Money Talks with Mike DeGroat: Unpacking Finance & Fatherhood

Join me on the first episode of The Teevee Show Podcast in 2024 where we dive into the intersection of fatherhood, personal development, and the crucial role of finances in our lives.

In this episode, we sit down with financial advisor Mike De Groat for a candid conversation about money, mentorship, and the power of delayed gratification.

Whether you're managing a budget or planning for the future, this chat is packed with insights that can make a real impact.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I feel like it's somethingthat we should talk
about more openly.
So I'll start with this questionWhy the hell is this
so hard to talk?
Well, that's an easy question topick.
One thingthat I've noticed to be
commonly true is money is deeplytied to our values

(00:21):
and our historyas a person and the way
we spend our moneyor save or invest or whatever
we do with it is the embodimentof the things we value the most.
When our when our outgoexceeds our income, our upkeep
will be our downfall every time.
But oftenwhen it comes to money,
the emotional only leddecision is the wrong one.

(00:43):
And this has been proven overand over
with studies and studiesthat much of money
is counter emotive,counterintuitive.
It's counter emotive.
What we feel like we should dois the wrong thing.
You know, I think another reasonthat money is challenging is
in specifically Americansetting and culture.
We are very badas a culture at deferred

(01:04):
gratification.
We want what we want.
Now, if you offeredan American, hey, would you like
a cookie todayor two cookies tomorrow,
the American just says,it sounds like
there's three cookies.
Give them all three right now.
All right.
Sound like you're sayingAmerican Society
or a bunch of we're.
That's what I'm hearing.
Hello, everyone, and welcometo the Teevee Show Podcast.
My name is Teevee, and todaymy lovely guest is the one

(01:27):
and only Mike de Groat.
Say hi to the people Mike.
Good to be here.
Thanks.
Thank you for joining me.
We've been workingon this podcast for a while.
He is a financial advisor.
I actually met himover ten years ago,
which is crazyat a networking group
that has becomekind of my networking homebase,

(01:47):
established networking,and we'll probably talk
about networking as a wholeand the value of it and
why everyone should be doingsome of it,
even if you have a job.
That's whatI've come to conclude.
If you have a job and you'renot necessarily trying to
get a job, it's so good tobe out there mingling.
However, the topic oftoday's conversation is

(02:08):
a handful, two or three mainlyfor one.
We're definitely goingto talk about fatherhood.
We I talk a lotabout fatherhood,
personal developmenton this podcast
because I feel likeif you become
a better human being,becoming a better father
is like automatic becauselike better human being,
better father magic.
But the core topicthat we wanted to talk about

(02:30):
and I wanted to bring him onfor is finance.
He is a financialadvisor and being that money is
so important and it issomething that is woven
into every part of our societyand it can make or break
some families.
Yes, it does.
I feel like it's somethingthat we should talk

(02:51):
about more openly.
So I'll start with this questionWhy the hell is this so hard
to talk to money?
Well, that's an easyquestion to start with.
You know, it true it is.
Money is so integral to everypart of our lives.
And I think that this is whyI've been running a financial
advising practicenow for 15 years.

(03:12):
You did say you celebratedyour 50th anniversary and 50th
anniversary just this month.
And one thing that I'venoticed to be commonly true
is money is deeplytied to our values
and our history as a person.
So one of the questionsI often ask clients is
what was money like foryou growing up?

(03:33):
I remember that, yes,you ask me that.
I'm like, Ooh, this one.
This one'sa good question, right?
And so asking that questiontells me a whole lot about the
the perspective people havearound money.
And I thinkthat's partially where
it becomes hard to talk aboutwhere we talked in a society
where you don't talk aboutbut you don't
talk about religion and politicsin polite society.

(03:54):
You also don't talk about money.
And that's not one of the thingsthat said in that.
But we don't talk about it much.
And I'm actually concerned thatthat's actually
created a societythat's not very good at having
civil conversationsabout politics,
religion and money.
We can't talk aboutthose things.
We get angry and fightbecause we're never supposed
to talk about it because we'resupposed to.
So we do how right.
I think those are thingsthat should be talked about,
specifically the money one.

(04:15):
And I remember my very first dayas a financial adviser.
I had no ideawhat I was doing really.
I had just begun.
And so I had a series of mentorswho were helping me
learn how to do that.
And we were meetingwith a potential client.
And one of the veryfirst questions
that this mentor askedkind of on my behalf of this
spiritual client was, Sohow much money
do you make per year?
Like what your salary.

(04:36):
And I just remember thislike gulp moment
because it's like you can'tI can't ask people this.
You can't ask that question.
But yeah, I would weep.
And then it instantly clicked.
It's like, I just starteda career as a financial.
I have to ask this question.
This is normal,This just feels weird
and it is stillfeel, feel very weird.
So that leads me to this.

(04:57):
Fine.
We're not supposedto talk about it.
Well.
Well, we should.
Yeah, we haven't.
I was raised that way.
Sure, but why not in the family?
Like, why not insideof the family?
Maybe you don't talk about it.
You don't want tobe the show off.
You don't want to feel poor.
You don't want tofeel like you're.
You're just showingyour money off
with stuff in money and whatnot.
But why not in the family sinceit is so important?

(05:20):
Well, that's interesting,because often I find
when I asked that question,what was money like for
you growing up?
One of the elements of that ishow much was it talked about
in your familywhen you were young?
And this is anecdotal.
This is just a sample sizeof my experience
and client base.
But what I have seenis those families,
those are now adults whowhen they were kids,

(05:42):
it was talked aboutin their family, regardless of
the situation, but it simplywas something
that was on the tablewithout shame or stigma.
Those people generally arewhat I found to be more
financially successfulthan those where it wasn't
talked about,those where it was.
And that's not talkedabout at all.
And Mom and Dad handled it,or dad or mom exclusively
handled all the finances.
They don't do as well generallybecause they haven't.

(06:05):
There's so much about moneythat is experiential.
And we learn by doing not justthinking about it
like you can read a textbook andand a lot of financial planning
work is truly just basic mathlike addition and subtraction
and multiply divide by 12.
Like that's pretty muchall of the basic math,
but that's really still hardto enact in life
because it's so tiedto our core values,

(06:27):
our emotions,our past experience.
I think it's greatand should be talked
about in families,but it often still isn't.
You know, it'sand it's unfortunate
because it is such a a threadthat is goes across
multiple contexts over our life.
You want to get married,you want to have a family,

(06:50):
you want to have a home,you want to like you want to
go to college, right?
You want to get an educationand start a business.
You want to retire eventually.
You want to carefor aging parents.
Like all of those thingstake money and to not talk about
it seems seem silly.
But given where we're at before,it is what it is.
You asked me that questionin the past.
Yeah, and I rememberhearing that

(07:11):
and thinking to myself it waswe never talked about it.
Well, we never talkedabout money.
Now I can hear thearguments about money.
yes.
So there were conversations,but you were not invited
to participatein those conversations,
correct? Yeah.
And the conversationswere more arguments
and they were actually,you know, hey, honey,

(07:34):
how about the billsor Hey, don't do that,
Don't do this.
And I took some classes on moneybecause I realized that this was
a major problem.
And I remember takinga workshop, and up until then,
I didn't realizethat you have beliefs
around money either.
Believe thatthere's you can get it

(07:55):
and there's a lot of it.
You can manage it or no,you can't talk about it,
you can't manage it, and you'rejust always going to be broke
and you're going to bealways chasing.
You're running in the rat raceand then learning that
the money beliefs.
Obviously, likemany other beliefs,
we inherit, we we adoptfrom our parents.
And sure enough,as I started to analyze

(08:16):
my own financials and my ownspending habits, I couldn't help
but realize that I was anice little hybrid
of both my parents.
I'd go through spurtswhere I'd say, That's my mom.
She was a saver.
She was a penny pincher.
She had to be she was the onethat got us through some
tough times.
And then there's my father.

