August 23, 2025 • 36 mins
Dr. Dianne Olvera , an esteemed diplomat, educator, and brain researcher, elucidates the transformative power of effective communication in our latest discussion. With a wealth of experience spanning over four decades, she emphasizes the significance of understanding individual differences in language and culture as a means to foster deeper connections. Her insights are grounded in the conviction that employing targeted strategies can significantly enhance interpersonal relationships, allowing individuals to feel respected and valued. Dr. Olvera 's forthcoming book, "The Power of Understanding Individual Differences to Uplift and Empower," slated for release in spring 2025, reflects her commitment to empowering others through the art of communication. We invite you to explore these profound concepts and consider how they can enhance your own interactions and relationships.
Dr. Dianne Olvera, a multifaceted professional, shares her extensive insights into the realms of communication, leadership, and the intricacies of human connection in a thought-provoking discussion. With a career spanning over four decades, her unique experiences as a diplomat, educator, and researcher inform her perspectives on the significance of effective communication strategies in fostering interpersonal relationships. The conversation delves into the core principles that underpin her work, with a particular emphasis on the importance of understanding individual differences in communication styles and cultural contexts. Dr. Olvera’s forthcoming book, 'The Power of Understanding Individual Differences to Uplift and Empower,' seeks to empower readers with the tools necessary to navigate the complexities of human interaction, promoting a more inclusive and empathetic society.
Central to Dr. Olvera's philosophy is the maxim 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,' a principle she applies not only in her personal life but also in her professional endeavors. Her experiences as a diplomat underscore the importance of adapting communication styles to suit diverse audiences, thereby enhancing mutual understanding and respect. Throughout the dialogue, she provides practical strategies, such as her 'Ask, Don't Tell' approach, which encourages individuals to engage in meaningful dialogue rather than resorting to prescriptive communication. This method not only fosters self-esteem but also cultivates a sense of agency among individuals, empowering them to articulate their thoughts and feelings effectively.
Ultimately, this conversation with Dr. Olvera serves as a testament to the transformative power of effective communication. By embracing her insights and recommendations, we can begin to dismantle barriers that impede connection, paving the way for a future where empathy and understanding are at the forefront of our interactions. Her work is a clarion call for us all to reflect on our communication habits and strive for meaningful connections that uplift and empower those around us.
Takeaways:
- Dr. Dianne Olvera has a diverse background as a diplomat, educator, and brain researcher, which enriches her insights on communication.
- Her upcoming book emphasizes the importance of understanding individual differences to foster empowerment in interpersonal interactions.
- Effective communication strategies are grounded in the principles of empathy and active listening, which can transform relationships.
- The significance of adjusting communication styles according to cultural and individual contexts is critical for improving interpersonal connections.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:58):
My guest today is Dr. DianeOliveira. Over four decades, she
has worked as an internationaldiplomat, spy educator, professor,
brain researcher, andclinician. Her doctoral degrees in
bilingual special education.Language and cultural differences
are grounded in research andpractice, emphasizing the power of
(01:19):
connection. These proven andeffective strategies transform the
lives of everyone who employsthem. She is the author of Ask, Don't
Tell, Six Easy Steps toImprove Communication, Self Control,
and InterpersonalRelationships. Her upcoming book,
the Power of UnderstandingIndividual Differences to Uplift
(01:39):
and Empower, is scheduled forrelease in spring of 2025. She wants
to unleash the power of yourwords to transform lives, imagining
a profound impact you'll havewith every interaction, leaving others
feeling respected, confident,and valued in their abilities. Welcome,
Dr. Diane, to the podcast.Well, Doc, welcome to the podcast.
(02:03):
How you doing today?
I'm doing great. How are you doing?
I'm doing good. So good totalk to you, but looking forward
to this conversation for awhile. Love talking about leadership.
And so we'll have fundiscussing what you can show us and
our audience about leadership,especially about connection. But
before we jump into thattopic, give me the best piece of
advice you ever received.
(02:25):
Do unto others as you wouldlike others to do unto you.
It's a very biblical approach.
It's biblical, but, you know,it works. It's the fun. It's the
foundation of life.
Yeah. And how have you usedthat? And as you interact with people.
(02:47):
I know that I call it speechpatterns in the book without you
realizing we are actuallycreating the environment by our speech
patterns, but usually startsout as a joke. Oh, that's. You're
so silly. You're so stupid.Then you start forgetting. And then
(03:11):
everybody in the room startscalling that guy stupid or silly
or pointing to somethingstupid or silly that he did or is
not or is doing. And so it'scatchy. And so what I actually do
is I don't say anything. Ichange the speech pattern.
Okay.
And it's just. Dude, that isawesome. I didn't even think of that.
(03:35):
That's such a cool thing tosay, you know, or. No, that was brilliant.
Right?
I would have never thought ofthat. All of a sudden, everybody
starts catching the samewords, the same patterns.
Wow, that's interesting. Inever thought about that.
Change the whole dynamics.Yeah. Go home when your wife is in
(03:55):
a bad mood and just startflipping it around. And all of a
sudden she's gonna say, I love you.
I can't. Look, she can't hearthis podcast. And she'll get. She'll
know my secret.
Yeah, exactly.
I'M curious, can you think ofsome people in your life who served
as either a mentor for you ormaybe a source of inspiration?
(04:17):
I would say my husband. I methim in Argentina. It had a really
bad first marriage. And he wasAnglo, Argent, Anglo, Mexican, and
he served in the military. Hewas one of the first groups of Latinos
(04:38):
went into West Point. And hereally taught me how to live. He
taught me how to respect, hetaught me how to take care of myself.
Because I grew up in a familythat we weren't allowed to talk,
we weren't allowed to askquestions. I got soap in my mouth
(05:00):
behind my front teeth. Oh, my,my mother would find a nice juicy
bar of soap and she wouldslide it behind my front teeth and
I remembered her for the restof that day. Yeah. And if I didn't,
if I continued askingquestions and I would get whipped
with the belt or the, the, thewooden spoon or whatever. So I left
(05:22):
home without any strategies onhow to interact with people. And
so I became a stewardess, andI learned a lot that way. But then
when I met him and became adiplomat, you know, being married
to him, I really had to learnhow to work with people.
That's a fascinating story. Sotell us about that journey as a diplomat,
(05:48):
spy, educator, professor,brain researcher. Give us that journey,
that whole story, becausethat's a lot of different pieces
that led you to that fromwhere you started to, you know. That
background of learning tocommunicate when you were not allowed
to, I think is so critical forwhat you do today.
