August 11, 2025 • 54 mins
What happens when you stop adding… and start cutting?
In our latest Baskets of Knowledge episode, we speak with Sneha Villalva, a woman who has worn many hats; journalist, executive speechwriter, storyteller, and now, emerging speaker and soon-to-be author.
Her journey is anything but ordinary.
- She discovered her calling in the middle of a darkened dorm room, sick and reading a book that would change her life forever.
- She snuck into the Women’s World Cup for her very first front-page story.
- She’s given voice to leaders at some of the world’s most prestigious universities, all while quietly silencing her own.
- She’s navigated burnout, cultural pressures, and the grief of losing someone she loved far too soon.
And through it all, she uncovered a truth: the most powerful growth often comes from letting go.
That’s where The CUT comes in, a framework born from her life’s defining moments. We don’t reveal it here… you’ll need to listen to hear what it stands for and why it might be the exact shift you need right now.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
How personal tragedy shaped Sneha’s outlook on time, priorities, and peace.
Why perfectionism could be silently holding you back.
The surprising link between words, self-talk, and the life you build.
How owning your voice can change not just your career, but your confidence.
Listen on Spotify or watch on YouTube to step inside Sneha’s story and discover what The CUT could mean for you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Hey everybody, it's Prajesh here.
In Tana here. Welcome to our podcast Passes of
Knowledge chats with a difference.
In our podcast, we invite guestsfrom around the country and
around the world to talk about how they got to where they at
the moment. It's about a journey, it's about
an experience, it's about their life.
(00:26):
Welcome to another episode of Baskets of Knowledge.
Just before I jumped on. We're talking about what number
it is. We've forgotten about the
number. And it also doesn't matter where
you are listing. It could be episode #1 or
episode 169. It doesn't matter.
We're just really glad that you were joining us.
Tony, how are you doing and whatdid you put into your boss's
acknowledgement last book? Yeah, going good.
Thank you. I think probably the biggest
(00:48):
learning I've had over the last couple of weeks has just been
reflecting on, you know, that wedon't always have to be an
inspiration to others or do all these inspiring things.
I think, you know, as I've continued into this transition
period, there's been a lot of reflection, a lot of changes
that have happened in my life. But I think, you know, I got
(01:08):
like, I went to the gym today and that's the third time this
week and, you know, probably a month ago I wasn't doing very
much for myself in terms of physical activity or, you know,
doing things for me. So I think I've just been
reflecting on, you know, you don't have to be that
inspiration to everybody else. Sometimes you've got to focus on
that in the South. And that's been a hard, I think
a hard challenge for me because I've always been a people
(01:30):
person. So it's definitely been a
reflection and yes, something that I hope to, you know,
utilize to go, you know, sometimes you do have to work on
yourself. How long that takes is, you
know, obviously depends on the person and the situation, but
it's been a really huge reflection.
I think for me to go, it's time to start putting some value back
(01:50):
into myself so I can put value into the people that I work with
or friends, family, etcetera. Yeah, that's a beautiful
reflection because I think a lotof the times we like to give,
give, give, give to be inspiring.
But actually, if you don't look after yourself, you can't do
anything, you know? So it's really important for you
to bring yourself back to that, to ground Ground Zero on your
base and go right, cool. If I can inspire myself, that's
(02:12):
all that matters at the end of the day.
Now that you, you're all that matters.
If you think about, yeah, about life in general, it sounds a bit
selfish, but actually that's what matters at the end of the
day. And my, my learning is
interesting. I went to this amazing
conference on the other day and it just blew my mind.
But the one thing that, that onephrase that learned that I, that
I really, really picked up was when we navigating storms, we
(02:38):
don't, we don't waste energy navigating the storm.
We waste a lot of energy in resisting the change.
And I was like, Oh, this is whathappens.
How many times do we just resistchange?
And that takes our energy. And you know, that really got me
thinking about anything that we do in life, the resistance of
change is we waste our energy. And I think our speaker today
(03:00):
might have talked about some of that in a different way as we as
we go through the conversation. But hey, enough about us.
As you know, we can keep speaking forever, but it's not
about us. It is our pleasure, our our
absolute, absolute honor to invite our guests on today.
This is a guest that I got to meet, I guess a few months ago
through a, a program that we're both doing.
(03:22):
And I've heard them speaking a few, a few times.
They actually woke up at 2:00 AMto give a talk to us here in New
Zealand, which is amazing dedication. 2:00 AM or 1:00 AM.
It was crazy time. Whatever it was, it was pretty
crazy, but over the last few months I've got to know them and
their message. But beyond their message, they
have, they have a career path, been a career that's really
exciting and really interesting,but also full of lots of
(03:44):
learnings, I guess. And hopefully we get to go
through those today. Welcome to bosses of Knowledge
Now. Thank you.
Thank you, Prajesh. Thank you, Tony.
It's such a pleasure to be here.Thank you for inviting me.
I love this cross country, not cross country, cross world,
cross global interaction, right?So I'd love that we're able to
(04:05):
do this also at a decent time for me.
So thank you for that. Exactly.
You know, it's only 2:00 PM in New Zealand and it's 7:00 PM in,
in, in your part of the world. Beautiful, beautiful.
We can't complain, can we? And for people who know nothing
about you, they're not as lucky as I to have to have met you.
Who who is now today on the 10thof August or 9th of August for
(04:26):
you? On the 9th of August yes, I'm
living in your past so things are still OK Hope the future
looks good too. Sneha today is AI my Let me tell
you a little bit about background before I move to
today. So my background is as a
journalist. I was a newspaper journalist for
(04:46):
a few years, and then I went into what I call creative
recovery. I escaped the business right as
the newspaper industry was beginning to tank.
And I went to grad school and I focused on fiction.
Actually, I got a writing degreein fiction, and after that I
went into higher Ed communications, which was an
(05:07):
interesting journey because it feels like you went on the dark
side from a journalist's perspective.
You went to the the PR side, butit's actually a really great
shift in terms of feature writing and working with people
who are really at the peak of knowledge and discovery and
learning. And so it's just a great
learning experience. And from there I, somebody
(05:28):
believed in me. So I started writing speeches
for the college presidents, two of them there.
And it was amazing because my background is I'm a preacher's
daughter, granddaughter and great granddaughter.
So I've heard a lot of speeches in my life.
So it's something I think that'skind of embedded in me.
And it was great to be able to use that to help leaders
(05:53):
articulate what they want to sayand express themselves in
creative ways and new contexts. And from there, I went to UCLA
and I was the executive speech writer for the chancellor there.
So I recently left a few months ago and I'm moving into the
speaking space, an emerging speaker, but also independent as
(06:13):
a writer. And that's my professional
journey. I live in Los Angeles and make
my home with a wonderful husband, my first and last
husband, and he is from Ecuador.I am from India with a great
intercultural marriage and I grew up in a place called Rancho
Cucamonga. It's a real place people often
(06:35):
ask, but it was a great place togrow up and I'm a California
native and love it and love would love the chance to come to
New Zealand. That would be amazing.
Oh, amazing, amazing. I love that.
I love that because you know, there's, like we said, there's
two sides to everybody. There's the professional side
and there's the personal side. And you've, you've spoken and
touched on each of those, which is really beautiful.
(06:56):
I'm going to start, start back at your journey being a
journalist. Was there something that you
always wanted to do? Was there something that fell
into your lap because of of life, I guess.
That's a great question. So I grew up always reading.
My nose was always in a book. I actually didn't know where I
lived until I started driving because I was always reading in
(07:17):
the car. So I couldn't, I couldn't find
my way home. I was just a bookworm.
And so I think writing was a natural progression, but it
actually came to me. It crystallized for me in
college. It was my third year of college.
I was in my dorm. I was sick, sick, sick.
I was so sick and I couldn't bring myself to do anything.
(07:37):
But I picked up two books by Anne Lamott. 1 is Bird by Bird,
and the other one is Traveling Mercies and Bird by Bird is a
book on writing. I finished that book and I just
knew I was like, this is what I need to do.
I need to be a writer. It just came together in the
middle of that illness in that dark room with that book, you
know, as I'm squinting my eyes trying to read it.
(07:59):
And it just all came together atthat moment.
And a couple months later, I gotan internship at a newspaper
through a contact that we had a friend and just jumped in with
both feet. My first story was actually a
front page story. It was on the Women's World Cup
and I had to sneak in, sneak into the stadium.
(08:21):
I had no press credentials, but I had to sneak into the stadium,
find my way in and interview. So that was my journey to
journalism. And I, I love the journalism
experience because similar to what you do here on Baskets of
Knowledge, it's a study in humanbehavior and the human
condition, right? You meet all kinds of people,
(08:42):
all kinds of people in all kindsof situations.
And so it's just a fascinating study of who we are, why we do
it, we do what motivates us. So that was my journalism
journey. You know, what's a, what's a
beautiful place now is the moment it happened.
It's still memorable right now, you know, you remember the oops,
you remember that moment there. As you said, the crystallizing
moment is so, so, so clear for you.
(09:03):
And, and as you think about thatmoment there and when you spoke
to your parents, the hey, parents, this is my pathway.
What is their reaction? And it's always interesting
about parents reactions because,you know, parents always react
to other oh, yay, what is what is the reaction for you?
They were immensely supportive. They were always, they were
never the kind that said you have to do XY or Z and these are
(09:24):
your only options. My both of them were always
supportive. My father always said he needed
to focus on your strengths. And you know, which is great,
especially when you think about things like aptitudes and how
we're wired. He always said focus on your
strengths. And so my strength is strictly
creative writing, history, all those subjects that the math
(09:47):
side of my brain is not fully developed.
So I had no other choice I but to go into writing.
And it was just, they were supersupportive.
My dad kind of fed my habit of reading my whole life.
He has a office with literally thousands of books covering the
walls. And so I grew up sneaking into
that office and grabbing books and reading things.
(10:09):
And so he always cultivated thatand I would always save up my
babysitting money to go buy either books or music.
And whenever he came with me to the bookstore, like I'd kind of
slip a book into his hand and hecould never resist not buying it
for me. So they were very supportive of
my writing journey and excited and always, always affirming of
(10:30):
my gifts, which is a gift to me,right, to have that support in a
somewhat non traditional route of career.
So. Yeah, and, and and as you say,
it's not traditional, right, Because, you know, I, I'm going
to think about stereotypes. You know, when you think about
Indian stereotypes families, they think about, you know,
engineer, doctor, lawyer. And the same thing with me when
(10:51):
I chose my career pathway, I wasvery lucky my parents, my mom's
a doctor and my dad's in the health field, but they were both
like wouldn't actually care. You just do whatever you want.
Use use just just strengths to find to find your passion.
Even today, they, you know, they're still my, my heroes.
And they're like, very cool. What are you doing now?
What's, what's, what are you up to?
It's not about a title status, which is really beautiful.
(11:12):
I'd say it's not traditional in a lot of senses there.
But what I did notice now is theword sneak.
You sneaked, you sneak, you snuck into the Women's World Cup
and you also snuck into your dad's office to do some reading.
Is that a bit of a trend there? I actually had a nickname
someone gave me when I was really little, and it was Sneaky
Lou. So I guess I have that kind of
(11:33):
surreptitious. I always wanted to be a spy.
That was one of my secret desires, you know?
But that didn't work out, so I went for the writing and.
