November 14, 2025 • 34 mins
Kyle Towns joins us today to dive into the heartwarming and thought-provoking themes of her book, "The Road Less Traveled: Reclaiming Childhood for Christianity." She’s a former public school teacher and a homeschooling mom of five, and she’s on a mission to inspire parents, educators, and faith leaders to rethink how we nurture the spiritual and emotional lives of our children. Kyle shares her personal journey and the challenges she's faced in advocating for a Christ-centered approach to childhood. We’ll explore her insights on balancing discipline, screen time, and the importance of loving guidance, all while fostering independence and resilience in kids. With a sprinkle of humor and a dash of wisdom, we’re ready to unpack the rich tapestry of raising children in today's world—so stick around for a conversation that’s sure to inspire and uplift!
Takeaways:
- In this episode, we explore the importance of a Christ-centered approach to childhood, emphasizing the need for parents and educators to nurture spiritual and emotional well-being.
- Kyle Towns shares her journey as a homeschooling mother of five, advocating for reclaiming childhood through intentional parenting and education.
- The discussion delves into her book, 'The Road Less Traveled', which encourages families to prioritize meaningful relationships over societal norms in child-rearing.
- Listeners are reminded that love and discipline are foundational in raising children, helping them to build a strong relationship with God and navigate life's challenges.
- Kyle emphasizes the significance of incorporating the actual Word of God in children's lives, rather than just Bible stories, to deepen their understanding of faith.
- This episode encourages parents to embrace their role in guiding their children spiritually, highlighting that they are equipped by God to fulfill this important task.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(01:01):
Welcome to Becoming BridgeBuilders, where we explore stories
of faith, purpose andtransformation. Today's guest is
someone whose voice is bothtimely and timeless. Kyle Towns is
a Christian freelance writer,author and conference speaker. She's
a former public schoolteacher, a homeschooling mother of
five, and a passion advocatefor reclaiming childhood through
a Christ centered lens. Hernew book, the Road Less Traveled,
(01:25):
Reclaiming Childhood fromChristianity for Christianity, is
a heartfelt, thought provokingcall to parents, educators and faith
leaders to reimagine how wecan nurture the spiritual and emotional
lives of children in today'sculture. Kyle, welcome to the podcast.
Thank you so much for havingme. I'm delighted to be here.
So good to have you. I'mlooking forward to this conversation.
(01:46):
It's an important topic,especially in today's society and
world. So going to give youthe opportunity to kind of share
with us what's on your heart.But before we start that, my favorite
question to ask my guests iswhat's your best piece of advice
you've ever received?
So I narrowed it down to threeof them, which I know is not what
(02:06):
you're asking. You want one,but I'm going to give you quick three.
So.
Okay, that's fine.
Okay. Two of them are from mydad, who's a very wise man and he
always told me to major in themajors. And I think that's really
applicable to every aspect oflife that we need to always know
what's most important, if it'srelationships, child raising, you
(02:30):
know, your job, and make surethat we keep those priorities clear
in our minds so that we'redesignating the proper attention
to those things. And it'shelped me a lot. It kind of reminds
me of what St. Augustine saysabout ordering our loves aright and
just making sure that we, wekeep that priority system clear,
(02:53):
you know, in our head. Sothat's the first and the second he
tells me when I get anxious orI have a problem that I think is
insurmountable. He tells methe Trinity doesn't have to hold
a conference to figure thisone out. And it just, it calms me
back down. It brings me backto center of saying, okay, the reality
is that the Lord already hasordained how this is going to work
(03:15):
out. He has fixed the problem.He understands the fear or the concern
or the issue and it's not aproblem for him. So I can take a
step back and a little bit ofa deep breath when, when I hear that,
and I hear it in my mind nowbecause he said it so Many times
he doesn't have to say itanymore. And then the last one was
just a piece of advice that Ifound so helpful from a pastor that
(03:39):
has been a part of my life fora long time. And my husband went
through a major health crisisa few years ago and things were really
hard. And the pastor said tohim, it's quantity time over quality
time when it comes to yourfamily. And at first I pulled back
at that and said that does notseem right. It's not what I've ever
(04:02):
heard. I don't like that myhusband took it to heart and right
away he was doing the littlethings with us that are unimportant.
Seemingly if he was around, hewas in the kitchen with me, just
hanging out while I'm cookingor if I have to run an errand, he's
getting in the car with me andthe kids and running the errand.
And it actually made a hugeimpact on our family life just taking
(04:24):
those moments, insignificantthough they may be. We're not maybe
going on a date, we're notdoing something really exciting.
It's a silly errand toWalmart, but it impacts, it actually
does affect our relationshipand our family life. So those are
the three, the three that Inarrowed it down to the most impactful
(04:45):
advice I'd say that I've had.
Well, I could see how it'shard to pick between those three
because those are all threereally little gems there. So yeah,
that's good. I'll give youpermission to give more than one.
Well, thank you. Appreciate it.
So let's talk about your book.What inspired you to write the Road
Less Traveled?
(05:07):
It was sort of a dualsituation where both through raising
my children, Christian childraising being the focus of our child
raising and seeing the fruitof that, both relationship wise and
their relationship with theirLord and Savior Jesus Christ, their
personal relationship withtheir Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
(05:27):
and simultaneously watching alot of Christian friends struggle
and flounder with modern childrearing practices and principles
that were basicallysuffocating and eating away at their,
at their family, destroyingtheir relationships instead of building
them up and not, not nurturingthe relationship of their children
(05:50):
with Jesus Christ and, andhaving my heart go out to them, wanting
them to experience similarthings. Not that it's without challenges
or difficulties or sins oranything like that, but just that
there is so much fruit in thisway of child raising when you're
raising them really in Christ centered.
What do you find the mostchallenging part of writing your
(06:10):
book? I know for me you reachthose Moments where it's kind of
like this section is reallyhard to crystallize in my mind. Was
there like a section that youjust kind of struggle to put pen
to paper?
It wasn't a section. I'd saythe whole thing was a struggle for
me. I'm not a particularly, Idon't think, highly intelligent person
(06:30):
or someone that I actuallybalked at doing this for a number
of years. I felt the pressureon my heart to do it. And I thought
someone more equipped is goingto come around, someone better than
me, and they're going to fillthis. This gap of doing a holistic
approach to child raising thatdeals with every fundamental impression
area that we need to beaddressing as Christians. So not
just their relationship withJesus Christ, but what's going into
(06:53):
their heart and mind, whichthen affects that and their education,
which is formative andsomething that deals with all of
it and waiting for that, and Ididn't see it. So I finally listened
to that pressure on my heart,picked up my pen and started. And
I just. I struggled with theprocess itself of I had a lot of
ideas built up over the yearsthat I've. I've been thinking through
(07:14):
and, you know, through readingmy scripture and all this that I've
wanted to address and then howto put that in a form that flows.
That all connects noticeably.It connects in my head. But how do
you make sure peopleunderstand the connections and that
it's clear to everybody? Andso honestly, it was just. The whole
process was a struggle, but wegot there in the end, so that's.
