Episode Transcript
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tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (00:00):
was
explaining what happened.
And I'm like What kind of a sickbitch takes the ice cube trays
out of the freezer?
And Jim Cameron's like, say thatin this next scene
john_3_01-01-2025_12105 (00:08):
Welcome
back to the Beans to Billion
podcast.
I'm John Kaufman, and today I'vegot someone who's lived a life
that's as outrageous as it isinspiring.
He's an actor, comedian, writer,producer, and somebody who's
seen the top, the bottom, andeverything in between.
Tom Arnold.
Now, Tom's story isn't justabout Hollywood glitz and
glamour.
It's about grit, resilience, andknowing how to grab attention,
(00:31):
sometimes in the wildest ways.
From growing up in small townIowa, climbing to fame alongside
his former wife, Roseanne Barr,working alongside Arnold
Schwarzenegger, and navigatingfame and tabloids, his life has
been a rollercoaster of epicproportions.
We're going to talk about Tom'sjourney from being raised by a
(00:51):
single dad and working in thekill room of a meatpacking
plant, to working with some ofHollywood's biggest names.
Plus, we'll dive into theinfamous Jenny Craig story.
Where he and Roseanne ended upgaining weight instead of losing
it and lost millions.
We'll talk about things like hisjourney into single parenthood
and how it's changed him for thebetter.
(01:12):
Good morning.
You came from Iowa?
A small town with a big family?
Can you tell me a little bitabout, you know, what it was
like growing up?
Like, kind of what your startreally looked like?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (01:22):
Well,
it's a while.
It was a farm town.
It's a big businesses ofmeatpacking plant there.
Formal meatpacking plant.
And, uh, everybody, you know,work there.
You know, it's their goal.
You go to high school, thenhopefully get a job there.
Okay, guys.
They had benefits.
(01:42):
It was a good job.
It was a good job in our town.
I wanted to go to college, so Ihad to work there for three
years after college on the killfloor, um, to save enough money
to go to the University of Iowa,because I thought if I get to
the University of Iowa, theyhave a stage there and man, if I
get on that stage and, uh, youknow, I want to be a standup
(02:03):
comedian and I get out of thatstage, I'll be on TV in six
weeks.
And everybody in my hometownwill love me, which turns out
not to be true.
Right.
Yeah, You know, I was highlymotivated, crazy, and I knew
what I wanted to do.
I knew it since my dad.
I'm a single dad.
My kids are 11, which is why Igot no sleep last night, but in
(02:28):
the old days, I got no sleepbecause I was having fun.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (02:31):
yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (02:31):
on
high alert, they got friends
over.
No, you never know.
You might have to drive a friendhome at one in the morning.
If I get to ask each other, um,but.
You know, I, uh, I'd alwaysdreamed of being, and it's a
weird thing to dream, but youknow where I'm from, but our dad
was a single dad when he was 22.
(02:53):
Uh, I was four, my sister wasthree and my brother was one.
That was a big job.
And, uh, we used to tease himthat he was boring because he
worked at the plant and camehome.
And, and now that I'm a singledad, I'm like, Oh, how the hell
did he do that?
That's crazy.
Um,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (03:09):
I know
the feeling I was a single dad
for like a long time since mykids were you know in diapers
And it's a it's a rough thing attimes, but it's super rewarding,
right?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (03:18):
Very
rewarding.
I mean, if I think of thesacrifices I've made, I've made
no sacrifices.
I sacrificed being lonely, beingunhappy, being, not being
unconditionally loved.
I had to sacrifice that, youknow, and, uh, I find it, even
the minutia of it, very, uh,interesting and entertaining and
(03:42):
learning who these kids are andwhat, you know, protecting them,
but also trying to figure outwho they really are and try to
facilitate that.
So.
You know, they're, they'regrowing up.
Uh, I do miss the baby time.
I'm going to tell you, you haveright here, right here,
everything.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (03:59):
Yeah,
I get that.
Mine are teenagers now I've gota one that's 16 and one that's
18 about to be 19 both girls andthey're They're a handful of
times.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (04:09):
know,
people say, uh, with my
daughter, who's nine and my bestfriend, my son used to be my
best friend, but then he got hisFortnite buddies and I'll walk,
I'll walk into my own house.
