May 4, 2023 • 44 mins
In episode two of Beaming Green, we learn about the next chapter in Stephen Armytage's journey towards Living a Rich and Purposeful Life (LARPL). Stephen shares what brought on his self-described 'spectacular midlife crisis', which was a growing discomfort about the direction in which the world was heading, particularly around how humans were treating the earth.
While working in high-level government consulting, Stephen talks about his need to explore further, or dig deeper into himself to feel his own authenticity. This led him to embark on his own version of the hero's journey to become a sustainable man, father, husband, and community member, which involved spending six months traveling around Australia with his wife and two kids, living in a small camper trailer. On this trip he connected more deeply with his family and learned how to live an abundant, enriched life with minimal impact on the environment.
This prompted his decision to move to Northern NSW and some of the challenges and choices he and his family needed to make to be more sustainably authentic.
Stephen reveals how from that space he and his family manifested the perfect place to live and work at Gymea Eco Retreat where they were able to further develop and explore their connectivity with the land, themselves and their wonderful community.
We also delve a little deeper into his passion for LARPL and what to expect at his upcoming retreat starting on the 31st of May 2023.
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Episode Transcript
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Jeremy Melder (00:00):
Hello, my name is Jeremy melder, and I'm the
(00:02):
presenter from Beaming Green.
Before we start, I would like toacknowledge that this podcast is
being held on the traditionallands of the Bundjalung people
and paying our respects toelders both past, present and
emerging. Welcome to Season Twoof beaming green. Now available
on YouTube or your favoritepodcast platform. We offer an
(00:27):
array of inspiring guestsspeaking about their life
experiences, on topics includingsustainable living,
environmental issues, and humansustainability. So whether
you're a seasoned eco warrior,or just starting your
sustainability journey, BeamingGreen has something for
(00:48):
everyone. So join us for seasontwo. And let been some green
togetherwell, Stephen, welcome back to
Beaming Green. Now last episodewe were talking about, you know
(01:10):
what led to your midlife crisis?
Or what do you call it? What'sthe word you use your big tech,
spectacular midlife crisis? Andyour trip around Australia? And
what happened there? But I guesswe're interested in what
(01:31):
happened next. You you kind ofmoved to another state. And
things really moved from there,didn't they?
Stephen Armytage (01:44):
Yeah, they did. So yes, at the bottom of
the midlife crisis, and thecause for the midlife crisis,
the spectacular midlife crisiswas a real sense of not knowing
what was going on, and what wasthe cause of this discomfort
that I was experiencing. Andwhen I found out recognized
(02:05):
became aware that it was aboutmy concern around the direction
in which species is going, and,you know, we talked about, we
both campus, and we talk aboutgoing to a campsite. And it's,
it's a bit of a downer when youget to the campsite. And it's,
you know, this mess from otherpeople that have been there. And
(02:29):
even when it's pristine, youknow, it's just such a joy to go
to a pristine campsite. And whatI like to do, and I know you do
as well is that when we leavethe campsite, that we leave the
campsite, and even, you know,even an even better situation.
And I guess what I see as us asa species is we're not leaving
the campsite, being themetaphor, the world in in as
(02:51):
good a shape as when you and Ijoined it 50 something years
ago. And that really, reallygets to me. So. So that was my
aha. And as, as disconcerting asthat is, it kind of brought me
back into the driver's seat, Iwent, Okay, so I'm feeling
(03:14):
deeply depressed. But now I knowwhy I'm feeling deeply
depressed. And it was actuallyabout the fact there was two
aspects, the first aspect wasthat that big in an overwhelming
kind of a situation for those ofus that are connecting to that.
And that that puts us put me ina very uncomfortable states. So
(03:37):
that is that was going on forme. The second thing was the
realization that I wasn't doingas much as I could have possibly
been doing. Even though I had ahighly influential role,
consulting to the highest levelsof government on human
sustainability issues. TheDepartment of Human Human
(03:59):
Services, the Department ofEducation, the Department of
Family and Community Servicesand Indigenous Affairs, I mean,
I was consulting at the highestlevels to solve sustainable
issues for individuals, thepeople in the environment. So
that was great. But that wasn'tenough for me to resolve this
(04:21):
deep sense that we're notleaving the campsite in as good
a shape as we arrived. So forme, what I became what became
really aware is that I needed tobecome what I attend that I that
I coined, which was sustainablyauthentic. But it put me back
into the driver's seat. So yes,I still felt that, you know,
(04:42):
that, that yearning and thatdepression associated with how
bad the situation was. And I'mnot overdramatizing there. But
it also put me into a place ofquestioning how could I most
effectively, positivelycontribute to that situation? So
now I could act again. And I'muncomfortable when I can act.
(05:06):
I've spent a lifetime of actingin accordance to my guidance, I
guess. Yeah. So that's what thenext part of the journey was
about.
Jeremy Melder (05:14):
I just got a question for you. So you, as you
said, you're working in thehighest levels of, of
government. Right? Consulting toyou in consulting to, and I'm
just wondering whether even ourlisteners are thinking this, you
know, it's like, okay, so that'skind of a pretty pointed and
influential part that you couldbe coming from right. But you've
(05:36):
chosen to do it differently,why?
Stephen Armytage (05:39):
It just didn't. So I didn't feel. And
it's a valid question. I didn'tfeel that I was sustainably
authentic. At that time. Yeah.
And up until that time, I feltlike I was really congruent with
that requirement to leave thecampsite and in a better
condition as when I arrived. Butwith this new awareness about
this thing that had beencreeping up on me, I needed to
(06:01):
do more. And because I seemyself as a good man, I'm like,
well, if I'm a good man, then Ineed to do something about that.
And I can't expect anybody elseto do that. So I went through a
very, very personal journeyaround what it was to be
sustainable man, a sustainablefather, a sustainable husband, a
(06:27):
sustainable community member.
And what I had to do was pull abunch of stuff that wasn't
congruent with that. That waythat I was defining it. And you
know, the context is, we spentsix months on the road going
(06:49):
around Australia, in you know,pretty, we pretty much had
nothing, right? We had a, we hada pretty dodgy camper trailer
that was 25 years old, we cookedour meals on a gas stove, we had
a tiny little solar panel thatprovided all of our electricity
requirements. And we were livingan abundant enriched kind of
(07:10):
experience. There was nocompromise in that for me,
except maybe we're burning a bitmore diesel than I would have
liked. At my footprint inCanberra, where we lived, we had
this huge house that was veryenergy inefficient in summer to
call and be comfortable and veryenergy efficient, inefficient,
(07:31):
and winter to heat. And I went,Oh, that's just not congruent
with this man I want to be. AndI could probably build a mud
brick house or something inCanberra, that Canberra also
didn't seem to be the placeanymore. Now, because my work
there. Obviously, when I wasconsulting to federal
government, it was appropriatefor me to be there, then sure.
(07:53):
But I had a bigger job to do,which involved all aspects of
myself, but started, you know,with me, all change begins
within and then to us personallyand then. And then my
experiences, it ripples out fromthere into our primary
relationship, my my wife, mykids, my family members,
(08:18):
parents, if they're still alive,a mum was still like, my dad
wasn't alive at that point. Andit was about becoming authentic
in that manifestation of myselfwithout sounding too woowoo. So
I kind of unpeel the onion untilI got to a point where I felt
Yes, this is absolutely right.
And what are this? How am Igoing to rebuild this stack? And
(08:39):
and I went back to kind of rootcauses. So the question was,
okay, so I need to live in asustainably authentic way. And
that means I need to haveminimal carbon footprint,
basically. So an efficient housethat is comfortable, but not
necessarily as big as the one wehad in Canberra, being more
(09:00):
connected to our environment, sofinding a climate that was more
kind of connected to us, becausewe lived on the canvas for 12
months, was kind of like likingthe outdoors things. And the
thing about being outdoors isthat when I'm in the forest,
when I'm in nature, when I'm inthe water, I am more connected
to my higher self than when I'msitting in an office or when I'm
(09:24):
punching away at a computer orwhatever. So yeah, it was like a
it was a gradual kind ofrecalibration process for me to
find this thing calledSustainable authenticity. And I
read a bunch of books. Some ofthose were about, you know, kind
of taking a step back a bit likeSteiner, the Steiner education
(09:47):
process, where it's all aboutkind of connecting the child
connecting with themselves,connecting with their value set,
connecting with theirenvironment, and then connecting
with stories To kind of groundthem to, you know, history and
and building kind of a contextto to be a good human being, you
know, thriving in theirenvironment. So I kind of had to
(10:08):
do that for myself. And in fact,I've been read, I'm doing that
to talk today. You know, I'vegot a really strong mission now.
And I'm playing to that strongmission. And it's a constant
process of calibration. Going,am I where I thought I was going
to be? Where am I truly? Wherewould I love to be? What's my
highest self say I need to be?
