January 12, 2024 • 30 mins
Have you ever felt like you were navigating through a storm of emotions, unsure of how to find your way back to joy? Nikki Pepper, host of the L.Y.F.E.style Optimized PepTalks Podcast, invites Cole to chart a course through his own battles with depression and anxiety and into happiness and confidence. With candid openness, he shares his voyage of discovery where self-compassion and mindfulness weren't just lifelines but the very sails that propelled him forward. Through this intimate conversation, Cole imparts actionable strategies like deep breathing and journaling to not just cope but thrive, and he reminds us that the most turbulent waters can lead to the calmest harbors of self-assurance and happiness.
The journey doesn't end at finding peace within ourselves; it's also about sowing seeds of joy in the world around us. Drawing from life's inevitable ups and downs, including my own grappling with loss and frustration, we explore how embracing our core values can steer us towards genuine contentment. Whether it's cultivating lasting relationships, rekindling old passions, or even the simple joy of being the best dog dad, this episode is an ode to the pursuit of an unstoppable life. We pull back the curtain on the transformative power of building confidence, fostering deep connections, and why making friends as an adult is more an adventure than a challenge. Join us on this expedition as we navigate the ocean of life with purpose, passion, and a little help from our friends.
Enjoy the episode? Post about it and share with your friends! You can tag the show on Instagram @Unstoppable.Podcast or tag me @ColeEvans. Have an idea for a topic you want me to cover? Send me a DM!
Please rate and review the show on whatever app you use to listen, it helps the show grow to new listeners just like you!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Becoming Unstoppable with Cole Evans.
I've struggled with lowself-worth, depression, anxiety
and shame for most of my life.
The more I've talked openlyabout this, the more I've found
how common these struggles arefor gay men.
It's taken so much hard work toovercome these inner battles
(00:21):
and I want to share with you howyou can win the battles too, so
you can enjoy your fucking lifelike the happy and fabulous
dude you are.
Through self-compassion, youcan heal from pain and trauma,
find love and acceptance foryourself, live authentically and
, most importantly, becomeunstoppable.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
So everybody, welcome to Lifestyle Optivized PEP
Talks Podcast, where I interviewindustry experts to give you
the latest and greatest tips inhealth, wellness and lifestyle.
And on today's episode we haveCole Evans here, so excited.
He is a happiness andconfidence coach and I don't
know who couldn't need morehappiness and confidence, so I'm
(01:07):
super excited to dive into ourconversation.
So first, maybe, just tell us alittle bit about yourself, how
you got started in becoming acoach and just a little bit
about you.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Yeah, thank you so much for having me.
So I got started into being ahappiness and confidence coach
because about a year ago I wasat my absolute rock bottom.
I was at in a very, very deep,dark depression.
Anxiety completely overwhelmedme, to the point that I couldn't
even get out of bed andfunction most days, and so I
(01:40):
knew I had to make a change.
I ended up going through amental health treatment program
for depression and anxiety thattaught me skill sets to help
manage that and really overcomeit in many ways, and so at the
very beginning of this year Imoved to Austin, texas,
permanently, and when I moved toAustin I decided I was going to
(02:05):
build the life that I'd alwayswanted and deserved, and that
really required a lot of work, alot of effort, and I went after
the things that I'd alwayswanted to do.
I joined the Austin Gaymanscourse, I joined Austin
Toastmasters, I really upped myactivity in social life with
(02:26):
friends, and I can say now, heream I, a year later and I'm the
happiest that I've ever been.
I'm the most confident thatI've ever been or, excuse me,
the most confident I've everbeen, and I figure, if I can do
that, anyone can and I want toshare that.
I feel like I found my purposeand I want to share that with
people.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I love that so much and really, what I'd like to
acknowledge you for is justbeing in probably a very dark
place, dealing with depression,dealing with anxiety, choosing
I'm going to commit to the tools, the resources, the program to
get me through this.
And now, here you are, on theother side, living your happiest
life, feeling confident andwanting to pass it along to
(03:08):
others.
So I think that's the mostbeautiful gift that you could
share.
And I would say the firstquestion that's coming through
is, you know, speaking tosomeone who is in that, you know
, kind of that low place, whatwould, what were kind of the
first things that you did to tohelp yourself, whether it was in
the program or elsewhere, totake that first step if you're,
(03:30):
you know, feeling really low inlife?
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Yeah, something that has been huge for me has been
mindfulness and self compassion.
Those are two kind of in thetwo staples of my recovery, and
the funny thing is is being inthe position that I'm in now my
mom is dealing with a lot ofdepression right now and I've
(03:54):
been able to be like OK, youknow, I know exactly how you
feel.
Here's what we're going to do,and one of the very first things
that really just helps tochange that emotional state is
I'm always like all right, just,and I even practice it myself.
Still, I'm like OK, we justneed to like take a big deep
breath, take a moment for myself, breathe in all the way.
(04:16):
And I've reached the point nowwhere I'm like I don't care if
I'm going to be late tosomething.
If I need that for me, I'mdoing it because I arrive in
such a better condition and Inever used to do that.
Self care has become a huge part.
I used to always be like verycodependent, very I'm going to
give everything of myself andthen later on, the victim.
(04:38):
So, yeah, I mean that's a hugeone.
Right there is if you feel anytype of anxiety, overwhelm,
unhappiness, like, take somedeep breaths for yourself,
prioritize yourself.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Yeah, I love that tip and I like that it gets to be
pretty simple and something thatyou can do on the spot in the
moment.
And I also really like what youshared about you know, when you
take care of yourself first,you're actually able to show up
as your best self, and knowingthat self care is actually the
least selfish thing that you cando in showing up and being that
(05:11):
best version of yourself, yeah,and my next question is what
really struck me is that selfcompassion.
I think that can relate with alot of people, whether it's, you
know, being hard on yourself orjudging yourself.
What are some of the ways thatyou've been able to practice
some more self compassion inyour life?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Yeah, one of the first things that was like a
breakthrough moment for me.
I remember it was just over ayear ago, like a year and a week
I was going through my littlemental treatment program still,
and I had this huge panic attackone morning and I just broke
down crying and I'm not a bigcrier, so this was like an
(05:51):
emotional breakthrough and Irecognized for the first time I
had been demanding perfection ofmyself for years and if I did
something 99% correct, that wastrash, it was a failure, it
(06:12):
wasn't good enough.
