Vanessa's "How to FALL" Guide

Episode Transcript
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Vanessa Caruso (00:01):
Welcome to the bear with me podcast where we
aim to integrate belief andpractice in the Christian life.
Hi, everybody, it's Vanessa, andAndy. Yeah, I'm here to. And

(00:24):
today. Well, welcome to bearwith me.

Andy Withrow (00:27):
Yeah, welcome back. This is season three, I
guess forget for accountants.

I mean, if. But it is. Yeah. It's a big day.
Yeah. Yeah. We're going to tryit again.

Yeah. And it's also a big day because at least
when we're recording is the daybefore fall.

It is the Autumnal Equinox. Yes. Well said
is tomorrow. Yes. And that's todo with overtopping. It does.
Yes. I actually didn't know whatit was until you told me fall
starts next week. Last week. Oh,really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So
we wanted to talk today abouthow to fall

gracefully. Yes, that would be helpful. You have
to fall. This is how you shouldfall, which we all do have to
fall at least once

sometimes. So yes, today is the eve of fall,
at least here in North America,or the northern hemisphere. I
found so

in the southern hemisphere, what's happening is
it's spring.

Is it? I think so. Really? Yeah. That works.
It's gonna be summer. Yeah,you're right. because summer is
winter. They're here nuts. It'sso weird. I I'm so curious what
Advent in summer looks like.
That's what I'm most interestedin from Australians.
Interesting. You know, like, howwould that change the season to
celebrate Christmas? And Adventduring summer? Right, buddy

(01:53):
knows. I know, we should askthem. That'd be fun during
Advent to talk to someone fromthe southern hemisphere.

Next time next next telephone. Right.

Great. So how to fall. So I wanted to talk about
this because I love makingguides. I've made a how to admin
guide, I

can attest to this. You love making guides? I
do. You've got a number of them.

I do. So I'm really rounding up here. What's
the How to summer, how tosummer, how to Advent? Advent,
how to lent how to lent but itwas mostly fasting. So there
could be more done there. How toNew Year? I did. That might be
all okay. So like spring andfall are just calling

to the How to seasonal. Yes. toolbox. Yeah.
Okay.

So I never used to really think much about the
seasons spiritually. You know, Igrew up in Southern California.
And I worked at this restaurantcalled endless summer. And it
was an endless summer. They'relike all year round. Yes. Which
is weird. Yeah. And even inSouthern California, like it
gets a little crisper, but youdon't see the changes like you

(03:10):
do up here. So I think living uphere for the last six years, has
made me appreciate that. Theouter world offers us things for
our souls and our learning thatare really helpful. So part of
my interest in you know how tofall well, is because I just

(03:33):
want to keep time well, in likethe capital T time way. Like the
liturgical calendar is importantto me. It helps me keep time
well, and helps me rememberwhat's really important. And
what's come before me and whatI'm living for. Yeah. What are
you thinking about?

Yeah, well, it's like several things at once. I
was thinking about how there's anew book coming out by an author
that you and I like, yes, that'sdo this theme. Oh, my gosh, on
how didn't have it time? Yes.
It's about the liturgicalcalendars is Jamie Smith. Yeah.
When's that due out? You know,yesterday. It was was due out
yesterday, that release day,just two days before fall? Yes.
Wow. And J before pockets. Doyou think he timed it with our

(04:15):
podcast?

He did. I was on the q&a with him with his review
team on Monday. And it was sofun. Yeah. And it's all about
how to inhabit time. Well, howto keep time. Well, his main
question in the book is not whoare you? Or how are you? But
when are

you? Yeah, it's not a question probably asked
very often. No. So it's aninteresting one. So we'll
probably get to some of that.
Yeah. To in this time. Yeah.
Plus, I was thinking about how Iif you've ever done Strength
Finders, yeah. Context is one ofmy top five. Oh, do you have do
you have you done it? No, I

don't I just know what it is. I haven't done
it.

Context is like as context is really important. So
like I find meaning in knowingwhere I'm located. Did and when
I'm located, it like helps mefor some understanding what's
happening. That's why it'sprobably why I'd much rather
have a face to face conversationwith someone is a lot true for a
lot of people than a phone call.
Some people might prefer thephone call, but I just depends
so much on. Okay, what are theydoing with their face? What are

(05:15):
they doing with your body? Howshould I personally, you know,
like, context is so helpful. Sothis just makes me think of
that, like, Andy, where are we?
When are we located? Yeah, forwhat life should look like, the
shape that life might take isfascinating.

