well with this.
This society is probably not moulding me into the person I
want to be or should be. So please help me.
And that's essentially what it was because after I attempted to

(05:43):
take my life, the first thing I did was call a friend, phone a
friend and say, I don't think I've done the right thing here,
Save me. So what's more about a plea for
help? And I think there are a lot of
youth who are there who probablylistening to this.
It's a phase you go through. So people do love you no matter

(06:03):
what they say. So there is a place in society
for you, it's just that you don't know where it is yet.
You have. You're just trying to find
yourself and if you need the help, ask for it before taking
drastic steps that that may not be reversible.
I was really fortunate that it was a reversible step.

(06:23):
I think that that's important that, you know, because you
know, life is not a bit of roses, as you said before we
started recording. And we have to accept the fact
that sometimes life is going to throw us some curve balls and
we're going to feel down and out.
But we're never alone. Even though we think we're
alone, we're never actually alone in that moment.
And as you said, you called the friend and just reaching out,

(06:45):
even though you might feel alonewhen you're reaching out,
somebody out there will listen and you know, we'll help you
help you through that there, which was, you know, the way,
the way people love to see see those situations there to you.
You did your childhood and when did you move to New Zealand?
I moved here when I was 17, so Ihad just finished year 12.

(07:07):
In India, we don't have year 13,so I finished my year 12 and my
parents and I, we all were on the same page that I needed to
get out of there. I was a feminist.
I was getting myself into trouble because I was driving.
I was able to drive that, you know, ride a bike and I was
challenging male stereotypes. Why can the boys stay out and

(07:31):
party? Why can I not do that?
I'm not OK with that at all. Why are they these stereotypes?
If I'm dating, why can I not date openly?
This is, we're talking about India in 2000 and one and two,

(07:51):
which is not what India is now, let's be clear.
But back then it was still quitea traditional society.
And I was challenging all the stereotypes.
And it was probably my parents probably realized this wasn't
the safest place for me to continue my growth.
And they invested in me, which I'm really thankful for because

(08:13):
sending your child overseas was quite the cool thing to do then,
but no one was sending their daughter to do an arts degree to
New Zealand. And having never even you don't
know anyone in New Zealand and you've never heard anything
about the educational system in 2002, investing 50K for your
daughter to go have an international education in an

(08:35):
arts degree. Because everyone sent their kids
to be computer engineers, accountants, doctors.
And those were not my colleaguesand they were, they were not my
profession. And I wasn't getting the marks
to do that. So I'm really grateful that my
parents actually believed in me and invested in me and said this
is the right thing for her. And.

(08:56):
And how new? Why New Zealand?
I mean, you know, as you said before, it's, it's not the, it's
a bit like me when I'm in New Zealand.
So they're like, why are you going to New Zealand?
All the places in the world because everyone either goes to
the States or to UK that that toor Canada.
And then you're like New Zealand, like why would you go
there? Those are the questions I was
asked many years ago. So yeah, couple of reasons.

(09:18):
I looked at prospectuses of every top university that
someone dreams of, like Harvard,Oxford.
I looked at Australian universities.
For some reason the University of Auckland really jumped out at
me and I had that as a goal, theprospectus sitting on my desk.

(09:41):
Other reasons. The plan was always that my
parents would fall and Australiawas at the time going through
some immigration changes, so we would move here as a family,
whereas New Zealand seemed more flexible.
And then I also sat my SA TS. Something just didn't click for

(10:02):
America. I had cousins there.
I had been through a sexual abuse under in India and that
had stayed with me. And I just wanted to go as far
away physically from India and the culture.
So I literally was like, oh, that's Australia, what's that
island below it? It's in another country.

(10:24):
What are the chances that I'm going to find peace here?
Lot too far away from India. It takes 18 hours to even get
here. I don't have any cousins, I
don't have any family. I wanted a fresh start, so New
Zealand seemed to be the right place.
And University of Auckland, for some reason the universe was
telling me that that's the placeI had to be.
Oh yeah, that's that. I love that.
I love, I love that for so many reasons.
Because as you said, the stereotypical degrees of

(10:47):
engineering doctors and trying to get away as far away as
possible. And there's no way further than
New Zealand, unless you go to Antarctica.
And because there's no university, you wouldn't go
there, right? Otherwise you're like, send me
to Antarctica. So that's, that's pretty cool.
And when you landed in New Zealand, and I, I'm going to ask
this question because when I landed, I came from Africa, I
came from Zimbabwe and I landed in, I landed in Taneda.

(11:09):
And I was like, where have I come?
Because I landed in a pedicon. I was like, the plane landed.
I'm like, Oh, there's a pedicure, there's cows, there's
sheep and everything shut by like 5:00.
Then I was like, what is going on here?
What have I done? What is it like for you?
Because obviously India is next level sensory overload.
I honestly picked up the phone and cried after a week and

(11:31):
called my parents and said I want to come back home.
We're talking because this is the age before.
Like we still were on dial up Internet.
Sending a text message was like $2.00 to India in 2002.
When I came, it was the middle of winter.
I did not understand why it's going to be really cold.
When I arrived for my degree, there was no international

(11:56):
pastoral care program at that time from the University of
Auckland. Nobody came to pick me up.
I had missed orientation week and the first night there was no
one was at the airport to pick me up.
So I was like what the hell do Ido?
So I was calling India from the pay phone going I don't know
what to do now. And my parents said just

(12:20):
accommodation. We don't know why your agent
hasn't organized anything. So I was pretty much on my own
and then I got a call saying youneed to go to this place called
Choice Plaza on Wellesley St. It is a Chinese looking weird
hall of residence back in the day.
It still exists and it has. I've got trauma with that

(12:42):
building on Queen Bellesley St. because I woke up the first
night jet lagged and didn't. It was a shared bathroom
scenario, something we're not used to in India.
Literally. I've grown with a grown up with
an en suite. Came down the stairwell and I
was in my pyjamas at 4:00 AM on Queen St. unable to get back

(13:03):
into the building. So it was very traumatizing and
this was the age before Internet.
So like finding my way to the university instead of going up
the road to the university on Wellesley St. to find University
of Auckland. I ended up on K Rd. which does
not buy myself a map and then figure out how to get from one

(13:28):
place to the other. Walking, you couldn't use your
phone to find yourself find yourway.
It was very scary. So the first week I just wanted
to go home and my parents said give it one term and stick for
one term. And also there is shame in
failing. There is a lot of shame in

(13:51):
failing and going back that you know for more than a week.
So I gave myself the for a term.You can get get through one term
of this, you can make it to December and then go home.
And I didn't want to then I was like, this is comfortable, I'm

(14:11):
happy. I needed to just give it time.
Yeah. And and you know, as, as you
say, it's when you're uncomfortable and it's an
uncomfortable growth happens, but it's so easy for us to say,
hi, this is too hard. I'm coming home.
And it's I'm so glad your parents back.
Just, you know, one day, one day.
And Tana, you had the same sort of experience when you came to
Zenith as well. You're not leaving Taranaki as
well. Yeah, definitely.

