October 7, 2025 • 40 mins
On today’s episode, Whitney Akin shares her beautiful heart for serving women and her lifelong struggle with living seen. Through the story of Hagar and other biblical characters, Whitney has discovered the relentless heart of God in pursuit of His daughters. She is a kindred spirit whose life work includes sharing this good news with women through her writing, speaking, and podcast.
For those feeling overlooked, Whitney offers hope and practical steps toward living seen. Listen in and find, in Whitney, another kindred spirit whose words are a balm for the lonely soul.
Click here for show notes and to connect with Whitney Akin.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And so I just think, like when she's sitting at the
edge of the wilderness and she'sgoing back toward Egypt, god
could just let her go, like itwould have been such an easy out
.
He didn't have to stop herthere, he didn't have to find
her, he didn't have to call hername, but he did.
And so for me, what Hagar doesis it shows me the beautiful
character of God.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Hi, friend, if you've ever wondered how God's Word
connects with the messy, brokenparts of your story, you're in
the right place.
Welcome to Beauty in theBrokenness, where we have honest
conversations about the Bible,our real-life struggles and the
hope God brings for healing.
I'm your host, teresa Whiting,an author, bible teacher and
(00:44):
trauma-informed life coach, butmostly a friend and fellow
struggler.
No matter who you are or whereyou've been, I'm inviting you to
encounter the God of rescue,redemption and restoration, the
God who is still creating beautyright in the midst of your
brokenness.
Beauty right in the midst ofyour brokenness.
(01:05):
Well, welcome, friends.
I'm so excited to introduce youto my guest today, whitney Akin.
Whitney is a speaker, podcasthost, bible teacher and author
of Overlooked Finding your Worthwhen you Feel All Alone.
Whitney's heart is to equip theaverage Christian to know God,
study His Word and fall in lovewith Jesus, which I think are
(01:28):
pretty awesome goals, if you askme.
Whitney lives near Atlanta,georgia, with her high school
sweetheart, eli, and their threecrazy beautiful kids.
So welcome, whitney.
I'm so glad you're here.
I would love it if you wouldtell the listeners a little bit
more about who you are and whatyou do.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Well, thank you so much for having me on the
podcast.
I'm excited to be here with you.
Yeah, I love God's Word and Ithink that's sort of the
catalyst behind all the thingsthat have sprouted from that.
I've really loved God's Wordsince I was probably 13 or so
and really kind of got intostudying it, and it's been a
(02:08):
journey of growing in it alongthe way.
I also love to be able to speakand minister to women, which is
not actually always beensomething that I love to do, but
it's a desire God has developedin me, and so being an author
goes along with that.
Being able to speak and sharethrough my words publicly, but
(02:31):
then my words in writing, issuch a gift and a blessing to be
able to do.
I speak in my book a lot aboutjust meeting women in a place
where they might feel unseen,and so that's a big theme of my
ministry and what I talk about.
And then I host a podcast wherewe study a book of the Bible
together in each season, and sothat's a big theme of my
ministry and what I talk about.
And then I host a podcast wherewe study a book of the Bible
together in each season, and sothat's fun and kind of
(02:51):
personally challenging for me,because it means I have to keep
up with studying for myself, andso that's fun.
I am a mom to three kids.
I homeschool them, and so wejust started our homeschool year
.
I have a sixth grader, a fourthgrader and a first grader.
This year.
So middle school and juststarting elementary, so that
keeps me very busy.
(03:12):
And then my husband and I run anonprofit ministry together
called M25 Barbecue and we serveall over in and around Atlanta.
We serve underservedcommunities free meals and while
we feed them we connect withthe local church to share the
gospel with them and give themresources to connect to a church
near them, and so we're out ata different location every week
(03:33):
doing that.
So that's such a blessing and aprivilege to be able to do as
well.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Wow, that's amazing.
I didn't realize you had thatministry.
That is beautiful.
What a neat way to minister topeople and kind of meet their
physical needs and open the door, hopefully, for spiritual
conversations.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Yeah, exactly that's really neat.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I love that.
Well, as you mentioned, and Imentioned too, you are an author
of this book which I'm holdingup for anybody on YouTube, and
the book is called OverlookedFinding your Worth when you Feel
All Alone.
And I have been reading andenjoying it.
I've been devouring it.
I got it a few days ago and I'malready halfway through.
(04:13):
So tell me, tell the listenersactually what's the heart behind
your book?
Why did you write that?
You mentioned a little bit ofyour heartbeat, which goes
perfectly by the way with thisseries, because we are in what
we were calling the scene series.
It's all about being seen.
(04:35):
So tell me and tell us aboutyour heart.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Well, there was a point I guess it was in 2019,
2020, where I really felt likethe Lord was laying on my heart
to write for Him.
I had been a writer a technicalwriter, and a freelance writer
for a while, but never writingmy own stuff and never really
Christian material.
And though I was a Christian, Ijust was working in a
professional capacity.
And so I was like, well, whatin the world am I going to write
(05:00):
?
And they say write what youknow.
And so the first thing that Ibegan to think about was this
feeling that I had struggledwith for my whole life, and I
really didn't know what to like,how to put words to it.
But it was this feeling ofbeing unseen.
Some of it is, you know,personality.
I'm an introvert.
As a child I was very shy, butas I began to think about, it
(05:22):
really wasn't just a personalitything.
It was through differentseasons.
When I went through a season ofinfertility and I was really
suffering, I felt the samefeeling of being unseen.
It had nothing to do with mypersonality, this was just a
situation.
And just even in earlymotherhood, because God did
bless me with children, I feltthat sort of, you know, feeling
(05:44):
of being unseen in a totallydifferent way, because now I'm
this new mom and I'm isolated,and so I just thought how all of
these things were like a threadin my life, that was a common
theme, and I really wanted tolike nail it down and ask the
question why do I feel this way?
What even is this, and whatdoes the Bible have to say about
this thing that I felt my wholelife this?
Speaker 2 (06:05):
And what does?
The Bible have to say aboutthis thing that I felt my whole
life.
Yes, yes, Tell us a little bitabout how you came to that title
Overlooked.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Yeah, I think, in my search to really name it, I was
like, well, it's being unseen ormaybe unnoticed, and I was
going through all these wordsand, like a total writing nerd,
I like to look through thesaurusonline and so I was just, you
know, scrolling through thethesaurus one day and looking up
different words and that wordoverlooked just came up on a
list of you know who knows how Igot there of different searches
and when I saw it I startedcrying like immediately it was
(06:40):
just like an instant recognition, like like that's the word, and
I knew that.
That was the feeling that I hadfelt sort of all the different
seasons, in all the differentways I had felt overlooked and I
initially had put that down onmy book proposal and in the very
first draft and it went throughlots of iterations and usually
(07:01):
publishers change titles butamazingly it made it all the way
through to the end, because Ireally do think it captures the
feeling that I'm trying to talkabout in the book and I think
giving it a name is actuallyreally important because we
don't talk about it a lot aswomen, but all women are
experiencing this in somecapacity.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Yes, yes, I think it's so common I've had women
say to me nobody would even knowif I disappeared.
You know I just I feelinvisible and I know that in in
your book you talk about that.
You talk about that feeling.
Could you share a story, maybe,of a time in your life where
you felt invisible or unseen?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Oh, I could share a lot with you, teresa.
One I share in the book was,ironically, a story where I was
called invisible, which I don'tthink most people are actually
called that, but it was.
My husband, before we had thisnonprofit, was in ministry where
he traveled with his family andsang all over the Southeast,
and so I would go with him onthese events and feel very much
(08:04):
like I wanted to kind ofdisappear, because it was social
and I had to meet all thesepeople and I just felt like I
did not fill the role as likeminister's wife very well, and
so I tried.
But we were at a particularchurch for a week-long revival,
as they called it, and he wouldsing, you know, every day.
We had been there for the wholeweek and I had been there too.
(08:24):
And then the last night we wentto someone's house for dinner
and they were saying goodbye toeveryone and we were all kind of
lined up and they were goingthrough the line and just giving
hugs and saying bye after thisgreat week of ministry and the
host stopped with me and he saidoh, you're just invisible back
there, aren't you?
