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August 19, 2025 42 mins

Leadership through mentorship is the heartbeat of this inspiring conversation.

Ben Dias shares how a job he took after high school to support his family—born out of necessity—grew into a fulfilling 30-year career, thanks to the guidance of remarkable mentors.

What brings Ben to the podcast, however, is a single act of kindness: a stranger repairing his broken trailer in twenty minutes, refusing payment beyond the cost of parts. That moment shifted Ben’s entire perspective on generosity, sparking a ripple effect of paying it forward that continues to shape his leadership style.

A powerful theme emerges: the evolution of emotional intelligence in leadership. Ben contrasts the days when yelling and intimidation were mistaken for strength with today’s recognition that “nothing turns somebody away quicker than continuous emotional outbursts.” True leadership, he reminds us, is defined by calm, empathy, and resilience.

His journey is both humble and profound: from modest beginnings to building a successful career, Ben’s openness to mentorship has allowed him to empower others. Perhaps most moving is hearing how his adult children now challenge and mentor him in return—a testament to the generational power of guidance.

This episode is a reminder that leadership isn’t about authority; it’s about impact, connection, and the legacy of how we make others feel.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Daniela SM (00:01):
Hi, I'm Daniela.
Welcome to my podcast, becauseEveryone has a Story, the place
to give ordinary people'sstories the chance to be shared
and preserved.
Our stories become the languageof connections.
Let's enjoy it, connect andrelate, because everyone has a
story.
My guest is Ben Diaz.

(00:21):
Sometimes stories just staywith you.
Years ago, ben shared a storyof a moment of kindness that
left such an impression on meand I knew one day I had to
invite him to tell it here.
What I didn't know back thenwas that Ben is also an
incredible leader, with decadesof experience shaped by

(00:43):
mentorship and resilience.
Today's conversation is aboutone of the topics closest to my
heart leadership.
It was a true delight to sitwith Ben, to experience his
kindness, his empathy and hisdeep commitment to mentoring
others.
He's a reminder of the leaderswe need more, of those who leave
a legacy, not through authority, but through the way they make

(01:06):
others feel.
Let's enjoy Ben's story.
Welcome, ben to the show.

Ben Dias (01:12):
Thank you, daniela, happy to be here.

Daniela SM (01:13):
Yes, I am very excited that you're here,
because once we took a courseonline, we had to share stories
and you had this amazing storythat it has always stayed with
me for I don't know, maybe fiveyears, if no longer.
Finally, I found you again andasked you if you wanted to share
your story.
That's why you want to shareyour story, right?

Ben Dias (01:36):
Absolutely.
When you approached me that dayand asked me, I was very
flattered that you rememberedsome of the stories that we
shared in that class, and then Iwas super excited about the
opportunity to get to come on toyour podcast and share.

Daniela SM (01:51):
Yes, and this is just a small story from your
whole life and how you havebecome who you are now.
But when does your big storystarts?

Ben Dias (02:01):
My story will start when my work career started.
There's obviously a bunch as ayoung boy growing up that has
some relevance on who I'vebecome, but I'll start with when
my work career started and whythere.
I was thinking about some ofthis stuff when, particularly
yesterday and today, when I knewthis podcast was coming up and

(02:23):
I started thinking about how Igot to the position I am now and
what some of the reallyexciting parts of the work that
I get to do and when I sayexciting I also mean the parts
that I enjoy the most, that Ifeel like I take the most from.

Daniela SM (02:39):
Okay, you'll say that your story starts when you
started your career.
Is that because you havementors, or what happened?

Ben Dias (02:47):
Well, when I started my working career after high
school, I got into work becauseI needed to bring money into our
home.
I didn't come from a verywealthy home, it was just my mom
and my two brothers and my goalwas to earn money, which I was
able to do.
But then what?
After getting the job andearning a living and helping

(03:11):
contribute to the family, itstarted turning into a career.
I didn't know it was going toturn into a career that it did.
It was really about earningthat living.
And then through there I got tomeet some fabulous people that I
will categories as tremendouspeople, but also tremendous
mentors and coaches thatprovided some guidance and

(03:35):
assistance when I was trying tofigure out what I wanted to do
for a living.
I was so appreciative of thatand the way it helped form who
and where I was going to work.
I found myself almost in a debtto pay that forward and do the
same thing for other people andwhat I found out by doing that.