Oh, yeah, yeah. When I, whenwe were first married, I didn't have
(06:12):
a security clearance. And soone of the first persons I met was
a very high ranking dignitarywho was so sweet, fun sweet. I came
back and said, oh, I just lovethis guy. When I got my security
clearance, I found out thatthat lovely, sweet person was instrumental
(06:36):
in killing children and women.
Wow.
And to this day, I mean, it's,it's, it's just horrendous. These
are the, the grandmothers ofthe plaza, of the, the main street
and everything. So it, givenmy background from my parents and
(06:57):
then how this person wowed meover in minutes, I wanted to learn
what happens in the power ofconnection. And so after we finished
being diplomats in Argentina,we went to Mexico. Same thing happened.
I went back to, when we gotback to the States, I went back to
(07:20):
the university. I got my firstdoctorate in bilingual special education.
I realized that there was notadequacy in the way that we're teaching
our children of differentcolors. And so that really got me
mad. But when I tried to fightfor them, nobody listened to me.
So I went back and got anotherdoctorate. And then after that, after
(07:47):
I graduated, I was workingwith some students that had what
they call nonverbal learningdisability. I was teaching at Florida
Atlantic after that. And Iwent into the brain research center
and said, I can wanna. I wannado some brain research on these kids.
(08:07):
And they let me. So I did. Ijust wanted to know what's happening
in the brain. How do peopleact and react and then what can we
do differently to help thosebrains and those people change their
whole lives? And here I am,30, 40 years later. I can tell you
(08:28):
that my students still comeback. I have autistic neurodiverse.
They are now parents withtheir own children. They're married.
These are kids that are notsupposed to be. They supposed to
have like guardians? No,they're married and they're profitable.
They are heads of their owncompanies and they are wonderful.
(08:51):
If you, as you think aboutyour research. What about your research,
especially with the brain workthat was most surprising to you?
That's interesting. We hadcontrast groups, the non nonverbal,
which were the kids who wereperceptual. These are our football
players, these are our starbasketball players. But they're very
(09:13):
quiet and they don't talk. Orif they do talk, it's. Yeah, I don't
know, sure, whatever. But yousee them on the field and they are
amazing. It's almost like theyhave this special gift that they
can see somebody move beforethe person even begins to move. And
so that really intrigued me.So that's the non non verbal. And
(09:35):
then we have the non verbal,which means it's not in the verbal
side of the brain that has theissues. They were very verbal. So
we just had a little fingertap practice before they went in.
And then we asked them toreplicate that finger tap. Well,
what we found was when youdon't use internal speech, you know,
(09:59):
as if I was teaching you adance step. What are you saying?
You know, in your head? Okay,right foot, left foot, shuffle, you
know. And so the kids who hadnot talked to themselves had lighting
all over their brain. Theywere looking for, what do I do? But
when we pulled them out and wesaid, okay, here, use these numbers,
(10:21):
use your fingers. 1, 2, 3, 4.Use this pattern, say this pattern,
do this pattern. We put themback in within five minutes. We fixed
the brain. Come on. Literally.I mean, they had lighting in all
the right areas. So you seethis and you say there's got to be
something here. So sad to say.I do have a bad story, a sad story.
(10:46):
It was a family where theywere twins and boy and a girl. The
girl was very verbal and theguy was a great surfer. I mean, just
wonderful. And one day he andhis friends went out and were riding
motorbikes and they decidedthat they were going to turn off
the lights of the motorbikesin the nighttime and play chicken.
(11:10):
Wow.
He did not use self talk. Hedied. And the girl that was with
him almost died. You know, shegot very. She was very ill. And so
this really hurts my heartbecause I started working with them
too late. Had we knownearlier, I mean, to this day I still
(11:32):
think about, had we not workedwith this guy and his family earlier,
maybe we would have gotten himto be able to start thinking and
talking to themselves. This iswhat I think we need to do with all
these wonderful people thatare in sports.
Yeah.
Get them to become more communicative.
So you, you said, and I wantto go back a little bit. You said,
(11:54):
when you start working withsome of these kids who people had
kind of given up on, how didyou figure out or break through so
that they became productivemembers of society when they were
kind of. People had kind ofgiven up on their potential.
That's right. Well, Rhett, onething that really bothers me is when
(12:15):
you see a family and they havelike an autistic child, what do they
say to the child? I just wantyou to be happy.
Right.
The second child who has noproblems, do they ever say that to
him or her? No. And so stoptreating them differently. Treat
them as human beings. Thesepeople are brilliant. If you really
(12:37):
let that side of their brainshow and you start telling them how
brilliant they are in thoseareas, I don't tell them, oh, you're
wonderful. No, I just point itout. Hey, did you notice that you
solved that problem beforeanybody else? Hey, did you see that?
That color matches that, that,that border, then it really brings
(12:59):
out the. And highlights whatwe are trying to do. No, they did.
And so when they start seeingthemselves as a profitable, active
individual in society, that'swhat they do. They become it.
Wow, I love that. So let'stalk about your first book, Ask,
Don't Tell. And you kind offocus on improving communication
(13:21):
and self control. Kind ofshare some of the principles of that
book and then we'll get intoyour new book.
Sure. Well, that book isbasically the strategies that I used
working with people. And I, Ichose Ask don't tell because even
when you read parent magazinesor parent articles, what do they
(13:42):
say? Tell them, tell them.Stop it. No. So I always, so I say
flip it. So when somebody'shaving a problem, I ask them rather
than tell them what to do. Youknow you're really good at giving
advice to George. Tell me, ifI was George, what would you tell
(14:03):
me? What kind of advice wouldyou give me? And then these kids
just rule out with their owndecisions. And then it's like, yep,
okay, now take that and rollwith it dude, because this is it.
You are great at what you'redoing. And so they, you, when you
raise their self esteem, whenthey start to hear themselves talk
(14:24):
and they see that they do havethis power, they become more self
conscious of being do of whatthey're doing which is not bad because
it raises their self esteem.When they get their, when they start
to raise their self esteemthey have self confidence. When you
have self confidence you startusing it with other people. Then
(14:46):
when you use it with otherpeople, what do they do? They think
you're a leader. Little dothey know it was all trick.
Right? I love that. So tell usabout your new book, the Power of
Connection. And why is that so important?
