December 16, 2024 • 45 mins
Elona Lopari's journey from Albanian immigrant to corporate success showcases resilience and transformation. As her family's bridge to a new life, she balanced logic and discipline with her siblings' creative freedom.
Elona, CEO of The Life School, helps purpose-driven leaders build impactful businesses through alignment, branding, and team growth. As a bestselling author and speaker, she connects communities with heart and vision.
Elona's transition from corporate life to entrepreneurship sparked deep self-discovery. Confronting imposter syndrome and the search for validation, she gained strength by aligning her goals with her personal values. Through the emotional ups and downs of starting a business, she found stability in meditation and community support. Elona's journey highlights the interconnectedness of growth, tradition, and innovation, reminding us of the importance of connection and mutual support in life and business.
Let's enjoy her story!
To connect with Elona:
https://www.elonaloparicoaching.com/media-press-speaking.html
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Daniela SM (00:01):
Hi, I'm Daniela.
Welcome to my podcast, becauseEveryone has a Story, the place
to give ordinary people'sstories the chance to be shared
and preserved.
Our stories become the languageof connections.
Let's enjoy it, connect andrelate, because everyone has a
story.
Welcome.
(00:21):
My guest today is Elona Lopari.
I am so excited to share thisconversation with Elona,
recorded four months ago.
At the time, my husband and Iwere planning a month-long trip
to Albania, her home country.
Now, after experiencingAlbanians' beauty and warmth
firsthand, I am even moreinspired by her remarkable
(00:44):
journey.
Born firsthand, I am even moreinspired by her remarkable
journey from an Albanianimmigrant in New York to a
corporate leader and now the CEOof the Life School.
Elona's mission is to helppurpose-driven leaders building
impactful businesses, and herstory is one of resilience,
self-discovery and connection, areflection of growth, tradition
(01:06):
and living a life of purpose.
Let's enjoy her story.
Welcome, ilona, to the show.
Thank you so much, daniela.
It's a pleasure to be here.
I know I'm really excited.
Also, it's my first guest thatis original from Albania.
Elona Lopari (01:21):
Yes, excited to have a conversation.
Daniela SM (01:24):
Albania is a beautiful country I know, but of
course I know you live in NewYork, right?
Elona Lopari (01:28):
Yes, I'm currently based out of Brooklyn,
New York, for the last 25 years.
Daniela SM (01:33):
All right, perfect.
Tell me why you want to shareyour story, because I've always
learned from other people'sstories.
Elona Lopari (01:39):
I've always seen my own admiration, things I was
overcoming through, you know,reading other people's stories,
listening to their stories.
So I really feel like, ashumans, this is how we've always
have learned and grown andevolved.
So I really feel like maybe myexperience could potentially be
that for somebody else.
Daniela SM (01:59):
Yes, and I agree with that.
I think sometimes it's betterto listen to many stories of
people than actually reading alot of help books.
And when does your story start?
Elona Lopari (02:09):
Well, we could go back, as my origin you know,
all the way to Albania.
So I was born in the capitalTirana, lived in Albania for 15
years, had a pretty goodchildhood over the years, a lot
of social outside games with mylittle community, which I now
kind of like always look backand admire because we're very
creative.
We didn't have a lot ofmaterial things, but we'll be
(02:31):
outside, we'll connect with myfriends and we'd mostly be more
outside than inside the home.
So that was pretty much mychildhood.
And then a civil war happenedin Albania.
It is a small country and itinvaded, you know historically,
many different other countries.
So there was a civil war thatwas happening when I turned 15
and I was in the first year ofhigh school and it was pretty
(02:53):
unsafe A lot of guns everywhere,a lot of killings, a lot of
safety like that.
So my dad actually applied foran American visa.
He didn't know, obviously, thathe was going to get it, but he
just had this intuition thatokay.
So everybody, you know, waslooking to leave the country and
he always was attracted towardsthe US because I guess what he
(03:15):
had heard the brand name, theopportunities, the fact that
it's the land of the Americandream and all of that.
So he applied, he won and wewere able to move here.
So I moved to the US,specifically still Brooklyn.
I haven't moved from the sameborough that I landed here as
with my immigrant parents.
I guess the fun and thechallenges started because I had
(03:37):
to grow up very fast.
I was the oldest, I had mysiblings which were younger.
I also knew the language.
I had a course that I attendedin Albania so I knew some sort
of English.
So I was really right awayadapting, incorporating, to help
my parents because they didn'tspeak the English language, they
didn't know anything or anyone.
Those first beginnings ofgetting their first job just try
(04:00):
to survive, obviously, not evenworry about thriving.
So that's what I did.
I grew up very fast.
I got my first couple of jobs.
The American dream wasinstilled in me very early.
My dad especially.
He's like we came here, you gotto go to college, get a good
degree, get married, build afamily, build your career, be
successful.
Those are all things that Ikind of the blueprint I have to
(04:22):
follow and I did do that.
I got my bachelor's businessmanagement finance degree and
then I climbed the corporateladder for a fortune 500 company
which happened to be in growthmode.
Daniela SM (04:31):
It's been really difficult to grow internally,
like where you're always verymature and it wasn't too
shocking to be like, okay, now Ihave to be so responsible.
Elona Lopari (04:40):
I always had a strong sense of what I want,
even as a child.
I always had a strong sense ofwhat I want, even as a child.
That's why I was disciplinedvery much for my being
mischievous, like I had astubborn head.
I was always determined.
That's always something that Ihave as a character.
When it came up to me kind ofstepping it up here, I just
(05:03):
honestly didn't feel like I hadto think twice about it because
I'm like I can do it, I can help.
You know, I know the language.
I guess I was always wiser thanyou know the years that I had
and the responsibility reallyshaped me early on as well,
because I just missed a lot ofmy teenage years, which
obviously later on I regret someof that experience that I
didn't have, but everythingworks out.
(05:24):
But I think, yeah, I was alwaysthe wise soul, the responsible
person.
Maybe being a first siblingalso does that, because I can
sit down with my kids and mylittle one, which is my boy, is
more laid back and for me thatwas my experience.
Daniela SM (05:40):
And so you had siblings.
How many siblings you had.
I have two other siblings, andthey were also behaviors as you.
The same many siblings you had?
I have two other siblings andthey were also behaviors as you.
The same personality as you?
No, actually very different.
Elona Lopari (05:51):
That was the fun part.
My sister, which is the smallerbaby, she's always been more
creative, more like kind of justyou know, free soul, always
following her thing.
And my also, my, my brother.
It's also pretty similarpersonality to her, more in the
feeling side, and to her, moreon the feeling side, and I'm
more always on the logical side.
We all have very differentpersonalities.
To them, yeah, they didn'tlisten to that American dream.
(06:14):
They always followed their gutfine, even some things that our
parents obviously wanted forthem.
And you know, having the fearof being judged like why don't
you have some stability withyour job, for example, for my
brother or, you know, my sister,she had some of her own
challenges, but now that Iobviously understand people
better, I think it's definitelypart of their journey and their
(06:36):
own personality and characters.
Daniela SM (06:38):
They were just honoring that.
Yes, I think it's all aboutpersonality and how you candle
life and see life right.
So then what happened?
You went to college and then,so I went to college, got my
bachelor's degree.
Elona Lopari (06:51):
Even that I was a super achiever.
I got it in three years.
It was a bachelor's, whichusually takes four, so I'm like
I'm going to plan it out tookclasses, all of that.
I guess I always like goals.
I think that's another thingthat always follows me.
I like to pursue something.
I like to have something thatwakes me up in the morning, gets
(07:14):
me excited.
I just get bored very fast.
So that was one of my firstgoals and I got my degree.
And then, once I started workingat the corporation I work for,
I just climbed the ladder.
I was just again goal-oriented.
I was there doing work.
I was always seeingopportunities, being the high
performer, all of that.
I happen to be in a good companybecause obviously you can do
all of that in other places, butit doesn't mean that you get to
(07:36):
have that experience.
I really feel blessed foreverything that happened to me
because through all of thoseopportunities that were handed
to me, I was able to see otherparts of myself and build a lot
of my personal professionalexperience within roles of
leadership, marketing.
I did HR for many years withthem.
So all that variety ofexperience just really formed
(07:58):
the professional side of who Iam and I saw that I have a very
good neck for leadership.
I was always good with people,but I'm very good at
understanding what they need,how to connect them to the main
purpose and how to place peoplewhere they would like to be so
they can thrive, based on theexperiences, their gifts, their
(08:20):
goals and all of that.
That's why HR is also somethingvery important to me, because
it's the people resource ofthings, kind of what I learned
in my corporate experience.
Until the company was acquiredby another company.
I was there for 13 years.
That journey also had an endwhere I felt unfulfilled.
Everybody was seeing like anumber.
It was profit driven.
(08:40):
It completely changed to what Iwas used to.
So it just, I guess I read thesilver lining and I started
looking for something new.
Daniela SM (08:49):
And at the meantime you were, you had a boyfriend
and you were thinking about.
You know, the other part of theAmerican dream.
Elona Lopari (08:57):
Oh, I mean, I was married.
I met my husband, which iswe've together for 20 years, at
17.
Oh wow, mutual friends veryearly.
Yeah, we were engaged for fouryears and then we got married.
Then my first daughter was borna year after, and then my son
two years and a half after.
And then we bought our home,did some other investments, we
(09:21):
traveled, we did some of thethings that we thought were, you
know, the right things to do tobe able to have the dream but
also enjoy life.
Because one thing that I see inmy parents is that they just
didn't enjoy their lives andthey didn't do a lot of the
things that they wanted.
So I think that drove me tomake sure that obviously we'll
work hard, because I'm notafraid of work, I love to work
(09:41):
and challenge myself and myhusband's the same.
It was just a matter of how canwe keep this balanced so that
we still do the things we careabout, grow our base, our family
, our foundational financialsand all of that, but still be
able to enjoy our lives.
23 years, my daughter's 17, myson is 14, still together.
Daniela SM (10:05):
Wonderful, all right .
So you keep having the dream.
You got the family, you got thejob and all the success.
So what else did you wereachieving or was searching for
looking?
Elona Lopari (10:18):
within because I really had a lot of misalignment
from what I had achieved.
