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September 9, 2025 27 mins

Do you ever feel invisible or overlooked? In this episode, we explore biblical stories of women who felt unseen and discover how God actively pursues those society forgets. Teresa introduces her Seen series and unpacks how you can connect with both God and others in a digital, distracted world.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Teresa Whiting (00:00):
Well, we're still coming off of our podcast
break and we are starting thisseason with a brand new series
that I'm calling the SceneSeries, and I'm going to tell
you a little bit today about whythat series is so important to
me and why I think it's going tobe really meaningful to you.
Hi, friend, if you've everwondered how God's Word connects

(00:23):
with the messy, broken parts ofyour story, you're in the right
place.
Welcome to Beauty in theBrokenness, where we have honest
conversations about the Bible,our real-life struggles and the
hope God brings for healing.
I'm your host, teresa Whiting,an author, bible teacher and
trauma-informed life coach, butmostly a friend and fellow

(00:45):
struggler.
No matter who you are or whereyou've been, I'm inviting you to
encounter the God of rescue,redemption and restoration, the

(01:08):
God who you know.
We see that from babies, fromthe moment they come out of the
womb.
They're seeking attention,they're seeking eye contact,
they're seeking connection.
And yet I have talked to somany women who feel like, talked
to so many women who feel likeyou know what.
Nobody would notice if Idisappeared.
My work is meaningless.

(01:35):
What I'm doing is completelyunimportant Women that feel
invisible in their homes, intheir churches and even in their
communities.
This series is for every womanwho feels as though she is
invisible or unknown.
And guys, if you're listeningin, you are welcome here too.
I hope that this series willlet you know that you are not

(01:55):
alone and it will help you forgea pathway to healing and
connection.
You know, when we talk aboutthis feeling of being unseen and
there and there's a host ofwords we could use it could be.
We could talk about feelingoverlooked or lonely or isolated
, and there's a lot of reasonsfor that.
First of all, and the reallyobvious one, is the screens in

(02:18):
our lives.
I mean computers have takenover the world.
I don't mean to be an alarmist,but if you look around, all of
us are constantly staring at ascreen, whether it's our phone,
our computer, our tablet.
We're missing the eye contactthat we were made for, that
human connection.
A lot of people spend theirtime connecting online and in

(02:42):
ways that is wonderful, and I amso thankful for the ways that
we can establish connectiononline, that we can do this
podcast online, that we can, youknow, have Zoom meetings and
online groups, but we were madefor human connection, for
eye-to-eye contact, for humantouch.
Another reason, I think that somany people feel alone and

(03:06):
isolated is comparison.
It's that feeling that we'vealways had of I'm not enough.
But now we can look around andsee what everybody else in the
whole world is doing and thenwe're like, oh, I was right, I'm
not enough, I'm not doingenough, I'm not pretty enough,
my house isn't decorated enough,whatever you name it, that

(03:30):
feeling of not enough.
If it wasn't a problem for youbefore, it is now, because
everybody else's accomplishmentsare in your face 24, seven and
we can end up feeling like Ihave nothing to offer.
Who am I?
I think another reason we feelunseen is because of the

(03:50):
distractions.
I mean so many of us arerunning around in a million
directions.
We have our work, our families,our church activities, our kids
, our sports, and so even thoughwe have so many luxuries like
you know, we've got washingmachines and dishwashers and all
of these things to make lifeeasier life just doesn't seem

(04:14):
simpler, it seems morecomplicated, it seems more
complex and our attention isgoing in a million directions,
and so we feel frazzled andscattered and torn.
And guess what?
The word for that is actuallyanxiety.
Like when you read the wordanxiety in scripture, it means
pulled in a million directions,and the word peace means

(04:37):
wholeness, all together, and soI think part of the reason we
feel this ache and thisloneliness is not just because
we're distracted, but becauseeverybody around us is
distracted and we're missing thehuman connection that we so
desperately long for and the Godconnection.