Oh my goodness. Well, youknow, I, I wasn't going to write
another book and every time Iwould meet with someone new, they
(15:10):
would say to me, how do youknow me when you never met me? And
you know, teenagers would sayI was a witch. You know, it's like
dude, she's a witch. And so Ithought, well, what do I do? And
so then I just really startedlooking at first of all, we have
to open our awareness. AsAmericans. We're so busy, we don't
(15:31):
even look at each other whenwe talk. We, you know, you walk into
the room and say the kids,hey, pick up your shoes and you walk
away. Don't even look at them.And so that's the, the main thing
that I just, I said you can'tdo this.
I love that your book isbroken down in two sections. So you
(15:51):
have section one where youkind of talk about the different
phases but then you get intonot just phases, but then strategies.
I think strategy is soimportant because we can always talk
about connecting, we can talkabout communication, but oftentimes
it's like, yeah, but where doI start? So tell us a little bit
about how the book is brokenup and how you kind of laid it out
for people.
(16:13):
Right. I think what I missedin the first book is how do you know
somebody and how can youinteract with them unless you see
how they think? So mine isn'treally on, you know, how do they
use their words. My book isreally on how do you process information.
(16:34):
For example, imagine if youare bottom line guy, just give me
the bottom line, don't botherme with all these little details.
Then you're in an office withsomebody or married to somebody who's
very detailed, drive you crazybecause every detail has to be discussed
whenever you go out to dinneror out with friends. But then if
(16:58):
you understood how that personprocesses information, then it becomes
an asset. So I may want toredo the kitchen, but I'm a bottom
line guy. And so I say, well,I just want some nice colors and
I want some new, newappliances. But then my husband is
(17:22):
a detailed guy. So rather thandrive me crazy, I just say, and you're
so wonderful at all thedetails. Go for it. Now if you're
a boss and you have people inyour office that are probably inter
fighting and you see theindividual differences and you point
(17:42):
it out. You know, Harriet, youare so good at giving us just the
big picture and Mary Lou, youlove these details. So would you
guys mind coming together andmaking this concept really work for
us? Because we need somethingthat's full bodied. Now each of them
(18:06):
feels like they're appreciatedfor their uniqueness and then, then
they work and they, they dothings well. Then they start using
this with other people. Butthe good thing of this. Do you know
what happens in the brain?What our brain actually learns how
to use the other person's brain.
(18:27):
Ah, okay.
So you may always be thebottom line person, but when you're
working with people in yourcommunity, you will then be able
to pick out the differententities in your community and you
change your way you talk withthem based on the way their brain
handles the information.
(18:48):
I love that. We used to callthat, I know my, in my circles we
call it the painter and versusthe pointer. One person just pointing
to, you know, the details.Another person like, but I got to
paint you a picture of it first.
Yeah, right. But it works. Imean if you, if you really, you know,
would see that and you pointit out as their beauty, not as a
(19:11):
deficit. But the nice thingis, is once someone's self esteem
and self confidence is built,you can start talking about the negative
because they don't feel badlythat you're putting them down because
they know they're good at stuff.
Right. That makes a lot ofsense. Yeah. As you think about the
work that you did, especiallyin this book. So what are some of
(19:32):
the key elements thatcontribute to effective connection
between individuals?
Okay. Well, the first isawareness. I actually say, you know,
it used to be you could sit inthe mall and look at people right
now. I say, okay, look at themorning shows or the talk shows,
and then you can see thedifferences. But watch how people
(19:52):
use their eyes. The eyes arepowerful. You can use your eyes in
good ways. Or when I was adiplomat, I would use my eyes to
put people in their place.They're always trying to get information
from you. And so they'll.We'll take a woman aside and start
(20:16):
to be very comforting and warmand attentive. And then they start
asking questions. Well,sometimes the questions may be something
so simple as, does yourhusband always get drunk? Now, why
would you use that? You woulduse that later against them in political
(20:39):
ads or in issues that you wanthim to be quiet on. So I had to turn
my eyes directly to them, lookthem right in the eye, and say, we've
had enough. And then I walk away.
Wow, that's interesting.
(21:00):
And it's very powerful.
Did you notice that there aredifferent, effective ways to communicate
with different cultures ordifferent ethnic groups? I noticed
that. There's a book I can'tyou study years ago about how do
you connect? For example, ifyou were talking to someone who was
French versus someone who wasAmerican, you talked about, like,
(21:22):
for example, feedback.Feedback in France is different than
feedback in America,especially in a corporate setting.
So how did you discover howyou connect against cultural and
ethical lines or ethnic lines?
Yes. Well, I first learnedthat when the ambassador's wife in
(21:44):
one of the countries that weworked at wore cowboy outfits to
formal. Formal attire. Andsometimes the American diplomats
would get off the airplane andsay, oh, man, I can't wait to have
a burrito. And they're inArgentina. You don't have burritos
(22:06):
in Argentina. So. And when youlook at this in a classroom, this
is why I went for my seconddoctorate, I can't begin to tell
you how many ethnicallydifferent students from the majority
culture are placed in specialeducation and don't need to be there.
(22:33):
And it really does help toknow their culture so that when you're
working with them, you canunderstand the need for how they
live in their house. What istheir background like? What is their
family life like? If you knewthose things, you then appreciate
that child for who they areand what they can give to your classroom
(22:56):
or your society.
Wow, that's. That'sfascinating. I'm curious we talked
a little bit about nonverbalcommunication as we started this
out. How do you. How does thatimpact communication and connection
in our society? And a lot ofpeople deal with some of those nonverbal
cues. So how do we help peopleand make sure they feel included
(23:19):
in our culture?
There are some cultures thatyou're not supposed to look at them,
you know, like a child shouldnot look at an adult because it's
not respectful. But let's justsay we're dealing with the American
culture. If you had an officeand you wanted people to be more
(23:44):
communicative, you literallytell them, did you know that eye
contact actually connectsbrains? And it is brain power. So
that how you use your eyes isalso how you plan to present yourself
to individuals. It's reallyfunny. Craig Melvin on the Today
(24:08):
show, he is so sweet becauseafter he finishes an interview, and
let's say there's a whole,like three or four of them sitting
with an interview, he will.And they're walking away to go on
to another part of the set, heturns around, he looks right at that
person again and says, thankyou. Now that hit me right into my
(24:32):
soul, because this is thepower of communication. When I do,
when I'm checking out of asupermarket, my friends always say,
what is it you start getting.People start telling you all about
their background and theirlives and their kids and what a day
they had that day. And all Idid was look at them and say, hey,
(24:54):
what's up? How are you? Andthey're happy.