(08:37):
He's like, Let's just get it.
Let's go.
Let's you know, I work hardfor a reason.
Like, like I just spend it.
So I'd go through thosevarious moments and at the end
of the day, I was brokebecause of the
conflicting beliefs,I believe. Sure.
But realizingthat there is beliefs
around money and that unless youintentionally start
thinking about it, you'reyou're going to be chasing

(09:01):
your tail perpetually.
You know, I think another reasonthat money is challenging is
in specifically Americansetting and culture.
We are very badas a culture at deferred
gratification.
We want what we want.
Now, if you offeredan American, hey, would you like
a cookie todayor two cookies tomorrow,
the American justsounds like there's
three cookies.
Give them all three right now.

(09:21):
All right.
I just want like, sounds likewe're talking about
three cookies.
Just give them all to meright now.
Sound like you're sayingAmerican Society
are a bunch of cookies.
We're hearing.
We're justreally impatient, Right?
We've got like apps nowwhere you can order stuff to be
delivered to youright away, sometimes
like 8 hours, sometimeslike if you're at the park
and you're like,I forgot a Frisbee,
you can order on an appand it just shows up
while you're still thereat a picnic, right?

(09:42):
We're just very now focused.
Have you done that?
Maybe that seems so specific,but that's fantastic day ever.
So it's justwe're just very like.
And the problem withthat is that money
is kind of like wine or cheese.
It is not worth something realuntil it has had time to age
and mature and grow.

(10:03):
And so money that isinvest is not invested,
doesn't have a future.
And the future takes a whileto get here.
Get here.
So we're just oftenjust very impatient
and we're veryfocused on, you know,
very focused on this week,maybe this month,
maybe the next.
Most Americansdo not have enough money

(10:24):
to cover a gap in employmentfor a time.
Right.
There's not a cash reservethat they've
built into their lives.
And that's really the very basicstarting place with good
financial planning.
I heard that.
And when because of that,it's like, that is me.
So when I did get to a pointwhere I like, if I get

(10:45):
completely firedfrom every client, I can
survive for three months.
Yeah.
At my current pace, that was myfirst indication
to internally, like I'm in a I'min a better place.
I'm not in the best.
I'm in a better place.
I've succeeded to some extentbecause five years ago
that I am part of thatstatistic is sure.
Unfortunate statistic is I justwasn't making enough and I was

(11:08):
spending too much.
That's always the problem'sthat's not unique to you.
When our when our outgo exceedsour income, our upkeep
will be our downfall every time.
Damn, that's a quotable ratherit is quotable.
I said that before.
I have said it before,but it's not original to me.
It just flows.
So what?
You said somethingthat reminded me of this thing.

(11:28):
I don't know if it'sso much a quote, but Ray Dalio.
Yeah, he has a videoon economics that yes,
I have seen that videojust like 15 or 20 minutes. Yes.
And he breaks it downthe economics and money
and the influx influx of money.
And it wasbeautifully illustrated as well.
And I just and also narrate it.
And one of the things he saidis that when you take on credit,

(11:51):
when you take on that kind ofwhen you take on credit, you're
essentially sayingmy future self will pay for this
plus a little moreplus interest rate.
So if you do that too much,then your future self
might cuss you out.
Now he does that.
I was thinking like your you'rehoping a lot
on your future self.
Yeah so like any if you takeway too much debt on

(12:13):
without really havinga clue as to
what you're doing nowyour future self is screwed
and I mean, I took on somedebt in my life,
but at the same time I knew thatI was doing things.
It was an investment.
It definitely was an investment.
However, that having thatmindset of my future self,
having to pay for thisto your point
of the money doesn't isn't worthit isn't worth anything

(12:34):
until the future.
Yeah, right.
Is that future isself is paying with the
with what may or may not be moreor less money than
you're bringing in today.
Something and something tothink about.
And I had to share that videowith my daughters.
One of my big goals,besides just educating myself,
is obviously teaching the girlsas soon as I could about money

(12:57):
because I need themto have that awareness
and intelligence around moneyas early as possible, as soon as
they can start adding basic mathaddition, subtraction, division
and dividing for 12.
And they can do that in secondand third grade.
So is important for methat I started sharing
anything that I came across.

(13:18):
And that video waswas so well explained.
I think it's one of those like,explain it like a fifth grader.
Yeah that well done Yeah it'sand it looks at
because I've seen the videodoes a great jobs too
of looking at the specificallythe American economics system
and how it worksat a big macro level.
And there's a lot of valuein that too
because you're we're all a pieceof that individually.

(13:40):
But then also looking atand then realizing
how do we managemoney for ourselves,
for our family,for our household.
But personally, that's a it's abig question
that is deeply rooted with ourwithin our values.
It's kind oflike an iceberg, right?
So most of ourmotivations around
money are below the surfaceand things people can't see.

(14:00):
And how we spend our moneyis the tip of the iceberg.
That's the actionpeople can see, Right?
And so you see someone elsespend their money
and it's can be like, wow,why would they spend their money
that way?
Or why would they chooseto save their money
when they could have this?
Right now, all of those thingsmay look odd to you
because you're filtering itthrough your set of values
and motivations and purposesthat are under the surface,
but you can't see what's undertheir surface.
You just see the actions on top.

(14:21):
Got it.
That's that's a fantasticillustration.
I like that.
I had a question or I wantedto ask you about something
that you said to me in the past,and that says something
about moneyas it relates to values.
Yeah, right.
I'm trying to think ofhow you worded it, and maybe
you can rememberthe way we spend our money

(14:45):
is is a true reflection ofour values.
Like the manifestationof our values.
Yes.
Can you explain that to meand to the audience?
Yes.
That's what that's what happenswhen we put our money
down on something.
We're saying this is somethingthat I value.
I value this many dollars worth.
Money is actuallya measure of value.
It's an easy, exchangeable onebecause I suspect

(15:06):
in your business you don't takepayments in chickens
or tomatoes.
Right?
Right, right.
Yeah.
So we have an exchangeableform of value and the way
we spend our moneyor save or invest or
whatever we do with itis the embodiment of the things
we value the most.
So when somebody says, Hey,I really care
about family, familyis the number one thing,

(15:26):
but they don't spendany of their time or money
with thatwith or on their family,
that it's actually just a thingthey don't
actually believe. Right?
You can seewhat people truly value
by where they where their moneyactually flows.
And that's pretty interest.
So you think, okay, you get abudget worksheet or an expense
statement worksheet,which I get often
from my clients, like here'swhere their money's flowing.

(15:48):
I can quicklysee behind the numbers
their philosophy on whatthings are important to them.
Right.
And that's and it's notjust necessarily, clearly a boat
is important to them.
No, no, no.
It's not that.
It's there's something abouthaving a boat.
Maybe it's status,maybe it's relaxation.
Maybe it is time with family.
And that's the wholefamily activity.
Right.
But there's that's whatthey're spending their money

(16:08):
on, therefore.
Right.
And so those who are good saversand are really aggressively
saving for the future,they are people
who have a set of valuesof being willing
to defer gratification,which I think is a virtue.
And then they're there.
There's certain thingsthey care about,
but they also want to be ableto care about them
in the future.
And so that's why they that'swhy they save to me

(16:29):
when I heard that, like, whoa,yeah, of course, duh.
But I had never heard it wrappedin that context.
That makes perfect sensebecause you work, you put in
all these hoursto generate this income,
this revenue, and you say,Hey, I value my family,
but you take a solotrip to, I don't know, Spain

(16:51):
and leave the kidsat home like, yeah, you know,
and that's a far out example.
I just wanted to really driveacross the the the picture of
then it's really notyou're saying one thing
but doing another.
So money will reflect where youspend your money
or if it reflectstruly what you value.
Even if you thinkI value something else,
you can justlook at your money go,
I see what I.

(17:12):
I see what I seewhat I see today.
Yes.
Awesome.
Awesome.
What is your numberone book recommendation
when it comes to peopletrying to really start
to become more aware of money?
Because this I think, at surfacelevel was like,
well, money is money.
You work for it, you spend it.
What's the big deal?
Like?
There's nothing elseto really to know.
And you add itand you subtract it.
No, there's so much like there'sso much more.