(03:56):
It was the best part of the jobwhen you were able to provide
some guidance and help.

Daniela SM (04:01):
So you've been working for the same company.

Ben Dias (04:03):
A few companies, but largely in the same type of work
, and it's mostly around largeconstruction projects and both
in private and governmentsectors.

Daniela SM (04:15):
And why do you think that you always, through your
path, found so many people thatwanted to help or mentor you?
Because I don't think that'susual.

Ben Dias (04:25):
Interesting.
Thanks for that question.
I feel like it was thatopen-minded approach that I was
open to hearing, listening,seeking out it and when I didn't
always have that approach,there was probably a younger
version of me that maybe wassomewhat closed-minded, younger
version of me that maybe wassomewhat closed-minded, but when

(04:47):
I opened myself up to receivingthat feedback and that
information, there was noshortage of people that wanted
to provide that.
Now, not all feedback andcoaching and mentoring is
created equally, but I was veryfortunate to have some
tremendous coaches and mentorsthat helped me, but it started

(05:11):
with me being open to hearing it.

Daniela SM (05:14):
Okay, it started with you being open.
Not just you, but also thepeople you were.
I don't know the right place atthe right time.
It was just mostly you.
Do you think that anybody whois open will find mentors?

Ben Dias (05:27):
I don't know if that's the case, if you will always,
but I feel like if your approachis one that you're open to
hearing maybe some stuff thatyou don't agree with.
And when I say that, I rememberI was working on a project and I
had a presentation to do and Iwas, I remember I was working on

(05:50):
a project and I had apresentation to do and I was
very confident in mypresentation and I had prepared
very hard for it.
This fellow that was helping meout I went to him just to share
with him the presentation andhe basically told me I was going
in the wrong direction with itand he didn't think I should
proceed with the way I hadprepped it.
And he didn't think I shouldproceed with the way I had
prepped it.
I disagreed with him at thebeginning but then sat and
reflected and thought about itand went back and changed it.

(06:11):
And he was right.
I just didn't want to hear it.
I had put so much work intodoing this, getting ready for
this presentation.
I didn't want to hear that Iwasn't doing it right and I was
reluctant to listen.
And then, after reflection, Iwent back and he was right and I
changed it and was verysuccessful in that presentation,
which opened up some otherdoors for me.

Daniela SM (06:32):
I see Interesting.
So you will say that we have tobe open-minded to listen to the
feedback.
But I mean, I'm sure you gotsome feedback or some
suggestions or tips or advicethat perhaps were not aligning
with your values, and how do youchoose not to go through those?

Ben Dias (06:51):
In my early days was trying to filter through what
was good advice and what was badadvice, and I do remember
having a supervisor I won't sayhe was a leader, but he was a
supervisor who was giving mesome advice that I didn't agree
with.
I was so sure he was wrong.

(07:11):
Now, after the fact, I lookback and, yeah, if I would have
followed that advice it wouldhave been terrible.
So I was able to filter throughthat and recognize that's not
what he was saying I didn'tagree with and was able to stay
with my gut instinct on it anddidn't follow that direction.

(07:37):
Information bad coaching is.
But with that said, though,there's a lot to be learned from
, say, a bad mentor.
What behaviors is thatindividual modeling that you
don't want to replicate?
So you're watching somebodyconduct themselves in a certain
way, or they're in a position ofauthority, but their leadership

(07:59):
skills are not that great andyou can watch and learn from
that.
Skills that are not great, thenyou can watch and learn from
that, and they may provide yousome information that you'll
have to decipher and decide ifyou're going to use it, but
there's opportunity to learnfrom maybe, bad mentors, for
lack of a better term.

Daniela SM (08:15):
Yes, exactly.
I mean we learn what we want todo from the good mentors and
what we don't want to do andhope that we get some good ones
to get some good ideas.

Ben Dias (08:25):
Yeah, and when you say what you don't want to do, if
you stop and watch those peoplethat are modeling behaviors,
just don't particularly screamleadership or make individuals
feel empowered or strengthened.
That's the stuff you want tostay away from.
If you're seeing it and it'smaking you feel a certain way,

(08:45):
then your objective should be tonot replicate those things.

Daniela SM (08:50):
Yes, but I feel that people, although they don't
enjoy those kind of behaviors,sometimes they repeat it when
they have the opportunity tolead.
And I have seen that and I'mreally surprised why people will
do that.
And I think it's because that'swhat they learned.