So for those of us who aren't,who haven't studied this and don't
know is, what did you do? Whatare some key things that we can do
and put into practice on adaily basis to be better at connecting
with people?
The first thing you have to dois listen. You know, what do we do
(25:17):
as soon as we hear somethingwe don't like, oh, no, no, no. But
you know, we've got to changethat. And you don't let the person
finish the sentence. So youjust took away their power. With
kids, as soon as they start tosay something and you're in a bad
mood or you feel like they'rebeing aggressive with you, what do
(25:39):
you do? That's enough, youngman. Sit down. And so if we don't
listen, they don't feel heard.If you don't feel heard, you don't
feel respected. So why would Ieven talk with you? Why would I even
be part of your. Your. Yourgroup? Why do I even want to work
here? Because nobody Cares.But when all you have to do is listen
(26:03):
to them, look at them, andthen respond, that was a, that was
an interesting idea. I'll takethat into consideration. That's it.
You don't have to spend a lotof time. You actually spend less
time using these strategiesthan you would if you had been using
what you normally do.
(26:25):
I have a lot of people on mypodcast who are educators. If you're
talking to the educators, theteachers in the room, what insights
do you have for them in theirenvironment to put this into practice?
From day one, and actually, Ihad 24 students from four different
languages, no aid, no books.And, and I used all these strategies.
(26:52):
And so from day one, you makethe rules together, and it doesn't
have to be anythingaggressive. And when you make it
together, they become part ofthe system. It's not top down. They
are now entities in thatsystem. And then all you have to
(27:13):
do after that, you know, atthe beginning, you have to reinforce,
you know, where do you putyour book bags? But then after you
do that, you just say, hey,where's your bag need to go? And
that's it. You know, if you'rea boss. Hey, where do those files
need to be at 9 tomorrow? Oh,on your desk. Hey, thanks. I appreciate
that. Cool. That's it. And youlook at them and you go, hey, I really
(27:36):
appreciate that. Thanks.There. They feel. Felt. I know people,
when they interview me, theysay, what does that mean? Is that
making sense? Like you feellike someone just gave you a hug
because they looked at you andthey made you real?
Yeah, it makes a lot of sense.So how is your book being received?
(28:02):
Great. Yeah. Everyone that hasbeen reading it. Matter of fact,
I got one review the other dayfrom a father who had a child that
had some disability. And Imean, it was almost as if I had asked
him to write it because it waslike, exactly what the book is about.
And I'm like, that's cool. Ididn't think that he would really
(28:24):
get the gist, but he. But theydid. Yeah. And it's. They're simple.
I mean, it's. I did not Writeit like Dr. O. You know, I really
wrote it. Like, you know, hereyou and I are sitting here talking
together. We're just yourfriends and having a cup of coffee.
That's it. And, and it makesit easier because all the stories
(28:46):
then back up how you would usethis in your personal life.
That's awesome. So I love toask my guests this question. What
do you want your legacy to.
Be I would love to have morepeople try this out. If you want
your life to be easier, morerelaxed and fun, and have your kids
(29:10):
grow up with self esteem, selfdiscipline, you don't work so hard.
Once you get this kind of inplace, you can kind of sit back and
enjoy the kids rather than getmad at them.
That's okay.
And they'll end up like you.Your top strengths.
Yeah, we've talked about thatbefore we came on. I. The whole strength
(29:35):
thing comes, of course, fromstrength finder. And I always like
to be aware of what I'm goodat and what I'm not good at because
you can spend so much of yourlife trying to improve things that
even if you improve yourweaknesses or just minor improvements,
whereas if you pour into yourstrengths, you're much more effective
and a lot less frustrated.
So. Well, please pass that onto every person that you meet. Because
(30:03):
business, they're telling methat they can't hire college students
or high school studentsbecause they don't have self awareness.
Right.
You know, and in parents, Imean, you keep doing everything for
your children. I know you doit out of love, but what are you
doing? You're babying them.And then when they get out into the
real world, they'll be likeme. They didn't have any strategies.
(30:26):
Right. And they don't havetime to go back and make a book like,
I mean, go back and take twodegrees again like you did.
Yeah, well, you know, I justdid it to fight for people because
I would get so mad that nobodylistened to me, you know, So I have
to, because I don't have oneof these aggressive characters. Maybe
I laugh too much. And so it'sreally hard to take me seriously.
(30:48):
So I just say, okay, researchsays there you go.
And I can back it up with allthese different sources. Yes, right.
That's right. I'm really aserious person.
Yeah.
One other thing is, whenyou're talking to somebody, especially
kids, don't ask them how youfeel. If they say, how do you feel?
(31:12):
It's like they feel like theyhave to. They have to know the exact
words to tell you. But if yousay, how does your brain feel? How
does your body feel right now?Oh, my goodness. You. It's almost
like opening a dam.
That's amazing. So I startedsomething new in season six of the
podcast, and it is thesurprise question that the guest
(31:36):
gets to pick. So pick a numberbetween one and three. We'll figure
out what your surprisequestion is.
Let's do two.
Two.
Yeah.
Oh, Here you go. What is yourrecurring nightmare?
Nightmare? Yeah. Is that I'mgoing to die and I won't be able
(31:58):
to get this message outbecause we are becoming so coddling
as a country that our childrenare not able to defend themselves.
And I want a strong country. Ireally. We have such beauty in every
(32:18):
aspect of our lives, but Iwant to be able to show that and
have people see their beauty.
Yeah, that's. I love that.That's really good. Where can listeners
find your book, the Power ofConnection and connect with you on
social media?
Social media is Dr. DianeOlvera, but it's D I, A N N E and
(32:43):
then O L, V E R A or Amazon.I'm, I'm. My book is on Amazon right
now. And let's see. I, I don'tknow if they have put on the other
word power strong onto mywebsite yet, so. But that might be
another. That's a lot easierto spell. Okay. Word power strong.
(33:06):
There you go.
I didn't even think about thename until somebody says two ends
and a. Diane. No.
There you go. Get the wrongperson, wrong book.
That's right. That's right.
Power of disconnect versusconnection. So, as we wrap this up
(33:27):
and this is a greatconversation, what key takeaways
do you want the audience toleave from our conversation today?
Well, as we started out, youknow, do unto others as you want
others to do unto you andlearn some strategies so that you
can actually get that intoyour life and keep it going. Use
(33:48):
your eyes, listen, ask, don'ttell. You know, just little strategies.
