July 11, 2024 • 33 mins
S02#11 What if battling excruciating pain far from home could spark a story of incredible resilience and hope? Meet Adithi Udupa, a postdoctoral researcher from India now in Sweden, who faced the daunting challenge of a herniated disc while pursuing groundbreaking work in quantum computing. From emergency room visits to maintaining a positive outlook, Adithi's journey embodies the spirit of determination and perseverance.
In our conversation, Adithi openly shares the hurdles she faced in both her personal and professional life. As one of the few women in the male-dominated field of quantum computing, she reveals the significance of representation and the barriers she overcame from her academic days in Bangalore to her current research endeavors. Our discussion also takes a heartfelt turn as Aditi recounts her experiences with various treatments for her back issues, including physiotherapy and Ayurveda, along with the significant challenges posed by symptoms like foot drop and severe leg weakness.
Adithi's story of recovery is a testament to the power of community and resilience. She opens up about the emotional complexities of accepting help, the importance of strength training, and the role of consistent self-care in her journey. Her positive mental attitude, buoyed by encouraging recovery stories from our podcast, serves as a beacon of hope for anyone navigating similar health struggles. Tune in for an episode filled with personal inspiration, professional passion, and an unyielding message of hope.
Was this episode helpful to you? If you would like to support my work on the show, you can buy me a coffee at https://buymeacoffee.com/bedbackandbeyond
Have a positive story of recovery to tell? Head over to https://bedbackbeyond.com/share-your-story/ to apply.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm freaking out.
Is this my disc again?
Like what is happening?
And then she did a few tests.
She's like no, no, I think it'sjust some muscle cramp.
It should be okay.
But this time I think there waslike a gradual onset.
Like the next few weeks thingsjust became like increased a lot
.
Like the right leg again theywere shooting pain and it was
pretty bad.
The muscles were extremelycramped and it just went on
(00:22):
increasing.
And I think one night probably,like after dinner, I just knew
that something is really off.
About like 10pm, like my wholeleg the pain was excruciating,
Like I could not stand or sit or, you know, sleep or even like
any movement.
Anything was just super bad.
Like it felt like the whole leghad completely cramped up and
(00:42):
there was also like a lot ofshooting pain and then like okay
, I cannot survive this, wereally need to go to the ER.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Welcome to Bed Back and Beyond, sharing positive
stories of recovery from seriousback or neck injury.
Your host is CK, a fellowchampion who draws on her own
experience with herniated discsurgery.
Join her as she talks withothers who have overcome the
physical and emotional trauma ofa painful injury and discover
(01:11):
for yourself how you can findhope and encouragement in
recovery.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Before I introduce today's guest to you, I just
wanted to thank you forlistening to my podcast and, if
you happen to be someone who'sinjured, I just want you to know
that I am thinking of you and Ireally hope that this podcast
has been an encouragement to you, and I just want to remind you
to focus on the small victoriesthat you make each day.
(01:39):
That'll help with the emotionalbattle that comes with a back or
neck injury.
On today's episode, I get tospeak with Adithi.
She is from India but is inSweden for her postdoctorate
studies, and while she's thereshe has been dealing with a
herniated disc away from homeand away from family, and yet
(02:02):
she has such a beautiful smileand just a wonderful story.
So I'm super excited to get herstory out to you.
If you haven't yet, pleasesubscribe and help get the word
out to other people who may bein need of some encouragement.
Hi Aditi, thank you so much forjoining me on this episode of
(02:24):
Bed, back and Beyond.
Before we dive into your injuryhistory, how about you tell us
a little bit about yourself?
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Hello, very nice to talk to you today.
I'm Aditi, I currently live inSweden and I'm doing my
postdoctoral research in quantumcomputing.
Oh my goodness, it's been ayear since I have moved in here.
So before that I was in Indiadoing my PhD in another area of
physics and then I switched hereto continue my research.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
I think that's the first time I've ever heard the
term quantum computing.
Is it Obviously?
I know quantum theory.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Yeah, so we're going to try to use that theory to
make computers which are goingto be a lot more efficient than
what we have now.
And you know we could solvemany other big questions, oh
yeah.
How long have you been inSweden Last May, may 2023, was
when I moved here, so it's beenover a year now.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Where did you do your undergrad?
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Everything was from India.
So I was in Bangalore in India.
So all of my education till myPhD was in Bangalore.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Okay, wow, now I'm a little nervous.
I'm talking to a real smarty.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Oh, no, no, no, not at all.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
That's great and yay for women in quantum computing.
Yes, definitely.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Are there a?
Speaker 3 (03:43):
lot in your class.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
No.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Does that make you nervous or make you want to
stand out more?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I do want to stay in that more because the interest
in the field of course.
But yeah, it feels a bitalienating sometimes not to have
like somebody you can connectwith.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Yes, yes, yeah, but.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
I think it's improving.
The situation is improvingthese days, and there are more
girls getting into STEM fields,so that's nice.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
And so where were you living when you started to feel
hurt?
Speaker 1 (04:10):
So the first time I was, I had the first experience
of having, you know, anythingclose to discomfort in my back
area, was in around May 2021, Ithink, like during the second
wave of COVID.
So I was still back in Indiaand then I had, along with COVID
, I had these back symptoms backpain symptoms, lower back
especially and then, I think aweek or two after, the other
(04:35):
symptoms of the COVID just wentaway, whereas this kind of
stayed longer.
And then I did go to a coupleof doctors to just get it
checked out and they said I justprobably some vitamin
deficiency and prescribed mesome vitamins and things kind of
improved over over the next fewmonths.
But there were a few days whenit used to.
I used to have this like therewas some pain in the lower back
at the end of the day and so on,but I would put some heart back
(04:56):
and it would be gone.
But and then I continue all mylike running, cycling and things
like that and all of those werefine, so I thought there's
nothing much to worry about.
But I think it was in in Jan2022, when one day I kind of
lifted like a very heavy bucketfull of water and then the next
day morning I started to feel astrange sensation in my right
leg.
Again, I brushed it off,thinking, okay, the last two
(05:19):
months I have been working dayand night in front of my laptop
and that's probably why I justprobably need some stretching
and I walked a bit, I ran a bit,but over the next two to three
days one morning it got really,really bad and I couldn't like
straighten my right leg.
And that's kind of when I knewyou can tell the difference
between, like the muscle painand the nerve pain.
And this felt different.
(05:42):
And I also kind of knew thesymptoms a bit because my dad
had it too.
So, yeah, he had it for thefirst time when he was 27 and
before his marriage, but againlater in 2019 he had it again.
So that time was I kind of whenI saw it closely.
So I knew the symptoms a bitwell and I was like, okay, this
(06:03):
feels familiar and familiar.
And you know, I have the samething, like I can't straighten
my right leg and it's painingtill from, like the thighs to my
calf muscles.
And then I went to anorthopedic.
They immediately got an MRIdone.
It showed a bulging disc in L4,l5 and L5, s1.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Okay, so two spots, yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
And then they recommended just some physio.
And then I did start my physioexercises, but I think it was
like two, three weeks that I didnot see much improvement.
Like the pain was still there,but I would say I could still
carry on with my dailyactivities.
You know, I could still.
It was not extremely bad, so Icould, like still sit and do my
work a little bit and thingswere okay.
(06:44):
But then there was always thisconstant shooting at, sometimes
in my right leg, and then thatwas kind of the scenario.
And then my parents wanted meto kind of also try other
treatments.
So I got into this.