Ben Dias (09:05):
Well, I will tell you what I experienced when I was in
.
I was taking a bunch of nightschool courses and one of the
courses was on leadership and inthere there was a module on
emotional intelligence, and thisgoes back a really long time
ago.
But it was the first time I hadheard that term, emotional

(09:26):
intelligence, and I remember itgrabbing my attention and when I
learned more about it I waslike, oh, that emotional
intelligence, particularly whenyou become emotionally hijacked,
is normally something's goingwrong, something's not going,
maybe particularly the exact wayyou want it, and our instinct

(09:46):
is to emotionally react to it,which is usually when those bad
behaviors show up, is when webecome emotionally hijacked.
And I remember watching thatand listening to the instructor
and I'm like, oh, I was on thejob site yesterday or on this
project, I became emotionallyhijacked and I could so relate

(10:09):
with that piece where then Istarted really researching and
developing my knowledge aroundemotional intelligence and then
started practicing it.
And I recently just recently asin last week I was on a job site
that wasn't going particularlywell and the supervisor was

(10:30):
getting a little bit excited indefense of any of those words,
and I did sit with him and talkto him that it's pretty
straightforward to manage aproject when it's all going well
.
The real measure is how yourespond when things are not
going well.
The person that can stay calm,look at options on how to solve

(10:51):
problems versus reactive andemotionally hijacked.
The real strength is being ableto stay in that calm and
emotionally intelligent position.

Daniela SM (11:03):
Yes, I like that.
That the real strength is whenyou stay in calm in the
difficult parts.
It's the same as makingmistakes.
You know, we just hired 10 newstaff.
I said well, errors are part ofthe learning and sometimes when
you make errors is when youremember, so it is a good thing.
It's how you bounce back fromthose mistakes.
It depends, you know.
I will say, oh, you made amistake, and I make it like, oh,

(11:24):
you make a mistake, and it'slike a party.
Other people will point fingersand so how would they take it?

Ben Dias (11:30):
Right, there's another individual that I've had the
fortune of getting to know overthe last 15 years and he was
looking for.
There was an opportunity for apromotion that he was looking
for and he had come into myoffice and talked to me and
wanted to know what he needed todo to be successful at

(11:55):
potentially successful atgetting this job.
And I told him he needed towork on his emotional
intelligence when he talkedabout his reactive nature and
that he had to work on thispiece.
Well, he didn't like that.
He got up and walked out of myoffice and basically reacted to

(12:18):
the feedback, but he came back.
This was on a Friday.
He came back on the Monday andsaid to me I gave some thought
to what you said and you'reabsolutely right.
What do I need to do?
He went from being that, frombeing close to hearing that
feedback, to coming back with avery open-minded approach, and

(12:39):
what we ended up doing is wejust started working together on
different you know, differentleadership styles, not
necessarily just his leadershipstyles, but the leader, the
styles of the people he'sworking with.
And we went through all of thisstuff and it was a long process
.
He had worked really hard andincredibly hard.

(12:59):
I was so proud of him.
It came down.
There was a part of thecompetition was, there was an
interview and we talked aboutwhat he might wear to the
interview.
But he he's a fella who alwayswears a ball cap, because he has
a similar kind of hairstyle Ido, but he always wears a
baseball cap and I said youcan't wear, don't wear your

(13:21):
baseball cap into the interview.
And he's like Ben, I can't wear, don't wear your baseball cap
into the interview.
And he's like Ben, I can't dothat.
I don't go out in public,basically, without my hat on.
I'm like okay, then wear yourhat.
Let's not create thatnervousness.
Now I was also on the interviewpanel interviewing him.
So what I decided to do was Idecided to, I also wore a hat to

(13:45):
the interview and but he walkedin, he seen me wearing a hat
and he was wearing a hat and Iwas trying to make him
comfortable in the interview.
But then I listened to him talkabout his leadership and his
problem solving skills and I was, I was, was.
It was just such a moment ofpride for me because this fellow

(14:07):
who basically got mad walkedout my door because I had given
him some feedback that he didn'tnecessarily like, worked really
hard over a period of maybe sixto twelve months to get himself
into a spot.
And then he comes into thisinterview and is just his
leadership style, hiscommunication, his coaching, his

(14:27):
mentoring all of that justshone through so strongly that
it was a real moment of.
It was a return on days of mycareer where people took that
time to do those things for meor with me that opened up so

(14:47):
many doors.
And here I was, on the otherside of the equation now, had
been working with thisindividual and I got to see them
be very successful.
It was just tremendous.

