April 26, 2023 • 40 mins
Are you ready to to live a rich and purposeful life?
In this episode of the podcast, I sit down with Stephen Armytage to discuss his upcoming program, Living a Rich and Purposeful Life. Stephen has spent the last 15 years developing a universal approach to helping people live a fulfilling and thriving life. During the conversation, Stephen shares his personal journey of hitting rock bottom and how it led him to reinvent his life. He also discusses how COVID-19 has presented an opportunity for deep reflection and how his program can help people move into a new phase of their lives. Living a Rich and Purposeful Life is a four-night retreat, aimed at those who feel disconnected and are asking questions like "Is this all life's about?"
The program is designed to assist people in living a rich and purposeful life, which for Stephen, is a thriving life. We also delve into the importance of taking purposeful steps towards the kind of life you want to live, and how his program can help people do just that.
The episode concludes with Stephen sharing a snippet of how his program came about and how he has evolved over the years. We delve deep in a three part interview that will provide you with an insight into how he got to where he is now.
If you're feeling a little off-color or disconnected, then this episode is a must-listen. It's a great opportunity to learn about how you can start living a more purposeful and fulfilling life. For more information about the upcoming retreat visit. https://larpl.com.au/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jeremy Melder (00:00):
Hello, my name is Jeremy melder, and I'm the
(00:02):
presenter from beaming green.
Before we start, I would like toacknowledge that this podcast is
being held on the traditionallands of the Bundjalung people
and paying our respects toelders both past, present and
emerging. Welcome to Season Twoof beaming grain. Now available
on YouTube or your favoritepodcast platform. We offer a
(00:27):
array of inspiring guestsspeaking about their life
experiences, on topics includingsustainable living,
environmental issues, and humansustainability. So whether
you're a seasoned eco warrior,or just starting your
sustainability journey, beamingGreen has something for
(00:48):
everyone. So join us for seasontwo, and let been some Greenham
together.
So Steven, welcome to beaminggreen. Now, it's been so long
(01:12):
that I've done an episode. I'mfeeling a little bit raw here.
And to say that we're now infront of a camera is another
challenge. But I'm glad to bewith my good buddy. And doing
this live with you on camera. Sowelcome.
Stephen Armytage (01:30):
Thanks, Jeremy. Yeah, it's a pleasure to
be here. And I guess I'm feelingslightly uncomfortable with
things in my ears, a bigmicrophone in front of me and a
camera. So thanks for theopportunity.
Jeremy Melder (01:45):
It's great. Look, I know you've been plotting and
scheming over the last fewyears, and you've come up with
this you beaut program thatyou're going to be launching
very, very soon. Do you want totell us a little bit about it?
Stephen Armytage (02:01):
Yet? Sure.
Well, thanks. It's, it's calledLiving a rich and purposeful
life. And it's a four nightretreat. Five days, if you will.
And it's all about assistingpeople to live what the name
says. So assisting people to, tolive a rich and purposeful life,
which for me, is a thrivinglife. And for those people that
(02:22):
are out there that I guessaren't feeling like they're
thriving, they've maybe thrivedat a moment in their life. But
they're feeling a little offcolor, a little louder,
vibration, a little disconnectedand asking questions like, Is
this all life's about? You know,I kind of thought life was gonna
end up a bit different fromthis, do I need to settle with
(02:43):
this, don't settle with this jobor this relationship, or this
term time in my life. And, and Iguess for those people that are
feeling that, firstly, I feel Ifeel your pain, because I've
been through that. And, and I doactually feel like there's
there's some great options onoffer. And I've spent, I guess,
the last 15 years cracking, whatI believe is a universal
(03:08):
approach to, to doing that. Andthat's what I'm offering over a
four night five day experiencecalled Living a rich and
purposeful life or lapo, forshort, larval
Jeremy Melder (03:21):
Yes, look, do you think, you know, we've just
overcome COVID Or we believewe've come overcome COVID. And I
think a lot of people werereflecting during that period of
time as to their life, theirlife purpose and so on. Do you
believe this is something anopportunity for someone to come
(03:43):
on a course like this, toreflect and learn and and move
forward with that?
Stephen Armytage (03:50):
Absolutely.
And I think, you know, Apple,should I say COVID has presented
two opportunities. One is for,for, for a deep sense of
reflection. And I think for lotsof people COVID brought lots of
gifts. And if you have feltpropelled from COVID, to change
your life and to make it betterthan all good to you. For those
(04:12):
people who are kind of sittingmore in a lower vibration from
from law school, they've they'vekind of had time to reflect on
their life. And they don'treally love everything that they
see, there are aspects in theirlife that they want to change,
and they perhaps not clear abouthow they might do that, then I
(04:35):
think that that label is atremendous opportunity for those
people to move into a to a newphase of their life to to take a
purposeful step towards the kindof life they'd like to live and
that's what larval is all about.
Jeremy Melder (04:53):
So I've witnessed your your evolution, so to speak
of where you want it to be, andso on. And do you for our
listeners? Would you like togive a little bit of a snippet
of how this all started and cameabout for you? 15 years ago?
Stephen Armytage (05:08):
Yeah. So, so I had. So I've always enjoyed a
pretty good life. I suspect likemost of your listeners, you
know, there's been some highpoints and some low points and,
and I hit a really big lowpoint, 14 years ago. I was, was
(05:30):
married and still married at thesame woman. Good, I'm proud to
say two gorgeous kids who arenow you know, thriving adults, a
tremendous career and things aregoing really well, in my kind of
out out my outward facing world,my social media world was
(05:50):
looking good with I'm not a bigsocial media player. It was an
enviable lifestyle, but therewas something that was kind of
wrong in what was going on, Ifelt that I felt that tickle of
something's not quite right. Andwhen I I had and a big network
of people, and when I kind ofwas having the searching
(06:13):
conversations with those people,nobody seemed to be able to
provide me with, with answers,the answers I was looking for,
in fact, even able to kind of,you know, helped me to find the
path. So I went on more than ametaphorical kind of journey to
kind of find out what was whatwas going on. And then
eventuated in a trip aroundAustralia, with my wife, and my
(06:33):
kids, and I parked my, my, myprofessional career, which I'd
striven for 20 years to kind ofbuild to the top. And I guess on
the way around Australia, I wassitting on a beach in Cape of
eek which is northern WesternAustralia, about broom. And it
just dawned on me, the bit thatwas missing the bit of my life
(06:56):
that I guess that the awarenessthat was missing for me that I
needed to kind of finish thejigsaw puzzle, so that I could
step into the next phase of mylife. And that, for me, really
was a i, we completelyreinvented our life, I guess.
(07:19):
And it doesn't need to be thatdramatic. But it was dramatic
for me. And it involves me notgoing back to the partnership
that I was in, it involved usmoving into state. So yeah, so
we did a tree change, and that,and now we're talking about tree
changes, I guess, 14 years ago,and there was lots of examples
(07:42):
of tree changes that have soldup and actually found they were
moving into a lifestyle thatdidn't suit them at all. We
found that, you know, takingthat whole transformative kind
of period, it took me six monthsto work out what was missing.
And then it took me maybe 14years to put all the pieces
(08:05):
together to get back on track.
And we invented and reinventedourselves. And we now have, you
know, a lifestyle that feelslike it's very congruent and in
alignment with our value set.
