March 16, 2025 • 38 mins
Dr. Robb Kelly shares his inspiring journey from homelessness and addiction to becoming a successful mentor and recovery expert. He emphasized the critical turning point in his life when he realized he could not overcome his alcoholism alone, leading to a profound spiritual awakening. Throughout the conversation, Dr. Kelly discusses the importance of mindset and how he uses neuroscience-based approaches to help others reclaim their lives from addiction. He highlights the devastating impact of alcoholism on families and advocates for a supportive recovery environment that addresses both individual and familial trauma. With a mission to help others, Dr. Kelly aims to create a 100-bed rehab facility that provides free resources and support for those seeking recovery.
The conversation delves deep into the emotional and psychological challenges of addiction, particularly the damage it inflicts on familial relationships. Dr. Kelly recounts the painful reality of losing contact with his children due to his alcoholism, a theme that resonates throughout the discussion. He shares poignant anecdotes that illustrate the ripple effects of addiction, not just on the individual but on loved ones as well. The episode also touches on the concept of PTSD related to familial trauma, emphasizing that the impacts of addiction extend far beyond the individual. By addressing the underlying issues and traumas that fuel addiction, Dr. Kelly advocates for a holistic approach to recovery that encompasses both the individual and their family. His stories serve as a reminder of the importance of empathy and compassion in the recovery process, providing hope to those who feel trapped in their circumstances.
Takeaways:
- Dr. Robb Kelly shares his transformative journey from homelessness and addiction to recovery, emphasizing the importance of mindset.
- He encourages individuals to stop caring about others' opinions and focus on self-acceptance for personal growth.
- The conversation highlights the significance of addressing childhood trauma in addiction recovery and healing.
- Robb discusses the power of neuroscience in addiction treatment and how it can change lives.
- He shares the emotional impact of reconnecting with his daughter after years of separation due to alcoholism.
- Robb's mission is to help others through mentorship and offering pro bono work, demonstrating a commitment to service.
Links referenced in this episode:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:58):
My guest today is Dr.
Rob Kelly.
Rob has been an amazing has anamazing story of how he successfully
overcame addiction and helpsothers reach their potential.
He works with his patients toimprove optimal performance by using
brain spotting and otherneuroscience coaching, evidence based
approaches.
He provides mentorship andguidance to aspiring entrepreneurs.
(01:21):
He invests and encouragesothers to invest in startup ventures.
He devotes countless hourssharing his expertise through conferences
and workshops, utilizingothers who've overcome the challenges
associated with life change,lifestyle change, habit formation,
childhood traumas, startupobstacles, etc.
He has created educationalprograms on business fundamentals.
(01:43):
He also fosters a culture ofinnovation and responsible risk taking.
He shares his personal highsand lows as he struggles to overcome
crippling alcoholism.
In the November 2019 releaseof the book Daddy, Daddy, Please
Stop drinking.
We welcome Dr.
Rob to the podcast.
Well, Dr.
(02:03):
Rob, welcome to the podcast.
How you doing today?
Doing great, my man.
Good to be here.
Hey, guys, great to see you.
Good to see you.
Looking forward to this conversation.
Yeah, me too, man.
It's going to be good.
I know it will.
I know we're going to rock androll here.
But before we jump into theother questions, I want to ask you
my favorite.
(02:23):
What's the best piece ofadvice you've ever received?
Best piece of advice I everdeceived is stop caring what people
think about you.
And unfortunately, that wasn'tuntil about 10 years ago when we
worry what people think aboutus all the time.
But I'm at a place now where Idon't really care what you.
You think about me.
You either love me or you don't.
(02:44):
I don't care.
It doesn't make any differenceto me.
But, yeah, it's like a weightoff my shoulder.
So, yeah, that was it.
Well, and the funny thing is,I can care what you think about me,
but it doesn't change anything.
Right?
Correct.
Exactly.
Exactly.
You know, I used to spend mytime worrying about if people liked
me.
And, you know, at the end ofthe day, I used to walk into a room
(03:05):
and go, does anybody like mein here?
Now I kick the door down, walkin and go, do I like anybody in here?
That's amazing.
That's true.
It's also a good point.
Do I like anybody in the room?
Yeah, exactly.
I have to put that on a T shirt.
Yes.
I can feel a T shirt coming on.
Do I like anybody in this room?
I love that.
(03:26):
So, Rob, I'm curious if youthink about your life.
Who are some people in yourlife who served as an inspiration
for you or maybe even A mentoralong your journey.
Arnold Schwartznaker.
When I was back in 1978, hecame to England to do some talks,
Pompey and I, and it just cameout an underground movie.
And I was bodybuilding at thetime, so the organization in Britain
(03:48):
chose me to go and pick him upfrom the airport, take him to the
hotel and make sure he got tothe show on time, which I gladly
did because he was a hero of mine.
And he was kind of the firstperson that set me off about mindset
because we were talking in a hotel.
I remember saying to him onenight, the bodybuilding is great,
Arnold, but, you know, yearsand years from now, what are you
(04:09):
going to do?
And he said, my life's plannedout and exactly what I'm going to
do.
And I said, well, please tellnow, back in 1978, you could hardly
understand his English, and itwasn't brilliant.
I mean, so I said, okay, tell me.
He said, first of all, I'mgoing to become the biggest, highest
paid movie star in the world.
(04:29):
Well, I nearly fell off the chair.
He's like, that's nothappening, fortunately, but what's
number two?
And he says, I'm going tobecome a governor of a state, preferably
California.
Well, we laughed again becauseI thought you had to be born in America
to be.
And the last one, there's no way.
(04:49):
I mean, there was just.
No, the last one was, I'mgoing to marry into the Kennedy family
Check.
Yeah, I would imagine youwouldn't forget that.
No, those are.
Those are pretty, like.
Because I remember Arnold whenhe first came out, yet his English
was not best.
I'm like, you're not reallygoing to be a movie star.
(05:09):
We don't know what the heckyou're saying.
But he did become a ginormousstar and governor of California,
so.
And he married Kennedy.
So, yeah, it's.
You know, I often think aboutthat when I'm making a business decision
or life decision is.
The mindset is phenomenal.
And so I usually achieveeverything I attempt.
(05:31):
I've had knockbacks in thepast, but these days, you know, you
gotta have that mindset thatwhatever you touch will work.
I love that.
So let's get into whatinspired you and motivated you to
tell your personal story inyour book.
Daddy, Daddy, please stop drinking.
I was homeless many years ago.
My marriage is split up.
The authorities have taken mychildren off me, ages 1 and 3.
(05:54):
And I became homeless and Istayed on the streets for 14 months.
I actually died on the streets twice.
And they brought me back tolife on the side of an old wet, stinking
road in the back ends ofManchester, England.
So I always swore to myself,if I ever got off the streets, I'm
(06:15):
gonna, I'm gonna venture a book.
Well, you gotta remember,guys, you see, honestly, back in
the 80s, you know, it's justlike nobody, you had to be an author
to write a book.
That was it.
Before everything was so easy.
So as I started to climb upthe ladder, it was only about four
or five years ago when peoplekept asking if you got a book out,
(06:36):
you got a book out on the podcast.
I was like, no, I'm not goingto book out.
And then I moved to SanAntonio four years ago.
My friends were like, you needto write a book, otherwise we're
not speaking to you, you know, jokingly.
So I wrote a book.
And I've got to tell you,Keith, it was one of the most healing
things that I've ever done personally.
You know, it was, it wasabsolutely, it healed them wounds
(07:01):
that were still lingering inthe past.
But because I wrote the book,it put me in a different place.
I never seen my eldest for 30years and my youngest, you know,
28 years or something.
But when I wrote the book, Ifinished the book and God said to
me, just chill, you've donegreat work, chill.
(07:21):
And literally three weeksafter I finished the book, I got
a message on Facebook early Inthe morning, 3:00.
And it was from my daughterI'd not seen for 30 years.
And she said, dad, I've seenyou on TV.
I don't believe what mom wastelling you about long text.
Can you come over?
You know, I want to, want toget back together and I've got a
great surprise for you.
(07:41):
So.
And you've got always worriedthis for me.
So within three hours we're ona plane and we get to our house next
day and I'm just trembling,I'm crying, I'm just feeling less
than.
And she opened the doorunexpectedly, we hugged and we cried
and, and then she grabbed meby my hand and she walked me into
(08:02):
her living room and she handedme my three month old granddaughter.
Oh.
And so we got talking about,hey, I've wrote a book and you know,
we don't know what to call it.
And she said to me, why don'tyou call it the last thing I said
to you?
And I said, charlie, I can'tremember that.
And he said it was, daddy,daddy, please stop drinking.
That's where it came from.
So it inspired the title.
(08:22):
We released the book, it didreally well and it's helped, you
know, thousands and thousandsof people.
