March 18, 2024 • 35 mins
In this episode, Dan and Jody as we continue to go through the 8 limbs. This week we share the practices of Dyhana. This episode promises to illuminate the path to self-mastery through the art of Dhyana and Dharana, offering a challenges who are entangled in the chaos of modern existence. Our personal trials and triumphs in taming the restless mind serve as a testament to the power these disciplines hold in achieving clarity and a serene state of being. Whether you’re a seasoned practitioner or new to the practice, you'll discover invaluable insights into overcoming the common hurdles of stillness amidst life's relentless pace.
As we wade through the depths of stress and trauma, we encounter meditation not just as a practice, but as a vital component of healing and self-discovery. Join us in unraveling the importance of creating a safe haven for reflection, a necessity often overlooked in the rush toward mindfulness. Through candid discussions, we share the layers of our own meditation journeys, offering practical strategies for integrating this ancient wisdom into the fabric of everyday life. As we unfold the narrative of inner transformation, we invite you to find solace in the stillness within and cultivate a practice that extends beyond the meditation cushion, into the vivid tapestry of your daily experiences.
We would love to hear from you! Email us at becomeoneliving@gmail.com or reach out to us on Instagram at BecomeOne Living.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:15):
And we're back again for another episode of Become
One Living.
I'm Dan.
This is my wife, Jo.
Hi she's a forever yoga person.
A forever yoga, I mean justforever.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I feel.
I want to feel like I came outof the womb wanting yoga, but I
don't know if that's true.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Well, you've certainly done enough work to
get us all the way to a placewhere we can at least have a
conversation about the dhyana,one of the limbs of yoga, one of
the more down the road limbs ofyoga.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yes, become one living.
It's a podcast where we shareancient tools for modern living.
How can you apply the yogictools, the tools of the system
of yoga, in your life now, inthe world we live in, not go
(01:17):
live in a cave and meditate andshut down everything?
So we have been talking aboutin past episodes the eight limbs
of yoga, which create thesystem of yoga.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
And include tools like, say, breath, say movement,
tools that can create a pathwayor a journey or a lifestyle
that supports being in the worldin a way that is healthy.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
And self mastery or self leadership.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Realization.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yes, these tools, these limbs say are you looking
at how you engage in the world?
Who are you in the world?
Then?
The second one is how are youwith yourself?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
And everyone listening.
You're invited into thisconversation because I'm not
sitting here pretending that I'man authority, but my teachers
and the things that I've heardalong the way are that if you
want to be in the yoga community, you have to at least
understand that these things areout there.
Now Jodi, on the other hand, isreally pursued the tools
(02:40):
investigated, the tools used,many of the tools, so much so
that today you have a meditationpractice that's a couple hours
a day.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yes, my meditation practice is now two hours a day,
and that's actually what we'retalking about.
So the seventh limb of the limbpath.
Diana is actually when youstart to meditate.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Right and if you see the pathway there.
So the limb before DianaDharana is about concentrating.
If you can't home your abilityto concentrate for a periods of
time, then meditation is stilloff.
It's still a distant task ortool that you'll be able to
(03:31):
develop, but we all have, it'savailable to all of us.
It's just a matter of how doyou want to incorporate this or
do you have the desire toincorporate this in your life?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
And the skill set and the capacity.
When I hear Diana, I think do Ihave the capacity to be with
something wholeheartedly for acertain amount of time?
(04:05):
That is why we need to go backfor a moment to concentration is
when you choose something tofocus on.
And if you don't understandyour behavior, if you all
listening, don't understand whyyou do something or how you do
something and your actions areunconscious, automatic, like
(04:28):
getting in a car, we don't haveto think about how to drive
anymore.
Some of the habits that we doalong the way behavior wise,
they become unconscious.
We don't even know we're doingthem.
That's why we have toconcentrate on one thing and
choose that thing wisely andfocus all our attention into
(04:51):
that one thing, whether it be amantra, your breath, a candle,
something you're choosing.
Now you practice that.
Your mind will wander 999million times in the beginning
and you may feel you can't dothis.
How does anyone do this?
I'm no good at this.
(05:11):
No one's good at concentrating.
At first, the way our brain iswired is to be able to stay
alive.
So neurologically we're wiredto pick up multiple sensory at
multiple times.
Everything is coming in.
So concentration is saying holdup, hold up, I know you're here
(05:33):
, but I'm focusing on this andI'm going to stay with this, no
matter what.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
So Dorana is where I get stuck.
It's not where I get stuck, butit's my favorite limb, because
I've been able to accomplishthings in my life with.
What I attribute to is thediscipline to concentrate for
long periods of time on a task,so I have a certain affinity for
(06:08):
that one.
That limb concentration andconcentration is required, or is
that skill that precedes yourability to meditate?
So, again, the tools.
(06:30):
Like you want to shake out yourbody neurologically, you want
to shake out your body, you wantto move your body, you want to
get connected to your breath,you want to be able to
concentrate on things, and thisis all kind of like a pathway to
the more advanced, so to speak,abilities or tools.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yes, the most three limbs are considered mastery of
self, and that is becausethey're more subtle.
They're not.
They have nothing to do withthe outer world.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
They're subtle and they're powerful.
The recent thing I've comeacross is the harder it is for
you to sit, the deeper yourrealization.
So anyone that's listeningdon't write this off and pretend
like that oh I'll never do that, or it's just not useful, or I
can't make money doing that oranything like that.
It's like it's all available toall of us and it supports a
(07:23):
great way of life.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Can we pause one second?
Can you move in?
Because you keep moving backand it's echoing.
Oh, okay, so it's just me,because when you step back it
echoes.
So is that okay that it echoes?
Okay, so it's his not echoingwhen he goes back.
(08:00):
It's just I hear him echoingbecause he steps back.
It's not through.
You don't hear that, okay,sorry, damn.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
You'll tell him okay, that's great.
I think it's me with the michearing him.