I'll go, Hey son.
He's like, dad, please, please.
I don't want my friends to hearyou.
Okay.
All right.
What the hell is that?
And then I'll come in thekitchen later.
(04:29):
Cause his friends, his people.
Picture on the internet of meand Tupac or something.
One of the things we did It'llbe like daddy.
We say hi to my friends.
I'm like, hell no about sayinghi to your friends You guys got
me all the time one way or theother i'm cool all the time or
i'm not talking to you but mydaughter is uh, she Loves to
(04:51):
hang out with me.
She loves to go with the CVSwhen you're my age you go to cvs
and had uh, just fun and we havea really interesting
relationship She's But you know,when she asks me a question, I
think about the answer becauseshe, that question she's asking
me, whatever it is she's thoughtabout that question.
It doesn't necessarily mean whatyou think of it.
(05:14):
This is something that she'sthought.
And uh, so, you know, that's,it's great.
And uh, I haven't had a date inseven years, but if I do, I have
four ex wives, so And you canhave three X files and still
kind of go, yeah, that's crazy.
But
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (05:33):
at
some point you're learning
you're learning, huh?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (05:35):
if
you have four, you go, holy
hell.
It's me.
It's me a hundred percent.
So, so I have paced myself, butI will say, uh, if I ever do
date again, that that woman willbe the beneficiary of my
daughter and I's relationship,because I am much more patient
than I ever thought I could be.
I do things that, uh, on paperseem like I will not like this.
(06:00):
Whatever this game is,Squishmallows makes no sense,
but I play and then I learned tolove
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (06:07):
Yeah,
absolutely
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_ (06:08):
That's
key things.
Um,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (06:10):
you
spend your time being like your
life trying to be manly rightand then you have a little girl
and next thing You know, you'rewearing a weird wig or you know
playing fairy princesses on thefloor.
It's it's insane.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (06:21):
but
I also find that our son, my son
is a big dude.
He's this much taller thaneverybody else.
You see his football pictures Ipost of it.
And, uh, you know, um, he, he,he's still a baby.
He's big.
He's a big guy.
It But my daughter is.
(06:42):
You know, I'm so great when Ihad my son, I thought I'd been
given everything.
That's above and beyond anythingI'd ever prayed for anything.
There he is, you know, comes outand, uh, they did a C section on
his mother.
He comes out and I'm rightthere.
I look at him and it'sunconditional love at that
point.
(07:03):
And I realized I could be a crapdad.
This kid was still up.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (07:07):
Mm
hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (07:07):
I
might as well be a really good
dad.
And I knew early on because ofthis marriage, I would say that
I was going to be, I was like, Ibetter get my shit together
because I'm going to be raisingthese kids or so I could just
the vibe in the house.
So, you know, that's, you know,every day I get up and I go,
what, I got to work on mysobriety, my mental health,
(07:30):
whatever, you know, and then I,I, start the day.
And so there's some days aroundhere.
That I am not happy.
There are days when.
You know, I get a littleoverloaded or I'm going to court
with their mom again, or the15th, 16th time.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (07:47):
Mm hmm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (07:47):
but
I, I, before I leave my bedroom,
I look in the mirror and I put asmile on my face.
And sometimes, later in the day,I look in the mirror and I've
still got the smile on my face.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (07:57):
Mm
hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (07:57):
You
can't, I can't, my kids have
seen the bad behavior by adults,by one adult, I just, you know,
I just don't do that.
I guess,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (08:09):
don't
you don't want to be the one
that they look back and go.
Oh my god Why was he in my life?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (08:14):
I
just, probably if you told
people ten years ago, you know,Tom Arnold is going to be the
stable one, the stable wherepeople may not have believed in
him.
I am.
And so it's important that Iprotect him from the, the worst
things, uh uh, and uh, so far sogood.
When my son's like, daddy, whydon't you have a Lambo?
(08:36):
I go, I could have a Lambo, butI got you guys seven years ago
of court and it was veryexpensive.
It's ongoing.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (08:43):
Yeah,
you are the Lambo kid, right?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (08:46):
Yeah,
that that's right.
That's right.