On the outside Everybody's like, oh my God, you have everything
you want and all of thesethings, but on the inside I was
not happy and through thehealing process of discovering
(10:39):
what was going on with me, Irealized that a lot of the
achievement was because I wasnot feeling good enough.
So I just always felt like Ineed to chase something so that
you know I can be worthy of love.
And that connected more to alsomy father always praising me
for achieving a lot of like somedeep personal stuff there.
(10:59):
That happened.
That's when I started to startpersonal development and
entrepreneurship and my husbandhe was an entrepreneur before me
, just through a simpleconversation, I was very unhappy
where I was and I'm like dude,I don't want to do another nine
to five.
Another company feels likeboring, like I've been there,
done that, like my journey, Ineed to have something else.
So that's whereentrepreneurship showed up for
(11:19):
me and he's like, very simply,it's like you have so many new
skills and experience, why don'tyou just start your own
business?
And to me that connected.
At that time I said, oh, my eyeslit up because I've always been
independent, so that attractedme.
Oh, I can be independent, I canhave freedom because I was in
the C-suite, so it's a naturalmarket to transition into,
(11:53):
because even that takes thistime to evolve.
I mean, you don't always knowwhere you want to position
yourself, who are the peopleyou're going to help, how you're
going to help, how you standout all these traditional
marketing stuff.
So I took my time withconnecting the dots and then I
went into career coachingbecause I always felt like I
want to help everyday women.
I want to come out of corporate, because when you're in
(12:15):
corporate so long, I wanted tojust explore other things.
That wasn't really asfulfilling still.
So I kept searching and then Ilanded with a business thing,
then leadership, because thoseare always my two strongest
gifts and that's what I do today.
I help people align theirpurpose with profit, much like
myself, so they can do more goodin the world, build a self-led
(12:36):
company that they can pass down,philanthropy, exit whatever
they would like to do.
Daniela SM (12:43):
Wow, but Alona, was it easy?
Like you know, you have a lotof skills and having a business
is not always easy.
So how was the process for you?
Elona Lopari (12:52):
Nothing is easy if it's going to be worth it.
For the first two years, Ithought of quitting every day
and going to safety.
Safety was all I knew, you know, a steady salary and all of
that Because entrepreneurshipwill test you.
Obviously, I had skills andnothing ever was wasted.
I always was able to adapt alot of what I knew with the new
skills I needed to gain.
(13:12):
However, that was a lot ofnewness to business, right?
Because a lot of the digitalways to do business, a lot of
these different things that Ihad to learn, kept me going,
because I've always been acurious child.
So I think the growth that Isaw kept me really excited, so
that the days where I felt likeI'm doing a lot of work and
(13:33):
where's my result Becauseusually that would be my story I
would just lean back and saybut look how much you've
actually learned, and especiallywhen I would meditate, I would
be very connected with.
This is where I'm supposed tobe, always check back.
With that, a lot of thechallenges were easier to
overcome a lot of fear, a lot ofimposter.
(13:53):
Who am I to do what I do?
Who am I to dream big?
Who am I to have this bigvision?
What is the success going to doto me?
Are the people around me goingto still love me?
Are they going to love me forwho I am?
Are they going to love me formy money?
A lot of stuff came up.
All of that, again, was justtriggers that I needed to learn
and heal from so that I could bewhere I am now.
Daniela SM (14:17):
Yes, when you meditate that you said, oh, what
have I achieved?
And then you're like, okay,let's see what I have done, all
that I have learned.
And you know, sometimes I thinklike that too is true.
I don't have titles, but I havelearned so many things, going
from different industries andlearning so many interesting
things for myself, that I thinkI'm really rich.
It's just that it's notsomething that society counts,
(14:41):
and so you always, you know,start getting confused with what
the real values are.
Elona Lopari (14:46):
Yeah, Daniela, something I learned over the
years is to tap into my innerintuition.
And now, obviously, when I ask,I get really good answers.
But before it was veryconfusing it would.
I would just lean into a lot offear and I couldn't really hear
myself.
So I think that's been myguiding star, now that I know
how to do it and I work througha lot of the emotional processes
(15:06):
that need to happen.
But yeah, I think there's alwaysgoing to be a misalignment
between what you feel, howyou're transforming yourself,
and what other people see on theoutside.
Because you'd always get asked.
I would get asked from myhusband, like what are you
working on?
Like I couldn't always, likeyou know, tell, because if
you're not at that level or ifyou're not matching people are
(15:28):
not matching the communityaround you or where you are, and
they don't really understand.
Which is why I've learnedcommunity is very important in
entrepreneurship, just likeanything really.
But I mean, it's a lonelyjourney.
Not everybody understands youremotional roller coasters
because you go through so muchof that.
It's just the journey, it'snothing to do about it.
You just have to learn how tobuild resilience.
(15:49):
But yeah, it feels lonelybecause a lot of the results
you're working for are going tomanifest, I don't know three,
six months down the line.
So you're always working prettymuch in the future, backwards.
But now obviously you learn theprocesses and experience helps a
lot.
Right, because we don't haveexperience, everything is like
weird and new and you don't knowif you're going in the right
direction.
You don't know if you'rewasting your time.
(16:10):
You don't know if you'reobviously you're taking away
funds and money from your familyor other things that are
necessary to grow something.
Over time.
Experience teaches you a lotand that's why my company is
called the Life School, becauseI love experience.
The more experience you have,the more you can add value
towards other people.
And with experience you learnto calm down because everything
(16:31):
is a predictable process,because I've always been a very
process oriented person.
So I'm like, okay, there's aprocess and now I can do it for
other people easier.
But you know, with businessthere's a process to growing it.
I think once you learn that,then it kind of gives you a lot
of safety and security and belike okay, well, I'm never going
to go back to an old version ofme, I'm always going to evolve.
(16:52):
So what are the chances that Iwill lose.
I'm not.
I'm just going to learn or I'mgoing to get what I want.
Only two options, so just keepat it.
Daniela SM (17:03):
Yes, that sounds great.
And, ilona, you said at thebeginning that you were a very
logical person and lessemotional.
However, now you said that youhave learned a lot to follow
your intuition.
Is that any challenging for you?
Elona Lopari (17:16):
Very, challenging Language of feelings, the
language of intuition, thelanguage of spirituality was
almost like a whole otherlanguage for me, because I was
so into the left brain as apersonality and also, obviously,
13 years.
When you work in corporatestructures, you tend to be very
much in the doing, programmed todo, do, do, do, do.
(17:38):
And now when you come out onthe other side, I didn't know
how to be, because when I wouldbe, I would feel like I'm
supposed to be doing something.
There was a lot of inner workto get awareness around and
figure out my own processes thatworked for me, but it was
almost like I went on the otherend, a 360 degree of
(18:00):
transformation.
And now I feel very comfortablein this and now I can go back
and forth, which is beautiful.
So when I need that, I mean youalso need the doing.
You know, I mean I get, needthe doing, I get my intuition,
but I have to execute it rightBecause otherwise it just stays
in my mind.
So all of it is needed.
However, now obviously I couldsay that I'm very much more
(18:22):
harmonized in my emotions.
They call it feminine energy ormasculine energy in some of the
concepts, but just kind ofbeing more in that flow, I feel.
That's where I am now.
Daniela SM (18:33):
And what is the difference between being and
having a lot of emotions thatsometimes don't are not that
positive.
Elona Lopari (18:40):
Yeah, I've learned two processes.
I'm glad you asked me thatbecause for the longest I had to
always figure out there's gotto be a process, because when I
get I don't understand what'shappening.
I get overwhelmed and I shutmyself down.
That was my coping mechanism.
I would avoid things, I woulddetach.
But we all know that well.
I realized that that wasn't agood technique because
everything kept showing up inother ways.
(19:02):
So I'm like, okay, shoot, thisdoesn't work.
So I've learned two processeswith that.
The first one is whenuncomfortable feelings come,
which they will come.
I mean, I usually don't want totalk about positive feelings,
because we all love the positivefeelings, like nobody cares
about getting rid of those.
But it's the negative feelings,the fear, the anxiety, the
uncertainty, the knot in thestomach, you know the all of
(19:25):
these negative emotions, whichare low level emotions.
When they come, I've learned toembrace them.
I've learned to just be my ownbest friend, have empathy for
myself the same way I would doit for other people.
I've learned to give that to myown self, where, if there's a
big emotion that I can't reallyunderstand why, I just stay
curious and I say it's okay tohave this emotion, right, it's
(19:48):
okay that you feel afraid totake that next step or make that
decision.
It is a scary decision.
So I would just go through itand, honestly, what I've learned
emotions like waves in thisocean, it's like takes like five
seconds and it just left me.
So I realized that, wait, thisis not that hard, because I
would think like I would die,like I can't handle a negative
(20:10):
emotion.
So I've realized the process isso seamless.
So then, the more I did it, themore I kind of just loved the
process, because I'm like oh,there's an uncomfortable emotion
, let me kind of sit with it andfeel it in my body, in my heart
, wherever it showed up.
I mean, for me, sometimesanxiety shows up in the gut, but
people have different reactionsto the body, obviously, so you
(20:32):
just learn your own.
And then I do that process.
First I go through feeling ofthe emotions, validating them,
and then calming myself down andgrounding myself with that
emotional piece.
The next piece I do is journalmy beliefs, the story that was
coming up for me, because you'vegot to do both, otherwise, if
we don't tackle the brain, theemotion is going to keep coming
back, and that's what I wasmissing in my process.
(20:54):
I'm like I would just do thebelief work like affirmation all
day which didn't work, becauseit was just fake to me, it
doesn't stick, it wasn't reallyreprogramming me for the new
things that I wanted to do.
So I would write the beliefsand, very simply, I write my old
story.
Okay, what was the story?
Based on what I just felt.
(21:14):
Then I would recognize it.
It was like I'm too afraid to dothis because I don't feel like
I'm capable enough.
For example, that could be onethat showed up for me many times
.
That was the old and then thenew story is me meditating on is
really true, so challenging.
That, right, let me think backof the other opportunities in my
life where I felt the same.
(21:35):
But look, I've done it.
So I would just connect it tomy experience again and then I
will come up with a betteraffirmation, like, even though I
was scared before, I still wasable to come through the other
end and learn something and getwhat I wanted.
