August 20, 2025 • 32 mins
Ever walk into a school meeting and feel like you're already behind before you even sit down?
In this episode, I’m talking with special education consultant Michelle Pianim about how we shift from feeling powerless in IEP meetings to taking proactive, confident steps for our neurodivergent kids. We unpack the culture of inclusion (or the lack thereof), how to become the expert in the room about your child, and what to do when you feel like you've hit a wall with your school team.
Michelle brings decades of experience — and serious wisdom — to this conversation, including practical strategies to ask for what your child needs, gather the right data, and advocate with clarity instead of conflict.
This episode is for every parent who’s ever walked out of a school meeting thinking, “What just happened?
”🎧 Listen now and open the door to better outcomes, stronger advocacy, and a team that works with you — not around you.
You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.
Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/325
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
In this episode, I’m talking with special education consultant Michelle Pianim about how we shift from feeling powerless in IEP meetings to taking proactive, confident steps for our neurodivergent kids. We unpack the culture of inclusion (or the lack thereof), how to become the expert in the room about your child, and what to do when you feel like you've hit a wall with your school team.
Michelle brings decades of experience — and serious wisdom — to this conversation, including practical strategies to ask for what your child needs, gather the right data, and advocate with clarity instead of conflict.
This episode is for every parent who’s ever walked out of a school meeting thinking, “What just happened?
”🎧 Listen now and open the door to better outcomes, stronger advocacy, and a team that works with you — not around you.
You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.
Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/325
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
A lot of times for parents, we go into a
school environment once we're fed up, so that team has
come to expect that you don't have faith in them,
and maybe you don't, Okay, but some of this is
I need to put expectations when my child starts the year.
Let's sit down and talk. Here are the things that
I know to be true about my child in school
(00:23):
and out of school, and here's what I can offer
you in terms of support.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Welcome to Beautifully Complex, where we unpack what it really
means to parent neurodivergent kids with dignity and clarity. I'm
Penny Williams, and I know firsthand how tough and transformative
this journey can be. Let's dive in and discover how
to raise regulated, resilient, beautifully complex kids together. Oh and
(00:49):
if you want more support, join our free community at
hub dot beautifully complex dot life. Welcome back to Beautifully
Complex everyone. I am really excited to have Michelle, p
and m here with me to talk about special education
(01:10):
and all of the things I EP and learning differences
and advocacy. And I think that advocacy piece is really
hard for a lot of parents, and it's hard for
a lot of our kids too to self advocate. So
I'm really looking forward to this conversation and getting your
(01:32):
insights Michelle. But will you start just by letting everybody
know who you are and what you do.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Sure, I'm Michelle P and M and I would consider
myself a career special educator. So I just am about
to hit my twenty fourth year in education. Started out
as a teacher, eventually became a principal, worked for the
superintendent in DC and the Department of SPECIALID, and then
went on to start my own consulting business, which is
(02:00):
very much school facing and so supporting schools with developing
a special ED culture that includes parents, that maintains compliance
and gets our kids growing through into, you know, whatever
their desired outcome is. And so I try to work
really hard to help my schools understand just what it
(02:23):
looks like from a parent's perspective, but also what it
looks like to have a really high functioning special ED
program where parents have hope and you know, inclusive practices
for their children. I'm excited to be here with you.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
You use the word culture, and that is standing out
to me because we haven't in general fostered a culture
of inclusion. You know, in our history when I was
in school, all the special ed kids were you know,
in the trailers out back and completely separated. They rode
a separate bus, they had a separate lunchtime. Everything was separate.
(03:04):
And I think we're still dragging some of that with us, right,
and we need to change it.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yeah, no, absolutely, I mean so there's two parts to this.
I had a school leader who is also a form
She was my former supervisor, so when we know each
other well, and she said to me just two weeks ago,
she just took a CEO role at a charter school
(03:31):
and she said, Michelle, the number one order of business
is getting those kids out of the parking lot. She said,
we have three trailers where the autistic program is housed,
and it's on our land, right. It's not in the building,
it's in temporaries, right. And I said, oh my god,
I cringe thinking about if it's snow on the ground
(03:54):
and they're transitioning to lunch or you know, the weather.
And she said, number one order of business, get those
kids out of those temporaries, like get our babies back
in the building with us. And I just thought it's
twenty twenty five. I remember being in high school and
all the special ed classes were on one hallway that
(04:15):
was not super well lit, classrooms at no windows, and
I wasn't super aware of special education language at that time.
Even though my grandmother was a teacher. We used to
call them Eddie's. We didn't even have any understanding of
how offensive that would be. And I'm thinking, Okay, we
surely have made growth now, and there are little things
(04:36):
that continue to remind me, like you said, that we
are maybe not necessarily functioning and inclusive.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Stuck yep, stuck. Yeah, And even you know, minor divergent
kid graduated high school, oh my gosh, almost four years ago,
maybe now, and you know, not so long ago, and
there was a special ed hall. You know, it was
still separate. It was in the building, some of it,
(05:04):
but I remember his special ed study hall was in
a temporary you had to go outside and go to it,
you know. And it's like it just gave me flashbacks
of when I was in high school. The middle school
was next door and I was going over. It was
some sort of class volunteer thing, and I was working
in a special ed class back then, and it was
(05:26):
like that, right, and I'm like, oh my gosh, we're
still doing this the same in so many ways. So
how do we make change. How can you know, one
singular parent, one singular advocate start to chip away at
that and make change.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Yes, that's a good question. I think it's sometimes hard
to say depending on the school. Where the school is
located in the metropolitan city or is it in the suburbs,
is it in a rural environment where you don't have
a lot of resources. I mean, you have to look
at that first. But I think you know that old saying,
the hit dog barks, whatever you draw attention to, the
(06:07):
loudest thing is the thing that you focus on. And
I always tell my parents one get everything in writing.
