August 11, 2025 • 33 mins
What if your deepest pain could become your greatest source of resilience? Tricia’s journey shows that it’s possible through what she calls “emotional agility,” the ability to sit with, navigate, and learn from life’s most challenging moments.
Tricia Parido is a visionary speaker and emotional strategist, creator of Total Emotional Performance—a system that helps high-achievers align their inner game with their outer success. Known for her raw delivery and fierce compassion, she brings real-world psychology that cuts through the fluff of typical self-help advice.
From surviving childhood sexual assault and domestic violence to overcoming autoimmune disease, anxiety, and addiction, Tricia transformed her suffering into strength by listening deeply to her body and creating her own healing blueprint. Today, she helps others do the same, offering tools to navigate challenges with clarity and courage.
Her upcoming book, I’m Not Okay and I’m Not Giving Up, is a decade’s worth of wisdom for anyone seeking peace and purpose. In this episode, discover how emotional agility can turn even life’s most painful chapters into powerful growth.
Let's enjoy her story.
https://www.turningleavesrecovery.com/
https://www.facebook.com/tricia.parido
https://www.linkedin.com/in/triciaparido/
https://www.instagram.com/iamtriciaparido
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Daniela SM (00:01):
Hi, I'm Daniela.
Welcome to my podcast, becauseEveryone has a Story, the place
to give ordinary people'sstories the chance to be shared
and preserved, or stories becomethe language of connections.
Let's enjoy it, connect andrelate, because everyone has a
story.
My guest is Tricia Pareto, avisionary speaker and emotional
(00:24):
strategist, a woman whose lifestory is proof of the
extraordinary strength that canemerge from unimaginable pain.
She brings to life the conceptof emotional agility, a term she
uses with clarity andauthenticity, and I really
really enjoy it with clarity andauthenticity, and I really
(00:46):
really enjoy it.
Tricia's openness and genuinenature makes her a powerful
storyteller and relatable guide.
Through her life experiencesmarked by trauma, resilience and
transformation, shedemonstrates that healing is not
about perfection but aboutmovement, adaptability and
trusting our own inner wisdom.
I truly enjoy having Tricia onthe podcast and love the concept
(01:10):
of emotional agility.
Let's enjoy her story.
Tricia Parido (01:13):
Welcome Tricia to the show, thank you so much,
I'm really happy to be here.
Daniela SM (01:18):
Yes, I'm very happy that you're here too, because I
know you have an interestingstory.
Why do you want to share yourstory?
Tricia Parido (01:24):
You know, I see so much pain and I feel so much
painful energy.
You know I want to share withpeople that we can sit in and
move through the hard and theuncomfortable, and I think
having the ability to live in astate of emotional agility is
just such a gift that I'vereceived in my life that I think
(01:48):
, wow, if I can I don't knowinfuse somebody with a little
agile piece.
Daniela SM (01:55):
Yes, and I know that you use a lot the word
agility, which I love that word.
When does your story start?
Tricia Parido (02:02):
And I really don't like to start there, but
my story starts at the age offour and when I reflect back at
how did I become this being whocan sit in and move through all
of the big hard things that lifehas given me and still embrace
the beautiful things that werehappening for me and arriving
(02:24):
here at 55 years of age andsaying, wow, all of these things
have purpose.
Daniela SM (02:31):
Yes, that's beautiful, and I guess that is
the reason why you have an agilemind At four years old.
What happened, wow?
Tricia Parido (02:39):
Yeah, and I'll say, even between the ages of
four and seven, right, there wasa lot of really cool things.
At four years old I got to goto this fun school pilot program
and then I was reading, writing, doing arithmetic, playing
(02:59):
chess and doing all kinds ofreally wonderful brain
stimulating things, and it'swhere I cultivated my core base
of friends that would follow meuntil, of course, you know the
teen years when we all kind oflearning to swim and play piano
and all kinds of fun things.
But I also experienced somereally hard things, experienced
my first sexual assault at theage of four.
(03:22):
I think I probably exercisedbeing emotionally agile for the
first time, although not knowingit right, like it's also the
first time I learned oh, let'sjust not talk about this and
let's just shove it away andhide it and store it down,
because I didn't, even at theage of four, I didn't go running
(03:42):
to mom or dad who were there,because I didn't, even at the
age of four, I didn't go runningto mom or dad who were there
and home at the time.
You know, I also remember at theage of four, I, you know, I
struggled quite a bit.
There were multiple episodes aday where I would, you know,
stomp my feet and go down thehallway saying nobody loves me.
I just, you know, in thoseearly years there was, you know,
(04:05):
my siblings poked at me a lot,and they didn't know.
They didn't know any better atthe time.
They were quite a bit olderthan me, and so they would poke
at me and tell me I was themilkman's kid or I belonged to
the neighbors and I didn't looka lot like them and I didn't act
a lot like them and I didn'tact a lot like them.
(04:25):
And so they would tell me, youknow, I would hear messages from
the older people in my life,whether it was my siblings, a
grandmother or somebody else inthe adult world Between the ages
of four and seven.
I would hear nobody wants tohear what you have to say, and I
(04:46):
got a lot of, you know,ridicule for, for being spoiled.
So I had all of these externalmessages coming in, and so it
was really quite confusing,because I was being set up to to
succeed and to be seen right,go to school and show your
talents, give the good gradesright, and and there was no
pressure to do that and and Iwas good at all of these things.
(05:08):
Yet I was hearing thesemessages, so I was shrinking on
the inside and trying to figureout how to still do all of those
things.
My dad was killed when I was 12.
And that was right after myparents had separated for a
period of time.
So you went through a reallygood school, had separated for a
period of time.
Daniela SM (05:25):
So you went through a really good school, you were
a really good student, you excel, but you still were hearing all
these different messages thatdidn't match.
And then you became a teenager,which that is confusing with it
in itself, and so what happenedthere?
Tricia Parido (05:43):
So you know the person that was always in such a
great big hurry to grow up.
Daniela SM (05:47):
Well, if you're having older siblings, of course
.
Tricia Parido (05:50):
Well, and my siblings were grown in out of
the house when my father waskilled, and so it was just me
and my mom always in a hurry togrow up, but my physical body
decided it was also in a hurrymy biological clock started
ticking at the age of 16.
I made the choice right, Like Ilistened to my body and I
(06:11):
became a mother by I was a momat 17.
There was a reason for thathere I listened to my body and
the universe was showing me theability to listen and to hear
what was actually being said,Because after my son, I lost two
, developed severe endometriosisand had a few near-death
experiences, and so that was myone and only opportunity to have
(06:36):
my child.
That was like.
You have this innate abilityand talent to know what's going
on and to hear and to listen andto trust and to follow what is
being communicated to you, andso you know that was a big
blessing.
Daniela SM (06:56):
Wow, that's amazing that at such a young age that
you were able to listen to yourbody and to know, the majority
of the people will feelmortified that oh my God, it's
so young.
But here you are in theopposite, feeling that that's
what needs to happen.
Tricia Parido (07:12):
Yeah, and I just chose for the majority of it.
You know I was a single mom.
His dad was in the picture.
We were, we were young right,we were young.