(07:35):
That's what matters.
So you've worn many hats,Teacher, mother, speaker. How did
your personal journey shapethe message of this book?
I think that the journey thataffected my book and the message
started before even the hatswere put on. From my experience in
various types of educationalsettings, because I've gone through
(07:59):
public school, private school,homeschooling, and I went to boarding
school across the country. SoI have seen the various options available
and experienced it. And it wasthrough that process that I started
on this road, seeing thatsomeone like me, high, highly motivated,
(08:20):
very driven, very focused, whodoes have a natural love of learning,
can have that destroyedthrough the. The modern educational
system where it's aboutregurgitating the right answer, don't
question, don't think foryourself. It's not about independent
thinking. You know, you needto just do what you're told, and
(08:41):
it kind of crushes the spirit.And I experienced that. And I also
experienced not having thesupervision of my parents and the
presence of my parents,starting at 15, when I went to boarding
school, and the effect thatthat had. It was the darkest period
of my life. I enteredextremely deep depression. I was
very popular, but I felt veryalone. And I left the faith because
(09:05):
I didn't have my parents thereto guide me and to be a part of that.
And I don't in any way blamemy parents. I wanted to go to the
sporting school. I was the onethat pushed for it. But, you know,
foolishness is bound up in theheart of a child, as scripture says.
So I didn't know what was bestfor me. And I. I saw no, you really
do need the presence of yourchildren, of your parents throughout
(09:25):
your childhood. And then as Iwent through, I became a teacher.
I got my first job in innercity D.C. i was a music teacher.
I was 20 years old, fresh outof college, and I applied to a dual
middle and high school. Sohalf the school was middle school,
half the school was highschool. And they signed three of
(09:47):
us music teachers on for highschool. We all signed our contract,
and the next day we went inand they said, two of you are actually
teaching middle school. And Iwas terrified because my student
teaching had been elementaryand high school. I thought I was
going to. I thought that waswhere I belonged, teaching high school,
you know, I can handle that.And I had heard horror stories of
(10:10):
middle school and how awfulit's going to be. And I was terrified.
I was absolutely terrified.And I went into this environment
that was very different. I wasthe minority in every sense, from
my upbringing to the color ofmy skin, to everything. I. I went
into this, and it was acompletely different environment.
I. I learned a lot throughthat experience of seeing how much
(10:33):
children struggle when, youknow, they're coming from extremely
broken homes, parents inprison and jail, they were dealing
with their problems with fistfights in the classroom. You know,
a lot of children gettingpregnant and all this in sixth, seventh,
and eighth grade. So. So thelearning curve for me was extreme.
How do I manage classrooms?How do I reach children in this environment?
(10:58):
I had to make my owncurriculum from scratch. So every.
Every day, I'm designing myown curriculum. They didn't give
me anything. So I learned alot in that environment. It was very
stressful and difficult, but Ifelt like I took away a lot from
that. That was a growthexperience for me. And then I went
from there to teaching publicschool in Virginia. And they're also
(11:21):
what it has to do with thebook, because I saw behind the scenes,
in a different environment. Alot of kids from two parent households,
you know, easier life, but somany situations going on that affected
the children. And they wouldcome to me as the music teacher.
You know, music is theinternational language, right? And
(11:41):
people feel emotionally drawn,I think, or emotionally vulnerable
through music. So I was havingkids coming before school and at
lunch and after school andthey would just talk to me about
their life and what they'regoing through. And I saw the result
of bullying and self harm andthe pressures in that environment
(12:05):
that children areexperiencing. And it, it made me
realize the impact that thisis having on children in a way that
maybe was more than someteachers that don't have that interaction
and that, you know, the, thevulnerability element of children.
And on top of that last thing,I'll say that impacted where I went,
(12:26):
ended up going with my ownchildren and with, with writing the
book. And all of this wasseeing that there's this idea that
we as parents are notspecialists, so we're at a disadvantage
with our children. But, butwhen I was a teacher, I saw the specialists,
quote, unquote, you know, themath teacher who's supposed to be
teaching math in sixth gradeis teaching science and history in
(12:47):
seventh and eighth grade. Thenext year they're just told, hey,
guess what? This is whatyou're doing. You know, and they
have to just follow a book anddo their best. And it made me realize,
well, I can do that. You know,I am capable, I am able to do this
because I see it's not magic,it's just work. And you know, you're
able to accomplish that. So KVit gave me a lot of self assurance
(13:11):
to go down the path with mychildren of homeschooling them myself.
We homeschool our kids. Wemade a decision to do that. And,
and I'm curious for you, wegot the same pushback of you're not
qualified to do this. We. Whyaren't you just putting your kids
(13:32):
in a public school system?Shouldn't they be little lights and
little salt to the othercommunity around you? How do you
push back? Because I thinkwhat your book is, is you're talking
about kind of acountercultural approach to education.
And so what does reclaimingyour childhood for Christianity mean
(13:52):
to you in that context?
So the first of all, the titleitself, it's true that it. So it
comes from a Robert Frost poemwhere he says, you know, I took the
road less travel, and it'smade all the difference. And the
idea here is that it does makea huge difference what we do with
(14:15):
Our children as we're. We'reraising them. And I think this idea
that we should put them whenthey're their most vulnerable, when
they're at the stage wherethey're learning about themselves
and about truth and reality,they're learning about good and evil,
they're learning about how tobehave and what to think, what to
value. That that's the timewhen they should be put into the
(14:37):
highest pressure situationsthat they will ever endure is sort
of silly. I mean, it's. I'veheard the analogy before of a plant.
You know, if there's a. Awinter storm raging, you keep your
plant inside and you grow ituntil it's strong enough to go out
there and endure and, and livesuccessfully in that environment.
You don't just stick it outthere and say, well, if it's going
to live, it's going to live,and if it's not, it's not. And you
(14:59):
know, oh, well, it's got to goout there sometime. Might as well
put it out there while it'stiny. And so we want to build, as
Christians, our children up,because we do know what's out there.
We do understand there's aspiritual realm and it's real. And
that this is an attack. Thisis a realm that attacks in such a
vicious nature that even we asadults, armed with the word of God,
(15:21):
we struggle with it. How muchmore? Our children, who are still
in the process of learning theword of God, they're still in the
process of learning all thesethings about the world and about
themselves. And so we want tobuild that up in them so that they
can go out and be the light,that they can go out and make a difference
in the culture because they're equipped.
I love that. So let's dig intoyour book a little bit more because
(15:42):
you have four pillars in yourbook. Let's talk about those four
pillars.
Okay, so I give an analogy ofa house. And that is the most important
structural elements to earlychildhood to give. You keep your
priorities, speaking of majorand the majors, keeping your priorities
straight. So there is afoundation before we even set the
(16:05):
pillars, because we've got tohave something to build on, and that
is the word of God. And thatmeans that our children need to know
the word of God, because as wetalked about, it's the sword of the
spirit. This is what you dospiritual battle with is the sword,
which is the word of God. Andour children need to hear that word.