Not to say that it wasn't likethat previously, because it was
I guess we've just, I, we havejust stepped up to the next
(08:26):
level and, and the lifestylechecked all of the boxes, that
that, that were really importantfor us, starting with connection
to who we truly are, who I trulyam. The relationship I want with
my my life partner, therelationship that I wanted to
build with my kids, probably themost important relationships
(08:49):
after my relationship withSonia. And then how I turned up
in the rest of my relationshipswith my family, my community, my
relationship with place wasreally important. And then how
do I get alignment all the waythrough my life from there. And
it's been a process of doingthat. And, and I feel like, you
(09:11):
know, we're really, I'm reallyin a place of thriving now. And
in a place of giving back. It'snot to say that my life's
perfect every day. You know,yesterday, I woke up tired and
kind of drag my ass around forthe whole day kind of licking my
wounds and feeling a bit sorryfor myself. So, you know, it's
not a Nirvana that I'm in, but Icertainly feel like over the
(09:34):
last 14 years, my life has gonefrom really good to even better
than really good.
Jeremy Melder (09:41):
Yeah. Yeah. So it's kind of like you're
sharpening your pencil, youknow, because we've all got,
we've all got, you know, a goalthat we're trying to achieve,
but it's kind of like we'retrying to find where we fit in,
in this jigsaw puzzle of life,you know, and what our core
values are, you know, because wethink We know what our core
(10:01):
values are. But we kind of,well, I think I find different
bits or aspects of myself that Ididn't know about very well. And
the further I go into that,that, that is sharpening my
pencil a little bit more to so.
So that's really what I want.
This is what I want to get outof this is my understanding gets
(10:22):
deeper in that aspect of mylife. So I guess that's what
you're going through in that 15year phase? Well, most of our
lives, we're going through thisnot just 15 years, because
you're a little bit older than15. But you know, so So I guess
we're all, you know, being madeaware of some of our, you know,
(10:43):
vulnerabilities.
Stephen Armytage (10:45):
Absolutely.
And I love your analogy, thesharpening the pencil thing is a
great analogy. And, you know,for me, I'm pretty pragmatic
kind of a guy. And I realize youcan actually over sharpen your
pencil as well, if you make itto fine, the end snaps off. And
I think that's kind of whathappened to those tree changes I
was talking about, they kind ofgoing, geez, I'm really
dissatisfied with my life rightnow. And they kind of, it's like
(11:06):
throwing the baby out with thebathwater, you know, they go for
a big jump, because they'redissatisfied with what's
currently going on. And ratherthan kind of going through a
process of refinement, they'vegone for a place of, you know,
step change. And if you don'thave the basis for that step
change, you can step intosomething that's not something
you want to be where you want tobe. So think that process of
(11:28):
sharpening the pencil and honingthe pencil. And in fact, for me,
it's about working out that thepencils not just one color, it's
actually 12 colors in my pencil,and the importance of making
sure that I've got balanced andeach of those 12 colors. That's
been really key for me.
Jeremy Melder (11:48):
Excellent. So Steven, you were sharing, we
were camping a few weeks ago,and you were sharing with us
around or we didn't have acampfire, but we're sitting
around a circle havingbreakfast. And you're sharing
one of the stories which I thinkis useful for our listeners
about this gentleman that had aquite a substantial rig and the
(12:11):
status of his life, if youwouldn't mind sharing that
because I think that's kind ofpertinent to this conversation.
Stephen Armytage (12:19):
Yeah, well, thanks. I think I just made
everybody coffee on my, on myguest via coffee machine. Henry.
Yeah. So good burrito. So, yeah,so we we ended up this as part
of this journey, we ended up inBerlin, as lots of people do
going around Australia. And wewere just at the end of the the
(12:40):
dry season. So perfectconditions. And we stopped in a
caravan park. And on the way tokeep the week we were I had my
you know, my big awarenessmoment. And I noticed over next
to the the toilet block thatthere was this massive, hugely
impressive are the the Americanswould call it it was like one of
(13:04):
those super duper buses thatlooked like it's the kind of a
Greyhound bus, if you will. Thatwas enormous. Anyway, we went
off to Cape lovey and then cameback two weeks later, and this
past was still parked up besidethe toilet block. And I took a
(13:24):
bit of an interest in this andthis you know, being a bit of a
gauge what's going on, you know,he had a more impressive rate
than I did, certainly much less.
So anyway, I got I got talkingto the guy and he showed me what
was going on in this in thisboss and he literally had
everything that opens and shutsso they had a spa bath they had
a full size series they had likea solar the you know, a bigger
(13:50):
solar system and way biggersolar system the average house
would have had washing machinesdryers, they could park up
there, Suzuki Jiminy in the backof this thing. I'll just record
it literally had everything. AndI was we're including a
desalination plan. So so forthose listeners who don't know
(14:12):
what a desalination plant is,basically you can pump up and he
could pump up 20 verticalmeters. So you basically, you
know, drive up to a cliff, throwyour your pipe into the seawater
that's below, pump it up,filters it and then turn
seawater into fresh water.
Jeremy Melder (14:30):
Oh my god.
Stephen Armytage (14:33):
And this is all solar powered, right? And so
pretty much this guy in his RVcould be anywhere in Australia.
And I thought it was reallyironic that over a period of a
month, he was parked up againsta toilet block in a caravan park
and that really felt strange tome. Anyway, the the conversation
(14:54):
kind of deepened and one daywe'd been to the beach in the
morning and I came back forshower just to wash the salt off
and there realize this guy,again. He's probably in his late
60s, maybe early 70s. He thentold me that he'd asked how old
I was. And I was mid 40s At thatpoint, and, and I was going on
this adventure with my kidstrying to work out who I wanted
(15:16):
to be and what was going on, Iwas completely, you know, I was
a bit gag, you know, the bigdecisions, and the day was, what
are they gonna have, what we'regoing to eat, where we were
going to be and what we weregoing to do for the day? And
where are we going to be hereagain, tomorrow, we'll be going
somewhere else, these were thebig questions in my life. And
that was a great relief. Soanyway, this guy opens up to me
(15:38):
in the incredible way that beingon the road can. And he shared
with me that he had incrediblebusiness and financial success.
But in fact, he'd kind ofdestroyed his life. And he said
to me, in a really heartfeltway, to wish I had the courage
(16:02):
to step out of my life when Iwas mid 40. Because I could have
potentially salvaged my, myrelationship with my wife could
have salvage the relationshipwith my two girls. And having a
$2 million RV boss, and a coupleof houses a house in Pied Piper
(16:27):
and, and overlooking the harbordoesn't kind of make up for that
loss that he was feeling. And hefelt that his life was basically
done. And he went on to sharewith him me that his second
wife, was the reason why theywere parked up against this. You
(16:50):
know, in essence, toilet blockin a caravan park, because she
hated traveling. So he painted apicture of real regret. And, and
I just thought, wow, you know,this is a guy who, in many
aspects has got everything thethings that people are striving
(17:12):
for. And actually, he hadnothing. He told me, his his
girls were estranged, theywouldn't talk to him anymore.
They just thought he was abastard, he used stronger
language to describe that. And Ithought, my God, I mean, this is
just an incredible opportunitythat I'm being presented with.
And, you know, he talked about amoment where I think a parent
(17:38):
had died, where he had thismoment where he could have
changed his life in his 40s. Andrather than doing that he just
doubled down and and investedhimself in his career. And, you
know, as a company, Director offour or five organizations, the
guy was worth, you know,millions of dollars, clearly,
(18:01):
back in those days, a $2 millioncamper van was, you know, it was
something that something didsomething to behold. Right.
Yeah. I mean, you know, spending$2 million on a house was kind
of almost impossible to dounless you were buying kind of
in the harbor in Sydney. Yeah.
So he clearly had, he clearlychecked all the boxes around,
you know, wealth and reward andjob and all that kind of stuff.
(18:25):
But he was miserable.