Just watching my journey fromhomelessness to here is incredible.
But I always tell people whydid is humanly impossible.
If you think you can do whatI've done to homelessness, to here,
(08:45):
where I have four businesses,millions and millions and millions
of dollars worth, you've gotto have God's help.
You cannot do this on your own.
And that I had a hugespiritual awakening on the streets.
That's the reason why I'm here.
So that was the reasoningbehind it.
Wow.
How did a lot of people havedrinking problems and they kind of
don't want to own up to it.
(09:06):
How did you know when you wentfrom social drinking to it being
a problem of being alcoholism?
Great question, man.
Great question.
Don't think I've had that before.
So when I lost my children andbecame homeless, still didn't think
I had a drinking problem.
When I was on the streets for14 months, still didn't have a drinking
problem.
But one morning about.
(09:27):
It was like a Monday earlymorning, 1:00, 2:00 in the morning,
it's pouring down with rain.
I'm stumbling across the backend of Manchester where the factories
are, and I dropped down to myhands and knees and I started to
cry like a baby.
Now, here's the deal.
I wasn't crying because I'dlost my children and my wife and
my houses and my parents, theywon't speak to me.
(09:49):
Brother and sister.
For the first time in my life,right there, I realized I can't stop
drinking.
And I remember looking up tothe sky in the rain and my tears.
And I was in the offices and warehouses.
There was not a human being in sight.
And I looked up, I was crying.
I was sobbing.
My stomach was aching.
I was sobbing, sobbing.
(10:10):
I looked up to the sky and Isaid, if there's a God up there,
I can't do this on my own anymore.
30 seconds, Keith.
30, 20, I don't know how longseconds after I said, that guy come
around the corner.
He'd missed his last Biblestudy home.
He'd walked, you know, a paththat he's never walked before.
He took a shortcut he's nevertaken before.
(10:31):
He came up with me, and that'swhere my journey started.
That's amazing.
I know a lot of people whohave drinking problems and they don't
understand the impact and thedamage it does to the family.
If you're.
If you want to give a messageto someone who thinks Maybe like
you did that.
I really don't have a problemhere that I can manage this kind
(10:54):
of speak to them from thepoint of what that does to the relationships
you have with your family and friends.
Let me tell you a little story.
It's true story.
The family house got closed down.
They went back in the houseand moved into my parents.
I lasted four days of myparents because the thing was no
drinking.
And my mom had cancer at the time.
(11:15):
And apparently, you know, shedied a lot sooner than she should
because worried about me or homeless.
But I was there and I wassneaking drink into my old bedroom.
And my dad, he was a veryquiet person.
Don't really hold a conversation.
We could drive for an hourgoing to work and he would never
speak.
But he opened the bedroom doorand this is what he said to me, Keith,
he said, you've got to go, son.
(11:35):
And I'm like, what do you meanI gotta go?
He said, so he put some stuffinto a plastic bag and he walked
me down the stairs.
And I'm like, dad, you get.
It's like 11 o'clock at night.
Dad, just let me stay tonight.
I promise him you want me to do.
And he handed me that bag andhe gave me like 10, 20 pounds, which
is like 150 today maybe.
(11:56):
And he closed the door on meand Keith.
I hated that man.
I hated him for doing that for me.
That was the first time I homeless.
Many months ago, maybe twoyears ago.
Two years after that, I'm satwith my mom having coffee and my
dad's in the bar with hisfriends having a drink.
And I said, you remember thattime dad threw me out?
(12:16):
And he went, yeah, I remember that.
I said, you know what, mom?
I've never forgiven for that.
What she said almost crucified me.
She said this.
She said, Rob, 55 years ofbeing married to your father, that's
the only time I've seen him cry.
(12:38):
And it hit me, man, we destroy relationship.
We do nasty things to thepeople we love.
Because half the time we'redrunk and we don't know and it's
terrible.
But one thing we do here is ifwe take a patient on, the family
has to come on not one day aweek or one month, twice a week for
(13:00):
nine days, they come on and wedeal with their trauma.
But they have to be on boardbecause they've gone through, you
know, most, most send.
A man's an alcoholic cominghome two or three times a week and
he's drunk and he causes afist fight with mom and the kids
say this.
That is called ptsd, my dear.
And PTSD will ruin, if notkill you.
The alcoholic doesn't know.
(13:22):
He's just doesn't always do such.
Every time you get into a fistfight or an argument with, with the
wife and the children see it,it's affecting their adult life.
We don't see that.
So relationships are broken,sweet relationships are broken.
And you just do so much damage.
So by doing your own childhoodtrauma work and the trauma work and
(13:43):
what we've done through theyears realizes that I was like an
infectious disease.
Everybody got it.
Everybody got contaminated bymy infectious disease, which is alcoholism.
And a few people didn'trecover from that, you know, so very
painful.
(14:04):
Yeah, my dad had an alcoholproblem and what you just described
was kind of like my lifegrowing up.
And you, you get to the pointas you talk about the PTSD is I always
imagined I'd grow up with nomom and no dad because either he
was going to probably end uptaking her out and then himself out,
or both.
And so you kind of lived yourentire life on edge of going, when
(14:26):
am I going to be the one in the.
And the famous guy, take careof my younger brother?
And so you live your life withthat constant fear.
So people say, you know, whydon't you just have a glass of wine
or something?
No, I refuse to touch alcohol,most likely.
I just, I don't want to bethat guy.
No, no, it's really bad.
And it slips in reallysneakily as well.
You know, from the moment Itook the first drink, which is age
(14:49):
9, on stage in Liverpool,England, playing my guitar with my
auntie and uncle.
I had a musical family.
I took that first drink there.
Never forget it.
That was my downfall.
It was just a matter of timebefore it all went wrong.
Because we have these selfsabotaging tendencies that are very,
very strong.
So when we, when we tried forsomething and we're almost there,
(15:10):
we self sabotage it or we relapse.
And it was just a crazy cyclethat I saw myself in.
So after I got well, I triedto go back to everybody that I met
and really just sit down withthem and go, hey, do I, do I owe
you any money?
You know, I remember tellingme $2,000, can I please pay that
offer?
(15:30):
$10 a month or 10 pound a month.
Not one of them said no.
And 90% said, don't worry, I'mjust glad to see you.
Well, and these were guys thatliterally fired me and hated me.
You know, we go on thisdifferent journey.
But you have to go back and,you know, look at your life because
you affect.
I affect a lot of people either.
(15:51):
Well, not the bad when I.
When I was drinking, but goodnow, you know, I'm making up for
it.
And I always said.
I always said, Keith, thatwhen I.
I was.
I'm constantly working withpeople all the time, free of charge,
all the time.
When I came over here, myapartment got foreclosed on because
I couldn't pay the rent.
I couldn't pay the mortgage,you know, working with people, working
people.
And I knew that I was doingGod's work because this guy called
(16:13):
John, crazy story.
But I knew one day he'd bringmy children back, so he did.
Wow.
You talked about the journeyyou went on.
You don't recommend because itwas just that difficult.
What were some of thechallenges you faced as you tried
to get your life back in orderagain and become sober?
(16:36):
It's really hard when you'reon the streets because your dress,
the bed, the unkempt, alwaysbeing drunk.
I went to diner streets.
I had no thought patterns ofgetting off the streets.
It was crazy, but it's hard, man.
I wouldn't waste this journeyon my worst enemy.
(16:57):
But what I will say is lookingback now with the work I do, my 14
months on the street was likea semester at Harvard University
from what I learned on the streets.
Start dialogue with somebody,that journey is going to be.
You've got to be ready.
You really got to be ready.
And then one of the reasons Istill do this at my age, I'm 63.
(17:18):
Could have retired years ago,but I want to help that guy.
I want to be your Derek, whowalk around the corner, you know,
to try and encourage you totry and get help.
Not with us, just any help tomove you forward.
Because once you get on thathill with somebody who knows what
they're doing, Alcoholics areborn, drug addicts are made.
People freak out.
Don't forget, when you're allscience experts and they don't seem
(17:42):
any way out, man, because wedon't want to sit down with somebody
and tell them what we're goingthrough, that you're failing, you're
an alcoholic and you can'tstop drinking and your children hate
you.
So we don't share that.
So the stress of carrying thatand the burden of carrying that secret
becomes very, very heavy.
And, you know, there's only acouple of ways you're going to go
(18:02):
down with that.
One of them is what I did.
And then secondly is to stepout of that shadow and step into
the sunlight and the spirit,and God will lift you up higher than
you've ever been.
Ever been.
I've got everything back amillion times.
Everything.
I.
Because I work hard with people.
25% of my work is pro bono.
Every single therapist andcoach in my business, and we have
(18:25):
five offices around the world,has to carry two pro bono.
Pro bono patients that Godsent us.