I love that I didn't even know context was a
strength. There's lots ofstrengths and strengths. Okay.
It might be one of mine, too.
Well, you shouldn't do thething. We'll find out later.
That's part of fallinggracefully. So when are you?
That's part of the reason why Iwanted to pay attention to fall.
Not only I think the questionwhen are you can be about your

(05:52):
stage of life, I think that'sreally important. Growing up, I
kind of had this picture ofChristianity, like it's true in
all times, in all places for allpeople. And the older I've
gotten, I've come to realize howmuch stage of life and stage of
faith depends on the shape andthe fruit and the expression of

(06:18):
life with God. And so I really,that's really important to me.
And for people that listen torecognize whatever stage of life
there in and kind of adapt orcustomize the message or the
invitations or even scripture tothat stage?

Well, it just reminds me that that's such a
key component of discernment ingeneral, thinking of Gordon
Smith's book on listening forthe voice of Jesus where he
takes he kind of takes JonathanEdwards, Jonathan, Wesley, and
Ignatius, like three differentstreams of Christian tradition,

(07:01):
but they have over they overlapin in so many ways, in terms of
how do we hear God's voice, butso much of that, other than
knowing what the voice soundslike through the Bible? ping it
assuming that God is present tous in every season of our life
and every day of our life. Whatdo we discern God is speaking to
us through the events that arehappening right through this

(07:23):
context. So the time and theplace that we find ourselves in?

That's that's everything. That's it done show.

Yeah. And yeah.
Thanks for well, specifically,

oh, yeah, yeah.
Okay. You said something thatreminded me of something else.
Oh, well. So that's a reasonwhy, why I want to pay attention
to the fall. Another big one ismy favorite quote ever is God
comes disguised as your life.
And so I mean, it's what I'vejust been saying. But it's just

(07:57):
my conviction, that God comesdisguised in our context, and in
our limitations in our stage oflife, in our personality, in our
history, in our location in ourjob in our relational
situations. So believing thatGod comes disguised in our lives
means that every season has anopportunity. So when I started

(08:23):
to think about fall, I realizedI don't even know what fall is
about, like, why does the fallexist? That's a big theological
question. But why does autumnexist in particular? So just,
most people probably know this.
I never lived. That's what I wassaying about California. I never
lived with too much awareness ofthe seasons, and what they feel
like what they look like, whatthey lead to what they follow. I

(08:46):
did not have context in SouthernCalifornia. So a little bit
about autumn. Autumn is atransition season between summer
and winter. Andy did you Google?
It did.

Okay.

But it's not just by by that. Yeah. Yeah. It
does. It's adding up. It's notjust a means to an end, though.
In a way that transition seasonseasons feel a little bit like
that, like, Oh, we're justgearing up towards hibernation
winter. But I like the idea thatit's an end in itself as well.
Like, there's a beauty and apoint to fall on its own. The

(09:29):
interesting thing about fall, isthat it to me the main theme and
fall is letting, letting dropletting go. And that's because
of trees and leaves. Soapparently, the northern
hemisphere doesn't all call theseason, Autumn fall. It's mostly

(09:50):
just North America, because it'swhen our trees leaves change
colors and fall. Yeah, so that'sjust kind of a North American
ism I found out

but if One calls the spring spring. Yeah. Spring
and Fall kind of a niceparallel. I

know that spring an autumn for a lot of people.
Okay. What's the what's autumnmean? What's

the root of that?
Do you know?

Yeah. Harvest?
It has its roots in harvest.
Yeah,

I was gonna ask about that. Like, we need a we
need a farmer in here to tell usmore about fall we do harvest
season,

it's unfortunately pretty important.
Yeah, like reading the etymologyand seeing that the kind of the
roots, the harvest roots weredropped because we don't do that
anymore. So many of us were notconnected to food production in
the same way that it dictatesthe season for us. So there's
something lost there. And not.
Not knowing, not harvestinganything. Some of the people

(10:44):
listening to this might, andthey would know more.

Yeah. And will write in the comment section as
they

do. So another interesting thing about tomorrow
is that the day and night arethe same length.