Jeremy Melder (18:29):
What a great reminder for you, though, isn't
it? Like you listening to thatstory? It makes my heart sink
for that, man? Becauseobviously, he's gone through?
quite a challenging time. Andhe's reflecting on that,
hopefully, this this moment thatyou shared, maybe he also took
(18:57):
something out of thatdiscussion, you know, and maybe
he do you feel like he had any,any inkling of changing his life
at that point or not?
Stephen Armytage (19:08):
Any upside?
Yeah. I don't know. Why, I guesswhat it did was, it just
reinforced to me, that that thecourage that I needed to take to
step away from my career thenand to invest in understanding
what was right for me, it justreinforced the importance of
(19:29):
that. And it's reallyinteresting as part of this trip
around Australia, I had a numberof situations, they kind of
presented themselves that weresaying, Hey, dude, don't waste
this opportunity and becourageous. And I think that's
an incredible it's an incrediblehit. He was an incredible
metaphor for me. In fact, he'sone of the cornerstones for why
(19:52):
I created Liverpool because Idon't I don't want to say see
people getting to the, you know,getting close to the end of
their lives, how many?
Jeremy Melder (20:05):
How many are there, right? It's not just this
one person that's isolated, it'snot an isolated incident,
there's hundreds of 1000s ofpeople around the world that
think that work is the waythrough and having, you know,
financial success is the waythrough, that'll make you happy.
You know, lots of us, includingmyself, you know, thought that
(20:26):
was going to be a solution, butit's not, it does, you know,
have an impact on your family,and those around you. So it's
kind of a great time to reflecton that. Yeah, for me, for all
of us. But I think, you know,like, that time, if I remember
correctly, was around the sametime you that your father had
(20:47):
also died recently. And thatalso had some challenges. So
this man had an opportunity, youknow, when his father had died
to maybe change his careerdirection or his choices, but
you've, you've made some choicesthere. And you could have gone
down that path that thisgentleman had gone down.
Stephen Armytage (21:09):
To be fair, though. What what happened, my
dad passed away, my mum gotsick, my my wife's father got
really sick and got bumped intodementia. So there was a lot
going on in those days. And Iwould have probably continued on
the merry path that I was onthat. But it was like, there was
(21:32):
something inside me that wasjust awakening. And it was just
saying, This isn't right. Andyou need to do something about
that. I had a strong sense aboutthat. And I also had some, some
strong indicators that, that ifI continued on that path that I
was kind of playing Russianroulette with, with all the
things that were important tome, that life has a really
(21:55):
tremendous way of throwing upwhat I call significant moments
of transition. It's anothertremendous acronym. So I've got
lateral, and smarts, significantmoments of transition. And I
think that life does present usthese significant moments of
transition. And that which,which provide us with
opportunities to kind of bump upto make a change. It's kind of
(22:17):
like, well, you know, thisbecause you you went overseas
after you finished high school.
And lots of people do that, youknow, they finish high school, I
finished university, and they gooverseas to find themselves. And
our class that is a significantmoment of opportunity,
significant moment oftransition. And when you go
(22:37):
overseas, you know, thisyourself, you can kind of
present to the world who you'dlike to be, absolutely, rather
than all the things that kind ofyou were tainted with going
through slack,
Jeremy Melder (22:51):
Facebook. You bet it's, it's real,
Stephen Armytage (22:56):
it's real. And through these moments, you can,
you know, people come back, andit's like, they reengineer their
lives, they re engineer the waythey see themselves, because
what they put out into the worldis what gets reflected back to
them. And for most people. Theseoverseas adventures allow them
(23:17):
to come back in a differentvibration in a new way, they see
themselves in a new way. Andoften there's a step change in
their life, they might changedirection in career, they might
settle down and start cleaningtheir cleaning their bedrooms
and not relying on their motherto do washing for them. They
might learn how to cook. Orthey're, you know, they might
(23:38):
start a significant relationshipor change a significant
relationship. There's a bunch ofstuff that goes on with these
significant moments oftransition. And certainly death
of a loved one that you're closeto. They present tremendous
opportunities. For reflection,you kind of it feels like, for
me, I feel like when I gothrough one of these moments,
(23:59):
and I've mapped them, andthere's 60, that I can identify
that normal people like you andme will experience and some of
them will be profound, and someof them will glide through. And
some of them may stop us in ourtracks. And lapo is about people
that have gone through one ofthese moments. And they're
looking for answers. They'restill in that moment where
(24:20):
they're looking for answersabout how things could be better
how things how the pencils couldbe sharpened, or which colored
pencil they should be focusingnow on their life. And making
those purposeful changes ratherthan just being rather than just
kind of going down the river oflife with a set of Gold Coast
(24:43):
posts that may not actually suitthem, like for instance, old
mate in broom. I think what hewas looking for was financial
security. And that's a greatthing to have because it forms
the basis for a life of Notworrying about where the next
meal is coming from. The thingis that getting to a place of
(25:07):
financial security is like agraduated, sit gradient for for
us. And for, you know, peoplethat are in, you know, Thailand
that might be 10,000 US dollarsa year or $5,000 us a year. But
(25:27):
in America, it might be four anda half million US dollars a
year. And you have to the thingthat that may vary here is that,
once you've got to that place offinancial security doesn't have
a material effect on your degreeof happiness. And in the pursuit
of continuing to go down thatpath. Are you actually getting
closer to that place, place ofjoy and thriving that that place
(25:50):
of living a rich and purposefullife? Or in fact, through this
process? Are you going furtheraway from it?
Jeremy Melder (25:56):
I mean, I'd look at it as collateral damage,
what's the collateral damage forthis goal of financial success
that you're going through? Solike you've, you know, with with
you value your kids, and youwent around Australia, and you
wanted to build a deep andmeaningful relationship with
your kids? And I guess I've gota question here, right, by doing
that, was that worthwhile? Or doyou think it was worthwhile? I
(26:20):
think I know the answer to that,but in what way
Stephen Armytage (26:27):
you kind of just about made me tear up
couldn't have made a morevaluable investment. Yeah, in
in, in my son and my daughter, Imean, these were fundamental
turning points in their lives.
And it was a fundamental turningpoint in their, in the
(26:51):
relationship with my wife aswell. And, and a fundamental
turning point for me. So yeah,and that's priceless. It's
absolutely priceless. And ourdaughter is now a pediatric
occupational therapist. She'sonly got training wheels on
right now. And I'm incrediblyproud of it. But one of the
(27:11):
motivations for going aroundAustralia was that she's, she's
she's a pretty potent woman. AndI recognize that. For those
people out there who have gotpotent women in their lives, it
can be a bit inconvenient, tosay the least in what
Jeremy Melder (27:37):
way Steven?
Stephen Armytage (27:40):
Well, they tend to at least my one, my one,
my wife is the same. They kindof rock the boat when they don't
see things being completelystraight. And yeah, I guess?
(28:01):
That's a good question. So mydaughter used to get stuck into
me, but she'd also get stuckinto life. So she was, you know,
she had a thirst for life. Andat nine years old, as a dad, I
was twice her size. I've justposted a photograph of him 14
years ago, which is kind ofalmost where where we were, I
(28:21):
could kind of keep her on thestraight and narrow through
authoritarian kind ofrelationship and my size. But
she was on the cusp ofadolescence. And I'd seen lots
of disasters, heard lots ofdisasters about, you know,
pubescent girls just becoming areal handful. And I didn't feel
(28:44):
like I had a relationship thatwas strong enough to kind of
weather that storm. So a bigmotivator for going around
Australia was to, was to investin that relationship with her.