Daniela SM (14:58):
Yes, and that's very good also that you were able to
pinpoint something likeemotional intelligence, because
I feel that people don't want totouch that because it's just
very difficult.
It's like probably saying thesame as oh, you don't smell good
.
It's similar to that.
It's so subjective.

Ben Dias (15:15):
Yes.

Daniela SM (15:16):
I don't have problems with that.
I have problems with whenpeople have, no matter what you
say.
It's just not going to beunderstood.

Ben Dias (15:24):
It is.

Daniela SM (15:24):
Going back to the story of you and that's what we
hear you said that you started ajob and you met a lot of
mentors, and so what happened?
What is your story?

Ben Dias (15:36):
What ended up happening is that I again I'm
going to stress that I've beenso fortunate to have tremendous
coaches and mentors that tookthe time to invest in me and I
want to come back to that partabout taking the time a little
bit after spending my efforts inthe right areas and was able to

(16:07):
, through some hard work on mypart and some of the fabulous
coaching and mentoring, was ableto focus in on where I wanted
to take my career, keeping inmind that when I first entered
the workforce, this was aboutjust helping to provide for a
family.
It was not about a career, andI didn't recognize that this was

(16:27):
going to transform into this,but it did, and I've now been in
similar type of work for over30 years.
I've got a fabulous job and afabulous organization, a
fabulous career.
So it took me out of highschool where I really didn't
know what I was going to do.

(16:48):
I just knew I had to help, Ineeded to earn some money and I
was going to try to figure itout as I went.
But what I didn't know was Iwas already in the right spot
and I was already working withsome people that were going to
help me develop into this whereI've gotten to now.
What I will say now about thetaking time is one of the best

(17:13):
parts of the work that I get todo is when I get to find
individuals maybe the band ofyesterdecade and sit and spend
some time with them and investthat into them and watch them
develop and be successful.

(17:33):
It is the greatest return of mytime and investment when I get
to see that happen and I justfeel like what somebody gave me
at one point in time.
And now I have the opportunityto do this for somebody else and
I need to take the time to dothis because it's so, so

(17:56):
important.
And I have another story thatI'll share with you shortly, the
one I told you when we were inthat course about somebody
taking time out of their worldto help me.
That had me stop and reallyrethink and actually recognize
that there's more.
I could be doing so all my wayback from a trip and I was.

(18:18):
I was towing a large boat andtrailer and I was having
mechanical problems with thetrailer and I didn't have the
right tools, so I stopped.
I managed to get to a Canadiantire where I stopped and the
brakes you could smell.
The brakes were really heatingup and there was a problem with
the trailer.
And when I got out of thevehicle I was pretty frustrated.

(18:41):
But my goal was to go in and buythe tools that I needed to try
and fix this issue I was having.
And there was a fellow standingthere just kind of looking at
me and I just recognized thatyou know he was there and it
seemed kind of odd.
But I had gone into theCanadian Tire and I had spent
considerable time in theretrying to find the right tools

(19:02):
and parts I needed Must havespent half an hour.
And I came out and this fellowwas still standing there.
And now I'm thinking, okay,what does this guy want?
Is he going to give me somegrief Cause I parked in the
wrong spot or something?
But he started talking to meand he said oh, I recognize
you're having some mechanicalproblems and I really wasn't

(19:22):
looking for help, but he wastalking to me.
And then he said to me he said,hey, do you have a watch?
And I'm like no, but I grabbedmy phone.
I can tell you he's like no.
No, I don't want to know thetime, but I'll make you a deal
If you give me 20 minutes ofyour time, I bet you I could fix

(19:45):
this trailer for you and haveyou back on the road in 20
minutes.
All I need you to do is startyour stopwatch and I'm thinking
this just can't be real, likewhat is going on here.
And he said no, if this is a3,500-pound axle, I have a spare
set of wheel bearings for you.