(14:35):
I think it was a huge adjustmentto go down and, you know, move
away from family, friends and yeah, step away from it also.
I think it really was just sticking it out and also
challenging myself to meet new people, talk to new people.
And it does take time, I think is the other thing to realize.
I think here you're sometimes naively going to those kinds of

(14:55):
chapters thinking everything will just unfold the way you
want it to or, you know, you kind of just think it will
happen. But I think sometimes, yeah,
you've got to be proactive, but also sometimes it just naturally
takes time to. Yeah, integrate into a new.
Yeah, into a new way of living that's.
So true, but I have, I have a lot because you grew up in the

(15:18):
world with mobile phones. Chand and I grew up in the
world. We had to wait on pay phones.
You know, I, I just resonate so much with your story there when
you had to find a phone card to try and call home and you're
like, oh, where's the phone card?
And then it cuts off to 30 seconds.
Like there goes my money. What a what a crazy, crazy time.
And the world has changed so dramatically since and as you
said, in so many different ways.One thing I was reading before I

(15:42):
jumped on you is that when you were in in Pune, you were you
were a foodie. Well, you've always been a
foodie. A foodie has been part of your
life in so many different ways. Is that and two questions, I
guess. Has food always been part of
your life because of family? And also the fact earlier on you
mentioned that you were a bit ofA use the word rebel because it
was not this the norm in India for a female to do the things

(16:03):
that you did. Do they come from you or do they
come from other parts of your family that were like, hey, you
know what, We're just going to give this young person a
different experience. My parents, I think they are to
blame because they raised me very liberal.
So then into for them having these traditional society views

(16:32):
and they've raised this child tobe a liberal thinker.
For example, my dad never restricted me in the clothes I
wore, so he would go and buy me short skirts.
But when I went to college, there would be boys teasing me
about wearing those short skirts.
Now while my dad was there, he would be my protector.

(16:55):
He'd be this guy going my daughter can wear whatever.
But when I'm in my on my own, that does not compute in society
because there's this boy if teasing me saying well, can you
not afford clothes or calling menames?
But my parents have told me a girl can wear whatever she
wants. They have raised me liberally.

(17:15):
So I I had these clashing valueshappening all the time.
The foodie bit is my mom. She loves cooking.
She would go travel, come back and bring recipes back.
She went to America and she learned how to make tacos and
then she try and recreate tacos from scratch.
So I was always into let's try this, let's eat that.

(17:36):
And then there was a joke in my family.
First they said, oh, are you going to go and become a chef?
I was like, no, I only like the eating part.
I don't want to actually cook it.
I can, I like cooking a little bit, but I can't imagine cooking
the same dish over and over and over again.
There's nothing fun in that. There's no joy in that.

(17:56):
And so then they started teasingme that I'm going to marry a
chef. That was a self fulfilling
prophecy. Isn't that crazy how that
happened? But I love, I love I was, I was
smiling because as you're saying, why would you want to
cook the same thing over and over and over again when you can
eat so many different things in the same amount of time that
you're cooking? Why would you do that?

(18:17):
That's so, so entertaining. And so you went to the
University of Auckland and what does that generate for you as
you started navigating that because now you were not living
in the stereotypical world of India in that time, you have
found this where we, and I'm guessing in comparison, New
Zealand as a liberal place and you're allowed to not be who you
are. You know, after the two years
have gone and now you're comfortable.

(18:37):
What does that like for you in terms of your growth?
I I honestly say education was my ticket out of India and my
ticket to finding myself and my ticket to building my identity.
It was just everything. And like I said, I was not very
academic in India. Coming to New Zealand, the first
semester I failed miserably While I was doing English and

(19:03):
because I'd missed out on the choices of the subjects, I got
English. But I got women's studies as
well, which I had no idea what women's studies was.
So here I was taking all these funky subjects, but they were
opening my mind up. But I did not understand.
In India, the academics are rote, learning what the teacher
says is right. There's no critical thinking

(19:25):
allowed, which is why I didn't flourish in that academic
system. I had to relearn everything
because I was just reading booksand reading going.
This is the right answer. I was not thinking critically.
One of my essays I remember was.What is the?

(19:46):
Significance of blood in shakingand writing all the references
to the word blood or any reference to blood in
Shakespeare. And they said that's not what
the question is about. And so I had to relearn, go to a
university and get extra help from my tutors, my professors,
and go, this is how you research, this is how you write
references. And that was a whole different
way. And they're like, we're not

(20:06):
looking. For the right answer, we're
looking at why you think this isthe right answer, as long as you
can back it up. That's right.
I'm like, whoa, I've never been told I'm right about anything.
So this is great. I can argue.
So it was, it was eye opening and I started doing well
academically to the point that when I left university, I became

(20:31):
a teacher. And that was the last thing I
thought I would ever be back in a school when I'm used to being
in the principal's office. Nobody, my even my favorite
teacher would have thought that I'd go back to school and be a
teacher. But that was the journey and and
and this. Is why I think it's interesting
because you know, I was smiling at the start when you were like,

(20:51):
you always answer the principal's office, but then you
ended up being being an educator, you know, isn't that
crazy how life works? So it's.
Interesting because I was in when I became a teacher.
I was teaching at Rangitoto College, 3 1/2 thousand
students, predominantly white, Asian.

(21:12):
Most of the faculty reflects thedemographic and I'm teaching
English as an Indian to Kiwi kids like crazy.
It is. Yeah, crazy.
But it's I mean that that that alone says quite a bit, you
know, as you were there doing the teaching of English in a

(21:35):
European country as an immigrant, as an immigrant, as
an immigrant. Yeah.
And and why the classroom? What are you back to the
classroom? You know, as you said, you know,
you're quite surprised, you know, was that the when you
finished your undergrad? Did you go I don't want to be a
teacher or because the reason I asked that question is because
no teaching is a is a poll something pulled into teaching.

