August 29, 2025 • 33 mins
Today, we're diving into the world of midlife transformation with the incredible Eileen Caroscio, a multi-certified coach, author, and nurse who's all about helping folks live their best lives—especially those of us in midlife and beyond. Eileen, affectionately known as the Midlife Muse, encourages us to look past our titles and really connect with what makes our lives meaningful and magical. She co-authored the Amazon bestseller "Midlife New Life: Living Consciously in Midlife and Beyond," which is like a roadmap for crafting a joyous second act. We chat about the importance of resilience and intentional living, and how to bounce back from life's curveballs with a smile. So grab your favorite drink, settle in, and let's explore how to make our midlife years not just bearable, but absolutely fabulous!
In our lively discussion, we delve into the essence of midlife with Eileen Caroscio, affectionately dubbed the Midlife Muse. With her extensive background in nursing and coaching, Eileen provides a treasure trove of insights for anyone grappling with the challenges and opportunities that come with this pivotal stage in life. Eileen’s co-authored book, *Midlife New Life*, serves as a beacon for those seeking to live consciously and intentionally, advocating for a proactive approach to shaping one’s future instead of merely drifting through life.
We explore the vital themes of joy and resilience, emphasizing the necessity of not just surviving but thriving. Eileen opens up about her personal journey, reflecting on how her father's unexpected passing instilled in her the importance of living joyfully and preparing for life’s uncertainties. Her anecdotes are both poignant and relatable, as she shares practical strategies like the “conscious living wheel,” a tool designed to help individuals assess various aspects of their lives and identify areas for growth.
This episode is packed with laughter, light-hearted moments, and invaluable advice, making it a must-listen for those in midlife or anyone looking to reclaim their passion and purpose. Eileen’s vibrant personality and wealth of knowledge shine through, reminding us all that midlife is not an end but a new beginning filled with possibilities and adventures waiting to be embraced.
Takeaways:
- Eileen Caroscio, also known as the Midlife Muse, encourages individuals to embrace midlife as a chance to design their lives consciously and joyfully, rather than just going through the motions.
- Her book, 'Midlife New Life', emphasizes the importance of intentional living and developing a plan to enhance joy and resilience in the second half of life.
- Eileen shares her personal journey of transformation, highlighting how experiences can shape our perspectives and lead us to find purpose and meaning, especially after significant loss.
- One key takeaway is that midlife offers a unique opportunity to reflect on what truly matters, allowing us to create a life filled with purpose and passion, rather than just settling for the status quo.
- Eileen's approach combines creativity and coaching to help individuals identify their values, set intentions, and take actionable steps toward living a more fulfilling life.
- The conversation reminds us that our identity is not solely tied to our work; we can redefine ourselves and explore new passions and interests as we navigate midlife.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:59):
My guest today, EileenCarrasco, is a multi certified coach,
author and a nurse. She isdedicated to helping individuals
live their best life,especially those in midlife and beyond.
Referred to as the MidlifeMuse, she engages you beyond your
titles, jobs and formalitiesto get to the core of what will enrich
your midlife, making it moreresilient, meaningful and magical.
(01:23):
She she is co author theAmazon bestseller Midlife New Life,
Living Consciously in Midlifeand beyond, which focuses on the
value of giving consciousthought to how you want to live out
your second half of life. Itemphasizes the importance of developing
a plan for having more joy andresilience to bounce forward into
(01:45):
a enriched future. Eileenholds a bachelorette and math and
Masters of Science degree innursing with over 35 years of experience
and 19 years of experience asa coach. In a free time, Eileen can
often be found in nature. Shehas a fondness for foxes and can
be found with her cameracapturing their antics and escapades.
(02:07):
We welcome her to the podcast.Well, Eileen, how you doing today?
Good to have you on the podcast.
Thank you so much for theinvite. I'm glad to be here and glad
to talk with you and see whereour conversation goes.
I don't know many people nameEileen. All I can think about is
the song Come on Eileen. WhenI. When I see your name.
(02:28):
Yes, yes. And people oftenhave that as the song on their phone
when I'm calling.
There you go. But I digress.So I'd like to ask my guest this
question. What's the bestpiece of advice you ever received?
So that's a very interestingquestion. So I'd like to share with
(02:52):
you that I didn't receive thisadvice verbally. It was an experience
that I had, not particularly agood one, but it just became I realized
it. So my father died when Iwas a teenager, suddenly of a heart
attack. And I was like, oh mygosh, you know, this life is short.
(03:16):
And my father was a joyfulman. So, you know, live life joyfully.
I'm glad he lived, you know,every day happy for the most part.
The other was, oh my gosh, wehave to prepare for this. We have
to prepare for shieldingourselves from hurt and pain. We
have to prepare foruncertainty. So those two thoughts
(03:43):
or advice or focus have beenin my life all of my life, really
well weaved into the fabric ofwho I am and how I show up in the
world.
How old was your dad when hepassed away, Just out of curiosity?
He was in his 50s. He was 57,58. He Healthy man, he had some hypertension
(04:08):
and he, he was a bitoverweight and I would have loved
to have seen him, you know,live longer. He just, that was, that
was hard. So. Yeah, he was inhis 50s.
Yeah. I was wondering becausea lot of times things in our life,
trauma or events shape what weend up doing in the future. And I
(04:30):
was wondering how much thatimpacted your book on Midnight New
Life.
So it did, it impacted, youknow, that's what was my focus is
helping people prepare foruncertainty. Not like over prepare
because. Which I was doinginitially, but doing some preparation
(04:52):
and then also trusting that,you know, do you have the skills
and the talents and abilitiesand resources to help you move through?
Yeah. That's amazing. I loveto ask my guest too, especially as
we are in midlife now. Who aresome people in your life who served
as a mentor, inspiration foryou in your journey is a chance for
(05:14):
you to kind of give them ashout out and thank them for having
such an impact on you.
