The Confidence Equation

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Confidence isn’t something that just appears on game day—it’s something you build, train, and protect.

In this episode, I break down the Confidence Equation:
Confidence = Trusting Your Skills + Owning Your Role.

Through research and practical strategies, I'll explain how athletes can strengthen confidence by grounding it in preparation, self-awareness, and purpose. Learn how to shift from hoping to believing, how to find your place even when your role changes, and how to perform with composure when it matters most.

This episode also explores how coaches can build confidence through clear communication and feedback, and how parents can help their athletes cultivate confidence that lasts—on and off the field.

Because confidence isn’t a feeling—it’s a skill. And it’s one every athlete can train.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker (00:01):
I'm Dr.
Nassim Ebrahimi, and welcome toBecoming My Stronger Me, a
podcast designed to help youbecome stronger in mind, body,
and heart.
In season two, the mentalperformance series, we'll
explore the intricaterelationship between mental
performance, sports excellence,leadership, and personal growth
to help you become your strongeryou.

(00:21):
Today we're talking aboutsomething every athlete wants
more of.
Every coach tries to build, andevery parent hopes their child
develops.
Confidence.
But instead of treatingconfidence like a feeling that
comes and goes, I want to helpyou see that it is something you

(00:41):
can train, measure, andstrengthen over time, just like
endurance or strength.
And to do that, we'll use asimple but powerful formula I
call the confidence equation.
Confidence equals trusting yourskills plus owning your role.

(01:02):
That's it.
Two parts, both equallyimportant.
And when one side is lacking oris lower, confidence wobbles
unless the other side picks upthe slack.
So let's go a little bitfurther in depth into each part.

(01:23):
Let's start with the firstpart, trusting your skills.
This is the foundation.
It's about knowing that thework you've put in matters and
allowing that preparation toshow up when it counts.
Athletes often say, I just needto believe in myself.
And but belief without evidenceis hard to sustain.

(01:47):
That's why trusting your skillsis actually built on proof.
It's built on the momentsyou've done the work, the hours
at practice, the times thatyou've overcome those small
setbacks along the way andyou've improved.
Think about a basketball playerwho's made a thousand free

(02:08):
throws in training.
When they step up to the linewith the game on the line,
they're not hoping.
They're remembering.
They're recalling all the timesthat they've already done it,
that they've already made thatsame shot.
That's what trust looks like inmotion.
Letting the body do what thebody knows how to do.

(02:32):
Research in sports psychologysupports this idea.
Dr.
Albert Bandora, who introducedthe concept of self-efficacy,
found that confidence grows mostreliably from mastery
experiences, actually doing thething successfully.
Visualization, of course,helps, and I talk about this in

(02:54):
other episodes, andencouragement helps, but nothing
replaces experience.
That's why consistent practicematters, not just for
performance, but for buildingthe mental bank of proof that
fuels half of that equation forconfidence, trusting your

(03:16):
skills.

So athletes, ask yourself (03:17):
what have I already proven to myself
in training?
What is it that I can do?
Because your confidence growsevery time you recognize the
evidence of your own progress.
And let me point out, it's notjust about listing a whole list

(03:38):
of technical skills related toyour sport or tactical skills
related to your sport or evenjust physical skills related to
your sport.
But think about your ability tocommunicate, your ability to
learn, your ability to recoverquickly from mistakes.
These are all important skillsthat you need to trust in order
to stabilize your confidence.

(04:01):
Now let's talk about the secondpart of that equation: owning
your role.
This is where confidencebecomes more than just personal,
it becomes more relational.
Owning a role meansunderstanding how you fit into
the bigger picture and thenembracing it fully, whether it's

(04:22):
being the captain who leads,the substitute who brings energy
from the bench, or the defenderwho sacrifices for the team.
Too often athletes tie theirconfidence to outcomes, like
starting versus not starting orsitting at the start of a game,
scoring versus missing, winningversus losing.

