June 5, 2025 • 34 mins
What happens when the sibling you've been talking about on your podcast shows up to defend herself? She doubles down on her baddassery. Laura's sister Dee joins the show to set the record straight about being labeled a "Disney princess" and reveals the truth behind the infamous turtle hiking disaster that nearly ended in tragedy (or at least severe dehydration).
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to, before you Cut Bangs.
I'm Laura Quick and I'm ClaireFehrman.
I am a professional storytellerand I'm currently working on my
first book.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I have worked in mental health for many years in
lots of capacities and this is areally important time to tell
you our big disclaimer this isnot therapy.
We are not your therapists orcoaches or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yeah, I mean you shouldn't really trust us very
much at all.
Unless you want to and it turnsout well, then you can trust us
.
That's great.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
I listen to you guys on like one and a half times.
I don't know if you've everlistened to yourself.
It's hilarious.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Do we sound like Little Chip?
It's like Alvin Alvin.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
It's really cute.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
My brother listens to books and all the podcasts at
one and a half and I'm like howare you doing this?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I do 1.25 and it doesn't affect it that much.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I'm 1.3, girly, so I mean earlier.
You said you recognize our.
I do 1.25 and it doesn't affectit that much.
I'm 1.3,.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Girly, Okay, yeah yeah, so I mean, earlier you
said you recognize our voices,but it would sound totally
different, seemingly.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Well, I sometimes slow it down, like if it's a
really good story.
I'm like, oh wait, let me goback and listen to that.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Oh damn.
And when it's shit, then she'slike huh.
Fast forward, this bad boy.
She's like fast forward, thisbad boy.
Two more miles Got to getthrough it.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Okay, so the reason you're here is because you
binged.
And then what happened?
Speaker 3 (01:34):
And I was like these people talk crap about all the
people in their lives.
They really need to have thoseother people on the show.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
These people, these people, these people.
So, before you correct Laurawhich is one of something she
could get better at tell us whoyou are and why you're here.
Oh, I'm Dee.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I'm Laura's sister.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
And where did you come from?
Speaker 3 (01:55):
I live in Cleveland, Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Which is a dating desert for any of you single
people out there listening.
Don't move there.
She got the last one out of Namthis is probably true.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
We experienced this.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Where is Cleveland?
I've heard of Cleveland.
I'm trying to think where thatis.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
It's like 25 miles north of Chattanooga.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
Oh, yeah, okay.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
So I really I should just say I live in Chattanooga.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
So you drove all the way here to defend yourself Is
what we're getting to?
Basically Sure.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
I feel like all I do is talk good about her.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I actually do too right, Of course, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
She does, she talks so great about me.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
It's true, but it's almost like she's mad.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's mad about how great you
are, and it's too positive it is.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
That's the problem.
Yeah, she's like.
I'm here to talk about what abad bitch.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
I am.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
I'm not a Disney princess, like she says how dare
she call me a Disney princess,but we can't jump in.
We haven't done my favoritepart, which is the warm up which
we're going to do.
Siblings what's the worst thingyou've ever done to your
sibling or they've ever done toyou?
And I know Will Lockme will winthis.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Oh gosh, I don't know .
I've done some fucked up shitto some siblings.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Not you, though I don't think I have an answer for
those actually.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
You never did anything naughty.
No, don't say naughty.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
That feels weird.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
No, Reed and I are surprisingly friends Never
pranked each other.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
I'm trying to think I have things at border Like they
like live on, like possiblychild abuse, like the things
that come up for me.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Never told him he was adopted you know he's older, so
he would have told me, did heever do?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
anything to you oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Me and Tony fought so bad.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Oh, you have one Okay okay, yeah, I can't say it
though there I feel there's achild in the room I mean like
like somebody who's not.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Uh, okay, she's a teenager.
Yeah, I know that's the problem.
That's the problem when I saidchild, that's not me to have her
step out nope, nope, it's okay,because everyone will hear this
in some way, uh, and I've toldthis publicly- Okay yeah, let
loose buddy so whatever.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
when I was a teen, I was experimenting with you know
what teen boys do and God it'sso terrible, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Like drugs or masturbation, no, like yeah,
masturbation Okay.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
And you know, somewhere along the way I'd
heard that, which is so dumb,that like Vaseline, whatever,
and so I guess I forgot to putit up and that's that right.
That's the end of that.
Reed then later goes in andhe's taking a shower and
whatever, and then at dinner he,full on at the dinner table,
was like oh hey, who was usingthe Vaseline in the bathroom?
(04:44):
And of course my mom and dadknow that it wasn't them.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Oh, hey, who was using the Vaseline in the?
Speaker 4 (04:50):
bathroom and of course my mom and dad know that
it wasn't them, oh no, and I wasjust like dude, stop, stop,
stop.
And he's like, was it you?
Well, you had the Vaseline,what were?
Speaker 1 (04:56):
you doing with the Vaseline?
He's hazing you.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
On the fly made up a story about like oh, what If you
put it on your eyebrows righthere, like yeah, I just started
making something up.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Stop.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Oh yeah, I've forgotten about that.
That is a good one, but I feellike that's the only thing on my
list.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
That's like him hazing you though.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
That was so shit, I said either way.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Oh, either way.
Yeah, that's what happened.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
I can't top that.
But I will say, Tony and I andyou probably have more horror
stories about what me and Tonydid to each other than anything
else.
My younger brother, who was theoldest of our younger brothers,
was just honestly insufferable.
He's just always been thisreally angry guy.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
If you're listening, he's about to get in the car and
he's like calm down.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
He will come murder.
He's like a good you kind oflike it.
He's like the angry elf thatyou're like come to Christmas,
we need you here to mix thingsup, but we like chased each
other with knobs Like we werelike knobs.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Did y'all hear how that came out?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Knives never correct me.
Um, no, we like wanted tomurder each other.
We used to beat the hell out ofeach other.
We're a year apart and then,all of a sudden, when we get to
high school, we're like allies.
We're like, okay, time to be oneach other's team.
How many kids are there so many?
Five, five.
Well, and plus the two, myother siblings that are like
them.
No, but like I didn't, I didn'tlive with them.
So, like my sister, my mom wenton to have a daughter, and a
son and you know, and I lovethem.
(06:28):
I just didn't get to live withthem ever and how far apart are
you guys?
A year, one year.
We were best friends growing up.
Yeah, like inseparable.
I would cry every time sheleave.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
Yeah, well, that was what I was gonna say, like to
read.
I just was tagging along toomuch.
That's's not whatever.
But also, I mean we just havethe same friend group.
We still all of our friends arethe same friend group, and it's
just always that way.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Because you made it that way, by tagging on.
I mean, I guess he would inviteme.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
He would like take me places he loved you.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
You're replacing.
It's beautiful, just right.
All right, go on.
Well, you know, I thought Icaused my brother's drug
addiction because I was so cruelto him growing up and I made
amends to him once he was inrecovery and I was like, hey,
I'm sorry, I caused you tobecome an addict, and he was
(07:17):
like what are you talking about?
So like that felt pretty goodthat he didn't feel like I did.
I was like, ok, I'm trying toclear that up, but I was awful.
But I'll say something he didto me a little bit later.
So in college I was like he wasso wild and I was like want to
be wild.
(07:38):
And he convinced me to try acid.
And I was very scared and I'mlike, well, like, how do you
know it's gonna work?
He's like, well, you'reprobably gonna know, you know.
And so the night goes on it.
I knew it worked.
And in the middle of the nightlike God knows what time it was
this is obviously before he wasin recovery and he's like y'all
(07:58):
have got to listen to this newsong.
And so everyone gathers aroundand they're like all in on it
and I'm on mars.