And now in, you know, her herprofessional opinion is that we
didn't do such a bad job,apparently, her professional
opinion, are professional andpersonal. She basically she
(29:09):
used, she uses her textbook andher learnings to kind of full
effect on her on her childhood,and she recognizes that, you
know, Mum and Dad spending 12months teaching them, you know,
geography and history andEnglish and maths and relating
that to their environment on theside of the road, or in a
(29:32):
national park, or in some desertor beach, and relating these
kind of theoretical subjectsinto everyday life. That made a
huge difference to her beingable to kind of relate to her,
her self in her environment. AndI think that's an incredibly
valuable learning, you know, tobe able to turn up and even this
(29:57):
morning, you know, I turned upwithout my computer Go for this
session. And we had a little bitof, you know, we had a little
bit of turmoil because we didn'tknow we'd plan to have this
conversation. And I turned upwithout a piece of important
kit. And just being able to bein the moment, and just be aware
of the tension, I felt like I'dlet you down. I felt like, you
(30:22):
know, I was just about to wasteyour time and, and all that sort
of stuff. And then just to kindof go, Okay, well, that's
interesting, let's just see howthat plays out. And then to move
forward and to respond to thesituation in a functional way
rather than a dysfunctionalline. And I found a couple of
dysfunctional ways of kind ofpresenting the situation turned
up for me. Yeah. And I recognizethat, you know, you didn't blame
(30:46):
me for being a completedickhead, not jumping out with
my computer. And you could have,right, so Well,
Jeremy Melder (30:52):
I didn't ask you to bring your computer. So that
was an assumption on my part. Soanyway, that's it to two pronged
attack there, we could haveexplained just communicating.
Stephen Armytage (31:02):
And I think by being in touch with being in
connection with place and ouremotions, and then choosing to
respond to the circumstance isan incredibly valuable skill.
And I guess, you know, Alyssasays that going around
Australia, and being with momand dad, 24/7, for a year, had
(31:27):
its ups and its downs, but someof the UPS allowed her to just
to be with herself, and torespond to what was going on in
your environment. And thatallows her to build capacity at
an incredibly young age.
Jeremy Melder (31:42):
Absolutely. And don't forget you, you both
qualified teachers as well anddid a great job teaching them.
Stephen Armytage (31:52):
That's true.
That's true, we are bothteachers, so bad, bad. I mean,
for those, for those people outhere who are inspired to go
around Australia, in their 40s,with kids that are under 10, I
would say do it. If you've gotthe resources to do it, do it.
And you can feel the urge toscratch that itch. And, you
know, this is a plug forQueensland and Victoria and
(32:14):
education systems, they willprovide you with all the
materials that you need toprovide your kids with a
learning experience. And ourkids came back in front of their
peers really at the end of the12 month periods. And we took
them out. So they did the firsttwo terms, we took them out for
term three, and they came backat term three. So you know,
(32:37):
we're not even talking about aclean calendar year kind of went
over two years. And the kidsjust and they went into a
completely new foreignenvironment, we put them into
school in New South Walescountry, New South Wales, which
was very different from their,from their teacher from their
learning experience when theywere in, in Canberra. So you
know, these kids are adaptable,and teaching them to be
(33:02):
adaptable, teaching them to beresourceful, teaching them how
to be resilient, these aremassive skills for for life and
saying mom and dad, not reallyknowing what the plan was. I
mean, you know, a trip aroundAustralia is kind of futile,
right? Because your enddestination is where you start?
(33:24):
Yeah. So it's kinda like, what,and it's all about the journey.
And it's, and the interestingthing is that when we got to the
end of the journey, Ourdestination was somewhere
different.
Jeremy Melder (33:39):
It's like, what, northern New South Wales
Stephen Armytage (33:43):
and EU and, and we were strongly called to
this part of the world. But, youknow, what was clear about this
part of the world was that mycareer because you know, working
remotely, and all that kind ofstuff wasn't as, as prevalent as
it was, as it is today. Therewere that it came with the
responsibility of a reinvention.
But the beautiful thing was thatthe reinvention was kind of on
(34:05):
our terms, not on not on theother terms, not on the the
terms that were kind of definedby anybody else. And I think
that's what levels about lawpool is about providing people
with a way to respond uniquelyto their circumstances, and to
their dreams, and then to startmaking meaningful progress from
(34:25):
current reality to dream. Thatsounds pretty good.
Jeremy Melder (34:30):
Sounds great.
Now, Steven, we're just aboutrunning out of time in our
segment that we're going to dojust the introduction to Laffel
or your background as to whereyou how you started this, which
we're going to go into whathappened in the 15 year period
next in the next episode, butyou're offering a unique
opportunity for people in Mayand of May to join the retreat
(34:54):
at gamea eco retreat. Is it the31st Mind, do you want to put in
a bit of a plug for that so thatpeople can go to your website
now? And, and register theirinterest and or even come?
Stephen Armytage (35:10):
Wow. Well, thanks. Yeah, that sounds great.
So I've got a bit of an issuewith the whole kind of marketing
thing, because I don't wantanybody there, I don't want to
get anybody there by any, youknow,
Jeremy Melder (35:25):
no spin,
Stephen Armytage (35:26):
no spin. So, I haven't actually done any
marketing from this, I've justreached out to a bunch of people
via email. I've got 24 places,it starts on Wednesday, the
31st. of May, and it goes toJune, the fourth Sunday, June
the fourth. And for yourviewers, this sounds like a
(35:49):
marketing grab. There's an earlybird pricing so so what I'm
offering is, it's probably afour and a half $1,000 value,
and I'll offer your guests theearlybird rate, which is
something less than than $2,000.
I don't know, I wasn't kind ofprepared for this offer. But
(36:10):
there's,
Jeremy Melder (36:12):
we'll be putting that on the website, on the
beaming green website, and alsoin Facebook marketing, for him,
not that we're into marketingtoo much, but you will find out
about it somehow.
Stephen Armytage (36:23):
So So basically, it's an all
inclusive, immersive experienceat a time here retreat, which is
an eco retreat up here innorthern New South Wales, and
you will be fed, delicious,organic food. And there'll be
plenty of it for those guys thatthink you need to have a good
(36:47):
plate of meat to be satisfied.
It's not just vegetarian. So itis vegetarian. It's a vegetarian
organic, food prepared by justone of the most amazing chefs.
It's four nights accommodation,and you've got a twin share
option, or you've got a room onyour own option. Day Spa
massage, sound therapy, and abunch of other really cool stuff
(37:15):
immersed in in northern NewSouth Wales plus just an
incredible, rich program. So foryour for your listeners, I would
love to offer that at at theearlybird rate, which is
literally half of what thecommercial rate will be. And
this is my first group retreat.
So in some respects, you know,we're going to be doing some,
(37:37):
some refining and some honing ofthat. And if people enjoy what
they love, I would love them toprovide me with some
testimonials. I've run peoplethrough the course before. In
fact me in fact, you Yep. Whichyou will you can talk about
that. But I really feel likethis is my gift to the world.
(38:01):
And I'd love to find a way toprovide it both in a face to
face but also in a morecontemporary kind of way to do
that as well. So yeah, so 31stof May to the fourth of June, up
here in northern New SouthWales, there are still 16 places
that are available, right, yes,16 places that are available.
(38:24):
And we're just about to startmarketing process. So
Jeremy Melder (38:27):
fantastic. So for the listeners, I have done the
pilot version of this retreatwith Steven, today, I can't give
you a 32nd grab here becausethere's a lot more detail than
this. But Stephen will, you knowhe's put a lot of energy into to
producing this program. As hesaid his it is the first one
(38:50):
that he's putting out, and he'sgiving us a really great price
for our listeners to attend. Andhave a look on the website la
apple.com.
Stephen Armytage (39:01):
That's L A. P now.com.
