January 21, 2021 • 55 mins
I am really excited to be speaking with Frederick Marx, an internationally acclaimed Oscar and Emmy nominated director/writer and producer of many films over 40 illustrious years, (inc. the award-winning Hoop Dreams, 1994). Today, I speak with him about his new book Rites to a Good Life - Everyday Rituals of Healing and Transformation.
Frederick shares his journey that started as a 9-year old boy having to deal with the loss of his father, who was 41, and the impact this had on his world view and his experience of post traumatic stress. When his Uncle declared "Freddie you are now the man of the house" he took it seriously but, as a nine year old, didn't have the capacity to fill those big shoes. it wasn't until the he found the Mankind Project 20 odd years later that he found the initiation into manhood that he desperately wanted.
In this episode with Frederick we explore:
- the importance of Elders and mentors in helping shape the lives of young men and women
- his devotion to living in his own truth, passion, and mature masculinity, which he says has helped him with the development of his films
- how Harold Ramis (Actor, director, writer, comedian) mentored Frederick for 10 years during his film career and how he treasured his sincerity
- the role of archetypes
- our shadow selves
- engaging in community
- the plight of returned soldiers and the films he has produced on the subject
- the importance of celebrating his partner Tracy before she died.
At the end of this interview I was left with a feeling of gratitude, Frederick has selflessly made a life-long contribution to the betterment of himself and his fellow human beings, through his dedication to making meaningful films and writing this book, among other things.
I encourage you to read this book, which for a limited time is available through Amazon for $1.00 US. I also recommend you have a look at his not-for-profit, Warrior Films (link below)
Worthwhile links
Buy the book - Rites to a good life
Warrior Films
Mankind Project Australia
Rites of Passage Institute
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jeremy Melder (00:00):
Happy 2021 to all the listeners of Beaming Green.
(00:04):
Now I'm hoping that you couldhelp me in 2021. I want to grow
this podcast and make sure thatpeople know about what options
there are to live a sustainablelife. I have a number of topics
that I cover throughout theyear. And I'm really excited for
2021. As I've got some greatguests coming on, please share
(00:27):
this podcast. with as manypeople as you know, via social
media, or just by word of mouth,I really would value your
support. Thank you. Hello, myname is Jeremy Melder. And I'm
the presenter from BeamingGreen. Before we start, I would
like to acknowledge that thispodcast is being held on the
(00:48):
traditional lands of thebundjalung people and pay our
respects to elders both pastpresent and emerging. The
beaming green podcast is aweekly podcast, which will help
you to take out some of thestress and confusion about how
to live your life moresustainably. And we do this by
(01:11):
introducing people that havefirst hand experience and
expertise in all aspects ofsustainability. So you can get
some amazing insight on how youcan implement the simple and
practical solutions to enhanceyour life and the lives of your
family.
(01:32):
Today, I'm really excited to bespeaking with Frederick Marx,
who is in Oakland, Californiavia zoom. He's a founder of
warrior films and an Oscar andEmmy nominated producer,
director, writer and editor with40 years in the film and TV
(01:52):
business quite extraordinary,really. In his work, he focuses
on the plight of disadvantage,and misunderstood communities,
people of color, abusedchildren, the working poor
prisoners, and at risk youth.
Frederick, He is best known forhis award winning documentary,
Hoop Dreams, which was producedin 1994. Today, we are going to
(02:15):
be speaking about his new book"Rights to a good life", which
I've read and highly recommendthe Welcome to Beaming Green.
How have you been?
Frederick Marx (02:33):
You know, it's it's funny, I've been very, very
well. And I've to expressingthat with a caveat up front.
Because the times are soextreme, and so many people are
suffering so widely around theplanet. And I think on the face
(02:58):
of it, it might soundpresumptuous or arrogant or just
outrageously out of touch. forsomeone to say I'm doing great.
Jeremy Melder (03:08):
Yeah, it has been difficult.
Frederick Marx (03:13):
Yes, it's an extremely difficult so I really,
you know, I acknowledge thatreality. But part of what makes
it a wonderful time for me isthat I see so many opportunities
for my gifts being brought forthinto the world. And there's so
(03:35):
much of a need for understandingthis time that we're in as a
rite of passage. Hmm. And so thewhole last chapter of my book is
about that. You know, and, andso I like to bring as much
comfort as possible to people byoffering that framework of
(03:56):
understanding about this time.
Jeremy Melder (03:59):
Yeah, absolutely.
So, Frederick, you know, I knowyou're not one to really brag,
but you you know, you haveproduced and directed a number
of films, you are an author, youalso have a blog. We here to
talk about, you know, the bookthat you've just been discussing
is the rights to a good life.
Now, there's been a bunch ofhard work that you've done. When
(04:22):
do you think this journeystarted for you? And what was
the inspiration behind this?
Frederick Marx (04:30):
Well, one of the things that I mentioned in the
book, in a sense, it started forme when I was nine years old,
and my father died verysuddenly. He had a heart attack.
He was 41 years old. He saidGood night to me, and then was
gone forever out of my life thenext day. And that was just a
(04:52):
tremendous shock, of course, andI kind of grew up with post
traumatic stress because of thatevent. But on the way to the
funeral, my uncle, his youngerbrothers, he put his hand on my
shoulder and he said, Well,Freddie, you're the man of the
house now. And you betterbelieve that I wanted to be that
(05:12):
man, you know, for my mother formy older sister and my younger
brother. But of course, at nineyears old, I had no capacity for
that. And it was inappropriate,frankly, to, you know, to. So my
uncle didn't stick around tomentor me to teach me how to
become that man. No other menshowed up in my teens, when I
(05:37):
really desperately needed it tobe initiated into mature
masculinity. And no othermentors really showed up for me.
So I, I grew up with this senseof vacuum of gap. It's like, how
do I become the man that I wantto be? I have no idea. So, you
(06:02):
know, cut to over 20 or morelike 30 years later, I did a
weekend workshop in Chicagocalled the Mankind Project, new
warrior training, adventure1995. And that was it. For me,
(06:23):
it was my long overdueinitiation into mature
masculinity. And ever sincethen, I've been obsessed with
this theme of rites of passage,and how mentorship and rite of
passage are really two halves ofone hole. And both are required
for each of us to realize ourgreatest potential as human
(06:46):
beings.
Jeremy Melder (06:49):
Absolutely, I totally agree with it. Now. I
also remember seeing in thebook, an African proverb that
you had said, If we do notinitiate the young, they will
burn down the village to feelthe heat. Can you unpack that a
little bit for me, what thatmeans to you?
Frederick Marx (07:11):
Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, just
by the way, you know, for years,I've been trying to research the
exact source of this, because Irealized how insufficient it is
to say it's an African proverb.
I mean, you know, which countrywhich people, right
so I'm, I haven't found it yet,but I'm still looking. So what
(07:36):
that means to me, again, on onehand, it points to the necessity
of initiation. Because if we donot initiate young people grow
up and become a danger to thewhole community and to
themselves, and of course, evento their immediate families as
(07:57):
well. But the part of thatsentence I like the most is,
they'll burn down the village tofeel the heat. And that's
something that we have tounderstand about young people
about adolescence, they want tofeel the heat, they want to be
put into circumstances thatreally test them, that really
(08:20):
drive them. And so they want tobe moved close to that fire, so
that they can learn what itfeels like to be burned. So we
need as adults, as elders, asmentors, to create
circumstances, initiatoryexperiences for them where they
(08:41):
can feel that heat, but in waysthat are safe, and and ways that
we can adjust the heat to justthe right temperature. So it's
not so hot that it burns them,and maybe some of them die.
Yeah, it's not so cool, thatthey don't get initiated, they
(09:01):
don't transform. So that's whatI love about that sentence.
Jeremy Melder (09:06):
So you're really meaning it's like challenging,
them in a very safe and sacredspace. So they can actually
express themselves to find theirauthentic self. Is that what
your What do you think thatmeans as well?
Frederick Marx (09:24):
Yeah, absolutely. You know, each of us
is endowed at birth, withsomething unique and brilliant.
Every single person on theplanet is and our task as a
community, through initiationand mentorship is to uncover
what it is that is unique andwonderful about each of us to
(09:47):
bless those gifts. And then toencourage the young people to go
forth and to give them to thecommunity because we all need
those gifts that they have
Jeremy Melder (10:00):
I totally get that. I mean, I remember when I
did my ceremony with MKP, thatfeeling of gratitude and love
and safety, which wasoverwhelming. I think I wept for
two or three days after doing myMKP weekend. And it was really,
(10:24):
truly wonderful. And it was niceto feel that safety that I don't
think I've ever reallyexperienced. And, you know, I
really would recommend anyonethat's contemplating doing that
sort of a weekend to do that,because it's really quite
valuable. Now, what do youWhat's your view on, you know,
(10:47):
initiation of both the, the, themale and the female? You've
mentioned in the book that, youknow, you see that there is a
validity of both of those. Iknow that the book primarily,
from my opinion, focuses on themale component, because that's
your expertise. But what areyour thoughts on the feminine
side?
Frederick Marx (11:08):
Well, I think girls need it just as much. But
I also think that it takesdifferent forms. Girls, by and
large, now it well, it doesn'tit doesn't. Okay, I guess that's
the more complex and trueanswer. You know, boys do not
(11:31):
have that physiologicaldemarcation of adolescence that
girls have, right? Boys don'thave menstruation, right? We
know, we do have physiologicaleffects, you know, our voice is
deep in our testicles, drop, weget hair on our bodies, etc.