So I'm encouraging in the bookthat we have our children either
(16:27):
hear or read the actual Wordof God, not Bible stories. Because
there is a. And not thatthere's anything wrong with Bible
stories, but there's aspecific promise attached to the
Word of God in Scripture. Andthat promise is that faith comes
from hearing and hearing fromthe Word of God, not hearing from
Bible stories. And I getpushback from parents of, well, how
(16:48):
can my kid. They can'tunderstand it. And I think it's honestly
audacious of us to stand hereand say, the God of the universe
who knit together every singleatom, who created every child, who
put the stars in their placeand the planets in their orbits,
and he isn't capable ofcommunicating to a child through
(17:08):
his Word. That's where hispower stops. That's where he's limited.
But I can fill that gapbetter. You know, I can. I can do
it better. I just think weneed to take a step back and realize
something that is the Lord ofthe Universe who calls children to
him, he can communicate tothem. And so it's again, fine to
do Bible stories, but we needto actually incorporate the powerful
(17:28):
Word of God into their dailylife. Um, and then I have these other
four structural themes orelements that are really important.
The first is, of course, godlydiscipline, which is attached to
forgiveness and encouragement.And I talk about what that means,
vetted screen time, whichmeans that we don't just give our
(17:49):
children screens with Lordknows what content on them for however
much period of time, becausewe understand that that impacts and
affects children. It affectsthem mentally and it affects them
spiritually. It's not just oneor the other. You don't have to be
a Christian, I've said, youknow, because it's true, to care
about the screen time issue.It's well documented in our society,
(18:10):
the numerous problems thatoccur by prolonged screen use and
of course, the content comingin from the screen. So we have discipline
vetted screen time, greatbooks, filling our children's minds
with wonderful and inspiringbooks, and then active play, which
is engaging in our environmentin real time. Right. Because this
(18:33):
idea that children are formingall their knowledge of the world
means they need to engage withthe real world. They need to see
how to do chores, they need tosee how to cook dinner, how to be
creative. And I think onething I want to bring up here is,
is that if you're a Christian,then your child has to be able to
(18:54):
experience not beingentertained to have a relationship
with their Lord and Savior,Jesus Christ. If you are constantly
being entertained and ourchildren are experiencing six to
eight plus Hours a day onentertainment with their screens.
How are they going to have arelationship with Jesus Christ? You
don't have the opportunity topray, to contemplate, self reflect.
All these things areimpossible, but yet part of an actually.
(19:16):
And it's an. It's a necessarycomponent of being a Christian. So
we've got to let our childrenexperience not being entertained,
having to entertainthemselves, to think, to explore
in their environment.
So we got the pillars, we gotthe foundation, walls, roof. What's
that look like in your.
Yeah, so the walls that goaround all this are love. And I think
(19:39):
love has been really skewed inour culture. We need to go back to
Scripture to see what love is.Right. Love is entirely different
than. It's just than you wouldcome to believe if you just watched
movies. It would be verysubjective, very feeling oriented
if you did that. But when youlook at scripture, you hear that
(20:00):
God is love, and in Jesus isGod in the flesh. So we want to look
at Jesus Christ as an examplein all ways of what is loving and
what love is. And then ofcourse, you go to Corinthians and
you hear, love is patient.Love is kind. It doesn't end, you
know, envy, it doesn't boastand all these things. And, and, and
we want to express that to ourchildren in every way. And that means
(20:22):
looking to what they need inthat moment. Love is not enduring
sinful behaviors that destroyand are destructive to our children
and sitting back and saying,look how loving I am. I'm not addressing
it. I'm being so patient andwonderful. Meanwhile, your child's
spirit is being warped by thatbehavior. I mean, what we do and
(20:43):
say does impact the heart andmind. The Lord cares about it, we
should care about it. So loveis demonstrated in a variety of ways
through addressing behaviorsand through obviously, you know,
verbalizing your love of yourchild and doing whatever they need
in that moment, whatever it isthat they're clearly craving or desiring
in terms of what's best forthem long term. So those are the
(21:05):
walls of love and then theroof of protection. And I encourage
parents to look at thatCorinthians passage where it talks
about love being patient andkind, because it says that love always
protects and we have had itused in our culture that protection
from parents is something youdon't want to be accused of. Don't
(21:26):
be accused of being. Actually,I have a story on that. There we
were in New York and we had abackyard with no fence. I had three
little kids at the time, andmy Oldest was about six. The lady
behind us was an oldgrandmother and she would have her
grandchildren come over. Herdaughter was having a situ, what
(21:46):
do you want to call it,affairs with a lot of men. And she
was having children bydifferent men. And these children
would come to the lady's houseand play and because we had no fence,
they'd come over to our yardand play on our swing set, which
was fine initially until thesix year old boy was whispering things
in my daughter's ear andcausing her to be so afraid to leave
the house that she wasn'twanting to go and play in her own
backyard. So after addressingthis and nothing changed, I went
(22:09):
to the grandmother and said,I'm sorry to tell you, but your,
your grandchild is no longerallowed in my yard because he's scaring
my daughter to the point thatshe can't play in our yard. And the
lady said to me, well, I knowthat you homeschool, so I know that
the reason you're doing thatis just to be overprotective and
keep them from everything inthe world. And I told her that is,
(22:30):
first of all, to protect my 6year old is my job. It is my job
to protect her. This idea thatit's an accusation, I am proud to
say I protect my child fromevil. You know, I can't protect her
from every sin in the world.But that's a ridiculous accusation
because sin is prevailingeven, you know, pervasive, even in
(22:51):
her own body, not to mentionin mine and everything around us.
But of course, if there's aknown evil or a known attack, that's
what I'm going to do. I'mgoing to protect her from it. But
it's an important part ofparenting, especially in our culture
where there's a lot of thingscoming at our children. The devil's
very aware of who to attackand how to do it, and he wants our
children. So we need to standin that gap and say, you know, not
(23:16):
today, Satan.
So with that in mind, parentswho are hearing this going, I want
to begin to make that shift tobe more aware of how to protect my
kids and put that hedge uparound them and build that solid
foundation. What practicalsteps do you see to help parents
align more closely withbiblical principles?
(23:37):
First thing is you got to readthe Bible. If you don't have the
lamp to your feet and thelight to your path, then how are
you going to walk it? I mean,there's no shortcut. I think we love
shortcuts in our culture. Welike Give me, you know, give me the
three step program thatdoesn't include, is a pill more than
a, an action. But if you, youhave to prioritize as the parent
(23:58):
that reading your scripture isthe first and most important part
of your day, and it's thefirst and most important part of
your children's day so thatyou know, so that you have guidance
and wisdom, because there is.And that you can put every advice
you get about parenting upagainst the word of God. I'm gonna
shine God's light on that, Apiece of advice I just got and say,
does that line up, does thatline up with God's word? Because
(24:19):
if it doesn't, it's going inthe trash. I'm just going to discard
that. But if it does, then Ican take that on board and use that
to wisely raise my children.So the very, very first and foremost
is that and then caring aboutwhat goes into their heart and mind,
because that forms a child,that forms them. And if we don't
care about what's coming intotheir hearts and minds, then they're
(24:41):
going to be formed in allsorts. And we've seen this culturally
in all sorts of perversiveways. And they're going to grow in
that during their mostformative years, which means changing
it is incredibly difficult.This is the time, this is when the
iron's hot. This is when weneed to be shaping them. And so watching
their social media, watchingthe time they spend on the screens
(25:04):
and the music they listen to,guiding them in a wise way so that
they are learning themselveshow to interact with the world and
to follow the Lord.