We tried to make it work.
It was ugly for a while.
Yes, without any disparagingintent, our relationship was
ugly.
There was some domesticviolence.
(07:32):
You know other inappropriatethings.
I did have periods of time whereI did, you know, some trauma
drinking, but we figured it outand we figured it out as two
individual beings, right with achild that we loved and cared
for very, very deeply and wereable to navigate that Fast
(07:52):
forward.
You know, with my spouse nowand our very beautifully
combined family like we alwayswith all the kids did combined
birthdays and even just regularholidays We'd say, hey, come
over All of these little thingsthat I can look at through my
life that you know were.
I used to say you know, gosh, Ihave the ability to pull myself
(08:13):
up by the bootstraps and wadethrough the you know the garbage
, to sit in and move throughhard things.
Again, there was you know theearly on, you know sexual
assault when I was a child.
But there were several othersthrough my life that were
between the age of 12 and 23that were.
You know probably a little more.
(08:35):
You know what people wouldrefer to.
You know mainstream sexualassault, mainstream rape.
I had to learn how to navigateand not close myself off.
If you look at some of thethings that I endured that could
be connected to that, there wasanorexia, body dysmorphia, poor
(08:55):
self-esteem.
Realizing that my self-worthwasn't tied to the size of my
waist food was something thatwas important, right, the
restricting was prettysignificant for me during a
period of my life.
And, again, all trauma-inducedright, like relationships not
(09:16):
working out, navigating, being asingle parent, showing up as a
single parent for that child,even though all of these other
things were going on in my life.
Daniela SM (09:26):
And you had your mother's support.
Tricia Parido (09:28):
You know I did, and so that was, you know, key
for me in those first threeyears.
It was critical and I did.
One of my other siblings hadyou know, we had kids kind of in
around at the same time myoldest sister, so she would
watch all the grandchildren.
It was normal because all thekids would go to grandma's to
play and hang out and sometimeshave sleepovers and sometimes
(09:50):
not.
It was wonderful.
Daniela SM (09:51):
And you did get along with your sister, I think
you know sibling, care and love.
Tricia Parido (09:57):
When it comes to that, you know, when I got
pregnant with my son, I alsouncovered something that was a
bit of a shock that biologicallyI had a different father than
who raised me and was removedfrom my life abruptly in a
motorcycle accident when I was12.
(10:17):
When I got pregnant I figuredthis fact out right, like my
blood type wasn't the same asanybody else's.
So anyway, I figured that out.
So you know there was some ofthat in there also, because all
of the stories they would say tome that I didn't belong, that I
didn't look like them, I didn'tact like them, I was so much
different, really came true.
(10:39):
They were right, I was.
I had to navigate that and itplayed a big role in my life
because here I went some veryimportant years without a father
figure and could have had one.
But then, in the same respect,you know what, I wouldn't have
changed my life or my lifestylethat my mother and I created for
(11:01):
ourselves, because it createdwho I am today and I have a
wonderful adult relationshipwith my biological father and
have had since I was 18 yearsold.
So just a lot of complexity.
And so you look back at thatand you go, yes, well, they have
to be agile.
Definitely yes, because whatelse are you going to do?
(11:22):
Get rigid, be angry, be bitter,you know, be hurt, be scorned
and fall apart or I don't know.
Sit in and move through it andsee how it can be something
great going forward and youfigured this out by yourself.
Daniela SM (11:37):
Like I should be agile versus not.
Tricia Parido (11:40):
I didn't know that's what I was doing, right
Like I figured this stuff outover the last 12 plus years.
I was just studying behavioralpsychology and comparing it to
the different things and how Ihandled and navigated things
through life and being able toconnect the dots back to that.
(12:01):
And I did that in studying thebehavioral psych in my own
recovery journey.
I have developed generalizedanxiety disorder and, if I back
up a little bit right like thosenear-death experiences led to a
full hysterectomy aftersuffering physically for 10
years because nobody was goingto give an 18-year-old a
(12:24):
hysterectomy when things reallystarted going bad.
So I had to wait a decade.
So I had multiple abdominalsurgeries to try to keep things
functioning.
At 29, I had a fullhysterectomy.
I was already in full-blownmenopause.
That's what I meant.
Not only was I emotionally,cognitively advanced and well
(12:47):
beyond my years, my physicalbody was in a hurry.
So I had to then say, well, howam I going to reverse engineer
this?
Well, first I developed fourautoimmune diseases rheumatoid
arthritis I was battling, mixedconnective tissue disease,
Sjogren and gastroparesis.
(13:08):
I developed generalized anxietydisorder after my hysterectomy.
Hormone levels were wrong, etcetera, et cetera.
I was a low-level daily drinker,Couple Coors, Lights in the
evening Weekends.
Sure, right, Like my husbandand I would, you know, maybe
drink more than that around thepool.
Sure, knowing what I know now,I could have diagnosed myself as
(13:30):
having an alcohol dependence.
I grew up that way.
I was a child of the 70s Not toplacate it, right, Because,
like I said, there was trauma,drink, late adolescence and
early 20s, which is normal tocome along with numerous sexual
assaults, et cetera.
You know, my medical providerprescribed me Xanax, very deadly
(13:50):
combination which I came tolearn afterwards, and they
prescribed it to me over thecourse of five years.
And so it was a very quiet,physiological addiction that
that happened.
And so there was a day that Iwas like I had to tell my
husband like I need to go, Ineed to go to a detox, like a
medical detox, and he's like,why now?
And I'm like because I can'tnot.
(14:11):
So the two had becomesynergistic and dependent upon
in my physical body.
I found myself a maintenancedrinker and somebody who had to
have a certain amount of Xanaxevery day, and it was just and I
couldn't go without that.
Right, Like I wasn't.
It wasn't to levels of suchsevere intoxication that I was
(14:33):
like laying on the couch passedout.
It was a maintenance.
I was a control freak, highachieving control freak, and I'm
like this doesn't work for me,but you were working and high
functioning and everything withall that.
Daniela SM (14:45):
Yes, I was a stay-at-home mother.
Tricia Parido (14:49):
right between the two of us we had five children.
My husband traveled a lot forbusiness.
Our oldest daughter had cancerwhen she was a freshman in high
school.
Daniela SM (14:57):
But you still figured out that you did have a
problem, because it seems likeyou were working really well
with all that.
Tricia Parido (15:03):
Yeah, physically, I started to have withdrawal
symptoms that I had never hadbefore in my life at the age of
43.
I'm like I don't know what'shappening, but this isn't right.
So I went to a medical detox.
So this is how I got into thewhole behavioral psych realm,
you know, because I had to knowwhat happened.
In that studying I uncoveredthat when folks are reliant on
(15:25):
things outside of themselves tobring them peace, joy, comfort,
relief, right, so that could bealcohol, that could be pills,
xanax, that could be sugar, itcould be food of any kind, it
could be the Amazon shoppingcart, it could be the
people-cleansing codependency.
It's the perfectionism, it'sall those things we're relying
(15:47):
on the social media, the thumbsup to validate us After
detoxification and deciding like, hey, my recovery journey is
going to look like a whole lotof education.
I'm done.