So that would be my new story.
So that's what I've learnedalso to do the story part Old
story, new story, old story, newstory.
(21:56):
And the more you do that part,the more you start to see that
your old story is really, it'sreally stupid.
It's just fear because it fallsoff.
You know, because you're likewhen you read it you're like I
can't believe.
I was just afraid of this.
But I've learned to do this onpaper because on my head I can't
, my head messes with me and Ican't always detach and I can't
(22:17):
tell what is an unhelpful storyand what is a story that I
believe that will inspire me totake action.
So just doing it on paper formy black and white you know
logical brain I guess always hashelped me.
But people got their ownprocesses.
But that's kind of what I havelearned from my experience to be
able to look at the emotionalpiece but also the story piece.
(22:41):
So none of this stuff blocks mefrom the evolution and from the
where I would like to go.
Daniela SM (22:46):
Thank you for sharing that.
So do you learn this all byyourself, reading, or with help
or professionals, or how?
Elona Lopari (22:53):
Oh, no, I mean I've invested so much in
programs, you know, courses andtrainings.
I'm always learning somethingnew every day podcasts, right.
I surround myself.
I pretty much have become verygood at picking up the next clue
and clarifying what else do Ineed?
And then I find the resourcesand the people that I align
myself with until I learn it,and then I move on and continue
(23:15):
to do the same process.
So that's kind of how I make mydecisions, whether.
Who do I am I seeking now?
What kind of support am Ilooking for?
Can I learn on my own?
Is there someone else that cansupport me?
And I've always been a bigbeliever in leveraging other
people's experiences, because ifsomeone again understands that
has an easy process.
They've helped so many people.
(23:36):
Why would I waste my time andnot get that result?
Because I'm worth it.
I'm the most important assetthat I ever have, because I'm
the one making all the decisionsfor my business, for my family,
for my personal life, for mykids.
You know, always working onthat, the investment piece and
looking, tying that to more ofmy time back for myself, because
we always get taught to makemore money.
(23:57):
Nobody teaches us to buy backour time, because our time will
never come back.
I just have learned through myexperience to value time, and
that's why I always connect withpeople that have already
streamlined processes, havealready the things that I want.
I am very happily going to beable to invest for the results
that I'm looking to achieve.
So it's been a combination ofall.
(24:19):
I've done it all depending onwhatever phase and stage I'm in.
I clarify what I'm focusing on,then I go seek out the people
and the resources, and then alsoinner work too.
That's important.
I clarify stuff on my own andthen, once I have clarity, then
I go seek out things from on theoutside.
Daniela SM (24:36):
Yeah, wonderful.
And as a mom, obviously youhave grown, and so the early mom
to the mom now you change a lot.
How do you communicate withthem?
Elona Lopari (24:53):
Yeah, I love that question.
I grew up with my kids I wouldsay that I didn't believe in.
I was the parent and all ofthat.
Obviously, I do be responsibleand all the things that I felt
like I needed to do because Iwas a parent.
That grows you up very fast,but over the years I've learned
to adapt and I've learned to seemy kids as those humans that
could support me in my growthand I'm there for them and
because I always didn't well, Ididn't always have a safe,
(25:14):
emotional home for some reason.
That was always the purposebehind what I thought I should
do as a parent just to create asafe space and environment for
them to emotionally connect withus and also ensure that they're
independent.
And I didn't do things for thembecause of my own anxiety and
my own needs that I didn't healso that they can learn who they
(25:35):
are and continue to go on theirown journey.
But all the phases are different.
Now I'm in, my oldest is almostin the adult phase, so I've
already transitioned myparenting from what I used to do
that was more like boundarysetting to she already.
Now, can you know, going aroundshe makes her own decisions
almost.
So at every phase and stagethere's been growth, there's
(25:57):
been grief for what was leftbehind, because when they're
babies I miss, you miss thatstage.
When they go into the preteenand teenager it's different type
of parenting that is needed.
I always say I got promoted to aconsultant when they became
older because it's no longer.
They didn't need me anymore.
It was their friends, they hadtheir own opinion, social media.
(26:18):
Obviously our kids are very,very wise souls.
I, I gotta say I am so proud ofthis new generation Because the
things that my kids could tellme now I was not able to do so
when I was their age.
I don't know if it's the breedor I don't know if it's the
technology or they're, like,packed with great intuition and
I have learned to honor that andleverage that and help them see
(26:41):
that within themselves and putboundaries that I thought were
necessary so they could be safewhile exploring.
Other than that, that's kind ofbeen my parenting style.
Daniela SM (26:51):
It's so interesting.
What you're saying aboutgrowing with the kids is exactly
the way I think I didn't usethe word as a consultant but the
grieving.
That is true especially.
You know we have the Googlehome, that it shows the pictures
, and I'm always like, oh youknow, always missing that time
because it was beautiful.
But of course I know that Iwanted to go back, I just miss
(27:12):
it because it was beautiful.
But it is a new time.
It is true.
We evolve, be different parentsand we have to evolve and grow
and adapt to them, which is hardbecause there's a lot of
changes happening quite fast,faster than anything a job, your
age, getting older, anythingand so you have to adapt really
quickly.
Elona Lopari (27:30):
Daniela, the one thing that's helped me is my own
self-awareness, because themore self-aware you are, the
more you could pick up thetransition happening in front of
you and they're no longer partof you.
When you can detach, it's justthe healthiest thing, because
then you could see it's like amovie, like a story we're
storytelling today.
It's like a movie happening infront of you and I can already
(27:50):
pick up intuitively all thephases.
And then I could go back andreadjust ask myself who do I
want to be now as a parent?
Who do they need me to be?
What is this phase going to?
You know, require and thenalign my values and my vision
and mission for the parenting orwhere we're going as a family.
But I think I treat it like abusiness.
It's all the same thing becauseall these areas really are the
(28:12):
same at the end, because whenyou have that, you understand
how to do it on your own.
Uh, you are again the, thebiggest dot that connects
everything else around you.
Right, you are the center ofyour own universe.
So I've learned that it'shelped me with everything, not
just parenting.
I understand what you're saying.
A lot of parents don't grow.
I mean, I've seen my own right.
I mean my mom still treats melike I'm five and I always hated
(28:36):
it.
I'm like don't you trust me?
Not like I've done well formyself.
I think I can make a smalldecision like, hey, can you just
do this?
But you know it's out of loveand I think the prior generation
has not made these transitionsin their parenting.
But now that you see it,obviously we're trying to always
stop whatever hasn't worked.
You know, embrace the new andbut you know that's innovation
(28:58):
also.
Innovation could be in business.
Innovation could be in business.
Innovation could be inparenting.
Innovation could mean yourpersonal growth.
Right, it's always marriage ofthe old and the new.
I've realized.
Daniela SM (29:06):
Another thing that happens is that, you know, we
immigrants and sometimes whenour parents are much older and
they immigrate, they actuallybring everything that they
remember and they want to be inthat, like kind of in that place
, locked with their ideas of howthings should be.
A friend of mine who wastelling me that that her family
is Tamil, from Sri Lanka Parentscame here and then they brought
(29:28):
all these traditions and rulesand then you go to the country
and it has evolved, but theyhave it here because they
thought, well, this is the wayit should be.
So it was quite interestingbecause I was like, oh yeah, I
didn't notice that that couldhappen, and it's, of course,
because you're isolated, soyou're thinking, okay, this is
how it used to be 20 years agoand I'm going to change.
Elona Lopari (29:50):
That is so true, I've seen that with my community
because I now help a lot ofAlbanians, because to me it's
obviously the way I give back.
But that's what happens.
I think in a new countrythere's so much stuff that they
don't know and they go intotheir bubble.
It's so easy to stay with yourown people and so easy to just
kind of stay in your own smallworld because you haven't, you
(30:11):
don't want to challenge yourselfto grow into the new culture.
Go, do new things, meet newpeople, do all the things that
are necessary for growth.
So I have found that my parentgeneration have kind of stayed
very small.
The world has become very smalland they have become very
dependent on their children,their families and all of that.
And now you feel therepercussion of that because
(30:31):
they go and they get older andthey don't have any other thing
in their lives besides theirchildren, because they haven't
really done that part.
But honestly, I've learned thatit's lack of education.
They didn't have access to whatwe know today.
Education is powerful becausenow you know there's more out
there and all this access tothings.
So that's why I say we'reblessed to be able to live in
(30:53):
this world where we have accessto the global world and we could
see how maybe Daniela is livingor what's happening over there,
right, and how do I manage someof my stuff.
Daniela SM (31:03):
I don't think they have that option and that's what
I feel the saddest for yes, Ithink it also goes back to
personality, how people seethings and how they want to be.
Some people are comfortable andthey are content with what they
have, and other people, likeyou and I, we want always more,
and sometimes it worries me thatwhen is going to be enough more
(31:23):
?
You know you always want more,and so it's exhausting.
Elona Lopari (31:27):
We got to check the more because if it comes
from a bad place, like I learned, there's never enough, never
enough.
There's nothing you can do.
You're never enough yourself.
That's where it actually comesfrom.
So we got to do the checksAbsolutely Everybody.
Well, I'm a spiritual,spiritual person.
I believe everybody has aunique journey.
We sometimes choose the thingswe go through.
(31:49):
I believe in past lives and allof that.
So everything is veryintentional.
Maybe we have chosen peoplehave chosen to be that right so
they can grow through that intheir journey.
Everybody's unique, everybody'sauthentic.
They're on their own lane andthat's why I believe in just
learning, supporting, helping,unconditional love for everyone
(32:10):
ourselves first.
I think that's all we need ashumans, just connection and love
.
At the end of the day.
Daniela SM (32:14):
That's why we do all the craziness yes, I'm reading
a book that they say that weshould treat humans like they
are new countries that we havenever explored before, because
we are so different.
I love that and I was like, oh,that's so true, and I love
traveling.
So there you go and I want toask you so you come from logic
to emotions what about the otherway around?
(32:35):
Is it harder?
I always have been moreemotional.
I have always worked throughintuition and things have worked
really well for me.
But I suffer a lot becausehaving emotions and so I thought
I would be a happier person ifI didn't have them.