(10:29):
And therefore, what's the coursecorrection that I need to make?
And it's, you know, it'sconstantly refining it's
constant refining process forrefinement process. So I did
that. And there was many helpersin the way. But basically, what
that did was at first, there wasa question as if we're not going
to live in Canberra, where arewe going to live? And we found
(10:51):
five really energetic, aliveplaces. And this area near Mount
warning was one of the ones oneof those five, and it of all,
the fire that felt the most,most practical, and the most
beautiful environment for us togrow our kids up, right. So
then, that 10 or 11, right?
Yeah. The weather was great. Itfelt like New Zealand, but it
(11:16):
was a bit warmer, it felt reallyenergetic alive, I had a
community of people that I knewpretty well, good spiritual
practice. And I was connectedwith my environment. So we spent
a year serendipity kind ofopened up again, a dear friend
decided to go to Scotland. Andhe said, you know, would you
(11:37):
like to rent our house, youknow, pay for the, for the
mortgage for three months? Whilewe're away? I don't know if
we'll be away for three months,or it might be more. So we said
yes. OB Yes. And we spent thattime that didn't come back for
11 months. That's nice. We spentthat time looking at all the
potential properties in thatarea that could serve what I
(11:58):
what I thought I could possiblydo, because when I look back, I
went well, okay. So if I floggedthe house in Canberra, then we
could buy a place that could befor expanded consciousness or,
or for people who have beenthrough my experience, to
(12:21):
connect them in a practical andpragmatic way to how they might
be sustainably authentic. So Igot interested in earth
building, I got interested incommunity building, I got
interested in, you know,sustainable living practices.
And those aren't all about, youknow, the environment and all
(12:45):
that kind of stuff. You know,sustainability for me is about
how do we live in a peaceful,harmonious, fun and sustainable
way. And to look aftereverything, and everybody,
including Mother Nature. So thisis the place we decided to, to
come to. And I thought, giventhat I'm a I'm a trained
(13:08):
educator and a reasonably goodcommunicator, that maybe I could
build some curriculum, somepractice and provide a place for
kids in the first instance, tocome and have a camp have a
sustainable school experience.
And because now my colleaguesfrom my teaching past and our
(13:29):
headmaster's and staff, I said,Look, you know, is this
something that that could ride?
Could it work? And because I wasworried about, I wasn't worried,
but I'm like curious about.
Okay, so how am I going to putfood on the table? Yeah. And
live and make a contribution?
And it's like, that's a prettybig question, right? And it's a
big question that everybody haswhen they're going through these
(13:51):
moments of transition. And thepropensity for me is to go back
to what I already knew. But Iknew that going back to being a
management consultant, asinfluential as it was, at the
highest levels of government,and I'm not saying that, I don't
want to overblow that, but Ididn't, I was carrying, you
(14:12):
know, independent influencearound particular issues. But it
wasn't about that. For me, itwas actually about finding what
was that about? What was aboutthat, that notion of sustainable
authenticity that landed for mepersonally, and then my wife, my
primary relationship, and thenmy kids, and then, you know, and
(14:34):
so on, and so forth. So Idreamed up this idea of,
basically an eco camp for kidsto do to have sustainable
experience that's connected toto the bush. Yeah. So yeah.
Jeremy Melder (14:52):
How did that work for you? Like, I guess, you
know, you would had a couple ofchallenges in it. You know, how
did your family react to that?
In terms of what you wanted todo? Because this is something
that you've, you've got on amission that you'd like to
follow, but like, was yourpartner and your kids happy
about this?
Stephen Armytage (15:12):
Yeah, look, the kids were pretty happy. I
mean, the kids, the kids trustedus right? In their 9 and 11. My
mum and dad go, they kind of go,you know, the, the male variety
of the children, he was reallycomfortable with this, and the
female variety, she was like,Well, I want to go back to
Canberra, I want to go back toSteiner School, and I want to be
(15:33):
with my friends. But when when Iwe looked at that, objectively,
it's like, we really understoodthat, you know, we were her safe
harbor. And we can still provideher with a safe harbor and
access to her friends. Andnothing's ever the same when you
(15:56):
go back to where you were. It'sgot glimpses of it, but we're in
a timeline, a time continuum,it's always changing. So I felt
comfortable about the mostimportant thing was to provide a
safe harbor for her. And anenvironment. We're all where we
were all congruent with, I'veonly set with my wife. That was
(16:18):
that was like a eight monthjourney, I guess. And there was,
you know, people that knew usboth. I'd be like, people to how
things are going for you. Um,that's amazing, you know? Oh, my
God. That's incredible dream andblah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
right. And I think I enhance howSonya? And I go, yeah, she's
(16:39):
great. She's totally on board.
And they kind of go,
Jeremy Melder (16:42):
are you sure?
Stephen Armytage (16:43):
Exactly. Are you sure. And during that eight
months, there was, you know,that was, that was a time where
my passion and my realizationkind of hadn't caught up with
her. And she's, you know,questioning, you know, how do I
(17:06):
fit with this? M? And there wasno question that she agree that
that was the right thing for usto do. It was the how we were
going to do that. And even thequestion of whether or not we're
going to land here was aquestion of contention. She's
Italian, lots of culture aroundfamily, big drawback to
Melbourne, aging parents. Thatwe were able to take it off step
(17:32):
by step, and kind of to movedown that continuum. And then we
ended up in, you know, beforewe, you know, right, there was
there was this kind of cruciblemoment where there was so much
heat and pressure on us. And Iremember one day where I was
literally in tears. And I said,Look, I just give this whole
(17:55):
dream away, if that's what youwant me to do, because I'm more
committed to you than I am toanything else, other than my own
kind of personal development.
And in that moment, I thinkshe's, she then believed me
probably for the for the firsttime again in eight months. And
she's like, okay. And I kind ofsomething snapped. I mean, what
(18:16):
she wanted was she wantedeverything that I was choosing.
And she wanted, for my dream tohave infrastructure rather than
a bare piece of land, because Iwas looking into 1000 acres.
That's right. And nowinfrastructure, so she wanted a
house. Not so unreasonable for awife and a mother. She wanted to
a sealed driveway. She wanted areliable water source and
(18:43):
electrical source. And shewanted to be 15 minutes to the
kids school. Not sounreasonable, right? Not really.
And I'm like, Okay, well, that'sgreat. But we've only got we've
sold the house in Canberra anddone pretty well and got a
little bit more money than we,we bought it for. But I'm like,
that's a really finite resource.
(19:05):
And you're getting what youwant, and me getting what I
want. It's like, or I want whatyou want, but it's like, I just
don't see how that goestogether. And we've been I've
been doing a lot of study aroundmanifestation. And I learned and
I have learned as cuckoo is thisounce that the how is not
(19:26):
actually necessarily ourresponsibility if we're going to
manifest on a large scale.
What's important is actually tobe congruent with what you're
looking to manifest your visionwhat you would love. So, you
know, she said, But wouldn't youlike that as well? Wouldn't you
like some infrastructure foryour for your sustainable? When
you like a house, and I go,Yeah, yeah, but it's not fucking
(19:46):
possible. You know, I don't seeit being possible. Yeah. Jesus.
Yeah, but but do you want thatand I go, Yeah, of course I do.
In hindsight, the thing I wouldhave wished for is a creek that
ran through the place and I kindof said, but I said the I want
that as well. And Jeremy,believe it or not, she found the
property, we ended up buyingthat nine on the internet.
Jeremy Melder (20:12):
I remember that moment. It was crazy.
Stephen Armytage (20:16):
And there's there's a whole nother story
about how that process thingplayed out. But it was about a
pivotal moment was to because Ihave, I had an unwavering
commitment to her and ourrelationship. And I had this
dream. And I hadn't acknowledgedher part of that dream, which
(20:37):
was the house and stuff becauseI for practical reasons, I
didn't feel like we had theright amount of money to be able
to afford that. I kind of feltlike if I went to a real estate
agent and said, Hey, I'd likeall these things. And I've only
got this much money, the realestate agent would be going,
that's great. Let me refer youto my competitors, because
you're an idiot.
Jeremy Melder (20:56):
Call a psychologist.
Stephen Armytage (21:01):
Exactly.
Right. So the proposition wasridiculous, right? So I'm going
this doesn't compute. But whatwas important is that I just
needed to choose that. Thatchoice was congruent with both
of us. So I choose herprimarily. And I choose the
secondary thing with hertogether. And as soon as that
happened, the miracle occurred.
(21:25):
The miracle, which is now calledclimate, eco retreat and spa,
which people now think is like areal thing. But it was, it
wasn't a real thing, then it wasjust, it was just a dream. And
that's the power ofmanifestation. And it's
illogical. And it's like magic.
Because we don't have anythingin our context to explain how
that can happen. You know, whenwe go to school, they don't
(21:46):
teach us about manifestation.
