December 20, 2024 • 25 mins
We are knocking on the doors of Christmas and trying to capture the magic, but not get sucked into the world of comparisons and feeling like we didn’t do enough for our family, friends, and especially our kids.
The holiday season ushers in lots of good stuff, like joy and memory making— but if we aren’t careful it can all feel like insurmountable pressure. We hope as you listen wherever you are on your journey- you’ll be reminded that the real magic of the holidays is spending time with your people. We hope you laugh with us this episode and are reminded— no one’s kids are going to therapy later in life over what Santa or the damn elf brought— so relax, make some hot chocolate, play some games and love your people.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to, before you Cut Bangs.
I'm Laura Quick and I'm ClaireFehrman.
I am a professional storytellerand I'm currently working on my
first book.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I have worked in mental health for many years in
lots of capacities and this is areally important time to tell
you our big disclaimer this isnot therapy.
We are not your therapists orcoaches or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yeah, I mean you shouldn't really trust us very
much at all.
Unless you want to and it turnsout well, then you can trust us
.
That's great.
The other day I get a messagefrom Claire, where I see on her
Instagram where she has let theelves out the elves are out.
(00:47):
Yeah, okay, and her elves aredoing ridiculous things and she
was like these people and theirelves riding in on sleighs and
floating into the oblivion withthese welcome signs and whatever
, and I thought I was like whatI'm so far removed from that.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Do you know what we're?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
talking about yeah, the shelf thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Right, I'm more of a snoop on a stoop kind of girl,
you know what I mean, butanyways, I just don't have kids
that are little like that, so Iwasn't even thinking about it.
Then I started seeing,literally on my Instagram Holy
moly, the level, the presentdelivery, the cards, the Advent
(01:29):
calendars, with a scavenger huntattached to it that takes you
to a day.
Every day, on Advent, you get agift.
What is happening?
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Yeah, who has time for all of this?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
So that's what we're talking about today what the
actual what's really going on,what the what?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
So intro question really quick what's the best
Christmas gift you ever received?
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Ooh, that's hard.
My grandma got me a guitar withher greenback stamps from the
Piggly Wiggly.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Okay, nice.
Do you know what a?
Speaker 1 (02:00):
greenback stamp is.
I don't.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (02:01):
remember Piggly Wiggly.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
I mean, I know Piggly Wiggly very well.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
So back in the day they would give you stamps, like
if you shopped there and youwould collect enough stamps and
then you could buy like China,or you could buy guitars.
Yeah, so we didn't get a pig.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
until after that we had Western.
They could have done it there,but it was a very popular thing.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
You'd get your stamps and then you'd get a prize.
It was like a rewards program.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
It was like Marlboro the.
Marlboro magazine.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
A camel Camel Camel box.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Yes, yes, camel box.
Forgot about those.
I got a car once on Christmas,wow Okay.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Okay, yeah, like you were a younger person.
Yeah, person Like yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
I wish it was last year.
I'd love to have had adifferent car now.
But my mother was a preschoolteacher, my dad worked for a
paper company and then, after hegot sober and we started
working and they started workingin the treatment industry, it
was like the first time we hadcars with leather seats and like
went on airplanes, like ourlives really changed and we had
(03:03):
these like golden yearChristmases.
I think it was like the firsttime that we got folding money,
you know, and folding money, nomore pocket change.
Two Volvo keys, one for me, onefor my brother.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
That's great.
As the parent, I always think,when I see those commercials
where they're giving one to thespouse, like the stress that
would be involved.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Can you imagine?
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Like, well, how did we pay for this?
Where's this money coming from?
Like that would be mine.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
No, we were.
That was like our first car and, to be fair, mine was a station
wagon.
I didn't like get a cool,sporty Volvo or an SUV.
I named her Susan the stationwagon and she was great.
That's great.
All right, she was great,that's great.
What about?
Speaker 3 (03:41):
you Drums.
Very surprised, I did not thinkat all, and they got me like
the coolest, like 1968 Roger setwhich is like the Ringo Starr
kind of it was incredible.
So then it changed my life Likethat, my whole life, literally.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
the trajectory of your life has changed.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
What my life is today is because of that Christmas
present.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Had you played drums before?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
No, with chopsticks on mop buckets.
That's what I would do, and Ihad learned I'd been playing for
a year on mop buckets, alongwith stuff.
God, that's wholesome.
It was crazy.
It was crazy, all right.
So these elves, these elves,your post, one of the posts that
I saw, and I think it may bethe only one I've seen that you
posted you were like I hatethese elves, but look what they
(04:30):
did.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
It made me think she really likes this because it was
very creative.
What you had done.
That made me laugh.
She was still laughing the nextday when we talked on the phone
.
Okay, so what I did?
Listeners, if you don't followme on instagram because I don't
let most people um, my kids hadthese like beautiful black and
white portraits.
So their elves came in with anexpo marker, dry erase marker,
and drew like mustaches andeyebrows and things on their
beautiful kid portraits and thenthey fell asleep with their
little Expo markers.
(04:51):
So this is my thing on elves.
I love nostalgic things.
I love tradition.
There are things about when mykids are little that I like,
ache for, that I'll never rockthem again or push a stroller
like.
There's things that I trulymiss.
I will not miss the fuckingelves.
(05:11):
I won't.
It's a lot of work I have toset and there's an alarm on my
phone for 9, 11, 9, 1, 1 pm thatsays move the elves.
I run out of creative ideas.
That's 24 days of creativityyeah and it just feels like a
lot so, but I do it because itbrings them joy and that's worth
(05:32):
it.
The the part that I got spicyabout and she did get spicy go
on.
People had balloon arches andbanners made to welcome their
elves no, no, so many.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
And I thought she was making that up.
And then I just started like Idon't do a lot of scrolling and
so I don't see a ton of stuff.
And then, after she said that,I started scrolling and I was
like holy shit, I mean my wholefeed was flooded with moms going
over the top.