Jeremy Melder (39:05):
Great, and there's there's going to be a
lot of information as to whatSteven is doing. And we are
going to continue thisconversation because I think
it's important that we get a bitmore background as to where
Steven, why Stephen has donethis. And hopefully you're
enjoying this conversation andwe'll speak to you next
(39:31):
time. Thanks for tuning intobeaming green. Don't forget to
check out our YouTubechannel@green.com And leave us a
review on your preferred podcastor subscribe to us on YouTube.
And a special thanks to Dave andto Roman Senate on Pixabay for
(39:53):
producing some amazing music.
Keep living green and we'll seeyou next time. Bye Hi
Hello, my name is Jeremy melder, and I'm the
(00:02):
presenter from beaming green.
Before we start, I would like toacknowledge that this podcast is
being held on the traditionallands of the Bundjalung people
and paying our respects toelders both past, present and
emerging. Welcome to Season Twoof beaming grain. Now available
on YouTube or your favoritepodcast platform. We offer a
(00:27):
array of inspiring guestsspeaking about their life
experiences, on topics includingsustainable living,
environmental issues, and humansustainability. So whether
you're a seasoned eco warrior,or just starting your
sustainability journey, beamingGreen has something for
(00:48):
everyone. So join us for seasontwo, and let been some Greenham
together.
So Steven, welcome to beaminggreen. Now, it's been so long
(01:12):
that I've done an episode. I'mfeeling a little bit raw here.
And to say that we're now infront of a camera is another
challenge. But I'm glad to bewith my good buddy. And doing
this live with you on camera. Sowelcome.
Stephen Armytage (01:30):
Thanks, Jeremy. Yeah, it's a pleasure to
be here. And I guess I'm feelingslightly uncomfortable with
things in my ears, a bigmicrophone in front of me and a
camera. So thanks for theopportunity.
Jeremy Melder (01:45):
It's great. Look, I know you've been plotting and
scheming over the last fewyears, and you've come up with
this you beaut program thatyou're going to be launching
very, very soon. Do you want totell us a little bit about it?
Stephen Armytage (02:01):
Yet? Sure.
Well, thanks. It's, it's calledLiving a rich and purposeful
life. And it's a four nightretreat. Five days, if you will.
And it's all about assistingpeople to live what the name
says. So assisting people to, tolive a rich and purposeful life,
which for me, is a thrivinglife. And for those people that
(02:22):
are out there that I guessaren't feeling like they're
thriving, they've maybe thrivedat a moment in their life. But
they're feeling a little offcolor, a little louder,
vibration, a little disconnectedand asking questions like, Is
this all life's about? You know,I kind of thought life was gonna
end up a bit different fromthis, do I need to settle with
(02:43):
this, don't settle with this jobor this relationship, or this
term time in my life. And, and Iguess for those people that are
feeling that, firstly, I feel Ifeel your pain, because I've
been through that. And, and I doactually feel like there's
there's some great options onoffer. And I've spent, I guess,
the last 15 years cracking, whatI believe is a universal
(03:08):
approach to, to doing that. Andthat's what I'm offering over a
four night five day experiencecalled Living a rich and
purposeful life or lapo, forshort, larval
Jeremy Melder (03:21):
Yes, look, do you think, you know, we've just
overcome COVID Or we believewe've come overcome COVID. And I
think a lot of people werereflecting during that period of
time as to their life, theirlife purpose and so on. Do you
believe this is something anopportunity for someone to come
(03:43):
on a course like this, toreflect and learn and and move
forward with that?
Stephen Armytage (03:50):
Absolutely.
And I think, you know, Apple,should I say COVID has presented
two opportunities. One is for,for, for a deep sense of
reflection. And I think for lotsof people COVID brought lots of
gifts. And if you have feltpropelled from COVID, to change
your life and to make it betterthan all good to you. For those
(04:12):
people who are kind of sittingmore in a lower vibration from
from law school, they've they'vekind of had time to reflect on
their life. And they don'treally love everything that they
see, there are aspects in theirlife that they want to change,
and they perhaps not clear abouthow they might do that, then I
(04:35):
think that that label is atremendous opportunity for those
people to move into a to a newphase of their life to to take a
purposeful step towards the kindof life they'd like to live and
that's what larval is all about.
Jeremy Melder (04:53):
So I've witnessed your your evolution, so to speak
of where you want it to be, andso on. And do you for our
listeners? Would you like togive a little bit of a snippet
of how this all started and cameabout for you? 15 years ago?
Stephen Armytage (05:08):
Yeah. So, so I had. So I've always enjoyed a
pretty good life. I suspect likemost of your listeners, you
know, there's been some highpoints and some low points and,
and I hit a really big lowpoint, 14 years ago. I was, was
(05:30):
married and still married at thesame woman. Good, I'm proud to
say two gorgeous kids who arenow you know, thriving adults, a
tremendous career and things aregoing really well, in my kind of
out out my outward facing world,my social media world was
(05:50):
looking good with I'm not a bigsocial media player. It was an
enviable lifestyle, but therewas something that was kind of
wrong in what was going on, Ifelt that I felt that tickle of
something's not quite right. Andwhen I I had and a big network
of people, and when I kind ofwas having the searching
(06:13):
conversations with those people,nobody seemed to be able to
provide me with, with answers,the answers I was looking for,
in fact, even able to kind of,you know, helped me to find the
path. So I went on more than ametaphorical kind of journey to
kind of find out what was whatwas going on. And then
eventuated in a trip aroundAustralia, with my wife, and my
(06:33):
kids, and I parked my, my, myprofessional career, which I'd
striven for 20 years to kind ofbuild to the top. And I guess on
the way around Australia, I wassitting on a beach in Cape of
eek which is northern WesternAustralia, about broom. And it
just dawned on me, the bit thatwas missing the bit of my life
(06:56):
that I guess that the awarenessthat was missing for me that I
needed to kind of finish thejigsaw puzzle, so that I could
step into the next phase of mylife. And that, for me, really
was a i, we completelyreinvented our life, I guess.
(07:19):
And it doesn't need to be thatdramatic. But it was dramatic
for me. And it involves me notgoing back to the partnership
that I was in, it involved usmoving into state. So yeah, so
we did a tree change, and that,and now we're talking about tree
changes, I guess, 14 years ago,and there was lots of examples
(07:42):
of tree changes that have soldup and actually found they were
moving into a lifestyle thatdidn't suit them at all. We
found that, you know, takingthat whole transformative kind
of period, it took me six monthsto work out what was missing.
And then it took me maybe 14years to put all the pieces
(08:05):
together to get back on track.
And we invented and reinventedourselves. And we now have, you
know, a lifestyle that feelslike it's very congruent and in
alignment with our value set.
Not to say that it wasn't likethat previously, because it was
I guess we've just, I, we havejust stepped up to the next
(08:26):
level and, and the lifestylechecked all of the boxes, that
that, that were really importantfor us, starting with connection
to who we truly are, who I trulyam. The relationship I want with
my my life partner, therelationship that I wanted to
build with my kids, probably themost important relationships
(08:49):
after my relationship withSonia. And then how I turned up
in the rest of my relationshipswith my family, my community, my
relationship with place wasreally important. And then how
do I get alignment all the waythrough my life from there. And
it's been a process of doingthat. And, and I feel like, you
(09:11):
know, we're really, I'm reallyin a place of thriving now. And
in a place of giving back. It'snot to say that my life's
perfect every day. You know,yesterday, I woke up tired and
kind of drag my ass around forthe whole day kind of licking my
wounds and feeling a bit sorryfor myself. So, you know, it's
not a Nirvana that I'm in, but Icertainly feel like over the
(09:34):
last 14 years, my life has gonefrom really good to even better
than really good.