(21:58):
Yes. Was intrigued by psychology.
So I have a double major in my Bachelor of Arts with psychology
and English. And I felt that I wanted to
really obviously coming, becoming an adolescent, moving
to New Zealand, having this transition and transformation

(22:20):
and assimilation, I was like, how can I use what I have been
through to help others? And at that time the draw was
what they're going through rightnow is a transition period.
It is not permanent. And to not give up on themselves

(22:43):
and give them some guidance. So I said, how do I do that now?
You cannot equate education in India to education in New
Zealand. It is totally different.
I had learned that from my university that it is not
comparable. I just felt that you cannot help
someone in a particular system if you do not understand that

(23:06):
system. So since I had not been a
student in New Zealand, I would not be able to be a school
counsellor without knowing the education system and what these
kids are going through. So I said, well, I've got the
other half of my major, which isEnglish.
Let's use that to get into the school system, understand what

(23:27):
the students are going through, and then see if I can actually
change paths into becoming a school counsellor once I
understand the pressures of thissystem.
But life had other plans, yeah. We had other plans and and I
love that because you know, a lot of the times you you can't,
you can't change the system unless you understand the
system. You know, when you're outside

(23:48):
into a system, it's the system is going to have so much
friction and that's in any part of life, right?
And you know, which is why before we started, we spoke
about the power of coaching, because the coachings you work
in the system, you're not working against the system.
So again, it's awesome that you do that there.
But I want to touch on somethingthat, you know, you mentioned
the word counselling and when I was doing some reading about
you, a person that popped up a few times was someone called
system Monica. Is that someone that's been an

(24:09):
influential put in your well in your in your life?
Yeah, she was my school principal that I was standing
outside the door of, and she literally threatened that, look,
if you don't pull your socks up and hustle, you're going to be
sitting here next year with me as an administrator in my

(24:31):
office. And she made head her personal
mission to make sure that I passed and I got out of school
and I went to college and she would take that in.
She was the only one who actually believed and would call
me before the board exams every night just to see how I was.

(24:54):
I was one of her thousands of students.
In year 10, we probably had 200 plus students.
So for her to pick up that phoneevery night before my board exam
and then she showed up at the testing centre in the morning

(25:15):
off my math exam and said you'regoing to nail this.
And it's just faith. Having one person have that
faith besides your parents is just amazing.
So I really, you know, thank her.
She was a nun, but she was also an educator.
She just, it brings me to tears because such people are hard to

(25:37):
find in life. And if I had, that was my, you
know, goal. I was like, if I can make that
difference in one person's life,then life is worth living.
Not giving up SO. Profound.
I mean, I can see the emotion itbrings in you.
And what I love about that is because is it goes back to what
you said before, you just need one person to believe in you.
And here's the crazy thing, in every one of our podcasts, all

(25:59):
161 of them, every one of them has said there's been one person
that's believed in them, one person that has believed in
whatever stage of life it is. And it's changed the whole
trajectory and, and same thing, you know, the emotion, you know,
I think I've had that in my life.
I'm sure Tana has that hope. Tana has had someone in life has
done that day. If not, then we failed.

(26:20):
Yeah, it's really, really beautiful to hear that.
And again, to those listings, this podcast, you find that one
person, you know, look through your thing.
There's that one person that said those few words that I've
just and as you said, come to your given you the call, dropped
your text in the in the modern age, maybe sent you a meme or
something just to keep you going.
That's really, really beautiful.So thank you for sharing that
because I know that person is really, really important in your
will and I wish I could. Connect with her all the time.

(26:44):
But you know, she is now high upin the Roman Catholic Church in
Rome. So I'm hoping when I'm at the
Vatican, she'll just pop out. You're like, hey, you.
Never know. Given.
The way your life has gone, faith throws all these
interesting stories away. You never know.
You never know exactly talking about faith.

(27:04):
And you use an interesting word,hustle there.
And I'm going to come to hustle because what you've been doing
over the last few years has beenliving the hustle world
essentially. And I, and I used the word
hustle, not likely, but in a way, in a positive way because
your husband runs all these amazing restaurants and he's the
face, but the Indian house has been, has been you.
How does that, how does that, how does that feel for you

(27:24):
watching your husband grow in a positive way?
And you are there doing, seeing the growth of not, not the
reason I'm going to put this wayis because it's not just Indian
food, because you need to think about Indian food.
And here's a bit of a segue. When I'm, I had never heard of
butter chicken in my life until I moved to New Zealand.
I don't know what that was. So anyone moved to New Zealand,
I was like, what is butter chicken devoted in my life?
You know, growing up in an Indian home, they're like, what

(27:46):
are you talking about? And you know, you've taken a
concept that is so different andyou've run the, you know, you've
got your arts degree, you've done teaching, you've done the
counselling, and now you're running these amazing
businesses. What is that switch like for
you? It it was a lifestyle switch and
that's what I say. My career has never been a

(28:06):
straight line. I wish some people have amazing
careers going straight. I want to be a surgeon and I'm
going to be a surgeon and now I earn more and more and more each
other. Great, amazing.
It's never been linear for me. And that's not something maybe
me as a Sagittarian wants eitherbecause I am someone who gets

(28:27):
bored pretty often. I never wanted a desk job.
I always knew what I didn't want.
I wanted interest in life. And when I was a teacher, I
reached a point where we wanted to have kids.
And I knew instantly that that'sgoing to be hard because Sid was

(28:50):
starting. We started our first restaurant,
and it was he was coming home at1:00 AM.
Yeah, two, AMI was a teacher. I had the responsibility of
educating 120 kids. So when you add a child in the

(29:11):
mix, I felt like a solo parent and I felt like I was not being
fair on these 120 kids because Iwasn't giving them now my 100%
and neither was I being fair on my child because like other
women who are in teaching, sometimes if your husband comes
home at 5:00, you can share duties of cooking, you can share
the childcare duties. You've got 2 parents running the

(29:34):
house. I was trying to do it all on my
own and I was like, this is justnot fair.
So I went back to teaching and Iworked at Howard College for a
couple of terms and then I, it was just a fixed term role and
they offered me a full time roleand I said, you know what?
No, I'm consciously making the decision that this is not right