I mean there was one elf ridinga balloon rocket a friend that
(06:10):
lives in Huntsville riding arocket into their living room
with all these gifts underneathfor the children.
And I was like how is this?
My thing is this, how is itsustainable?
And what's the expectation thatyou're setting for your
children and for yourself?
Like, how are you going tomeasure up against that?
It's just like how to feel,like a failure every freaking
(06:33):
day if you don't hit the majormark again, like I don't know.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
So we're talking about?
You said like people hadballoon arches and stuff.
Are your friends, or likeparents of your children's
friends or people in socialmedia?
Speaker 2 (06:44):
None of my direct, for like my tier ones didn't do
it.
But people that I'm friends onsocial media with their moms in
the neighborhood I mean my momfriends and I joke about it Like
we're like where'd you put theelf today?
And my best friend was like Iput it in the pet food container
because I couldn't think ofanything else and like it was
(07:05):
the best I could do.
And her kid loved it becausekids like pure simple things.
And she's like where's the elf?
Speaker 3 (07:11):
oh, my gosh.
I got in the dog food like hadto look for the elf.
Yeah, I, I really just uh, Ithought the elf thing was kind
of a funny, fun thing.
I did not do any of thenonsense.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
I don't think I hated it until I'm like.
My kids are coming home andthey're, like you know, Jane's
elf chartered Delta one to bringher in from the North pole.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Yeah, different kind of elf.
I would explain.
I would say, look, we have abluff park elf and here's what
our elf does.
Our elf just hides.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
We had a hiding elf, the conversation that I had with
Clay when he was like probablyseven or eight.
I'll never forget it.
So this is back when you wouldgive him like a catalog to like
pick what do you want, you knowlike make your wishlist or
whatever.
And he went through and when hegave me that catalog back and
there was a go-kart, amotorcycle, a drum set, an iPad,
(07:56):
like all these things were, andI was like, okay, and Clay, if
Clay were here in his defense hewould say this is a pretty
damaging moment for him in hischildhood.
But I was like I need you tounderstand this is what I said
the first year when he was outof control.
I was like I have to send moneyto Santa.
Okay, so everybody getsdifferent stuff because
(08:19):
everybody's budget that they cansend to Santa.
Santa has to make all thesegifts and then he has to deliver
them and there's like feesassociated with that and I have
to send him money Feesassociated.
And he was like oh, and I waslike so this isn't unlimited.
You can't just like unlimitedlywant everything that you see.
(08:39):
I was like you just have tounderstand like you're going to
have to pick one of those thingsthat you circled and that was
the beginning.
You know where it escalated towas me being like Do you believe
there is a bunny rabbit that ishopping around this
neighborhood?
And he's like you're sayingthere's not an Easter bunny and
(09:01):
I was like yes, and he was likewell, what about Santa?
And I was like you do the math,clay, you do the math.
How old was he?
He was seven and a half Seven.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
I was in first grade when I found out.
I thought it was the best thingever.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
I was like, oh, I know, and it's a secret, like I
know what the adults know and noother kid knows it.
You wouldn't think that myniece same thing, same thing, my
niece.
My sister never let my niecebelieve in Santa, but she told
her it was a secret and that,like all the other kids believed
and so like not to ruin that,and she really hasn't.
She's 13 now and she never toldanybody my brother, who will be
here soon.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
I should get him to tell this and plug it back in.
But I he was like real mad atmy parents.
I was so psyched, I figured itout and I called my mom.
I was like, hey, come on, comehere, come here, come here.
I was like this isn't realright.
And she's like no, no.
And I was like, well, whatabout this?
None of these are.
She's like no, no, they're not.
Uh, she's like we just do thatfor fun.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
I was like yes, got it.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
He took the opposite approach of like how have you
been lying to me like this?
He was a 40-year-old man infirst grade.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
So was Clay.
Clay was so upset he was likethis is devastating news.
I mean because, clay, this iswhy I had to tell him For his
eighth, going into his eighthyear he asked in his letter to
Santa, after I told him therewas a budget, then he decided he
would ask for something thatdidn't need any budget, just a
little magic.
He was like I don't even needyou know what?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
no, money this year.
I need a baby brother.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Nope.
He said I want you to make me avampire, and I was like it's
free, all.
Right, I got to tell yousomething, biden.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
I was like it's free All right, I got to tell you
something I was like.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I was like, well, vampires aren't real.
And he was like what?
And I was like in the Easterbunny and he was like what?
And he was like and Santa, Iwas like it's going to sound
really bad.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
He was devastated.
All those band-aids at the sametime.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Same time.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
But here's his thing.
But yeah, so with the elf orwhatever, I really just from the
beginning it was like okay, andI don't even remember how much
they believed at that point Liamprobably still did but it was
just like he's a hiding elf andhe can like see it because he's
hiding somewhere, and that's it.
He didn't get into mischief,they just had fun every morning,
(11:18):
a good laugh at that all right.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
So I feel like there's a mom, a dad and aunt,
whoever who's listening, maybe agrandma who stepped in,
granddaddy who stepped intoparenting role, who feels a lot
of pressure because of what thesocietal norm is right now.
It's just so extra, I like withall of these things.
So what do you say to thatparent who's, just like you know
, drawing on a mustache with anExpo marker?
(11:42):
This is the best we got, but itwas hilarious, by the way.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
You did really great with that one.
It was really funny.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
It was very funny.
But what do we say to thoseparents who feel a little
inundated with?
Speaker 2 (12:01):
I mean, obviously this is comparison, kind of
seeping in, but like it's heavyin this season.
Well, I think there's two partsand one is less Grinch like
than the other.
Um, the first is I think someof it probably does bring joy to
the parents, like that they getto do this for their child.
And so when I say here I meansit here and sound like such a
jerk.
Um, I know that part of itcomes from.
I can do this for my kid andI'm going to, and that's really
great.
The second part is we're such asociety attached to stuff and
(12:27):
then making sure everyone knowsthat we have the stuff, and what
we know with every bit ofresearch there is that the stuff
doesn't make us happy.