There's something calledAyurveda.
It's like an Indian way ofmedicines.
Basically it's like a holistic,a way of treatment where they
kind of, you know, also havesome massages and then a hot and
(07:06):
cold treatment and a bit ofdetoxification, and you know,
it's like a package of like 10to 12 days of a program.
So I kind of tried that, butand I have heard it has helped
people but unfortunately for meit I would say probably it made
things worse and I was, yeah, Iwas not very happy with the
whole.
(07:26):
Yeah.
Then I was like, okay, I'm justgoing to stick to physio and,
you know, just have somepatience and just work with it.
It took about four to fivemonths and things were way
better, like I could just getback to my work and most of the
things, and I barely felt thepain down my leg.
I couldn't, however, get backto, you know, running, cycling,
(07:47):
and I used to love dancing likeI danced a lot and that's
something I yeah, all thoseactivities I really did not get
back to, but I could stillmanage my day pain-free.
And then I did a lot of traveltoo after that, like national,
and everything was fine.
After that I'm like okay, youknow, it's gone, it's all fine.
And then I moved to Sweden lastMay and then, I think in the mid
(08:09):
, in mid-June, I started feeling, you know, some strange feeling
in my right leg again.
Oh, came back.
Yeah, then I was already seeinga physio here because I also
had some ankle tendonitis, soit's a whole other thing.
But yeah, I already had aphysio and I just asked her to
check.
I'm like I'm freaking out.
Is this my disc again, likewhat is happening?
And then she did a few tests.
(08:29):
She's like no, no, I think it'sjust some muscle cramp.
It should be okay.
But this time I think there waslike a gradual onset.
Like the next few weeks thingsjust became, like it increased a
lot.
Like the right leg again theywere shooting pain and I like it
was pretty bad.
The muscles were extremelycramped and it just went on
increasing.
And I think one night, probablylike after dinner, I just knew
(08:52):
that something is really off.
And then, thankfully, I hadlike a friend whom I knew from
before, which was great becauseI was like really new to the
country and you know, right,yeah, and I knew a friend from
India before.
So I just called and I was likeyou know, I think something is
feeling off, can I just come toyour place?
And then I think that night,about like 10 pm, like my whole
(09:15):
leg the pain was excruciating,like I could not stand or sit or
, you know, sleep or even likeany movement.
Anything was just super bad,like it felt like the whole leg
from had completely crammed upand there was also like a lot of
shooting pain.
And then like, okay, I cannotsurvive this, we really need to
go to the ER so you had to go tothe ER in Sweden.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Yes, yeah, is that nerve-wracking going in a
different country?
Speaker 1 (09:41):
It was.
It was it was pretty scary,like everything is already new,
and then, you know, I don't havemy parents around, like it was.
It was really, really scary.
But I think at that time I wasjust like okay, the pain is just
overtaking all of my you knowother emotions and I just need
someone to check what'shappening.
Um, I, I remember when theambulance uh came in with a
(10:07):
stretcher, like I couldn't evenshift from my sofa to the
stretcher, like even thatmovement was like super, super
painful.
So it was, yeah, it was prettybad.
So initially they did a fewblood tests and then like
eliminate possible other issues.
And then, I think, about a lotof hours later, the doctor
arrived and then he said itlooks like you have had a
relapse, because you have had itin the past, so it's most
(10:27):
likely that the same disc haskind of showed up symptoms again
.
And he said this time it surelylooks like a herniation,
because the symptoms look prettybad.
Yeah, yeah.
I did not do an MRI so I reallydon't know what exactly happened
.
I think here they don't reallydo an MRI unless you're going to
go to a surgery or like it'sextreme in some sense.
(10:48):
So he said we would not do anMRI.
But he checked for a few things, like knee stimulus and, like
you know, stimulus near my ankle, and he said, okay, it does not
look like you have any nervedamage, so we would not
recommend a surgery or even anMRI.
You should just probably go toa physiotherapist and have the
(11:11):
conservative way of treatment.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Did you have numbness or just pain?
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Oh, no numbness.
Like I, my whole backside ofthe thigh was completely numb
and then I think till date, myright half of my right foot is
still numb, like I cannot stillfeel it yeah, it's weird.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
That's the one symptom of mine that never went
away.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
So my leg is still numb, so when I'm shaving it
always feels a little weirdright.
So my physio told me I was abit concerned, even through the
recovery.
I was like, why is this notgoing?
And then she was like that'snot an indicator of recovery,
you don't have to worry about it.
For some people it just stayslike for years and it's okay.
It's going to remind you that,oh, I had this a few years back.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
So what kind of physical therapy moves did they
have you doing?
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I kind of found it hard to find a physiotherapist
in the first place because itwas summer and most of them were
not available here.
And you know, in Sweden summersare taken really, really
seriously.
So it was yeah, yeah most ofthem go on vacation.
All of health care is onvacation, and in the summer
exactly yeah, I think it'sbecause the winters are pretty
(12:21):
bad, so summers are the timewhen people, you know, really
want to have their life yeah,exactly, yeah.
So, um, it took me like Iactually took me like about
three months to get a goodphysiotherapist, but thankfully,
till then I had, like there was, this general physiotherapist
who would not, you know, beinvolved with you personally
much, but at least would giveyou like a first few things to
(12:43):
take care of and the first fewexercises to just make sure that
you know things progress welland it's not going, and they
also make sure that you'rerecovering in a way that you
don't need surgery.
So that's also something thatthey keep track of.
One of the other symptoms I hadwas this foot drop.
Did you also have it?
Yeah, yeah, that felt weird.
I was like, okay, I want toraise my feet, like it's just
(13:06):
not coming up.
Yeah, it's very.
Foot drop is very common.
And also I had I don't know ifthis is common because I've not
heard it much from people butthe skin of my calf muscles was
also very sensitive in the senseif I press it slightly it would
like really, really pain a lot.
So wearing socks or, yeah,wearing anything was super hard
because just sensory touch waspainful.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Yeah yeah, this was also something that was already
triggered, so exactly.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
So it's like over over sensitive.
Yeah, I remember even thephysiotherapist was like, oh,
this is a bit new, maybe Ishould discuss it with others
and you know, know, get back ifit's okay or if it's a red
signal.
But they said, okay, it happensonce in a while, so it's okay.
So I think most of theexercises involve like bridges
and cobras, right.
(13:56):
So it's ironic that my this time, when I was, I could do the
back bending like the cobramovement, but the first time I
had it that was triggering mypain.
So I think it's even thoughit's probably the same disc, I
don't know, it's just differentkinds of movements were
triggering this time.
So that's weird, yeah, but mostof them were just, yeah, just
(14:17):
moving around my legs a littlebit and very, very slow, like
very baby steps of exercises forthe first few months, and
because I also was not able towalk much like I, my right leg
was super weak, in the senselike when I was walking I felt
like the right leg is, you know,having to pass through sand or
something like it was very hardto just move forward with it.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
That.
I'm surprised that they thatsounds pretty severe.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I'm surprised I was so sure, when I was going to the
ER I was like, oh, they aregoing to recommend surgery
because this seems like reallybad.
And then, but I was also a bitthankful, because I was really
scared, like I don't have myparents and I'm like I cannot
take a decision like a surgeryall alone.
I know, yeah, I was like very,very scared.
So when he said we don'trecommend, I was like, oh, but
(15:05):
then I know the journey is goingto be longer and you know, yeah
, in the middle of studying tooyeah yeah, what was your mom
saying?