(20:06):
I know you think it's brakes,but I don't think it is.
I think it's wheel bearings.
But all that aside, if you juststart your stopwatch and give
me 20 minutes, I think I couldget you and your family back on
the road.
So I was just totally taken backby this individual.
And now I was fascinated,because here's somebody who's I

(20:28):
could see his wife was in hisvehicle or his partner was in
his vehicle.
He had his RV on the back ofhis truck, but he was stopping
to do this.
And his approach give me 20minutes of your time, I'll get
you back and I was like, oh,that's the least I could give
you.
So, as he's talking, I noticedthat on his right hand he had a

(20:51):
custom-made glove and he wasmissing the two bottom of his
pinky and then the next fingerwas missing from his hand and he
had a custom glove to cover histhumb and then the two
remaining fingers.
And he started telling me astory that he lost half of his
hand battling cancer and thathe's now got cancer again.

(21:13):
He's in treatment for that,he's telling me, and he's
telling me the story while he'sfixing my my vehicle and then
he's like oh, what's yourstopwatch saying?
I'm like, oh, 12 minutes, hegoes.
Okay, let's just keep going.
And he's telling me all thisstory.
And then his partner came overand talked to him and she just

(21:34):
recognized that this is whatthis individual does, and so she
just checked in on him and he'slike, oh, he's all good, this
is bad and stuff, and introducedme and she went back to her
vehicle.
And then, at about 22 minutes,he's like okay, I think we're
good, you just lower yourvehicle off the jack and you're
good to go.

(21:56):
And I was just.
I didn't want to leave at thispoint.
I was just so amazed by thishuman being who's gone through
so much in his world to take allthis time out of his day to
wait for me than to help me.
And then I had some money in mypocket and I offered him I

(22:19):
can't remember if it was a $100bill or a $50 bill, but that's
the only increments I had andhe's like no, no way.
I'm like I can't not.
You put all the parts.
Those parts are $21.
I will take $21 from you, but Iwon't take a dime more.
I'm like, okay, let me go getsome.
Let me just go get some change.

(22:40):
I went and got some change andgave him his $21 and just
thanked him profusely and partedways with him.
Unfortunately, I've never seenhim again.
I wish I got the opportunity tosee him again.
Maybe he'll hear this podcastand he'll know that it was him I
was talking to tell them thestory about.
But I remember driving away withthis, just this huge feeling,

(23:04):
even me telling the story.
Right now I'm getting thefeeling again, but, um, just
feeling that this person can dothis for me.
I need to, I need to elevate mygame.
I just there's just so muchmore I can do that I I've not
been doing.
Um, and one of the things nowis if I'm on a road trip,

(23:27):
driving, and I see somebody elseon the side of the road
stranded, I will stop.
I will stop.
I will do whatever I can to getback to them to offer some
assistance.
And you know, I I I was on thehighway last summer and I saw
these two ladies on the side ofthe road and they were stuck and

(23:48):
I was able to back down andhelp them and they were out of
gas and I had an extra can ofgas in the car and was able to
help.
And the lady said to me therehave probably been 200 people
that have driven by us andnobody stopped to help us.
And nobody stopped to help usand was so thankful I didn't get
to tell them this story of this, but it's because of this

(24:11):
person that did this for me.
There's just no way I was goingto drive by these people and
not I had the means to help them.
Why wouldn't I stop and helpthem?
That was just well.
I remember the day vividly,just because it was so profound,
right.

Daniela SM (24:26):
Yes, and I remember the story vividly just because
it was so profound, right?
Yes, and I remember the storymostly for how you said that you
felt that somebody didsomething for you.
I don't remember the cancer part, I don't remember the glove
things, and so I was just like,oh my God all these details, but
you know like they say youalways remember how somebody
makes you feel and even thoughit didn't happen to me, your

(24:49):
feelings kind of transferred tomy memories about the story that
I wanted to hear again.
Yes, and so would you feel'tknow, maybe, for other aspects

(25:15):
of your life that you don't knowor you haven't thought about,
and also these kind of thingssomebody helping you.
I feel like also you missed thepart of that when you went to
fix the boat, something you werenot feeling well or something
was happening as well.
So I think that also adds tothat.
So it helps to bring whateveryou if you were down, you came

(25:38):
up, you know you felt muchbetter.

Ben Dias (25:41):
Your memory is fantastic because I did leave
that part out, but my stomachwas not well that day.
I had been away for severaldays and it was a really hot day
and I wasn't feeling well.
I had to use the facilities inthe Canadian Tire.
It just took me even longer.
But nice job, your memory isfantastic.

(26:02):
Wow, okay.