Yeah. What a, what a nicequestion. So I would have to say
my parents, they were bothvery kind people. My father was a
joyful, spontaneous, had goodsense of humor and my mother was
(05:35):
a planner and more serious. SoI learned from them those traits,
you know, joyfulness andplanning and try to balance them
out. And then two more people,one was, is one is my husband. Wonderful
support. He has a wellbalanced life, great model and always
(05:57):
has been there for me and formany people. And then also his mom,
which was a very interestinglady, amazing lady. So she always
had people coming to, to visither people. She always had something
in the oven. I don't know, theoven was on 247 but there was always
something coming out of theoven. There was always coff. And
(06:19):
the joke was that she was bornwith potholder hands and a serve
serving tray in her hands. Andwhat was neat about her was she,
I guess she nurtured peoplein, in the conversations she had
and she nourished people withher food. So her sense of hospitality
is a, is another thing that I,I bring in to my personal and professional
(06:42):
life. Those people I stand on,on guess the shoulders of many mentors,
but those four.
Well that's so cool. I loveit. And you. And you brought in your
mother in law. That's alwayskind of cool.
Yeah. What a neat lady. Andwhen she died there was hundreds
of people get trying to get into the church to pay respect. She
touched that many people'slives. What an interesting and kind
(07:07):
lady.
See, that's what I want I wantmy funeral to be where it's at a
stadium, but I don't know ifthat's going to happen.
It might be. It won't for along time.
That's right, exactly. Eileen,you've had a very rich and diverse
career. A nurse, a coach, anew author. What inspired your transition
(07:31):
into coaching, particularlywhen you talk about midlife and beyond?
We talked a little bit about,you know, your father, but what else
kind of led you to this, thisnew avenue in your life?
Yeah, yeah. So one of thethings that I loved about my work,
I worked at a hospital, 904bed hospital, very big teaching hospital.
(07:51):
I loved the patients that Ihad. They were all midlife and beyond
people. So I was familiar, youknow, with their physical illness.
I was familiar with how thingswent around, how that illness impacted
them. So that was one thing,the comfort with that. And also I
saw technology coming in. Andso it's great to have technology
(08:11):
for diagnosis and helpingtreat patients, but in the room,
I actually had two patients. Ihad my patients who I wanted to direct
my attention to, but I had themachine and I had to tend to the
machine. It's alarms, it'scalling me, titrating the machine.
So the technology kind of tookme away from the most important person,
(08:35):
even though it was anassistance there. The other thing
was 9 11. So I live in D.C.washington, Virginia area. Pentagon
was like 10 minutes from ourhospital. And 911 happened. So people
were more focused on not only,okay, I want to be healthier, I want
to get better, but I want to.I want to do what's important, I
(08:55):
want to have a meaningfullife. And then the last thing that
inspired me was like, Ithought was kind of a kick from somewhere,
but I was in my garden. I wasgardening. I don't. I really don't
know what I tripped over, butI broke my wrist. I fell forward,
I broke my wrist and Icouldn't work. And as a nurse in
the hospital, and I developedcomplications. So I used that time
(09:18):
I could use my left hand and Iexplored how could I expand my services
to expand, you know, beyondthe physical realm. And I found coaching.
And that's. That's how I gotinto it.
So you almost like trippedinto coaching?
Yeah. Yes. I guess it wasmeant to be. I felt like it was a
(09:42):
nudge or maybe it was a. Akick forward, a whole new meaning.
To stumble into something. Butyes. So you. You can. You have a
neat title. The Midlife Muse.My. My title is kind of my own created
title. The man, myth andlegend. But I'm curious about your
(10:03):
title. How did you come to upwith that, Tyler, and kind of tell
us what it means for you.
Okay, so that title or phrasecame about. I was teaching a class,
and it was called CreativeLife Design for those in Midlife
and Beyond. And I had taken alot of creativity classes, and I'm
(10:23):
gonna. I said that, you know,I have, you know, writing prompts
and I have exercises, and thisis going to tap into your creativity
because that's where all thefun is. And so I said, this will
be like accessing your ownpersonal muse. And so one person
says, oh, well, you're ourmidlife muse. I was like, oh, that's
kind of neat. And so it kindof stuck. And then another client
(10:48):
who never took this class hadsaid that to me. And I thought, there's.
There's some. There's. There'ssomething there. And then for me,
it just means that I helppeople just discover what's important
to them, what's fun, what willhave their life being more alive
for them.
I love that. So your new book,you co author with others, the Midlife
(11:12):
New Life, Consciously Livingand Midlife Emphasizes kind of living
consciously. What does thatlook like in practical terms to people
who are either on thedoorsteps of midlife or kind of right
smack dab in the middle of midlife?
Yeah. Yeah. So Paul Ward, whohad the idea for writing this book,
and Sandy Demer is my cowriters, we believe about it's not
(11:38):
just being on autopilotbecause we've lived so much time
and now we have time left. Andso we want to be conscious. We want
to be intentional about whatthat next life looks like and designing
it. And so it can be very, youknow, practical. So you can expand
it. So one is like a consciouscheck in. So let's say Keith career.
(12:02):
And you have something, youknow, some questions about where
to go forward and liveconsciously in that area. You do
a conscious check in. Youknow, what's important to me now?
How will this impact otherareas of my life, how I make decisions?
How will that play out? Sothat's maybe like a short check in,
a conscious check check in.And then we developed a wheel which
(12:24):
was called a conscious livingwheel. And it. It's 11 spokes to
that wheel with our lifepurpose right in the middle of that.
And so you could expand thatto look at your whole life practical
and saying, oh, what do I wantto do in career? What do I want to
do in relationships? You know,how Is this now? And how would it
(12:44):
be? And then because our wheelhas 11 components or spokes to it,
I mean you could expand it andtake the whole year and say, okay,
for the month of January, I'mgoing to start out with career or
I might want to say, I want todo some things with my health. And
so that's the practicality ofit. You look to see where the gap
(13:05):
is and then you create your,your vision.
What was it like writing abook with other authors? I mean,
I did my own and it was justme had to fight with myself about
creative ideas here and there.But what's it like writing, co authoring
a book with other people?
Yeah, that's a very goodquestion. So it was very positive.