Speaker 3 (15:15):
she's telling you come home so she can take care
of you, or did they want to comeup?
Speaker 1 (15:19):
then we did have a thought of like going back, but
then sitting.
So I was not able to sit forlike a month or so, the first
month.
Like I could just sit for a fewminutes to eat somehow, and
then the pains would like reallyflare up.
So sitting was very, verydifficult.
So there was no way I could flyback to India.
And then my parents did, youknow, my parents got their
passports done and everything,and then my dad did come after
(15:42):
like two months of, you know,getting the visa.
Yeah, yes, but that was so.
That was very helpful.
I stayed with my friend tillthen, so I really received like
a lot of help from people.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
So on the pain scale like from one to 10,.
How bad was your pain Initially?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I would say 10.
And I have high tolerance forpain.
Like I have had many issuesover these years and I have
known to have high tolerance,but this one this time was just
yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
So that was I'm sorry .
So the second time, was thatthat May?
Is that what you said?
May of no July?
I think last July, july of 2023.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
2023.
Yes.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
Okay, so since July of 2023, you've been doing
physiotherapy.
Yes, well, it took you threemonths to get to the
physiotherapist right.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yeah, holy cow, I think it was around November
when I found a very goodphysiotherapist and that was, I
think she only was sent to meright now.
She really understands my body,movements and what I really
need and has like customized allthe exercises, so that that has
been very helpful and I thinkone of the things um, it was
(16:52):
like a big realization for me,like she pointed out, that it I
kind of have something calledhypermobility.
Um, so I'm on that spectrum andwhich which is I never really
knew, but I was always superflexible in doing, you know,
many things Like I used to do,practice a lot of yoga and I
could do, like most of the posesyou know very easily and I used
(17:15):
to flex it all the time.
But it turns out that it's notalways a very good for your body
.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
Right.
And so I guess that would meanthat your spine doesn't have all
the muscle support.
Exactly, exactly, yes, sohypermobility is that you're
more flexible than you reallyshould be Should be.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, yeah.
So all the all the soft tissuesare more elastic than they
should be, and it's alsosomething it's the collagen
itself which is kind of presentin the protein that is present
in these tissues.
That itself is structurallyslightly different by your genes
, so it's not something that youcan really do much about.
But one of the ways of kind ofmanaging pains from
(17:55):
hypermobility is to do strengthtraining and give more support
to the muscles around so thatthey hold everything in place
better.
Okay, so what kind of?
Speaker 3 (18:05):
strength training are you doing?
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Yeah, right now again .
So the other thing abouthypermobility is you have to go
really slow, although you need alot of strength training,
because if you plunge into ityou can get injured very, very
easily.
So right now I'm just likeusing resistance bands and very,
very, very like small weights Ishould say.
So most of them are like, again, you know, trunk rotations with
(18:30):
resistance band and like squatswith resistance bands, and then
you know crab walks tostrengthen all the muscles in
your so mostly it is targeted tostrengthening the muscles
around the abdomen and the hips.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Okay, yeah, yeah, the hips are important and the hips
.
Okay, so yeah, yeah, the hipsare important.
Yes, everybody thinks that youneed to focus on the abdomen for
a spine, but you need to alsoinclude your hips and your
glutes.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Yes, yes, and because mine, mine is more like a
theory of work.
So I'm, like you know, underwith my laptop all the time for
all these years, so so loads arelike really something that have
been sleeping.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
So I had to like wake them up.
How's your pain level now?
I?
Speaker 1 (19:11):
would say the right leg.
I barely feel pain, the youknow the nerve like pain anymore
at all, but I still like thereare some things which trigger in
the sense of I can't do acomplete squat like I cannot.
I'm not in my full range ofmotion yet, but I would say the
pain level in just the right legis probably one on some days.
Otherwise, unless I go dothings that I have kind of lost
(19:36):
touch with, I don't reallynotice it.
Like I can sit and work for awhile.
I just, you know, make surethat I get up occasionally and
then have a bit of stretchingand don't sit for long hours and
all that.
But otherwise, yeah, thingshave been, I've been able to get
back to work.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Did you have to put a pause on your PhD work, or were
?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
you able to continue.
No, I last July, yeah, I had totake a month of sick leave and
then I kind of also had a fewtricks to.
You know, there's this deskwhich you can lie down and work
with.
(20:18):
Yes, I do a lot of such things.
And then I worked from home forlike about three months and it
was great that my supervisor wasvery, very cooperative.
Yeah, she was like you take allyour time and then, you know,
you get back when you feelbetter.
So I took it like really,really slow getting back to work
and then, even when I startedgoing back, I think I would do
two hours a day there in theoffice and then come back and
then, you know, do a bit of myexercises and then work from
home and I slowly went back toit.
(20:39):
But now it's fine.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
So from yeah, so July , and now it's I mean it's
almost July again.
Yeah, yeah, okay, and you soundlike you've improved a whole
lot.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Yeah, yeah, no, no really.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
I can't imagine going through this, though, like far
from home, far from my parents,in a different country.
I mean, how did you handle thisemotionally?
Speaker 1 (21:02):
I mean physically itself, it's already so
challenging.
But the emotional part, likethe mental challenge, was even
more bigger for me.
I moved to a new country withall of this you know, hopes and
dreams that I'm going to have anew life there, I'm going to
make like new social contactsand all of this and then end up,
you know, being locked in roomfor a long time.
So it was, yeah, it was very,very difficult.
(21:24):
If you kind of think of it, youknow, like our identity is
attached to our spine and wedon't really think unless
something happens, but a lot, of, a lot of things, the way we
represent ourselves, the way wejust move around.
You know when, once thatchanges, it's really hard.
It yeah, I think it was very,very frustrating and depressing
(21:44):
and yeah, and I think I wasalready like it had been a year
of not getting back to things Ilike and I was slowly hoping to
do all of those, like you know,hiking and especially dancing.
So I think that kind of youknow it was.
It was very depressing to thinkof not being able to go back
and it was a big mentalchallenge.
Yes, for sure.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
Well, just so you know, I'm back to dancing too.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Not dancing very good , wow, but no, no, no, that's
great.
As long as you can move around,I don't think it's great.
How long did it take for you,though, did it take?
How long did it take?
Speaker 3 (22:19):
for you, though, did you have a break?
It took like six months for meto feel better physically.
It took probably a year for meto feel better emotionally.
I was scared to move for a longtime after, and so I do a lot
of exercises at home.
On YouTube, there's this girlwho does a dance dance workout
(22:43):
and her name's Gina B, and Iremember the first time I was
doing her workout she had ustwisting.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
And I was like OK, I can't do that.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
And I actually did it and I started to cry.
Yeah, I can totally relate.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
I'm twisting, yes, yes, no, I think the fear is I'm
twisting, yes yes, no, I thinkthe fear is what is worse to
deal with, like it's so real.
And then also myphysiotherapist was kind of
telling me that you know, thereis this neurological connection,
like when you are out of touchof certain movements and then
you try to do them now, eventhough it's not the disc that is
(23:18):
triggering it, but your brainstill sends a signal of pain,
just like the panic signals.
And I think that connection toretrain your brain to say it's
okay, this movement is okay foryou.
You know you don't have to like, yeah, react so much to it.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
That's really the hard part, reusing muscles that
maybe got weak, they'll hurt andthen that'll slow down.
So, if you like, stop moving it.