(04:57):
In scripture, you see Jesus,over and over, reaching out to
people in these face-to-faceinteractions.
You see the God of heavencoming down and meeting with
Moses face-to-face interactions.
You see the God of heavencoming down and meeting with
Moses face-to-face.
You see David getting alone topray, to worship.
We see people all throughoutscripture connecting with God on

(05:19):
a very deep personal level, andthat's not something that we do
typically.
It's not a part of the rhythmof many people's lives, and so
you know there's a lot ofreasons that we feel unknown,
unseen and invisible, and thisisn't just about one age group
or demographic.
The world is a lonely place forso many people.

(05:42):
I mean, think about thisInfants and toddlers are born
into a different kind of worldthat you and I were born into.
They're born into a world where,instead of their parents
looking at them when they'reborn, their parents are behind a
screen, they're videotaping.
They're taking pictures Like,no, just hold that baby, just

(06:05):
look into that baby's eyes.
Toddlers are not getting theattention that they desperately
need, and you know what?
We don't need to cite ascientific study.
Just go to a playground, a park, an airport, a mall, anywhere
you go, you will see parentsthat are not making eye contact

(06:25):
with their kids.
They're behind a screen, andthere's a term for this.
These babies are called digitalorphans, and it's not just
because we have screens, but Ido think that that is a problem
from the youngest ages, wherechildren are feeling this ache,
this longing to connect, andthey're not getting it.
Are feeling this ache, thislonging to connect, and they're

(06:45):
not getting it.
When it comes to children andteens, jonathan Haidt has
written a book called theAnxious Generation, and in it he
says that children born after1995 became the anxious
generation because smartphonesand social media have basically
rewired childhood and this hasshifted the way children grow up

(07:09):
.
You know, when I was a kid, andwhen many of you were children,
we would go outside, we wouldplay with our friends, we would
meet our neighbors.
Pate says the mass migration ofchildhood into the virtual
world has disrupted social andneurological development.
I've talked to children andyoung adults and teens who feel

(07:31):
like they missed out on theirchildhood in so many ways, like
they don't know how to play,they don't know how to interact
with other humans or adults, andthis makes me so sad and I
think that there is an awarenessin our culture and there's a
pushback to this and I am sothankful that you know it's
being spoken about, it's beingwritten about and, believe me,

(07:54):
I've got plenty of books I canrecommend to you.
But I will put the AnxiousGeneration in the show notes.
But then you know, you go on tothe moms and the young adults
and the young single women, eachof them with their own kinds of
struggles.
There are so many young momswho feel alone and isolated.
They're doing those mundanetasks of motherhood and they're

(08:16):
home alone all day raisinglittles, feeling like nobody
sees what I'm doing and nobodyknows, like nobody sees what I'm
doing and nobody knows.
Or I think about the singlewomen that live alone and are
struggling to even findcommunity.
Recently I was talking withanother empty nest mom who feels
like there's not even a placefor me at my church.

(08:38):
I'm not one of the youngmarrieds, I'm not in the youth
group.
I'm not in the retiree group,where they've got you know all
the activities, but we're inthis awkward in-between stage
where we're trying to rediscoverwho we are.
Many women are lonely in theirmarriage after the kids are gone
, and so there's even in thisstage of life that I'm in, you

(09:01):
know, as a recent empty nesterthere can be a sense of
loneliness.
And then the elderly, and maybemost of all, they feel just
kind of put on a shelf,neglected and alone.
And so that, my friends, is whyI am doing the scene series.
But it's not just a podcast.

(09:23):
I'm actually writing a Biblestudy on this very topic,
because when we come to theBible, we see that this feeling
is not new to women in the 21stcentury.
It's been a problem forgeneration after generation, not
just mine and not just yours.
We can easily look at our livesand be like how do you even be

(09:44):
a human in a world that is socomputerized and automated and
filled with artificialintelligence?
Well, you know what?
Even though we have some ofthese challenges, this idea of
feeling unseen and unknown hasalways been an issue.
So I'm going to tell you alittle bit about how this series

(10:05):
is going to work.
It's very similar to the Gracedseries, which is how I started
this podcast, and if you haven'tlistened to the Graced series,
that's a great place to start.
So if you're new around here,you may want to go back and
listen to the Graced series.
So over the next several months,what we're going to do is we're
going to meet women inscripture.