(13:25):
Like I said, Paul had the ideaand he had 35 people that he, he
put out an email, says, I'minterested in writing a book with
others and I'm looking fortwo, you know, co authors. And he
had 35 people. And I would saythat Paul was kind of an alchemist
because he picked to Sandy andI to, you know, to work with him.
(13:48):
We're all, you know, equalpartners in this, but we all have
different personalities and weall had different specialties. But
somehow, you know, we gotalong really well. We met initially,
we met every Monday and youknow, for hours and we worked on
things. It was a lot of work.It was a lot of joy. There were things
(14:11):
that we didn't agree on and wefelt we had a two to one type of
decision making. But for themost part it was a very good experience.
And I know not everybody hasthat, but I like my colleagues and
we worked hard to get that endresult and I think it was positive.
(14:35):
And there's still things tofigure out as we go forward with
marketing of our book and presenting.
So you have 11 chapters, kindof like 11 spokes in your wheel.
Of those spokes, which oneresonates most with you?
Oh, resilience. That goes backto, you know, how are we going to
(14:55):
prepare and figure things outand how can we soften those really
sharp edges of some changesthat are, that are painful and some
of them are about our impermanence.
I love that. So how's yourbook being received? I, I saw some
of the reviews. You had a lotof really great reviews in the book.
(15:16):
How's it being received in theworld now?
Thank you. Yeah, the book isdoing well. It's re being received
well. We're getting a lot ofgood comments about it, how it's
helpful. I Just came back froma place called Chautauqua Institution
and, and presented a three dayclass on what else? Resilience. And
(15:39):
that went over really well.People wanted me to sign their book.
So I'm happy with the results.And that's important to us because
we have a message that, youknow, midlife is a time to, for possibilities
and you know, what can we dowith that? What could I. Okay, so
when I work with my clients, Ialways have like a little, you know,
(16:02):
canvas.
Oh, that's so cute.
And what are we going to puton it? We all have our, you know,
skills and talents and lifeexperience. So it's not an empty
canvas. But you know, youmight want to rearrange things and
move things around and addthings and take these, take things
off.
Can you, can you think of astory of a client you work, you've
(16:23):
coached with some of thethings you're learning in midlife
that resonates with you abouthow they receive things, information
or progressed?
Yeah, that's, that's a, a goodquestion. I work with people sometimes
in the intelligence community,so they're very focused on mission,
(16:45):
they're very hard workingpeople and their identity is very
much tied up with who theyare. So it takes a while for, for
them to kind of think aboutwho they might be without their work
because they are their work.They've done very well with that
(17:06):
and, and all other areas ofdifferent types of work. And let's
see, do I, I don't necessarilywant to identify a.
No, you don't want to do that.
Yeah, but it's making it fun.And so I'm a list person. I get a
(17:29):
lot done with lists and I tooka lot of creativity classes because
there's more than one rightanswer. There's more than one way
to figure out what to do. Andcreativity is like the magic potion
to get you there. So allowingthem to tap into their own creativity
(17:51):
and think of ways to, to dothat. So I may suggest, hey, you
know, why don't you go andtake a field trip to a bookstore
and see what interests youbecause they've been so busy, they've
been overseas, they don't,they haven't really thought about
themselves. They just knowthey don't want to do what they're
doing any, anymore. And sothinking of positive ways, different
(18:12):
books, they like experiencesto get them out of their mind and
more into fun.
Are you discovering that yourclients maybe more than anything
else. There's one commonhurdle that most people face with
this whole midlife Transition.
(18:34):
Yeah. That's interesting.That's an interesting question, Keith.
Identity perhaps is a realchallenge just because I think maybe
the area where I live, wherepeople are very, I don't want to
say workaholics, but veryfocused on, on their work and, and
left other components of thatwheel, like relationships, like fun,
(18:57):
like creativity, like maybesaving or helping, you know, humanity.
And this is where they cantake all of their, their talents
and their skills and theirability and, and because they want
to do something, they'redoers, but they also want to enjoy
life. And so as you're, youare a bridge builder. You can be
(19:19):
a bridge builder to others,you can help people or have a special
cause. And they like thatidea, like moving forward to helping,
being a mentor or civicengagement, a community garden. People
have a lot of differenttalents that they can bring from
their past. But identity, Iguess what would be, you know, the,
(19:41):
the issue who they want to be,how do they want to spend their time,
purpose and meaning.
So you are just become anAmazon best selling author. Congratulations
on the work that you did.
Thank you.
What's been the mostsurprising part about that aspect
of publishing the book?
About, like publishing the book.
(20:02):
Oh, about becoming, becoming abest selling author.
Oh, okay I guess is the ideaof writing a book in itself. It was
a four year journey for us. Alot of work, a lot of research. We,
we interviewed more than 50people and that was very interesting
and exciting to, to listen topeople's stories. And then so that,
(20:29):
you know, writing journey wasfour years and then we were like
yay, we, we did it. We. Lookwhat we did. We, we, we published
that book and it's out thereand it's doing well. But there's
another part is marketing andsharing what you, you do. And so
we find that, you know, doingpodcasts and like talking to people
(20:52):
like you, Keith, about thevalue we feel we, we bring with our
books. So that's a new, a newpath and we're always learning and
seeing how that goes. It'sbeen fun. It's also been a challenging
and you know, finding the, theright podcast and yours is, is very
(21:16):
good because you have a lotof, of interesting people that come
with different, like aboutuniting our nation, about. I like
the idea of bridge building sofinding the ones that resonate with
us and with people that we'retrying to reach.
So for the young writer who'sout there, who's about to publish,
(21:39):
what advice do you have for,for young authors?
That's an, that's A good one,too. So advice for young authors
is. Is to do it. You. You haveprobably a lot to contribute. Find
out. There's, you know, we. Wehave access now to the inter Internet
(22:02):
to find out, you know, what isyour area of expertise and, and share
that. Even if it's a smallbook, it's a way to start. There's
a lot of writing supportgroups out there. There's writing
prompts, there's. There'swriting groups that you can share
your writing with. So, yeah,do it. It's a create creative thread
(22:25):
that, you know, you can sharewith, you know, your family, your
friends, and you can add toit. You can have a series, you have
a podcast.