And he was not meaning anything.
(08:45):
Wonderful, nice man, but it waslike I hadn't been there all
week.
He looked at me like he'd neverseen me before and I thought,
wow, that's that feeling thatyou just described.
I thought I could have justnever been here all week and it
wouldn't have made anydifference to anybody at this
church, to anybody in thisministry.
And I felt so deeply hurt by itand so I went back.
(09:06):
We were staying at this housewith all these people and I just
went in the bathroom, lockedthe door and just cried and I
thought about it for weeks afterthat and I thought I know he
didn't mean it, but that momentmade me question why does this
hurt so badly?
And it's because it gets to theheart of this longing that we
really we really want to be seenand known, and so to be called
(09:29):
invisible is the opposite of allthat we really long for, and so
I hope none of your listenershave actually experienced being
called invisible in life.
But it is a great story to sortof get at the heart of what I
have experienced and what I'velearned so many other women have
as well.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah, I just want to press into one of the things
that you mentioned.
You know you talked about howbadly that hurt and you went and
you were crying, and which isso good and appropriate.
But what I love is that youdidn't just cry and then walk
away from the situation.
You stopped and you said whydoes this hurt so much?
(10:10):
And that's a scary question.
I think a lot of us have hurts,we have pain, and we don't want
to investigate.
Why is this so painful to me?
And so I just want to pointthat out as something that I
think you did really well, andeven to the listeners, who maybe
feel pain points or experiencetears or experience grief, and
(10:35):
it's easier to just be like,okay, well, that's over, that's
done, let's just get on, let'sget past this.
But when you stop and you say,wait, why is this hurt so much,
that's where growth occurs,that's where you can look at the
source of that pain.
Or you can look at God's wordand say, oh, this is something
that God addresses in his word,and on the podcast, we have been
(11:00):
talking about different womenin scripture.
Actually, we're right at thebeginning of the series and the
first woman that we're talkingabout is Hagar, and Hagar's
story, I know, resonates withyours.
I don't remember how you and Igot connected, but anytime I
read your work I'm like, oh yes,this is, this is a woman I need
(11:23):
to speak to and have on thepodcast, because we have a
similar heartbeat of you.
Know, she experienced such aprofound invisibility.
You know she was a slave, shewas a foreigner, she was a woman
All of these things thathappened to her, and then she
(11:44):
was an outcast, and if anybodyin scripture would have been or
would have felt invisible, itwould have been Hagar, and I
know you speak about her as well.
So I'd love to hear just kindof your perspective and maybe
how you resonate with Hagar'sstory.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Yeah, I love that.
If anyone in the Bible feltinvisible, it was Hagar.
And yet she's the one who givesGod the name.
You are the God who sees.
So how beautiful is that?
That gives me chills.
You know, hagar's story and mystory are nothing alike.
I can't relate to her story inso many ways, but yet I can
relate to her story in so manyways.
(12:22):
And I think the thing thatreally resonates with me about
Hagar's story is that when sheflees Sarah's household and she
hasn't done everything righteither the Bible is really clear
about the messiness of thestory between Sarah and Hagar.
But when she flees and she'sgoing back to Egypt, she's on
this trajectory back home andshe sits down at the spring of
water on the edge of thewilderness.
(12:43):
In that moment in Scriptureshe's not searching for God,
she's not calling out to him,she's not asking for help, she's
not saying why did you do that?
She's just going home and thescripture says that God found
her and he called her by name,which is so beautiful, because
in the passage, abraham andSarah only called her the slave
(13:05):
or the servant.
And God calls her by name andthen he gives her a command to
return and submit, which feelslike how dare you make her go
back to that abusive situation?
But in this moment, he givesher this prophecy which, when
you read it in scripture, soundsweird, but there's some really
key things.
He gives her the gender of herbaby, the name of her baby,
(13:25):
which is directly tied to thisHebrew God, and then he gives
this prophecy of her son thathe's going to have authority and
he's going to have freedom,which are things that Hagar has
never had before, and so in thismoment, god is so personally
meeting her in her situation andseeing her for who she is, that
her response is situation andseeing her for who she is, that
(13:48):
her response is you are God ofseeing.
And okay, god, I will go backto Sarah and submit to her, and
we know, if we read on Genesis,that their relationship was
still rough and she ends upbeing kicked out again from the
household, and so it's not eventhat the story is tied up with a
pretty bow.
But what I love about Hagar isthat she is not the main
character, she's not the motherof the covenant son.
(14:09):
She's really, by all accounts,she's a mistake.
She is this moment that Sarahhad a lack of faith and took
Hagar and said okay, you havethe child.
Sarah wasn't supposed to dothat, that wasn't part of God's
plan for her.
Hagar gets involved in this,but not by her own choice, she's
forced for her.
Hagar gets involved in this,but not by her own choice, she's
forced into it.
And so I just think, like whenshe's sitting at the edge of the
(14:29):
wilderness and she's going backtoward Egypt, god could have
just let her go, like it wouldhave been such an easy out.
He didn't have to stop her there, he didn't have to find her, he
didn't have to call her name,but he did.
And so for me, what Hagar doesis it shows me the beautiful
character of God that he sees.
He's not just concerned withthe main players, he loves them
(14:55):
too.
He loves the Abrahams and theSarahs, but he's seeing the
outcast and the ones that aren'tgoing to be the main characters
, and he's saying I love you, Isee you and I want to call you
back into my plan.
Even though you might not bethe mother of the covenant son,
I'm going to call you back intothis story.
And so I think that Hagarreveals so much about the
merciful, personal, lovingcharacter of who God is and when
(15:19):
she gives him that name.
It just makes it all that muchmore meaningful that it's coming
from her.
It just makes it all that muchmore meaningful that it's coming
from her.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Yes, yes, I had goosebumps through your whole
story.
I love her story, I love allthose aspects of it.
And you mentioned Ishmael.
You know that God gave him thatname and you know, we know, el
Royi means God sees and Ishmaelmeans God hears.
Yeah, el Royi means God seesand Ishmael means God hears.
(15:49):
So it's like every time shewould call his name, she would
remember that God heard herweeping, he heard her, he saw
her.
I mean it's just, it's soamazing and I think you know, in
scripture she's definitely thatperson who we would look at and
say she was overlooked.
We look at around us, at theworld today.
We know women who feel this way.
(16:09):
We ourselves, at times, havefelt this way of just feeling
like what I'm doing it doesn'tmatter.
Even if you're not a shy personlike you can be out in front of
everybody and still feel like,when you're all alone at the end
of the day, feel like itdoesn't even matter, I don't
(16:30):
matter, what I'm saying doesn'tmatter.
And then we compound that withthe world that we live in and
the absolute insanity of theinsane amount of opportunities
we have to be seen and known andwhich then brings it with it.
(16:51):
You know, the same ample amountof opportunity to feel
overlooked.
So I know you.
This is kind of one of yourpassions, it's one of mine.
I talk about this a lot on thepodcast um.
So talk about the the worldthat we live in and how it makes
women feel even more overlookedthan they ever have.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yeah, absolutely so.
You know, women have felt thisway since you know ancient Egypt
I mean ancient Israel, withHagar right.
So we're talking aboutsomething that's always been
true, but in the last 20 yearsit's become different for us
because the world has gotten somuch smaller in so many ways, so
(17:32):
where we maybe could onlycompare or feel overlooked in
our families or in our churchesor in our communities.
Now we have the opportunity tofeel overlooked or to be seen on
this grand scale, and I'mobviously referring mostly to
social media, but also to justthe way that we communicate as a
(17:52):
whole is a part of this.
Social media is probably themost obvious way, and so on
social media, the promise isthat you can be seen, and it's
really touching on this deepdesire that a lot of us haven't
even really admitted that wehave or want to admit that we
have or even really know that wehave.
But it's hitting on this desire, and so we're going to these
(18:14):
places in social media for thisidea that we can be seen and
known, and in the meantime,we're seeing and knowing other
people.