So we talked about in thebeginning of this discussion about
homeschooling and how a lot ofparents may want to do it because
they don't like what they seein the school system around them,
(25:26):
but they feel ill equipped,unprepared to lead their kids at
home to homeschool them. Sowhat encouragement do you have for
parents who like, I'd love todo this, but I just feel ill prepared,
unequipped to do this.
Okay, so the first thing Iwould say is that is a Christian
attitude, like Christianity isnot the religion to go to. If you
(25:50):
want to feel enough, if youwant to feel that you are equipped
and prepared and in every waystrong, you've got the wrong religion.
But he is enough. He isequipped. He is, and he is strong.
And he has called you. And youknow how you know he's called you
because you're a parent, whichmeans he ordained from the beginning
(26:11):
of time to give you a childmade in his image, to give you that
child he died for on the crossthat he loved that much. He chose
you. And he chose you eventhough he knows that you're weak
and you have sins andtendencies and a short temper and
whatever else, but he choseyou. So that means he will equip
you. He will equip you to walkthat path. And you can rest in his
(26:34):
strength and the fact he'spromised to never leave you or forsake
you. And in that, I would alsosay there are so many resources out
there, free resources,resources that'll help teach you
how to teach or teach for youthrough the program. And it's really
a if you read, you can succeedkind of situation. I mean, if you
(26:54):
can read the directions,people will tell you. There are so
many things out there to tellyou, even exactly what to say. If
you don't even want to come upwith, you know, the phrasing. You
can find programs that'll tellyou how to phrase it to your child.
So the resources are abundant.It's not like it was when I was a
kid or my parents werechildren where the resources were
(27:15):
not plentiful. Now you. Youhave a lot, you know, an abundance,
maybe even an overabundance ofthings that you can choose from.
But. But in the end, you know,all those insecurities and insufficiencies
that you feel, that's a normalChristian response. And I would just
encourage them to take refugein the Lord in that.
(27:38):
That's awesome. So what dopeople take away from reading your
book?
So I really want them to bejust inspired to lead their children
in the way of the Lord,regardless of who else is doing it
with them. My concern and whatI've witnessed as a parent is that
(28:03):
there are many, manyparticularly moms, who are prone
to look around them and seekvalidation in who else is doing it.
I don't want to do it unless,you know, multiple friends are doing
it. And if multiple friendsare doing it, then it must be good
and I should do it. You be theleader, you know, you be the one
to take that step and say, Idon't care if you're coming along
(28:25):
with me or not, anyone aroundme. I'm going to do what I believe
is best and right for my childbecause I am their leader. I am,
you know, who was tasked withthat. And I think that's a perspective
we should have as Christiansanyway, because the world's not going
to follow us. You know,they're not going to cheer us on.
So let's stop looking for thatin our peers. Let's stop, stop looking
(28:46):
for that in social media andstart saying, I, you know, I work
to please the Lord and notman, and it doesn't matter. So I'm
just going to go ahead andfollow the Lord. So I hope that once
they read the book and they'regiven factual basis, a factual basis
for making these decisions,because I use statistics and, you
know, actual studies of whathas been proven to be the best course
(29:10):
of action with children, plusthe word of God. And they use that
to say, yes, I know that, youknow, X and Y and Z is the best road
to go on and the best thing todo with my child. So I'm just going
to go do it.
That's great. So I love to askmy guests this question, as you know
from listening to podcast,what do you want your legacy to be?
Yeah. So it's a good question.When I think of legacy, I think of
(29:35):
them, you know, when I'm notto go dark here, but when I'm really
old or I'm dying, what is itthe most important thing when I look
back on my life, like, what amI going to have cared most about?
And it is far and away that myfive children have a personal relationship
with their Lord and Savior,Jesus. Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
And I know that I will seethem again on the last day by far.
(29:57):
I want every parent to havethat same priority and that same
legacy where maybe all elsefailed. Maybe I didn't have the greatest
career, maybe not everybodyknew my name, maybe I didn't make
a lot of money, but none ofthat's gonna matter when I'm dying
anyway. What is gonna matteris that those five for me, five people
that I love more than anythingin the world, that I am going to
(30:20):
see them on last day andthey're gonna live forever with my,
my Lord and Savior, JesusChrist. So I, I, that was what I
would like to be. My, my legacy.
That's awesome. So in seasonsix, we have a new thing. We've asked
a guest to pick a numberbetween one and five for surprise
questions. What number do you pick?
Okay. All right. Five.
(30:44):
All right. Your surprisequestion is, what is the weirdest
tradition your family has?
Weirdest. I mean, firsttradition that comes to mind isn't
particularly weird. I guess itcould be if you know, a little bit.
But my, my five daughters andI, we cook for three days prior to
Thanksgiving. And the weirdpart about it is, and we, and it's
(31:07):
only girls allowed in thekitchen, is that we. In order to
do this, as they've gottenolder and more skilled, you have
to add more recipes. So we endup making enough food for the entire
congregation, plus more. Andyou just end up with. It's ridiculous.
So we invite whoever wants to.To come over because, you know, the
food is so much. But it's fun.It's a wonderful tradition, and we
(31:28):
definitely do it every year,so I guess that would qualify.
How do five women survive in akitchen together? That's a good.
Well, you know, this is what Isay. I say about my husband. He's
the most diplomatic man you'llever find because he knows how to
navigate all these different,you know, all the female dynamics,
and he can come in and out ofthere and be perfectly fine. But
(31:49):
no, no, we. We do. We. We dofine. We all have our specific roles.
You know, you. You got todesignate those very clearly. So
then we're fine.
So are there any upcomingprojects or speaking engagements
you want to share with our listeners?
I'm going to be doing variousspeaking in different states next
year, which I'm really excitedabout. They're all tentative as pastors
(32:12):
are getting funding right now.And so I'd encourage people to look
around, see if I'm going tobe, you know, talk to their pastor,
see if I'm going to be comingto their area. If not, I would love
to come out there and inspireand encourage people in their Christian
walk. I think now is the timeto strike, as I've said. I mean,
you mentioned this at thebeginning, the culture. I think we're
at a point where people areseeing this is destructive, this
(32:33):
isn't working, and we need adifferent way. So I think we need
to get the word out there andas. As much as possible. So I'll
be doing that. And then I havemy blog at kids are capable.net and
I keep posting their articlesand such to encourage parents, so
people are welcome to look meup on that.
So where can listeners findyour book the Road Less Travel, Reclaiming
Childhood for Christianity?