Okay, okay.
(08:46):
Great, okay, I Was.
I Appreciate so much how muchyou've used Dharana and the
importance of that.
As you mentioned.
(09:07):
You get fixated on that, orthat's your one, because all
that it has offered you.
All the other limbs Lead you tothis place of drawing in and
drawing in, and I want to readyou something by Carl Jung.
Your vision will become clearOnly when you look into your
(09:34):
heart.
Who looks outside dreams, wholooks within awakes.
To me, dianna is about wakingup and moving inside, because
everything we need is here tosee clearly.
(09:57):
So what is the differencebetween these two limbs?
One is you're trying toconcentrate on one thing.
The Other is you can stay therefor long periods of time
uninterrupted.
That's meditation in the worldof the yoga sutras is Okay, I'm
(10:24):
focusing on this, and in thebeginning my mind's all over the
place.
Or I can't sit still, or Ican't do this, or this is here,
I'm thinking.
After a while, that object andyou Start to become one, and
your focus never leaves thatobject for a longer period of
time without interruption.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Can you talk a little bit about your experience with
the changes or the feelings orI'm not sure what the word is
what comes over your system whenyou're able to sit for long
periods of time in meditation?
I Don't mean because mostpeople it's just like I tried to
(11:08):
meditate, I tried to mean.
I mean you can hear that, yeah,any, any conversation that has
meditation in it is with a human, is Current day, right now.
It's like oh yeah, I tried todo that.
I did it for 30 days.
I did a 30 day challenge.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
And then you stopped right, but.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
But I feel like that there's a reason why that
happens and I because in my mindI feel like it's because you're
the human is not Understandingthat you need to do it long
enough until you feel whathappens.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Until you feel peace, until you feel love and grace.
Those are abstract to me, words.
They're very abstract, and Holdthis for a moment, dan, because
I want to share with you allthat Meditation one is different
(12:07):
to everyone.
I just want to say that I'mtalking about traditional yoga
meditation sitting still sittingin silence, and being with one
point, one thing, no matter whatIf you've experienced a lot of
stress, if you work in astressful environment example
(12:31):
nurses- Firemen, policeman yeah,policeman first responders and
even even corporate jobs high,high, high and and teachers now.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Yeah, stressful.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
If you have a lot of stress, if you're a caregiver,
let's say this if you lit, ifyou're alive right now and
you're inundated withinformation and the world is
very stressful, let's be real itwill be challenging for you to
sit still.
And If you've experiencedtrauma, sickness, illness, it's
(13:12):
gonna be even harder to sitstill.
Because for me, experiencingcomplex trauma since a child and
living in an environment with alot of uncertainty, I Never
understood why I could notmeditate until I realized I
didn't feel safe To slow down.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
So feel that feeling safety, the feeling of being
safe or safety, is almost aprerequisite or a requirement
for the human system.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Yes, I rarely Tell my students or my clients close
your eyes, sit still, don't move, meditate unless they've been
with me for months or years andI know their capacity to be with
their stuff.
If I'm just working with a newclient and they come in and they
have a lot of stuff to unpackin yoga therapy, I don't force
(14:12):
them to close their eyes.
I Don't force them to be stillbecause I don't know what
they've been through if they'renot sharing it and I don't know
what they're experiencing.
I Want to my friends listening.
Please hear this and telleveryone.
I want to normalize not beingable to meditate.
(14:35):
I want to normalize therepulsion to meditate, the fear
to meditate, the I don't need tomeditate.
I want to normalize that andthen let people know that, after
everything I've experienced inmy life, if I can sit still with
myself for two hours, anyonecan, and it's taken me 30 years
(15:02):
29 to 30 years of practicingyoga and to be able to sit still
.
Come back to well, first comeback to my body that I've tried
for many years to leave.
Meaning running from stuff,overdoing right, exercising,
(15:23):
watching TV, distracting.
So one is you got to come home,get embodied and then you have
to calm your nervous system,which took me years because I
was stuck on.
I was on my friends go time.
I was that person that when Iworked at a gym, I was a
(15:46):
bodybuilder Y'all can youbelieve that I bodybuilded, I
did mis-fitness competitions andwhen the owner of the gym I
worked at came to me and saidyou are going to teach
meditation, I laughed in herface.
I also used a box and I trainedwith a semi pro, a semi pro
(16:06):
golden glove boxer, and Iphysically wanted to hit her.
At the time I was a kidthinking do you know who I am?
I can't sit still, I'm afighter.
Now think of all this, theseideas we've created about
ourselves.
Then we go to yoga class andthe teacher wants us to sit
cross-legged, touch our thumband index finger and, ohm, what
(16:27):
the hell is that?
So, coming back, if we clearout everything foo-fooey about
meditation and we start to lookat neuroscience, the reason we
need stillness is because wehave to transcend the limiting
(16:48):
beliefs.
Not transcend life, not live inthe ethers, but go above the
idea of I can't sit still.
If you can't go above that orcome back to your breath, even
though it's there, you won't beable to get past these stories.
(17:09):
Or people say, the ego that hasbecome woven into the very
fabric that you are.
Our circumstances create us.
We have to uncreate ourselves.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah, and it's so great that the eight limbs you
know.
Just you're making me think.
Some of the words you're usingis that you just don't jump to
meditation.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
No, no, I mean I wouldn't suggest that, even
though that was suggested on meyears ago by my teacher.
I understand why, but theresources we now know weren't
available back then.
I mean, you're talking 30 yearsago.
They weren't talking abouttrauma then.
(18:01):
Everywhere is trauma now trauma, informed trauma, this trauma,
that and I don't even just meanbig T, little T, just chronic
stress and Instagram andFacebook and inundation of
information.
I recommend slowing down, maybestarting with turning off your
TV.
(18:21):
Maybe start with not listeningto the radio in the car.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Shutting down electronics after a certain hour
.