So even if you have a conversation in person, do
a follow up. So I thank you for stopping and
talking to me today. Here's what I took away from
our conversation. I think when parents ask for something, just
like we've been instructed in kind of the medical world
(06:29):
to say, if you're refusing that test, I would like
a document in my file. I think the same thing
happens for children. Right, we have to say, like, if
you're refusing this testing, if you're refusing, you know, kind
of the things that I am asking for to see,
you know, can we collect more data? Can we do
X y Z? I want that in writing, right, I
want something that supports the why. And so I would
(06:50):
say there's two parts of this. There's the asking and advocating,
and then there's the other part of what are your
rights as a parent and and really being clear and
upfront in those meetings and saying like, these are my
goals for my children, and do these goals that you
all are proposing aligned with that? A really realistic conversation
(07:13):
around that. I don't know that parents truly understand that
they are the expert also in their children's world. They've
taken care of them. All educators aren't an expert. And
specially you can come to the table with as much
data as the school team is, you know.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I think because it doesn't often feel like we're part
of the team, you know, and it's hard to rectify that.
Like when I would show up at a school meeting,
it's just me and my husband couldn't necessarily get off
work most of the time, it wasn't feasible, and so
it was me and then a room full of school personnel,
(07:53):
and how do you walk into that situation and not
feel like you're not really part of the team. You
know feels and maybe that's a good question. How do
we walk in and create this culture that you had
talked about where we can be part of the team.
How do we set that up?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Yeah, so I think one thing parents should do prior
to you even walking into that meeting, right, is making
sure that you are equipped with everything that's going to
be discussed. So if you're reviewing an evaluation, if you're
reviewing new goals, then as a parent, you have a
right to say I need that in advance because I
(08:35):
need to share that with my pediatrician, I need to
share that with my advocate, I need to talk to
my husband about that, or my child's you know, family members.
And then also, you know I tell parents all the
time in this new age of technology, run that report
through chat GBT and say, explain this like a fourth
or fifth grader. Right, even if you love that are
(08:57):
an attorney, even if you are one one of the
most highly qualified people in the United States, some of
that language is foreign if you are not specifically working
in special needs. So run that through some type of
technology and say, explain to me what the outcomes will
be for my child, What these goals mean for my child.
(09:18):
What is an example of a problem or you know,
a math problem or a reading task that would be
applicable to this goal. Explain to me all these things,
and then also give me some questions to ask the team,
you know, asking for problems. Give me five questions to
put in front of the team that will help me
dissect if these goals are appropriate for my child. Yeah, right,
(09:42):
So just coming equipped with some of that and saying, okay,
I need this ten days in advance because I need
to be able to review it, and then coming in
with your questions, your notes and all those things, and
asking the team, I'd like to review last year's goals.
I need to make sure that we made mastery needs
to make sure that we're closing this gap that we
are seeing. And I also want to see current data.
(10:04):
Where are we on our benchmark assessments? How did they
score in state wide assessments? Did they make the growth
that we are expecting based on the goals that we proposed?
Those are very important questions to ask. To show up
in a meeting and say like, hey, listen, we are
all here for Michelle, and Michelle's goal, her personal goal
(10:26):
is XYZ. I need to make sure this IP aligns
with that.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah. Yeah, and that data like, yeah, it's lacking. Honestly,
you know, my kid went through thirteen years of school.
Never once was I given data, and if I asked
for it, it was like, oh, well, give us a
month to put that together, you know. And so I
was constantly like, we're not meeting this goal, we're not measuring,
(10:52):
like we're still struggling, and there was nothing. So I
don't want to use the term holding their feet to
the fire, but like, how do we say I need
the data? We all need the data. It's not just
me the parent, but we all need to be seeing
if what we have determined is going to help this
(11:12):
kid get educated and learn is actually doing that or not.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Yeah, I mean where I currently live, right, I'll say this.
My daughter, who was my youngest child, who is not
in any way has a special education diagnosis or Nora divergence.
She comes home with this dibble's data right every trimester
or every you know, three times a year, and you know,
(11:38):
sometimes I even send it to my teacher friends and
I'm like, is she on talking? Like what does this mean?
And I remember people saying like, so you've dibbled and
now what right? Yeah? What does this mean? And so
I think it's important to say, like, I know that
you ask for my child to be on time and
be fed in the morning and not be late for
those three days in September or October or January or February.
(12:01):
Where is that? When do I get a copy of that?
And so being really proactive around paying attention to you
took an exam today? Okay, so do you know how
you did? Did your teacher give you that? Can you
email that to me? Because I need that for the
IEP meeting. And so sometimes not waiting until right before
the IEP meeting or at the IEP meeting makes sense.
(12:21):
Sometimes it's not possible, but I think asking like, hey,
I know my child took some benchmark assessments and you're
using that to determine things for your school. I'm using
that to determine things for my child, and just kind
of saying I'm expecting that to come home every time
and again when you are present and you're asking and
it doesn't get fulfilled. You know, sometimes I even myself.
(12:43):
I don't tell schools who I am. When my children
are there, I'm like, I don't tell them that I'm
a special at consultant and that I know all these things.
But when I ask for something and it's not fulfilled,
I start I start looking on the district's website, who's
the area superintendent, who's the executive director, who oversees this?
So that when I send this email and say, last month,
(13:04):
on June fifteenth, I asked for this data, and thirty
days later, I've yet to receive it, And so I
just want to know. Should I expect mister John Smith
to be helping me get that data?
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Right, Yeah, so we're going outside of the school now
because you have a history of ignoring your parents, and
so I usually put that on a record. I don't
trust anything in person conversation without following up.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Yeah for sure. Always get it in writing, or always
chuck back in and say this is how I understood, yes,
the outcomes of this meeting and who's going to do
what and how we're going forward yep. And that gives
them the opportunity to say no, you're misunderstanding, and it
gives you the opportunity to get it writing right that
follow through.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I think the biggest tool is diligence, right, Like we
have to stay the course. We can't say, oh my god,
they didn't respond in a certain time, so I'm gonna drop
it all.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Yeah, And it's hard. It's hard for parents. They don't
want to be that parent. They don't want to rock
the boat. They don't want to look like they think
that their kid deserves more than other kids or any
of these things right that get in our way. So
it's really tough emotionally for a lot of parents. And
(14:21):
then you know, if you're a parent with anxiety or
like me, social anxiety, Like I was sick to my
stomach just going to a meeting with people I didn't
know right, So I was like off kilter already. But
then you focus on your kid and you get to
a place where you're just like, all right, this is
what my kid needs, this is who my kid needs
me to be, and this is how I have to
(14:43):
show up for them and making it about our kids again,
sort of refocusing there. If you've been listening for a while,
you're familiar with my back to school prep week where
I set neurodivergent kids and their families for success right
when the school year starts. There's another podcast that will
(15:05):
help you navigate the rest of the school year. It's
called Opportunity Gap, and it's all about special education. Let's
be real, all those acronyms alone, I EP five, oh four, FBA,
BP can be overwhelming. All you want is for your
kid to have the opportunity for success. Right you'll hear
(15:25):
from special educators, child psychologists, and other learning experts who
know their stuff and give you realistic advocacy tools. I
listened to Opportunity Gap and I was blown away. Julian
Savedra and his guests break it down in simple terms,
highlight where to focus your energy, and give you simple
(15:48):
steps to advocate efficiently. So if you've ever walked out
of a school meeting wondering what just happened, go search
for Opportunity Gap in your podcast app. That's Opportunity Gap.