Daniela SM (26:19):
Well, that's true, but yeah, who he is have written
about how to make friends andinfluence people since the 1900s
and it's nothing new.
It is actually the doors toconnect with people, and it's
true that in North America weare you know, in Canada, and
especially Canada and the US weare more individualistic culture

(26:43):
than they are in South Americaor somewhere in Europe.
But I feel it is very important, and now is when people are
talking about emotionalintelligence and trying to
mention how vital it is.
But it has always been with thetribe, with the village, with
the community.
It's just a normal thing thatyou need to do and I'm happy

(27:07):
that you can actually grow it.
It's not like EQ that you haveit or you don't, but the
emotional intelligence you canwork on it, and so it is very
important.

Ben Dias (27:17):
I agree very much when I first heard about it it does
go back a couple of decades whenI was first introduced to it,
but my interest in it is stillvery heightened.
But my exercising of emotionalintelligence is something that
is just an always ongoing effortto exercise that and be better.

(27:40):
And then when you're able tomaybe walk somebody else through
it, or well, let me back up.
Um, when I entered theworkforce, there was no such
thing as emotional intelligence.
You, you, in the type of workthat I do, if you the louder you
yelled and screamed and threwthings around and behaved that

(28:01):
way, the more effective you wereas a leader or somebody running
a large project.
It was a requirement for thejob to not have emotional
intelligence, to be uberreactionary to everything, and
you've almost led by a positionof fear or intimidation, where

(28:21):
now that is just so unacceptableand ineffective that if you are
susceptible to emotionaloutbursts, it won't work in this
environment.
You need to be exercising thatemotional intelligence and
demonstrating that emotionalintelligence, because you will

(28:41):
quickly lose your team, youraudience, quickly lose your team
, your audience, whoever youmight be trying to guide or
provide direction to.
Nothing turns somebody awayquicker than continuous
emotional outbursts because theindividual cannot keep it under

(29:04):
control or exercise thoseemotional intelligence.
It just doesn't work in today'sday and age.

Daniela SM (29:12):
I feel that maybe where you work and where I work,
I have a friend who has a joband she's an engineer, so she
does little projects withprojects and buildings and stuff
and her boss calls her you haveto use your head, you're just
stupid.
He says things like that atthis time in Canada and I know
that in Europe people still willyell at you and call you.

(29:36):
So I don't think that we arethat advanced.
I wish we could, but it's notIn so many topics in life.
I think Canada is veryprivileged on that.

Ben Dias (29:46):
There's something to be said for it.
You said earlier, you might notremember what somebody has said
to you, but you will rememberhow they make you feel and as I
was telling the story of thatindividual that helped me which
has got to be a better partmaybe eight years ago the
feelings of that day all cameback just flooding over me when

(30:06):
I was just telling you thatstory.
So you will always remember howsomebody makes you feel and if
somebody is treating you withthat disrespect or yelling and
screaming in an effort toprovide leadership, it's just
backwards, it's not effective.
You probably lose some reallygood people because they're

(30:27):
going to look to find some otherplace to work on ourselves and
whatever issues we have.

Daniela SM (30:49):
And that's when you become a better person, for
others as well, and for yourself.
But some people don't realize,or they don't even want to know,
that there are issues they needto work on.

Ben Dias (31:00):
I agree and when you're just saying that, I feel
like maybe I should just alittle bit about my story and
effort or hope that maybethere's somebody who will listen
to your podcast that willconnect this into their world
and see that the opportunitiesare there.
But when I was probably sevenyears old, I lived way up in

(31:26):
northern BC.
My mom grabbed whatever we had,whatever she could, and put it
in the back of the pickup truckand loaded me and my two
brothers into just a regular cabpickup truck.
So it meant for three to sit inthe front.
But we fit the four of us inthere, loaded everything that we
could and left Left in themiddle of the night and never

(31:47):
went back to get away from anabusive I guess an abusive
father and an abusive husband,and anything that we had was in
the back of that truck.
And we relocated to the lowermainland and then finished
school, ended up having to dothe job to try to help the
family make it.

(32:08):
And this is where I said it wasall about just getting a job,
graduating, getting a job thatnow it's turned into this
tremendous career.
So the reason why I say that isthere is an opportunity and a
way to do it if you're open toit and you're fortunate enough
to see the opportunity and thenseize that.