So we set these little peopleup for the more stuff you have
and the bigger and the betteryou're going to be full of joy
and the more extravagant yeah.
(12:47):
And then when they aren't, it'sreally devastating.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Mm, hmm, and they're kind of pulled in early to the
vortex of that illusion ofperfection, which we know
doesn't exist, or the illusionthat eventually I'll hit that
mark and that thing will make mehappy, that whatever the car I
get when I'm 16, or the whatever.
But like, that's not true and Idon't know, is that what we're
(13:10):
playing into when we're tryingto make it look so perfect for
Instagram and tell our friendsthat we made the balloon arch
and we rode in on the rocket?
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Well, it's really hard to go the other way.
So I have a friend in myneighborhood who I really admire
her and I don't think I havethis in me.
They are allowed to ask for anexperience for Christmas her
kids.
Just the best Every year they doa two-week trip, like one or
two-week trip, but the childrenask for it and they make a case
(13:39):
for it like.
This is why I want to go towhatever it is.
This year they're doing hawaii.
And then on epiphany which I'mgrew up jewish, I don't know
what that means they give onegift that day and her kids like
get it and they love it, and Ithink so that's where the that's
like the other side of this andI think that's really lovely.
(14:01):
But I think that's really bravebecause of when you get back to
school, what'd you get fromSanta?
You know, what'd you get forChristmas?
Speaker 1 (14:07):
You said how we're setting our kids up for failure,
but how are we setting ourselfup for failure when we do this?
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Make a big to-do.
Do we have to live up to thesestandards?
Because, like, my answer isjust full stop, no, right, like
you don't have to.
If someone wants to do theballoon arch and like post that,
great for them, if that's whatmakes them happy and whatever.
But I don't think we should allhave to live up to someone
else's standards of how tocelebrate or how to handle that.
Well, you don't, but you'reinundated with it.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I think that's the point because of the way we live
, it all have to live up tosomeone else's standards of how
to celebrate or how to handlethat.
Well, you don't, but you'reinundated with it.
I think that's the pointbecause of the way we live
culturally.
You're seeing these things andlike you might not, because
you're not following a bunch ofmoms necessarily.
Well, maybe you are, I don'tknow.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Do you have friends that are moms.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Never correct me.
Well, okay, anyways, how are wesetting ourselves up for
failure?
Speaker 2 (14:56):
So the part where we set ourselves up.
That is 100% on the parent thatis looking at Instagram.
So when we see that and I willown that when I first saw it, my
first feeling was, oh shit, Ihaven't done enough.
And what parent hasn't felthave I not done enough?
And what parent hasn't felthave I not done enough?
(15:16):
And particularly, I spent somany years as a single mom.
My kids didn't necessarily havethe same experiences as other
kids and I already carry thatguilt, and so I had to
acknowledge like what is this?
Like what's my part inpanicking over?
Have I done enough, when I canpromise you parents that are
listening, no one has ever cometo therapy and said my parents
(15:38):
lied to me about Santa and I'venever forgiven them for it.
Are you sure?
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Never, please, never said that to you, just as a
friend, Nope.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
And then no one has ever said to me I didn't get the
balloon arch.
When you know, Ruby Sue, my elfcame, and so that's the
important part that we have toremember is are we driving this
because it's like pure joy andfun for us, or am I driving this
because I believe that Ihaven't been enough or done
enough for these little tinypeople?
Because these little tinypeople that we're raising, you
(16:07):
know what they need.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Security Well time and to know that they're heard.
They need no holes and cracks,and holes and cracks don't come
from the elf flying or notflying on the balloon arch.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Love and joy.
And the other night Bobby wasputting Gus to bed and Bobby is
a new stepdad and he came outand was tearful and he's like
all that kid wants is for him.
Gus was showing Bobby somethingit was a video game and he was
like he was so excited for me tolisten for five minutes.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
I tell people, I tell people, I tell parents all the
time.
Well, one, I'm always like, hey, if I can do this, anyone,
literally anyone, can.
I actually just met a mom whofound out she's pregnant today
and she's like I don't, didn'twant this, and I'm like, don't
worry, you're 35 years old andyou have gainful employment.
You're going to be fine.
You're going to kill it.
But I think, like what I alwayssay is 15 minutes.
(17:05):
If you can give your children15 minutes of looking at them,
with no technology and askingthem questions, even if they go
fine, okay, I don't know, itdoesn't matter, because that was
literally all teenage yearswith my boys You're killing it
and they will remember how thatfelt, that you were looking at
them, listening to them, askingthem questions, and I feel like
(17:28):
that's stability, that's knowingyou care.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
And I know I gave the example of I got a car.
Um, you know I was 19.
So it wasn't like I was sevenwhen I got this car.
But my Christmas memories as achild I don't even remember what
I got.
We played Christmas charades.
You know, we smoked cigarettesat age nine.
I'm just kidding.
That's what it's all about.
Is I remember these like littleblips of like fun and joy and
(17:54):
silly.
Blips of like fun and joy andsilly.
And because we were the Jewsthat celebrated Christmas, one
of our neighbors put a fulllight up nativity scene in our
front yard as a joke and like.
Those are the things that Ihave such memory of and that's
what made it magical.
Not because of the the balloonarch.
Well, there wasn't balloonarches in the nineties.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
It was the cigarettes it was the vintageantage
Regulars.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Yeah, no same.
I mean, like my biggestmemories were that Reed and I,
my brother and I, could not makeit through Advent without
laughing, like as my mom likeread the Bible verse and stuff.
We just couldn't do it and ityou know now it would drive me
crazy as a parent, but it drovethem crazy and we just couldn't
do it.
Every year it was the thing.
And every Christmas we have ahalf-court basketball shot
(18:37):
competition and that's the thingthat's our tradition Every year
we see who can hit the mosthalf-court shots.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Okay, I was talking to a friend the other day who
was telling me that she got anadvent calendar for her two
daughters and she was like, andthen you know, it's this big
production now because, like I,they get, they open the day and
then they then they there's ascavenger hunt, there's a note
in it and they look for a giftand then they open a gift.