You can have a podcast. So forthe person who is midlife and they're
feeling stuck right now, andthey're just kind of coming to you
going, is there just a smallstep I can take to just get out of
(22:46):
this feeling of just beingstuck in one place?
Well, I have. My initialthought was, oh, gosh, do something
fun. Get out of the house and,And. And get away from it. And then
the other thing, the otherpart is like the plan part. Just
(23:09):
take a sheet of paper and seewhat is important to you now. What
is important to you. You. You.You write those down. And that can
be your. Your compass, becausethat can be your values. We operate
from our values, what'simportant to us, and that will lead,
you know, to your next step.Oh, how could I. That's important
to me. So how could I. Ifollow music, the path of music.
(23:33):
What could I do with that? OrI like to read or like to help, you
know, young kids, you know,develop skills in acting. It could
be any, anything, butwhatever, like, makes you feel alive
and, and write that down. AndI, I use this in my classes, but
Martin Luther King said, youknow, you don't have to see the whole
darn staircase. Just see thefirst step to get you going. And
(23:57):
that could be a good firststep for you.
I love it. So. Well, somethingnew I've started on a podcast this
year is we. We have a surprisequestion. You have to pick a number
between 1 and 4 for yoursurprise question.
Oh, wow. Any number. So I'mgonna say four.
(24:18):
All right, number questionnumber four. If you were stranded
on a desert island and youcould choose one person to keep you
company, who would it be?
Oh, that's a. That's aninteresting one. I would say my husband.
I mean, he's a great guy. He'sa lot of fun. We have a Lot of conversation
(24:43):
together. He loves nature.We're. He has a lot of interest.
So I'd say my husband.
That's a good, safe one.
Yeah. Yeah. Number four waspretty good. Oh, Keith.
(25:04):
Oh, my word. So what does amagical look midlife look like to
you? If you're trying todefine it for yourself, what does
a magical midlife look likefor you?
Yeah, Yeah, I would say isdoing what I love to do, which is
my passion. My passion projectis working with people with. Figuring
(25:25):
out what do they want to donext and. And allowing. Not allowing
them, but providing a platformfor them to. To think creatively.
But it also is likesprinkling, you know, your day with
fun things. So simple, simplethings that don't cost anything.
Going out at night, looking atthe stars. The other night, we have
(25:48):
fireflies or lightning bugs,whatever you call them. But oh, my
gosh, you cannot capture themon camera. They're too magical. But
they light up the sky and thefields, and I'm. I'm in awe over
that. So those types of thingsjust, you know, with nature. I love
going to new restaurants. Wetried a new Indian restaurant the
(26:12):
other day. Different foods,great conversations with people.
You know, I'm always curiousabout what motivates person. How
did you decide this versusthis? How did you get there? How
did you choose that? So greatconversations. Just adding those
things that you love. And sofor me, that's what it looks like.
(26:35):
What does it look like foryou? Number one question. There's
a question for you.
That's a good question. Forme, it's. I'm learning to. I'm kind
of reflecting back on becauseI just finished my doctorate degree
in my. In my midlife. So Iguess it's part of. Part of my midlife
crisis. I wasn't reallyplanning on doing that. So now I'm
(26:55):
deciding, you know, what do Ido with all this education I just
spent the last three yearsgetting so I wanted. My new book
was like, I need to put thisinto a format that people want to
read. Nobody wants to read mydissertation with all the different
charts and all that, unlessyou're a geek. So how do I communicate
this in a way that people cantake it and actually utilize all
(27:16):
the things that I learned? SoI'm trying to figure out how to do
that in my next phase of life.
Yeah, well, what would make it fun?
That means that is fun becauseI'm trying to solve a problem that
I've been working on for mostof my. My career of how to help Churches
to make changes effectively. So.
Yeah. Well, it sounds likethat book is. Is. Is going to be.
(27:40):
Is a really good one becauseyou talk about how they were resilient
and how more people werecoming back into the church. And
I want to read about it so inmy next. In my interview with you.
Yeah, there you go. In ourinterview together, right?
Yeah.
So, Eileen, as you think aboutyour midlife journey, what do you
(28:04):
want your legacy to be?
I want. Want my legacy to bethat I made a difference in people's
lives. So as a nurse, I, Ilighten the load. I made their recovery
smoother, easier. I helpedthem be more resilient. I hope that
(28:28):
my legacy would be. I helpedthem also people that in midlife,
to be bridge builders to thenext part of their life where they
can have maybe more of like alife designed on purpose, the intentionality
of it. And also, you know, weaccumulate items, things, but we
(28:51):
also accumulate gifts andtalents and skills and knowledge
and to share from thatoverflow and to bring it forward
and give it back and be abridge builder to maybe a mentor,
because you certainly get andreceive more than you. You give in
these experiences for. Forsure. So that's what I'd like my
(29:14):
legacy to be.
That's great. So as you wrapup our conversation, what key takeaways
do you want to leave with themidlife crisis people in your.
Well, midlife is not always acrisis. It can be a crossroads. It
can be an invitation to seewhat you might want to create and
(29:39):
put on your. Your canvas. Sothe, the takeaway is don't miss it.
It's an opportunity like 19,24, 100 years ago, we were probably
living to 55. Now we have 30more years or 25 to 30 more years.
So they're bonus years. Whatwill you do with them? They're. They're
(30:00):
for you. They're a gift of, oftime. And if you're intentional,
you can get more of what youwant or just to think about it to.
To make good on that gift yougot and enjoy it.
So where can people, where canpeople find your book the Midlife
(30:20):
New Life and connect with youon social media?
So the book is at Amazon andit's at Barnes and Noble and I'm
on LinkedIn, I'm on X, I'm onFacebook and that they could reach
me@passageways coaching.netand I'm very open to, you know, conversation
(30:47):
or, or questions. So they canemail me at Eileen E I A L E E N
atpassageways coaching.net.