I was just reading a commenttoday and it said here I go
crying about a stranger's lifeagain, and I'm like that's the
crux of social media.
It's like we don't know them,but we know them, and so we feel
this connection and we long forthe same thing.
(18:36):
And social media promises thison such a grand scale that you
could be seen by millions.
And you don't have to beanybody to really accomplish
that.
You can just be a stay at homemom or you can just film cooking
or cleaning or your life orwhatever, and you can be seen on
this grand scale.
And so there's this temptationto meet this need that keeps
(18:56):
coming up.
But the dark side of it is,like you said, as much as
there's this promise that you'llbe seen and connected and known
, there's the flip side, thatactually more people are lonely
than ever before, more peopleare feeling overlooked, and so
when you look at statistics ofsocial media going up like this,
loneliness is like right here.
And it's increasing, andstatistics are saying one in
(19:18):
three Americans are lonely on aregular basis, and the highest
group is women.
And so we're sort of goingtoward a false promise that just
keeps delivering us theopposite of what it promises.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Yeah, and it's obvious why social media is
growing because there's thatinnate need, there's that desire
to be seen and known, and sosocial media promises that and
so, like you said, it doesn'tdeliver, but it just keeps.
It's like maybe this post,maybe maybe this will go viral,
maybe this will be the nextthing and and people will
(19:53):
comment or like, and and it'sjust it's I have strong feelings
about it, I'm not going to talkabout it right now.
I would love to talk a littlebit about the idea in your book
of living seen, because that'snot a sin.
I mean, that's a God-givendesire.
(20:15):
I think last week I was talkingto Kurt Thompson on the podcast
and he was talking about likewe were made for this.
This is how God wired ourbrains and our bodies was to be
seen.
So when you talk about livingseen, what do you mean by that?
Tell us what you mean and whatthat looks like in real life.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Yeah, just to go off of what you're just saying,
attention, which we immediatelyhave a connotation that's
negative when we hear the wordattention, like that's bad.
But attention wasn't meant tobe like good or bad.
Attention is a need that peoplehave and when you really look
into, like how psychologistsdefine needs biological human
needs love and belonging is oneof those needs and attention
(21:00):
healthy attention is one ofthose needs.
We know that, like withchildren, we get that.
We know children need healthyattention for their development,
but somewhere along the way wethink that that ends as adults
and we no longer really needthat and we're selfish if we
want that.
But that's not true.
It's still this biological needand so if you're hungry, you
eat right, and if you needattention, what do you do?
(21:22):
And so what we're doing iswe're eating a diet of like
candy by going to social media.
But what we really need is abalanced diet and we're not sure
where to look for that whenwe're trying to fill this need
of attention.
And that's where a living scenecomes in and the idea of that,
it's the idea number one.
You're not wrong for desiringthat, because you have a creator
who made that biological needwithin you because he can meet
(21:45):
it, he's able to meet it.
And so I went throughoutscripture and looked at
different accounts of people whoencounter God in like the
seeing God in a really specificway, and I go through four
different people in the book.
I go through Hagar and thenMoses and Paul, and I even
include Jesus, although hisstory is a little different
because he's God himself.
(22:05):
Moses and Paul and I eveninclude Jesus, although his
story is a little differentbecause he's God himself.
And I talk about some thingsthat happened in their life
after the moment that theyrealized, oh wow, god sees me.
Because it didn't stop withthat realization, it really went
on to transform how theyinteracted in the world around
them.
And so I talk about four things.
I talk about obedience,confidence, meekness and a
(22:27):
gospel perspective, and reallythose things are sort of the
living out, the active lifestyleof living seen.
It's kind of like walking aroundwith something in your back
pocket that's just a reminder,like I might feel really
overlooked and I might feelreally misunderstood in this
situation and I might feel likenobody cares.
But and I might feel likenobody cares, but I have this
(22:48):
truth that God sees me andbecause of that.
It can change the way I viewthe situation and this person
and this moment where I feelreally hurt, because I have the
truth that's never going tochange, that God cannot overlook
me.
By his very nature he cannot,though people always will.
That's just part of humannature.
He does not.
(23:09):
And if I can cling to that truth, I can live differently.
Instead of, you know, likesomething that I've tended to do
, instead of, you know,crumbling with
self-consciousness, I can walkwith confidence, and instead of
feeling like I need to justifymyself because I'm misunderstood
, I can walk in meekness.
Instead of feeling like peopleare just something that I need
(23:30):
to validate me, I can look atthem with a gospel perspective
and see them more as souls whoneed a Savior than people who
give me validation, and so itreally begins to change our
perspective all the way through,and that's really what I mean
by living seen.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
I love that.
That is so good.
It's so good.
Obviously, god's word is reallyimportant to you.
It's central, it's central toyour writing, it's central to
your podcast, it's central toyour life.
And so how does scripture andyou've already talked quite a
bit about scripture, but howdoes it give you the comfort and
(24:08):
the strength and the peace,like, practically?
Like give us some, give us somehands on, like it's nice to
know God sees us and yes, I havethat fact tucked in my back
pocket.
But like, what does that looklike when I'm on the pickleball
court or grocery shopping or,you know, in the shower and I'm
(24:29):
crying because of whatever ishappening in my life?
You know, what does God's worddo in those moments for us?
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Yeah, god's word is like an anchor back to reality,
and for me I mean real talk.
Just the other day I was reallystruggling with this exact you
know, you write a book about itand you're like I'm over it, and
then you're totally not over it.
And I was struggling with thisexact thing and I opened up
scripture because I just feltlost and I just felt frustrated
(24:59):
with myself that I wasstruggling with this again, and
so I just opened it to thisfamiliar passage, psalm 40.
And I love that scripture and Ijust started reading it and
it's just like it does somethingto bring a dose of reality back
to our minds when our feelingshave overwhelmed us or when we
just feel confusion and we don'tknow, kind of how to get out of
where we're feeling, or we feelfrustrated or angry.
(25:21):
And so I started reading.
You know, I waited patientlyfor the Lord and he heard my cry
and he lifted me out of the pit, set my feet on a rock and gave
me a new song and by the end ofPsalm 40, I'm like crying, you
know, and then I just went aboutmy day, but I kept thinking on
that verse, and the Holy Spiritdoes something with scripture.
When we come back to it overand over, it's like, even if
(25:43):
we're not reading it a hundredtimes, like he's working in our
hearts with it.
And so for me you know thebeginning of my journey, with
all of this kind of longing tobe seen one of the big questions
was really grasping God's love.
For me which I think a lot ofpeople who grew up in church
like I did they know God lovesthem.
Like they know in their headbut like in their heart.
(26:06):
It's a really it's really hardto get it down to their heart.
And so for me, that was a bigstruggle in the very beginning,
and I remember reading Psalm 139, just like over and over and
over again, just getting it intomy heart.
It's almost like our heart hasto catch up with our mind and
scripture allows us to do that.
And so for me and this theme ofOverlooked, what I found is all
(26:30):
these verses about God's loveand all these verses about
crying out to the Lord.
And I think I get to Hebrews,and I get to Hebrews, chapter
four.
That's kind of where it allcomes to this pinnacle moment,
because Hebrews 4.13 has thispart where it says we are naked
and exposed before the God towhom we must give an account.
I think it kind of sums up likeall these verses about the God
(26:53):
who sees, because he sees thegood but he also sees all the
bad and all the ugly.
And it's a bit terrifying whenwe really think about how much
God actually sees us.
There are parts we kind ofwould maybe like to hide from
Him and we're in this place oftotal exposure.
And then the next verse inHebrews 4.14 says Therefore,
(27:14):
with confidence, let us drawnear to the throne of God, and
he's going to give us grace andmercy that we desperately need.
And I think for me, that verse Igo back to that all the time
because it sums up this ideathat scripture is teaching all
throughout that God sees all ofit and he should be disgusted by
it.
He should turn away from me, heshould treat me like everybody
(27:36):
else has that's overlooked me,and yet his response is totally
different.