(10:25):
We're going to look at theirstories.
We're going to try to crawlinto their skin.
What I love to do is I love tokind of tell these personal
narratives, maybe from theperspective of some of these
women.
Then we're going to read thePsalms.
The Psalms are always a sourceof hope and strength and comfort

(10:46):
.
Then we're going to haveconversations with people in
real life who are going to sharetheir insight, their experience
, their expertise on the topicthat maybe this particular woman
had struggled with.
So I'm so excited about thewomen that we're going to
discuss from scripture.
These are women who were oftenoverlooked and undervalued Hagar

(11:09):
, leah, tamar, elizabeth, thebleeding woman and the hunched
woman.
Their stories reveal the heartof a God who passionately
pursues those that the worldrejects, overlooks or discards.
Their stories remind us that weare never beyond God's notice.

(11:30):
He sees, he knows and he callsus by name.
We're going to start the serieswith Hagar.
She shows us that even when thepeople in our lives, those who
are closest to us, reject us,abandon us, turn their backs on
us, god comes looking for us, hepursues us, he seeks us out and

(11:51):
he calls us by name.
Then we're going to talk aboutLeah.
Oh, leah has such a beautifuland tragic story.
She was rejected by her husbandin favor of another woman who
happened to be her sister, andshe lived her entire married
life with that heartache.
Her mantra was maybe this time,like maybe this time, my

(12:14):
husband will love me.
Maybe this time he'll payattention to me.
And I think how many of us haveour own version of this kind of
maybe this time he'll payattention to me.
And I think how many of us haveour own version of this kind of
maybe this time.
Maybe this time it'll work out,maybe this time, whatever you
fill in the blank, I know thatyou have one.
And yet Leah learned in themidst of her heartache to say

(12:38):
this time I will praise the Lord.
She was able to figure out thatGod saw and knew and heard her
in her pain and to praise him inthe midst of it.
Then we're going to talk aboutTamar.
Now, this is a different Tamarthan the one we discussed in
Grace.
This is a woman who was rapedand then silenced, and her story

(13:02):
reassures us that even in theabsence of justice, god sees, he
hears and he calls victims outof silence into courageous
expressions of grief.
Tamar models for us biblicallament.
We are going to talk about thepower of speaking our pain out

(13:22):
loud and the healing that itbrings.
I can't wait to talk aboutTamar and while we're on the
topic of lament, I just wantedto remind you that we have
another Healing Power of Lamentworkshop coming up on this
Saturday, september 13th.
So if you are hearing thisepisode and you're like you know
there is something in my lifethat I am grieving or that I

(13:44):
need help grieving this would bea perfect opportunity for you
to sign up.
I'll have the link in the shownotes.
Then we're going to talk aboutElizabeth, who endured years of
unanswered prayers about herinfertility and because of that,
in her culture she lived withpublic disgrace and shame.
She didn't meet theexpectations of what a woman

(14:08):
should be, and yet God lifts herfrom that he honors her, he
gives her this beautiful role inthe story of redemption.
Then we're going to meet thebleeding woman.
And you guys, her story is soamazing.
It might be one of my favorites, I don't know, it's hard to
have a favorite, but this is awoman who lived as an outcast

(14:29):
from society.
Her illness kept her frominteracting in her world and
even in her faith community.
She lived hidden and isolated,and yet she courageously
approaches Jesus.
And when he heals her hedoesn't just let it be that he

(14:49):
healed her physical body, hehealed her heart and her soul.
Oh, I can't wait for thatepisode.
And then we're going to talkabout the hunched woman.
And you're like what, who,who's that?
Exactly, this is a woman who,for all intents and purposes,
would have been unseen andunknown to her dying day, except

(15:12):
that in Luke 13, jesus comesinto her life and he touches her
and he sets her free from 18years of spiritual oppression.
Her story is one that I didn'teven know.
I had a friend recommend to me.
Oh, why don't you do thehunched woman?
I'm like who, who's that?
I never heard of this woman.
And what a beautiful story,what a beautiful model of the