Journalist, boy, you know, same sort of thing.
Yeah, it's kind. Of on the same wavelength,
right? Yeah, it's easy.
And, and as you started your journalist journey, what, what
are some of the, the challenges that you faced in And I, and I
(11:53):
put this in a, in phraseology, because we, we just read media.
We don't see what goes on in theback end as you're trying to
write those stories and what stories actually people are
going to read. Because again, it's a career
pathway you have, you have people to reply to or respond
to. How did you find that place
there before we shifted? You know, you spoke about the
people, which is great, but the job itself, what is that like?
(12:16):
The job itself is very, it's pretty brutal actually,
depending on what beat you have.Even if you I had kind of a
community general news sort of scope in my in my writing, and
I'm really grateful I did because some people had the City
Council right or some people hadcrime right.
(12:40):
And what I saw was that it's a very people are very committed
and driven. We unfortunately, media has
shifted to a corporate right, corporate institution, but
really behind it are really great people who really do
strive to seek the truth and print it, whatever their own
(13:04):
biases might be. And we all have biases, right?
But I saw that people were very hard working and very determined
to get to the bottom of things. I met some of the most
incredible people, one I'm stillvery close to today.
We exchanged writing and read each other's work.
(13:24):
So builds great relationships and I think the occupation is
very unforgiving in the sense ofI would see people at one night
I had a meeting that went to like midnight that I was
covering for the newspaper. And the next morning there was
like, it was at 5:00 AM, you know, that was my next story.
(13:47):
So there's, there was no break, right, for some of those
stories. And that was true more for the
other people in The Newsroom 'cause I was still a very young
reporter. But it was, I saw that it wasn't
a career path from what I was observing, that was very family
friendly in the sense of you didn't have space to cultivate
relationships or be at home even, right.
(14:10):
So I think that was that was something I observed that I
wanted to do something a little different than that.
So. Yeah, and I, I love the take
there because, you know, we see lots of people that want to be
journalists and it's great. Storytelling is fantastic and
social is amazing. But as you said before, when you
live in a world where it's the corporate institute versus a
(14:31):
person centric institute, it just changes things just a
little bit. You know, in in, in the world,
in the modern world view, there's a he's saying that goes,
what's the most important thing in the world?
And it's the people, the people,the people.
I think, you know, we can we cansafely say that at at this point
in time that's being eroded in the way the media think of
things. Yeah, that's my my thoughts
(14:53):
there. Any any thoughts on that met
there? Definitely.
I would totally agree. Like, I think the corporate
takeover of the media is really just been a disaster, right?
Because it becomes driven by interest, not by the truth.
So I think that's made it reallydifficult.
So much misinformation, disinformation, you know,
(15:17):
alternative facts like things that just really are not
journalism, right? So I think that makes it really
challenging. People have to be really
critical thinkers and read widely to to know what the truth
is. And I think unfortunately, we
like to confirm our biases. So we only read or watch the
things that align with the things we believe, right.
So I think from a former journalist perspective, you
(15:39):
know, it's like it's we need to do better than that, right?
We need to take a a broader view, read news from other
countries, read news from the opposite side of the spectrum.
So I think, yeah, the people arewhat make it valuable.
And I guess it's much harder nowbecause, you know, I think about
when I was growing up and I'm sure when you're going as well,
(16:00):
you you could you could choose different news, news to watch.
You had you had you had choice. But the choice wasn't 24 hours.
It was OK, cool news would be from 6:00.
And I said there was not 24 newscycles.
So you just knew it was what wasthere.
But now you just watch the same thing over and over and over and
over again. And you're starting to create
news, right, because it's a 24 hour news cycle.
(16:21):
You have to fill those hours, right?
So you get really bad reporting.You get people that are just
reporting on things as they comein reporting quote, but they're
actually just telling you what just came in.
There's no reporting that's beeninvolved, right, because they
have to keep keep the cameras rolling and keep the show going.
So I think that's really been tothe detriment.
The 24 hour news cycle is is nota good thing and.
(16:44):
And when I see you, I see a, a strong, powerful women and what
you do. But what's it like for you in
that field as a, as a, as a, as a young lady, I guess navigating
not just the journalism, but also when you stepped into the
speech writing as as a young person?
As a young person, I'll be honest, it was overwhelming,
(17:05):
right? It was overwhelming because you
come in. The beauty of journalism is
you're always free to ask any question.
I think I love that about journalism.
There really is no stupid question, right?
You're that's your job. Is that the question?
So even if you know the answer, you still need to ask the
question, right? So I think I came in a little
(17:28):
insecure about that. So it took time to build up that
security and it wasn't because the environment was negative, it
was just something internal thathad to shift, that had to own
like this is my space as well and I can occupy it.
So I think it, it was a journey in terms of in, in my whole
writing journey, coming to a place where I can really own my
(17:50):
writing, own my creativity and step out in confidence with it.
Yeah. And as you speak about that, the
when, when did it happen for you?
Because you know, and I asked when in Kardashian marks,
because we're always evolving and I love the fact that you
said it wasn't, it wasn't environment, you know, too often
blame the environment, but sometimes we've got to go, like
Tony said before, internally. What, what, what?
(18:10):
Where does it come from internally?
Yeah, Where does it come from internally?
The confidence in my writing, I think when it comes from
practice, right, you have to keep, as they say, go to the
woodshed and chopping wood, right?
Like you just, you just chop wood again and again and again.
Otherwise it's just practice. Practice makes perfect.
(18:33):
It's muscle memory. And so I think being in
different contexts, like, and then going to grad school and
being able to write in all kindsof genres, whether it was
screenplay, poetry, fiction, nonfiction, little bit of technical
writing, not my not my strong suit, but we can take a class in
that. I think it was practice being
able to do that again and again and growing into my voice.
(18:56):
And again, I, it was a process, right?
Like what I wrote then, I would not right now because my voice
has changed over time. So it's, it's a growth process
in a sense of stepping into yourown voice.
Is, is a process definitely. Yeah.
And I'm just going to, I'm just going to touch a little bit into
your into where you are now. So if we think about the growth
(19:16):
process and we think about the cuts, what did you have to cut
out for you to for the growth process?
Then you can also talk about what the cut is as well, for
instance. Yeah, so I talk about a method
called the Cut, the Cut Method, and it's an acronym and it
stands for see Clarify Your values.
You uncover the essence and T treasure the time.
(19:38):
And what it is, is a philosophy that we must subtract to expand
and that we must make strategic cuts in order to live a life of
poise and purpose. So I think what I had to cut was
a lot of insecurity, right? You cut that through realizing,
oh, I've just shut down my own voice and that's that's not
(19:58):
serving me well, right? I've had to cut ego sometimes,
right? Where you just realize you need
to be more humble, right? You cut perfectionism.
I think I've really learned to lean into permission, not
perfection. I think that's a very important
distinction. And that's not.
And say you don't do excellent work, but you have to,
(20:21):
especially as a writer, give yourself permission, right?
If you don't let go of perfectionism, you'll never put
anything out in the world, right?
So it's, I think perfectionism can be our undoing.
And we really just need to give ourselves permission to take
action. You know, as we say, with
clarity and confidence come withaction, right?
(20:42):
But I'd also say that clarity and confidence come with
subtraction, right? We have to take certain things
away to see more clearly. So that's that's those are
different kinds of cuts I've hadto make.
I think that's the essence of what it is, is deciding what are
my values in this context, What's most important, what
(21:05):
makes me tick, what makes me getup in the morning?
What do I want to be remembered for at the end of time, right?
And what's what's what's the most important versus what's
expected? That would be the EU the uncover
the essence, right? What's because essence is the
very being the central thing, the main idea, right.
So what is that thing? And then T we have to treasure
(21:28):
the time. We have to realize that life is
short. And I have a really keen sense
of life's brevity. So I think that's really
informed the cuts that I make. Yeah.
And and you know what's so what's so beautiful about that
there because as we saw the podcast, Tana spoke about what
is biggest learning was in Tana.As you think about what's NEA
said about the cuts, how do you see that relates back to what
you're going through right now? Yeah, it, it definitely
(21:51):
resonates with what I've been going through.
And I think that's, it's crucialto have that knowledge to have
some meaningful, you know, parameters of what you're trying
to do and what you're trying to,to achieve.
Because I think sometimes we, you know, we often just go out
as the way it is and we don't actually reflect on what we can,
(22:12):
you know, use the cut for. So it's very insightful for
sure. Yeah.
You know, as you said, and Antonio and I think myself as
well, you know, in our worlds welive with and and, and and.
But actually, when you take away, you actually start adding
more value to the things that you actually have in life.
It's so true. It's so true.
We think cuts diminish us, you know, but they're actually
(22:34):
enlarging us. We're making space for the most
important thing, and so we can live larger, not smaller.
We play a bigger, better game ifwe cut and focus on the one
thing versus everything, right? It's really funny when I I'm
like my coaching clients, I always say to them when you try
to do everything, you end up doing nothing.
Absolutely. Because you know, and it's, but
(22:55):
it's so hard for us to cut because as you said, the biggest
thing is ego. Ego is the biggest thing that we
all. That's the number one thing for
us to cut and it's the hardest thing for us to cut.
Definitely, because we believe we get our value from what we
do, right. And if we believe that, then we
constantly need to add things toour To Do List, right?
Because that's where your meaning lies.
But if we believe something different, then we have to act
(23:18):
differently, right? So.
Certainly so true. And you know, I, I love this,
this cut methodology. How did that come up for you?
Because as you said before, you journalists, you're writing
speeches, which is all adding. It's all adding.
You know, if you think about where you've come from, you're
adding value to the world. You're adding content for people
(23:38):
to speak about. You're adding.
When did you go? Actually, wait a minute, let me
start removing to add that. I mean, I think it's been what I
call a growing, knowing where it's repeated mistakes and then
realizing, oh, I should do that differently next time.
I think there have been times where I've had to, let's go to
(24:00):
college, for instance, when I was overwhelmed.
I was doing great in the class, but I thought, you know what, my
health is more important right now.
I'm driving myself into a ditch and I am going to cut this
class. Not cut as in not go, but cut as
in just leave, you know, unenroll from that class, which
is when you're a used to being atop student.
(24:23):
That's not what you do, right? But actually, I think sometimes
that's the most important thing to do is realize your
limitations and and acknowledge,you know, we're not as strong as
we think we are. And that's OK.
And also that we need to draw a boundary, right?
And I think we need to remember no is a complete sentence,
right? It's OK to say no to certain
(24:45):
things and then get really granular, right?
And also figure out, OK, what's important versus what's
expected. So I think for me, burnout
started really early in high school.
I was just, I did a million things.
I was like 2 hands, a dozen plates, right?
So I was the baccalaureate soloist, graduation speaker.
(25:10):
I swept the senior awards ceremony.
I led the campus fellowship, choir, mock trial, girls state
academic Decathlon. My plate was really full, right?
But I just realized at one pointI was having canker sores.
And that sounds like a minor thing, but I get so many that I
couldn't eat or drink. Like it was just very painful
(25:31):
for me, which is a sign of stress, right?
Because anxiety, anxiety and stress can cause that.
And so it was very internalized.Like externally I was very
poised and powerful, right? But internally, something was
definitely going on for me, thislatent anxiety.
But you could see the anxiety inmy mouth, right?