(32:55):
It's on Amazon and Barnes andNoble and any place you normally
shop for books. I think it'sslightly discounted right now, so
get it while it's hot.
Well, Kyle, thank you so muchfor sharing your heart, your wisdom,
your vision for reclaimingchildhood through faith. Your book
is a powerful reminder thatthe most meaningful transformations
(33:16):
often begin at home and in thequiet moments of intentional love
and discipleship for ourlisteners. We'll welcome you to.
We'll include Kyle's booklinks and website and upcoming show
notes. So whether you're aparent or a teacher or simply someone
who cares deeply about thenext generation, the Road Less Traveled
is a must read. This isbecoming bridge builders and you've
(33:36):
been listening to your host,Reverend Keith Haney. Until next
time, keep walking the RoadLess traveled. It might just lead
to a closer heart, closer walkwith God.
Welcome to Becoming BridgeBuilders, where we explore stories
of faith, purpose andtransformation. Today's guest is
someone whose voice is bothtimely and timeless. Kyle Towns is
a Christian freelance writer,author and conference speaker. She's
a former public schoolteacher, a homeschooling mother of
five, and a passion advocatefor reclaiming childhood through
a Christ centered lens. Hernew book, the Road Less Traveled,
(01:25):
Reclaiming Childhood fromChristianity for Christianity, is
a heartfelt, thought provokingcall to parents, educators and faith
leaders to reimagine how wecan nurture the spiritual and emotional
lives of children in today'sculture. Kyle, welcome to the podcast.
Thank you so much for havingme. I'm delighted to be here.
So good to have you. I'mlooking forward to this conversation.
(01:46):
It's an important topic,especially in today's society and
world. So going to give youthe opportunity to kind of share
with us what's on your heart.But before we start that, my favorite
question to ask my guests iswhat's your best piece of advice
you've ever received?
So I narrowed it down to threeof them, which I know is not what
(02:06):
you're asking. You want one,but I'm going to give you quick three.
So.
Okay, that's fine.
Okay. Two of them are from mydad, who's a very wise man and he
always told me to major in themajors. And I think that's really
applicable to every aspect oflife that we need to always know
what's most important, if it'srelationships, child raising, you
(02:30):
know, your job, and make surethat we keep those priorities clear
in our minds so that we'redesignating the proper attention
to those things. And it'shelped me a lot. It kind of reminds
me of what St. Augustine saysabout ordering our loves aright and
just making sure that we, wekeep that priority system clear,
(02:53):
you know, in our head. Sothat's the first and the second he
tells me when I get anxious orI have a problem that I think is
insurmountable. He tells methe Trinity doesn't have to hold
a conference to figure thisone out. And it just, it calms me
back down. It brings me backto center of saying, okay, the reality
is that the Lord already hasordained how this is going to work
(03:15):
out. He has fixed the problem.He understands the fear or the concern
or the issue and it's not aproblem for him. So I can take a
step back and a little bit ofa deep breath when, when I hear that,
and I hear it in my mind nowbecause he said it so Many times
he doesn't have to say itanymore. And then the last one was
just a piece of advice that Ifound so helpful from a pastor that
(03:39):
has been a part of my life fora long time. And my husband went
through a major health crisisa few years ago and things were really
hard. And the pastor said tohim, it's quantity time over quality
time when it comes to yourfamily. And at first I pulled back
at that and said that does notseem right. It's not what I've ever
(04:02):
heard. I don't like that myhusband took it to heart and right
away he was doing the littlethings with us that are unimportant.
Seemingly if he was around, hewas in the kitchen with me, just
hanging out while I'm cookingor if I have to run an errand, he's
getting in the car with me andthe kids and running the errand.
And it actually made a hugeimpact on our family life just taking
(04:24):
those moments, insignificantthough they may be. We're not maybe
going on a date, we're notdoing something really exciting.
It's a silly errand toWalmart, but it impacts, it actually
does affect our relationshipand our family life. So those are
the three, the three that Inarrowed it down to the most impactful
(04:45):
advice I'd say that I've had.
Well, I could see how it'shard to pick between those three
because those are all threereally little gems there. So yeah,
that's good. I'll give youpermission to give more than one.
Well, thank you. Appreciate it.
So let's talk about your book.What inspired you to write the Road
Less Traveled?
(05:07):
It was sort of a dualsituation where both through raising
my children, Christian childraising being the focus of our child
raising and seeing the fruitof that, both relationship wise and
their relationship with theirLord and Savior Jesus Christ, their
personal relationship withtheir Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
(05:27):
and simultaneously watching alot of Christian friends struggle
and flounder with modern childrearing practices and principles
that were basicallysuffocating and eating away at their,
at their family, destroyingtheir relationships instead of building
them up and not, not nurturingthe relationship of their children
(05:50):
with Jesus Christ and, andhaving my heart go out to them, wanting
them to experience similarthings. Not that it's without challenges
or difficulties or sins oranything like that, but just that
there is so much fruit in thisway of child raising when you're
raising them really in Christ centered.
What do you find the mostchallenging part of writing your
(06:10):
book? I know for me you reachthose Moments where it's kind of
like this section is reallyhard to crystallize in my mind. Was
there like a section that youjust kind of struggle to put pen
to paper?
It wasn't a section. I'd saythe whole thing was a struggle for
me. I'm not a particularly, Idon't think, highly intelligent person
(06:30):
or someone that I actuallybalked at doing this for a number
of years. I felt the pressureon my heart to do it. And I thought
someone more equipped is goingto come around, someone better than
me, and they're going to fillthis. This gap of doing a holistic
approach to child raising thatdeals with every fundamental impression
area that we need to beaddressing as Christians. So not
just their relationship withJesus Christ, but what's going into
(06:53):
their heart and mind, whichthen affects that and their education,
which is formative andsomething that deals with all of
it and waiting for that, and Ididn't see it. So I finally listened
to that pressure on my heart,picked up my pen and started. And
I just. I struggled with theprocess itself of I had a lot of
ideas built up over the yearsthat I've. I've been thinking through
(07:14):
and, you know, through readingmy scripture and all this that I've
wanted to address and then howto put that in a form that flows.
That all connects noticeably.It connects in my head. But how do
you make sure peopleunderstand the connections and that
it's clear to everybody? Andso honestly, it was just. The whole
process was a struggle, but wegot there in the end, so that's.
(07:35):
That's what matters.
So you've worn many hats,Teacher, mother, speaker. How did
your personal journey shapethe message of this book?
I think that the journey thataffected my book and the message
started before even the hatswere put on. From my experience in
various types of educationalsettings, because I've gone through
(07:59):
public school, private school,homeschooling, and I went to boarding
school across the country. SoI have seen the various options available
and experienced it. And it wasthrough that process that I started
on this road, seeing thatsomeone like me, high, highly motivated,
(08:20):
very driven, very focused, whodoes have a natural love of learning,
can have that destroyedthrough the. The modern educational
system where it's aboutregurgitating the right answer, don't
question, don't think foryourself. It's not about independent
thinking. You know, you needto just do what you're told, and
(08:41):
it kind of crushes the spirit.And I experienced that. And I also
experienced not having thesupervision of my parents and the
presence of my parents,starting at 15, when I went to boarding
school, and the effect thatthat had. It was the darkest period
of my life. I enteredextremely deep depression. I was
very popular, but I felt veryalone. And I left the faith because
(09:05):
I didn't have my parents thereto guide me and to be a part of that.