And he like pretends to pressplay on this, probably like a
boom box, and they all startdancing but no music's coming
out.
So I'm like I don't hearanything.
I don't hear anything.
And they're like how do you nothear this?
(08:19):
And I'm like check my hearingand start losing it.
And if you have taken apsychedelic, that is not a fun
experience.
I think you've lost one of yoursenses.
And I was so upset I was likelisten, I feel like we should go
home and tell mom what we'vedone and he's like I think
you're going to go to bed.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
That was your go-to.
You always wanted to tell theparents.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Always, I still do.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
I Always, I still do, I'm like I should probably call
my mom.
All right, dee, your turn.
Well, I mean, I don't know thatI did anything bad to you guys,
but I did have a sibling that Ilived with.
I think that's the difference,like, when you don't live with
them, you just miss them so muchthat you're happy to be around
them.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Maybe, not Maybe, but go on.
What did you do to Fran?
What did Fran do to fran?
What did fran do to you?
Speaker 3 (09:05):
I mean, she was two years younger than me and she
was constantly like annoyed withme for some reason or another,
because you're pretty perfect.
So she would try to like hit meand I would just pin her down
on the ground and not not lether move until she stopped.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
She's always been a real strong bitch too, we knew.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
We knew it was in there.
All right, well, D vindicateyourself, Okay.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
Yeah, you just have to say terrible things about
yourself right.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
That's the only way to contradict.
I know I come up with all thebad things in the world.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
It's the only way to contradict what Laura has said
that's true.
Because, she just complainsabout like, yeah, you know,
you're more athletic and you runand you do all these so nice.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah, you're just too nice.
Disney's princess one time.
This is a real story, chloe.
Oh my god.
This is actually one of thegreatest stories about chloe of
all time we took a trip to thebeach.
It was right after she gotdivorced, so it was like a dark
time and or maybe you were kindof in the thick of it, I don't
remember.
So chloe was in like a terribletwo situation and she did a lot
(10:11):
of like, just like she wouldscream in your face, she would
just go off.
So we take this beach trip andchloe, legitimately, was in the
back seat and she was losing hermind and I was recording her
because I just felt so funny.
She was really so cute when shewas little, especially when she
was losing her mind, and I wasrecording her because I just
thought it was so funny.
She was really so cute when shewas little, especially when she
was crying and screaming, and Iwould be like look at her.
And then she was like stopfilming me.
(10:35):
And she was like my sister whois so calm.
She would always be like Chloe,are you making a good choice?
This is like she's in the frontseat, she starts asking if
she's making a good choice.
She's like Chloe, if you makegood choices, mommy will get you
if you'll earn, blah, blah,blah.
And I'll never forget, becauseme and some friends literally
will call each other still tothis day and be like I don't
(10:57):
want to earn, because Chloe juststarts screaming and she's like
I don't want to earn, I don.
And she's like I don't wannaearn, I don't want to earn.
And I was like, yes, let me gooff and I was recording the
whole time and I just rememberthat made it so much better
listen, her parenting skill evenher parenting is annoyingly
chill, like she would be likeare you making a good choice?
(11:20):
this is me.
Meanwhile, I'm like cleo, beatyour ass, get your ass in the
car right now.
And d would just be like whenchloe's ready to make a good
choice, we'll leave and I'm likechloe's just losing it.
I don't want to earn anyways.
That's a great moment of justas and same trip.
Same trip.
From the bedroom at like 7 am.
(11:42):
Do y''all know the Cinderellamoment where it's like sing
sweet night.
I'm not kidding.
From my bedroom on the sametrip, I hear this angelic voice
coming from the kitchen makinglike homemade pancakes.
And it's her.
This is what I'm fuckingtalking about.
(12:04):
I've had to live with this.
Dee, you better step in.
I know it's her.
This is what I'm fuckingtalking about.
I've had to live with this.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Dee, you better step in.
I know it's horrible.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
It's so hard, she really is so great.
It's so aspirational.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
So maybe they complain that she woke up with
singing.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
No, you're so beautiful.
It's like crying.
I was like Will Ferrell in StepBrothers.
It's like God, you're so good.
It's the most beautiful thingI've ever heard.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
So Bob said something about you Will.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
That I'm going to say about Laura.
I'm copying Bob.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
All right.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
She embellishes.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
I don't.
I've never been told thatPeople constantly talk about how
authentic my storytelling is.
Did.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
Bob say that about me ?
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Yes, he did, he definitely did.
You were so nervous youprobably blacked out.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
I really don't remember that.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
No, I mean, I guess I , the Disney princess, like
always, just hits me a bit wrongbecause it feels like I don't
know.
It feels like I need someone tosave me.
Yeah, and I actually likesaving myself.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
You've definitely never needed anybody to save you
.
I want to be clear.
Maybe Disney princess?
Speaker 2 (13:20):
You just have to hear her first.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Oh my God, that's right, we listen and you didn't.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
yeah, go on okay, repeat what you repeat what I'm
hearing.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
You say right now is that you don't need to be saved
because you're a bad bitch.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
Yeah, okay, go on what so are you like?
We have this in common rightthat is true.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
You present differently, but you do the same
thing wow, and that's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Okay, go on.
What else?
Speaker 3 (13:53):
what are some stories that came up that you were just
like, oh gosh I wanted to swimwith the turtles too, and I'm
very, very sad that that didn'tremind me about the turtle
swimming.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I'm sorry.
Let me first off.
We go to saint thomas.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
This is like the pandemic is so kind of a thing
it's right when they opened upsaint thomas, like I think
they'd only been open for like aweek or so yes, and so we fly
into saint thomas.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
We it's sketch as hell.
We got to fill out all thispaperwork and like everything's
still happening and it was kindof a joint birthday trip, right.
Okay, so we do this hybrid andwe try to take at least one
really great sister trip a yearand we get there.
It's awesome.
And we're going to st john'sisland for one day, which is
beautiful.
And there's this one thing thatI read about st john's.
(14:40):
I'm like gotta do this.
There's like a taco margarita,like hut on the side of the
mountain and there's a placewhere you go and lay on the
beach and you literally get tolike just chill with these giant
sea turtles.
So cool, can you touch them?
Yes, you can touch them.
That never happened, and here itdidn't happen for us okay, okay
and it was not my fault, okayfirst of all, her love language
(15:03):
is activity, doing somethingactive and and and I'll be.
I'm not, I'm trying to liveforever too right, I want to.
I'll be active with you, butI'm not necessarily athletic,
necessarily in the same realm asher.
Okay, I'm definitely not.
So, for instance, like if youwanted to say like do I have all
(15:24):
trails as an app, the answer isno, I didn't even know what all
trails was.
Great app, she has it.
She's a, she's one of the topusers on all trails, apparently.
And she's like listen, I foundthis little trail.
It's super chill, it's like aone star or whatever they rate
them as one star one was like aone, like on the how hard it is
(15:47):
an easy hike.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
This is what she said the pine cone system.
It gets one pine cone right onepine cone.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
And then she's like it's gonna be no problem and
like I'm looking at it here andwe just go here, here and here,
and then we'll end up right backhere, okay, and what part of I
lied about so far?
Go on.
So what happened?
Speaker 3 (16:06):
well, so the part that you haven't said yet is
that we got to the place withthe tacos and the margarita bar
and and the turtles.
Yes, like at 10, 10, 30 in themorning.
These people don't open tillnoon.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
There was literally nothing for us to do, those
fucking turtles were in thewater waiting for us, but go on.
There was nothing for us to do.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Swimming laying.
So I was like, while we'rewaiting, let's not just be lazy,
let's go do some activity,let's go for this hike.