And that's why part of thesecond part of my life or
course, living a rich andpurposeful life is about
manifestation. The first part ofit is, what do you want? Because
that's the hardest thing. Yeah.
What do you truly want? And whatis in alignment with you, your
soul and all the other decisionsyou're making? Like your
(22:08):
partner? The thing was, I'd madea decision about something, but
it wasn't in alignment with mypartner's decision. And we
needed to get common ground. Andwhen we got there, ridiculous as
it sounds this thing manifested.
Jeremy Melder (22:22):
Yeah. I mean, how many people do you think go
through this really, right?
There's so many couples, even,it's even a struggle doing it on
your own, but you know, evenwith couples is quite a big
negotiation, and actually comingon to the same level ground,
it's like, how do you get tothat point, you know, with, with
someone, because we're alldifferent, we really are, it's
(22:44):
like, you might love each otherto pieces, you know, but at the
at the same time, you don't youwant what you want, the other
person wants what they want, andyou got to marry that too. So I
think that's, you know, asuccessful outcome that you and
Sonya have achieved, because Ican see how it's manifested now,
(23:05):
years along, you know, down thetrack. And I guess I've got a
question in terms of throughthat process, you know, over
that period. So you've got, nowyou've got daimyo eco retreat,
and you've been going throughyour own personal journey, or
journeys together, becausethere's obviously journeys that
you both would have gonethrough. And what the other
(23:27):
influences that came into thisin terms of influencing you in
your mindset, that helped you?
Stephen Armytage (23:38):
Totally, absolutely, yeah, 1000s of them,
right. Yeah. Yeah, and thething, the thing that. So I just
want to say a little something alittle bit about what you were
talking about with Sonya and me.
I think everybody goes throughit. The thing is that there
doesn't seem to be culture inour contemporary Australian
environment, to say, hey,firstly, these crisises are
(24:00):
normal. And you got to do thework for yourself. First and
foremost, if you get arealization and transformation,
the next stage of that processis you need to make that
harmonize that in yourenvironment. And as part of
that, your environment mightchange, like a relationship
might break down, because it'sno longer congruent with who you
(24:21):
truly are. And I think that's tobe celebrated. Yeah. But also, I
don't think that's the defaultanswer. Because you see, so I
see so many marriages thatfinish when the kids are, you
know, 10 or 11, or 12, or1315 16. Because the parents
finally go, Oh, great. The kidsdon't need me anymore. Now. Now
(24:41):
I can go and be me. Because Iknow love will no longer love
her or him. And I think that'sfirstly a bit dangerous. That
notion because, for me thatprocess that Sonia and I went
through for eight months. Thatcould be orchestra Do it in a
much more efficient andeffective way if there was
somebody who was guiding us, butwe had to do that on our own, or
(25:04):
it felt like we had to do it onour own. So I'm like part of me
is going where is our humanculture to help us to navigate
these very identifiable momentsin our lives and our life's
journeys. And we don't have tojettison relationships in order
to evolve. But we do need to dosomething in the relationship to
support the evolution of therelationship. So I just wanted
(25:27):
to say that. So I think that inour future, Sonya, and I've got
some work around relationships.
Sure. To come back to your otherquestion, I think everybody's
going through, you know,significant moments of
transition, I've mapped 60 ofthem. They are unavoidable. Some
(25:47):
of them are good, some of themare bad. Some of them can smash
you to the ground, and some ofthem can kill you. I've seen
those things. You know, yourpeople having heart attacks,
without sounding woowoo, right.
I don't think all this is justassociated with, you know,
physical conditions, I actuallythink there's some other things
in play. It's kind of likemanifesting, like miracles. It's
like, if I don't listen to whatmy souls agenda is, I get
(26:10):
smashed. It's like a big wavethat smashes me to the ground
and grazes my face, I have hadthat experience. I'm a science
guy. And I go, if I'm not inalignment with my soul's agenda,
I get the shit kicked out. And Itotally
Jeremy Melder (26:24):
get that, you know, like, with my rheumatoid
arthritis, my body is tellinggiven me lots of signs, you
know, that there's somethinggoing on? And I need to listen,
you know, like it you otherpeople listening might think
it's, I agree, you know, but youdo, it's about for me, I've now
got this aha thing that I justhave to slow down a bit. I'm
(26:47):
going too fast. I'm overworkingit, I'm not approaching it in
the right way. All of thesethings are signs, I think,
Stephen Armytage (26:56):
exactly. And I don't know about you. But when
I, when I get back into apattern, that's not supporting
my highest good, my symptomsturn up. You're you rheumatoid
arthritis is my depression. AndI that comes up and down, it
goes up and down in waves, andmy behavior, my intention, my
(27:16):
focus can change that. Yeah. AndI'm getting reasonably good at
responding to that, as youprobably are around diet and
exercise and mindset, and allthat sort of stuff, you fix your
rheumatoid arthritis, and thedoctors will go, No, you've got
it all. And you've just got toput up with it. And yeah, and
that degree, if you feel like,if you feel like a victim in
your life, then then we canaccept that, right? And it's
(27:38):
like, there's lots of statisticsthat say that if you've got
depression, you're more likelyto get depression. And it's
gonna get worse and worse andworse. But actually, my
experience is that I've haddepression. And if I bring
awareness from these variousteachers, which is the third
part of your question, then Ican learn you know,
neuroplasticity is a thing. Andour minds are not the center of
(27:59):
the universe. For me, I thinkthe soul is setting the agenda.
So intuition agenda, absolutely.
My mind should be a tool of myof my soul. If I look at the
hierarchy, soul is what soulsorientation is like, key for me.
Jeremy Melder (28:14):
I agree with that statement. Because I think that
a lot of us, including myself,over time, have recognized this,
you know, that you can get socaught up in what's going on up
in your head. But really,ultimately, there is a soul
agenda within yourself. And youmight not be aware of it, but
you have to surrender a littlebit towards that and say, Okay,
(28:35):
I don't have the answer, becauseyou're trying to run this from
your head. But if you're quiet,if I quiet and myself, plug
myself in nature, I might get alittle bit of an answer for it.
You know what I mean? I alwaysfind in nature, there's an
answer
Stephen Armytage (28:49):
comes through in nature, there's an answer,
and that's profound. Exactly.
And that was my realization aswell, because my antidote to my,
my lack of understanding duringthe spectacular midlife crisis,
my antidote was to just to sinkinto my family, and to sink into
nature, and to be in a war. Andas part of that process, you
(29:14):
know, the answers kind offlowed. But I had so much going
on up there. I talked about itbeing, you know, clearing my
internal mailbox. Yeah. I wasn'table to hear it, but definitely
the antidotes were family, doingstuff that I love the things
that enrich me and immersing ina natural environment. And then
(29:35):
from there when I was startingto do the rebuild, so I was
reading a bunch of books I was,you know, going back. So almost
nobody helped me to understandhow to navigate to the aha
moment of what was the rootcause of my spectacular midlife
crisis. Psychologists had acrack at it, but maybe I'm slow
or whatever, but nobody reallyhelped me with that. But after I
(29:59):
had a realization that I neededto become sustainably authentic,
I could then start to dialoguewith people and I was just
dialoguing everywhere,attending, you know, kind of
Melbourne sustainabilityconferences and traveling to New
Zealand and, you know, gettingdeep in some of my spiritual
practices and, you know, just gointo workshops and all that kind
of stuff. And I guess what I wasdoing then was going, Okay, so
(30:20):
I'm an optimizer, I class myselfas an optimizer. And that meets
and complex problem solver. Andthat made me a pretty good
management consultant, becauseI'd look at the entire frame
maybe greater than the frame,and then diagnose what the
issues were, then look forpragmatic and an implementable
solutions. So I did that to thissituation, right? Because what
(30:41):
my hypothesis is, okay, so thisis my hypothesis. So if we're
not leaving the metaphoricalcampsite, in the right shape, so
how do we get to a place wherewe do that? For me, we need to
first part of it is that we needto get everybody connected to
(31:02):
source not connected to whatthey think they should be doing.