(16:11):
I want to talk a little bit more about data.
I want to backtrack just a second, because you talked
a lot about testing and benchmarks and things like that.
What other data can parents use or what other data
is appropriate to use when we're looking at goal setting
and accommodations.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Yeah, so good question. I think if you're going to
the IEP meeting and you see these you know you've
gotten the documented bands, and you see these goals, and
you're not sure where they came from. Right, those are
great questions to ask, but prior to even the IEP
meeting or even after throughout the course of the year.
So you're going to meet once a year for this IEP,
(16:50):
right every three years for trianni or eligibility, But throughout
the course of the year you want to say, like,
you've given me a goal on the IEP. That's dou
July fourteenth, twenty twenty six. Say we had the IEP
meeting today. At some point you are expecting that they
are progress monitoring, right, They're maintaining some sort of data
(17:12):
that supports either we're progressing. You're getting a progress report,
is it not introduced? Are we not progressing all those things?
And so where is this data coming from? Progress reports
are a really good collection point, Right, you should get
one every quarter that's to focus solely on special ed.
It should have the goals and whether it's introduced and
(17:33):
how they're doing in that. That's one piece of data.
Other pieces like benchmark assessments, map a net things like that.
Statewide assessments will be one piece of data. But I
would also ask that special ed teacher, so what assessment
or what pre or post tests are you giving that
indicates growth on this goal? If you're spending time with
(17:56):
my child in the classroom, out of the classroom, are
you taking notes? Are you submitting something? What are you
collecting and where is that found? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Yeah, and things like examples of school work. Maybe you know.
One thing that we struggled with as far as like
is this helping? Are we making progress on the school
side of things? Was help with executive functioning, planning and
organizing right using some sort of calendar or planner, which
my kid never did and nobody could make him right,
(18:27):
and making him wasn't the point anyway, But like that
was something that I would just get. It's ongoing, it's ongoing.
Like those progress reports that you mentioned that come with
a report card every quarter. Every goal just said ongoing
every time, and I'm like.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Like is their progress? This doesn't tell me anything? Like
I even just stopped opening them. They were pointless because
they weren't telling me anything.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Yeah, I think you can ask each teacher. You know,
you can say like, can I have a couple of
wor examples that they've done over the last couple of
I just want to see, you know, if I'm getting
the same thing at home that you're getting in school. Yeah,
something as easy as that, right, YEA, Like when I'm
doing homework with them, I'm noticing their handwriting, or you
can have some sort of area of concern for you
(19:13):
and the teacher usually will say, yeah, let me show you.
You know, hopefully they're saying that, yeah, and you are
just putting that in a folder, collecting and saying, do
I personally see improvement? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Yeah? And I learned like in the upper grades, middle
school and high school, when there was more than one teacher,
they always wanted to send a representative of the team.
And after a couple of those, I was like, no,
we need to find a time where everybody can be here. Yeah,
because things get lost in translation from one teacher to another.
They might add their own personal opinions about things and
(19:49):
color what they're sharing, right, And if that information even
got to every teacher, it was a miracle because they're
so overworked and there's so right like, there's so many
obstacles in the way of having a special education system
that's actually what kids need to deserve. And I get that,
and it is part of the equation, even though it's
(20:10):
not supposed to be. Yeah, but it's like, then, how
do we keep going forward with that? You know? How
do we navigate where we are right now, what the
possibilities are right now, but also ensure that our kid
is getting the best education that they can. And it
can be such a struggle. And I think you know,
one of the things too, that I learned to do
(20:32):
early on was to come at it with a very
collaborative tone. I need your help, you honestly need my
help because I know this kid. I live with this kid, right,
and how can we do this together?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Correct? Yeah, and really saying like, so, if you're having
issues or you have some questions or concerns, call me.
I always tell parents sometimes it's not the what, it's
the how. And a lot of times for parents, we
go into a school environment once we're fed up. Yeah,
you know, we're already on ten and so that team
(21:09):
has come to expect that you don't have faith in them,
and maybe you don't, Okay, right, but some of this
is I need to put expectations when my child starts
the year. Let's sit down and talk. Here are the
things that I know to be true about my child
in school and out of school, and here's what I
can offer you in terms of support.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Yeah, it's so important to be proactive because when you're
not proactive, you lose months. Oh of education and you
lose months. It takes you know, two to four weeks
for the teacher to be like, oh, there's something going
on here and this is a struggle, and then you know,
maybe there needs to be evaluations and then that's a
sixty day clock, and like, you lose months if you
(21:52):
don't approach it at the beginning. And I think a
lot of parents fear giving the wrong impression of their
kid coming in and basically it's sounding like their kid's
going to be a troublemaker or really difficult, and we
don't want to do that. So how do we strike
the balance there between the two with being proactive making
(22:14):
sure that we sort of hit the ground running, but
we're not sending the message that you're gonna have to
work much harder with my kid, or my kid's gonna
cause you problems or I'm gonna be in your face
all year or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Yeah, so I think there's a couple of things. Right,
if your a child is starting a new school or
a new grade, what I would do as a parent
of a child who has a five or four plan
or IEP, I would email that teacher start at school
before school and say, Hey, I'm Michelle's mom. I just
want to give you some background I'm attaching her IEP.