And so I constantly wasberating myself.
And I remember at the time mytherapist had suggested doing a
journaling exercise and it wasreally powerful.
It was actually designed by, Ibelieve, Dr Kristen Neff at UT
Austin and it is writing aboutif a friend was going through a
(06:37):
really hard time they're ontheir worst day, You're on your
best day how would you help them?
What would you say?
Note specifically the tone ofvoice.
And then the next exercise wasyou're going through a really
hard day.
How would you speak to yourself?
What would you say?
Again, note the tone of voice.
(06:57):
And the difference was nightand day.
I mean the friend I was like ohyou know I'm here for you and
how can I help you, and you knowlike we're going to get through
this and you know just verycompassionate and caring.
And then when I had a worst day, it was like you fucking idiot,
you piece of trash, how couldyou screw something like this up
(07:19):
?
Like you were just a completefailure.
And then the third exercise wasdid you notice a difference?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
And that has been something that just I mean it's
stuck with me ever since, and sonow I catch myself self
compassion.
So I, you know, if I make astupid mistake that any human
being on earth could make, youknow, I mean, the other day I
knocked over a soda, can spillall over my nightstand and I go,
oh you dumbass.
(07:48):
And then I'm like, whoa, youare not a dumbass.
Yeah, it is okay.
Like it is a simple, it is aspilled drink.
Like not a dumbass, you aretotally okay.
Like it's kind of funny, it'snot you know that big of a deal.
Like I just I recognize myhumanity more now than ever
before.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yeah, I love that and I think I really love that
exercise of you know writing theletter to a friend and then
writing the letter to yourselfand what comes to mind as well
is the things that you know.
Sometimes we can speak in ourhead but I would never say
allowed to another person and ifthat's the case, that's when
that can be kind of your filterto kind of look through and I
(08:30):
would say you know my.
My next question you gave, youknow, a light mind, a
lighthearted example of likespilling a soda.
Are there any instances youknow bigger picture or like
bigger things at stake, whetherit's like a job or relationship,
something that you know?
Maybe you felt like youstumbled.
What are some you know biggerat stake, things that you've
(08:52):
been able to work through interms of that happiness and self
compassion?
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Yeah, oh, you know, it's hard to have one come to
mind right now, because I havesuch a different mindset now
than I used to.
I really have it practiced on aregular basis radical
acceptance.
And so it's like when somethingdoesn't go my way and it's
completely out of control, andit's like, all right, well,
(09:17):
there's nothing that I can do.
Going Karen on these people isnot going to fix anything and I,
you know, because of that Ilive such a more peaceful life
now.
You know, I can think of I mean, it's just another funny
example, you know, and it's noteven a big deal.
(09:39):
You'd ask, like are there anybig deals?
And it's really hard for me tothink of that Cause, like I said
, I just it's water off adeath's back these days.
But a couple of weeks ago I washaving just a very high stress
weekend and I couldn't find ablack belt.
I have two belts I have a brownbelt and a black belt and of
course you've got to match yourbelt and your shoes, you know.
And like I'm a gay man, so Ihave to like make sure I'm on
(10:01):
point.
And I could not find this beltand I was like livid.
I was like storming around myhouse where the F is this belt?
This is ridiculous.
And I had, like I looked underall of these pales of clothes.
I couldn't find it anywhere.
I let that little voice insideof my head take control again
and so for about maybe two tofive minutes I was just like
(10:24):
frantically, like rushing aroundmy house, like cussing about
this belt, and I'm just likewhat the F?
Like oh, and I finally was likewhoa, whoa, why am I freaking
out?
So it is a belt, we will changeclothes, it is not a big deal.
Like I am getting into such acrazy frustrated state.
(10:47):
I am making this so much worsefor myself than it needs to be.
And I had that moment of clarityand then from there on, it was
easy.
But I mean, that was over.
Something little, you canimagine something big.
I still feel the same way.
Of course we all do.
We all have those moments offreaking out where it's like,
(11:08):
holy shit, what am I gonna do?
But it always comes around toall right, I can't control this,
so I'm just gonna accept it asis.
And what can I do to make thisbetter, even on the big things?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I love that and that was really.
I think the thing that stoodout to me was that radical
acceptance, and I like that youuse the word radical, because
that implies like it is soaccepting and not like kind of
accepting it Cause to be halfway, it's like you're still kind of
fighting it.
So I love the radicalacceptance as well as well.
(11:45):
What can I do to make thesituation better?
Control the controllables,which is truly all we can do.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Yeah, it doesn't mean you agree with it.
It doesn't mean you like it, itjust means okay, I'm accepting
that I can't change the outcome,so I'm gonna do the best with
it that I can and move on.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Exactly, and, I would say, with that kind of
transitioning towards creatinghappiness.
I think that's a big topic thatI'd love to dive into with you,
cause I feel like I've seenfrom the outside people who can
seem to have it all, but thenthey're so miserable, and then
the person who seems to havenothing can be so happy, so,
(12:27):
generated from this internalstate, what are some ways that
you have created or manufacturedhappiness in your own life?
Because it truly does come fromwithin, and so I'd love to hear
your top tips on that.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Yeah.
So one of the very first thingsthat I think is imperative if
you're going to create happinessfor yourself is you have to
determine core values foryourself.
So what are the things thatmatter most to you?
And then, from there, you buildvalue-based goals, because
milestone goals,achievement-based goals,
(13:02):
materialistic goals, do nothingfor you.
They're, you know, smokethrough a keyhole.
You get that really great senseof accomplishment, but then
you're like okay, onto the nextthing, like that was fine, it
was, it wasn't good enough, Icould do better.
What can I do next?
And it's just, it's very quick.
(13:22):
Value-based goals, however,create everlasting joy Because
they're about the things thatmatter most to you, and so, for
me, some of the value-basedgoals that I created was, you
know, I have two dogs, and so Idecided, all right, I'm going to
be the best dog dad ever tothem, because they love me so
(13:45):
much.
I love them so much.
And so part of that was I'mgoing to make sure that I spend
more time with them.
It's not just going to be like,oh, dad came home and they're
happy and I feed them, and it'slike, all right, go play.
And so we spend time together.
You know whether it's justcuddling or whether it's a
take-em-for-a-walk or, but Igive them so much more attention
(14:08):
now than I've ever given thembefore.
I pursued passions of mine thatI hadn't touched in years.