But getting them connected towhat's important. That's the
first thing. And then the secondthing is then to provide them
with a mechanism by which tothen start to move towards their
(31:23):
own version of functionality. Soas part of that process, I
realized that I needed to modelfor myself and then potentially
others, what's the standard, myversion of sustainable
authenticity was about. Sohaving an eco retreat, a place
(31:46):
of consciousness that'sconnected to the beautiful
environment, allowing trends ofsupporting transformational
growth and change, that's like agreat thing to do, right. So
that's where we were trackingtowards, and, you know, I had
Murieta teachers there. And alsomyriads of opportunities to
waste time, and to go downrabbit holes, and all that kind
(32:08):
of stuff. And I guess, as partof my journey, I've just learned
the power of my mind, but alsothe power of just listening to
my gut feel listening to myintuition, and saying yes to
that, even if it doesn't alwayslogically line up. Because that
allowed me and it allows mestill to make quicker and better
decisions. So, you know, so forme, it was about getting a
(32:32):
feeling of a person or, or abook or whatever, and going, you
know, is there value there, eventhough it may not seem logical,
then, if I feel it, just do it,and even if it felt logical, and
it didn't feel right, they'renot doing it, you know, just
just following that path. Andgetting better at that, and, and
taking a personal diary of, youknow, where I feel like I'm
(32:57):
making progress towards mymission, coke, creating
peaceful, harmonious, fun andsustainable world. And when I'm
not, I did a whole bunch ofmen's work, actually, yeah, you
know, we came together aroundmankind project, and mankind
project, I got almost completemission came down to me in one
of the processes, and I will beforever grateful for that
(33:20):
process, right. And so, youknow, there's lots of
opportunity for growth andgetting out of ourselves. But,
you know, for me, it's about Ifeel like, my role is to help
make some of these kinds ofwisdom of the ages, things more
accessible for people. And Idon't care how to do that. I
(33:43):
just, that's my mission. And ifso that gets people into their
hearts and knowing what'simportant to them, then there's
a good chance that we're allgoing to start, you know,
behaving in a more functionalway. And if we do that, then
hey, we might leave the campsitein the shade. And then our kids
kids won't have to live incompromise. You know, they could
have it easily have a way betterlife. And you know, AI could
(34:05):
easily play an important role aspart of that. I mean, I'm
completely open to that. And I'malso aware that, you know, AI
might present some risks for usas humans as well, sure. It's
kind of all good. It's allcomplex. Yeah. And dumbing it
down to simple, simple things isnot necessarily the best way to
go forward.
Jeremy Melder (34:26):
So we're coming to winding up now because we we
said we're going to commit to 20minutes of doing this second
part of the journey, but just alittle bit of insight for people
about last apple if they chooseto jump off now and not listen
to the next episode, which Iwould hope they would want to
(34:47):
listen to the next episode. Butwhat what would you expect
people that attend a course or aweekend? Maybe not this time,
but next time I Living a richand purposeful life, what would
you expect they would? Or wouldor could get from this? It's
(35:08):
their own individual journey,just like you just shared, you
know, we're all on differentjourneys. What would you hope is
you've learned a lot, obviously,that you'd love to share.
Stephen Armytage (35:17):
Yeah, so so we have lots of transformational
retreats that go through ourplace. And they're all, you
know, they're all valuable. So,for me, the ideal person who
wants to go on lap or living arich and purposeful life is
somebody who aspires to do that.
And when they look at currentreality, they go, Well, that's
(35:37):
not, I'm not experiencing that.
And there's something in themthat says, I was built for more,
I've got more potential thanthis, I expected that life
wasn't gonna end up quite likethis. And they have got that
little voice in the back of thehead to say, this isn't quite
(35:59):
right, but I'm not sure wherethe answers are. So if you're
experiencing that, and some ofthose situations are often
precipitated by a significantmoment of transition, you know,
it could be may be maderedundant, could be finding out
that your job just doesn't floatyour boat anymore. Now, because
you're feeling a littlecompromised. You could be
(36:20):
feeling you know, shitty in arelationship, maybe you're your
partner have just, you know,committed adultery. You know,
there's a death and illness, youknow, something that's kind of
bumped you into your skin whereyou've gone. Wow, okay, I can
(36:42):
kind of all that noise ofliving, has just stepped back
because of this moment. And Idon't like what I feel or see
right now. And this doesn't feelright. Yeah. So if you're in
those, if you're in thatsituation, and you got a clear
path forward, then take thatclear path forward, take that
(37:02):
purposeful action, take thatuncomfortable action, if you
don't know, what is at thebottom of that what's gnawing at
your spinal cord, or whatever.
And you need feel like you needsome support group support to do
that, then Apple's going to helpyou find what root cause. And,
but that's not the only part ofthis. And I often see people
(37:29):
finding what the issue is, andthen they leave the retreat, or
they leave the course, or theyleave the counseling and the
difference between where theyare in current reality. And this
vision plays so far, that didn'thave the pragmatic tools to be
able to move towards it. That'swhy the 50% of the course 50% of
(37:49):
the retreat, is how do we nowmanifest and take purposeful
action towards what this placeof enrichment looks like, so
that we can make pragmatic stepsthat gives us the confidence to
continue. Because you know, thestats around people joining the
(38:10):
gym at the beginning of the yearto New Year, I'm gonna get a
Jeremy Melder (38:16):
lot of weight,
Stephen Armytage (38:18):
going to eat good, I'm going to admit it
drops off. Right. And it'sbecause that's just an it's a
notion doesn't have routine, itdoesn't have support, it doesn't
have awareness, it doesn't havethe pragmatics of incremental
progress towards because whenwe're happy, we're on purpose,
(38:42):
making progress. So unhappy islike this state that that clears
away pretty quickly. But we allknow when we're happy, aye, aye.
Aye, maybe move happy out of thelimelight and put enriched in
the limelight. Enrichmentprovides us with like this
(39:03):
furnace of power to makeprogress and every time we
enrich, and, you know, la Paul'sgot this circle of enrichment,
1212 areas of enrichment. Everytime we make an investment in
one of those little units. Itpowers the rest of the ring. And
(39:27):
identifying where you're overinvesting potentially, and where
you're often under investing inyour circle Live in Richmond,
because the underinvestmentleaks energy. So if you're not
taking care of, you know, youryour you know, you're not
playing to your talents andstrength. You're kind of
(39:49):
compromising yourself you'redoing really hard and you've
vocation because you've said noto being the artist or the
musician, or the accountant orwhatever it is, you know, being
good with numbers, whatever itis, if you say Saying no to
that. And you're playing yoursecond fiddle, third fiddle that
leaks energy out of your circleof enrichment. And if you say
yes to that, and I'm not sayinggo out and become an accountant
(40:11):
tomorrow, or you know, try to besteamed tomorrow or whatever,
but just recognizing that, byinvesting in that you're saying
yes to your innate enrichmentcircle, that then float the
energy circle. Because oftenwhen people are going through
these experiences, they loseenergy and can't sleep,
constantly tired, low energy. Sofor me the manifestation, the
(40:35):
second second part of theretreat, that, you know, the the
two plus days of the second halfof the retreat is around how do
we manifest? And how do we putin place the routines and the
checkpoints to allow us to besupported to go forward? So the
guys end up with a body who hasgot a vested interest in
(40:59):
supporting them, because it'salso reciprocated?
Jeremy Melder (41:03):
That's an important thing, isn't it in
terms of getting support,because a lot of people feel
very alone in their journeys.
And providing support is anelement that can help alleviate
some of that
Stephen Armytage (41:18):
mass massively. I mean, you and I
share share a men's group rally,we go to return up to men's
group every week, why don't wedo that? Because we're getting
support from men. And we, youknow, because knowing where we
need to go is one part of theprocess. The second thing is
then making tracking, you know,how are we tracking how we're
(41:40):
doing? And what are theobstacles? Yeah, and who else
has got some help that might beable to, and that's in, you
know, that that's incrediblyvaluable. So if you're on an
evolutionary journey, and yourpartner's not there with you,
firstly, get your partner there,you know, have that conversation
that I had with Sonya. But evenwithout that, having, having a
(42:01):
journey partner who's come fromthe retreat with the tools and
the orientation, and wants tosupport you, and you want to
support them, it's a beautifulunit, right? Absolutely.
Absolutely. And I think that,you know, that that, for me is
going to be where a hugepotential is going to come from
(42:21):
this retreat. And I haven't seenit done very well before.
Because it's, it's about having,you know, it's about, you know,
the retreat person or thecounselor or whatever,
continuing to have to be paid inthat process. There's constant
energy that's being expended byyou, the participant. And I'm
going well, why don't we justput together the two
(42:42):
participants, and they pay oneanother with an energetic
exchange that helps both ofthem? Absolutely. And if they
prove the model, that helps meas well. So why wouldn't we
replicate that? Because it'slike a free energy model?
Jeremy Melder (42:54):
Absolutely.
Steven, look, I want to thankyou, I think our listeners can
see that you've got a lot ofpassion behind what you're,
you're talking about here forsure. And so I want to leave now
to have a bit of a break and goto the next part, which is we're
going to be talking about alittle bit more in depth about
Laffel. And talking about yourisn't the 12 areas of law, Apple
(43:17):
and maybe go into that a bitmore. So, as I said in my first
episode, Stephens offering agreat discount of price for
beaming green listeners. So Iwould encourage you to go to law
apple.com.au and register yourinterest and mentioned that you
have listened to beaming grain,and that you'd love to come or
(43:39):
register for the next one. Andthen he's actually going to keep
you in, keep in touch with youand give you a hopefully another
discount for the next one. Ifyou can't make this one, but it
is selling up fast. I hear.