Yeah, it can really screwthings up.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Yeah, I had a lot of lower back spasms through this
time, and that's also anotherreason because you're not
bending anymore, you're nottwisting anymore, and then you
try to do a little bit of it andthen the back just goes oops,
yeah, and then you have the fearthat you will have a spasm.
So you still avoid thosemoments.
So it's a really tricky balanceto you know, safely get into it
, but also be careful.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
I have a community on Reddit called micro discectomy
and just the other day someonesaid it's three months post
surgery and I'm having backspasms again.
What's going on?
And I just said well, if you'removing more than you were, it's
going to trigger muscle spasms.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Exactly, exactly, yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
How did you handle the emotional turmoil?
Did you do anything specific tohelp with that?
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Well, one of the things that I feel like I kind
of focused on was to just lookat the small things that are
improving.
You know like really celebratethe small things that are
improving.
You know like really celebratethe small wins, oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
You're ahead of the game.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
I remember I had, you know, I also had marked the
date on the calendar when Icould finally lift something off
the ground, something astrivial as that.
But it was like, oh my God, Ilifted the thing without having
to, you know, need any grab oranything.
But yeah, I think it's easy toget lost in the, you know, in
the spiraling thoughts of youknow why am I here and why this
happened to me, and all of this,but to just see that you know
(25:08):
you're going to recover andthere are these signs that show
that you're actually gettingbetter, like you compare
yourself all the day with theday you went to the ER and then
you're like, okay, I'm, you know, this much away from the day
and this much away from the day.
So I think that's somethingthat helped me.
But I should say honestly thatI still struggle with the thing
of you know, like if this hadnot happened, you know I would
(25:28):
have been doing yeah, but Ithink it's a long way till you,
you know, probably a year or sowhen you finally look back and
you're like, okay, maybe, maybeit happened for the good, like I
don't know, maybe you can tellI can 100% say yeah, yeah, I can
100% say wow, if the herniateddisc had never happened, then
(25:50):
this never would have happened,you know.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
So there is good that can come from it, and I wish I
could go back to my pre-injuryself and say, hey, just so you
know it's all gonna work.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
No, no, that's, that's nice to hear.
I also keep telling my physioall the time but why did this
happen to me?
Like I have been physicallyactive, like, okay, I'm not like
a very sports person, but I wasstill.
You know all of this.
And then she's like most ofthis is genetics.
So you should really stop, youknow, blaming yourself for why
things have happened.
And then, you know, there was avery nice analogy that she made
(26:27):
like if you kind of havediabetes in your hereditary,
then even if you have maintainedlike a perfect lifestyle and so
on, at some time, if it's goingto, you know, hit you and the
only thing you can do is to justsee how you can manage it, like
by, you know, controllingsugars and so on.
So, similarly, here, you justhave to, you know, stay with
your exercises and, you know, doyour strength training and
that's how you're just going tomanage it.
(26:48):
And there's the becausesometimes we can be hard on
ourselves.
As to, you know, uh, and Ithink the worst part is the
guilt that comes, comes along bytaking help from people which,
yeah, yeah, because I, I waskind of like this hyper
independent person and you knowmanaging everything, and this
one brought me face to face tolike learn how to deal with
(27:10):
accepting help.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
Yeah, it's terrible we can be our own worst enemies
sometimes.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
I'm like your friends and your family, like they want
to be there.
You know Exactly.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
Just let them be there.
I remember when a friend showedup in my house and she was like
I've come to clean your toilets.
I was like absolutely not,she's like.
I'm gonna clean them up.
Yes, yes yes, exactly, I'm soglad that you're doing so well,
and how much longer do you haveleft in your PhD program?
Speaker 1 (27:40):
No, no.
So this one is like after PhD,like the postdoctoral research.
So I'm here for another one anda half years, till next
December.
Okay, so my contract ends then.
Okay, do you have to defend athesis?
Not this time.
So you do it only the firsttime of your PhD.
So you've done that already.
I have done that already yeah,before going to sweden.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
Yeah, so I should have introduced you as dr adita.
No, that's okay, yeah that'sgreat.
Is there anything else that youwould like to add for our
listeners?
Speaker 1 (28:17):
yeah, I think one of the things to just, uh, I would
just like to say is just keep upyour hope.
Um, it's very hard, like,especially when you're in the
worst state, it's really reallyhard to do so, but, um, things
will fall back into place, likequite literally in this case,
but you know there is going tobe light at the end of the
tunnel and, uh, I would probablyan advice would be to, even if
(28:41):
you have you're, you know,recovering after surgery or
without surgery, I think youhave physiotherapy and the
exercises are really, reallyimportant for your body, even if
you're pain-free after thesurgery and so on.
But it's still, I think, reallyimportant to stick to that like
treat it like your religion,give time for it every day, like
at least some time, if on abusy day, but even if things
(29:03):
have seemed to be good.
But I think we should, uh, it'simportant for people who have
had this injury once to justmake sure that you know you
don't re-herniate or you justget more confidence with your
own body, sticking to yourphysiotherapy exercises and just
trusting your movements, but,you know, being more aware and
being more careful, but alsolike, yeah, progressing slowly
(29:25):
and you know, really, reallykeeping up with.
It is something I feel is verycrucial.
Did you have to also dophysiotherapy after your surgery
?
Speaker 3 (29:34):
I did so.
I did try physical therapybefore surgery and it didn't
help.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
And.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
I also tried a cortisone injection and that
didn't help.
Did you try one of those?
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Yeah, so I think after the first month when I was
not able to sit again, so I hadbeen given a lot of tablets
like the parasitimals and youknow, muscle relaxants and
naproxen, which really, really,I mean I got into a lot of
trouble with my gut issuesbecause of the nephrosy so it
was yeah yeah, it was uh reallybad.
So I went, I went to the doctorfor another opinion as to, uh,
(30:06):
you know, about the tablets andmedications and he was like, oh,
it's weird that you're stillnot able to sit.
Maybe you let's try with acortisone injection.
So I did take one and, um, Ithink for me it did help.
Like uh, I don't know if it wasa coincidence or what, but like
three to four days later I wasable to sit for a bit longer and
that's how I eventually gotback to working from home.
So maybe in my case it helped.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
Yeah, I think it.
Mine helped for about two weeksand then after the two weeks
the pain came back and thedoctor said we can do another
shot or you can do surgery.
And I was just like surgery.
I just I don't want to keeptrying something that might not
work, right right, right, yeah,yeah sure that would have been
really bad then, yeah.
Well, I can't wait until you'redancing again, thank you, thank
(30:52):
you so much.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Do you dance for fun or professionally.
Not professionally.
But then I kind of back when Iwas in India and during my PhD I
kind of gave a few performanceswith one of my friends, so she
was a professionally traineddancer and I used to learn from
her and then, yeah, but it wasalmost a part of my routine.
So I really really miss it now.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
Yeah, you'll get back to it.
You will definitely get back toit, aditi, it was so.
It was so much of a bigpleasure just having you on the
show today.
I love your personality and thefact that this hasn't stopped
you from smiling and laughing,and you've got the right mental
attitude to conquer this.
I really appreciate youreaching out to me and wanting
(31:35):
to share your story, beingwanting to share your story.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
No, I'm so glad you're doing this.
Like I think one of the otherthings also is to just look for
positive stories, which is how Ifound your podcast.
So I was.
You know, when you Google howlong is the timeline for the
recovery?
It's six to eight weeks and I'mlike, really, what is happening
to me?
then you know you need storiesfrom real people who have been
(31:58):
through this and I remember Iused to listen to your podcast
just while going to work andcoming back and it gave me so
much validation and you know,like, okay, there are so many
people out there who have beenthere and now who are completely
recovered.