Day and night are the same like wait, is this the
one where you can put the egg onit was that that's the link
that's the summer. Oh, I don'tknow that. The equinox? Wait,
no, it is What's tomorrow? It'sthe equinox? No, because it's
the spring and fall I think. Isit the equinox where you can you
can balance an egg perfectlybecause of because of

your kidding.
Centrifugal force. That word

is a word. I don't know if

I'm going to try this. I'm going to look it up.
Yeah, that one snake. Okay,that's the first falling
practice. Oh, but you have tolisten to this, like ASAP, or
whatever. egg

egg. I think it's the equinox. I can't remember
now.

So isn't that super cool that there is a day
when night and day are the samelength or equal in length. And
then progressively towards awinter solstice, like mid late
December. That will be the theshortest day in the longest
night for us in the northernhemisphere. Or at least here so.

(12:09):
So fall does have thisprogression to it. And this
letting go. Whereas winter, it'seasier for me to think of like
hibernation barren trees, lotsof rain. Summer, the disciplines
of summer to me are like, jumpin the water every chance you
get Terry loiter, because it'ssummer. Yeah. So what are the

(12:33):
limitations? The fall? That'swhat I'm wondering.

No. You're right.
Do you ever think of like, whereyou are? Like, if you live to an
average age? Where are you inthe season of your life?

Oh,

like? Is it like late summer, early summer, wild
fall? You know, if you'reparalleling sort of Yes. Winter
is kind of down. That's the end.
And then yeah, new life isgetting to spring.

I've never thought about that. But I love
it. Like, spring for a coupledecades. Summer for a couple
decades. Yeah. Fall and Winter.
Yeah. Yeah. So I'm like, summer.
The end of summer. Maybe live

in your summer right now? Yeah. And last
summer? Yeah. Just like we usedto work. Exactly. Sorry, I
derailed No, no, probably. We'retalking I love that. Getting
ready for the winter. Is thatwhat

you remember?
Yeah. So fall. So one of thethings that captured my
imagination about fall wasreading Psalm 46. That is the
psalm with the famous line Bestill and know that I am God.
And when I looked up still inthe concordance, I saw that the
word kind of you know, they givea lot of different definitions

(13:52):
and stuff. But one of one of thefirst ones in the definition
part was slacking. So to like,slack in relax, let drop sank.
And that surprised me because Itend to think of still as
peaceful like you, you're fine,you have everything worked out,

(14:14):
your heart's not beating, you'renot distracted. So I think of
still is like, kind of an enddestination or something like
that. Whereas this version ofstill, the Hebrew word behind
still is much more of like a hasmuch more movement to it, you
know, to slack in your hands orto slack in a rope or to let

(14:38):
drop to let something dropthat's much. It has a different
vibe to me than what I alwaysinterpreted it as still. It was
very consoling to me becausethere are only a few times when
I'm in prayer, that I actuallyfeel still Yeah, but there's
nine 80% of the time where Ifeel like I'm trying to let to

(15:01):
let God love me to let go to letdrop to let my thoughts exist.
So letting was just like such aevocative idea for me. And it
made me think of trees. Liketrees are graceful at letting
things go. Yeah. Really good atit. Yeah. So that so that's what

(15:25):
got me excited about the fall isOh, I feel like God's saying
something to me personally,about learning how to slack in
my grip or how to unfurl my handor to let something drop or to
relax in the trees are teachersin this and I'm I happen to live

(15:45):
in a place where the next monthis going to be a gorgeous
display of letting drop.

Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Anything I mean, being
there dropping leaves or thedrop? Is that are they dropping?
They're like cones, pine conesand see other seeds as well. Are
they probably is where ignoranceis really on display. I mean,
just makes me think that it'snot an end that the death is an

(16:15):
end in itself that there's like,a purpose for the next season.
Oh, yeah. Right. Love that. Init just yeah, that parallel with
the letting things drop thebeing still the letting things
go, because there's a biggerstory at work. Part of that we
don't have control over. That'sawesome.

That's awesome.
Yeah. Isn't that beautiful?

Yeah. Did I ever tell you that fall is my
favorite season? No. Is it Ihave definitely told you that. I
tell everybody that do you?

It sounds kind of familiar. You're sure is like
would you say?