(17:35):
So please do share.
Yeah.
My number onebook recommendation
has changed over time and I getthe newest like, this is the one
I really like right now.
Right nowI'm a big fan of a book
by Morgan Housel.
It's calledThe Psychology of Money,
and it's a few years out now,but it's pretty recent
and it is excellentfrom my perspective, because one
of the thingsI'm really focused on with money

(17:56):
is the behavior behind it,the psychology, the way you
think about it.
Often I'm talking withmy clients and I feel kind of
more like a a coachor a behavioral therapist, maybe
even like my goalis to help them behave
well around money,because that's
far more importantthan if I find the

(18:17):
best investmentthat maybe gets a 1%
higher return.
Yes, that willimpact their life.
And yes, that is good.
But if I canjust help them behave
slightly differently or avoida behavioral mistake
or take advantageof an opportunity that will move
the needle for them way, waymore than
a slightly higher returnin this investment versus that.

(18:40):
Because what we dowith our money is a life
long thingand it has a big impact.
So Psychology of Moneyby Morgan Housel It's
not really an advicebook specifically
saying, Hey, here'show you should do your money
and your life.
But he does talkpretty high level
about how money worksand how we think about it,
and he gives some prettyinteresting examples.
So Mike here is actuallymy daughter's mentor

(19:03):
and which is a beautiful thing.
Thank you for that.
For that gift.
Yes.
During her final semesterof high school,
we spent a lot of time together,which was wonderful.
It was really neat.
And she she came to me.
She's like, Dang,Mike recommended
that I read this bookand she handed it to me

(19:24):
like, I love this book.
I had read ita year or two before
and it reallyand I feel like I have a decent
understanding of money,but it opened up my eyes
to a handful of other things.
And like you said, it'sjust concept
as a psychological piecebecause ultimately
we're all psychological.
It's all in our brain.

(19:45):
Yes, this through the stories isour beliefs are all stories
in our head.
But understanding itand the way he wrote
is really simple to understand.
Very simple comprehend.
Yep.
One of the things thatthat I think he started
with this at the beginning thatthat really opened my eyes up
is the way you seemoney, spend money,
invest money.

(20:06):
And it's very experientialis what you may have gone
through in life.
Maybe the way a personin the seventies
raised in Mexico,my parents or maybe in
sixties, raised in Mexico,in that culture, during
that economy will betotally different than that
same personbeing raised there now.

(20:28):
Sure.
Yes.
So money's very culturally tied.
We learn a lot of itfrom a culture of our family,
but our family is influencedby the culture
around them. Right.
So, for example,here in the in the U.S.,
the baby boomer generationgenerally speaking.
Right.
This is going to be generalized.
But generallyspeaking, baby boomers
responded to theirparents generation who went

(20:49):
their parentswent through the well,
couple of world warsand the Depression.
So their parents were generallyvery tight with money,
Like I remember my grandfather,who was of that generation
washing aluminum foil.
So it could be reused.
Right.
And he would uselike the the deli meat
containers from the store.
He would reuse thoseas his Tupperware.
Right.
And so and they'duse the clothesline

(21:10):
instead of the dryerif it was a sunny day,
those kinds of things,even though they
had plenty of money.
And that's really typical of thegreatest generation,
those who went throughthe Depression in response
to that, the baby boomerskind of went the pendulum
very much the other way.
Generally speaking, babyboomers have been very
spend money on things.
And so we saw a significant boomin larger houses

(21:33):
and multiple carsand collections of stuff
and things.
And having a vacation homeand having stuff
was very prioritized.
And so now the next generationfor them is the
millennial generation mostly.
And they're just skipped me.
I know, but I get it.
It's the silentgeneration, right?
Which is, you know,that's the hope.
But yeah, here we are talking,But I know what you mean.

(21:55):
Yes, I'mgiving you a hard right.
So my size right then and now.
Actually, the biggestfinancially influential
generation in the U.S.
is the millennial generation.
Right?
So you're kind of getskipped altogether and what's
gotten it to heck.
So the the millennialgeneration largely has
said no money should be spenton experiences,
education, knowledge, travel,events, outings.

(22:18):
And so you can see this in thephenomenon of the US Mall.
This is my my opinion.
But malls didn't really existuntil baby boomers.
Baby boomers started creatingthese malls.
It was like the idea of like,what if instead of having to go
to all these different stores,you put them all together,
all together,We have them all here,
and then we're going towe're going to shove in
to the corner a food courtbecause you're going to be there

(22:40):
shopping so long, you're goingto get tired and hungry.
So we're going to put in thisreally cramped space
where you can comeand get a bunch of foods
that you can refuelto keep shopping.
And there's some video gamesand everything for your kids.
Go, let'sget a bunch of quarters.
Right. Okay.
And so thenthat is basically dying.
If you look at malls in America,most of them
are closed and gone.
There are a fewthat are making it, and the ones
that have made it have made thegenerational shift

(23:01):
and gone from, it's not aboutbaby boomers wanting to buy
stuff now.
It's about millennialswanting to have experiences.
So the ballsthat are still around
have converted from instead ofbeing hundreds of stores
and a littlebit of bitty food court,
now they arebunches of restaurants
like full on restaurantsand a movie theater
and maybe laser tagor something like that,
like an outdoor,a little park, even

(23:23):
an outdoor parkor an art exhibit or an indoor
or a courtyard.
The square.
Yeah, right.
And we'll alsohave a few stores,
but it's goingto be like eight stores
and 12 restaurantsand a movie theater.
It's an experienceand it's an experience.
And so those are the onesthat are surviving.
So here in Dallas, where we are,they have been
tearing down malls.
There's a few that they're nottearing down.

(23:45):
And most of the ones they aren'ttearing down are having this
more experiential approach.
It's just an exampleof how money
flows with generationand culture and values.
So up until then, I didn'treally get that.
I didn't I thoughtmoney is money.
You invest, you spend whatever,whatever, but that obviously
I can look at my own family.

(24:05):
I look at my parents.
They were raisedin the same generation,
but my mother was the moreresponsible one.
And to this dayshe saves, she saves.
She's tucked everythingaway in the pillows.
And because she had to and shehad four kids.
Yeah.
Were immigrants were were poor.
And as a study, you know,then my father
was spending everything.

(24:26):
So she's hiding.
She like she I walkin some time to my mom.
You know, you have $100.
You're like,what the heck is it?
But it was like tucked awayand it was the weirdest thing.
And then tryingto figure out, like,
why I don't.
And that makesno sense to me, like,
put it in the bank.
And then there'salso the mistrust of the banks

(24:47):
because who knows what happenedduring that time.
And so just the ideathat every person is like
has their ownworld of beliefs around
just the world,frankly, in life.
But as it as it relates to moneyand why it is so hard
to get them to understandsome concepts because like, no,
this is the way I've alwaysI watched the illusion
when I was a kid.
I did not watch the aluminum.

(25:08):
Yes.
And we also suffer froma basically a bias
of what's working,must continue to work.
And so the downside here isyou're like, well,
this has workedfor me for 40 years.
Great.
But there's a bigfinancial challenge that almost
everyone will face.
And it's retirement, right?
And retirementis optional on one hand.

(25:30):
Yes.
No hint? No.
And I'm a big believerthat everyone needs to save
for the minimum level of the nonoptional retirement,
which is at some pointyou're no longer able
to effectively work physicalage, etc.
is going to make itwhere you just can't
do what you did before.
And if you only keep doingwhat's always worked for you,

(25:52):
there may be a time where, nowI have to retire.
I have clients who have retirednot by choice, but just
they can't do it anymore.
And you've got to havethat minimum foundation set in
and then a lot of peoplealso have goals like,
I want to retire early.
I want to retire aheadof my peers.
Right?
That's even more of a challenge,that's more aggressive,
that takes more energyand effort and planning

(26:13):
and risk andand potentially risk.
Right. I would imagine.
And so just because somethingis like, well, this has worked
for me for 20 years, okay,But the time
between seven and 90is is 20 years.
And if you retire at 65, it'snow 25 years.
And if you want to livebeyond it, you might live you
live beyond that.
30 years of planningto have enough income.