And I don't in any way blamemy parents. I wanted to go to the
sporting school. I was the onethat pushed for it. But, you know,
foolishness is bound up in theheart of a child, as scripture says.
So I didn't know what was bestfor me. And I. I saw no, you really
do need the presence of yourchildren, of your parents throughout
(09:25):
your childhood. And then as Iwent through, I became a teacher.
I got my first job in innercity D.C. i was a music teacher.
I was 20 years old, fresh outof college, and I applied to a dual
middle and high school. Sohalf the school was middle school,
half the school was highschool. And they signed three of
(09:47):
us music teachers on for highschool. We all signed our contract,
and the next day we went inand they said, two of you are actually
teaching middle school. And Iwas terrified because my student
teaching had been elementaryand high school. I thought I was
going to. I thought that waswhere I belonged, teaching high school,
you know, I can handle that.And I had heard horror stories of
(10:10):
middle school and how awfulit's going to be. And I was terrified.
I was absolutely terrified.And I went into this environment
that was very different. I wasthe minority in every sense, from
my upbringing to the color ofmy skin, to everything. I. I went
into this, and it was acompletely different environment.
I. I learned a lot throughthat experience of seeing how much
(10:33):
children struggle when, youknow, they're coming from extremely
broken homes, parents inprison and jail, they were dealing
with their problems with fistfights in the classroom. You know,
a lot of children gettingpregnant and all this in sixth, seventh,
and eighth grade. So. So thelearning curve for me was extreme.
How do I manage classrooms?How do I reach children in this environment?
(10:58):
I had to make my owncurriculum from scratch. So every.
Every day, I'm designing myown curriculum. They didn't give
me anything. So I learned alot in that environment. It was very
stressful and difficult, but Ifelt like I took away a lot from
that. That was a growthexperience for me. And then I went
from there to teaching publicschool in Virginia. And they're also
(11:21):
what it has to do with thebook, because I saw behind the scenes,
in a different environment. Alot of kids from two parent households,
you know, easier life, but somany situations going on that affected
the children. And they wouldcome to me as the music teacher.
You know, music is theinternational language, right? And
(11:41):
people feel emotionally drawn,I think, or emotionally vulnerable
through music. So I was havingkids coming before school and at
lunch and after school andthey would just talk to me about
their life and what they'regoing through. And I saw the result
of bullying and self harm andthe pressures in that environment
(12:05):
that children areexperiencing. And it, it made me
realize the impact that thisis having on children in a way that
maybe was more than someteachers that don't have that interaction
and that, you know, the, thevulnerability element of children.
And on top of that last thing,I'll say that impacted where I went,
(12:26):
ended up going with my ownchildren and with, with writing the
book. And all of this wasseeing that there's this idea that
we as parents are notspecialists, so we're at a disadvantage
with our children. But, butwhen I was a teacher, I saw the specialists,
quote, unquote, you know, themath teacher who's supposed to be
teaching math in sixth gradeis teaching science and history in
(12:47):
seventh and eighth grade. Thenext year they're just told, hey,
guess what? This is whatyou're doing. You know, and they
have to just follow a book anddo their best. And it made me realize,
well, I can do that. You know,I am capable, I am able to do this
because I see it's not magic,it's just work. And you know, you're
able to accomplish that. So KVit gave me a lot of self assurance
(13:11):
to go down the path with mychildren of homeschooling them myself.
We homeschool our kids. Wemade a decision to do that. And,
and I'm curious for you, wegot the same pushback of you're not
qualified to do this. We. Whyaren't you just putting your kids
(13:32):
in a public school system?Shouldn't they be little lights and
little salt to the othercommunity around you? How do you
push back? Because I thinkwhat your book is, is you're talking
about kind of acountercultural approach to education.
And so what does reclaimingyour childhood for Christianity mean
(13:52):
to you in that context?
So the first of all, the titleitself, it's true that it. So it
comes from a Robert Frost poemwhere he says, you know, I took the
road less travel, and it'smade all the difference. And the
idea here is that it does makea huge difference what we do with
(14:15):
Our children as we're. We'reraising them. And I think this idea
that we should put them whenthey're their most vulnerable, when
they're at the stage wherethey're learning about themselves
and about truth and reality,they're learning about good and evil,
they're learning about how tobehave and what to think, what to
value. That that's the timewhen they should be put into the
(14:37):
highest pressure situationsthat they will ever endure is sort
of silly. I mean, it's. I'veheard the analogy before of a plant.
You know, if there's a. Awinter storm raging, you keep your
plant inside and you grow ituntil it's strong enough to go out
there and endure and, and livesuccessfully in that environment.
You don't just stick it outthere and say, well, if it's going
to live, it's going to live,and if it's not, it's not. And you
(14:59):
know, oh, well, it's got to goout there sometime. Might as well
put it out there while it'stiny. And so we want to build, as
Christians, our children up,because we do know what's out there.
We do understand there's aspiritual realm and it's real. And
that this is an attack. Thisis a realm that attacks in such a
vicious nature that even we asadults, armed with the word of God,
(15:21):
we struggle with it. How muchmore? Our children, who are still
in the process of learning theword of God, they're still in the
process of learning all thesethings about the world and about
themselves. And so we want tobuild that up in them so that they
can go out and be the light,that they can go out and make a difference
in the culture because they're equipped.
I love that. So let's dig intoyour book a little bit more because
(15:42):
you have four pillars in yourbook. Let's talk about those four
pillars.
Okay, so I give an analogy ofa house. And that is the most important
structural elements to earlychildhood to give. You keep your
priorities, speaking of majorand the majors, keeping your priorities
straight. So there is afoundation before we even set the
(16:05):
pillars, because we've got tohave something to build on, and that
is the word of God. And thatmeans that our children need to know
the word of God, because as wetalked about, it's the sword of the
spirit. This is what you dospiritual battle with is the sword,
which is the word of God. Andour children need to hear that word.
So I'm encouraging in the bookthat we have our children either
(16:27):
hear or read the actual Wordof God, not Bible stories. Because
there is a. And not thatthere's anything wrong with Bible
stories, but there's aspecific promise attached to the
Word of God in Scripture. Andthat promise is that faith comes
from hearing and hearing fromthe Word of God, not hearing from
Bible stories. And I getpushback from parents of, well, how
(16:48):
can my kid. They can'tunderstand it. And I think it's honestly
audacious of us to stand hereand say, the God of the universe
who knit together every singleatom, who created every child, who
put the stars in their placeand the planets in their orbits,
and he isn't capable ofcommunicating to a child through
(17:08):
his Word. That's where hispower stops. That's where he's limited.
