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June 30, 2025 8 mins

About the Host

Toby Brooks is an introspective speaker, coach, and author with experience in helping high-performance athletes and high achievers from diverse industries such as the arts, military, and entrepreneurship to navigate significant transitions in their lives. Through his personal journey from being an athlete to becoming a mentor and coach, Toby developed a keen insight into the identity shifts that accompany career and life changes. He has developed the UN.D.O.N.E. (tm) coaching model, aimed at helping individuals rebuild their lives and careers from the inside out.

Episode Summary

In this podcast episode, Toby Brooks explores the deep emotional journey many face as they transition from roles that once defined them. As someone who once sat in a locker room dealing with the loss of his identity as an athlete, Toby draws parallels between his experience and the struggles others face when their professional or personal identities change. He delves into what he terms "purpose storms," moments when individuals must confront the daunting question of who they are now that their previous roles have ended.

The episode further unpacks the journey of self-discovery and identity evolution. Toby highlights that losing an identity, whether it's as an athlete, a military leader, or a corporate executive, does not mean an end but rather a shift towards becoming something new. Using the story of Olympian Michael Phelps, he illustrates the profound impact identity loss can have and the need to grieve one's past identity to embrace new opportunities. This thoughtful discourse also introduces Toby's own UN.D.O.N.E. Method (tm), a framework for personal growth and transformation designed to guide people through significant life shifts with intention and courage.

Key Takeaways:

  • Identity transitions are a common and challenging experience that many people face, irrespective of their profession or achievement level.
  • Experiencing the end of a significant role or identity can lead to a deep period of introspection referred to as "purpose storms."
  • Grieving past identities is essential to moving forward and embracing new opportunities and roles in life.
  • The "Undone Method," Toby Brooks' coaching model, offers a structured approach to navigating personal and professional transitions.
  • Identity does not disappear with the loss of a role; it evolves, and with support, the shift can lead to new, fulfilling paths.

Notable Quotes:

  1. "Endings aren't just about what stops. They're about what shifts."
  2. "Identity doesn't evaporate. It evolves."
  3. "You might not be the athlete anymore, but maybe you're the mentor, the coach, the author, the entrepreneur."
  4. "You have to grieve the old before you can greet the new."
  5. "Even when it feels like it's over, it might just be the beginning."

Resources:

Tune in to the full episode to engage with Toby Brooks' insightful journey and learn more about navigating life's transitions. Stay tuned for more compelling discussions on identity, purpose, and transformation in upcoming episodes.

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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