Yeah, I suggest.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Slowly, in the everyday world that you function
in, you start to alter it there, and at first years ago, dan, I
stopped listening to the radio.
That's what I first started andthen I stopped.
I don't have TV.
We don't have a TV.
That doesn't mean we don'twatch movies here and there, but
(18:55):
we don't have a physical TV andI haven't had one for 20 years,
and Dan and I are together 13.
So he hasn't, we haven't hadone in 13 years.
So I suggest, start with those.
And if my mom's listening tothis, I love you, mom, but we go
visit my mother and she is 77.
(19:15):
She turns on the TV when me andDan walk in.
I'm like, hello, judy, that'smy mom, that's my mom's name.
I'm like yo, jude, we're hereto talk with you.
And she's like, yeah, I'm like,well, turn down the TV, why,
right, yeah, but that's what I'msaying.
It's not, I'm not sayinganything about her, but that
(19:36):
would be the first thing for herto do, dan would be just turn
off the TV and the music once ina while.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
And then over time we can start to slow down.
But the one thing you said Iwant to come back to I had to
learn safety or I had to come toknow that I never had felt safe
in my life.
(20:05):
That concept of slowing downwas so foreign growing up.
It was if I wasn't doinganything, I was a loser, or I
wasn't good enough or I had tokeep producing.
So that concept of slowing downenough to be still felt like
what if they get me?
What if something happens?
I know it may sound weird toyou all listening and you may
(20:30):
have a different experienceabout that, but what I'm sharing
is the more we slow down,neurologically we're more
susceptible to danger andprimordial.
We're wired to stay alive.
So think about itNeurologically we're wired to
stay alive, to be on alert.
(20:51):
I'm asking you to slow down inthe middle of a yoga room, let's
say, and close your eyes in aroom filled with 5, 10, 15, 20,
30 people.
That is dangerous to ournervous system.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Yeah, and cultivating that as a yoga teacher or a
studio, let's say, yoga asanahas become such a business and
everyone sort of just presumesthat well, concentrating in
meditation and all that.
I actually don't even know whatpeople think about that,
because it's so asana driven,but the business world almost
(21:35):
gets in the way where it's like.
I would love to come back tounderstanding, the understanding
of why a yoga studio would lockthe door so that when this
class begins, the people who arepresent can feel like it will
be uninterrupted, that they'resafe, that it's calm, that the
unit is together.
Because you know, seven minutesinto a class, when somebody
(21:58):
comes rushing into the door, itchanges.
It's almost like knocking overthe bowling pins.
It totally destroys what'sstarting to happen.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
You just shared upon trauma informed management.
In a yoga room People say I'mvery strict If you're late you
ain't coming in Y'all.
If you want to come take myclass in Jersey, or if we're
traveling, I'd love to see you.
If you're not on time, you'renot coming in.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
And don't ask for a refund, because that's actually
part of your learning.
That's part of your learning.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
If you want to participate, don't even do it.
You're not getting back.
You signed up for this.
Be on time.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Yeah, that's part of the yoga I was telling somebody,
it's like okay, tell me aboutthe basics of a basketball game.
Okay, you got five guys on thecourt on each team.
Each has a coach.
There's a boundary line.
If the ball goes out of theboundary, then the ball goes to
the other team and blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah.
And those are the rules, andthey're like okay, okay, and I
(23:03):
said now, there was this timewhen Michael Jordan approached
Kobe Bryant and said you mightbe able to wear my shoes, but
you'll never be able to fill myshoes.
Now, is that in the book ofrules of the NBA basketball?
(23:24):
No, but that's part of the game.
So showing up on time beforethe door locks is part of the
game, of your learning, oflearning that there's other
things, that the importance ofthis lifestyle to support your
greater life.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
If we go back.
By the way, I love that becauseI love basketball.
I grew up in the household withbasketball and I love athletes
because also, the mindset ittakes, the work it takes to get
into that flow state andaccomplish something mind
blowing.
Going back to what you said,look at the yamas and the
(24:03):
niyamas.
We talked about those in otherepisodes.
Those are the first two limbsof yoga.
And one of them says how am Iimpacting the world?
Well, my friend, when you'relate for class and there's 10
people already in class andwe're already dropped in and
trying to calm down and you comein, my friend, you just
impacted the whole.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Yeah, and everyone begins to accommodate you and
you feel like it's your rightbecause you paid.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
I don't even know what people think.
But I'll tell you this much Iknow what I think as a teacher.
No, I feel as a teacher, I feelstartled and I feel left brain.
So now I'm in my left brainlike, okay, let's get Sally late
set up.
Hey, you move over.
You move over Now.
That person that was therefirst, meditating, eyes closed,
(24:52):
has to move because Sally waslate and now everyone is back,
limbic or stressed or more alertthan we want them to be, cause
we're trying to get people to gofrom out, out, out, in, in, in,
(25:13):
in.
And it is important to look atyour behavior and your
relationship with the world,because when you start to go
deeper into these limbs and yousit with yourself, my friends,
the first person you meet isyourself.
(25:35):
Joseph Campbell talks so muchabout the myth of the heroes
journey and we'll have a wholeepisode on this, but you can
Google him and he talks aboutthe heroes journey.
Heroes journeys pretty muchwhen everything in your life
changes in an instant.
Well, as you start to navigatethis newness let's say
(26:00):
meditation is new you close youreyes, it's uncertain, you drop
in.
The first thing you meet is you, and I got to tell you I didn't
like me.
That's why I didn't want tomeditate.
For years I was doing things torun away from myself.
And now, over these years, I'vebuilt a capacity to sit with
(26:24):
myself, even when I feeldiscussed, even when I feel
hatred, even when I feel sick.
For two hours, and I find that90 minutes in all, of this
dissolves and for the last 30minutes I am floating in this
deep.
It feels pink, it feels warm,it feels so peaceful that I
(26:47):
don't even know if I existanymore.