Well, Eileen, thanks so muchfor writing this book, helping us
all to remember that we dohave purpose. And if we find that
(31:07):
purpose, identify with that,it makes that midlife transition
a little bit easier for us aswe can pour into something new, the
next chapter of our life, andlive out Those next, hopefully 30
years or so more fruitfullyand more enjoyably.
Yes. Yes. Thank you. Thankyou. I also want to share that if
people wanted to take thethinking on midlife further, that
(31:31):
if they go to midlife newlife.net they can download a free
chapter and they can alsodownload. There are about 20 questions,
but they're like five fromeach chapter to be more reflective.
And so that would be somethingthat, you know, you could take it
further and. And see wherethat goes. This has been. This has
(31:54):
been great. I enjoy talkingwith you, Keith. I really have. And
I wish you the best, and Ithank you for the invitation. And
this has been fun.
Well, thank you. I appreciatethat. I like it when my guests say
it's fun, as opposed to almostthe worst 30 minutes of my life.
That would not be fun.
(32:17):
Well, Eileen, blessings on thework that you guys have done. You
guys have put together aphenomenal resource for. For those
of us who are going throughmidlife and looking forward to it
and enjoying the time that Godhas given us.
Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Well, Iwish you well, and I look to read
more about you and your book, too.
(32:37):
Thank you. I appreciate it.
My guest today, EileenCarrasco, is a multi certified coach,
author and a nurse. She isdedicated to helping individuals
live their best life,especially those in midlife and beyond.
Referred to as the MidlifeMuse, she engages you beyond your
titles, jobs and formalitiesto get to the core of what will enrich
your midlife, making it moreresilient, meaningful and magical.
(01:23):
She she is co author theAmazon bestseller Midlife New Life,
Living Consciously in Midlifeand beyond, which focuses on the
value of giving consciousthought to how you want to live out
your second half of life. Itemphasizes the importance of developing
a plan for having more joy andresilience to bounce forward into
(01:45):
a enriched future. Eileenholds a bachelorette and math and
Masters of Science degree innursing with over 35 years of experience
and 19 years of experience asa coach. In a free time, Eileen can
often be found in nature. Shehas a fondness for foxes and can
be found with her cameracapturing their antics and escapades.
(02:07):
We welcome her to the podcast.Well, Eileen, how you doing today?
Good to have you on the podcast.
Thank you so much for theinvite. I'm glad to be here and glad
to talk with you and see whereour conversation goes.
I don't know many people nameEileen. All I can think about is
the song Come on Eileen. WhenI. When I see your name.
(02:28):
Yes, yes. And people oftenhave that as the song on their phone
when I'm calling.
There you go. But I digress.So I'd like to ask my guest this
question. What's the bestpiece of advice you ever received?
So that's a very interestingquestion. So I'd like to share with
(02:52):
you that I didn't receive thisadvice verbally. It was an experience
that I had, not particularly agood one, but it just became I realized
it. So my father died when Iwas a teenager, suddenly of a heart
attack. And I was like, oh mygosh, you know, this life is short.
(03:16):
And my father was a joyfulman. So, you know, live life joyfully.
I'm glad he lived, you know,every day happy for the most part.
The other was, oh my gosh, wehave to prepare for this. We have
to prepare for shieldingourselves from hurt and pain. We
have to prepare foruncertainty. So those two thoughts
(03:43):
or advice or focus have beenin my life all of my life, really
well weaved into the fabric ofwho I am and how I show up in the
world.
How old was your dad when hepassed away, Just out of curiosity?
He was in his 50s. He was 57,58. He Healthy man, he had some hypertension
(04:08):
and he, he was a bitoverweight and I would have loved
to have seen him, you know,live longer. He just, that was, that
was hard. So. Yeah, he was inhis 50s.
Yeah. I was wondering becausea lot of times things in our life,
trauma or events shape what weend up doing in the future. And I
(04:30):
was wondering how much thatimpacted your book on Midnight New
Life.
So it did, it impacted, youknow, that's what was my focus is
helping people prepare foruncertainty. Not like over prepare
because. Which I was doinginitially, but doing some preparation
(04:52):
and then also trusting that,you know, do you have the skills
and the talents and abilitiesand resources to help you move through?
Yeah. That's amazing. I loveto ask my guest too, especially as
we are in midlife now. Who aresome people in your life who served
as a mentor, inspiration foryou in your journey is a chance for
(05:14):
you to kind of give them ashout out and thank them for having
such an impact on you.
Yeah. What a, what a nicequestion. So I would have to say
my parents, they were bothvery kind people. My father was a
joyful, spontaneous, had goodsense of humor and my mother was
(05:35):
a planner and more serious. SoI learned from them those traits,
you know, joyfulness andplanning and try to balance them
out. And then two more people,one was, is one is my husband. Wonderful
support. He has a wellbalanced life, great model and always
(05:57):
has been there for me and formany people. And then also his mom,
which was a very interestinglady, amazing lady. So she always
had people coming to, to visither people. She always had something
in the oven. I don't know, theoven was on 247 but there was always
something coming out of theoven. There was always coff. And
(06:19):
the joke was that she was bornwith potholder hands and a serve
serving tray in her hands. Andwhat was neat about her was she,
I guess she nurtured peoplein, in the conversations she had
and she nourished people withher food. So her sense of hospitality
is a, is another thing that I,I bring in to my personal and professional
(06:42):
life. Those people I stand on,on guess the shoulders of many mentors,
but those four.
Well that's so cool. I loveit. And you. And you brought in your
mother in law. That's alwayskind of cool.
Yeah. What a neat lady. Andwhen she died there was hundreds
of people get trying to get into the church to pay respect. She
touched that many people'slives. What an interesting and kind
(07:07):
lady.
See, that's what I want I wantmy funeral to be where it's at a
stadium, but I don't know ifthat's going to happen.
It might be. It won't for along time.
That's right, exactly. Eileen,you've had a very rich and diverse
career. A nurse, a coach, anew author. What inspired your transition
(07:31):
into coaching, particularlywhen you talk about midlife and beyond?