Oh, extension words. You know,like some kids and some people don't
talk. Just start with, youknow, say they, oh, I had a bad day.
And so. Darn. And empathy.When you start with empathy, they
(34:13):
feel. Felt, you know. Okay,you got drunk last night. We have
all had difficult situationsin our lives. Now, what would you
do differently? We left forone night and the SWAT team ended
up at our house in Florida.
Oh, my goodness.
(34:36):
Yeah. The football playerlived down the street, and so the
kids didn't realize that ourhouse was not the football player's
house.
Oh, my goodness.
Yeah, so it was really good.My husband actually did use all the
strategies. So what would youdo differently? How would you change
things? Yeah. And when he,when actually when he really didn't
(34:57):
know what to do, then he said,I don't know. Can you help me?
Yeah.
And that's a perfect timebecause then now, then he's receptive.
Right. Well, Dan, thanks somuch for writing this book. And thanks
so much for caring about ournext generation that you pour into
them and. And give us sometools to kind of help lift them up
and honor them and respectthem and. And to take them to that
(35:20):
next level so they can be allthat God made them to be. So thank
you for the.
The work that you do well, andfor yours also. Thank you. You are
blessed. And thank you. Youblessed me, too, today. Thank you.
Thank you, Diane.
All right.
My guest today is Dr. DianeOliveira. Over four decades, she
has worked as an internationaldiplomat, spy educator, professor,
brain researcher, andclinician. Her doctoral degrees in
bilingual special education.Language and cultural differences
are grounded in research andpractice, emphasizing the power of
(01:19):
connection. These proven andeffective strategies transform the
lives of everyone who employsthem. She is the author of Ask, Don't
Tell, Six Easy Steps toImprove Communication, Self Control,
and InterpersonalRelationships. Her upcoming book,
the Power of UnderstandingIndividual Differences to Uplift
(01:39):
and Empower, is scheduled forrelease in spring of 2025. She wants
to unleash the power of yourwords to transform lives, imagining
a profound impact you'll havewith every interaction, leaving others
feeling respected, confident,and valued in their abilities. Welcome,
Dr. Diane, to the podcast.Well, Doc, welcome to the podcast.
(02:03):
How you doing today?
I'm doing great. How are you doing?
I'm doing good. So good totalk to you, but looking forward
to this conversation for awhile. Love talking about leadership.
And so we'll have fundiscussing what you can show us and
our audience about leadership,especially about connection. But
before we jump into thattopic, give me the best piece of
advice you ever received.
(02:25):
Do unto others as you wouldlike others to do unto you.
It's a very biblical approach.
It's biblical, but, you know,it works. It's the fun. It's the
foundation of life.
Yeah. And how have you usedthat? And as you interact with people.
(02:47):
I know that I call it speechpatterns in the book without you
realizing we are actuallycreating the environment by our speech
patterns, but usually startsout as a joke. Oh, that's. You're
so silly. You're so stupid.Then you start forgetting. And then
(03:11):
everybody in the room startscalling that guy stupid or silly
or pointing to somethingstupid or silly that he did or is
not or is doing. And so it'scatchy. And so what I actually do
is I don't say anything. Ichange the speech pattern.
Okay.
And it's just. Dude, that isawesome. I didn't even think of that.
(03:35):
That's such a cool thing tosay, you know, or. No, that was brilliant.
Right?
I would have never thought ofthat. All of a sudden, everybody
starts catching the samewords, the same patterns.
Wow, that's interesting. Inever thought about that.
Change the whole dynamics.Yeah. Go home when your wife is in
(03:55):
a bad mood and just startflipping it around. And all of a
sudden she's gonna say, I love you.
I can't. Look, she can't hearthis podcast. And she'll get. She'll
know my secret.
Yeah, exactly.
I'M curious, can you think ofsome people in your life who served
as either a mentor for you ormaybe a source of inspiration?
(04:17):
I would say my husband. I methim in Argentina. It had a really
bad first marriage. And he wasAnglo, Argent, Anglo, Mexican, and
he served in the military. Hewas one of the first groups of Latinos
(04:38):
went into West Point. And hereally taught me how to live. He
taught me how to respect, hetaught me how to take care of myself.
Because I grew up in a familythat we weren't allowed to talk,
we weren't allowed to askquestions. I got soap in my mouth
(05:00):
behind my front teeth. Oh, my,my mother would find a nice juicy
bar of soap and she wouldslide it behind my front teeth and
I remembered her for the restof that day. Yeah. And if I didn't,
if I continued askingquestions and I would get whipped
with the belt or the, the, thewooden spoon or whatever. So I left
(05:22):
home without any strategies onhow to interact with people. And
so I became a stewardess, andI learned a lot that way. But then
when I met him and became adiplomat, you know, being married
to him, I really had to learnhow to work with people.
That's a fascinating story. Sotell us about that journey as a diplomat,
(05:48):
spy, educator, professor,brain researcher. Give us that journey,
that whole story, becausethat's a lot of different pieces
that led you to that fromwhere you started to, you know. That
background of learning tocommunicate when you were not allowed
to, I think is so critical forwhat you do today.
Oh, yeah, yeah. When I, whenwe were first married, I didn't have
(06:12):
a security clearance. And soone of the first persons I met was
a very high ranking dignitarywho was so sweet, fun sweet. I came
back and said, oh, I just lovethis guy. When I got my security
clearance, I found out thatthat lovely, sweet person was instrumental
(06:36):
in killing children and women.
Wow.
And to this day, I mean, it's,it's, it's just horrendous. These
are the, the grandmothers ofthe plaza, of the, the main street
and everything. So it, givenmy background from my parents and
(06:57):
then how this person wowed meover in minutes, I wanted to learn
what happens in the power ofconnection. And so after we finished
being diplomats in Argentina,we went to Mexico. Same thing happened.
I went back to, when we gotback to the States, I went back to
(07:20):
the university. I got my firstdoctorate in bilingual special education.
I realized that there was notadequacy in the way that we're teaching
our children of differentcolors. And so that really got me
mad. But when I tried to fightfor them, nobody listened to me.
So I went back and got anotherdoctorate. And then after that, after
(07:47):
I graduated, I was workingwith some students that had what
they call nonverbal learningdisability. I was teaching at Florida
Atlantic after that. And Iwent into the brain research center
and said, I can wanna. I wannado some brain research on these kids.