So different things like that. And I just fell apart One day, I
(25:53):
didn't even anticipate it. I just ran into a trusted
teacher's classroom and I just fell into her arms weeping.
And I didn't have words for whatI was feeling, but I just cried
and cried and cried. And I realized I am just
overwhelmed. And I think college was a
different path for me where I just limited the things that I
(26:15):
did, right? Like, I think you really realize
your limitations at a certain point.
And if you burn out too early, you can't sustain that at a
different time, right? So I think, I think it's a real
problem. And this is not going to get me
invited to speak at any high schools.
But I think it's a real problem,right?
When we have this mentality of you need to add, add, add, add
to be able to get into college, right?
(26:36):
Versus like, why don't you focuson the few things that you're
really good at versus just trying to accomplish a million
things, right? And you, what you have is a
burned out generation. So I think, I think it's really
sad actually. Yeah, it's really powerful that
you shared that there because you know, as I said before, you,
you are, you are strong, you're powerful.
But we will have moments when life wasn't that way there.
(26:59):
And you know, as you shared you,you bent out and I love the fact
how you speak about I, when I work in high schools and I have
all these young people that wantto do everything.
You read the CVS. I'm like, what, when do you have
time to sleep? Like, how do you, why are you
doing all these things here? And I think Tony resonates to
this as well. And people are doing things
because this, they put on this CV because it's good for
(27:20):
university, good for scholarships, good for, but are
you actually living in living inthe moments?
And, and The thing is also schools are doing the same
thing. Because if I see Sneha and Tony
that are doing all the things I can put into my school
prospectus and go look at these amazing students, I'll bring,
you know, back to that, the whole corporate, corporate thing
which goes out there, which is, which is quite sad.
I think. Tonya, you can, we've spoke
(27:41):
about this many times for us about your burnouts.
And as you hear about this Tonya, how do you what?
What does that bring your feet as you hear how stay as you
said, that's her story. Yeah, I think it's definitely,
yeah, something that you reflecton.
And I think, you know, a lot of the times we talk about
hindsight and how it's a beautiful thing.
But I think, you know, and I think so it depends on your
(28:01):
situation. You know, for me, I think the
one fortunate thing I had was, you know, support around me.
I had supportive parents and supportive friends.
So it was never a pressure to oran expectation to go and do
that. I put the expectation on myself.
And I think that's also another side of the narrative that we
don't often talk about is the pressure we, you know, often put
(28:21):
on ourselves to go and achieve these things or go and add these
things. And it's not to say that it's
right or wrong, but I think it'sjust to say, you know, to learn
how to manage that internal voice or that internal
expectation that we put on ourselves to achieve or to, you
know, keep adding. And I guess to as, as you
mentioned, you know, to the question and go, why, you know,
(28:42):
why are we adding it? Is it, is it, is there a reason?
And sometimes there is, you know, but sometimes there's, you
know, a bigger equation or a bigger context to look at as
well. Yes, that's so true.
Thanks for having me. And so now I'm I'm going to use
the the cut analogy. What I loved about one of your
one of your sessions, you sharedhow you chose not to follow the
(29:08):
the norms of getting married as an age and you chose to get
married later on in your life, which is great.
Do you want to speak about speakabout that because as you said,
you know, you have your one and only husband, your first and
your last husband. What is that like?
And I said that because again, there's a narrative out there
that you've got a tick set of boxes of certain ages and blah,
(29:28):
blah, blah, blah. And you went, you went totally
against that there, which is great.
Definitely. I got married in my 40s, which
is not especially culturally coming from an Indian background
that's you're considered expiredafter 35, right?
So I think that was very difficult.
It was a very difficult journey because there's a lot of
(29:50):
external pressure culturally andsocially, and I think I was
stubborn. I think that's what really kept
me going is I had a deep sense that it's not worth settling for
just just for the sake of getting married, right?
And so I would meet people or see people and be like, they
(30:12):
don't align with who I am. There's something there that's
missing. And it's not that they need to
be, you know, have 20 things right with them and look like
AGQ model. And, you know, those things
don't last, right? And I think I was aware of that
from the beginning, but I, I didresist and it was very, very
(30:32):
hard because there's a lot of pressure for that.
But I'm so glad I held out. I'm a big fan of waiting to your
40s and 50s to get married. I just can't endorse that enough
because you grow into who you are, right?
And you know who you want to be and who you want to be with.
So I think it brings a lot of clarity going back to the cut.
(30:52):
Like clarity is really importantin knowing what you value.
And it is such a process of elimination, really, right, that
it reminds me of my dad always uses this story where
Michelangelo's asked, how do youcarve an elephant?
And he says, I just take away everything that doesn't look
(31:14):
like an elephant, right? So I think similar to dating and
marriage, you take away everything that doesn't align
with your values, right? And just hold out for the best
rather than second best. And it's, it's a tough Rd.
because culturally society, you know, not just Indian culture,
but society in general, right? It's very much your, your value
(31:36):
comes from who you're attached to.
And it was worth it was worth the wait.
It was worth holding out for thebest.
He's we have a great, great marriage.
It's peace is our central value.And that's been, that's been,
that's been peaceful. It's been very peaceful.
And I think a lot of it comes from being wise and, and waiting
(31:58):
until we found the right person,you know, to who would match our
values. And I think that was really,
really critical. Was there another question in
there? That I think, I think that was
nothing. That was nothing.
And what I, what I, what I really would love to emphasize
there is the fact that you spokeabout finding the right person,
but also it's finding yourself. As you said before, we don't
actually know who we are. You know, when you are in your
(32:21):
team in your teens, you're trying to be cool.
When you're in college, you're still trying to find your way.
It's on. And when you have your first
job, you're trying to find your,you're trying to fit in as well.
You're always fitting in until at some point you go, I'm not
actually fitting in anymore. I'm just living my life.
And that's when you actually realize who you are.
And, you know, I think about that a lot of a lot of times
thinking about, OK, when did I actually know who I actually was
(32:42):
as a person? And it happened to my late
daddies. You know, before my late
daddies, I was living somewhere else as well, someone else's
life because either culturally Ididn't, I was just living the
cultural norm or I was too afraid to actually expose who I
really was. Because you build up this whole
persona for who you are and thenit's.
Facade, right? Yeah, it's Facade.
And then one day you actually went.
(33:03):
But this is not what I stand up for, and it's not who I am.
So I love, I love the way you shared this story about, you
know, it's not just about finding the right person, it's
about finding your values. Absolutely.
You have to know who you are, what you stand for, in order to
know who you'll be best be matched with, right?
That's what. Exactly.
Yeah. And and have peace, right?
(33:23):
Yes, have peace. Peace is important.
Peace is totally important and now as you, you never get away
from speech writing and thinkingabout where you where you are
now. What are you most excited about
over the that's coming up for you?
I know you a book is coming up for you, but the speaking has
come up for you. As you think about Sneha as a
professional and as a person individually, what are the two
(33:44):
things that you're looking forward to as a person and as a
professional? Yeah, so I, I definitely have
pivoted and that's a great thingand a scary thing all at the
same time, right? Because you don't know what you
don't know, right? So I think it's been very
exciting to 1, own my voice. I think I had cut my own mic for
(34:08):
a long time because whether it was pain or insecurity or what
have you, I was more comfortableamplifying, amplifying other
people's voices rather than using my own.
I think I got really comfortablewith that.
And at a certain point I realized, wait, I have things to
say and things to offer that I don't need to be behind the
(34:31):
curtain, right? I can also be on the stage, not
an ego way, but in the sense if I have something to offer the
world and I want to give meaningand purpose to my career and to
others around me, right? So I'm really excited about my
book coming up. Cut to the essence.
It'll be out May 2026. You can here's my shameless
(34:54):
plug. Here we go.
Go to snehav.com. If you sign up, you'll get early
access to my book and I'll drop drop some chapters down the road
and things like that. So we'd love to get a community
to give me feedback about what I'm writing as I'm writing.
So I'm really excited about the book because it's helped me
(35:15):
unpack the cut in in ways that Ididn't anticipate.
Because people think of the cut and they think of it as like a
time management tool or an efficiency hack or decluttering
your closet, right? But it's so much more than that.
It's it permeates like every aspect of our life and every
decision we make is through the lens of our values.
(35:37):
What's most important. Time is short, right?
All those things, everything should pass through that filter.
So I'm really excited about the book.
It's been great. I will be done with my first
full draft at the end of the month.
And yeah, that's, that feels like an accomplishment.
We're going to celebrate after that.
And yeah. And then I'm going to set it
(35:57):
aside for a little bit and come back to it and it'll be out in
May. I'm really, really excited about
that. And it's been a fun process, not
just as a writer, because as a writer, a book is the the
pinnacle right, of your career. You want to produce a book that
is published in red. But it's also, it's also my act
(36:21):
of resistance in some ways, in the sense of it's my recognition
is probably the better word thatlife is short and I need to
accomplish the things I want to do because you only get one
chance on this earth, right? So I, it's been great to kind of
take it by the horns and like just really dive into it.
(36:44):
And also as an emerging speaker,I'm really excited to share this
message on stages, right, And get people, hopefully help
people think through their life in a different framework.
And I would, I'm really excited about that as well.
It's just, it's a really, it's an interesting time when
everything is kind of stripped away and you look at the future,
(37:04):
you know what is coming. I don't know.
I don't know what my future holds.
I believe someone holds my future, but I don't know what's
coming, right? So it's, it's a crazy, crazy
ride and I'm I'm here for it. Jump on Hey, jump on.
This is great. We'll, we'll check the, the
website on the in the show notesas well for those of you that
want to have early access, because why not?
(37:25):
Early access is great. Great.
So now there's so much passion there in what you just said.
And one thing I want to touch onthough, is you've missed this a
few times, is the concept of time is short and death.
Has there been something in yourworld that has made that a
reality for you? Or is this a realization through
some other means? I think I had a early awareness
(37:48):
of it because the passing of time has always been something
I'm conscious of. But there were, there was
definitely a few occasions, verycritical occasions where that
hit home for me. Some years ago, my best friend's
son actually died. He had, he was seven years old,
I believe, when he died. He had a very rare disease
(38:08):
called SCN 8A and what it meant was that he had severe Arrested
Development and also seizures pretty much all the time.
And he couldn't stand, he wasn'tverbal, couldn't walk.
He would just he would make certain sounds and one of them
(38:29):
said Auntie Sneh, and they interpret it for me.
So then I learned to recognize it.
So it was the sweetest sound in the world, right, hearing him
say that he was just so full of joy.
And we would FaceTime together and wiggle our noses at each
other and, you know, make faces and just just a joy.
So the loss of him was really tragic.
(38:50):
I remember getting the phone call and it just reminded me
that we don't know how long we have and we don't know, you
know, especially when a parent loses a child like my friend
did. That's the inverse of what
should be, right? We, we prepare ourselves to bury
our parents, but I don't think you're ever prepared to bury a
child, right? So I think that really shook me.
(39:14):
Also, there have been some illnesses that have touched my
family. Cancer has touched my family.
And I think when you get that, that grave diagnosis, you
realize time is really short andwhat am I going to focus on?
What am I going to set aside? What's really going to matter at
the end of all of this? So mortality is something I'm
really aware of and I think that's a great filter for my
(39:36):
life because coming back to peace, right?