(11:53):
But, you know, it's not asdramatic as, as what girls go
through. So, so that's onedifference, you know, so elders
and women of the village need torecognize when this happens with
girls, and then to introducethem immediately into its
meaning. Right, you're nowbecoming fertile. What does that
(12:17):
mean, in terms of being an adultwoman? And what does it mean in
terms of both rights andresponsibilities, because both
are key. So you know, but we,but we also have to recognize
that what in the past werestrong gender distinctions no
longer really apply in ourmodern world. And so girls, and
(12:41):
rightly so, you know, they wantto go on what you might call
adventurous rites of passage,like boys do, right? climbing
mountain, crossing rivers, youknow, scuba diving, whatever it
may be as much or more than theboys and of course, I have every
right to. So we need to allowfor that. And we need to allow
(13:07):
for both genders to be initiatedsimultaneously, together, at the
same time, that we also continueto allow for there to be models
where they're initiatedseparately. Yeah. And, you know,
for me, personally, I'mextremely grateful that I was
initiated with men only. Becausefor period of time, I needed to
(13:32):
leave the world of women behind,and I needed and this gets back
to something you were saying amoment ago, I needed to learn
that I don't have to competewith men for resources all the
time that I can actually learnto cooperate with them, and
learn to love them as mybrothers even though I don't
(13:53):
even know them well, to reallyaccept them into my heart that
was impossible for me prior to.
Jeremy Melder (14:01):
Now, I agree with that. One of the things that I
was thinking about while youwere just talking, Frederick was
that, in my opinion, men or boyshave a hard time because they
don't don't get modelledexpression of feelings as much
as the feminine In my opinion,you know, we go to school and
(14:23):
generally speaking, it will inmy experience in Australia, it's
been mostly being taught by bythe feminine and, and women and
we're not really modeled theemotion of a man. And, you know,
there's particularly inAustralia we call it the blokes,
bloke, you know, goes to the pubhas a beer, and he expresses
(14:46):
himself probably in an incorrectmanner when he's drunk. And then
then it affects the feminine orthe, his children. I think there
is a role in this for me Men tolearn how to be vulnerable in a
safe space without needingalcohol. What are your thoughts
(15:07):
on that?
Frederick Marx (15:08):
Oh, absolutely.
And we and by the way, we havethe same expression in American
English, we say the mans man
Jeremy Melder (15:16):
yeah.
Frederick Marx (15:18):
So, you know, in some ways, it speaks to the
vacuum that our dominant culturehas right now that we do not
offer adult men, otheropportunities for initiation,
other opportunities for bondingwith men as their peers, and
(15:41):
opening their hearts and doingdeep kinds of sharing with them.
So in lieu of that vacuum, wehave bars, right? We have, yes,
we have sports. Right. And, and,you know, those, well, sports,
you know, can be a kind of asimulation, sometimes, if you
(16:06):
will have an initiation. But wedo not consciously initiate man.
And we really need to do that ona massive scale, as a whole
society, because men who are notin touch with their feelings are
(16:28):
dangerous, are dangerous.
Jeremy Melder (16:31):
Yes, I totally, totally agree with you. And, you
know, I'm currently experiencingthat for my, my dear brother,
whose son is going through avery difficult time right now.
And he's only in his early 20s.
And, you know, he's goingthrough, well, the whole drug
thing, and, you know, it's, it'sreally having an effect,
(16:55):
obviously, on the family. Andit's difficult to enter into any
discussion with him because ofthe state he's in and really
needs someone that can actuallyguide him in the right way. Have
you come across? More or less?
(17:17):
What not a question? I'm sureyou've come across this sort of
situation before, but in termsof engaging with someone that is
obviously, you know, caught upin a circle of influence with
drugs and so on? What do yourecommend, in terms of how this
can be addressed?
Frederick Marx (17:36):
It's a great question, Jeremy. And it's, it's
actually it's quite complex inour society now. Because, you
know, going back hundreds ofyears, especially with
indigenous people around theplanet, there would be no
mistaking when a youngsterstarts acting out like that with
(17:56):
drugs and alcohol or abusinglittle sister, or burning down
the house. Yeah, it's time. It'shis time, right. And so the
whole village would know that.
And so the elders would come.
And they'd say, young man,you're coming with us, right?
And he wouldn't have a choiceabout it. You know, it's tricky
(18:17):
in today's society, at least inthe United States, because of
the rights, you know, that youngpeople have, and nobody,
everybody's afraid of potentialchild abuse issues. And, and we,
and it is important that werespect the integrity of young
people and their own volition,right? their own needs and
(18:39):
desires. So what I recommend areusually a number of things. You
know, one, and this is arguablymore important than initiation
is mentorship. Can that youngman get coupled with a man who
he respects, but who can helpguide him in ways that are safe,
(19:04):
so so that can be a coach thathe knows through school, it
could be somebody that he knowswho church, it could be a
relative and uncle, grandfather,even. It doesn't matter really
who it is, as long as that youngman has respect for that adult
(19:25):
man. And that adult man then hasthe capacity to contain that
fire of that young man, and thento begin to direct it in
productive ways. So that's,that's really important. But
then there's other things too,that can be done and, and what I
do when I work with parents, isI try to put in front of them
(19:47):
the palette of possibilities forinitiation, because there's so
many, right, yeah, weekendworkshops, like MKP, you can go
and sit on the land. You knowand fast for Three or four days
as a young person for a visionto inform your life, that's a
beautiful initiation. So I saywhat is the young man drawn to?
(20:10):
Is he drawn to nature? Does heloves outdoors? Great, then
maybe doing an initiation on theland of fasting initiation is
right for him. But if not, thenthere's all kinds of other
models, too. You know? So that'swhat I tried to do.
Jeremy Melder (20:26):
Yeah, I guess the, the challenge in this
situation is, is that this, thischild, or adult, young adults,
is not able to see where they'reat. So they're sort of fogged by
their situation. So it's veryhard for anyone to give input
(20:47):
into what, what what would bevalid, or seen as valid by the
child. So it's, it's kind ofhard to engage in that. So I
guess it's a time where you haveto wait for it to let that
person actually come to thatpoint of seeing that they need
help.
Frederick Marx (21:04):
Well, yes. And no, you know, we, I do talk
about this too, in the bookabout mentorship. And, you know,
one of the key qualities of aneffective mentor, is to be able
to sit down with a young man,and without judging him, say,
okay, you know, I understandyou're doing a lot of drugs,
(21:25):
you're drinking a lot, whateverit is, fine. Now, let's let's
talk about what are going to bethe outcomes of your decisions,
the outcomes of your actions,and then you can start talking
about well, okay, on thedownside, you know, there could
be addiction. There could bedanger, physical danger, you
(21:50):
might harm yourself or yourfriends, you might get in a car
wreck, I mean, whatever, youknow, talk about all of those
downsides. And then after you'vehad a full discussion about all
of it, and then you can say tothe young man, okay, it's up to
you. Are you if you're willingto pay the price? continue down
(22:11):
the path, you know, but ifyou're not willing to pay the
price, then it's maybe time toreverse direction.
Jeremy Melder (22:18):
Yeah, no, I totally agree. Now, I know that
you You are a mentor yourself interms of seeking mentors? It's
not I don't know. But it's notreally that readily obvious to
me, in terms. I mean, I belongto MKP, I see some wonderful
elders and mentors that I canspeak with. But in the community
(22:42):
at large, there seems to be noshining lights, if you know what
I mean. You've mentioned thechurch and things like that. But
how do people find these mentorsor elders that they feel safe
with? Because it might not betheir immediate family? You
know,
Frederick Marx (23:01):
yes, it may well not be and in fact, yeah. Most
often, it shouldn't be at leastit shouldn't be their parents,
right? Yeah. But an uncle orsomething would be fine. No, I
think the key factor is when ayoung person sees an adult. And
it could be in any circumstance,it could be a performance on a
(23:23):
stage, or it could be a speechthat they see on television, but
they're drawn, they're drawn tothat person. And whether they
consciously say it or not, youcan feel that draw. And what
they're feeling is I want to belike them. Right? I want
something of what that man has,I want something of what that
(23:45):
woman has. Right. And so onceyou've established that, then
you just encourage the person togo after mentorship with that
person.
Jeremy Melder (23:55):
Yeah, yeah. I appreciate that feedback,
because it might be valuable. Interms of elders, is there a
particular age you think thatsomeone comes into being an
elder?
Frederick Marx (24:09):
I wish it were simply a biological fact
Jeremy Melder (24:12):
it is you can you can be 60 and not an elder.
Right?
Frederick Marx (24:15):
Exactly. You could be 70, or 80, or 90 and
not an elder. And it's funnythat you say this, because I'm
actually going through the bookwith a copy editor right now.
And we're trying to decide whenand if we should capitalize the
word elder, in order todistinguish that from elder
(24:36):
where it's just an elder person,but they're not really an elder
with a capital E, meaning thatthey understand the important
role that they have to play inother people's lives. Because
that's what eldership should beabout is giving back.
Jeremy Melder (24:53):
Yeah, absolutely.
And it's
Frederick Marx (24:54):
not only through mentorship, but it's through all
of the acts of service that youdo you know, Through all of the
accumulated life wisdom that youhave, and even the money that
you have the resources that youhave, how can you effectively
give them back? And then nourishthe greatest number of people
with that sovereign blessing?
Because that's what it's Yeah.
Jeremy Melder (25:18):
So speaking of the sovereign do, you know, it
might be illuminating to some tojust talk through some of the
quadrants and the sovereign? Ifyou wouldn't mind expanding on
that? Because obviously, we'reboth familiar with that, from
our days of MKP, but just forpeople listening.