(26:36):
You have to save upenough assets
to have enough incomeduring that time.
That is a very complicated,tall order with lots
of moving parts and taxesand investments, and it just is
a lot of pieces.
And so the concern is, well,this has worked for me so far,
but no one, you've haven'tyou've never tried
being retired before.

(26:56):
How about adapting a little bityour philosophy,
your approach, liketake some advice.
Let me advise you,what do you feel
is the or not the most?
But what what aresome of the challenges
when advising people?
What do you run into?
Often some of the big thingsthat we're trying to work on

(27:17):
are some ofthe challenges really do boil
down to behavior.
So my my goal is to helppeople make good choices
with their money regularly.
And it's not like I'm a magicianwho comes in and waves a wand
and everythinginstantly is like way
better, right?
It's like you would walk inwith a wizard hat.
Hello?
It's it's a slowprogress thing, right?
And so what happens typicallywhen I when I'm working

(27:39):
with a client and they're new,there's a flurry of activity
to get everything setup, get everything organized,
get as many things automatedas he possibly can
for their benefitso that it just happens
regularly.
They're saving regularly.
They don't think about itbecause if they think about it,
they might decide not to do it.
If they don't think about it,it just continues to
happen, right?
So we get everything all set upand then we enter
what I consider likethe kind of the plow
horse mode, right where we wantthe we just we need to make

(28:01):
a straight rowand plow a straight row.
And so we need the blinders onso we don't get distracted
and we need tojust look at the horizon
that's five,ten years away or more
and just make a straight.
And then so some clients go, my,we did so much at the beginning
and now we're just kind ofsitting here like,
Yes, I see looks, this isyou was born, this, this is
where it gets boring.
Yeah, right.

(28:22):
And then there arepunctuated moments
of flurries of activity.
When you decide to quit,your corporate job is start
your own business.
That's a big life moment.
You get married or divorced.
Those are big lifemoments around money.
Kids go to college.
It's a big one.
You decide to retireand you pull the trigger
on retirement.
Those are big momentswhere everything in
your life is kind of or you havea kid, right?
I did that recently.

(28:43):
Right? So.
So yeah.
So all those all those thingscan be big moments.
And in the in betweens, it'sabout having good habits
that you're just continuingto repeat over and over.
And the moreyou can automate it,
the less you have to like,you don't have to be the one
controlling it every monthto make sure you're making the
right choices.
I imagine that if you havesomeone else do it,

(29:05):
it becomes a littleless emotional or
the emotional componenthas to be there because we're
emotional creatures.
But yeah, because you'reyou're handing it
over to someone you more.
They're trying to Yes.
They plow that lane, right.
Because otherwise, for myself,if I don't have
someone else do it,I'm probably not.
And then on top of that,I don't have
the time to research and stay ontop of the market.

(29:27):
The idea of picking stocksand investments
and tax strategiesis like over the top to me.
Like, I mean, it's a full timejob for me.
So like, yeah, right.
I get it.
I'm a big believer that peopleshould have a I mean, I get it.
I'm biased here,but I'm a big believer
that people should havea financial advisor,
somebody who's helping themdo planning work

(29:47):
for several reasons.
And one of them is becauseas much as they
may care about you, they areemotionally distant,
disconnected from your money,and they can give you emotional.
Much like a therapist.
Yes, they can gettheir third party.
Yes.
And that can be helpful.
Right.
So when you when they say, hey,you should save $100

(30:09):
a month, $1,000 a month, $300a month into this
type of account,they're looking at it
very differently,more clinically than you are
when you're like, yes,but if I put if I put $300 there
every month, I can't.
You're thinking about whatyou can't have or what you can't
do, right?
Club membership.
Yeah.
New club. Right.
And that's emotionally valuableto you. Right.
And so they're they'remore disconnected.
And so having a third partythat can speak into the finances

(30:32):
of your life is super help.
I think everybodyshould have that
because they are disconnected.
And that allows themto see clearly because often
and this is really unfortunate,but often
when it comes to money,the emotionally led decision is
is the wrong one.
And this has been proven overand over
with studies and studiesthat much of money

(30:54):
is counter emotive.
It's not counterintuitive.
It's counter emotive.
Like that's what we feel likewe should do is the wrong thing
because feelings don't.
I have this kind of belief likefeelings are real
and they matter.
But this type of thing, likeif you feel like you're losing
too much money, you might pullbefore like

(31:17):
mathematic, ethically speakingor historically speaking.
Because historically speaking,the stock market has
increased for the last,who knows, like through the
entire history.
Yes, right.
Yes.
But if you're in a dipand you're losing your butt off
in that moment,it feels horrible.
It does.
So you want to pull emotionallybecause it's horrible.

(31:39):
And I think back to the book,he says something like
those ups and downs.
Yes, those are the taxesyou're paying to play
in the game, though.
That's the thethe emotional tax.
Yes. Yes.
Emotional taxing.
That's a partof the game. It is.
And you have to calculatethat in you're going
to have downs.
You're going to have some upsif you play in the game
long enough and you canhave some downs.

(32:00):
So taking thatin, I love the way he said is
it it's a tax.
It's the taxof playing this game
and trying to buildwealth through the stock market.
I wanted to bring this upbecause somebody else
has shared this.
And now that I I'm investedand doing things more in
the stock market,they describe the stock market
essentially and investin the stock market as a whole

(32:22):
as just thisbig emotional machine,
because at the endof the day, everyone's
most people are makingemotional decisions.
And today, I don't knowif someone might tweet
about something which willemotionally impact,
you know, 100,000,200,000 people that may
follow that particularI'm thinking of. Yes.
I'm trying to think of well,there was a there was a specific

(32:44):
investment strategythat was started
a few years back.
There was a very influentialAmerican who would
occasionally tweetand sometimes mention
companies in tweets.
Yes.
And so there was a fundthat was created
specifically to justwatch those tweets
and buy things that thethat were praised in the tweet
and sell things that were said.
You know, this probablywon't do well.

(33:04):
And all they were playing onbasically was not necessarily
whether the tweetswere accurate, but because it
didn't matter, because it wasthe impact.
If other people believedthe tweets were accurate
and then they wentto the marketplace
and bought or soldbased on those tweets,
it would move the pricesof those things.
And so there was a fundset up that for a while
was simply tracking, not doingall the complicated

(33:24):
fund analysisthat is normally done,
but just trackingwhat are the tweets and buying
or selling based on thoseas fast as possible to try to be
ahead of the mass that might befollowing along.
Right.
Very interesting ideabecause like that is
a purely emotionally based orinfluence based, non-conscious
quantitative right.

(33:45):
There's no analytics going on.
And that was veryinteresting idea.
Wow.
But given thatthere is going to be
say that individualhas a million followers.
Yeah, that seem to thinkthat he's a credible individual
in this investment space.
Yes, he influences100,000 trades.
I Mettler 10,000.
Heck, I'm sure theit's going to influence a bunch
of other people'semotional states

(34:06):
and get them to aspire.
So that is.
But knowing that checks meYeah, knowing that
like just don'teven think about it.
Don't even look.
Generally speaking, the hot,the hot trade, the
exciting thing. Yeah.
By the time the by the timeyou hear about it, right.
By the time somebody who'snot engaged
daily with the markets,by the time

(34:26):
that something you know,you hear, I just heard that X,
y, z stock is likethe coolest thing.
Most of the time it's too late.
By the time you hear about it,you're going to
be buying it from peoplewho have been with it
for a while,who knew about it before
it was popular.
They've nowmade a bunch of money
and they're willing to sell itto you for the price
that you think it's now worthso they can get out
and make their money.

(34:47):
Right now, that's not to bepessimistic and that's
not always the case.
But generally speaking, I knowthis is how I feel.
Generally when a client comesinto my office and says, Hey,
I just heard about this thing,can you tell me about it?
Even if I've never heardabout this thing, I already know
it's probably running its courseand it's on the end
of its life, right?