If you have this filter of life is short, then is that argument
really worth it, right? Like, do I really need to harp
on that item right there, or is it something worth letting go?
Because in the in the scheme of things, it's not that big of a
deal, right? So it it comes down to the small
(39:58):
things, but also the big things,the big choices we make.
And yeah, the. Brevity of life is something
that I I'm conscious of all the time, my grandfather often said,
recited a verse. Teach us to number our days,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
And I think that's really wise that we realize we have limited
amount of time and we should spend it wisely.
(40:21):
That's, and I love that because I wanted to bring us back
because you mentioned a few times and ironically, I was
listening to podcast the other day, we, the guest spoke about
the fact that we're all dying every day.
We're all dying. This is it.
The minute you're born, you're dying the way you die.
It could be a class and it couldbe a disease, whatever it is,
but we all live in an illusion that we're all immortal.
(40:45):
And until something happens and you know, as your grandfather
said, saying, but also as you know, the stoic philosophy of
momentum worry, and I remember that you're dying when you have
that length, as you said before,everything else just becomes
really superficial. You know, you think about when
you go to work and you have thisthing you like actually doesn't
actually matter. I mean, the scheme of life, it
(41:07):
doesn't actually matter. And I love that you brought, yet
you bring that into your into your cut methodology as well,
because you know, a lot of methodologies we have out there
about being efficient and about being productive and increasing
KPS, increasing money, increasing all these things,
tangible things. But I love how your tea actually
stands for wait a minute, you'rehere for X amount of time and
how do you make that X more value by reducing Y?
(41:31):
Sure. Like if you know, if we live to
be 80, we have like 4160 weeks of our life, right?
So. We, I thought you, I thought you
were better at maths. Yeah.
Well, I did well in arithmetic, but algebra, that's another
story. Algebra and above was kind of a
disaster, but we have, yeah. When you think about how short
(41:53):
it is, it really puts things in perspective, right?
And why do I need to accumulate,accumulate, accumulate?
Maybe I should give give give, right?
Yeah, exactly. And I'm talking about well-being
and health and all that kind of fun stuff there.
How do you look after yourself? What is your?
Isn't that hard time? We have a walking pad, probably
(42:15):
best investment of the last couple years.
It was it was really inexpensiveon Amazon.
I'm not, I'm not doing a productplacement or anything.
And so I won't, I won't go further, but great, great
investment of I just get on thatand it's my time to sing.
I turn the music up really loud.That's one way I do self-care.
(42:35):
I pray on that walking pad. I sing really loud.
My poor husband. So music, something that really,
really takes care of me as a wayto of self-care walking is
really great, especially becauseI take walking very seriously
because I have a condition or have had a condition and is
(42:58):
intermittent now where sometimesI can't walk.
And so I think I take every stepas grace, right.
So to be able to be on a walkingpad the last couple years has
been a tremendous blessing because I have had times where
I've had to crawl because I couldn't walk.
So I think that's a a mode of self-care that I don't take for
(43:18):
granted. And I am very obsessive about
nutrition. I am like the antioxidant queen.
So I take, I take nutrition veryseriously and I'm constant.
I'm the annoying person that always has some tidbit about
what this food does for you and doesn't do for you or what
(43:39):
vitamin you can get from that. So nutrition is one way of
self-care as well Do. You want to share one with us?
Anything. Any just out of interest?
Well, chocolate is a super food as we all know, right?
Dark chocolate. There we go, dark chocolate.
Here we go. Take your magnesium.
Very good. Like 600 functions in your body.
(43:59):
Yeah. So random pieces of information
will come out in the course of ameal.
Yeah. That's great.
Yeah, We're not. Shearing is caring, right?
Shearing is. Yeah.
Exactly. How beautiful.
And I love that, you know, we always ask our guests about, you
know, how they look after themselves because we all live
busy lives. And as Thomas did just at the
start as well, you know, he's been to the gym three times this
(44:19):
week here. And some people might go like
only three times where others might go, wow, three times.
And some might go, what's the gym?
You know? But it's it's, it's really
beautiful that, you know, you'vealso shared that you know your
well-being. And it doesn't have to be the
gym. It can be music, it can be
singing, it can be whatever it is.
But you've got to have time for yourself.
Absolutely. It's very important.
(44:40):
I mean, to your title of basketsof knowledge, if our basket
isn't full, right, we have nothing to give, right?
So have to have to make sure that we're well taken care of,
definitely. Tony, Tony, any questions for us
now that that you're pondering? I think something I was just
thinking about is where did the concept of cut originate from?
(45:01):
Like, how did you, you know, come up with the idea of those
cuts? That's a great question.
It, it came out of a lot of reflection, but it also came out
of thinking back over my life. My dad was my inspiration for
the cut. He's the most focused person I
know. And I would, as I said, sneak
(45:22):
into his office. But I would do that and I would
climb into his arms when I was akid and I'd watch him write in
the margins, very distinct handwriting.
And what he was doing was distilling things.
He is a preacher. And so he was distilling
different ideas and cutting themdown to the essence, right?
So I had that instilled like youneed to clarify certain things.
(45:44):
And he's he's very focused, as Isaid.
So I think all of it came together, whether it was the
treasure of the time, from the losses I've seen and
experienced, uncovering the essence was through realizing
that sometimes we just have to get granular, right and really
focus on the most important thing because we get distracted
(46:05):
by so many things. So it was just, it was kind of
burst out of my life, you know, just various experiences that
came to this realization of thisis my framework for living
actually. And I think I think it's a
pretty good framework. So I want to share it and it it
serves me well and I think it will serve so many people well.
(46:27):
Yeah, no, totally, totally. And I think, you know, I'm
really, really love how this story came about because as what
I'm noticing is that it started very, very young.
And I think this is, this is important reminder to to all of
us, I guess listening that the stories we tell ourselves, the
stories that we have developed over time.
You know, as you said, you were with your dad in his arms.
(46:48):
And some of the times we don't stop and think about where this
actually come from. Where does what I'm doing today
actually come from? Why am I doing what I why I'm
doing that? It's a beautiful.
It's a beautiful, I guess go back to your family and your
father about the influence they've had in your in your
life. Yeah, definitely.
Tremendous impact. Just great models of, of living
with clarity, right, Living withpurpose and living poised with
(47:12):
strength. So they've been a tremendous,
tremendous blessing. Yeah.
Which is wonderful. So now, are there any parts of
this that your story we haven't shared that you'd like to share?
You know, because there's only so much we can tell on the
Internet, but you live your lifeand anything you'd like to share
that we have left out? Anything I'd like to share?
(47:33):
I think I would talk just briefly about cut in terms of
our words. Coming from a speech writer,
writer perspective, I think about that a lot too, how we
must weigh our words very carefully, like the weight of
our words and how we often need to cut the talk that we're
(47:55):
giving to ourselves, our self talk and also the talk about
other people, right. So I think that's really
critical because you know, you can say a cruel word and it will
not just leave it actually lodges in people's heart, right.
So I think really watching our our words in terms of how we
talk to people and even how we talk to children, right?
(48:17):
And especially I think about it from the perspective of a woman,
like how I think it's so damaging that women talk so much
part of a society's problem, of course, but about their
dissatisfaction with their weight, right?
Because then young girls are thinking there's something wrong
with me too, right? So they're hearing things that
I'm not acceptable, I'm not worthy, all of these things.
(48:42):
And it embeds in their psyche. So again, the words that we say
have a lot of power, right? And I think we also need to
remember how we're speaking to people.
Maybe we don't praise them for their achievements so much,
right? Because we've done very little
when it comes to our brains, ourbeauty or our brawn, right?
Like that's just given to us. But maybe we should use our
(49:03):
words to praise our character, you know, our choices, the way
we treat other people. So I think about that in terms
of the cut to like, what kind ofwhat kind of language are we
using towards ourselves and towards others?
Like how's our self talk? How's our talk to others and how
are we using our words? You know, even as a writer,
(49:24):
right? Like what am I choosing to keep
and what am I choosing to cut? Like editing is really important
to the writing process, right? Like first drafts should rarely
see the light of day. Like you really need to work on
it and cut away what doesn't, what doesn't fit and what
doesn't belong. So I think we need to do that in
our in our language as well. That is my that is the world I
(49:47):
live in and how that is the world where I just talk about
language and words matter. And I always think about I don't
know if we've heard this, this nursery rhyme or rhyme, but that
goes sticks and stones may breakmy bones, but names will never
hurt me. And I'm like, that is the
totally wrong thing. And how do we teach people this?
And it's the total opposite, right?
And it's, it's so powerful language in matters.
(50:08):
And you know, I just said before, just by calling someone
overweight or under whatever phraseology, that label that
you've given them is going to scar them.
And you're not going to see it, but it's going to hurt you more
than than a stick or a stone because you can't see it and it
just fistes away and fistes away.
And then one day it'll just comeon whatever that comes with it.
So yeah, I think I love the way you you have talked about the
(50:30):
cut in terms of self talk, but also the words we use or or or
don't use as well words. Not.
Using words is just as as as harmful.
Sometimes that's. A great cut too.
Yeah, Yeah, that's right. Exactly.
Oh, beautiful. See, I love, I love that, that
value add and I'm so glad I asked you about that because
that's a that's a great way to Segway into our until our final
question. I say final question because we
(50:52):
can keep talking forever, but we've been on for an hour or so
and you know, time is precious and I know you've, you've got
things to do. But our podcast is called Passes
of Knowledge, and every week we invite our guests to share a
piece of knowledge to put into our basket.
Myself, Tani and our listeners, you shared some amazing pieces
of knowledge, but is there any one piece of knowledge you'd
(51:14):
like to leave us with as we close the podcast today?
That's a great question. Give me one minute to pause.
Not one minute. I won't take a minute.
That's right. I think, you know, I wrote this
(51:35):
in my book and I think it Harkins back to something I said
earlier, but I think whether we trip or whether we triumph,
persistence beats perfection. And I think that's really
important, that we have to persist and that progress is
more important than perfection. So I think embrace persistence,
(51:56):
give yourself permission and shed perfection.
I love that embrace persistence and shared perfection.
What a beautiful, what a beautiful piece of knowledge.
And I think it's important for everyone of us because how many
times do we fail using verticalness in the world?
We fail, and then we just stop. And how many times do we fail
(52:17):
and stand up again and we grow. So I love that fact.
Yeah. Yeah.
And excellence is not doing everything perfectly all the
time, right? It's just doing the right things
well and persisting. So I think it's not that we
don't do things excellently, we just don't tie ourself up into
knots to do something impossible, right.
(52:38):
Yeah, perfection is impossible. It's impossible.
Yeah, it's impossible. Yeah.
Beautiful. Tony.
Last words. Oh, just a message.
Thank you. Have a gifts from me, you know,
to jump on the podcast. That's been very insightful and
I've definitely taken a lot awayfrom what you've had to say now.
So, yeah, thanks. Thank you both.
(53:00):
No worries, pleasure. Thank you so much for jumping
you on. You know, I've, as I said at the
start, you know, I've, I know a snippet of you from our
interactions on ESI, but today you're not really going to
understand and know where the essence of CUECUT comes from,
where the cut comes from. I think it's something that we
can all take away each part of our life.
Even if we implement one of those with the C, EU or the T,
(53:22):
it doesn't actually matter whichone you implement.
Obviously all three is really great.
