Ever feel like your life is spinning, but not in a way that’s shaping you? I open up about the moment a simple hymn line—“Thou art the Potter and I am the clay”—turned into a vivid picture of me fighting the wheel instead of trusting the hands that hold me. That image birthed the heartbeat of this show: be clay. Not the planner, not the potter—just willing, soft, and ready to be formed.
From there, we get honest about gratitude. Not the polite list, but the kind that springs from realizing how many second chances we don’t deserve and yet somehow receive. I talk about choosing gratitude as a daily practice, especially in December, and how that choice changes our tone, our pace, and our response to stress. We explore the difference between knowing of God and truly knowing God—time, conversation, and a relationship that naturally shifts what we do and don’t do. If grace met me when I was unlovable by my own standards, then my posture toward others must change. That’s where love stops being theory and starts being practice.
If you’re ready to trade control for surrender, anxiety for gratitude, and hesitation for action, this conversation will meet you right where you are and nudge you forward.
Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a hopeful push, and leave a review to tell me what you’re choosing—gratitude, surrender, or that first step to unbury a gift. What will you pick today?
You are Loved!
Not just a little, but greatly
Not just today, but forever
Not just by some,
But by the ONE who created you in His Love
And HE's Not The ONLY One
We Love You Unconditionally
&
There's nothing you can do to change it!!!!
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Episode Transcript
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Thanks for tuning in to anotherepisode of B Clay.
I appreciate you.
I thank you for listening to metoday.
You could be listening to anyoneelse, but you're here, and I
appreciate that.
So um today is going to be aquick episode, just a quick one.
(00:50):
And yes, I know how to do aquick one, so we're going to do
a quick episode.
But before we get into theepisode, I just want to recap on
some things.
Number one, um, I will have toupload, um, re-upload my old
episodes soon.
I am planning on beginning toupload these episodes this no,
(01:15):
we're not gonna do it thisweekend.
We're gonna start next weekend.
I will be re-uploading one eachweek until it's all fully
uploaded.
And two was anything.
Oh, so I will be after thisepisode, we will be uploading
every Wednesday.
Okay, so every Wednesday I willupload each new episode.
(01:37):
So with all that, with all thatbeing said, here is my episode.
Okay, so just before I reallyget into my episode, which this
really does um, this really do Ishould say it makes sense for my
(01:58):
episode.
So just a recap for under allthe new people, welcome for what
is B clay?
What is what's B Clay?
Bleak here at B Clay.
You are basically with me andfollowing me on my journey as I
learned how to just be clay andwhere did that derive from?
(02:18):
So when during COVID, one timeduring my time of prayer in the
morning, I was praying andreally seeking God on some
things, and there's some thingsthat I needed really need him to
do, uh that I needed him toreally, I needed to break
(02:38):
through.
Okay, and I was crying out tohim, and as I was crying out to
him during my prayer, I began tosing, Have Thy No Way, O Lord.
So Have Thy No Way is one of theuh, I guess him prayer songs
that I have been singing all mylife because you know I grew up
in church, and it's been one ofmy favorite songs to sing, and
(02:58):
so one of the lines in HaveThine No Way, uh, Lord, is Thou
art the Potter and I am theclay.
And as I approached that lineand began to sing that line, uh,
I couldn't even finish itbecause immediately God showed
me as clay, but he showed me asme as clay on the potter's
(03:23):
wheel, but I wasn't being still,I was moving around, I was just
all over the place, making awhole mess because as he's
trying to, and he showed me asclay and his hands trying to mow
me, but as he's trying to mow mebecause I'm up here moving all
around, I'm making a messbecause all over the ceilings
and everything else, because I'mnot being still and I'm not
(03:45):
being clay, and so immediately Ibegan to cry and bawl out and
just you know, first thank God,okay, for allowing me to see
what I was, but then I began tobawl and cry because and told
myself, Alicia, you just have tobe clay.
Understanding that although Ihave said sung that song in
(04:09):
itself many times, I have saidthat multiple times that I am
clay and he is the potter.
However, I have not really beendoing the job of clay or
actually be clay, and the roleof clay is to just be molded.
That's it.
You're not supposed to doanything else, you're not
supposed to tell the potter,like, hey, you know what, this
(04:32):
is what I want to do, this Iwant to be.
No, mm-mm.
You are just you are your therole of you is to just to be
molded into whatever the potterwants to mold you into.
So I will get, I will probablydo a re I mean I will re-upload
the first episode then when I gointo that, but I think I want to
(04:53):
go into more into uh being clayin the future episodes.
So it does tie into the episodeof today that I'm doing today.
So we are in December, right?
Happy December.
It went by so fast, and uh atfirst I wasn't going to do like
a typical, you know,Thanksgiving episode of like
(05:17):
giving thanks, but recently,which is the Sunday before
Thanksgiving, as we wasapproaching Thanksgiving, I was
just in, you know, in my as Iwas getting ready for church, I
was just in my prayer mode.