So I think it's a super niceinitiative and I'm so thankful
that you know I found yourpodcast and you're doing a great
(32:19):
job.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Oh, thank you so much .
It's so nice to hear that's.
My hope is just to provide somehope for those of us that are
in pain.
You feel so alone in thatmoment and you feel stuck, but
you're not, you're not yes yes,well, thank you again, and if
you are somebody who isrecovering from a serious back
or neck injury and you wouldlike to share your story, head
(32:41):
over to my website,bedbackbeyondcom and click share
your story.
I'd love to include your voiceon the show.
Aditi, thank you once again.
Thank you.
I'm freaking out.
Is this my disc again?
Like what is happening?
And then she did a few tests.
She's like no, no, I think it'sjust some muscle cramp.
It should be okay.
But this time I think there waslike a gradual onset.
Like the next few weeks thingsjust became like increased a lot
.
Like the right leg again theywere shooting pain and it was
pretty bad.
The muscles were extremelycramped and it just went on
(00:22):
increasing.
And I think one night probably,like after dinner, I just knew
that something is really off.
About like 10pm, like my wholeleg the pain was excruciating,
Like I could not stand or sit or, you know, sleep or even like
any movement.
Anything was just super bad.
Like it felt like the whole leghad completely cramped up and
(00:42):
there was also like a lot ofshooting pain and then like okay
, I cannot survive this, wereally need to go to the ER.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Welcome to Bed Back and Beyond, sharing positive
stories of recovery from seriousback or neck injury.
Your host is CK, a fellowchampion who draws on her own
experience with herniated discsurgery.
Join her as she talks withothers who have overcome the
physical and emotional trauma ofa painful injury and discover
(01:11):
for yourself how you can findhope and encouragement in
recovery.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Before I introduce today's guest to you, I just
wanted to thank you forlistening to my podcast and, if
you happen to be someone who'sinjured, I just want you to know
that I am thinking of you and Ireally hope that this podcast
has been an encouragement to you, and I just want to remind you
to focus on the small victoriesthat you make each day.
(01:39):
That'll help with the emotionalbattle that comes with a back or
neck injury.
On today's episode, I get tospeak with Adithi.
She is from India but is inSweden for her postdoctorate
studies, and while she's thereshe has been dealing with a
herniated disc away from homeand away from family, and yet
(02:02):
she has such a beautiful smileand just a wonderful story.
So I'm super excited to get herstory out to you.
If you haven't yet, pleasesubscribe and help get the word
out to other people who may bein need of some encouragement.
Hi Aditi, thank you so much forjoining me on this episode of
(02:24):
Bed, back and Beyond.
Before we dive into your injuryhistory, how about you tell us
a little bit about yourself?
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Hello, very nice to talk to you today.
I'm Aditi, I currently live inSweden and I'm doing my
postdoctoral research in quantumcomputing.
Oh my goodness, it's been ayear since I have moved in here.
So before that I was in Indiadoing my PhD in another area of
physics and then I switched hereto continue my research.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
I think that's the first time I've ever heard the
term quantum computing.
Is it Obviously?
I know quantum theory.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Yeah, so we're going to try to use that theory to
make computers which are goingto be a lot more efficient than
what we have now.
And you know we could solvemany other big questions, oh
yeah.
How long have you been inSweden Last May, may 2023, was
when I moved here, so it's beenover a year now.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Where did you do your undergrad?
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Everything was from India.
So I was in Bangalore in India.
So all of my education till myPhD was in Bangalore.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Okay, wow, now I'm a little nervous.
I'm talking to a real smarty.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Oh, no, no, no, not at all.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
That's great and yay for women in quantum computing.
Yes, definitely.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Are there a?
Speaker 3 (03:43):
lot in your class.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
No.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Does that make you nervous or make you want to
stand out more?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I do want to stay in that more because the interest
in the field of course.
But yeah, it feels a bitalienating sometimes not to have
like somebody you can connectwith.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Yes, yes, yeah, but.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
I think it's improving.
The situation is improvingthese days, and there are more
girls getting into STEM fields,so that's nice.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
And so where were you living when you started to feel
hurt?
Speaker 1 (04:10):
So the first time I was, I had the first experience
of having, you know, anythingclose to discomfort in my back
area, was in around May 2021, Ithink, like during the second
wave of COVID.
So I was still back in Indiaand then I had, along with COVID
, I had these back symptoms backpain symptoms, lower back
especially and then, I think aweek or two after, the other
(04:35):
symptoms of the COVID just wentaway, whereas this kind of
stayed longer.
And then I did go to a coupleof doctors to just get it
checked out and they said I justprobably some vitamin
deficiency and prescribed mesome vitamins and things kind of
improved over over the next fewmonths.
But there were a few days whenit used to.
I used to have this like therewas some pain in the lower back
at the end of the day and so on,but I would put some heart back
(04:56):
and it would be gone.
But and then I continue all mylike running, cycling and things
like that and all of those werefine, so I thought there's
nothing much to worry about.
But I think it was in in Jan2022, when one day I kind of
lifted like a very heavy bucketfull of water and then the next
day morning I started to feel astrange sensation in my right
leg.
Again, I brushed it off,thinking, okay, the last two
(05:19):
months I have been working dayand night in front of my laptop
and that's probably why I justprobably need some stretching
and I walked a bit, I ran a bit,but over the next two to three
days one morning it got really,really bad and I couldn't like
straighten my right leg.
And that's kind of when I knewyou can tell the difference
between, like the muscle painand the nerve pain.
And this felt different.
(05:42):
And I also kind of knew thesymptoms a bit because my dad
had it too.
So, yeah, he had it for thefirst time when he was 27 and
before his marriage, but againlater in 2019 he had it again.
So that time was I kind of whenI saw it closely.
So I knew the symptoms a bitwell and I was like, okay, this
(06:03):
feels familiar and familiar.
And you know, I have the samething, like I can't straighten
my right leg and it's painingtill from, like the thighs to my
calf muscles.
And then I went to anorthopedic.
They immediately got an MRIdone.
It showed a bulging disc in L4,l5 and L5, s1.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Okay, so two spots, yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
And then they recommended just some physio.
And then I did start my physioexercises, but I think it was
like two, three weeks that I didnot see much improvement.
Like the pain was still there,but I would say I could still
carry on with my dailyactivities.
You know, I could still.
It was not extremely bad, so Icould, like still sit and do my
work a little bit and thingswere okay.
(06:44):
But then there was always thisconstant shooting at, sometimes
in my right leg, and then thatwas kind of the scenario.
And then my parents wanted meto kind of also try other
treatments.
So I got into this.
There's something calledAyurveda.
It's like an Indian way ofmedicines.
Basically it's like a holistic,a way of treatment where they
kind of, you know, also havesome massages and then a hot and
(07:06):
cold treatment and a bit ofdetoxification, and you know,
it's like a package of like 10to 12 days of a program.
So I kind of tried that, butand I have heard it has helped
people but unfortunately for meit I would say probably it made
things worse and I was, yeah, Iwas not very happy with the
whole.
(07:26):
Yeah.
Then I was like, okay, I'm justgoing to stick to physio and,
you know, just have somepatience and just work with it.
It took about four to fivemonths and things were way
better, like I could just getback to my work and most of the
things, and I barely felt thepain down my leg.