But if you implement any one of those and clarity the time on
Earth and you know the essence, if you think about those things,
it'll make your life so much, somuch more meaningful, I think.
So thank you for sharing. Thank you for your time.
And we'll put your link in the chat as well.
(53:43):
So in the show notes. Thank you so much jumping on.
Thank you. It's been a pleasure.
Thank you so much. For your help.
No worries for this salty. Hopefully you've learned
something today. If you haven't, it's because you
haven't been listening. Go back and listen again.
Until next time, don't forget tokeep smiling.
Don't forget to put something into your passive knowledge.
And from today, don't forget to implement the cut.
(54:06):
Until next time, take everybody tuck into peace.
Bye. Thank you for listening to
Bastards of Knowledge. Yeah, we hope that you found
something useful to put into your bastard knowledge.
And as we said before, remember to put something little into
your baskets of knowledge every week.
(54:27):
And as always, feel free to like, comment and share this
podcast. Thanks, everybody.
Bye.
Hey everybody, it's Prajesh here.
In Tana here. Welcome to our podcast Passes of
Knowledge chats with a difference.
In our podcast, we invite guestsfrom around the country and
around the world to talk about how they got to where they at
the moment. It's about a journey, it's about
an experience, it's about their life.
(00:26):
Welcome to another episode of Baskets of Knowledge.
Just before I jumped on. We're talking about what number
it is. We've forgotten about the
number. And it also doesn't matter where
you are listing. It could be episode #1 or
episode 169. It doesn't matter.
We're just really glad that you were joining us.
Tony, how are you doing and whatdid you put into your boss's
acknowledgement last book? Yeah, going good.
Thank you. I think probably the biggest
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learning I've had over the last couple of weeks has just been
reflecting on, you know, that wedon't always have to be an
inspiration to others or do all these inspiring things.
I think, you know, as I've continued into this transition
period, there's been a lot of reflection, a lot of changes
that have happened in my life. But I think, you know, I got
(01:08):
like, I went to the gym today and that's the third time this
week and, you know, probably a month ago I wasn't doing very
much for myself in terms of physical activity or, you know,
doing things for me. So I think I've just been
reflecting on, you know, you don't have to be that
inspiration to everybody else. Sometimes you've got to focus on
that in the South. And that's been a hard, I think
a hard challenge for me because I've always been a people
(01:30):
person. So it's definitely been a
reflection and yes, something that I hope to, you know,
utilize to go, you know, sometimes you do have to work on
yourself. How long that takes is, you
know, obviously depends on the person and the situation, but
it's been a really huge reflection.
I think for me to go, it's time to start putting some value back
(01:50):
into myself so I can put value into the people that I work with
or friends, family, etcetera. Yeah, that's a beautiful
reflection because I think a lotof the times we like to give,
give, give, give to be inspiring.
But actually, if you don't look after yourself, you can't do
anything, you know? So it's really important for you
to bring yourself back to that, to ground Ground Zero on your
base and go right, cool. If I can inspire myself, that's
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all that matters at the end of the day.
Now that you, you're all that matters.
If you think about, yeah, about life in general, it sounds a bit
selfish, but actually that's what matters at the end of the
day. And my, my learning is
interesting. I went to this amazing
conference on the other day and it just blew my mind.
But the one thing that, that onephrase that learned that I, that
I really, really picked up was when we navigating storms, we
(02:38):
don't, we don't waste energy navigating the storm.
We waste a lot of energy in resisting the change.
And I was like, Oh, this is whathappens.
How many times do we just resistchange?
And that takes our energy. And you know, that really got me
thinking about anything that we do in life, the resistance of
change is we waste our energy. And I think our speaker today
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might have talked about some of that in a different way as we as
we go through the conversation. But hey, enough about us.
As you know, we can keep speaking forever, but it's not
about us. It is our pleasure, our our
absolute, absolute honor to invite our guests on today.
This is a guest that I got to meet, I guess a few months ago
through a, a program that we're both doing.
(03:22):
And I've heard them speaking a few, a few times.
They actually woke up at 2:00 AMto give a talk to us here in New
Zealand, which is amazing dedication. 2:00 AM or 1:00 AM.
It was crazy time. Whatever it was, it was pretty
crazy, but over the last few months I've got to know them and
their message. But beyond their message, they
have, they have a career path, been a career that's really
exciting and really interesting,but also full of lots of
(03:44):
learnings, I guess. And hopefully we get to go
through those today. Welcome to bosses of Knowledge
Now. Thank you.
Thank you, Prajesh. Thank you, Tony.
It's such a pleasure to be here.Thank you for inviting me.
I love this cross country, not cross country, cross world,
cross global interaction, right?So I'd love that we're able to
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do this also at a decent time for me.
So thank you for that. Exactly.
You know, it's only 2:00 PM in New Zealand and it's 7:00 PM in,
in, in your part of the world. Beautiful, beautiful.
We can't complain, can we? And for people who know nothing
about you, they're not as lucky as I to have to have met you.
Who who is now today on the 10thof August or 9th of August for
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you? On the 9th of August yes, I'm
living in your past so things are still OK Hope the future
looks good too. Sneha today is AI my Let me tell
you a little bit about background before I move to
today. So my background is as a
journalist. I was a newspaper journalist for
(04:46):
a few years, and then I went into what I call creative
recovery. I escaped the business right as
the newspaper industry was beginning to tank.
And I went to grad school and I focused on fiction.
Actually, I got a writing degreein fiction, and after that I
went into higher Ed communications, which was an
(05:07):
interesting journey because it feels like you went on the dark
side from a journalist's perspective.
You went to the the PR side, butit's actually a really great
shift in terms of feature writing and working with people
who are really at the peak of knowledge and discovery and
learning. And so it's just a great
learning experience. And from there I, somebody
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believed in me. So I started writing speeches
for the college presidents, two of them there.
And it was amazing because my background is I'm a preacher's
daughter, granddaughter and great granddaughter.
So I've heard a lot of speeches in my life.
So it's something I think that'skind of embedded in me.
And it was great to be able to use that to help leaders
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articulate what they want to sayand express themselves in
creative ways and new contexts. And from there, I went to UCLA
and I was the executive speech writer for the chancellor there.
So I recently left a few months ago and I'm moving into the
speaking space, an emerging speaker, but also independent as
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a writer. And that's my professional
journey. I live in Los Angeles and make
my home with a wonderful husband, my first and last
husband, and he is from Ecuador.I am from India with a great
intercultural marriage and I grew up in a place called Rancho
Cucamonga. It's a real place people often
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ask, but it was a great place togrow up and I'm a California
native and love it and love would love the chance to come to
New Zealand. That would be amazing.
Oh, amazing, amazing. I love that.
I love that because you know, there's, like we said, there's
two sides to everybody. There's the professional side
and there's the personal side. And you've, you've spoken and
touched on each of those, which is really beautiful.
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I'm going to start, start back at your journey being a
journalist. Was there something that you
always wanted to do? Was there something that fell
into your lap because of of life, I guess.
That's a great question. So I grew up always reading.
My nose was always in a book. I actually didn't know where I
lived until I started driving because I was always reading in
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the car. So I couldn't, I couldn't find
my way home. I was just a bookworm.
And so I think writing was a natural progression, but it
actually came to me. It crystallized for me in
college. It was my third year of college.
I was in my dorm. I was sick, sick, sick.
I was so sick and I couldn't bring myself to do anything.
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But I picked up two books by Anne Lamott. 1 is Bird by Bird,
and the other one is Traveling Mercies and Bird by Bird is a
book on writing. I finished that book and I just
knew I was like, this is what I need to do.
I need to be a writer. It just came together in the
middle of that illness in that dark room with that book, you
know, as I'm squinting my eyes trying to read it.
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And it just all came together atthat moment.
And a couple months later, I gotan internship at a newspaper
through a contact that we had a friend and just jumped in with
both feet. My first story was actually a
front page story. It was on the Women's World Cup
and I had to sneak in, sneak into the stadium.
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I had no press credentials, but I had to sneak into the stadium,
find my way in and interview. So that was my journey to
journalism. And I, I love the journalism
experience because similar to what you do here on Baskets of
Knowledge, it's a study in humanbehavior and the human
condition, right? You meet all kinds of people,
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all kinds of people in all kindsof situations.
And so it's just a fascinating study of who we are, why we do
it, we do what motivates us. So that was my journalism
journey. You know, what's a, what's a
beautiful place now is the moment it happened.
It's still memorable right now, you know, you remember the oops,
you remember that moment there. As you said, the crystallizing
moment is so, so, so clear for you.
(09:03):
And, and as you think about thatmoment there and when you spoke
to your parents, the hey, parents, this is my pathway.
What is their reaction? And it's always interesting
about parents reactions because,you know, parents always react
to other oh, yay, what is what is the reaction for you?
They were immensely supportive. They were always, they were
never the kind that said you have to do XY or Z and these are
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your only options. My both of them were always
supportive. My father always said he needed
to focus on your strengths. And you know, which is great,
especially when you think about things like aptitudes and how
we're wired. He always said focus on your
strengths. And so my strength is strictly
creative writing, history, all those subjects that the math
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side of my brain is not fully developed.
So I had no other choice I but to go into writing.
And it was just, they were supersupportive.
My dad kind of fed my habit of reading my whole life.
He has a office with literally thousands of books covering the
walls. And so I grew up sneaking into
that office and grabbing books and reading things.
(10:09):
And so he always cultivated thatand I would always save up my
babysitting money to go buy either books or music.
And whenever he came with me to the bookstore, like I'd kind of
slip a book into his hand and hecould never resist not buying it
for me. So they were very supportive of
my writing journey and excited and always, always affirming of
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my gifts, which is a gift to me,right, to have that support in a
somewhat non traditional route of career.
So. Yeah, and, and and as you say,
it's not traditional, right, Because, you know, I, I'm going
to think about stereotypes. You know, when you think about
Indian stereotypes families, they think about, you know,
engineer, doctor, lawyer. And the same thing with me when
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I chose my career pathway, I wasvery lucky my parents, my mom's
a doctor and my dad's in the health field, but they were both
like wouldn't actually care. You just do whatever you want.
Use use just just strengths to find to find your passion.
Even today, they, you know, they're still my, my heroes.
And they're like, very cool. What are you doing now?
What's, what's, what are you up to?
It's not about a title status, which is really beautiful.
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I'd say it's not traditional in a lot of senses there.
But what I did notice now is theword sneak.
You sneaked, you sneak, you snuck into the Women's World Cup
and you also snuck into your dad's office to do some reading.
Is that a bit of a trend there? I actually had a nickname
someone gave me when I was really little, and it was Sneaky
Lou. So I guess I have that kind of
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surreptitious. I always wanted to be a spy.
That was one of my secret desires, you know?
But that didn't work out, so I went for the writing and.
Journalist, boy, you know, same sort of thing.
Yeah, it's kind. Of on the same wavelength,
right? Yeah, it's easy.
And, and as you started your journalist journey, what, what
are some of the, the challenges that you faced in And I, and I
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put this in a, in phraseology, because we, we just read media.
We don't see what goes on in theback end as you're trying to
write those stories and what stories actually people are
going to read. Because again, it's a career
pathway you have, you have people to reply to or respond
to. How did you find that place
there before we shifted? You know, you spoke about the
people, which is great, but the job itself, what is that like?