And I had already looked it upbecause I was like okay, I don't
want us to get in over ourheads.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
And by that she meant she doesn't want me to get in
over my head.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Okay, but it is literally five miles to the
other end of the island.
I don't remember that number.
And five miles back.
Like it, you could run that inthree to four hours Five.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
First of all, 10 miles.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I know I will crush you now.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
But but now I wasn't planning on doing the whole
thing, I was just like well, andit's an out and back.
So, like, anytime you decide wewant to turn around, we can
turn around.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Okay, so she also about halfway through, when I
was sweating profusely and likefalling apart as a human and I
was like all I want is tacos.
I would, we could be with thoseturtles to get like.
I can't even imagine theinstagram photos I could be
getting right now and um, andshe's like I bet, I bet there's
(17:40):
tacos where we're going.
I was like I don't know what todo with her right now, and so
she keeps convincing me thatwhen we get there, there's
definitely going to be like ahut with tacos there.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
No, I knew there would be water.
That was my concern.
Like we kept going and I didoffer like twice.
Like we got to that road thatyou crossed over where all the
cars were parked and I was likemaybe we should turn back and
you were like no, I want to seewhere it goes.
And I was like okay, I don't.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
I'm going to be honest, it's kind of a blur for
me.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
I don't ever remember , I'll do the 10 miles.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
No no go ahead no, no , go ahead, absolutely.
What did happen?
We did five, we get, we'reabout three miles in, and it is
at this point is where it fallsapart, like I'm actually
thinking, okay, maybe we can dothis.
We get about three miles in andI'm like, oh god, she's not
gonna make it and I don't, Ican't carry her out of here, I
(18:39):
don't know what to do.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
First of all, it's making me.
I have started working outsince then Good, shut the hell
up, bitch, and I believe I couldmake it now with no problem.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
I think you could.
I think you could make it thereand back.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
All right, let's talk it out Three miles.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
You're worried, I'm worried.
I'm like I think she's drankall her water at this point 100,
I don't.
I don't know that we can makeit back three miles is she
complaining audibly, or you justsee, oh?
hell yes, all the complaining inthe world like they're these
two hikers that by this pointwe've passed them twice already.
(19:19):
We pass them again.
And Laura's like is there, isthere tacos and a margarita at
the end of this hike?
And this girl looks at us andshe's like I think you're
looking for something that isn'tthere.
I don't know if you guys needto be out here hiking like she
was.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
You remember how judgy she was she was such a
bitch I remember being like.
Well, that was a Debbie Downer.
I don't like her.
She would not be on our hikingteam, yeah, so so we decided
that we got to a beach.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Well, at that point I was like, okay, we're three
miles in, we can't turn back now.
We, she doesn't have water,we're not doing.
Well, the best outcome here iswe get to the other beach and
maybe we have cell phone serviceand I can call for a cab and
there should be water there.
Okay, like, if I can just gether to the other beach, I won't
(20:11):
have to carry her.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
So I'm like it sounds so much worse with her here.
Honestly, my version of thisstory was much better.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Go on, you know there might be tacos and a margarita
at the other beach, at the otherend of the island.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Let's just keep going so we make it five miles we get
to the beach.
There's this beautiful beach.
Okay, sure, first of all, therewere fucking zero tacos, no
margaritas, there's nothing.
There is just a what seems to bean honest looking couple a very
intimate, secluded beach yes,there are three groups of people
(20:49):
, that's true, and of course I'mdoing nothing but getting in
the water and trying not to die.
So I'm flailing around.
I'm like upset that we've been.
I'm like I have no idea.
I'm not, I don't know what'sgonna happen.
We have no self-service thatwas the other thing.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
So no self-service and no water no water I'm just
thinking in my mind what thehell am I gonna do to get us out
of this situation?
Speaker 1 (21:10):
and because she's very resourceful and honestly
has much better discernment withpeople than I do, because I
would have for sure picked aserial killer she makes.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Yeah, with this cute little old couple that brought
their lounge chairs and they'resitting on the beach drinking
brewskis like they're having agood time.
And and I just started chattingwith them and eventually asked
them if they would please takeus with them.
So we hitchhiked.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
So how did you have to wait for them to like finish
their day at the beach?
Or were they like, oh yeah, wecan just go now?
Speaker 3 (21:45):
They were like we were about to leave anyway.
Just let me finish my beer.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Did they take you to tacos, or did they take you to
no, we had to eat pizza wedevoured.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
Oh, devoured, had to yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
I mean a full, like I ate at least a half a pizza.
Yeah, it was great.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
This was not back to where we started, by the way,
though it was like the midwaypoint.
It was where the they had aresort on the island, but it
wasn't at the place where we hadtaken the.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
What did we take?
Speaker 3 (22:17):
We took a ferry.
We took a ferry over there, ohwow.
So we had taken a ferry overthere, and then we're at this
resort.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
that's probably still two or three miles away from
the ferry, but there we couldcall a cab, so we sat there and
ate pizza if you take thedetails out of the story, you
would think like oh my gosh,they were lost in the sahara
desert, or like into the wildlike they had to live in the
school bus.
When you say if you only hadlaura in the story, I'm just
(22:43):
saying if you didn't know if youdidn't hear the part about like
oh it's, you know only fivemiles, or oh it's five miles is
kind of a lot, so shut the fuckup we okay, if we had to walk
back, we probably could havesurvived.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Yes, but no you 100 could have survived.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I don't think it's a probable situation.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Okay, here's the worst part.
Here's the worst.
Well, I remember this vividly.
We get back to the hotel.
We had this cute hotel.
So we get back to the hotel andlike sunset's happening, it's
so beautiful and I'm like out onthe balcony, okay, and I can
see her out of the corner of myeye, inside Planking, doing
(23:25):
squats like jump squats.
No, it was yoga, do not play.
You were lunging across thatplace and I was like what are
you doing?
And she's like oh, I'm justgoing to close my rings.
I'm thinking like bitch.
I closed my rings 50 times.
We'd only hiked five miles veryslowly, okay, first of all, I
(23:46):
feel like that is yourperception of this.
It was very aggressive for meshe deserves this, laura okay,
that's true, I don't.
You are not a princess thatneeds to be saved.
She saved you she rallied.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
she had mental clarity to ask the elderly
couple for a ride While you'reflailing around.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Do you know?
I never told Shane that wehitchhiked.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Did you?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
not no, I mean, I did like years later.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
I finally told Don.
He was like I'm glad you'realive.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
We made it.
We made it Don, we made it.
Shane, it's fine.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
I just remember that one of the big complaints was
that she likes to close herrings.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
I do like to close my rings Every day.
You have to.
I switched to a Garmin watchnow so I don't have my rings to
close.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
But the Garmins are very rude.
They are rude.
What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (24:33):
They don't give you nearly the amount of calories or
workout times you stand uptwice and that Apple watch is
like wow, congratulations.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
You are killing it.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
And then after I run five miles, it was like medium
perceived effort and I'm like,wow, that was pretty good.
You know, I got a good time.
It's like not recovered Badsleep, it's just like.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
Really, it'll tell me I'm unproductive.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Yeah, very tough.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
Oh yeah, I like the positive reinforcement.
Yeah, me too.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
I want to be shamed.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
I'm like all right, well, let's wrap this up then
you know we have like thesespeed limit, like digital speed
limit signs.
It just says like slow down orwhatever.
I was on a motorcycle trip.
We're in Denver-ish somewherein Colorado at this point and if
you were going the correctspeed limit they would say
positive things to you.
I was like look at this.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
What a treat.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
I was like that would actually encourage me to go the
right speed to see what it'sgoing to say, as opposed to just
I don't care, it's a slowdownLike no you slow down.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Yeah, don't tell me what to do.