I couldn't, however, get backto, you know, running, cycling,
(07:47):
and I used to love dancing likeI danced a lot and that's
something I yeah, all thoseactivities I really did not get
back to, but I could stillmanage my day pain-free.
And then I did a lot of traveltoo after that, like national,
and everything was fine.
After that I'm like okay, youknow, it's gone, it's all fine.
And then I moved to Sweden lastMay and then, I think in the mid
(08:09):
, in mid-June, I started feeling, you know, some strange feeling
in my right leg again.
Oh, came back.
Yeah, then I was already seeinga physio here because I also
had some ankle tendonitis, soit's a whole other thing.
But yeah, I already had aphysio and I just asked her to
check.
I'm like I'm freaking out.
Is this my disc again, likewhat is happening?
And then she did a few tests.
(08:29):
She's like no, no, I think it'sjust some muscle cramp.
It should be okay.
But this time I think there waslike a gradual onset.
Like the next few weeks thingsjust became, like it increased a
lot.
Like the right leg again theywere shooting pain and I like it
was pretty bad.
The muscles were extremelycramped and it just went on
increasing.
And I think one night, probablylike after dinner, I just knew
(08:52):
that something is really off.
And then, thankfully, I hadlike a friend whom I knew from
before, which was great becauseI was like really new to the
country and you know, right,yeah, and I knew a friend from
India before.
So I just called and I was likeyou know, I think something is
feeling off, can I just come toyour place?
And then I think that night,about like 10 pm, like my whole
(09:15):
leg the pain was excruciating,like I could not stand or sit or
, you know, sleep or even likeany movement.
Anything was just super bad,like it felt like the whole leg
from had completely crammed upand there was also like a lot of
shooting pain.
And then like, okay, I cannotsurvive this, we really need to
go to the ER so you had to go tothe ER in Sweden.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Yes, yeah, is that nerve-wracking going in a
different country?
Speaker 1 (09:41):
It was.
It was it was pretty scary,like everything is already new,
and then, you know, I don't havemy parents around, like it was.
It was really, really scary.
But I think at that time I wasjust like okay, the pain is just
overtaking all of my you knowother emotions and I just need
someone to check what'shappening.
Um, I, I remember when theambulance uh came in with a
(10:07):
stretcher, like I couldn't evenshift from my sofa to the
stretcher, like even thatmovement was like super, super
painful.
So it was, yeah, it was prettybad.
So initially they did a fewblood tests and then like
eliminate possible other issues.
And then, I think, about a lotof hours later, the doctor
arrived and then he said itlooks like you have had a
relapse, because you have had itin the past, so it's most
(10:27):
likely that the same disc haskind of showed up symptoms again
.
And he said this time it surelylooks like a herniation,
because the symptoms look prettybad.
Yeah, yeah.
I did not do an MRI so I reallydon't know what exactly happened
.
I think here they don't reallydo an MRI unless you're going to
go to a surgery or like it'sextreme in some sense.
(10:48):
So he said we would not do anMRI.
But he checked for a few things, like knee stimulus and, like
you know, stimulus near my ankle, and he said, okay, it does not
look like you have any nervedamage, so we would not
recommend a surgery or even anMRI.
You should just probably go toa physiotherapist and have the
(11:11):
conservative way of treatment.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Did you have numbness or just pain?
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Oh, no numbness.
Like I, my whole backside ofthe thigh was completely numb
and then I think till date, myright half of my right foot is
still numb, like I cannot stillfeel it yeah, it's weird.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
That's the one symptom of mine that never went
away.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
So my leg is still numb, so when I'm shaving it
always feels a little weirdright.
So my physio told me I was abit concerned, even through the
recovery.
I was like, why is this notgoing?
And then she was like that'snot an indicator of recovery,
you don't have to worry about it.
For some people it just stayslike for years and it's okay.
It's going to remind you that,oh, I had this a few years back.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
So what kind of physical therapy moves did they
have you doing?
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I kind of found it hard to find a physiotherapist
in the first place because itwas summer and most of them were
not available here.
And you know, in Sweden summersare taken really, really
seriously.
So it was yeah, yeah most ofthem go on vacation.
All of health care is onvacation, and in the summer
exactly yeah, I think it'sbecause the winters are pretty
(12:21):
bad, so summers are the timewhen people, you know, really
want to have their life yeah,exactly, yeah.
So, um, it took me like Iactually took me like about
three months to get a goodphysiotherapist, but thankfully,
till then I had, like there was, this general physiotherapist
who would not, you know, beinvolved with you personally
much, but at least would giveyou like a first few things to
(12:43):
take care of and the first fewexercises to just make sure that
you know things progress welland it's not going, and they
also make sure that you'rerecovering in a way that you
don't need surgery.
So that's also something thatthey keep track of.
One of the other symptoms I hadwas this foot drop.
Did you also have it?
Yeah, yeah, that felt weird.
I was like, okay, I want toraise my feet, like it's just
(13:06):
not coming up.
Yeah, it's very.
Foot drop is very common.
And also I had I don't know ifthis is common because I've not
heard it much from people butthe skin of my calf muscles was
also very sensitive in the senseif I press it slightly it would
like really, really pain a lot.
So wearing socks or, yeah,wearing anything was super hard
because just sensory touch waspainful.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Yeah yeah, this was also something that was already
triggered, so exactly.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
So it's like over over sensitive.
Yeah, I remember even thephysiotherapist was like, oh,
this is a bit new, maybe Ishould discuss it with others
and you know, know, get back ifit's okay or if it's a red
signal.
But they said, okay, it happensonce in a while, so it's okay.
So I think most of theexercises involve like bridges
and cobras, right.
(13:56):
So it's ironic that my this time, when I was, I could do the
back bending like the cobramovement, but the first time I
had it that was triggering mypain.
So I think it's even thoughit's probably the same disc, I
don't know, it's just differentkinds of movements were
triggering this time.
So that's weird, yeah, but mostof them were just, yeah, just
(14:17):
moving around my legs a littlebit and very, very slow, like
very baby steps of exercises forthe first few months, and
because I also was not able towalk much like I, my right leg
was super weak, in the senselike when I was walking I felt
like the right leg is, you know,having to pass through sand or
something like it was very hardto just move forward with it.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
That.
I'm surprised that they thatsounds pretty severe.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I'm surprised I was so sure, when I was going to the
ER I was like, oh, they aregoing to recommend surgery
because this seems like reallybad.
And then, but I was also a bitthankful, because I was really
scared, like I don't have myparents and I'm like I cannot
take a decision like a surgeryall alone.
I know, yeah, I was like very,very scared.
So when he said we don'trecommend, I was like, oh, but
(15:05):
then I know the journey is goingto be longer and you know, yeah
, in the middle of studying tooyeah yeah, what was your mom
saying?
Speaker 3 (15:15):
she's telling you come home so she can take care
of you, or did they want to comeup?
Speaker 1 (15:19):
then we did have a thought of like going back, but
then sitting.
So I was not able to sit forlike a month or so, the first
month.
Like I could just sit for a fewminutes to eat somehow, and
then the pains would like reallyflare up.
So sitting was very, verydifficult.
So there was no way I could flyback to India.
And then my parents did, youknow, my parents got their
passports done and everything,and then my dad did come after
(15:42):
like two months of, you know,getting the visa.
Yeah, yes, but that was so.
That was very helpful.
I stayed with my friend tillthen, so I really received like
a lot of help from people.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
So on the pain scale like from one to 10,.
How bad was your pain Initially?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I would say 10.