You just don't remember? I tell everybody that
okay. Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

I believe you is why I don't know. Oh,

it's it's great. I mean, I think it's I think a lot
of it is the festivity stufflike you've got the seasons in
their harvest and Halloweenassociated with that the
pumpkins and and as things get,I don't know if things get
darker and colder there's itfeels like there's community
stuff that happens. Yeah. AndThanksgivings in there, you're

(17:22):
leading towards Christmas justseems like this season of
festivity. But I also associateit with that kind of that
longing and that bittersweetness. Yeah. And, and I
think for me, it's that symbolof, of loss. And which sounds
weird that that'd be my favoriteseason. But I think the power of

(17:44):
Fall is a resonating power or acoherence power years with
feelings. That even I probablywouldn't have been able to
articulate or didn't wasn't ableto articulate as a kid growing
up, but feelings I had of loss.
And, but combined with thisbeauty, yeah. And there's like
the on the nose loss where youactually lose loved ones, family

(18:04):
members or friends over time.
And there's also just the lossof people growing up and things
changing and things aren't thelike, I felt this as a kid a
lot. Things aren't what likethey used to be, like, as a kid,
you'd have like your family comelike extended family come for
Thanksgiving, and Christmas andholidays, and all these things.

(18:27):
And as you get older, it's notjust loose, like that group
changing through death, but it'salso good things like family is
getting bigger and you justcan't You can't meet the same
and so you don't meet as thewhole group anymore. You meet us
at a kind of a smaller group.
And so you're just kind ofmourning on the one hand, these
great memories, which are alsocelebrate, like, that's kind of

(18:47):
fall to me is like, yeah, you'remourning and you're celebrating
at the same time. Andy, I thinkthat's why it's my

favorite. That is beautiful. And that just
resonates use that word withwhat I learned about the fall.
Like it's this paradox ofharvest and abundance, like
there's a ton of fruit, right?
And food in season. One of thehashtags for me about fall has

(19:14):
been sharing is caring. It's socliche, but it just feels like
it embodies the fall to mesharing is caring, mixed with
the loss and the letting go andthe change as we approach
winter, like actual winter andthen kind of quote unquote,
winter. I love those together.

(19:39):
And you said something else. Sosleep is something that's coming
up for me as I enter into thefall like one of the questions I
put in my guide is what'ssomething that you care more
about now than you did this lastSummer, like, what's something

(20:01):
you value more now. And just inthe last couple of weeks, sleep
feels like something I'm payinga little bit more attention to.
And as a season, fall feels likea great time to look at our
falling asleep. routines, orrituals, kind of in preparation

(20:23):
for this idea of hibernation.
Like if if winter is a time ofrest in multiple ways. This
would be the time to think aboutgearing up for last. Yeah, yeah,
exactly. Preparing to rest areinterest. And something else
that has meant something to meis that I recently redid my rule

(20:44):
of life over the summer. And Ijust had some new ideas about
how to structure it and how toword it. And I'm really excited
about it has like multiplecharts and graphs, pages, and I

love it. Like bar charts or pie charts,

boxes and arrows. Okay, like things that
lead to other things come turns.
Yeah, it's really fun. So it wasit's, you know, it's like full
of stuff. I'm really excitedabout it. I would like, look at
it every day, and just delightin it, you know. And then I went
on this little retreat lastweekend, I guess, just for a

(21:22):
couple hours at Mary Lakesanctuary, really beautiful
place. And I just felt like, Godreminded me that there's all
these things I can do in the 16hours that I'm awake in the day.
But there are eight hours in theday where I'm totally
unconscious. And that actuallymight be the time when I'm the

(21:44):
most cooperative to what God'sdoing in my life like this. It
felt like a squeamish. Yeah,it's very still, like relaxed,
slackened to the court droolcoming out, you know, like lines
on my face. It kind of made methink of a mom, who gets a lot

(22:04):
of work done when her kid issleeping, I kind of wondered,
like God is God like, I canreally like get my best stuff in
her done, because she'scooperative, to the max. So I
felt a little convicted by that,like, I felt very self centered.