(29:55):
for my family, This is not fair on the kids I'm teaching.
So I'm going to choose somethingelse.
And I said to say it at the time, we were looking up at all
these amazing restauranteurs coming up and I said, you see,
the one thing that I see about all of these people is they're
couples, they're working together.
Now I've got the business background because my parents

(30:16):
have been in business and I'm a Gujarati.
We're known for being ruthless business.
We show, aren't we? Yeah.
So I said I got that in the blood.
You are a Punjabi creative guy, let's join forces and let me I'm
open to learning. So I literally, he started me

(30:39):
off as a Hostess. I used to stand downstairs with
an iPad welcoming people and that was a really alien for
people because in Australia and in international Michelin star
restaurants, you have a Hostess,but in New Zealand we have a
very casual vibe, even in fine dining is not as serious as it
is overseas. So they used to be like, is this

(30:59):
all you do? And I'm like, no, I own the
restaurant with my husband and Ihad my staff teach me and I was
just like, you know, like we hada manager and she'd be like, no,
the jugs need to have the handles facing this way.
You need to fold the triangles in the toilet paper like this.
So I learned everything from my managers.
I didn't know anything about hospitality besides that.

(31:22):
I liked eating good food. I knew what the customer
experience was, and I had a business mind.
The rest I just learned. So that's how I got drawn into
hospitality and running businesses with Sid.
And we we looked at what was happening with Indian food.
And in 2002, three, 4-5, we justfelt like there was the

(31:46):
stereotypical $12.00 butter chicken with orange sauce with
three pieces of chicken in a plastic box for $12.00 with an
iron and rice. That was the definition,
stereotypical definition of Indian food and we hated it.
And that's not what it is like in India.
So we decided that that was a challenge to try and change it.
Isn't it crazy? It's it's not like any like I

(32:06):
grew up in Africa. You would never find Balajic in
the like. What are you talking about?
When you go to South Africa, bigin your population and you say
the word Balajic like what it is?
It's just crazy. You know, as as you said, and
then it's only the western world, you go right.
And this is suddenly it's so different.
But what I loved about your story right there is you started
right from being the Hostess andyou're like, Hey, I don't know
what I'm doing, but I'm here andI'm going to learn from the

(32:27):
people that know because sometimes we don't.
Our egos don't necessarily have some people have egos and
they're like, no, no, no, no, I need I'm here before.
I'm not going to not have to fold a toilet paper triangle.
No, it's. I think we've always had that
ethos in our business and to this day I respect Seed for it.
He will clean with the chefs, hedoes not.

(32:50):
We do not expect any of our staff to do something that we're
not prepared to do. So when we ask them in COVID to
start delivery, we were with theteam wearing masks, hand
delivering takeaways. Because if we're asking them to
put themselves out there, we're doing the same for ourselves.
Yeah. And that that speaks a lot for

(33:13):
for both of you that you know, it's not, it's not about the
hierarchy. It's not such thing as
hierarchy. It's how we we're in this
together. And also, when you say it
together, I mean, I loved, I loved how you looked at the
common, the common reason why restaurants are successful.
They're coupling. And when you have two people,
things become so different because you, you bounce off each

(33:37):
other. Yeah, because you play.
To your strengths, you Yeah, yes, You bounce off each other.
You. I figured the best way to do
that is if you stay in your lane.
So I never told Sid what to put on the menu until COVID, Yeah,
when I had to maybe, like, cool.Things are changing now I need
you to. Put it in a box.
Yeah. And that's when the arguments

(33:58):
start because I don't tell him how to cook.
What to cook. That's his department.
Yeah. But running the businesses,
you're like, hey, this is the business now.
Things changed a little bit. Yeah, Yeah.
And then we won't go down that because that's a different story
altogether, you know, with the restaurants and you know, you're
here to talk about your story. And one of the things that I
really, really am drawn to aboutyour story is your voice for

(34:20):
migrant workers. We do that.
We do that come from. And I see that because I've seen
recently so few days where actually I read a post yesterday
about the India crash, which is really sad.
And, you know, but the rhetoric around there is really quite sad
about, you know, the nasty things that people are saying

(34:41):
about, about people from India. And how is it like, what is it
like for you as an immigrant? And then now you see how
sometimes or not sometimes a lotof the employers in New Zealand
take advantage of migrants in somany different ways.
It's very. Sad.
And at the same time I feel likemedia brush pain stereotypes

(35:07):
helps with that. And so for a long time, actually
until the last election, I have been vocal about migrant rights.
But at the same time I distancedmyself from the Indian community
after coming here. And National asked me to come to
a summit pre election. And I stood there and I said

(35:27):
look, the reason? I feel really like an outsider
in this room full of Indian people in Papa Toy toy at the
Swaminarayan Mandir while I'm we're having this conference and
you're asking me to speak. It's because I have government
policy. Media have all painted this
picture that restauranteurs who are Indian are exploiting other

(35:53):
Indian migrants. There are bad eggs in every
profession, every industry, everywhere here.
But for some reason, we have taken this view and so Sid and I
have kept ourselves away and it's cost us a lot because we've
missed out on those connections with our community.

(36:14):
We've missed out on that part ofour identity.
And I am slowly learning that I can't deny it, that I'm Indian.
I, I'm now taking tours to Indiawith people because it brings me
a lot of joy to now rediscover my own country and how beautiful
it is where I'm born. I don't call it home anymore,
but I still have family there, Istill have connection with that

(36:37):
place and I can't, no matter howmuch I say I don't see colour, I
am Indian. I'm going to own it.
It's part of my identity. I do love a good Curry.
I I own an Indian restaurant, soI've got to check my own self.
A lot of times going, I can't dothis to my own community either.

(36:59):
I need to connect back for my own good.
And so I stood there and I said that to them and I said we've
got to change the perception because there are good people in
our community. There are great restauranteurs
in our community. There are great employers in our
community. Let's celebrate those and go,
then go and make an example of the ones who are not doing the
job, who are exploiting people and educate the people coming as

(37:24):
well, which they've started. I'm really excited that they now
have made it an obligation that,you know, people coming from
India need to know minimum wage so that they're not becoming
part of the problem. Sometimes people from there also
are like, here's everything I just want to get out of here.
Well, that's not paying money isthe easy way to get out of
India. There's something really dodgy

(37:46):
if you're doing that, if you're coming here on merit education
to build yourself a better life that will be long term and
sustainable. So both sides, I think you can't
just blame one side of the coin.You have to blame both sides.
When I first came here, there was no law that allowed you in
your holidays to work beyond 20 hours, 20 hours.