(35:07):
Or at least for this cycle,not the beginning.
I said, Good.
No, guys, you got topay attention.
If you read it in a blog post,if you saw it on CNBC.
Is what's interesting aboutthe media is that
more than one of themis going to pick it up.
So chances are CNBCand whoever else you're getting
your information from,it's going to be, well,

(35:29):
these massive,massive investment firms
that trade billionsor trillions of dollars.
They've got super fast systems,computers, analysts
because they're goingto make a trade
of millions or billionsof dollars in fractions
of a second.
In fact, for a while, this is afascinating piece
of history to tell.
Okay.
So the New York Stock Exchangebecame increasingly

(35:52):
digitized and tradesstill happen on the floor.
They used to all happenon the floor.
The people that it wasangry around and you see them.
I was wondering about thisbecause I've watched billions.
Yeah.
And yeah, likehow do they do it?
Like they there's anybodythere anymore, Right?
So most of the trades used toI mean, all the trades
used to happen in personthat way.
Now it's a very smallfraction is still happening
that way.
Most it's just computer servers.

(36:13):
Okay so this isa little bit technical,
but the speedof data through a wire
line is capped,The speed is influenced
by how long the cord is so big.
Trading firms were spendinglots of money to be able to get
their server bankscloser to the New York
Stock Exchange Server hub.

(36:33):
Right, Because ifthey were closer,
they could havea millisecond advantage
on others because their serveris closer and the way
the New York Stock Exchangecomputer systems
were built originally,they didn't they didn't
round off time.
Time was just likefractions of a second
would go infinitely.
So if you're a millionthof a second faster
than somebody else,you get the trade.

(36:55):
So companies were puttingtremendous effort
into having theirservers closer.
So now with the New York StockExchange, does is they actually
brought all servers in-house.
And so you basically rentserver space
and all servers in thein the New York Stock
Exchange roomhave the same length of cable
connecting themto the main mainframe
regardless of how closethey physically are.
So everybody has likea 200 foot cable.

(37:16):
Some of them are likethree feet away from it
and they've got 200 feetjust piled up there.
So their air.
So there's no now advantageby being a millisecond
of data time closer.
And those are the guysthat we're competing with.
It's just regular, right?
So that means likeif you're driving on your car
and you hear somethingon the radio that this could be
a really coolinvestment, like, right,
I'll think about it.
And you think about on the restof your drive, you get home,
you look it up and you Google itand go, Yeah,

(37:36):
okay, I'll do that.
And you buy that, that's fine.
But you're justyou're nowhere near
on the real time datathat matters for these big,
massive traders.
You're just not goingto be able to beat them
at that. Wow.
Thank you for that.
We just geeked outand I love yeah,
that went really, really big.
But I think it's necessaryto just check each

(37:59):
check ourselves if youif you decide
to jump in the game, whichI think we all should,
to really have our money startworking for us, even
small scale.
But I wanted to transitionto mentorship.
We touched on this earlierand you mentioned my daughter
and I can't thank you enough.
She loved hanging out with you.

(38:19):
She loved the conversations.
She tends to be on thegeeky side as well.
So it went really well.
What was your impression?
How did how did that go?
It was it was wonderful.
I have a heart for mentoringhigh school,
college aged studentsand people.
So she reached outand said, Hey, would you

(38:40):
would you consider mentoring me?
I want to learn moreabout the world of finance
and learn more aboutpersonal finance.
I might want to be a financialadvisor someday.
Could we spend time together?
And so we set up a processwhere we were meeting
pretty much oncea week at my office and talking
through some of these concepts.
She was alsogetting to see like,
what does a day in the lifeof an actual financial advisor
look like?

(39:01):
It's not what it looks likemaybe in the movies.
And so what is it really likekind people throughout?
Right?
We don't do that.
I do.
I don't do that.
Yeah, you're no fun.
So we get to spenda bunch of time together
for that whole semester.
And it was it was phenomenal onebecause and you know
this alreadyand she knows this too,

(39:21):
but your daughter ispretty special.
She's extremely intelligent.
She's come through many thingsthat has given her
a lot of maturity.
And so it was just phenomenalto get to spend time with her.
But also I enjoyedgetting to see how the
next generationlearning like what
an advisor of the futurewill be thinking about and how

(39:43):
they'll be advising clients.
And so that'sthat was excellent.
And I, I enjoyedthe mentorship process with her
so much that I went to theteacher of her program.
She told meI was hoping you could.
Yeah.
So after after finishingbecause she's,
you know, graduatein high school and then she's
now off in college,you know, how do I do?
So I toldthe teacher has a, Hey,
if you have anybody else,because that mentorship program

(40:05):
is part of the curriculum.
They do it from time to time.
So I said,if you have anybody else
that specificallyinterested in finance,
I just keep my name.
I'd love to considerbeing a mentor.
Again, I think your daughtermaybe spoiled me on
like how thishow good it can be.
I don't knowif it'll always be that.
I don't know.
But I like.
I really enjoyedthe opportunity spirit.
I appreciate it.

(40:26):
I feel likeI've done a decent job
of giving her enough informationaround it.
But in the finance,on the financial side
and knowing the intricacies andI can speak on that
and obviously is also a great sothank you.
She she, she did makea good grade.
I enjoyed when yougave her the book.
I pulled my my Kindle outand I started rereading it

(40:48):
because I wanted to be ableto talk about
those concepts again.
Yeah, I can't help but feel thatno matter how it
how it works out, I feel likeshe will stay
in the financial space,just having that information
further ingrained like soas she starts to become it.
She is an adult now.
As she starts to mature,build a family, find a job,

(41:08):
pick a career,find a city to live in.
I think she saysshe's definitely
moving back to Dallasat the moment.
Great plan.
You know, things change.
I told her that many times.
I was like,Well, not many times,
but enough times.
Like, hey, if if you decideyou don't want to do finance,
that's okay.
But you can break your heart.
You know, it's like that's finebecause things change for
especially at that age,right in college, like you

(41:29):
learn a lot of things.
You go, wow, I really likeI like this more
than I thought I would.
But just the ideamentorship as a whole
is relatively new to me.
It's not somethingthat I remember
hearing about at allwhen I was a kid.
I didn't start hearing about ittill I started getting into
training trainingsand learning different
things around what is a homebuying, flipping and getting

(41:52):
to marketing.
It's likeit's actually a service.
People buy mentorship,but the idea
of mentorship as it'sI think, initially
conceptualized, it'sit's the idea of someone
advising someonecoaching, essentially.
Right.
And I heard a story recentlythat really it was around.
Give me a moment.
This guy wastalking about Jay-Z,

(42:14):
and Jay-Z was a part of a boardand trying to make an impact
in the inner city.
And the boardwas trying to come up
with programs to help peoplekind of like
just the certain typesof programs
that were going to help,but ultimately
kind of like watchingpeople like, hey, we're going
to have a program to watch.
You to monitor them,to make sure

(42:34):
that they're doing well.
And something that he saidand this just happened
last week, he challengedhim and said very few people
get better by being watched.
What we need more is mentorship,mentoring programs
that are set up to actuallyhave them speak to someone
that is in their spacethat they want to get into.
That may look like.
And it's somethingthat apparently

(42:56):
based on the story that thisindividual shared,
I can't think ofthe name right now really
rocked to me like, wow,we never thought about it
in that framework.
And I think it's it's somethingthat's overlooked.
We I'm tryingto do a better job.
I'll bring on people that areinterested in what I do
or just interestedeven in fatherhood.
They're like, how did youhow were you able to raise

(43:16):
such great kids?
I'm like, Yeah, that's notrocket science, but I'll be
happy to talk.
You people don't wantto do marketing
if they're younger.
Now, if you're older,you're going to pay me.
That's enough.
But a younger tryingto really like I'm open
to those types of thingsbecause I don't think there's
enough of that,especially in the inner
city, in the in in the hoodwhere I grew up.

(43:40):
So the idea is somethingthat I think we need
to push further along.
And I just can't helpbut feel grateful that you took
a time out of your day.
Well, I wouldn't have made itto year one, my first year
anniversaryas a financial advisor
if I hadn't had peoplewho were mentoring me
and helping show me the ropes.
I would have never made it.