(32:28):
And for me, this was theopportunity to find some
tremendous mentors and coaches,listen to their advice and then
act on it, and then continue toseek more information and then
act on it, and I was able toturn what was just to get a job
into a career that I've beendoing this line of work for over

(32:50):
30 years and I just feel sofortunate that I was able to go
from that kind of a situationall the way to where I am now,
and all of the learnings thatwere in between then and now are
just been tremendous.

Daniela SM (33:05):
And that's wonderful .
So you have a career due to thementors that you had and the
experiences that you have living, but you're also a good leader
that you like to lead people,and then you want them to also
grow and be better than you,because that's the goal, right.

Ben Dias (33:21):
I guess it's in the bucket of leadership to gain
guidance, advice, trying to help.
I was very fortunate a fewyears ago to get an opportunity
to work with some fabulouspeople to put a leadership
development course together andwas able to teach leadership
Several several cohorts of youknow 20 people in each one.

(33:43):
You know 20 people in each one.
So I was able to formallyactually do it too in a
classroom situation to providethat as well as the day-to-day
kind of practical guidance andleadership.
So yes, absolutely.
It's a fabulous part of thework that I get to do.

Daniela SM (34:00):
And do you think that that's the most rewarding
from the rest of all the thingsyou do?

Ben Dias (34:05):
Not necessarily the process of providing it, but
when you see somebody else besuccessful.
That is by far the best part ofwhat I get to do is watch
somebody else maybe not surewhere their career was going.
Then they found opportunities.
They'd have to go off and do abunch of hard work and then to
watch them be successful andthen for their careers to take

(34:28):
off Absolutely the best part ofthe job.

Daniela SM (34:31):
Have you had opportunities where you were
mentoring somebody?
It didn't go positively.

Ben Dias (34:35):
Yes, definitely, that definitely happens, more than on
more than one occasion, forsure.

Daniela SM (34:40):
And what do you think is the reason?

Ben Dias (34:42):
A couple that I can think of right off the top of my
head.
A couple that I can think ofright off the top of my head,
for whatever reason, theopenness to receive information
and feedback either.
Well, it went away, eitherbecause the individual maybe
stopped trusting what I was, theinformation I was providing, or
didn't want to do it, or maybethey felt it was just too much

(35:04):
and they weren't capable.
But really it just boiled downto that when it got into a spot
where it's almost close-mindednow and they didn't want to hear
or didn't agree and went in adifferent direction.

Daniela SM (35:14):
As the leaders, we also have to adapt to people's
way of learning.
Is that something that you dothat in these cases, would have
worked, or you really did whatyou could?
And there is sometimes.
If people are close, then youcan.

Ben Dias (35:27):
Well, I would never say there was nothing else I
could do.
I believe that I could haveprobably tried some other stuff,
but I am definitely aware thateveryone's style for burning is
different and I did try severaldifferent pieces in there.
But you just reminded me ofanother story I'd like to share.
I told you I got to do aleadership, I got to teach a

(35:49):
leadership course here and inthe course.
Part of it is that at the endthe students do a capstone
project where they get up infront of their other students
and they present on what theirlearnings were.
Actually they could present onwhatever they wanted to, but it
needed to tie back to thecontent of the course.

(36:09):
And there was an older lady whoI gave everyone at the
beginning of the assignment mycell number and said if anyone
is nervous or doesn't reallyknow what to do, please phone me
and we'll arrange to gettogether and I'll help you.
So this lady who was near theend of her career and was a

(36:30):
former prison guard so she's gota real presence to her she said
I don't know what to present onand I said well, talk to me a
little bit about this stuff.
And we were in another mediaroom and there was a whiteboard
and there was a marker and shestarted talking.
She goes you know, what I'velearned is that my leadership

(36:52):
style.
I need to be able to adapt thatto the people that I'm trying
to lead, because not everyonefollows the same types of
directions.
So I'm learning that there aresome people that I can just be
really short and to the pointwith and other people I need to
take time to explain to.
And then she talked aboutstopping and listening instead
of just that one-waycommunication.

(37:13):
And as she's talking, I'mmaking notes on the driver's
board.
Oh, she's had to adapt herleadership style.
She's working on her two-waycommunication, and that she came
from a world where she workedin a very male-dominant industry
and she was fortunate enough tofind a mentor there that really
helped her and empowered her.