And if we don't do that, he'lltake all this away.
Keith, you know this.
Yeah.
Always got to be up theredoing what I do.
I'm the loudmouth one.
I'm the one that says that.
Things that everyone else isthinking, but they don't say.
And I'm that guy.
Unfortunately.
(18:46):
Unfortunately, I'm the guythat I'm not going to sit down.
What have I got to lose?
And people don't understand this.
Alcoholics and addicts havetwo lives in one lifetime.
When they get well, is that.
I messed the first life up.
I'm not gonna mess the secondone up.
I mean, you know, I signed anoffice deal in Dallas for a million
dollars, Keith.
About six years ago, people were.
(19:06):
My staff was freaking out, andI'm like, how do you sleep at night?
I'm like, listen, how.
What.
What do you not get aboutdying on the street?
What do you not get back?
They can't do anything to methat I haven't already done to myself.
So we're going to take risk, guys.
We're going to move forward.
Calculated risk.
And that's the way I look at.
I look at.
I've.
Today is like, when people seeme, they go, you've got a lot to
(19:26):
lose.
You know, if you do this, itdoesn't work.
I got nothing to lose.
I don't care if all this goesaway tomorrow.
A wise man once said to me,always have nice things around you,
but nothing you can't walkaway with in 10 minutes.
And it's true.
But my wife and my threeEnglish bulldogs, if you put me in
(19:47):
a tent in the middle of afield where the homeless people are,
with my wife and the threeEnglish Bulldogs, I'm happy then
as I am now.
And I won't change my lifestyle.
I still help people.
So tell us about your podcast.
So my podcast, years ago, was great.
And then we come away from itbecause I was filming for a TV series
that I was on, so we pulled away.
And then about a month ago, westarted up, and we're having people
(20:11):
like Gary breakers on.
He's a biohacker he's phenomenal.
And we're having the guy toswitch the road around the corner
from us, and he's going to beon with his story.
So it's a wine.
It's called the Dopamine Hour.
It's.
It's just an anybody podcast.
You don't have to have followers.
You don't have to, you know,it could be Billy, switch the road.
Brilliant.
You have a story and peopleneed to hear that, you know, So I
(20:34):
don't like a.
Dislike the Rogans of thisworld, but you can't get on Rogue
unless you're somebody.
We don't want to do that.
We just.
We're not that guys, man.
I think everybody's got a story.
Everybody knows somebody whosuffers from alcoholism and addiction.
And again, what we do today iswe don't just cover that on the podcast.
We.
We specialize in childhoodtrauma, depression, ptsd, alcoholism,
(20:55):
drug addiction, Alzheimer's,and onset dementia.
We cover a wide range.
So usually what we do asaffected somebody who comes onto
the podcast and it's just, Ido what you do 30 minutes.
Oh, 20, 30 minutes.
Like, oh, is that all?
People cannot concentrateafter 30 minutes, you know, And I
know that your mind starts towander and it's just terrible.
(21:16):
So we smash him for 30 minutesand we go away for a week.
Yeah, because you get beyond30 minutes and all of a sudden people
like, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's true.
A guy from friends once toldme, I was.
I was doing some work withhim, and I asked him why they all
pulled out friends, and hesaid, the same as a Seinfeld.
He said the time was right.
(21:37):
If you carry on, it becomes.
Nobody watches it.
Then you become like a failureand then they cancel you.
So we want to go out on a high.
It's kind of the same as me.
I love that.
So can you share a story withsomeone your recovery program helped?
You don't need to share aname, but just kind of the story
of.
Because we like to hearsuccess stories.
So that's that day with nineand a half thousand patients.
(21:59):
Success stories and, you know,so I'll.
I'll pick one out and youmight guess, you might know, we get
caught.
We used to have a ranch inDallas, and we're exclusive A list
people only.
Major actors, major musicians,major CEOs of corporations and banks.
That's all we dealt with onone patient at a time.
We took every three months.
So he gets a call off an agent in.
(22:21):
In Cali, and.
And he said, come Over.
I can't tell you.
It is over the phone, butthere's a guy here needs your help.
Would you come over?
Would you take him back to theranch and would you stay with him
for three months while you'regetting well?
So I said, well, we need toknow who it is so we can tell you.
So we.
We said, we'll take a gamble.
So the bodyguard, me, driver'sassistant, we bowled over there.
We arrived, we' jail, andwe're there in a side room, and this
(22:47):
guy comes in.
He said, Dr.
Rob, thank you for coming.
I said, yeah.
I said, we're just waiting tofind out who it is before we decide
whether to work with him.
He's like, what do you mean,you decide?
This guy's worth a fortune.
You know, he's not now, but wecan pay you a thought.
I don't care.
I have to know if I can workwith him.
Income.
This disheveled man in.
He had handcuffs and feetchains, the foot chains, ankle chains.
(23:10):
It's the first time I'd seenankle chains.
It was like.
For me, it was like Hannibal Lecter.
But he's like, you've got tosomething really bad to have ankle
chains on.
Oh, my God.
And he pulled him in, andinstantly we all recognized him.
And he sat down and he said,you know, I'm broken.
My career, my movie career isdown the drain.
I can't do anything.
I'm suicidal.
(23:31):
And the judge wanted to puthim inside for three to five years.
That was it.
They were sick of him doing antics.
And so we went into thecourtroom, and the judge started
talking, and he said, Dr.
Kelly, could you stand up?
And I stood up.
I said, I believe there's anarrangement going to come over to
you.
And da, da, da, da.
And I said, yes, your honor.
He said, I must warn you thatif he goes missing, because he was
great at that in the past,you'll be back in my courtroom.
(23:53):
And I said, hell, no, judge,I'm not.
I'm not taking that one.
No, it's not.
Anyway, we come to an agreement.
We have.
They took their handcuffs on,we put our handcuffs on, we stuck
him on the.
The.
The private jet, we broughthim back to Dallas, and we helicoptered
them into the ranch.
And we does intense subliminalwork, psychology work, you know,
(24:14):
all this stuff.
And I don't want to say cured,but we got really a bit of his addiction
stuff and his alcohol stuff.
But two weeks before he'sgoing to leave, and I'm telling him
every day Keith, listen,you're going to be the biggest pay
act.
You're back again.
Everyone's going to know whoyou are.
You're going to be blockbuster movies.
And I told him that often thathe started to believe it.
So the energy around him was ahuge movie star, bigger than you
(24:36):
was before and you were prettybig before.
And just before he's going toleave a couple of weeks, we've got
an envelope, it's like thisthick at the front gate.
Driver goes down, picks it up,brings it to me, I get it.
He says, it's four, blah, blah.
So I take it him, I said, hey,this is for you.
And he opened it and he tookit out and it was a script for the
(24:58):
highest paid grossing movie inthe world.
And he's right up there againand he sends us texts every month
and, you know, stuff like that.
We've done huge white rapperswe've taken care of and they become
a huge success.
We've worked with anybodywho's anybody.
It's just amazing, you know,to see them.
(25:18):
And then going from that tothe other end is we picked a girl
up from a mom's house.
The hospital has sent him overto die, sent him home to die.
And desperation.
She called us, we went round, we.
I literally had to pick thegirl up from the couch.
Heroin, she was probably tookher back to the ranch and we worked
pro bono free of charge withher for three months.
(25:39):
And she got well.
And the last we knew is shewas working at a rehab center.
I was like, brilliant,brilliant, brilliant.
About two years on, I'm in ameeting and she walked in and I go,
oh, my God, why do I know ifI'm working?
Because I've got terrible faces.
She sat down, the meeting wenton at the end of me and she stood
up and she said, I just wantto thank Dr.
R.O.
kelly.
(25:59):
Well, I nearly died becauseeveryone's looking at me now.
But I was crying because shetold me that we had saved her life
and that she has two childrennow because of it.
And it must have been two orthree years after, I can't remember,
she had two children, babies.
And she owns four rehabcenters across the country.
(26:23):
And I just came out of thatmeeting, man, I sat in my car and
I subbed like a baby becausethat's the stuff we're capable of
doing today and millions ofothers around that do our job.
But that's me paid in full.
I don't get involved in themoney side of the business.
I can't do that.
But paid in full for me isseeing somebody recover and do extraordinary
(26:45):
things in their life for thefamily and for them as well.
This work that you do is difficult.
I wonder how do you keepmotivated when sometimes it doesn't
work out like you hope it does?
Because I'm sure everybodydoesn't walk out.
There's a handful of people,maybe six people it didn't work for.
Here's our secret.
(27:06):
We have an assessment.
You have to pass an assessmentto get into this program.
And we've turned a lot ofpeople down.
Million dollar checks weturned down.
So we have to be convincedthat you're going to succeed and
be ready.
So when they come along, it'sa night, it's a almost 100% that
they're going to succeed.