But my daughter's like.
Daddy, how old will you be whenI go to college?
I'm like, uh, 75.
She's like, I'm not going tocollege.
I go, that's my girl.
That is my girl.
So this teenage thing, friendsare worried.
She'll hate you when she's ateenager.
And I'm like, I will be senilewhen she's a teenager.
(09:06):
I won't even notice her.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (09:08):
It
won't be my problem, right?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (09:10):
Yeah,
yeah, so it's it's good.
We take it a day at a timearound here, and I will say this
having a It's not a highconflict divorce.
We've been divorced for a longtime.
I've never called the police onher Yeah, it's a lot
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (09:28):
the
same with all your exes I've
heard
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (09:31):
Yeah,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (09:31):
not
the same with all your exes.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (09:33):
no,
and she's a Files all these
things in court and, uh, uh, youknow, uh, it is a, what is
called post separation of legalabuse is where somebody is the
legal system to just keepattacking, like that's their
thing.
And I, the, they eventuallyyou're in court and they get a
(09:54):
court psychologist to checkpeople out.
What is the deal?
Uh, you know, I thought it mightbe drugs, uh, or, uh, you know,
bipolar.
I'm not for me with that.
Whatever.
And the lady came back and said,well, it's good news.
She's not a psychopath who wantsto murder you.
I'm like, that is good news.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (10:16):
That's
helpful.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (10:17):
he's
a sociopath who wants other
people to murder you.
Okay.
Narcissistic sociopath.
So narcissistic sociopathdoesn't seem like two words that
would go along.
They'd go together.
And.
When, when I originally heardthe term narcissist, I thought,
what, maybe that's me because Iget up on stage in front of
people perform and movies.
(10:38):
And, you know, on live TV, geez,you gotta be kind of a
narcissist for that.
But it's a, it's a real, uh,diagnosis.
It's different than that.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (10:48):
Yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (10:49):
the
great thing I said to the judge,
well, what could I do aboutthis?
And, and, and she's like,nothing.
I go, Oh, well, what will she doabout it?
She was like, she won't doanything.
But there are, you could, thereare signs, there are, um, you
know, you can tell whensomething's going to happen.
You just get a feeling like,okay, here's what she's going to
(11:09):
do.
She's going to do this, call thepolice, file a restraining
order.
Then we go to court, settle it.
And, uh, it is sort of likethat.
It's very, uh, we're in themiddle of a trial now, finally.
Usually she files my stuff.
I go into court, judge dismissesit all every time, but we're
still paid to ask because yougot to.
Repair.
Someone said, you know, one timeshe filed 145 attempts of court
(11:34):
against each one is five days ofjail.
And there were things like twominutes late for FaceTime,
whatever.
And, you know, it takesmeticulous.
Well, I have to rigorouslydefend those 145 days, which
takes a lot of money.
And then even though it getsthrown out of court.
just in case because it'sinvolving my Children.
(11:55):
And, um, you know, so that'skind of what, you know, my mom
growing up just left like shewas out.
She was 16, but I was 18 when Igot married and she's like,
Yeah, I'm not maternal.
I'm gonna I'm out, which waswhich was hard, but also great
that she did that.
You know, so they are mostgrateful for the thing I'm
(12:15):
maddest about is she took off.
The thing I'm most grateful foris that she took off.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (12:20):
hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (12:21):
had
to be solid, you know,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (12:24):
and
like how do you think like that
affected your drive to like kindof You Go out, be the stand up
guy, kind of be, you know,somebody who sought, you know,
the fame and the fortune and allthat kind of stuff that you did.
You know,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (12:38):
well,
you know, it was kind of crazy,
but the only time we ever heardour dad really laugh really loud
was when there was a Bob Hopespecial on Bob Hope was comedian
back in the day.
And he had these specials.
He'd go to Vietnam and entertainthe troops or Korea or Germany
and take pretty women with him.
And sort of tell double entendrejokes.
(12:58):
And that's what my dad loved.
We'd hear him downstairs.
Just busted a gut.
And I've ever said, whatever itis that Bob Hope does.
That's what I'm going to do.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (13:08):
mm
hmm,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (13:09):
One
of the first things I did, I
moved here in 1988 to January towrite the Roseanne show.