And in my prayer, I started theprayer this morning, that
(05:41):
morning, not this morning, butthat morning, saying to the
Lord, you know, here I am comingto your throne with
thanksgiving.
And as I said that, I realizedI'm I don't do that often.
I don't just come to him withcomplete thanksgiving and just
(06:01):
just thanking him, and not justthanking him for you know, life,
health, and strength, theclothes of my back,
materialistic things.
Not that I'm not thankful forthose things or that's something
wrong to be thankful for, butjust being thankful to just to
know him, right?
To that he allow series ofevents for me to know him.
(06:24):
Um, in my previous episode thatI told you that last year, this
actually this time last year, Ireally began to I realized how
much he honored our relationshipfrom the beginning.
The relationship that we had,that we had, that me and him had
(06:48):
in the beginning of my life, thefirst few years of my life, and
how just honoring that and therelationship that he knew that
we was going to have at thismoment, that he did not, he was
so patient with me, should Isay, you know, and and the
between in the between timebecause people have died for
(07:10):
less.
Okay, people have was did notget thousands of chances.
I can't even count how manychances he gave him because it
was too many, but I knewdefinitely know it was way more
than one.
And some only received onechance, and that is it.
And the fact that he was sopatient with me, so I mean, he
(07:32):
just long suffering is not evenlike you can't even define long
suffering um that he has beenwith me, and just to know him is
a privilege, just to know him.
Now, you for those that know,I've been in church all my life,
and I'm not talking aboutreligion, I'm talking about a
relationship.
There's a difference, right?
(07:54):
And I'm not here to really I'mnot here to really persuade
anyone to believe in God and allthose things.
That is something that you canmake your own, you know, choice
for that.
(08:14):
But for me, I have done toomuch, been through too much, not
to have a relationship with him.
Okay, not to have a relationshipbecause I also as as I was just
thanking God for just theprivilege just to know him, that
(08:38):
he allows me to know him, to getto know him in every aspect,
right?
To be to know him as a mindregular, as a healer, to know
him as my joy, to know him as mypeace.
And the list really can go onbecause he is really my
everything, he is my constant.
(09:00):
Just to know him is it's justamazing.
Just to know him.
See, everybody doesn't want toknow him.
Some people just want to know ofhim.
Most people just don't want toknow of God, they don't really
want to know him.
In order to know him, youactually have to spend time with
him, right?
There are people that know thatknow me that if you ask them
(09:24):
some questions, um, what's herfavorite color, they can tell
you what type of food she likes,they can tell you.
Uh, but there's some people thatsay, I think that she likes
this, but that's because theyonly know of me.
They haven't spent time with me,they haven't had no
conversations with me, so theydon't know me.
They know of me through somebodyelse, or they saw me, they might
(09:47):
even know my name.
A lot of times, people justdon't know my name.
They will say, Oh, they know ofme.
Oh, that's the girl that alwayssmiling or always happy or
whatever the case may be.
They know my characteristics,but they don't actually know my
name, right?
So, but when you know someone,you spend time with them, you
have you communicate with them,right?
(10:08):
And you understand you begin tounderstand their likes and
dislikes, and you there'scertain things that you would do
and don't do because of thenature of your relationship once
you know someone, and that's whyI say that some people don't
want to know God, they want tojust know of him, and so there,
but it's a big difference.
And I just was thinking God thathe wants to know me, and he
(10:31):
wants me to know him.
Do you know how many people andmany times do we there are
people that want to know us, andwe choose whether or not we want
them to know us or not, right?
Um, there's multiple times wheresomeone won't know me, and and
it depends on the nature of therelationship.
They want to know me in incertain aspects, and I choose
(10:53):
not for them to want to know mein that aspect, right?
We have a choice.
We have a choice when it comesto our relationships with
people, with family, friends,right?
What type of relationship thatwe want.
We may not can choose, we cannotchoose our mother and our father
and our family members, however,we can choose what type of
(11:14):
relationship we want with them.
When we want a closerelationship with them, or we
just want a distantrelationship.
That's a choice.
And so in this, I realize that Ineed to choose to thank God more
often, to be really uh, likejust just to be more grateful
(11:34):
and not take advantage of therelationship that he chose to
have with me and to continue tochoose him regardless of
anything else.
And so it just really, it wasjust a thought that came to me.
It's just a thought that came.
And I, you know, again, it'sjust something I really think
(11:56):
like, wow God, I really thankyou for wanting to have a
relationship with me.
Because it's a privilege, it's aprivilege to have a relationship
with you.
Everyone does understand thatwhat the privilege is.
You know, remember when we werekids?
See, my kids don't evenunderstand privileges to be
exactly, and we knew the underthe word of privilege.