So what do you think Actually?
Elona Lopari (32:50):
the story my sister is like you and she's
very emotionally attuned topeople and she's very
emotionally intelligent andemotionally intuitive.
So that means that, like you,she gets overwhelmed with other
people's emotions.
So the story always been wemake fun of it.
I'm in a joking way that she'slike if I could just have
something in your brain that Icould just detach myself from
all of this stuff.
And on my end I'm like if Icould just have your freaking
(33:12):
emotional, beautiful skillsbecause you can relate and
connect with anyone,relationship wise.
The story of what I've learnedwith my experience my sister,
because she's like, veryconnected to me, we do a lot of
growth together.
She's like the I'm the yin andthe two.
You know she's the yang rightand that's another beautiful
relationship.
I've learned that as humans, wealways want what we don't have
(33:33):
right, because we always thinkthe grass is always greener on
the other side.
That's just a natural humanthing.
What I've learned is that wecan develop all of these If I
could learn the language ofemotions that once upon a time
was like I just can't do this.
You should talk to my sister.
She's like I'm like girl, Idon't know how you do it.
Good for you.
You're born with this.
(33:54):
I have nothing to do with it.
I just don't get it.
It was like theory to me, liketheory.
I just don't get it.
It was like theory to me, liketheory.
It was just theory.
I couldn't.
I didn't understand how toexperience it.
Having said that, everybody canbalance both because we have
both as humans.
We have the left and the rightbrain.
That's why we all you know areborn with both.
We both have masculine energyand feminine.
(34:16):
The thing is developing it,that's all.
So if your intention is todevelop some of the logical part
, it's not going to come natural, obviously, because you're more
natural here.
But through the training andthe right things that are
necessary, you're definitelyable to be more focused, be more
processed.
Next steps, which is usuallymore of the left brain.
(34:37):
Absolutely, you can learnanything and as humans, that's
why we're so powerful, becausewe're all equipped with all this
inside of us.
We become so gifted, but nobodyever told us that we tap into
all of these things and havethis information.
We can develop anything, anyskill, any talent, if we
obviously put ourselves throughthe process to be able to do it.
(34:58):
And what I've learned is moreimportant if it's important
enough for us.
Otherwise, if the why is notthere, it's just not worth it.
The why was there for me?
Because I'm in business andunless I learn how to have
really fulfilling and happyrelationships, I wasn't going to
be a very happy businesswoman.
Because I didn't always likethe being a miserable military
style, results focused andoriented person, because I
(35:21):
always crave the humanconnection.
My reason, my big purpose wasthere.
My reason why is strong.
So I put myself through theprocess to do it because it was
important.
Daniela SM (35:32):
It is beautiful that you have such a good
relationship with your sister.
What about her?
Did she needed to learn logicin the part, or it is not
necessary for her?
I love that question.
Elona Lopari (35:44):
It is because she went through an external
circumstance of a divorce andthat helped her tap into pretty
much the logical side and moreof the masculine energy when she
had to pick up the pieces, puther life together, get a home,
provide for the family she had ason do some of the planning and
the doing, which is more on theleft side, and when we have
(36:05):
these conversations that'sexactly what she's thankful for,
that everything happens for areason because now she can grow
her independence that way,because it's easy for the
emotional side to be dependenton other people, be attached to
other people, but the more ofthe left brain, logical, is
always like I'm on my own, I cando it on my own, I'm free, I'm
independent and you know how todo the right doing to get to the
(36:28):
results.
So she shares the same storytoday, that she was able to do
that and that helped her kind ofbalance some of the feelings.
Daniela SM (36:37):
Well, it's interesting because my husband
is very logic, so I marriedsomebody very logic and I'm very
emotional intelligence.
However, I am a doer.
Elona Lopari (36:45):
We always attract the opposite.
My husband's a feeler, so forthe longest I was taking care of
the home, taking care of thekids, like everybody knew what
was happening.
I was like the, I was themanager.
But you know that comes to atime where you see that you've
done some damage with that,because I could see how you
could spoil the kids and allthat.
And then you build resentment.
(37:06):
You're like why am I the onlyone?
Like always like doing this orthat?
So I think it's healthy tobalance both.
For sure, because we also teachthem how to hold on their own
and so they can tap into theirown.
It's almost like a cycle and wewe don't feed into their
attachment styles which arereally usually not helpful,
(37:26):
because we're all built sodifferent and and the level of
awareness is not like yours andvice versa.
They see stuff that you don'tsee.
So learn to be very honorcomplimentary abilities in
people and just be curious andsay thank you so much for seeing
that.
I didn't see that.
You know why do you think that?
That's how it was so like, openup those conversations and
(37:47):
communication and kind of learnfrom each other without judgment
and shame.
I think at the end of the day,that's kind of what we do to
ourselves.
We judge and shame ourselvesfor not being a certain way.
But maybe that's not the waythat you are.
So let's give ourselves graceand the more you do that, this
becomes easier with others,because we're harder on
ourselves.
The more I've learned how to dothat myself, the more I'm such
(38:09):
a nice person with other peopleand that comes from a good place
.
It's not like I just feel likeI want to be nice, I need to be,
I need to be Anything need tobe.
You should do it.
It's all fear.
I want to be appreciative ofothers because I love when I'm
able to support or create impact.
Yeah, to me.
I just thought of leadershipwhen you asked me that, because
(38:30):
it's so common.
But leadership is everywhere inthe family, right, I mean,
you've got people around you andthat's exactly the thing.
Daniela SM (38:37):
Yeah, we're all leaders in one way or another.
Absolutely, you also have apodcast, I do.
Elona Lopari (38:43):
I do similar things on my podcast that bring
on amazing entrepreneurs thatshare their experiences, whether
it's their personal orprofessional, in the aim to
contribute towards other people,to support one another and to
really heal and share more goodin the world.
So my podcast is called theLife School Masterclass Show,
and the reason I named it thatis because I feel like every
(39:05):
conversation with each human islike its own masterclass.
There's so much we can learnand every day I'm learning there
.
It's like my school.
So, yeah, I go to class witheach person and we have a great
combo like this and it's calledthe life school master class
show yeah, that's a beautifultitle.
Daniela SM (39:22):
I also think that I'm going to university.
These are all courses ofuniversity because it has grown,
especially my compassion andunderstanding of every story is
so interesting, and so I willnever have the experience
listening to yours or otherpeople.
I will learn more andunderstand humans much better.
So I mean, I'm still.
Compassion is a really bigsubject, but it is.
(39:45):
I'm growing it a little moreevery time.
Good, Stay on it.
Elona Lopari (39:47):
It's the really big subject, but I'm growing it
a little more every time.
Good, stay on it.
It's the most important part.
I've gone through a spiritualawakening experience lately and
everything to me, compassion hascome through.
So strong, unconditional loveand compassion.
If you can grow those withinyourself, that's what the world
needs.
Everything else is easy.
I realized those are the twomost important because I've
(40:07):
always been very, very curiousaround.
Okay, remove the details,remove the layers.
What's at the bottom, what's atthe meat, what is at the depth
of everything?
And that was my latestrealization that compassion,
love and compassion, that's itfor humanity, for others, it's
honestly the biggest thing wecould do and that's where
success is at the highest levelson all areas.
Daniela SM (40:29):
And, Ilona, we talk about emotions and logic, but
then you keep mentioningspirituality.
So when did that come to you?
Did you have it hidden or didyou just learn it In my family?
Elona Lopari (40:40):
you know, we believe in a certain religion,
all of that, but it's not likemy parents like really were
religious, like you know,praying, anything like that.
I mean, we were invaded inAlbania so we changed our
religion from Catholic to Muslim.
So that's kind of what I grewup with.
But I always had like a senseLike to me.
I've always had like a sense ofsomething always beyond me.
(41:01):
So I always felt that.
And then through my journey ofgrowth and kind of reaching the
material success, right, Irealized, wait, there's more
Like is that it?
That can't be it, because thisdoesn't feel like there's enough
.
So then I started exploringmore into other areas.
So that's where spiritualitycame about.
I'm like, oh my gosh, likethere's so much into this other
(41:22):
world.
We're so much connected to ahigher source, connected to a
higher source.
And then I started to learnabout neuroscience and I got my
master's in it because I fell inlove with the whole field of
how humans operate, behavior,neuroscience, how the universe
works, how we're all connected.
So I just developed it over theyears and I use a lot of that
(41:45):
in my business world because mymission is to humanize business,
because at the end, business isall about humans, right?
I mean, why do we do themarketing and sales and all
these traditional things?
We do it because we want tohelp other people with the thing
that we have, whether you havea product or service.
So that's kind of how I'vegrown it over the years.
(42:06):
And then I've got intomeditation, I've gone into
healing work and things likethat over the years that I
discovered were really coolthings.
Past life experiences, thingslike that which to me years ago
would be like what is this world?
I don't understand it.
Just through education I'vecome to connect more with it.
Learning, being a student justlike yourself, I pay attention
(42:28):
to areas that I get attracted to?
Daniela SM (42:30):
Yeah, neuroscience is so fascinating, right, I love
that.
Is there anything else that Ican do of service for you?
You want to share?
They can reach out.
Elona Lopari (42:39):
Just you having this conversation and creating
this for other humans, I thinkis very, very beautiful.
I love podcasting because ofits natural flow and people get
to share things from their heartand there's no agenda.
There's nothing like a shitsound this way or that way.
Whatever comes up is the rightthing to say.
Listeners, if they, I guess,enjoyed the conversation, they
walked away with some value heretoday.
(42:59):
Maybe they can go check out mypodcast called the Life School
Masterclass Show, and they canfind it anywhere podcasts are
played, or on my website atelonathepowerycoachingcom yes,
and I want people to also followyou on social media.
Daniela SM (43:11):
You have a instagram and also linkedin, so we'll put
that in the show notes as well.
Anybody who wants to make acomment about where the
takeaways are, what they learn,what they want to hear more from
you, so that would be great.
Thank you so much, elona.
I really appreciate meeting you.
It was just amazing.
Well, thank you, thank you.
Elona Lopari (43:29):
Well, thank you for having me.
Daniela SM (43:30):
It was such a pleasure to have this
conversation.