(22:52):
I love to sit down and talk with you if
there are any conference times available, just to kind of
talk about what went well last year, see if we
can can take you that and then you know, give
you give you some of the ins and outs so
you don't have to learn her, you know, just purely
by yourself in the first few weeks of school. And
I'd offer a home visit or even a zoom or
(23:13):
I can come in and meet with you, or you
can meet her. So I'd be open to that initial like, hey,
I want success for you and her, right, yeah, this
is what this looks like. And I would be honest.
I would say, here are you know a couple of
triggers if she has some, and here are some things
that we realize in quarter for quarter three of last
(23:36):
year that really work well. Do you have a system
that this might be incorporated in? Yeah, so just being
more curious. Right, the way we would be with our
children is like, if we want to know something, we
start asking various unassuming questions. I would say to that
teacher the same thing. I would just get very curious
about their method and if they have taught other children
(23:59):
with a similar pro file, what's worked for them. And
we don't know everything, but we know some and we
can share strategies. The other thing that I would say
is that I notice, and I don't know if this
is a thing for you, but I notice that parents
tend to get more a little bit more frantic or
anxious in these gateway grades. So eighth grade, right, I'm
(24:20):
running out of time. My child is graduating soon, and
I don't know that they are going to be ready
for graduation for twelfth grade. And so we start seeing
the I end a meeting. I need a meeting. I
need to know what they're learning. I need to know
what they're doing. I need to know all those things.
And so if your child has an IEP in these
(24:43):
you know, high school fourteen and up grades. Secondary transition
is super important. Right, What are this child's goals? What
are this parent's goals? What's the school's goals? So anticipating
more meeting time, more expiration, but I do see that
there gets a little bit more. We're of an uptick
in where are we. We're running out of town. I'm
(25:03):
losing my child. They're going to go to college or
even a trade soon and I don't know that they
have skills?
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Yeah, right? Or if elementary school is this hard, middle
school is going to kill us. If middle school is
this hard, high school is going to kill us? You
know that?
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Are we going to graduate from high school based on
what I know to be true about third through eighth grade?
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Right?
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Or are we looking at an extended do we need
until twenty two? What are my child's options? Right? What
if my child is electing not to go to college
or maybe they you know, the parent has a different
goal for them. What are my options within the district? Even?
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Yeah? And really asking about those options? You know, there
were times where I asked for things that I thought
for sure we're going to be a no, But I
felt like I had to ask because they felt like
the right thing. Like in high school, going to part
time in person and part time online at home because
that environment for eight hours a day was traumatizing my
(26:05):
kid and me and you know, and so and I
was like, you know, they have said no to far,
far less than this. This is not going to be
a conversation I win. And then they were like, oh, yeah,
let's explore that because at that point they saw and
I have to say too, we had an ally and
administration at that point. Yeah, And I was very intentional
(26:29):
in creating that.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Right.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
I needed somebody really got my kid, and that was
an important thing. And that's why I tell parents all
the time, Like, first thing, when you enter a new
school building, you've got to cultivate an ally. You've got
to cultivate someone who your kid can go to when
they're freaking out. And they're not going to say, but
you're supposed to be in class, correct, They're going to say,
how can I help you? What do you need? Right,
(26:53):
We've got to find those people for our kids.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Yeah, I mean, just to touch on that, I think
you're absolutely right. I also think that we need to
find that for ourselves. We parents show up very emotional
when we feel that our child has missed something that
other children have access to, that they should have gotten,
something that other children have received, you know, or that
(27:18):
we're running out of time, or something has happened with
the IEP. A lot of times we need to bring
either an advocate or a family member or someone who
equally who knows that child just as well, but can
speak from a very non emotional space, like you know,
these are our goals, these are Michelle's goals. You know,
(27:38):
as a student and as a school we see you trying.
But here's where we feel like there's a gap that
has to be bridged. Oftentimes, once parents are emotionally entwined
and they don't have the best interest for my child
or they're missing this, there is this this tense meeting
that happens that almost you could lose your ally, You
(27:59):
can lose your lose your team that way, and a
lot of times you need that team. They're spending as
much time with their child as you are, right, you
need them to be on We're pushing kids to and
through right and keeping at the back of my mind
Michelle is saying she wants to do something with her hands,
like what do we have here? Or you know, just
(28:20):
whatever the thing is, she wants to be a nurse. Okay,
so we have an allied health. Let's even get our
mentor who's already gone through that program, you know, having
someone who has kind of a top of the mind.
What are some of the ways even if they're not
ready for this? What's the first step? And like you said,
it may not always be the staff, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Or it could be you know, the custodian is the ally,
it could be any friendly adult in the building can
be your kid's ally. Before we close, I want to
just ask you really quickly. I know they're going to
be parents listening who feel like they've hit a wall.
Oh yeah, they've just hit the wall and they don't
(29:02):
know what to do anymore. Do you have some words
of hope that you can offer? Can you give us
like the first one tiny step that they can take.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Yeah, So, if you feel like you've hit a wall
and you're really really frustrated, you're worried for your child,
and or don't feel like the team is really hearing you,
the first thing I would do is gather all your
documents as far back as you can go, every eval,
every IEP, every piece of data, request the cumulative file
even and I would say, look up advocacy groups or
(29:37):
special education groups in your city, town, area, state, whatever
it is, and reach out to them and just see, like,
how can I get more support from my child and
what does this look like? And they may be able
to even if they are you know, out of your
price range or booked, you know, completely booked up, and
may be able to offer resources that your school may
(29:59):
not give you. So I would say that one the
first thing is to gather all your documentation and then
look up some resources and start talking to some folks.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Good advice, Good advice, Michelle. Will you tell everybody where
they can go online to learn more about you, the
work you do, to connect with you, to learn more
from you, all that good stuff.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Sure? So. You can always find me on my website
which is Fairgreenconsulting dot com. I do a couple of
little parent rants on TikTok from time to time. I'm
Olivia Pope of special led over there, and I have
a decoding special education series that you can be linked
through my website to join. It has a newsletter for
(30:43):
parents as well as some courses on getting more familiar
with special education topics.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Nice, and I only all that up in the show
notes for everybody, so it's really easy to get to
and that's upparenting ADHD and autism dot com slash three
two five. Think we could talk all day about this.