But, uh, one of the first thingsI did, we got a writer strike
right away.
So first thing I did was a BobHope special and, uh, It was a
Robin Hood sketch.
We were in tights, but whatever.
Uh, Bob Hope, uh, called my dadand signed a whole bunch of
(13:31):
stuff for him.
It was just great.
And, uh, and the real magic ismy dad in the same living room
on the same TV that he used towatch Bob Hope when I was a kid
is now watching his son standnext to Bob Hope.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (13:44):
yeah,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (13:45):
And
so that's kind of a miraculous
thing.
So that, when that happened, I'mlike, okay, that's it.
No more, no more goals.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (13:52):
mm
hmm,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (13:53):
Okay,
I can go back.
But, um, you know, you gotta,you gotta do what you gotta do.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (13:59):
yeah.
And, like, how did you adjust,like, going from, you know,
small town guy working in ameatpacking plant, Um, I heard
you worked at McDonald's, youknow,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (14:08):
I
did.
I really, I really likedMcDonald's.
And I did that at college inIowa City.
Uh, the University of Iowa is agreat school, and it's a great
school, they had a greatwriter's workshop, which I, uh,
sat, sat in the back of thatroom many times.
Great people.
You know, Kurt Bodega was upthere, and David Milch, and just
(14:29):
a, just a bunch of reallycreative guys.
And I found out later, they weretalking about why they go to
Iowa.
Uh, you know, they, they livewherever they live, East Coast,
whatever.
Why would they go to Iowa forthe semester or the summer?
And they said, it's the women.
It's the women.
(14:49):
Because, uh, Iowa women are veryforward.
Like, there's, you see, you'dthink they wouldn't be.
But they, but they are.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (14:56):
you
grew up on a farm.
You see all the cows and thechickens and everything doing
their business.
They're like, Hey, we know whatthis is about, right?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (15:02):
Yeah.
you say, hey, I think I'd liketo do that with you.
And you're like, okay, tell mewhat to do.
So it was very forward, even oursports, you know, uh, uh, the,
the women's basketball, uh,state tournament drew way more
people than the men's basketballstate tournament.
And you can finally see that infruition with Caitlin Clark and
(15:23):
some of these other, uh, womenwho, you know, it was always a
big thing.
It wasn't like people think,well, I was sort of that culture
where there's the man and thewoman and got her dress and she
cooked all the food and doingall this stuff and that's what
she does.
So.
But from my experience, it wasnot like that.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (15:41):
Yeah.
So, so how do you transition outof that into like Hollywood?
Like, how was that mentally foryou?
Like, was that a hard transitionfor you?
Or was it like super easy,barely inconvenient, so to
speak?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (15:52):
I
think I always believed it was
going to happen.
I just believe that, but afteron my third year, being back in
plan, you know, I'm lookingaround, there's people happy
there.
How are they freaking happyhere?
And I realized they havefamilies, they have families and
this is their job.
And it was a good job for ourtown, but it wasn't like their
life.
(16:12):
Like they appreciate it.
They're happy.
I'm like, yeah.
Well, maybe, maybe if I don'tget out of here and I just
figure out a way to be happy,get married or
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (16:21):
mhm,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (16:22):
my
grandpa worked for 50 years and
it's a pork processing plant,you know, we're Jewish, but
that's what we do.
we do whatever.
And then I started thinking,maybe you can't get to Hollywood
from Ohio.
Maybe it's, you know,physiologically possible.
Maybe there's no way to do that.
And we were at our local disco,the Jailhouse.
(16:45):
Disco Disco just got to aTumble, Iowa, and this it was a
fun place until my parents andtheir friends started going down
there and line dancing and thenit was over for us.
That was it.
Uh, so I walk out there outside.
Uh, it closes time and I seeAndy Kaufman standing on the
(17:05):
street there.
Andy Kaufman is a great
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (17:07):
mhm,
yeah, one of the best ever, grew
up watching him,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (17:10):
Yeah,
he was on a taxi at the time and
I went up to him and said, Whatdo you, how'd you, how'd you get
here?