(44:00):
Want what mentorship isimportant to me
because I wouldn't have made itthrough my first year
as a financial advisorwithout having somebody
who was mentoring me.
And I actually hada couple of people,
but some stand outspecifically in my mind
that helped me learn the ropesof the career, learn the ropes
of the industry, get connectedwith Dallas.
Because I actuallymoved to Dallas,

(44:20):
I didn't know anybody.
It wasn't probably very smart.
I started my career in 2008,which if you remember
market history, that was areal bad time.
I started my business in 2000.
Okay, so we're not very smart.
So I decided to as an eight, I'mgoing to be a financial advisor.
So I started in October of 2008,which was the like the weeks
basically everything fell apartand I moved to a city that I

(44:41):
didn't know anybody inand said, I'm going to,
I'm going to.
So, you know, if I knew nowwhat I knew then,
I wouldn't have done itbecause it was dumb.
But I didn't know it was dumband that it was stupid.
So I just did it anyway.
And I'm kind of like,Yeah, it worked.
I'm glad it did.
But I'm very thankfulfor the mentorship that I had
to make that happen.
That's where a lot ofthe credit is due.

(45:01):
And so I amintentional as a person
to to mentor others.
So your daughter is an example,but I'm always trying
to have somebody that I'mmentoring or helping
develop along.
That's important to me.
Thank you for that.
It means itmeans the world to me.
Well, I want to live in abetter future.
And a better future is builtby better people.
So I can't I can send themon a hit, like I can help
build world changersso that I get to live in a world

(45:22):
that they've built.
Yeah, right.
I like what you said,though, around I like what
the future holds like andthat was a great compliment,
not just for her, but I feltI couldn't help but feel
a little of that compliment.
Like, yeah, she's, she'san indication of what's possible
in the future.
And that generation,like if we have more people
thinking like that,these children,
then maybe this will be okay.
It's going to be great.
It's going to be okay.

(45:42):
Yeah, right.
Question What got you intobeing a financial advisor?
What was the impetusbehind that?
Okay, so led with that.
But like, wait,I didn't ask you that.
Yeah.
So here's, here's myy little bit of my story too.
I grew up as a missionary kid.
My parents are full cardcarrying support, raising

(46:03):
missionaries overseas.
So I actually spent some time.
Yeah, I actually spent some timegrowing up overseas.
And so that really infused mewith the heart
of a social worker.
But money and numbershave always made sense to me.
Yeah, I was hard tobeat as a kid at Monopoly.

(46:23):
And so I've always hadkind of the
mind of an entrepreneur.
And so I was lookingfor a career choice.
I really wanted somethingthat would allow me
to use the heartof a social worker with the mind
of an entrepreneur.
And our culture saysthose things are kind of at odds
with each other, right?
Like you can be.
You can be likemy mother Theresa if you want.
Or you can be, you can be like alike Elon Musk,

(46:45):
but you can't like there's nota good fit of both
of those in one person.
And I wanted to tryto figure out a good way
to combine those.
And so for me,financial planning
work has solved that becauseit allows me to use
a gifts and talent of workingwith money and numbers
and the math side of thatto make a difference and help in
people's lives.
And so that's whyI do what I do.

(47:07):
And that's kind ofwhat led me in to that.
So I had a in college, I studiedbusiness specifically,
but I was also very involved insocial programs and
ministry stuff at all.
So I just always been tryingto synthesize
those things together in life.
It's been a lifelong questof trying to put
those things togetherand financial planning helps.

(47:28):
How would you feel you've donethat like now, Was it 13 for 15
years? Yeah.
And blending those two,I feel like
I made some mistakes,some on the way, right?
I feel like not all ofthe stories are success stories
that I'm like, I guessthat's how it should always be.
But I feel like in a lot of waysI've made some of those impacts

(47:48):
and I'm reallyexcited about that.
So I feel like it isit is working.
I had someone recentlymentioned to me
that I'm very involvedin the community and they said
they noticed thatand they're thankful
that and a good that's somethingI've been quietly ish
working toward.
And so I feel like I've achievedthat based on their compliment.
A metro at EastDallas Networking.

(48:08):
Yes.
So I can attest to that.
Any time that there is an issueor a group and you're
a member of a couple of thenonprofits that you help,
you literally help.
And I believe you're likeone of the best speakers.
So you have a greatgift of speaking.
And the you actually to meare one of the best at doing

(48:29):
your 62nd commercial,getting concise,
getting it to the point,still having a good call
to action.
So that edited it,edited them like, wow, but well,
I try really hard on those.
Thank you.
You do like I've never seen youcompletely flub it.
you didn't.
You haven't been therethough, okay.
You've been there ninetimes that.
Okay.
But every time youyou'll stand up and like, Hey,

(48:53):
by the way, there's this thinggoing on.
Consider donating.
There's this, there's that, and.
And you're driving it.
You're not just talking,but you're
also a driver behind it.
So to that spirit of yours,the giving and the
social community work, you'refantastic about that.
And you're you and Jonathanare, to me, the best at it
and the ones thatwe're most driven.
And it's evident.

(49:14):
And I think because youare charismatic
individuals, peoplewould also like, of course.
Yeah, let's go.
You have enough peoplethat would do it that you'd pull
a great amount of peopleto actually donate time,
donate money,don't show up, whatever.
So let me ask you this questionthat I've been thinking about
starting a networking group.
Yes.
What are your thoughts on it?
let's go.
Okay.
So here's the idea.

(49:35):
And I've ever getthe name for it.
I don't know.
Maybe it exists already,but the idea is it's a
once a month networking groupcalled Net Serving, where people
get togetherand do a service project
and they get to networkshoulder to shoulder
while they're doinga service project once a month
in the community.
I just don't know if I havethe time to organize that
right now, but I've beenthinking about this for years.

(49:55):
Do you think thatidea would work Where you come,
you're going to doa service project
for one or 2 hours, maybe three,but you're going be
shoulder to shoulderwith people that you are
they collaboratingwith each other on this kind of
just like a bunchof business owners coming to a
maybe like like the WhiteCenter of Hope
and doing a volunteerproject there or helping plan
Thanksgiving meals to goout into the community

(50:16):
or doing a clean up day projectbecause I've done
some of those before,never like repetitively,
but I've done a few.
And there's always aninteresting element
of networking that happens therebeyond just the Who are you?
What do you do?
And here's whyyou should hire me.
Yeah, you do.
You get to learn,really know who they are
and what they represent.
Like you're spending your timeinvesting your time.
Yes, maybe not money, but timefor this project,

(50:37):
for this mission,for this nonprofit.
It says a lot aboutan individual. Yes.
So anyway,I've been thinking about
I just don't knowif I have the time and energy
to put something else.
Well, I think it has legsbecause you're not the only one.
Good.
Sure you should do it.
is that what you're doing?
But I know you canfind people is
going to be a challenge.
I'm sure.

(50:58):
But at the same time,you have enough
of a network and peoplethat have connected
with you over the last15 years, you know,
I've known you for probably 12.
I figured.
Yeah, I think that'sabout right.
Ten ish.
2011.
Yeah, I think that's right.
But you haveso many people that I,
I can't imagine.
It's easy for meto imagine a situation
where you can havea dozen people show up.

(51:19):
Yeah.
All right.
At first something.
Yes, but no, I'll passon the leadership role.
Right?
Yeah.
That was aninteresting pitch with
good leadership.
I thought maybe if I have you onon my exam camera, you have to.
Sorry.
I hear you guys.
I don't have timefor a lot of stuff.
Yeah, I understand.

(51:39):
I want to say congratulations.
Thank you.
You're a father.
I am.
I am.
So let's segway into that.
And since we do talka lot about parenting, to me,
money is a part of parenting,like, as I said earlier.
So that's why it's taken mea while to get here,
because it's like thisinformation is necessary
for everyone, butespecially if you're
a father or motheror a parent of any sort,

(52:00):
starting totake the steps towards
educating yourself so you caneducate your kids.
So congratulations.
Thank you.
How is he doing?
He's doing good.
He was born, as you know,six weeks early.
Kind of a surprise arrival.
Yes, It was also asurprise arrival
while the wife wasmy wife was out of town,
so she was traveling,approved travel.
This was very relaxingat a resort in Florida

(52:22):
for just a few days before thebaby showed up.
I was not with her.
She was with her parentswho don't live there.
They were traveling, too.
So I got asurprising phone call.
The the entire labor processwas like 90 minutes.
So it was really fast.
I wasn't there for it.
I thought, you know,I'll get on a plane,
I'll be there.
Labor can take hourslike, you know, 24 hours.
I'll be there. Fine.
I was there like six or 7hours later.