I hope you enjoyed today'sepisode.
I am Daniela and you arelistening to, because Everyone
has a Story.
Please take five seconds rightnow and think of somebody in
your life that may enjoy whatyou just heard, or someone that
has a story to be shared andpreserved.
When you think of that person,shoot them a text with the link
(43:53):
of this podcast.
This will allow the ordinarymagic to go further.
Join me next time for anotherstory conversation.
Thank you for listening.
Hasta pronto you Thank you.
Hi, I'm Daniela.
Welcome to my podcast, becauseEveryone has a Story, the place
to give ordinary people'sstories the chance to be shared
and preserved.
Our stories become the languageof connections.
Let's enjoy it, connect andrelate, because everyone has a
story.
Welcome.
(00:21):
My guest today is Elona Lopari.
I am so excited to share thisconversation with Elona,
recorded four months ago.
At the time, my husband and Iwere planning a month-long trip
to Albania, her home country.
Now, after experiencingAlbanians' beauty and warmth
firsthand, I am even moreinspired by her remarkable
(00:44):
journey.
Born firsthand, I am even moreinspired by her remarkable
journey from an Albanianimmigrant in New York to a
corporate leader and now the CEOof the Life School.
Elona's mission is to helppurpose-driven leaders building
impactful businesses, and herstory is one of resilience,
self-discovery and connection, areflection of growth, tradition
(01:06):
and living a life of purpose.
Let's enjoy her story.
Welcome, ilona, to the show.
Thank you so much, daniela.
It's a pleasure to be here.
I know I'm really excited.
Also, it's my first guest thatis original from Albania.
Elona Lopari (01:21):
Yes, excited to have a conversation.
Daniela SM (01:24):
Albania is a beautiful country I know, but of
course I know you live in NewYork, right?
Elona Lopari (01:28):
Yes, I'm currently based out of Brooklyn,
New York, for the last 25 years.
Daniela SM (01:33):
All right, perfect.
Tell me why you want to shareyour story, because I've always
learned from other people'sstories.
Elona Lopari (01:39):
I've always seen my own admiration, things I was
overcoming through, you know,reading other people's stories,
listening to their stories.
So I really feel like, ashumans, this is how we've always
have learned and grown andevolved.
So I really feel like maybe myexperience could potentially be
that for somebody else.
Daniela SM (01:59):
Yes, and I agree with that.
I think sometimes it's betterto listen to many stories of
people than actually reading alot of help books.
And when does your story start?
Elona Lopari (02:09):
Well, we could go back, as my origin you know,
all the way to Albania.
So I was born in the capitalTirana, lived in Albania for 15
years, had a pretty goodchildhood over the years, a lot
of social outside games with mylittle community, which I now
kind of like always look backand admire because we're very
creative.
We didn't have a lot ofmaterial things, but we'll be
(02:31):
outside, we'll connect with myfriends and we'd mostly be more
outside than inside the home.
So that was pretty much mychildhood.
And then a civil war happenedin Albania.
It is a small country and itinvaded, you know historically,
many different other countries.
So there was a civil war thatwas happening when I turned 15
and I was in the first year ofhigh school and it was pretty
(02:53):
unsafe A lot of guns everywhere,a lot of killings, a lot of
safety like that.
So my dad actually applied foran American visa.
He didn't know, obviously, thathe was going to get it, but he
just had this intuition thatokay.
So everybody, you know, waslooking to leave the country and
he always was attracted towardsthe US because I guess what he
(03:15):
had heard the brand name, theopportunities, the fact that
it's the land of the Americandream and all of that.
So he applied, he won and wewere able to move here.
So I moved to the US,specifically still Brooklyn.
I haven't moved from the sameborough that I landed here as
with my immigrant parents.
I guess the fun and thechallenges started because I had
(03:37):
to grow up very fast.
I was the oldest, I had mysiblings which were younger.
I also knew the language.
I had a course that I attendedin Albania so I knew some sort
of English.
So I was really right awayadapting, incorporating, to help
my parents because they didn'tspeak the English language, they
didn't know anything or anyone.
Those first beginnings ofgetting their first job just try
(04:00):
to survive, obviously, not evenworry about thriving.
So that's what I did.
I grew up very fast.
I got my first couple of jobs.
The American dream wasinstilled in me very early.
My dad especially.
He's like we came here, you gotto go to college, get a good
degree, get married, build afamily, build your career, be
successful.
Those are all things that Ikind of the blueprint I have to
(04:22):
follow and I did do that.
I got my bachelor's businessmanagement finance degree and
then I climbed the corporateladder for a fortune 500 company
which happened to be in growthmode.
Daniela SM (04:31):
It's been really difficult to grow internally,
like where you're always verymature and it wasn't too
shocking to be like, okay, now Ihave to be so responsible.
Elona Lopari (04:40):
I always had a strong sense of what I want,
even as a child.
I always had a strong sense ofwhat I want, even as a child.
That's why I was disciplinedvery much for my being
mischievous, like I had astubborn head.
I was always determined.
That's always something that Ihave as a character.
When it came up to me kind ofstepping it up here, I just
(05:03):
honestly didn't feel like I hadto think twice about it because
I'm like I can do it, I can help.
You know, I know the language.
I guess I was always wiser thanyou know the years that I had
and the responsibility reallyshaped me early on as well,
because I just missed a lot ofmy teenage years, which
obviously later on I regret someof that experience that I
didn't have, but everythingworks out.
(05:24):
But I think, yeah, I was alwaysthe wise soul, the responsible
person.
Maybe being a first siblingalso does that, because I can
sit down with my kids and mylittle one, which is my boy, is
more laid back and for me thatwas my experience.
Daniela SM (05:40):
And so you had siblings.
How many siblings you had.
I have two other siblings, andthey were also behaviors as you.
The same many siblings you had?
I have two other siblings andthey were also behaviors as you.
The same personality as you?
No, actually very different.
Elona Lopari (05:51):
That was the fun part.
My sister, which is the smallerbaby, she's always been more
creative, more like kind of justyou know, free soul, always
following her thing.
And my also, my, my brother.
It's also pretty similarpersonality to her, more in the
feeling side, and to her, moreon the feeling side, and I'm
more always on the logical side.
We all have very differentpersonalities.
To them, yeah, they didn'tlisten to that American dream.
(06:14):
They always followed their gutfine, even some things that our
parents obviously wanted forthem.
And you know, having the fearof being judged like why don't
you have some stability withyour job, for example, for my
brother or, you know, my sister,she had some of her own
challenges, but now that Iobviously understand people
better, I think it's definitelypart of their journey and their
(06:36):
own personality and characters.
Daniela SM (06:38):
They were just honoring that.
Yes, I think it's all aboutpersonality and how you candle
life and see life right.
So then what happened?
You went to college and then,so I went to college, got my
bachelor's degree.
Elona Lopari (06:51):
Even that I was a super achiever.
I got it in three years.
It was a bachelor's, whichusually takes four, so I'm like
I'm going to plan it out tookclasses, all of that.
I guess I always like goals.
I think that's another thingthat always follows me.
I like to pursue something.
I like to have something thatwakes me up in the morning, gets
(07:14):
me excited.
I just get bored very fast.
So that was one of my firstgoals and I got my degree.
And then, once I started workingat the corporation I work for,
I just climbed the ladder.
I was just again goal-oriented.
I was there doing work.
I was always seeingopportunities, being the high
performer, all of that.
I happen to be in a good companybecause obviously you can do
all of that in other places, butit doesn't mean that you get to
(07:36):
have that experience.
I really feel blessed foreverything that happened to me
because through all of thoseopportunities that were handed
to me, I was able to see otherparts of myself and build a lot
of my personal professionalexperience within roles of
leadership, marketing.
I did HR for many years withthem.
So all that variety ofexperience just really formed
(07:58):
the professional side of who Iam and I saw that I have a very
good neck for leadership.
I was always good with people,but I'm very good at
understanding what they need,how to connect them to the main
purpose and how to place peoplewhere they would like to be so
they can thrive, based on theexperiences, their gifts, their
(08:20):
goals and all of that.
That's why HR is also somethingvery important to me, because
it's the people resource ofthings, kind of what I learned
in my corporate experience.
Until the company was acquiredby another company.
I was there for 13 years.
That journey also had an endwhere I felt unfulfilled.
Everybody was seeing like anumber.
It was profit driven.
(08:40):
It completely changed to what Iwas used to.
So it just, I guess I read thesilver lining and I started
looking for something new.
Daniela SM (08:49):
And at the meantime you were, you had a boyfriend
and you were thinking about.
You know, the other part of theAmerican dream.
Elona Lopari (08:57):
Oh, I mean, I was married.
I met my husband, which iswe've together for 20 years, at
17.
Oh wow, mutual friends veryearly.
Yeah, we were engaged for fouryears and then we got married.
Then my first daughter was borna year after, and then my son
two years and a half after.
And then we bought our home,did some other investments, we
(09:21):
traveled, we did some of thethings that we thought were, you
know, the right things to do tobe able to have the dream but
also enjoy life.
Because one thing that I see inmy parents is that they just
didn't enjoy their lives andthey didn't do a lot of the
things that they wanted.
So I think that drove me tomake sure that obviously we'll
work hard, because I'm notafraid of work, I love to work
(09:41):
and challenge myself and myhusband's the same.
It was just a matter of how canwe keep this balanced so that
we still do the things we careabout, grow our base, our family
, our foundational financialsand all of that, but still be
able to enjoy our lives.
23 years, my daughter's 17, myson is 14, still together.
Daniela SM (10:05):
Wonderful, all right .
So you keep having the dream.
You got the family, you got thejob and all the success.
So what else did you wereachieving or was searching for
looking?
Elona Lopari (10:18):
within because I really had a lot of misalignment
from what I had achieved.
On the outside Everybody's like, oh my God, you have everything
you want and all of thesethings, but on the inside I was
not happy and through thehealing process of discovering
(10:39):
what was going on with me, Irealized that a lot of the
achievement was because I wasnot feeling good enough.
So I just always felt like Ineed to chase something so that
you know I can be worthy of love.
And that connected more to alsomy father always praising me
for achieving a lot of like somedeep personal stuff there.
(10:59):
That happened.