He said, well, 20 miles down theroad there's a, in Fairfield,
Uh, there's MaharishiInternational University and I,
I've been there studyingTranscendental Meditation.
And I came down to your townbecause there's a women's
wrestling event.
Yeah.
at the Coliseum, and I've beenwrestling women.
(17:33):
That's part of my act now.
So I went up there, he paid thewomen to stay late, wrestle with
him, to train with him.
And then he took everybody inthe audience on school buses to
Happy Joe's.
Happy Joe's Pizza is a very goodpizza, but he loaded everybody
up.
And I remember thinking, I wantto do that.
I want to be so successful thatI can take everybody to the
(17:55):
office to Happy Joe's Pizza.
That seems like.
That's the whole run and thefact he got to where I was
proved that I could get where hewas,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (18:04):
Before
we dive back in, I'm going to
let the listeners know aboutsomething real quick.
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goals, overcome objections, andlearn how to become a better
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(18:25):
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On Amazon or anywhere books aresold.
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tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (18:47):
That
encouraged me and then I ended
up have making enough money togo to Iowa and ended up up there
and You know it things didn'thappen as fast as I would have
wanted but I also was like infor whatever happened I was in
for a Working for free, uh, for,you know, sleeping on couch.
(19:09):
I was in for whatever.
I just loved every part of whatI did.
Every part of being a comedian.
And after,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (19:18):
a
passion for it then, yeah,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (19:20):
yeah,
well, at Minneapolis since the
time had five comedy clubs.
So I moved from, uh, what reallyhappened is these real
comedians, Minneapolis werecoming down.
I would open for them.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (19:30):
mhm,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (19:30):
All
my buddies be there.
We, we drink, uh, Uh, uh, whenEverclear, uh, hot switches,
powdered Gatorade and Everclearmixed, scrabbled up, a pretty
smoked drink.
We drink that.
My friends would laugh and laughwhen I was up there.
And I get on stage and we allleave, 50 of us, to finish
partying out, out in the street.
(19:51):
And the comedy club owner fromMinneapolis said, Hey, next
time, if you could get yourbuddies to stay for the real
show.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (19:58):
mhm,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (19:59):
We'll
give you a job at a comedy club.
I'm like, God.
So we did, they stayed.
I got on a bus, I had a trashbag with clothes in it and a
hundred bucks, took a bus up toMinneapolis, went right to the
comedy club
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (20:15):
mhm,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (20:15):
I
knock on the door and say, Hey,
I don't have a car or driver'slicense, various reasons.
So I need to live very close tohere.
Uh, and he's like, Whoa.
What do you mean?
Did you move here?
I go, yeah, I moved here.
Cause You offer me a job becauseyeah, that job is one weekend
for 15.
(20:36):
I'm like, oh I quit school.
I got to pay it.
So I walked,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (20:40):
the
hand just a little bit there,
huh?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (20:43):
I
walked to the nearest bar, uh,
Wibb's pub.
It was a great bar up there andmet a waitress who was looking
for a roommate and they werelooking to hire somebody there
to be a bouncer or whatever.
And so I just, uh, startedliving there and started.
You know, doing the clubs andthe open mics.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (21:03):
So how
hard was it for you like when
you started going like toactually get that first paid
gig, right?
I mean, that's got to be likethe dream, not just to get up
and do it for free, even thoughthat's what you love.
But like, at some point, youknow, you got to get paid for
this, right?
Like how hard was that?
Like the objections and thepushback you had to overcome?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (21:22):
Well,
you know, there's several
things.
This is a 1983, 1988.
That's why I lived inMinneapolis.
I worked at first Avenue.
It's a club where when I gotthere, they're filming Purple
Rain.
And, uh, Prince is out there alot, a lot of it on music
people.
I mean, it was a scene and, uh,you had extra ways.
(21:43):
You could MC stuff and.
Get paid a little bit here, alittle bit there.
Um, you know, starting to figureout ways to get paid, to do
things, to do shows, to do alittle writing for commercials.
And I still worked at a Devani'ssandwich shop.
I still did that.
And, but I just sensed that oneof these days I'll be making 50,
(22:04):
000 a year.
That was my whole goal.
And that seemed like so muchmoney.
Um, but but I became a realwriter.