Frederick Marx (25:35):
Yeah. So these are ideas that originally
actually come from Carl Jung,the student and disciple of
Sigmund Freud. And then they'vebeen adapted and changed to some
degree in the last 50 years bymodern psychologists. And the
(25:57):
key ones that inform our workwith MKP are Robert Moore, and
Douglas Gillette. And togetherthey wrote a book called King
warrior magician lover. Okay, sothose are the four key
archetypes that they Iidentified. And they exist in
(26:20):
all people. Right? And so Kingbecomes Queen for women, or
let's just make it non genderand call it sovereign. Right. So
how you know how to give athumbnail sketch of these
energies? Well, we all havethem. And the question that for
(26:44):
us to determine is where are weweak? In some areas? And where
are we strong, maybe too strong?
And where are we just right? Andso the key is to have that
balance of just right among allfour energy quadrants. Now, for
me personally, that journey hasmeant discovering that once I
did my initiation, that I'm verystrong in the lover, magician,
(27:10):
axis. Yeah, well, most mkp menare, you know, so lover is like
feelings. sensory experiences,sensual experience, experiences,
magician is all about creativeenergy learning, accumulating
knowledge, etc. But the warriorking axis is, of course, just as
(27:35):
important. And that's where I'vehad to do most of my personal
work over the last 25 years, isstrengthening that warrior king
axis. And for me, that meantpartly bringing my warrior out
of shadow. Because as asensitive feeling, man, I was
not about to express that fullon fierce warrior energy for
(27:58):
fear of offending. Yeah, yeah,people, you know, and then of
course, the sovereign has toguide it all. Yeah. So the
sovereign has to know what isthe the skillful means, right?
to enact the greatest sense ofnurturance, among the whole
(28:22):
village among the wholecommunity. And we and he is, you
know, he, she, that that energyis the force that directs all of
the other energies toward theright goals.
Jeremy Melder (28:37):
So, my understanding, and I agree with
all that you've said, but theidea for the way I view it, and
I might be wrong here Frederickis that, you know, if, if you if
you can stand in the sovereignin the, in the axis, and at any
(28:59):
given time, depending on theneed, you can act, you know,
getting good access to thewarrior or to the lover or the
magician, when needed, if youare, you know, a perfect person,
which I'm definitely not, which.
But that's the ultimate goal, ifhe could achieve that is to be
(29:22):
able to be in that, you know, inthat center, holding the staff
and being able to be that, youknow, king queen, or in the, you
know, an axis is that is thatabout right what we're what our
ultimate goal is.
Frederick Marx (29:40):
Well, yeah, exactly. I mean to be balanced
across all four quadrants. ButI'll tell you one thing since
you mentioned perfect. You know,I have a shadow of perfection,
where I tell myself and shadowI'll just tell your listeners in
case I'm familiar with the term.
You know, it also comes fromJung. It's all of that dark,
(30:03):
geeky stuff that is true aboutwho we are as human beings, but
we hide it. we repress it, wedeny it, we pretend it doesn't
exist. And until we learn toturn and face those shadows and
to accept them and embrace them,and say, yes, this is me, too.
(30:23):
This is me, too. And actuallylove them, and actually utilize
them as energy sources for doingour work in the world, then
we're going to be in bigtrouble. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
So the difference for me, thereare no perfect people. But the
difference for me and highquality people versus a lesser
(30:44):
quality people, if you will, arepeople who know their shadows,
who are deeply familiar withthem, and can keep them in and
clearly in front of them, andare open and transparent about
Yeah, like, I just want to goit's like I got to perfection.
Yeah, yeah, believe the rest ofthe time talking about all my
(31:05):
shadows, but we don't haveenough time.
Jeremy Melder (31:13):
Thanks for sharing that I really
acknowledge that. And now I, I,when I was reading your book, I
was quite touched with whatyou've been through with your
partner, wife, Tracy, when shewas not very well. And I just
(31:35):
wanted to acknowledge you forsharing a little bit about that,
in terms of let me rephrase thatsaid, the way we look at dying,
is, in the Western worldparticularly isn't really that,
in my view, very healthy, wedon't see that as something that
(31:57):
we celebrate. And what I noticedfrom reading the book is that
you did a celebration of Tracy,before she passed away, and
acknowledged her and people cameand sat beside the chair, that
deeply touched me, I just wantedto ask you to speak to that,
(32:20):
because I just don't think inAustralia, perhaps in this in
the United States, we don't doenough of that.
Frederick Marx (32:29):
I agree. And it's one of the things that I've
discovered in the course of mylife as kind of a side mission,
if you will, to promote lifehonoring celebrations, so that
if we know somebody that wedearly love is passing. Why wait
until after they've passed togather and sing their praises.
(32:54):
Let's do it while they're alive,and do it to their face. Yeah.
And so this is what we did forTracy. And, and I've actually
participated in others thatwe've done for other people. And
it's so simple, and it's sodeeply meaningful and rewarding.
And I think that it fills a needin every human being, to know
(33:17):
that the life that I've spenthas been meaningful, and that
whatever gifts that I have, Ihave shared them. And the people
around me have benefited fromthem. So that they're reflecting
that back to me now and saying,Thank you. I'm the woman I am
today because of what you did inmy life. And that's what Tracy
(33:41):
got to hear before she died.
Yeah. So just by the way, youknow, the first book I wrote is
called a destiny was part it'sall about Tracy die.
Jeremy Melder (33:53):
Okay. I'll have to read that. And
Frederick Marx (33:55):
it's about, yeah, it's about my journey
through the grief afterwards.
And so there's an even biggersection in there about the life
honoring celebration that wedid.
Jeremy Melder (34:06):
Yeah, with my partner just lost her mother.
We've been looking after her forprobably the last five years.
And we, you know, did our bestto honor her while she was
alive. But you know, what youdid, I think was worth
mentioning, because I don'tthink we did it as well as we
(34:26):
could have. But we did the bestwe could with what knowledge we
had. One of the things in thebook is about community and I
like the story about the womanwith a dog and about being in
touch with community. Can youunpack that for me about that
story and and the value ofcommunity?
Frederick Marx (34:46):
Well, yeah, and I'll just first say a side note,
you know, in that chapter, youknow, I talked about how
community historically used tobe so geographically determined.
Right, we hopefully, you know, acouple 100 years ago, we knew
all of our neighbors. And wedepended on them. And they
(35:08):
depended on us. And and that wasfundamental to our survival as
individuals. Now, of course, wehave community in so many
different forms. And we can havecommunity like you and I are in
community right now. Rightacross the world, you know. So
(35:29):
Terrence told a beautiful story,that, in a sense is kind of
about old fashioned geographiccommunity, right. So in his
neighborhood, there was an olderwoman who used to walk his dog
every day. And she had recentlymoved to the neighborhood. So he
noticed her, and I think, youknow, would say hello on
(35:50):
passing. And then after a while,he stopped seeing, and so he
grew concerned. And so heactually went and knocked on her
door. And she didn't answer thedoor. And so eventually, they
had to break the door down, andthey went inside, and they found
her passed out. And so, youknow, they call the ambulance,
(36:13):
she went to the hospital, and ithelped to save her life. So, a
week or two after this, youknow, he's seeing her Walker
dog, again, in the neighborhood.
And he says, Don't make me takea switch on you, right. And
that's, that's jargon andAfrican American slang meeting,
(36:34):
you know, take a whip to your,to your behind the discipline
you, you know, Call me, call meand check in with me, here's my
number, here, and my cell, myhome phone, everything, call me
and check in so that I know thatyou're safe. So it's a beautiful
video about how we watch out foreach and I think
Jeremy Melder (36:57):
that's really important. I think that's
something that wyrms arehighlighting that is because I
don't think that's something,particularly in a western world,
that we do very well, like, youknow, we know our neighbors,
because we live in a smallcommunity. But if I was in a
city, and I lived in anapartment block, would I know
(37:17):
all of my neighbors? Most likelynot. So I just think that was a
really lovely story aboutengaging with community. And I
really resonated with that.
Frederick Marx (37:28):
Well, and we can do it, too. I mean, to some
degree, I mean, I live thebuilding where I'm speaking
right now is a three flat. Sothere's three apartments in the
building. So when I was movingin, one of the first things I
did was I went to both of mydownstairs neighbors, introduce
myself, said, here's who I am.
And if I can do anything foryou, when you're out of town,
(37:50):
like taking your mail or walkyour dog, let me know. And vice
versa. So that's Can I agreewith that?
Jeremy Melder (37:59):
Frederick, now, we're going back to mentoring.
And I was again in the book,touched by your mentor, Harold
Ramis, if I'm correctlypronouncing him, Ramis, and you
know, how he's impacted on yourlife as a as a mentor? Would you
(38:20):
like to tell us a little bitmore about that? Because I just
thought it was a lovely story,how he helped you.
Frederick Marx (38:27):
Gosh, there's so many ways I don't think I'll
remember half
Jeremy Melder (38:32):
that okay.
Frederick Marx (38:33):
yeah, so Harold was a mentor, for at least 10
years for me. And part of whatmade him an excellent mentor for
me was that he's a famousfilmmaker. So he knew the whole
filmmaking world. And he knewall of the various challenges
that could come from being inthat career. So so that's one
(39:00):
way, maybe the most superficialway that he helped me, because
when I had problems withpartners, business problems, and
he would help me to sortthrough, first of all, whether
it was important enough to fightfor or not, to maybe just let it
go. And then if it was importantto fight for how to fight for it
(39:24):
most effectively. Well, one ofthe beautiful ways that he
mentored for me was things thathe mentored humility, he modeled
it. He was such a humble man.
And this is a man who has knownthe world over Yeah, as an
actor, a writer and director andwas a famous man. And yet when
(39:44):
when he was on my board, and wewould have due to my very bad
planning and bad judgment, wewould have board meetings in
Chicago in December in themiddle of Winter. And so he
would have to drive from 30miles north of town in the
(40:04):
suburbs where he lived throughthe snow, and the freezing
temperatures to get to where wewere having the meetings, and he
would do it. And he would nevercomplain or say a thing about
it. So that was something elsethat he did. Gosh, I feel bad
because it's been so long sinceI, I read my own.