(15:36):
way Jesus comes and pursuesthose that we don't even know
exist.
I can't wait for you to seeGod's heart on display as he
interacts with these women, andso my prayer for you as we go
through this series is that youwill not feel so alone in your
own struggles that you will knowthat others feel the way you

(15:58):
are.
I want to normalize thisexperience of loneliness.
According to statistics, 31% ofwomen struggle with feelings of
loneliness.
I want you to experience Godknowing you and seeing you, and
I want to help you find ways toconnect with others in person,
at church, over lunch, at a park, with others in person, at

(16:24):
church, over lunch, at a park.
I want to inspire you to lookpeople in the eye, to see and to
allow yourself to be seen.
Even here at Beauty and theBrokenness, I'm creating a
sub-stack community so that wecan connect with one another,
but I'll talk more about that atthe end of the episode.
I know that there's womenlistening right now who feel
like you know, I don't reallycare.

(16:47):
I want to be invisible, I wantto be unseen, but I want to
encourage you and let you knowthat you are discounting the
fact that you have something tooffer?
Yes, you do.
If you're arguing with me going.
No, teresa, you don't know me.
I have nothing to offer.
Let me tell you this no oneelse has your life experience,

(17:09):
your voice, your heart, yourinsight.
We talk about people having aGod-sized hole in their heart
that only God can fill, but Ireally believe that he uses you
and I to fill those holes in oneanother.
We are made to be communitycreatures.

(17:30):
We are not meant to live inisolation.
Let me ask you something haveyou walked through the betrayal
of your spouse?
Because you know what?
There's a woman right now who'sdiscovering that her husband had
an affair, and she doesn't evenknow if she's going to make it
till tomorrow.
She doesn't know how to breatheanymore, and you know what.
You don't have to be acounselor.

(17:52):
You don't have to have afive-step plan for healing.
She just needs someone to tellher that she's going to survive,
that she's not alone and thatthe way she feels insane is
normal, and you know what it'slike.
She just needs someone to holdher hand and say I'm so sorry.

(18:13):
Did you grow up with an abusiveparent?
Because there are countlesspeople who are walking in your
shoes and they need someone tosay to them I see you, you're
not alone, I'll walk with you.
How about this?
Are you a mom who struggledwith anger and yelling at your

(18:34):
kids, hand raised?
I promise you.
There are young moms right nowwho go to bed at night feeling
defeated and guilty and theyjust need a friend.
They need someone to walk withthem through this lonely journey
of motherhood.
They need someone to sharethings with, to bounce ideas off

(18:54):
of, to just say, hey, I see youand it's okay, and maybe we can
try this and not to fix you andnot to try to give you all the
answers.
And it doesn't even have to bebig things like someone whose
husband is having an affair orsomeone who's screaming at their
kids.
It can just be the everydaymoments of life to know that you

(19:17):
are seen, you are loved, youare valued, you are known.
I want to tell you this thatthere is someone in this world
that has a wound that you canhelp them heal.
So come out of hiding and allowyourself to be a part of a
community where healing takesplace.

(19:40):
And you know what?
When you reach out and youextend yourself to provide grace
and hope and healing for others.
So the beautiful thing is, godmade us this way.
That helps you heal as well.
It's this beautiful way thatGod created us that when we help

(20:00):
others, we're helping ourselvesat the same time.
I want to close this episode byreading a letter to you that I
wrote.
It comes out of theintroduction of my new Bible
study scene.
Now, if you're looking for thatstudy, it isn't out yet, but
I'm working on it.
Dear friend, I'm honored thatyou've picked up this study.