Never turned back Completelysober.
I have no desire to alter mycognitive way of being, my
emotional way of being.
I figure what the heck right,like this thing called living is
(16:09):
supposed to be experience.
I had all four of thoseautoimmune diseases attacking my
body.
So here's my body talking to meagain, because I didn't doesn't
make it right for anybody else,but I started listening to my
body and in doing so I was ableto remove all four of them.
I did that with my relationshipwith food, so I figured out
(16:31):
exactly which foods negativelyimpacted the functioning of my
body, modified how I eat, how Iget nourishment, vitamins,
minerals all the things to workfor my unique system.
Of course, I tried all of thecookie cutter copy paste things
the low FODMAP, the this, thethat.
Nothing served me.
(16:52):
So I created the right versionfor my physical body and I no
longer have any of those things.
They don't show up in bloodtests nothing.
Daniela SM (17:01):
But that's the hard part, Like you know.
Yes, you have always been,since you were 16, listening to
your body.
Very well, but how does otherpeople can?
That's just very difficult.
Tricia Parido (17:13):
Well, and the cool part is, remember I said,
if we go back, when I was doingmy behavioral psych studies, I
started looking at the theories,the methods, the standardized
practices and looking at how wasI already using those things in
my life?
Where did I use them?
(17:34):
How did it serve me?
And then I converted them.
I converted them to a we'llcall it a coaching modality,
created the entire system andthen a blueprint for myself,
like, oh, this is cool, right,like I can use this for anything
that life throws at me, goingforward from today on right Back
(17:55):
then, and it works, and itworked well for me.
And I still eat, sleep, breatheit.
It has become part of who I am,it is my being.
And so when I was doing myinternship and getting my
supervised hours, I startedsharing my blueprint, the way
(18:16):
that I learned how toincorporate these theories,
methods and modalities into mylife, when I started teaching
people how to also do that forthemselves.
And that's when I starteduncovering that you know the
standardized or the self-helpbook Not that I don't like
self-help books I'm working onone myself right now right, but
(18:40):
you know, if we learn how tolook at a concept and say how
can I use this in my life in away that serves me in this
situation, that situation,whatever it is, then we're onto
something.
So that's what I did.
Daniela SM (18:58):
Can you be more specific?
Can you give me an example ofhow you did the?
Tricia Parido (19:01):
food.
The Locus of Control Theory byJulian Rotter.
Well, most people wouldn't knowthat one, but think about Mel
Robbins' Let them and I alludedto this one earlier.
Right, we're looking at thingsoutside of us, we're sad.
We go to the ice cream aisle atthe store, we buy a bucket of
ice cream and there we go.
That's an external locus ofcontrol In this theory.
(19:23):
We were all born in the externallocus of control position.
Cry to get a bottle or changeour diaper.
As we grow we learn to stand up, walk, pull up our pants, go to
the bathroom, which is movingto the internal locus of control
position, which we're allsupposed to.
We're supposed to navigatethrough how to be for ourselves.
(19:46):
But here's where society kindof derails that right.
And as parents we don't knowwe're doing it.
But kid falls down, scrapestheir knee.
What do you do?
While you're cleaning it up,you put a popsicle in their
mouth.
You teach them that as asoothing tactic, versus a
self-soothing tactic which isallowing that kid to sit there
and be upset because they're inpain, they're scared or whatever
(20:09):
.
While you're cleaning it andallow them to see that the
popsicle will have no bearing onyour ability to keep going
forward.
When kids do well in school, wegive them accolades, gold stars,
we praise them.
It's their job to do their bestand we need to teach them to
ask for help when they'restruggling.
Instead, we teach them we'regoing to praise you, praise you,
(20:30):
praise you.
And then, when they arestruggling, they're like oh God,
they're going to think I'm dumbor bleh.
So this is that locus ofcontrol.
We have to figure out how to beokay, regardless whether we're
doing well, we can be proud ofourselves, or if we're
struggling, we can say can I getsome help with this?
(20:52):
So I took theories, methods andmodalities, like the locus of
control theory, and I created anentire system.
Daniela SM (20:56):
How do you do the food?
How do you listen to your body?
Tricia Parido (21:01):
Oh, that takes dedication.
You have to spend time, so youhave to not put 20 different
things in your gut at the sametime, right, if you don't make a
big salad.
I love salads with all kinds ofthings seeds, nuts, fruits,
vegetables, all the things inthe salad, the protein because
then you don't know what yourbody's react, right?
So it's kind of a slow process.
(21:21):
I know how to pull out and readsymptoms, but for me what I
identified was nightshades.
So tomatoes, peppers, thingslike that, right, they cause me
inflammation.
I was drinking kombuchathinking, oh, I'm doing
something great.
And every time I did, my gutwould just stand and I'm like,
(21:44):
well, this makes zero sense.
And I looked and they all hadginger in them.
It's about leaning in and trulylistening, which means you know
you log your food, sure, butthe more important part is the
logging of cognitively,emotionally and physically.
How do I feel every single hour?
Daniela SM (22:05):
So you were eating one thing.
Tricia Parido (22:07):
No, I would eat a couple of things, so like I
would have a protein and I wouldchoose a vegetable right Like,
not a medley, so you canidentify right Like I knew
chicken didn't bug me, I knewfish didn't bug me, and so you
discovered that there weremostly vegetables that were
causing issues, becauseobviously you were eating clean,
(22:30):
otherwise, like you were noteating potatoes or pasta.
No, right, Like I strugglebecause you know I don't get to
have my red sauce and I have tobe very choosy and limited with
my pasta, my bread, my salami,my cheese.
So it was identifying how muchcheese I can have and of what
(22:52):
kind, before it starts provokingmy body.
Just last night I made athousand island dressing with a
little bit of ketchup.
I could feel it coming out ofmy body when I went to bed.
I was itchy, my skin felt likeit was crawling just because I
had a little bit of tomato.
But that's how much.
I've broken it down and know howto identify.
(23:14):
Now I've been at it for years,but I spent a solid year and I
would say if somebody wants todedicate a year, they'll find
out.
Yes, I had to remove refinedsugars.
Refined sugars are veryinflammatory and refined sugars
are in a lot of foods.
So it's about knowing like, hey, if I want a sauce, I've got to
(23:34):
make it myself, because that'sthe only way it's not going to
have those things they put in itwhen you were on vacation.
Daniela SM (23:40):
You ate things that you wouldn't eat here.
It didn't affect you.
Tricia Parido (23:45):
Oh, yes, yes and yes, I can go to Italy and eat
an entire pizza.
So when I'm here and I'm eatingpasta, right like, I buy pasta
that's been imported from Italyso that I have that different
quality that I know my body willtolerate.
My longest relationship and thething that I have to pay
(24:05):
attention to the most, is myrelationship with food, because
it is tied to so many things.
It's tied to my physicalwell-being, eating disorders,
it's tied to body dysmorphia,it's tied to all kinds of things
, and so it's probably the onethat I embrace the most.
Daniela SM (24:23):
Yes, so it's quite interesting.
I was going to say that youwere also a bit empathic because
you were able to think aboutthe body.
It's not easy to be to listen.