(38:08):
Yeah, it was very strict, even if it it was termed like four
months. What do you do?
You can't survive over your Christmas period with 20 hours.
So yes, I worked under the table.
Saturday, Saturday and. What I got paid, Yeah.
I got paid $8 under the table after tax and I 30-40 hours and

(38:31):
I still managed to do my university stuff.
And that was, you know, both sides were to play because that
was a government policy that gotchanged later on.
But you made it so that people broke the rules because it was
an unrealistic policy that there's no university time
happening and people are having to earn money to and survive.

(38:58):
So I, I, I think there's not oneperson to blame.
I think there's a whole lot of people.
And I think when you get all stakeholders and have an open
conversation, and I've been veryhonest and I've said I, I don't
care who's in government, I don't support one party over the
other. I really question policy.

(39:18):
So. If policy is wrong, I don't live
in, we live in a democracy. So therefore if I'm going to
vote, I have a right to say whatI want.
Somebody doesn't like it, challenge me.
I'm open to being challenged anddiscussing and telling you my
viewpoint and hearing your viewpoint.
And that's what we, that's what we hear, right?

(39:39):
We're in a, in a democracy where, you know, it's not about,
it's, it's, it's about the person.
You know, at the end of the day,you know how whatever we're
doing is, it's right for the masses.
And I, I was running a workshop a few weeks ago and it was
about, it's about anti racism. And one of the things we speak
about is systemic racism or systemic, the way the system

(40:01):
allows these things to happen. And you know, we just, we, we
blame. But as you said before.
If the system perpetuates this this ongoing, then something's
going to change. Because if we think about it,
someone's just planked the rulesof the system.
So you can't say that it's theirfault because they're OK.
This is what the system say I should do.
So I'm either going to do it or I'm going to break the system

(40:22):
and just make it happen. So I love the way you put that
there. That's, you know, no one to
blame And I, I. Think people who have a platform
and the first time I spoke aboutit was when we actually, it was
Labour was talking, it was election year, Labour was
talking about changing the threshold for people or to get

(40:43):
to something like 75 K when the economy was around, you know,
median wage was 60 K, but they wanted to increase it to pay
migrants. And I said, you know, this that
level, we're not going to have any shares.
Our workforce was 50% migrants in Cassia.
And I was like, yeah, I'm going to have to send all these people
back. I do not see how I can sustain
my business. Let's just go back to selling

(41:04):
fish and chips. If you guys don't love your
Indian, Korean naan and the evolution of where food has come
in 10 years with places like Cassia, it's all well and good
to give us the best restaurant of the year award by the mayor.
And I challenged the mayor on stage and I said here is a
platform. Half this room before this has
been telling me that this is unfair, that they're all going

(41:27):
to be impacted, so what's the point of me getting an award for
a restaurant I may not even havebecause the restaurant is
because of the people? And.
Half, half a restaurant ain't going to run itself with half
the staff. So if I've got the platform,
just saying thank you and walking off the stage is not
really any solution. And I think people who have

(41:50):
platforms who have that voice need to actually stand for
something. Because if you're choosing, if
you choose not to stand for something, you stand for
nothing. As it's a silence is a choice,
silence is a choice, especially when you are in, in that sea of
influence, right? And this is your world.
You live it, you breathe it, you, you stand there and you

(42:10):
just go ahead. Thanks a lot.
And then, you know, as you said,people, people are the most
important thing in the whole wide world.
And, and This is why I just loved what you, what you brought
and you brought out there because at the end of the day,
people that don't have voices need someone to have voices for
them because they're afraid. You know what?
I remember when I came and I really raged to what you said
when I was working under, you know, under the table, getting

(42:31):
paid cash, I was always feared. What if I get caught?
You know, if I get caught, then I'm going to be sent back home.
And I have to be able to survivehere.
I have to. I mean, you're, you're an
international student and you know how crazy the fees are.
And, you know, all your rights are very minimal.
So you've got to get that $8 job, then work 50 hours a week
or 60 hours a week. And what if I get caught?
Then what happens? Yeah.

(42:53):
So no, it's really, really. It's the weight on your shoulder
until you get residence, yeah. That's right.
That's right. And now you've shifted a little
bit and you're now doubling the world of footing because you
said you like psychology, you said you love working with
people. What's what's shift?
What's made you shift into this world here?

(43:15):
So what the last two years have been what I call fine, figuring
out what I want to do Yes, I wasreally burnt out after our
restaurant Cassia, it was in Fort Lane underground, got
flooded for the second time in two years.
So we had one flooding in 2022, January.
And then in 2023 when the big floods happened, we just could

(43:39):
not come out of it. The whole place was gone and it
was heartbreaking and it was a process of grief.
But also the same time, I didn'thave time to grieve for that
place because I had the burden of all the staff, the brand, the
people who loved Cassia, and I had to find it a good home.
Sid and I had to find hustle to find a good home for it.

(44:01):
And we found that home very quickly with Sky City literally
a month later. For one month we ran pop ups and
then we found it at Sky City. I made a deal with Sky City.
I need all our staff employed within 8 weeks otherwise the
deals off the table. So they said OK we will try and

(44:23):
do that. So I really worked hard with Sid
and we brought our stuff along on the journey.
We didn't even lose 1 stuff in that transition.
Everyone moved to City and we were, you know it took a lot out
of me because it was a over $1,000,000 claim as well.
And so while I got that place set up, I was still dealing with

(44:43):
financial, insurance, all of that operational stuff.
That was my responsibility and Ifelt really burnt out at the end
of it. COVID had happened.
I'd had one massive burnout during COVID and I could see the
signs again. And I was like, I'm edging
towards that Cliff and I don't want to be in that ambulance
again. So I took a week off.