(04:46):
But those are allcircumstances.
Confidence built oncircumstances is really fragile.
But confidence built onidentity, knowing your own value
and your role is steady.
When you own your role, yougive yourself permission to

(05:10):
matter in that moment and inevery moment.
And I've worked with highschool soccer players who have
struggled after moving from astarting position to then coming
off the bench.
And at first, confidence doesdip.
But once you can reframe themindset, focusing on how you can

(05:33):
change the tempo when you comeoff the base, control the
energy, or even mentor the otherplayers.
Confidence comes back in fullforce.
Minutes no longer define you.
Instead, the impact that youhave in the game becomes most

(05:55):
important.
And that shift from performanceto purpose is where confidence
really deepens.
There's a strong body ofresearch linking role clarity to
athlete confidence.
Studies published in theJournal of Applied Sports
Psychology show that whenathletes clearly understand

(06:17):
their responsibilities, theyexperience less anxiety and
perform more consistently underpressure.
So, coaches, this is where youcome in.
Role clarity starts withcommunication.
The clearer you are aboutexpectations, the easier it is

(06:37):
for athletes to trust what'sbeing asked of them and prepare
mentally for it.
Confidence doesn't just comefrom vague encouragement like
believe in yourself.
It comes from consistentmessages like, here's what
you're doing well, here's wherewe're gonna be growing, and

(06:58):
here's how you can help thisteam win, or you can help this
team be successful.
That's the difference betweenmotivation and development.
So, how can we apply thisequation, this confidence
equation in practice?
Let's bring the two piecestogether.

(07:19):
For example, before a game orcompetition, take a moment to
mentally check in with theequation.
Ask yourself, what are myskills and am I trusting them in
this moment?
What's my role today?
And can I own that?
If one feels shaky, thatbecomes your focus area as you

(07:41):
prepare for the game.
For example, if you'restruggling to trust your skills,
go back in your mind to theevidence that you have.
Review your preparation, watchclips of your good performances,
or visualize yourselfsucceeding.
If you're struggling to ownyour role, zoom out.
Ask yourself, what does my teamneed from me today?

(08:03):
And how can I deliver it in away that's effective?
This framework helps athletescontrol what's controllable
because confidence isn't aboutpredicting outcomes, it's about
preparing your mind and yourbody to respond well, no matter
what the outcome.
Coaches, one of the mostpractical ways to apply this

(08:29):
equation is through yourfeedback.
Help your athletes build trustin their skills by highlighting
specific progress, not justeffort.
Instead of saying you'reimproving, say your first touch
has become sharper.
You've clearly been working onthat.
Specific feedback strengthensmemory and memory reinforces

(08:51):
confidence.
And when it comes to owningroles, make time to redefine
them often because teams evolve,players grow, revisit
conversations about how eachathlete contributes to the
team's identity.
It not only clarifies purpose,but it reduces comparison and

(09:13):
builds that collectiveconfidence that we want in a
championship team.
Another tip for coaches usetraining environments to
challenge, but not crush theirconfidence.
The research on optimalchallenge shows that confidence
grows most when athletes facetasks that stretch but don't

(09:36):
overwhelm their skill level.
That's the sweet spot.
That's where we're going tohelp them push into flow state.
For parents, well, parents playa huge role here too.
Confidence at home oftendetermines how it shows up in
competition.
When your athlete comes homeafter a tough game, lead with

(09:58):
curiosity, not correction.
Instead of why didn't you playwell?
Try, what did you learn today?
Or what moment felt thetoughest.
That kind of languagereinforces that performance
doesn't define their worth.
It creates psychologicalsafety, the space where true

(10:20):
confidence will grow.
Also, praise effort andprocess, not just talent.
Research from Dr.
Carol Dweck's work on growthmindset shows that when kids are
praised for effort, they buildresilience.
When they're praised only forthe outcomes, they become much
more fragile under pressure.

(10:40):
You can build confidence byhelping your athletes see the
link between their preparationand their performance, reminding
them of their work ethic, theirconsistency, and their
character, not just their stats.
Finally, let's zoom out andtalk about building confidence

(11:02):
beyond sports.
This equation doesn't justapply to athletes, it applies to
life.
Trusting your skills might meanbelieving in your leadership
and your creativity and yourcommunication.
Owning your role might meanshowing up as an employee, a
teammate, a parent, a leader,wherever you are in your season

(11:25):
of life.
Confidence is not a feelingthat you wait for, it's a
relationship you build withyourself over time.
And when you find that balance,when you trust your skills and
own your role, you startperforming with calm, grounded
confidence that no outcome canshake.

(11:46):
Until next time, don't forgetto subscribe to the podcast,
join our Facebook group, send inyour stories and feedback.
And if you're looking for amental performance coach or want
more information, go towww.becoming my strongerme.com.
We can't wait to hear from you.