And there were times where, inthe beginning, that freaked me
out.
I was like oh my God, where amI?
I'm going to die.
I felt like I was going to die.
And now, after I've only beenmeditating two hours, 60 days or
70 days, I'm not sure.
(27:09):
So it's extended that long,only 70 days.
But even this morning I woke upand I said to Dan I'm going to
sleep in and he goes good, good,let yourself rest Within five
minutes.
I was sitting up meditatingbecause meditation was waiting
for me.
It was waiting for me.
(27:30):
It's now part of my life.
But I just want to go back againand say, if I didn't understand
my, how I thought and how Iworked, I wouldn't be able to
sit still with that person.
It's like sitting with an oldfriend.
So meditation is, yes, it'sabout the mind, but remember all
(27:53):
the stories, all the memories,all those things.
They're there.
So, yeah, my friends listening,no wonder why some of you don't
want to meditate right Honorthat be with that and then say I
want to meet myself.
I want to meet myself and inanother episode we have where I
(28:16):
share.
I had brain surgery.
Brain surgery was a wake upthat I wasn't living life fully,
I wasn't going in andexperiencing it.
And meditation, when I startedmeditating after, I said I want
to meet life raw and I want tosee clearly.
(28:39):
Meditation prepares us to seeclearly.
So first we have to learn toconcentrate.
I'm going to stick with thisand I'm going to stay with that,
I'm not going to waiver.
And then eventually thatbecomes so uninterrupted that
we're meditating and, yeah,thoughts may be there, but we
(29:03):
come back and the amount of timethat we leave gets less and
less and less.
And then, underneath therumbling and underneath the
noise, there's this pond.
I don't know why I think ofwater.
It's a pond that's so still andso peaceful that I just sit
there and I receive nourishmentof the quiet and the peace that
(29:31):
lives there.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
Yeah, I can only imagine that the contrast from
that peace and stillness, thequiet, the calm, the absence of
urgency to the way we have tomake life in our material world,
the whole other half of life,is just probably pretty powerful
(30:10):
.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
When I come out of meditation, I'm now extending my
meditation into my life.
Meditation has not become mylife yet and I'm being honest
with you all because I reallydon't want you fooled that, oh,
you're meditating, you're abetter person, or I'm meditating
(30:33):
and I know God, or the universe, or I can manifest more.
Whatever you believe in, I wantyou to know that the way the
brain works, it has to feel safeabout the very thing that
you're doing.
If there is not that alignment,if there's a misalignment,
(30:55):
you'll be fighting it and youwon't be able to expand it into
your world.
Meditation is now so safe thatwhen I get out and I start my
day, I'm thinking Joe, are yourushing?
Joe, you're already eatingdinner and it's 9am.
Do you see what I'm getting at?
(31:16):
We want to skip these stages.
There's actually stages ingoing deeper and making the
system of yoga a lifestyle.
It just doesn't happen and welive in a society of instant
gratification.
Oh, I'm a yogi.
Okay, I don't even know whatthat means.
You're a yogi.
(31:37):
I'm not a yogi.
I'm just a person who studiedthese tools to live a better
life because I was suffering.
I didn't learn these to sharewith you.
It's just happening organically, because I work with people who
suffer, and we suffer becauseof the stories that were created
(32:01):
to help keep us alive and tohelp us function in our lives.
Now, the only way that we cansee clearly that those aren't
true is if we slow down enoughand make space enough.
My friends, that's calledwitnessing.
I'm sure you've heard thisconcept.
(32:23):
We want to witness our thoughts.
Witnessing happens in theprefrontal cortex, so witnessing
happens in the front of yourbrain.
Stress happens in the middle ofyour brain, so we want to get
out of stress and move all theblood flow and the oxygen to the
front of the brain to wake upand say, whoa, I just created a
(32:46):
soap opera, and you know what doI mean by that.
Let's say, someone didn't textyou back.
You texted someone.
You didn't hear from them.
You now have created a trilogyon what has happened.
Oh, they're mad because I saidthat I didn't like their toenail
(33:06):
polish, or their upset becauseJohnny was with Sally.
You create all these storiesand meanwhile, most of the time,
I missed the text messages.
So if we don't slow down enoughand get enough space, we start
to live those stories, and thosestories create increased blood
(33:28):
pressure, increased heart rate,lack of digestion, yeah
contraction, contraction.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Any stress in any category, whether it's emotional
stress, a deadline, physicalstress it causes the body to
contract and we need spacewithin the body for wellness.
That's, you know, in body work.
Essentially, you know what arewe looking for?
We're looking for a blockage.
Well, why are we looking for ablockage?
Because a blockage decreasesflow of any kind.
(34:00):
So you know, I mean,essentially, we want to live,
even if it's a stressful moment.
We want to live and be relaxedin the moment, to maximize our
potential of being.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Yeah, we want to relax and breathe, be in the
moment with what is to maximizeour potential or to maximize the
moment.
Wow, Dan, Meditation it's not athing, it's a living, it's a
(34:38):
living organism.
Meditation.
And before you try to meditate,you got to get to know it, Know
if you're afraid of it, knowyour thoughts about it, know the
stories you created, and thenback out of it and say how can I
do this to meet myself?
Speaker 1 (34:58):
So if it was something that somebody aspires
to want to plug into their lifewhatever couple of things real
quickly that they should plug in, including safety, creating a
safe environment, and just acouple of things, Joe, that
you'd want someone to know,they've got to plug in before
they can even start to considerthis.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Okay, as we are wrapping up, I'm going to share
just one or two things for you,and we'll have more episodes
diving into how tos.
But first and foremost, I wouldsay do it in bed.
Make it as easy as you can foryourself.
(35:39):
My timer goes off, I sit up andI slide back against the bed.
Do it where you feel the mostsafe and do it as soon as you
get up.
And here's the big one Set thetimer for three minutes.
It's still for three minutes.
Just sit for three minutes.
Awesome.