I know how fast I'm going.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Don't tell me what to do, just slow down.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
But if it said something nice to me when I was
going the correct speed limit,then I would really want to see
that that trip, I'm not kidding,I was like you know what.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
This feels shameful, honestly.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
But you don't do planks though.
Right, that was a joke, do youlike to?
I have planks, I hate planking.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Well, it's so good for your core, it is very good
for your core.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
I thought that was just a common.
Oh yeah, no, I'm sure it is the.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Garmin watch has a five-minute plank workout.
That's fabulous.
Maybe I'll tune into that.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Well, that's weird.
Are you all going to runtogether tomorrow?
I wish, Are you going with us?
No, I will cheer for you allfrom my bed.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
I think you could do it.
It's five miles.
You've got practice from thattrip.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
I'm more of a 5K girl of a 5k girl and that is also
her fault.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
All right d any last thoughts, stories, vindications
oh, I'm not a genius, we know.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
Wait a second, like you could be wait a second, I
heard, uh, you and our otherguest, dr austin, from a
different episode.
I heard you guys talking andyou're a professor at lee, she's
a phd in math, right?
Speaker 3 (26:41):
okay, so.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
I used to, when she was in school, like getting her
B.
I'd be like so what are youstudying?
Speaker 3 (26:48):
And she was always so sweet.
She always asked me what areyou doing?
What are you writing yourdissertation about?
What are you working?
Speaker 1 (26:55):
on and finally she was like, hey, we don't have to
do this.
I know you don't understandwhat I mean.
Literally, she would starttalking about, like I remember
one time, topology.
I feel like you were telling meshe's like well, right now
we're working on curing cancerwith the study of topology from,
if you take this distance andI'm happening, I was like, oh
(27:15):
cool, I, this week I had a lotof meetings, so many meetings,
so many.
You wouldn't believe how much Italked this week.
Speaker 4 (27:25):
So why math?
Because math, even if you'rereally good at math.
It seems like.
Is that an enjoyable thing?
I don't know.
Is that an enjoyable thing,like why you decided math and
his?
Speaker 3 (27:38):
voice lifts at the end Very doubtfully.
Yeah, it's actually reallyenjoyable to me.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
Like the teaching part.
I understand, but actually like.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
No, the math part is actually really intriguing and
fun, Actually, when I was in myundergrad degree for a whole.
So I went to Lee University asa student, which is a
Christ-centered institution, andI had been raised as a
Christian and just kind ofthought I don't know if this is
(28:14):
quite for me by the time I gotto college and it was actually
math that made me see that someof the doubts that I had about
God were less doubts and justthings that I probably didn't
quite understand.
So I I, when my students ask mewhy math, I tell them because
that's what God used to save me.
Why?
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Wait, why?
Why did Matt?
Can you expound?
Speaker 3 (28:33):
just a little.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
That doesn't math for Laura.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Yeah, that doesn't math for Laura.
Yeah, what does that mean?
Like, just like a couple ofsentences.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Oh sure, that mean like, just like in a couple
sentences.
Oh sure, so.
So like take for the trinity,for instance.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Um, that's pretty hard math equation that's like
three people in one got it it'sreally.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
It doesn't make sense , right it it does, it just
doesn't it doesn't it doesn'tmake sense.
It doesn't matter how peopleexplain it, it doesn't.
Uh, there's this book I read,um Flatland, which is written by
a mathematician, and it talksabout a land where all of the
creatures in the land aretwo-dimensional, so they're like
(29:10):
circles and squares and all ofthat, and they live on like a
sheet of paper.
And all of a sudden, a spherevisits this two-dimensional
realm and the way it describedthe way the sphere appeared to
the two-dimensional creatureswas just incredible.
At one point it appeared likejust a little dot and then at
(29:32):
another point it appeared like acurve in front of them.
And it just clicked in my mindwhile reading that book that if
God is a higher dimensionalbeing, if I take my hand and I
stick my hand on the table, thensomething in flatland would see
my fingers and I would appearlike I was five things, when I'm
(29:54):
really not.
It's just my hand and I havefive fingers.
So I don't know that God's somehigher dimensional being.
I don't know that that is theway you explain the Trinity, um,
because I think any analogyfalls apart at some point.
But it made my brain say, huh.
Well, maybe I just don'tunderstand this as well as I
(30:16):
need to.
That doesn't mean it isn'tplausible.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
D two things First, I do think you're a genius and
two, we read really differentbooks, you know, and I like that
flatland.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Everybody put that on your reading list, folks.
Speaker 4 (30:33):
It's a good little book, oh how about that old
goodwill hunting huh?
Speaker 3 (30:40):
that guy solving math equation.
Yeah, that's not my story.
I'm not a genius like that,though that's what I mean, like
I'm not goodwill hunting I.
I had to work real hard for it.
Um, so I have a phd, notbecause everything just came
easily and naturally to me, butbecause there was a lot of time
and effort and discipline putinto it well, d you know, we are
(31:04):
saying that because our, thethree of us, we don't think like
that and I think it's justjealousy because none of us are
math whizzes on this couch.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Or you and you didn't fucking tell us that either.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
No, I've told you this when I went to Auburn, I
was in engineering school andyou have to take an entry test
and I uh, I unfortunately testwell and I was put into like a
high level calculus class that Ishould not have been anywhere
near and the teacher did notspeak english.
So there were the two thingsthe english was like.
(31:37):
It may be his fifth languageand it was like I had.
Yeah, it's like I was out likewithin two or three weeks
Remedial.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
We were joking about being both being in remedial
algebra and Colin, like well,and I never made it out, I was
just like yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
I failed over and over again, so they were kind of
like just get her out of hereJust give her, whatever she
needs, I'm in the wrong classclass, but you guys are
incredible storytellers, oh weare thrilled with that part of
us.
I'm just letting you know whywe are like well, she's a
mathematician.
We just can't wrap our headsaround it.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
It's kind of like like yeah, that's what I mean
when I'm talking about you.
I talk about you from this,like I admire you so much
because we are so different andI have found so much peace, and
when I go to you and I'm seekingadvice, it's really easy
because I love the way you live,and so if I'm talking shit on
here also, know it's because Ilove them.
Speaker 4 (32:30):
So you haven't talked any shit.
It's all just good, you justsay it and you're mad about it
way.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
That's true, and I am a little mad, you know, because
some of it I am like what?
Because some of it I am likewhat the fuck?
Speaker 4 (32:44):
Are you serious, God?
Why not me bro?
Well, I complained to Dee offthe air about how I'm upset with
my brother's athletic ability.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Oh, but you're good at stuff I have to like Dee with
her math.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
I have to work at it really hard.
I mean we both have likeathletic stuff, but he just it's
very natural, he doesn't haveto like.
I took him to the gym once andhe couldn't move for like a week
.
He was like always tells astory like yeah, he was afraid
driving home because he couldn'tlike grab the steering wheel
and like showering.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
He had trouble showering for days because he
doesn't have to work out, he'sjust naturally, yeah, just like
the most athletic person I know,Like when you see somebody with
like a six pack and they'relike oh yeah, I don't really do
anything, I just like wake upand eat cupcakes.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
I had a coach one time say like hey, you know,
your brother could have beenlike a starting quarterback in
college.
I was like oh.
I had a feeling that may be thecase.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
He's like yeah, he just wanted to play guitar more,
but like he just quit thefootball team just because he
wanted to grow his hair out.
What an asshole, total jerk.
That's okay, will, we can dohard things.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Before you Cut Bangs is hosted by Laura Quick and
Claire Feerman and produced byWill Lockamy.
Follow along with us everywhere.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
Please subscribe to the podcast.
Find us on Instagram.