I mean I listened.
Sometimes I had a lot of youknow, I like somehow I get
bloated, like I'm five monthspregnant, and he heard so much
that I cannot even close mypants.
(24:44):
So at the beginning I thoughtit was you know, endometriosis
and stuff, and I went through asimilar operations like you and
then I had a partialhysterectomy and since then I
said, okay, it's cure, I'm nevergonna have this again.
But then I realized that it'snot true that when I get
stressed or something, I justget this.
Tricia Parido (25:06):
You know, I mean it could be a lot of things,
right, like, of course we haveto, you know, break it down.
For me that could have been oh,was there a cucumber in that
thing I just ate?
Was there a raw onion that Ididn't notice?
It could be a lot of things.
It could just be leaky gut from.
Daniela SM (25:23):
Whatever you, ate and it's just it, just no.
Sometimes it's in the morning.
You know, I wake up in themorning and I drank some water
and immediately, like I, I feelthat it's coming and I'm like,
what did I do?
Nothing has happened.
What is it?
Tricia Parido (25:37):
well, you gotta look back 72 hours or more,
right depending.
For me, with gastroparesismeaning slow digestion things
would take four days to processthrough my body.
It's just very interesting.
Daniela SM (25:53):
But you're correct, I am very empathic and it's
something you learn about yourbody and you start to be
observant about your food intakeand you took away those four
illness, that you hadimmunological issues, right.
(26:14):
And then what happened?
Do you always knew that youwere empathic and you developed
that too, or you just developedthat now?
What else have you been doingsince then?
Tricia Parido (26:23):
I look back at my life and know that I've been
empathic my whole life, but Ididn't learn about it.
I didn't see that that's whatit was until my journey
throughout this last 10, 15years.
Daniela SM (26:35):
Were you were studying behavioral science.
Tricia Parido (26:38):
So the more interested I became in myself
and studying and learning andcomparing, and so the more
interested we come in ourselvesas beings, the less we see oh,
that happened to me because ofthis negative person or that or
person, right, like when I wasraped 13 year old, you know,
take that on and be like, thisperson did this to me, right?
(27:01):
So, you know, when I talk aboutthese things that happened to
me in my life, right, I'm ableto say, like that was the bad
act of another being.
It had zero to do with me, itwas merely the vessel, and if it
hadn't have been me, it wouldhave been somebody else.
I lived through it, I survivedwhere, where perhaps most other
(27:27):
or many other young ladies wouldcrumble.
So.
So perhaps it was so that Icould show like other people,
like you, don't have to let thebad act of another being define
who you are.
You can still succeed, you canstill have a great life, you can
still have your big family,your good career, yada, yada.
Daniela SM (27:47):
So then, after these, you decided to become a
coach.
Tricia Parido (27:50):
You know, originally I thought I would
want to be in standardizedpractice right Like I went to
school so that I could go workin the industry and help people
emotionally and to overcomeaddictions, eating disorders et
cetera.
Early in my studies I realizedtalk therapy and counseling
really wasn't my personality.
I discovered the coachingmodality.
(28:11):
So I don't necessarily callmyself a coach but I do practice
for my coaching modalitybecause it's forward moving,
it's problem aware, solutionfocused, it's right, and so what
are you up to now?
Daniela SM (28:27):
You said that you wanted to write your writing
book.
Tricia Parido (28:31):
You know, I have my core foundational system
blueprint whatever methods andmodalities that that I that I
utilize and and then I have thisamazing focus group where every
month we just have a, you know,advanced focus that we're that
we work on right throughout thewhole month and we get together
(28:53):
once a week and, like this monthwe were, our focus was
emotional agility, so we workedon that all month long and and
so in in the recording of thatI've been doing some
transcribing.
So what I really am looking tobe putting together is, well,
(29:16):
the title of it is going to beI'm Not Okay and I'm Not Giving
Up here Really going to be thetranscription of me teaching
each of the lessons, and I justdid a wonderful, well-deserved
it's been over a decade, it'stime to update recordings of it.
(29:38):
So it's going to be a book thatcan go along with the program
or could be standalone.
I have a lot of clients thatlike to write down everything I
say and I'm like ah right, sowe'll put it in a book format.
It'll be interactive.
So many versions of theworksheets will be there, but I
believe I'm going to also do anaudible version so that people
(30:00):
can listen while they're readingand they can write in there at
the same time.
And it's, it's just going to bea wonderful companion for a
year long journey.
Daniela SM (30:08):
Wonderful, and when do you think you're going to
have that done?
Tricia Parido (30:11):
Oh, goodness gracious, I'm hoping early next
year.
Daniela SM (30:15):
Oh, wow, that's pretty good.
Yes, it sounds reallyinteresting and I and I think
that if you sharing your storytoo, it's quite interesting
because people can relate morewhen when they hear like you
know, it's just, you're just no,just saying it, it worked for
you.
Although when they hear likeyou know, it's just, you know,
just saying it, it worked foryou.
Although you know everybody hastheir formula and nobody's the
(30:35):
same as others.
We know that.
I know that already.
Yeah.
Tricia Parido (30:39):
I tell people I'm like hey, don't even use my
formula, add it, delete, change,shift, morph it.
Daniela SM (30:43):
Let me give you the concept we all have to learn
and it took me years.
I'm not satisfied with theanswer that we are all different
and there's no one formula foreveryone.
I will have prefer that it willbe one formula so I can move on
with other things that I wantto do, but no, you, you know,
with exercise, with food,spiritual things, everybody has
(31:06):
their own way for me, and Ialways have said this that we
are here to learn who we are andwhat fit us, and that's all we
have and is is difficult becausethe society doesn't teach us
that, and so we spend so manyyears thinking about other
people and trying to copy allthis other things instead of
like hearing us yeah, hearing usmore disable all.
Tricia Parido (31:32):
My life motto, which is in my, is one of my
favorite things in the world,because once I took it on as my
life motto, when I when I wroteit for myself, I went, oh wow,
this is really cool, cause I getto give it to every other being
on the planet, and so my life'smotto is this is my life too.
It gets to look, feel, behowever I want it to.
(31:55):
I get to choose right Like.
I don't have to, I don't haveto fit in any box.
Daniela SM (32:00):
Yes, that's true.
We put things in boxes becauseit's easier to understand that,
but of course it's not right.
Tricia Parido (32:06):
Just start getting interested in yourself
and whatever that looks like.
The best thing we can do forourselves is to worry about and
to think about what we think,feel, believe and need.
You know the core foundationright is live for yourself first
, and then you can really goforward from there.
(32:27):
So when we have that deeperunderstanding and knowledge and
we learn how to actually utilizeemotional intelligence, not
just know what emotionalintelligence is, then we can
actually live in a state ofemotional agility and experience
abundant peace.
Daniela SM (32:49):
Yes, and you know, having your agility mindset, all
the negative you turned it intohaving a lot of positive rather
than having more negative.
So, yes, this is wonderful.
So, tricia, thank you so muchfor sharing your story.
I know it was a reader's digest.
It was super interesting and Ireally appreciate all the
(33:11):
lessons.
Oh, it's always wonderful to bewas a reader's digest.