His response is come nearbecause of Jesus.
Come near and get what you needGet your mercy, get your grace.
I want more of you, even thoughI see all of who you are.
I love you and I want more ofyou because Jesus has covered
you, and I think, um, I don'tthink I would know that truth
(27:59):
apart from reading it over andover in Scripture.
I don't think that's intuitive,because it's so opposite of
what humanity does and thinks.
We are not that way, and soScripture tells us the reality
that grounds us back to thetruth.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Yes, you talked about how the Holy Spirit takes His
Word and does something in us,how the Holy Spirit takes His
Word and does something in us,and I just want to point out
which I think it's also inHebrews, where it tells us that
the Word of God is alive andactive, and I think it might be
that same passage, hebrews 4,.
Yeah, sharper than anytwo-edged sword which divides.
(28:37):
You know, it's right beforethat passage you were talking
about.
That's what lays us bare, likethat's what cuts us open and
lays us bare before God is hisword.
And it's different, like yousaid, it's not like any other
book.
It's not like you know thosethings that people say in the
morning, like you look in themirror and you say those
(28:58):
positive.
Yeah, which are fine, but theydon't have the power to change
our hearts and our minds likethe Word of God.
So you know, if the listener issaying you know I do these
positive affirmations everymorning, which is great and fine
, but if you only have time forone or the other, I would say
(29:25):
read a psalm, read a passage ofScripture, start going through
the Old Testament or the NewTestament or choose.
You know, this year I got achronological Bible and I love
it because I don't have to fliparound back and forth.
It's just you just open to thatday and it and it gives you the
Bible in chronological orderand I've really been enjoying it
.
So I'm just saying all thesethings to encourage the reader
to stay in God's Word.
(29:46):
Just soak in it, bathe in it.
And if you're a young mom andyou've got little kids, just
little bite-sized snacks like athree-by-five card, and put it
on your kitchen windowsillbecause we all know you're going
to be doing dishes Just put itsomewhere where you're going to
see it over and over.
(30:06):
Make a screensaver on yourphone so that you're getting
God's word into your heart andinto your mind and into your
life.
Absolutely, I was going to askyou if there was a particular
passage that was close to yourheart.
Is it the Hebrews 4, or isthere another one that you find?
Speaker 1 (30:26):
I do love Hebrews 4.
I think Psalm 40 will alwayshave a special place in my heart
.
I don't even know what it isabout that verse, but it's like
the page in my Bible that holdsthe most teardrops, because I
keep going back to it and justweeping over it and relate to it
so much and I think when wefind passages like that they are
(30:47):
just like familiar friends,they just become like this place
of comfort and so, yeah,absolutely those two are some of
them.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
I have lots, but those two are some of them.
Yes, I love that.
The page in your Bible that hasthe most tear spots, I think.
For me, that's Psalm 63.
I go to that one so often.
I love it.
So what, speaking of your bookagain, what hope does it offer
(31:17):
to those who feel overlooked,like what somebody who feels is
resonating with thisconversation?
I say, man, I know exactly whatthat feels like.
What kind of hope does yourbook offer them?
Speaker 1 (31:29):
I hope that it offers them first and foremost, the
opportunity to know that they'renot alone, because that feeling
makes us immediately feelisolated because we don't talk
about it all that much.
I hope the book offers them anopportunity to name something
that might feel kind of elusiveand to really put words and
thoughts behind that experience,no matter what it looks like
(31:53):
for the person reading.
And then, once they'reidentifying with that and
knowing that they're not alonein that, I hope that the book
gives them a framework toprocess through the reality of
the need and then the way thatGod has provided in His Word and
in just practical ways ofliving.
(32:13):
Like we talked about those fourdifferent traits of combating
that feeling of being overlooked, and I think so many of us are
longing to be seen and longingfor the worth and the
affirmation that we get verycaught up in that.
I certainly have been there andwe almost miss that.
(32:35):
There's something more beyondfinding that and I think if we
can find that and be assured ofthat, god has a lot for us after
that assurance that we'reempowered to do, and so that's
what I hope the book is able todo is sort of meet readers where
they are, encourage them, helpthem name it and then help them
move past that thought into wow,if God sees me and I have the
(32:58):
assurance of my worth, there'sso much now I can do in that
confidence space after it.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Yeah, I like that you kind of don't just end the
story with that pinnacle pointof like, okay, god sees me, but
then real life takes place afterthat moment.
And it's like that for us, Ithink, when we have a moment
with God where you know we feellike His Word is meeting us,
(33:26):
meeting us, a really deep needin our heart, but then the
laundry still has to get done,we still have to do the next
thing and there's still thatlooming struggle or the circular
problem that we face over andover again.
But now we're taking with usthe assurance that we're not
(33:46):
alone.
You know, I think about Hagargoing back to Abraham and Sarah.
But she wasn't going alone, shewas going.
She was taking this God whosees her with her.
She was not going to be justfacing that struggle on her own.
So I love that thought thatthat's just the beginning point,
(34:08):
and then God has so much morefor us.
Whitney, where can peopleconnect with you?
Get a hold of your book, findout your speaking schedule,
connect with your podcast.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Yeah, the best place is on my website, just
WhitneyAkincom.
They can find my speakinginformation and links to my book
.
They can find my book on Amazonor really anywhere online where
books are sold.
They can find my podcast.
It's called Hanging on EveryWord and it's on all the podcast
platforms out there, and I alsohave a newsletter on my website
(34:44):
.
That's a great way to stay intouch.
I can connect with peoplepersonally there and respond to
people, and so I also onInstagram.
I'm on there pretty frequently,and so I love to connect with
people and would love to meetany listeners who resonate with
this.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
I appreciate that and of course, of course I will
have all that information in theshow notes and also, listener,
if you are not on my email list,every week I send out a podcast
update and that will have allthese links that Whitney's
talking about.
It'll have her information,it'll have links to her book and
all the ways that you canconnect with the guests.
(35:23):
So if you're not on that list,go ahead and jump on there and
then, in closing, if you would,Whitney, just speak directly to
that listener, to the woman whois listening and says this is me
.
I feel overlooked, I feelinvisible.
What would you say to encourageher?
Speaker 1 (35:42):
I would say I feel overlooked, I feel invisible.
What would you say to encourageher?
I would say I feel that way tooso often, and you're not alone
and you're not selfish or anarcissist for feeling that way.
That's a valid feeling.
But where you're searching forthat attention, where you're
searching for that feeling ofbeing known and understood,
(36:05):
really, really matters.
And I would encourage her to goto the Lord with the feeling of
being overlooked and go to God'sWord and start there, start
with some of the verses we'vetalked about on this podcast,
and just test the Lord and letthe Holy Spirit work those
verses into her heart.
(36:25):
But also, I would just say it'shard feeling and it's okay that
it hurts, and God has theability to pull us out of that
place of sorrow and to remind usthat he really does see.
He's done it for me, he's doneit for so many women that I've
heard testimonies from, and hecan do it for you too, if you're
(36:46):
listening and it feels kind ofimpossible, he can do it.
And so give him an opportunity,invite him into your
invisibility, into yoursituation where you feel
overlooked.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
Thank you.
Thank you so much for takingthe time to be here and have
this conversation well, thankyou so much for having me thanks
for hanging out with me todayon beauty in the brokenness.
to find anything I mentioned onthe episode, go to
theresawitingcom slash listen tofind all the show notes.
(37:18):
That's where I'll have all thelinks to Whitney and her
resources.
Have you signed up for myweekly podcast updates?
Each week I send a short emailwith all the details about how
to connect with my guests, withall of their resources and all
the fun information that youdon't want to miss.
If you haven't signed up yetfor that, you can use the link
(37:42):
in the show notes.
The other thing I want toinvite you to do is if you are
following my sub stack, which isreally just like getting my
newsletter At the end of eachepisode.
I have a couple of questions forpersonal reflection and also
for discussion.
I'd love to see you come overto the beauty in the brokenness
community and share yourthoughts with us.
(38:03):
I pray that you have eyes tosee the beautiful redemptive
work of Jesus in the midst ofyour broken life.