There's so much more to share, but this I think
has been a great sort of springboard for parents who
(31:09):
are feeling stuck or feeling down about, you know, having
to continue to fight so hard. And I really appreciate that.
I appreciate the work that you're doing, and it's been
really lovely to chat with you.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Yeah. I loved being here. And as a school year starts,
just keep up the fight. You're your child's biggest evocate.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yeah, one hundred percent. Thank you so much. I will
see everybody next time. Take good care. I see you.
You're doing hard and meaningful work and you don't have
to do it alone. If you found this episode helpful,
share it with someone who needs it and leave a
quick review so others can find this support too. When
(31:55):
you're ready for next steps, the Regulated Kids Project is
here with the tool, coaching, and community to help you
raise a more regulated, resilient child. Get more info at
regulated kids dot com.
A lot of times for parents, we go into a
school environment once we're fed up, so that team has
come to expect that you don't have faith in them,
and maybe you don't, Okay, but some of this is
I need to put expectations when my child starts the year.
Let's sit down and talk. Here are the things that
I know to be true about my child in school
(00:23):
and out of school, and here's what I can offer
you in terms of support.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Welcome to Beautifully Complex, where we unpack what it really
means to parent neurodivergent kids with dignity and clarity. I'm
Penny Williams, and I know firsthand how tough and transformative
this journey can be. Let's dive in and discover how
to raise regulated, resilient, beautifully complex kids together. Oh and
(00:49):
if you want more support, join our free community at
hub dot beautifully complex dot life. Welcome back to Beautifully
Complex everyone. I am really excited to have Michelle, p
and m here with me to talk about special education
(01:10):
and all of the things I EP and learning differences
and advocacy. And I think that advocacy piece is really
hard for a lot of parents, and it's hard for
a lot of our kids too to self advocate. So
I'm really looking forward to this conversation and getting your
(01:32):
insights Michelle. But will you start just by letting everybody
know who you are and what you do.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Sure, I'm Michelle P and M and I would consider
myself a career special educator. So I just am about
to hit my twenty fourth year in education. Started out
as a teacher, eventually became a principal, worked for the
superintendent in DC and the Department of SPECIALID, and then
went on to start my own consulting business, which is
(02:00):
very much school facing and so supporting schools with developing
a special ED culture that includes parents, that maintains compliance
and gets our kids growing through into, you know, whatever
their desired outcome is. And so I try to work
really hard to help my schools understand just what it
(02:23):
looks like from a parent's perspective, but also what it
looks like to have a really high functioning special ED
program where parents have hope and you know, inclusive practices
for their children. I'm excited to be here with you.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
You use the word culture, and that is standing out
to me because we haven't in general fostered a culture
of inclusion. You know, in our history when I was
in school, all the special ed kids were you know,
in the trailers out back and completely separated. They rode
a separate bus, they had a separate lunchtime. Everything was separate.
(03:04):
And I think we're still dragging some of that with us, right,
and we need to change it.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yeah, no, absolutely, I mean so there's two parts to this.
I had a school leader who is also a form
She was my former supervisor, so when we know each
other well, and she said to me just two weeks ago,
she just took a CEO role at a charter school
(03:31):
and she said, Michelle, the number one order of business
is getting those kids out of the parking lot. She said,
we have three trailers where the autistic program is housed,
and it's on our land, right. It's not in the building,
it's in temporaries, right. And I said, oh my god,
I cringe thinking about if it's snow on the ground
(03:54):
and they're transitioning to lunch or you know, the weather.
And she said, number one order of business, get those
kids out of those temporaries, like get our babies back
in the building with us. And I just thought it's
twenty twenty five. I remember being in high school and
all the special ed classes were on one hallway that
(04:15):
was not super well lit, classrooms at no windows, and
I wasn't super aware of special education language at that time.
Even though my grandmother was a teacher. We used to
call them Eddie's. We didn't even have any understanding of
how offensive that would be. And I'm thinking, Okay, we
surely have made growth now, and there are little things
(04:36):
that continue to remind me, like you said, that we
are maybe not necessarily functioning and inclusive.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Stuck yep, stuck. Yeah, And even you know, minor divergent
kid graduated high school, oh my gosh, almost four years ago,
maybe now, and you know, not so long ago, and
there was a special ed hall. You know, it was
still separate. It was in the building, some of it,
(05:04):
but I remember his special ed study hall was in
a temporary you had to go outside and go to it,
you know. And it's like it just gave me flashbacks
of when I was in high school. The middle school
was next door and I was going over. It was
some sort of class volunteer thing, and I was working
in a special ed class back then, and it was
(05:26):
like that, right, and I'm like, oh my gosh, we're
still doing this the same in so many ways. So
how do we make change. How can you know, one
singular parent, one singular advocate start to chip away at
that and make change.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Yes, that's a good question. I think it's sometimes hard
to say depending on the school. Where the school is
located in the metropolitan city or is it in the suburbs,
is it in a rural environment where you don't have
a lot of resources. I mean, you have to look
at that first. But I think you know that old saying,
the hit dog barks, whatever you draw attention to, the
(06:07):
loudest thing is the thing that you focus on. And
I always tell my parents one get everything in writing.
So even if you have a conversation in person, do
a follow up. So I thank you for stopping and
talking to me today. Here's what I took away from
our conversation. I think when parents ask for something, just
like we've been instructed in kind of the medical world
(06:29):
to say, if you're refusing that test, I would like
a document in my file. I think the same thing
happens for children. Right, we have to say, like, if
you're refusing this testing, if you're refusing, you know, kind
of the things that I am asking for to see,
you know, can we collect more data? Can we do
X y Z? I want that in writing, right, I
want something that supports the why. And so I would
(06:50):
say there's two parts of this. There's the asking and advocating,
and then there's the other part of what are your
rights as a parent and and really being clear and
upfront in those meetings and saying like, these are my
goals for my children, and do these goals that you
all are proposing aligned with that? A really realistic conversation
(07:13):
around that. I don't know that parents truly understand that
they are the expert also in their children's world. They've
taken care of them. All educators aren't an expert. And
specially you can come to the table with as much
data as the school team is, you know.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I think because it doesn't often feel like we're part
of the team, you know, and it's hard to rectify that.