There's lots of them in work there.
(27:26):
We, we're not like any othercompany that dealing in the addiction
world.
We use lots of tools like 90breath work therapy and brain spotting
and stuff like that.
So the results are good forthose who don't, who get through
the assessment but turn the back.
You know, I'm harsh, man, andsome people don't like me for that.
You know, if you call me upand tell me you're gonna have a drink,
(27:49):
I go drink.
And they go, what?
You can't speak to me.
Go drink or use or depressedor whatever you want to.
There's nothing I can do.
God's brought you here, man,if you leave that I'm only human.
I told one guy, I wish I couldtell you I'm this clever, but I'm
not.
See, my job, this is my job,guys, to reach down for the gutter
(28:11):
and pick the poor guy up who'sdying of untreated alcoholism and
lift you up to God as quick asI possibly can.
That's my job.
And the rest of the stuff,it's this, guys.
That's all it is.
It's like me doing God's work.
You're doing God's work whenyou come on, passed on to somebody
else, being kind every day,complimenting three people.
(28:32):
I'm blessed enough to blesssomebody monetary every time I leave
the house.
You know, all this stuff getsme up in the morning and gets me
out to save another life.
And if we.
And this is what this Courtney Davis.
We turn down podcasts everyweek, but Courtney Davis goes out
and she's been with us a longtime and she handpicks, she hand
(28:54):
picks podcasts that she thinkstogether we save lives.
And that's how we do it.
You'll never hear me, but youknow, oh, come on.
I want you to be a patient.
Come on down.
We need work.
I'm not on here to tell youabout my business.
I'm on here to tell you thatyou can do anything you want to do.
And you've got to believethat, you know, once, once.
(29:14):
Listen.
Once the mind.
So the mind over matter mindis more powerful than the brain.
The mind can plan the brainfor a fantastic day.
When our research we've done,when our energy brain can't see it
yet, you feel connects withanother energy.
Okay.
And we do our neural pathwaychildhood trauma work.
(29:35):
Your DNA changes.
You're not the same person andthat's what we're known for.
You know, I don't take any of anybody.
I don't answer to nobody.
I dropped my psychologylicense two years ago because they
didn't like what I was doing.
But we're getting people.
Wow.
It's God's work.
You know, And I always saidjust before, like I don't care what
(29:55):
you think about me, you know,I used to look at all the comments.
Keith, oh God.
He said that.
He said.
And what I learned over timeis nobody is doing as good as you
are better will evernegatively comment on anything that
you do, first of all.
And secondly, I'm worriedabout what some guy says.
And when you research him,he's living back at his parents,
he's got divorced twice, youknow, he's got no life.
(30:17):
And he comments on me, the guyliving in the million dollar house
and you know, worth millionsand millions and millions of dollars.
25% again.
That's what we give back tothe communities.
But yeah, it's like I used to.
I don't worry anymore, man.
In fact, if you guys, any guyshere that got haters, send it to
me.
Good.
We're good.
(30:37):
That's amazing.
I'm curious as you think aboutthe recovery area that you serve
in.
How do you take what you doand maybe change the future of recovery?
Because I think like you said,so much of it is hit and miss a lot
of times.
Miss.
So if you could like transformthe alcohol and substance abuse recovery
(31:01):
business, what would it looklike in the future?
It's all about neuroscience.
So we started studyingneuroscience some time ago, before
it was neuroscience.
Because I knew that somethingwas here, not here with an experience
that I had.
So neuroscience is the future, guys.
Studies on the mind find outas much as you can about the disease
(31:21):
you have because it is a disease.
The hypothalamus Basal ganglia.
They're the guys that we haveno choice, drinking and using in
the end and find information,get knowledgeable about, you know,
what's happening now and wherethis is going.
Because the stuff we've donewith neuroscience was a game changer
for us.
(31:42):
It really was.
And this is why we're so confident.
It's like you've got to stopthinking about the alcohol.
Alcohol, drug, sex, food, pornhas 1% to do with what you're going
through.
So 1% of alcohol equals alcoholism.
That's 99% is here, 99% is.
If you knew how powerful themind was, you would kick yourself
(32:04):
first of all for not knowing sooner.
And it would open your world.
It's not hard to earn amillion dollars.
Everyone thinks it is somespecial secret.
Do something you love.
Do it with a passion.
I don't care when you do itwith a passion.
I sometimes get almostaggressive sometimes when I'm talking
about it because I love it so much.
And, and, and don't be one ofthe guys that start something and
(32:27):
never finish.
Make sure you finish everything.
Be impeccable with your word.
Be strong, be powerful, be aleader in the community is very,
very important.
You know, when I had zerodollars and they foreclosed on my
apartment in Dallas, you know,five years after I was here or something,
I kept doing the same thing.
I kept showing up at studies,I kept teaching people, I kept working
(32:49):
with people, I kept, you know,all this stuff I was doing with people
because what God was saying tome is, you need more experience from
where I'm taking you.
So when I started studyingneuroscience, everyone's like laughing
at me going, what are you doing?
The brain is the brain and themind is the mind.
There's no such thing as the mind.
And I just knew there wassomething different because of an
experience I had many years ago.
(33:11):
So yeah, man, you've got tostand up.
And so if you always sat athome, guys, I don't care where you
are, you could be a leader.
If you're in, if you're in aone bedroom partner.
Now, Lady Mrs.
Smith.
And your husband's left youbecause he's an alcoholic and he's
gone away somewhere.
This is a turning point for you.
This is a crossroads.
I love people at crossroadsbecause we start again and we take
(33:32):
a better road than we did last time.
So that, that's the deal thatkeeps me inspired.
That's the deal to keep me going.
A lot of people say you'resifted free.
Why don't you retire and do what?
Well, am I going to buy abeach house and do what?
I'll be doing this.
My guys call me now.
Financial guys, are you readyto retire?
(33:52):
63 now.
I said, if you ever, ever saythat to me again about retirement,
I'm going to pull my fundingout of you.
Because my dad once told me,Keith, he said, the day you retire
is the day you die.
And I truly believe that.
So I'm never going to.
I'll be 100 years back on yourshowing when I'm 100, I mean, you'll
be sat here rocking in ourchairs and that's what it's going
to be.
You know, that's right.
(34:14):
Of course.
We can't stop, right?
No, no.
I do want to ask thisquestion, my other favorite question
from my guest, thinking aboutwhat you're doing now, what you want
your legacy to be.
You know, I've been asked thisa lot of times and it's kind of not
changed since, since day one.
He helped a lot of people.
(34:35):
That's all.
He was kind.
People don't see how muchmoney we actually give away to wear.
We say 150 because we givethat to people who suffer from alcohol
addiction but were involved inlots of the stuff.
It was a nice guy to helppeople because when you get to this
level where you pull away fromevery other person doing this, that's
(34:56):
why we have a 98% success rateand the nearest one too is a 9% success
rate is you kind of separatefrom that.
And a lot of people are jealous.
A lot of people are jealous ofwhat I have, Keith, but they're not
jealous of how I got here.
That's the problem withsociety, you know, so nice guy, he
helped people.
(35:17):
And before I, you know, gettoo old, I want a hundred bed rehab
in San Antonio for people thatwant to get well, free of charge,
funded by governments or donations.
And in that, we're going tohave a place where you can get clothing.
We're going to have a placewhere you can get all your government
from the money.
You can get housing with allthese offices in this center where
(35:39):
you can go and say, I'mhomeless, but I need to go.
And we'll find you a place tolive with a small amount of rent.
That's what we, that's whatI'd like.
I love that.
Where can people find your book?
Daddy, daddy, please stop drinking.
So it's on Amazon, guys.
Daddy, daddy, please stopdrinking it.
(35:59):
It looks, it looks a bit like this.
It's coming along.
That's me wasted completely.
As my eldest daughter when Idid a visit back to see her when
she was about four or something.
Um, I don't know how much itis but listen on this show if you
get on and say Reverend Dr.
Keith Haney and you.
I saw, I saw you.
If you send a message to me orKeith I've got five books away here
(36:21):
that I'll personally sign toyou and send you.
I'll pay for shipping and everything.
I'm going to send it to you onone condition.
You pass this on to somebodyelse when you finish reading your
die.
Where can people connect withyou if they want to get in the program
or know someone who needs tobe in the program?
Well if you listen, if you'relistening not watching guys, I spell
(36:42):
my name with 2B so it'sR-O-B-B K E L L Y.com is the website
Dr.
Rob Kelly on any search enginein the world.
And up I'll pop come joiners.
All social medias are out there.
You can come and come and joinyou know our happy family.
And what I do want to say isfor parents that are listening right
(37:02):
now who have children and wecall kids are like from anything
from I don't know, 2 to 22that's struggling with, with addiction
or mental health or depressionand you, and you don't know where
to turn.