In closing, I want to leave youwith this prayer from Numbers 6
, 24-26.
The Lord bless you and keep you.
The Lord make his face shine onyou and be gracious to you.
(38:25):
The Lord turn his face towardyou and give you peace.
And so I just think, like when she's sitting at the
edge of the wilderness and she'sgoing back toward Egypt, god
could just let her go, like itwould have been such an easy out
.
He didn't have to stop herthere, he didn't have to find
her, he didn't have to call hername, but he did.
And so for me, what Hagar doesis it shows me the beautiful
character of God.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Hi, friend, if you've ever wondered how God's Word
connects with the messy, brokenparts of your story, you're in
the right place.
Welcome to Beauty in theBrokenness, where we have honest
conversations about the Bible,our real-life struggles and the
hope God brings for healing.
I'm your host, teresa Whiting,an author, bible teacher and
(00:44):
trauma-informed life coach, butmostly a friend and fellow
struggler.
No matter who you are or whereyou've been, I'm inviting you to
encounter the God of rescue,redemption and restoration, the
God who is still creating beautyright in the midst of your
brokenness.
Beauty right in the midst ofyour brokenness.
(01:05):
Well, welcome, friends.
I'm so excited to introduce youto my guest today, whitney Akin.
Whitney is a speaker, podcasthost, bible teacher and author
of Overlooked Finding your Worthwhen you Feel All Alone.
Whitney's heart is to equip theaverage Christian to know God,
study His Word and fall in lovewith Jesus, which I think are
(01:28):
pretty awesome goals, if you askme.
Whitney lives near Atlanta,georgia, with her high school
sweetheart, eli, and their threecrazy beautiful kids.
So welcome, whitney.
I'm so glad you're here.
I would love it if you wouldtell the listeners a little bit
more about who you are and whatyou do.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Well, thank you so much for having me on the
podcast.
I'm excited to be here with you.
Yeah, I love God's Word and Ithink that's sort of the
catalyst behind all the thingsthat have sprouted from that.
I've really loved God's Wordsince I was probably 13 or so
and really kind of got intostudying it, and it's been a
(02:08):
journey of growing in it alongthe way.
I also love to be able to speakand minister to women, which is
not actually always beensomething that I love to do, but
it's a desire God has developedin me, and so being an author
goes along with that.
Being able to speak and sharethrough my words publicly, but
(02:31):
then my words in writing, issuch a gift and a blessing to be
able to do.
I speak in my book a lot aboutjust meeting women in a place
where they might feel unseen,and so that's a big theme of my
ministry and what I talk about.
And then I host a podcast wherewe study a book of the Bible
together in each season, and sothat's a big theme of my
ministry and what I talk about.
And then I host a podcast wherewe study a book of the Bible
together in each season, and sothat's fun and kind of
(02:51):
personally challenging for me,because it means I have to keep
up with studying for myself, andso that's fun.
I am a mom to three kids.
I homeschool them, and so wejust started our homeschool year
.
I have a sixth grader, a fourthgrader and a first grader.
This year.
So middle school and juststarting elementary, so that
keeps me very busy.
(03:12):
And then my husband and I run anonprofit ministry together
called M25 Barbecue and we serveall over in and around Atlanta.
We serve underservedcommunities free meals and while
we feed them we connect withthe local church to share the
gospel with them and give themresources to connect to a church
near them, and so we're out ata different location every week
(03:33):
doing that.
So that's such a blessing and aprivilege to be able to do as
well.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Wow, that's amazing.
I didn't realize you had thatministry.
That is beautiful.
What a neat way to minister topeople and kind of meet their
physical needs and open the door, hopefully, for spiritual
conversations.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Yeah, exactly that's really neat.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I love that.
Well, as you mentioned, and Imentioned too, you are an author
of this book which I'm holdingup for anybody on YouTube, and
the book is called OverlookedFinding your Worth when you Feel
All Alone.
And I have been reading andenjoying it.
I've been devouring it.
I got it a few days ago and I'malready halfway through.
(04:13):
So tell me, tell the listenersactually what's the heart behind
your book?
Why did you write that?
You mentioned a little bit ofyour heartbeat, which goes
perfectly by the way with thisseries, because we are in what
we were calling the scene series.
It's all about being seen.
(04:35):
So tell me and tell us aboutyour heart.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Well, there was a point I guess it was in 2019,
2020, where I really felt likethe Lord was laying on my heart
to write for Him.
I had been a writer a technicalwriter, and a freelance writer
for a while, but never writingmy own stuff and never really
Christian material.
And though I was a Christian, Ijust was working in a
professional capacity.
And so I was like, well, whatin the world am I going to write
(05:00):
?
And they say write what youknow.
And so the first thing that Ibegan to think about was this
feeling that I had struggledwith for my whole life, and I
really didn't know what to like,how to put words to it.
But it was this feeling ofbeing unseen.
Some of it is, you know,personality.
I'm an introvert.
As a child I was very shy, butas I began to think about, it
(05:22):
really wasn't just a personalitything.
It was through differentseasons.
When I went through a season ofinfertility and I was really
suffering, I felt the samefeeling of being unseen.
It had nothing to do with mypersonality, this was just a
situation.
And just even in earlymotherhood, because God did
bless me with children, I feltthat sort of, you know, feeling
(05:44):
of being unseen in a totallydifferent way, because now I'm
this new mom and I'm isolated,and so I just thought how all of
these things were like a threadin my life, that was a common
theme, and I really wanted tolike nail it down and ask the
question why do I feel this way?
What even is this, and whatdoes the Bible have to say about
this thing that I felt my wholelife this?
Speaker 2 (06:05):
And what does?
The Bible have to say aboutthis thing that I felt my whole
life.
Yes, yes, Tell us a little bitabout how you came to that title
Overlooked.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Yeah, I think, in my search to really name it, I was
like, well, it's being unseen ormaybe unnoticed, and I was
going through all these wordsand, like a total writing nerd,
I like to look through thesaurusonline and so I was just, you
know, scrolling through thethesaurus one day and looking up
different words and that wordoverlooked just came up on a
list of you know who knows how Igot there of different searches
and when I saw it I startedcrying like immediately it was
(06:40):
just like an instant recognition, like like that's the word, and
I knew that.
That was the feeling that I hadfelt sort of all the different
seasons, in all the differentways I had felt overlooked and I
initially had put that down onmy book proposal and in the very
first draft and it went throughlots of iterations and usually
(07:01):
publishers change titles butamazingly it made it all the way
through to the end, because Ireally do think it captures the
feeling that I'm trying to talkabout in the book and I think
giving it a name is actuallyreally important because we
don't talk about it a lot aswomen, but all women are
experiencing this in somecapacity.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Yes, yes, I think it's so common I've had women
say to me nobody would even knowif I disappeared.
You know I just I feelinvisible and I know that in in
your book you talk about that.
You talk about that feeling.
Could you share a story, maybe,of a time in your life where
you felt invisible or unseen?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Oh, I could share a lot with you, teresa.
One I share in the book was,ironically, a story where I was
called invisible, which I don'tthink most people are actually
called that, but it was.
My husband, before we had thisnonprofit, was in ministry where
he traveled with his family andsang all over the Southeast,
and so I would go with him onthese events and feel very much
(08:04):
like I wanted to kind ofdisappear, because it was social
and I had to meet all thesepeople and I just felt like I
did not fill the role as likeminister's wife very well, and
so I tried.
But we were at a particularchurch for a week-long revival,
as they called it, and he wouldsing, you know, every day.
We had been there for the wholeweek and I had been there too.
(08:24):
And then the last night we wentto someone's house for dinner
and they were saying goodbye toeveryone and we were all kind of
lined up and they were goingthrough the line and just giving
hugs and saying bye after thisgreat week of ministry and the
host stopped with me and he saidoh, you're just invisible back
there, aren't you?
And he was not meaning anything.
(08:45):
Wonderful, nice man, but it waslike I hadn't been there all
week.