Yeah, meditation isn't going tobring you transcendence or into
(36:05):
this altered state.
It's going to bring you intoyour heart.
It's going to bring you insideso that you can see clearly.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
And recognize the greatest gift that you have here
is you.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
Become one living and tools for modern living.
I just love that.
It's so fun to me.
It's awesome.
If you have questions orsuggestions for a topic that Dan
and I know anything about, ofcourse, you can email us at
become one living at gmailcom,and you can follow us at become
(36:43):
one living.
Thank you for listening andbeing part of this conversation.
May we all have the courage andthe tenacity to meet ourselves.
Thank you, my friends.
And we're back again for another episode of Become
One Living.
I'm Dan.
This is my wife, Jo.
Hi she's a forever yoga person.
A forever yoga, I mean justforever.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I feel.
I want to feel like I came outof the womb wanting yoga, but I
don't know if that's true.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Well, you've certainly done enough work to
get us all the way to a placewhere we can at least have a
conversation about the dhyana,one of the limbs of yoga, one of
the more down the road limbs ofyoga.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yes, become one living.
It's a podcast where we shareancient tools for modern living.
How can you apply the yogictools, the tools of the system
of yoga, in your life now, inthe world we live in, not go
(01:17):
live in a cave and meditate andshut down everything?
So we have been talking aboutin past episodes the eight limbs
of yoga, which create thesystem of yoga.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
And include tools like, say, breath, say movement,
tools that can create a pathwayor a journey or a lifestyle
that supports being in the worldin a way that is healthy.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
And self mastery or self leadership.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Realization.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yes, these tools, these limbs say are you looking
at how you engage in the world?
Who are you in the world?
Then?
The second one is how are youwith yourself?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
And everyone listening.
You're invited into thisconversation because I'm not
sitting here pretending that I'man authority, but my teachers
and the things that I've heardalong the way are that if you
want to be in the yoga community, you have to at least
understand that these things areout there.
Now Jodi, on the other hand, isreally pursued the tools
(02:40):
investigated, the tools used,many of the tools, so much so
that today you have a meditationpractice that's a couple hours
a day.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yes, my meditation practice is now two hours a day,
and that's actually what we'retalking about.
So the seventh limb of the limbpath.
Diana is actually when youstart to meditate.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Right and if you see the pathway there.
So the limb before DianaDharana is about concentrating.
If you can't home your abilityto concentrate for a periods of
time, then meditation is stilloff.
It's still a distant task ortool that you'll be able to
(03:31):
develop, but we all have, it'savailable to all of us.
It's just a matter of how doyou want to incorporate this or
do you have the desire toincorporate this in your life?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
And the skill set and the capacity.
When I hear Diana, I think do Ihave the capacity to be with
something wholeheartedly for acertain amount of time?
(04:05):
That is why we need to go backfor a moment to concentration is
when you choose something tofocus on.
And if you don't understandyour behavior, if you all
listening, don't understand whyyou do something or how you do
something and your actions areunconscious, automatic, like
(04:28):
getting in a car, we don't haveto think about how to drive
anymore.
Some of the habits that we doalong the way behavior wise,
they become unconscious.
We don't even know we're doingthem.
That's why we have toconcentrate on one thing and
choose that thing wisely andfocus all our attention into
(04:51):
that one thing, whether it be amantra, your breath, a candle,
something you're choosing.
Now you practice that.
Your mind will wander 999million times in the beginning
and you may feel you can't dothis.
How does anyone do this?
I'm no good at this.
(05:11):
No one's good at concentrating.
At first, the way our brain iswired is to be able to stay
alive.
So neurologically we're wiredto pick up multiple sensory at
multiple times.
Everything is coming in.
So concentration is saying holdup, hold up, I know you're here
(05:33):
, but I'm focusing on this andI'm going to stay with this, no
matter what.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
So Dorana is where I get stuck.
It's not where I get stuck, butit's my favorite limb, because
I've been able to accomplishthings in my life with.
What I attribute to is thediscipline to concentrate for
long periods of time on a task,so I have a certain affinity for
(06:08):
that one.
That limb concentration andconcentration is required, or is
that skill that precedes yourability to meditate?
So, again, the tools.
(06:30):
Like you want to shake out yourbody neurologically, you want
to shake out your body, you wantto move your body, you want to
get connected to your breath,you want to be able to
concentrate on things, and thisis all kind of like a pathway to
the more advanced, so to speak,abilities or tools.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yes, the most three limbs are considered mastery of
self, and that is becausethey're more subtle.
They're not.
They have nothing to do withthe outer world.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
They're subtle and they're powerful.
The recent thing I've comeacross is the harder it is for
you to sit, the deeper yourrealization.
So anyone that's listeningdon't write this off and pretend
like that oh I'll never do that, or it's just not useful, or I
can't make money doing that oranything like that.
It's like it's all available toall of us and it supports a
(07:23):
great way of life.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Can we pause one second?
Can you move in?
Because you keep moving backand it's echoing.
Oh, okay, so it's just me,because when you step back it
echoes.
So is that okay that it echoes?
Okay, so it's his not echoingwhen he goes back.
(08:00):
It's just I hear him echoingbecause he steps back.
It's not through.
You don't hear that, okay,sorry, damn.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
You'll tell him okay, that's great.
I think it's me with the michearing him.
Okay, okay.
(08:46):
Great, okay, I Was.
I Appreciate so much how muchyou've used Dharana and the
importance of that.
As you mentioned.
(09:07):
You get fixated on that, orthat's your one, because all
that it has offered you.
All the other limbs Lead you tothis place of drawing in and
drawing in, and I want to readyou something by Carl Jung.
Your vision will become clearOnly when you look into your
(09:34):
heart.
Who looks outside dreams, wholooks within awakes.
To me, dianna is about wakingup and moving inside, because
everything we need is here tosee clearly.
(09:57):
So what is the differencebetween these two limbs?