(45:05):
I put myself on annual leave, which I had never done.
And I just sat at home and I knit and I watched Netflix and
people thought I'd gone local, but I was just trying to figure
out what's next. And I came to the conclusion
that just because you're good atsomething and it is part of your
identity now doesn't mean you can't be passionate about

(45:28):
something else and you can't be good at something else.
I just didn't know what that looked like or felt like or what
it was. So I wrote down every single
thing that I've felt like I was that motivated me.
And one of the things that motivated me quite a bit was
education, psychology and doing good in the community.

(45:50):
So I had been, I'm under 40, under 40 for the University of
Auckland because of using our businesses to raise funds for
oxygen concentrators in India during COVID.
Before that were raised about 120 K for the Christchurch
mosque massacre. So I'd always been looking for

(46:10):
something bad to happen, to do something good to use the
restaurants. They said why do I have to keep
waiting for the next disaster? Why don't I look at these
different things and try figuring out what's next?
So I started dating CEOs is whatI call it.
I started going and having networking meetings with CEOs

(46:34):
and having coffees and just going, do you want to catch up
for a coffee? University of Auckland, I used
to speak, I speak quite like with them because as an alumni,
they invited me to speak to the next cohort and I said to the
careers advisor there that you probably won't want me next year
because I'm quitting being an entrepreneur.
I'm looking for a job. And she said what?
And she's like, send me your CVS.

(46:56):
I said sure, here's my CV. And she said, right, you are
scaring people when you apply. I said, what do you mean I'm
scaring people? She said, because they see
you've been self-employed, you're this, this, this and
this. You've got these many awards.
They don't, they think you're like literally taking the piss
applying for a job. I'm like, but why would I sit
there applying for a job if I didn't want it?

(47:20):
I felt a little bit like, why are people judging me?
Because I've been self-employed and now I want a job.
I just want a nine to five for abit.
So she said no, the way to do itis reach out on LinkedIn.
I'm going to connect to you withsome people who go and have
coffees. And I did that.
And I met Arlene Rayner who is the CEO of Breast Cancer
Foundation. And she said, let me think about

(47:41):
these. I'll get back to you in a couple
of weeks. And she did.
And she said, look, I see the skills you have.
I need a project manager. Come to the senior leadership
team. Here's 5 projects.
And I think that was the most fulfilling 10 months working
with 50 women, two men, in a very, very positive environment

(48:03):
where everyone has the same purpose, the same drive every
single day. And it's to create change in the
community and bring 0 deaths to cancer.
We all knew what the purpose was.
And I learned a lot from her as a leader and how she manages and
runs a team of 50 women. Because if you're not a good
leader, that can turn into a very catty, awful environment.

(48:23):
Women can be like that as well. But it was very, very
fulfilling. And then after that it was a
fixed term position and I had another CEO who's a friend of
mine said no, you need to come and help me with my brand.
So I worked with them for a while and in the coffee business
and I was making really good money.

(48:45):
But again, I didn't feel fulfilled.
I didn't like corporate as much and I was hired to be a
marketing manager, but I was doing a lot of operations
management and I said, if I'm going to just do operations, I
can do that in my own business. What am I doing here?
What purpose value is I went back to that list I'd written a

(49:06):
year ago and I said, this doesn't take this, this and this
for me. So why am I doing this?
I'm, I'm 40I. I've realized 40 is a decade of
awakening. I was like, I don't, I don't
need this. My mom said, are you mad?
You, you know, you're just sitting at work and you're
looking after this business and you're getting paid really well.
I said yes, but money is not themotivation.

(49:28):
My brain is. Not engaged.
It's yeah. So I went back to the drawing
board. I looked at those priorities
again and I said, OK, psychology.
And I thought to myself, yes, OK, if I wanted to become, I
know because I've done my postgraduate in guidance and

(49:48):
counselling that the next step is masters and that involves a
lot of face to FaceTime. It's going to take me another
three 2-3 years to get my certifications get established.
That is fulfilling, but is also looking at the past and I and
talking to people always about old problems and negativity and
I want it more positive. So I stumbled upon coaching and

(50:11):
I was like, let's explore this alittle bit more.
And I've, I realized that coaching is really
forward-looking and it's positive.
And one of the traits that I have is you give me a problem, I
want to solve it. And it's very annoying because
sometimes as a partner, he just wants to invent as a husband.

(50:33):
And I'm just like, OK, he has 10solutions.
I'm very solution focused. So I was like that, that's a
well, why don't I use that traitand all stuff I know about
psychology and the fact that coaching is actually based on
psycho. The basis is the psychological
principles that I've done in my postgraduate guidance and

(50:53):
counselling. It's going to be easy.
It's just re understanding how to shape the medical mindset
that counselling has to a more positive sync potential in
people. And that's where I was like,
this is great. This aligns with who I am.

(51:13):
So and a lot of people said, youknow, you've been doing this all
this anyway all these years you've been doing it for free
for all of us. So maybe that's what you should
be doing and charging for it. And I'm like, OK, sounds like a
great idea. Let's do an I don't know why I'm
doing another degree. It's mostly to make myself feel

(51:36):
like I have the certification toprove it.
But that's self right. It's the.
Self self, right. It's the self stuff.
It's the self validation. Yeah.
And well, how I thank you for that because you know what it
showed is what you said right atthe start of this conversation.
Your life is not linear and nothing has been that whole.
I asked you a simple question, but your answer was, hey, this
is how it happened because it there's a there's like we said

(51:57):
before, there's a story behind the end where you are right now,
and that's really great. But what I, what I do want to me
hear you and acknowledge you foris the fact that you recognize
the burnout because as you said before, just because you're good
at it doesn't mean you carry on.And how many of us keep calling
that day exactly? It's very easy to stay in your
comfort zone. Yeah.

(52:19):
And it's very hard to let go of your comfort zone.
To make myself redundant in my own business was probably the
hardest thing ever. I've been threatening it, and I
was like, I quit. But you know, when you're
quitting to your husband, he thinks it's a joke.
He's like, yes, she said that three times before.
Like, you know, this is not ragequitting.
This is real quitting. Yeah, here we go.

(52:41):
Here's. Our resignation letter here,
Yeah. And it's.
Really. It's really.
Interesting because right now I know the ton is going and has
been in a comfort zone for a long time and now you, as he
mentioned before, he's going to transition.
Tony, how does this sound with you as you're going through?
What was super common for you toplace?
It's so different for you right now.
Yeah, I think it's definitely it's, yeah, it's definitely been

(53:01):
an adjustment and I think a lot of self discovery as well.
And I think that sometimes, yeah, sometimes you've just got
to be able to sit with it. I think, you know, I've got my
support networks and everything,but I think it's also been quite
interesting to challenge my own assumptions.
I think. Yeah, you're right, for quite a
while I was in quite a comfort zone.