We're constantly doing polls.
We want to know what you think,and I know that you probably
know this, but reviewing us andgiving us five stars matters
more than anything, and we areso grateful to have you here,
thank you.
Welcome to, before you Cut Bangs.
I'm Laura Quick and I'm ClaireFehrman.
I am a professional storytellerand I'm currently working on my
first book.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I have worked in mental health for many years in
lots of capacities and this is areally important time to tell
you our big disclaimer this isnot therapy.
We are not your therapists orcoaches or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yeah, I mean you shouldn't really trust us very
much at all.
Unless you want to and it turnsout well, then you can trust us
.
That's great.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
I listen to you guys on like one and a half times.
I don't know if you've everlistened to yourself.
It's hilarious.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Do we sound like Little Chip?
It's like Alvin Alvin.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
It's really cute.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
My brother listens to books and all the podcasts at
one and a half and I'm like howare you doing this?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I do 1.25 and it doesn't affect it that much.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I'm 1.3, girly, so I mean earlier.
You said you recognize our.
I do 1.25 and it doesn't affectit that much.
I'm 1.3,.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Girly, Okay, yeah yeah, so I mean, earlier you
said you recognize our voices,but it would sound totally
different, seemingly.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Well, I sometimes slow it down, like if it's a
really good story.
I'm like, oh wait, let me goback and listen to that.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Oh damn.
And when it's shit, then she'slike huh.
Fast forward, this bad boy.
She's like fast forward, thisbad boy.
Two more miles Got to getthrough it.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Okay, so the reason you're here is because you
binged.
And then what happened?
Speaker 3 (01:34):
And I was like these people talk crap about all the
people in their lives.
They really need to have thoseother people on the show.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
These people, these people, these people.
So, before you correct Laurawhich is one of something she
could get better at tell us whoyou are and why you're here.
Oh, I'm Dee.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I'm Laura's sister.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
And where did you come from?
Speaker 3 (01:55):
I live in Cleveland, Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Which is a dating desert for any of you single
people out there listening.
Don't move there.
She got the last one out of Namthis is probably true.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
We experienced this.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Where is Cleveland?
I've heard of Cleveland.
I'm trying to think where thatis.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
It's like 25 miles north of Chattanooga.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
Oh, yeah, okay.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
So I really I should just say I live in Chattanooga.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
So you drove all the way here to defend yourself Is
what we're getting to?
Basically Sure.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
I feel like all I do is talk good about her.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I actually do too right, Of course, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
She does, she talks so great about me.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
It's true, but it's almost like she's mad.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's mad about how great you
are, and it's too positive it is.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
That's the problem.
Yeah, she's like.
I'm here to talk about what abad bitch.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
I am.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
I'm not a Disney princess, like she says how dare
she call me a Disney princess,but we can't jump in.
We haven't done my favoritepart, which is the warm up which
we're going to do.
Siblings what's the worst thingyou've ever done to your
sibling or they've ever done toyou?
And I know Will Lockme will winthis.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Oh gosh, I don't know .
I've done some fucked up shitto some siblings.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Not you, though I don't think I have an answer for
those actually.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
You never did anything naughty.
No, don't say naughty.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
That feels weird.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
No, Reed and I are surprisingly friends Never
pranked each other.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
I'm trying to think I have things at border Like they
like live on, like possiblychild abuse, like the things
that come up for me.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Never told him he was adopted you know he's older, so
he would have told me, did heever do?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
anything to you oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Me and Tony fought so bad.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Oh, you have one Okay okay, yeah, I can't say it
though there I feel there's achild in the room I mean like
like somebody who's not.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Uh, okay, she's a teenager.
Yeah, I know that's the problem.
That's the problem when I saidchild, that's not me to have her
step out nope, nope, it's okay,because everyone will hear this
in some way, uh, and I've toldthis publicly- Okay yeah, let
loose buddy so whatever.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
when I was a teen, I was experimenting with you know
what teen boys do and God it'sso terrible, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Like drugs or masturbation, no, like yeah,
masturbation Okay.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
And you know, somewhere along the way I'd
heard that, which is so dumb,that like Vaseline, whatever,
and so I guess I forgot to putit up and that's that right.
That's the end of that.
Reed then later goes in andhe's taking a shower and
whatever, and then at dinner he,full on at the dinner table,
was like oh hey, who was usingthe Vaseline in the bathroom?
(04:44):
And of course my mom and dadknow that it wasn't them.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Oh, hey, who was using the Vaseline in the?
Speaker 4 (04:50):
bathroom and of course my mom and dad know that
it wasn't them, oh no, and I wasjust like dude, stop, stop,
stop.
And he's like, was it you?
Well, you had the Vaseline,what were?
Speaker 1 (04:56):
you doing with the Vaseline?
He's hazing you.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
On the fly made up a story about like oh, what If you
put it on your eyebrows righthere, like yeah, I just started
making something up.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Stop.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Oh yeah, I've forgotten about that.
That is a good one, but I feellike that's the only thing on my
list.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
That's like him hazing you though.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
That was so shit, I said either way.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Oh, either way.
Yeah, that's what happened.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
I can't top that.
But I will say, Tony and I andyou probably have more horror
stories about what me and Tonydid to each other than anything
else.
My younger brother, who was theoldest of our younger brothers,
was just honestly insufferable.
He's just always been thisreally angry guy.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
If you're listening, he's about to get in the car and
he's like calm down.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
He will come murder.
He's like a good you kind oflike it.
He's like the angry elf thatyou're like come to Christmas,
we need you here to mix thingsup, but we like chased each
other with knobs Like we werelike knobs.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Did y'all hear how that came out?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Knives never correct me.
Um, no, we like wanted tomurder each other.
We used to beat the hell out ofeach other.
We're a year apart and then,all of a sudden, when we get to
high school, we're like allies.
We're like, okay, time to be oneach other's team.
How many kids are there so many?
Five, five.
Well, and plus the two, myother siblings that are like
them.
No, but like I didn't, I didn'tlive with them.
So, like my sister, my mom wenton to have a daughter, and a
son and you know, and I lovethem.
(06:28):
I just didn't get to live withthem ever and how far apart are
you guys?
A year, one year.
We were best friends growing up.
Yeah, like inseparable.
I would cry every time sheleave.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
Yeah, well, that was what I was gonna say, like to
read.
I just was tagging along toomuch.
That's's not whatever.
But also, I mean we just havethe same friend group.
We still all of our friends arethe same friend group, and it's
just always that way.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Because you made it that way, by tagging on.
I mean, I guess he would inviteme.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
He would like take me places he loved you.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
You're replacing.
It's beautiful, just right.
All right, go on.
Well, you know, I thought Icaused my brother's drug
addiction because I was so cruelto him growing up and I made
amends to him once he was inrecovery and I was like, hey,
I'm sorry, I caused you tobecome an addict, and he was
(07:17):
like what are you talking about?
So like that felt pretty goodthat he didn't feel like I did.
I was like, ok, I'm trying toclear that up, but I was awful.
But I'll say something he didto me a little bit later.
So in college I was like he wasso wild and I was like want to
be wild.
(07:38):
And he convinced me to try acid.
And I was very scared and I'mlike, well, like, how do you
know it's gonna work?
He's like, well, you'reprobably gonna know, you know.
And so the night goes on it.
I knew it worked.
And in the middle of the nightlike God knows what time it was
this is obviously before he wasin recovery and he's like y'all
(07:58):
have got to listen to this newsong.
And so everyone gathers aroundand they're like all in on it
and I'm on mars.
And he like pretends to pressplay on this, probably like a
boom box, and they all startdancing but no music's coming
out.
So I'm like I don't hearanything.
I don't hear anything.