Jeremy Melder (40:29):
But that's okay.
No, but I just remember himbeing quite instrumental in
guiding you in specially in thefilm, but also in your life, I
felt felt some resonance therethat he was very, very much a
guiding light for you. And Ijust wanted to say that, that I
felt that by reading that. So Ijust wanted to touch on that if
he wanted to.
Frederick Marx (40:52):
Well, I'm just gonna add another point that I
do remember now from my own blogabout him. Honor the teacher,
right, honor the mentor. Andwhen I knew he was dying, I knew
that he was in such bad shapethat it was difficult for him
even to get on the phone. Sowhat I did was when I wrote him,
(41:17):
I just wrote him and I waseffusive with the ways that he
had made me a better man. I toldhim that So in a sense, I gave
him my own little mini lifehonoring celebration. That's
great, right to tell him how heimpacted my life, and made it
better. Yeah. These areimportant things that we need to
do with our mental. Absolutely,
Jeremy Melder (41:37):
absolutely. Now I haven't, this is something that
I noticed that you've justyou've you've finished a film
that it's talking about returnsoldiers, and they're coming
home and how it seems a bitinadequate in terms of when they
come home. And as to how they'relooked after. Now, I, you know,
(42:02):
my brother in law lives inOakland in San Francisco, and I
visited him and going to SanFrancisco in the town, I saw so
many vets on the streets. And Iwas quite I was I was quite
saddened by it. Because I justthought these people have put
(42:26):
their life on the lines and youknow, done something, what they
believe for their country. And,yeah, I feel that they need
more. And I agree with you. AndI could fill in that short video
clip that you had on there. Icould feel the anger and rage
(42:50):
that was coming out about notbeing a particularly from a
black persons perspective.
Frederick Marx (42:55):
Oh, exactly.
Right. Yeah. Well, first of all,bless you, you know, for you
know, having your heart be soopen to these men and women who
you're absolutely right, servetheir country. And now here they
are living on the streets, andbegging for some of them. And
it's it's heartbreaking. And bythe way, I live in Oakland. So I
(43:20):
see homeless vets almost all thetime. And yes, there are more in
San Francisco. But there'splenty of Oakland too. So one of
the things that my film makesclear, and by the way, it's five
films, it's actually a five filmseries called veterans journey
home. Yep, is that veterans arestuck in the middle of a rite of
(43:45):
passage. And the military doesnot give them what it is that
they need in order tosuccessfully transition back
into civilian life. Because whatthey need is a psychic and
emotional homecoming. They needthat final stage three of the
(44:07):
archetype of initiation, whichI'll just say, is usually the
first stage of separation, whichthey go through when their heads
are shaved, and they're inductedinto the military and taught how
to act and think as a unit andfor their brothers and sisters
(44:28):
and not for themselves. Right.
That's a beautiful lesson inmany ways, right? And we all
need that lesson. The secondthing is ordeal is service. They
go overseas, and you know, theysee death. They see death, you
know, either up close andpersonal or at arm's removed, bu
(44:54):
they also experience all kindof sense of betrayal and loss
And this is dramatic too. And icould come in the form of the
unintentionally kill women anchildren. Or it could come i
the form of their buddy dies itheir arms, and they fee
responsible for not preventintheir death could come in
(45:18):
million different forms, buthey carry this psychic an
emotional burden. Yeah, frowhat they've done. And then wha
happens, they go home, thmilitary says thank you for you
service. Good luck, soldier. Anthat's it. Nobody teaches the
how to let go of the psychic anemotional burdens. So the fil
(45:38):
series highlights the ways thawe as community can com
together to support veterans, thold them through thi
transition back home, so thathey can and what has t
symbolically happen is that was civilians, need to take th
(46:00):
burden off of their shoulderswhatever they're carrying, an
put it on us on the collectionAnd together, we hold tha
burden, so that they don't havto suffer it alone. And so tha
they're not driven bnightmares, and driven int
alcoholism and drug abuse anhomelessness, etc. Trying t
fight off those demons. No, winvite the demons out. And w
(46:23):
say we'll hold them with youOh, that's what the films ar
about. Fantastic
Jeremy Melder (46:29):
And you're trying to get them released. Is that
right? You're looking forsomeone to
Frederick Marx (46:36):
Well, we're finishing the last two right
now. But the first three havebeen out for about a year now.
And we've entered them. We'vewon screenings in about 23
festivals, and one two BestDocumentary awards. So we're
slowly getting them out. Butobviously with COVID, it's not
(46:58):
easy. But yeah, we're gettingdistribution. And in fact, if
any of your listeners know waysto bring these films to
Australia, please reach out tous
Jeremy Melder (47:08):
now coming to role of leaders. In your book,
you say that today's world is indire circumstances, much of the
exploitation, environmentaldestruction, racism, sexism, and
warfare are a function of anuninitiated, men, suspended in
(47:31):
positions of leadership. Andit's funny, I was having a
conversation about this withanother friend of mine that said
that our world is run by men,but they're really children or
teenagers. What are yourthoughts?
Frederick Marx (47:50):
I couldn't agree more. Yeah, there are teacher
teenagers and adult clothing.
Yeah. And, you know, one of thequotes that I have in the book
is from Robert Bly, whoconsidered one of the
foundational members of the socalled men's movement, which
started in the early 80s. In theUnited States. And Robert says,
you know, in Africa, It'sunthinkable that somebody could
(48:16):
become president of the countrywithout first being initiated.
And, you know, it just rings sotrue. Because if you're not
initiated, you're not going toknow the value of human life.
You're not going to know it. Andunless you know, the value of
(48:36):
human life, you're going to makereally bad decisions about
sending men and women off. Yeah,to fight wars that maybe
shouldn't be fought at all.
Jeremy Melder (48:51):
Yeah, I mean, we could talk about leaders in
quite a few countries. you'vehad a few challenges yourself.
Frederick Marx (49:02):
I was gonna say we've got the most dysfunctional
one on wall right. Yeah. So and,it's interesting, too, that in
the book I also talk aboutRobert said Robert Bly, again,
men act out in dysfunctionalways because they unconsciously
seek their Father's blessing.
And look at Donald Trump. Solately, yeah. Here's a man who
(49:27):
was probably shamed andhumiliated from the time he was
born by his own father. And allhe's trying to do is in effect
live up to daddy's good gracesand get that blessing. And
George Bush I think was hardlyany different.
Jeremy Melder (49:48):
Yeah. Now I agree with that. It's, it's, it's it's
blaringly obvious, but it's it'sa shame that we've got Well,
there's two weeks to go. Isn'tthere?
Frederick Marx (49:59):
We are counting down every minute,
Jeremy Melder (50:05):
yes, there's been so many lives lost through this
COVID-19. And people have reallyhad a hard, hard year or it's
still going on in the UnitedStates. And you know, that's
also a part of, I would say, theleadership that could have
hopefully curtailed this insomewhat and what I'm feeling
blessed that I live inAustralia, and there's, you
(50:28):
know, as not not as much of animpact as you got you in America
have experience. But I do, youknow, pour my heart out to
Americans that are doing ittough, as I'm sure there are
people doing it tough all overthe world right now. But
Frederick, I really want tothank you for being on Beaming
(50:49):
Green.
Frederick Marx (50:56):
you're most welcome. Yeah, thank you. It's
my pleasure. I mean, I get to Iget to share what excites me and
what I'm passionate about. Andso thank you, thank you.
Jeremy Melder (51:07):
And I hope that our listeners will download the
book or buy the book, can youtell us about how they can
access it, I'll put a link tothis in the show notes, and also
some of the films that you'vedone so that they can have a
look, and maybe elaborate on howthey can also support you.
Frederick Marx (51:26):
Well, thank you for that question. Yeah. So the
book is available around theworld on Amazon, you know, what
isn't? And so, yeah, you can,it's called Rites To A Good
Life, or RITES. And the subtitleis Everyday Rituals of Healing
and Transformation. And rightnow, we're sort of doing a sneak
(51:49):
preview or advanced sales. Sowe're only selling it for $1.
Because I'm still making veryslight changes to the book. in
about three or four months,we'll have the audio book out.
And we'll also have the hardcopybook out. So as for the films
and everything else, I do go towarrior films.org. And as for
(52:16):
how you can support us, youknow, we're a nonprofit company.
So that means we survive largelythrough donations. So if your
call to donate great, you know,we welcome it, you can click on
our website, it's very easy. Ifyou simply just want to get
updates from me. I welcome that,too. I send out newsletters
(52:40):
almost once a month. And inthose newsletters, we give away
about 80% of what we do. So thatmeans all the short films, all
the blogs, excerpts frompublished articles, and
sometimes excerpts from the longfilms. So and I always make it
(53:01):
frankly, upbeat, and meaningful.
So we do that once a month. Andand then. So all I ask is you
just simply give us your nameand an email address. And you're
good It's a very simple process.
Jeremy Melder (53:15):
And I highly recommend the book. But as I as
I just said earlier that Ifinished the book just
yesterday. And there's lots ofhandy hints there for anyone
that's wanting to get into thistype of work. But there's just
for Australian listeners, thereis MKP in Australia. And there's
(53:39):
also a sister organizationcalled Women for Women. That's
also operational in Queensland.
Frederick Marx (53:48):
Yeah, but first, let me actually mention too,
that there is a number oforganizations to that initiated
mentor. Oh, boy. Uh huh.
Jeremy Melder (53:56):
You know, you're serious. Yeah.
Frederick Marx (53:57):
And you know, the name is better than I can
even
Jeremy Melder (54:00):
spoken with Arne Rubenstein previously, who also
does read rites of passage innorthern New South Wales. And
he's been interviewed on episodesix, I think it was. But yeah,
he's he right?