It was super interesting and Ireally appreciate all the
lessons.
Tricia Parido (33:13):
Oh, it's always wonderful to be in a space with
you.
Daniela SM (33:16):
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Tricia's journey shows me thatour pain does not define us.
It refined us if we are readyor open.
I am grateful for the way sheshowed up here todayest,
unfiltered and with a heart wideopen.
It made me reflect on my owncapacity for resilience and the
(33:36):
wisdom that comes from listeningto oneself Spread the word and
share this episode, allowing theordinary magic to go further.
Join me next time for anotherstory conversation.
Thank you for listening.
Hasta pronto.
Hi, I'm Daniela.
Welcome to my podcast, becauseEveryone has a Story, the place
to give ordinary people'sstories the chance to be shared
and preserved, or stories becomethe language of connections.
Let's enjoy it, connect andrelate, because everyone has a
story.
My guest is Tricia Pareto, avisionary speaker and emotional
(00:24):
strategist, a woman whose lifestory is proof of the
extraordinary strength that canemerge from unimaginable pain.
She brings to life the conceptof emotional agility, a term she
uses with clarity andauthenticity, and I really
really enjoy it with clarity andauthenticity, and I really
(00:46):
really enjoy it.
Tricia's openness and genuinenature makes her a powerful
storyteller and relatable guide.
Through her life experiencesmarked by trauma, resilience and
transformation, shedemonstrates that healing is not
about perfection but aboutmovement, adaptability and
trusting our own inner wisdom.
I truly enjoy having Tricia onthe podcast and love the concept
(01:10):
of emotional agility.
Let's enjoy her story.
Tricia Parido (01:13):
Welcome Tricia to the show, thank you so much,
I'm really happy to be here.
Daniela SM (01:18):
Yes, I'm very happy that you're here too, because I
know you have an interestingstory.
Why do you want to share yourstory?
Tricia Parido (01:24):
You know, I see so much pain and I feel so much
painful energy.
You know I want to share withpeople that we can sit in and
move through the hard and theuncomfortable, and I think
having the ability to live in astate of emotional agility is
just such a gift that I'vereceived in my life that I think
(01:48):
, wow, if I can I don't knowinfuse somebody with a little
agile piece.
Daniela SM (01:55):
Yes, and I know that you use a lot the word
agility, which I love that word.
When does your story start?
Tricia Parido (02:02):
And I really don't like to start there, but
my story starts at the age offour and when I reflect back at
how did I become this being whocan sit in and move through all
of the big hard things that lifehas given me and still embrace
the beautiful things that werehappening for me and arriving
(02:24):
here at 55 years of age andsaying, wow, all of these things
have purpose.
Daniela SM (02:31):
Yes, that's beautiful, and I guess that is
the reason why you have an agilemind At four years old.
What happened, wow?
Tricia Parido (02:39):
Yeah, and I'll say, even between the ages of
four and seven, right, there wasa lot of really cool things.
At four years old I got to goto this fun school pilot program
and then I was reading, writing, doing arithmetic, playing
(02:59):
chess and doing all kinds ofreally wonderful brain
stimulating things, and it'swhere I cultivated my core base
of friends that would follow meuntil, of course, you know the
teen years when we all kind oflearning to swim and play piano
and all kinds of fun things.
But I also experienced somereally hard things, experienced
my first sexual assault at theage of four.
(03:22):
I think I probably exercisedbeing emotionally agile for the
first time, although not knowingit right, like it's also the
first time I learned oh, let'sjust not talk about this and
let's just shove it away andhide it and store it down,
because I didn't, even at theage of four, I didn't go running
(03:42):
to mom or dad who were there,because I didn't, even at the
age of four, I didn't go runningto mom or dad who were there
and home at the time.
You know, I also remember at theage of four, I, you know, I
struggled quite a bit.
There were multiple episodes aday where I would, you know,
stomp my feet and go down thehallway saying nobody loves me.
I just, you know, in thoseearly years there was, you know,
(04:05):
my siblings poked at me a lot,and they didn't know.
They didn't know any better atthe time.
They were quite a bit olderthan me, and so they would poke
at me and tell me I was themilkman's kid or I belonged to
the neighbors and I didn't looka lot like them and I didn't act
a lot like them and I didn'tact a lot like them.
(04:25):
And so they would tell me, youknow, I would hear messages from
the older people in my life,whether it was my siblings, a
grandmother or somebody else inthe adult world Between the ages
of four and seven.
I would hear nobody wants tohear what you have to say, and I
(04:46):
got a lot of, you know,ridicule for, for being spoiled.
So I had all of these externalmessages coming in, and so it
was really quite confusing,because I was being set up to to
succeed and to be seen right,go to school and show your
talents, give the good gradesright, and and there was no
pressure to do that and and Iwas good at all of these things.
(05:08):
Yet I was hearing thesemessages, so I was shrinking on
the inside and trying to figureout how to still do all of those
things.
My dad was killed when I was 12.
And that was right after myparents had separated for a
period of time.
So you went through a reallygood school, had separated for a
period of time.
Daniela SM (05:25):
So you went through a really good school, you were
a really good student, you excel, but you still were hearing all
these different messages thatdidn't match.
And then you became a teenager,which that is confusing with it
in itself, and so what happenedthere?
Tricia Parido (05:43):
So you know the person that was always in such a
great big hurry to grow up.
Daniela SM (05:47):
Well, if you're having older siblings, of course
.
Tricia Parido (05:50):
Well, and my siblings were grown in out of
the house when my father waskilled, and so it was just me
and my mom always in a hurry togrow up, but my physical body
decided it was also in a hurrymy biological clock started
ticking at the age of 16.
I made the choice right, Like Ilistened to my body and I
(06:11):
became a mother by I was a momat 17.
There was a reason for thathere I listened to my body and
the universe was showing me theability to listen and to hear
what was actually being said,Because after my son, I lost two
, developed severe endometriosisand had a few near-death
experiences, and so that was myone and only opportunity to have
(06:36):
my child.
That was like.
You have this innate abilityand talent to know what's going
on and to hear and to listen andto trust and to follow what is
being communicated to you, andso you know that was a big
blessing.
Daniela SM (06:56):
Wow, that's amazing that at such a young age that
you were able to listen to yourbody and to know, the majority
of the people will feelmortified that oh my God, it's
so young.
But here you are in theopposite, feeling that that's
what needs to happen.
Tricia Parido (07:12):
Yeah, and I just chose for the majority of it.
You know I was a single mom.
His dad was in the picture.
We were, we were young right,we were young.
We tried to make it work.
It was ugly for a while.
Yes, without any disparagingintent, our relationship was
ugly.
There was some domesticviolence.
(07:32):
You know other inappropriatethings.
I did have periods of time whereI did, you know, some trauma
drinking, but we figured it outand we figured it out as two
individual beings, right with achild that we loved and cared
for very, very deeply and wereable to navigate that Fast
(07:52):
forward.
You know, with my spouse nowand our very beautifully
combined family like we alwayswith all the kids did combined
birthdays and even just regularholidays We'd say, hey, come
over All of these little thingsthat I can look at through my
life that you know were.