You call the number on thewebsite and you say I want some advice
and we'll pass you on.
My wife's one of them.
We have three people here andthey will talk to you all day long.
(37:24):
You can call back 100 times a day.
We're going to guide youthrough this.
It's never going to cost you a dime.
We're going to guide youthrough it.
We're going to help you.
They probably won't come to us.
You're someone if we don't dothat it'll be place somewhere where
you can use his insurance, youknow and you can get well in your
area but we'll do that.
So yeah always giving back man.
That's, that's the key.
So come and join us guys.
Well Dr.
(37:44):
Rob, thanks so much for takingthe time and thank you for what you
do because what you do is sovaluable in this space.
Being someone who's, who hadthat kind of in my life it's a, it's
a painful thing.
It divides families, breaksfamilies up and it destroys relationships.
It's like it could have beenso much better if we didn't have
(38:05):
the element in your life.
So, yeah.
Thank you for what you do.
Thank you, man.
It's very kind.
Thank you, guys.
My guest today is Dr.
Rob Kelly.
Rob has been an amazing has anamazing story of how he successfully
overcame addiction and helpsothers reach their potential.
He works with his patients toimprove optimal performance by using
brain spotting and otherneuroscience coaching, evidence based
approaches.
He provides mentorship andguidance to aspiring entrepreneurs.
(01:21):
He invests and encouragesothers to invest in startup ventures.
He devotes countless hourssharing his expertise through conferences
and workshops, utilizingothers who've overcome the challenges
associated with life change,lifestyle change, habit formation,
childhood traumas, startupobstacles, etc.
He has created educationalprograms on business fundamentals.
(01:43):
He also fosters a culture ofinnovation and responsible risk taking.
He shares his personal highsand lows as he struggles to overcome
crippling alcoholism.
In the November 2019 releaseof the book Daddy, Daddy, Please
Stop drinking.
We welcome Dr.
Rob to the podcast.
Well, Dr.
(02:03):
Rob, welcome to the podcast.
How you doing today?
Doing great, my man.
Good to be here.
Hey, guys, great to see you.
Good to see you.
Looking forward to this conversation.
Yeah, me too, man.
It's going to be good.
I know it will.
I know we're going to rock androll here.
But before we jump into theother questions, I want to ask you
my favorite.
(02:23):
What's the best piece ofadvice you've ever received?
Best piece of advice I everdeceived is stop caring what people
think about you.
And unfortunately, that wasn'tuntil about 10 years ago when we
worry what people think aboutus all the time.
But I'm at a place now where Idon't really care what you.
You think about me.
You either love me or you don't.
(02:44):
I don't care.
It doesn't make any differenceto me.
But, yeah, it's like a weightoff my shoulder.
So, yeah, that was it.
Well, and the funny thing is,I can care what you think about me,
but it doesn't change anything.
Right?
Correct.
Exactly.
Exactly.
You know, I used to spend mytime worrying about if people liked
me.
And, you know, at the end ofthe day, I used to walk into a room
(03:05):
and go, does anybody like mein here?
Now I kick the door down, walkin and go, do I like anybody in here?
That's amazing.
That's true.
It's also a good point.
Do I like anybody in the room?
Yeah, exactly.
I have to put that on a T shirt.
Yes.
I can feel a T shirt coming on.
Do I like anybody in this room?
I love that.
(03:26):
So, Rob, I'm curious if youthink about your life.
Who are some people in yourlife who served as an inspiration
for you or maybe even A mentoralong your journey.
Arnold Schwartznaker.
When I was back in 1978, hecame to England to do some talks,
Pompey and I, and it just cameout an underground movie.
And I was bodybuilding at thetime, so the organization in Britain
(03:48):
chose me to go and pick him upfrom the airport, take him to the
hotel and make sure he got tothe show on time, which I gladly
did because he was a hero of mine.
And he was kind of the firstperson that set me off about mindset
because we were talking in a hotel.
I remember saying to him onenight, the bodybuilding is great,
Arnold, but, you know, yearsand years from now, what are you
(04:09):
going to do?
And he said, my life's plannedout and exactly what I'm going to
do.
And I said, well, please tellnow, back in 1978, you could hardly
understand his English, and itwasn't brilliant.
I mean, so I said, okay, tell me.
He said, first of all, I'mgoing to become the biggest, highest
paid movie star in the world.
(04:29):
Well, I nearly fell off the chair.
He's like, that's nothappening, fortunately, but what's
number two?
And he says, I'm going tobecome a governor of a state, preferably
California.
Well, we laughed again becauseI thought you had to be born in America
to be.
And the last one, there's no way.
(04:49):
I mean, there was just.
No, the last one was, I'mgoing to marry into the Kennedy family
Check.
Yeah, I would imagine youwouldn't forget that.
No, those are.
Those are pretty, like.
Because I remember Arnold whenhe first came out, yet his English
was not best.
I'm like, you're not reallygoing to be a movie star.
(05:09):
We don't know what the heckyou're saying.
But he did become a ginormousstar and governor of California,
so.
And he married Kennedy.
So, yeah, it's.
You know, I often think aboutthat when I'm making a business decision
or life decision is.
The mindset is phenomenal.
And so I usually achieveeverything I attempt.
(05:31):
I've had knockbacks in thepast, but these days, you know, you
gotta have that mindset thatwhatever you touch will work.
I love that.
So let's get into whatinspired you and motivated you to
tell your personal story inyour book.
Daddy, Daddy, please stop drinking.
I was homeless many years ago.
My marriage is split up.
The authorities have taken mychildren off me, ages 1 and 3.
(05:54):
And I became homeless and Istayed on the streets for 14 months.
I actually died on the streets twice.
And they brought me back tolife on the side of an old wet, stinking
road in the back ends ofManchester, England.
So I always swore to myself,if I ever got off the streets, I'm
(06:15):
gonna, I'm gonna venture a book.
Well, you gotta remember,guys, you see, honestly, back in
the 80s, you know, it's justlike nobody, you had to be an author
to write a book.
That was it.
Before everything was so easy.
So as I started to climb upthe ladder, it was only about four
or five years ago when peoplekept asking if you got a book out,
(06:36):
you got a book out on the podcast.
I was like, no, I'm not goingto book out.
And then I moved to SanAntonio four years ago.
My friends were like, you needto write a book, otherwise we're
not speaking to you, you know, jokingly.
So I wrote a book.
And I've got to tell you,Keith, it was one of the most healing
things that I've ever done personally.
You know, it was, it wasabsolutely, it healed them wounds
(07:01):
that were still lingering inthe past.
But because I wrote the book,it put me in a different place.
I never seen my eldest for 30years and my youngest, you know,
28 years or something.
But when I wrote the book, Ifinished the book and God said to
me, just chill, you've donegreat work, chill.
(07:21):
And literally three weeksafter I finished the book, I got
a message on Facebook early Inthe morning, 3:00.
And it was from my daughterI'd not seen for 30 years.
And she said, dad, I've seenyou on TV.
I don't believe what mom wastelling you about long text.
Can you come over?
You know, I want to, want toget back together and I've got a
great surprise for you.
(07:41):
So.
And you've got always worriedthis for me.
So within three hours we're ona plane and we get to our house next
day and I'm just trembling,I'm crying, I'm just feeling less
than.
And she opened the doorunexpectedly, we hugged and we cried
and, and then she grabbed meby my hand and she walked me into
(08:02):
her living room and she handedme my three month old granddaughter.
Oh.
And so we got talking about,hey, I've wrote a book and you know,
we don't know what to call it.
And she said to me, why don'tyou call it the last thing I said
to you?
And I said, charlie, I can'tremember that.
And he said it was, daddy,daddy, please stop drinking.
That's where it came from.
So it inspired the title.
(08:22):
We released the book, it didreally well and it's helped, you
know, thousands and thousandsof people.
Just watching my journey fromhomelessness to here is incredible.
But I always tell people whydid is humanly impossible.
If you think you can do whatI've done to homelessness, to here,
(08:45):
where I have four businesses,millions and millions and millions
of dollars worth, you've gotto have God's help.
You cannot do this on your own.
And that I had a hugespiritual awakening on the streets.
That's the reason why I'm here.
So that was the reasoningbehind it.
Wow.
How did a lot of people havedrinking problems and they kind of
don't want to own up to it.
(09:06):
How did you know when you wentfrom social drinking to it being
a problem of being alcoholism?
Great question, man.
Great question.
Don't think I've had that before.
So when I lost my children andbecame homeless, still didn't think
I had a drinking problem.
When I was on the streets for14 months, still didn't have a drinking
problem.
But one morning about.
(09:27):
It was like a Monday earlymorning, 1:00, 2:00 in the morning,
it's pouring down with rain.
I'm stumbling across the backend of Manchester where the factories
are, and I dropped down to myhands and knees and I started to
cry like a baby.