Jeremy Melder (09:41):
Yeah. Yeah. So it's kind of like you're
sharpening your pencil, youknow, because we've all got,
we've all got, you know, a goalthat we're trying to achieve,
but it's kind of like we'retrying to find where we fit in,
in this jigsaw puzzle of life,you know, and what our core
values are, you know, because wethink We know what our core
(10:01):
values are. But we kind of,well, I think I find different
bits or aspects of myself that Ididn't know about very well. And
the further I go into that,that, that is sharpening my
pencil a little bit more to so.
So that's really what I want.
This is what I want to get outof this is my understanding gets
(10:22):
deeper in that aspect of mylife. So I guess that's what
you're going through in that 15year phase? Well, most of our
lives, we're going through thisnot just 15 years, because
you're a little bit older than15. But you know, so So I guess
we're all, you know, being madeaware of some of our, you know,
(10:43):
vulnerabilities.
Stephen Armytage (10:45):
Absolutely.
And I love your analogy, thesharpening the pencil thing is a
great analogy. And, you know,for me, I'm pretty pragmatic
kind of a guy. And I realize youcan actually over sharpen your
pencil as well, if you make itto fine, the end snaps off. And
I think that's kind of whathappened to those tree changes I
was talking about, they kind ofgoing, geez, I'm really
dissatisfied with my life rightnow. And they kind of, it's like
(11:06):
throwing the baby out with thebathwater, you know, they go for
a big jump, because they'redissatisfied with what's
currently going on. And ratherthan kind of going through a
process of refinement, they'vegone for a place of, you know,
step change. And if you don'thave the basis for that step
change, you can step intosomething that's not something
you want to be where you want tobe. So think that process of
(11:28):
sharpening the pencil and honingthe pencil. And in fact, for me,
it's about working out that thepencils not just one color, it's
actually 12 colors in my pencil,and the importance of making
sure that I've got balanced andeach of those 12 colors. That's
been really key for me.
Jeremy Melder (11:48):
Excellent. So Steven, you were sharing, we
were camping a few weeks ago,and you were sharing with us
around or we didn't have acampfire, but we're sitting
around a circle havingbreakfast. And you're sharing
one of the stories which I thinkis useful for our listeners
about this gentleman that had aquite a substantial rig and the
(12:11):
status of his life, if youwouldn't mind sharing that
because I think that's kind ofpertinent to this conversation.
Stephen Armytage (12:19):
Yeah, well, thanks. I think I just made
everybody coffee on my, on myguest via coffee machine. Henry.
Yeah. So good burrito. So, yeah,so we we ended up this as part
of this journey, we ended up inBerlin, as lots of people do
going around Australia. And wewere just at the end of the the
(12:40):
dry season. So perfectconditions. And we stopped in a
caravan park. And on the way tokeep the week we were I had my
you know, my big awarenessmoment. And I noticed over next
to the the toilet block thatthere was this massive, hugely
impressive are the the Americanswould call it it was like one of
(13:04):
those super duper buses thatlooked like it's the kind of a
Greyhound bus, if you will. Thatwas enormous. Anyway, we went
off to Cape lovey and then cameback two weeks later, and this
past was still parked up besidethe toilet block. And I took a
(13:24):
bit of an interest in this andthis you know, being a bit of a
gauge what's going on, you know,he had a more impressive rate
than I did, certainly much less.
So anyway, I got I got talkingto the guy and he showed me what
was going on in this in thisboss and he literally had
everything that opens and shutsso they had a spa bath they had
a full size series they had likea solar the you know, a bigger
(13:50):
solar system and way biggersolar system the average house
would have had washing machinesdryers, they could park up
there, Suzuki Jiminy in the backof this thing. I'll just record
it literally had everything. AndI was we're including a
desalination plan. So so forthose listeners who don't know
(14:12):
what a desalination plant is,basically you can pump up and he
could pump up 20 verticalmeters. So you basically, you
know, drive up to a cliff, throwyour your pipe into the seawater
that's below, pump it up,filters it and then turn
seawater into fresh water.
Jeremy Melder (14:30):
Oh my god.
Stephen Armytage (14:33):
And this is all solar powered, right? And so
pretty much this guy in his RVcould be anywhere in Australia.
And I thought it was reallyironic that over a period of a
month, he was parked up againsta toilet block in a caravan park
and that really felt strange tome. Anyway, the the conversation
(14:54):
kind of deepened and one daywe'd been to the beach in the
morning and I came back forshower just to wash the salt off
and there realize this guy,again. He's probably in his late
60s, maybe early 70s. He thentold me that he'd asked how old
I was. And I was mid 40s At thatpoint, and, and I was going on
this adventure with my kidstrying to work out who I wanted
(15:16):
to be and what was going on, Iwas completely, you know, I was
a bit gag, you know, the bigdecisions, and the day was, what
are they gonna have, what we'regoing to eat, where we were
going to be and what we weregoing to do for the day? And
where are we going to be hereagain, tomorrow, we'll be going
somewhere else, these were thebig questions in my life. And
that was a great relief. Soanyway, this guy opens up to me
(15:38):
in the incredible way that beingon the road can. And he shared
with me that he had incrediblebusiness and financial success.
But in fact, he'd kind ofdestroyed his life. And he said
to me, in a really heartfeltway, to wish I had the courage
(16:02):
to step out of my life when Iwas mid 40. Because I could have
potentially salvaged my, myrelationship with my wife could
have salvage the relationshipwith my two girls. And having a
$2 million RV boss, and a coupleof houses a house in Pied Piper
(16:27):
and, and overlooking the harbordoesn't kind of make up for that
loss that he was feeling. And hefelt that his life was basically
done. And he went on to sharewith him me that his second
wife, was the reason why theywere parked up against this. You
(16:50):
know, in essence, toilet blockin a caravan park, because she
hated traveling. So he painted apicture of real regret. And, and
I just thought, wow, you know,this is a guy who, in many
aspects has got everything thethings that people are striving
(17:12):
for. And actually, he hadnothing. He told me, his his
girls were estranged, theywouldn't talk to him anymore.
They just thought he was abastard, he used stronger
language to describe that. And Ithought, my God, I mean, this is
just an incredible opportunitythat I'm being presented with.
And, you know, he talked about amoment where I think a parent
(17:38):
had died, where he had thismoment where he could have
changed his life in his 40s. Andrather than doing that he just
doubled down and and investedhimself in his career. And, you
know, as a company, Director offour or five organizations, the
guy was worth, you know,millions of dollars, clearly,
(18:01):
back in those days, a $2 millioncamper van was, you know, it was
something that something didsomething to behold. Right.
Yeah. I mean, you know, spending$2 million on a house was kind
of almost impossible to dounless you were buying kind of
in the harbor in Sydney. Yeah.
So he clearly had, he clearlychecked all the boxes around,
you know, wealth and reward andjob and all that kind of stuff.
(18:25):
But he was miserable.
Jeremy Melder (18:29):
What a great reminder for you, though, isn't
it? Like you listening to thatstory? It makes my heart sink
for that, man? Becauseobviously, he's gone through?
quite a challenging time. Andhe's reflecting on that,
hopefully, this this moment thatyou shared, maybe he also took
(18:57):
something out of thatdiscussion, you know, and maybe
he do you feel like he had any,any inkling of changing his life
at that point or not?
Stephen Armytage (19:08):
Any upside?