(08:07):
And they let me. So I did. Ijust wanted to know what's happening
in the brain. How do peopleact and react and then what can we
do differently to help thosebrains and those people change their
whole lives? And here I am,30, 40 years later. I can tell you
(08:28):
that my students still comeback. I have autistic neurodiverse.
They are now parents withtheir own children. They're married.
These are kids that are notsupposed to be. They supposed to
have like guardians? No,they're married and they're profitable.
They are heads of their owncompanies and they are wonderful.
(08:51):
If you, as you think aboutyour research. What about your research,
especially with the brain workthat was most surprising to you?
That's interesting. We hadcontrast groups, the non nonverbal,
which were the kids who wereperceptual. These are our football
players, these are our starbasketball players. But they're very
(09:13):
quiet and they don't talk. Orif they do talk, it's. Yeah, I don't
know, sure, whatever. But yousee them on the field and they are
amazing. It's almost like theyhave this special gift that they
can see somebody move beforethe person even begins to move. And
so that really intrigued me.So that's the non non verbal. And
(09:35):
then we have the non verbal,which means it's not in the verbal
side of the brain that has theissues. They were very verbal. So
we just had a little fingertap practice before they went in.
And then we asked them toreplicate that finger tap. Well,
what we found was when youdon't use internal speech, you know,
(09:59):
as if I was teaching you adance step. What are you saying?
You know, in your head? Okay,right foot, left foot, shuffle, you
know. And so the kids who hadnot talked to themselves had lighting
all over their brain. Theywere looking for, what do I do? But
when we pulled them out and wesaid, okay, here, use these numbers,
(10:21):
use your fingers. 1, 2, 3, 4.Use this pattern, say this pattern,
do this pattern. We put themback in within five minutes. We fixed
the brain. Come on. Literally.I mean, they had lighting in all
the right areas. So you seethis and you say there's got to be
something here. So sad to say.I do have a bad story, a sad story.
(10:46):
It was a family where theywere twins and boy and a girl. The
girl was very verbal and theguy was a great surfer. I mean, just
wonderful. And one day he andhis friends went out and were riding
motorbikes and they decidedthat they were going to turn off
the lights of the motorbikesin the nighttime and play chicken.
(11:10):
Wow.
He did not use self talk. Hedied. And the girl that was with
him almost died. You know, shegot very. She was very ill. And so
this really hurts my heartbecause I started working with them
too late. Had we knownearlier, I mean, to this day I still
(11:32):
think about, had we not workedwith this guy and his family earlier,
maybe we would have gotten himto be able to start thinking and
talking to themselves. This iswhat I think we need to do with all
these wonderful people thatare in sports.
Yeah.
Get them to become more communicative.
So you, you said, and I wantto go back a little bit. You said,
(11:54):
when you start working withsome of these kids who people had
kind of given up on, how didyou figure out or break through so
that they became productivemembers of society when they were
kind of. People had kind ofgiven up on their potential.
That's right. Well, Rhett, onething that really bothers me is when
(12:15):
you see a family and they havelike an autistic child, what do they
say to the child? I just wantyou to be happy.
Right.
The second child who has noproblems, do they ever say that to
him or her? No. And so stoptreating them differently. Treat
them as human beings. Thesepeople are brilliant. If you really
(12:37):
let that side of their brainshow and you start telling them how
brilliant they are in thoseareas, I don't tell them, oh, you're
wonderful. No, I just point itout. Hey, did you notice that you
solved that problem beforeanybody else? Hey, did you see that?
That color matches that, that,that border, then it really brings
(12:59):
out the. And highlights whatwe are trying to do. No, they did.
And so when they start seeingthemselves as a profitable, active
individual in society, that'swhat they do. They become it.
Wow, I love that. So let'stalk about your first book, Ask,
Don't Tell. And you kind offocus on improving communication
(13:21):
and self control. Kind ofshare some of the principles of that
book and then we'll get intoyour new book.
Sure. Well, that book isbasically the strategies that I used
working with people. And I, Ichose Ask don't tell because even
when you read parent magazinesor parent articles, what do they
(13:42):
say? Tell them, tell them.Stop it. No. So I always, so I say
flip it. So when somebody'shaving a problem, I ask them rather
than tell them what to do. Youknow you're really good at giving
advice to George. Tell me, ifI was George, what would you tell
(14:03):
me? What kind of advice wouldyou give me? And then these kids
just rule out with their owndecisions. And then it's like, yep,
okay, now take that and rollwith it dude, because this is it.
You are great at what you'redoing. And so they, you, when you
raise their self esteem, whenthey start to hear themselves talk
(14:24):
and they see that they do havethis power, they become more self
conscious of being do of whatthey're doing which is not bad because
it raises their self esteem.When they get their, when they start
to raise their self esteemthey have self confidence. When you
have self confidence you startusing it with other people. Then
(14:46):
when you use it with otherpeople, what do they do? They think
you're a leader. Little dothey know it was all trick.
Right? I love that. So tell usabout your new book, the Power of
Connection. And why is that so important?
Oh my goodness. Well, youknow, I, I wasn't going to write
another book and every time Iwould meet with someone new, they
(15:10):
would say to me, how do youknow me when you never met me? And
you know, teenagers would sayI was a witch. You know, it's like
dude, she's a witch. And so Ithought, well, what do I do? And
so then I just really startedlooking at first of all, we have
to open our awareness. AsAmericans. We're so busy, we don't
(15:31):
even look at each other whenwe talk. We, you know, you walk into
the room and say the kids,hey, pick up your shoes and you walk
away. Don't even look at them.And so that's the, the main thing
that I just, I said you can'tdo this.
I love that your book isbroken down in two sections. So you
(15:51):
have section one where youkind of talk about the different
phases but then you get intonot just phases, but then strategies.
I think strategy is soimportant because we can always talk
about connecting, we can talkabout communication, but oftentimes
it's like, yeah, but where doI start? So tell us a little bit
about how the book is brokenup and how you kind of laid it out
for people.
(16:13):
Right. I think what I missedin the first book is how do you know
somebody and how can youinteract with them unless you see
how they think? So mine isn'treally on, you know, how do they
use their words. My book isreally on how do you process information.
(16:34):
For example, imagine if youare bottom line guy, just give me
the bottom line, don't botherme with all these little details.