But I can fill that gapbetter. You know, I can. I can do
it better. I just think weneed to take a step back and realize
something that is the Lord ofthe Universe who calls children to
him, he can communicate tothem. And so it's again, fine to
do Bible stories, but we needto actually incorporate the powerful
(17:28):
Word of God into their dailylife. Um, and then I have these other
four structural themes orelements that are really important.
The first is, of course, godlydiscipline, which is attached to
forgiveness and encouragement.And I talk about what that means,
vetted screen time, whichmeans that we don't just give our
(17:49):
children screens with Lordknows what content on them for however
much period of time, becausewe understand that that impacts and
affects children. It affectsthem mentally and it affects them
spiritually. It's not just oneor the other. You don't have to be
a Christian, I've said, youknow, because it's true, to care
about the screen time issue.It's well documented in our society,
(18:10):
the numerous problems thatoccur by prolonged screen use and
of course, the content comingin from the screen. So we have discipline
vetted screen time, greatbooks, filling our children's minds
with wonderful and inspiringbooks, and then active play, which
is engaging in our environmentin real time. Right. Because this
(18:33):
idea that children are formingall their knowledge of the world
means they need to engage withthe real world. They need to see
how to do chores, they need tosee how to cook dinner, how to be
creative. And I think onething I want to bring up here is,
is that if you're a Christian,then your child has to be able to
(18:54):
experience not beingentertained to have a relationship
with their Lord and Savior,Jesus Christ. If you are constantly
being entertained and ourchildren are experiencing six to
eight plus Hours a day onentertainment with their screens.
How are they going to have arelationship with Jesus Christ? You
don't have the opportunity topray, to contemplate, self reflect.
All these things areimpossible, but yet part of an actually.
(19:16):
And it's an. It's a necessarycomponent of being a Christian. So
we've got to let our childrenexperience not being entertained,
having to entertainthemselves, to think, to explore
in their environment.
So we got the pillars, we gotthe foundation, walls, roof. What's
that look like in your.
Yeah, so the walls that goaround all this are love. And I think
(19:39):
love has been really skewed inour culture. We need to go back to
Scripture to see what love is.Right. Love is entirely different
than. It's just than you wouldcome to believe if you just watched
movies. It would be verysubjective, very feeling oriented
if you did that. But when youlook at scripture, you hear that
(20:00):
God is love, and in Jesus isGod in the flesh. So we want to look
at Jesus Christ as an examplein all ways of what is loving and
what love is. And then ofcourse, you go to Corinthians and
you hear, love is patient.Love is kind. It doesn't end, you
know, envy, it doesn't boastand all these things. And, and, and
we want to express that to ourchildren in every way. And that means
(20:22):
looking to what they need inthat moment. Love is not enduring
sinful behaviors that destroyand are destructive to our children
and sitting back and saying,look how loving I am. I'm not addressing
it. I'm being so patient andwonderful. Meanwhile, your child's
spirit is being warped by thatbehavior. I mean, what we do and
(20:43):
say does impact the heart andmind. The Lord cares about it, we
should care about it. So loveis demonstrated in a variety of ways
through addressing behaviorsand through obviously, you know,
verbalizing your love of yourchild and doing whatever they need
in that moment, whatever it isthat they're clearly craving or desiring
in terms of what's best forthem long term. So those are the
(21:05):
walls of love and then theroof of protection. And I encourage
parents to look at thatCorinthians passage where it talks
about love being patient andkind, because it says that love always
protects and we have had itused in our culture that protection
from parents is something youdon't want to be accused of. Don't
(21:26):
be accused of being. Actually,I have a story on that. There we
were in New York and we had abackyard with no fence. I had three
little kids at the time, andmy Oldest was about six. The lady
behind us was an oldgrandmother and she would have her
grandchildren come over. Herdaughter was having a situ, what
(21:46):
do you want to call it,affairs with a lot of men. And she
was having children bydifferent men. And these children
would come to the lady's houseand play and because we had no fence,
they'd come over to our yardand play on our swing set, which
was fine initially until thesix year old boy was whispering things
in my daughter's ear andcausing her to be so afraid to leave
the house that she wasn'twanting to go and play in her own
backyard. So after addressingthis and nothing changed, I went
(22:09):
to the grandmother and said,I'm sorry to tell you, but your,
your grandchild is no longerallowed in my yard because he's scaring
my daughter to the point thatshe can't play in our yard. And the
lady said to me, well, I knowthat you homeschool, so I know that
the reason you're doing thatis just to be overprotective and
keep them from everything inthe world. And I told her that is,
(22:30):
first of all, to protect my 6year old is my job. It is my job
to protect her. This idea thatit's an accusation, I am proud to
say I protect my child fromevil. You know, I can't protect her
from every sin in the world.But that's a ridiculous accusation
because sin is prevailingeven, you know, pervasive, even in
(22:51):
her own body, not to mentionin mine and everything around us.
But of course, if there's aknown evil or a known attack, that's
what I'm going to do. I'mgoing to protect her from it. But
it's an important part ofparenting, especially in our culture
where there's a lot of thingscoming at our children. The devil's
very aware of who to attackand how to do it, and he wants our
children. So we need to standin that gap and say, you know, not
(23:16):
today, Satan.
So with that in mind, parentswho are hearing this going, I want
to begin to make that shift tobe more aware of how to protect my
kids and put that hedge uparound them and build that solid
foundation. What practicalsteps do you see to help parents
align more closely withbiblical principles?
(23:37):
First thing is you got to readthe Bible. If you don't have the
lamp to your feet and thelight to your path, then how are
you going to walk it? I mean,there's no shortcut. I think we love
shortcuts in our culture. Welike Give me, you know, give me the
three step program thatdoesn't include, is a pill more than
a, an action. But if you, youhave to prioritize as the parent
(23:58):
that reading your scripture isthe first and most important part
of your day, and it's thefirst and most important part of
your children's day so thatyou know, so that you have guidance
and wisdom, because there is.And that you can put every advice
you get about parenting upagainst the word of God. I'm gonna
shine God's light on that, Apiece of advice I just got and say,
does that line up, does thatline up with God's word? Because
(24:19):
if it doesn't, it's going inthe trash. I'm just going to discard
that. But if it does, then Ican take that on board and use that
to wisely raise my children.So the very, very first and foremost
is that and then caring aboutwhat goes into their heart and mind,
because that forms a child,that forms them. And if we don't
care about what's coming intotheir hearts and minds, then they're
(24:41):
going to be formed in allsorts. And we've seen this culturally
in all sorts of perversiveways. And they're going to grow in
that during their mostformative years, which means changing
it is incredibly difficult.This is the time, this is when the
iron's hot. This is when weneed to be shaping them. And so watching
their social media, watchingthe time they spend on the screens
(25:04):
and the music they listen to,guiding them in a wise way so that
they are learning themselveshow to interact with the world and
to follow the Lord.
So we talked about in thebeginning of this discussion about
homeschooling and how a lot ofparents may want to do it because
they don't like what they seein the school system around them,
(25:26):
but they feel ill equipped,unprepared to lead their kids at
home to homeschool them. Sowhat encouragement do you have for
parents who like, I'd love todo this, but I just feel ill prepared,
unequipped to do this.