He looked at me like he'd neverseen me before and I thought,
wow, that's that feeling thatyou just described.
I thought I could have justnever been here all week and it
wouldn't have made anydifference to anybody at this
church, to anybody in thisministry.
And I felt so deeply hurt by itand so I went back.
(09:06):
We were staying at this housewith all these people and I just
went in the bathroom, lockedthe door and just cried and I
thought about it for weeks afterthat and I thought I know he
didn't mean it, but that momentmade me question why does this
hurt so badly?
And it's because it gets to theheart of this longing that we
really we really want to be seenand known, and so to be called
(09:29):
invisible is the opposite of allthat we really long for, and so
I hope none of your listenershave actually experienced being
called invisible in life.
But it is a great story to sortof get at the heart of what I
have experienced and what I'velearned so many other women have
as well.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah, I just want to press into one of the things
that you mentioned.
You know you talked about howbadly that hurt and you went and
you were crying, and which isso good and appropriate.
But what I love is that youdidn't just cry and then walk
away from the situation.
You stopped and you said whydoes this hurt so much?
(10:10):
And that's a scary question.
I think a lot of us have hurts,we have pain, and we don't want
to investigate.
Why is this so painful to me?
And so I just want to pointthat out as something that I
think you did really well, andeven to the listeners, who maybe
feel pain points or experiencetears or experience grief, and
(10:35):
it's easier to just be like,okay, well, that's over, that's
done, let's just get on, let'sget past this.
But when you stop and you say,wait, why is this hurt so much,
that's where growth occurs,that's where you can look at the
source of that pain.
Or you can look at God's wordand say, oh, this is something
that God addresses in his word,and on the podcast, we have been
(11:00):
talking about different womenin scripture.
Actually, we're right at thebeginning of the series and the
first woman that we're talkingabout is Hagar, and Hagar's
story, I know, resonates withyours.
I don't remember how you and Igot connected, but anytime I
read your work I'm like, oh yes,this is, this is a woman I need
(11:23):
to speak to and have on thepodcast, because we have a
similar heartbeat of you.
Know, she experienced such aprofound invisibility.
You know she was a slave, shewas a foreigner, she was a woman
All of these things thathappened to her, and then she
(11:44):
was an outcast, and if anybodyin scripture would have been or
would have felt invisible, itwould have been Hagar, and I
know you speak about her as well.
So I'd love to hear just kindof your perspective and maybe
how you resonate with Hagar'sstory.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Yeah, I love that.
If anyone in the Bible feltinvisible, it was Hagar.
And yet she's the one who givesGod the name.
You are the God who sees.
So how beautiful is that?
That gives me chills.
You know, hagar's story and mystory are nothing alike.
I can't relate to her story inso many ways, but yet I can
relate to her story in so manyways.
(12:22):
And I think the thing thatreally resonates with me about
Hagar's story is that when sheflees Sarah's household and she
hasn't done everything righteither the Bible is really clear
about the messiness of thestory between Sarah and Hagar.
But when she flees and she'sgoing back to Egypt, she's on
this trajectory back home andshe sits down at the spring of
water on the edge of thewilderness.
(12:43):
In that moment in Scriptureshe's not searching for God,
she's not calling out to him,she's not asking for help, she's
not saying why did you do that?
She's just going home and thescripture says that God found
her and he called her by name,which is so beautiful, because
in the passage, abraham andSarah only called her the slave
(13:05):
or the servant.
And God calls her by name andthen he gives her a command to
return and submit, which feelslike how dare you make her go
back to that abusive situation?
But in this moment, he givesher this prophecy which, when
you read it in scripture, soundsweird, but there's some really
key things.
He gives her the gender of herbaby, the name of her baby,
(13:25):
which is directly tied to thisHebrew God, and then he gives
this prophecy of her son thathe's going to have authority and
he's going to have freedom,which are things that Hagar has
never had before, and so in thismoment, god is so personally
meeting her in her situation andseeing her for who she is, that
her response is situation andseeing her for who she is, that
(13:48):
her response is you are God ofseeing.
And okay, god, I will go backto Sarah and submit to her, and
we know, if we read on Genesis,that their relationship was
still rough and she ends upbeing kicked out again from the
household, and so it's not eventhat the story is tied up with a
pretty bow.
But what I love about Hagar isthat she is not the main
character, she's not the motherof the covenant son.
(14:09):
She's really, by all accounts,she's a mistake.
She is this moment that Sarahhad a lack of faith and took
Hagar and said okay, you havethe child.
Sarah wasn't supposed to dothat, that wasn't part of God's
plan for her.
Hagar gets involved in this,but not by her own choice, she's
forced for her.
Hagar gets involved in this,but not by her own choice, she's
forced into it.
And so I just think, like whenshe's sitting at the edge of the
(14:29):
wilderness and she's going backtoward Egypt, god could have
just let her go, like it wouldhave been such an easy out.
He didn't have to stop her there, he didn't have to find her, he
didn't have to call her name,but he did.
And so for me, what Hagar doesis it shows me the beautiful
character of God that he sees.
He's not just concerned withthe main players, he loves them
(14:55):
too.
He loves the Abrahams and theSarahs, but he's seeing the
outcast and the ones that aren'tgoing to be the main characters
, and he's saying I love you, Isee you and I want to call you
back into my plan.
Even though you might not bethe mother of the covenant son,
I'm going to call you back intothis story.
And so I think that Hagarreveals so much about the
merciful, personal, lovingcharacter of who God is and when
(15:19):
she gives him that name.
It just makes it all that muchmore meaningful that it's coming
from her.
It just makes it all that muchmore meaningful that it's coming
from her.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Yes, yes, I had goosebumps through your whole
story.
I love her story, I love allthose aspects of it.
And you mentioned Ishmael.
You know that God gave him thatname and you know, we know, el
Royi means God sees and Ishmaelmeans God hears.
Yeah, el Royi means God seesand Ishmael means God hears.
(15:49):
So it's like every time shewould call his name, she would
remember that God heard herweeping, he heard her, he saw
her.
I mean it's just, it's soamazing and I think you know, in
scripture she's definitely thatperson who we would look at and
say she was overlooked.
We look at around us, at theworld today.
We know women who feel this way.
(16:09):
We ourselves, at times, havefelt this way of just feeling
like what I'm doing it doesn'tmatter.
Even if you're not a shy personlike you can be out in front of
everybody and still feel like,when you're all alone at the end
of the day, feel like itdoesn't even matter, I don't
(16:30):
matter, what I'm saying doesn'tmatter.
And then we compound that withthe world that we live in and
the absolute insanity of theinsane amount of opportunities
we have to be seen and known andwhich then brings it with it.
(16:51):
You know, the same ample amountof opportunity to feel
overlooked.
So I know you.
This is kind of one of yourpassions, it's one of mine.
I talk about this a lot on thepodcast um.
So talk about the the worldthat we live in and how it makes
women feel even more overlookedthan they ever have.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yeah, absolutely so.
You know, women have felt thisway since you know ancient Egypt
I mean ancient Israel, withHagar right.
So we're talking aboutsomething that's always been
true, but in the last 20 yearsit's become different for us
because the world has gotten somuch smaller in so many ways, so
(17:32):
where we maybe could onlycompare or feel overlooked in
our families or in our churchesor in our communities.
Now we have the opportunity tofeel overlooked or to be seen on
this grand scale, and I'mobviously referring mostly to
social media, but also to justthe way that we communicate as a
(17:52):
whole is a part of this.
Social media is probably themost obvious way, and so on
social media, the promise isthat you can be seen, and it's
really touching on this deepdesire that a lot of us haven't
even really admitted that wehave or want to admit that we
have or even really know that wehave.
But it's hitting on this desire, and so we're going to these
(18:14):
places in social media for thisidea that we can be seen and
known, and in the meantime,we're seeing and knowing other
people.
I was just reading a commenttoday and it said here I go
crying about a stranger's lifeagain, and I'm like that's the
crux of social media.
It's like we don't know them,but we know them, and so we feel
this connection and we long forthe same thing.