And I was like, do you knowwhat Advent is?
She was like no, and I was likeit's literally the exercise of
waiting.
Like that's actually what thewhole thing is about.
(19:12):
It's the days of longing andwaiting for something and you're
giving them a gift every day.
And I was like you don't haveto believe that, but that's
actually what Advent is about.
It's the coming.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Yeah, it's the final countdown.
It's the countdown there.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
I was dying.
I was like well, that's youknow what you do you.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
So I think the moral of the story even though I
sounded like a judgmentalasshole in the beginning of this
is if it brings you joy, cool.
If you were more on my side oflike oh shit, have I done enough
?
You've done enough.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Yeah, that's the whole thing is like.
If it brings you joy, awesome,do that.
But like I'm not going to havea gender reveal party, even
though lots of couples love todo that, I'm not gonna do that.
Nor do I feel pressure to dothat just because other people
on social media do it, and noone should feel pressure.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
You're not going to trick your friends into therapy
for a weekend.
You're not going to do that.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
That doesn't bring you joy, only I do that.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
And well you're invited to a weekend getaway in.
January you and Danielle.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
It's a lie, Gosh.
I am so busy in 2025.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Yeah, I think that, like I wrote down some notes
when Claire and I were talkingearlier of just like obviously
you're in a season where it'sreally easy to get caught up on
the details of did you doeverything perfectly or all the
presents wrapped exactly the wayyou wanted them to?
Please, don't sweat the smallstuff, like.
Your kids are not going toremember how their presents were
wrapped.
They are going to remember howyou made them feel, how seen
they were, how much fun they had.
(20:39):
The memories you're making.
Um, don't feel like you have tobe a superhero.
You don't have to do whateverybody else is doing.
Just don't get into the crazy.
Don't get sucked into thesocial media vortex of what a
perfect family is allegedlysupposed to look like.
That's not real.
Whatever your family looks likeis perfect.
It's perfect for your family.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Go ahead and watch the Martha Stewart documentary.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Yes, we mentioned that in the last episode as well
.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
She makes things look beautiful.
And what a nightmare it was,holy shit.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Listen, God.
If you haven't watched it yet,please make that part of your
Christmas regimen, becausehearing her say things like as
she's walking to her garden, Iam very upset about these
peonies, yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Claire, after you mentioned it last episode.
The next night or two wewatched it Two dead peonies.
Yeah, claire, after youmentioned it last episode.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Like the next night or two, we watched it.
Two dead peonies.
I'm very unhappy about thatVery unhappy, very unhappy.
I loved it, yeah.
So I think and this is the likehippie Claire coming out and
I'm fine with welcoming her intothe space, but, like when it's
just based in, like love andgoodness, it will be just love
and goodness.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Yeah, and don't be afraid to ditch social media for
the holidays.
You don't have to have thatshit.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
I'm going to keep watching the balloon arches.
I like to hate follow every nowand then.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
First of all, she's going to keep sending them to me
.
We'll start including you, Will?
We want you to see what we'reseeing.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
It's okay, but then is it gonna like target me with
stuff?
Speaker 1 (22:05):
yes, god, I hope so for you page.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
All the way, baby uh, the experience that we don't do
, experiences like, uh, hawaiior whatever.
But I tried this year.
I was like what's gonna be afun like thing we can do as a
family, and so we watched thatshow hot ones where you eat the
hot, it's a sean hey or seanevans.
Sean evans totally different.
Sean uh, where you interviewlike the most famous people in
(22:29):
the world and they eat reallyhot stuff.
So we bought the lineup of thehot sauces from Hot Ones and the
kids don't know it.
We're going to do and havefriends come over and I'm going
to be the interviewer and I'mgoing to interview everybody as
we eat the crazy hot wings.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Are you going to put it on wings?
Speaker 3 (22:44):
Yeah, wings, are you going to put it?
Speaker 2 (22:45):
on wings yeah, wings, yeah, yeah, that is fun.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
It's going to be fun.
Y'all should come.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
I would love to.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
That's a Christmas party, I'll attend I would like
to be in the audience for that.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
I don't have to go to one holiday party this year.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Wait, what do you mean?
You weren't invited Partially.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
But we leave for Utah on the 20th.
I'm in yoga teacher trainingthe weekend before You're out.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I'm out, out, out out .
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Speaking of yoga, we are definitely going to be
hosting a very small retreatyoga retreat on the lake in
February late February, I wasabout to say like I can't wait
to do I'm not at a retreatbecause this feels like a trap.
It is a trap, but I do about tosay like I can't wait to do you
.
I'm not at a retreat Cause thisfeels like a trap.
It is a trap but I do want todo yoga at some point.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
I want to we would like for you to make an
appearance and you'll be theguest of honor.
You can only come for a littlewhile because it'll be women.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
I hosted an all women's thing recently and I
told them about that.
This, I told them about thatthis one went swimmingly and it
was like a ton of fun.
But I told them how nervous Iwas when I just did the very
quick, the five minute.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Q and A.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Well, it was just it was a smaller group.
The thing I hosted recentlywhere I was the only male in the
room was like hundreds of womenand that was great Cause I
don't have to make eye contactand the jokes can.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Yeah, whatever can go over people's heads this was
like staring at a room of like20 people.
So what we're saying is infebruary 2025 we're gonna do a
little exposure therapy for willand host a retreat, and that
means you get to like spend thenight with us yes, yes, it's
actually two nights and it'sgonna be super fun private chef,
really great yoga with claire,and obviously talking about our
(24:27):
feelings, because would it evenbe with me at the lake if we
weren't?
and, to be clear, I will not bespending the night we know
you're not invited for that,you're just invited for exposure
therapy.
Um hey, merry christmas.
We uh hope that it's nopressure and super easy and
happy Hanukkah, thank you forincluding us.
(24:48):
You're welcome and whatever else.
Hey, thank you guys forlistening.