Uh, When in 1983, when I was 23,Roseanne Barr, who was 30, uh,
Linda Denver, very funnycomedian.
(22:25):
The guy that booked the club,the Minneapolis said, Hey, I've
met a woman in Denver.
She's very funny.
I want you guys to worktogether.
I think you guys would be theball weekend.
And, uh, she came in and she wasamazing.
And, and, uh, we got along verywell.
In fact, the MC.
This woman named Liz Winstead,who's still on TV.
She started the daily show.
(22:45):
That's one of her things,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (22:46):
Okay.
Got it.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (22:47):
she
was the MC.
And I, we said, I said, Hey, canwe borrow your car for a little
bit?
And we don't have a car.
She said, okay.
And then we're gone for theweekend.
They're gone out partying.
And, uh, it was great fun.
And, uh, you know, she had afamily back in Los Angeles.
She had kids, which I thoughtwas cool.
And we, we get together a coupleof months ago on the road.
(23:09):
And, uh, I started, she, sheasked me if I would write jokes
for her, for her character.
And I knew her character verywell, so I started writing
jokes.
And she would do these jokes onJohnny Carson when she went on
there.
I'd watch it, very satisfying.
And then she had a 87, she hadan HBO special and asked me if I
would play her husband.
(23:30):
And I said, sure, I'll play,that'll be fun.
And, uh, and then the show, theRoseanne show started.
And she said, you have to writeit, you know my voice more than
anyone.
So.
I, I was a standup comedian.
Now I'm a writer, like legitwriter.
Okay, I'll do that.
That's the job available.
I'll do it.
It was a much more be, be betterpaying job than what I was
(23:53):
doing.
Standup.
john_3_01-01-2025_1210 (23:53):
Probably
more than the 50,000 year you
had a goal in, right.
so,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (23:57):
50
a week.
Yeah.
And, and that moved up.
And at first, you know, I was,uh, the thing I knew was her
character.
The thing I knew was, uh, Ididn't know about how the ins
and out of show business and uh,but I knew it was her show and.
What she wanted was going tohappen.
And there was some resistancewithin the writer's room.
(24:20):
And, uh, I was very blunt.
I go, I don't know how to handleall this, but we're going to do
what she wants.
But what we'll do is we'll,she'll say what she wants.
We'll make it better than that.
That's what this is.
No, not going to be a powerthing between the old executive
producer and her.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (24:37):
Yeah.
Mm-hmm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (24:38):
you
know, it lets the people go.
And then it brought in a bunchof comics that I know from all
the United States, very people,Norm McDonald, Drake, say there
a whole bunch of comics that Iknew were funny and different.
And, and I just thought aboutright, the, the, half hour
script for the sitcom script forBeautiful Existence.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (25:01):
Yeah.
And that was like literally thebiggest show on TV back then.
Like every, we all watched it.
I mean, it was appointment tv.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (25:08):
Well,
uh, the second season of the
Roseanne show, the, the writersare like, dude, if we were a
couple, then I'd, I'd moved outthere with my fiancee from
Minneapolis and she was goingthrough a divorce.
So I moved out there and thenthat didn't work out.
And then Roseanne came up andsaid, Hey, listen, nobody likes
(25:28):
either one of us.
We should get married.
I'm like, yeah, that's a goodidea.
So we're a couple.
This is a tabloid.
They said you should appear onthe episode.
A lot of people will watch that.
And, uh, I did.
I was very nervous actingbecause now I'm an actor, you
know, end up writer.
And, uh, she helped me withthat.
Gave me a one great tip, whichis anytime you walk into a room,
(25:52):
walk in balls first.
That's a room.
So walk in.
That was a, that was a good tipfor me to hear.
john_3_01-01-2025_121 (25:59):
Basically
just go in and own it.
Right.
Like takeover.
Mm-hmm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (26:03):
48
million people watched that
episode.
Now, 48 million people don'twatch, uh, Maybe the Superbowl,
but if you get four peoplewatching your show now, you got
to hit, so it was a differenttime.
Uh, it was a lot of fun.