(18:36):
And social media promises thison such a grand scale that you
could be seen by millions.
And you don't have to beanybody to really accomplish
that.
You can just be a stay at homemom or you can just film cooking
or cleaning or your life orwhatever, and you can be seen on
this grand scale.
And so there's this temptationto meet this need that keeps
(18:56):
coming up.
But the dark side of it is,like you said, as much as
there's this promise that you'llbe seen and connected and known
, there's the flip side, thatactually more people are lonely
than ever before, more peopleare feeling overlooked, and so
when you look at statistics ofsocial media going up like this,
loneliness is like right here.
And it's increasing, andstatistics are saying one in
(19:18):
three Americans are lonely on aregular basis, and the highest
group is women.
And so we're sort of goingtoward a false promise that just
keeps delivering us theopposite of what it promises.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Yeah, and it's obvious why social media is
growing because there's thatinnate need, there's that desire
to be seen and known, and sosocial media promises that and
so, like you said, it doesn'tdeliver, but it just keeps.
It's like maybe this post,maybe maybe this will go viral,
maybe this will be the nextthing and and people will
(19:53):
comment or like, and and it'sjust it's I have strong feelings
about it, I'm not going to talkabout it right now.
I would love to talk a littlebit about the idea in your book
of living seen, because that'snot a sin.
I mean, that's a God-givendesire.
(20:15):
I think last week I was talkingto Kurt Thompson on the podcast
and he was talking about likewe were made for this.
This is how God wired ourbrains and our bodies was to be
seen.
So when you talk about livingseen, what do you mean by that?
Tell us what you mean and whatthat looks like in real life.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Yeah, just to go off of what you're just saying,
attention, which we immediatelyhave a connotation that's
negative when we hear the wordattention, like that's bad.
But attention wasn't meant tobe like good or bad.
Attention is a need that peoplehave and when you really look
into, like how psychologistsdefine needs biological human
needs love and belonging is oneof those needs and attention
(21:00):
healthy attention is one ofthose needs.
We know that, like withchildren, we get that.
We know children need healthyattention for their development,
but somewhere along the way wethink that that ends as adults
and we no longer really needthat and we're selfish if we
want that.
But that's not true.
It's still this biological needand so if you're hungry, you
eat right, and if you needattention, what do you do?
(21:22):
And so what we're doing iswe're eating a diet of like
candy by going to social media.
But what we really need is abalanced diet and we're not sure
where to look for that whenwe're trying to fill this need
of attention.
And that's where a living scenecomes in and the idea of that,
it's the idea number one.
You're not wrong for desiringthat, because you have a creator
who made that biological needwithin you because he can meet
(21:45):
it, he's able to meet it.
And so I went throughoutscripture and looked at
different accounts of people whoencounter God in like the
seeing God in a really specificway, and I go through four
different people in the book.
I go through Hagar and thenMoses and Paul, and I even
include Jesus, although hisstory is a little different
because he's God himself.
(22:05):
Moses and Paul and I eveninclude Jesus, although his
story is a little differentbecause he's God himself.
And I talk about some thingsthat happened in their life
after the moment that theyrealized, oh wow, god sees me.
Because it didn't stop withthat realization, it really went
on to transform how theyinteracted in the world around
them.
And so I talk about four things.
I talk about obedience,confidence, meekness and a
(22:27):
gospel perspective, and reallythose things are sort of the
living out, the active lifestyleof living seen.
It's kind of like walking aroundwith something in your back
pocket that's just a reminder,like I might feel really
overlooked and I might feelreally misunderstood in this
situation and I might feel likenobody cares.
But and I might feel likenobody cares, but I have this
(22:48):
truth that God sees me andbecause of that.
It can change the way I viewthe situation and this person
and this moment where I feelreally hurt, because I have the
truth that's never going tochange, that God cannot overlook
me.
By his very nature he cannot,though people always will.
That's just part of humannature.
He does not.
(23:09):
And if I can cling to that truth, I can live differently.
Instead of, you know, likesomething that I've tended to do
, instead of, you know,crumbling with
self-consciousness, I can walkwith confidence, and instead of
feeling like I need to justifymyself because I'm misunderstood
, I can walk in meekness.
Instead of feeling like peopleare just something that I need
(23:30):
to validate me, I can look atthem with a gospel perspective
and see them more as souls whoneed a Savior than people who
give me validation, and so itreally begins to change our
perspective all the way through,and that's really what I mean
by living seen.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
I love that.
That is so good.
It's so good.
Obviously, god's word is reallyimportant to you.
It's central, it's central toyour writing, it's central to
your podcast, it's central toyour life.
And so how does scripture andyou've already talked quite a
bit about scripture, but howdoes it give you the comfort and
(24:08):
the strength and the peace,like, practically?
Like give us some, give us somehands on, like it's nice to
know God sees us and yes, I havethat fact tucked in my back
pocket.
But like, what does that looklike when I'm on the pickleball
court or grocery shopping or,you know, in the shower and I'm
(24:29):
crying because of whatever ishappening in my life?
You know, what does God's worddo in those moments for us?
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Yeah, god's word is like an anchor back to reality,
and for me I mean real talk.
Just the other day I was reallystruggling with this exact you
know, you write a book about itand you're like I'm over it, and
then you're totally not over it.
And I was struggling with thisexact thing and I opened up
scripture because I just feltlost and I just felt frustrated
(24:59):
with myself that I wasstruggling with this again, and
so I just opened it to thisfamiliar passage, psalm 40.
And I love that scripture and Ijust started reading it and
it's just like it does somethingto bring a dose of reality back
to our minds when our feelingshave overwhelmed us or when we
just feel confusion and we don'tknow, kind of how to get out of
where we're feeling, or we feelfrustrated or angry.
(25:21):
And so I started reading.
You know, I waited patientlyfor the Lord and he heard my cry
and he lifted me out of the pit, set my feet on a rock and gave
me a new song and by the end ofPsalm 40, I'm like crying, you
know, and then I just went aboutmy day, but I kept thinking on
that verse, and the Holy Spiritdoes something with scripture.
When we come back to it overand over, it's like, even if
(25:43):
we're not reading it a hundredtimes, like he's working in our
hearts with it.
And so for me you know thebeginning of my journey, with
all of this kind of longing tobe seen one of the big questions
was really grasping God's love.
For me which I think a lot ofpeople who grew up in church
like I did they know God lovesthem.
Like they know in their headbut like in their heart.
(26:06):
It's a really it's really hardto get it down to their heart.
And so for me, that was a bigstruggle in the very beginning,
and I remember reading Psalm 139, just like over and over and
over again, just getting it intomy heart.
It's almost like our heart hasto catch up with our mind and
scripture allows us to do that.
And so for me and this theme ofOverlooked, what I found is all
(26:30):
these verses about God's loveand all these verses about
crying out to the Lord.
And I think I get to Hebrews,and I get to Hebrews, chapter
four.
That's kind of where it allcomes to this pinnacle moment,
because Hebrews 4.13 has thispart where it says we are naked
and exposed before the God towhom we must give an account.
I think it kind of sums up likeall these verses about the God
(26:53):
who sees, because he sees thegood but he also sees all the
bad and all the ugly.
And it's a bit terrifying whenwe really think about how much
God actually sees us.
There are parts we kind ofwould maybe like to hide from
Him and we're in this place oftotal exposure.
And then the next verse inHebrews 4.14 says Therefore,
(27:14):
with confidence, let us drawnear to the throne of God, and
he's going to give us grace andmercy that we desperately need.
And I think for me, that verse Igo back to that all the time
because it sums up this ideathat scripture is teaching all
throughout that God sees all ofit and he should be disgusted by
it.
He should turn away from me, heshould treat me like everybody
(27:36):
else has that's overlooked me,and yet his response is totally
different.
His response is come nearbecause of Jesus.
Come near and get what you needGet your mercy, get your grace.
I want more of you, even thoughI see all of who you are.
I love you and I want more ofyou because Jesus has covered
you, and I think, um, I don'tthink I would know that truth
(27:59):
apart from reading it over andover in Scripture.