That's when I started to startpersonal development and
entrepreneurship and my husbandhe was an entrepreneur before me
, just through a simpleconversation, I was very unhappy
where I was and I'm like dude,I don't want to do another nine
to five.
Another company feels likeboring, like I've been there,
done that, like my journey, Ineed to have something else.
So that's whereentrepreneurship showed up for
(11:19):
me and he's like, very simply,it's like you have so many new
skills and experience, why don'tyou just start your own
business?
And to me that connected.
At that time I said, oh, my eyeslit up because I've always been
independent, so that attractedme.
Oh, I can be independent, I canhave freedom because I was in
the C-suite, so it's a naturalmarket to transition into,
(11:53):
because even that takes thistime to evolve.
I mean, you don't always knowwhere you want to position
yourself, who are the peopleyou're going to help, how you're
going to help, how you standout all these traditional
marketing stuff.
So I took my time withconnecting the dots and then I
went into career coachingbecause I always felt like I
want to help everyday women.
I want to come out of corporate, because when you're in
(12:15):
corporate so long, I wanted tojust explore other things.
That wasn't really asfulfilling still.
So I kept searching and then Ilanded with a business thing,
then leadership, because thoseare always my two strongest
gifts and that's what I do today.
I help people align theirpurpose with profit, much like
myself, so they can do more goodin the world, build a self-led
(12:36):
company that they can pass down,philanthropy, exit whatever
they would like to do.
Daniela SM (12:43):
Wow, but Alona, was it easy?
Like you know, you have a lotof skills and having a business
is not always easy.
So how was the process for you?
Elona Lopari (12:52):
Nothing is easy if it's going to be worth it.
For the first two years, Ithought of quitting every day
and going to safety.
Safety was all I knew, you know, a steady salary and all of
that Because entrepreneurshipwill test you.
Obviously, I had skills andnothing ever was wasted.
I always was able to adapt alot of what I knew with the new
skills I needed to gain.
(13:12):
However, that was a lot ofnewness to business, right?
Because a lot of the digitalways to do business, a lot of
these different things that Ihad to learn, kept me going,
because I've always been acurious child.
So I think the growth that Isaw kept me really excited, so
that the days where I felt likeI'm doing a lot of work and
(13:33):
where's my result Becauseusually that would be my story I
would just lean back and saybut look how much you've
actually learned, and especiallywhen I would meditate, I would
be very connected with.
This is where I'm supposed tobe, always check back.
With that, a lot of thechallenges were easier to
overcome a lot of fear, a lot ofimposter.
(13:53):
Who am I to do what I do?
Who am I to dream big?
Who am I to have this bigvision?
What is the success going to doto me?
Are the people around me goingto still love me?
Are they going to love me forwho I am?
Are they going to love me formy money?
A lot of stuff came up.
All of that, again, was justtriggers that I needed to learn
and heal from so that I could bewhere I am now.
Daniela SM (14:17):
Yes, when you meditate that you said, oh, what
have I achieved?
And then you're like, okay,let's see what I have done, all
that I have learned.
And you know, sometimes I thinklike that too is true.
I don't have titles, but I havelearned so many things, going
from different industries andlearning so many interesting
things for myself, that I thinkI'm really rich.
It's just that it's notsomething that society counts,
(14:41):
and so you always, you know,start getting confused with what
the real values are.
Elona Lopari (14:46):
Yeah, Daniela, something I learned over the
years is to tap into my innerintuition.
And now, obviously, when I ask,I get really good answers.
But before it was veryconfusing it would.
I would just lean into a lot offear and I couldn't really hear
myself.
So I think that's been myguiding star, now that I know
how to do it and I work througha lot of the emotional processes
(15:06):
that need to happen.
But yeah, I think there's alwaysgoing to be a misalignment
between what you feel, howyou're transforming yourself,
and what other people see on theoutside.
Because you'd always get asked.
I would get asked from myhusband, like what are you
working on?
Like I couldn't always, likeyou know, tell, because if
you're not at that level or ifyou're not matching people are
(15:28):
not matching the communityaround you or where you are, and
they don't really understand.
Which is why I've learnedcommunity is very important in
entrepreneurship, just likeanything really.
But I mean, it's a lonelyjourney.
Not everybody understands youremotional roller coasters
because you go through so muchof that.
It's just the journey, it'snothing to do about it.
You just have to learn how tobuild resilience.
(15:49):
But yeah, it feels lonelybecause a lot of the results
you're working for are going tomanifest, I don't know three,
six months down the line.
So you're always working prettymuch in the future, backwards.
But now obviously you learn theprocesses and experience helps a
lot.
Right, because we don't haveexperience, everything is like
weird and new and you don't knowif you're going in the right
direction.
You don't know if you'rewasting your time.
(16:10):
You don't know if you'reobviously you're taking away
funds and money from your familyor other things that are
necessary to grow something.
Over time.
Experience teaches you a lotand that's why my company is
called the Life School, becauseI love experience.
The more experience you have,the more you can add value
towards other people.
And with experience you learnto calm down because everything
(16:31):
is a predictable process,because I've always been a very
process oriented person.
So I'm like, okay, there's aprocess and now I can do it for
other people easier.
But you know, with businessthere's a process to growing it.
I think once you learn that,then it kind of gives you a lot
of safety and security and belike okay, well, I'm never going
to go back to an old version ofme, I'm always going to evolve.
(16:52):
So what are the chances that Iwill lose.
I'm not.
I'm just going to learn or I'mgoing to get what I want.
Only two options, so just keepat it.
Daniela SM (17:03):
Yes, that sounds great.
And, ilona, you said at thebeginning that you were a very
logical person and lessemotional.
However, now you said that youhave learned a lot to follow
your intuition.
Is that any challenging for you?
Elona Lopari (17:16):
Very, challenging Language of feelings, the
language of intuition, thelanguage of spirituality was
almost like a whole otherlanguage for me, because I was
so into the left brain as apersonality and also, obviously,
13 years.
When you work in corporatestructures, you tend to be very
much in the doing, programmed todo, do, do, do, do.
(17:38):
And now when you come out onthe other side, I didn't know
how to be, because when I wouldbe, I would feel like I'm
supposed to be doing something.
There was a lot of inner workto get awareness around and
figure out my own processes thatworked for me, but it was
almost like I went on the otherend, a 360 degree of
(18:00):
transformation.
And now I feel very comfortablein this and now I can go back
and forth, which is beautiful.
So when I need that, I mean youalso need the doing.
You know, I mean I get, needthe doing, I get my intuition,
but I have to execute it rightBecause otherwise it just stays
in my mind.
So all of it is needed.
However, now obviously I couldsay that I'm very much more
(18:22):
harmonized in my emotions.
They call it feminine energy ormasculine energy in some of the
concepts, but just kind ofbeing more in that flow, I feel.
That's where I am now.
Daniela SM (18:33):
And what is the difference between being and
having a lot of emotions thatsometimes don't are not that
positive.
Elona Lopari (18:40):
Yeah, I've learned two processes.
I'm glad you asked me thatbecause for the longest I had to
always figure out there's gotto be a process, because when I
get I don't understand what'shappening.
I get overwhelmed and I shutmyself down.
That was my coping mechanism.
I would avoid things, I woulddetach.
But we all know that well.
I realized that that wasn't agood technique because
everything kept showing up inother ways.
(19:02):
So I'm like, okay, shoot, thisdoesn't work.
So I've learned two processeswith that.
The first one is whenuncomfortable feelings come,
which they will come.
I mean, I usually don't want totalk about positive feelings,
because we all love the positivefeelings, like nobody cares
about getting rid of those.
But it's the negative feelings,the fear, the anxiety, the
uncertainty, the knot in thestomach, you know the all of
(19:25):
these negative emotions, whichare low level emotions.
When they come, I've learned toembrace them.
I've learned to just be my ownbest friend, have empathy for
myself the same way I would doit for other people.
I've learned to give that to myown self, where, if there's a
big emotion that I can't reallyunderstand why, I just stay
curious and I say it's okay tohave this emotion, right, it's
(19:48):
okay that you feel afraid totake that next step or make that
decision.
It is a scary decision.
So I would just go through itand, honestly, what I've learned
emotions like waves in thisocean, it's like takes like five
seconds and it just left me.
So I realized that, wait, thisis not that hard, because I
would think like I would die,like I can't handle a negative
(20:10):
emotion.
So I've realized the process isso seamless.
So then, the more I did it, themore I kind of just loved the
process, because I'm like oh,there's an uncomfortable emotion
, let me kind of sit with it andfeel it in my body, in my heart
, wherever it showed up.
I mean, for me, sometimesanxiety shows up in the gut, but
people have different reactionsto the body, obviously, so you
(20:32):
just learn your own.
And then I do that process.
First I go through feeling ofthe emotions, validating them,
and then calming myself down andgrounding myself with that
emotional piece.
The next piece I do is journalmy beliefs, the story that was
coming up for me, because you'vegot to do both, otherwise, if
we don't tackle the brain, theemotion is going to keep coming
back, and that's what I wasmissing in my process.
(20:54):
I'm like I would just do thebelief work like affirmation all
day which didn't work, becauseit was just fake to me, it
doesn't stick, it wasn't reallyreprogramming me for the new
things that I wanted to do.
So I would write the beliefsand, very simply, I write my old
story.
Okay, what was the story?
Based on what I just felt.
(21:14):
Then I would recognize it.
It was like I'm too afraid to dothis because I don't feel like
I'm capable enough.
For example, that could be onethat showed up for me many times
.
That was the old and then thenew story is me meditating on is
really true, so challenging.
That, right, let me think backof the other opportunities in my
life where I felt the same.
(21:35):
But look, I've done it.
So I would just connect it tomy experience again and then I
will come up with a betteraffirmation, like, even though I
was scared before, I still wasable to come through the other
end and learn something and getwhat I wanted.
So that would be my new story.
So that's what I've learnedalso to do the story part Old
story, new story, old story, newstory.
(21:56):
And the more you do that part,the more you start to see that
your old story is really, it'sreally stupid.
It's just fear because it fallsoff.
You know, because you're likewhen you read it you're like I
can't believe.
I was just afraid of this.