Because remember, if you didn'tdo certain things, if you didn't
do your chores, then you would,you know, your privileges were
(12:19):
taken away, right?
So we had an understanding ofwhat privileges were because we
understand that privileges arenot something that I have to
have, it's something that Iwould like to have, but I'm not
obligated and it's not mandatoryfor me to have.
So it's a privilege for me tohave a relationship with them.
(12:40):
And so that it was just it'sjust something I wanted to share
about choosing to be thankfuland not and just be thankful,
period, you know, because that'sa choice, it's a choice to be
thankful, it's a choice towhether you allow things to
stress you out, it's a choicewhether you allow things to
(13:04):
frustrate you, all that's achoice, because you can't always
choose your circumstancesnecessarily when things happen.
Unfortunate things may happen,however, we can choose how we
respond to it, and I havedecided, I have decided to just
choose to be more thankful ofevery single thing that happens,
(13:25):
no matter what.
As we are in the last month ofthis year, okay, um I'm actually
excited.
I am, I'm very excited for, Ithink I'm more excited than I
have ever been in my wholeentire life.
I don't know why, but I am.
I'm excited for the things thathave already taken place.
(13:49):
Like me, guess what, y'all?
I finally finished a class.
Yay! I finally finished a class,you guys.
Oh my goodness.
I finally finished one.
I don't remember if I actuallyput that in my last episode
because I don't know if I did itby time.
I don't know, but I finallyfinished a class, okay?
(14:10):
So we are on the way to get thisthing moving and popping because
we got to get this thingtogether.
It's it's about time for him toget the return on his
investment.
But I finally finished a classand we're we're we're moving.
We're moving.
Uh, there are some things that Iam, you know, put into play
because God has it's finallyit's finally time for him to get
(14:32):
the return on his investment,all that he has put inside of
me, you know, too much is given,much is required.
And I have been burying mytalents, my gifts, my skill,
whatever you want to call it,it's been buried for too long,
and it's time to get the shoveland you know, unbury it and let
(14:52):
it be utilized.
So I am done, you guys.
See, I told you this was goingto be a long episode, and I, you
know, you're probably like,yeah, whatever, because uh, at
least you do a short one.
That's funny, but no, um, I justwant to get up on hand and also
make sure that I upload eachweek.
(15:13):
And this, yeah, this episode waswas only to say, let's let's
choose to be thankful foreverything.
More than anything, just choosethat he wants to have a
relationship with me.
There are many people who havedied for less who didn't get as
many chances as I did.
Uh their grace had ran out.
(15:35):
And I just thankful that mygrace then ran out.
Uh, and he allowed me to have arelationship.
It's it's awesome.
Um, like I said, I have beenthrough too much, I have done
too much to not be in arelationship with him.
Um, I don't care what otherpeople say, how you feel, that's
that's not my business.
(15:56):
That's between you and him.
But as far as for me, like Isaid, I've been through too much
and I've done too much.
And the way that I treat people,some people feel as though, you
know, at least yours are sonice, you're so kind.
I'm not nice.
I'm not nice at all.
Um, I'm kind, yes, because thatis one of fruit of spirit.
Look like I'm a daddy, but I'mnot very nice.
(16:19):
And the fact that if God canlove me, then I can love
anybody.
Because to be honest, to behonest, by my own standards, my
own standards without God, we'renot talking about the God
standards, we're talking aboutoutside.
If I if if by my own standardsof what I may deemed to be
(16:42):
unlovable, I that means I shouldreally include myself because
I'm unlovable as well.
You're right.
So I realize that.
I realize that I have realizedthat.
And if he can love me, if he canlove me, then who am I to say
that someone else cannot beloved?
And that's just pretty much whatit is.
(17:02):
I'm not looking for anyone tounderstand that.
I'm not looking for anyone toeven acknowledge the fact that
that I'm loving them regardlessof whether they're unlovable.
That's it doesn't matter.
I'm not even really looking forpeople to acknowledge the fact
that and and say thank you.
It doesn't matter.
(17:23):
No matter what they do, nomatter what it is, I love any
and every single vibe because ifhe can love me, I can love
anybody.
Who am I to say someone isunlovable?
Because I might as well putmyself in that in that category
too, because technically so amI.
So, with all that being said, Iam done.
And until the next episode, Iwill again I will be up
(17:45):
re-uploading all my old episodesbeginning next Saturday.
Next Saturday, I will begin tore-upload.
And if you want to listen tothese episodes now, you can
listen to them on YouTube.
The link for the YouTube shouldbe in the description.
(18:06):
But it should be in thedescription, no matter what
you're listening to, whether youlisten to an Apple, Spotify, uh
whatever platform that you'relistening to, you should be able
to see the link for the YouTube,and you can go back and listen
to it from there.
Up until then, I will catch youguys in the next episode.
(18:26):
Bye.
You are the product, so I am abig clay, big clay.
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