Then you're in an office withsomebody or married to somebody who's
very detailed, drive you crazybecause every detail has to be discussed
whenever you go out to dinneror out with friends. But then if
(16:58):
you understood how that personprocesses information, then it becomes
an asset. So I may want toredo the kitchen, but I'm a bottom
line guy. And so I say, well,I just want some nice colors and
I want some new, newappliances. But then my husband is
(17:22):
a detailed guy. So rather thandrive me crazy, I just say, and you're
so wonderful at all thedetails. Go for it. Now if you're
a boss and you have people inyour office that are probably inter
fighting and you see theindividual differences and you point
(17:42):
it out. You know, Harriet, youare so good at giving us just the
big picture and Mary Lou, youlove these details. So would you
guys mind coming together andmaking this concept really work for
us? Because we need somethingthat's full bodied. Now each of them
(18:06):
feels like they're appreciatedfor their uniqueness and then, then
they work and they, they dothings well. Then they start using
this with other people. Butthe good thing of this. Do you know
what happens in the brain?What our brain actually learns how
to use the other person's brain.
(18:27):
Ah, okay.
So you may always be thebottom line person, but when you're
working with people in yourcommunity, you will then be able
to pick out the differententities in your community and you
change your way you talk withthem based on the way their brain
handles the information.
(18:48):
I love that. We used to callthat, I know my, in my circles we
call it the painter and versusthe pointer. One person just pointing
to, you know, the details.Another person like, but I got to
paint you a picture of it first.
Yeah, right. But it works. Imean if you, if you really, you know,
would see that and you pointit out as their beauty, not as a
(19:11):
deficit. But the nice thingis, is once someone's self esteem
and self confidence is built,you can start talking about the negative
because they don't feel badlythat you're putting them down because
they know they're good at stuff.
Right. That makes a lot ofsense. Yeah. As you think about the
work that you did, especiallyin this book. So what are some of
(19:32):
the key elements thatcontribute to effective connection
between individuals?
Okay. Well, the first isawareness. I actually say, you know,
it used to be you could sit inthe mall and look at people right
now. I say, okay, look at themorning shows or the talk shows,
and then you can see thedifferences. But watch how people
(19:52):
use their eyes. The eyes arepowerful. You can use your eyes in
good ways. Or when I was adiplomat, I would use my eyes to
put people in their place.They're always trying to get information
from you. And so they'll.We'll take a woman aside and start
(20:16):
to be very comforting and warmand attentive. And then they start
asking questions. Well,sometimes the questions may be something
so simple as, does yourhusband always get drunk? Now, why
would you use that? You woulduse that later against them in political
(20:39):
ads or in issues that you wanthim to be quiet on. So I had to turn
my eyes directly to them, lookthem right in the eye, and say, we've
had enough. And then I walk away.
Wow, that's interesting.
(21:00):
And it's very powerful.
Did you notice that there aredifferent, effective ways to communicate
with different cultures ordifferent ethnic groups? I noticed
that. There's a book I can'tyou study years ago about how do
you connect? For example, ifyou were talking to someone who was
French versus someone who wasAmerican, you talked about, like,
(21:22):
for example, feedback.Feedback in France is different than
feedback in America,especially in a corporate setting.
So how did you discover howyou connect against cultural and
ethical lines or ethnic lines?
Yes. Well, I first learnedthat when the ambassador's wife in
(21:44):
one of the countries that weworked at wore cowboy outfits to
formal. Formal attire. Andsometimes the American diplomats
would get off the airplane andsay, oh, man, I can't wait to have
a burrito. And they're inArgentina. You don't have burritos
(22:06):
in Argentina. So. And when youlook at this in a classroom, this
is why I went for my seconddoctorate, I can't begin to tell
you how many ethnicallydifferent students from the majority
culture are placed in specialeducation and don't need to be there.
(22:33):
And it really does help toknow their culture so that when you're
working with them, you canunderstand the need for how they
live in their house. What istheir background like? What is their
family life like? If you knewthose things, you then appreciate
that child for who they areand what they can give to your classroom
(22:56):
or your society.
Wow, that's. That'sfascinating. I'm curious we talked
a little bit about nonverbalcommunication as we started this
out. How do you. How does thatimpact communication and connection
in our society? And a lot ofpeople deal with some of those nonverbal
cues. So how do we help peopleand make sure they feel included
(23:19):
in our culture?
There are some cultures thatyou're not supposed to look at them,
you know, like a child shouldnot look at an adult because it's
not respectful. But let's justsay we're dealing with the American
culture. If you had an officeand you wanted people to be more
(23:44):
communicative, you literallytell them, did you know that eye
contact actually connectsbrains? And it is brain power. So
that how you use your eyes isalso how you plan to present yourself
to individuals. It's reallyfunny. Craig Melvin on the Today
(24:08):
show, he is so sweet becauseafter he finishes an interview, and
let's say there's a whole,like three or four of them sitting
with an interview, he will.And they're walking away to go on
to another part of the set, heturns around, he looks right at that
person again and says, thankyou. Now that hit me right into my
(24:32):
soul, because this is thepower of communication. When I do,
when I'm checking out of asupermarket, my friends always say,
what is it you start getting.People start telling you all about
their background and theirlives and their kids and what a day
they had that day. And all Idid was look at them and say, hey,
(24:54):
what's up? How are you? Andthey're happy.
So for those of us who aren't,who haven't studied this and don't
know is, what did you do? Whatare some key things that we can do
and put into practice on adaily basis to be better at connecting
with people?
The first thing you have to dois listen. You know, what do we do
(25:17):
as soon as we hear somethingwe don't like, oh, no, no, no. But
you know, we've got to changethat. And you don't let the person
finish the sentence. So youjust took away their power. With
kids, as soon as they start tosay something and you're in a bad
mood or you feel like they'rebeing aggressive with you, what do
(25:39):
you do? That's enough, youngman. Sit down. And so if we don't
listen, they don't feel heard.If you don't feel heard, you don't
feel respected. So why would Ieven talk with you? Why would I even
be part of your. Your. Yourgroup? Why do I even want to work
here? Because nobody Cares.But when all you have to do is listen
(26:03):
to them, look at them, andthen respond, that was a, that was
an interesting idea. I'll takethat into consideration. That's it.
You don't have to spend a lotof time. You actually spend less
time using these strategiesthan you would if you had been using
what you normally do.
(26:25):
I have a lot of people on mypodcast who are educators. If you're
talking to the educators, theteachers in the room, what insights
do you have for them in theirenvironment to put this into practice?