(52:43):
But he had he'd been born waybefore that.
He had it herehe is, four months old now
and we just had adoctor's appointment
the last week and he is gainingweight rapidly.
But because he's so early,he's like the size of a
two month old because he wassix weeks early.
So he so even thoughhe's four months old, he kind of
looks like a two month old,which is kind of cool
because it means he'sreally small and cuddly.

(53:05):
And it's it's it's wonderful.
I've been I've wanted toI've looked forward to the day
of having my own kids,having a son
for a long, long time.
And so I'm I'm pumped.
We haven't done a lotof work yet with him.
On budgeting and moneyand financial planning
already feeling.
Yeah, I know, but.
But there's hope.
Yeah.
Yeah, but extracouple of months.

(53:25):
I have some time.
Here's the scary thing though.
Somebody told me right beforehe was born,
they said by the timehe turns 12 75% of your time
with him will have already gone.
I heard that recently.
I heard that recently.
And now that my daughtersare 218, I believe that
that yeah.
And on top of that,I was divorced.
So it's likeI have even less time.

(53:46):
even less had 15 summers.
Yeah.
I wrote about this.
I had, I calculate 15 summersafter my divorce.
No shootings.
Yeah, 15.
Some shot to divorce.
And now I hardly talk to kids.
You're all grown and gone.
So, like, every minute you canthat you can squeeze is like.
That's why it's more urgent.
I heard a quote and said,and this is I tried.

(54:09):
I quit my jobto be home with them.
So I quit my joband started this
marketing thing.
Yeah.
And took this big, bold risk.
I can be home with them.
And I didn't have allthis information.
I just knew that Ithey are now my reason.
They are the reasonthat I will work there.
I mean, otherwise I could justhave a little
bitty job and make it.
But I neededto make more for you.

(54:31):
It might be a boring activity.
A mundane activity for themis their childhood, the mundane.
Everything's just like,Ooh, ah, ooh.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm only four monthsinto this, but I am still trying
to be very excitedand can't even talk and write.
But I'm still trying to besuper excited about the things
that make him excitedbecause the biggest
thing in his worldfor you is it?

(54:54):
Well, it's true,I am told, but I wish whatever
I want to be excited aboutthe biggest thing in his world,
whatever it is that's mundaneand routine to me, right?
Like, I just want to be excitedabout those things
and engaged with them.
And I'm looking forward to that.
I am looking forwardto hopefully
teaching him about moneyso that he can avoid

(55:14):
some of the challengesthat so many people face.
But most ofthat's theory, right?
I have it successfully traina kid around money,
but I know that there'ssome things that you can do
that are really helpfularound money.
And one of themjust just literally talk
about money like youwould anything
your family and helpyour family know.
Like so if you're at thecheckout counter and you know
your kids saying, hey,can I have one of these things?

(55:35):
It's like, you know, I wantone of the Butterfinger
bars is right there on displaythat's conveniently
within reach.
So out of the storesput it there because they
they get the kidsto work for you.
Yes.
So many times parents will say,no, you can't that
and then they'll make upa reason like you're
dinner is soon.
That's fine.
But if the real reason iswe can't afford that right now,
tell them thatbecause it's really good

(55:55):
for kids to learn.
I mean, this is theory, right?
But I believe it'sreally good for kids
to see modeledfrom their parents
deferred gratification.
We can't have that right now.
Maybe we can in the future.
And then oncethey're old enough,
let them start saving for iton their own.
Help them see that, Hey, if youwait in safe, you can buy
the things that you wantand then help them
start to learn about investment.

(56:15):
Some of the mostrewarding work that I do
with some of my clients is it'smultigenerational.
My client has invitedtheir children in
who have become clients,who have invited
their children in,who have become clients.
And so I'm working with threeor four generations
in the same family,and it's going to be
the same moneywhen great grandma passes away,

(56:37):
that money goes and it'sgoing to continue
to move, right?
And I'm going to continueto steward and watch over
that same money for themthrough three
or four generations.
And that's one of thethings that
I love doing the most,is that kind of thing I can say
it is possible.
I started early with the girls.

(56:58):
I would have started earlier,but I started earliest.
I'm about cash flow for kids.
If we start talking about money,I handed the money,
I would hand them in likeand actually give it to them
so they can manage it,so they can understand
that this money,this dollar, this $5,
once is gone, there is no more.
So you have to startmaking decisions and start

(57:18):
training themon the idea of decision
making and sacrificinglike instead of I think for me,
one of the biggest lessons wasand this is actually a topic
for one of my biggest momentswhere I had like the click
for both of them.
one Christmas we're broke.
But I had saved over like $100and I gave them each $50.
We went to the bankbecause I saved

(57:39):
a dollar, you know, they puta dollar into the savings.
So in the year I had a $100.
Yeah.
And I told them that I wasn'tgoing to buy them any gifts.
It was kind of like, no joke,you're not getting any gifts.
But when you come overthe day after Christmas, we're
going to go to the bank,do physical activity.
It's an experience.
We're going to withdraw $100.50for you and 50 for you.

(57:59):
And you can buywhatever you want.
We went to Target so excited.
They were so excited and fair.
The older one.
How old were they this time?
They must have beenseven and five.
Okay. All right. Okay.
That's a good ageanswer. Yeah. Okay.
And fair throws in this big bearand throws in this thing.
And then honest onthe big things,
like just chunking stuffbecause you can buy

(58:20):
anything, anything.
But once it's gone, it's gone.
So when they start learning,getting the math of it right,
they did this costfive, this course
ten, this course, 30where to go?
Sure.
The older one comes to me.
Just Dad, can we go to theart section?
I said, Yes,you can go to the art
section. Go and we'll get there.

(58:43):
she started looking around.
She's like, I can get brushesand I can get markers
and I can get them.
And she got like nine things.
There's a whole lot of things.
And I could still had to have$33 left.
Can we do it?
Can I put the stuff back?
Absolutely.
Then.
And I was like, Me too.
Because you just going toher sister does.

(59:04):
And but they walk out,they they bring it up
and they walk out withmore stuff because for them,
more stuff.
Her item Yeah.
One teddy bear versusYeah it was like I remember
like a bigger Yeah.
A 30 pack ofmarkers is 30 murder anymore.
So in thatmoment they understood not only
did I get stuff Iwant because we do

(59:24):
a lot of art as a familypaper brushes,
we go like the walk,probably a dozen things each.
And I still had 20 or $30 left.
And in that moment iswhen I think they got it like,
I have to make decisions.
Yes, Not because I thinkone of the my observations is
if you don'tdo something like that,
it doesn't have to be exactlylike that.

(59:44):
The child willjust ask, ask, ask.
And if the parent will be like,okay, fine, fine,
fine, fine, fine.
But then the child doesn't knowthat there is
there's an end to it.
Or at some point I have to sayno to you or like we are broke.
Right?
And the way I saw thisis at a Christmas party.
A child was furiouswhen the gifts ended.

(01:00:05):
And it's like,no, you already got like
20 things we can't keep.
But they don't understandthe concept that,
yes, some point there is anend is important.
And the other thing,the economic term for that
with the shoppingthat you just described
is a beautiful analogyof opportunity cost.
Yes.
Which is I can do A or B,but I can't do both
at the same time,which means sometimes

(01:00:26):
if I choose A, I cannever do B, correct.
Because it's only likethey're only limited right now.
Right.
We used to as a kid,this is real.
I learned this lesson real quickwith television.
It doesn't workthis way anymore.
Now, television, in fact.
I know whereyou're going with this.
I'm concerned about actually,we're not naturally
learning the language.
The lesson of opportunity cost.