It, you know, got to work, gotto hire all these great writers,
got to work it with great actorsworking, you know, I did it six
(26:25):
years, uh, very grateful for allthat stuff.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (26:30):
One
thing that always fascinates me
about kind of that period ofyour life is like, you know, you
could not turn on a TV.
You couldn't open up a paper.
You couldn't walk to the grocerystore, pass a tabloid stands,
uh, 365 days a year.
Your name, your face andRoseanne's name and face was in
front of you.
Like you guys just owned themedia cycle back then, like just
(26:55):
massive amounts of attention.
Yeah.
Was that intentional or was thatjust kind of a by product of
being kind of crazy at the time
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (27:02):
in
the eighties, the first time we
were at the national choir, andwe're like, Oh my God, we're in
the, it's so great.
And so we started playing alongwith them.
I'd give my, we were havingissues on the show, uh, one of
the guys, I wanted him to quit,writers.
And so I gave that story to themand we thought, oh, we're
(27:22):
controlling this.
We really are in charge of thisnarrative.
And that's, that ends quicklybecause they, then they'll go at
you.
Their way of keeping you isgoing at you.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (27:34):
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (27:35):
And
so, you know, things happen.
My, uh, I'd written some lettersto Roseanne that are the stack
of letters and.
They're in my suitcase, mybriefcase.
And they disappeared from myoffice and suddenly they printed
in the star tabloid.
And so we got a private eye downthere to find out how that
(27:56):
happened and how the, you know,I probably shouldn't have
brought them to work, butthey're one of my files.
And it turned out my assistant,who was just this great woman,
had stolen them because, uh, shedidn't have enough money to feed
her horse or something.
And, uh, we, we got to court,then we sued, uh, them, the
(28:17):
Inquirer, the Star, and we wonthis big lawsuit, which, that
you never win with those guys,because first, and I won enough
to get a Bentley Turbo, and thenthe best thing we won was they
couldn't print any stories aboutus for two and a half years.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (28:31):
Oh,
wow.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (28:31):
Yeah,
unless we said, okay, print this
story.
So, games a little recreative.
Get on some other stuff.
And, um, you know, but it wasexciting time.
And, and,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (28:42):
Mm
hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (28:43):
then
we broke up in, uh, April 1994
and I lost my job that day.
Of course, you know, it was likeBeyonce and my job same day.
Uh, uh, we were married, butsame thing.
Uh, and, uh, but, uh, JimCameron and Arnold
(29:04):
Schwarzenegger said, oh, fuckthose people, you know, there is
there, people were saying, Ihave no talent.
I wrote a co test.
I'll be back in Iowa in twoweeks.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (29:14):
Yeah.
I always kind of wonder, like,how do you kind of deal with
that?
Because like, there was thisperception back then, right?
That, you know, even though youwere a writer, you'd been with
her from the start, that youjust kind of like showed up and,
you know, were only somebodybecause of her, which I mean,
your career after that hasclearly borne that, that that
was not true.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (29:34):
For
people, it's easy for people to
make those assumptions andjudgments.
And I've probably done thatbefore, too.
You can't believe two talentedpeople would be together.
There's always one, and thenthere's sort of the hanger on.
And, and people are saying,he'll be back in Iowa in two
weeks.
And I'm like, yeah, that'sprobably true.
I probably will be back in Iowain two weeks.
And I'll have great stories formy grandkids.
(29:56):
Because I worked on one of thebest shows on television for
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (29:59):
Mm
hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (30:00):
I
worked with all those great
people like go through that andArnold, uh, Jim Cameron, fuck
those people, man.
When True Lies comes out in twomonths, it'll change everything.
And, and it really did.
It really did.
I wanted to believe, but itactually did.
And we were filming that moviethe last year of my marriage and
times were not good.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (30:21):
Mm
hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_ (30:22):
really
enjoyed filming that movie
throughout the country, workingwith those guys, um, seven
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (30:28):
Yeah,
that was like one of the best
movies like in that era, too Imean that was kind of peak
Arnold to write done, you know
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (30:35):
And
it holds up.
And I'll tell you though, whenthey, uh, uh, first of all, uh,
I didn't think I was going toget the movie.
There's no way I was going toget that movie.
I knew real actors wereauditioning for the part I got.
And my agent called, he said,uh, Hey, Jim Cameron wants to
meet you for the movie TrueLies.