And they're like how do you nothear this?
(08:19):
And I'm like check my hearingand start losing it.
And if you have taken apsychedelic, that is not a fun
experience.
I think you've lost one of yoursenses.
And I was so upset I was likelisten, I feel like we should go
home and tell mom what we'vedone and he's like I think
you're going to go to bed.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
That was your go-to.
You always wanted to tell theparents.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Always, I still do.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
I Always, I still do, I'm like I should probably call
my mom.
All right, dee, your turn.
Well, I mean, I don't know thatI did anything bad to you guys,
but I did have a sibling that Ilived with.
I think that's the difference,like, when you don't live with
them, you just miss them so muchthat you're happy to be around
them.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Maybe, not Maybe, but go on.
What did you do to Fran?
What did Fran do to fran?
What did fran do to you?
Speaker 3 (09:05):
I mean, she was two years younger than me and she
was constantly like annoyed withme for some reason or another,
because you're pretty perfect.
So she would try to like hit meand I would just pin her down
on the ground and not not lether move until she stopped.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
She's always been a real strong bitch too, we knew.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
We knew it was in there.
All right, well, D vindicateyourself, Okay.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
Yeah, you just have to say terrible things about
yourself right.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
That's the only way to contradict.
I know I come up with all thebad things in the world.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
It's the only way to contradict what Laura has said
that's true.
Because, she just complainsabout like, yeah, you know,
you're more athletic and you runand you do all these so nice.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah, you're just too nice.
Disney's princess one time.
This is a real story, chloe.
Oh my god.
This is actually one of thegreatest stories about chloe of
all time we took a trip to thebeach.
It was right after she gotdivorced, so it was like a dark
time and or maybe you were kindof in the thick of it, I don't
remember.
So chloe was in like a terribletwo situation and she did a lot
(10:11):
of like, just like she wouldscream in your face, she would
just go off.
So we take this beach trip andchloe, legitimately, was in the
back seat and she was losing hermind and I was recording her
because I just felt so funny.
She was really so cute when shewas little, especially when she
was losing her mind, and I wasrecording her because I just
thought it was so funny.
She was really so cute when shewas little, especially when she
was crying and screaming, and Iwould be like look at her.
And then she was like stopfilming me.
(10:35):
And she was like my sister whois so calm.
She would always be like Chloe,are you making a good choice?
This is like she's in the frontseat, she starts asking if
she's making a good choice.
She's like Chloe, if you makegood choices, mommy will get you
if you'll earn, blah, blah,blah.
And I'll never forget, becauseme and some friends literally
will call each other still tothis day and be like I don't
(10:57):
want to earn, because Chloe juststarts screaming and she's like
I don't want to earn, I don.
And she's like I don't wannaearn, I don't want to earn.
And I was like, yes, let me gooff and I was recording the
whole time and I just rememberthat made it so much better
listen, her parenting skill evenher parenting is annoyingly
chill, like she would be likeare you making a good choice?
(11:20):
this is me.
Meanwhile, I'm like cleo, beatyour ass, get your ass in the
car right now.
And d would just be like whenchloe's ready to make a good
choice, we'll leave and I'm likechloe's just losing it.
I don't want to earn anyways.
That's a great moment of justas and same trip.
Same trip.
From the bedroom at like 7 am.
(11:42):
Do y''all know the Cinderellamoment where it's like sing
sweet night.
I'm not kidding.
From my bedroom on the sametrip, I hear this angelic voice
coming from the kitchen makinglike homemade pancakes.
And it's her.
This is what I'm fuckingtalking about.
(12:04):
I've had to live with this.
Dee, you better step in.
I know it's her.
This is what I'm fuckingtalking about.
I've had to live with this.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Dee, you better step in.
I know it's horrible.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
It's so hard, she really is so great.
It's so aspirational.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
So maybe they complain that she woke up with
singing.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
No, you're so beautiful.
It's like crying.
I was like Will Ferrell in StepBrothers.
It's like God, you're so good.
It's the most beautiful thingI've ever heard.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
So Bob said something about you Will.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
That I'm going to say about Laura.
I'm copying Bob.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
All right.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
She embellishes.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
I don't.
I've never been told thatPeople constantly talk about how
authentic my storytelling is.
Did.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
Bob say that about me ?
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Yes, he did, he definitely did.
You were so nervous youprobably blacked out.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
I really don't remember that.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
No, I mean, I guess I , the Disney princess, like
always, just hits me a bit wrongbecause it feels like I don't
know.
It feels like I need someone tosave me.
Yeah, and I actually likesaving myself.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
You've definitely never needed anybody to save you
.
I want to be clear.
Maybe Disney princess?
Speaker 2 (13:20):
You just have to hear her first.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Oh my God, that's right, we listen and you didn't.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
yeah, go on okay, repeat what you repeat what I'm
hearing.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
You say right now is that you don't need to be saved
because you're a bad bitch.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
Yeah, okay, go on what so are you like?
We have this in common rightthat is true.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
You present differently, but you do the same
thing wow, and that's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Okay, go on.
What else?
Speaker 3 (13:53):
what are some stories that came up that you were just
like, oh gosh I wanted to swimwith the turtles too, and I'm
very, very sad that that didn'tremind me about the turtle
swimming.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I'm sorry.
Let me first off.
We go to saint thomas.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
This is like the pandemic is so kind of a thing
it's right when they opened upsaint thomas, like I think
they'd only been open for like aweek or so yes, and so we fly
into saint thomas.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
We it's sketch as hell.
We got to fill out all thispaperwork and like everything's
still happening and it was kindof a joint birthday trip, right.
Okay, so we do this hybrid andwe try to take at least one
really great sister trip a yearand we get there.
It's awesome.
And we're going to st john'sisland for one day, which is
beautiful.
And there's this one thing thatI read about st john's.
(14:40):
I'm like gotta do this.
There's like a taco margarita,like hut on the side of the
mountain and there's a placewhere you go and lay on the
beach and you literally get tolike just chill with these giant
sea turtles.
So cool, can you touch them?
Yes, you can touch them.
That never happened, and here itdidn't happen for us okay, okay
and it was not my fault, okayfirst of all, her love language
(15:03):
is activity, doing somethingactive and and and I'll be.
I'm not, I'm trying to liveforever too right, I want to.
I'll be active with you, butI'm not necessarily athletic,
necessarily in the same realm asher.
Okay, I'm definitely not.
So, for instance, like if youwanted to say like do I have all
(15:24):
trails as an app, the answer isno, I didn't even know what all
trails was.
Great app, she has it.
She's a, she's one of the topusers on all trails, apparently.
And she's like listen, I foundthis little trail.
It's super chill, it's like aone star or whatever they rate
them as one star one was like aone, like on the how hard it is
(15:47):
an easy hike.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
This is what she said the pine cone system.
It gets one pine cone right onepine cone.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
And then she's like it's gonna be no problem and
like I'm looking at it here andwe just go here, here and here,
and then we'll end up right backhere, okay, and what part of I
lied about so far?
Go on.
So what happened?
Speaker 3 (16:06):
well, so the part that you haven't said yet is
that we got to the place withthe tacos and the margarita bar
and and the turtles.
Yes, like at 10, 10, 30 in themorning.
These people don't open tillnoon.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
There was literally nothing for us to do, those
fucking turtles were in thewater waiting for us, but go on.
There was nothing for us to do.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Swimming laying.
So I was like, while we'rewaiting, let's not just be lazy,
let's go do some activity,let's go for this hike.
And I had already looked it upbecause I was like okay, I don't
want us to get in over ourheads.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
And by that she meant she doesn't want me to get in
over my head.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Okay, but it is literally five miles to the
other end of the island.
I don't remember that number.