(22:24):
Looking at my rule of life, thateven on the page, it didn't
show, it was just the 16 hours aday, which is still an illusion
I'm not doing

all of that was some of it the illusion of
here's what I control. Andthat's the most important stuff,
right is what I control. Right?
And some of that's true, likesome it's like, the whole point
is, what is my role? And what ismy responsibility? And we don't
usually think about that atsleep other than maybe, well, I
need to make sure that I'mgetting it. Yeah, right, getting
the right. Right amounts. Butthis plays into kind of what I

(22:58):
think we've talked about beforeis like kind of the Sabbath
principle stuff.

Someone's very no problem.

But the Sabbath ideas that yeah, trusting God
with the parts of us that aredesigned to rest Yeah, rest as
trust, rest as peace andcelebration. Yeah. So we think
of Sabbath like the one day andseventh principle was kind of

(23:31):
tied in all also to this restingin this sleeping, I think like
the in the Bible, at least theHebrew or the Israelite day,
started at sundown. I know, Ilove that. That's so strange.
It's like sundown it's a newday. It's so counterintuitive to

(23:53):
the way we think.

But isn't it amazing? I thought about that on
this when I was on this retreatthat I wonder if I could
restructure my rule of lifebecause it's kind of I have like
a daily column weekly, monthlyannually, to have it start at
10pm the night before. So andthen have the sleep kind of
allotted in there, which iswhere I am like surrendered to

(24:17):
God. And then, you know, the twothirds at the bottom. I then
wake up to my day, I wake up towhat God is already doing in the
world.

Yeah, yeah, that's a it's an interesting reframe
because it gives it says, Thefirst third of my day. I'm not
doing anything. Yeah. Actively.

How true is that to theologically?

Yeah, and it reminds me of the first day that
I mean, if you go back toGenesis one, you're looking at
the creation and the creation ofmale and female that humanity.
The first day they experiencedfirst full day experience they
experienced the Sabbath day.
Like that's their first daybecause on day six,

You're kidding, right? Andy, that is so

and so it's like God's done all this work. And
then it's the Sabbath and let'srest and celebrate and enjoy the
creation. But from the human'sperspective, it's day one is
Sabbath is rest in celebratingwhat God has done. And then oh,
and then you get to work.

That is so cool.
To kind of parallels

that idea. Yeah, we start with the evening, we
start with the rest. Knowingthat God is the one who is
really doing the most of thework that counts here. Yeah. And
we wake up to it and respond toit.

Which is Jamie Smith's idea of time in this new
book, How to inhabit time, timeis not blocks on a calendar to
manage time is something it's ameans of grace. It's something
we are swept up in. It'ssomething we awake to.

Which sounds like you're what you've talked about
before the distinction betweenthe Tick Tock time Yeah, the
Kairos time. Yeah, the fullnessof time this stuff? Yeah.

I love this conversation already. And how to
fall, how to follow up how tofall asleep. How do you reframe
what it is we do and what it isGod does? There's a letting go.
They're like it reminds me ofthat definition of prayer. I
think it's Dave David Benner.
That prayer is not somethingprimarily that we do. It's what

(26:29):
God does in us when we openourselves to God. And so my rule
of life is not somethingprimarily I do. It's something
God does in me, when Isurrendered to

learn to be aware of in responding to.

Yeah. So where should we go from here? What are
all the things you want tocover? No, no, but I just you
know, want to

make space for ages here. Was it? Yeah. Do you
wanna do how to? Yeah. Or didyou realize?

Yeah, I think I, I think that's

good. We're cueing the people at home that we
actually do have scriptssometimes. Oh, yeah, we actually
do have a plan.

Yeah, we do.
Contrary to how it might soundsometimes

just rattling random papers like, Oh, yeah.

Where are we at?
Okay, some how ideas. So I thinkreflection and time for
reflection, during all seasonsis key. So in this guide, I did
put down some questions that Iwanted to answer myself. Yeah.
But I don't even think thequestions really matter. In a

(27:43):
way I think it's saying, Imatter. And knowing when I am,
in my stage of life in myseason, of a lifespan, in the
liturgical calendar, in myrelationships, that matters
enough to take some time toreflect. So that's a how to is

(28:03):
just to give yourself permissionto block off some time and say,
I'm going to, I don't want thefall to pass me by without
paying attention to it orwithout sensing God's
invitations to me personally init. That'd be number one.