I don't think that's intuitive,because it's so opposite of
what humanity does and thinks.
We are not that way, and soScripture tells us the reality
that grounds us back to thetruth.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Yes, you talked about how the Holy Spirit takes His
Word and does something in us,how the Holy Spirit takes His
Word and does something in us,and I just want to point out
which I think it's also inHebrews, where it tells us that
the Word of God is alive andactive, and I think it might be
that same passage, hebrews 4,.
Yeah, sharper than anytwo-edged sword which divides.
(28:37):
You know, it's right beforethat passage you were talking
about.
That's what lays us bare, likethat's what cuts us open and
lays us bare before God is hisword.
And it's different, like yousaid, it's not like any other
book.
It's not like you know thosethings that people say in the
morning, like you look in themirror and you say those
(28:58):
positive.
Yeah, which are fine, but theydon't have the power to change
our hearts and our minds likethe Word of God.
So you know, if the listener issaying you know I do these
positive affirmations everymorning, which is great and fine
, but if you only have time forone or the other, I would say
(29:25):
read a psalm, read a passage ofScripture, start going through
the Old Testament or the NewTestament or choose.
You know, this year I got achronological Bible and I love
it because I don't have to fliparound back and forth.
It's just you just open to thatday and it and it gives you the
Bible in chronological orderand I've really been enjoying it
.
So I'm just saying all thesethings to encourage the reader
to stay in God's Word.
(29:46):
Just soak in it, bathe in it.
And if you're a young mom andyou've got little kids, just
little bite-sized snacks like athree-by-five card, and put it
on your kitchen windowsillbecause we all know you're going
to be doing dishes Just put itsomewhere where you're going to
see it over and over.
(30:06):
Make a screensaver on yourphone so that you're getting
God's word into your heart andinto your mind and into your
life.
Absolutely, I was going to askyou if there was a particular
passage that was close to yourheart.
Is it the Hebrews 4, or isthere another one that you find?
Speaker 1 (30:26):
I do love Hebrews 4.
I think Psalm 40 will alwayshave a special place in my heart
.
I don't even know what it isabout that verse, but it's like
the page in my Bible that holdsthe most teardrops, because I
keep going back to it and justweeping over it and relate to it
so much and I think when wefind passages like that they are
(30:47):
just like familiar friends,they just become like this place
of comfort and so, yeah,absolutely those two are some of
them.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
I have lots, but those two are some of them.
Yes, I love that.
The page in your Bible that hasthe most tear spots, I think.
For me, that's Psalm 63.
I go to that one so often.
I love it.
So what, speaking of your bookagain, what hope does it offer
(31:17):
to those who feel overlooked,like what somebody who feels is
resonating with thisconversation?
I say, man, I know exactly whatthat feels like.
What kind of hope does yourbook offer them?
Speaker 1 (31:29):
I hope that it offers them first and foremost, the
opportunity to know that they'renot alone, because that feeling
makes us immediately feelisolated because we don't talk
about it all that much.
I hope the book offers them anopportunity to name something
that might feel kind of elusiveand to really put words and
thoughts behind that experience,no matter what it looks like
(31:53):
for the person reading.
And then, once they'reidentifying with that and
knowing that they're not alonein that, I hope that the book
gives them a framework toprocess through the reality of
the need and then the way thatGod has provided in His Word and
in just practical ways ofliving.
(32:13):
Like we talked about those fourdifferent traits of combating
that feeling of being overlooked, and I think so many of us are
longing to be seen and longingfor the worth and the
affirmation that we get verycaught up in that.
I certainly have been there andwe almost miss that.
(32:35):
There's something more beyondfinding that and I think if we
can find that and be assured ofthat, god has a lot for us after
that assurance that we'reempowered to do, and so that's
what I hope the book is able todo is sort of meet readers where
they are, encourage them, helpthem name it and then help them
move past that thought into wow,if God sees me and I have the
(32:58):
assurance of my worth, there'sso much now I can do in that
confidence space after it.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Yeah, I like that you kind of don't just end the
story with that pinnacle pointof like, okay, god sees me, but
then real life takes place afterthat moment.
And it's like that for us, Ithink, when we have a moment
with God where you know we feellike His Word is meeting us,
(33:26):
meeting us, a really deep needin our heart, but then the
laundry still has to get done,we still have to do the next
thing and there's still thatlooming struggle or the circular
problem that we face over andover again.
But now we're taking with usthe assurance that we're not
(33:46):
alone.
You know, I think about Hagargoing back to Abraham and Sarah.
But she wasn't going alone, shewas going.
She was taking this God whosees her with her.
She was not going to be justfacing that struggle on her own.
So I love that thought thatthat's just the beginning point,
(34:08):
and then God has so much morefor us.
Whitney, where can peopleconnect with you?
Get a hold of your book, findout your speaking schedule,
connect with your podcast.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Yeah, the best place is on my website, just
WhitneyAkincom.
They can find my speakinginformation and links to my book
.
They can find my book on Amazonor really anywhere online where
books are sold.
They can find my podcast.
It's called Hanging on EveryWord and it's on all the podcast
platforms out there, and I alsohave a newsletter on my website
(34:44):
.
That's a great way to stay intouch.
I can connect with peoplepersonally there and respond to
people, and so I also onInstagram.
I'm on there pretty frequently,and so I love to connect with
people and would love to meetany listeners who resonate with
this.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
I appreciate that and of course, of course I will
have all that information in theshow notes and also, listener,
if you are not on my email list,every week I send out a podcast
update and that will have allthese links that Whitney's
talking about.
It'll have her information,it'll have links to her book and
all the ways that you canconnect with the guests.
(35:23):
So if you're not on that list,go ahead and jump on there and
then, in closing, if you would,Whitney, just speak directly to
that listener, to the woman whois listening and says this is me
.
I feel overlooked, I feelinvisible.
What would you say to encourageher?
Speaker 1 (35:42):
I would say I feel overlooked, I feel invisible.
What would you say to encourageher?
I would say I feel that way tooso often, and you're not alone
and you're not selfish or anarcissist for feeling that way.
That's a valid feeling.
But where you're searching forthat attention, where you're
searching for that feeling ofbeing known and understood,
(36:05):
really, really matters.
And I would encourage her to goto the Lord with the feeling of
being overlooked and go to God'sWord and start there, start
with some of the verses we'vetalked about on this podcast,
and just test the Lord and letthe Holy Spirit work those
verses into her heart.
(36:25):
But also, I would just say it'shard feeling and it's okay that
it hurts, and God has theability to pull us out of that
place of sorrow and to remind usthat he really does see.
He's done it for me, he's doneit for so many women that I've
heard testimonies from, and hecan do it for you too, if you're
(36:46):
listening and it feels kind ofimpossible, he can do it.
And so give him an opportunity,invite him into your
invisibility, into yoursituation where you feel
overlooked.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
Thank you.
Thank you so much for takingthe time to be here and have
this conversation well, thankyou so much for having me thanks
for hanging out with me todayon beauty in the brokenness.
to find anything I mentioned onthe episode, go to
theresawitingcom slash listen tofind all the show notes.
(37:18):
That's where I'll have all thelinks to Whitney and her
resources.
Have you signed up for myweekly podcast updates?
Each week I send a short emailwith all the details about how
to connect with my guests, withall of their resources and all
the fun information that youdon't want to miss.
If you haven't signed up yetfor that, you can use the link
(37:42):
in the show notes.
The other thing I want toinvite you to do is if you are
following my sub stack, which isreally just like getting my
newsletter At the end of eachepisode.
I have a couple of questions forpersonal reflection and also
for discussion.
I'd love to see you come overto the beauty in the brokenness
community and share yourthoughts with us.
(38:03):
I pray that you have eyes tosee the beautiful redemptive
work of Jesus in the midst ofyour broken life.
In closing, I want to leave youwith this prayer from Numbers 6
, 24-26.
The Lord bless you and keep you.
The Lord make his face shine onyou and be gracious to you.
(38:25):
The Lord turn his face towardyou and give you peace.
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