We talked a little bit about,you know, your father, but what else
kind of led you to this, thisnew avenue in your life?
Yeah, yeah. So one of thethings that I loved about my work,
I worked at a hospital, 904bed hospital, very big teaching hospital.
(07:51):
I loved the patients that Ihad. They were all midlife and beyond
people. So I was familiar, youknow, with their physical illness.
I was familiar with how thingswent around, how that illness impacted
them. So that was one thing,the comfort with that. And also I
saw technology coming in. Andso it's great to have technology
(08:11):
for diagnosis and helpingtreat patients, but in the room,
I actually had two patients. Ihad my patients who I wanted to direct
my attention to, but I had themachine and I had to tend to the
machine. It's alarms, it'scalling me, titrating the machine.
So the technology kind of tookme away from the most important person,
(08:35):
even though it was anassistance there. The other thing
was 9 11. So I live in D.C.washington, Virginia area. Pentagon
was like 10 minutes from ourhospital. And 911 happened. So people
were more focused on not only,okay, I want to be healthier, I want
to get better, but I want to.I want to do what's important, I
(08:55):
want to have a meaningfullife. And then the last thing that
inspired me was like, Ithought was kind of a kick from somewhere,
but I was in my garden. I wasgardening. I don't. I really don't
know what I tripped over, butI broke my wrist. I fell forward,
I broke my wrist and Icouldn't work. And as a nurse in
the hospital, and I developedcomplications. So I used that time
(09:18):
I could use my left hand and Iexplored how could I expand my services
to expand, you know, beyondthe physical realm. And I found coaching.
And that's. That's how I gotinto it.
So you almost like trippedinto coaching?
Yeah. Yes. I guess it wasmeant to be. I felt like it was a
(09:42):
nudge or maybe it was a. Akick forward, a whole new meaning.
To stumble into something. Butyes. So you. You can. You have a
neat title. The Midlife Muse.My. My title is kind of my own created
title. The man, myth andlegend. But I'm curious about your
(10:03):
title. How did you come to upwith that, Tyler, and kind of tell
us what it means for you.
Okay, so that title or phrasecame about. I was teaching a class,
and it was called CreativeLife Design for those in Midlife
and Beyond. And I had taken alot of creativity classes, and I'm
(10:23):
gonna. I said that, you know,I have, you know, writing prompts
and I have exercises, and thisis going to tap into your creativity
because that's where all thefun is. And so I said, this will
be like accessing your ownpersonal muse. And so one person
says, oh, well, you're ourmidlife muse. I was like, oh, that's
kind of neat. And so it kindof stuck. And then another client
(10:48):
who never took this class hadsaid that to me. And I thought, there's.
There's some. There's. There'ssomething there. And then for me,
it just means that I helppeople just discover what's important
to them, what's fun, what willhave their life being more alive
for them.
I love that. So your new book,you co author with others, the Midlife
(11:12):
New Life, Consciously Livingand Midlife Emphasizes kind of living
consciously. What does thatlook like in practical terms to people
who are either on thedoorsteps of midlife or kind of right
smack dab in the middle of midlife?
Yeah. Yeah. So Paul Ward, whohad the idea for writing this book,
and Sandy Demer is my cowriters, we believe about it's not
(11:38):
just being on autopilotbecause we've lived so much time
and now we have time left. Andso we want to be conscious. We want
to be intentional about whatthat next life looks like and designing
it. And so it can be very, youknow, practical. So you can expand
it. So one is like a consciouscheck in. So let's say Keith career.
(12:02):
And you have something, youknow, some questions about where
to go forward and liveconsciously in that area. You do
a conscious check in. Youknow, what's important to me now?
How will this impact otherareas of my life, how I make decisions?
How will that play out? Sothat's maybe like a short check in,
a conscious check check in.And then we developed a wheel which
(12:24):
was called a conscious livingwheel. And it. It's 11 spokes to
that wheel with our lifepurpose right in the middle of that.
And so you could expand thatto look at your whole life practical
and saying, oh, what do I wantto do in career? What do I want to
do in relationships? You know,how Is this now? And how would it
(12:44):
be? And then because our wheelhas 11 components or spokes to it,
I mean you could expand it andtake the whole year and say, okay,
for the month of January, I'mgoing to start out with career or
I might want to say, I want todo some things with my health. And
so that's the practicality ofit. You look to see where the gap
(13:05):
is and then you create your,your vision.
What was it like writing abook with other authors? I mean,
I did my own and it was justme had to fight with myself about
creative ideas here and there.But what's it like writing, co authoring
a book with other people?
Yeah, that's a very goodquestion. So it was very positive.
(13:25):
Like I said, Paul had the ideaand he had 35 people that he, he
put out an email, says, I'minterested in writing a book with
others and I'm looking fortwo, you know, co authors. And he
had 35 people. And I would saythat Paul was kind of an alchemist
because he picked to Sandy andI to, you know, to work with him.
(13:48):
We're all, you know, equalpartners in this, but we all have
different personalities and weall had different specialties. But
somehow, you know, we gotalong really well. We met initially,
we met every Monday and youknow, for hours and we worked on
things. It was a lot of work.It was a lot of joy. There were things
(14:11):
that we didn't agree on and wefelt we had a two to one type of
decision making. But for themost part it was a very good experience.
And I know not everybody hasthat, but I like my colleagues and
we worked hard to get that endresult and I think it was positive.
(14:35):
And there's still things tofigure out as we go forward with
marketing of our book and presenting.
So you have 11 chapters, kindof like 11 spokes in your wheel.
Of those spokes, which oneresonates most with you?
Oh, resilience. That goes backto, you know, how are we going to
(14:55):
prepare and figure things outand how can we soften those really
sharp edges of some changesthat are, that are painful and some
of them are about our impermanence.
I love that. So how's yourbook being received? I, I saw some
of the reviews. You had a lotof really great reviews in the book.
(15:16):
How's it being received in theworld now?