Frederick Marx (54:18):
Yeah, I love Arne. So, yeah, just simply go
to mkp.org. That's the publicface of our organization. And
you'll find all kinds of thingsthere that I think are of
tremendous use and value, notonly to men, actually, but to
(54:39):
women, too, so that they canbegin to understand men all that
much more deeply andmeaningfully.
Jeremy Melder (54:46):
Yeah. Well, once again, Frederick Marx thank you
for being on Beaming Green.
Thank you for being part of theBeaming Green podcast. The music
for this podcast is produced byDave Weir. We need more people
to get on board and raiseawareness about sustainability
(55:06):
and climate change. The more ofus that are shining the light on
these issues, the moregovernments and businesses will
listen. We would love you tosubscribe to our podcast and
share and engage in social mediaso that we can get some
(55:27):
traction. Let us support oneanother and envision a future
thanks for listening and see younext time.
Happy 2021 to all the listeners of Beaming Green.
(00:04):
Now I'm hoping that you couldhelp me in 2021. I want to grow
this podcast and make sure thatpeople know about what options
there are to live a sustainablelife. I have a number of topics
that I cover throughout theyear. And I'm really excited for
2021. As I've got some greatguests coming on, please share
(00:27):
this podcast. with as manypeople as you know, via social
media, or just by word of mouth,I really would value your
support. Thank you. Hello, myname is Jeremy Melder. And I'm
the presenter from BeamingGreen. Before we start, I would
like to acknowledge that thispodcast is being held on the
(00:48):
traditional lands of thebundjalung people and pay our
respects to elders both pastpresent and emerging. The
beaming green podcast is aweekly podcast, which will help
you to take out some of thestress and confusion about how
to live your life moresustainably. And we do this by
(01:11):
introducing people that havefirst hand experience and
expertise in all aspects ofsustainability. So you can get
some amazing insight on how youcan implement the simple and
practical solutions to enhanceyour life and the lives of your
family.
(01:32):
Today, I'm really excited to bespeaking with Frederick Marx,
who is in Oakland, Californiavia zoom. He's a founder of
warrior films and an Oscar andEmmy nominated producer,
director, writer and editor with40 years in the film and TV
(01:52):
business quite extraordinary,really. In his work, he focuses
on the plight of disadvantage,and misunderstood communities,
people of color, abusedchildren, the working poor
prisoners, and at risk youth.
Frederick, He is best known forhis award winning documentary,
Hoop Dreams, which was producedin 1994. Today, we are going to
(02:15):
be speaking about his new book"Rights to a good life", which
I've read and highly recommendthe Welcome to Beaming Green.
How have you been?
Frederick Marx (02:33):
You know, it's it's funny, I've been very, very
well. And I've to expressingthat with a caveat up front.
Because the times are soextreme, and so many people are
suffering so widely around theplanet. And I think on the face
(02:58):
of it, it might soundpresumptuous or arrogant or just
outrageously out of touch. forsomeone to say I'm doing great.
Jeremy Melder (03:08):
Yeah, it has been difficult.
Frederick Marx (03:13):
Yes, it's an extremely difficult so I really,
you know, I acknowledge thatreality. But part of what makes
it a wonderful time for me isthat I see so many opportunities
for my gifts being brought forthinto the world. And there's so
(03:35):
much of a need for understandingthis time that we're in as a
rite of passage. Hmm. And so thewhole last chapter of my book is
about that. You know, and, andso I like to bring as much
comfort as possible to people byoffering that framework of
(03:56):
understanding about this time.
Jeremy Melder (03:59):
Yeah, absolutely.
So, Frederick, you know, I knowyou're not one to really brag,
but you you know, you haveproduced and directed a number
of films, you are an author, youalso have a blog. We here to
talk about, you know, the bookthat you've just been discussing
is the rights to a good life.
Now, there's been a bunch ofhard work that you've done. When
(04:22):
do you think this journeystarted for you? And what was
the inspiration behind this?
Frederick Marx (04:30):
Well, one of the things that I mentioned in the
book, in a sense, it started forme when I was nine years old,
and my father died verysuddenly. He had a heart attack.
He was 41 years old. He saidGood night to me, and then was
gone forever out of my life thenext day. And that was just a
(04:52):
tremendous shock, of course, andI kind of grew up with post
traumatic stress because of thatevent. But on the way to the
funeral, my uncle, his youngerbrothers, he put his hand on my
shoulder and he said, Well,Freddie, you're the man of the
house now. And you betterbelieve that I wanted to be that
(05:12):
man, you know, for my mother formy older sister and my younger
brother. But of course, at nineyears old, I had no capacity for
that. And it was inappropriate,frankly, to, you know, to. So my
uncle didn't stick around tomentor me to teach me how to
become that man. No other menshowed up in my teens, when I
(05:37):
really desperately needed it tobe initiated into mature
masculinity. And no othermentors really showed up for me.
So I, I grew up with this senseof vacuum of gap. It's like, how
do I become the man that I wantto be? I have no idea. So, you
(06:02):
know, cut to over 20 or morelike 30 years later, I did a
weekend workshop in Chicagocalled the Mankind Project, new
warrior training, adventure1995. And that was it. For me,
(06:23):
it was my long overdueinitiation into mature
masculinity. And ever sincethen, I've been obsessed with
this theme of rites of passage,and how mentorship and rite of
passage are really two halves ofone hole. And both are required
for each of us to realize ourgreatest potential as human
(06:46):
beings.
Jeremy Melder (06:49):
Absolutely, I totally agree with it. Now. I
also remember seeing in thebook, an African proverb that
you had said, If we do notinitiate the young, they will
burn down the village to feelthe heat. Can you unpack that a
little bit for me, what thatmeans to you?
Frederick Marx (07:11):
Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, just
by the way, you know, for years,I've been trying to research the
exact source of this, because Irealized how insufficient it is
to say it's an African proverb.
I mean, you know, which countrywhich people, right
so I'm, I haven't found it yet,but I'm still looking. So what
(07:36):
that means to me, again, on onehand, it points to the necessity
of initiation. Because if we donot initiate young people grow
up and become a danger to thewhole community and to
themselves, and of course, evento their immediate families as
(07:57):
well. But the part of thatsentence I like the most is,
they'll burn down the village tofeel the heat. And that's
something that we have tounderstand about young people
about adolescence, they want tofeel the heat, they want to be
put into circumstances thatreally test them, that really
(08:20):
drive them. And so they want tobe moved close to that fire, so
that they can learn what itfeels like to be burned. So we
need as adults, as elders, asmentors, to create
circumstances, initiatoryexperiences for them where they
(08:41):
can feel that heat, but in waysthat are safe, and and ways that
we can adjust the heat to justthe right temperature. So it's
not so hot that it burns them,and maybe some of them die.
Yeah, it's not so cool, thatthey don't get initiated, they
(09:01):
don't transform. So that's whatI love about that sentence.
Jeremy Melder (09:06):
So you're really meaning it's like challenging,
them in a very safe and sacredspace. So they can actually
express themselves to find theirauthentic self. Is that what
your What do you think thatmeans as well?
Frederick Marx (09:24):
Yeah, absolutely. You know, each of us
is endowed at birth, withsomething unique and brilliant.
Every single person on theplanet is and our task as a
community, through initiationand mentorship is to uncover
what it is that is unique andwonderful about each of us to
(09:47):
bless those gifts. And then toencourage the young people to go
forth and to give them to thecommunity because we all need
those gifts that they have
Jeremy Melder (10:00):
I totally get that. I mean, I remember when I
did my ceremony with MKP, thatfeeling of gratitude and love
and safety, which wasoverwhelming. I think I wept for
two or three days after doing myMKP weekend. And it was really,
(10:24):
truly wonderful. And it was niceto feel that safety that I don't
think I've ever reallyexperienced. And, you know, I
really would recommend anyonethat's contemplating doing that
sort of a weekend to do that,because it's really quite
valuable. Now, what do youWhat's your view on, you know,
(10:47):
initiation of both the, the, themale and the female? You've
mentioned in the book that, youknow, you see that there is a
validity of both of those. Iknow that the book primarily,
from my opinion, focuses on themale component, because that's
your expertise. But what areyour thoughts on the feminine
side?
Frederick Marx (11:08):
Well, I think girls need it just as much. But
I also think that it takesdifferent forms. Girls, by and
large, now it well, it doesn'tit doesn't. Okay, I guess that's
the more complex and trueanswer. You know, boys do not
(11:31):
have that physiologicaldemarcation of adolescence that
girls have, right? Boys don'thave menstruation, right? We
know, we do have physiologicaleffects, you know, our voice is
deep in our testicles, drop, weget hair on our bodies, etc.
(11:53):
But, you know, it's not asdramatic as, as what girls go
through. So, so that's onedifference, you know, so elders
and women of the village need torecognize when this happens with
girls, and then to introducethem immediately into its
meaning. Right, you're nowbecoming fertile. What does that
(12:17):
mean, in terms of being an adultwoman? And what does it mean in
terms of both rights andresponsibilities, because both
are key. So you know, but we,but we also have to recognize
that what in the past werestrong gender distinctions no
longer really apply in ourmodern world. And so girls, and
(12:41):
rightly so, you know, they wantto go on what you might call
adventurous rites of passage,like boys do, right? climbing
mountain, crossing rivers, youknow, scuba diving, whatever it
may be as much or more than theboys and of course, I have every
right to. So we need to allowfor that. And we need to allow
(13:07):
for both genders to be initiatedsimultaneously, together, at the
same time, that we also continueto allow for there to be models
where they're initiatedseparately. Yeah. And, you know,
for me, personally, I'mextremely grateful that I was
initiated with men only. Becausefor period of time, I needed to
(13:32):
leave the world of women behind,and I needed and this gets back
to something you were saying amoment ago, I needed to learn
that I don't have to competewith men for resources all the
time that I can actually learnto cooperate with them, and
learn to love them as mybrothers even though I don't
(13:53):
even know them well, to reallyaccept them into my heart that
was impossible for me prior to.