When I said I joined thegame-ins course, I sang all
growing up.
I mean all through school.
I was in the top choirs.
I had so many different solos.
I was on the worship team atchurch and you know one of the
lead worship singers, and I gotout of that at about 18 and I
(14:31):
didn't sing for 15 years and soI got back into singing because
I knew it was a passion of mine,I knew I enjoyed it.
It had been a while, so I usedto always sing tenor and now I'm
singing bass, but I love it,you know, and singing is
therapeutic.
It simulates the vagus nerve,which helps with anxiety, not to
(14:52):
mention it's just, it's fun andit's a commonality that brings
people together.
With that, it has completelyenriched my social life.
That's another thing that Imade a huge change on to create
happiness.
I remember I used to sit at homeand my whole thing.
I've determined because I'vecome full circle.
(15:14):
I've had full spectrum to seelike.
I've had the peak, I've had thevalley my two most common
coping skills, like unhealthycoping skills, isolate and
freeze.
So what I used to do all thetime was I would just sit at
home and I just watch TV andthat's it, and I would, you know
, be scrolling on my phone I'msimultaneously, because of
(15:36):
course, that's what we do asAmericans and I would see that
people were out having a greattime and it'd be like, man, that
looks like a lot of fun.
You know, I wish I could dothat.
It'd be great if I had, youknow, some friends that would
invite me.
Why would they?
I wasn't making any type of aneffort.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
It.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
I had to make an effort to go out and have fun,
and so with that, I have invitedfriends to go out and do things
.
Be it, hey, let's just go todinner, or hey, come over for a
game night, you know.
And in turn they'vereciprocated.
It's not just like my closegroup friends, it's also people
that are in my social circlethat I don't typically hang out
(16:16):
with, but we're friends andthey're like, hey, I'm gonna
have this party.
Or like this summer it was hey,come river tubing.
Or hey, come to this, you knowCookout that we're having, and
so that has just given me somuch joy in my life.
I've also, from joining Austintoast masters, that's allowed me
to pursue, you know,professional goals of speaking
(16:38):
and launching a podcast, and Imean that's how you part of how
you and I met, you know.
And so I, just in every aspectof my life, I'm like what can I
do to create a little bit morehappiness than what I've been
having?
And it requires making effort.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Yes, so so good.
I'm gonna reflect back a couplekey takeaways I'm like I'm
gonna be taking notes after thisso my a couple of my favorite
ones that you said.
It was definitely theValue-based goals, and that is
something I'm a huge advocate ofof once you hit a milestone,
it's great for like three daysand then you're right back on to
(17:14):
like, oh, that's the next goal,the next goal, and I think you
know, really being in a linewith your values, that's going
to be something that reallyfulfills you.
And the second favorite thingthat I love that you said was
you know you have to put theeffort in, and the phrase that
comes to mind is Give what youwant to receive.
So, like, if you want toreceive love, give what love.
(17:36):
If you want to receive joy, bejoyous and it'll be reflected
back.
So I think it goes to show thatwhatever you put in is what
you're going to get out and I.
Have two.
One more question aroundvalue-based goals, and then I
want to shift into a little bitaround confidence, but with the
value-based goals.
(17:57):
Since you are a coach, I wouldlove to hear your you know tips
for someone to start to identifythose values that they can
start to, you know, make thosegoals around.
So what's maybe like a values,core values exercise that
someone could, you know, tryAfter this live.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah.
So I thought a lot about thisand I Came to my core values,
like the ones that are someaningful and just like deeply
rooted within who I am.
After I fixed theself-compassion piece and after
I kind of had that light bulbmoment, I Think that I don't
(18:35):
think I know that if I hadcreated Core values before I
figured out I don't have to be aperfectionist before I figured
out it's okay to give myselfgrace and love myself, my core
values would have been totallydifferent.
They probably would have beenvery achievement materialistic
(18:55):
based.
Some of them would have beenprobably the same, you know.
I mean love and gratitude wouldhave been the same, I'm sure,
but I would have probably had alot of the other ones shifted.
Like you know, achievementwould have been more around the
I'm gonna do xyz rather thanachievement is a Perpetual sense
(19:17):
of growing towards what I want.
Yes, but one of the best ways ifyou're wanting to find like
core values is, honestly, if youjust Google Brene Brown core
values, she's got a worksheetwhere she's like here's like 60
different Values that you knowmight relate, and what I did was
that's actually the sheet thatI was given by my therapist when
(19:39):
I went through this program andI picked out some that really
resonated.
It also helped me inbrainstorming that I was able to
be like I don't really likethat one, but you know, that
kind of sparked this idea, whatabout kids or this?
And so you know you can't havelike a dozen.
You could have a dozen corevalues, but it's better to have,
(20:00):
you know, five or six to reallyfocus in on.
And so I would go through and Ilike highlighted okay, I like
this one, I like this one.
And then I would like eliminate, eliminate, eliminate,
eliminate, until I got it backdown to like Okay, here's like
six really good ones that Ireally like and really resonate
with me.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Hmm, I love that and I think the two takeaways from
there would be Number one, thatthe foundation is compassion.
So we have to, we get to build,you know, on those layers of
that healing journey.
And the second thing is thatless is more so, sticking to
those core five, and Me and somegirlfriends this weekend we
(20:40):
actually had a little likemastermind retreat, just three
of us, and the first thing thatwe did, before any like business
life planning for the day, waswe identified our five core
values for the year.
So we kind of you know, somemay be the same and we kind of
take a look, took a look at 2024, and we're like what are the
values that we're going to liveby this year before we set any
(21:02):
other goals?
So I love that as a process and, and speaking of which,
ironically one of my values forthis year is confidence.
So I would love to hear abouthow you have improved your own
confidence or, you know, workthrough overcoming any
self-doubt or any like impostersyndrome.
What are some ways that youwork on your confidence that
(21:25):
someone could maybe take awayfor improving their own?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Yeah, you know, you know I, one of my mentors, is
Rob dial.
I'm actually going through histraining, certification, as I,
you know, have become a coachand something that he says all
the time and I'm like man, itjust, it just makes sense.
It's fuck it up and figure itout.
We learn by doing.
(21:49):
And so I like, even before Robwas one of my mentors, I had
figured out like, okay, the bestway for me to just go out and
become better is to just do, andthe only way to become
confident is to do it enoughtimes that you no longer have
that fear.