Okay, so the first thing Iwould say is that is a Christian
attitude, like Christianity isnot the religion to go to. If you
(25:50):
want to feel enough, if youwant to feel that you are equipped
and prepared and in every waystrong, you've got the wrong religion.
But he is enough. He isequipped. He is, and he is strong.
And he has called you. And youknow how you know he's called you
because you're a parent, whichmeans he ordained from the beginning
(26:11):
of time to give you a childmade in his image, to give you that
child he died for on the crossthat he loved that much. He chose
you. And he chose you eventhough he knows that you're weak
and you have sins andtendencies and a short temper and
whatever else, but he choseyou. So that means he will equip
you. He will equip you to walkthat path. And you can rest in his
(26:34):
strength and the fact he'spromised to never leave you or forsake
you. And in that, I would alsosay there are so many resources out
there, free resources,resources that'll help teach you
how to teach or teach for youthrough the program. And it's really
a if you read, you can succeedkind of situation. I mean, if you
(26:54):
can read the directions,people will tell you. There are so
many things out there to tellyou, even exactly what to say. If
you don't even want to come upwith, you know, the phrasing. You
can find programs that'll tellyou how to phrase it to your child.
So the resources are abundant.It's not like it was when I was a
kid or my parents werechildren where the resources were
(27:15):
not plentiful. Now you. Youhave a lot, you know, an abundance,
maybe even an overabundance ofthings that you can choose from.
But. But in the end, you know,all those insecurities and insufficiencies
that you feel, that's a normalChristian response. And I would just
encourage them to take refugein the Lord in that.
(27:38):
That's awesome. So what dopeople take away from reading your
book?
So I really want them to bejust inspired to lead their children
in the way of the Lord,regardless of who else is doing it
with them. My concern and whatI've witnessed as a parent is that
(28:03):
there are many, manyparticularly moms, who are prone
to look around them and seekvalidation in who else is doing it.
I don't want to do it unless,you know, multiple friends are doing
it. And if multiple friendsare doing it, then it must be good
and I should do it. You be theleader, you know, you be the one
to take that step and say, Idon't care if you're coming along
(28:25):
with me or not, anyone aroundme. I'm going to do what I believe
is best and right for my childbecause I am their leader. I am,
you know, who was tasked withthat. And I think that's a perspective
we should have as Christiansanyway, because the world's not going
to follow us. You know,they're not going to cheer us on.
So let's stop looking for thatin our peers. Let's stop, stop looking
(28:46):
for that in social media andstart saying, I, you know, I work
to please the Lord and notman, and it doesn't matter. So I'm
just going to go ahead andfollow the Lord. So I hope that once
they read the book and they'regiven factual basis, a factual basis
for making these decisions,because I use statistics and, you
know, actual studies of whathas been proven to be the best course
(29:10):
of action with children, plusthe word of God. And they use that
to say, yes, I know that, youknow, X and Y and Z is the best road
to go on and the best thing todo with my child. So I'm just going
to go do it.
That's great. So I love to askmy guests this question, as you know
from listening to podcast,what do you want your legacy to be?
Yeah. So it's a good question.When I think of legacy, I think of
(29:35):
them, you know, when I'm notto go dark here, but when I'm really
old or I'm dying, what is itthe most important thing when I look
back on my life, like, what amI going to have cared most about?
And it is far and away that myfive children have a personal relationship
with their Lord and Savior,Jesus. Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
And I know that I will seethem again on the last day by far.
(29:57):
I want every parent to havethat same priority and that same
legacy where maybe all elsefailed. Maybe I didn't have the greatest
career, maybe not everybodyknew my name, maybe I didn't make
a lot of money, but none ofthat's gonna matter when I'm dying
anyway. What is gonna matteris that those five for me, five people
that I love more than anythingin the world, that I am going to
(30:20):
see them on last day andthey're gonna live forever with my,
my Lord and Savior, JesusChrist. So I, I, that was what I
would like to be. My, my legacy.
That's awesome. So in seasonsix, we have a new thing. We've asked
a guest to pick a numberbetween one and five for surprise
questions. What number do you pick?
Okay. All right. Five.
(30:44):
All right. Your surprisequestion is, what is the weirdest
tradition your family has?
Weirdest. I mean, firsttradition that comes to mind isn't
particularly weird. I guess itcould be if you know, a little bit.
But my, my five daughters andI, we cook for three days prior to
Thanksgiving. And the weirdpart about it is, and we, and it's
(31:07):
only girls allowed in thekitchen, is that we. In order to
do this, as they've gottenolder and more skilled, you have
to add more recipes. So we endup making enough food for the entire
congregation, plus more. Andyou just end up with. It's ridiculous.
So we invite whoever wants to.To come over because, you know, the
food is so much. But it's fun.It's a wonderful tradition, and we
(31:28):
definitely do it every year,so I guess that would qualify.
How do five women survive in akitchen together? That's a good.
Well, you know, this is what Isay. I say about my husband. He's
the most diplomatic man you'llever find because he knows how to
navigate all these different,you know, all the female dynamics,
and he can come in and out ofthere and be perfectly fine. But
(31:49):
no, no, we. We do. We. We dofine. We all have our specific roles.
You know, you. You got todesignate those very clearly. So
then we're fine.
So are there any upcomingprojects or speaking engagements
you want to share with our listeners?
I'm going to be doing variousspeaking in different states next
year, which I'm really excitedabout. They're all tentative as pastors
(32:12):
are getting funding right now.And so I'd encourage people to look
around, see if I'm going tobe, you know, talk to their pastor,
see if I'm going to be comingto their area. If not, I would love
to come out there and inspireand encourage people in their Christian
walk. I think now is the timeto strike, as I've said. I mean,
you mentioned this at thebeginning, the culture. I think we're
at a point where people areseeing this is destructive, this
(32:33):
isn't working, and we need adifferent way. So I think we need
to get the word out there andas. As much as possible. So I'll
be doing that. And then I havemy blog at kids are capable.net and
I keep posting their articlesand such to encourage parents, so
people are welcome to look meup on that.
So where can listeners findyour book the Road Less Travel, Reclaiming
Childhood for Christianity?
(32:55):
It's on Amazon and Barnes andNoble and any place you normally
shop for books. I think it'sslightly discounted right now, so
get it while it's hot.
Well, Kyle, thank you so muchfor sharing your heart, your wisdom,
your vision for reclaimingchildhood through faith. Your book
is a powerful reminder thatthe most meaningful transformations
(33:16):
often begin at home and in thequiet moments of intentional love
and discipleship for ourlisteners. We'll welcome you to.
We'll include Kyle's booklinks and website and upcoming show
notes. So whether you're aparent or a teacher or simply someone
who cares deeply about thenext generation, the Road Less Traveled
is a must read. This isbecoming bridge builders and you've
(33:36):
been listening to your host,Reverend Keith Haney. Until next
time, keep walking the RoadLess traveled. It might just lead
to a closer heart, closer walkwith God.
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