Jeremy Melder (14:01):
Now, I agree with that. One of the things that I
was thinking about while youwere just talking, Frederick was
that, in my opinion, men or boyshave a hard time because they
don't don't get modelledexpression of feelings as much
as the feminine In my opinion,you know, we go to school and
(14:23):
generally speaking, it will inmy experience in Australia, it's
been mostly being taught by bythe feminine and, and women and
we're not really modeled theemotion of a man. And, you know,
there's particularly inAustralia we call it the blokes,
bloke, you know, goes to the pubhas a beer, and he expresses
(14:46):
himself probably in an incorrectmanner when he's drunk. And then
then it affects the feminine orthe, his children. I think there
is a role in this for me Men tolearn how to be vulnerable in a
safe space without needingalcohol. What are your thoughts
(15:07):
on that?
Frederick Marx (15:08):
Oh, absolutely.
And we and by the way, we havethe same expression in American
English, we say the mans man
Jeremy Melder (15:16):
yeah.
Frederick Marx (15:18):
So, you know, in some ways, it speaks to the
vacuum that our dominant culturehas right now that we do not
offer adult men, otheropportunities for initiation,
other opportunities for bondingwith men as their peers, and
(15:41):
opening their hearts and doingdeep kinds of sharing with them.
So in lieu of that vacuum, wehave bars, right? We have, yes,
we have sports. Right. And, and,you know, those, well, sports,
you know, can be a kind of asimulation, sometimes, if you
(16:06):
will have an initiation. But wedo not consciously initiate man.
And we really need to do that ona massive scale, as a whole
society, because men who are notin touch with their feelings are
(16:28):
dangerous, are dangerous.
Jeremy Melder (16:31):
Yes, I totally, totally agree with you. And, you
know, I'm currently experiencingthat for my, my dear brother,
whose son is going through avery difficult time right now.
And he's only in his early 20s.
And, you know, he's goingthrough, well, the whole drug
thing, and, you know, it's, it'sreally having an effect,
(16:55):
obviously, on the family. Andit's difficult to enter into any
discussion with him because ofthe state he's in and really
needs someone that can actuallyguide him in the right way. Have
you come across? More or less?
(17:17):
What not a question? I'm sureyou've come across this sort of
situation before, but in termsof engaging with someone that is
obviously, you know, caught upin a circle of influence with
drugs and so on? What do yourecommend, in terms of how this
can be addressed?
Frederick Marx (17:36):
It's a great question, Jeremy. And it's, it's
actually it's quite complex inour society now. Because, you
know, going back hundreds ofyears, especially with
indigenous people around theplanet, there would be no
mistaking when a youngsterstarts acting out like that with
(17:56):
drugs and alcohol or abusinglittle sister, or burning down
the house. Yeah, it's time. It'shis time, right. And so the
whole village would know that.
And so the elders would come.
And they'd say, young man,you're coming with us, right?
And he wouldn't have a choiceabout it. You know, it's tricky
(18:17):
in today's society, at least inthe United States, because of
the rights, you know, that youngpeople have, and nobody,
everybody's afraid of potentialchild abuse issues. And, and we,
and it is important that werespect the integrity of young
people and their own volition,right? their own needs and
(18:39):
desires. So what I recommend areusually a number of things. You
know, one, and this is arguablymore important than initiation
is mentorship. Can that youngman get coupled with a man who
he respects, but who can helpguide him in ways that are safe,
(19:04):
so so that can be a coach thathe knows through school, it
could be somebody that he knowswho church, it could be a
relative and uncle, grandfather,even. It doesn't matter really
who it is, as long as that youngman has respect for that adult
(19:25):
man. And that adult man then hasthe capacity to contain that
fire of that young man, and thento begin to direct it in
productive ways. So that's,that's really important. But
then there's other things too,that can be done and, and what I
do when I work with parents, isI try to put in front of them
(19:47):
the palette of possibilities forinitiation, because there's so
many, right, yeah, weekendworkshops, like MKP, you can go
and sit on the land. You knowand fast for Three or four days
as a young person for a visionto inform your life, that's a
beautiful initiation. So I saywhat is the young man drawn to?
(20:10):
Is he drawn to nature? Does heloves outdoors? Great, then
maybe doing an initiation on theland of fasting initiation is
right for him. But if not, thenthere's all kinds of other
models, too. You know? So that'swhat I tried to do.
Jeremy Melder (20:26):
Yeah, I guess the, the challenge in this
situation is, is that this, thischild, or adult, young adults,
is not able to see where they'reat. So they're sort of fogged by
their situation. So it's veryhard for anyone to give input
(20:47):
into what, what what would bevalid, or seen as valid by the
child. So it's, it's kind ofhard to engage in that. So I
guess it's a time where you haveto wait for it to let that
person actually come to thatpoint of seeing that they need
help.
Frederick Marx (21:04):
Well, yes. And no, you know, we, I do talk
about this too, in the bookabout mentorship. And, you know,
one of the key qualities of aneffective mentor, is to be able
to sit down with a young man,and without judging him, say,
okay, you know, I understandyou're doing a lot of drugs,
(21:25):
you're drinking a lot, whateverit is, fine. Now, let's let's
talk about what are going to bethe outcomes of your decisions,
the outcomes of your actions,and then you can start talking
about well, okay, on thedownside, you know, there could
be addiction. There could bedanger, physical danger, you
(21:50):
might harm yourself or yourfriends, you might get in a car
wreck, I mean, whatever, youknow, talk about all of those
downsides. And then after you'vehad a full discussion about all
of it, and then you can say tothe young man, okay, it's up to
you. Are you if you're willingto pay the price? continue down
(22:11):
the path, you know, but ifyou're not willing to pay the
price, then it's maybe time toreverse direction.
Jeremy Melder (22:18):
Yeah, no, I totally agree. Now, I know that
you You are a mentor yourself interms of seeking mentors? It's
not I don't know. But it's notreally that readily obvious to
me, in terms. I mean, I belongto MKP, I see some wonderful
elders and mentors that I canspeak with. But in the community
(22:42):
at large, there seems to be noshining lights, if you know what
I mean. You've mentioned thechurch and things like that. But
how do people find these mentorsor elders that they feel safe
with? Because it might not betheir immediate family? You
know,
Frederick Marx (23:01):
yes, it may well not be and in fact, yeah. Most
often, it shouldn't be at leastit shouldn't be their parents,
right? Yeah. But an uncle orsomething would be fine. No, I
think the key factor is when ayoung person sees an adult. And
it could be in any circumstance,it could be a performance on a
(23:23):
stage, or it could be a speechthat they see on television, but
they're drawn, they're drawn tothat person. And whether they
consciously say it or not, youcan feel that draw. And what
they're feeling is I want to belike them. Right? I want
something of what that man has,I want something of what that
(23:45):
woman has. Right. And so onceyou've established that, then
you just encourage the person togo after mentorship with that
person.
Jeremy Melder (23:55):
Yeah, yeah. I appreciate that feedback,
because it might be valuable. Interms of elders, is there a
particular age you think thatsomeone comes into being an
elder?
Frederick Marx (24:09):
I wish it were simply a biological fact
Jeremy Melder (24:12):
it is you can you can be 60 and not an elder.
Right?
Frederick Marx (24:15):
Exactly. You could be 70, or 80, or 90 and
not an elder. And it's funnythat you say this, because I'm
actually going through the bookwith a copy editor right now.
And we're trying to decide whenand if we should capitalize the
word elder, in order todistinguish that from elder
(24:36):
where it's just an elder person,but they're not really an elder
with a capital E, meaning thatthey understand the important
role that they have to play inother people's lives. Because
that's what eldership should beabout is giving back.
Jeremy Melder (24:53):
Yeah, absolutely.
And it's
Frederick Marx (24:54):
not only through mentorship, but it's through all
of the acts of service that youdo you know, Through all of the
accumulated life wisdom that youhave, and even the money that
you have the resources that youhave, how can you effectively
give them back? And then nourishthe greatest number of people
with that sovereign blessing?
Because that's what it's Yeah.
Jeremy Melder (25:18):
So speaking of the sovereign do, you know, it
might be illuminating to some tojust talk through some of the
quadrants and the sovereign? Ifyou wouldn't mind expanding on
that? Because obviously, we'reboth familiar with that, from
our days of MKP, but just forpeople listening.
Frederick Marx (25:35):
Yeah. So these are ideas that originally
actually come from Carl Jung,the student and disciple of
Sigmund Freud. And then they'vebeen adapted and changed to some
degree in the last 50 years bymodern psychologists. And the
(25:57):
key ones that inform our workwith MKP are Robert Moore, and
Douglas Gillette. And togetherthey wrote a book called King
warrior magician lover. Okay, sothose are the four key
archetypes that they Iidentified. And they exist in
(26:20):
all people. Right? And so Kingbecomes Queen for women, or
let's just make it non genderand call it sovereign. Right. So
how you know how to give athumbnail sketch of these
energies? Well, we all havethem. And the question that for
(26:44):
us to determine is where are weweak? In some areas? And where
are we strong, maybe too strong?