Now, here's the deal.
I wasn't crying because I'dlost my children and my wife and
my houses and my parents, theywon't speak to me.
(09:49):
Brother and sister.
For the first time in my life,right there, I realized I can't stop
drinking.
And I remember looking up tothe sky in the rain and my tears.
And I was in the offices and warehouses.
There was not a human being in sight.
And I looked up, I was crying.
I was sobbing.
My stomach was aching.
I was sobbing, sobbing.
(10:10):
I looked up to the sky and Isaid, if there's a God up there,
I can't do this on my own anymore.
30 seconds, Keith.
30, 20, I don't know how longseconds after I said, that guy come
around the corner.
He'd missed his last Biblestudy home.
He'd walked, you know, a paththat he's never walked before.
He took a shortcut he's nevertaken before.
(10:31):
He came up with me, and that'swhere my journey started.
That's amazing.
I know a lot of people whohave drinking problems and they don't
understand the impact and thedamage it does to the family.
If you're.
If you want to give a messageto someone who thinks Maybe like
you did that.
I really don't have a problemhere that I can manage this kind
(10:54):
of speak to them from thepoint of what that does to the relationships
you have with your family and friends.
Let me tell you a little story.
It's true story.
The family house got closed down.
They went back in the houseand moved into my parents.
I lasted four days of myparents because the thing was no
drinking.
And my mom had cancer at the time.
(11:15):
And apparently, you know, shedied a lot sooner than she should
because worried about me or homeless.
But I was there and I wassneaking drink into my old bedroom.
And my dad, he was a veryquiet person.
Don't really hold a conversation.
We could drive for an hourgoing to work and he would never
speak.
But he opened the bedroom doorand this is what he said to me, Keith,
he said, you've got to go, son.
(11:35):
And I'm like, what do you meanI gotta go?
He said, so he put some stuffinto a plastic bag and he walked
me down the stairs.
And I'm like, dad, you get.
It's like 11 o'clock at night.
Dad, just let me stay tonight.
I promise him you want me to do.
And he handed me that bag andhe gave me like 10, 20 pounds, which
is like 150 today maybe.
(11:56):
And he closed the door on meand Keith.
I hated that man.
I hated him for doing that for me.
That was the first time I homeless.
Many months ago, maybe twoyears ago.
Two years after that, I'm satwith my mom having coffee and my
dad's in the bar with hisfriends having a drink.
And I said, you remember thattime dad threw me out?
(12:16):
And he went, yeah, I remember that.
I said, you know what, mom?
I've never forgiven for that.
What she said almost crucified me.
She said this.
She said, Rob, 55 years ofbeing married to your father, that's
the only time I've seen him cry.
(12:38):
And it hit me, man, we destroy relationship.
We do nasty things to thepeople we love.
Because half the time we'redrunk and we don't know and it's
terrible.
But one thing we do here is ifwe take a patient on, the family
has to come on not one day aweek or one month, twice a week for
(13:00):
nine days, they come on and wedeal with their trauma.
But they have to be on boardbecause they've gone through, you
know, most, most send.
A man's an alcoholic cominghome two or three times a week and
he's drunk and he causes afist fight with mom and the kids
say this.
That is called ptsd, my dear.
And PTSD will ruin, if notkill you.
The alcoholic doesn't know.
(13:22):
He's just doesn't always do such.
Every time you get into a fistfight or an argument with, with the
wife and the children see it,it's affecting their adult life.
We don't see that.
So relationships are broken,sweet relationships are broken.
And you just do so much damage.
So by doing your own childhoodtrauma work and the trauma work and
(13:43):
what we've done through theyears realizes that I was like an
infectious disease.
Everybody got it.
Everybody got contaminated bymy infectious disease, which is alcoholism.
And a few people didn'trecover from that, you know, so very
painful.
(14:04):
Yeah, my dad had an alcoholproblem and what you just described
was kind of like my lifegrowing up.
And you, you get to the pointas you talk about the PTSD is I always
imagined I'd grow up with nomom and no dad because either he
was going to probably end uptaking her out and then himself out,
or both.
And so you kind of lived yourentire life on edge of going, when
(14:26):
am I going to be the one in the.
And the famous guy, take careof my younger brother?
And so you live your life withthat constant fear.
So people say, you know, whydon't you just have a glass of wine
or something?
No, I refuse to touch alcohol,most likely.
I just, I don't want to bethat guy.
No, no, it's really bad.
And it slips in reallysneakily as well.
You know, from the moment Itook the first drink, which is age
(14:49):
9, on stage in Liverpool,England, playing my guitar with my
auntie and uncle.
I had a musical family.
I took that first drink there.
Never forget it.
That was my downfall.
It was just a matter of timebefore it all went wrong.
Because we have these selfsabotaging tendencies that are very,
very strong.
So when we, when we tried forsomething and we're almost there,
(15:10):
we self sabotage it or we relapse.
And it was just a crazy cyclethat I saw myself in.
So after I got well, I triedto go back to everybody that I met
and really just sit down withthem and go, hey, do I, do I owe
you any money?
You know, I remember tellingme $2,000, can I please pay that
offer?
(15:30):
$10 a month or 10 pound a month.
Not one of them said no.
And 90% said, don't worry, I'mjust glad to see you.
Well, and these were guys thatliterally fired me and hated me.
You know, we go on thisdifferent journey.
But you have to go back and,you know, look at your life because
you affect.
I affect a lot of people either.
(15:51):
Well, not the bad when I.
When I was drinking, but goodnow, you know, I'm making up for
it.
And I always said.
I always said, Keith, thatwhen I.
I was.
I'm constantly working withpeople all the time, free of charge,
all the time.
When I came over here, myapartment got foreclosed on because
I couldn't pay the rent.
I couldn't pay the mortgage,you know, working with people, working
people.
And I knew that I was doingGod's work because this guy called
(16:13):
John, crazy story.
But I knew one day he'd bringmy children back, so he did.
Wow.
You talked about the journeyyou went on.
You don't recommend because itwas just that difficult.
What were some of thechallenges you faced as you tried
to get your life back in orderagain and become sober?
(16:36):
It's really hard when you'reon the streets because your dress,
the bed, the unkempt, alwaysbeing drunk.
I went to diner streets.
I had no thought patterns ofgetting off the streets.
It was crazy, but it's hard, man.
I wouldn't waste this journeyon my worst enemy.
(16:57):
But what I will say is lookingback now with the work I do, my 14
months on the street was likea semester at Harvard University
from what I learned on the streets.
Start dialogue with somebody,that journey is going to be.
You've got to be ready.
You really got to be ready.
And then one of the reasons Istill do this at my age, I'm 63.
(17:18):
Could have retired years ago,but I want to help that guy.
I want to be your Derek, whowalk around the corner, you know,
to try and encourage you totry and get help.
Not with us, just any help tomove you forward.
Because once you get on thathill with somebody who knows what
they're doing, Alcoholics areborn, drug addicts are made.
People freak out.
Don't forget, when you're allscience experts and they don't seem
(17:42):
any way out, man, because wedon't want to sit down with somebody
and tell them what we're goingthrough, that you're failing, you're
an alcoholic and you can'tstop drinking and your children hate
you.
So we don't share that.
So the stress of carrying thatand the burden of carrying that secret
becomes very, very heavy.
And, you know, there's only acouple of ways you're going to go
(18:02):
down with that.
One of them is what I did.
And then secondly is to stepout of that shadow and step into
the sunlight and the spirit,and God will lift you up higher than
you've ever been.
Ever been.
I've got everything back amillion times.
Everything.
I.
Because I work hard with people.
25% of my work is pro bono.
Every single therapist andcoach in my business, and we have
(18:25):
five offices around the world,has to carry two pro bono.
Pro bono patients that Godsent us.
And if we don't do that, he'lltake all this away.
Keith, you know this.
Yeah.
Always got to be up theredoing what I do.
I'm the loudmouth one.
I'm the one that says that.
Things that everyone else isthinking, but they don't say.
And I'm that guy.
Unfortunately.
(18:46):
Unfortunately, I'm the guythat I'm not going to sit down.
What have I got to lose?
And people don't understand this.
Alcoholics and addicts havetwo lives in one lifetime.
When they get well, is that.
I messed the first life up.
I'm not gonna mess the secondone up.
I mean, you know, I signed anoffice deal in Dallas for a million
dollars, Keith.
About six years ago, people were.
(19:06):
My staff was freaking out, andI'm like, how do you sleep at night?
I'm like, listen, how.
What.
What do you not get aboutdying on the street?
What do you not get back?
They can't do anything to methat I haven't already done to myself.
So we're going to take risk, guys.
We're going to move forward.
Calculated risk.
And that's the way I look at.
I look at.
I've.