Thank you. Yeah, the book isdoing well. It's re being received
well. We're getting a lot ofgood comments about it, how it's
helpful. I Just came back froma place called Chautauqua Institution
and, and presented a three dayclass on what else? Resilience. And
(15:39):
that went over really well.People wanted me to sign their book.
So I'm happy with the results.And that's important to us because
we have a message that, youknow, midlife is a time to, for possibilities
and you know, what can we dowith that? What could I. Okay, so
when I work with my clients, Ialways have like a little, you know,
(16:02):
canvas.
Oh, that's so cute.
And what are we going to puton it? We all have our, you know,
skills and talents and lifeexperience. So it's not an empty
canvas. But you know, youmight want to rearrange things and
move things around and addthings and take these, take things
off.
Can you, can you think of astory of a client you work, you've
(16:23):
coached with some of thethings you're learning in midlife
that resonates with you abouthow they receive things, information
or progressed?
Yeah, that's, that's a, a goodquestion. I work with people sometimes
in the intelligence community,so they're very focused on mission,
(16:45):
they're very hard workingpeople and their identity is very
much tied up with who theyare. So it takes a while for, for
them to kind of think aboutwho they might be without their work
because they are their work.They've done very well with that
(17:06):
and, and all other areas ofdifferent types of work. And let's
see, do I, I don't necessarilywant to identify a.
No, you don't want to do that.
Yeah, but it's making it fun.And so I'm a list person. I get a
(17:29):
lot done with lists and I tooka lot of creativity classes because
there's more than one rightanswer. There's more than one way
to figure out what to do. Andcreativity is like the magic potion
to get you there. So allowingthem to tap into their own creativity
(17:51):
and think of ways to, to dothat. So I may suggest, hey, you
know, why don't you go andtake a field trip to a bookstore
and see what interests youbecause they've been so busy, they've
been overseas, they don't,they haven't really thought about
themselves. They just knowthey don't want to do what they're
doing any, anymore. And sothinking of positive ways, different
(18:12):
books, they like experiencesto get them out of their mind and
more into fun.
Are you discovering that yourclients maybe more than anything
else. There's one commonhurdle that most people face with
this whole midlife Transition.
(18:34):
Yeah. That's interesting.That's an interesting question, Keith.
Identity perhaps is a realchallenge just because I think maybe
the area where I live, wherepeople are very, I don't want to
say workaholics, but veryfocused on, on their work and, and
left other components of thatwheel, like relationships, like fun,
(18:57):
like creativity, like maybesaving or helping, you know, humanity.
And this is where they cantake all of their, their talents
and their skills and theirability and, and because they want
to do something, they'redoers, but they also want to enjoy
life. And so as you're, youare a bridge builder. You can be
(19:19):
a bridge builder to others,you can help people or have a special
cause. And they like thatidea, like moving forward to helping,
being a mentor or civicengagement, a community garden. People
have a lot of differenttalents that they can bring from
their past. But identity, Iguess what would be, you know, the,
(19:41):
the issue who they want to be,how do they want to spend their time,
purpose and meaning.
So you are just become anAmazon best selling author. Congratulations
on the work that you did.
Thank you.
What's been the mostsurprising part about that aspect
of publishing the book?
About, like publishing the book.
(20:02):
Oh, about becoming, becoming abest selling author.
Oh, okay I guess is the ideaof writing a book in itself. It was
a four year journey for us. Alot of work, a lot of research. We,
we interviewed more than 50people and that was very interesting
and exciting to, to listen topeople's stories. And then so that,
(20:29):
you know, writing journey wasfour years and then we were like
yay, we, we did it. We. Lookwhat we did. We, we, we published
that book and it's out thereand it's doing well. But there's
another part is marketing andsharing what you, you do. And so
we find that, you know, doingpodcasts and like talking to people
(20:52):
like you, Keith, about thevalue we feel we, we bring with our
books. So that's a new, a newpath and we're always learning and
seeing how that goes. It'sbeen fun. It's also been a challenging
and you know, finding the, theright podcast and yours is, is very
(21:16):
good because you have a lotof, of interesting people that come
with different, like aboutuniting our nation, about. I like
the idea of bridge building sofinding the ones that resonate with
us and with people that we'retrying to reach.
So for the young writer who'sout there, who's about to publish,
(21:39):
what advice do you have for,for young authors?
That's an, that's A good one,too. So advice for young authors
is. Is to do it. You. You haveprobably a lot to contribute. Find
out. There's, you know, we. Wehave access now to the inter Internet
(22:02):
to find out, you know, what isyour area of expertise and, and share
that. Even if it's a smallbook, it's a way to start. There's
a lot of writing supportgroups out there. There's writing
prompts, there's. There'swriting groups that you can share
your writing with. So, yeah,do it. It's a create creative thread
(22:25):
that, you know, you can sharewith, you know, your family, your
friends, and you can add toit. You can have a series, you have
a podcast.
You can have a podcast. So forthe person who is midlife and they're
feeling stuck right now, andthey're just kind of coming to you
going, is there just a smallstep I can take to just get out of
(22:46):
this feeling of just beingstuck in one place?
Well, I have. My initialthought was, oh, gosh, do something
fun. Get out of the house and,And. And get away from it. And then
the other thing, the otherpart is like the plan part. Just
(23:09):
take a sheet of paper and seewhat is important to you now. What
is important to you. You. You.You write those down. And that can
be your. Your compass, becausethat can be your values. We operate
from our values, what'simportant to us, and that will lead,
you know, to your next step.Oh, how could I. That's important
to me. So how could I. Ifollow music, the path of music.
(23:33):
What could I do with that? OrI like to read or like to help, you
know, young kids, you know,develop skills in acting. It could
be any, anything, butwhatever, like, makes you feel alive
and, and write that down. AndI, I use this in my classes, but
Martin Luther King said, youknow, you don't have to see the whole
darn staircase. Just see thefirst step to get you going. And
(23:57):
that could be a good firststep for you.
I love it. So. Well, somethingnew I've started on a podcast this
year is we. We have a surprisequestion. You have to pick a number
between 1 and 4 for yoursurprise question.