There's a lot of people showinginterest. So stay tuned. You'll
find out more in episode three.
Thanks, Steven. Thanks. Thanksfor tuning in to beaming green.
(44:07):
Don't forget to check out ourYouTube channel at beaming
green.com And leave us a reviewon your preferred podcast
platform or subscribe to us onYouTube. And a special thanks to
Dave Weir, and to Roman Sanicfrom Pixabay for producing some
amazing music. Keep livinggreen, and we'll see you next
(44:31):
time. Bye
Hello, my name is Jeremy melder, and I'm the
(00:02):
presenter from Beaming Green.
Before we start, I would like toacknowledge that this podcast is
being held on the traditionallands of the Bundjalung people
and paying our respects toelders both past, present and
emerging. Welcome to Season Twoof beaming green. Now available
on YouTube or your favoritepodcast platform. We offer an
(00:27):
array of inspiring guestsspeaking about their life
experiences, on topics includingsustainable living,
environmental issues, and humansustainability. So whether
you're a seasoned eco warrior,or just starting your
sustainability journey, BeamingGreen has something for
(00:48):
everyone. So join us for seasontwo. And let been some green
togetherwell, Stephen, welcome back to
Beaming Green. Now last episodewe were talking about, you know
(01:10):
what led to your midlife crisis?
Or what do you call it? What'sthe word you use your big tech,
spectacular midlife crisis? Andyour trip around Australia? And
what happened there? But I guesswe're interested in what
(01:31):
happened next. You you kind ofmoved to another state. And
things really moved from there,didn't they?
Stephen Armytage (01:44):
Yeah, they did. So yes, at the bottom of
the midlife crisis, and thecause for the midlife crisis,
the spectacular midlife crisiswas a real sense of not knowing
what was going on, and what wasthe cause of this discomfort
that I was experiencing. Andwhen I found out recognized
(02:05):
became aware that it was aboutmy concern around the direction
in which species is going, and,you know, we talked about, we
both campus, and we talk aboutgoing to a campsite. And it's,
it's a bit of a downer when youget to the campsite. And it's,
you know, this mess from otherpeople that have been there. And
(02:29):
even when it's pristine, youknow, it's just such a joy to go
to a pristine campsite. And whatI like to do, and I know you do
as well is that when we leavethe campsite, that we leave the
campsite, and even, you know,even an even better situation.
And I guess what I see as us asa species is we're not leaving
the campsite, being themetaphor, the world in in as
(02:51):
good a shape as when you and Ijoined it 50 something years
ago. And that really, reallygets to me. So. So that was my
aha. And as, as disconcerting asthat is, it kind of brought me
back into the driver's seat, Iwent, Okay, so I'm feeling
(03:14):
deeply depressed. But now I knowwhy I'm feeling deeply
depressed. And it was actuallyabout the fact there was two
aspects, the first aspect wasthat that big in an overwhelming
kind of a situation for those ofus that are connecting to that.
And that that puts us put me ina very uncomfortable states. So
(03:37):
that is that was going on forme. The second thing was the
realization that I wasn't doingas much as I could have possibly
been doing. Even though I had ahighly influential role,
consulting to the highest levelsof government on human
sustainability issues. TheDepartment of Human Human
(03:59):
Services, the Department ofEducation, the Department of
Family and Community Servicesand Indigenous Affairs, I mean,
I was consulting at the highestlevels to solve sustainable
issues for individuals, thepeople in the environment. So
that was great. But that wasn'tenough for me to resolve this
(04:21):
deep sense that we're notleaving the campsite in as good
a shape as we arrived. So forme, what I became what became
really aware is that I needed tobecome what I attend that I that
I coined, which was sustainablyauthentic. But it put me back
into the driver's seat. So yes,I still felt that, you know,
(04:42):
that, that yearning and thatdepression associated with how
bad the situation was. And I'mnot overdramatizing there. But
it also put me into a place ofquestioning how could I most
effectively, positivelycontribute to that situation? So
now I could act again. And I'muncomfortable when I can act.
(05:06):
I've spent a lifetime of actingin accordance to my guidance, I
guess. Yeah. So that's what thenext part of the journey was
about.
Jeremy Melder (05:14):
I just got a question for you. So you, as you
said, you're working in thehighest levels of, of
government. Right? Consulting toyou in consulting to, and I'm
just wondering whether even ourlisteners are thinking this, you
know, it's like, okay, so that'skind of a pretty pointed and
influential part that you couldbe coming from right. But you've
(05:36):
chosen to do it differently,why?
Stephen Armytage (05:39):
It just didn't. So I didn't feel. And
it's a valid question. I didn'tfeel that I was sustainably
authentic. At that time. Yeah.
And up until that time, I feltlike I was really congruent with
that requirement to leave thecampsite and in a better
condition as when I arrived. Butwith this new awareness about
this thing that had beencreeping up on me, I needed to
(06:01):
do more. And because I seemyself as a good man, I'm like,
well, if I'm a good man, then Ineed to do something about that.
And I can't expect anybody elseto do that. So I went through a
very, very personal journeyaround what it was to be
sustainable man, a sustainablefather, a sustainable husband, a
(06:27):
sustainable community member.
And what I had to do was pull abunch of stuff that wasn't
congruent with that. That waythat I was defining it. And you
know, the context is, we spentsix months on the road going
(06:49):
around Australia, in you know,pretty, we pretty much had
nothing, right? We had a, we hada pretty dodgy camper trailer
that was 25 years old, we cookedour meals on a gas stove, we had
a tiny little solar panel thatprovided all of our electricity
requirements. And we were livingan abundant enriched kind of
(07:10):
experience. There was nocompromise in that for me,
except maybe we're burning a bitmore diesel than I would have
liked. At my footprint inCanberra, where we lived, we had
this huge house that was veryenergy inefficient in summer to
call and be comfortable and veryenergy efficient, inefficient,
(07:31):
and winter to heat. And I went,Oh, that's just not congruent
with this man I want to be. AndI could probably build a mud
brick house or something inCanberra, that Canberra also
didn't seem to be the placeanymore. Now, because my work
there. Obviously, when I wasconsulting to federal
government, it was appropriatefor me to be there, then sure.
(07:53):
But I had a bigger job to do,which involved all aspects of
myself, but started, you know,with me, all change begins
within and then to us personallyand then. And then my
experiences, it ripples out fromthere into our primary
relationship, my my wife, mykids, my family members,
(08:18):
parents, if they're still alive,a mum was still like, my dad
wasn't alive at that point. Andit was about becoming authentic
in that manifestation of myselfwithout sounding too woowoo. So
I kind of unpeel the onion untilI got to a point where I felt
Yes, this is absolutely right.
And what are this? How am Igoing to rebuild this stack? And
(08:39):
and I went back to kind of rootcauses. So the question was,
okay, so I need to live in asustainably authentic way. And
that means I need to haveminimal carbon footprint,
basically. So an efficient housethat is comfortable, but not
necessarily as big as the one wehad in Canberra, being more
(09:00):
connected to our environment, sofinding a climate that was more
kind of connected to us, becausewe lived on the canvas for 12
months, was kind of like likingthe outdoors things. And the
thing about being outdoors isthat when I'm in the forest,
when I'm in nature, when I'm inthe water, I am more connected
to my higher self than when I'msitting in an office or when I'm
(09:24):
punching away at a computer orwhatever. So yeah, it was like a
it was a gradual kind ofrecalibration process for me to
find this thing calledSustainable authenticity. And I
read a bunch of books. Some ofthose were about, you know, kind
of taking a step back a bit likeSteiner, the Steiner education
(09:47):
process, where it's all aboutkind of connecting the child
connecting with themselves,connecting with their value set,
connecting with theirenvironment, and then connecting
with stories To kind of groundthem to, you know, history and
and building kind of a contextto to be a good human being, you
know, thriving in theirenvironment. So I kind of had to
(10:08):
do that for myself. And in fact,I've been read, I'm doing that
to talk today. You know, I'vegot a really strong mission now.
And I'm playing to that strongmission. And it's a constant
process of calibration. Going,am I where I thought I was going
to be? Where am I truly? Wherewould I love to be? What's my
highest self say I need to be?
(10:29):
And therefore, what's the coursecorrection that I need to make?
And it's, you know, it'sconstantly refining it's
constant refining process forrefinement process. So I did
that. And there was many helpersin the way. But basically, what
that did was at first, there wasa question as if we're not going
to live in Canberra, where arewe going to live? And we found
(10:51):
five really energetic, aliveplaces. And this area near Mount
warning was one of the ones oneof those five, and it of all,
the fire that felt the most,most practical, and the most
beautiful environment for us togrow our kids up, right. So
then, that 10 or 11, right?