(37:35):
Oh, and I wrote on thereempowered and stuff, and she
told a fabulous story about thisempowering.
And then I turned to her and Isaid are you wondering what I'm
writing on the board?
She's like, yeah, I'm kind ofwondering.
I'm like this is yourpresentation, what you've just
told me.
You give me goosebumps becauseit was so powerful what you've
just talked about, how yourleadership has transformed from

(37:58):
your early days as a prisonguard to now where you're
leading a group of people ofvarious ages and genders.
It was just fabulous.
So then I got to sit in theaudience to watch her
presentation and she went upthere and presented on this, and
it was just an absolutelyfabulous opportunity to get to

(38:18):
work with her, provide someguidance and then watch her be
so successful.
And this is a person who didn'teven know what to present on,
but she was filled with thisleadership, not because of the
course, but because of her andjust a little bit of guidance
and some more information.
She just absolutely wasdemonstrating the kind of stuff

(38:41):
that we like to see in otherpeople.

Daniela SM (38:43):
Wonderful Ben.
Did you learn any leadershipskills from your mom?

Ben Dias (38:47):
Definitely I learned I don't know if they're
leadership skills, but I learnedhard work.
Might be scary to get out of abad situation, but grab your
stuff and get out and then startworking on what you're going to
do next.
So I definitely learned thatand perseverance the stuff that
we went through as a not awealthy family and a very small

(39:10):
family with not a lot of meansthat hard work, perseverance and
leadership.
My mom raised me and my twobrothers by herself.
You know we're three brothers.
We did what normally threebrothers would do in the 70s and
80s and 90s kind of thing.

Daniela SM (39:28):
So yes, and your brothers are similar to your
personality as well.

Ben Dias (39:32):
I feel they are.
We've got our own identities,but there are so many
similarities in there.
Both my brothers are verysuccessful.
That's awesome.

Daniela SM (39:40):
And you have kids as well.

Ben Dias (39:41):
I do, I have three kids, yeah.

Daniela SM (39:43):
Do you use your leadership skills?
I do, I have three kids, yeah,do you use your leadership?

Ben Dias (39:46):
skills, some of them, definitely, and I do use my
leadership skills with them.
But what's happened now?
Because they're all in their20s, now they're starting to
turn it around and they'redeveloping their own and are
challenging me.
Like you know, dad, this is notwhat you said.
Really, is that your approachto this and now finding they're

(40:07):
starting to now provide guidanceand leadership?
To me it's tremendous.

Daniela SM (40:11):
Oh, that's amazing.
Well, that's the point.
Right.
I will read you something thehighest compliment to be
bestowed on a parent is a childsurpassing them.
I always believe that whatyou're saying about your kids,
they surpass you.

Ben Dias (40:24):
And I agree with that.
In this case you're talkingabout our children because
they're obviously so dear to us.
But second to that, second,maybe third to that, watching
other people just they don'tneed to be family.
I agree, the pride you takefrom seeing a child surpass you
is just hard to describe.

(40:45):
But watching other people alsodo that is tremendously
rewarding and fulfilling.

Daniela SM (40:52):
Yes, yes.
So what is next for you?

Ben Dias (40:54):
What is next for me?
I'm going to look to finish offmy career on a very high note,
which I feel like I am right now, so I'm going to try to keep
this going, and then I'm goingto start figuring out what the
next chapter looks like, whichis possibly retirement.

Daniela SM (41:09):
Okay, well, I'm sure leadership is always going to
be there for you.

Ben Dias (41:14):
Well, it's funny you say that because a part of
retirement is okay, I may retirefrom my current job, but what
will I do after that?
And I feel like that, somethingin that leadership, that
coaching, that mentoring.
I listened to a couple of theother podcasts that you've had
where individuals went on tocoach and mentor in the fitness

(41:35):
industry.
Some went on to actualprofessional coaching and
leadership.
So when I listened to thoseother two gentlemen I was like
interesting.

Daniela SM (41:44):
Yes, yes, well, I hope to see you again.
Thank you so much for the storyand for talking and so
wonderful things about thissubject of leadership.

Ben Dias (41:52):
Thank you very much for having me have a great day.
Thank you.

Daniela SM (41:54):
I hope this story of kindness and leadership gave
you something to reflect on.
If you enjoyed this episode,share it with someone who could
use a reminder of the power ofempathy and mentorship, letting
that ordinary magic spread alittle further.
Join me next time for anotherstory conversation.
Thank you for listening.
Hasta pronto.
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