And so, whether it is, you know, if it's social anxiety that
(22:14):
you're trying to be confident in, it's all right, I'm going to
go out with my friends.
I'm first, you know, you mighthave to text your friends and be
like, hey, let's go out, youknow, but then actually going
out and like just spending timeout there and making an effort
to actually chime into theconversation.
I have dealt with social anxiety.
I used to think that I was avery socially awkward person.
(22:36):
I'm not.
I'm not a socially awkwardperson, I just wasn't maybe
confident in myself because atthe time I had love myself.
And so, by doing itconsistently enough.
Now I can go out, and I mean,you know, other things helped
with that as well like doingtoast masters and getting up in
front of people and talking.
I'm the social chairman of theAustin Gaymans course now.
(22:57):
So like to go from someone whothought that I was a complete
introvert and socially awkwardto I'm in charge of all of our
social events and I get up thereand I'm like hey, like, I'm
Cruz, director Cole is what weall call me.
That's basically what I'm doing.
But I learned by doing, youknow, and that works in every
single aspect of life.
(23:18):
I've worked in sales for 15years.
You know when you first startdoing something.
Oh, when I first started doinghome improvement sales, I was in
a home for four, five, sixhours and people were like, oh
my God, get out of our house.
And it's like, well, I'm tryingto do what I was taught.
And now it's like, you know, ifI go into someone's home, I'm
in and out in two and a halfhours and like, like, that's
(23:39):
like sold, not sold, whatever.
But I know I did everythingthat I could.
And they're like oh my gosh,you've been here for two and a
half hours I had no idea andit's like, yeah, because I made
it fun and you had no idea.
So if you want to get confident, you just have to do.
And it's not going to be greatat first but every single time
you do it you'll get better andeventually you'll have that
(24:02):
unconscious confidence.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Yes, so good.
I love that.
Taking messy action and like doit and so is.
I always like to say you know,doing the action also brings the
clarity and that repetition andthe more you do it, you're
going to get better before youknow it.
Yeah, amazing.
So any last pieces of advicehere before we hop off and then
(24:26):
I'll let everyone connect withyou, but any last shares on
creating happiness or aroundconfidence, self compassion,
anything to leave our viewerswith today.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Yeah, I actually I want to share on something that
I like.
Literally, it's only been inthe last few weeks that I really
have maybe figured this out,something that I knew.
But it was one of those thingsthat, until you get into like
the mud of it, you don't reallylike see.
And so I've talked about howI've built this friend group and
I went out and I, you know, Ibuilt the life that I always
(24:59):
wanted, and a big part of thatwas building Circle, genuine
friends that I truly care aboutand that truly care about me.
That I've really never hadbefore.
I've always been the person thatI struggle to ask for help,
like I don't need support.
I'm very independent, I can doeverything all on my own.
But in these last few weeksI've just had a few things
(25:21):
happen in my life that I'm likehey, I feel like I'm on a little
bit of an emotional rollercoaster and I like, because
these friends know me, they'vereached out and they've been
like, hey, are you okay, are youfeeling alright?
You know like, just let us knowif you need anything, and that
felt really good, because itwasn't natural for me to, you
know, go out and be like, hey,here's what I'm going through.
(25:43):
I wanted to default to thoseunhealthy coping skills of
isolate and freeze, and sobecause the day, kind of like,
reached out and they were justlike, hey, let us know if you
need anything, I decided, okay,I'm just gonna tell you.
Hey, here's what's happeningright now.
These are the couple of thingsthat I'm going through.
I'm totally fine.
(26:04):
This is temporary.
I have a plan, but I couldreally use some extra love and
support.
I could really use some extrahugs.
Like this is just a little bitof a rough patch.
I'm really learning a lot, butI need your support, and that
was growth on my end to be ableto ask for help.
But it also proved to me wow,okay, like going out and
(26:28):
building the life that youalways wanted and creating this
friendship circle that genuinelycare about you, like that pays
dividends, and so Part ofbecoming a happy and confident
person is you have to have thatsocial circle, you have to build
that group of friends, and it'snot gonna happen overnight, but
(26:49):
if you don't get out there anddo it, it's never gonna happen.
And the best way to go about itis you don't have to do like I
do what I did, where I, you know, is like I'm gonna start a
completely fresh life, I'm gonnaoverhaul everything and join
all these different things.
Find one thing maybe in twentyfour, there's one thing that
(27:09):
you're like, man, what issomething that I'm passionate
about but I really enjoy?
I can go and do in a groupsetting and go do it, because
guess what?
That's your commonality.
That's where you're finding thepeople.
It is not hard to make friends.
Everyone says, man, when you'rean adult, it's hard to make
friends as an adult.
No, it's not.
It's because you're not puttingin the effort.
(27:30):
You just.
All you have to do is find thecommonality that you're all
passionate about and from thereeverything else is easy.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
I love that so much and I think it truly is all
about who we surround ourselveswith and you become the top five
people that you spend time with, and I think all that to say,
all it is, is taking one stepjoin one group, go to one
community events and if you, ifyou're out there and you look
for it, you will find it.
(27:57):
So, speaking of surroundingyourself with amazing people,
call, tell us how people canfind you, how they can work with
you and how they can reach outif they're looking to you.
Know, increase their happinessand confidence.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Yeah, you can follow me on instagram.
My name it or my handle, is colEvans.
It's just my name, all one word.
You can follow and listen my tomy podcast, which is becoming
unstoppable, with col Evans andthe instagram handle for that is
unstoppable dot podcast.
It's on all platforms but appleand spot, if I are the two
(28:33):
easiest ones to find them.
And as far as if you'd like towork with me or ask any
questions or you know, just do afree consultation and a
discovery call and see if it'ssomething that would be a fit.
Send me a dm on instagram andit will set up a time to talk
and we'll do a 45 minutediscovery call and see how we
(28:53):
can help to build the happinessand the confidence that you want
to have the life you've alwayswanted.
Because it can do it, anyonecan yes, I love it so much.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Definitely reach out to call.
He's amazing.
We got to spend a whole weekendtogether with no phone, so I
know he's a great person tospend time and I love hearing it
from someone who has beenthrough the process himself, so
can definitely take your handand we do along the way.
That'll do it for today'sepisode of pep talks podcast.
Definitely check out callspodcast and we'll see you here
(29:25):
next time.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Thanks so much for having me on by.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Thank you for coming.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Thanks for joining the show today on another
episode of becoming unstoppablewith coal Evans.