Yeah. The weather was great. Itfelt like New Zealand, but it
(11:16):
was a bit warmer, it felt reallyenergetic alive, I had a
community of people that I knewpretty well, good spiritual
practice. And I was connectedwith my environment. So we spent
a year serendipity kind ofopened up again, a dear friend
decided to go to Scotland. Andhe said, you know, would you
(11:37):
like to rent our house, youknow, pay for the, for the
mortgage for three months? Whilewe're away? I don't know if
we'll be away for three months,or it might be more. So we said
yes. OB Yes. And we spent thattime that didn't come back for
11 months. That's nice. We spentthat time looking at all the
potential properties in thatarea that could serve what I
(11:58):
what I thought I could possiblydo, because when I look back, I
went well, okay. So if I floggedthe house in Canberra, then we
could buy a place that could befor expanded consciousness or,
or for people who have beenthrough my experience, to
(12:21):
connect them in a practical andpragmatic way to how they might
be sustainably authentic. So Igot interested in earth
building, I got interested incommunity building, I got
interested in, you know,sustainable living practices.
And those aren't all about, youknow, the environment and all
(12:45):
that kind of stuff. You know,sustainability for me is about
how do we live in a peaceful,harmonious, fun and sustainable
way. And to look aftereverything, and everybody,
including Mother Nature. So thisis the place we decided to, to
come to. And I thought, giventhat I'm a I'm a trained
(13:08):
educator and a reasonably goodcommunicator, that maybe I could
build some curriculum, somepractice and provide a place for
kids in the first instance, tocome and have a camp have a
sustainable school experience.
And because now my colleaguesfrom my teaching past and our
(13:29):
headmaster's and staff, I said,Look, you know, is this
something that that could ride?
Could it work? And because I wasworried about, I wasn't worried,
but I'm like curious about.
Okay, so how am I going to putfood on the table? Yeah. And
live and make a contribution?
And it's like, that's a prettybig question, right? And it's a
big question that everybody haswhen they're going through these
(13:51):
moments of transition. And thepropensity for me is to go back
to what I already knew. But Iknew that going back to being a
management consultant, asinfluential as it was, at the
highest levels of government,and I'm not saying that, I don't
want to overblow that, but Ididn't, I was carrying, you
(14:12):
know, independent influencearound particular issues. But it
wasn't about that. For me, itwas actually about finding what
was that about? What was aboutthat, that notion of sustainable
authenticity that landed for mepersonally, and then my wife, my
primary relationship, and thenmy kids, and then, you know, and
(14:34):
so on, and so forth. So Idreamed up this idea of,
basically an eco camp for kidsto do to have sustainable
experience that's connected toto the bush. Yeah. So yeah.
Jeremy Melder (14:52):
How did that work for you? Like, I guess, you
know, you would had a couple ofchallenges in it. You know, how
did your family react to that?
In terms of what you wanted todo? Because this is something
that you've, you've got on amission that you'd like to
follow, but like, was yourpartner and your kids happy
about this?
Stephen Armytage (15:12):
Yeah, look, the kids were pretty happy. I
mean, the kids, the kids trustedus right? In their 9 and 11. My
mum and dad go, they kind of go,you know, the, the male variety
of the children, he was reallycomfortable with this, and the
female variety, she was like,Well, I want to go back to
Canberra, I want to go back toSteiner School, and I want to be
(15:33):
with my friends. But when when Iwe looked at that, objectively,
it's like, we really understoodthat, you know, we were her safe
harbor. And we can still provideher with a safe harbor and
access to her friends. Andnothing's ever the same when you
(15:56):
go back to where you were. It'sgot glimpses of it, but we're in
a timeline, a time continuum,it's always changing. So I felt
comfortable about the mostimportant thing was to provide a
safe harbor for her. And anenvironment. We're all where we
were all congruent with, I'veonly set with my wife. That was
(16:18):
that was like a eight monthjourney, I guess. And there was,
you know, people that knew usboth. I'd be like, people to how
things are going for you. Um,that's amazing, you know? Oh, my
God. That's incredible dream andblah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
right. And I think I enhance howSonya? And I go, yeah, she's
(16:39):
great. She's totally on board.
And they kind of go,
Jeremy Melder (16:42):
are you sure?
Stephen Armytage (16:43):
Exactly. Are you sure. And during that eight
months, there was, you know,that was, that was a time where
my passion and my realizationkind of hadn't caught up with
her. And she's, you know,questioning, you know, how do I
(17:06):
fit with this? M? And there wasno question that she agree that
that was the right thing for usto do. It was the how we were
going to do that. And even thequestion of whether or not we're
going to land here was aquestion of contention. She's
Italian, lots of culture aroundfamily, big drawback to
Melbourne, aging parents. Thatwe were able to take it off step
(17:32):
by step, and kind of to movedown that continuum. And then we
ended up in, you know, beforewe, you know, right, there was
there was this kind of cruciblemoment where there was so much
heat and pressure on us. And Iremember one day where I was
literally in tears. And I said,Look, I just give this whole
(17:55):
dream away, if that's what youwant me to do, because I'm more
committed to you than I am toanything else, other than my own
kind of personal development.
And in that moment, I thinkshe's, she then believed me
probably for the for the firsttime again in eight months. And
she's like, okay. And I kind ofsomething snapped. I mean, what
(18:16):
she wanted was she wantedeverything that I was choosing.
And she wanted, for my dream tohave infrastructure rather than
a bare piece of land, because Iwas looking into 1000 acres.
That's right. And nowinfrastructure, so she wanted a
house. Not so unreasonable for awife and a mother. She wanted to
a sealed driveway. She wanted areliable water source and
(18:43):
electrical source. And shewanted to be 15 minutes to the
kids school. Not sounreasonable, right? Not really.
And I'm like, Okay, well, that'sgreat. But we've only got we've
sold the house in Canberra anddone pretty well and got a
little bit more money than we,we bought it for. But I'm like,
that's a really finite resource.
(19:05):
And you're getting what youwant, and me getting what I
want. It's like, or I want whatyou want, but it's like, I just
don't see how that goestogether. And we've been I've
been doing a lot of study aroundmanifestation. And I learned and
I have learned as cuckoo is thisounce that the how is not
(19:26):
actually necessarily ourresponsibility if we're going to
manifest on a large scale.
What's important is actually tobe congruent with what you're
looking to manifest your visionwhat you would love. So, you
know, she said, But wouldn't youlike that as well? Wouldn't you
like some infrastructure foryour for your sustainable? When
you like a house, and I go,Yeah, yeah, but it's not fucking
(19:46):
possible. You know, I don't seeit being possible. Yeah. Jesus.
Yeah, but but do you want thatand I go, Yeah, of course I do.
In hindsight, the thing I wouldhave wished for is a creek that
ran through the place and I kindof said, but I said the I want
that as well. And Jeremy,believe it or not, she found the
property, we ended up buyingthat nine on the internet.
Jeremy Melder (20:12):
I remember that moment. It was crazy.
Stephen Armytage (20:16):
And there's there's a whole nother story
about how that process thingplayed out. But it was about a
pivotal moment was to because Ihave, I had an unwavering
commitment to her and ourrelationship. And I had this
dream. And I hadn't acknowledgedher part of that dream, which
(20:37):
was the house and stuff becauseI for practical reasons, I
didn't feel like we had theright amount of money to be able
to afford that. I kind of feltlike if I went to a real estate
agent and said, Hey, I'd likeall these things. And I've only
got this much money, the realestate agent would be going,
that's great. Let me refer youto my competitors, because
you're an idiot.
Jeremy Melder (20:56):
Call a psychologist.
Stephen Armytage (21:01):
Exactly.
Right. So the proposition wasridiculous, right? So I'm going
this doesn't compute. But whatwas important is that I just
needed to choose that. Thatchoice was congruent with both
of us. So I choose herprimarily. And I choose the
secondary thing with hertogether. And as soon as that
happened, the miracle occurred.
(21:25):
The miracle, which is now calledclimate, eco retreat and spa,
which people now think is like areal thing. But it was, it
wasn't a real thing, then it wasjust, it was just a dream. And
that's the power ofmanifestation. And it's
illogical. And it's like magic.
Because we don't have anythingin our context to explain how
that can happen. You know, whenwe go to school, they don't
(21:46):
teach us about manifestation.
And that's why part of thesecond part of my life or
course, living a rich andpurposeful life is about
manifestation. The first part ofit is, what do you want? Because
that's the hardest thing. Yeah.
What do you truly want? And whatis in alignment with you, your
soul and all the other decisionsyou're making? Like your
(22:08):
partner? The thing was, I'd madea decision about something, but
it wasn't in alignment with mypartner's decision. And we
needed to get common ground. Andwhen we got there, ridiculous as
it sounds this thing manifested.
Jeremy Melder (22:22):
Yeah. I mean, how many people do you think go
through this really, right?