Like when I would show up at a school meeting,
it's just me and my husband couldn't necessarily get off
work most of the time, it wasn't feasible, and so
it was me and then a room full of school personnel,
(07:53):
and how do you walk into that situation and not
feel like you're not really part of the team. You
know feels and maybe that's a good question. How do
we walk in and create this culture that you had
talked about where we can be part of the team.
How do we set that up?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Yeah, so I think one thing parents should do prior
to you even walking into that meeting, right, is making
sure that you are equipped with everything that's going to
be discussed. So if you're reviewing an evaluation, if you're
reviewing new goals, then as a parent, you have a
right to say I need that in advance because I
(08:35):
need to share that with my pediatrician, I need to
share that with my advocate, I need to talk to
my husband about that, or my child's you know, family members.
And then also, you know I tell parents all the
time in this new age of technology, run that report
through chat GBT and say, explain this like a fourth
or fifth grader. Right, even if you love that are
(08:57):
an attorney, even if you are one one of the
most highly qualified people in the United States, some of
that language is foreign if you are not specifically working
in special needs. So run that through some type of
technology and say, explain to me what the outcomes will
be for my child, What these goals mean for my child.
(09:18):
What is an example of a problem or you know,
a math problem or a reading task that would be
applicable to this goal. Explain to me all these things,
and then also give me some questions to ask the team,
you know, asking for problems. Give me five questions to
put in front of the team that will help me
dissect if these goals are appropriate for my child. Yeah, right,
(09:42):
So just coming equipped with some of that and saying, okay,
I need this ten days in advance because I need
to be able to review it, and then coming in
with your questions, your notes and all those things, and
asking the team, I'd like to review last year's goals.
I need to make sure that we made mastery needs
to make sure that we're closing this gap that we
are seeing. And I also want to see current data.
(10:04):
Where are we on our benchmark assessments? How did they
score in state wide assessments? Did they make the growth
that we are expecting based on the goals that we proposed?
Those are very important questions to ask. To show up
in a meeting and say like, hey, listen, we are
all here for Michelle, and Michelle's goal, her personal goal
(10:26):
is XYZ. I need to make sure this IP aligns
with that.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah. Yeah, and that data like, yeah, it's lacking. Honestly,
you know, my kid went through thirteen years of school.
Never once was I given data, and if I asked
for it, it was like, oh, well, give us a
month to put that together, you know. And so I
was constantly like, we're not meeting this goal, we're not measuring,
(10:52):
like we're still struggling, and there was nothing. So I
don't want to use the term holding their feet to
the fire, but like, how do we say I need
the data? We all need the data. It's not just
me the parent, but we all need to be seeing
if what we have determined is going to help this
(11:12):
kid get educated and learn is actually doing that or not.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Yeah, I mean where I currently live, right, I'll say this.
My daughter, who was my youngest child, who is not
in any way has a special education diagnosis or Nora divergence.
She comes home with this dibble's data right every trimester
or every you know, three times a year, and you know,
(11:38):
sometimes I even send it to my teacher friends and
I'm like, is she on talking? Like what does this mean?
And I remember people saying like, so you've dibbled and
now what right? Yeah? What does this mean? And so
I think it's important to say, like, I know that
you ask for my child to be on time and
be fed in the morning and not be late for
those three days in September or October or January or February.
(12:01):
Where is that? When do I get a copy of that?
And so being really proactive around paying attention to you
took an exam today? Okay, so do you know how
you did? Did your teacher give you that? Can you
email that to me? Because I need that for the
IEP meeting. And so sometimes not waiting until right before
the IEP meeting or at the IEP meeting makes sense.
(12:21):
Sometimes it's not possible, but I think asking like, hey,
I know my child took some benchmark assessments and you're
using that to determine things for your school. I'm using
that to determine things for my child, and just kind
of saying I'm expecting that to come home every time
and again when you are present and you're asking and
it doesn't get fulfilled. You know, sometimes I even myself.
(12:43):
I don't tell schools who I am. When my children
are there, I'm like, I don't tell them that I'm
a special at consultant and that I know all these things.
But when I ask for something and it's not fulfilled,
I start I start looking on the district's website, who's
the area superintendent, who's the executive director, who oversees this?
So that when I send this email and say, last month,
(13:04):
on June fifteenth, I asked for this data, and thirty
days later, I've yet to receive it, And so I
just want to know. Should I expect mister John Smith
to be helping me get that data?
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Right, Yeah, so we're going outside of the school now
because you have a history of ignoring your parents, and
so I usually put that on a record. I don't
trust anything in person conversation without following up.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Yeah for sure. Always get it in writing, or always
chuck back in and say this is how I understood, yes,
the outcomes of this meeting and who's going to do
what and how we're going forward yep. And that gives
them the opportunity to say no, you're misunderstanding, and it
gives you the opportunity to get it writing right that
follow through.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I think the biggest tool is diligence, right, Like we
have to stay the course. We can't say, oh my god,
they didn't respond in a certain time, so I'm gonna drop
it all.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Yeah, And it's hard. It's hard for parents. They don't
want to be that parent. They don't want to rock
the boat. They don't want to look like they think
that their kid deserves more than other kids or any
of these things right that get in our way. So
it's really tough emotionally for a lot of parents. And
(14:21):
then you know, if you're a parent with anxiety or
like me, social anxiety, Like I was sick to my
stomach just going to a meeting with people I didn't
know right, So I was like off kilter already. But
then you focus on your kid and you get to
a place where you're just like, all right, this is
what my kid needs, this is who my kid needs
me to be, and this is how I have to
(14:43):
show up for them and making it about our kids again,
sort of refocusing there. If you've been listening for a while,
you're familiar with my back to school prep week where
I set neurodivergent kids and their families for success right
when the school year starts. There's another podcast that will
(15:05):
help you navigate the rest of the school year. It's
called Opportunity Gap, and it's all about special education. Let's
be real, all those acronyms alone, I EP five, oh four, FBA,
BP can be overwhelming. All you want is for your
kid to have the opportunity for success. Right you'll hear
(15:25):
from special educators, child psychologists, and other learning experts who
know their stuff and give you realistic advocacy tools. I
listened to Opportunity Gap and I was blown away. Julian
Savedra and his guests break it down in simple terms,
highlight where to focus your energy, and give you simple
(15:48):
steps to advocate efficiently. So if you've ever walked out
of a school meeting wondering what just happened, go search
for Opportunity Gap in your podcast app. That's Opportunity Gap.