I used to say you know, gosh, Ihave the ability to pull myself
(08:13):
up by the bootstraps and wadethrough the you know the garbage
, to sit in and move throughhard things.
Again, there was you know theearly on, you know sexual
assault when I was a child.
But there were several othersthrough my life that were
between the age of 12 and 23that were.
You know probably a little more.
(08:35):
You know what people wouldrefer to.
You know mainstream sexualassault, mainstream rape.
I had to learn how to navigateand not close myself off.
If you look at some of thethings that I endured that could
be connected to that, there wasanorexia, body dysmorphia, poor
(08:55):
self-esteem.
Realizing that my self-worthwasn't tied to the size of my
waist food was something thatwas important, right, the
restricting was prettysignificant for me during a
period of my life.
And, again, all trauma-inducedright, like relationships not
(09:16):
working out, navigating, being asingle parent, showing up as a
single parent for that child,even though all of these other
things were going on in my life.
Daniela SM (09:26):
And you had your mother's support.
Tricia Parido (09:28):
You know I did, and so that was, you know, key
for me in those first threeyears.
It was critical and I did.
One of my other siblings hadyou know, we had kids kind of in
around at the same time myoldest sister, so she would
watch all the grandchildren.
It was normal because all thekids would go to grandma's to
play and hang out and sometimeshave sleepovers and sometimes
(09:50):
not.
It was wonderful.
Daniela SM (09:51):
And you did get along with your sister, I think
you know sibling, care and love.
Tricia Parido (09:57):
When it comes to that, you know, when I got
pregnant with my son, I alsouncovered something that was a
bit of a shock that biologicallyI had a different father than
who raised me and was removedfrom my life abruptly in a
motorcycle accident when I was12.
(10:17):
When I got pregnant I figuredthis fact out right, like my
blood type wasn't the same asanybody else's.
So anyway, I figured that out.
So you know there was some ofthat in there also, because all
of the stories they would say tome that I didn't belong, that I
didn't look like them, I didn'tact like them, I was so much
different, really came true.
(10:39):
They were right, I was.
I had to navigate that and itplayed a big role in my life
because here I went some veryimportant years without a father
figure and could have had one.
But then, in the same respect,you know what, I wouldn't have
changed my life or my lifestylethat my mother and I created for
(11:01):
ourselves, because it createdwho I am today and I have a
wonderful adult relationshipwith my biological father and
have had since I was 18 yearsold.
So just a lot of complexity.
And so you look back at thatand you go, yes, well, they have
to be agile.
Definitely yes, because whatelse are you going to do?
(11:22):
Get rigid, be angry, be bitter,you know, be hurt, be scorned
and fall apart or I don't know.
Sit in and move through it andsee how it can be something
great going forward and youfigured this out by yourself.
Daniela SM (11:37):
Like I should be agile versus not.
Tricia Parido (11:40):
I didn't know that's what I was doing, right
Like I figured this stuff outover the last 12 plus years.
I was just studying behavioralpsychology and comparing it to
the different things and how Ihandled and navigated things
through life and being able toconnect the dots back to that.
(12:01):
And I did that in studying thebehavioral psych in my own
recovery journey.
I have developed generalizedanxiety disorder and, if I back
up a little bit right like thosenear-death experiences led to a
full hysterectomy aftersuffering physically for 10
years because nobody was goingto give an 18-year-old a
(12:24):
hysterectomy when things reallystarted going bad.
So I had to wait a decade.
So I had multiple abdominalsurgeries to try to keep things
functioning.
At 29, I had a fullhysterectomy.
I was already in full-blownmenopause.
That's what I meant.
Not only was I emotionally,cognitively advanced and well
(12:47):
beyond my years, my physicalbody was in a hurry.
So I had to then say, well, howam I going to reverse engineer
this?
Well, first I developed fourautoimmune diseases rheumatoid
arthritis I was battling, mixedconnective tissue disease,
Sjogren and gastroparesis.
(13:08):
I developed generalized anxietydisorder after my hysterectomy.
Hormone levels were wrong, etcetera, et cetera.
I was a low-level daily drinker,Couple Coors, Lights in the
evening Weekends.
Sure, right, Like my husbandand I would, you know, maybe
drink more than that around thepool.
Sure, knowing what I know now,I could have diagnosed myself as
(13:30):
having an alcohol dependence.
I grew up that way.
I was a child of the 70s Not toplacate it, right, Because,
like I said, there was trauma,drink, late adolescence and
early 20s, which is normal tocome along with numerous sexual
assaults, et cetera.
You know, my medical providerprescribed me Xanax, very deadly
(13:50):
combination which I came tolearn afterwards, and they
prescribed it to me over thecourse of five years.
And so it was a very quiet,physiological addiction that
that happened.
And so there was a day that Iwas like I had to tell my
husband like I need to go, Ineed to go to a detox, like a
medical detox, and he's like,why now?
And I'm like because I can'tnot.
(14:11):
So the two had becomesynergistic and dependent upon
in my physical body.
I found myself a maintenancedrinker and somebody who had to
have a certain amount of Xanaxevery day, and it was just and I
couldn't go without that.
Right, Like I wasn't.
It wasn't to levels of suchsevere intoxication that I was
(14:33):
like laying on the couch passedout.
It was a maintenance.
I was a control freak, highachieving control freak, and I'm
like this doesn't work for me,but you were working and high
functioning and everything withall that.
Daniela SM (14:45):
Yes, I was a stay-at-home mother.
Tricia Parido (14:49):
right between the two of us we had five children.
My husband traveled a lot forbusiness.
Our oldest daughter had cancerwhen she was a freshman in high
school.
Daniela SM (14:57):
But you still figured out that you did have a
problem, because it seems likeyou were working really well
with all that.
Tricia Parido (15:03):
Yeah, physically, I started to have withdrawal
symptoms that I had never hadbefore in my life at the age of
43.
I'm like I don't know what'shappening, but this isn't right.
So I went to a medical detox.
So this is how I got into thewhole behavioral psych realm,
you know, because I had to knowwhat happened.
In that studying I uncoveredthat when folks are reliant on
(15:25):
things outside of themselves tobring them peace, joy, comfort,
relief, right, so that could bealcohol, that could be pills,
xanax, that could be sugar, itcould be food of any kind, it
could be the Amazon shoppingcart, it could be the
people-cleansing codependency.
It's the perfectionism, it'sall those things we're relying
(15:47):
on the social media, the thumbsup to validate us After
detoxification and deciding like, hey, my recovery journey is
going to look like a whole lotof education.
I'm done.
Never turned back Completelysober.
I have no desire to alter mycognitive way of being, my
emotional way of being.
I figure what the heck right,like this thing called living is
(16:09):
supposed to be experience.
I had all four of thoseautoimmune diseases attacking my
body.
So here's my body talking to meagain, because I didn't doesn't
make it right for anybody else,but I started listening to my
body and in doing so I was ableto remove all four of them.
I did that with my relationshipwith food, so I figured out
(16:31):
exactly which foods negativelyimpacted the functioning of my
body, modified how I eat, how Iget nourishment, vitamins,
minerals all the things to workfor my unique system.