There's so many couples, even,it's even a struggle doing it on
your own, but you know, evenwith couples is quite a big
negotiation, and actually comingon to the same level ground,
it's like, how do you get tothat point, you know, with, with
someone, because we're alldifferent, we really are, it's
(22:44):
like, you might love each otherto pieces, you know, but at the
at the same time, you don't youwant what you want, the other
person wants what they want, andyou got to marry that too. So I
think that's, you know, asuccessful outcome that you and
Sonya have achieved, because Ican see how it's manifested now,
(23:05):
years along, you know, down thetrack. And I guess I've got a
question in terms of throughthat process, you know, over
that period. So you've got, nowyou've got daimyo eco retreat,
and you've been going throughyour own personal journey, or
journeys together, becausethere's obviously journeys that
you both would have gonethrough. And what the other
(23:27):
influences that came into thisin terms of influencing you in
your mindset, that helped you?
Stephen Armytage (23:38):
Totally, absolutely, yeah, 1000s of them,
right. Yeah. Yeah, and thething, the thing that. So I just
want to say a little something alittle bit about what you were
talking about with Sonya and me.
I think everybody goes throughit. The thing is that there
doesn't seem to be culture inour contemporary Australian
environment, to say, hey,firstly, these crisises are
(24:00):
normal. And you got to do thework for yourself. First and
foremost, if you get arealization and transformation,
the next stage of that processis you need to make that
harmonize that in yourenvironment. And as part of
that, your environment mightchange, like a relationship
might break down, because it'sno longer congruent with who you
(24:21):
truly are. And I think that's tobe celebrated. Yeah. But also, I
don't think that's the defaultanswer. Because you see, so I
see so many marriages thatfinish when the kids are, you
know, 10 or 11, or 12, or1315 16. Because the parents
finally go, Oh, great. The kidsdon't need me anymore. Now. Now
(24:41):
I can go and be me. Because Iknow love will no longer love
her or him. And I think that'sfirstly a bit dangerous. That
notion because, for me thatprocess that Sonia and I went
through for eight months. Thatcould be orchestra Do it in a
much more efficient andeffective way if there was
somebody who was guiding us, butwe had to do that on our own, or
(25:04):
it felt like we had to do it onour own. So I'm like part of me
is going where is our humanculture to help us to navigate
these very identifiable momentsin our lives and our life's
journeys. And we don't have tojettison relationships in order
to evolve. But we do need to dosomething in the relationship to
support the evolution of therelationship. So I just wanted
(25:27):
to say that. So I think that inour future, Sonya, and I've got
some work around relationships.
Sure. To come back to your otherquestion, I think everybody's
going through, you know,significant moments of
transition, I've mapped 60 ofthem. They are unavoidable. Some
(25:47):
of them are good, some of themare bad. Some of them can smash
you to the ground, and some ofthem can kill you. I've seen
those things. You know, yourpeople having heart attacks,
without sounding woowoo, right.
I don't think all this is justassociated with, you know,
physical conditions, I actuallythink there's some other things
in play. It's kind of likemanifesting, like miracles. It's
like, if I don't listen to whatmy souls agenda is, I get
(26:10):
smashed. It's like a big wavethat smashes me to the ground
and grazes my face, I have hadthat experience. I'm a science
guy. And I go, if I'm not inalignment with my soul's agenda,
I get the shit kicked out. And Itotally
Jeremy Melder (26:24):
get that, you know, like, with my rheumatoid
arthritis, my body is tellinggiven me lots of signs, you
know, that there's somethinggoing on? And I need to listen,
you know, like it you otherpeople listening might think
it's, I agree, you know, but youdo, it's about for me, I've now
got this aha thing that I justhave to slow down a bit. I'm
(26:47):
going too fast. I'm overworkingit, I'm not approaching it in
the right way. All of thesethings are signs, I think,
Stephen Armytage (26:56):
exactly. And I don't know about you. But when
I, when I get back into apattern, that's not supporting
my highest good, my symptomsturn up. You're you rheumatoid
arthritis is my depression. AndI that comes up and down, it
goes up and down in waves, andmy behavior, my intention, my
(27:16):
focus can change that. Yeah. AndI'm getting reasonably good at
responding to that, as youprobably are around diet and
exercise and mindset, and allthat sort of stuff, you fix your
rheumatoid arthritis, and thedoctors will go, No, you've got
it all. And you've just got toput up with it. And yeah, and
that degree, if you feel like,if you feel like a victim in
your life, then then we canaccept that, right? And it's
(27:38):
like, there's lots of statisticsthat say that if you've got
depression, you're more likelyto get depression. And it's
gonna get worse and worse andworse. But actually, my
experience is that I've haddepression. And if I bring
awareness from these variousteachers, which is the third
part of your question, then Ican learn you know,
neuroplasticity is a thing. Andour minds are not the center of
(27:59):
the universe. For me, I thinkthe soul is setting the agenda.
So intuition agenda, absolutely.
My mind should be a tool of myof my soul. If I look at the
hierarchy, soul is what soulsorientation is like, key for me.
Jeremy Melder (28:14):
I agree with that statement. Because I think that
a lot of us, including myself,over time, have recognized this,
you know, that you can get socaught up in what's going on up
in your head. But really,ultimately, there is a soul
agenda within yourself. And youmight not be aware of it, but
you have to surrender a littlebit towards that and say, Okay,
(28:35):
I don't have the answer, becauseyou're trying to run this from
your head. But if you're quiet,if I quiet and myself, plug
myself in nature, I might get alittle bit of an answer for it.
You know what I mean? I alwaysfind in nature, there's an
answer
Stephen Armytage (28:49):
comes through in nature, there's an answer,
and that's profound. Exactly.
And that was my realization aswell, because my antidote to my,
my lack of understanding duringthe spectacular midlife crisis,
my antidote was to just to sinkinto my family, and to sink into
nature, and to be in a war. Andas part of that process, you
(29:14):
know, the answers kind offlowed. But I had so much going
on up there. I talked about itbeing, you know, clearing my
internal mailbox. Yeah. I wasn'table to hear it, but definitely
the antidotes were family, doingstuff that I love the things
that enrich me and immersing ina natural environment. And then
(29:35):
from there when I was startingto do the rebuild, so I was
reading a bunch of books I was,you know, going back. So almost
nobody helped me to understandhow to navigate to the aha
moment of what was the rootcause of my spectacular midlife
crisis. Psychologists had acrack at it, but maybe I'm slow
or whatever, but nobody reallyhelped me with that. But after I
(29:59):
had a realization that I neededto become sustainably authentic,
I could then start to dialoguewith people and I was just
dialoguing everywhere,attending, you know, kind of
Melbourne sustainabilityconferences and traveling to New
Zealand and, you know, gettingdeep in some of my spiritual
practices and, you know, just gointo workshops and all that kind
of stuff. And I guess what I wasdoing then was going, Okay, so
(30:20):
I'm an optimizer, I class myselfas an optimizer. And that meets
and complex problem solver. Andthat made me a pretty good
management consultant, becauseI'd look at the entire frame
maybe greater than the frame,and then diagnose what the
issues were, then look forpragmatic and an implementable
solutions. So I did that to thissituation, right? Because what
(30:41):
my hypothesis is, okay, so thisis my hypothesis. So if we're
not leaving the metaphoricalcampsite, in the right shape, so
how do we get to a place wherewe do that? For me, we need to
first part of it is that we needto get everybody connected to
(31:02):
source not connected to whatthey think they should be doing.
But getting them connected towhat's important. That's the
first thing. And then the secondthing is then to provide them
with a mechanism by which tothen start to move towards their
(31:23):
own version of functionality. Soas part of that process, I
realized that I needed to modelfor myself and then potentially
others, what's the standard, myversion of sustainable
authenticity was about. Sohaving an eco retreat, a place
(31:46):
of consciousness that'sconnected to the beautiful
environment, allowing trends ofsupporting transformational
growth and change, that's like agreat thing to do, right. So
that's where we were trackingtowards, and, you know, I had
Murieta teachers there. And alsomyriads of opportunities to
waste time, and to go downrabbit holes, and all that kind
(32:08):
of stuff. And I guess, as partof my journey, I've just learned
the power of my mind, but alsothe power of just listening to
my gut feel listening to myintuition, and saying yes to
that, even if it doesn't alwayslogically line up. Because that
allowed me and it allows mestill to make quicker and better
decisions. So, you know, so forme, it was about getting a
(32:32):
feeling of a person or, or abook or whatever, and going, you
know, is there value there, eventhough it may not seem logical,
then, if I feel it, just do it,and even if it felt logical, and
it didn't feel right, they'renot doing it, you know, just
just following that path. Andgetting better at that, and, and
taking a personal diary of, youknow, where I feel like I'm
(32:57):
making progress towards mymission, coke, creating
peaceful, harmonious, fun andsustainable world. And when I'm
not, I did a whole bunch ofmen's work, actually, yeah, you
know, we came together aroundmankind project, and mankind
project, I got almost completemission came down to me in one
of the processes, and I will beforever grateful for that
(33:20):
process, right. And so, youknow, there's lots of
opportunity for growth andgetting out of ourselves. But,
you know, for me, it's about Ifeel like, my role is to help
make some of these kinds ofwisdom of the ages, things more
accessible for people. And Idon't care how to do that. I
(33:43):
just, that's my mission. And ifso that gets people into their
hearts and knowing what'simportant to them, then there's
a good chance that we're allgoing to start, you know,
behaving in a more functionalway. And if we do that, then
hey, we might leave the campsitein the shade. And then our kids
kids won't have to live incompromise. You know, they could
have it easily have a way betterlife. And you know, AI could
(34:05):
easily play an important role aspart of that. I mean, I'm
completely open to that. And I'malso aware that, you know, AI
might present some risks for usas humans as well, sure. It's
kind of all good. It's allcomplex. Yeah. And dumbing it
down to simple, simple things isnot necessarily the best way to
go forward.