(01:00:47):
Yeah, but as a kid, right?
If you want to watchcartoons, there's cartoons on
Channel eight is cartoonson Channel 11,
but they're on live right now.
And if you want to watchthis one, you can't
watch that one.
And it will never air.
And it's done.
That's it, right?
It's a one time.
And so you have to say,do I watch Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles or do I watchPower Rangers?
Because it's after that,it's done, it's gone.
And you can never see it again.

(01:01:07):
So we had a one at an early ageopportunity cost.
But now because everything'sstreaming, you can watch
any episodewhenever you want to.
And in other areaswe started to get rid of that
opportunity cost.
And I'm concerned about thatbecause money hasn't gotten rid
of opportunity cost.
You can only spend a dollarone time on one thing, right?
One of the lessonsI help teach clients
is that you can't doublecount money.

(01:01:29):
So if you're justcounting like, Hey, I'm building
general wealth now,I've got $1,000,000 saved up,
okay, But that milliondollars can
only be spent one time.
So if if that's $1,000,000for your retirement, good.
But you can't also say it'salso $1,000,000 for my kids
college and it's $1,000,000for the vacation home,
because you can't you can pickwhich of those three and you can
maybe spread it between them,but you can't use it

(01:01:51):
the same million,all of them, obviously.
Right.
That is an important lessonto learn.
The opportunity cost.
And the otherimportant one to learn
is the opportunity costof not saving.
As soon as you can startsaving and investing cause money
that isn't invested,doesn't have a future.
So the sooner you startinvesting it, the better,
because you cannever go back in time.
That's the opportunity that wewe have to figure out

(01:02:13):
how to stream them.
You can't go back in timeand do it again, right?
So if you son, if you chooseto spend that money on lunch out
today, you can't save itas well.
Right.
And so ifyou start thinking about
how much that adds up,specifically with the power
of compounding interest, it getsextremely expensive
to do some things.
Right now, lunch maybe costyou 30 bucks

(01:02:34):
to go out and eat lunch,but that same 30 bucks, had
it been investedby the time you're 80
is a whole bunch of money.
And so it's like when you're 80,would you really want to spend
$3,000 on a lunch?
No.
Well, that might bewhat that money's
going to be worth.
It's just an interesting wayto think about it.
That's beautiful.
It's beautiful.
I like to think that I dida good job with them both.

(01:02:56):
Both of them have good creditscores, by the way.
Both of them understand money.
I would give them money,give them allowance.
I give them a spreadsheet. Yes.
And then they have to.
I was their bank.
Yeah.
And then we put it inand then they tell me like,
hey, I need money.
I want to buy X, Y, Z.
But then they track itlike a little,
like documentationjust to make sure
everything's copaseticand trust them and whatnot.

(01:03:18):
But I try to do numerous things,just ingrain
the idea of keeping upwith your money.
Don't be afraid of lookingat your bank accounts
and understanding credit.
How does that work?
Why is it important?
It's essentially you're Ifeel like your
money report card.
Yeah.
The report card on how you onhow you manage money

(01:03:39):
and whether peoplewill give you money
in the future.
Yeah.
It's a measure of howtrustworthy you are.
It's it's a it's a reportcard on your trustworthiness.
Yeah.
So they both understand it.
And luckily,I also did some, some
some little tricksthat I saw online.
And like Faye,her first credit score
was like 780,I think, and as a 790.

(01:03:59):
And how they help you geta better credit score than me
because credit so the waycredit works, right,
is it doesn't start high.
And then if you messup, it gets goes down,
it starts lowbecause it's a measure
of trustworthiness.
And so they say, hey,we don't know who you are.
We don't trust you at all.
You have to build it up.
And so building it up is hardand there's some ways
you can help increase itand do that.
But it's it's a it'sa building process, not a well,

(01:04:21):
if I've never made any mistakes,it doesn't go down.
no, no.
You're an unknownIf you don't have and
your trustworthinessis like, we don't know.
You know, youand I know history.
Yes, right.
And so I've actuallya good portion of the clients
that I workwith are post-divorce.
And what has often been the caseI don't know why this happens,
but what is awesome in the casespecifically in

(01:04:43):
an older generationis one of the spouses.
Typically the wifein a relationship.
Has everything just been inher husband's name?
He just handed all the financesand now they've gotten divorced.
And so she's in her fiftiesand has no credit
history of any kind.
And maybe he's losing the housebecause of the divorce or a car
and he's to buy one and can'tbecause they go,

(01:05:05):
We don't know who you are.
Right.
And well, I'm 50 years old.
I've been doingfinances forever.
Like, well, we don't know.
It's always been init's always was
in your ex his name.
And so that's asurprisingly common.
It's becoming less common.
But as a thing, I'm gladthey both have credit.
They both I actually put themall as users.
Yeah.
On my cards.
So when they aged up, they bothnow inherited a history.

(01:05:28):
He inherited a history.
And my father was ableto get her own car
by her name withoutwithout a deposit even.
And without me involved.
Yes.
Like she can get an apartment.
She can like that was my goalbecause I, like you need
to be able to managethat by yourself.
I don't need to behanging around.
Yes.
But it involvesa lot of forethought
and realizing, like,where would I where did struggle

(01:05:50):
and where could I have usedsome assistance?
Obviously, knowing,understanding, credit,
I didn't know thatI knew credit,
but I didn't know.
No.
My mom tried to warn melike that.
And then I went andI lost my job.
I had to quit, actually,because I needed
I need to leave.
And in doing so,my income went from
just say, 100000 to 50.

(01:06:11):
But I was spending at 120.
So it's a it is unfortunate.
Any final thoughts,Mike, that you'd like to share
with the people?
Where can they find you?
Where if they wanted a contact.
Sure, Yeah.
Yep.
I run a financialplanning practice.
Every every advisor has a firmthat they either have created

(01:06:34):
or they run through.
I run throughAmeriprise Financial.
It's one of the largest,I think it is the largest
financial planning firm,or at least one of the
one of the top largest ones.
Been around for a long time.
So I run a practice thereso you can find me on
the Ameriprise Financial AdvisorSearch website.
You can reach mevia email and such.
I guess you can put that upin the show notes if you want.

(01:06:54):
Yep, I'm happy to.
I love talking about financeswith people and the ways
that they can engage with it.
I love mentoring peoplethrough it.
I think involvedin the community.
I think the big lesson isit is never too late to make
a good financial decisionabout your future.
So even if you'vemade past mistakes,
you can still make the futuresomewhat better by making a

(01:07:16):
good decision now, right, isthere's never a point
where it's like,Well, it's too late.
I've made so many mistakes,I can't make the future better.
You can always make it betterbecause you can choose
to control how much you delaygratification,
how much you send on tothe future.
Thank you so much.
I really enjoyedthe conversation.
I really appreciate it.
I'll make sure to leave allhis information

(01:07:37):
in the show notesif you're interested
to get in contact with them.
My my advice, my parental adviceas a man, as a father,
as a human is take careof your finances.
Don't bury your head in thein the sand and pretend like
just this snake that youcan't get better
or it gets betterif you don't look at it
and start start small.

(01:07:58):
Get a book.
The Psychology of Money.
Psychology of Money.
It really helpstart wrapping your head
around the psychology of money,because it is the psychology,
it is the the the mindsetsand the beliefs
that we have around it.
And we can do better.
And I thinkthe biggest one for me
is delayed gratification.
There's a lot of thingsthat we don't need.

(01:08:19):
Despite the marketing.
I'm a marketer.
I get I understand whatthey're doing.
Yeah, you're the one whotells everybody
they need everything right away.
Now.
Now I help attorneysgo get go get help,
you know, legal help.
But the marketersjust shove stuff down our face
that we need this new thing,that thing, that thing.
And we will believe itat some point
and want everything.

(01:08:39):
But it isdelaying gratification.
And a lot of times it's likenot even getting gratification
around things that we really donot need.
So that's not that's meon my high horse, but that's
one of my biggestlessons are things
that we shouldn't be buying.
Anyways.
My name is TV.
Thank you for tuning intothe TV show podcast.
I really appreciate you.
Make surelike subscribe, leave a
review, please, and until nexttime, have a great day, Tata.