If you guys enjoyed the show,please share it with the friend
or post on social media.
Be sure to tag the show oninstagram at unstoppable dot
podcast or tag me at coal Evans.
(29:52):
That's C O L E E V A N S.
Please follow and rate the showon whatever platform you use.
It helps the algorithms tofeature our show to new
listeners.
Just like you, my goal inhosting this podcast is to make
an impact on people's lives andhelp people to find the peace
(30:16):
and happiness through selfcompassion.
Just like I have, of course,become unstoppable.
I hope you guys have a greatday.
I can't wait to hang out withyou on our next episode.
Until then, this is coal Evanssigning off.
Stay fabulous, y'all.
Welcome to Becoming Unstoppable with Cole Evans.
I've struggled with lowself-worth, depression, anxiety
and shame for most of my life.
The more I've talked openlyabout this, the more I've found
how common these struggles arefor gay men.
It's taken so much hard work toovercome these inner battles
(00:21):
and I want to share with you howyou can win the battles too, so
you can enjoy your fucking lifelike the happy and fabulous
dude you are.
Through self-compassion, youcan heal from pain and trauma,
find love and acceptance foryourself, live authentically and
, most importantly, becomeunstoppable.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
So everybody, welcome to Lifestyle Optivized PEP
Talks Podcast, where I interviewindustry experts to give you
the latest and greatest tips inhealth, wellness and lifestyle.
And on today's episode we haveCole Evans here, so excited.
He is a happiness andconfidence coach and I don't
know who couldn't need morehappiness and confidence, so I'm
(01:07):
super excited to dive into ourconversation.
So first, maybe, just tell us alittle bit about yourself, how
you got started in becoming acoach and just a little bit
about you.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Yeah, thank you so much for having me.
So I got started into being ahappiness and confidence coach
because about a year ago I wasat my absolute rock bottom.
I was at in a very, very deep,dark depression.
Anxiety completely overwhelmedme, to the point that I couldn't
even get out of bed andfunction most days, and so I
(01:40):
knew I had to make a change.
I ended up going through amental health treatment program
for depression and anxiety thattaught me skill sets to help
manage that and really overcomeit in many ways, and so at the
very beginning of this year Imoved to Austin, texas,
permanently, and when I moved toAustin I decided I was going to
(02:05):
build the life that I'd alwayswanted and deserved, and that
really required a lot of work, alot of effort, and I went after
the things that I'd alwayswanted to do.
I joined the Austin Gaymanscourse, I joined Austin
Toastmasters, I really upped myactivity in social life with
(02:26):
friends, and I can say now, heream I, a year later and I'm the
happiest that I've ever been.
I'm the most confident thatI've ever been or, excuse me,
the most confident I've everbeen, and I figure, if I can do
that, anyone can and I want toshare that.
I feel like I found my purposeand I want to share that with
people.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I love that so much and really, what I'd like to
acknowledge you for is justbeing in probably a very dark
place, dealing with depression,dealing with anxiety, choosing
I'm going to commit to the tools, the resources, the program to
get me through this.
And now, here you are, on theother side, living your happiest
life, feeling confident andwanting to pass it along to
(03:08):
others.
So I think that's the mostbeautiful gift that you could
share.
And I would say the firstquestion that's coming through
is, you know, speaking tosomeone who is in that, you know
, kind of that low place, whatwould, what were kind of the
first things that you did to tohelp yourself, whether it was in
the program or elsewhere, totake that first step if you're,
(03:30):
you know, feeling really low inlife?
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Yeah, something that has been huge for me has been
mindfulness and self compassion.
Those are two kind of in thetwo staples of my recovery, and
the funny thing is is being inthe position that I'm in now my
mom is dealing with a lot ofdepression right now and I've
(03:54):
been able to be like OK, youknow, I know exactly how you
feel.
Here's what we're going to do,and one of the very first things
that really just helps tochange that emotional state is
I'm always like all right, just,and I even practice it myself.
Still, I'm like OK, we justneed to like take a big deep
breath, take a moment for myself, breathe in all the way.
(04:16):
And I've reached the point nowwhere I'm like I don't care if
I'm going to be late tosomething.
If I need that for me, I'mdoing it because I arrive in
such a better condition and Inever used to do that.
Self care has become a huge part.
I used to always be like verycodependent, very I'm going to
give everything of myself andthen later on, the victim.
(04:38):
So, yeah, I mean that's a hugeone.
Right there is if you feel anytype of anxiety, overwhelm,
unhappiness, like, take somedeep breaths for yourself,
prioritize yourself.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Yeah, I love that tip and I like that it gets to be
pretty simple and something thatyou can do on the spot in the
moment.
And I also really like what youshared about you know, when you
take care of yourself first,you're actually able to show up
as your best self, and knowingthat self care is actually the
least selfish thing that you cando in showing up and being that
(05:11):
best version of yourself, yeah,and my next question is what
really struck me is that selfcompassion.
I think that can relate with alot of people, whether it's, you
know, being hard on yourself orjudging yourself.
What are some of the ways thatyou've been able to practice
some more self compassion inyour life?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Yeah, one of the first things that was like a
breakthrough moment for me.
I remember it was just over ayear ago, like a year and a week
I was going through my littlemental treatment program still,
and I had this huge panic attackone morning and I just broke
down crying and I'm not a bigcrier, so this was like an
(05:51):
emotional breakthrough and Irecognized for the first time I
had been demanding perfection ofmyself for years and if I did
something 99% correct, that wastrash, it was a failure, it
(06:12):
wasn't good enough.
And so I constantly wasberating myself.
And I remember at the time mytherapist had suggested doing a
journaling exercise and it wasreally powerful.
It was actually designed by, Ibelieve, Dr Kristen Neff at UT
Austin and it is writing aboutif a friend was going through a
(06:37):
really hard time they're ontheir worst day, You're on your
best day how would you help them?
What would you say?
Note specifically the tone ofvoice.
And then the next exercise wasyou're going through a really
hard day.
How would you speak to yourself?
What would you say?
Again, note the tone of voice.
(06:57):
And the difference was nightand day.
I mean the friend I was like ohyou know I'm here for you and
how can I help you, and you knowlike we're going to get through
this and you know just verycompassionate and caring.