Jeremy Melder (34:26):
So we're coming to winding up now because we we
said we're going to commit to 20minutes of doing this second
part of the journey, but just alittle bit of insight for people
about last apple if they chooseto jump off now and not listen
to the next episode, which Iwould hope they would want to
(34:47):
listen to the next episode. Butwhat what would you expect
people that attend a course or aweekend? Maybe not this time,
but next time I Living a richand purposeful life, what would
you expect they would? Or wouldor could get from this? It's
(35:08):
their own individual journey,just like you just shared, you
know, we're all on differentjourneys. What would you hope is
you've learned a lot, obviously,that you'd love to share.
Stephen Armytage (35:17):
Yeah, so so we have lots of transformational
retreats that go through ourplace. And they're all, you
know, they're all valuable. So,for me, the ideal person who
wants to go on lap or living arich and purposeful life is
somebody who aspires to do that.
And when they look at currentreality, they go, Well, that's
(35:37):
not, I'm not experiencing that.
And there's something in themthat says, I was built for more,
I've got more potential thanthis, I expected that life
wasn't gonna end up quite likethis. And they have got that
little voice in the back of thehead to say, this isn't quite
(35:59):
right, but I'm not sure wherethe answers are. So if you're
experiencing that, and some ofthose situations are often
precipitated by a significantmoment of transition, you know,
it could be may be maderedundant, could be finding out
that your job just doesn't floatyour boat anymore. Now, because
you're feeling a littlecompromised. You could be
(36:20):
feeling you know, shitty in arelationship, maybe you're your
partner have just, you know,committed adultery. You know,
there's a death and illness, youknow, something that's kind of
bumped you into your skin whereyou've gone. Wow, okay, I can
(36:42):
kind of all that noise ofliving, has just stepped back
because of this moment. And Idon't like what I feel or see
right now. And this doesn't feelright. Yeah. So if you're in
those, if you're in thatsituation, and you got a clear
path forward, then take thatclear path forward, take that
(37:02):
purposeful action, take thatuncomfortable action, if you
don't know, what is at thebottom of that what's gnawing at
your spinal cord, or whatever.
And you need feel like you needsome support group support to do
that, then Apple's going to helpyou find what root cause. And,
but that's not the only part ofthis. And I often see people
(37:29):
finding what the issue is, andthen they leave the retreat, or
they leave the course, or theyleave the counseling and the
difference between where theyare in current reality. And this
vision plays so far, that didn'thave the pragmatic tools to be
able to move towards it. That'swhy the 50% of the course 50% of
(37:49):
the retreat, is how do we nowmanifest and take purposeful
action towards what this placeof enrichment looks like, so
that we can make pragmatic stepsthat gives us the confidence to
continue. Because you know, thestats around people joining the
(38:10):
gym at the beginning of the yearto New Year, I'm gonna get a
Jeremy Melder (38:16):
lot of weight,
Stephen Armytage (38:18):
going to eat good, I'm going to admit it
drops off. Right. And it'sbecause that's just an it's a
notion doesn't have routine, itdoesn't have support, it doesn't
have awareness, it doesn't havethe pragmatics of incremental
progress towards because whenwe're happy, we're on purpose,
(38:42):
making progress. So unhappy islike this state that that clears
away pretty quickly. But we allknow when we're happy, aye, aye.
Aye, maybe move happy out of thelimelight and put enriched in
the limelight. Enrichmentprovides us with like this
(39:03):
furnace of power to makeprogress and every time we
enrich, and, you know, la Paul'sgot this circle of enrichment,
1212 areas of enrichment. Everytime we make an investment in
one of those little units. Itpowers the rest of the ring. And
(39:27):
identifying where you're overinvesting potentially, and where
you're often under investing inyour circle Live in Richmond,
because the underinvestmentleaks energy. So if you're not
taking care of, you know, youryour you know, you're not
playing to your talents andstrength. You're kind of
(39:49):
compromising yourself you'redoing really hard and you've
vocation because you've said noto being the artist or the
musician, or the accountant orwhatever it is, you know, being
good with numbers, whatever itis, if you say Saying no to
that. And you're playing yoursecond fiddle, third fiddle that
leaks energy out of your circleof enrichment. And if you say
yes to that, and I'm not sayinggo out and become an accountant
(40:11):
tomorrow, or you know, try to besteamed tomorrow or whatever,
but just recognizing that, byinvesting in that you're saying
yes to your innate enrichmentcircle, that then float the
energy circle. Because oftenwhen people are going through
these experiences, they loseenergy and can't sleep,
constantly tired, low energy. Sofor me the manifestation, the
(40:35):
second second part of theretreat, that, you know, the the
two plus days of the second halfof the retreat is around how do
we manifest? And how do we putin place the routines and the
checkpoints to allow us to besupported to go forward? So the
guys end up with a body who hasgot a vested interest in
(40:59):
supporting them, because it'salso reciprocated?
Jeremy Melder (41:03):
That's an important thing, isn't it in
terms of getting support,because a lot of people feel
very alone in their journeys.
And providing support is anelement that can help alleviate
some of that
Stephen Armytage (41:18):
mass massively. I mean, you and I
share share a men's group rally,we go to return up to men's
group every week, why don't wedo that? Because we're getting
support from men. And we, youknow, because knowing where we
need to go is one part of theprocess. The second thing is
then making tracking, you know,how are we tracking how we're
(41:40):
doing? And what are theobstacles? Yeah, and who else
has got some help that might beable to, and that's in, you
know, that that's incrediblyvaluable. So if you're on an
evolutionary journey, and yourpartner's not there with you,
firstly, get your partner there,you know, have that conversation
that I had with Sonya. But evenwithout that, having, having a
(42:01):
journey partner who's come fromthe retreat with the tools and
the orientation, and wants tosupport you, and you want to
support them, it's a beautifulunit, right? Absolutely.
Absolutely. And I think that,you know, that that, for me is
going to be where a hugepotential is going to come from
(42:21):
this retreat. And I haven't seenit done very well before.
Because it's, it's about having,you know, it's about, you know,
the retreat person or thecounselor or whatever,
continuing to have to be paid inthat process. There's constant
energy that's being expended byyou, the participant. And I'm
going well, why don't we justput together the two
(42:42):
participants, and they pay oneanother with an energetic
exchange that helps both ofthem? Absolutely. And if they
prove the model, that helps meas well. So why wouldn't we
replicate that? Because it'slike a free energy model?
Jeremy Melder (42:54):
Absolutely.
Steven, look, I want to thankyou, I think our listeners can
see that you've got a lot ofpassion behind what you're,
you're talking about here forsure. And so I want to leave now
to have a bit of a break and goto the next part, which is we're
going to be talking about alittle bit more in depth about
Laffel. And talking about yourisn't the 12 areas of law, Apple
(43:17):
and maybe go into that a bitmore. So, as I said in my first
episode, Stephens offering agreat discount of price for
beaming green listeners. So Iwould encourage you to go to law
apple.com.au and register yourinterest and mentioned that you
have listened to beaming grain,and that you'd love to come or
(43:39):
register for the next one. Andthen he's actually going to keep
you in, keep in touch with youand give you a hopefully another
discount for the next one. Ifyou can't make this one, but it
is selling up fast. I hear.
There's a lot of people showinginterest. So stay tuned. You'll
find out more in episode three.
Thanks, Steven. Thanks. Thanksfor tuning in to beaming green.
(44:07):
Don't forget to check out ourYouTube channel at beaming
green.com And leave us a reviewon your preferred podcast
platform or subscribe to us onYouTube. And a special thanks to
Dave Weir, and to Roman Sanicfrom Pixabay for producing some
amazing music. Keep livinggreen, and we'll see you next
(44:31):
time. Bye
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