Of course, I tried all of thecookie cutter copy paste things
the low FODMAP, the this, thethat.
Nothing served me.
(16:52):
So I created the right versionfor my physical body and I no
longer have any of those things.
They don't show up in bloodtests nothing.
Daniela SM (17:01):
But that's the hard part, Like you know.
Yes, you have always been,since you were 16, listening to
your body.
Very well, but how does otherpeople can?
That's just very difficult.
Tricia Parido (17:13):
Well, and the cool part is, remember I said,
if we go back, when I was doingmy behavioral psych studies, I
started looking at the theories,the methods, the standardized
practices and looking at how wasI already using those things in
my life?
Where did I use them?
(17:34):
How did it serve me?
And then I converted them.
I converted them to a we'llcall it a coaching modality,
created the entire system andthen a blueprint for myself,
like, oh, this is cool, right,like I can use this for anything
that life throws at me, goingforward from today on right Back
(17:55):
then, and it works, and itworked well for me.
And I still eat, sleep, breatheit.
It has become part of who I am,it is my being.
And so when I was doing myinternship and getting my
supervised hours, I startedsharing my blueprint, the way
(18:16):
that I learned how toincorporate these theories,
methods and modalities into mylife, when I started teaching
people how to also do that forthemselves.
And that's when I starteduncovering that you know the
standardized or the self-helpbook Not that I don't like
self-help books I'm working onone myself right now right, but
(18:40):
you know, if we learn how tolook at a concept and say how
can I use this in my life in away that serves me in this
situation, that situation,whatever it is, then we're onto
something.
So that's what I did.
Daniela SM (18:58):
Can you be more specific?
Can you give me an example ofhow you did the?
Tricia Parido (19:01):
food.
The Locus of Control Theory byJulian Rotter.
Well, most people wouldn't knowthat one, but think about Mel
Robbins' Let them and I alludedto this one earlier.
Right, we're looking at thingsoutside of us, we're sad.
We go to the ice cream aisle atthe store, we buy a bucket of
ice cream and there we go.
That's an external locus ofcontrol In this theory.
(19:23):
We were all born in the externallocus of control position.
Cry to get a bottle or changeour diaper.
As we grow we learn to stand up, walk, pull up our pants, go to
the bathroom, which is movingto the internal locus of control
position, which we're allsupposed to.
We're supposed to navigatethrough how to be for ourselves.
(19:46):
But here's where society kindof derails that right.
And as parents we don't knowwe're doing it.
But kid falls down, scrapestheir knee.
What do you do?
While you're cleaning it up,you put a popsicle in their
mouth.
You teach them that as asoothing tactic, versus a
self-soothing tactic which isallowing that kid to sit there
and be upset because they're inpain, they're scared or whatever
(20:09):
.
While you're cleaning it andallow them to see that the
popsicle will have no bearing onyour ability to keep going
forward.
When kids do well in school, wegive them accolades, gold stars,
we praise them.
It's their job to do their bestand we need to teach them to
ask for help when they'restruggling.
Instead, we teach them we'regoing to praise you, praise you,
(20:30):
praise you.
And then, when they arestruggling, they're like oh God,
they're going to think I'm dumbor bleh.
So this is that locus ofcontrol.
We have to figure out how to beokay, regardless whether we're
doing well, we can be proud ofourselves, or if we're
struggling, we can say can I getsome help with this?
(20:52):
So I took theories, methods andmodalities, like the locus of
control theory, and I created anentire system.
Daniela SM (20:56):
How do you do the food?
How do you listen to your body?
Tricia Parido (21:01):
Oh, that takes dedication.
You have to spend time, so youhave to not put 20 different
things in your gut at the sametime, right, if you don't make a
big salad.
I love salads with all kinds ofthings seeds, nuts, fruits,
vegetables, all the things inthe salad, the protein because
then you don't know what yourbody's react, right?
So it's kind of a slow process.
(21:21):
I know how to pull out and readsymptoms, but for me what I
identified was nightshades.
So tomatoes, peppers, thingslike that, right, they cause me
inflammation.
I was drinking kombuchathinking, oh, I'm doing
something great.
And every time I did, my gutwould just stand and I'm like,
(21:44):
well, this makes zero sense.
And I looked and they all hadginger in them.
It's about leaning in and trulylistening, which means you know
you log your food, sure, butthe more important part is the
logging of cognitively,emotionally and physically.
How do I feel every single hour?
Daniela SM (22:05):
So you were eating one thing.
Tricia Parido (22:07):
No, I would eat a couple of things, so like I
would have a protein and I wouldchoose a vegetable right Like,
not a medley, so you canidentify right Like I knew
chicken didn't bug me, I knewfish didn't bug me, and so you
discovered that there weremostly vegetables that were
causing issues, becauseobviously you were eating clean,
(22:30):
otherwise, like you were noteating potatoes or pasta.
No, right, Like I strugglebecause you know I don't get to
have my red sauce and I have tobe very choosy and limited with
my pasta, my bread, my salami,my cheese.
So it was identifying how muchcheese I can have and of what
(22:52):
kind, before it starts provokingmy body.
Just last night I made athousand island dressing with a
little bit of ketchup.
I could feel it coming out ofmy body when I went to bed.
I was itchy, my skin felt likeit was crawling just because I
had a little bit of tomato.
But that's how much.
I've broken it down and know howto identify.
(23:14):
Now I've been at it for years,but I spent a solid year and I
would say if somebody wants todedicate a year, they'll find
out.
Yes, I had to remove refinedsugars.
Refined sugars are veryinflammatory and refined sugars
are in a lot of foods.
So it's about knowing like, hey, if I want a sauce, I've got to
(23:34):
make it myself, because that'sthe only way it's not going to
have those things they put in itwhen you were on vacation.
Daniela SM (23:40):
You ate things that you wouldn't eat here.
It didn't affect you.
Tricia Parido (23:45):
Oh, yes, yes and yes, I can go to Italy and eat
an entire pizza.
So when I'm here and I'm eatingpasta, right like, I buy pasta
that's been imported from Italyso that I have that different
quality that I know my body willtolerate.
My longest relationship and thething that I have to pay
(24:05):
attention to the most, is myrelationship with food, because
it is tied to so many things.
It's tied to my physicalwell-being, eating disorders,
it's tied to body dysmorphia,it's tied to all kinds of things
, and so it's probably the onethat I embrace the most.
Daniela SM (24:23):
Yes, so it's quite interesting.
I was going to say that youwere also a bit empathic because
you were able to think aboutthe body.
It's not easy to be to listen.
I mean I listened.
Sometimes I had a lot of youknow, I like somehow I get
bloated, like I'm five monthspregnant, and he heard so much
that I cannot even close mypants.
(24:44):
So at the beginning I thoughtit was you know, endometriosis
and stuff, and I went through asimilar operations like you and
then I had a partialhysterectomy and since then I
said, okay, it's cure, I'm nevergonna have this again.
But then I realized that it'snot true that when I get
stressed or something, I justget this.
Tricia Parido (25:06):
You know, I mean it could be a lot of things,
right, like, of course we haveto, you know, break it down.
For me that could have been oh,was there a cucumber in that
thing I just ate?