And then when I had a worst day, it was like you fucking idiot,
you piece of trash, how couldyou screw something like this up
(07:19):
?
Like you were just a completefailure.
And then the third exercise wasdid you notice a difference?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
And that has been something that just I mean it's
stuck with me ever since, and sonow I catch myself self
compassion.
So I, you know, if I make astupid mistake that any human
being on earth could make, youknow, I mean, the other day I
knocked over a soda, can spillall over my nightstand and I go,
oh you dumbass.
(07:48):
And then I'm like, whoa, youare not a dumbass.
Yeah, it is okay.
Like it is a simple, it is aspilled drink.
Like not a dumbass, you aretotally okay.
Like it's kind of funny, it'snot you know that big of a deal.
Like I just I recognize myhumanity more now than ever
before.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yeah, I love that and I think I really love that
exercise of you know writing theletter to a friend and then
writing the letter to yourselfand what comes to mind as well
is the things that you know.
Sometimes we can speak in ourhead but I would never say
allowed to another person and ifthat's the case, that's when
that can be kind of your filterto kind of look through and I
(08:30):
would say you know my.
My next question you gave, youknow, a light mind, a
lighthearted example of likespilling a soda.
Are there any instances youknow bigger picture or like
bigger things at stake, whetherit's like a job or relationship,
something that you know?
Maybe you felt like youstumbled.
What are some you know biggerat stake, things that you've
(08:52):
been able to work through interms of that happiness and self
compassion?
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Yeah, oh, you know, it's hard to have one come to
mind right now, because I havesuch a different mindset now
than I used to.
I really have it practiced on aregular basis radical
acceptance.
And so it's like when somethingdoesn't go my way and it's
completely out of control, andit's like, all right, well,
(09:17):
there's nothing that I can do.
Going Karen on these people isnot going to fix anything and I,
you know, because of that Ilive such a more peaceful life
now.
You know, I can think of I mean, it's just another funny
example, you know, and it's noteven a big deal.
(09:39):
You'd ask, like are there anybig deals?
And it's really hard for me tothink of that Cause, like I said
, I just it's water off adeath's back these days.
But a couple of weeks ago I washaving just a very high stress
weekend and I couldn't find ablack belt.
I have two belts I have a brownbelt and a black belt and of
course you've got to match yourbelt and your shoes, you know.
And like I'm a gay man, so Ihave to like make sure I'm on
(10:01):
point.
And I could not find this beltand I was like livid.
I was like storming around myhouse where the F is this belt?
This is ridiculous.
And I had, like I looked underall of these pales of clothes.
I couldn't find it anywhere.
I let that little voice insideof my head take control again
and so for about maybe two tofive minutes I was just like
(10:24):
frantically, like rushing aroundmy house, like cussing about
this belt, and I'm just likewhat the F?
Like oh, and I finally was likewhoa, whoa, why am I freaking
out?
So it is a belt, we will changeclothes, it is not a big deal.
Like I am getting into such acrazy frustrated state.
(10:47):
I am making this so much worsefor myself than it needs to be.
And I had that moment of clarityand then from there on, it was
easy.
But I mean, that was over.
Something little, you canimagine something big.
I still feel the same way.
Of course we all do.
We all have those moments offreaking out where it's like,
(11:08):
holy shit, what am I gonna do?
But it always comes around toall right, I can't control this,
so I'm just gonna accept it asis.
And what can I do to make thisbetter, even on the big things?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I love that and that was really.
I think the thing that stoodout to me was that radical
acceptance, and I like that youuse the word radical, because
that implies like it is soaccepting and not like kind of
accepting it Cause to be halfway, it's like you're still kind of
fighting it.
So I love the radicalacceptance as well as well.
(11:45):
What can I do to make thesituation better?
Control the controllables,which is truly all we can do.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Yeah, it doesn't mean you agree with it.
It doesn't mean you like it, itjust means okay, I'm accepting
that I can't change the outcome,so I'm gonna do the best with
it that I can and move on.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Exactly, and, I would say, with that kind of
transitioning towards creatinghappiness.
I think that's a big topic thatI'd love to dive into with you,
cause I feel like I've seenfrom the outside people who can
seem to have it all, but thenthey're so miserable, and then
the person who seems to havenothing can be so happy, so,
(12:27):
generated from this internalstate, what are some ways that
you have created or manufacturedhappiness in your own life?
Because it truly does come fromwithin, and so I'd love to hear
your top tips on that.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Yeah.
So one of the very first thingsthat I think is imperative if
you're going to create happinessfor yourself is you have to
determine core values foryourself.
So what are the things thatmatter most to you?
And then, from there, you buildvalue-based goals, because
milestone goals,achievement-based goals,
(13:02):
materialistic goals, do nothingfor you.
They're, you know, smokethrough a keyhole.
You get that really great senseof accomplishment, but then
you're like okay, onto the nextthing, like that was fine, it
was, it wasn't good enough, Icould do better.
What can I do next?
And it's just, it's very quick.
(13:22):
Value-based goals, however,create everlasting joy Because
they're about the things thatmatter most to you, and so, for
me, some of the value-basedgoals that I created was, you
know, I have two dogs, and so Idecided, all right, I'm going to
be the best dog dad ever tothem, because they love me so
(13:45):
much.
I love them so much.
And so part of that was I'mgoing to make sure that I spend
more time with them.
It's not just going to be like,oh, dad came home and they're
happy and I feed them, and it'slike, all right, go play.
And so we spend time together.
You know whether it's justcuddling or whether it's a
take-em-for-a-walk or, but Igive them so much more attention
(14:08):
now than I've ever given thembefore.
I pursued passions of mine thatI hadn't touched in years.
When I said I joined thegame-ins course, I sang all
growing up.
I mean all through school.
I was in the top choirs.
I had so many different solos.
I was on the worship team atchurch and you know one of the
lead worship singers, and I gotout of that at about 18 and I
(14:31):
didn't sing for 15 years and soI got back into singing because
I knew it was a passion of mine,I knew I enjoyed it.
It had been a while, so I usedto always sing tenor and now I'm
singing bass, but I love it,you know, and singing is
therapeutic.
It simulates the vagus nerve,which helps with anxiety, not to
(14:52):
mention it's just, it's fun andit's a commonality that brings
people together.
With that, it has completelyenriched my social life.
That's another thing that Imade a huge change on to create
happiness.
I remember I used to sit at homeand my whole thing.