And where are we just right? Andso the key is to have that
balance of just right among allfour energy quadrants. Now, for
me personally, that journey hasmeant discovering that once I
did my initiation, that I'm verystrong in the lover, magician,
(27:10):
axis. Yeah, well, most mkp menare, you know, so lover is like
feelings. sensory experiences,sensual experience, experiences,
magician is all about creativeenergy learning, accumulating
knowledge, etc. But the warriorking axis is, of course, just as
(27:35):
important. And that's where I'vehad to do most of my personal
work over the last 25 years, isstrengthening that warrior king
axis. And for me, that meantpartly bringing my warrior out
of shadow. Because as asensitive feeling, man, I was
not about to express that fullon fierce warrior energy for
(27:58):
fear of offending. Yeah, yeah,people, you know, and then of
course, the sovereign has toguide it all. Yeah. So the
sovereign has to know what isthe the skillful means, right?
to enact the greatest sense ofnurturance, among the whole
(28:22):
village among the wholecommunity. And we and he is, you
know, he, she, that that energyis the force that directs all of
the other energies toward theright goals.
Jeremy Melder (28:37):
So, my understanding, and I agree with
all that you've said, but theidea for the way I view it, and
I might be wrong here Frederickis that, you know, if, if you if
you can stand in the sovereignin the, in the axis, and at any
(28:59):
given time, depending on theneed, you can act, you know,
getting good access to thewarrior or to the lover or the
magician, when needed, if youare, you know, a perfect person,
which I'm definitely not, which.
But that's the ultimate goal, ifhe could achieve that is to be
(29:22):
able to be in that, you know, inthat center, holding the staff
and being able to be that, youknow, king queen, or in the, you
know, an axis is that is thatabout right what we're what our
ultimate goal is.
Frederick Marx (29:40):
Well, yeah, exactly. I mean to be balanced
across all four quadrants. ButI'll tell you one thing since
you mentioned perfect. You know,I have a shadow of perfection,
where I tell myself and shadowI'll just tell your listeners in
case I'm familiar with the term.
You know, it also comes fromJung. It's all of that dark,
(30:03):
geeky stuff that is true aboutwho we are as human beings, but
we hide it. we repress it, wedeny it, we pretend it doesn't
exist. And until we learn toturn and face those shadows and
to accept them and embrace them,and say, yes, this is me, too.
(30:23):
This is me, too. And actuallylove them, and actually utilize
them as energy sources for doingour work in the world, then
we're going to be in bigtrouble. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
So the difference for me, thereare no perfect people. But the
difference for me and highquality people versus a lesser
(30:44):
quality people, if you will, arepeople who know their shadows,
who are deeply familiar withthem, and can keep them in and
clearly in front of them, andare open and transparent about
Yeah, like, I just want to goit's like I got to perfection.
Yeah, yeah, believe the rest ofthe time talking about all my
(31:05):
shadows, but we don't haveenough time.
Jeremy Melder (31:13):
Thanks for sharing that I really
acknowledge that. And now I, I,when I was reading your book, I
was quite touched with whatyou've been through with your
partner, wife, Tracy, when shewas not very well. And I just
(31:35):
wanted to acknowledge you forsharing a little bit about that,
in terms of let me rephrase thatsaid, the way we look at dying,
is, in the Western worldparticularly isn't really that,
in my view, very healthy, wedon't see that as something that
(31:57):
we celebrate. And what I noticedfrom reading the book is that
you did a celebration of Tracy,before she passed away, and
acknowledged her and people cameand sat beside the chair, that
deeply touched me, I just wantedto ask you to speak to that,
(32:20):
because I just don't think inAustralia, perhaps in this in
the United States, we don't doenough of that.
Frederick Marx (32:29):
I agree. And it's one of the things that I've
discovered in the course of mylife as kind of a side mission,
if you will, to promote lifehonoring celebrations, so that
if we know somebody that wedearly love is passing. Why wait
until after they've passed togather and sing their praises.
(32:54):
Let's do it while they're alive,and do it to their face. Yeah.
And so this is what we did forTracy. And, and I've actually
participated in others thatwe've done for other people. And
it's so simple, and it's sodeeply meaningful and rewarding.
And I think that it fills a needin every human being, to know
(33:17):
that the life that I've spenthas been meaningful, and that
whatever gifts that I have, Ihave shared them. And the people
around me have benefited fromthem. So that they're reflecting
that back to me now and saying,Thank you. I'm the woman I am
today because of what you did inmy life. And that's what Tracy
(33:41):
got to hear before she died.
Yeah. So just by the way, youknow, the first book I wrote is
called a destiny was part it'sall about Tracy die.
Jeremy Melder (33:53):
Okay. I'll have to read that. And
Frederick Marx (33:55):
it's about, yeah, it's about my journey
through the grief afterwards.
And so there's an even biggersection in there about the life
honoring celebration that wedid.
Jeremy Melder (34:06):
Yeah, with my partner just lost her mother.
We've been looking after her forprobably the last five years.
And we, you know, did our bestto honor her while she was
alive. But you know, what youdid, I think was worth
mentioning, because I don'tthink we did it as well as we
(34:26):
could have. But we did the bestwe could with what knowledge we
had. One of the things in thebook is about community and I
like the story about the womanwith a dog and about being in
touch with community. Can youunpack that for me about that
story and and the value ofcommunity?
Frederick Marx (34:46):
Well, yeah, and I'll just first say a side note,
you know, in that chapter, youknow, I talked about how
community historically used tobe so geographically determined.
Right, we hopefully, you know, acouple 100 years ago, we knew
all of our neighbors. And wedepended on them. And they
(35:08):
depended on us. And and that wasfundamental to our survival as
individuals. Now, of course, wehave community in so many
different forms. And we can havecommunity like you and I are in
community right now. Rightacross the world, you know. So
(35:29):
Terrence told a beautiful story,that, in a sense is kind of
about old fashioned geographiccommunity, right. So in his
neighborhood, there was an olderwoman who used to walk his dog
every day. And she had recentlymoved to the neighborhood. So he
noticed her, and I think, youknow, would say hello on
(35:50):
passing. And then after a while,he stopped seeing, and so he
grew concerned. And so heactually went and knocked on her
door. And she didn't answer thedoor. And so eventually, they
had to break the door down, andthey went inside, and they found
her passed out. And so, youknow, they call the ambulance,
(36:13):
she went to the hospital, and ithelped to save her life. So, a
week or two after this, youknow, he's seeing her Walker
dog, again, in the neighborhood.
And he says, Don't make me takea switch on you, right. And
that's, that's jargon andAfrican American slang meeting,
(36:34):
you know, take a whip to your,to your behind the discipline
you, you know, Call me, call meand check in with me, here's my
number, here, and my cell, myhome phone, everything, call me
and check in so that I know thatyou're safe. So it's a beautiful
video about how we watch out foreach and I think
Jeremy Melder (36:57):
that's really important. I think that's
something that wyrms arehighlighting that is because I
don't think that's something,particularly in a western world,
that we do very well, like, youknow, we know our neighbors,
because we live in a smallcommunity. But if I was in a
city, and I lived in anapartment block, would I know
(37:17):
all of my neighbors? Most likelynot. So I just think that was a
really lovely story aboutengaging with community. And I
really resonated with that.
Frederick Marx (37:28):
Well, and we can do it, too. I mean, to some
degree, I mean, I live thebuilding where I'm speaking
right now is a three flat. Sothere's three apartments in the
building. So when I was movingin, one of the first things I
did was I went to both of mydownstairs neighbors, introduce
myself, said, here's who I am.
And if I can do anything foryou, when you're out of town,
(37:50):
like taking your mail or walkyour dog, let me know. And vice
versa. So that's Can I agreewith that?
Jeremy Melder (37:59):
Frederick, now, we're going back to mentoring.
And I was again in the book,touched by your mentor, Harold
Ramis, if I'm correctlypronouncing him, Ramis, and you
know, how he's impacted on yourlife as a as a mentor? Would you
(38:20):
like to tell us a little bitmore about that? Because I just
thought it was a lovely story,how he helped you.
Frederick Marx (38:27):
Gosh, there's so many ways I don't think I'll
remember half
Jeremy Melder (38:32):
that okay.
Frederick Marx (38:33):
yeah, so Harold was a mentor, for at least 10
years for me. And part of whatmade him an excellent mentor for
me was that he's a famousfilmmaker. So he knew the whole
filmmaking world. And he knewall of the various challenges
that could come from being inthat career. So so that's one
(39:00):
way, maybe the most superficialway that he helped me, because
when I had problems withpartners, business problems, and
he would help me to sortthrough, first of all, whether
it was important enough to fightfor or not, to maybe just let it
go. And then if it was importantto fight for how to fight for it
(39:24):
most effectively. Well, one ofthe beautiful ways that he
mentored for me was things thathe mentored humility, he modeled
it. He was such a humble man.
And this is a man who has knownthe world over Yeah, as an
actor, a writer and director andwas a famous man. And yet when
(39:44):
when he was on my board, and wewould have due to my very bad
planning and bad judgment, wewould have board meetings in
Chicago in December in themiddle of Winter. And so he
would have to drive from 30miles north of town in the
(40:04):
suburbs where he lived throughthe snow, and the freezing
temperatures to get to where wewere having the meetings, and he
would do it. And he would nevercomplain or say a thing about
it. So that was something elsethat he did. Gosh, I feel bad
because it's been so long sinceI, I read my own.
Jeremy Melder (40:29):
But that's okay.
No, but I just remember himbeing quite instrumental in
guiding you in specially in thefilm, but also in your life, I
felt felt some resonance therethat he was very, very much a
guiding light for you. And Ijust wanted to say that, that I
felt that by reading that. So Ijust wanted to touch on that if
he wanted to.