(12:16):
The job itself is very, it's pretty brutal actually,
depending on what beat you have.Even if you I had kind of a
community general news sort of scope in my in my writing, and
I'm really grateful I did because some people had the City
Council right or some people hadcrime right.
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And what I saw was that it's a very people are very committed
and driven. We unfortunately, media has
shifted to a corporate right, corporate institution, but
really behind it are really great people who really do
strive to seek the truth and print it, whatever their own
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biases might be. And we all have biases, right?
But I saw that people were very hard working and very determined
to get to the bottom of things. I met some of the most
incredible people, one I'm stillvery close to today.
We exchanged writing and read each other's work.
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So builds great relationships and I think the occupation is
very unforgiving in the sense ofI would see people at one night
I had a meeting that went to like midnight that I was
covering for the newspaper. And the next morning there was
like, it was at 5:00 AM, you know, that was my next story.
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So there's, there was no break, right, for some of those
stories. And that was true more for the
other people in The Newsroom 'cause I was still a very young
reporter. But it was, I saw that it wasn't
a career path from what I was observing, that was very family
friendly in the sense of you didn't have space to cultivate
relationships or be at home even, right.
(14:10):
So I think that was that was something I observed that I
wanted to do something a little different than that.
So. Yeah, and I, I love the take
there because, you know, we see lots of people that want to be
journalists and it's great. Storytelling is fantastic and
social is amazing. But as you said before, when you
live in a world where it's the corporate institute versus a
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person centric institute, it just changes things just a
little bit. You know, in in, in the world,
in the modern world view, there's a he's saying that goes,
what's the most important thing in the world?
And it's the people, the people,the people.
I think, you know, we can we cansafely say that at at this point
in time that's being eroded in the way the media think of
things. Yeah, that's my my thoughts
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there. Any any thoughts on that met
there? Definitely.
I would totally agree. Like, I think the corporate
takeover of the media is really just been a disaster, right?
Because it becomes driven by interest, not by the truth.
So I think that's made it reallydifficult.
So much misinformation, disinformation, you know,
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alternative facts like things that just really are not
journalism, right? So I think that makes it really
challenging. People have to be really
critical thinkers and read widely to to know what the truth
is. And I think unfortunately, we
like to confirm our biases. So we only read or watch the
things that align with the things we believe, right.
So I think from a former journalist perspective, you
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know, it's like it's we need to do better than that, right?
We need to take a a broader view, read news from other
countries, read news from the opposite side of the spectrum.
So I think, yeah, the people arewhat make it valuable.
And I guess it's much harder nowbecause, you know, I think about
when I was growing up and I'm sure when you're going as well,
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you you could you could choose different news, news to watch.
You had you had you had choice. But the choice wasn't 24 hours.
It was OK, cool news would be from 6:00.
And I said there was not 24 newscycles.
So you just knew it was what wasthere.
But now you just watch the same thing over and over and over and
over again. And you're starting to create
news, right, because it's a 24 hour news cycle.
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You have to fill those hours, right?
So you get really bad reporting.You get people that are just
reporting on things as they comein reporting quote, but they're
actually just telling you what just came in.
There's no reporting that's beeninvolved, right, because they
have to keep keep the cameras rolling and keep the show going.
So I think that's really been tothe detriment.
The 24 hour news cycle is is nota good thing and.
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And when I see you, I see a, a strong, powerful women and what
you do. But what's it like for you in
that field as a, as a, as a, as a young lady, I guess navigating
not just the journalism, but also when you stepped into the
speech writing as as a young person?
As a young person, I'll be honest, it was overwhelming,
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right? It was overwhelming because you
come in. The beauty of journalism is
you're always free to ask any question.
I think I love that about journalism.
There really is no stupid question, right?
You're that's your job. Is that the question?
So even if you know the answer, you still need to ask the
question, right? So I think I came in a little
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insecure about that. So it took time to build up that
security and it wasn't because the environment was negative, it
was just something internal thathad to shift, that had to own
like this is my space as well and I can occupy it.
So I think it, it was a journey in terms of in, in my whole
writing journey, coming to a place where I can really own my
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writing, own my creativity and step out in confidence with it.
Yeah. And as you speak about that, the
when, when did it happen for you?
Because you know, and I asked when in Kardashian marks,
because we're always evolving and I love the fact that you
said it wasn't, it wasn't environment, you know, too often
blame the environment, but sometimes we've got to go, like
Tony said before, internally. What, what, what?
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Where does it come from internally?
Yeah, Where does it come from internally?
The confidence in my writing, I think when it comes from
practice, right, you have to keep, as they say, go to the
woodshed and chopping wood, right?
Like you just, you just chop wood again and again and again.
Otherwise it's just practice. Practice makes perfect.
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It's muscle memory. And so I think being in
different contexts, like, and then going to grad school and
being able to write in all kindsof genres, whether it was
screenplay, poetry, fiction, nonfiction, little bit of technical
writing, not my not my strong suit, but we can take a class in
that. I think it was practice being
able to do that again and again and growing into my voice.
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And again, I, it was a process, right?
Like what I wrote then, I would not right now because my voice
has changed over time. So it's, it's a growth process
in a sense of stepping into yourown voice.
Is, is a process definitely. Yeah.
And I'm just going to, I'm just going to touch a little bit into
your into where you are now. So if we think about the growth
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process and we think about the cuts, what did you have to cut
out for you to for the growth process?
Then you can also talk about what the cut is as well, for
instance. Yeah, so I talk about a method
called the Cut, the Cut Method, and it's an acronym and it
stands for see Clarify Your values.
You uncover the essence and T treasure the time.
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And what it is, is a philosophy that we must subtract to expand
and that we must make strategic cuts in order to live a life of
poise and purpose. So I think what I had to cut was
a lot of insecurity, right? You cut that through realizing,
oh, I've just shut down my own voice and that's that's not
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serving me well, right? I've had to cut ego sometimes,
right? Where you just realize you need
to be more humble, right? You cut perfectionism.
I think I've really learned to lean into permission, not
perfection. I think that's a very important
distinction. And that's not.
And say you don't do excellent work, but you have to,
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especially as a writer, give yourself permission, right?
If you don't let go of perfectionism, you'll never put
anything out in the world, right?
So it's, I think perfectionism can be our undoing.
And we really just need to give ourselves permission to take
action. You know, as we say, with
clarity and confidence come withaction, right?
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But I'd also say that clarity and confidence come with
subtraction, right? We have to take certain things
away to see more clearly. So that's that's those are
different kinds of cuts I've hadto make.
I think that's the essence of what it is, is deciding what are
my values in this context, What's most important, what
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makes me tick, what makes me getup in the morning?
What do I want to be remembered for at the end of time, right?
And what's what's what's the most important versus what's
expected? That would be the EU the uncover
the essence, right? What's because essence is the
very being the central thing, the main idea, right.
So what is that thing? And then T we have to treasure
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the time. We have to realize that life is
short. And I have a really keen sense
of life's brevity. So I think that's really
informed the cuts that I make. Yeah.
And and you know what's so what's so beautiful about that
there because as we saw the podcast, Tana spoke about what
is biggest learning was in Tana.As you think about what's NEA
said about the cuts, how do you see that relates back to what
you're going through right now? Yeah, it, it definitely
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resonates with what I've been going through.
And I think that's, it's crucialto have that knowledge to have
some meaningful, you know, parameters of what you're trying
to do and what you're trying to,to achieve.
Because I think sometimes we, you know, we often just go out
as the way it is and we don't actually reflect on what we can,
(22:12):
you know, use the cut for. So it's very insightful for
sure. Yeah.
You know, as you said, and Antonio and I think myself as
well, you know, in our worlds welive with and and, and and.
But actually, when you take away, you actually start adding
more value to the things that you actually have in life.
It's so true. It's so true.
We think cuts diminish us, you know, but they're actually
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enlarging us. We're making space for the most
important thing, and so we can live larger, not smaller.
We play a bigger, better game ifwe cut and focus on the one
thing versus everything, right? It's really funny when I I'm
like my coaching clients, I always say to them when you try
to do everything, you end up doing nothing.
Absolutely. Because you know, and it's, but
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it's so hard for us to cut because as you said, the biggest
thing is ego. Ego is the biggest thing that we
all. That's the number one thing for
us to cut and it's the hardest thing for us to cut.
Definitely, because we believe we get our value from what we
do, right. And if we believe that, then we
constantly need to add things toour To Do List, right?
Because that's where your meaning lies.
But if we believe something different, then we have to act
(23:18):
differently, right? So.
Certainly so true. And you know, I, I love this,
this cut methodology. How did that come up for you?
Because as you said before, you journalists, you're writing
speeches, which is all adding. It's all adding.
You know, if you think about where you've come from, you're
adding value to the world. You're adding content for people
(23:38):
to speak about. You're adding.
When did you go? Actually, wait a minute, let me
start removing to add that. I mean, I think it's been what I
call a growing, knowing where it's repeated mistakes and then
realizing, oh, I should do that differently next time.
I think there have been times where I've had to, let's go to
(24:00):
college, for instance, when I was overwhelmed.
I was doing great in the class, but I thought, you know what, my
health is more important right now.
I'm driving myself into a ditch and I am going to cut this
class. Not cut as in not go, but cut as
in just leave, you know, unenroll from that class, which
is when you're a used to being atop student.
(24:23):
That's not what you do, right? But actually, I think sometimes
that's the most important thing to do is realize your
limitations and and acknowledge,you know, we're not as strong as
we think we are. And that's OK.
And also that we need to draw a boundary, right?
And I think we need to remember no is a complete sentence,
right? It's OK to say no to certain
(24:45):
things and then get really granular, right?
And also figure out, OK, what's important versus what's
expected. So I think for me, burnout
started really early in high school.
I was just, I did a million things.
I was like 2 hands, a dozen plates, right?
So I was the baccalaureate soloist, graduation speaker.
(25:10):
I swept the senior awards ceremony.
I led the campus fellowship, choir, mock trial, girls state
academic Decathlon. My plate was really full, right?
But I just realized at one pointI was having canker sores.
And that sounds like a minor thing, but I get so many that I
couldn't eat or drink. Like it was just very painful
(25:31):
for me, which is a sign of stress, right?
Because anxiety, anxiety and stress can cause that.
And so it was very internalized.Like externally I was very
poised and powerful, right? But internally, something was
definitely going on for me, thislatent anxiety.
But you could see the anxiety inmy mouth, right?
So different things like that. And I just fell apart One day, I
(25:53):
didn't even anticipate it. I just ran into a trusted
teacher's classroom and I just fell into her arms weeping.
And I didn't have words for whatI was feeling, but I just cried
and cried and cried. And I realized I am just
overwhelmed. And I think college was a
different path for me where I just limited the things that I
(26:15):
did, right? Like, I think you really realize
your limitations at a certain point.
And if you burn out too early, you can't sustain that at a
different time, right? So I think, I think it's a real
problem. And this is not going to get me
invited to speak at any high schools.
But I think it's a real problem,right?
When we have this mentality of you need to add, add, add, add
to be able to get into college, right?
(26:36):
Versus like, why don't you focuson the few things that you're
really good at versus just trying to accomplish a million
things, right? And you, what you have is a
burned out generation. So I think, I think it's really
sad actually. Yeah, it's really powerful that
you shared that there because you know, as I said before, you,
you are, you are strong, you're powerful.