(53:24):
Yeah. And also, yeah, it's been an
interesting, it's been an interesting period.
And I think it yeah, it will take time, but I think it's.
Yeah. That's that's something that I
think that's that's going to benefit me in the long run.
And I think that's something that I have to tell myself
rather than getting overwhelmed for something that I'm not so
familiar with. So yeah, it's been a, it's been

(53:47):
an interesting challenge, but I think, yeah, eventually they'll
be stepping stones to something better at the end of it.
Yeah, totally. And like, like Chamblee said,
it's, it's, it's challenging when you've got to do this.
Yeah, it's totally different. Growth happens in your
uncomfortable zone and how many of us actively do that?
You know, sometimes you have to do because life throws a mission

(54:08):
at you, but you actually doing that thing is is such a
unlevelable awareness as well, which is really, really easy and
really and really quite scary aswell.
And I think it's very important for us to start accepting that
transition is uncomfortable. It's whatever.
But you don't it take. Let it take its time.

(54:29):
Yeah. I always used to rush in and go
I need an answer right now, what's next?
But sometimes just you know thisis OK for right now is
acceptable. I'm still figuring it out.
Is acceptable? Yeah, that's not true.
It's a bit like like nature. Nature goes through seasons,

(54:50):
right? It takes time because of season.
Things flourish, things die, butthey have their time and their
place. But as humans, as you said
before, we just keep hustling. We keep chasing and I heard, I
heard something today on a podcast, when we keep chasing,
it means that we become a place of lack, always lack, some lack.
But if you just accept things and go ahead, this is it for

(55:11):
now. You take ownership of your,
you're controlling that area, you're controlling it.
And I work with my clients. I hear a lot of them talk about
they're chasing their next relationship or career pathway
or whatever. But when you're chasing as what,
what are you doing? You're not enjoying the moment.
And as you said, you know, I'm circling back to what you said
before is you weren't able to enjoy being a mum or being 100%

(55:32):
teacher because the world's wereclashing and you weren't able to
just be present in 100% in thoseplaces there.
So on really full circle momentsthere we speak about, you know,
what's what, what are we doing and why are we doing what are we
doing so on. And I'm excited to see where
where the coaching goes for you because yeah, it's it's a pretty
beautiful place to work in. Look.

(55:52):
From what I've experienced in the last couple of months, I am
really enjoying it. I'm just enjoying listening to
people and I love the fact that coaching doesn't just give you
advice. You just, I'm not there with my
experience as a business owner to just tell you what to do.

(56:15):
Go hire a consultant for that. Coaching is about that deeper
level of awareness and I don't want someone to be reliant on
me. I want people to learn the art
of coaching themselves. That is the objective, to be
self reliant and I think that's really positive because you when
you think about it, you don't sit with the GP every day, do

(56:37):
you? You don't see your GP unless you
have a serious medical problem. You go when you need to.
So get a coach when you need to learn the skills and then if you
need to go back after a few years because you have
transitioned or your goals have transitioned, do that.
That's right. Yeah, that's right.
And as you said, it's not about reliance.

(56:57):
It's about hey, let's have a chat.
OK, let's go give me the tools and off I go talking about
giving me the tools and coachingand reliance.
How do you relax? You know, we've spoken about how
busy you are and all the amazingthings you do.
What is your downtime? What does that look like?
My. Downtime is reading a book, even

(57:19):
if it's a couple of pages of a novel, because that still
connects me with my other passion, which is literature and
being an English teacher and finding love for words.
That has never gone away. So I and I need my I'm an active
relaxer. My mind needs to be always

(57:40):
engaged with something. Even when I'm like doing emails,
I need to have background noise.My husband finds it hilarious
that I go to the gym and watch Netflix, but I say to him, look,
I know psychologically I have a brain and body disconnect and

(58:00):
for me to move my body, I need my mind engaged.
And if it means that a Netflix show is 60 minutes and I'm on
the treadmill and the bike for 30 minutes each, I've at least
exercised right instead of. And he just can't understand
that because he's a, he's differently built.
And for him, that's his quiet time and relaxation time and

(58:24):
spending time with his body. And for me, that's like the
worst idea of going to the gym and spending time feeling the
pain is I need the disconnect. So everything that I do to relax
has got to engage my brain. Reading is there's nothing like
being on the beach reading a book.
For me, that's active relaxation, which I'm hoping to

(58:46):
do. Spending time with my family,
eating and watching them experience new flavours and try
different things, that is reallyfulfilling.
Cooking something for them that they enjoy.
That's my creative outlet. So now, and the other thing I've

(59:06):
realized is I to overcome this brain body disconnect, I need to
put self-care time in. So I was burning the candle last
night. Today I took an hour out.
I found the hour and went and got my nails done, which I
hadn't done for six months. And my and my kids had got me a

(59:27):
gift voucher for Mother's Day. So I said as long as I balanced
that scale it, you got to fill the bucket as well.
Otherwise the bucket becomes empty and it serves nobody.
So I am now conscious that I don't reach burnout because
every week I do something that'sfor me, whether it's reading the

(59:47):
book, whether it's indulging in a little bit of self-care.
Friday mornings I go workout with my girlfriends.
It's a group of four girls and we box, we train and while we're
doing it, our trainer is happy for us to just vent out our
problems and get business adviceand relationship advice.