We love having you here.
We're so happy to be back forseason two.
Please give us a review, shareus with your friends and if you
ever want to reach out and youhave a topic you want us to
cover or something that you'rejust wondering about, let us
(25:08):
know before you cut bangs ishosted by claire fearman and
laura quick and produced by me,will walk me the best.
Welcome to, before you Cut Bangs.
I'm Laura Quick and I'm ClaireFehrman.
I am a professional storytellerand I'm currently working on my
first book.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I have worked in mental health for many years in
lots of capacities and this is areally important time to tell
you our big disclaimer this isnot therapy.
We are not your therapists orcoaches or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yeah, I mean you shouldn't really trust us very
much at all.
Unless you want to and it turnsout well, then you can trust us
.
That's great.
The other day I get a messagefrom Claire, where I see on her
Instagram where she has let theelves out the elves are out.
(00:47):
Yeah, okay, and her elves aredoing ridiculous things and she
was like these people and theirelves riding in on sleighs and
floating into the oblivion withthese welcome signs and whatever
, and I thought I was like whatI'm so far removed from that.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Do you know what we're?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
talking about yeah, the shelf thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Right, I'm more of a snoop on a stoop kind of girl,
you know what I mean, butanyways, I just don't have kids
that are little like that, so Iwasn't even thinking about it.
Then I started seeing,literally on my Instagram Holy
moly, the level, the presentdelivery, the cards, the Advent
(01:29):
calendars, with a scavenger huntattached to it that takes you
to a day.
Every day, on Advent, you get agift.
What is happening?
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Yeah, who has time for all of this?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
So that's what we're talking about today what the
actual what's really going on,what the what?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
So intro question really quick what's the best
Christmas gift you ever received?
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Ooh, that's hard.
My grandma got me a guitar withher greenback stamps from the
Piggly Wiggly.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Okay, nice.
Do you know what a?
Speaker 1 (02:00):
greenback stamp is.
I don't.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (02:01):
remember Piggly Wiggly.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
I mean, I know Piggly Wiggly very well.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
So back in the day they would give you stamps, like
if you shopped there and youwould collect enough stamps and
then you could buy like China,or you could buy guitars.
Yeah, so we didn't get a pig.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
until after that we had Western.
They could have done it there,but it was a very popular thing.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
You'd get your stamps and then you'd get a prize.
It was like a rewards program.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
It was like Marlboro the.
Marlboro magazine.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
A camel Camel Camel box.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Yes, yes, camel box.
Forgot about those.
I got a car once on Christmas,wow Okay.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Okay, yeah, like you were a younger person.
Yeah, person Like yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
I wish it was last year.
I'd love to have had adifferent car now.
But my mother was a preschoolteacher, my dad worked for a
paper company and then, after hegot sober and we started
working and they started workingin the treatment industry, it
was like the first time we hadcars with leather seats and like
went on airplanes, like ourlives really changed and we had
(03:03):
these like golden yearChristmases.
I think it was like the firsttime that we got folding money,
you know, and folding money, nomore pocket change.
Two Volvo keys, one for me, onefor my brother.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
That's great.
As the parent, I always think,when I see those commercials
where they're giving one to thespouse, like the stress that
would be involved.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Can you imagine?
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Like, well, how did we pay for this?
Where's this money coming from?
Like that would be mine.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
No, we were.
That was like our first car and, to be fair, mine was a station
wagon.
I didn't like get a cool,sporty Volvo or an SUV.
I named her Susan the stationwagon and she was great.
That's great.
All right, she was great,that's great.
What about?
Speaker 3 (03:41):
you Drums.
Very surprised, I did not thinkat all, and they got me like
the coolest, like 1968 Roger setwhich is like the Ringo Starr
kind of it was incredible.
So then it changed my life Likethat, my whole life, literally.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
the trajectory of your life has changed.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
What my life is today is because of that Christmas
present.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Had you played drums before?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
No, with chopsticks on mop buckets.
That's what I would do, and Ihad learned I'd been playing for
a year on mop buckets, alongwith stuff.
God, that's wholesome.
It was crazy.
It was crazy, all right.
So these elves, these elves,your post, one of the posts that
I saw, and I think it may bethe only one I've seen that you
posted you were like I hatethese elves, but look what they
(04:30):
did.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
It made me think she really likes this because it was
very creative.
What you had done.
That made me laugh.
She was still laughing the nextday when we talked on the phone
.
Okay, so what I did?
Listeners, if you don't followme on instagram because I don't
let most people um, my kids hadthese like beautiful black and
white portraits.
So their elves came in with anexpo marker, dry erase marker,
and drew like mustaches andeyebrows and things on their
beautiful kid portraits and thenthey fell asleep with their
little Expo markers.
(04:51):
So this is my thing on elves.
I love nostalgic things.
I love tradition.
There are things about when mykids are little that I like,
ache for, that I'll never rockthem again or push a stroller
like.
There's things that I trulymiss.
I will not miss the fuckingelves.
(05:11):
I won't.
It's a lot of work I have toset and there's an alarm on my
phone for 9, 11, 9, 1, 1 pm thatsays move the elves.
I run out of creative ideas.
That's 24 days of creativityyeah and it just feels like a
lot so, but I do it because itbrings them joy and that's worth
(05:32):
it.
The the part that I got spicyabout and she did get spicy go
on.
People had balloon arches andbanners made to welcome their
elves no, no, so many.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
And I thought she was making that up.
And then I just started like Idon't do a lot of scrolling and
so I don't see a ton of stuff.
And then, after she said that,I started scrolling and I was
like holy shit, I mean my wholefeed was flooded with moms going
over the top.
I mean there was one elf ridinga balloon rocket a friend that
(06:10):
lives in Huntsville riding arocket into their living room
with all these gifts underneathfor the children.
And I was like how is this?
My thing is this, how is itsustainable?
And what's the expectation thatyou're setting for your
children and for yourself?
Like, how are you going tomeasure up against that?