And I have high tolerance forpain.
Like I have had many issuesover these years and I have
known to have high tolerance,but this one this time was just
yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
So that was I'm sorry .
So the second time, was thatthat May?
Is that what you said?
May of no July?
I think last July, july of 2023.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
2023.
Yes.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
Okay, so since July of 2023, you've been doing
physiotherapy.
Yes, well, it took you threemonths to get to the
physiotherapist right.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yeah, holy cow, I think it was around November
when I found a very goodphysiotherapist and that was, I
think she only was sent to meright now.
She really understands my body,movements and what I really
need and has like customized allthe exercises, so that that has
been very helpful and I thinkone of the things um, it was
(16:52):
like a big realization for me,like she pointed out, that it I
kind of have something calledhypermobility.
Um, so I'm on that spectrum andwhich which is I never really
knew, but I was always superflexible in doing, you know,
many things Like I used to do,practice a lot of yoga and I
could do, like most of the posesyou know very easily and I used
(17:15):
to flex it all the time.
But it turns out that it's notalways a very good for your body
.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
Right.
And so I guess that would meanthat your spine doesn't have all
the muscle support.
Exactly, exactly, yes, sohypermobility is that you're
more flexible than you reallyshould be Should be.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, yeah.
So all the all the soft tissuesare more elastic than they
should be, and it's alsosomething it's the collagen
itself which is kind of presentin the protein that is present
in these tissues.
That itself is structurallyslightly different by your genes
, so it's not something that youcan really do much about.
But one of the ways of kind ofmanaging pains from
(17:55):
hypermobility is to do strengthtraining and give more support
to the muscles around so thatthey hold everything in place
better.
Okay, so what kind of?
Speaker 3 (18:05):
strength training are you doing?
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Yeah, right now again .
So the other thing abouthypermobility is you have to go
really slow, although you need alot of strength training,
because if you plunge into ityou can get injured very, very
easily.
So right now I'm just likeusing resistance bands and very,
very, very like small weights Ishould say.
So most of them are like, again, you know, trunk rotations with
(18:30):
resistance band and like squatswith resistance bands, and then
you know crab walks tostrengthen all the muscles in
your so mostly it is targeted tostrengthening the muscles
around the abdomen and the hips.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Okay, yeah, yeah, the hips are important and the hips
.
Okay, so yeah, yeah, the hipsare important.
Yes, everybody thinks that youneed to focus on the abdomen for
a spine, but you need to alsoinclude your hips and your
glutes.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Yes, yes, and because mine, mine is more like a
theory of work.
So I'm, like you know, underwith my laptop all the time for
all these years, so so loads arelike really something that have
been sleeping.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
So I had to like wake them up.
How's your pain level now?
I?
Speaker 1 (19:11):
would say the right leg.
I barely feel pain, the youknow the nerve like pain anymore
at all, but I still like thereare some things which trigger in
the sense of I can't do acomplete squat like I cannot.
I'm not in my full range ofmotion yet, but I would say the
pain level in just the right legis probably one on some days.
Otherwise, unless I go dothings that I have kind of lost
(19:36):
touch with, I don't reallynotice it.
Like I can sit and work for awhile.
I just, you know, make surethat I get up occasionally and
then have a bit of stretchingand don't sit for long hours and
all that.
But otherwise, yeah, thingshave been, I've been able to get
back to work.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Did you have to put a pause on your PhD work, or were
?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
you able to continue.
No, I last July, yeah, I had totake a month of sick leave and
then I kind of also had a fewtricks to.
You know, there's this deskwhich you can lie down and work
with.
(20:18):
Yes, I do a lot of such things.
And then I worked from home forlike about three months and it
was great that my supervisor wasvery, very cooperative.
Yeah, she was like you take allyour time and then, you know,
you get back when you feelbetter.
So I took it like really,really slow getting back to work
and then, even when I startedgoing back, I think I would do
two hours a day there in theoffice and then come back and
then, you know, do a bit of myexercises and then work from
home and I slowly went back toit.
(20:39):
But now it's fine.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
So from yeah, so July , and now it's I mean it's
almost July again.
Yeah, yeah, okay, and you soundlike you've improved a whole
lot.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Yeah, yeah, no, no really.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
I can't imagine going through this, though, like far
from home, far from my parents,in a different country.
I mean, how did you handle thisemotionally?
Speaker 1 (21:02):
I mean physically itself, it's already so
challenging.
But the emotional part, likethe mental challenge, was even
more bigger for me.
I moved to a new country withall of this you know, hopes and
dreams that I'm going to have anew life there, I'm going to
make like new social contactsand all of this and then end up,
you know, being locked in roomfor a long time.
So it was, yeah, it was very,very difficult.
(21:24):
If you kind of think of it, youknow, like our identity is
attached to our spine and wedon't really think unless
something happens, but a lot, of, a lot of things, the way we
represent ourselves, the way wejust move around.
You know when, once thatchanges, it's really hard.
It yeah, I think it was very,very frustrating and depressing
(21:44):
and yeah, and I think I wasalready like it had been a year
of not getting back to things Ilike and I was slowly hoping to
do all of those, like you know,hiking and especially dancing.
So I think that kind of youknow it was.
It was very depressing to thinkof not being able to go back
and it was a big mentalchallenge.
Yes, for sure.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
Well, just so you know, I'm back to dancing too.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Not dancing very good , wow, but no, no, no, that's
great.
As long as you can move around,I don't think it's great.
How long did it take for you,though, did it take?
How long did it take?
Speaker 3 (22:19):
for you, though, did you have a break?
It took like six months for meto feel better physically.
It took probably a year for meto feel better emotionally.
I was scared to move for a longtime after, and so I do a lot
of exercises at home.
On YouTube, there's this girlwho does a dance dance workout
(22:43):
and her name's Gina B, and Iremember the first time I was
doing her workout she had ustwisting.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
And I was like OK, I can't do that.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
And I actually did it and I started to cry.
Yeah, I can totally relate.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
I'm twisting, yes, yes, no, I think the fear is I'm
twisting, yes yes, no, I thinkthe fear is what is worse to
deal with, like it's so real.
And then also myphysiotherapist was kind of
telling me that you know, thereis this neurological connection,
like when you are out of touchof certain movements and then
you try to do them now, eventhough it's not the disc that is
(23:18):
triggering it, but your brainstill sends a signal of pain,
just like the panic signals.
And I think that connection toretrain your brain to say it's
okay, this movement is okay foryou.
You know you don't have to like, yeah, react so much to it.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
That's really the hard part, reusing muscles that
maybe got weak, they'll hurt andthen that'll slow down.
So, if you like, stop moving it.
Yeah, it can really screwthings up.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Yeah, I had a lot of lower back spasms through this
time, and that's also anotherreason because you're not
bending anymore, you're nottwisting anymore, and then you
try to do a little bit of it andthen the back just goes oops,
yeah, and then you have the fearthat you will have a spasm.
So you still avoid thosemoments.
So it's a really tricky balanceto you know, safely get into it
, but also be careful.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
I have a community on Reddit called micro discectomy
and just the other day someonesaid it's three months post
surgery and I'm having backspasms again.
What's going on?
And I just said well, if you'removing more than you were, it's
going to trigger muscle spasms.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Exactly, exactly, yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
How did you handle the emotional turmoil?
Did you do anything specific tohelp with that?
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Well, one of the things that I feel like I kind
of focused on was to just lookat the small things that are
improving.
You know like really celebratethe small things that are
improving.