One is you're trying toconcentrate on one thing.
The Other is you can stay therefor long periods of time
uninterrupted.
That's meditation in the worldof the yoga sutras is Okay, I'm
(10:24):
focusing on this, and in thebeginning my mind's all over the
place.
Or I can't sit still, or Ican't do this, or this is here,
I'm thinking.
After a while, that object andyou Start to become one, and
your focus never leaves thatobject for a longer period of
time without interruption.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Can you talk a little bit about your experience with
the changes or the feelings orI'm not sure what the word is
what comes over your system whenyou're able to sit for long
periods of time in meditation?
I Don't mean because mostpeople it's just like I tried to
(11:08):
meditate, I tried to mean.
I mean you can hear that, yeah,any, any conversation that has
meditation in it is with a human, is Current day, right now.
It's like oh yeah, I tried todo that.
I did it for 30 days.
I did a 30 day challenge.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
And then you stopped right, but.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
But I feel like that there's a reason why that
happens and I because in my mindI feel like it's because you're
the human is not Understandingthat you need to do it long
enough until you feel whathappens.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Until you feel peace, until you feel love and grace.
Those are abstract to me, words.
They're very abstract, and Holdthis for a moment, dan, because
I want to share with you allthat Meditation one is different
(12:07):
to everyone.
I just want to say that I'mtalking about traditional yoga
meditation sitting still sittingin silence, and being with one
point, one thing, no matter whatIf you've experienced a lot of
stress, if you work in astressful environment example
(12:31):
nurses- Firemen, policeman yeah,policeman first responders and
even even corporate jobs high,high, high and and teachers now.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Yeah, stressful.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
If you have a lot of stress, if you're a caregiver,
let's say this if you lit, ifyou're alive right now and
you're inundated withinformation and the world is
very stressful, let's be real itwill be challenging for you to
sit still.
And If you've experiencedtrauma, sickness, illness, it's
(13:12):
gonna be even harder to sitstill.
Because for me, experiencingcomplex trauma since a child and
living in an environment with alot of uncertainty, I Never
understood why I could notmeditate until I realized I
didn't feel safe To slow down.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
So feel that feeling safety, the feeling of being
safe or safety, is almost aprerequisite or a requirement
for the human system.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Yes, I rarely Tell my students or my clients close
your eyes, sit still, don't move, meditate unless they've been
with me for months or years andI know their capacity to be with
their stuff.
If I'm just working with a newclient and they come in and they
have a lot of stuff to unpackin yoga therapy, I don't force
(14:12):
them to close their eyes.
I Don't force them to be stillbecause I don't know what
they've been through if they'renot sharing it and I don't know
what they're experiencing.
I Want to my friends listening.
Please hear this and telleveryone.
I want to normalize not beingable to meditate.
(14:35):
I want to normalize therepulsion to meditate, the fear
to meditate, the I don't need tomeditate.
I want to normalize that andthen let people know that, after
everything I've experienced inmy life, if I can sit still with
myself for two hours, anyonecan, and it's taken me 30 years
(15:02):
29 to 30 years of practicingyoga and to be able to sit still
.
Come back to well, first comeback to my body that I've tried
for many years to leave.
Meaning running from stuff,overdoing right, exercising,
(15:23):
watching TV, distracting.
So one is you got to come home,get embodied and then you have
to calm your nervous system,which took me years because I
was stuck on.
I was on my friends go time.
I was that person that when Iworked at a gym, I was a
(15:46):
bodybuilder Y'all can youbelieve that I bodybuilded, I
did mis-fitness competitions andwhen the owner of the gym I
worked at came to me and saidyou are going to teach
meditation, I laughed in herface.
I also used a box and I trainedwith a semi pro, a semi pro
(16:06):
golden glove boxer, and Iphysically wanted to hit her.
At the time I was a kidthinking do you know who I am?
I can't sit still, I'm afighter.
Now think of all this, theseideas we've created about
ourselves.
Then we go to yoga class andthe teacher wants us to sit
cross-legged, touch our thumband index finger and, ohm, what
(16:27):
the hell is that?
So, coming back, if we clearout everything foo-fooey about
meditation and we start to lookat neuroscience, the reason we
need stillness is because wehave to transcend the limiting
(16:48):
beliefs.
Not transcend life, not live inthe ethers, but go above the
idea of I can't sit still.
If you can't go above that orcome back to your breath, even
though it's there, you won't beable to get past these stories.
(17:09):
Or people say, the ego that hasbecome woven into the very
fabric that you are.
Our circumstances create us.
We have to uncreate ourselves.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah, and it's so great that the eight limbs you
know.
Just you're making me think.
Some of the words you're usingis that you just don't jump to
meditation.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
No, no, I mean I wouldn't suggest that, even
though that was suggested on meyears ago by my teacher.
I understand why, but theresources we now know weren't
available back then.
I mean, you're talking 30 yearsago.
They weren't talking abouttrauma then.
(18:01):
Everywhere is trauma now trauma, informed trauma, this trauma,
that and I don't even just meanbig T, little T, just chronic
stress and Instagram andFacebook and inundation of
information.
I recommend slowing down, maybestarting with turning off your
TV.
(18:21):
Maybe start with not listeningto the radio in the car.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Shutting down electronics after a certain hour
.
Yeah, I suggest.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Slowly, in the everyday world that you function
in, you start to alter it there, and at first years ago, dan, I
stopped listening to the radio.
That's what I first started andthen I stopped.
I don't have TV.
We don't have a TV.
That doesn't mean we don'twatch movies here and there, but
(18:55):
we don't have a physical TV andI haven't had one for 20 years,
and Dan and I are together 13.
So he hasn't, we haven't hadone in 13 years.
So I suggest, start with those.
And if my mom's listening tothis, I love you, mom, but we go
visit my mother and she is 77.
(19:15):
She turns on the TV when me andDan walk in.
I'm like, hello, judy, that'smy mom, that's my mom's name.