Yeah, that's good.
I mean, I'm just I'm mindful.
Also, this is a season. That iscrazy for a lot of people.
That's true. And I can speak tothe parents among us, because
back to school, it's back fordepending on what your your work
is. Sometimes that can be Yeah,fall can be a hectic time. Yeah.

(28:47):
So you feel like you're pushedin, there's maybe less margins
than ever and so it can bedifficult to even just pry open
20 minutes to, to yourself tothink. But if you can get it get
it.

Yeah. Yeah.

And you got so are we on the house, actually,
because the questions?

Yeah. I have all these different practices and
ideas. That for me, I tried topick things that evoke being
grounded, like being connectedto the earth thinking of
harvest, food production, leavesfalling on the ground. When we

(29:30):
walk we sometimes

depending on like, I, every year we go to the
pumpkin patch, kids, and that's,you know, yeah, just kind of a
thing you do in October. Yeah.
For fun, but like it does, likeeven just that simple practice.
Yeah, I'm just walking in theend we got we got the Mitchells.
Yep. Which is fun. And muddy,very muddy. Yeah. I don't know.

(29:54):
It's really simple. It's kind Iwant to one of my favorite
things we do. Yeah,

there are those rituals in fall. That reminds me
of finally coming around toBloodstones. When I moved here,
I was like, just not getting onestone. So I'm sure a lot of
prideful people like me thinkthat to see them everywhere
couldn't help it. Yeah, becauseit feels like a it freed me to

(30:26):
walk in the mud. You'repractical. Yeah. Because I'm
wearing white Converse rightnow. You don't want to go to the
pumpkin panels. And so I wouldactually not want to get dirty,
which is not how I want to livemy life. I want to be free to
walk in, in the mud. SoBloodstones are good for that.

(30:47):
That wasn't on my list ofpractices. Okay, what bison

Bloodstones?

Should? Would I highlight?

You got so many things. Are you going to post
this somewhere? Yes, on ourblog, because you got a whole
quadrant of let's see 1234567Once a 21. How ideas that we're
not going to cover? No. And thenyou on the other page, you've
got a list of reflectivequestions to help us enter and
kind of this mindset of how tofall well. That yeah, so we'll

(31:21):
post that on. Yeah, we'll put itin the show notes. But also we
have a website that we've barelydone anything with. But we've
got a few things out there,including I think how to summer
guide. Amazing, but we'll canput this on there. Yeah. How to
follow guide. Yeah, we have acollection of how to guides,
among other things.

Yes, well, we'll do that. Okay, well,

why don't you pick one of these? Two, one or two of
these? How ideas and then?

Yes.

Are they just also good?

No, it's just that I'm overwhelmed. Okay, let
me just think what, whatactually matters to me right
now. So and you're gonna have tocut this out. I'm starting to
feel self conscious about howmuch time I'm

taking on you're thinking about? Well, I'm just
looking at what's the tell meabout? John Keats to autumn read
or listen to the audio to autumnby John Keats. So

yeah, so that poem is just full of really cool
words, a lot of them that Idon't use in my daily life, but
that are very evocative. And soas I read it, I thought, Oh,
this feels like Alexia Divinalike, it feels like a sacred
text for fall, in that you couldread through it not trying to

(32:45):
grasp the meaning of an oldpoem, but, but listening for
what's the word that is like thejuiciest for me. And then taking
that word to God. And saying,Why am I so drawn to this? Like,
there's something about this,that has something for me, and

(33:07):
so I'm gonna hold on to it. I'mgonna pay attention to it. And
I'm gonna see what, what itmeans for me. I had that
experience. On this retreat, Itook a little walk in the woods,
and I found the most gorgeous,our beautiful tree. I mean, our
beautiful trees. If that's not ametaphor for the Pascale

(33:30):
mystery, I don't know what it isbecause it's like this gorgeous
salmon cinnamon colored, oiledbark. I mean, it's flawless. And
it's shining in the sun. Itlooks like it's oiled. You know,
it's just like, bark, varnishedburnished, and those words. And
then it's these coyly papercoils that are coming off of the

(33:51):
bark and these perfect littlecurls. Yeah. And I just was so
drawn to it, like what ishappening, and why is this so
beautiful? So I grabbed a littleone of the coils and I just held
on to it for my walk. So I hadno idea why I was drawn to it.
But by the end of that littleretreat reflection, it felt like

(34:13):
there's something in that for mesomething about being self
forgetful, and less selfconscious, like the Arbutus tree
is kind of bark forgetful. Andit allows its skin to coil and
curl off. And it revealssomething beautiful on the
inside. That feels like ametaphor for for the fall. But

(34:34):
it also feels like a message oran invitation from God to me,
like what would it be like touncurl my hands and my self
consciousness? My perfectionism.
So that's what I mean by that.
That Keats poem is maybe in injust looking at those words,
there's something there'ssomething there and maybe it

(34:57):
will, it will reflect itselfeven in nature.