But we will have moments when life wasn't that way there.
(26:59):
And you know, as you shared you,you bent out and I love the fact
how you speak about I, when I work in high schools and I have
all these young people that wantto do everything.
You read the CVS. I'm like, what, when do you have
time to sleep? Like, how do you, why are you
doing all these things here? And I think Tony resonates to
this as well. And people are doing things
because this, they put on this CV because it's good for
(27:20):
university, good for scholarships, good for, but are
you actually living in living inthe moments?
And, and The thing is also schools are doing the same
thing. Because if I see Sneha and Tony
that are doing all the things I can put into my school
prospectus and go look at these amazing students, I'll bring,
you know, back to that, the whole corporate, corporate thing
which goes out there, which is, which is quite sad.
I think. Tonya, you can, we've spoke
(27:41):
about this many times for us about your burnouts.
And as you hear about this Tonya, how do you what?
What does that bring your feet as you hear how stay as you
said, that's her story. Yeah, I think it's definitely,
yeah, something that you reflecton.
And I think, you know, a lot of the times we talk about
hindsight and how it's a beautiful thing.
But I think, you know, and I think so it depends on your
(28:01):
situation. You know, for me, I think the
one fortunate thing I had was, you know, support around me.
I had supportive parents and supportive friends.
So it was never a pressure to oran expectation to go and do
that. I put the expectation on myself.
And I think that's also another side of the narrative that we
don't often talk about is the pressure we, you know, often put
(28:21):
on ourselves to go and achieve these things or go and add these
things. And it's not to say that it's
right or wrong, but I think it'sjust to say, you know, to learn
how to manage that internal voice or that internal
expectation that we put on ourselves to achieve or to, you
know, keep adding. And I guess to as, as you
mentioned, you know, to the question and go, why, you know,
(28:42):
why are we adding it? Is it, is it, is there a reason?
And sometimes there is, you know, but sometimes there's, you
know, a bigger equation or a bigger context to look at as
well. Yes, that's so true.
Thanks for having me. And so now I'm I'm going to use
the the cut analogy. What I loved about one of your
one of your sessions, you sharedhow you chose not to follow the
(29:08):
the norms of getting married as an age and you chose to get
married later on in your life, which is great.
Do you want to speak about speakabout that because as you said,
you know, you have your one and only husband, your first and
your last husband. What is that like?
And I said that because again, there's a narrative out there
that you've got a tick set of boxes of certain ages and blah,
(29:28):
blah, blah, blah. And you went, you went totally
against that there, which is great.
Definitely. I got married in my 40s, which
is not especially culturally coming from an Indian background
that's you're considered expiredafter 35, right?
So I think that was very difficult.
It was a very difficult journey because there's a lot of
(29:50):
external pressure culturally andsocially, and I think I was
stubborn. I think that's what really kept
me going is I had a deep sense that it's not worth settling for
just just for the sake of getting married, right?
And so I would meet people or see people and be like, they
(30:12):
don't align with who I am. There's something there that's
missing. And it's not that they need to
be, you know, have 20 things right with them and look like
AGQ model. And, you know, those things
don't last, right? And I think I was aware of that
from the beginning, but I, I didresist and it was very, very
(30:32):
hard because there's a lot of pressure for that.
But I'm so glad I held out. I'm a big fan of waiting to your
40s and 50s to get married. I just can't endorse that enough
because you grow into who you are, right?
And you know who you want to be and who you want to be with.
So I think it brings a lot of clarity going back to the cut.
(30:52):
Like clarity is really importantin knowing what you value.
And it is such a process of elimination, really, right, that
it reminds me of my dad always uses this story where
Michelangelo's asked, how do youcarve an elephant?
And he says, I just take away everything that doesn't look
(31:14):
like an elephant, right? So I think similar to dating and
marriage, you take away everything that doesn't align
with your values, right? And just hold out for the best
rather than second best. And it's, it's a tough Rd.
because culturally society, you know, not just Indian culture,
but society in general, right? It's very much your, your value
(31:36):
comes from who you're attached to.
And it was worth it was worth the wait.
It was worth holding out for thebest.
He's we have a great, great marriage.
It's peace is our central value.And that's been, that's been,
that's been peaceful. It's been very peaceful.
And I think a lot of it comes from being wise and, and waiting
(31:58):
until we found the right person,you know, to who would match our
values. And I think that was really,
really critical. Was there another question in
there? That I think, I think that was
nothing. That was nothing.
And what I, what I, what I really would love to emphasize
there is the fact that you spokeabout finding the right person,
but also it's finding yourself. As you said before, we don't
actually know who we are. You know, when you are in your
(32:21):
team in your teens, you're trying to be cool.
When you're in college, you're still trying to find your way.
It's on. And when you have your first
job, you're trying to find your,you're trying to fit in as well.
You're always fitting in until at some point you go, I'm not
actually fitting in anymore. I'm just living my life.
And that's when you actually realize who you are.
And, you know, I think about that a lot of a lot of times
thinking about, OK, when did I actually know who I actually was
(32:42):
as a person? And it happened to my late
daddies. You know, before my late
daddies, I was living somewhere else as well, someone else's
life because either culturally Ididn't, I was just living the
cultural norm or I was too afraid to actually expose who I
really was. Because you build up this whole
persona for who you are and thenit's.
Facade, right? Yeah, it's Facade.
And then one day you actually went.
(33:03):
But this is not what I stand up for, and it's not who I am.
So I love, I love the way you shared this story about, you
know, it's not just about finding the right person, it's
about finding your values. Absolutely.
You have to know who you are, what you stand for, in order to
know who you'll be best be matched with, right?
That's what. Exactly.
Yeah. And and have peace, right?
(33:23):
Yes, have peace. Peace is important.
Peace is totally important and now as you, you never get away
from speech writing and thinkingabout where you where you are
now. What are you most excited about
over the that's coming up for you?
I know you a book is coming up for you, but the speaking has
come up for you. As you think about Sneha as a
professional and as a person individually, what are the two
(33:44):
things that you're looking forward to as a person and as a
professional? Yeah, so I, I definitely have
pivoted and that's a great thingand a scary thing all at the
same time, right? Because you don't know what you
don't know, right? So I think it's been very
exciting to 1, own my voice. I think I had cut my own mic for
(34:08):
a long time because whether it was pain or insecurity or what
have you, I was more comfortableamplifying, amplifying other
people's voices rather than using my own.
I think I got really comfortablewith that.
And at a certain point I realized, wait, I have things to
say and things to offer that I don't need to be behind the
(34:31):
curtain, right? I can also be on the stage, not
an ego way, but in the sense if I have something to offer the
world and I want to give meaningand purpose to my career and to
others around me, right? So I'm really excited about my
book coming up. Cut to the essence.
It'll be out May 2026. You can here's my shameless
(34:54):
plug. Here we go.
Go to snehav.com. If you sign up, you'll get early
access to my book and I'll drop drop some chapters down the road
and things like that. So we'd love to get a community
to give me feedback about what I'm writing as I'm writing.
So I'm really excited about the book because it's helped me
(35:15):
unpack the cut in in ways that Ididn't anticipate.
Because people think of the cut and they think of it as like a
time management tool or an efficiency hack or decluttering
your closet, right? But it's so much more than that.
It's it permeates like every aspect of our life and every
decision we make is through the lens of our values.
(35:37):
What's most important. Time is short, right?
All those things, everything should pass through that filter.
So I'm really excited about the book.
It's been great. I will be done with my first
full draft at the end of the month.
And yeah, that's, that feels like an accomplishment.
We're going to celebrate after that.
And yeah. And then I'm going to set it
(35:57):
aside for a little bit and come back to it and it'll be out in
May. I'm really, really excited about
that. And it's been a fun process, not
just as a writer, because as a writer, a book is the the
pinnacle right, of your career. You want to produce a book that
is published in red. But it's also, it's also my act
(36:21):
of resistance in some ways, in the sense of it's my recognition
is probably the better word thatlife is short and I need to
accomplish the things I want to do because you only get one
chance on this earth, right? So I, it's been great to kind of
take it by the horns and like just really dive into it.
(36:44):
And also as an emerging speaker,I'm really excited to share this
message on stages, right, And get people, hopefully help
people think through their life in a different framework.
And I would, I'm really excited about that as well.
It's just, it's a really, it's an interesting time when
everything is kind of stripped away and you look at the future,
(37:04):
you know what is coming. I don't know.
I don't know what my future holds.
I believe someone holds my future, but I don't know what's
coming, right? So it's, it's a crazy, crazy
ride and I'm I'm here for it. Jump on Hey, jump on.
This is great. We'll, we'll check the, the
website on the in the show notesas well for those of you that
want to have early access, because why not?
(37:25):
Early access is great. Great.
So now there's so much passion there in what you just said.
And one thing I want to touch onthough, is you've missed this a
few times, is the concept of time is short and death.
Has there been something in yourworld that has made that a
reality for you? Or is this a realization through
some other means? I think I had a early awareness
(37:48):
of it because the passing of time has always been something
I'm conscious of. But there were, there was
definitely a few occasions, verycritical occasions where that
hit home for me. Some years ago, my best friend's
son actually died. He had, he was seven years old,
I believe, when he died. He had a very rare disease
(38:08):
called SCN 8A and what it meant was that he had severe Arrested
Development and also seizures pretty much all the time.
And he couldn't stand, he wasn'tverbal, couldn't walk.
He would just he would make certain sounds and one of them
(38:29):
said Auntie Sneh, and they interpret it for me.
So then I learned to recognize it.
So it was the sweetest sound in the world, right, hearing him
say that he was just so full of joy.
And we would FaceTime together and wiggle our noses at each
other and, you know, make faces and just just a joy.
So the loss of him was really tragic.
(38:50):
I remember getting the phone call and it just reminded me
that we don't know how long we have and we don't know, you
know, especially when a parent loses a child like my friend
did. That's the inverse of what
should be, right? We, we prepare ourselves to bury
our parents, but I don't think you're ever prepared to bury a
child, right? So I think that really shook me.
(39:14):
Also, there have been some illnesses that have touched my
family. Cancer has touched my family.
And I think when you get that, that grave diagnosis, you
realize time is really short andwhat am I going to focus on?
What am I going to set aside? What's really going to matter at
the end of all of this? So mortality is something I'm
really aware of and I think that's a great filter for my
(39:36):
life because coming back to peace, right?
If you have this filter of life is short, then is that argument
really worth it, right? Like, do I really need to harp
on that item right there, or is it something worth letting go?
Because in the in the scheme of things, it's not that big of a
deal, right? So it it comes down to the small
(39:58):
things, but also the big things,the big choices we make.
And yeah, the. Brevity of life is something
that I I'm conscious of all the time, my grandfather often said,
recited a verse. Teach us to number our days,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
And I think that's really wise that we realize we have limited
amount of time and we should spend it wisely.
(40:21):
That's, and I love that because I wanted to bring us back
because you mentioned a few times and ironically, I was
listening to podcast the other day, we, the guest spoke about
the fact that we're all dying every day.
We're all dying. This is it.
The minute you're born, you're dying the way you die.
It could be a class and it couldbe a disease, whatever it is,
but we all live in an illusion that we're all immortal.