Oh, wow. Any number. So I'mgonna say four.
(24:18):
All right, number questionnumber four. If you were stranded
on a desert island and youcould choose one person to keep you
company, who would it be?
Oh, that's a. That's aninteresting one. I would say my husband.
I mean, he's a great guy. He'sa lot of fun. We have a Lot of conversation
(24:43):
together. He loves nature.We're. He has a lot of interest.
So I'd say my husband.
That's a good, safe one.
Yeah. Yeah. Number four waspretty good. Oh, Keith.
(25:04):
Oh, my word. So what does amagical look midlife look like to
you? If you're trying todefine it for yourself, what does
a magical midlife look likefor you?
Yeah, Yeah, I would say isdoing what I love to do, which is
my passion. My passion projectis working with people with. Figuring
(25:25):
out what do they want to donext and. And allowing. Not allowing
them, but providing a platformfor them to. To think creatively.
But it also is likesprinkling, you know, your day with
fun things. So simple, simplethings that don't cost anything.
Going out at night, looking atthe stars. The other night, we have
(25:48):
fireflies or lightning bugs,whatever you call them. But oh, my
gosh, you cannot capture themon camera. They're too magical. But
they light up the sky and thefields, and I'm. I'm in awe over
that. So those types of thingsjust, you know, with nature. I love
going to new restaurants. Wetried a new Indian restaurant the
(26:12):
other day. Different foods,great conversations with people.
You know, I'm always curiousabout what motivates person. How
did you decide this versusthis? How did you get there? How
did you choose that? So greatconversations. Just adding those
things that you love. And sofor me, that's what it looks like.
(26:35):
What does it look like foryou? Number one question. There's
a question for you.
That's a good question. Forme, it's. I'm learning to. I'm kind
of reflecting back on becauseI just finished my doctorate degree
in my. In my midlife. So Iguess it's part of. Part of my midlife
crisis. I wasn't reallyplanning on doing that. So now I'm
(26:55):
deciding, you know, what do Ido with all this education I just
spent the last three yearsgetting so I wanted. My new book
was like, I need to put thisinto a format that people want to
read. Nobody wants to read mydissertation with all the different
charts and all that, unlessyou're a geek. So how do I communicate
this in a way that people cantake it and actually utilize all
(27:16):
the things that I learned? SoI'm trying to figure out how to do
that in my next phase of life.
Yeah, well, what would make it fun?
That means that is fun becauseI'm trying to solve a problem that
I've been working on for mostof my. My career of how to help Churches
to make changes effectively. So.
Yeah. Well, it sounds likethat book is. Is. Is going to be.
(27:40):
Is a really good one becauseyou talk about how they were resilient
and how more people werecoming back into the church. And
I want to read about it so inmy next. In my interview with you.
Yeah, there you go. In ourinterview together, right?
Yeah.
So, Eileen, as you think aboutyour midlife journey, what do you
(28:04):
want your legacy to be?
I want. Want my legacy to bethat I made a difference in people's
lives. So as a nurse, I, Ilighten the load. I made their recovery
smoother, easier. I helpedthem be more resilient. I hope that
(28:28):
my legacy would be. I helpedthem also people that in midlife,
to be bridge builders to thenext part of their life where they
can have maybe more of like alife designed on purpose, the intentionality
of it. And also, you know, weaccumulate items, things, but we
(28:51):
also accumulate gifts andtalents and skills and knowledge
and to share from thatoverflow and to bring it forward
and give it back and be abridge builder to maybe a mentor,
because you certainly get andreceive more than you. You give in
these experiences for. Forsure. So that's what I'd like my
(29:14):
legacy to be.
That's great. So as you wrapup our conversation, what key takeaways
do you want to leave with themidlife crisis people in your.
Well, midlife is not always acrisis. It can be a crossroads. It
can be an invitation to seewhat you might want to create and
(29:39):
put on your. Your canvas. Sothe, the takeaway is don't miss it.
It's an opportunity like 19,24, 100 years ago, we were probably
living to 55. Now we have 30more years or 25 to 30 more years.
So they're bonus years. Whatwill you do with them? They're. They're
(30:00):
for you. They're a gift of, oftime. And if you're intentional,
you can get more of what youwant or just to think about it to.
To make good on that gift yougot and enjoy it.
So where can people, where canpeople find your book the Midlife
(30:20):
New Life and connect with youon social media?
So the book is at Amazon andit's at Barnes and Noble and I'm
on LinkedIn, I'm on X, I'm onFacebook and that they could reach
me@passageways coaching.netand I'm very open to, you know, conversation
(30:47):
or, or questions. So they canemail me at Eileen E I A L E E N
atpassageways coaching.net.
Well, Eileen, thanks so muchfor writing this book, helping us
all to remember that we dohave purpose. And if we find that
(31:07):
purpose, identify with that,it makes that midlife transition
a little bit easier for us aswe can pour into something new, the
next chapter of our life, andlive out Those next, hopefully 30
years or so more fruitfullyand more enjoyably.
Yes. Yes. Thank you. Thankyou. I also want to share that if
people wanted to take thethinking on midlife further, that
(31:31):
if they go to midlife newlife.net they can download a free
chapter and they can alsodownload. There are about 20 questions,
but they're like five fromeach chapter to be more reflective.
And so that would be somethingthat, you know, you could take it
further and. And see wherethat goes. This has been. This has
(31:54):
been great. I enjoy talkingwith you, Keith. I really have. And
I wish you the best, and Ithank you for the invitation. And
this has been fun.
Well, thank you. I appreciatethat. I like it when my guests say
it's fun, as opposed to almostthe worst 30 minutes of my life.
That would not be fun.
(32:17):
Well, Eileen, blessings on thework that you guys have done. You
guys have put together aphenomenal resource for. For those
of us who are going throughmidlife and looking forward to it
and enjoying the time that Godhas given us.
Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Well, Iwish you well, and I look to read
more about you and your book, too.
(32:37):
Thank you. I appreciate it.
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