(01:00:11):
So it's like our inner circle and we talk about kids,
husbands, families, staff that are annoying or business
problems or anything and we punch it out and that's my
release. So that's my one hour that is
non negotiable. I'd love to be a fly in the wall
in that in that class and it's very entertaining and your your

(01:00:33):
trainer must be like this is entertaining, you know, in such
a great way. But what I liked about that
there is the fact that you said it's intentional, like you have
to put that our side. You know, a lot of people say,
oh, we'll get there. We'll do that.
But you wouldn't do that if you had a meeting, you'd go, I'll
get to that meeting at some point you'd put into your
calendar. So why don't you put a meeting
with yourself in the calendar and whatever, whatever that

(01:00:53):
looks like. No.
And if. I was putting it with myself
though. I would cheat because it's
always easy to cheat on yourselfand say I'll do that later.
But when there are. Other people involved who are
holding you accountable, It's like a coach holds you
accountable. My personal trainer will be like

(01:01:14):
who's a friend of ours and also starting her business out.
She will go, why weren't you here today?
And that is just like, I don't want to disappoint her because
I'm very OK with disappointing myself.
Because as a mother, there is mom guilt is totally real.
And the minute you become a mother, the needs of somebody

(01:01:37):
else are always more important. And so women forget to put the
mask on themselves. They always, even in a plane
crash, you'll see them doing that for the kid.
And that's why they tell you, please put the mask on yourself
first because you're no good. If you're the one who's passed
out, you, you won't be able to help your kid.
So I have to consciously remind myself and that's how when I

(01:02:01):
have a group activity like that and I'm accountable to somebody,
I know I'm not going to cancel on Friday because there's going
to be 4 women who are entrepreneurs who are as busy as
me, whose calendars are really chocker, who've made that time
and they're going to go, where were you?
What was more important than us?And this time with yourself.

(01:02:22):
So if you are one of those womenout there who is like, Oh no,
I'll go to the gym on my own later, try another way.
Get your friends involved. Keep you.
Audible and I think. And I, and I like that because,
you know, some of us need accountability because you have
to, you have to then make an excuse and then you're like,

(01:02:43):
what is my actual reason that I'm not here?
And I just said it becomes much harder and harder and and I love
what you said. There was what is more important
than being here? I think if you ask that
question, that just blows up. OK, Actually me being beard, is
that actually important being here?
No, it wasn't exactly. Love it, love.

(01:03:04):
It so we've been talking for over an hour now and you know,
the time was just flown and I'm like I said before, there's so
much we could dig into, but we will ask our final question on a
time. Do you have any questions for
Chan? I have a question.
A question for you Chant is we have a tradition on this

(01:03:24):
podcast. It's called Basks of Knowledge
and we invite our guests to share a piece of knowledge to
put into our basket. You've shared so much today, but
is there any particular piece ofknowledge that you that is just
a hit time for you and that you would love to share with myself,
Tony and I guess all listeners as well?
As we were talking before, work life balance is a myth.

(01:03:45):
What you see on Instagram is a myth.
It is one person's happy moment for that day, but you don't see
the hustle. You don't see the real and just
know that prioritizing at times.I was having this conversation

(01:04:05):
today with someone that she's learning at 49, Tereo Maori, And
if that means giving her kids chicken Nuggets twice a week,
it's not going to kill them. They're not going to remember
the chicken Nuggets when they grow up.
They're going to remember that their mother, at 49, reconnected
with her culture, learned a new language and added that to her

(01:04:29):
identity. They're going to learn that if
she can do it, I can do it. They're going to learn that as a
parent, you don't have to be perfect all the time.
That sometimes prioritizing yourneeds is also important and you
won't set these goals that you know generations have been
carrying on with these stereotypes.
You will teach your kids that work life balance is a myth.

(01:04:54):
Prioritizing things as you need to is fine, and it's life as
long as you remember to prioritize other things in your
life as well. You know what I know about that
And I think I said this year at the start is this whole work
life balance thing was somethingwe've been sold, sold and sold
and sold. And I used to keep singing as

(01:05:15):
well until a few months ago and I was like, this actually is not
real. There's no such thing as work
like balance. And I'd like to use the word
work like alignment or a different word balance.
Balance doesn't happen. There's no way because something
loses, something loses all the time.
And I I. Ask people, I say if you got a
$20,000 business call at 5 O 5:00 PM, are you as a business

(01:05:37):
owner going to say, sorry, I work between 9:00 AM and 5:00
PMI cannot answer your query because I'm closed.
I'm gone for the day. You're not Yeah, you are going
to answer that call. So let's be honest.
That's not it's not a box that you create.
I think that's. Right.
And it's, and I think the more we get reminded of it, the the

(01:05:58):
real it becomes, the more real and we just challenge the status
quo. Yeah, Tom, it's been really,
really lovely challenges. Any last any last things?
You know, we've touched on so much here, but is there anything
that you go, hey, this is a partof our life that I'd love to
share that we haven't touched on.
No, I just. Think, Believe in the potential
that you have and don't. If I could say anything like you

(01:06:22):
asked me to, the girl who was there in India at the start is
just believe you have skills, you may not see them now.
You have potential. Don't give up on yourself.
That's the worst thing you can do in life.
You even at 80, you can learn, yeah, new things.
So I believe you will learn tillthe day you die.

(01:06:43):
Yeah. And I love that.
And this is something my one of my team always says to me,
always says to me, produce, be astudent everyday be a student.
And I was like, yeah, this is very interesting that we don't
know what we don't know. So yeah, I love the way you put
that be doesn't matter how old you are, you wouldn't learn
something. Something.
It might be good, it might be bad, it might be ugly, but
you'll learn something. Even the worst things teach us a

(01:07:04):
lot 100. Percent, 100% yeah.
The teachers not to touch a fireagain.
You get burnt, don't touch it again.
Boom. OK, yeah, amazing.
Tom, thank you so much for your time today.
Thank you so much for sharing somuch about you, but also thank
you about the emotion. You you see some emotion which
you know is so real and raw, which is pretty beautiful.
As we said at the start, you know, this is just a story and

(01:07:24):
you've told the fantastic story about who you are.
So thank you so much for your time.
Phyllis is out there. Thank you so much for listening
in and hopefully you've learned something today.
If you haven't learned something, it's because you
haven't listened. Come back and listen to the
podcast again and just remember the next time you see people
that are out there in the media,you just see the media, but
they've all got a story behind them.
And don't be afraid to ask them what their story is because I'm

(01:07:45):
pretty sure they'll be willing to share.
So till next time, don't forget to keep smiling.
Don't forget to put something inyour box of knowledge.
And most of all, our big learning today is there's no
such thing as love, work, life balance.
Think about think about how you use that phrase in your life
every single day. So next time talk to everybody.
Bye peace. Thank you for listening to

(01:08:10):
Bastards of Knowledge. Yeah, we hope that you found
something useful to put into your bastard knowledge.
And as we said before, remember to put something little into
your baskets of knowledge every week.
And as always, feel free to like, comment and share this
podcast. Thanks, everybody.
Bye.