Yeah, that's good.
You got in here, you've got alink to a list of grounding
techniques. Yeah. As youmentioned before, it could be
interesting. Do you

know that grounding is a real thing? Have
we talked about this? I don'tthink we've talked about Yeah.
So grounding, I thought was justlike a woowoo word for yoga
teachers, oh, stuff like that.
Like, oh, we just need to begrounded, like a metaphor for
like standing or sitting. It'sit's like a scientific real
thing. Oh, I

just always thought in terms of context,
again, oh, like, oh, be aware ofwhere you're at. be in contact
with what's around you. Yes. Andin to have that kind of give you
direction for what the momentis.

That is true.
That matters. That's a part ofit. But that's still a little
bit of, it's still a little bitabstract. I'm talking about
their, their stuff in the earth.
And when we have our feet on theground, or when we lay on the
ground, or when we're barefooton the ground, or when we're in
the water, it actually doessomething to us physiologically,

(36:09):
and there are studies aboutthis. So it's like, there's
scientific backing, to touchingthings of the earth with our
bodies. That

touching calibrates tree, would you say
touching the beauty? Yes.

Yeah. hugging trees. You know, it's not just a
woowoo thing. It's not justlike, oh, some people think just
that. It's not.

But then by definition, aren't you? Because,

yeah, it's a catch 22. So those grounding
things at first, I was like,okay, whatever I'll like take
off my shoes on the grass. Andnow I take off my shoes, you
know, when I'm on grass when Ican't, because I just believe
that there's somethinghappening. It's like prayer,
believe that something'shappening within me.

Interesting. Take a walk in your neighborhood
after dark. Just to give yousome ideas to take a walk? And
was you have a link to that one?
Uh huh. So there's maybe somethat's a

Cal Newport link? Oh, yeah. So he's the tech
free or like, low tech kind ofguy. And so he believes strongly
in taking walks, to letourselves integrate what we're
learning and thinking withoutpodcasts without other voices

without you processing time, apart from
those kinds of inputs. Yeah,that makes a lot.

So again, I just thought that was for people who
liked trees and nature. And Iwas like, Well, I'm not that
kind of person who trees

in nature.

But there's more there.

Let's, so we'll we'll post this lots of more
ideas that we've scratched thesurface. But I want to talk real
quick about some of thesequestions.

Oh, sure. Yes, so what questions are important,
there's this amazing meditationby Anand Robbins,

post this on as well, this is just a list of
questions was just somereflection questions
specifically around how to fall?
Yeah, and how to kind ofintegrate this into our
spiritual practice. Yeah.

So I think questions around letting drop or
letting go Are, are particularto this season in a way that we
wouldn't ask in spring, right inthe same way. So I like some of
those questions like what needsto be let go of and released in
order for me to go on? Or what'scome to a natural end? And what

(38:31):
would that look like to justacknowledge that and to keep
going. I also like things, like,name, your top three priorities
for the fall? Not to be toorigid about it, but just to
wonder what actually whatactually comes up and if I'm
going to be a person whoregularly reflects when winter

(38:53):
solstice does come right beforeChristmas, if I look back over
the fall season, what would Iconsider successful and so that
like front loading, and then thelooking back, the book ending is
really important in reflectionlike to have some intention and
awareness and space as you entersomething and then to have some

(39:16):
space at the end to look backand to say, did what I think
happened? What is it what Ithought God was inviting me
into? What how did that pan out?
Otherwise I just keep kind ofsleepwalking through life right
and I don't feel that connectedto what God's doing in my life.