(40:45):
And until something happens and you know, as your grandfather
said, saying, but also as you know, the stoic philosophy of
momentum worry, and I remember that you're dying when you have
that length, as you said before,everything else just becomes
really superficial. You know, you think about when
you go to work and you have thisthing you like actually doesn't
actually matter. I mean, the scheme of life, it
(41:07):
doesn't actually matter. And I love that you brought, yet
you bring that into your into your cut methodology as well,
because you know, a lot of methodologies we have out there
about being efficient and about being productive and increasing
KPS, increasing money, increasing all these things,
tangible things. But I love how your tea actually
stands for wait a minute, you'rehere for X amount of time and
how do you make that X more value by reducing Y?
(41:31):
Sure. Like if you know, if we live to
be 80, we have like 4160 weeks of our life, right?
So. We, I thought you, I thought you
were better at maths. Yeah.
Well, I did well in arithmetic, but algebra, that's another
story. Algebra and above was kind of a
disaster, but we have, yeah. When you think about how short
(41:53):
it is, it really puts things in perspective, right?
And why do I need to accumulate,accumulate, accumulate?
Maybe I should give give give, right?
Yeah, exactly. And I'm talking about well-being
and health and all that kind of fun stuff there.
How do you look after yourself? What is your?
Isn't that hard time? We have a walking pad, probably
(42:15):
best investment of the last couple years.
It was it was really inexpensiveon Amazon.
I'm not, I'm not doing a productplacement or anything.
And so I won't, I won't go further, but great, great
investment of I just get on thatand it's my time to sing.
I turn the music up really loud.That's one way I do self-care.
(42:35):
I pray on that walking pad. I sing really loud.
My poor husband. So music, something that really,
really takes care of me as a wayto of self-care walking is
really great, especially becauseI take walking very seriously
because I have a condition or have had a condition and is
(42:58):
intermittent now where sometimesI can't walk.
And so I think I take every stepas grace, right.
So to be able to be on a walkingpad the last couple years has
been a tremendous blessing because I have had times where
I've had to crawl because I couldn't walk.
So I think that's a a mode of self-care that I don't take for
(43:18):
granted. And I am very obsessive about
nutrition. I am like the antioxidant queen.
So I take, I take nutrition veryseriously and I'm constant.
I'm the annoying person that always has some tidbit about
what this food does for you and doesn't do for you or what
(43:39):
vitamin you can get from that. So nutrition is one way of
self-care as well Do. You want to share one with us?
Anything. Any just out of interest?
Well, chocolate is a super food as we all know, right?
Dark chocolate. There we go, dark chocolate.
Here we go. Take your magnesium.
Very good. Like 600 functions in your body.
(43:59):
Yeah. So random pieces of information
will come out in the course of ameal.
Yeah. That's great.
Yeah, We're not. Shearing is caring, right?
Shearing is. Yeah.
Exactly. How beautiful.
And I love that, you know, we always ask our guests about, you
know, how they look after themselves because we all live
busy lives. And as Thomas did just at the
start as well, you know, he's been to the gym three times this
(44:19):
week here. And some people might go like
only three times where others might go, wow, three times.
And some might go, what's the gym?
You know? But it's it's, it's really
beautiful that, you know, you'vealso shared that you know your
well-being. And it doesn't have to be the
gym. It can be music, it can be
singing, it can be whatever it is.
But you've got to have time for yourself.
Absolutely. It's very important.
(44:40):
I mean, to your title of basketsof knowledge, if our basket
isn't full, right, we have nothing to give, right?
So have to have to make sure that we're well taken care of,
definitely. Tony, Tony, any questions for us
now that that you're pondering? I think something I was just
thinking about is where did the concept of cut originate from?
(45:01):
Like, how did you, you know, come up with the idea of those
cuts? That's a great question.
It, it came out of a lot of reflection, but it also came out
of thinking back over my life. My dad was my inspiration for
the cut. He's the most focused person I
know. And I would, as I said, sneak
(45:22):
into his office. But I would do that and I would
climb into his arms when I was akid and I'd watch him write in
the margins, very distinct handwriting.
And what he was doing was distilling things.
He is a preacher. And so he was distilling
different ideas and cutting themdown to the essence, right?
So I had that instilled like youneed to clarify certain things.
(45:44):
And he's he's very focused, as Isaid.
So I think all of it came together, whether it was the
treasure of the time, from the losses I've seen and
experienced, uncovering the essence was through realizing
that sometimes we just have to get granular, right and really
focus on the most important thing because we get distracted
(46:05):
by so many things. So it was just, it was kind of
burst out of my life, you know, just various experiences that
came to this realization of thisis my framework for living
actually. And I think I think it's a
pretty good framework. So I want to share it and it it
serves me well and I think it will serve so many people well.
(46:27):
Yeah, no, totally, totally. And I think, you know, I'm
really, really love how this story came about because as what
I'm noticing is that it started very, very young.
And I think this is, this is important reminder to to all of
us, I guess listening that the stories we tell ourselves, the
stories that we have developed over time.
You know, as you said, you were with your dad in his arms.
(46:48):
And some of the times we don't stop and think about where this
actually come from. Where does what I'm doing today
actually come from? Why am I doing what I why I'm
doing that? It's a beautiful.
It's a beautiful, I guess go back to your family and your
father about the influence they've had in your in your
life. Yeah, definitely.
Tremendous impact. Just great models of, of living
with clarity, right, Living withpurpose and living poised with
(47:12):
strength. So they've been a tremendous,
tremendous blessing. Yeah.
Which is wonderful. So now, are there any parts of
this that your story we haven't shared that you'd like to share?
You know, because there's only so much we can tell on the
Internet, but you live your lifeand anything you'd like to share
that we have left out? Anything I'd like to share?
(47:33):
I think I would talk just briefly about cut in terms of
our words. Coming from a speech writer,
writer perspective, I think about that a lot too, how we
must weigh our words very carefully, like the weight of
our words and how we often need to cut the talk that we're
(47:55):
giving to ourselves, our self talk and also the talk about
other people, right. So I think that's really
critical because you know, you can say a cruel word and it will
not just leave it actually lodges in people's heart, right.
So I think really watching our our words in terms of how we
talk to people and even how we talk to children, right?
(48:17):
And especially I think about it from the perspective of a woman,
like how I think it's so damaging that women talk so much
part of a society's problem, of course, but about their
dissatisfaction with their weight, right?
Because then young girls are thinking there's something wrong
with me too, right? So they're hearing things that
I'm not acceptable, I'm not worthy, all of these things.
(48:42):
And it embeds in their psyche. So again, the words that we say
have a lot of power, right? And I think we also need to
remember how we're speaking to people.
Maybe we don't praise them for their achievements so much,
right? Because we've done very little
when it comes to our brains, ourbeauty or our brawn, right?
Like that's just given to us. But maybe we should use our
(49:03):
words to praise our character, you know, our choices, the way
we treat other people. So I think about that in terms
of the cut to like, what kind ofwhat kind of language are we
using towards ourselves and towards others?
Like how's our self talk? How's our talk to others and how
are we using our words? You know, even as a writer,
(49:24):
right? Like what am I choosing to keep
and what am I choosing to cut? Like editing is really important
to the writing process, right? Like first drafts should rarely
see the light of day. Like you really need to work on
it and cut away what doesn't, what doesn't fit and what
doesn't belong. So I think we need to do that in
our in our language as well. That is my that is the world I
(49:47):
live in and how that is the world where I just talk about
language and words matter. And I always think about I don't
know if we've heard this, this nursery rhyme or rhyme, but that
goes sticks and stones may breakmy bones, but names will never
hurt me. And I'm like, that is the
totally wrong thing. And how do we teach people this?
And it's the total opposite, right?
And it's, it's so powerful language in matters.
(50:08):
And you know, I just said before, just by calling someone
overweight or under whatever phraseology, that label that
you've given them is going to scar them.
And you're not going to see it, but it's going to hurt you more
than than a stick or a stone because you can't see it and it
just fistes away and fistes away.
And then one day it'll just comeon whatever that comes with it.
So yeah, I think I love the way you you have talked about the
(50:30):
cut in terms of self talk, but also the words we use or or or
don't use as well words. Not.
Using words is just as as as harmful.
Sometimes that's. A great cut too.
Yeah, Yeah, that's right. Exactly.
Oh, beautiful. See, I love, I love that, that
value add and I'm so glad I asked you about that because
that's a that's a great way to Segway into our until our final
question. I say final question because we
(50:52):
can keep talking forever, but we've been on for an hour or so
and you know, time is precious and I know you've, you've got
things to do. But our podcast is called Passes
of Knowledge, and every week we invite our guests to share a
piece of knowledge to put into our basket.
Myself, Tani and our listeners, you shared some amazing pieces
of knowledge, but is there any one piece of knowledge you'd
(51:14):
like to leave us with as we close the podcast today?
That's a great question. Give me one minute to pause.
Not one minute. I won't take a minute.
That's right. I think, you know, I wrote this
(51:35):
in my book and I think it Harkins back to something I said
earlier, but I think whether we trip or whether we triumph,
persistence beats perfection. And I think that's really
important, that we have to persist and that progress is
more important than perfection. So I think embrace persistence,
(51:56):
give yourself permission and shed perfection.
I love that embrace persistence and shared perfection.
What a beautiful, what a beautiful piece of knowledge.
And I think it's important for everyone of us because how many
times do we fail using verticalness in the world?
We fail, and then we just stop. And how many times do we fail
(52:17):
and stand up again and we grow. So I love that fact.
Yeah. Yeah.
And excellence is not doing everything perfectly all the
time, right? It's just doing the right things
well and persisting. So I think it's not that we
don't do things excellently, we just don't tie ourself up into
knots to do something impossible, right.
(52:38):
Yeah, perfection is impossible. It's impossible.
Yeah, it's impossible. Yeah.
Beautiful. Tony.
Last words. Oh, just a message.
Thank you. Have a gifts from me, you know,
to jump on the podcast. That's been very insightful and
I've definitely taken a lot awayfrom what you've had to say now.
So, yeah, thanks. Thank you both.
(53:00):
No worries, pleasure. Thank you so much for jumping
you on. You know, I've, as I said at the
start, you know, I've, I know a snippet of you from our
interactions on ESI, but today you're not really going to
understand and know where the essence of CUECUT comes from,
where the cut comes from. I think it's something that we
can all take away each part of our life.
Even if we implement one of those with the C, EU or the T,
(53:22):
it doesn't actually matter whichone you implement.
Obviously all three is really great.
But if you implement any one of those and clarity the time on
Earth and you know the essence, if you think about those things,
it'll make your life so much, somuch more meaningful, I think.
So thank you for sharing. Thank you for your time.
And we'll put your link in the chat as well.
(53:43):
So in the show notes. Thank you so much jumping on.
Thank you. It's been a pleasure.
Thank you so much. For your help.
No worries for this salty. Hopefully you've learned
something today. If you haven't, it's because you
haven't been listening. Go back and listen again.
Until next time, don't forget tokeep smiling.
Don't forget to put something into your passive knowledge.
And from today, don't forget to implement the cut.
(54:06):
Until next time, take everybody tuck into peace.
Bye. Thank you for listening to
Bastards of Knowledge. Yeah, we hope that you found
something useful to put into your bastard knowledge.
And as we said before, remember to put something little into
your baskets of knowledge every week.
(54:27):
And as always, feel free to like, comment and share this
podcast. Thanks, everybody.
Bye.
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