I'm like yo, jude, we're hereto talk with you.
And she's like, yeah, I'm like,well, turn down the TV, why,
right, yeah, but that's what I'msaying.
It's not, I'm not sayinganything about her, but that
(19:36):
would be the first thing for herto do, dan would be just turn
off the TV and the music once ina while.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
And then over time we can start to slow down.
But the one thing you said Iwant to come back to I had to
learn safety or I had to come toknow that I never had felt safe
in my life.
(20:05):
That concept of slowing downwas so foreign growing up.
It was if I wasn't doinganything, I was a loser, or I
wasn't good enough or I had tokeep producing.
So that concept of slowing downenough to be still felt like
what if they get me?
What if something happens?
I know it may sound weird toyou all listening and you may
(20:30):
have a different experienceabout that, but what I'm sharing
is the more we slow down,neurologically we're more
susceptible to danger andprimordial.
We're wired to stay alive.
So think about itNeurologically we're wired to
stay alive, to be on alert.
(20:51):
I'm asking you to slow down inthe middle of a yoga room, let's
say, and close your eyes in aroom filled with 5, 10, 15, 20,
30 people.
That is dangerous to ournervous system.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Yeah, and cultivating that as a yoga teacher or a
studio, let's say, yoga asanahas become such a business and
everyone sort of just presumesthat well, concentrating in
meditation and all that.
I actually don't even know whatpeople think about that,
because it's so asana driven,but the business world almost
(21:35):
gets in the way where it's like.
I would love to come back tounderstanding, the understanding
of why a yoga studio would lockthe door so that when this
class begins, the people who arepresent can feel like it will
be uninterrupted, that they'resafe, that it's calm, that the
unit is together.
Because you know, seven minutesinto a class, when somebody
(21:58):
comes rushing into the door, itchanges.
It's almost like knocking overthe bowling pins.
It totally destroys what'sstarting to happen.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
You just shared upon trauma informed management.
In a yoga room People say I'mvery strict If you're late you
ain't coming in Y'all.
If you want to come take myclass in Jersey, or if we're
traveling, I'd love to see you.
If you're not on time, you'renot coming in.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
And don't ask for a refund, because that's actually
part of your learning.
That's part of your learning.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
If you want to participate, don't even do it.
You're not getting back.
You signed up for this.
Be on time.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Yeah, that's part of the yoga I was telling somebody,
it's like okay, tell me aboutthe basics of a basketball game.
Okay, you got five guys on thecourt on each team.
Each has a coach.
There's a boundary line.
If the ball goes out of theboundary, then the ball goes to
the other team and blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah.
And those are the rules, andthey're like okay, okay, and I
(23:03):
said now, there was this timewhen Michael Jordan approached
Kobe Bryant and said you mightbe able to wear my shoes, but
you'll never be able to fill myshoes.
Now, is that in the book ofrules of the NBA basketball?
(23:24):
No, but that's part of the game.
So showing up on time beforethe door locks is part of the
game, of your learning, oflearning that there's other
things, that the importance ofthis lifestyle to support your
greater life.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
If we go back.
By the way, I love that becauseI love basketball.
I grew up in the household withbasketball and I love athletes
because also, the mindset ittakes, the work it takes to get
into that flow state andaccomplish something mind
blowing.
Going back to what you said,look at the yamas and the
(24:03):
niyamas.
We talked about those in otherepisodes.
Those are the first two limbsof yoga.
And one of them says how am Iimpacting the world?
Well, my friend, when you'relate for class and there's 10
people already in class andwe're already dropped in and
trying to calm down and you comein, my friend, you just
impacted the whole.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Yeah, and everyone begins to accommodate you and
you feel like it's your rightbecause you paid.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
I don't even know what people think.
But I'll tell you this much Iknow what I think as a teacher.
No, I feel as a teacher, I feelstartled and I feel left brain.
So now I'm in my left brainlike, okay, let's get Sally late
set up.
Hey, you move over.
You move over Now.
That person that was therefirst, meditating, eyes closed,
(24:52):
has to move because Sally waslate and now everyone is back,
limbic or stressed or more alertthan we want them to be, cause
we're trying to get people to gofrom out, out, out, in, in, in,
(25:13):
in.
And it is important to look atyour behavior and your
relationship with the world,because when you start to go
deeper into these limbs and yousit with yourself, my friends,
the first person you meet isyourself.
(25:35):
Joseph Campbell talks so muchabout the myth of the heroes
journey and we'll have a wholeepisode on this, but you can
Google him and he talks aboutthe heroes journey.
Heroes journeys pretty muchwhen everything in your life
changes in an instant.
Well, as you start to navigatethis newness let's say
(26:00):
meditation is new you close youreyes, it's uncertain, you drop
in.
The first thing you meet is you, and I got to tell you I didn't
like me.
That's why I didn't want tomeditate.
For years I was doing things torun away from myself.
And now, over these years, I'vebuilt a capacity to sit with
(26:24):
myself, even when I feeldiscussed, even when I feel
hatred, even when I feel sick.
For two hours, and I find that90 minutes in all, of this
dissolves and for the last 30minutes I am floating in this
deep.
It feels pink, it feels warm,it feels so peaceful that I
(26:47):
don't even know if I existanymore.
And there were times where, inthe beginning, that freaked me
out.
I was like oh my God, where amI?
I'm going to die.
I felt like I was going to die.
And now, after I've only beenmeditating two hours, 60 days or
70 days, I'm not sure.
(27:09):
So it's extended that long,only 70 days.
But even this morning I woke upand I said to Dan I'm going to
sleep in and he goes good, good,let yourself rest Within five
minutes.
I was sitting up meditatingbecause meditation was waiting
for me.
It was waiting for me.
(27:30):
It's now part of my life.
But I just want to go back againand say, if I didn't understand
my, how I thought and how Iworked, I wouldn't be able to
sit still with that person.