(16:11):
I want to talk a little bit more about data.
I want to backtrack just a second, because you talked
a lot about testing and benchmarks and things like that.
What other data can parents use or what other data
is appropriate to use when we're looking at goal setting
and accommodations.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Yeah, so good question. I think if you're going to
the IEP meeting and you see these you know you've
gotten the documented bands, and you see these goals, and
you're not sure where they came from. Right, those are
great questions to ask, but prior to even the IEP
meeting or even after throughout the course of the year.
So you're going to meet once a year for this IEP,
(16:50):
right every three years for trianni or eligibility, But throughout
the course of the year you want to say, like,
you've given me a goal on the IEP. That's dou
July fourteenth, twenty twenty six. Say we had the IEP
meeting today. At some point you are expecting that they
are progress monitoring, right, They're maintaining some sort of data
(17:12):
that supports either we're progressing. You're getting a progress report,
is it not introduced? Are we not progressing all those things?
And so where is this data coming from? Progress reports
are a really good collection point, Right, you should get
one every quarter that's to focus solely on special ed.
It should have the goals and whether it's introduced and
(17:33):
how they're doing in that. That's one piece of data.
Other pieces like benchmark assessments, map a net things like that.
Statewide assessments will be one piece of data. But I
would also ask that special ed teacher, so what assessment
or what pre or post tests are you giving that
indicates growth on this goal? If you're spending time with
(17:56):
my child in the classroom, out of the classroom, are
you taking notes? Are you submitting something? What are you
collecting and where is that found? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Yeah, and things like examples of school work. Maybe you know.
One thing that we struggled with as far as like
is this helping? Are we making progress on the school
side of things? Was help with executive functioning, planning and
organizing right using some sort of calendar or planner, which
my kid never did and nobody could make him right,
(18:27):
and making him wasn't the point anyway, But like that
was something that I would just get. It's ongoing, it's ongoing.
Like those progress reports that you mentioned that come with
a report card every quarter. Every goal just said ongoing
every time, and I'm like.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Like is their progress? This doesn't tell me anything? Like
I even just stopped opening them. They were pointless because
they weren't telling me anything.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Yeah, I think you can ask each teacher. You know,
you can say like, can I have a couple of
wor examples that they've done over the last couple of
I just want to see, you know, if I'm getting
the same thing at home that you're getting in school. Yeah,
something as easy as that, right, YEA, Like when I'm
doing homework with them, I'm noticing their handwriting, or you
can have some sort of area of concern for you
(19:13):
and the teacher usually will say, yeah, let me show you.
You know, hopefully they're saying that, yeah, and you are
just putting that in a folder, collecting and saying, do
I personally see improvement? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Yeah? And I learned like in the upper grades, middle
school and high school, when there was more than one teacher,
they always wanted to send a representative of the team.
And after a couple of those, I was like, no,
we need to find a time where everybody can be here. Yeah,
because things get lost in translation from one teacher to another.
They might add their own personal opinions about things and
(19:49):
color what they're sharing, right, And if that information even
got to every teacher, it was a miracle because they're
so overworked and there's so right like, there's so many
obstacles in the way of having a special education system
that's actually what kids need to deserve. And I get that,
and it is part of the equation, even though it's
(20:10):
not supposed to be. Yeah, but it's like, then, how
do we keep going forward with that? You know? How
do we navigate where we are right now, what the
possibilities are right now, but also ensure that our kid
is getting the best education that they can. And it
can be such a struggle. And I think you know,
one of the things too, that I learned to do
(20:32):
early on was to come at it with a very
collaborative tone. I need your help, you honestly need my
help because I know this kid. I live with this kid, right,
and how can we do this together?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Correct? Yeah, and really saying like, so, if you're having
issues or you have some questions or concerns, call me.
I always tell parents sometimes it's not the what, it's
the how. And a lot of times for parents, we
go into a school environment once we're fed up. Yeah,
you know, we're already on ten and so that team
(21:09):
has come to expect that you don't have faith in them,
and maybe you don't, Okay, right, but some of this
is I need to put expectations when my child starts
the year. Let's sit down and talk. Here are the
things that I know to be true about my child
in school and out of school, and here's what I
can offer you in terms of support.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Yeah, it's so important to be proactive because when you're
not proactive, you lose months. Oh of education and you
lose months. It takes you know, two to four weeks
for the teacher to be like, oh, there's something going
on here and this is a struggle, and then you know,
maybe there needs to be evaluations and then that's a
sixty day clock, and like, you lose months if you
(21:52):
don't approach it at the beginning. And I think a
lot of parents fear giving the wrong impression of their
kid coming in and basically it's sounding like their kid's
going to be a troublemaker or really difficult, and we
don't want to do that. So how do we strike
the balance there between the two with being proactive making
(22:14):
sure that we sort of hit the ground running, but
we're not sending the message that you're gonna have to
work much harder with my kid, or my kid's gonna
cause you problems or I'm gonna be in your face
all year or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Yeah, so I think there's a couple of things. Right,
if your a child is starting a new school or
a new grade, what I would do as a parent
of a child who has a five or four plan
or IEP, I would email that teacher start at school
before school and say, Hey, I'm Michelle's mom. I just
want to give you some background I'm attaching her IEP.
(22:52):
I love to sit down and talk with you if
there are any conference times available, just to kind of
talk about what went well last year, see if we
can can take you that and then you know, give
you give you some of the ins and outs so
you don't have to learn her, you know, just purely
by yourself in the first few weeks of school. And
I'd offer a home visit or even a zoom or
(23:13):
I can come in and meet with you, or you
can meet her. So I'd be open to that initial like, hey,
I want success for you and her, right, yeah, this
is what this looks like. And I would be honest.