But I've learned to do this onpaper because on my head I can't
, my head messes with me and Ican't always detach and I can't
(22:17):
tell what is an unhelpful storyand what is a story that I
believe that will inspire me totake action.
So just doing it on paper formy black and white you know
logical brain I guess always hashelped me.
But people got their ownprocesses.
But that's kind of what I havelearned from my experience to be
able to look at the emotionalpiece but also the story piece.
(22:41):
So none of this stuff blocks mefrom the evolution and from the
where I would like to go.
Daniela SM (22:46):
Thank you for sharing that.
So do you learn this all byyourself, reading, or with help
or professionals, or how?
Elona Lopari (22:53):
Oh, no, I mean I've invested so much in
programs, you know, courses andtrainings.
I'm always learning somethingnew every day podcasts, right.
I surround myself.
I pretty much have become verygood at picking up the next clue
and clarifying what else do Ineed?
And then I find the resourcesand the people that I align
myself with until I learn it,and then I move on and continue
(23:15):
to do the same process.
So that's kind of how I make mydecisions, whether.
Who do I am I seeking now?
What kind of support am Ilooking for?
Can I learn on my own?
Is there someone else that cansupport me?
And I've always been a bigbeliever in leveraging other
people's experiences, because ifsomeone again understands that
has an easy process.
They've helped so many people.
(23:36):
Why would I waste my time andnot get that result?
Because I'm worth it.
I'm the most important assetthat I ever have, because I'm
the one making all the decisionsfor my business, for my family,
for my personal life, for mykids.
You know, always working onthat, the investment piece and
looking, tying that to more ofmy time back for myself, because
we always get taught to makemore money.
(23:57):
Nobody teaches us to buy backour time, because our time will
never come back.
I just have learned through myexperience to value time, and
that's why I always connect withpeople that have already
streamlined processes, havealready the things that I want.
I am very happily going to beable to invest for the results
that I'm looking to achieve.
So it's been a combination ofall.
(24:19):
I've done it all depending onwhatever phase and stage I'm in.
I clarify what I'm focusing on,then I go seek out the people
and the resources, and then alsoinner work too.
That's important.
I clarify stuff on my own andthen, once I have clarity, then
I go seek out things from on theoutside.
Daniela SM (24:36):
Yeah, wonderful.
And as a mom, obviously youhave grown, and so the early mom
to the mom now you change a lot.
How do you communicate withthem?
Elona Lopari (24:53):
Yeah, I love that question.
I grew up with my kids I wouldsay that I didn't believe in.
I was the parent and all ofthat.
Obviously, I do be responsibleand all the things that I felt
like I needed to do because Iwas a parent.
That grows you up very fast,but over the years I've learned
to adapt and I've learned to seemy kids as those humans that
could support me in my growthand I'm there for them and
because I always didn't well, Ididn't always have a safe,
(25:14):
emotional home for some reason.
That was always the purposebehind what I thought I should
do as a parent just to create asafe space and environment for
them to emotionally connect withus and also ensure that they're
independent.
And I didn't do things for thembecause of my own anxiety and
my own needs that I didn't healso that they can learn who they
(25:35):
are and continue to go on theirown journey.
But all the phases are different.
Now I'm in, my oldest is almostin the adult phase, so I've
already transitioned myparenting from what I used to do
that was more like boundarysetting to she already.
Now, can you know, going aroundshe makes her own decisions
almost.
So at every phase and stagethere's been growth, there's
(25:57):
been grief for what was leftbehind, because when they're
babies I miss, you miss thatstage.
When they go into the preteenand teenager it's different type
of parenting that is needed.
I always say I got promoted to aconsultant when they became
older because it's no longer.
They didn't need me anymore.
It was their friends, they hadtheir own opinion, social media.
(26:18):
Obviously our kids are very,very wise souls.
I, I gotta say I am so proud ofthis new generation Because the
things that my kids could tellme now I was not able to do so
when I was their age.
I don't know if it's the breedor I don't know if it's the
technology or they're, like,packed with great intuition and
I have learned to honor that andleverage that and help them see
(26:41):
that within themselves and putboundaries that I thought were
necessary so they could be safewhile exploring.
Other than that, that's kind ofbeen my parenting style.
Daniela SM (26:51):
It's so interesting.
What you're saying aboutgrowing with the kids is exactly
the way I think I didn't usethe word as a consultant but the
grieving.
That is true especially.
You know we have the Googlehome, that it shows the pictures
, and I'm always like, oh youknow, always missing that time
because it was beautiful.
But of course I know that Iwanted to go back, I just miss
(27:12):
it because it was beautiful.
But it is a new time.
It is true.
We evolve, be different parentsand we have to evolve and grow
and adapt to them, which is hardbecause there's a lot of
changes happening quite fast,faster than anything a job, your
age, getting older, anythingand so you have to adapt really
quickly.
Elona Lopari (27:30):
Daniela, the one thing that's helped me is my own
self-awareness, because themore self-aware you are, the
more you could pick up thetransition happening in front of
you and they're no longer partof you.
When you can detach, it's justthe healthiest thing, because
then you could see it's like amovie, like a story we're
storytelling today.
It's like a movie happening infront of you and I can already
(27:50):
pick up intuitively all thephases.
And then I could go back andreadjust ask myself who do I
want to be now as a parent?
Who do they need me to be?
What is this phase going to?
You know, require and thenalign my values and my vision
and mission for the parenting orwhere we're going as a family.
But I think I treat it like abusiness.
It's all the same thing becauseall these areas really are the
(28:12):
same at the end, because whenyou have that, you understand
how to do it on your own.
Uh, you are again the, thebiggest dot that connects
everything else around you.
Right, you are the center ofyour own universe.
So I've learned that it'shelped me with everything, not
just parenting.
I understand what you're saying.
A lot of parents don't grow.
I mean, I've seen my own right.
I mean my mom still treats melike I'm five and I always hated
(28:36):
it.
I'm like don't you trust me?
Not like I've done well formyself.
I think I can make a smalldecision like, hey, can you just
do this?
But you know it's out of loveand I think the prior generation
has not made these transitionsin their parenting.
But now that you see it,obviously we're trying to always
stop whatever hasn't worked.
You know, embrace the new andbut you know that's innovation
(28:58):
also.
Innovation could be in business.
Innovation could be in business.
Innovation could be inparenting.
Innovation could mean yourpersonal growth.
Right, it's always marriage ofthe old and the new.
I've realized.
Daniela SM (29:06):
Another thing that happens is that, you know, we
immigrants and sometimes whenour parents are much older and
they immigrate, they actuallybring everything that they
remember and they want to be inthat, like kind of in that place
, locked with their ideas of howthings should be.
A friend of mine who wastelling me that that her family
is Tamil, from Sri Lanka Parentscame here and then they brought
(29:28):
all these traditions and rulesand then you go to the country
and it has evolved, but theyhave it here because they
thought, well, this is the wayit should be.
So it was quite interestingbecause I was like, oh yeah, I
didn't notice that that couldhappen, and it's, of course,
because you're isolated, soyou're thinking, okay, this is
how it used to be 20 years agoand I'm going to change.
Elona Lopari (29:50):
That is so true, I've seen that with my community
because I now help a lot ofAlbanians, because to me it's
obviously the way I give back.
But that's what happens.
I think in a new countrythere's so much stuff that they
don't know and they go intotheir bubble.
It's so easy to stay with yourown people and so easy to just
kind of stay in your own smallworld because you haven't, you
(30:11):
don't want to challenge yourselfto grow into the new culture.
Go, do new things, meet newpeople, do all the things that
are necessary for growth.
So I have found that my parentgeneration have kind of stayed
very small.
The world has become very smalland they have become very
dependent on their children,their families and all of that.
And now you feel therepercussion of that because
(30:31):
they go and they get older andthey don't have any other thing
in their lives besides theirchildren, because they haven't
really done that part.
But honestly, I've learned thatit's lack of education.
They didn't have access to whatwe know today.
Education is powerful becausenow you know there's more out
there and all this access tothings.
So that's why I say we'reblessed to be able to live in
(30:53):
this world where we have accessto the global world and we could
see how maybe Daniela is livingor what's happening over there,
right, and how do I manage someof my stuff.
Daniela SM (31:03):
I don't think they have that option and that's what
I feel the saddest for yes, Ithink it also goes back to
personality, how people seethings and how they want to be.
Some people are comfortable andthey are content with what they
have, and other people, likeyou and I, we want always more,
and sometimes it worries me thatwhen is going to be enough more
(31:23):
?
You know you always want more,and so it's exhausting.
Elona Lopari (31:27):
We got to check the more because if it comes
from a bad place, like I learned, there's never enough, never
enough.
There's nothing you can do.
You're never enough yourself.
That's where it actually comesfrom.
So we got to do the checksAbsolutely Everybody.
Well, I'm a spiritual,spiritual person.
I believe everybody has aunique journey.
We sometimes choose the thingswe go through.
(31:49):
I believe in past lives and allof that.
So everything is veryintentional.
Maybe we have chosen peoplehave chosen to be that right so
they can grow through that intheir journey.
Everybody's unique, everybody'sauthentic.
They're on their own lane andthat's why I believe in just
learning, supporting, helping,unconditional love for everyone
(32:10):
ourselves first.
I think that's all we need ashumans, just connection and love
.
At the end of the day.
Daniela SM (32:14):
That's why we do all the craziness yes, I'm reading
a book that they say that weshould treat humans like they
are new countries that we havenever explored before, because
we are so different.
I love that and I was like, oh,that's so true, and I love
traveling.
So there you go and I want toask you so you come from logic
to emotions what about the otherway around?
(32:35):
Is it harder?
I always have been moreemotional.
I have always worked throughintuition and things have worked
really well for me.
But I suffer a lot becausehaving emotions and so I thought
I would be a happier person ifI didn't have them.
So what do you think Actually?
Elona Lopari (32:50):
the story my sister is like you and she's
very emotionally attuned topeople and she's very
emotionally intelligent andemotionally intuitive.
So that means that, like you,she gets overwhelmed with other
people's emotions.
So the story always been wemake fun of it.
I'm in a joking way that she'slike if I could just have
something in your brain that Icould just detach myself from
all of this stuff.