And five miles back.
Like it, you could run that inthree to four hours Five.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
First of all, 10 miles.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I know I will crush you now.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
But but now I wasn't planning on doing the whole
thing, I was just like well, andit's an out and back.
So, like, anytime you decide wewant to turn around, we can
turn around.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Okay, so she also about halfway through, when I
was sweating profusely and likefalling apart as a human and I
was like all I want is tacos.
I would, we could be with thoseturtles to get like.
I can't even imagine theinstagram photos I could be
getting right now and um, andshe's like I bet, I bet there's
(17:40):
tacos where we're going.
I was like I don't know what todo with her right now, and so
she keeps convincing me thatwhen we get there, there's
definitely going to be like ahut with tacos there.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
No, I knew there would be water.
That was my concern.
Like we kept going and I didoffer like twice.
Like we got to that road thatyou crossed over where all the
cars were parked and I was likemaybe we should turn back and
you were like no, I want to seewhere it goes.
And I was like okay, I don't.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
I'm going to be honest, it's kind of a blur for
me.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
I don't ever remember , I'll do the 10 miles.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
No no go ahead no, no , go ahead, absolutely.
What did happen?
We did five, we get, we'reabout three miles in, and it is
at this point is where it fallsapart, like I'm actually
thinking, okay, maybe we can dothis.
We get about three miles in andI'm like, oh god, she's not
gonna make it and I don't, Ican't carry her out of here, I
(18:39):
don't know what to do.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
First of all, it's making me.
I have started working outsince then Good, shut the hell
up, bitch, and I believe I couldmake it now with no problem.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
I think you could.
I think you could make it thereand back.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
All right, let's talk it out Three miles.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
You're worried, I'm worried.
I'm like I think she's drankall her water at this point 100,
I don't.
I don't know that we can makeit back three miles is she
complaining audibly, or you justsee, oh?
hell yes, all the complaining inthe world like they're these
two hikers that by this pointwe've passed them twice already.
(19:19):
We pass them again.
And Laura's like is there, isthere tacos and a margarita at
the end of this hike?
And this girl looks at us andshe's like I think you're
looking for something that isn'tthere.
I don't know if you guys needto be out here hiking like she
was.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
You remember how judgy she was she was such a
bitch I remember being like.
Well, that was a Debbie Downer.
I don't like her.
She would not be on our hikingteam, yeah, so so we decided
that we got to a beach.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Well, at that point I was like, okay, we're three
miles in, we can't turn back now.
We, she doesn't have water,we're not doing.
Well, the best outcome here iswe get to the other beach and
maybe we have cell phone serviceand I can call for a cab and
there should be water there.
Okay, like, if I can just gether to the other beach, I won't
(20:11):
have to carry her.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
So I'm like it sounds so much worse with her here.
Honestly, my version of thisstory was much better.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Go on, you know there might be tacos and a margarita
at the other beach, at the otherend of the island.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Let's just keep going so we make it five miles we get
to the beach.
There's this beautiful beach.
Okay, sure, first of all, therewere fucking zero tacos, no
margaritas, there's nothing.
There is just a what seems to bean honest looking couple a very
intimate, secluded beach yes,there are three groups of people
(20:49):
, that's true, and of course I'mdoing nothing but getting in
the water and trying not to die.
So I'm flailing around.
I'm like upset that we've been.
I'm like I have no idea.
I'm not, I don't know what'sgonna happen.
We have no self-service thatwas the other thing.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
So no self-service and no water no water I'm just
thinking in my mind what thehell am I gonna do to get us out
of this situation?
Speaker 1 (21:10):
and because she's very resourceful and honestly
has much better discernment withpeople than I do, because I
would have for sure picked aserial killer she makes.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Yeah, with this cute little old couple that brought
their lounge chairs and they'resitting on the beach drinking
brewskis like they're having agood time.
And and I just started chattingwith them and eventually asked
them if they would please takeus with them.
So we hitchhiked.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
So how did you have to wait for them to like finish
their day at the beach?
Or were they like, oh yeah, wecan just go now?
Speaker 3 (21:45):
They were like we were about to leave anyway.
Just let me finish my beer.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Did they take you to tacos, or did they take you to
no, we had to eat pizza wedevoured.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
Oh, devoured, had to yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
I mean a full, like I ate at least a half a pizza.
Yeah, it was great.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
This was not back to where we started, by the way,
though it was like the midwaypoint.
It was where the they had aresort on the island, but it
wasn't at the place where we hadtaken the.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
What did we take?
Speaker 3 (22:17):
We took a ferry.
We took a ferry over there, ohwow.
So we had taken a ferry overthere, and then we're at this
resort.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
that's probably still two or three miles away from
the ferry, but there we couldcall a cab, so we sat there and
ate pizza if you take thedetails out of the story, you
would think like oh my gosh,they were lost in the sahara
desert, or like into the wildlike they had to live in the
school bus.
When you say if you only hadlaura in the story, I'm just
(22:43):
saying if you didn't know if youdidn't hear the part about like
oh it's, you know only fivemiles, or oh it's five miles is
kind of a lot, so shut the fuckup we okay, if we had to walk
back, we probably could havesurvived.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Yes, but no you 100 could have survived.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I don't think it's a probable situation.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Okay, here's the worst part.
Here's the worst.
Well, I remember this vividly.
We get back to the hotel.
We had this cute hotel.
So we get back to the hotel andlike sunset's happening, it's
so beautiful and I'm like out onthe balcony, okay, and I can
see her out of the corner of myeye, inside Planking, doing
(23:25):
squats like jump squats.
No, it was yoga, do not play.
You were lunging across thatplace and I was like what are
you doing?
And she's like oh, I'm justgoing to close my rings.
I'm thinking like bitch.
I closed my rings 50 times.
We'd only hiked five miles veryslowly, okay, first of all, I
(23:46):
feel like that is yourperception of this.
It was very aggressive for meshe deserves this, laura okay,
that's true, I don't.
You are not a princess thatneeds to be saved.
She saved you she rallied.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
she had mental clarity to ask the elderly
couple for a ride While you'reflailing around.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Do you know?
I never told Shane that wehitchhiked.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Did you?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
not no, I mean, I did like years later.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
I finally told Don.
He was like I'm glad you'realive.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
We made it.
We made it Don, we made it.
Shane, it's fine.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
I just remember that one of the big complaints was
that she likes to close herrings.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
I do like to close my rings Every day.
You have to.
I switched to a Garmin watchnow so I don't have my rings to
close.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
But the Garmins are very rude.
They are rude.
What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (24:33):
They don't give you nearly the amount of calories or
workout times you stand uptwice and that Apple watch is
like wow, congratulations.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
You are killing it.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
And then after I run five miles, it was like medium
perceived effort and I'm like,wow, that was pretty good.
You know, I got a good time.
It's like not recovered Badsleep, it's just like.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
Really, it'll tell me I'm unproductive.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Yeah, very tough.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
Oh yeah, I like the positive reinforcement.
Yeah, me too.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
I want to be shamed.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
I'm like all right, well, let's wrap this up then
you know we have like thesespeed limit, like digital speed
limit signs.
It just says like slow down orwhatever.
I was on a motorcycle trip.
We're in Denver-ish somewherein Colorado at this point and if
you were going the correctspeed limit they would say
positive things to you.
I was like look at this.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
What a treat.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
I was like that would actually encourage me to go the
right speed to see what it'sgoing to say, as opposed to just
I don't care, it's a slowdownLike no you slow down.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Yeah, don't tell me what to do.
I know how fast I'm going.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Don't tell me what to do, just slow down.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
But if it said something nice to me when I was
going the correct speed limit,then I would really want to see
that that trip, I'm not kidding,I was like you know what.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
This feels shameful, honestly.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
But you don't do planks though.