From day one, and actually, Ihad 24 students from four different
languages, no aid, no books.And, and I used all these strategies.
(26:52):
And so from day one, you makethe rules together, and it doesn't
have to be anythingaggressive. And when you make it
together, they become part ofthe system. It's not top down. They
are now entities in thatsystem. And then all you have to
(27:13):
do after that, you know, atthe beginning, you have to reinforce,
you know, where do you putyour book bags? But then after you
do that, you just say, hey,where's your bag need to go? And
that's it. You know, if you'rea boss. Hey, where do those files
need to be at 9 tomorrow? Oh,on your desk. Hey, thanks. I appreciate
that. Cool. That's it. And youlook at them and you go, hey, I really
(27:36):
appreciate that. Thanks.There. They feel. Felt. I know people,
when they interview me, theysay, what does that mean? Is that
making sense? Like you feellike someone just gave you a hug
because they looked at you andthey made you real?
Yeah, it makes a lot of sense.So how is your book being received?
(28:02):
Great. Yeah. Everyone that hasbeen reading it. Matter of fact,
I got one review the other dayfrom a father who had a child that
had some disability. And Imean, it was almost as if I had asked
him to write it because it waslike, exactly what the book is about.
And I'm like, that's cool. Ididn't think that he would really
(28:24):
get the gist, but he. But theydid. Yeah. And it's. They're simple.
I mean, it's. I did not Writeit like Dr. O. You know, I really
wrote it. Like, you know, hereyou and I are sitting here talking
together. We're just yourfriends and having a cup of coffee.
That's it. And, and it makesit easier because all the stories
(28:46):
then back up how you would usethis in your personal life.
That's awesome. So I love toask my guests this question. What
do you want your legacy to.
Be I would love to have morepeople try this out. If you want
your life to be easier, morerelaxed and fun, and have your kids
(29:10):
grow up with self esteem, selfdiscipline, you don't work so hard.
Once you get this kind of inplace, you can kind of sit back and
enjoy the kids rather than getmad at them.
That's okay.
And they'll end up like you.Your top strengths.
Yeah, we've talked about thatbefore we came on. I. The whole strength
(29:35):
thing comes, of course, fromstrength finder. And I always like
to be aware of what I'm goodat and what I'm not good at because
you can spend so much of yourlife trying to improve things that
even if you improve yourweaknesses or just minor improvements,
whereas if you pour into yourstrengths, you're much more effective
and a lot less frustrated.
So. Well, please pass that onto every person that you meet. Because
(30:03):
business, they're telling methat they can't hire college students
or high school studentsbecause they don't have self awareness.
Right.
You know, and in parents, Imean, you keep doing everything for
your children. I know you doit out of love, but what are you
doing? You're babying them.And then when they get out into the
real world, they'll be likeme. They didn't have any strategies.
(30:26):
Right. And they don't havetime to go back and make a book like,
I mean, go back and take twodegrees again like you did.
Yeah, well, you know, I justdid it to fight for people because
I would get so mad that nobodylistened to me, you know, So I have
to, because I don't have oneof these aggressive characters. Maybe
I laugh too much. And so it'sreally hard to take me seriously.
(30:48):
So I just say, okay, researchsays there you go.
And I can back it up with allthese different sources. Yes, right.
That's right. I'm really aserious person.
Yeah.
One other thing is, whenyou're talking to somebody, especially
kids, don't ask them how youfeel. If they say, how do you feel?
(31:12):
It's like they feel like theyhave to. They have to know the exact
words to tell you. But if yousay, how does your brain feel? How
does your body feel right now?Oh, my goodness. You. It's almost
like opening a dam.
That's amazing. So I startedsomething new in season six of the
podcast, and it is thesurprise question that the guest
(31:36):
gets to pick. So pick a numberbetween one and three. We'll figure
out what your surprisequestion is.
Let's do two.
Two.
Yeah.
Oh, Here you go. What is yourrecurring nightmare?
Nightmare? Yeah. Is that I'mgoing to die and I won't be able
(31:58):
to get this message outbecause we are becoming so coddling
as a country that our childrenare not able to defend themselves.
And I want a strong country. Ireally. We have such beauty in every
(32:18):
aspect of our lives, but Iwant to be able to show that and
have people see their beauty.
Yeah, that's. I love that.That's really good. Where can listeners
find your book, the Power ofConnection and connect with you on
social media?
Social media is Dr. DianeOlvera, but it's D I, A N N E and
(32:43):
then O L, V E R A or Amazon.I'm, I'm. My book is on Amazon right
now. And let's see. I, I don'tknow if they have put on the other
word power strong onto mywebsite yet, so. But that might be
another. That's a lot easierto spell. Okay. Word power strong.
(33:06):
There you go.
I didn't even think about thename until somebody says two ends
and a. Diane. No.
There you go. Get the wrongperson, wrong book.
That's right. That's right.
Power of disconnect versusconnection. So, as we wrap this up
(33:27):
and this is a greatconversation, what key takeaways
do you want the audience toleave from our conversation today?
Well, as we started out, youknow, do unto others as you want
others to do unto you andlearn some strategies so that you
can actually get that intoyour life and keep it going. Use
(33:48):
your eyes, listen, ask, don'ttell. You know, just little strategies.
Oh, extension words. You know,like some kids and some people don't
talk. Just start with, youknow, say they, oh, I had a bad day.
And so. Darn. And empathy.When you start with empathy, they
(34:13):
feel. Felt, you know. Okay,you got drunk last night. We have
all had difficult situationsin our lives. Now, what would you
do differently? We left forone night and the SWAT team ended
up at our house in Florida.
Oh, my goodness.
(34:36):
Yeah. The football playerlived down the street, and so the
kids didn't realize that ourhouse was not the football player's
house.
Oh, my goodness.
Yeah, so it was really good.My husband actually did use all the
strategies. So what would youdo differently? How would you change
things? Yeah. And when he,when actually when he really didn't
(34:57):
know what to do, then he said,I don't know. Can you help me?
Yeah.
And that's a perfect timebecause then now, then he's receptive.
Right. Well, Dan, thanks somuch for writing this book. And thanks
so much for caring about ournext generation that you pour into
them and. And give us sometools to kind of help lift them up
and honor them and respectthem and. And to take them to that
(35:20):
next level so they can be allthat God made them to be. So thank
you for the.
The work that you do well, andfor yours also. Thank you. You are
blessed. And thank you. Youblessed me, too, today. Thank you.
Thank you, Diane.
All right.
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