Yeah. I don't know. Why, I guesswhat it did was, it just
reinforced to me, that that thecourage that I needed to take to
step away from my career thenand to invest in understanding
what was right for me, it justreinforced the importance of
(19:29):
that. And it's reallyinteresting as part of this trip
around Australia, I had a numberof situations, they kind of
presented themselves that weresaying, Hey, dude, don't waste
this opportunity and becourageous. And I think that's
an incredible it's an incrediblehit. He was an incredible
metaphor for me. In fact, he'sone of the cornerstones for why
(19:52):
I created Liverpool because Idon't I don't want to say see
people getting to the, you know,getting close to the end of
their lives, how many?
Jeremy Melder (20:05):
How many are there, right? It's not just this
one person that's isolated, it'snot an isolated incident,
there's hundreds of 1000s ofpeople around the world that
think that work is the waythrough and having, you know,
financial success is the waythrough, that'll make you happy.
You know, lots of us, includingmyself, you know, thought that
(20:26):
was going to be a solution, butit's not, it does, you know,
have an impact on your family,and those around you. So it's
kind of a great time to reflecton that. Yeah, for me, for all
of us. But I think, you know,like, that time, if I remember
correctly, was around the sametime you that your father had
(20:47):
also died recently. And thatalso had some challenges. So
this man had an opportunity, youknow, when his father had died
to maybe change his careerdirection or his choices, but
you've, you've made some choicesthere. And you could have gone
down that path that thisgentleman had gone down.
Stephen Armytage (21:09):
To be fair, though. What what happened, my
dad passed away, my mum gotsick, my my wife's father got
really sick and got bumped intodementia. So there was a lot
going on in those days. And Iwould have probably continued on
the merry path that I was onthat. But it was like, there was
(21:32):
something inside me that wasjust awakening. And it was just
saying, This isn't right. Andyou need to do something about
that. I had a strong sense aboutthat. And I also had some, some
strong indicators that, that ifI continued on that path that I
was kind of playing Russianroulette with, with all the
things that were important tome, that life has a really
(21:55):
tremendous way of throwing upwhat I call significant moments
of transition. It's anothertremendous acronym. So I've got
lateral, and smarts, significantmoments of transition. And I
think that life does present usthese significant moments of
transition. And that which,which provide us with
opportunities to kind of bump upto make a change. It's kind of
(22:17):
like, well, you know, thisbecause you you went overseas
after you finished high school.
And lots of people do that, youknow, they finish high school, I
finished university, and they gooverseas to find themselves. And
our class that is a significantmoment of opportunity,
significant moment oftransition. And when you go
(22:37):
overseas, you know, thisyourself, you can kind of
present to the world who you'dlike to be, absolutely, rather
than all the things that kind ofyou were tainted with going
through slack,
Jeremy Melder (22:51):
Facebook. You bet it's, it's real,
Stephen Armytage (22:56):
it's real. And through these moments, you can,
you know, people come back, andit's like, they reengineer their
lives, they re engineer the waythey see themselves, because
what they put out into the worldis what gets reflected back to
them. And for most people. Theseoverseas adventures allow them
(23:17):
to come back in a differentvibration in a new way, they see
themselves in a new way. Andoften there's a step change in
their life, they might changedirection in career, they might
settle down and start cleaningtheir cleaning their bedrooms
and not relying on their motherto do washing for them. They
might learn how to cook. Orthey're, you know, they might
(23:38):
start a significant relationshipor change a significant
relationship. There's a bunch ofstuff that goes on with these
significant moments oftransition. And certainly death
of a loved one that you're closeto. They present tremendous
opportunities. For reflection,you kind of it feels like, for
me, I feel like when I gothrough one of these moments,
(23:59):
and I've mapped them, andthere's 60, that I can identify
that normal people like you andme will experience and some of
them will be profound, and someof them will glide through. And
some of them may stop us in ourtracks. And lapo is about people
that have gone through one ofthese moments. And they're
looking for answers. They'restill in that moment where
(24:20):
they're looking for answersabout how things could be better
how things how the pencils couldbe sharpened, or which colored
pencil they should be focusingnow on their life. And making
those purposeful changes ratherthan just being rather than just
kind of going down the river oflife with a set of Gold Coast
(24:43):
posts that may not actually suitthem, like for instance, old
mate in broom. I think what hewas looking for was financial
security. And that's a greatthing to have because it forms
the basis for a life of Notworrying about where the next
meal is coming from. The thingis that getting to a place of
(25:07):
financial security is like agraduated, sit gradient for for
us. And for, you know, peoplethat are in, you know, Thailand
that might be 10,000 US dollarsa year or $5,000 us a year. But
(25:27):
in America, it might be four anda half million US dollars a
year. And you have to the thingthat that may vary here is that,
once you've got to that place offinancial security doesn't have
a material effect on your degreeof happiness. And in the pursuit
of continuing to go down thatpath. Are you actually getting
closer to that place, place ofjoy and thriving that that place
(25:50):
of living a rich and purposefullife? Or in fact, through this
process? Are you going furtheraway from it?
Jeremy Melder (25:56):
I mean, I'd look at it as collateral damage,
what's the collateral damage forthis goal of financial success
that you're going through? Solike you've, you know, with with
you value your kids, and youwent around Australia, and you
wanted to build a deep andmeaningful relationship with
your kids? And I guess I've gota question here, right, by doing
that, was that worthwhile? Or doyou think it was worthwhile? I
(26:20):
think I know the answer to that,but in what way
Stephen Armytage (26:27):
you kind of just about made me tear up
couldn't have made a morevaluable investment. Yeah, in
in, in my son and my daughter, Imean, these were fundamental
turning points in their lives.
And it was a fundamental turningpoint in their, in the
(26:51):
relationship with my wife aswell. And, and a fundamental
turning point for me. So yeah,and that's priceless. It's
absolutely priceless. And ourdaughter is now a pediatric
occupational therapist. She'sonly got training wheels on
right now. And I'm incrediblyproud of it. But one of the
(27:11):
motivations for going aroundAustralia was that she's, she's
she's a pretty potent woman. AndI recognize that. For those
people out there who have gotpotent women in their lives, it
can be a bit inconvenient, tosay the least in what
Jeremy Melder (27:37):
way Steven?
Stephen Armytage (27:40):
Well, they tend to at least my one, my one,
my wife is the same. They kindof rock the boat when they don't
see things being completelystraight. And yeah, I guess?
(28:01):
That's a good question. So mydaughter used to get stuck into
me, but she'd also get stuckinto life. So she was, you know,
she had a thirst for life. Andat nine years old, as a dad, I
was twice her size. I've justposted a photograph of him 14
years ago, which is kind ofalmost where where we were, I
(28:21):
could kind of keep her on thestraight and narrow through
authoritarian kind ofrelationship and my size. But
she was on the cusp ofadolescence. And I'd seen lots
of disasters, heard lots ofdisasters about, you know,
pubescent girls just becoming areal handful. And I didn't feel
(28:44):
like I had a relationship thatwas strong enough to kind of
weather that storm. So a bigmotivator for going around
Australia was to, was to investin that relationship with her.