Right, that was a joke, do youlike to?
I have planks, I hate planking.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Well, it's so good for your core, it is very good
for your core.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
I thought that was just a common.
Oh yeah, no, I'm sure it is the.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Garmin watch has a five-minute plank workout.
That's fabulous.
Maybe I'll tune into that.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Well, that's weird.
Are you all going to runtogether tomorrow?
I wish, Are you going with us?
No, I will cheer for you allfrom my bed.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
I think you could do it.
It's five miles.
You've got practice from thattrip.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
I'm more of a 5K girl of a 5k girl and that is also
her fault.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
All right d any last thoughts, stories, vindications
oh, I'm not a genius, we know.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
Wait a second, like you could be wait a second, I
heard, uh, you and our otherguest, dr austin, from a
different episode.
I heard you guys talking andyou're a professor at lee, she's
a phd in math, right?
Speaker 3 (26:41):
okay, so.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
I used to, when she was in school, like getting her
B.
I'd be like so what are youstudying?
Speaker 3 (26:48):
And she was always so sweet.
She always asked me what areyou doing?
What are you writing yourdissertation about?
What are you working?
Speaker 1 (26:55):
on and finally she was like, hey, we don't have to
do this.
I know you don't understandwhat I mean.
Literally, she would starttalking about, like I remember
one time, topology.
I feel like you were telling meshe's like well, right now
we're working on curing cancerwith the study of topology from,
if you take this distance andI'm happening, I was like, oh
(27:15):
cool, I, this week I had a lotof meetings, so many meetings,
so many.
You wouldn't believe how much Italked this week.
Speaker 4 (27:25):
So why math?
Because math, even if you'rereally good at math.
It seems like.
Is that an enjoyable thing?
I don't know.
Is that an enjoyable thing,like why you decided math and
his?
Speaker 3 (27:38):
voice lifts at the end Very doubtfully.
Yeah, it's actually reallyenjoyable to me.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
Like the teaching part.
I understand, but actually like.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
No, the math part is actually really intriguing and
fun, Actually, when I was in myundergrad degree for a whole.
So I went to Lee University asa student, which is a
Christ-centered institution, andI had been raised as a
Christian and just kind ofthought I don't know if this is
(28:14):
quite for me by the time I gotto college and it was actually
math that made me see that someof the doubts that I had about
God were less doubts and justthings that I probably didn't
quite understand.
So I I, when my students ask mewhy math, I tell them because
that's what God used to save me.
Why?
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Wait, why?
Why did Matt?
Can you expound?
Speaker 3 (28:33):
just a little.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
That doesn't math for Laura.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Yeah, that doesn't math for Laura.
Yeah, what does that mean?
Like, just like a couple ofsentences.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Oh sure, that mean like, just like in a couple
sentences.
Oh sure, so.
So like take for the trinity,for instance.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Um, that's pretty hard math equation that's like
three people in one got it it'sreally.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
It doesn't make sense , right it it does, it just
doesn't it doesn't it doesn'tmake sense.
It doesn't matter how peopleexplain it, it doesn't.
Uh, there's this book I read,um Flatland, which is written by
a mathematician, and it talksabout a land where all of the
creatures in the land aretwo-dimensional, so they're like
(29:10):
circles and squares and all ofthat, and they live on like a
sheet of paper.
And all of a sudden, a spherevisits this two-dimensional
realm and the way it describedthe way the sphere appeared to
the two-dimensional creatureswas just incredible.
At one point it appeared likejust a little dot and then at
(29:32):
another point it appeared like acurve in front of them.
And it just clicked in my mindwhile reading that book that if
God is a higher dimensionalbeing, if I take my hand and I
stick my hand on the table, thensomething in flatland would see
my fingers and I would appearlike I was five things, when I'm
(29:54):
really not.
It's just my hand and I havefive fingers.
So I don't know that God's somehigher dimensional being.
I don't know that that is theway you explain the Trinity, um,
because I think any analogyfalls apart at some point.
But it made my brain say, huh.
Well, maybe I just don'tunderstand this as well as I
(30:16):
need to.
That doesn't mean it isn'tplausible.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
D two things First, I do think you're a genius and
two, we read really differentbooks, you know, and I like that
flatland.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Everybody put that on your reading list, folks.
Speaker 4 (30:33):
It's a good little book, oh how about that old
goodwill hunting huh?
Speaker 3 (30:40):
that guy solving math equation.
Yeah, that's not my story.
I'm not a genius like that,though that's what I mean, like
I'm not goodwill hunting I.
I had to work real hard for it.
Um, so I have a phd, notbecause everything just came
easily and naturally to me, butbecause there was a lot of time
and effort and discipline putinto it well, d you know, we are
(31:04):
saying that because our, thethree of us, we don't think like
that and I think it's justjealousy because none of us are
math whizzes on this couch.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Or you and you didn't fucking tell us that either.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
No, I've told you this when I went to Auburn, I
was in engineering school andyou have to take an entry test
and I uh, I unfortunately testwell and I was put into like a
high level calculus class that Ishould not have been anywhere
near and the teacher did notspeak english.
So there were the two thingsthe english was like.
(31:37):
It may be his fifth languageand it was like I had.
Yeah, it's like I was out likewithin two or three weeks
Remedial.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
We were joking about being both being in remedial
algebra and Colin, like well,and I never made it out, I was
just like yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
I failed over and over again, so they were kind of
like just get her out of hereJust give her, whatever she
needs, I'm in the wrong classclass, but you guys are
incredible storytellers, oh weare thrilled with that part of
us.
I'm just letting you know whywe are like well, she's a
mathematician.
We just can't wrap our headsaround it.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
It's kind of like like yeah, that's what I mean
when I'm talking about you.
I talk about you from this,like I admire you so much
because we are so different andI have found so much peace, and
when I go to you and I'm seekingadvice, it's really easy
because I love the way you live,and so if I'm talking shit on
here also, know it's because Ilove them.
Speaker 4 (32:30):
So you haven't talked any shit.
It's all just good, you justsay it and you're mad about it
way.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
That's true, and I am a little mad, you know, because
some of it I am like what?
Because some of it I am likewhat the fuck?
Speaker 4 (32:44):
Are you serious, God?
Why not me bro?
Well, I complained to Dee offthe air about how I'm upset with
my brother's athletic ability.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Oh, but you're good at stuff I have to like Dee with
her math.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
I have to work at it really hard.
I mean we both have likeathletic stuff, but he just it's
very natural, he doesn't haveto like.
I took him to the gym once andhe couldn't move for like a week
.
He was like always tells astory like yeah, he was afraid
driving home because he couldn'tlike grab the steering wheel
and like showering.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
He had trouble showering for days because he
doesn't have to work out, he'sjust naturally, yeah, just like
the most athletic person I know,Like when you see somebody with
like a six pack and they'relike oh yeah, I don't really do
anything, I just like wake upand eat cupcakes.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
I had a coach one time say like hey, you know,
your brother could have beenlike a starting quarterback in
college.
I was like oh.
I had a feeling that may be thecase.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
He's like yeah, he just wanted to play guitar more,
but like he just quit thefootball team just because he
wanted to grow his hair out.
What an asshole, total jerk.
That's okay, will, we can dohard things.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Before you Cut Bangs is hosted by Laura Quick and
Claire Feerman and produced byWill Lockamy.
Follow along with us everywhere.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
Please subscribe to the podcast.
Find us on Instagram.
We're constantly doing polls.
We want to know what you think,and I know that you probably
know this, but reviewing us andgiving us five stars matters
more than anything, and we areso grateful to have you here,
thank you.
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