You know like really celebratethe small wins, oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
You're ahead of the game.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
I remember I had, you know, I also had marked the
date on the calendar when Icould finally lift something off
the ground, something astrivial as that.
But it was like, oh my God, Ilifted the thing without having
to, you know, need any grab oranything.
But yeah, I think it's easy toget lost in the, you know, in
the spiraling thoughts of youknow why am I here and why this
happened to me, and all of this,but to just see that you know
(25:08):
you're going to recover andthere are these signs that show
that you're actually gettingbetter, like you compare
yourself all the day with theday you went to the ER and then
you're like, okay, I'm, you know, this much away from the day
and this much away from the day.
So I think that's somethingthat helped me.
But I should say honestly thatI still struggle with the thing
of you know, like if this hadnot happened, you know I would
(25:28):
have been doing yeah, but Ithink it's a long way till you,
you know, probably a year or sowhen you finally look back and
you're like, okay, maybe, maybeit happened for the good, like I
don't know, maybe you can tellI can 100% say yeah, yeah, I can
100% say wow, if the herniateddisc had never happened, then
(25:50):
this never would have happened,you know.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
So there is good that can come from it, and I wish I
could go back to my pre-injuryself and say, hey, just so you
know it's all gonna work.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
No, no, that's, that's nice to hear.
I also keep telling my physioall the time but why did this
happen to me?
Like I have been physicallyactive, like, okay, I'm not like
a very sports person, but I wasstill.
You know all of this.
And then she's like most ofthis is genetics.
So you should really stop, youknow, blaming yourself for why
things have happened.
And then, you know, there was avery nice analogy that she made
(26:27):
like if you kind of havediabetes in your hereditary,
then even if you have maintainedlike a perfect lifestyle and so
on, at some time, if it's goingto, you know, hit you and the
only thing you can do is to justsee how you can manage it, like
by, you know, controllingsugars and so on.
So, similarly, here, you justhave to, you know, stay with
your exercises and, you know, doyour strength training and
that's how you're just going tomanage it.
(26:48):
And there's the becausesometimes we can be hard on
ourselves.
As to, you know, uh, and Ithink the worst part is the
guilt that comes, comes along bytaking help from people which,
yeah, yeah, because I, I waskind of like this hyper
independent person and you knowmanaging everything, and this
one brought me face to face tolike learn how to deal with
(27:10):
accepting help.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
Yeah, it's terrible we can be our own worst enemies
sometimes.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
I'm like your friends and your family, like they want
to be there.
You know Exactly.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
Just let them be there.
I remember when a friend showedup in my house and she was like
I've come to clean your toilets.
I was like absolutely not,she's like.
I'm gonna clean them up.
Yes, yes yes, exactly, I'm soglad that you're doing so well,
and how much longer do you haveleft in your PhD program?
Speaker 1 (27:40):
No, no.
So this one is like after PhD,like the postdoctoral research.
So I'm here for another one anda half years, till next
December.
Okay, so my contract ends then.
Okay, do you have to defend athesis?
Not this time.
So you do it only the firsttime of your PhD.
So you've done that already.
I have done that already yeah,before going to sweden.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
Yeah, so I should have introduced you as dr adita.
No, that's okay, yeah that'sgreat.
Is there anything else that youwould like to add for our
listeners?
Speaker 1 (28:17):
yeah, I think one of the things to just, uh, I would
just like to say is just keep upyour hope.
Um, it's very hard, like,especially when you're in the
worst state, it's really reallyhard to do so, but, um, things
will fall back into place, likequite literally in this case,
but you know there is going tobe light at the end of the
tunnel and, uh, I would probablyan advice would be to, even if
(28:41):
you have you're, you know,recovering after surgery or
without surgery, I think youhave physiotherapy and the
exercises are really, reallyimportant for your body, even if
you're pain-free after thesurgery and so on.
But it's still, I think, reallyimportant to stick to that like
treat it like your religion,give time for it every day, like
at least some time, if on abusy day, but even if things
(29:03):
have seemed to be good.
But I think we should, uh, it'simportant for people who have
had this injury once to justmake sure that you know you
don't re-herniate or you justget more confidence with your
own body, sticking to yourphysiotherapy exercises and just
trusting your movements, but,you know, being more aware and
being more careful, but alsolike, yeah, progressing slowly
(29:25):
and you know, really, reallykeeping up with.
It is something I feel is verycrucial.
Did you have to also dophysiotherapy after your surgery
?
Speaker 3 (29:34):
I did so.
I did try physical therapybefore surgery and it didn't
help.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
And.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
I also tried a cortisone injection and that
didn't help.
Did you try one of those?
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Yeah, so I think after the first month when I was
not able to sit again, so I hadbeen given a lot of tablets
like the parasitimals and youknow, muscle relaxants and
naproxen, which really, really,I mean I got into a lot of
trouble with my gut issuesbecause of the nephrosy so it
was yeah yeah, it was uh reallybad.
So I went, I went to the doctorfor another opinion as to, uh,
(30:06):
you know, about the tablets andmedications and he was like, oh,
it's weird that you're stillnot able to sit.
Maybe you let's try with acortisone injection.
So I did take one and, um, Ithink for me it did help.
Like uh, I don't know if it wasa coincidence or what, but like
three to four days later I wasable to sit for a bit longer and
that's how I eventually gotback to working from home.
So maybe in my case it helped.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
Yeah, I think it.
Mine helped for about two weeksand then after the two weeks
the pain came back and thedoctor said we can do another
shot or you can do surgery.
And I was just like surgery.
I just I don't want to keeptrying something that might not
work, right right, right, yeah,yeah sure that would have been
really bad then, yeah.
Well, I can't wait until you'redancing again, thank you, thank
(30:52):
you so much.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Do you dance for fun or professionally.
Not professionally.
But then I kind of back when Iwas in India and during my PhD I
kind of gave a few performanceswith one of my friends, so she
was a professionally traineddancer and I used to learn from
her and then, yeah, but it wasalmost a part of my routine.
So I really really miss it now.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
Yeah, you'll get back to it.
You will definitely get back toit, aditi, it was so.
It was so much of a bigpleasure just having you on the
show today.
I love your personality and thefact that this hasn't stopped
you from smiling and laughing,and you've got the right mental
attitude to conquer this.
I really appreciate youreaching out to me and wanting
(31:35):
to share your story, beingwanting to share your story.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
No, I'm so glad you're doing this.
Like I think one of the otherthings also is to just look for
positive stories, which is how Ifound your podcast.
So I was.
You know, when you Google howlong is the timeline for the
recovery?
It's six to eight weeks and I'mlike, really, what is happening
to me?
then you know you need storiesfrom real people who have been
(31:58):
through this and I remember Iused to listen to your podcast
just while going to work andcoming back and it gave me so
much validation and you know,like, okay, there are so many
people out there who have beenthere and now who are completely
recovered.
So I think it's a super niceinitiative and I'm so thankful
that you know I found yourpodcast and you're doing a great
(32:19):
job.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Oh, thank you so much .
It's so nice to hear that's.
My hope is just to provide somehope for those of us that are
in pain.
You feel so alone in thatmoment and you feel stuck, but
you're not, you're not yes yes,well, thank you again, and if
you are somebody who isrecovering from a serious back
or neck injury and you wouldlike to share your story, head
(32:41):
over to my website,bedbackbeyondcom and click share
your story.
I'd love to include your voiceon the show.
Aditi, thank you once again.
Thank you.
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