Frederick Marx (40:52):
Well, I'm just gonna add another point that I
do remember now from my own blogabout him. Honor the teacher,
right, honor the mentor. Andwhen I knew he was dying, I knew
that he was in such bad shapethat it was difficult for him
even to get on the phone. Sowhat I did was when I wrote him,
(41:17):
I just wrote him and I waseffusive with the ways that he
had made me a better man. I toldhim that So in a sense, I gave
him my own little mini lifehonoring celebration. That's
great, right to tell him how heimpacted my life, and made it
better. Yeah. These areimportant things that we need to
do with our mental. Absolutely,
Jeremy Melder (41:37):
absolutely. Now I haven't, this is something that
I noticed that you've justyou've you've finished a film
that it's talking about returnsoldiers, and they're coming
home and how it seems a bitinadequate in terms of when they
come home. And as to how they'relooked after. Now, I, you know,
(42:02):
my brother in law lives inOakland in San Francisco, and I
visited him and going to SanFrancisco in the town, I saw so
many vets on the streets. And Iwas quite I was I was quite
saddened by it. Because I justthought these people have put
(42:26):
their life on the lines and youknow, done something, what they
believe for their country. And,yeah, I feel that they need
more. And I agree with you. AndI could fill in that short video
clip that you had on there. Icould feel the anger and rage
(42:50):
that was coming out about notbeing a particularly from a
black persons perspective.
Frederick Marx (42:55):
Oh, exactly.
Right. Yeah. Well, first of all,bless you, you know, for you
know, having your heart be soopen to these men and women who
you're absolutely right, servetheir country. And now here they
are living on the streets, andbegging for some of them. And
it's it's heartbreaking. And bythe way, I live in Oakland. So I
(43:20):
see homeless vets almost all thetime. And yes, there are more in
San Francisco. But there'splenty of Oakland too. So one of
the things that my film makesclear, and by the way, it's five
films, it's actually a five filmseries called veterans journey
home. Yep, is that veterans arestuck in the middle of a rite of
(43:45):
passage. And the military doesnot give them what it is that
they need in order tosuccessfully transition back
into civilian life. Because whatthey need is a psychic and
emotional homecoming. They needthat final stage three of the
(44:07):
archetype of initiation, whichI'll just say, is usually the
first stage of separation, whichthey go through when their heads
are shaved, and they're inductedinto the military and taught how
to act and think as a unit andfor their brothers and sisters
(44:28):
and not for themselves. Right.
That's a beautiful lesson inmany ways, right? And we all
need that lesson. The secondthing is ordeal is service. They
go overseas, and you know, theysee death. They see death, you
know, either up close andpersonal or at arm's removed, bu
(44:54):
they also experience all kindof sense of betrayal and loss
And this is dramatic too. And icould come in the form of the
unintentionally kill women anchildren. Or it could come i
the form of their buddy dies itheir arms, and they fee
responsible for not preventintheir death could come in
(45:18):
million different forms, buthey carry this psychic an
emotional burden. Yeah, frowhat they've done. And then wha
happens, they go home, thmilitary says thank you for you
service. Good luck, soldier. Anthat's it. Nobody teaches the
how to let go of the psychic anemotional burdens. So the fil
(45:38):
series highlights the ways thawe as community can com
together to support veterans, thold them through thi
transition back home, so thathey can and what has t
symbolically happen is that was civilians, need to take th
(46:00):
burden off of their shoulderswhatever they're carrying, an
put it on us on the collectionAnd together, we hold tha
burden, so that they don't havto suffer it alone. And so tha
they're not driven bnightmares, and driven int
alcoholism and drug abuse anhomelessness, etc. Trying t
fight off those demons. No, winvite the demons out. And w
(46:23):
say we'll hold them with youOh, that's what the films ar
about. Fantastic
Jeremy Melder (46:29):
And you're trying to get them released. Is that
right? You're looking forsomeone to
Frederick Marx (46:36):
Well, we're finishing the last two right
now. But the first three havebeen out for about a year now.
And we've entered them. We'vewon screenings in about 23
festivals, and one two BestDocumentary awards. So we're
slowly getting them out. Butobviously with COVID, it's not
(46:58):
easy. But yeah, we're gettingdistribution. And in fact, if
any of your listeners know waysto bring these films to
Australia, please reach out tous
Jeremy Melder (47:08):
now coming to role of leaders. In your book,
you say that today's world is indire circumstances, much of the
exploitation, environmentaldestruction, racism, sexism, and
warfare are a function of anuninitiated, men, suspended in
(47:31):
positions of leadership. Andit's funny, I was having a
conversation about this withanother friend of mine that said
that our world is run by men,but they're really children or
teenagers. What are yourthoughts?
Frederick Marx (47:50):
I couldn't agree more. Yeah, there are teacher
teenagers and adult clothing.
Yeah. And, you know, one of thequotes that I have in the book
is from Robert Bly, whoconsidered one of the
foundational members of the socalled men's movement, which
started in the early 80s. In theUnited States. And Robert says,
you know, in Africa, It'sunthinkable that somebody could
(48:16):
become president of the countrywithout first being initiated.
And, you know, it just rings sotrue. Because if you're not
initiated, you're not going toknow the value of human life.
You're not going to know it. Andunless you know, the value of
(48:36):
human life, you're going to makereally bad decisions about
sending men and women off. Yeah,to fight wars that maybe
shouldn't be fought at all.
Jeremy Melder (48:51):
Yeah, I mean, we could talk about leaders in
quite a few countries. you'vehad a few challenges yourself.
Frederick Marx (49:02):
I was gonna say we've got the most dysfunctional
one on wall right. Yeah. So and,it's interesting, too, that in
the book I also talk aboutRobert said Robert Bly, again,
men act out in dysfunctionalways because they unconsciously
seek their Father's blessing.
And look at Donald Trump. Solately, yeah. Here's a man who
(49:27):
was probably shamed andhumiliated from the time he was
born by his own father. And allhe's trying to do is in effect
live up to daddy's good gracesand get that blessing. And
George Bush I think was hardlyany different.
Jeremy Melder (49:48):
Yeah. Now I agree with that. It's, it's, it's it's
blaringly obvious, but it's it'sa shame that we've got Well,
there's two weeks to go. Isn'tthere?
Frederick Marx (49:59):
We are counting down every minute,
Jeremy Melder (50:05):
yes, there's been so many lives lost through this
COVID-19. And people have reallyhad a hard, hard year or it's
still going on in the UnitedStates. And you know, that's
also a part of, I would say, theleadership that could have
hopefully curtailed this insomewhat and what I'm feeling
blessed that I live inAustralia, and there's, you
(50:28):
know, as not not as much of animpact as you got you in America
have experience. But I do, youknow, pour my heart out to
Americans that are doing ittough, as I'm sure there are
people doing it tough all overthe world right now. But
Frederick, I really want tothank you for being on Beaming
(50:49):
Green.
Frederick Marx (50:56):
you're most welcome. Yeah, thank you. It's
my pleasure. I mean, I get to Iget to share what excites me and
what I'm passionate about. Andso thank you, thank you.
Jeremy Melder (51:07):
And I hope that our listeners will download the
book or buy the book, can youtell us about how they can
access it, I'll put a link tothis in the show notes, and also
some of the films that you'vedone so that they can have a
look, and maybe elaborate on howthey can also support you.
Frederick Marx (51:26):
Well, thank you for that question. Yeah. So the
book is available around theworld on Amazon, you know, what
isn't? And so, yeah, you can,it's called Rites To A Good
Life, or RITES. And the subtitleis Everyday Rituals of Healing
and Transformation. And rightnow, we're sort of doing a sneak
(51:49):
preview or advanced sales. Sowe're only selling it for $1.
Because I'm still making veryslight changes to the book. in
about three or four months,we'll have the audio book out.
And we'll also have the hardcopybook out. So as for the films
and everything else, I do go towarrior films.org. And as for
(52:16):
how you can support us, youknow, we're a nonprofit company.
So that means we survive largelythrough donations. So if your
call to donate great, you know,we welcome it, you can click on
our website, it's very easy. Ifyou simply just want to get
updates from me. I welcome that,too. I send out newsletters
(52:40):
almost once a month. And inthose newsletters, we give away
about 80% of what we do. So thatmeans all the short films, all
the blogs, excerpts frompublished articles, and
sometimes excerpts from the longfilms. So and I always make it
(53:01):
frankly, upbeat, and meaningful.
So we do that once a month. Andand then. So all I ask is you
just simply give us your nameand an email address. And you're
good It's a very simple process.
Jeremy Melder (53:15):
And I highly recommend the book. But as I as
I just said earlier that Ifinished the book just
yesterday. And there's lots ofhandy hints there for anyone
that's wanting to get into thistype of work. But there's just
for Australian listeners, thereis MKP in Australia. And there's
(53:39):
also a sister organizationcalled Women for Women. That's
also operational in Queensland.
Frederick Marx (53:48):
Yeah, but first, let me actually mention too,
that there is a number oforganizations to that initiated
mentor. Oh, boy. Uh huh.
Jeremy Melder (53:56):
You know, you're serious. Yeah.
Frederick Marx (53:57):
And you know, the name is better than I can
even
Jeremy Melder (54:00):
spoken with Arne Rubenstein previously, who also
does read rites of passage innorthern New South Wales. And
he's been interviewed on episodesix, I think it was. But yeah,
he's he right?
Frederick Marx (54:18):
Yeah, I love Arne. So, yeah, just simply go
to mkp.org. That's the publicface of our organization. And
you'll find all kinds of thingsthere that I think are of
tremendous use and value, notonly to men, actually, but to
(54:39):
women, too, so that they canbegin to understand men all that
much more deeply andmeaningfully.
Jeremy Melder (54:46):
Yeah. Well, once again, Frederick Marx thank you
for being on Beaming Green.
Thank you for being part of theBeaming Green podcast. The music
for this podcast is produced byDave Weir. We need more people
to get on board and raiseawareness about sustainability
(55:06):
and climate change. The more ofus that are shining the light on
these issues, the moregovernments and businesses will
listen. We would love you tosubscribe to our podcast and
share and engage in social mediaso that we can get some
(55:27):
traction. Let us support oneanother and envision a future
thanks for listening and see younext time.
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