I've determined because I'vecome full circle.
(15:14):
I've had full spectrum to seelike.
I've had the peak, I've had thevalley my two most common
coping skills, like unhealthycoping skills, isolate and
freeze.
So what I used to do all thetime was I would just sit at
home and I just watch TV andthat's it, and I would, you know
, be scrolling on my phone I'msimultaneously, because of
(15:36):
course, that's what we do asAmericans and I would see that
people were out having a greattime and it'd be like, man, that
looks like a lot of fun.
You know, I wish I could dothat.
It'd be great if I had, youknow, some friends that would
invite me.
Why would they?
I wasn't making any type of aneffort.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
It.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
I had to make an effort to go out and have fun,
and so with that, I have invitedfriends to go out and do things
.
Be it, hey, let's just go todinner, or hey, come over for a
game night, you know.
And in turn they'vereciprocated.
It's not just like my closegroup friends, it's also people
that are in my social circlethat I don't typically hang out
(16:16):
with, but we're friends andthey're like, hey, I'm gonna
have this party.
Or like this summer it was hey,come river tubing.
Or hey, come to this, you knowCookout that we're having, and
so that has just given me somuch joy in my life.
I've also, from joining Austintoast masters, that's allowed me
to pursue, you know,professional goals of speaking
(16:38):
and launching a podcast, and Imean that's how you part of how
you and I met, you know.
And so I, just in every aspectof my life, I'm like what can I
do to create a little bit morehappiness than what I've been
having?
And it requires making effort.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Yes, so so good.
I'm gonna reflect back a couplekey takeaways I'm like I'm
gonna be taking notes after thisso my a couple of my favorite
ones that you said.
It was definitely theValue-based goals, and that is
something I'm a huge advocate ofof once you hit a milestone,
it's great for like three daysand then you're right back on to
(17:14):
like, oh, that's the next goal,the next goal, and I think you
know, really being in a linewith your values, that's going
to be something that reallyfulfills you.
And the second favorite thingthat I love that you said was
you know you have to put theeffort in, and the phrase that
comes to mind is Give what youwant to receive.
So, like, if you want toreceive love, give what love.
(17:36):
If you want to receive joy, bejoyous and it'll be reflected
back.
So I think it goes to show thatwhatever you put in is what
you're going to get out and I.
Have two.
One more question aroundvalue-based goals, and then I
want to shift into a little bitaround confidence, but with the
value-based goals.
(17:57):
Since you are a coach, I wouldlove to hear your you know tips
for someone to start to identifythose values that they can
start to, you know, make thosegoals around.
So what's maybe like a values,core values exercise that
someone could, you know, tryAfter this live.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah.
So I thought a lot about thisand I Came to my core values,
like the ones that are someaningful and just like deeply
rooted within who I am.
After I fixed theself-compassion piece and after
I kind of had that light bulbmoment, I Think that I don't
(18:35):
think I know that if I hadcreated Core values before I
figured out I don't have to be aperfectionist before I figured
out it's okay to give myselfgrace and love myself, my core
values would have been totallydifferent.
They probably would have beenvery achievement materialistic
(18:55):
based.
Some of them would have beenprobably the same, you know.
I mean love and gratitude wouldhave been the same, I'm sure,
but I would have probably had alot of the other ones shifted.
Like you know, achievementwould have been more around the
I'm gonna do xyz rather thanachievement is a Perpetual sense
(19:17):
of growing towards what I want.
Yes, but one of the best ways ifyou're wanting to find like
core values is, honestly, if youjust Google Brene Brown core
values, she's got a worksheetwhere she's like here's like 60
different Values that you knowmight relate, and what I did was
that's actually the sheet thatI was given by my therapist when
(19:39):
I went through this program andI picked out some that really
resonated.
It also helped me inbrainstorming that I was able to
be like I don't really likethat one, but you know, that
kind of sparked this idea, whatabout kids or this?
And so you know you can't havelike a dozen.
You could have a dozen corevalues, but it's better to have,
(20:00):
you know, five or six to reallyfocus in on.
And so I would go through and Ilike highlighted okay, I like
this one, I like this one.
And then I would like eliminate, eliminate, eliminate,
eliminate, until I got it backdown to like Okay, here's like
six really good ones that Ireally like and really resonate
with me.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Hmm, I love that and I think the two takeaways from
there would be Number one, thatthe foundation is compassion.
So we have to, we get to build,you know, on those layers of
that healing journey.
And the second thing is thatless is more so, sticking to
those core five, and Me and somegirlfriends this weekend we
(20:40):
actually had a little likemastermind retreat, just three
of us, and the first thing thatwe did, before any like business
life planning for the day, waswe identified our five core
values for the year.
So we kind of you know, somemay be the same and we kind of
take a look, took a look at 2024, and we're like what are the
values that we're going to liveby this year before we set any
(21:02):
other goals?
So I love that as a process and, and speaking of which,
ironically one of my values forthis year is confidence.
So I would love to hear abouthow you have improved your own
confidence or, you know, workthrough overcoming any
self-doubt or any like impostersyndrome.
What are some ways that youwork on your confidence that
(21:25):
someone could maybe take awayfor improving their own?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Yeah, you know, you know I, one of my mentors, is
Rob dial.
I'm actually going through histraining, certification, as I,
you know, have become a coachand something that he says all
the time and I'm like man, itjust, it just makes sense.
It's fuck it up and figure itout.
We learn by doing.
(21:49):
And so I like, even before Robwas one of my mentors, I had
figured out like, okay, the bestway for me to just go out and
become better is to just do, andthe only way to become
confident is to do it enoughtimes that you no longer have
that fear.
And so, whether it is, you know, if it's social anxiety that
(22:14):
you're trying to be confident in, it's all right, I'm going to
go out with my friends.
I'm first, you know, you mighthave to text your friends and be
like, hey, let's go out, youknow, but then actually going
out and like just spending timeout there and making an effort
to actually chime into theconversation.
I have dealt with social anxiety.
I used to think that I was avery socially awkward person.
(22:36):
I'm not.
I'm not a socially awkwardperson, I just wasn't maybe
confident in myself because atthe time I had love myself.
And so, by doing itconsistently enough.
Now I can go out, and I mean,you know, other things helped
with that as well like doingtoast masters and getting up in
front of people and talking.
I'm the social chairman of theAustin Gaymans course now.