(20:23):
I wrote it for every woman whohas ever felt overlooked,
silenced, dismissed or discarded.
For you who have been woundedby those who should have
protected you, abandoned bythose who should have stood by
you, or rejected by those whoshould have welcomed you.
For anyone who doesn't fit themold society, the church or even

(20:45):
your family expects of you.
I want you to know God sees you,knows you and is inviting you
into a deeper relationship withhimself.
We've all felt the sting ofbeing the last one picked or the
one left unchosen, but thebeautiful truth woven through
all scripture is that, sincebefore time began, god has known

(21:07):
you and from the moment hebegan forming you in his
mother's womb, his eyes and Hisheart have been fixed on you.
This invitation isn't reservedfor the popular or powerful.
It's not just for the esteemedand the elite.
The God of all creation stoopsto see those the world overlooks
the ostracized, imprisoned,silenced and suffering.

(21:31):
He seeks you out.
He searches for every lonelyheart and calls you by name.
If you've lived in the shadowsor fled to your own wilderness,
like Hagar, god has come lookingfor you.
No despair is too deep, nowilderness too vast.
He has heard your prayers, seenyour tears and sought you out.

(21:54):
He has ridden on the clouds,parted the waters and come down.
His gaze has been fixed on youfrom eternity past.
There is no place in heavenabove or on earth beneath where
you can escape his notice.
Long before you were even awareof him, he knew you.
He is the God who sees you, theone who comes looking for you,

(22:17):
who chases you down withsteadfast love and faithfulness.
We don't even have to wave ourarms or cry out Daddy, look at
me.
God is already looking at youwith tenderness and compassion.
His eyes have been fixed on youall along.
Now, before I sign off, I wantto tell you a little bit about

(22:40):
the community I'm creating overon Substack.
So basically, substack is justa way for us to interact with
one another.
I'm over here talking all thetime.
I want to hear from you, solisten to this.
This is important.
If you're already on my emaillist, you don't need to do
anything.
You're already a part of mySubstack community.

(23:01):
Isn't that fabulous?
You don't need to do anythingat all.
You will still get my monthlyemails filled with all the good
stuff, just like you always have.
You'll still get weekly podcastupdates, and one of the things
I'm doing this year that's newis I'm going to have some
reflection questions for you toconsider that are related to the

(23:22):
episode, something for you tothink about and consider in your
own life, but also to inviteyou into the conversation On
Substack.
You will have an opportunity toleave comments and connect with
other subscribers.
So that's my hope in moving toSubstack.
It's a way for me to still giveyou the same content I always

(23:44):
have, but for us to create alittle bit more of a back and
forth, of a community where youcan respond to questions, you
can respond to episodes and youcan get to know one another a
little bit.
I would love to see that happen.
One of my passions is to openup conversations, so publishing
my newsletter on Substack isjust a way for us to do that.

(24:05):
So, again, if you're alreadysubscribed, you don't need to do
anything, but you can hop overthere and leave a comment.
You don't need to do anything,but you can hop over there and
leave a comment Now.
If you're not subscribed, youcan subscribe right now by
clicking the link in the shownotes.
Now one last thing when it comesto Substack this is important
as well.
It has an option for you tobecome a paid subscriber.

(24:27):
Now, I hope you know me by nowthat I am not in this for the
money.
If I were, I would have quit along time ago.
Subscribing to Beauty and theBrokenness is simply a way for
you to show your support forthis work.
Of course, there is no pressureto become a paid subscriber.
It's just an option that I'mputting out there for those of

(24:50):
you who want to partner with mein spreading a message of hope
and healing.
I love you guys.
I appreciate you so much.
I am so thankful for you, whoare listening, who are watching
on YouTube, and for you, who aremy subscribers.
You're the reason I'm here, thereason I'm doing what I do, so
thanks for hanging out with metoday on Beauty and the

(25:13):
Brokenness.
To find anything I mentioned onthe episode, go to
TeresaWhitingcom slash listen,which is where you can find all
the show notes.
I pray that you have eyes tosee the beautiful, redemptive
work of Jesus in the midst ofyour broken life.
In closing, I want to leave youwith this prayer from Numbers 6

(25:36):
, 24 to 26.
The Lord bless you and keep you.
The Lord make His face shine onyou and be gracious to you.
The Lord turn His face towardyou and give you peace.
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