Was there a raw onion that Ididn't notice?
It could be a lot of things.
It could just be leaky gut from.
Daniela SM (25:23):
Whatever you, ate and it's just it, just no.
Sometimes it's in the morning.
You know, I wake up in themorning and I drank some water
and immediately, like I, I feelthat it's coming and I'm like,
what did I do?
Nothing has happened.
What is it?
Tricia Parido (25:37):
well, you gotta look back 72 hours or more,
right depending.
For me, with gastroparesismeaning slow digestion things
would take four days to processthrough my body.
It's just very interesting.
Daniela SM (25:53):
But you're correct, I am very empathic and it's
something you learn about yourbody and you start to be
observant about your food intakeand you took away those four
illness, that you hadimmunological issues, right.
(26:14):
And then what happened?
Do you always knew that youwere empathic and you developed
that too, or you just developedthat now?
What else have you been doingsince then?
Tricia Parido (26:23):
I look back at my life and know that I've been
empathic my whole life, but Ididn't learn about it.
I didn't see that that's whatit was until my journey
throughout this last 10, 15years.
Daniela SM (26:35):
Were you were studying behavioral science.
Tricia Parido (26:38):
So the more interested I became in myself
and studying and learning andcomparing, and so the more
interested we come in ourselvesas beings, the less we see oh,
that happened to me because ofthis negative person or that or
person, right, like when I wasraped 13 year old, you know,
take that on and be like, thisperson did this to me, right?
(27:01):
So, you know, when I talk aboutthese things that happened to
me in my life, right, I'm ableto say, like that was the bad
act of another being.
It had zero to do with me, itwas merely the vessel, and if it
hadn't have been me, it wouldhave been somebody else.
I lived through it, I survivedwhere, where perhaps most other
(27:27):
or many other young ladies wouldcrumble.
So.
So perhaps it was so that Icould show like other people,
like you, don't have to let thebad act of another being define
who you are.
You can still succeed, you canstill have a great life, you can
still have your big family,your good career, yada, yada.
Daniela SM (27:47):
So then, after these, you decided to become a
coach.
Tricia Parido (27:50):
You know, originally I thought I would
want to be in standardizedpractice right Like I went to
school so that I could go workin the industry and help people
emotionally and to overcomeaddictions, eating disorders et
cetera.
Early in my studies I realizedtalk therapy and counseling
really wasn't my personality.
I discovered the coachingmodality.
(28:11):
So I don't necessarily callmyself a coach but I do practice
for my coaching modalitybecause it's forward moving,
it's problem aware, solutionfocused, it's right, and so what
are you up to now?
Daniela SM (28:27):
You said that you wanted to write your writing
book.
Tricia Parido (28:31):
You know, I have my core foundational system
blueprint whatever methods andmodalities that that I that I
utilize and and then I have thisamazing focus group where every
month we just have a, you know,advanced focus that we're that
we work on right throughout thewhole month and we get together
(28:53):
once a week and, like this monthwe were, our focus was
emotional agility, so we workedon that all month long and and
so in in the recording of thatI've been doing some
transcribing.
So what I really am looking tobe putting together is, well,
(29:16):
the title of it is going to beI'm Not Okay and I'm Not Giving
Up here Really going to be thetranscription of me teaching
each of the lessons, and I justdid a wonderful, well-deserved
it's been over a decade, it'stime to update recordings of it.
(29:38):
So it's going to be a book thatcan go along with the program
or could be standalone.
I have a lot of clients thatlike to write down everything I
say and I'm like ah right, sowe'll put it in a book format.
It'll be interactive.
So many versions of theworksheets will be there, but I
believe I'm going to also do anaudible version so that people
(30:00):
can listen while they're readingand they can write in there at
the same time.
And it's, it's just going to bea wonderful companion for a
year long journey.
Daniela SM (30:08):
Wonderful, and when do you think you're going to
have that done?
Tricia Parido (30:11):
Oh, goodness gracious, I'm hoping early next
year.
Daniela SM (30:15):
Oh, wow, that's pretty good.
Yes, it sounds reallyinteresting and I and I think
that if you sharing your storytoo, it's quite interesting
because people can relate morewhen when they hear like you
know, it's just, you're just no,just saying it, it worked for
you.
Although when they hear likeyou know, it's just, you know,
just saying it, it worked foryou.
Although you know everybody hastheir formula and nobody's the
(30:35):
same as others.
We know that.
I know that already.
Yeah.
Tricia Parido (30:39):
I tell people I'm like hey, don't even use my
formula, add it, delete, change,shift, morph it.
Daniela SM (30:43):
Let me give you the concept we all have to learn
and it took me years.
I'm not satisfied with theanswer that we are all different
and there's no one formula foreveryone.
I will have prefer that it willbe one formula so I can move on
with other things that I wantto do, but no, you, you know,
with exercise, with food,spiritual things, everybody has
(31:06):
their own way for me, and Ialways have said this that we
are here to learn who we are andwhat fit us, and that's all we
have and is is difficult becausethe society doesn't teach us
that, and so we spend so manyyears thinking about other
people and trying to copy allthis other things instead of
like hearing us yeah, hearing usmore disable all.
Tricia Parido (31:32):
My life motto, which is in my, is one of my
favorite things in the world,because once I took it on as my
life motto, when I when I wroteit for myself, I went, oh wow,
this is really cool, cause I getto give it to every other being
on the planet, and so my life'smotto is this is my life too.
It gets to look, feel, behowever I want it to.
(31:55):
I get to choose right Like.
I don't have to, I don't haveto fit in any box.
Daniela SM (32:00):
Yes, that's true.
We put things in boxes becauseit's easier to understand that,
but of course it's not right.
Tricia Parido (32:06):
Just start getting interested in yourself
and whatever that looks like.
The best thing we can do forourselves is to worry about and
to think about what we think,feel, believe and need.
You know the core foundationright is live for yourself first
, and then you can really goforward from there.
(32:27):
So when we have that deeperunderstanding and knowledge and
we learn how to actually utilizeemotional intelligence, not
just know what emotionalintelligence is, then we can
actually live in a state ofemotional agility and experience
abundant peace.
Daniela SM (32:49):
Yes, and you know, having your agility mindset, all
the negative you turned it intohaving a lot of positive rather
than having more negative.
So, yes, this is wonderful.
So, tricia, thank you so muchfor sharing your story.
I know it was a reader's digest.
It was super interesting and Ireally appreciate all the
(33:11):
lessons.
Oh, it's always wonderful to bewas a reader's digest.
It was super interesting and Ireally appreciate all the
lessons.
Tricia Parido (33:13):
Oh, it's always wonderful to be in a space with
you.
Daniela SM (33:16):
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Tricia's journey shows me thatour pain does not define us.
It refined us if we are readyor open.
I am grateful for the way sheshowed up here todayest,
unfiltered and with a heart wideopen.
It made me reflect on my owncapacity for resilience and the
(33:36):
wisdom that comes from listeningto oneself Spread the word and
share this episode, allowing theordinary magic to go further.
Join me next time for anotherstory conversation.
Thank you for listening.
Hasta pronto.
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