Today is like, when people seeme, they go, you've got a lot to
(19:26):
lose.
You know, if you do this, itdoesn't work.
I got nothing to lose.
I don't care if all this goesaway tomorrow.
A wise man once said to me,always have nice things around you,
but nothing you can't walkaway with in 10 minutes.
And it's true.
But my wife and my threeEnglish bulldogs, if you put me in
(19:47):
a tent in the middle of afield where the homeless people are,
with my wife and the threeEnglish Bulldogs, I'm happy then
as I am now.
And I won't change my lifestyle.
I still help people.
So tell us about your podcast.
So my podcast, years ago, was great.
And then we come away from itbecause I was filming for a TV series
that I was on, so we pulled away.
And then about a month ago, westarted up, and we're having people
(20:11):
like Gary breakers on.
He's a biohacker he's phenomenal.
And we're having the guy toswitch the road around the corner
from us, and he's going to beon with his story.
So it's a wine.
It's called the Dopamine Hour.
It's.
It's just an anybody podcast.
You don't have to have followers.
You don't have to, you know,it could be Billy, switch the road.
Brilliant.
You have a story and peopleneed to hear that, you know, So I
(20:34):
don't like a.
Dislike the Rogans of thisworld, but you can't get on Rogue
unless you're somebody.
We don't want to do that.
We just.
We're not that guys, man.
I think everybody's got a story.
Everybody knows somebody whosuffers from alcoholism and addiction.
And again, what we do today iswe don't just cover that on the podcast.
We.
We specialize in childhoodtrauma, depression, ptsd, alcoholism,
(20:55):
drug addiction, Alzheimer's,and onset dementia.
We cover a wide range.
So usually what we do asaffected somebody who comes onto
the podcast and it's just, Ido what you do 30 minutes.
Oh, 20, 30 minutes.
Like, oh, is that all?
People cannot concentrateafter 30 minutes, you know, And I
know that your mind starts towander and it's just terrible.
(21:16):
So we smash him for 30 minutesand we go away for a week.
Yeah, because you get beyond30 minutes and all of a sudden people
like, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's true.
A guy from friends once toldme, I was.
I was doing some work withhim, and I asked him why they all
pulled out friends, and hesaid, the same as a Seinfeld.
He said the time was right.
(21:37):
If you carry on, it becomes.
Nobody watches it.
Then you become like a failureand then they cancel you.
So we want to go out on a high.
It's kind of the same as me.
I love that.
So can you share a story withsomeone your recovery program helped?
You don't need to share aname, but just kind of the story
of.
Because we like to hearsuccess stories.
So that's that day with nineand a half thousand patients.
(21:59):
Success stories and, you know,so I'll.
I'll pick one out and youmight guess, you might know, we get
caught.
We used to have a ranch inDallas, and we're exclusive A list
people only.
Major actors, major musicians,major CEOs of corporations and banks.
That's all we dealt with onone patient at a time.
We took every three months.
So he gets a call off an agent in.
(22:21):
In Cali, and.
And he said, come Over.
I can't tell you.
It is over the phone, butthere's a guy here needs your help.
Would you come over?
Would you take him back to theranch and would you stay with him
for three months while you'regetting well?
So I said, well, we need toknow who it is so we can tell you.
So we.
We said, we'll take a gamble.
So the bodyguard, me, driver'sassistant, we bowled over there.
We arrived, we' jail, andwe're there in a side room, and this
(22:47):
guy comes in.
He said, Dr.
Rob, thank you for coming.
I said, yeah.
I said, we're just waiting tofind out who it is before we decide
whether to work with him.
He's like, what do you mean,you decide?
This guy's worth a fortune.
You know, he's not now, but wecan pay you a thought.
I don't care.
I have to know if I can workwith him.
Income.
This disheveled man in.
He had handcuffs and feetchains, the foot chains, ankle chains.
(23:10):
It's the first time I'd seenankle chains.
It was like.
For me, it was like Hannibal Lecter.
But he's like, you've got tosomething really bad to have ankle
chains on.
Oh, my God.
And he pulled him in, andinstantly we all recognized him.
And he sat down and he said,you know, I'm broken.
My career, my movie career isdown the drain.
I can't do anything.
I'm suicidal.
(23:31):
And the judge wanted to puthim inside for three to five years.
That was it.
They were sick of him doing antics.
And so we went into thecourtroom, and the judge started
talking, and he said, Dr.
Kelly, could you stand up?
And I stood up.
I said, I believe there's anarrangement going to come over to
you.
And da, da, da, da.
And I said, yes, your honor.
He said, I must warn you thatif he goes missing, because he was
great at that in the past,you'll be back in my courtroom.
(23:53):
And I said, hell, no, judge,I'm not.
I'm not taking that one.
No, it's not.
Anyway, we come to an agreement.
We have.
They took their handcuffs on,we put our handcuffs on, we stuck
him on the.
The.
The private jet, we broughthim back to Dallas, and we helicoptered
them into the ranch.
And we does intense subliminalwork, psychology work, you know,
(24:14):
all this stuff.
And I don't want to say cured,but we got really a bit of his addiction
stuff and his alcohol stuff.
But two weeks before he'sgoing to leave, and I'm telling him
every day Keith, listen,you're going to be the biggest pay
act.
You're back again.
Everyone's going to know whoyou are.
You're going to be blockbuster movies.
And I told him that often thathe started to believe it.
So the energy around him was ahuge movie star, bigger than you
(24:36):
was before and you were prettybig before.
And just before he's going toleave a couple of weeks, we've got
an envelope, it's like thisthick at the front gate.
Driver goes down, picks it up,brings it to me, I get it.
He says, it's four, blah, blah.
So I take it him, I said, hey,this is for you.
And he opened it and he tookit out and it was a script for the
(24:58):
highest paid grossing movie inthe world.
And he's right up there againand he sends us texts every month
and, you know, stuff like that.
We've done huge white rapperswe've taken care of and they become
a huge success.
We've worked with anybodywho's anybody.
It's just amazing, you know,to see them.
(25:18):
And then going from that tothe other end is we picked a girl
up from a mom's house.
The hospital has sent him overto die, sent him home to die.
And desperation.
She called us, we went round, we.
I literally had to pick thegirl up from the couch.
Heroin, she was probably tookher back to the ranch and we worked
pro bono free of charge withher for three months.
(25:39):
And she got well.
And the last we knew is shewas working at a rehab center.
I was like, brilliant,brilliant, brilliant.
About two years on, I'm in ameeting and she walked in and I go,
oh, my God, why do I know ifI'm working?
Because I've got terrible faces.
She sat down, the meeting wenton at the end of me and she stood
up and she said, I just wantto thank Dr.
R.O.
kelly.
(25:59):
Well, I nearly died becauseeveryone's looking at me now.
But I was crying because shetold me that we had saved her life
and that she has two childrennow because of it.
And it must have been two orthree years after, I can't remember,
she had two children, babies.
And she owns four rehabcenters across the country.
(26:23):
And I just came out of thatmeeting, man, I sat in my car and
I subbed like a baby becausethat's the stuff we're capable of
doing today and millions ofothers around that do our job.
But that's me paid in full.
I don't get involved in themoney side of the business.
I can't do that.
But paid in full for me isseeing somebody recover and do extraordinary
(26:45):
things in their life for thefamily and for them as well.
This work that you do is difficult.
I wonder how do you keepmotivated when sometimes it doesn't
work out like you hope it does?
Because I'm sure everybodydoesn't walk out.
There's a handful of people,maybe six people it didn't work for.
Here's our secret.
(27:06):
We have an assessment.
You have to pass an assessmentto get into this program.
And we've turned a lot ofpeople down.
Million dollar checks weturned down.
So we have to be convincedthat you're going to succeed and
be ready.
So when they come along, it'sa night, it's a almost 100% that
they're going to succeed.
There's lots of them in work there.
(27:26):
We, we're not like any othercompany that dealing in the addiction
world.
We use lots of tools like 90breath work therapy and brain spotting
and stuff like that.
So the results are good forthose who don't, who get through
the assessment but turn the back.
You know, I'm harsh, man, andsome people don't like me for that.
You know, if you call me upand tell me you're gonna have a drink,
(27:49):
I go drink.
And they go, what?
You can't speak to me.
Go drink or use or depressedor whatever you want to.
There's nothing I can do.
God's brought you here, man,if you leave that I'm only human.
I told one guy, I wish I couldtell you I'm this clever, but I'm
not.
See, my job, this is my job,guys, to reach down for the gutter
(28:11):
and pick the poor guy up who'sdying of untreated alcoholism and
lift you up to God as quick asI possibly can.
That's my job.
And the rest of the stuff,it's this, guys.
That's all it is.
It's like me doing God's work.
You're doing God's work whenyou come on, passed on to somebody
else, being kind every day,complimenting three people.