And on my end I'm like if Icould just have your freaking
(33:12):
emotional, beautiful skillsbecause you can relate and
connect with anyone,relationship wise.
The story of what I've learnedwith my experience my sister,
because she's like, veryconnected to me, we do a lot of
growth together.
She's like the I'm the yin andthe two.
You know she's the yang rightand that's another beautiful
relationship.
I've learned that as humans, wealways want what we don't have
(33:33):
right, because we always thinkthe grass is always greener on
the other side.
That's just a natural humanthing.
What I've learned is that wecan develop all of these If I
could learn the language ofemotions that once upon a time
was like I just can't do this.
You should talk to my sister.
She's like I'm like girl, Idon't know how you do it.
Good for you.
You're born with this.
(33:54):
I have nothing to do with it.
I just don't get it.
It was like theory to me, liketheory.
I just don't get it.
It was like theory to me, liketheory.
It was just theory.
I couldn't.
I didn't understand how toexperience it.
Having said that, everybody canbalance both because we have
both as humans.
We have the left and the rightbrain.
That's why we all you know areborn with both.
We both have masculine energyand feminine.
(34:16):
The thing is developing it,that's all.
So if your intention is todevelop some of the logical part
, it's not going to come natural, obviously, because you're more
natural here.
But through the training andthe right things that are
necessary, you're definitelyable to be more focused, be more
processed.
Next steps, which is usuallymore of the left brain.
(34:37):
Absolutely, you can learnanything and as humans, that's
why we're so powerful, becausewe're all equipped with all this
inside of us.
We become so gifted, but nobodyever told us that we tap into
all of these things and havethis information.
We can develop anything, anyskill, any talent, if we
obviously put ourselves throughthe process to be able to do it.
(34:58):
And what I've learned is moreimportant if it's important
enough for us.
Otherwise, if the why is notthere, it's just not worth it.
The why was there for me?
Because I'm in business andunless I learn how to have
really fulfilling and happyrelationships, I wasn't going to
be a very happy businesswoman.
Because I didn't always likethe being a miserable military
style, results focused andoriented person, because I
(35:21):
always crave the humanconnection.
My reason, my big purpose wasthere.
My reason why is strong.
So I put myself through theprocess to do it because it was
important.
Daniela SM (35:32):
It is beautiful that you have such a good
relationship with your sister.
What about her?
Did she needed to learn logicin the part, or it is not
necessary for her?
I love that question.
Elona Lopari (35:44):
It is because she went through an external
circumstance of a divorce andthat helped her tap into pretty
much the logical side and moreof the masculine energy when she
had to pick up the pieces, puther life together, get a home,
provide for the family she had ason do some of the planning and
the doing, which is more on theleft side, and when we have
(36:05):
these conversations that'sexactly what she's thankful for,
that everything happens for areason because now she can grow
her independence that way,because it's easy for the
emotional side to be dependenton other people, be attached to
other people, but the more ofthe left brain, logical, is
always like I'm on my own, I cando it on my own, I'm free, I'm
independent and you know how todo the right doing to get to the
(36:28):
results.
So she shares the same storytoday, that she was able to do
that and that helped her kind ofbalance some of the feelings.
Daniela SM (36:37):
Well, it's interesting because my husband
is very logic, so I marriedsomebody very logic and I'm very
emotional intelligence.
However, I am a doer.
Elona Lopari (36:45):
We always attract the opposite.
My husband's a feeler, so forthe longest I was taking care of
the home, taking care of thekids, like everybody knew what
was happening.
I was like the, I was themanager.
But you know that comes to atime where you see that you've
done some damage with that,because I could see how you
could spoil the kids and allthat.
And then you build resentment.
(37:06):
You're like why am I the onlyone?
Like always like doing this orthat?
So I think it's healthy tobalance both.
For sure, because we also teachthem how to hold on their own
and so they can tap into theirown.
It's almost like a cycle and wewe don't feed into their
attachment styles which arereally usually not helpful,
(37:26):
because we're all built sodifferent and and the level of
awareness is not like yours andvice versa.
They see stuff that you don'tsee.
So learn to be very honorcomplimentary abilities in
people and just be curious andsay thank you so much for seeing
that.
I didn't see that.
You know why do you think that?
That's how it was so like, openup those conversations and
(37:47):
communication and kind of learnfrom each other without judgment
and shame.
I think at the end of the day,that's kind of what we do to
ourselves.
We judge and shame ourselvesfor not being a certain way.
But maybe that's not the waythat you are.
So let's give ourselves graceand the more you do that, this
becomes easier with others,because we're harder on
ourselves.
The more I've learned how to dothat myself, the more I'm such
(38:09):
a nice person with other peopleand that comes from a good place
.
It's not like I just feel likeI want to be nice, I need to be,
I need to be Anything need tobe.
You should do it.
It's all fear.
I want to be appreciative ofothers because I love when I'm
able to support or create impact.
Yeah, to me.
I just thought of leadershipwhen you asked me that, because
(38:30):
it's so common.
But leadership is everywhere inthe family, right, I mean,
you've got people around you andthat's exactly the thing.
Daniela SM (38:37):
Yeah, we're all leaders in one way or another.
Absolutely, you also have apodcast, I do.
Elona Lopari (38:43):
I do similar things on my podcast that bring
on amazing entrepreneurs thatshare their experiences, whether
it's their personal orprofessional, in the aim to
contribute towards other people,to support one another and to
really heal and share more goodin the world.
So my podcast is called theLife School Masterclass Show,
and the reason I named it thatis because I feel like every
(39:05):
conversation with each human islike its own masterclass.
There's so much we can learnand every day I'm learning there
.
It's like my school.
So, yeah, I go to class witheach person and we have a great
combo like this and it's calledthe life school master class
show yeah, that's a beautifultitle.
Daniela SM (39:22):
I also think that I'm going to university.
These are all courses ofuniversity because it has grown,
especially my compassion andunderstanding of every story is
so interesting, and so I willnever have the experience
listening to yours or otherpeople.
I will learn more andunderstand humans much better.
So I mean, I'm still.
Compassion is a really bigsubject, but it is.
(39:45):
I'm growing it a little moreevery time.
Good, Stay on it.
Elona Lopari (39:47):
It's the really big subject, but I'm growing it
a little more every time.
Good, stay on it.
It's the most important part.
I've gone through a spiritualawakening experience lately and
everything to me, compassion hascome through.
So strong, unconditional loveand compassion.
If you can grow those withinyourself, that's what the world
needs.
Everything else is easy.
I realized those are the twomost important because I've
(40:07):
always been very, very curiousaround.
Okay, remove the details,remove the layers.
What's at the bottom, what's atthe meat, what is at the depth
of everything?
And that was my latestrealization that compassion,
love and compassion, that's itfor humanity, for others, it's
honestly the biggest thing wecould do and that's where
success is at the highest levelson all areas.
Daniela SM (40:29):
And, Ilona, we talk about emotions and logic, but
then you keep mentioningspirituality.
So when did that come to you?
Did you have it hidden or didyou just learn it In my family?
Elona Lopari (40:40):
you know, we believe in a certain religion,
all of that, but it's not likemy parents like really were
religious, like you know,praying, anything like that.
I mean, we were invaded inAlbania so we changed our
religion from Catholic to Muslim.
So that's kind of what I grewup with.
But I always had like a senseLike to me.
I've always had like a sense ofsomething always beyond me.
(41:01):
So I always felt that.
And then through my journey ofgrowth and kind of reaching the
material success, right, Irealized, wait, there's more
Like is that it?
That can't be it, because thisdoesn't feel like there's enough
.
So then I started exploringmore into other areas.
So that's where spiritualitycame about.
I'm like, oh my gosh, likethere's so much into this other
(41:22):
world.
We're so much connected to ahigher source, connected to a
higher source.
And then I started to learnabout neuroscience and I got my
master's in it because I fell inlove with the whole field of
how humans operate, behavior,neuroscience, how the universe
works, how we're all connected.
So I just developed it over theyears and I use a lot of that
(41:45):
in my business world because mymission is to humanize business,
because at the end, business isall about humans, right?
I mean, why do we do themarketing and sales and all
these traditional things?
We do it because we want tohelp other people with the thing
that we have, whether you havea product or service.
So that's kind of how I'vegrown it over the years.
(42:06):
And then I've got intomeditation, I've gone into
healing work and things likethat over the years that I
discovered were really coolthings.
Past life experiences, thingslike that which to me years ago
would be like what is this world?
I don't understand it.
Just through education I'vecome to connect more with it.
Learning, being a student justlike yourself, I pay attention
(42:28):
to areas that I get attracted to?
Daniela SM (42:30):
Yeah, neuroscience is so fascinating, right, I love
that.
Is there anything else that Ican do of service for you?
You want to share?
They can reach out.
Elona Lopari (42:39):
Just you having this conversation and creating
this for other humans, I thinkis very, very beautiful.
I love podcasting because ofits natural flow and people get
to share things from their heartand there's no agenda.
There's nothing like a shitsound this way or that way.
Whatever comes up is the rightthing to say.
Listeners, if they, I guess,enjoyed the conversation, they
walked away with some value heretoday.
(42:59):
Maybe they can go check out mypodcast called the Life School
Masterclass Show, and they canfind it anywhere podcasts are
played, or on my website atelonathepowerycoachingcom yes,
and I want people to also followyou on social media.
Daniela SM (43:11):
You have a instagram and also linkedin, so we'll put
that in the show notes as well.
Anybody who wants to make acomment about where the
takeaways are, what they learn,what they want to hear more from
you, so that would be great.
Thank you so much, elona.
I really appreciate meeting you.
It was just amazing.
Well, thank you, thank you.
Elona Lopari (43:29):
Well, thank you for having me.
Daniela SM (43:30):
It was such a pleasure to have this
conversation.
I hope you enjoyed today'sepisode.
I am Daniela and you arelistening to, because Everyone
has a Story.
Please take five seconds rightnow and think of somebody in
your life that may enjoy whatyou just heard, or someone that
has a story to be shared andpreserved.
When you think of that person,shoot them a text with the link
(43:53):
of this podcast.
This will allow the ordinarymagic to go further.
Join me next time for anotherstory conversation.
Thank you for listening.
Hasta pronto you Thank you.
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