I would say, here are you know a couple of
triggers if she has some, and here are some things
that we realize in quarter for quarter three of last
(23:36):
year that really work well. Do you have a system
that this might be incorporated in? Yeah, so just being
more curious. Right, the way we would be with our
children is like, if we want to know something, we
start asking various unassuming questions. I would say to that
teacher the same thing. I would just get very curious
about their method and if they have taught other children
(23:59):
with a similar pro file, what's worked for them. And
we don't know everything, but we know some and we
can share strategies. The other thing that I would say
is that I notice, and I don't know if this
is a thing for you, but I notice that parents
tend to get more a little bit more frantic or
anxious in these gateway grades. So eighth grade, right, I'm
(24:20):
running out of time. My child is graduating soon, and
I don't know that they are going to be ready
for graduation for twelfth grade. And so we start seeing
the I end a meeting. I need a meeting. I
need to know what they're learning. I need to know
what they're doing. I need to know all those things.
And so if your child has an IEP in these
(24:43):
you know, high school fourteen and up grades. Secondary transition
is super important. Right, What are this child's goals? What
are this parent's goals? What's the school's goals? So anticipating
more meeting time, more expiration, but I do see that
there gets a little bit more. We're of an uptick
in where are we. We're running out of town. I'm
(25:03):
losing my child. They're going to go to college or
even a trade soon and I don't know that they
have skills?
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Yeah, right? Or if elementary school is this hard, middle
school is going to kill us. If middle school is
this hard, high school is going to kill us? You
know that?
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Are we going to graduate from high school based on
what I know to be true about third through eighth grade?
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Right?
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Or are we looking at an extended do we need
until twenty two? What are my child's options? Right? What
if my child is electing not to go to college
or maybe they you know, the parent has a different
goal for them. What are my options within the district? Even?
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Yeah? And really asking about those options? You know, there
were times where I asked for things that I thought
for sure we're going to be a no, But I
felt like I had to ask because they felt like
the right thing. Like in high school, going to part
time in person and part time online at home because
that environment for eight hours a day was traumatizing my
(26:05):
kid and me and you know, and so and I
was like, you know, they have said no to far,
far less than this. This is not going to be
a conversation I win. And then they were like, oh, yeah,
let's explore that because at that point they saw and
I have to say too, we had an ally and
administration at that point. Yeah, And I was very intentional
(26:29):
in creating that.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Right.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
I needed somebody really got my kid, and that was
an important thing. And that's why I tell parents all
the time, Like, first thing, when you enter a new
school building, you've got to cultivate an ally. You've got
to cultivate someone who your kid can go to when
they're freaking out. And they're not going to say, but
you're supposed to be in class, correct, They're going to say,
how can I help you? What do you need? Right,
(26:53):
We've got to find those people for our kids.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Yeah, I mean, just to touch on that, I think
you're absolutely right. I also think that we need to
find that for ourselves. We parents show up very emotional
when we feel that our child has missed something that
other children have access to, that they should have gotten,
something that other children have received, you know, or that
(27:18):
we're running out of time, or something has happened with
the IEP. A lot of times we need to bring
either an advocate or a family member or someone who
equally who knows that child just as well, but can
speak from a very non emotional space, like you know,
these are our goals, these are Michelle's goals. You know,
(27:38):
as a student and as a school we see you trying.
But here's where we feel like there's a gap that
has to be bridged. Oftentimes, once parents are emotionally entwined
and they don't have the best interest for my child
or they're missing this, there is this this tense meeting
that happens that almost you could lose your ally, You
(27:59):
can lose your lose your team that way, and a
lot of times you need that team. They're spending as
much time with their child as you are, right, you
need them to be on We're pushing kids to and
through right and keeping at the back of my mind
Michelle is saying she wants to do something with her hands,
like what do we have here? Or you know, just
(28:20):
whatever the thing is, she wants to be a nurse. Okay,
so we have an allied health. Let's even get our
mentor who's already gone through that program, you know, having
someone who has kind of a top of the mind.
What are some of the ways even if they're not
ready for this? What's the first step? And like you said,
it may not always be the staff, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Or it could be you know, the custodian is the ally,
it could be any friendly adult in the building can
be your kid's ally. Before we close, I want to
just ask you really quickly. I know they're going to
be parents listening who feel like they've hit a wall.
Oh yeah, they've just hit the wall and they don't
(29:02):
know what to do anymore. Do you have some words
of hope that you can offer? Can you give us
like the first one tiny step that they can take.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Yeah, So, if you feel like you've hit a wall
and you're really really frustrated, you're worried for your child,
and or don't feel like the team is really hearing you,
the first thing I would do is gather all your
documents as far back as you can go, every eval,
every IEP, every piece of data, request the cumulative file
even and I would say, look up advocacy groups or
(29:37):
special education groups in your city, town, area, state, whatever
it is, and reach out to them and just see, like,
how can I get more support from my child and
what does this look like? And they may be able
to even if they are you know, out of your
price range or booked, you know, completely booked up, and
may be able to offer resources that your school may
(29:59):
not give you. So I would say that one the
first thing is to gather all your documentation and then
look up some resources and start talking to some folks.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Good advice, Good advice, Michelle. Will you tell everybody where
they can go online to learn more about you, the
work you do, to connect with you, to learn more
from you, all that good stuff.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Sure? So. You can always find me on my website
which is Fairgreenconsulting dot com. I do a couple of
little parent rants on TikTok from time to time. I'm
Olivia Pope of special led over there, and I have
a decoding special education series that you can be linked
through my website to join. It has a newsletter for
(30:43):
parents as well as some courses on getting more familiar
with special education topics.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Nice, and I only all that up in the show
notes for everybody, so it's really easy to get to
and that's upparenting ADHD and autism dot com slash three
two five. Think we could talk all day about this.
There's so much more to share, but this I think
has been a great sort of springboard for parents who
(31:09):
are feeling stuck or feeling down about, you know, having
to continue to fight so hard. And I really appreciate that.
I appreciate the work that you're doing, and it's been
really lovely to chat with you.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Yeah. I loved being here. And as a school year starts,
just keep up the fight. You're your child's biggest evocate.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yeah, one hundred percent. Thank you so much. I will
see everybody next time. Take good care. I see you.
You're doing hard and meaningful work and you don't have
to do it alone. If you found this episode helpful,
share it with someone who needs it and leave a
quick review so others can find this support too. When
(31:55):
you're ready for next steps, the Regulated Kids Project is
here with the tool, coaching, and community to help you
raise a more regulated, resilient child. Get more info at
regulated kids dot com.
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