Yeah, like this was come to a natural end in
your life that needs to be letgo of released weighs on you.
But doesn't bring you substanceanymore. So those reflections
about what are the things thatneed to die? Because I think we
have such an aversion to likenothing should die. Nothing
should die ever. Like it's likeour Yeah, reflexive or something
but just recognizing it's okayand necessary that things must

(39:59):
die. and that will lead in God'stiming to new life for other
things. Yeah, the different arethe same things in a different
form, I don't know. And so justtrying to be good at think for
me one of the one of thetakeaways for for our time, as
we kind of come to wrap up isjust that idea of letting being

(40:22):
okay with letting things die andmourning it well, not just
dying. It's just like,remembering Well, being okay
with being sad about it, butalso being present to what's
what's happening now and beingopen to what God wants to do in
the next season.

It's beautiful.
It's perfect that that tritiumis in the fall, like the three
day veil is thin season, whichis All Saints Day, All Souls
Day, and All Hallows Eve, right.
And so that's like, right aroundHalloween, when we It does feel

(41:02):
like the veil between heaven andearth. Life and death is
particularly thin. So what youjust said about mourning? Well,
that does feel specific to thefall.

Yeah, it feels like for for the Christian that
falls are both looking back, butlooking for like that season of
the memories and what we'velost, but also looking for and
that's around all saints forremembering, especially those
that have died over the years.
But also looking forward.
Because in Christ, there's newlife and Resurrection and the

(41:36):
seed becomes something new.
Right. And so also lookingforward with joy and hope. Yeah,
of what's next.

Great, Andy, just one last question. If you
have an answer, anything that'sbringing you joy or connection
lately, like is there anypractice or

exposure before it's my favorite, right? Love
this seven year? Yeah. It'salways this is always the time
of year the of getting back,like, the summer is great,
because you're taking a bigbreak. And lots of people are
doing that. And in the fall,both in my own personal life,
it's us as a family kind ofcoming back and getting into
routines. But it's also as apastor, other people coming back

(42:23):
to community or being part ofthis church, where it's like,
everything's kind of in full.
And if you're we feel or I feelespecially this season, because
the last two years has not beenthat feeling but yeah, like,
wah, wah, like no, yeah. So thisfeels for the first time in a
long time. Like, you know,you're back into a rhythm of
family and community life and,and all that. And that's,

yeah, love it.
You reminded me so my favoritething right now is that we came
up with a full schedule. Like Igot this huge whiteboard, which
is like, dreamy for me. And Ijust put Monday, Tuesday,
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,Saturday, Sunday on it, like,
what's the template for ourfamily life? In the fall? So we
decided Mondays would be make itthrough Mondays. So you know,

(43:16):
there's like some grace there.

Make it through Monday. Yeah. I mean, make it
through Monday. Yeah.

Just it's like the fall of the week where
you're like, you know, it couldbe hard. Wednesday is board game
night. It's not Alliterative.
But so we started that lastweek, we had people over kids
over we tried a new board game,so fun and chaotic. So to start
this morning, we were like, Oh,who do we want to invite for
board game night? So just havingit on the schedule, like Leo

(43:45):
sees it, we see it. It's rightthere. And it's like, oh, that's
what today is. It's waffleWednesday, and it's board game
night. Thursday's documentarynight. Okay, so we love
documentaries. But when you sitdown to watch movie, no one's
going to choose the documentary.
You can choose to schedule ifyou'd like we have to. That's
only what we're allowed to watchdocumentaries. So last Thursday,

(44:06):
we watched biggest little farm.
Oh, yeah. The best. Yes, it'sone of the best documentaries
and Leo loved it. So that's myfavorite thing right now is that
we did front load a little bitlike what would be dreamy and
now it's there and now it kindof dictates our day in a way
that we're really happy aboutyou know, because otherwise

(44:27):
don't be like oh, let's we saidwe wanted to play a board game
but it's too busy or I'm tiredor whatever but can't it's on
the it's on the thing or you

avoid the what should we do tonight? And then
it takes an hour for everyone todecide or not decide. Yeah, not
agree.

I even made a list of all the documentaries so
we don't even look on Netflix.
You have to go through thatlist. But that's what I'm
loving. Great. Thanks, Sandy. Doit again. Fall. Well. Hello,
everyone. I'll speak

Hollywood style with grace. Okay, well thanks
everybody. We're We're back andwe're gonna think every couple
of weeks to get out a newepisode.

Unknown (45:13):
I don't know what

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