And now in, you know, her herprofessional opinion is that we
didn't do such a bad job,apparently, her professional
opinion, are professional andpersonal. She basically she
(29:09):
used, she uses her textbook andher learnings to kind of full
effect on her on her childhood,and she recognizes that, you
know, Mum and Dad spending 12months teaching them, you know,
geography and history andEnglish and maths and relating
that to their environment on theside of the road, or in a
(29:32):
national park, or in some desertor beach, and relating these
kind of theoretical subjectsinto everyday life. That made a
huge difference to her beingable to kind of relate to her,
her self in her environment. AndI think that's an incredibly
valuable learning, you know, tobe able to turn up and even this
(29:57):
morning, you know, I turned upwithout my computer Go for this
session. And we had a little bitof, you know, we had a little
bit of turmoil because we didn'tknow we'd plan to have this
conversation. And I turned upwithout a piece of important
kit. And just being able to bein the moment, and just be aware
of the tension, I felt like I'dlet you down. I felt like, you
(30:22):
know, I was just about to wasteyour time and, and all that sort
of stuff. And then just to kindof go, Okay, well, that's
interesting, let's just see howthat plays out. And then to move
forward and to respond to thesituation in a functional way
rather than a dysfunctionalline. And I found a couple of
dysfunctional ways of kind ofpresenting the situation turned
up for me. Yeah. And I recognizethat, you know, you didn't blame
(30:46):
me for being a completedickhead, not jumping out with
my computer. And you could have,right, so Well,
Jeremy Melder (30:52):
I didn't ask you to bring your computer. So that
was an assumption on my part. Soanyway, that's it to two pronged
attack there, we could haveexplained just communicating.
Stephen Armytage (31:02):
And I think by being in touch with being in
connection with place and ouremotions, and then choosing to
respond to the circumstance isan incredibly valuable skill.
And I guess, you know, Alyssasays that going around
Australia, and being with momand dad, 24/7, for a year, had
(31:27):
its ups and its downs, but someof the UPS allowed her to just
to be with herself, and torespond to what was going on in
your environment. And thatallows her to build capacity at
an incredibly young age.
Jeremy Melder (31:42):
Absolutely. And don't forget you, you both
qualified teachers as well anddid a great job teaching them.
Stephen Armytage (31:52):
That's true.
That's true, we are bothteachers, so bad, bad. I mean,
for those, for those people outhere who are inspired to go
around Australia, in their 40s,with kids that are under 10, I
would say do it. If you've gotthe resources to do it, do it.
And you can feel the urge toscratch that itch. And, you
know, this is a plug forQueensland and Victoria and
(32:14):
education systems, they willprovide you with all the
materials that you need toprovide your kids with a
learning experience. And ourkids came back in front of their
peers really at the end of the12 month periods. And we took
them out. So they did the firsttwo terms, we took them out for
term three, and they came backat term three. So you know,
(32:37):
we're not even talking about aclean calendar year kind of went
over two years. And the kidsjust and they went into a
completely new foreignenvironment, we put them into
school in New South Walescountry, New South Wales, which
was very different from their,from their teacher from their
learning experience when theywere in, in Canberra. So you
know, these kids are adaptable,and teaching them to be
(33:02):
adaptable, teaching them to beresourceful, teaching them how
to be resilient, these aremassive skills for for life and
saying mom and dad, not reallyknowing what the plan was. I
mean, you know, a trip aroundAustralia is kind of futile,
right? Because your enddestination is where you start?
(33:24):
Yeah. So it's kinda like, what,and it's all about the journey.
And it's, and the interestingthing is that when we got to the
end of the journey, Ourdestination was somewhere
different.
Jeremy Melder (33:39):
It's like, what, northern New South Wales
Stephen Armytage (33:43):
and EU and, and we were strongly called to
this part of the world. But, youknow, what was clear about this
part of the world was that mycareer because you know, working
remotely, and all that kind ofstuff wasn't as, as prevalent as
it was, as it is today. Therewere that it came with the
responsibility of a reinvention.
But the beautiful thing was thatthe reinvention was kind of on
(34:05):
our terms, not on not on theother terms, not on the the
terms that were kind of definedby anybody else. And I think
that's what levels about lawpool is about providing people
with a way to respond uniquelyto their circumstances, and to
their dreams, and then to startmaking meaningful progress from
(34:25):
current reality to dream. Thatsounds pretty good.
Jeremy Melder (34:30):
Sounds great.
Now, Steven, we're just aboutrunning out of time in our
segment that we're going to dojust the introduction to Laffel
or your background as to whereyou how you started this, which
we're going to go into whathappened in the 15 year period
next in the next episode, butyou're offering a unique
opportunity for people in Mayand of May to join the retreat
(34:54):
at gamea eco retreat. Is it the31st Mind, do you want to put in
a bit of a plug for that so thatpeople can go to your website
now? And, and register theirinterest and or even come?
Stephen Armytage (35:10):
Wow. Well, thanks. Yeah, that sounds great.
So I've got a bit of an issuewith the whole kind of marketing
thing, because I don't wantanybody there, I don't want to
get anybody there by any, youknow,
Jeremy Melder (35:25):
no spin,
Stephen Armytage (35:26):
no spin. So, I haven't actually done any
marketing from this, I've justreached out to a bunch of people
via email. I've got 24 places,it starts on Wednesday, the
31st. of May, and it goes toJune, the fourth Sunday, June
the fourth. And for yourviewers, this sounds like a
(35:49):
marketing grab. There's an earlybird pricing so so what I'm
offering is, it's probably afour and a half $1,000 value,
and I'll offer your guests theearlybird rate, which is
something less than than $2,000.
I don't know, I wasn't kind ofprepared for this offer. But
(36:10):
there's,
Jeremy Melder (36:12):
we'll be putting that on the website, on the
beaming green website, and alsoin Facebook marketing, for him,
not that we're into marketingtoo much, but you will find out
about it somehow.
Stephen Armytage (36:23):
So So basically, it's an all
inclusive, immersive experienceat a time here retreat, which is
an eco retreat up here innorthern New South Wales, and
you will be fed, delicious,organic food. And there'll be
plenty of it for those guys thatthink you need to have a good
(36:47):
plate of meat to be satisfied.
It's not just vegetarian. So itis vegetarian. It's a vegetarian
organic, food prepared by justone of the most amazing chefs.
It's four nights accommodation,and you've got a twin share
option, or you've got a room onyour own option. Day Spa
massage, sound therapy, and abunch of other really cool stuff
(37:15):
immersed in in northern NewSouth Wales plus just an
incredible, rich program. So foryour for your listeners, I would
love to offer that at at theearlybird rate, which is
literally half of what thecommercial rate will be. And
this is my first group retreat.
So in some respects, you know,we're going to be doing some,
(37:37):
some refining and some honing ofthat. And if people enjoy what
they love, I would love them toprovide me with some
testimonials. I've run peoplethrough the course before. In
fact me in fact, you Yep. Whichyou will you can talk about
that. But I really feel likethis is my gift to the world.
(38:01):
And I'd love to find a way toprovide it both in a face to
face but also in a morecontemporary kind of way to do
that as well. So yeah, so 31stof May to the fourth of June, up
here in northern New SouthWales, there are still 16 places
that are available, right, yes,16 places that are available.
(38:24):
And we're just about to startmarketing process. So
Jeremy Melder (38:27):
fantastic. So for the listeners, I have done the
pilot version of this retreatwith Steven, today, I can't give
you a 32nd grab here becausethere's a lot more detail than
this. But Stephen will, you knowhe's put a lot of energy into to
producing this program. As hesaid his it is the first one
(38:50):
that he's putting out, and he'sgiving us a really great price
for our listeners to attend. Andhave a look on the website la
apple.com.
Stephen Armytage (39:01):
That's L A. P now.com.
Jeremy Melder (39:05):
Great, and there's there's going to be a
lot of information as to whatSteven is doing. And we are
going to continue thisconversation because I think
it's important that we get a bitmore background as to where
Steven, why Stephen has donethis. And hopefully you're
enjoying this conversation andwe'll speak to you next
(39:31):
time. Thanks for tuning intobeaming green. Don't forget to
check out our YouTubechannel@green.com And leave us a
review on your preferred podcastor subscribe to us on YouTube.
And a special thanks to Dave andto Roman Senate on Pixabay for
(39:53):
producing some amazing music.
Keep living green and we'll seeyou next time. Bye Hi
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