I'm like, well, that's bullshit.
(30:57):
You've obviously set up a mercymeeting with him.
You and the rest of the Yehoosat William Morris, who think Sam
and I are leaving WilliamMorris.
You call him up, uh, please meetwith this asshole, Jim Cameron.
We do a lot of businesstogether.
You don't have to cast him, ofcourse, but take a meeting.
So I wasn't going to even gobecause I had a little bit of
(31:17):
self esteem.
Then I thought, I'd like to meetJim Cameron.
So I go
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (31:22):
have
you got to lose at that point?
Right?
Yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (31:25):
his
office.
He's great.
We chit chat a little bit.
And after a while, he's like,okay, do the audition scene.
And I'm like, I gotta be honest,I did not even read the audition
scene.
He's like, what?
I go, I, because if I tried,when I didn't get it, it would
hurt more.
But if I don't try and don't getit, you know, it's not so bad.
(31:47):
And, uh, he's like, oh, he goes,here, it's three pages.
Read it to me one time.
And so I take these pages and Iread this scene to him one time.
And he's like, huh, that's good.
Hey, get out here.
I didn't know ArnoldSchwarzenegger was at the loft
upstairs.
And, uh, all of a sudden ArnoldSchwarzenegger, you know, Arnold
(32:09):
Schwarzenegger, holy shit.
He's coming downstairs, lookingat it.
And Jim Cameron said, he cast mewhen I said I could take it.
You know, how you size up a man?
He's like, I'm kind of low.
He's not that much bigger thanme.
And, uh, the R.
O.
K.
We did it one time.
It was magic.
It really was.
The chemistry was, um, and Jimsaid,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (32:28):
I
think that my favorite, my
favorite line from that wholemovie is when you're telling
him, you know, or when hementions like he, she took the
silverware and everything in thekitchen sink, and, you know, you
were like, yeah, it happens.
You know?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (32:40):
I
used to give trades.
That is, uh, that is, uh, yeah,that's a real deal.
Um, I came into work and at thattime I was living in a house and
Rosanne would have somebody comeinto my house to fuck with me.
And it's sort of how women do.
They're so much smarter, so muchdevious.
(33:01):
I think of the macro ideas likethat.
I will burn your house down.
They think, I'm going to sendsomebody in there and take all
the batteries out of all theremotes of the house.
When he gets to work, he's goingto be like doing this and going,
what the fuck?
This is weird, crazy.
And Arnold and I started doingthis healthy shake thing where
we had whole vegetables, wholefruit and we had to grind them.
(33:24):
And, uh, with ice, I had to makethree big ones, one for the way
to work, one for lunch work, andone for later.
And so, the ice cube tray, uh,the ice cube maker could not
keep up with that.
So I got 30 ice cube trays.
So I go down in the morning,open up the freezer, and start
making the shit.
And, and the ice cube trays aregone.
(33:45):
You gotta be shitting me.
That's what she So I, I came in,make out with Kim and Arnold,
we're in there.
I go, uh, I was explaining whathappened.
And I'm like What kind of a sickbitch takes the ice cube trays
out of the freezer?
And Jim Cameron's like, say thatin this next scene.
and and that's what I did.
Same exact thing happened to mewith wife number two, remember?
(34:06):
I had no idea nothing was goingon, right?
I come home one day, and thehouse is completely empty.
And I mean completely empty.
She even took the ice cube traysout of the freezer.
What kind of a sick bitch takesthe ice cube trays out of the
freezer?
Mixcast 4-3 (34:19):
Like what you're
hearing so far, there's more
coming.
Tom's going to finish the storyabout true lies.
There's a whole bunch of newstuff coming out that you've
probably never heard before.
There's Stop, rewind.
If you're enjoying what you hearso far, stick around, hit like
(34:39):
and subscribe.
There's more coming in part twoin the next week or so.
We're going to go over thingslike the Roseanne roast, single
parenting.
What Tom's doing now, what hisnew challenges are, and where
he's found happiness.
Check back, there's more funnystories and deep hitting stuff
that really is going to blowyour mind.
Like, subscribe, and come onback.
(35:00):
Have a good one.