It's just like how to feel,like a failure every freaking
(06:33):
day if you don't hit the majormark again, like I don't know.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
So we're talking about?
You said like people hadballoon arches and stuff.
Are your friends, or likeparents of your children's
friends or people in socialmedia?
Speaker 2 (06:44):
None of my direct, for like my tier ones didn't do
it.
But people that I'm friends onsocial media with their moms in
the neighborhood I mean my momfriends and I joke about it Like
we're like where'd you put theelf today?
And my best friend was like Iput it in the pet food container
because I couldn't think ofanything else and like it was
(07:05):
the best I could do.
And her kid loved it becausekids like pure simple things.
And she's like where's the elf?
Speaker 3 (07:11):
oh, my gosh.
I got in the dog food like hadto look for the elf.
Yeah, I, I really just uh, Ithought the elf thing was kind
of a funny, fun thing.
I did not do any of thenonsense.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
I don't think I hated it until I'm like.
My kids are coming home andthey're, like you know, Jane's
elf chartered Delta one to bringher in from the North pole.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Yeah, different kind of elf.
I would explain.
I would say, look, we have abluff park elf and here's what
our elf does.
Our elf just hides.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
We had a hiding elf, the conversation that I had with
Clay when he was like probablyseven or eight.
I'll never forget it.
So this is back when you wouldgive him like a catalog to like
pick what do you want, you knowlike make your wishlist or
whatever.
And he went through and when hegave me that catalog back and
there was a go-kart, amotorcycle, a drum set, an iPad,
(07:56):
like all these things were, andI was like, okay, and Clay, if
Clay were here in his defense hewould say this is a pretty
damaging moment for him in hischildhood.
But I was like I need you tounderstand this is what I said
the first year when he was outof control.
I was like I have to send moneyto Santa.
Okay, so everybody getsdifferent stuff because
(08:19):
everybody's budget that they cansend to Santa.
Santa has to make all thesegifts and then he has to deliver
them and there's like feesassociated with that and I have
to send him money Feesassociated.
And he was like oh, and I waslike so this isn't unlimited.
You can't just like unlimitedlywant everything that you see.
(08:39):
I was like you just have tounderstand like you're going to
have to pick one of those thingsthat you circled and that was
the beginning.
You know where it escalated towas me being like Do you believe
there is a bunny rabbit that ishopping around this
neighborhood?
And he's like you're sayingthere's not an Easter bunny and
(09:01):
I was like yes, and he was likewell, what about Santa?
And I was like you do the math,clay, you do the math.
How old was he?
He was seven and a half Seven.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
I was in first grade when I found out.
I thought it was the best thingever.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
I was like, oh, I know, and it's a secret, like I
know what the adults know and noother kid knows it.
You wouldn't think that myniece same thing, same thing, my
niece.
My sister never let my niecebelieve in Santa, but she told
her it was a secret and that,like all the other kids believed
and so like not to ruin that,and she really hasn't.
She's 13 now and she never toldanybody my brother, who will be
here soon.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
I should get him to tell this and plug it back in.
But I he was like real mad atmy parents.
I was so psyched, I figured itout and I called my mom.
I was like, hey, come on, comehere, come here, come here.
I was like this isn't realright.
And she's like no, no.
And I was like, well, whatabout this?
None of these are.
She's like no, no, they're not.
Uh, she's like we just do thatfor fun.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
I was like yes, got it.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
He took the opposite approach of like how have you
been lying to me like this?
He was a 40-year-old man infirst grade.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
So was Clay.
Clay was so upset he was likethis is devastating news.
I mean because, clay, this iswhy I had to tell him For his
eighth, going into his eighthyear he asked in his letter to
Santa, after I told him therewas a budget, then he decided he
would ask for something thatdidn't need any budget, just a
little magic.
He was like I don't even needyou know what?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
no, money this year.
I need a baby brother.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Nope.
He said I want you to make me avampire, and I was like it's
free, all.
Right, I got to tell yousomething, biden.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
I was like it's free All right, I got to tell you
something I was like.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I was like, well, vampires aren't real.
And he was like what?
And I was like in the Easterbunny and he was like what?
And he was like and Santa, Iwas like it's going to sound
really bad.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
He was devastated.
All those band-aids at the sametime.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Same time.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
But here's his thing.
But yeah, so with the elf orwhatever, I really just from the
beginning it was like okay, andI don't even remember how much
they believed at that point Liamprobably still did but it was
just like he's a hiding elf andhe can like see it because he's
hiding somewhere, and that's it.
He didn't get into mischief,they just had fun every morning,
(11:18):
a good laugh at that all right.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
So I feel like there's a mom, a dad and aunt,
whoever who's listening, maybe agrandma who stepped in,
granddaddy who stepped intoparenting role, who feels a lot
of pressure because of what thesocietal norm is right now.
It's just so extra, I like withall of these things.
So what do you say to thatparent who's, just like you know
, drawing on a mustache with anExpo marker?
(11:42):
This is the best we got, but itwas hilarious, by the way.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
You did really great with that one.
It was really funny.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
It was very funny.
But what do we say to thoseparents who feel a little
inundated with?
Speaker 2 (12:01):
I mean, obviously this is comparison, kind of
seeping in, but like it's heavyin this season.
Well, I think there's two partsand one is less Grinch like
than the other.
Um, the first is I think someof it probably does bring joy to
the parents, like that they getto do this for their child.
And so when I say here I meansit here and sound like such a
jerk.
Um, I know that part of itcomes from.
I can do this for my kid andI'm going to, and that's really
great.
The second part is we're such asociety attached to stuff and
(12:27):
then making sure everyone knowsthat we have the stuff, and what
we know with every bit ofresearch there is that the stuff
doesn't make us happy.
So we set these little peopleup for the more stuff you have
and the bigger and the betteryou're going to be full of joy
and the more extravagant yeah.
(12:47):
And then when they aren't, it'sreally devastating.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Mm, hmm, and they're kind of pulled in early to the
vortex of that illusion ofperfection, which we know
doesn't exist, or the illusionthat eventually I'll hit that
mark and that thing will make mehappy, that whatever the car I
get when I'm 16, or the whatever.