(28:32):
I'm blessed enough to blesssomebody monetary every time I leave
the house.
You know, all this stuff getsme up in the morning and gets me
out to save another life.
And if we.
And this is what this Courtney Davis.
We turn down podcasts everyweek, but Courtney Davis goes out
and she's been with us a longtime and she handpicks, she hand
(28:54):
picks podcasts that she thinkstogether we save lives.
And that's how we do it.
You'll never hear me, but youknow, oh, come on.
I want you to be a patient.
Come on down.
We need work.
I'm not on here to tell youabout my business.
I'm on here to tell you thatyou can do anything you want to do.
And you've got to believethat, you know, once, once.
(29:14):
Listen.
Once the mind.
So the mind over matter mindis more powerful than the brain.
The mind can plan the brainfor a fantastic day.
When our research we've done,when our energy brain can't see it
yet, you feel connects withanother energy.
Okay.
And we do our neural pathwaychildhood trauma work.
(29:35):
Your DNA changes.
You're not the same person andthat's what we're known for.
You know, I don't take any of anybody.
I don't answer to nobody.
I dropped my psychologylicense two years ago because they
didn't like what I was doing.
But we're getting people.
Wow.
It's God's work.
You know, And I always saidjust before, like I don't care what
(29:55):
you think about me, you know,I used to look at all the comments.
Keith, oh God.
He said that.
He said.
And what I learned over timeis nobody is doing as good as you
are better will evernegatively comment on anything that
you do, first of all.
And secondly, I'm worriedabout what some guy says.
And when you research him,he's living back at his parents,
he's got divorced twice, youknow, he's got no life.
(30:17):
And he comments on me, the guyliving in the million dollar house
and you know, worth millionsand millions and millions of dollars.
25% again.
That's what we give back tothe communities.
But yeah, it's like I used to.
I don't worry anymore, man.
In fact, if you guys, any guyshere that got haters, send it to
me.
Good.
We're good.
(30:37):
That's amazing.
I'm curious as you think aboutthe recovery area that you serve
in.
How do you take what you doand maybe change the future of recovery?
Because I think like you said,so much of it is hit and miss a lot
of times.
Miss.
So if you could like transformthe alcohol and substance abuse recovery
(31:01):
business, what would it looklike in the future?
It's all about neuroscience.
So we started studyingneuroscience some time ago, before
it was neuroscience.
Because I knew that somethingwas here, not here with an experience
that I had.
So neuroscience is the future, guys.
Studies on the mind find outas much as you can about the disease
(31:21):
you have because it is a disease.
The hypothalamus Basal ganglia.
They're the guys that we haveno choice, drinking and using in
the end and find information,get knowledgeable about, you know,
what's happening now and wherethis is going.
Because the stuff we've donewith neuroscience was a game changer
for us.
(31:42):
It really was.
And this is why we're so confident.
It's like you've got to stopthinking about the alcohol.
Alcohol, drug, sex, food, pornhas 1% to do with what you're going
through.
So 1% of alcohol equals alcoholism.
That's 99% is here, 99% is.
If you knew how powerful themind was, you would kick yourself
(32:04):
first of all for not knowing sooner.
And it would open your world.
It's not hard to earn amillion dollars.
Everyone thinks it is somespecial secret.
Do something you love.
Do it with a passion.
I don't care when you do itwith a passion.
I sometimes get almostaggressive sometimes when I'm talking
about it because I love it so much.
And, and, and don't be one ofthe guys that start something and
(32:27):
never finish.
Make sure you finish everything.
Be impeccable with your word.
Be strong, be powerful, be aleader in the community is very,
very important.
You know, when I had zerodollars and they foreclosed on my
apartment in Dallas, you know,five years after I was here or something,
I kept doing the same thing.
I kept showing up at studies,I kept teaching people, I kept working
(32:49):
with people, I kept, you know,all this stuff I was doing with people
because what God was saying tome is, you need more experience from
where I'm taking you.
So when I started studyingneuroscience, everyone's like laughing
at me going, what are you doing?
The brain is the brain and themind is the mind.
There's no such thing as the mind.
And I just knew there wassomething different because of an
experience I had many years ago.
(33:11):
So yeah, man, you've got tostand up.
And so if you always sat athome, guys, I don't care where you
are, you could be a leader.
If you're in, if you're in aone bedroom partner.
Now, Lady Mrs.
Smith.
And your husband's left youbecause he's an alcoholic and he's
gone away somewhere.
This is a turning point for you.
This is a crossroads.
I love people at crossroadsbecause we start again and we take
(33:32):
a better road than we did last time.
So that, that's the deal thatkeeps me inspired.
That's the deal to keep me going.
A lot of people say you'resifted free.
Why don't you retire and do what?
Well, am I going to buy abeach house and do what?
I'll be doing this.
My guys call me now.
Financial guys, are you readyto retire?
(33:52):
63 now.
I said, if you ever, ever saythat to me again about retirement,
I'm going to pull my fundingout of you.
Because my dad once told me,Keith, he said, the day you retire
is the day you die.
And I truly believe that.
So I'm never going to.
I'll be 100 years back on yourshowing when I'm 100, I mean, you'll
be sat here rocking in ourchairs and that's what it's going
to be.
You know, that's right.
(34:14):
Of course.
We can't stop, right?
No, no.
I do want to ask thisquestion, my other favorite question
from my guest, thinking aboutwhat you're doing now, what you want
your legacy to be.
You know, I've been asked thisa lot of times and it's kind of not
changed since, since day one.
He helped a lot of people.
(34:35):
That's all.
He was kind.
People don't see how muchmoney we actually give away to wear.
We say 150 because we givethat to people who suffer from alcohol
addiction but were involved inlots of the stuff.
It was a nice guy to helppeople because when you get to this
level where you pull away fromevery other person doing this, that's
(34:56):
why we have a 98% success rateand the nearest one too is a 9% success
rate is you kind of separatefrom that.
And a lot of people are jealous.
A lot of people are jealous ofwhat I have, Keith, but they're not
jealous of how I got here.
That's the problem withsociety, you know, so nice guy, he
helped people.
(35:17):
And before I, you know, gettoo old, I want a hundred bed rehab
in San Antonio for people thatwant to get well, free of charge,
funded by governments or donations.
And in that, we're going tohave a place where you can get clothing.
We're going to have a placewhere you can get all your government
from the money.
You can get housing with allthese offices in this center where
(35:39):
you can go and say, I'mhomeless, but I need to go.
And we'll find you a place tolive with a small amount of rent.
That's what we, that's whatI'd like.
I love that.
Where can people find your book?
Daddy, daddy, please stop drinking.
So it's on Amazon, guys.
Daddy, daddy, please stopdrinking it.
(35:59):
It looks, it looks a bit like this.
It's coming along.
That's me wasted completely.
As my eldest daughter when Idid a visit back to see her when
she was about four or something.
Um, I don't know how much itis but listen on this show if you
get on and say Reverend Dr.
Keith Haney and you.
I saw, I saw you.
If you send a message to me orKeith I've got five books away here
(36:21):
that I'll personally sign toyou and send you.
I'll pay for shipping and everything.
I'm going to send it to you onone condition.
You pass this on to somebodyelse when you finish reading your
die.
Where can people connect withyou if they want to get in the program
or know someone who needs tobe in the program?
Well if you listen, if you'relistening not watching guys, I spell
(36:42):
my name with 2B so it'sR-O-B-B K E L L Y.com is the website
Dr.
Rob Kelly on any search enginein the world.
And up I'll pop come joiners.
All social medias are out there.
You can come and come and joinyou know our happy family.
And what I do want to say isfor parents that are listening right
(37:02):
now who have children and wecall kids are like from anything
from I don't know, 2 to 22that's struggling with, with addiction
or mental health or depressionand you, and you don't know where
to turn.
You call the number on thewebsite and you say I want some advice
and we'll pass you on.
My wife's one of them.
We have three people here andthey will talk to you all day long.
(37:24):
You can call back 100 times a day.
We're going to guide youthrough this.
It's never going to cost you a dime.
We're going to guide youthrough it.
We're going to help you.
They probably won't come to us.
You're someone if we don't dothat it'll be place somewhere where
you can use his insurance, youknow and you can get well in your
area but we'll do that.
So yeah always giving back man.
That's, that's the key.
So come and join us guys.
Well Dr.
(37:44):
Rob, thanks so much for takingthe time and thank you for what you
do because what you do is sovaluable in this space.
Being someone who's, who hadthat kind of in my life it's a, it's
a painful thing.
It divides families, breaksfamilies up and it destroys relationships.
It's like it could have beenso much better if we didn't have
(38:05):
the element in your life.
So, yeah.
Thank you for what you do.
Thank you, man.
It's very kind.
Thank you, guys.
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