It's like sitting with an oldfriend.
So meditation is, yes, it'sabout the mind, but remember all
(27:53):
the stories, all the memories,all those things.
They're there.
So, yeah, my friends listening,no wonder why some of you don't
want to meditate right Honorthat be with that and then say I
want to meet myself.
I want to meet myself and inanother episode we have where I
(28:16):
share.
I had brain surgery.
Brain surgery was a wake upthat I wasn't living life fully,
I wasn't going in andexperiencing it.
And meditation, when I startedmeditating after, I said I want
to meet life raw and I want tosee clearly.
(28:39):
Meditation prepares us to seeclearly.
So first we have to learn toconcentrate.
I'm going to stick with thisand I'm going to stay with that,
I'm not going to waiver.
And then eventually thatbecomes so uninterrupted that
we're meditating and, yeah,thoughts may be there, but we
(29:03):
come back and the amount of timethat we leave gets less and
less and less.
And then, underneath therumbling and underneath the
noise, there's this pond.
I don't know why I think ofwater.
It's a pond that's so still andso peaceful that I just sit
there and I receive nourishmentof the quiet and the peace that
(29:31):
lives there.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
Yeah, I can only imagine that the contrast from
that peace and stillness, thequiet, the calm, the absence of
urgency to the way we have tomake life in our material world,
the whole other half of life,is just probably pretty powerful
(30:10):
.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
When I come out of meditation, I'm now extending my
meditation into my life.
Meditation has not become mylife yet and I'm being honest
with you all because I reallydon't want you fooled that, oh,
you're meditating, you're abetter person, or I'm meditating
(30:33):
and I know God, or the universe, or I can manifest more.
Whatever you believe in, I wantyou to know that the way the
brain works, it has to feel safeabout the very thing that
you're doing.
If there is not that alignment,if there's a misalignment,
(30:55):
you'll be fighting it and youwon't be able to expand it into
your world.
Meditation is now so safe thatwhen I get out and I start my
day, I'm thinking Joe, are yourushing?
Joe, you're already eatingdinner and it's 9am.
Do you see what I'm getting at?
(31:16):
We want to skip these stages.
There's actually stages ingoing deeper and making the
system of yoga a lifestyle.
It just doesn't happen and welive in a society of instant
gratification.
Oh, I'm a yogi.
Okay, I don't even know whatthat means.
You're a yogi.
(31:37):
I'm not a yogi.
I'm just a person who studiedthese tools to live a better
life because I was suffering.
I didn't learn these to sharewith you.
It's just happening organically, because I work with people who
suffer, and we suffer becauseof the stories that were created
(32:01):
to help keep us alive and tohelp us function in our lives.
Now, the only way that we cansee clearly that those aren't
true is if we slow down enoughand make space enough.
My friends, that's calledwitnessing.
I'm sure you've heard thisconcept.
(32:23):
We want to witness our thoughts.
Witnessing happens in theprefrontal cortex, so witnessing
happens in the front of yourbrain.
Stress happens in the middle ofyour brain, so we want to get
out of stress and move all theblood flow and the oxygen to the
front of the brain to wake upand say, whoa, I just created a
(32:46):
soap opera, and you know what doI mean by that.
Let's say, someone didn't textyou back.
You texted someone.
You didn't hear from them.
You now have created a trilogyon what has happened.
Oh, they're mad because I saidthat I didn't like their toenail
(33:06):
polish, or their upset becauseJohnny was with Sally.
You create all these storiesand meanwhile, most of the time,
I missed the text messages.
So if we don't slow down enoughand get enough space, we start
to live those stories, and thosestories create increased blood
(33:28):
pressure, increased heart rate,lack of digestion, yeah
contraction, contraction.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Any stress in any category, whether it's emotional
stress, a deadline, physicalstress it causes the body to
contract and we need spacewithin the body for wellness.
That's, you know, in body work.
Essentially, you know what arewe looking for?
We're looking for a blockage.
Well, why are we looking for ablockage?
Because a blockage decreasesflow of any kind.
(34:00):
So you know, I mean,essentially, we want to live,
even if it's a stressful moment.
We want to live and be relaxedin the moment, to maximize our
potential of being.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Yeah, we want to relax and breathe, be in the
moment with what is to maximizeour potential or to maximize the
moment.
Wow, Dan, Meditation it's not athing, it's a living, it's a
(34:38):
living organism.
Meditation.
And before you try to meditate,you got to get to know it, Know
if you're afraid of it, knowyour thoughts about it, know the
stories you created, and thenback out of it and say how can I
do this to meet myself?
Speaker 1 (34:58):
So if it was something that somebody aspires
to want to plug into their lifewhatever couple of things real
quickly that they should plug in, including safety, creating a
safe environment, and just acouple of things, Joe, that
you'd want someone to know,they've got to plug in before
they can even start to considerthis.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Okay, as we are wrapping up, I'm going to share
just one or two things for you,and we'll have more episodes
diving into how tos.
But first and foremost, I wouldsay do it in bed.
Make it as easy as you can foryourself.
(35:39):
My timer goes off, I sit up andI slide back against the bed.
Do it where you feel the mostsafe and do it as soon as you
get up.
And here's the big one Set thetimer for three minutes.
It's still for three minutes.
Just sit for three minutes.
Awesome.
Yeah, meditation isn't going tobring you transcendence or into
(36:05):
this altered state.
It's going to bring you intoyour heart.
It's going to bring you insideso that you can see clearly.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
And recognize the greatest gift that you have here
is you.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
Become one living and tools for modern living.
I just love that.
It's so fun to me.
It's awesome.
If you have questions orsuggestions for a topic that Dan
and I know anything about, ofcourse, you can email us at
become one living at gmailcom,and you can follow us at become
(36:43):
one living.
Thank you for listening andbeing part of this conversation.
May we all have the courage andthe tenacity to meet ourselves.
Thank you, my friends.
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