But like, that's not true and Idon't know, is that what we're
(13:10):
playing into when we're tryingto make it look so perfect for
Instagram and tell our friendsthat we made the balloon arch
and we rode in on the rocket?
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Well, it's really hard to go the other way.
So I have a friend in myneighborhood who I really admire
her and I don't think I havethis in me.
They are allowed to ask for anexperience for Christmas her
kids.
Just the best Every year they doa two-week trip, like one or
two-week trip, but the childrenask for it and they make a case
(13:39):
for it like.
This is why I want to go towhatever it is.
This year they're doing hawaii.
And then on epiphany which I'mgrew up jewish, I don't know
what that means they give onegift that day and her kids like
get it and they love it, and Ithink so that's where the that's
like the other side of this andI think that's really lovely.
(14:01):
But I think that's really bravebecause of when you get back to
school, what'd you get fromSanta?
You know, what'd you get forChristmas?
Speaker 1 (14:07):
You said how we're setting our kids up for failure,
but how are we setting ourselfup for failure when we do this?
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Make a big to-do.
Do we have to live up to thesestandards?
Because, like, my answer isjust full stop, no, right, like
you don't have to.
If someone wants to do theballoon arch and like post that,
great for them, if that's whatmakes them happy and whatever.
But I don't think we should allhave to live up to someone
else's standards of how tocelebrate or how to handle that.
Well, you don't, but you'reinundated with it.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I think that's the point because of the way we live
, it all have to live up tosomeone else's standards of how
to celebrate or how to handlethat.
Well, you don't, but you'reinundated with it.
I think that's the pointbecause of the way we live
culturally.
You're seeing these things andlike you might not, because
you're not following a bunch ofmoms necessarily.
Well, maybe you are, I don'tknow.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Do you have friends that are moms.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Never correct me.
Well, okay, anyways, how are wesetting ourselves up for
failure?
Speaker 2 (14:56):
So the part where we set ourselves up.
That is 100% on the parent thatis looking at Instagram.
So when we see that and I willown that when I first saw it, my
first feeling was, oh shit, Ihaven't done enough.
And what parent hasn't felthave I not done enough?
And what parent hasn't felthave I not done enough?
(15:16):
And particularly, I spent somany years as a single mom.
My kids didn't necessarily havethe same experiences as other
kids and I already carry thatguilt, and so I had to
acknowledge like what is this?
Like what's my part inpanicking over?
Have I done enough, when I canpromise you parents that are
listening, no one has ever cometo therapy and said my parents
(15:38):
lied to me about Santa and I'venever forgiven them for it.
Are you sure?
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Never, please, never said that to you, just as a
friend, Nope.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
And then no one has ever said to me I didn't get the
balloon arch.
When you know, Ruby Sue, my elfcame, and so that's the
important part that we have toremember is are we driving this
because it's like pure joy andfun for us, or am I driving this
because I believe that Ihaven't been enough or done
enough for these little tinypeople?
Because these little tinypeople that we're raising, you
(16:07):
know what they need.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Security Well time and to know that they're heard.
They need no holes and cracks,and holes and cracks don't come
from the elf flying or notflying on the balloon arch.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Love and joy.
And the other night Bobby wasputting Gus to bed and Bobby is
a new stepdad and he came outand was tearful and he's like
all that kid wants is for him.
Gus was showing Bobby somethingit was a video game and he was
like he was so excited for me tolisten for five minutes.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
I tell people, I tell people, I tell parents all the
time.
Well, one, I'm always like, hey, if I can do this, anyone,
literally anyone, can.
I actually just met a mom whofound out she's pregnant today
and she's like I don't, didn'twant this, and I'm like, don't
worry, you're 35 years old andyou have gainful employment.
You're going to be fine.
You're going to kill it.
But I think, like what I alwayssay is 15 minutes.
(17:05):
If you can give your children15 minutes of looking at them,
with no technology and askingthem questions, even if they go
fine, okay, I don't know, itdoesn't matter, because that was
literally all teenage yearswith my boys You're killing it
and they will remember how thatfelt, that you were looking at
them, listening to them, askingthem questions, and I feel like
(17:28):
that's stability, that's knowingyou care.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
And I know I gave the example of I got a car.
Um, you know I was 19.
So it wasn't like I was sevenwhen I got this car.
But my Christmas memories as achild I don't even remember what
I got.
We played Christmas charades.
You know, we smoked cigarettesat age nine.
I'm just kidding.
That's what it's all about.
Is I remember these like littleblips of like fun and joy and
(17:54):
silly.
Blips of like fun and joy andsilly.
And because we were the Jewsthat celebrated Christmas, one
of our neighbors put a fulllight up nativity scene in our
front yard as a joke and like.
Those are the things that Ihave such memory of and that's
what made it magical.
Not because of the the balloonarch.
Well, there wasn't balloonarches in the nineties.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
It was the cigarettes it was the vintageantage
Regulars.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Yeah, no same.
I mean, like my biggestmemories were that Reed and I,
my brother and I, could not makeit through Advent without
laughing, like as my mom likeread the Bible verse and stuff.
We just couldn't do it and ityou know now it would drive me
crazy as a parent, but it drovethem crazy and we just couldn't
do it.
Every year it was the thing.
And every Christmas we have ahalf-court basketball shot
(18:37):
competition and that's the thingthat's our tradition Every year
we see who can hit the mosthalf-court shots.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Okay, I was talking to a friend the other day who
was telling me that she got anadvent calendar for her two
daughters and she was like, andthen you know, it's this big
production now because, like I,they get, they open the day and
then they then they there's ascavenger hunt, there's a note
in it and they look for a giftand then they open a gift.
And I was like, do you knowwhat Advent is?
She was like no, and I was likeit's literally the exercise of
waiting.
Like that's actually what thewhole thing is about.
(19:12):
It's the days of longing andwaiting for something and you're
giving them a gift every day.