(22:57):
So like to go from someone whothought that I was a complete
introvert and socially awkwardto I'm in charge of all of our
social events and I get up thereand I'm like hey, like, I'm
Cruz, director Cole is what weall call me.
That's basically what I'm doing.
But I learned by doing, youknow, and that works in every
single aspect of life.
(23:18):
I've worked in sales for 15years.
You know when you first startdoing something.
Oh, when I first started doinghome improvement sales, I was in
a home for four, five, sixhours and people were like, oh
my God, get out of our house.
And it's like, well, I'm tryingto do what I was taught.
And now it's like, you know, ifI go into someone's home, I'm
in and out in two and a halfhours and like, like, that's
(23:39):
like sold, not sold, whatever.
But I know I did everythingthat I could.
And they're like oh my gosh,you've been here for two and a
half hours I had no idea andit's like, yeah, because I made
it fun and you had no idea.
So if you want to get confident, you just have to do.
And it's not going to be greatat first but every single time
you do it you'll get better andeventually you'll have that
(24:02):
unconscious confidence.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Yes, so good.
I love that.
Taking messy action and like doit and so is.
I always like to say you know,doing the action also brings the
clarity and that repetition andthe more you do it, you're
going to get better before youknow it.
Yeah, amazing.
So any last pieces of advicehere before we hop off and then
(24:26):
I'll let everyone connect withyou, but any last shares on
creating happiness or aroundconfidence, self compassion,
anything to leave our viewerswith today.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Yeah, I actually I want to share on something that
I like.
Literally, it's only been inthe last few weeks that I really
have maybe figured this out,something that I knew.
But it was one of those thingsthat, until you get into like
the mud of it, you don't reallylike see.
And so I've talked about howI've built this friend group and
I went out and I, you know, Ibuilt the life that I always
(24:59):
wanted, and a big part of thatwas building Circle, genuine
friends that I truly care aboutand that truly care about me.
That I've really never hadbefore.
I've always been the person thatI struggle to ask for help,
like I don't need support.
I'm very independent, I can doeverything all on my own.
But in these last few weeksI've just had a few things
(25:21):
happen in my life that I'm likehey, I feel like I'm on a little
bit of an emotional rollercoaster and I like, because
these friends know me, they'vereached out and they've been
like, hey, are you okay, are youfeeling alright?
You know like, just let us knowif you need anything, and that
felt really good, because itwasn't natural for me to, you
know, go out and be like, hey,here's what I'm going through.
(25:43):
I wanted to default to thoseunhealthy coping skills of
isolate and freeze, and sobecause the day, kind of like,
reached out and they were justlike, hey, let us know if you
need anything, I decided, okay,I'm just gonna tell you.
Hey, here's what's happeningright now.
These are the couple of thingsthat I'm going through.
I'm totally fine.
(26:04):
This is temporary.
I have a plan, but I couldreally use some extra love and
support.
I could really use some extrahugs.
Like this is just a little bitof a rough patch.
I'm really learning a lot, butI need your support, and that
was growth on my end to be ableto ask for help.
But it also proved to me wow,okay, like going out and
(26:28):
building the life that youalways wanted and creating this
friendship circle that genuinelycare about you, like that pays
dividends, and so Part ofbecoming a happy and confident
person is you have to have thatsocial circle, you have to build
that group of friends, and it'snot gonna happen overnight, but
(26:49):
if you don't get out there anddo it, it's never gonna happen.
And the best way to go about itis you don't have to do like I
do what I did, where I, you know, is like I'm gonna start a
completely fresh life, I'm gonnaoverhaul everything and join
all these different things.
Find one thing maybe in twentyfour, there's one thing that
(27:09):
you're like, man, what issomething that I'm passionate
about but I really enjoy?
I can go and do in a groupsetting and go do it, because
guess what?
That's your commonality.
That's where you're finding thepeople.
It is not hard to make friends.
Everyone says, man, when you'rean adult, it's hard to make
friends as an adult.
No, it's not.
It's because you're not puttingin the effort.
(27:30):
You just.
All you have to do is find thecommonality that you're all
passionate about and from thereeverything else is easy.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
I love that so much and I think it truly is all
about who we surround ourselveswith and you become the top five
people that you spend time with, and I think all that to say,
all it is, is taking one stepjoin one group, go to one
community events and if you, ifyou're out there and you look
for it, you will find it.
(27:57):
So, speaking of surroundingyourself with amazing people,
call, tell us how people canfind you, how they can work with
you and how they can reach outif they're looking to you.
Know, increase their happinessand confidence.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Yeah, you can follow me on instagram.
My name it or my handle, is colEvans.
It's just my name, all one word.
You can follow and listen my tomy podcast, which is becoming
unstoppable, with col Evans andthe instagram handle for that is
unstoppable dot podcast.
It's on all platforms but appleand spot, if I are the two
(28:33):
easiest ones to find them.
And as far as if you'd like towork with me or ask any
questions or you know, just do afree consultation and a
discovery call and see if it'ssomething that would be a fit.
Send me a dm on instagram andit will set up a time to talk
and we'll do a 45 minutediscovery call and see how we
(28:53):
can help to build the happinessand the confidence that you want
to have the life you've alwayswanted.
Because it can do it, anyonecan yes, I love it so much.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Definitely reach out to call.
He's amazing.
We got to spend a whole weekendtogether with no phone, so I
know he's a great person tospend time and I love hearing it
from someone who has beenthrough the process himself, so
can definitely take your handand we do along the way.
That'll do it for today'sepisode of pep talks podcast.
Definitely check out callspodcast and we'll see you here
(29:25):
next time.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Thanks so much for having me on by.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Thank you for coming.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Thanks for joining the show today on another
episode of becoming unstoppablewith coal Evans.
If you guys enjoyed the show,please share it with the friend
or post on social media.
Be sure to tag the show oninstagram at unstoppable dot
podcast or tag me at coal Evans.
(29:52):
That's C O L E E V A N S.
Please follow and rate the showon whatever platform you use.
It helps the algorithms tofeature our show to new
listeners.
Just like you, my goal inhosting this podcast is to make
an impact on people's lives andhelp people to find the peace
(30:16):
and happiness through selfcompassion.
Just like I have, of course,become unstoppable.
I hope you guys have a greatday.
I can't wait to hang out withyou on our next episode.
Until then, this is coal Evanssigning off.
Stay fabulous, y'all.
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