And I was like you don't haveto believe that, but that's
actually what Advent is about.
It's the coming.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Yeah, it's the final countdown.
It's the countdown there.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
I was dying.
I was like well, that's youknow what you do you.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
So I think the moral of the story even though I
sounded like a judgmentalasshole in the beginning of this
is if it brings you joy, cool.
If you were more on my side oflike oh shit, have I done enough
?
You've done enough.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Yeah, that's the whole thing is like.
If it brings you joy, awesome,do that.
But like I'm not going to havea gender reveal party, even
though lots of couples love todo that, I'm not gonna do that.
Nor do I feel pressure to dothat just because other people
on social media do it, and noone should feel pressure.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
You're not going to trick your friends into therapy
for a weekend.
You're not going to do that.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
That doesn't bring you joy, only I do that.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
And well you're invited to a weekend getaway in.
January you and Danielle.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
It's a lie, Gosh.
I am so busy in 2025.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Yeah, I think that, like I wrote down some notes
when Claire and I were talkingearlier of just like obviously
you're in a season where it'sreally easy to get caught up on
the details of did you doeverything perfectly or all the
presents wrapped exactly the wayyou wanted them to?
Please, don't sweat the smallstuff, like.
Your kids are not going toremember how their presents were
wrapped.
They are going to remember howyou made them feel, how seen
they were, how much fun they had.
(20:39):
The memories you're making.
Um, don't feel like you have tobe a superhero.
You don't have to do whateverybody else is doing.
Just don't get into the crazy.
Don't get sucked into thesocial media vortex of what a
perfect family is allegedlysupposed to look like.
That's not real.
Whatever your family looks likeis perfect.
It's perfect for your family.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Go ahead and watch the Martha Stewart documentary.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Yes, we mentioned that in the last episode as well
.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
She makes things look beautiful.
And what a nightmare it was,holy shit.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Listen, God.
If you haven't watched it yet,please make that part of your
Christmas regimen, becausehearing her say things like as
she's walking to her garden, Iam very upset about these
peonies, yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Claire, after you mentioned it last episode.
The next night or two wewatched it Two dead peonies.
Yeah, claire, after youmentioned it last episode.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Like the next night or two, we watched it.
Two dead peonies.
I'm very unhappy about thatVery unhappy, very unhappy.
I loved it, yeah.
So I think and this is the likehippie Claire coming out and
I'm fine with welcoming her intothe space, but, like when it's
just based in, like love andgoodness, it will be just love
and goodness.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Yeah, and don't be afraid to ditch social media for
the holidays.
You don't have to have thatshit.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
I'm going to keep watching the balloon arches.
I like to hate follow every nowand then.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
First of all, she's going to keep sending them to me
.
We'll start including you, Will?
We want you to see what we'reseeing.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
It's okay, but then is it gonna like target me with
stuff?
Speaker 1 (22:05):
yes, god, I hope so for you page.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
All the way, baby uh, the experience that we don't do
, experiences like, uh, hawaiior whatever.
But I tried this year.
I was like what's gonna be afun like thing we can do as a
family, and so we watched thatshow hot ones where you eat the
hot, it's a sean hey or seanevans.
Sean evans totally different.
Sean uh, where you interviewlike the most famous people in
(22:29):
the world and they eat reallyhot stuff.
So we bought the lineup of thehot sauces from Hot Ones and the
kids don't know it.
We're going to do and havefriends come over and I'm going
to be the interviewer and I'mgoing to interview everybody as
we eat the crazy hot wings.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Are you going to put it on wings?
Speaker 3 (22:44):
Yeah, wings, are you going to put it?
Speaker 2 (22:45):
on wings yeah, wings, yeah, yeah, that is fun.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
It's going to be fun.
Y'all should come.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
I would love to.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
That's a Christmas party, I'll attend I would like
to be in the audience for that.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
I don't have to go to one holiday party this year.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Wait, what do you mean?
You weren't invited Partially.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
But we leave for Utah on the 20th.
I'm in yoga teacher trainingthe weekend before You're out.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I'm out, out, out out .
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Speaking of yoga, we are definitely going to be
hosting a very small retreatyoga retreat on the lake in
February late February, I wasabout to say like I can't wait
to do I'm not at a retreatbecause this feels like a trap.
It is a trap, but I do about tosay like I can't wait to do you
.
I'm not at a retreat Cause thisfeels like a trap.
It is a trap but I do want todo yoga at some point.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
I want to we would like for you to make an
appearance and you'll be theguest of honor.
You can only come for a littlewhile because it'll be women.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
I hosted an all women's thing recently and I
told them about that.
This, I told them about thatthis one went swimmingly and it
was like a ton of fun.
But I told them how nervous Iwas when I just did the very
quick, the five minute.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Q and A.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Well, it was just it was a smaller group.
The thing I hosted recentlywhere I was the only male in the
room was like hundreds of womenand that was great Cause I
don't have to make eye contactand the jokes can.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Yeah, whatever can go over people's heads this was
like staring at a room of like20 people.
So what we're saying is infebruary 2025 we're gonna do a
little exposure therapy for willand host a retreat, and that
means you get to like spend thenight with us yes, yes, it's
actually two nights and it'sgonna be super fun private chef,
really great yoga with claire,and obviously talking about our
(24:27):
feelings, because would it evenbe with me at the lake if we
weren't?
and, to be clear, I will not bespending the night we know
you're not invited for that,you're just invited for exposure
therapy.
Um hey, merry christmas.
We uh hope that it's nopressure and super easy and
happy Hanukkah, thank you forincluding us.
(24:48):
You're welcome and whatever else.
Hey, thank you guys forlistening.
We love having you here.
We're so happy to be back forseason two.
Please give us a review, shareus with your friends and if you
ever want to reach out and youhave a topic you want us to
cover or something that you'rejust wondering about, let us
(25:08):
know before you cut bangs ishosted by claire fearman and
laura quick and produced by me,will walk me the best.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.